WEBVTT
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You're listening to Quick Wins for ADHD moms.
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Hey, I'm Jessica Lynn Lewis.
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The last two episodes, we have had the wonderful Leah Carroll join us.
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I hope you've been learning so much from her.
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I know I have.
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And because the last episode was so long, we decided to split that up so that we keep it at 20-minute episodes.
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So this actually is the second part of the last episode, and we're just going to jump right in.
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Yeah, exactly.
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And like I said, when you kind of wake up and you can do any of them, and maybe they all are genuinely the same priority.
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None of them have a real deadline.
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Um, nobody's really waiting on it, then you can go into this spiral of decision paralysis.
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I just don't know which one to choose.
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They've all got about 10 steps.
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They're all overwhelming me.
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I'm just gonna kind of uh do something else that's easy.
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That could be cleaning your house, which is great because that needs to be done.
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But I find too that I process things like, okay, I'm just gonna go put the laundry in or fold laundry.
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And as I'm folding laundry, I'm able to process, like slow down and process.
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Oh, okay, I know what I need to do now.
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I need to do, I need to work on this.
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This can wait.
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Yeah.
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Yeah.
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And a lot of times we will go to things like that.
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Like I find myself, and I'm not like, I don't like, I'm not one of those people that I'm like, I love cleaning.
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It brings me calm.
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I'm not one of those people, but I find myself going towards those tasks because I know exactly how to do them.
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There's no that's why.
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Yeah, there's no, um, what's the word?
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Ambiguity?
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I can never say it.
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Ambiguity.
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Thank you.
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Um, there is none of that in folding laundry.
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You know exactly how to do it, right?
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Even though you don't really want to do it, it's straightforward.
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Same thing, like literally.
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It's not a heavy thinking task.
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So I find that when I'm folding laundry, I don't really realize I'm folding laundry because my brain is I have it all to myself.
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Now that was hard when I had the kids at home because you never have your brain to yourself.
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And that's a whole other episode of Yeah, exactly.
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Um, exactly.
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Yeah.
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Everything rattling around and yeah, all of that kind of stuff.
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Which is another reason if you've got small kids at home, this is such a um, it gives you an anchor point.
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So throughout your day, when you're like, I don't even know, you're like, oh, I did this last night.
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This is my gift.
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This is a future gift.
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And when you think about it in that way, it feels like a favor, not a demand.
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And that's a really big, we talked about this in last week's episode as well.
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That's a really big differentiator for us.
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A lot of us struggle even slightly with demand avoidance.
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Most people do, um, which is again, it's just is what it is.
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Um but how can I reframe this of like, oh, I'm gonna feel really good if I do this.
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This is really gonna help me get my morning off to just 1% better.
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And then 1% leads to 2%, 2% leads to 5%, 5%, right?
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Like that's that's kind of how those um how those go.
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This also, we talked about this, it reduces, reduces decision fatigue plus chaos first thing in the morning.
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You don't have to decide what the kid's gonna wear.
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You don't have to decide what you're gonna wear.
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You've already decided, it's already there.
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Right?
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Yeah.
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We only have so much capacity, or if you know, if you're familiar with the spoons theory, we only have so many spoons and everything we do.
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I just read that the other day and I was telling my daughter about it.
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Yes, I was explaining it to her.
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The spoon theory.
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Yeah.
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I can't.
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Yeah, so go ahead and explain that just really quick.
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Well, the spoon theory, I don't really think I the way that I look at it, um, my brain kind of computes it better in money, right?
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So you've got a hundred one dollar bills.
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Everything you do throughout your day costs some money.
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So picking out what you're gonna wear in the morning costs three dollars.
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Picking out what your kids are gonna wear costs$2 each.
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Deciding what you're going to wear or what you're going to eat for breakfast,$5.
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Deciding what you need to get from the grocery,$10.
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Deciding what you're going to cook for dinner, another$7.
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Right?
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Um, so by noon, you're like$50 spent.
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Exactly.
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And some of these things, depending on, I mean, where are you in your cycle?
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Maybe you're starting at only$70 huge.
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Maybe only maybe you've only got$70 today.
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Maybe you've got 30.
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I've got five.
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Waking up with five bucks to see how far we can get this.
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Yeah, exactly.
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We're balling on a budget today, ladies.
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Um, going to Salvation Army with our five bucks.
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Exactly, exactly.
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The the dollar menu.
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Um, but really kind of thinking about all of these little things.
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And I know specifically the mental load of mothers is really high.
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And things that you're not even thinking about, like we talked about where are the coats?
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Oh, it's it's spirit day today, right?
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These are all little things.
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Spirit day drives me nuts.
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As a mom, spirit day is like, I know this is supposed to be fun, but my child wants this specific thing and we can't find it.
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And it was in the toy box, but we don't know where it is now.
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And we looked all last night so we could be prepared, but it's not there.
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And but he has to have it because it's Spirit Day.
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Exactly.
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And this is something to keep in mind as well, and we're kind of rabbit holing here.
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If you know Spirit Week is coming up, your Sunday.
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I have a um, I have a a membership community, and we have a um can I can I say a small cuss word on this show?
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Am I allowed to sure go ahead, go for it.
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We have get your shit together Sundays.
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So um it is, yeah, everybody gets on, everybody we turn off the mics, everybody looks at their calendar, and we get our shit together for the week.
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And that could be a really great thing for you if you know it's spirit week.
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Take a few minutes on Sunday.
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All right, guys, this is what we go and got going on.
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Monday's this, Tuesday's this.
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What do we need?
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Who's gonna, all right, y'all are big enough, go find your stuff.
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If you need my help, let me know.
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But you know, however that works for you.
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But um, be as preemptive with it as you as you can.
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I normally say only do the night before because doing a whole week leaves too much room for something to get thrown off, and then we go into all or nothing black and white.
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Well, now everything's gone to, you know, gone to pot.
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Um, but in that case, it makes sense.
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Look at the whole week.
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What do we need to find?
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What do we need to do?
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And it won't always happen.
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Yeah.
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It's fine.
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Again, that's okay.
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We're gonna roll with it.
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These are just fail-safes to kind of try to to put um put those things in place.
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So um another reason this is really great is it builds self-trust.
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Self-trust is really important for us.
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We struggle with it a lot as ADHDers.
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We do.
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Um, because of a multitude of things.
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We have struggled to trust ourselves or making the right decision.
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Is this should I have said that?
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Should I not have said that?
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Should I have done it this way?
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Should I have done it that way?
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That's not how my mom did it.
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You know, all of those things that are that are super fun.
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The over yes, the overthinking and the I've messed up before a lot.
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And now I realize it's my brain, but also it is my responsibility to follow through.
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But but how do I follow through?
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So like all your past coming together and overthinking.
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Yeah.
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Yeah.
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So setting up these little nightly check-ins, and again, maybe it doesn't happen Sunday to Thursday.
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Maybe it only happens twice a week or twice this week, three times next week.
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That is still showing up.
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That is what we talked about last week.
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That is persistence.
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That's what it looks like.
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Um I think you have visually blocking that time off.
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Like you have Sundays.
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We're gonna get our stuff together on Sundays together, together.
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I like the community part of that too.
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It's great.
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Um, because you take time to do that.
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Because I for I forget, honestly, I forget to carve out time.
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Yep.
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Yeah, this is on the calendar.
