Move From Reactor to Creator With Ly Smith

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Welcome to the Perfect Life Awakening Show, hosted by Royce Morales.
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Royce has been a transformational facilitator, teaching groundbreaking, spiritually-based courses
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for more than four decades. She is the author of
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three books about her teachings. Join Royce as she takes
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you on a journey into how to live your best life.
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and find your true purpose through discovering the origins of subconscious,
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disempowering notions, and releasing them. She talks with experts and
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inspiring people just like you who learned to trust their
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intuitive inner wisdom, which led to life-changing shifts. Today, her
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guests live an empowered existence and are helping change the
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world to a higher consciousness place based on truth and love.
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You deserve to awaken to, align with, and embody your
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true self and live a life filled with love. Transform
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yourself from triggered to empowered and create your perfect life.
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Here is your host, Royce Morales.
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Hello, welcome everyone. I'm so glad you're here. And I'm
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so glad to be able to be talking to everybody
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about such an important topic, moving from reactor to creator,
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which is what we're all trying to do on some level.
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And there's so many things that get in the way
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of all that. And we're not even conscious of most
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of them. Probably the biggest thing that gets in the
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way is all of those things that we say to ourselves,
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the self-talk, the beliefs, the fears, the programming, all of
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that stuff, things like, oh, I can't do that, or
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only an expert can do that, or I wasn't trained,
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or I'm too stupid, or probably the big one is
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I don't deserve that success, I don't deserve to do that.
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Or imposter syndrome, I'm sure you guys are familiar with
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that term nowadays. So these notions go deep and my
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guest today discovered that you can rewire.
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All that stuff.
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You know, it's all in there and it's up to
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us to rewire it. So she's going to talk about
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that today. So let me tell you a little bit
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about Lee Smith. For three years, she's fought depression and
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that's a long time to be depressed for sure. And
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then she discovered that the loudest thing keeping her stuck
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was not her circumstance, but it was her self-talk. It
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was the stuff she was saying to herself. And all
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of those beliefs and fears and programming and all that
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stuff was just running her life. And I think that
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to some degree, all of us have that, you know,
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whether we're conscious of.
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It or not.
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And rewiring all that changed everything in her life. And
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she's now on a mission to to help other high-achieving women,
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and I would think probably men too, to achieve that.
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So she has 30 years, and I'll just read this
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from my notes because it's a lot. She has 30
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years of personal development research. She's the creator of the CANDY, C-A-N-D-Y, method,
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which she will tell us about. She founded the Upcycle
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Coaching Foundation, and is a seven-time international best-selling author.
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So awesome.
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She gives keynote speeches and workshops, and she doesn't just inspire,
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but she helps shift people in the audience permanently. So
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that's really very cool. And of course, she helps people
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move from reactor to creator, from fear to empowerment, as
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I like to say. And I love this sentence. She
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says that she helps rewrite the inner narrative, silence the
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inner critic, and step boldly into your genius, gifts, and greatness.
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So welcome, Lee. I'm so glad you're here.
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Thank you so much, Royce. I'm glad to be here, too.
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And I love the opportunity to talk about all things
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related to self-talk. So this is going to be a
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wonderful time together. Yeah, yeah.
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So tell us your story. How did you start with this?
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Where did it come from? Tell us everything about yourself.
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Yeah, yeah. Oh, gosh. Well, I've been on the planet
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for quite some time, over half a century. So there's
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a lot to tell. But no, I'm not going into
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all of those details. But I will take all of
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us back to seven-year-old me, because I am the oldest
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of three siblings. And I got... many years of entertaining
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myself before my two brothers came along. And one of
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the things that I found fascinating was sitting in front
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of a mirror. It wasn't this mirror necessarily, but sitting
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in front of a mirror and studying what my looks were.
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Because Royce, I can see your beautiful face when I
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look at you and everybody else around me, right? But
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to look at my own face You can't really pop
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your own eyes out to look at yourself, right? It's
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only when we look at ourselves in the mirror or
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in a picture that we go, oh, that's what I
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look like. Is this what everybody sees when they look
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at me? And as I was entertaining myself in that fashion,
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an interesting thing happened where my face started morphing and
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I saw my dad's face. And when that happened, I
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heard my dad's voice. And I heard the things that
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my dad would typically say to me, which were things like, Lee,
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you're so smart. Lee, you're such a little leader. Lee,
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you can do anything that you put your mind to.
