Heather Murphy-Certified somatics coach, trauma informed breathwork facilitator and expressive arts.

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Hi, Heather, Welcome to the Quantum Alchemist Master Podcast.
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It's a pleasure to have you.
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I'm actually very excited to learn a little bit more about your journey, especially because it includes a lot of the stuff that I love and that I've been through myself, including somatics, art and a bunch of other surprises that you have to share with us.
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Please take the floor and tell us a little bit about yourself and your journey and how you got to where you are today.
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Thank you for having me, rosalia.
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I'm so honored to be here and, yeah, sometimes when you start I just don't know where to start with my story.
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But I'll just say I really struggled with my mental health since I was nine years old actually.
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Yeah, it was something where I never really knew what was wrong with me, but it just seemed like I needed to be fixed.
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And I think this is something for people who struggle with mental health.
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They might find themselves saying as well.
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For people who struggle with mental health, they might find themselves saying as well.
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I just want to say right now you don't need to be fixed, there's nothing wrong with you.
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We just have to learn how to integrate with these aspects of our mental health and there is healing for you out there.
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So my life was always kind of feeling like it was in chaos.
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My 20s were very chaotic for me, really struggled with self-harm, suicidal ideation, you know, struggled with keeping a job because of my mental health.
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I struggled with money.
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I struggled with everything and you know it's funny.
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At some point I learned about manifestation and I thought this would be like the answer.
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But it took me a long time to really like understand what creating our own reality really is, and it goes so much more than like a lot of the pop manifestation tips that you get.
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It's a deep journey of self-healing that allows us to really begin to have the confidence to get out there and create what we want.
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So I just want to say to the listener that you have the power within yourself to transform and to create the life that you want, and I know that might feel hard but, believe me, I have been in some of the darkest places mentally, emotionally and physically as well.
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Definitely been in like really bad situations, especially because of my lack of job at times, like didn't pay my rent, got evicted, lived in my car for a couple of weeks, like situations like that.
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So just for anybody out there that's like I don't know how to like start this work or whatever.
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Like you know it's possible for you, so yeah, how did you start?
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kind of your own inner work, because we hear a lot of the time.
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Kind of your own inner work because we hear, we hear a lot of the time, and and and we'll expand more depending on what you say, because you know, doing the work, um, in my personal opinion, is not cookie cutter is not copy and paste is not.
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And the way you manifest is not copy and paste either.
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In my opinion, it's very personalized um and unique as we are.
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Um, because what's going to work for me, it's probably not going to work for you.
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Uh, or some things may, and you may take what serves you and move on.
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So, in particularly in in your case, how or at what age first did you say, okay, hang on, you know, maybe there's something I can do about it.
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And how did that shift start?
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Like what were the first couple of steps that you took to make that change, or that?
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shift.
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Yeah, you know it's funny because I'm surprised by what actually popped into my mind.
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Yeah, you know it's funny because I'm surprised by what actually popped into my mind, but especially being somebody that struggled with depression and still does at times, it was actually just yoga and movement that around when I was like 16, I got a yoga DVD or something like that and I think that was like the first time I was exposed to that sort of thing.
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I definitely kind of grew up like.
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I grew up in the Northwest and Seattle.
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It's very depressing up there, it's hard to live with no son and I grew up with two parents who were just your kind of typical 90s parents.
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I was a latchkey kid and I think they did the best that they could, but they were not very involved or anything or very aware that I was struggling with any sort of mental health stuff and they were not very cultured.
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I would say so it was not like I really knew what yoga was.
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Even I think I just started to hear about it or something around age 16.
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And I was like, oh, I'm going to get a yoga DVD.
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So I think I just was introduced to meditation at that time, like through the yoga video and I started doing it every day and I started to feel better.
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I started to feel a little bit happier doing it every day and I started to feel better.
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I started to feel a little bit happier.
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Um, I think we know now very well that just exercise in general is really helpful for depression.
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Um, but there was still stuff.
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You know there was trauma there.
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Um and I won't get too much into trauma just because I don't want to, like, activate the audience, but it's around sexual abuse and stuff like that, and so we don't need to go into too much detail.
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But you can imagine that kind of stuff really stays in the body.
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So, you know, throughout this time period, let's say, age 16 to throughout my twenties, I just still couldn't figure out what was wrong with me.
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I would just have these moments where I was really easily triggered or, um, I would struggle in relationships to like have, you know, a boyfriend that I had.
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It was just like when I in my twenties, it was just really hard Cause I was just always so triggered by him because of who he reminded me of and, like you know, it was just like all of my wounding was coming out in that relationship, which seems to be like a common theme, I've noticed, is like sometimes being in relationship can really just be the mirror that we need to see what our wounds are.
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But yeah, I feel like that's where that journey started.
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And, you know, I feel like my journey has just been like this way and then that way, you know, like I'd fall off of doing the DVD, but then, like five years later, I went to a Buddhist temple for the first time in my 20s and I started doing that for a while and then, you know, you just have seasons of life and I think my journey has been very slow, um, and I wouldn't say until I was exposed to more somatics, uh somatic practices, that I actually started to feel like things were changing for me.
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Um, I did talk therapy for years.