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You get a reminder, it's all the things, and it doesn't take a lot of time.
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Pop on, take a quick look at the calendar.
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Yeah, it's it's really helpful.
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Um that made me think of, and this is a whole other episode that we could do of like honoring your capacity.
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So we were talking about like t today I woke up and I got five bucks.
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So if you've got five bucks and you give five bucks, then you've given a hundred percent.
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Yeah.
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And to what?
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To what did you give that hundred percent to?
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Right.
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You know what I mean?
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Like, does it connect with what you value?
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Like, do you sometimes sometimes it sometimes you don't have the bandwidth to to connect the dots, like right?
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You've got to like, well, this is I don't want to go to this parent teacher conference, but I have to do that.
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Or I told this friend that I would meet her and I really don't want to, but she's going through a really bad divorce.
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So I'm going to have a a you know, a flexible boundary here, and I'm gonna go ahead and meet her, even though I'm I'm running on zero.
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Yeah.
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Right.
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So just reminding yourself of giving a hundred percent when you've only got 50% to give will leave you at a deficit of 50%.
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And if you keep putting yourself in a deficit, you will burn out and you will be exhausted and it will be a whole thing.
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So we've got to, and that's again, that's easier said than done.
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This is very um, I'm kind of presenting it in a black and white manner, and it's definitely not, but just trying to be right, it's very nuanced, but it's helpful to see it that way.
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Yeah.
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Yeah, as well.
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Definitely.
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Um, yeah.
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So so like I said, building that self-trust every time you do one of these nightly brain dumps, this kind of nightly prep, um, your brain learns like, oh my gosh, I can rely on myself.
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This is great.
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I love this.
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Yeah, it feels really good.
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And it works.
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It works.
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It's got the hit of dopamine.
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I will do it again.
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Yeah.
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Yeah.
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Another, and this is kind of same, same, but different.
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So again, I live here, and whenever I fly out, I have to take really early um trains and flights and blah, blah, blah, blah.
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And I cannot tell you how many times I have pushed that to like, well, I could take the 5 a.m.
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train, but I could get away with taking the 7 a.m.
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train.
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So I'm just gonna take the 7 a.m.
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train.
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And I've almost missed my flight so many times.
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And I have decided my new rule is you take the first train out of town and it's at 4 45 in the morning.
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And I, I mean, unless my flight's at like 3 p.m., which it never is, it's always an early, it's always an early morning flight.
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It does not matter you take the first train out because German trains are historically unreliable.
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You will get, you will miss a train.
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Something will get delayed, and you will be in a full-blown panic that you're gonna miss that flight.
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And it's just not worth it.
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It is not worth the cortisol.
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So now I plan.
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I'm taking that first 445 train.
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And I now I'm like, easy breezy.
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I don't care.
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Miss a train, grab a coffee.
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I don't care because now I've about four hours to get to the airport.
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Right.
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And you've replaced it with now you have this time.
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It's like this gift of time that you gave yourself.
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It's the gift of time.
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It's the gift when we were talking, we were talking about the beginning, that gift of calm.
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Um, I mean, it's travel day, so I'm only as calm as that will allow.
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But um, there is a, oh my gosh, I gave myself this gift.
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Yes, it sucked.
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I do not like getting up at four in the morning so that I could be ready and at the train station at 4 45.
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I don't like that.
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And that's okay.
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Because I can do things I don't like in order to get to where I want to be.
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Like, literally.
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I like I can do things I don't like in order to get to where I really want to be.
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Um, Glenn and Doyle, we can do hard things.
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Who's the other one?
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We can do hard things.
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So um, we tell our kids that all the time.
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Mm-hmm.
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Yeah, we can do hard things.
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We can too.
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Um, and they don't have to be perfect, they don't have to be precious, they don't have to be every single day.
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They just have to, and these are just things to add to your toolbox, right?
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You don't have to do this all the time.
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You're on vacation, throw it out the window.
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You're on vacation and it still feels good, do it.
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You can you can decide to do all that.
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You have you have the choice.
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Yeah, I love that.
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That pause, that reflection, taking a beat.
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Okay, wait, what's gonna what's gonna help me feel?
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How do I want to feel?
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What actions align with that feeling?
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Yeah.
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And that, I mean, just right there, if that's all you do today is figure that out, think about think about the next year, how that could totally change your year or how it could totally change your next month.
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Just taking that time to think ahead and prepare yourself for that next morning.
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Um, and tying it back to last episode, too, those micro things that you can do to habit stack.
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So I love how all of that really comes together the evening before and the morning, the micro habit stacking.
00:13:13.840 --> 00:13:14.480
Yeah.
00:13:14.799 --> 00:13:39.519
So um, you know, maybe this is like a a small plug for the for the podcast, but maybe you put the kids in bed and you listen to an episode of this podcast as you're laying out your clothes and filling up your water bottle and you know, throwing something together that you could take to the office for lunch tomorrow, or you know, whatever it is, because most of your episodes are 20 minutes, something like that.
00:13:39.679 --> 00:13:41.279
So on purpose, yeah.
00:13:41.759 --> 00:13:42.240
Exactly.
00:13:42.399 --> 00:13:42.879
Exactly.
00:13:43.039 --> 00:13:48.960
So use that as the dopamine hit of like, ooh, I'm gonna listen to the podcast because that's exciting and I like it.
00:13:49.120 --> 00:13:50.320
Because I get ideas.
00:13:51.200 --> 00:13:52.960
This is this is a whole different thing.
00:13:53.200 --> 00:13:54.879
Dopamine stacking.
00:13:55.120 --> 00:13:59.120
So the pod gives you dopamine, the other things not so much.
00:13:59.519 --> 00:14:05.039
So we stack them so that we can do the thing that gives us dopamine with the thing that doesn't really give us so much.
00:14:05.120 --> 00:14:14.559
But then that way in the morning, you've woken up, you've got your water bottle, you've got your work bag packed, you've got, you know, something to take for a snack, whatever it is.
00:14:14.879 --> 00:14:16.320
So so yeah.
00:14:16.960 --> 00:14:17.679
All kinds of things.
00:14:17.919 --> 00:14:18.320
I love it.
00:14:18.480 --> 00:14:19.120
And start small.
00:14:19.519 --> 00:14:20.240
All kinds of things.
00:14:20.480 --> 00:14:22.480
You don't have to, you know, revamp your whole night.
00:14:22.559 --> 00:14:24.080
Start with one small thing that would help.
00:14:24.159 --> 00:14:27.279
Would it be good to just, I'm just gonna go ahead and fill up the kids' water bottles?
00:14:27.440 --> 00:14:28.320
We'll start there.
00:14:28.559 --> 00:14:29.279
See how that goes.
00:14:29.440 --> 00:14:31.440
Just take one thing off my plate in the morning.
00:14:31.600 --> 00:14:32.480
That's it.
00:14:33.200 --> 00:14:34.399
Yeah, that's all.
00:14:34.559 --> 00:14:39.360
Now, Leah, you work with a lot of ADHD women, a lot of moms.
00:14:39.519 --> 00:14:42.240
Um, and I know everybody is so different.
00:14:42.480 --> 00:14:48.720
And so can you really quickly just say, what are what is one of the advantages of working with an ADHD coach?
00:14:49.039 --> 00:14:49.919
Yeah, definitely.