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And I thought, oh, well, that was interesting. And now
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I wonder if I could see dad, can I see mom?
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And so I closed my eyes and shook it off.
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And I looked at the mirror again and this time
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intentionally went looking for my mom's face. And there she appeared.
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And sure enough, I heard her voice too. Now, my
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mom is definitely loving, but she is her classic tiger
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Asian mom. So her voice came across as, when are
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you going to be good enough? Why can't you be
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like so-and-so? You should know better. And I was like, oh, okay. Yep.
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There's mom's voice. And those are the things that mom
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says to me. And then I got really curious, Royce.
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I wondered, do I have a voice? because it was
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something I hadn't paid attention to before. So I shook
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off the image of my mom, and I opened my
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eyes again, and then I looked at myself, and I
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was just sitting there in that stillness and quiet, and
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then sure enough, I heard it, my inner voice. And
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the things that I was saying to myself was, Lee,
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you are lovable. Lee, you are capable. You are such
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a good friend. You are so much fun. And I thought, oh.
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I like my voice. I like the sound of my
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voice and I like the things that I'm saying to myself.
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So I chose that day, all these days forward, to
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listen to my voice. And I get to work with
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these amazing women now and ask them, whose voice are
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you listening to? If you are in a C-suite leadership position,
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who is running as the CEO in the boardroom of
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your mind? Is it an inherited voice? Maybe it's a parent.
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It might be another adult's voice who was a major
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influence in your life. Or it could be your own.
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I hope it is your own. And fast forward years
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later to about 10 years ago, that was when I
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became self-aware of the depression that I had been enduring.
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And when I went down the rabbit hole of self-reflection
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in that, I recognized, oh my gosh, I have been
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in this depression for three-ish years. Wow, how did I
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not know this this whole time? And the majority of
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that was because I would put on a smile for
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everybody and even myself in the mirror. I was in
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the midst of my chapter as a stay-at-home mom, which
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was a desire in my heart for such a long time.
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And here I was in the fruition of it. And
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the initial years were amazing. They were wonderful. Why? Because
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I was present as I was doing all the things.
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But you go 15 years into this journey, and for
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all the moms in the audience who can relate, especially
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if you're a stay-at-home mom, where we're doing the never
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ending cycles of laundry and dishes and cooking and cleaning
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and carpooling, the meal planning, all of those things that
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repeat again and again, I lost being present. So I
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lost being present even to myself. And that's where a
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lot of factors came into play that triggered the depression.
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But then here I am on a 23 day vacation
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with my family in Hawaii. And not just on one island,
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we hit the four major islands across those 23 days.
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And if you haven't taken yourself to Hawaii yet, I totally,
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totally say get it on your bucket list, check it off,
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make it happen. So here we were for 23 days,
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which meant, Royce, that we had 22 incredible sunsets. And
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it was on one of those sunsets. that I was
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standing there surrounded by the people that I love. I'm
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in this perfect image of paradise, a slice of heaven,
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if you will. And I'm standing there on the shore
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as the breeze caressing my face and waves are just
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very softly at my feet. And I'm looking out and
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I'm thinking, 23 days, who does that? I'm thinking, I'm
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doing something most people don't even do on one island,
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even once in their lifetime. I'm thinking, I'm surrounded by
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the people that I love the most. I'm thinking and
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I'm thinking and I'm thinking and then I catch, I
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catch myself thinking, I'm only thinking, where's the feeling that
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comes with this moment right now? There wasn't happiness. There
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wasn't joy. There wasn't excitement. There wasn't peace. There wasn't
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even sadness or frustration or disappointment or any of that.
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There was literally no feeling. And so in that moment,
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I thought, what is happening right now? Who am I?
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And I thought, oh gosh, all of these things that
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have been happening in my life, I don't know who
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I am anymore. Who is Lee Smith? And I had
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this moment of seeing myself as this human being covered
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in what I call just, that they were like dust particles.
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Imagine being caught in your hair and I'm pulling them out.