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I I've done just all the things like the self-help books, like everything trying to read affirmations, which are not bad I still like to do affirmations but for me it really has been like having a daily breathwork or movement, visceral intelligence practice that has made me feel so much more embodied and grounded and integrated with all of that stuff that I've been living with, you know.
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Wow, there's a lot to unpack there, if I may.
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Yeah, sorry.
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Yeah, okay, cool, thank you for that, thank you for being vulnerable.
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I know, tried so many different avenues Because Something that is very Sad To me.
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I understand it's all perfect, unfolding and the way evolution should, the way each soul chose it, and so forth.
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So it's a little more complex than that, but it's still very sad to me that, regardless of whatever avenues we choose to try to establish that connection back to self or back to the divine within ourselves, it's heavily criticized by others.
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To me, I feel almost like, let's just say, humanity is caged in in this matrix of thought of limiting beliefs, of conditioning right, and as long as that scale is tipping in the way of like fear, limitation, lack, separation is tipping in the way of like fear, limitation, lack, separation we're not going to see a difference in the collective actual reality from where I see it, in my opinion.
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Just hypothetically, thinking of that study that was done with the monkeys inside a cage and then they don't let the younger monkeys that are not used to it, they pull them down every time they're going to exit the cage automatically.
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They don't let them come out of the cage.
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So and I understand this, out of love, you know, I, I don't, and that that a lot of people are doing certain things or live in fear because they feared, like you know, the unknown or no, I've never done it that way.
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That's not the way you do it.
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You know that kind of or this is the only way.
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This is the only truth.
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So in that I I that in itself, I find it very limiting because it's not allowing us to expand to our full capacity.
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Limiting because it's not allowing us to expand to our full capacity.
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Just like a baby, you know.
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It's like oh no, don't even try to walk, that's just not going to work.
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Yeah Well, baby's going to, you know it's beautiful, it's hurtful, I mean it's, you know.
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I see the baby fall trying, you know, trying to get up, and but you know, within as long as you're not harming yourself or not harming another human being, I feel it's okay to explore, it's okay to try different avenues.
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It's, you know, as long as you're not spiraling down into any heavy stuff, you know it's, it's all right, you're not harming anybody else, you're not harming yourself, and you're learning, and it feels safe and it feels nurturing and you're learning something new, right, and it feels safe and it feels nurturing and you're learning something new, right?
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So thank you for sharing that.
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There are more than one way of doing these things.
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Negative talk around yoga, around breathwork, around plant medicine, around guides, just around this whole spiritual realm and around the awakening process, on how it's all bad and satanic and just the polar opposite, which is okay, it's beautiful.
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If you have, that's fine.
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Potato, potato.
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We're all entitled to our own opinion, that's fine.
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But I can't help but to invite everyone to question everything.
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Right, that's all I'm saying.
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Question it.
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Why would you just take it for granted, right?
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Question it.
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Question absolutely everything in your life your thoughts, the way you do things, your behavior, society, religion, all of it.
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Okay.
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And after you question it, if you come back 360, right where you were before awesome, that's really good.
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You know that means everything was in alignment, that's really good, you know, that means everything was in alignment.
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But from my personal experience, I and I can't help but to look back and look at all the different avenues and how.
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Of course I'm never going to be 100% with every single one, because maybe I wasn't raised in that religion or I don't come from that lineage or that practice.
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Well, in my and I honor them and I respect them and I have nothing, but you know, just just a lot of grace that they came in my life at the time that they did because they pull me out of out of a darkness, out of a hole, right, whether it was meditation, yoga, akashic records, whatever it was for me.
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So I see a lot of that with a lot of respect and I respect everybody else's way and journey of getting there and of communicating with the divine love and divine connection within ourselves.
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And that has evolved so much.
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Like daily it evolves.
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It's different.
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I am different.
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My connection to God is different.
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The way we communicate and exchange energy and information is different.
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It's like a dance right and little by little you become a better dance partner.
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You learn new moves and new right.
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So how has that been the same for you?
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Do you feel kind of like your relationship with whatever you believe in?
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Because I don't even know where you stand with this at this point.
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How has that shifted?
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Like were you an atheist at the beginning and and then now I don't know whatever.
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You know, how has that kind of shifted for you?
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Yeah, I'm excited that you asked me this question and I love that you talked about the dance, because I love dance and somatics.
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I love the idea of, like we dance with the universe, god, source, whatever you want to call it, and I just love that idea that it's like a tango or something.
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It's something like kind of almost even sensual in that way, where I'm not sexual but just I mean sensual, like that.
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You just that you get to like move in this like smooth and easy way.
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But to answer your question, so yeah, my journey of spirituality has been interesting in itself and I talked about my mental health journey, but with that, really there is like a pairing of my spiritual journey.
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Um, so, when I was young, probably around similar age of nine I was always really drawn to witchy things.
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Um, you know it was the nineties, it was in vogue, like.
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I remember all these shows and things like that.
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Um, and I just loved the idea of being able to like have that kind of power and magic in my life, you know, not in like a bad way, but just like being a good witch or something.
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And and it looks different now when people talk about these things, or it's spoken about differently now, I think, um, and so anyway, I had an aunt who really shut me down and scared the bejesus out of me, like in a real way, with like telling me that the devil was in my house.