00:14:50.159 --> 00:14:51.919
Kind of goes back to what you were saying.
00:14:52.080 --> 00:14:56.399
It really allows you to carve out that time for yourself.
00:14:56.960 --> 00:15:07.919
And it allows a third party or a second party, the coach, to ask you those questions that you don't really take the time, you know, like you were saying, what how do I want to feel in the morning?
00:15:08.080 --> 00:15:08.399
I don't know.
00:15:08.480 --> 00:15:11.039
I just want to feel like not so crazy.
00:15:11.360 --> 00:15:13.039
Okay, yeah, let's take a minute.
00:15:13.200 --> 00:15:14.000
What does that mean?
00:15:14.159 --> 00:15:15.279
Where is the craziness?
00:15:15.360 --> 00:15:16.960
Well, we can never find shoes.
00:15:17.360 --> 00:15:17.679
Okay.
00:15:18.240 --> 00:15:18.559
Okay.
00:15:18.799 --> 00:15:19.120
How?
00:15:19.200 --> 00:15:21.279
What's something that we can can we do about that?
00:15:21.440 --> 00:15:34.240
Is there, you know, a way that um when you get home, like I said, there is you've you've put something on your Google Maps that it knows when you pull in the driveway to send you a thing that says put shoes, you know, in the mud room, whatever it is.
00:15:34.480 --> 00:15:35.519
Ask the kids to help.
00:15:35.679 --> 00:15:38.159
Hey guys, mom's having a moment.
00:15:38.399 --> 00:15:43.039
Can you guys remind me to take my shoes off when we get in the house and put them in the mud room?
00:15:43.279 --> 00:15:44.320
That would be so helpful.
00:15:44.480 --> 00:15:46.000
Do you think you all could do that?
00:15:46.320 --> 00:15:47.440
They might not.
00:15:47.759 --> 00:15:54.720
But having that conversation, saying it out loud, bringing them into the fold, especially depending on how old they are, they might.
00:15:54.879 --> 00:15:55.200
Right.
00:15:55.679 --> 00:15:56.240
Right.
00:15:56.559 --> 00:16:07.039
So it allows you to come up with things that you haven't really thought of yourself because questions have been asked in a different way, and then solutions are presented in a lighter way.
00:16:07.200 --> 00:16:11.120
Again, these are at least the way my coaching works, these are options.
00:16:11.679 --> 00:16:15.360
You don't have to do a single thing that I have said, but you could try it.
00:16:16.399 --> 00:16:19.039
We can experiment with some things and see how it feels.
00:16:19.440 --> 00:16:21.519
Try it on, keep it if it fits.
00:16:22.159 --> 00:16:22.559
Right.
00:16:22.960 --> 00:16:36.480
So I think the the the biggest benefit is it allows for that pause that we struggle to take for various reasons because we're too busy, we've got kids, we've got jobs, we've got friends, we've got all the things.
00:16:36.639 --> 00:16:39.440
But then also sometimes we just don't know the questions to ask.
00:16:39.840 --> 00:16:41.360
And that's not a that's not a bad thing.
00:16:41.600 --> 00:16:44.320
It just, you know, we're too, we're too close to the, what is it?
00:16:44.399 --> 00:16:48.399
You're um too close to the trees to see the forest, something like that.
00:16:50.159 --> 00:16:50.799
That makes sense.
00:16:51.039 --> 00:16:51.519
Too close.
00:16:51.759 --> 00:16:51.919
Yeah.
00:16:52.080 --> 00:16:52.399
Yeah.
00:16:52.639 --> 00:16:52.960
Yeah.
00:16:53.120 --> 00:16:54.559
So you're you're too close to it.
00:16:54.639 --> 00:16:56.240
It's it's it's you, right?
00:16:56.320 --> 00:16:58.000
And so you can't see the whole thing.
00:16:58.240 --> 00:17:01.360
You can't see the whole picture because it's hard to zoom out and see it.
00:17:01.600 --> 00:17:01.919
Yeah.
00:17:02.159 --> 00:17:02.559
Mm-hmm.
00:17:02.799 --> 00:17:03.039
Yeah.
00:17:03.200 --> 00:17:05.839
When you are overwhelmed, you just you're just you're done.
00:17:05.920 --> 00:17:06.640
You can't think.
00:17:06.799 --> 00:17:08.559
So awesome.
00:17:08.720 --> 00:17:16.000
Well, if somebody wanted to work with you, wanted to know more about you, interested in these Sundays, um, what where can they find you?
00:17:16.480 --> 00:17:18.319
So you can pop over to Instagram.
00:17:18.400 --> 00:17:24.480
That is definitely the most um social media that that's the most um active platform that I participate in.
00:17:24.559 --> 00:17:28.640
I am not a huge social media girly, so you want to see a ton there.
00:17:29.039 --> 00:17:32.240
But um it is still the the place that um I show up the most.
00:17:32.400 --> 00:17:36.000
So that's gonna be at adhd.coach.lea.
00:17:36.160 --> 00:17:37.200
There's all kinds of links there.
00:17:37.279 --> 00:17:42.720
You can get to my website, you can book a free 45-minute coaching call, no strings attached.
00:17:42.960 --> 00:17:43.519
Pop in.
00:17:43.599 --> 00:17:45.519
Let's see if we can get you some support.
00:17:45.680 --> 00:17:50.880
If you feel like it's a good fit and you want to keep moving forward, then I will tell you your options.
00:17:51.119 --> 00:17:53.440
Otherwise, lovely to meet you.
00:17:53.599 --> 00:17:54.400
Good luck.
00:17:54.559 --> 00:17:58.160
Um, you can also just pop right over to my website if that's easier for you.
00:17:58.319 --> 00:18:01.440
It is LeaCcoaching.com.
00:18:01.920 --> 00:18:02.720
That's that.
00:18:02.960 --> 00:18:03.680
Awesome.
00:18:03.920 --> 00:18:04.720
Wonderful.
00:18:04.880 --> 00:18:15.200
I just, you know, everybody is in such a different season of life, and it's nice just to make all of these connections to let us know like we're not the only ones who've who are going through this and who are dealing with it.
00:18:15.359 --> 00:18:19.519
And and you just seem so put together and you know what you're doing.
00:18:19.680 --> 00:18:23.920
And I know I'm sure that's not always been the story if you've had ADHD.
00:18:24.160 --> 00:18:29.119
But but what I see is someone who like I see like a bodybuilder, you know?
00:18:29.359 --> 00:18:30.880
Like, yeah.
00:18:31.200 --> 00:18:39.920
You're you've you've you've habit stacked and you've put all these things together, and you took all of these micro steps, and you're you've built this thing that's working for you.
00:18:40.079 --> 00:18:42.880
And I think a lot of us want that.
00:18:43.039 --> 00:18:48.160
And so it's nice to be able to look and see, okay, here are the small little micro steps so I can get there.
00:18:48.720 --> 00:18:49.039
Yeah.
00:18:49.279 --> 00:18:52.880
I think I really want people to know it's possible.
00:18:53.279 --> 00:18:58.720
It's just because, yeah, just because it's always been a way doesn't mean it has to stay that way.
00:18:58.960 --> 00:19:02.480
It is possible to make these small changes and to make things stick.
00:19:02.559 --> 00:19:05.119
And like you were saying, you are not alone at all.