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I am just a stay-at-home mom. I am just a wife.
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I am just a sister. I am just a daughter.
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I am just a friend. I am just this shell
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of a woman who no longer knows who she is.
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And as I was having this ongoing self-talk conversation in
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my mind, my family had no idea this was happening
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inside of me. I thought, I'm not feeling this moment.
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I'm not okay with that. I don't know who I am.
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I'm not okay with that. This can't go on. Another moment.
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I am drawing a line in the proverbial sand and
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I am recognizing there's a brand new year coming around
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right around the corner. And when I get home after
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the new year, I don't care how selfish it seems
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to anyone else. I am going on a quest to
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figure out who is Lee Smith. And I pose the
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question to you, who are you without your titles, without
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your labels? when you are this beautiful, amazing, brilliant human
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looking at yourself in your mirror, and if you can
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make that eye contact with yourself, who are you looking at?
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Who do you see? And it was in that process, Royce,
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that I recognized I had been reacting to my life.
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Like I said, I was no longer present, so I
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was reacting to the expectations, the demands, the day-to-day tasks,
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the mundane, the day-to-day life that was happening, instead of
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really creating what is it that I wanted for myself,
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I was just existing and going through the motions. And
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in that awakening, and I love the name of his show,
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Perfect Life Awakening, in that awakening in myself, I said,
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I'm going to create what I want my life to
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look like. I envisioned it as a little girl. I
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envisioned it in high school, in my college days. But
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now that I was living it, I was no longer envisioning.
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And so I became that reactor. And when I studied further,
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taking myself out of that depression, I realized, oh, there's
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this interesting framework that I have here. Because what I've
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learned from my thought leaders that I study from Tony
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Robbins being my first to to Brendan Burchard, Zig Ziglar,
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Bob Proctor, Jim Rohn, John Maxwell, all these amazing greats.
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And then when the women came along from Brene Brown
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to Marie Forleo, Mel Robbins, some of my favorite women,
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I recognize one of the principles that they teach is
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that to take yourself to another level or to fully
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come alive in your own life is to recognize that
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we have this amazing ability to choose. And we can
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choose to react to life, or we can choose our
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response in any given moment, in any situation, whether it's
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internal or external. And it's in that power of choice
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we can choose to be optimist or pessimist, to be
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victim or victor, to stay in trauma, or we can
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triumph over that. to stay in that mess or take
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that mess and convert it into a beautiful message. So
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we always have this power of choice. And that allowed
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me to create what I call my reactor to creator framework.
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But yeah, it came from initially as a child, that
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moment in front of the mirror and choosing my voice
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and letting that voice and those positive words carry me
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through my life and the many adventures that I've had.
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And then that awakening, if you will, out of that
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depression and turning that into direction with intention and purpose.
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The lessons that I learned from that allow me to
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do what I do now. It formed the candy method.
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And that is what I teach out in the world
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to help women and some men have that transformation to
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come into their own perfect life awakening, if you will.
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Wow.
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What a great story. I just because, you know, the
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work that I do goes really deep. And I find
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that so many times people have the attitude of, oh,
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I'll just shift it and I'll just choose and I'll
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just see things in a positive light. But how do
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you balance that with suppressing your anger, suppressing your sadness,
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suppressing your hopelessness? Because You know, I call it spiritual bypassing.
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I know that's a phrase that people use nowadays, but
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it's so easy to get caught up in, oh, I'll
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just think positive, you know, and you just ignore that
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other stuff, which is eventually going to come out in
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some way, whether physically or whatever. But how do you
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balance those two in your work?
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Yes, absolutely. Well, understanding several things. Number one, we have
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60 to 80,000 thoughts that pass through our brain day
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in and day out. Our brain is taking in information
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from all of our senses. And then we have our unconscious,
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subconscious level of thinking. And then we have our our
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cognitive conscious of thinking. And the conscious part is such
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a small percent. And we have, like I said, 60
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to 80,000 thoughts, but we really have 128 bits of
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information that we process consciously. And if we're not paying
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attention to that, which so often we're not, then 80%
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Or 95% of the thoughts that we're thinking today are
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the same ones that we're thinking yesterday and the day
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before that and the day before that. So if we're
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not changing that at all, it's going to repeat tomorrow,
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the day after that and the day after that. And
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if 85% of those thoughts are more in the negative
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resonance versus the positive resonance, well, then we might be
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staying in misery, in frustration, in disappointment, in a lower resonance.
