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Hey everyone, and welcome back to Process the Purpose Podcast.
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It's your girl, Crystal B.
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And I know it has been a while.
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I have not been on here since May 2024.
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Season one did end in 2024, and honestly, I couldn't think of a better way to begin season two than with something God has been pressing on my heart.
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Not a strategy, not a conference, not a business goal, not a platform, but a question.
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How bad do you want God?
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Now, before you answer too quickly, I want you to really sit with that.
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Because many of us would say we love God.
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Many of us would say he's first in our lives.
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And many of us would say he's our everything.
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But if we looked at our calendars, our schedules, our priorities, our screen time, our worries, and the things we give our attention to, would our lives agree with our words?
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Love isn't just revealed by what we say, love is revealed by what we prioritize.
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And I don't believe most believers have a love problem.
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I think we have a priority problem.
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I think we have a distraction problem.
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I think we have a consistency problem.
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Also, I think we have a capacity problem.
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Because somewhere along the way, we've learned how to squeeze God into our lives.
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We'll give him a little 15 minutes.
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We'll give him whatever is left over.
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We can pray on our way to work.
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We'll listen to a sermon while doing laundry.
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And while there's literally nothing wrong with any of those things, I do wonder, what if God is asking for more?
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Not because he's controlling, not because he's needy, but because relationship requires intentionality.
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And here's the question I have been wrestling with.
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What if God isn't asking you to fit him into your day?
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What if he's asking you to make him the day?
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What if he isn't an appointment?
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What if he is actually the agenda?
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What if he isn't another thing on your to-do list?
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But what if God is actually the list?
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Sometimes we make God an inconvenience to the plans we created without him.
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And then we tell him we don't have time.
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But did God tell you that?
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Or did you determine that based on your own strength and your own capacity?
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Maybe God never called you to carry everything you're carrying.
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Maybe you're exhausted because you're trying to maintain a life God never instructed you to build.
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Maybe you have been asking God to bless your plans while He's asking you to surrender them to Him.
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Maybe your prayer isn't, Lord, help me fit you into my schedule.
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Maybe your prayer is, Lord, expand my capacity.
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Teach me how to prioritize you, God.
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Tell me how to steward my time.
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Teach me how to say no.
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Teach me how to slow down.
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There's a song, Slow Me Down.
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Y'all need to listen to that.
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God, teach me how to make room for you.
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Because I don't want you to feel like an inconvenience.
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I don't want you to get my leftovers.
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God, you deserve more than that.
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I want you to have first place.
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Matthew 6 33 says, but seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added unto you.
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Notice what Jesus didn't say.
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He didn't say fit me in when you have time.
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He didn't say give me whatever is left.
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He didn't say, come to me after you've exhausted yourself trying to do everything on your own.
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No.
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He said, seek first, not second, not seek convenience, not seek me after you've consulted everybody else.
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Seek first.
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When God comes first, everything else finds its proper place.
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Now it may not be easy, it may not be faster, but it is in order.
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In order, right?
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We have put God into the day.
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We fit him in.
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So which means you're out of order.
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Now I wonder how many of us spent years asking God to bless what we have built without first asking him what he wanted to build through us.
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How many times have we said, Lord, bless my plans?
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And perhaps the better prayer is, Lord, reveal your plans.
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Now, I don't want y'all to think I'm over here on some high horse and I'm like, yep, I'm better.
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I'm this, I'm that.
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It's not that at all.
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This message I am sharing today, it was born out of the hardest seasons of my life.
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And I'll say one of the hardest seasons.
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Because if you've been following and listening, if you've had my previous book, you know what I've been, what I have gone through.
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Now in 2024, I lost two close friends within weeks of each other.
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And when I say weeks, I mean literally five weeks and six days.
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I was grieving, I was hurting.
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I was trying to process heartbreak while still showing up for my family, showing up in ministry and in life.
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And if you ever experience grief, then you know the temptation to simply survive, to stay busy, to distract yourself, to numb the pain.
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But in the middle of my grief, God interrupted me.
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And I heard him clearly.
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There was no confusion about what he was asking of me.
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The instruction was simple, but it felt impossible.
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Like literally impossible.
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Y'all, God said to me, I need you to read the entire Bible in 52 days.