00:19:05.200 --> 00:19:07.599
And you don't have to go at it alone anymore.
00:19:07.839 --> 00:19:11.039
Um, I think a lot of us try that and it's hard.
00:19:11.279 --> 00:19:12.880
So it is.
00:19:13.279 --> 00:19:14.160
So all right.
00:19:14.400 --> 00:19:15.920
Thank you again, Leah, for being on the show.
00:19:16.640 --> 00:19:18.160
We wish you all the time that's amazing.
00:19:18.400 --> 00:19:18.720
Yeah.
00:19:18.880 --> 00:19:19.279
Yeah.
00:19:19.599 --> 00:19:23.680
Well, thanks again for listening to Quick Wins for ADHD moms.
00:19:24.000 --> 00:19:29.839
I hope you walk away, we're just learning so much about how you can apply these little tips to your life.
00:19:30.000 --> 00:19:32.319
And again, you don't have to apply all of them.
00:19:32.480 --> 00:19:39.680
Just listening and finding something that might work and you implement it into your day might be life-changing.
00:19:39.920 --> 00:19:41.519
And so that's why we're here.
00:19:41.759 --> 00:19:45.759
You can find us online at theadhdmom.com.
00:19:45.920 --> 00:19:48.960
We also have a dopamine hit list if you'd like to check that out.
00:19:49.119 --> 00:19:52.960
It's theadhdmom.com slash dopamine.
00:19:53.440 --> 00:19:56.480
Well, until next time, I hope you have a wonderful week.
00:19:56.640 --> 00:20:00.480
Take the time to enjoy every moment with your kids this week.
00:00:00.640 --> 00:00:03.600
You're listening to Quick Wins for ADHD moms.
00:00:03.680 --> 00:00:05.200
Hey, I'm Jessica Lynn Lewis.
00:00:05.440 --> 00:00:09.599
The last two episodes, we have had the wonderful Leah Carroll join us.
00:00:09.759 --> 00:00:12.080
I hope you've been learning so much from her.
00:00:12.240 --> 00:00:13.119
I know I have.
00:00:13.359 --> 00:00:20.960
And because the last episode was so long, we decided to split that up so that we keep it at 20-minute episodes.
00:00:21.120 --> 00:00:27.760
So this actually is the second part of the last episode, and we're just going to jump right in.
00:00:28.160 --> 00:00:29.039
Yeah, exactly.
00:00:29.199 --> 00:00:36.960
And like I said, when you kind of wake up and you can do any of them, and maybe they all are genuinely the same priority.
00:00:37.200 --> 00:00:39.280
None of them have a real deadline.
00:00:39.520 --> 00:00:46.320
Um, nobody's really waiting on it, then you can go into this spiral of decision paralysis.
00:00:46.399 --> 00:00:48.000
I just don't know which one to choose.
00:00:48.240 --> 00:00:50.079
They've all got about 10 steps.
00:00:50.320 --> 00:00:52.479
They're all overwhelming me.
00:00:52.719 --> 00:00:55.679
I'm just gonna kind of uh do something else that's easy.
00:00:55.759 --> 00:00:58.799
That could be cleaning your house, which is great because that needs to be done.
00:00:59.119 --> 00:01:04.719
But I find too that I process things like, okay, I'm just gonna go put the laundry in or fold laundry.
00:01:04.799 --> 00:01:09.120
And as I'm folding laundry, I'm able to process, like slow down and process.
00:01:09.359 --> 00:01:11.519
Oh, okay, I know what I need to do now.
00:01:11.760 --> 00:01:13.280
I need to do, I need to work on this.
00:01:13.439 --> 00:01:14.480
This can wait.
00:01:14.719 --> 00:01:15.280
Yeah.
00:01:15.519 --> 00:01:15.920
Yeah.
00:01:16.159 --> 00:01:18.719
And a lot of times we will go to things like that.
00:01:18.879 --> 00:01:23.200
Like I find myself, and I'm not like, I don't like, I'm not one of those people that I'm like, I love cleaning.
00:01:23.280 --> 00:01:24.079
It brings me calm.
00:01:24.239 --> 00:01:30.159
I'm not one of those people, but I find myself going towards those tasks because I know exactly how to do them.
00:01:30.400 --> 00:01:32.879
There's no that's why.
00:01:33.120 --> 00:01:36.239
Yeah, there's no, um, what's the word?
00:01:37.760 --> 00:01:38.480
Ambiguity?
00:01:39.280 --> 00:01:39.920
I can never say it.
00:01:40.079 --> 00:01:40.799
Ambiguity.
00:01:41.200 --> 00:01:41.760
Thank you.
00:01:42.000 --> 00:01:45.200
Um, there is none of that in folding laundry.
00:01:45.359 --> 00:01:48.159
You know exactly how to do it, right?
00:01:48.400 --> 00:01:51.200
Even though you don't really want to do it, it's straightforward.
00:01:51.439 --> 00:01:52.239
Same thing, like literally.
00:01:53.920 --> 00:01:55.920
It's not a heavy thinking task.
00:01:56.000 --> 00:02:02.879
So I find that when I'm folding laundry, I don't really realize I'm folding laundry because my brain is I have it all to myself.
00:02:03.040 --> 00:02:07.760
Now that was hard when I had the kids at home because you never have your brain to yourself.
00:02:07.920 --> 00:02:12.159
And that's a whole other episode of Yeah, exactly.
00:02:12.319 --> 00:02:13.120
Um, exactly.
00:02:16.159 --> 00:02:16.479
Yeah.
00:02:16.960 --> 00:02:19.439
Everything rattling around and yeah, all of that kind of stuff.
00:02:19.680 --> 00:02:25.039
Which is another reason if you've got small kids at home, this is such a um, it gives you an anchor point.
00:02:25.199 --> 00:02:29.599
So throughout your day, when you're like, I don't even know, you're like, oh, I did this last night.
00:02:29.840 --> 00:02:30.639
This is my gift.
00:02:30.800 --> 00:02:31.919
This is a future gift.
00:02:32.080 --> 00:02:37.360
And when you think about it in that way, it feels like a favor, not a demand.
00:02:37.599 --> 00:02:40.560
And that's a really big, we talked about this in last week's episode as well.
00:02:40.719 --> 00:02:43.280
That's a really big differentiator for us.
00:02:43.439 --> 00:02:46.400
A lot of us struggle even slightly with demand avoidance.
00:02:46.479 --> 00:02:49.680
Most people do, um, which is again, it's just is what it is.
00:02:49.919 --> 00:02:53.759
Um but how can I reframe this of like, oh, I'm gonna feel really good if I do this.
00:02:53.919 --> 00:02:58.159
This is really gonna help me get my morning off to just 1% better.
00:02:58.400 --> 00:03:02.159
And then 1% leads to 2%, 2% leads to 5%, 5%, right?
00:03:02.240 --> 00:03:06.319
Like that's that's kind of how those um how those go.
00:03:06.560 --> 00:03:15.280
This also, we talked about this, it reduces, reduces decision fatigue plus chaos first thing in the morning.
00:03:15.520 --> 00:03:18.479
You don't have to decide what the kid's gonna wear.
00:03:18.560 --> 00:03:20.479
You don't have to decide what you're gonna wear.
00:03:20.639 --> 00:03:22.800
You've already decided, it's already there.
00:03:23.360 --> 00:03:23.680
Right?