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So then when we do become conscious, Royce, of something
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that's angered and it's a feeling and or a thought
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process that we typically do suppress or I call it
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brushing under the carpet. I'll just deal with that later. No,
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because as you said, and this is true, that that
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later can take place somewhere in your body. And this
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is where we get dis-ease because we're stuffing it away
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when really what we want to do is take advantage
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of this amazing organ that we call the brain, where
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it has neuroplasticity, which means we can rewire, we can
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reprogram the brain. I call it rewriting, reframe, rewire. And
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once we catch that thought and that feeling that we
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no longer want, first we have to acknowledge it. Because
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to suppress it, it's not dealing with it. And we
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will sabotage ourselves in some way. It can show up
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in our productivity. It can show up in our health.
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It can express itself in our relationships, whether it's with
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ourselves or anybody else in our sphere of influence. And
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it will.
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Either blow up massively or little by little, it will
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eat away at that quality of life on all of
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those aspects. So when we do catch that thought and
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we catch that feeling, identifying it in the best way possible,
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and sometimes our vocabulary may seem limited, that's okay. Typically,
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what happens is when we have that wave of emotion
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it's about 90 seconds and it's like a literal if
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you if you imagine an ocean you know the the
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water builds up and it forms the wave but it
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doesn't last forever it flattens out right and So that
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can be about 90 seconds. So when we can catch
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that wave, identify it and go, oh, I see that
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you're here. Okay. And then that's where we entertain that
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power of choice. What do I want to do with
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this feeling? Do I want to say, yeah, I'm angry
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in the moment.
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Okay.
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Well, what really made me angry? Is there an underlying
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issue that I'm not getting attention to? Or is this
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just my heat of the moment reaction? Because sometimes it is.
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And then when we let it subside after the 90 seconds, go, oh, okay, yeah,
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that just really irritated me. Or that person cut me
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off in traffic.
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Grr.
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Okay, yes, I'm angry and frustrated about that. Or, oh,
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this email came in and I really don't want to
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address this situation right now. It's a hard conversation, but
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I need to. Okay, what are the words? And the
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feeling I'm frustrated with it. Again, acknowledge that. the feeling
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or that moment that's happening, and it will tend to dissipate.
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And then sometimes there is a feeling and or thought
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that we really do want to give more attention to.
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I need to do something about this. For those of
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us who are wanting to be speakers and that opportunity
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to grab the mic, there might be all that apprehension
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and the adrenaline rush that comes through because we're feeling
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that sense of fear. And it's like, oh, I'm afraid
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of looking stupid. I'm afraid of messing up. I'm afraid
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people aren't going to like what I have to say.
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I'm afraid nobody's going to show up and be in
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the room to hear me. And so that was like, oh,
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I have that fear. And oh, okay, the fear is
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there because I care about this. I do believe that
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I am bringing something of value and it matters and
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it's important. And I want it to be received well.
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And so now I have the fears around that. Okay,
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so what do I want to do about that? And
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that's where we can lean into the tools that I
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use with the candy method to really put that into
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proper perspectives. So we're not doing the little molehill blowing
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up into a mountain when really that's all false narratives.
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Meaning that we're saying things to ourselves that are not
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in alignment with who we truly are and not in
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alignment with who we're meant to be and how we're
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meant to show up. And then we also want to
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be careful on the other end of where you said, hey,
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we're just going to say something positive to ourselves because
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there is a thing called toxic positivity. Where it's just
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pouring positivity into yourself. And you're like, well, why aren't
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things working out for me? I'm thinking positively. I'm thinking
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I'm victorious. And I'm thinking I'm a millionaire. And it's
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still not showing up. And it's because we are taking
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this who we are now and seeing those positive things.
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But it's based on our past versus aligning with what
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I call our future successful self. and borrowing the belief
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of her in that moment, which is an exercise that
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our finest athletes or our finest highest performers will do.