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And all this so literally, like as a little kid, I thought that the devil was in my house and became really, really frightened by all of anything in that spiritual realm.
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And then and my parents, by the way, are agnostic basically we just didn't, we didn't talk about God ever.
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And it's interesting just thinking about like my family.
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My dad grew up in like a very Catholic household, which is the aunt that I was talking to is his sister.
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So I think it was just like really strong there and I sense and him and I have never talked about this to this day, but I sense that like maybe he had something happen, cause he just doesn't talk about like I think he believes in God, but I just he just doesn't talk about like any of that stuff.
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And my mom was always just like you can believe whatever you want to believe, like you can you know whatever religion you are, yeah, she was really open.
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So I didn't grow up in a repressive household, but I think that what my aunt did traumatized me.
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So I just kind of was like shut down.
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Um, it was like I was even just like scared to go to church, like cause I had friends and other family members that would go and they'd be like, do you want to go?
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And I'd be like, uh, like I was scared, um, like I felt like I lost trust in God, basically because I thought like, how can this be?
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You know, like this, um, that there's sort of this like evil and there's this good, and then they're just like it's like a battle, um, and so, yeah, I think that again, just like, as I was introduced to meditation, I was more open to the possibilities and when I was in my early 20s, I started eating at this Hare Krishna cafe and there was this woman and this man that ran the cafe and I started going to temple with them and that was like a little chapter of my life where it was like it felt good to go to temple and like and they did dancing and it's just different at a Hare Krishna temple and you know, it was just fun to be exposed to a different culture too, and, um, they just it felt like a loving family and eventually they moved.
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So, like that chapter of my life went and I really thought I would be like a devout Hare Krishna or, you know, thought I would be like a devout Hare Krishna or you know Hare Krishna devotee for the rest of my life.
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But, you know, I evolved and changed and it was interesting because actually not long after that because I was still in my mental health struggle I like that was soon after that I was evicted from my home.
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I was like on the street for a couple of weeks until I could move into another housing situation and it wasn't long after that that I was just like I'm done, like I don't believe in God, like he's just not there for me.
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So I just don't feel it.
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I just didn't feel it.
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I had cut myself off from myself.
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Basically is the way I see it Um just started getting involved in like using more drugs and drinking every day and stuff, and that went on until my late 20s.
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And that's actually when, um, I I don't know why I picked it up, but like I had already been introduced to like the secret manifestation and I was like secretively like reading affirmations and I was secretively making vision boards, but I didn't want anyone to know so, but I was still like I'm an atheist.
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I'm an atheist like for years of my life, um, and I feel like it's only been in the last five years, actually, that I'm like out spiritually, because I think there was like this whole other side of um.
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Some, interestingly enough and I didn't mention this earlier but some of my family members are also also atheists, so I was like on team atheist and then when I was like I'm not Christian and I'm not atheist, everyone hates me and and I think it's just funny because it all comes down to like we need to explore and be our most authentic selves, and for me, I haven't really fallen into any box.
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I'm just trying to connect with that greater consciousness all the time do you mind if I interrupt you there?
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Yeah, thank you.
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So, from where I stand, if as a collective, we could find and respect the beauty of our differences and our own personalized journey.
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Well, I have to look at the spiritual meaning.
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What was that?
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A fly.
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That's got to be a message.
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I think that's a confirmation.
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We have a yes.
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Yes, we have a yes, it's a fly in the room.
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Thank you, universe.
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So you know, if we could.
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Just, I've been through so many religions looking for God outside myself and that didn't really shift until my near-death experience.
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My perception of God and my perception is my perception, and even that is changing, right.
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You don't have to agree with that perception.
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Nobody does.
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It's a personal relationship.
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It's very unique to each one of us.
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So of course, you're not going to fall into any box.
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You're not going to fall into any and that's okay.
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You could follow the crowd's, fine, you could belong to a religion.
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That's beautiful.
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Be there as long as you're happy there.
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Be there as long as you feel welcome.
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Be there as long as you agree with what's being shared.
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And when it's no longer the case, I hope that you can find courage within yourself to move on, to listen to your heart, to wherever you do feel safe, wherever you do feel love and I've come down to, because I work with so many people from so many different backgrounds and that's the people I call in, I attract to work with, because I don't see any difference and by doing the sessions with them, and sometimes their higher self will come in or their guides will come in, and of course it varies depending on what their belief system is, and I find that so beautiful.
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So what I would like to invite everyone listening is just to to be like a child, to open up.
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Nobody's enforcing any beliefs upon you.
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You don't have to be spiritual, you don't have to be atheists, you don't have to believe in God.
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But if we could focus, as a collective, in values and virtues, if we could focus as a collective in values and virtues, right?
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So a lot of the religions have a lot of things in common.
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They go by the golden rule, right, kind of like do unto others as you want others to do unto you.
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Respect and love one another.
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Help the sick, be kind, don't kill.
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Help the sick, be kind, don't kill.
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Just like little standard things that are, I don't know, I guess, what you would call someone with integrity or with a good, open heart.