00:03:23.759 --> 00:03:24.080
Yeah.
00:03:24.319 --> 00:03:32.479
We only have so much capacity, or if you know, if you're familiar with the spoons theory, we only have so many spoons and everything we do.
00:03:32.879 --> 00:03:35.520
I just read that the other day and I was telling my daughter about it.
00:03:35.680 --> 00:03:37.120
Yes, I was explaining it to her.
00:03:37.199 --> 00:03:38.080
The spoon theory.
00:03:38.319 --> 00:03:38.479
Yeah.
00:03:38.560 --> 00:03:38.960
I can't.
00:03:39.120 --> 00:03:40.879
Yeah, so go ahead and explain that just really quick.
00:03:41.199 --> 00:03:49.280
Well, the spoon theory, I don't really think I the way that I look at it, um, my brain kind of computes it better in money, right?
00:03:49.439 --> 00:03:52.080
So you've got a hundred one dollar bills.
00:03:52.719 --> 00:03:57.280
Everything you do throughout your day costs some money.
00:03:57.599 --> 00:04:01.360
So picking out what you're gonna wear in the morning costs three dollars.
00:04:01.599 --> 00:04:04.800
Picking out what your kids are gonna wear costs$2 each.
00:04:05.039 --> 00:04:09.039
Deciding what you're going to wear or what you're going to eat for breakfast,$5.
00:04:09.680 --> 00:04:12.240
Deciding what you need to get from the grocery,$10.
00:04:12.800 --> 00:04:15.759
Deciding what you're going to cook for dinner, another$7.
00:04:16.800 --> 00:04:17.199
Right?
00:04:17.439 --> 00:04:21.439
Um, so by noon, you're like$50 spent.
00:04:22.160 --> 00:04:22.800
Exactly.
00:04:23.040 --> 00:04:27.839
And some of these things, depending on, I mean, where are you in your cycle?
00:04:28.079 --> 00:04:30.399
Maybe you're starting at only$70 huge.
00:04:30.639 --> 00:04:33.360
Maybe only maybe you've only got$70 today.
00:04:34.000 --> 00:04:34.879
Maybe you've got 30.
00:04:35.920 --> 00:04:36.879
I've got five.
00:04:37.759 --> 00:04:40.480
Waking up with five bucks to see how far we can get this.
00:04:40.639 --> 00:04:41.439
Yeah, exactly.
00:04:41.519 --> 00:04:43.439
We're balling on a budget today, ladies.
00:04:43.519 --> 00:04:46.240
Um, going to Salvation Army with our five bucks.
00:04:46.800 --> 00:04:47.680
Exactly, exactly.
00:04:47.839 --> 00:04:49.199
The the dollar menu.
00:04:49.360 --> 00:04:53.199
Um, but really kind of thinking about all of these little things.
00:04:53.360 --> 00:05:01.360
And I know specifically the mental load of mothers is really high.
00:05:01.600 --> 00:05:05.360
And things that you're not even thinking about, like we talked about where are the coats?
00:05:05.439 --> 00:05:08.160
Oh, it's it's spirit day today, right?
00:05:08.319 --> 00:05:09.600
These are all little things.
00:05:10.000 --> 00:05:11.759
Spirit day drives me nuts.
00:05:12.720 --> 00:05:22.160
As a mom, spirit day is like, I know this is supposed to be fun, but my child wants this specific thing and we can't find it.
00:05:22.240 --> 00:05:24.800
And it was in the toy box, but we don't know where it is now.
00:05:24.879 --> 00:05:28.000
And we looked all last night so we could be prepared, but it's not there.
00:05:28.160 --> 00:05:30.959
And but he has to have it because it's Spirit Day.
00:05:31.920 --> 00:05:32.560
Exactly.
00:05:32.800 --> 00:05:36.399
And this is something to keep in mind as well, and we're kind of rabbit holing here.
00:05:36.560 --> 00:05:40.959
If you know Spirit Week is coming up, your Sunday.
00:05:41.040 --> 00:05:48.160
I have a um, I have a a membership community, and we have a um can I can I say a small cuss word on this show?
00:05:48.319 --> 00:05:51.120
Am I allowed to sure go ahead, go for it.
00:05:51.279 --> 00:05:53.759
We have get your shit together Sundays.
00:05:54.319 --> 00:06:02.480
So um it is, yeah, everybody gets on, everybody we turn off the mics, everybody looks at their calendar, and we get our shit together for the week.
00:06:02.800 --> 00:06:06.079
And that could be a really great thing for you if you know it's spirit week.
00:06:06.240 --> 00:06:07.680
Take a few minutes on Sunday.
00:06:07.839 --> 00:06:09.759
All right, guys, this is what we go and got going on.
00:06:09.839 --> 00:06:10.879
Monday's this, Tuesday's this.
00:06:11.439 --> 00:06:12.399
What do we need?
00:06:12.879 --> 00:06:16.480
Who's gonna, all right, y'all are big enough, go find your stuff.
00:06:16.639 --> 00:06:17.839
If you need my help, let me know.
00:06:18.000 --> 00:06:20.240
But you know, however that works for you.
00:06:20.480 --> 00:06:23.920
But um, be as preemptive with it as you as you can.
00:06:24.079 --> 00:06:31.439
I normally say only do the night before because doing a whole week leaves too much room for something to get thrown off, and then we go into all or nothing black and white.
00:06:31.519 --> 00:06:33.839
Well, now everything's gone to, you know, gone to pot.
00:06:34.319 --> 00:06:37.519
Um, but in that case, it makes sense.
00:06:37.680 --> 00:06:38.800
Look at the whole week.
00:06:39.040 --> 00:06:40.240
What do we need to find?
00:06:40.319 --> 00:06:41.199
What do we need to do?
00:06:41.360 --> 00:06:42.480
And it won't always happen.
00:06:42.560 --> 00:06:42.879
Yeah.
00:06:43.680 --> 00:06:44.240
It's fine.
00:06:44.319 --> 00:06:45.680
Again, that's okay.
00:06:45.759 --> 00:06:47.040
We're gonna roll with it.
00:06:47.360 --> 00:06:54.079
These are just fail-safes to kind of try to to put um put those things in place.
00:06:54.639 --> 00:06:58.959
So um another reason this is really great is it builds self-trust.
00:06:59.360 --> 00:07:01.279
Self-trust is really important for us.
00:07:01.439 --> 00:07:04.079
We struggle with it a lot as ADHDers.
00:07:04.399 --> 00:07:04.879
We do.
00:07:05.040 --> 00:07:08.160
Um, because of a multitude of things.
00:07:08.319 --> 00:07:10.800
We have struggled to trust ourselves or making the right decision.
00:07:10.879 --> 00:07:12.000
Is this should I have said that?
00:07:12.160 --> 00:07:12.879
Should I not have said that?
00:07:12.959 --> 00:07:13.839
Should I have done it this way?
00:07:14.000 --> 00:07:15.199
Should I have done it that way?
00:07:15.439 --> 00:07:16.959
That's not how my mom did it.
00:07:17.199 --> 00:07:20.000
You know, all of those things that are that are super fun.
00:07:20.319 --> 00:07:24.959
The over yes, the overthinking and the I've messed up before a lot.
00:07:25.199 --> 00:07:30.160
And now I realize it's my brain, but also it is my responsibility to follow through.