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Say like Oprah Winfrey or your gold medalist Olympians, and
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they have this process of imagining themselves in that best
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scenario where they've done all the things that they want
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to do. Well, when you do that, you believe differently
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about yourself in that moment. And when you can engage
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and embody all the senses there, and then talk about
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the self-talk that's happening in that moment, bring that future
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self-talk into the present, that is an actual positivity that
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does not become toxic. And so we want to do things,
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we want to implement correctly the tools and the resources
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and the methodologies so that they do work. Because as
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with most things, there's a right way and there's a
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wrong way. A hammer is just a hammer. It's a tool, right?
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And there's a way to use it correctly and there's
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a way to use it incorrectly. And it's not a,
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we think, oh, it's just a bad tool. It's like, well,
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but did you use it the right way? So we
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have to bring all of that into perspective and make
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that matter. And when we do that, that's where we
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can change our self-talking and change our results.
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I have to comment on something that you said that
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I think is so important, really, to emphasize this. When
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you were saying that the real intention behind what you're
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doing is, I really want to help people, you know,
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and to focus in on that. And yeah, I've got
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all these fears and beliefs and programs saying I can't
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do it and whatever, but my real intention is is
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to get it out there and help people. And I
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thought that was just so important to, to kind of
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shift your focus. You know, it's easy to forget that
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it's like, Oh, you know, I'm struggling and they're not
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hearing me not doing this instead of, but what is
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my real intention? And I find that people oftentimes don't
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have a focus, pure intention, you know, from their ego
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or coming from, their need to prove something to their
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mother or whatever it is, you know.
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Right.
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That impure intention is what gets put across on an
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energetic level. And that messes things up too.
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Right.
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So we need to take a bit of a break.
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And I'm talking with Lee Smith. And I would love
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for you to talk more about your candy method. That
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00:26:01.539 --> 00:26:04.359
just sounds so intriguing. And we'll get into a little
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bit more detail and maybe even have you Because I
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read on your website you did that little quiz or that,
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you know, how to say something in a positive way
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versus a negative way.
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Yes.
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Very profound because it's just a simple little shift that
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can make all the difference. So we'll be right back
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and talk about all of that fun stuff.
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Do you feel stuck in patterns you can't seem to break?
411
00:26:36.079 --> 00:26:39.359
Do old triggers steal your peace, leaving you frustrated or
412
00:26:39.400 --> 00:26:43.200
doubting your path? What if the real block isn't outside you,
413
00:26:43.619 --> 00:26:48.069
but hidden within? Subconscious fears and long-held beliefs can quietly
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00:26:48.130 --> 00:26:50.990
shape your life, keeping you from the joy and purpose
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00:26:51.009 --> 00:26:55.430
you deserve. For over four decades, Royce Morales has helped
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00:26:55.470 --> 00:26:59.470
thousands uncover and clear those inner barriers. Her Perfect Life
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Awakening program is a spiritually grounded, transformational experience designed to
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online in small, supportive groups, with personal attention and the
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option for private sessions, this work goes deep, gently guiding
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00:27:15.369 --> 00:27:18.470
you back to your true self. It's time to move
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from triggered to empowered. Awaken the life waiting within you
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with Perfect Life Awakening. For more information, visit perfectlifeawakening.com.
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I want to eat, eat, eat apples and bananas. I
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need to eat, eat, eat apples and bananas. Why can't
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444
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Welcome back.
445
00:29:04.410 --> 00:29:08.589
We're talking with Lee Smith and we're talking about rewiring
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those narratives and those false beliefs and all of that
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00:29:14.740 --> 00:29:17.839
stuff that we say to ourselves all the time. Now
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00:29:18.019 --> 00:29:21.880
tell us about the CANDY method. What does the acronym
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stand for?
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Yes, the acronym stands for Clarity, Affirmation, Necessity, Discipline, You.
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And it is the system that supports the Reactor 2
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Creator Framework. So I have a visual that I love
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to share with you on that, Royce, and then we'll
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jump in with that. And I am on that mission
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to transform the Reactor. And like I shared in my story,
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I was a Reactor that day on the beach and
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realizing I had been reacting for quite a number of years.