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And if we could just all focus on doing that within ourselves, we would just have a better world period and we would, in my opinion, come back to oneness and when I mean oneness, I don't mean I don't want you to be like me in regards to more kindness, to more love, to more peace, to dialogue, to respecting, to biodiversity, to respecting every light form, respecting Mother Earth, co-creating with Source, just opening up our consciousness to something different to love.
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Coming back to love, back to our essence.
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You know we have these imaginary things.
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Let's just say, this war between good and evil, right that is exist in every religion is portrayed in many different ways.
00:25:43.633 --> 00:25:52.305
Um, and a lot of times is also that light and darkness within ourselves.
00:25:52.305 --> 00:25:54.230
Ah, there it is again.
00:25:55.313 --> 00:25:56.457
I know so funny.
00:25:57.026 --> 00:26:02.315
That light and darkness within ourselves, right that we have to kind of balance those polar opposites.
00:26:02.315 --> 00:26:11.741
So, with that being said, you know that flight just took me off my track, right.
00:26:11.741 --> 00:26:14.051
The idea I had.
00:26:14.051 --> 00:26:59.329
What I'm saying is, if we can look at our similarities rather than our differences, a lot of us could get our beliefs or our limitations, even because that could crush someone's dream, someone's life, someone's maybe they want to go for a business or an idea and just your own limitations, because you have not been able to follow your own, you bring them down or you're being negative on that person.
00:26:59.329 --> 00:27:12.010
Let's encourage the person, let's be there, let's be supportive, just kind of shifting that mindset individually and then to be able to rip it all as a collective right.
00:27:12.010 --> 00:27:26.567
Hopefully our kids will be able to watch that we've changed our partner and hopefully that will be like like maybe I should kind of look into looking within or be more kind or whatever, or going to church.
00:27:26.567 --> 00:27:27.711
Whatever works for everybody.
00:27:27.711 --> 00:27:28.413
It's beautiful.
00:27:28.413 --> 00:27:32.555
So just kind of more in regards to that.
00:27:33.606 --> 00:27:42.335
But after this whole spiel, I wanted to move into somatics and art specifically because that's been two big parts for me.
00:27:42.335 --> 00:27:51.269
Number one tell me a little bit more about what are some of the somatics that you use specifically to dance?
00:27:51.269 --> 00:27:56.605
Are there any particular dance or movement, or is it free flow, et cetera?
00:27:56.605 --> 00:28:03.423
What do you like to do or what you have explored, and then it would be into art.
00:28:03.423 --> 00:28:04.346
Same thing.
00:28:04.886 --> 00:28:26.998
Actually, you're majoring right and in regards to something, in regards to art yeah, yes, so if you can tell us a little bit more about kind of like the soma and the art, avenues and roads and what you've tried, what has worked and and then from there you kind of can tell us how you actually merge these and work with people and what is it that you do and you share.
00:28:28.325 --> 00:28:29.827
Yeah, okay, I'm ready.
00:28:29.827 --> 00:28:34.218
I have been so excited since I learned about somatics.
00:28:34.218 --> 00:28:41.818
Like I said, there's that fly again Since I learned about som um, because I just want to share it with the world.
00:28:41.818 --> 00:28:45.644
It always is just um comes down to three things.
00:28:45.644 --> 00:28:53.211
So somatics can consist of sound, movement or breath Um, and we talked about this on my podcast a little bit.
00:28:53.211 --> 00:28:57.551
But you know, sound can be like humming right, humming activates that vagus nerve.
00:28:57.551 --> 00:29:04.876
It's put you in the parasympathetic state, so we can be more um, more in that rest and relax state.
00:29:04.876 --> 00:29:11.195
And so I said sound and then obviously breath work.
00:29:11.195 --> 00:29:16.538
There's different breath work patterns that you can do to either activate or to relax.
00:29:17.365 --> 00:29:25.711
And then with movement, a lot of my movement is focused on using visceral intelligence to help move stagnant energy out of the body.
00:29:25.711 --> 00:29:35.814
So in a session, let's say, we'll work a lot with a body scan first and then we kind of do this exploration.
00:29:35.814 --> 00:29:43.817
That's sort of like parts work, and if people don't know what parts work is, it's from the it's called internal family systems.
00:29:43.817 --> 00:29:45.449
You can look it up.
00:29:45.449 --> 00:29:54.117
But it's really this idea that we have many, many parts of ourselves and we actually can hold this somatically in our body.
00:29:54.117 --> 00:30:10.587
So you might be like, oh my gosh, like my, the five-year-old in me that always wanted to be an artist lives right in my heart and she feels so heartbroken and I can see her and I can see that she's wearing a red dress and whatever, whatever.
00:30:10.587 --> 00:30:22.890
You can start to have a lot of visual stimulation as we do this visceral intelligence exercise and I'll invite people into some like intuitive movement to like kind of let more be released.
00:30:22.890 --> 00:30:25.915
It's kind of like um, what are those called?
00:30:25.915 --> 00:30:33.846
When you like, uh, those things you crack on the side of the road that they have a little fire, the um having a total brain fart.
00:30:33.846 --> 00:30:36.471
But you know, when you like crack it, it goes on fire.