00:07:30.240 --> 00:07:31.759
But but how do I follow through?
00:07:31.920 --> 00:07:35.519
So like all your past coming together and overthinking.
00:07:36.079 --> 00:07:36.399
Yeah.
00:07:36.560 --> 00:07:36.720
Yeah.
00:07:36.959 --> 00:07:42.720
So setting up these little nightly check-ins, and again, maybe it doesn't happen Sunday to Thursday.
00:07:42.879 --> 00:07:47.680
Maybe it only happens twice a week or twice this week, three times next week.
00:07:48.000 --> 00:07:49.519
That is still showing up.
00:07:49.680 --> 00:07:51.279
That is what we talked about last week.
00:07:51.439 --> 00:07:52.720
That is persistence.
00:07:52.959 --> 00:07:54.160
That's what it looks like.
00:07:54.959 --> 00:07:59.519
Um I think you have visually blocking that time off.
00:07:59.680 --> 00:08:01.360
Like you have Sundays.
00:08:01.519 --> 00:08:06.480
We're gonna get our stuff together on Sundays together, together.
00:08:06.639 --> 00:08:08.480
I like the community part of that too.
00:08:08.800 --> 00:08:09.199
It's great.
00:08:09.360 --> 00:08:10.959
Um, because you take time to do that.
00:08:11.199 --> 00:08:15.120
Because I for I forget, honestly, I forget to carve out time.
00:08:16.000 --> 00:08:16.319
Yep.
00:08:16.480 --> 00:08:18.000
Yeah, this is on the calendar.
00:08:18.160 --> 00:08:21.519
You get a reminder, it's all the things, and it doesn't take a lot of time.
00:08:21.839 --> 00:08:24.240
Pop on, take a quick look at the calendar.
00:08:24.560 --> 00:08:26.480
Yeah, it's it's really helpful.
00:08:26.720 --> 00:08:32.559
Um that made me think of, and this is a whole other episode that we could do of like honoring your capacity.
00:08:32.720 --> 00:08:36.080
So we were talking about like t today I woke up and I got five bucks.
00:08:36.240 --> 00:08:40.559
So if you've got five bucks and you give five bucks, then you've given a hundred percent.
00:08:41.279 --> 00:08:41.440
Yeah.
00:08:41.759 --> 00:08:42.480
And to what?
00:08:42.720 --> 00:08:44.960
To what did you give that hundred percent to?
00:08:45.360 --> 00:08:45.600
Right.
00:08:46.080 --> 00:08:46.639
You know what I mean?
00:08:46.720 --> 00:08:50.000
Like, does it connect with what you value?
00:08:50.240 --> 00:08:56.320
Like, do you sometimes sometimes it sometimes you don't have the bandwidth to to connect the dots, like right?
00:08:56.399 --> 00:09:02.639
You've got to like, well, this is I don't want to go to this parent teacher conference, but I have to do that.
00:09:02.960 --> 00:09:08.000
Or I told this friend that I would meet her and I really don't want to, but she's going through a really bad divorce.
00:09:08.320 --> 00:09:15.200
So I'm going to have a a you know, a flexible boundary here, and I'm gonna go ahead and meet her, even though I'm I'm running on zero.
00:09:15.519 --> 00:09:15.919
Yeah.
00:09:16.240 --> 00:09:16.559
Right.
00:09:16.960 --> 00:09:26.000
So just reminding yourself of giving a hundred percent when you've only got 50% to give will leave you at a deficit of 50%.
00:09:26.559 --> 00:09:33.440
And if you keep putting yourself in a deficit, you will burn out and you will be exhausted and it will be a whole thing.
00:09:33.600 --> 00:09:36.320
So we've got to, and that's again, that's easier said than done.
00:09:36.399 --> 00:09:45.279
This is very um, I'm kind of presenting it in a black and white manner, and it's definitely not, but just trying to be right, it's very nuanced, but it's helpful to see it that way.
00:09:45.600 --> 00:09:45.919
Yeah.
00:09:46.080 --> 00:09:46.879
Yeah, as well.
00:09:47.039 --> 00:09:47.519
Definitely.
00:09:47.759 --> 00:09:48.720
Um, yeah.
00:09:48.960 --> 00:10:00.480
So so like I said, building that self-trust every time you do one of these nightly brain dumps, this kind of nightly prep, um, your brain learns like, oh my gosh, I can rely on myself.
00:10:00.720 --> 00:10:01.440
This is great.
00:10:01.600 --> 00:10:02.159
I love this.
00:10:02.240 --> 00:10:03.279
Yeah, it feels really good.
00:10:03.519 --> 00:10:04.320
And it works.
00:10:04.559 --> 00:10:05.039
It works.
00:10:05.120 --> 00:10:06.720
It's got the hit of dopamine.
00:10:07.039 --> 00:10:08.480
I will do it again.
00:10:08.720 --> 00:10:09.200
Yeah.
00:10:09.440 --> 00:10:09.679
Yeah.
00:10:09.840 --> 00:10:14.000
Another, and this is kind of same, same, but different.
00:10:14.240 --> 00:10:20.559
So again, I live here, and whenever I fly out, I have to take really early um trains and flights and blah, blah, blah, blah.
00:10:20.799 --> 00:10:26.480
And I cannot tell you how many times I have pushed that to like, well, I could take the 5 a.m.
00:10:26.639 --> 00:10:28.720
train, but I could get away with taking the 7 a.m.
00:10:28.879 --> 00:10:29.120
train.
00:10:29.200 --> 00:10:30.559
So I'm just gonna take the 7 a.m.
00:10:30.720 --> 00:10:30.960
train.
00:10:31.120 --> 00:10:33.919
And I've almost missed my flight so many times.
00:10:34.240 --> 00:10:40.480
And I have decided my new rule is you take the first train out of town and it's at 4 45 in the morning.
00:10:40.639 --> 00:10:45.759
And I, I mean, unless my flight's at like 3 p.m., which it never is, it's always an early, it's always an early morning flight.
00:10:45.919 --> 00:10:52.000
It does not matter you take the first train out because German trains are historically unreliable.
00:10:52.240 --> 00:10:54.639
You will get, you will miss a train.
00:10:54.799 --> 00:11:00.480
Something will get delayed, and you will be in a full-blown panic that you're gonna miss that flight.
00:11:00.559 --> 00:11:01.600
And it's just not worth it.
00:11:01.679 --> 00:11:03.679
It is not worth the cortisol.
00:11:03.840 --> 00:11:05.840
So now I plan.
00:11:06.320 --> 00:11:08.240
I'm taking that first 445 train.
00:11:08.320 --> 00:11:11.279
And I now I'm like, easy breezy.
00:11:11.519 --> 00:11:12.000
I don't care.
00:11:12.240 --> 00:11:13.840
Miss a train, grab a coffee.
00:11:13.919 --> 00:11:16.159
I don't care because now I've about four hours to get to the airport.
00:11:16.879 --> 00:11:17.120
Right.
00:11:17.279 --> 00:11:20.639
And you've replaced it with now you have this time.
00:11:20.799 --> 00:11:23.039
It's like this gift of time that you gave yourself.
00:11:23.360 --> 00:11:24.320
It's the gift of time.
00:11:24.399 --> 00:11:27.679
It's the gift when we were talking, we were talking about the beginning, that gift of calm.