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And before y'all think I was jumping up and shouting and running around the house and like, yeah, God, let's go.
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Yes, Lord, use uh-uh.
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I ain't said none of that.
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Not there, none of that.
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I said, God, I can't do that.
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I don't know who you're talking to, but that ain't me.
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And almost immediately, God checked me.
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Not in condemnation, not in shame, but in love.
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And I heard him clear as day as I'm talking to you.
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He said, if you can watch eight seasons of a TV show in three weeks, you can read the Bible in 52 days.
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Woo, y'all.
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That was the yank up I never knew I needed.
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Okay.
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He he got me by the collar, snatched me up, probably snatched my edges too with that one.
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And sometimes God loves us too much to let us keep using excuses that keep us from experiencing him.
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And in that moment, God exposed something in me.
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It was never about time.
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It was never about capacity.
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It was never about whether I could.
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It was about priority.
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It was about hunger.
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It was about what I truly desired.
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Somehow we always find time for what matters to us.
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Like how I was binge watching those shows, because I really did.
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We find time to scroll.
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We find time to binge.
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We find time for everybody else's needs.
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We find time for worry.
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We find time for distractions.
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But when it comes to God, we often give him what is left.
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And I think God was lovingly showing me that the issue wasn't whether I had time.
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The issue was what had my attention.
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You see, whatever has your attention eventually shapes your affection.
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And whatever shapes your affection eventually influences your actions.
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Now, family, that question changed my life.
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Because the issue was never time.
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The issue was appetite.
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God wasn't asking me, can you do it?
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He was asking me, do you want me badly enough to reorder your life around me?
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And that's really the question behind this entire journey.
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How bad do you want God?
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Because what I thought was impossible became an invitation.
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And what I thought was an assignment became a lifeline.
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I never knew I needed.
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The issue was whether I believed he could sustain what he had instructed.
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And isn't that just like us?
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God says to start the business.
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God says forgive.
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God, I can't do that.
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God says write the book.
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Oh, God, I don't write a book.
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God says step out on faith.
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I don't know.
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God says, trust me.
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And our first response is literally, God, I can't.
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Not because we don't love him.
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Not because we don't want to obey him.
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But because we're measuring his instructions against our own strength.
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We're measuring his assignment against our own capacity.
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We're looking at what he said through the lens of what we think we can do.
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But John 15, 5 reminds us: I am the vine, you are the branches.
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If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit.
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Apart from me, you can do nothing.
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God would never give you an assignment that doesn't require him.
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I'm going to say that again.
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God will never give you an assignment that doesn't require him.
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If I could do it on my own strength, I wouldn't need his.
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If I could sustain it in my own power, I wouldn't need his grace.
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If I could accomplish it on my own, I wouldn't need his presence.
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And what I discovered during those 52 days that changed my life, God wasn't trying to take something from me.
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He was trying to sustain me.
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He wasn't trying to burden me.
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He was trying to heal me.
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Y'all, I told you I was in one of the darkest seasons of my life.
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He wasn't asking for my attention because he was needy.
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God was asking because he knew I needed him more than I realized.
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I thought I needed answers.
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I thought I needed understanding.
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I thought I needed God to explain why.
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But what I really needed was him.
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Sometimes God won't answer every question, but he'll give you his presence.
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And his presence will sustain what answers cannot.
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Looking back, I thought God was asking me to read the Bible.
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But what I now realize is that God was inviting me to survive differently.
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My whole life I was in survival mode.
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And God is like, no, it's different now.
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What I thought was an assignment became a lifeline.
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I wasn't reading the Bible to complete a challenge.
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I was reading because I needed somewhere to put my pain.
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And God gave me an assignment in the middle of my grief because he knew that if I stayed in his presence, grief would not become my identity.
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In 2024, grief found me, but so did God.
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And here's what amazes me.
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What God asked of me in 2024 wasn't just for me.
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It never was.
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Because God is never wasteful.
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And what began as an assignment in my grief became a movement in 2026.
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By the grace of God and through simple obedience, and I ain't gonna say simple, listen, my obedience be fire.
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Okay, I might give a little pushback, but I be obedient.
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But I had the privilege of leading some of my church members, 21 of us, including myself, I read it again, y'all, through reading the entire Bible in 52 days just this year.