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That's why I was in the depression. And so a
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reactor in my world might be the woman who is
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overthinking and she calls it planning. She might be reacting
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as a perfectionist, but she's saying, oh, that's just my
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high standards. She might be stuck in procrastination, but she's
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masking it as I'm just waiting to do the right
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thing or I'm waiting for that right moment. She might
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be a people pleaser, Um, but she's masking it as professionalism.
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This is what professionals do. And so that self, uh,
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criticism is disguised as accountability. And so a reactor they're
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reacting to the expectations, the demands that the day-to-day activities,
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and they're going after the things in life that they desire,
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but they are also busy and stressed and overwhelmed. And
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it could be against that inner talk as well. Right.
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And really what they are doing is they're seeing themselves
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stuck like the letter C, which as you see here
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is in the middle of the rest of the letters
475
00:31:09.220 --> 00:31:12.579
of reactor. And so that's what a reactor does. They
476
00:31:12.619 --> 00:31:15.220
see themselves stuck in the middle of all the things.
477
00:31:15.680 --> 00:31:17.859
And what I get to do with my work is say, well,
478
00:31:17.880 --> 00:31:20.359
let's take a moment. Can we take a breather? Can
479
00:31:20.400 --> 00:31:22.819
we take you out from the middle of all the
480
00:31:22.900 --> 00:31:27.049
things so that you can see yourself for who you
481
00:31:27.160 --> 00:31:31.890
really are? That you are more than just any label
482
00:31:31.910 --> 00:31:34.109
that you put on yourself or a title that you
483
00:31:34.170 --> 00:31:38.089
hold or awards that you've earned and recognition and whatnot. Yes,
484
00:31:38.150 --> 00:31:41.500
you are successful, but you're more than that. And you
485
00:31:41.559 --> 00:31:44.720
have what I call the three G's. You have genius
486
00:31:45.200 --> 00:31:50.059
and gifts and greatness within you. And those three G's
487
00:31:50.140 --> 00:31:54.250
make you, you. It's a unique combination that makes Royce
488
00:31:54.269 --> 00:31:57.789
the incredible thought leader that she is. It makes me
489
00:31:58.130 --> 00:32:01.390
the wonderful person that I am. And so your three
490
00:32:01.450 --> 00:32:04.250
G's make you, you. And I help you to see
491
00:32:04.309 --> 00:32:08.630
yourself first instead of in the middle of all those things.
492
00:32:09.049 --> 00:32:13.029
And that's where the magic and the transformation truly happens
493
00:32:13.470 --> 00:32:17.539
because everything else aligns with who you are and who
494
00:32:17.579 --> 00:32:20.569
you are meant to be. You see what is priority,
495
00:32:20.789 --> 00:32:24.410
what truly matters, where you set your boundaries so you
496
00:32:24.450 --> 00:32:26.690
know where to say no and where to say yes
497
00:32:27.089 --> 00:32:31.819
to live your best life. And you become the creator
498
00:32:31.839 --> 00:32:35.140
of your life. So life is no longer happening to you.
499
00:32:35.220 --> 00:32:39.799
It's happening for you. And you are creating the morning,
500
00:32:39.880 --> 00:32:42.849
the way you wake up, the moment your eyes pop open.
501
00:32:43.410 --> 00:32:45.970
the way you set the tone to your day, how
502
00:32:46.069 --> 00:32:49.390
productive you are, the differences that you're making, the things
503
00:32:49.410 --> 00:32:52.490
that you get to do for yourself or for your
504
00:32:52.529 --> 00:32:56.279
business or for your work. And then to go to
505
00:32:56.339 --> 00:33:01.000
bed fulfilled and with peace and sleep away and begin
506
00:33:01.019 --> 00:33:05.400
the next day again with that enthusiasm and excitement. Because Royce,
507
00:33:05.440 --> 00:33:09.109
one of my favorite quotes is from Howard Thurman. And
508
00:33:09.250 --> 00:33:14.680
he says, don't ask what the world needs. ask what
509
00:33:14.720 --> 00:33:20.400
makes you come alive? Because what the world needs is
510
00:33:20.480 --> 00:33:24.930
more people who come alive. And this is what a
511
00:33:25.029 --> 00:33:28.690
creator gets to do. They come alive with that purpose,
512
00:33:28.750 --> 00:33:33.089
with that passion. And then to move anything forward, I
513
00:33:33.430 --> 00:33:37.980
believe as a self-leadership strategist, that that leadership has to
514
00:33:38.019 --> 00:33:41.420
begin with you. How are you leading yourself? And then
515
00:33:41.460 --> 00:33:44.869
that leadership comes back to What is your self-talk? Because
516
00:33:44.910 --> 00:33:49.869
if the self-talk is continuously saying, I'm overwhelmed, I'm busy,
517
00:33:50.349 --> 00:33:56.000
I'm stressed, I'm tired, I'm burned out. How can progress
518
00:33:56.180 --> 00:33:59.799
truly happen? And so when we can take those things
519
00:33:59.839 --> 00:34:03.160
that we typically say to ourselves, and then we can
520
00:34:03.240 --> 00:34:10.840
reframe it into empowering statements, we remove the sabotage. And
521
00:34:10.880 --> 00:34:14.320
we step into that power that belongs to us that
522
00:34:14.500 --> 00:34:20.969
allows us to turn what I love impossible into I'm possible.