00:11:27.840 --> 00:11:32.000
Um, I mean, it's travel day, so I'm only as calm as that will allow.
00:11:32.320 --> 00:11:36.399
But um, there is a, oh my gosh, I gave myself this gift.
00:11:36.480 --> 00:11:37.519
Yes, it sucked.
00:11:37.759 --> 00:11:42.399
I do not like getting up at four in the morning so that I could be ready and at the train station at 4 45.
00:11:42.480 --> 00:11:43.279
I don't like that.
00:11:43.440 --> 00:11:44.320
And that's okay.
00:11:44.399 --> 00:11:47.519
Because I can do things I don't like in order to get to where I want to be.
00:11:47.679 --> 00:11:48.960
Like, literally.
00:11:50.080 --> 00:11:55.039
I like I can do things I don't like in order to get to where I really want to be.
00:11:55.360 --> 00:11:58.320
Um, Glenn and Doyle, we can do hard things.
00:11:58.720 --> 00:11:59.679
Who's the other one?
00:12:00.080 --> 00:12:01.279
We can do hard things.
00:12:01.600 --> 00:12:04.240
So um, we tell our kids that all the time.
00:12:04.960 --> 00:12:05.440
Mm-hmm.
00:12:05.600 --> 00:12:06.879
Yeah, we can do hard things.
00:12:06.960 --> 00:12:07.919
We can too.
00:12:08.159 --> 00:12:14.879
Um, and they don't have to be perfect, they don't have to be precious, they don't have to be every single day.
00:12:15.200 --> 00:12:19.200
They just have to, and these are just things to add to your toolbox, right?
00:12:19.279 --> 00:12:20.320
You don't have to do this all the time.
00:12:20.399 --> 00:12:21.919
You're on vacation, throw it out the window.
00:12:22.080 --> 00:12:24.480
You're on vacation and it still feels good, do it.
00:12:25.519 --> 00:12:27.519
You can you can decide to do all that.
00:12:27.600 --> 00:12:29.279
You have you have the choice.
00:12:30.320 --> 00:12:31.840
Yeah, I love that.
00:12:32.240 --> 00:12:35.519
That pause, that reflection, taking a beat.
00:12:35.679 --> 00:12:37.759
Okay, wait, what's gonna what's gonna help me feel?
00:12:38.000 --> 00:12:39.039
How do I want to feel?
00:12:39.360 --> 00:12:41.759
What actions align with that feeling?
00:12:43.039 --> 00:12:43.360
Yeah.
00:12:43.519 --> 00:12:55.840
And that, I mean, just right there, if that's all you do today is figure that out, think about think about the next year, how that could totally change your year or how it could totally change your next month.
00:12:56.240 --> 00:13:00.159
Just taking that time to think ahead and prepare yourself for that next morning.
00:13:00.320 --> 00:13:06.480
Um, and tying it back to last episode, too, those micro things that you can do to habit stack.
00:13:06.720 --> 00:13:13.519
So I love how all of that really comes together the evening before and the morning, the micro habit stacking.
00:13:13.840 --> 00:13:14.480
Yeah.
00:13:14.799 --> 00:13:39.519
So um, you know, maybe this is like a a small plug for the for the podcast, but maybe you put the kids in bed and you listen to an episode of this podcast as you're laying out your clothes and filling up your water bottle and you know, throwing something together that you could take to the office for lunch tomorrow, or you know, whatever it is, because most of your episodes are 20 minutes, something like that.
00:13:39.679 --> 00:13:41.279
So on purpose, yeah.
00:13:41.759 --> 00:13:42.240
Exactly.
00:13:42.399 --> 00:13:42.879
Exactly.
00:13:43.039 --> 00:13:48.960
So use that as the dopamine hit of like, ooh, I'm gonna listen to the podcast because that's exciting and I like it.
00:13:49.120 --> 00:13:50.320
Because I get ideas.
00:13:51.200 --> 00:13:52.960
This is this is a whole different thing.
00:13:53.200 --> 00:13:54.879
Dopamine stacking.
00:13:55.120 --> 00:13:59.120
So the pod gives you dopamine, the other things not so much.
00:13:59.519 --> 00:14:05.039
So we stack them so that we can do the thing that gives us dopamine with the thing that doesn't really give us so much.
00:14:05.120 --> 00:14:14.559
But then that way in the morning, you've woken up, you've got your water bottle, you've got your work bag packed, you've got, you know, something to take for a snack, whatever it is.
00:14:14.879 --> 00:14:16.320
So so yeah.
00:14:16.960 --> 00:14:17.679
All kinds of things.
00:14:17.919 --> 00:14:18.320
I love it.
00:14:18.480 --> 00:14:19.120
And start small.
00:14:19.519 --> 00:14:20.240
All kinds of things.
00:14:20.480 --> 00:14:22.480
You don't have to, you know, revamp your whole night.
00:14:22.559 --> 00:14:24.080
Start with one small thing that would help.
00:14:24.159 --> 00:14:27.279
Would it be good to just, I'm just gonna go ahead and fill up the kids' water bottles?
00:14:27.440 --> 00:14:28.320
We'll start there.
00:14:28.559 --> 00:14:29.279
See how that goes.
00:14:29.440 --> 00:14:31.440
Just take one thing off my plate in the morning.
00:14:31.600 --> 00:14:32.480
That's it.
00:14:33.200 --> 00:14:34.399
Yeah, that's all.
00:14:34.559 --> 00:14:39.360
Now, Leah, you work with a lot of ADHD women, a lot of moms.
00:14:39.519 --> 00:14:42.240
Um, and I know everybody is so different.
00:14:42.480 --> 00:14:48.720
And so can you really quickly just say, what are what is one of the advantages of working with an ADHD coach?
00:14:49.039 --> 00:14:49.919
Yeah, definitely.
00:14:50.159 --> 00:14:51.919
Kind of goes back to what you were saying.
00:14:52.080 --> 00:14:56.399
It really allows you to carve out that time for yourself.
00:14:56.960 --> 00:15:07.919
And it allows a third party or a second party, the coach, to ask you those questions that you don't really take the time, you know, like you were saying, what how do I want to feel in the morning?
00:15:08.080 --> 00:15:08.399
I don't know.
00:15:08.480 --> 00:15:11.039
I just want to feel like not so crazy.
00:15:11.360 --> 00:15:13.039
Okay, yeah, let's take a minute.
00:15:13.200 --> 00:15:14.000
What does that mean?
00:15:14.159 --> 00:15:15.279
Where is the craziness?
00:15:15.360 --> 00:15:16.960
Well, we can never find shoes.
00:15:17.360 --> 00:15:17.679
Okay.
00:15:18.240 --> 00:15:18.559
Okay.
00:15:18.799 --> 00:15:19.120
How?
00:15:19.200 --> 00:15:21.279
What's something that we can can we do about that?
00:15:21.440 --> 00:15:34.240
Is there, you know, a way that um when you get home, like I said, there is you've you've put something on your Google Maps that it knows when you pull in the driveway to send you a thing that says put shoes, you know, in the mud room, whatever it is.
00:15:34.480 --> 00:15:35.519
Ask the kids to help.
00:15:35.679 --> 00:15:38.159
Hey guys, mom's having a moment.
00:15:38.399 --> 00:15:43.039
Can you guys remind me to take my shoes off when we get in the house and put them in the mud room?