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21 people, 21 yeses, 21 people saying, I want more of God.
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And let me say this: when God gave me the dates to do this, I didn't realize that when we came up on our last week, it was literally leading us right into Easter weekend or resurrection weekend, right?
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So we're literally reading the crucifixion and how raw and deep that was.
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So when our pastor preached that Sunday, like we were in it and it just hit differently.
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I didn't make that up.
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I didn't know when Easter was.
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That was the Lord.
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So I'm like, dang God, like this really you you really be on it, right?
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So when we think it's us, it's not us, it is purely God, and it was amazing.
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So the people that said yes, they wanted more of God, they showed up for God.
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Our youngest was 15 years old, our second youngest was 20 years old.
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They wanted more of God.
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Now, let me be clear.
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All this that God gave me wasn't because I had some incredible strategy, it wasn't because I had extraordinary discipline.
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Again, I wasn't disciplined before.
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Because what that's not, I was disciplined to an extent, right?
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This wasn't because I had all the answers, but it was because of God's clear instruction and what he instructed, he sustained.
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What God spoke in 2024 didn't stop with me.
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There was no book, there was no roadmap.
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I just did what I did in 2024, did that in 2026.
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There was no grand plan, there was just obedience.
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There was just a group of hungry people saying yes to God.
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And what was a blessing to witness was watching God do for others what he had first done in me.
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There were people grieving in the group.
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There were people who who wanted to know more of God but didn't know where to start.
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Some one got baptized.
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The grief for another dwindled down because she was seeking God.
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So what began as an assignment became multiplication.
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This journey was never my idea.
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I don't sign up for stuff.
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No, thank you.
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But I'm gonna do it.
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This is an invitation.
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This is God's invitation, and I believe that's what God is doing with all of us.
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He is calling us deeper, he's calling us higher, he's calling us to more, no more striving, not more performing, not more religion.
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Been there, done that, but it is more relationship.
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At the end of the day, that's what this has always been about.
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Relationship.
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And how do you build a relationship with somebody you don't spend time with?
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How do you know what he loves if you never sit with him?
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How do you know what grieves his heart if you've never gotten to know his heart?
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How do you know what he values, what he desires, what he promises, what he requires?
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You build by getting to know him.
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Relationships are built in proximity.
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Relationships are built through conversation.
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How do you build relationships you ain't talking to him?
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Relationships are built through consistency, not on Monday, not on Wednesday, every day.
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Relationships are built by spending time together.
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Jeremiah 29, 13 says, You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all of your heart.
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Not because God is hiding from us, but because he desires to be known.
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God isn't calling us to build bigger platforms, he's calling us to build deeper intimacy.
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Before God gives us, excuse me, before God gives us influence, he desires relationship.
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Before he gives us assignments, he desires intimacy.
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And maybe the greatest thing we could ever build isn't a business, isn't a ministry, isn't a platform.
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Maybe the greatest thing we could ever build is a relationship with him.
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How can we represent someone we don't know?
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I couldn't get on my platform and talk about God if I don't even know who he is.
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And I would never pretend.
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How can we build for someone whose heart we've never taken time to understand?
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You build by getting to know him.
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And the beautiful thing is this God isn't making this complicated.
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Seek me, know me.
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I know what the world is saying.
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Forget the world.
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Seek me, walk with me, abide in me.
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And I truly believe that that is literally what he's inviting us into.
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Not information, not performance, not perfection, you know, online.
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Everybody won't be perfect.
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Uh-uh.
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Those are highlight reels.
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Nobody is perfect.
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God is wanting relationship.
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If you grew up in old school church like I did, it was all about performance and and prosperity.
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And I didn't know who God was.
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I didn't know who he was until I got older.
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Before God wants your platform, He He wants your presence.
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Before He wants your works, He wants your worship.
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Are you worshiping God?
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Before He wants what you can do for Him, He wants you.
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And maybe that's what He's been after all along.
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Now maybe that's where some of you are right now.
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Maybe you're grieving.
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Maybe you're tired.
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Maybe you're disappointed.
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And maybe you are spiritually drived.
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You love God.
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But if you're honest, you've been trying to do this walking your own strength.
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You've started reading plans and stopped.
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That was me.