00:30:36.471 --> 00:30:48.473
The flares, the flares, the flares, it's like it kind of like opens this thing up and from there we can do somatic practices to help support the body.
00:30:48.554 --> 00:31:11.489
So if somebody needs to do some humming or some breathing or some sort of intuitive movement to help themselves feel, because the more we feel it, the more we heal it, the easier it is to be present with the emotional pain that lives inside of us, the more it sort of dissipates and the more we can integrate with it.
00:31:12.112 --> 00:31:34.433
And I've been really liking this idea of integration, by the way, because I think I want to circle back to something I said earlier, which is like I always felt like I needed to be fixed, like I need to be healed, I need to be fixed, and I was always searching, and I just really want to invite people into this idea of integration, because we have all these parts of ourselves, these aspects, and we can't just make them go away.
00:31:34.433 --> 00:31:37.188
They're a part of our woven story.
00:31:37.188 --> 00:31:58.731
And so, with the expressive arts practice, which I didn't say but so yeah, right now I'm getting my master's in counseling and it's an expressive arts focused program, and so we use things like dance therapy, we use music therapy, we use visual therapy, we can use cinema therapy, which is one of my favorite things.
00:31:59.394 --> 00:32:03.875
If you're somebody that I was just looking at that today popped up on my phone.
00:32:03.875 --> 00:32:06.352
I thought it was the coolest thing yeah.
00:32:06.593 --> 00:32:17.318
Oh, yes, like I think that there's so many different ways we can use cinema to help ourselves transmute emotions, to help us process.
00:32:17.318 --> 00:32:19.162
I was just talking about um.
00:32:19.162 --> 00:32:26.174
I was talking about this with my husband cause we watched this movie recently called it's kind of a funny story.
00:32:26.174 --> 00:32:42.679
It's about a young boy who goes um, he gets, uh, he has a 5150 place on him so he has mandatory hold in a mental health facility and, um, I think it's a great one for teens to watch who are struggling with mental health.
00:32:42.679 --> 00:32:51.290
So it's just like we can use these films to help people be like, get a sense of hope of getting through a story, be like I relate to that story.
00:32:51.290 --> 00:32:58.150
We can do our own story, writing to tell our story and maybe give ourselves a happy ending.
00:32:58.150 --> 00:33:18.077
Um, all of these things can help us be more fully expressed, and so my focus in my program because you kind of have to narrow it down has definitely been dance, and so I use a lot of just intuitive dance, ecstatic dance, and I've done pole dance.
00:33:18.077 --> 00:33:24.949
I've done, I've been wanting to learn belly dancing and so just trying different dances.
00:33:25.349 --> 00:33:30.367
Um, there's different research, even for like, as you might know, like for Parkinson's and like.
00:33:30.367 --> 00:33:40.233
Recently there was a study about how dance is beating out SSRIs in terms of helping people with depression, which is incredible.
00:33:40.233 --> 00:33:43.910
And this is dance is speeding out exercise for beating depression.
00:33:43.910 --> 00:33:46.695
So I dance every day, I dance every morning.
00:33:46.695 --> 00:33:49.208
I dance to at least one song, if not two.
00:33:49.208 --> 00:33:51.833
If I have time, I go 30 minutes, you know.
00:33:51.833 --> 00:34:27.166
And so, yeah, I just like I love dance and I love movement, and I think, if we can take it even further into another artistic modality that feels good and you feel drawn to, it's such a beautiful and spiritual experience to be able to find ways to express ourselves and allow ourselves to integrate and see ourselves in the story that we've lived so far and that we are continuing to create and live in, you know.
00:34:28.872 --> 00:34:36.568
I'm fascinated by everything you've said, maybe because I resonate with all of it and it's been a big part of my journey.
00:34:36.568 --> 00:35:16.514
But to me, the divine uses whatever brings us into that flow state as inspiration, as a moment where we can just connect and be in flow with the divine and, in my opinion, whether it be grief, sadness or whatever it is, but you're in that, it's just a flow state, it's just, you're just immersed, lost in it, you're just so present.
00:35:16.514 --> 00:35:33.771
You're present and presence at the same time in the now moment, which is one of the few times where you're not worried about the future or worried about the past.
00:35:33.771 --> 00:36:00.088
So I have been considering for the past month doing Afro-Cuban dancing and well, of course, now you mentioned this and I'm like, yes, and if the fly comes before we drop the podcast, that would be another yes for me.
00:36:00.088 --> 00:36:03.831
Okay, I'm expecting it now.
00:36:03.831 --> 00:36:07.152
Yeah, so yeah.
00:36:07.152 --> 00:36:10.456
And I'm taking art classes.
00:36:10.655 --> 00:36:11.655
I love painting.
00:36:11.655 --> 00:36:20.621
I do these weird I learned they're called, I think, blind, blind drawing or no, blind contouring.
00:36:20.621 --> 00:36:21.682
That's what I do.
00:36:21.682 --> 00:36:26.514
I don't even know what I do because I just do it automatically, so I don't know that it had a name or anything.
00:36:26.514 --> 00:36:31.255
Pretty much I just grab a canvas or a paper or whatever.
00:36:31.255 --> 00:36:39.699
I start on one end, it is one continuous line and I make different things without lifting the actual.
