Solo Session: Your PhD Does Not Have To Lead Every Chat

WEBVTT
00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:10.000
Hello students and graduates, welcome to PhD Lounge, the podcast of late-night talks in which PhDs have a drink and talk about their research topics.
00:00:10.240 --> 00:00:13.039
You're at a coffee shop sitting with a group of friends.
00:00:13.199 --> 00:00:20.079
You're the only PhD candidate, while your friends have masters, are undergraduates and working full-time.
00:00:20.239 --> 00:00:23.920
The kind runner brings tea and coffee and you pick yours.
00:00:24.160 --> 00:00:31.039
While chatting about whatever comes into their minds, then you bring all the things about your PhD.
00:00:31.280 --> 00:00:36.960
Your friends already know of how busy you are and the difficulty of scheduling hangouts.
00:00:37.200 --> 00:00:43.520
But they might feel upset with you if you always talk about your PhD even if you don't realize it.
00:00:43.679 --> 00:00:49.039
Or you might even realize it, and it's totally normal to find yourself in that situation.
00:00:49.359 --> 00:01:00.079
I chatted in previous solo sessions about finding balance between your PhD and your social life and why it is helpful to boost your productivity.
00:01:00.399 --> 00:01:11.599
However, have you ever thought about why talking about your PhD outside your research hours may even harm yourself and those around you?
00:01:11.840 --> 00:01:20.000
I'm not saying that you shouldn't share it with people who aren't PhDs, because I've done that myself with many people.
00:01:20.480 --> 00:01:30.079
But it's also important to think about an opportunity when you feel it's the right time to share your PhD experience.
00:01:30.640 --> 00:01:43.760
In this late night talk, I share three reasons why you bring your PhD constantly in conversations with your friends where the atmosphere you're in may not be the occasion for that.
00:01:44.159 --> 00:01:44.719
1.
00:01:45.200 --> 00:01:46.319
Perfectionism.
00:01:46.560 --> 00:01:57.519
Most PhDs fall into this trap where their dissertation must be tailored with high standards to become the perfect research to be presented to an examining board.
00:01:57.760 --> 00:02:07.680
If there's any mistake, such as grammar and spelling, research weaknesses or receiving feedback, PhDs think that they aren't good enough.
00:02:08.000 --> 00:02:17.039
Thinking about perfectionism can affect your mental health and going into a looping cycle where you won't even pass the first drafts.
00:02:17.360 --> 00:02:31.599
This can also be brought about when chatting with your friends because they will ignore you even if they validate you as a sign of you're in control of your thesis when you're actually not.
00:02:32.400 --> 00:02:32.879
2.
00:02:33.360 --> 00:02:34.879
Academic culture.
00:02:35.120 --> 00:02:41.919
First of all, the shift from undergraduate to a master's and then to a PhD is up the ante.
00:02:42.400 --> 00:02:51.520
It's your first piece of independent research, and the academic world is what you consume and express it in your social life.
00:02:51.840 --> 00:02:58.639
Academic pressure and overwork under a deadline is up to the roof and you can't stop thinking about it.
00:02:58.800 --> 00:03:04.000
And then you drop off your well-being activities to keep up with academic culture.
00:03:04.400 --> 00:03:17.439
Side effect that costs psychological distress and eventually the deterioration of your social circle of friends if you over-explain your academic world.
00:03:17.919 --> 00:03:20.560
And three, in curiosity.
00:03:20.879 --> 00:03:32.879
This is a common one because unconsciously we forget to be curious about other things our friends could share in conversations like sports, films, or dating.
00:03:33.360 --> 00:03:47.520
PhDs not showing curiosity to talk about other things other than their research could create distance, become a statistical, and the potential of being uninvited to other social opportunities.
00:03:47.840 --> 00:04:00.800
Bringing your PhD topic to your social life has become normalized since it consumes most of our 8 or 9 research hours throughout the week and often carries it during the weekends.
00:04:01.120 --> 00:04:13.919
While it's difficult to steer away from it when you speak with friends, there are solutions that might be beneficial to you by sharing summaries of it and being open-minded to other things.
00:04:14.319 --> 00:04:28.079
Also, your university has social opportunities for you and your doctoral peers, where they announce plenty of activities to meet and form new groups of friends.
00:04:28.480 --> 00:04:39.920
So next time you're at a coffee shop with your friends, detox yourself from your dissertation, share other insights of your life, and become curious to others.
00:04:40.160 --> 00:04:45.920
And that will help fulfill the rest of your PhD progress.
00:04:46.560 --> 00:04:52.399
Thank you all for tuning in, share it with a friend, and it's been a pleasure.