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You promised God you'd do better.
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You felt guilty.
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You've wondered why consistency is so hard.
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Can I encourage you today?
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This isn't about perfection.
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This isn't about religion.
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This isn't about checking boxes.
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It's about relationship.
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One of the foundational scriptures for this journey that I'm on and that you will be on soon too is Hosea 4.6.
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My people are destroyed for lack of knowledge.
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Not because they don't love God, not because they don't understand, not because they don't attend church, but because there's a difference between knowing about God and truly knowing God.
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Again, Jeremiah 29, 13 says, You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all of your heart.
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Psalms 119, 105.
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Your word is a lamp unto my feet and a light unto my path.
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And Joshua 1.8 reminds us to meditate on God's word day and night.
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Now, y'all know people ask me all the time, girl, why 52 days?
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Oh, that's crazy.
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52 days.
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52 days.
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Hear it all the time.
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And my answer is quite simple because that's what God told me.
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And what I love most is God isn't asking for forever.
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He's not.
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I mean, but eventually you will see that this will turn into forever, right?
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But God is simply asking for seven weeks and three days, and I like to break it out that way.
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Think about that.
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We've given Netflix more than 52 days.
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We've given social media more than 52 days.
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We've given worry more than 52 days.
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We've given fear more than 52 days.
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We've given distractions more than 52 days.
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So what might happen if we gave God 52 52 days?
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Or to be exact, seven weeks and three days.
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Not perfect days, not uninterrupted days, not super spiritual days, just surrendered days.
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Maybe your peace is hidden in the pages you've been avoiding.
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Maybe your healing is hidden in the pages you've been avoiding.
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Maybe your answers are hidden in the pages you've been avoiding.
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Maybe your next level of obedience is hidden in the pages you've been avoiding.
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Because I can promise you this Holy Spirit will talk to you as you are reading your word.
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James 1:22 tells us to be doers of the word and not hearers only.
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This journey isn't about information, it's about transformation, it's about moving from belief to bold obedience.
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And after watching God do in me what only He could do, and after having the privilege of leading 21 people, including myself, through the Bible in 52 days, again, like I said, this year, I knew this assignment wasn't meant to stop there.
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I knew this journey wasn't meant to stay with me.
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God actually revealed to me in November.
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Some things he wanted me to do.
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And I am just being obedient to do that.
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And I thank God for my pastors for pouring into me.
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Say that's what God said.
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Let's go.
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Right?
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They don't let me sit back and have excuses.
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No, no, let's go.
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Let's do what God said.
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Right.
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Sometimes, you know, you might have a moment.
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I don't know.
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But I am obedient.
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But it's also great to have amazing pastors.
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Wanted to throw that in there.
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But this journey was meant to be shared, right?
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And so with that, this is why I wrote my new book.
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There's always levels.
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I had to go through a process.
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So my new book is called How Bad Do You Want God?
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52 Days to Break Complacency, Build Discipline, and Move from Belief to Bodobedience.
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I want you to hear my heart.
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And I hope you heard it throughout this whole episode.
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Yes, this book is inviting you to read the Bible in 52 days.
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But it's about so much more than finishing chapters.
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This journey isn't about information.
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Again, it's about transformation.
00:23:28.240 --> 00:23:30.960
It's about moving from belief to boat obedience.
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We can believe a thing and not move, right?
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So now it's time to believe, but then move into that boat obedience and what God has called you to do.
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This is about building discipline.
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This is about breaking complacency.
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As you read the Bible, you're going to see where your discipline is lacking.
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Well, your complacency is just what it is.
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This is about learning the heart of God.
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It's about discovering what he loves, what he values, what he promises.
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And ultimately, it's about relationship.
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When you spend time with someone, you get to know them.
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You learn their voice.
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You learn their heart.
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You learn what matters to them.
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And relationships are built by spending time together.
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So, yes, this book is inviting you to read the Bible in 52 days.
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We have kingdom conversations in there.
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We have journaling prompts.
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It's a whole thing, y'all.
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But I believe if you surrender to the process, you'll discover that God isn't simply asking you to finish a reading plan.
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He's inviting you into transformation.
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He's inviting you into intimacy.
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He's inviting you into deeper relationship.