00:36:39.699 --> 00:36:52.952
Sometimes I do it with my eyes closed and sometimes I just paint it with my eyes open, depending on how I feel inspired to do it, and I make the randomest, weirdest stuff and I love it.
00:36:52.952 --> 00:37:06.451
I feel there are no thoughts, no worries, I am in flow, I'm in purely therapeutic, I am just like in awe, like shh, my brain is just like in heaven.
00:37:08.204 --> 00:37:17.976
So I just started art class and I was like I just started reading the artist way as well.
00:37:18.998 --> 00:37:23.056
Oh yeah, yay, um, so I don't know.
00:37:23.056 --> 00:37:24.632
I just just now.
00:37:24.632 --> 00:37:28.422
I have never before done anything artistic, ever, ever.
00:37:28.422 --> 00:38:10.182
So just now I'm allowing myself, I feel, to be more in balance with my feminine Cause I was operating in my masculine for so long and it has helped me so, so much in every way, and I feel that therapy that we have now could include or start including so much more somatics and therapy and aroma therapy and all of these different modes, kind of like a 360 approach rather than a cookie cutter approach.
00:38:10.182 --> 00:38:12.271
Here's your SSRI.
00:38:12.271 --> 00:38:13.713
Here's your first line of treatment.
00:38:13.713 --> 00:38:15.076
Good luck with that.
00:38:15.076 --> 00:38:17.259
I hope you don't commit suicide.
00:38:17.259 --> 00:38:20.423
Don't quit abruptly, right?
00:38:20.463 --> 00:38:35.815
Yeah, so I feel like, especially if we've been through it, we want to be the example, to offer something different to other people.
00:38:35.815 --> 00:38:43.396
It's like we probably use our challenges and whatever we went through to create what we wish we had when we were going through it, or at least that's how I see it.
00:38:44.490 --> 00:38:45.836
I completely agree with that.
00:38:45.836 --> 00:38:51.110
I think that I would have benefited so much from art therapy and somatics.
00:38:51.110 --> 00:38:58.425
I think I spent so long just talking and people don't, especially when there's trauma involved.
00:38:58.425 --> 00:39:10.900
Like, people don't talk about trauma, they don't just say, well, this terrible thing happened, you know, by so-and-so, when I was nine years old or whatever, and um, and that's like people don't process that way.
00:39:10.900 --> 00:39:22.230
Um, a lot of those things are suppressed and and there's different like types of talk therapy, of course, that like depth psychology and stuff that can help people verbally process.
00:39:22.230 --> 00:39:29.864
But I just feel like, for me at least, I've just fallen in love with nonverbal processing.
00:39:29.864 --> 00:39:40.630
So, yeah, I think it's really like having, like creating a space where people can be guided.
00:39:40.630 --> 00:39:43.159
I feel like I don't have the answers.
00:39:43.159 --> 00:39:47.077
I just want to create a space where you can discover them within yourself.
00:39:47.077 --> 00:39:48.760
You know it's beautiful.
00:39:49.701 --> 00:39:51.384
I love that.
00:39:51.384 --> 00:39:51.844
I love.
00:39:51.844 --> 00:39:55.619
I share very much the idea of guiding people within for answers.
00:39:55.619 --> 00:39:58.414
Yeah, that's what I'm all about.
00:39:58.414 --> 00:40:15.260
Yeah, we're there for support, we're there to guide you, we're there to share our tools, but ultimately, you know, it's really there's a lot of responsibility that relies on them.
00:40:15.260 --> 00:40:19.012
If they really want to change, they have to be able willing, open, right.
00:40:19.012 --> 00:40:20.425
So if you tell want to change, they have to be able willing, open, right.
00:40:20.445 --> 00:40:29.443
So if you tell me to moo like a cow and you know it works, as weird and quick as it sounds.
00:40:29.443 --> 00:40:34.637
You know, if I'm not willing and open I'll be like uh f you, I'm done.
00:40:34.637 --> 00:40:36.059
This session doesn't work for me.
00:40:36.059 --> 00:40:39.788
This is BS, you know, yeah, yeah.
00:40:39.788 --> 00:40:51.938
So you have to be, you know, be able to willing and open to to try new things and um, especially from somebody who's actually tested them and been been through it um themselves.
00:40:51.938 --> 00:40:54.791
So what does working with you look like?
00:40:54.791 --> 00:40:57.617
Like, um, what are some of the stuff?
00:40:57.617 --> 00:41:00.130
Is this some of the same stuff you bring into a session?
00:41:00.130 --> 00:41:01.773
How long is the session?
00:41:01.773 --> 00:41:03.197
Is it a couple of sessions?
00:41:03.197 --> 00:41:08.177
Do you do like an interview first to kind of determine what the person needs Like?
00:41:08.177 --> 00:41:09.400
How does that look like?
00:41:11.250 --> 00:41:12.192
Yeah, thanks for asking that.
00:41:12.192 --> 00:41:16.603
Um, you know, honestly, a lot of people will just do one-offs.
00:41:16.603 --> 00:41:27.976
Um, you know, I get people that will sign up for eight weeks or something, especially when they're really going through something hard like a divorce or a job transition or something like that.