00:15:43.279 --> 00:15:44.320
That would be so helpful.
00:15:44.480 --> 00:15:46.000
Do you think you all could do that?
00:15:46.320 --> 00:15:47.440
They might not.
00:15:47.759 --> 00:15:54.720
But having that conversation, saying it out loud, bringing them into the fold, especially depending on how old they are, they might.
00:15:54.879 --> 00:15:55.200
Right.
00:15:55.679 --> 00:15:56.240
Right.
00:15:56.559 --> 00:16:07.039
So it allows you to come up with things that you haven't really thought of yourself because questions have been asked in a different way, and then solutions are presented in a lighter way.
00:16:07.200 --> 00:16:11.120
Again, these are at least the way my coaching works, these are options.
00:16:11.679 --> 00:16:15.360
You don't have to do a single thing that I have said, but you could try it.
00:16:16.399 --> 00:16:19.039
We can experiment with some things and see how it feels.
00:16:19.440 --> 00:16:21.519
Try it on, keep it if it fits.
00:16:22.159 --> 00:16:22.559
Right.
00:16:22.960 --> 00:16:36.480
So I think the the the biggest benefit is it allows for that pause that we struggle to take for various reasons because we're too busy, we've got kids, we've got jobs, we've got friends, we've got all the things.
00:16:36.639 --> 00:16:39.440
But then also sometimes we just don't know the questions to ask.
00:16:39.840 --> 00:16:41.360
And that's not a that's not a bad thing.
00:16:41.600 --> 00:16:44.320
It just, you know, we're too, we're too close to the, what is it?
00:16:44.399 --> 00:16:48.399
You're um too close to the trees to see the forest, something like that.
00:16:50.159 --> 00:16:50.799
That makes sense.
00:16:51.039 --> 00:16:51.519
Too close.
00:16:51.759 --> 00:16:51.919
Yeah.
00:16:52.080 --> 00:16:52.399
Yeah.
00:16:52.639 --> 00:16:52.960
Yeah.
00:16:53.120 --> 00:16:54.559
So you're you're too close to it.
00:16:54.639 --> 00:16:56.240
It's it's it's you, right?
00:16:56.320 --> 00:16:58.000
And so you can't see the whole thing.
00:16:58.240 --> 00:17:01.360
You can't see the whole picture because it's hard to zoom out and see it.
00:17:01.600 --> 00:17:01.919
Yeah.
00:17:02.159 --> 00:17:02.559
Mm-hmm.
00:17:02.799 --> 00:17:03.039
Yeah.
00:17:03.200 --> 00:17:05.839
When you are overwhelmed, you just you're just you're done.
00:17:05.920 --> 00:17:06.640
You can't think.
00:17:06.799 --> 00:17:08.559
So awesome.
00:17:08.720 --> 00:17:16.000
Well, if somebody wanted to work with you, wanted to know more about you, interested in these Sundays, um, what where can they find you?
00:17:16.480 --> 00:17:18.319
So you can pop over to Instagram.
00:17:18.400 --> 00:17:24.480
That is definitely the most um social media that that's the most um active platform that I participate in.
00:17:24.559 --> 00:17:28.640
I am not a huge social media girly, so you want to see a ton there.
00:17:29.039 --> 00:17:32.240
But um it is still the the place that um I show up the most.
00:17:32.400 --> 00:17:36.000
So that's gonna be at adhd.coach.lea.
00:17:36.160 --> 00:17:37.200
There's all kinds of links there.
00:17:37.279 --> 00:17:42.720
You can get to my website, you can book a free 45-minute coaching call, no strings attached.
00:17:42.960 --> 00:17:43.519
Pop in.
00:17:43.599 --> 00:17:45.519
Let's see if we can get you some support.
00:17:45.680 --> 00:17:50.880
If you feel like it's a good fit and you want to keep moving forward, then I will tell you your options.
00:17:51.119 --> 00:17:53.440
Otherwise, lovely to meet you.
00:17:53.599 --> 00:17:54.400
Good luck.
00:17:54.559 --> 00:17:58.160
Um, you can also just pop right over to my website if that's easier for you.
00:17:58.319 --> 00:18:01.440
It is LeaCcoaching.com.
00:18:01.920 --> 00:18:02.720
That's that.
00:18:02.960 --> 00:18:03.680
Awesome.
00:18:03.920 --> 00:18:04.720
Wonderful.
00:18:04.880 --> 00:18:15.200
I just, you know, everybody is in such a different season of life, and it's nice just to make all of these connections to let us know like we're not the only ones who've who are going through this and who are dealing with it.
00:18:15.359 --> 00:18:19.519
And and you just seem so put together and you know what you're doing.
00:18:19.680 --> 00:18:23.920
And I know I'm sure that's not always been the story if you've had ADHD.
00:18:24.160 --> 00:18:29.119
But but what I see is someone who like I see like a bodybuilder, you know?
00:18:29.359 --> 00:18:30.880
Like, yeah.
00:18:31.200 --> 00:18:39.920
You're you've you've you've habit stacked and you've put all these things together, and you took all of these micro steps, and you're you've built this thing that's working for you.
00:18:40.079 --> 00:18:42.880
And I think a lot of us want that.
00:18:43.039 --> 00:18:48.160
And so it's nice to be able to look and see, okay, here are the small little micro steps so I can get there.
00:18:48.720 --> 00:18:49.039
Yeah.
00:18:49.279 --> 00:18:52.880
I think I really want people to know it's possible.
00:18:53.279 --> 00:18:58.720
It's just because, yeah, just because it's always been a way doesn't mean it has to stay that way.
00:18:58.960 --> 00:19:02.480
It is possible to make these small changes and to make things stick.
00:19:02.559 --> 00:19:05.119
And like you were saying, you are not alone at all.
00:19:05.200 --> 00:19:07.599
And you don't have to go at it alone anymore.
00:19:07.839 --> 00:19:11.039
Um, I think a lot of us try that and it's hard.
00:19:11.279 --> 00:19:12.880
So it is.
00:19:13.279 --> 00:19:14.160
So all right.
00:19:14.400 --> 00:19:15.920
Thank you again, Leah, for being on the show.
00:19:16.640 --> 00:19:18.160
We wish you all the time that's amazing.
00:19:18.400 --> 00:19:18.720
Yeah.
00:19:18.880 --> 00:19:19.279
Yeah.
00:19:19.599 --> 00:19:23.680
Well, thanks again for listening to Quick Wins for ADHD moms.
00:19:24.000 --> 00:19:29.839
I hope you walk away, we're just learning so much about how you can apply these little tips to your life.
00:19:30.000 --> 00:19:32.319
And again, you don't have to apply all of them.
00:19:32.480 --> 00:19:39.680
Just listening and finding something that might work and you implement it into your day might be life-changing.
00:19:39.920 --> 00:19:41.519
And so that's why we're here.
00:19:41.759 --> 00:19:45.759
You can find us online at theadhdmom.com.
00:19:45.920 --> 00:19:48.960
We also have a dopamine hit list if you'd like to check that out.
00:19:49.119 --> 00:19:52.960
It's theadhdmom.com slash dopamine.
00:19:53.440 --> 00:19:56.480
Well, until next time, I hope you have a wonderful week.
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Take the time to enjoy every moment with your kids this week.