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And I know that by the end of these seven weeks and three days, you won't just know more scripture.
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You know him more.
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And that's the real goal.
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Information alone doesn't change lives.
00:24:59.600 --> 00:25:01.200
His word does.
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And when his word and his presence meets a willing heart, transformation is inevitable.
00:25:09.360 --> 00:25:14.319
Now, we're going to start this journey officially July 1st, but you don't have to wait on me.
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You don't have to wait for the Facebook group.
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If God is tucking your heart right now, start today.
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Open your Bible today.
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And we're reading in chronological order.
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That's another big thing.
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But say yes today.
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Because delayed obedience is still disobedience.
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Now, if you would like accountability and community, we're beginning again this journey together, July 1st through August 21st.
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That's seven weeks and three days.
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We've created a Facebook community called How Bad Do You Want God?
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Inside the group, we'll have daily check-ins and encouragement and prayer and accountability and community.
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Because let me say this when I did this in 2024, I had accountability partners.
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I knew I cannot do this on my own strength.
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And God placed people in my life that I could reach out to.
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And I reached out to them for 52 days.
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There was a day, it was in the morning.
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I'm like, I'm not gonna do it today.
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I'm not gonna reach out to them, but I did it.
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They reached and I'm like, girl, where you at?
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You went side.
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I'm like, oh, I didn't know you wanted to hear from me for 52 days.
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They're like, absolutely.
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That is accountability.
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Those are my sisters in Christ because they knew that I needed when I asked them, they held me accountable, right?
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I asked them, can you be my accountability partner?
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And they said yes.
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It wasn't a check-in once a week, it was every day I was checking in.
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And the same thing happened in a group that I had.
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So again, we are better together.
00:26:36.079 --> 00:26:41.360
And I know that there is something powerful about pursuing God with other people who are hungry for Him too.
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So again, community matters.
00:26:43.840 --> 00:26:46.559
Now you can grab your copy of my book, How Bad Do You Want God?
00:26:46.720 --> 00:26:48.720
It's on Amazon, Barnes and Noble.
00:26:48.960 --> 00:26:52.240
If you're local and you know me, you can get it from me if I have some with me.
00:26:53.039 --> 00:26:55.120
But grab your copy and be ready.
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But most importantly, be ready.
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Get your Bibles.
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Everything is there.
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Because for seven weeks and three days, God is extending an invitation.
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Not because he wants something from you, but be what?
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Because he wants something for you.
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And maybe the greatest question you'll answer this year isn't about your career or your finances or your goals.
00:27:18.720 --> 00:27:24.880
Maybe the greatest question you'll answer this year is this how bad do you want God?
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And remember, what he instructed, he sustained.
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In 2024, grief found me.
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In 2026, purpose multiplied.
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And through it all, God remained faithful.
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What God what God starts, he finishes.
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What he instructs, he sustains.
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And what he promises, he fulfills.
00:27:51.840 --> 00:27:53.680
Jesus had it right all along.
00:27:53.920 --> 00:27:59.680
Seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added unto you.
00:27:59.920 --> 00:28:06.880
Seek first, not when it's convenient, not when you have extra time, not after everything else is done.
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Seek first, not perfection, not performance, just priority.
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For seven weeks and three days, God is inviting you to read his word.
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But through his word, he's inviting you to know him.
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Relationship, period.
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So if you say yes to these next 52 days, you won't leave the same way you came in.
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His word changes us, his presence transforms us.
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What begins as an assignment can become a lifeline.
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Just ask me.
00:28:46.799 --> 00:29:00.720
And maybe, just maybe, the thing you've been searching for, the peace you've been praying for, the answers you've been logging for, and the relationship you've been neglecting are all found in the same place.
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His presence.
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This is Crystal B, and you've been listening to Process the Purpose Podcast.
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Welcome back.
00:29:10.480 --> 00:29:11.759
I'm so excited.
00:29:12.000 --> 00:29:18.319
Until next time, sometimes the process is uncomfortable, sometimes the process stretches you.
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Sometimes the process requires surrender, but purpose is always found in its presence.
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Love y'all.
00:29:28.160 --> 00:29:29.279
Fire episode.
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Oh my gosh.
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Yes.
00:29:32.720 --> 00:29:33.360
Bye.