00:41:27.976 --> 00:41:32.670
Usually people will want to work with me a little bit longer around that.
00:41:32.670 --> 00:41:34.396
But I love that one session can be so powerful for people Excuse me.
00:41:34.396 --> 00:41:39.911
I love that, like, one session can be so powerful for people, excuse me.
00:41:39.911 --> 00:41:45.918
And so, yeah, I just will send them a little bit of a questionnaire.
00:41:45.918 --> 00:42:03.496
We won't really do a consultation per se, just kind of emailing if they want to tell me what's going on, because, again, that's more cognitive and like verbal processing, and so in a session it's pretty typically the same.
00:42:03.496 --> 00:42:10.856
Unless I can tell that the person has just shown up and they're really dysregulated, then we need to like do some immediate like regulation.
00:42:10.856 --> 00:42:13.663
So sometimes that happens.
00:42:13.663 --> 00:42:19.782
But so, whatever tool we might use, I will explore that with them, like what would feel good.
00:42:19.782 --> 00:42:26.820
So it might be some breath work, it might be some sound, it might be some movement, um, but if they're, they come in, which most, most people do.
00:42:26.820 --> 00:42:29.943
They come in and they want to talk, or so I give them.
00:42:29.943 --> 00:42:35.719
I give them 15 minutes, I give 10, 10, 15 minutes max to verbalize what's going on.
00:42:35.719 --> 00:42:39.603
Um, and then from there we check in with the body.
00:42:39.603 --> 00:42:41.713
We I always do a body scan with people.
00:42:41.713 --> 00:42:45.688
I think body scans are like the most basic, most powerful tool.
00:42:45.688 --> 00:42:54.590
Like literally, I will spend three minutes throughout my day just to like check in with my body, because it's so easy to ignore.
00:42:54.590 --> 00:43:00.820
Until you get home at the end of the day you notice the most people, like when you're working 40 hours a week or whatever.
00:43:00.820 --> 00:43:07.856
You get home and you're just like, wow, my shoulder hurts, like I didn't notice it all day.
00:43:07.856 --> 00:43:13.414
But it's not until we finally are in that safe, calm space that we can actually start to notice our bodies.
00:43:13.414 --> 00:43:31.065
So it's good to do consistent body scans and checking in, but so with the session we'll do that visceral intelligence exercise and we'll start to really drop in, be the observer of our experience and see what starts to come through.
00:43:31.269 --> 00:43:40.143
A lot of people do get those visuals like I was talking about, where they start to see shapes and colors and we might start talking to it.
00:43:40.143 --> 00:43:41.025
What is that?
00:43:41.025 --> 00:43:42.411
What's there for you?
00:43:42.411 --> 00:43:43.315
What's alive for you.
00:43:43.315 --> 00:43:44.197
How is that feeling?
00:43:44.197 --> 00:43:46.130
Does it feel tense, does it feel open?
00:43:46.130 --> 00:43:50.822
And so we just begin to explore what's alive for them in their body.
00:43:51.824 --> 00:43:58.021
Some people that don't have as many visuals might just get you know, cause we have like the five senses.
00:43:58.021 --> 00:43:59.967
So some people might start hearing something.
00:43:59.967 --> 00:44:00.547
They might start saying like know, because we have like the five senses.
00:44:00.547 --> 00:44:01.429
So some people might start hearing something.
00:44:01.429 --> 00:44:05.039
They might start saying like, oh, I'm getting another sort of somatic thing.
00:44:05.039 --> 00:44:08.054
They might start feeling like goosebumps or whatever.
00:44:08.054 --> 00:44:09.978
It's so different for everyone.
00:44:11.181 --> 00:44:15.695
And so, with that, we're just really exploring what's within them.
00:44:15.695 --> 00:44:28.891
And that's where I'm just like I'm not the wise person that knows all the end, all be all like you are the, the knower, the truth seeker of your, of your own soul and your own body.
00:44:28.891 --> 00:44:40.780
And so, with that, that's where I will invite them to ask those things that they're seeing or feeling or hearing, what they need.
00:44:40.780 --> 00:44:44.701
Right, it always comes back down to like, how can we meet our own needs?
00:44:44.701 --> 00:44:49.557
And that doesn't mean that we don't need people, but we do need to learn how to find.
00:44:49.557 --> 00:44:54.900
If you want love, if you want abundance, if you want health, it already lives inside of you.
00:44:54.900 --> 00:45:02.817
You just have to unblock and move the stagnant energy out of your body that's preventing it from being expressed.
00:45:02.817 --> 00:45:05.226
You know I love that.
00:45:05.246 --> 00:45:27.378
I hope that answers that clearly yeah, and I feel like when, when we do the session uh, which I have to get back to you on that, I feel like in some ways, a a lot of us use similar techniques in our own way, but again very similar to religion.
00:45:27.378 --> 00:45:30.528
There's like common threads, yeah.
00:45:30.688 --> 00:45:37.704
Right so after we do it, I'm going to probably be asking you how is it similar to the stuff that you do?
00:45:37.704 --> 00:45:41.097
Because from what you're describing there's a lot of similarities.
00:45:41.097 --> 00:45:48.193
So it's very interesting how different ways of working still we come back to.
00:45:48.193 --> 00:46:07.731
Okay, your body has those answers, it knows, it has wisdom, and I love the focus on kind of like being self-sufficient with a guide until you get the hang of it, and then you can do in the practices yourself and if you ever need me, I'm a ring away type.
00:46:07.873 --> 00:46:18.360
uh I, yeah, I really believe in that, because I kind of hate the idea of like guru addiction or something where it's like, yeah, we don't want to, I don't want you to have to.
00:46:18.360 --> 00:46:33.784
Like, depend on me, I want you to like this is a liberatory practice, like we want to liberate you and know that you don't have to depend on the wisdom of others to to know, like it's, it's already inside of you.
00:46:33.784 --> 00:46:47.563
Um, yeah, it's, it's interesting because, with what you were saying, like, I've worked with other guides myself that have done similar ish things too, but it's just, it just hits different.
00:46:47.563 --> 00:46:51.677
You know like you're gonna be in a container with somebody.
00:46:51.677 --> 00:46:54.543
Everybody's energetic medicine is different.
00:46:54.543 --> 00:47:12.463
You know, um and I think that's important like, like when, like for the listener, when people are, or when you're looking for someone, like you want to feel safe with them, you want to feel like they're not judging you or whatever it is that you're needing right.
00:47:12.463 --> 00:47:20.708
Like you, you can just feel that if their medicine is a good match for you 100%, 100%, 100%.
00:47:20.728 --> 00:47:20.809
Yeah.
00:47:22.110 --> 00:47:27.463
And is there any last messages you want to leave the listeners with?
00:47:27.463 --> 00:47:30.539
Also where they can find you.
00:47:30.539 --> 00:47:32.155
What's the best way to reach you?
00:47:33.739 --> 00:47:35.213
Yeah, thank you so much.
00:47:35.213 --> 00:47:43.242
Yeah, just, my whole thing has just come down to love.
00:47:43.242 --> 00:47:46.697
You know, it's easy for me to say, just love yourself.
00:47:46.697 --> 00:47:54.000
You know, cause I know that if you're listening right now and you're, I'm like I'm almost about to cry, um, cause I've been there.
00:47:54.000 --> 00:48:03.331
You know, um, if you can, just if you're having a hard time loving yourself, can you just accept yourself right now?
00:48:03.331 --> 00:48:09.884
Can you just look in the mirror and say, okay, this is, this is who I am, this is where I'm at?
00:48:09.884 --> 00:48:11.731
Can you just start there?
00:48:11.731 --> 00:48:20.556
And it always comes down to just knowing that there is so much love for you out there.
00:48:20.797 --> 00:48:26.001
And, by the way, I was trying to remember what the phone number for the Suicide Hotline was last time you were on my podcast.
00:48:26.001 --> 00:48:28.702
I just wanted to share it real quick, but it's 988.
00:48:28.702 --> 00:48:40.070
So if anyone out there is struggling with that, even if you're like I'm not really like even if you're like level one had the thought like, call, call them.
00:48:40.070 --> 00:48:41.952
They're so nice, I've called them myself.
00:48:41.952 --> 00:48:44.018
People are there for you.
00:48:44.018 --> 00:48:47.190
So mental health is really big to me, obviously.
00:48:47.190 --> 00:48:50.336
So that's kind of my.
00:48:50.336 --> 00:48:55.311
My last thing is just like reach out for people and it's okay If in your head.
00:48:55.311 --> 00:48:58.797
You're just like I wish I could take a month off and that people would bring me soup every day.
00:48:58.797 --> 00:49:08.251
Well, maybe that can be arranged, I don't know, but it's okay to have those thoughts, yeah.
00:49:08.251 --> 00:49:15.684
And then, as far as connecting with me, I have my own podcast, obviously.
00:49:15.684 --> 00:49:20.367
So Leah was a guest and I'm excited for your episode to come out.
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Um, and so that's called for the love of self and that was like channeled to me, that that business name was channeled to me, I swear, because I was thinking about this idea of like.
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You know how people say like, oh, for the love of god, you know, I would just say like for the love of self, like I needed to, you know, I mean god's still there, we're, you know, but that's self.
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Like I needed to, you know, I mean God's still there, we're, you know, but that's, we're connected, it's all one, you know.
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So, um, so I have the for the love of self podcast and then my, my Instagram handle and Tik TOK handles are a little bit different variations of that, cause, you know there's for the love of love of dot self is my instagram handle.
00:49:59.865 --> 00:50:04.400
So, anyway, I guess we can just make sure we put the link we'll put it in the description.
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There's no worries um, yeah, so I'd love to.
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If you ever need to chat with somebody, don't be shy, just dm me, I'll send you resources.
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You know you don't have to feel obligated to work with me, but I will.
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I do care about people's mental health, so I'll definitely send you resources.
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So thank you so much.
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Thank you for being here.
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It's an honor to have you.
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I'm looking forward to us working together.
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I love your energy to feel that you embody the work that you do, because you've been through it and you know right away when somebody's walked the path.
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So thank you so much.
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Thank you for that.
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Yeah, thank you for having me here and thank you everyone for listening my pleasure.