523
00:34:21.670 --> 00:34:25.929
It's where we leave our mark. So then reactor to creator,
524
00:34:25.989 --> 00:34:31.639
the difference there is how do you see yourself? And
525
00:34:31.659 --> 00:34:34.019
you can think about letter C. Do I see myself
526
00:34:34.099 --> 00:34:36.360
stuck in the middle of all the things? Or am
527
00:34:36.440 --> 00:34:39.329
I going to take charge here? I'm going to be bold.
528
00:34:39.449 --> 00:34:43.360
I'm going to be courageous. And maybe I don't feel confident,
529
00:34:43.429 --> 00:34:45.800
but I'm going to step out and do the thing
530
00:34:46.159 --> 00:34:49.599
anyway that will either move the needle or needs to
531
00:34:49.639 --> 00:34:53.300
get done. And or, you know, it makes me come alive,
532
00:34:53.820 --> 00:34:57.500
whatever that that happens to be. So the candy is
533
00:34:57.699 --> 00:35:04.179
where we really get to implement that creator state, that clarity,
534
00:35:04.199 --> 00:35:09.690
that Do you know what makes you come alive? Do
535
00:35:09.750 --> 00:35:13.929
you know what makes you happy? Do you know what
536
00:35:13.989 --> 00:35:19.190
brings you joy? What makes you feel fulfilled? The challenge, Royce,
537
00:35:19.230 --> 00:35:23.409
is that as life is happening with us, around us,
538
00:35:23.570 --> 00:35:28.550
inside of us, we may catch ourselves day in, day out,
539
00:35:28.639 --> 00:35:31.199
doing the same things as I mentioned earlier, right? Even
540
00:35:31.260 --> 00:35:33.739
for me as a stay-at-home mom, I got caught up
541
00:35:33.780 --> 00:35:36.159
in that where I was no longer present. And if
542
00:35:36.199 --> 00:35:38.349
you had asked me that day on the beach, well, Lee,
543
00:35:38.389 --> 00:35:41.130
what makes you happy? I would have told you, I
544
00:35:42.030 --> 00:35:46.150
don't know. I can tell you what makes my husband happy.
545
00:35:46.170 --> 00:35:48.469
I can tell you what puts a smile on my
546
00:35:48.530 --> 00:35:52.039
daughter's face. I can tell you what appeases my son.
547
00:35:52.340 --> 00:35:53.199
But for me, I don't.
548
00:35:54.800 --> 00:35:55.039
Know.
549
00:35:57.039 --> 00:35:59.280
So how would I know when I am happy if
550
00:35:59.340 --> 00:36:02.809
I don't know what makes me happy? And then happiness
551
00:36:02.829 --> 00:36:04.869
needs to come from within, right? So we need to
552
00:36:04.909 --> 00:36:08.469
get clear on that. Do you know? Because Royce, if
553
00:36:08.489 --> 00:36:10.150
you and I went out on the street right now
554
00:36:10.590 --> 00:36:13.969
and passersby and we stopped them and we said, hey,
555
00:36:14.469 --> 00:36:17.840
what makes you happy? We would find that 90% of
556
00:36:17.860 --> 00:36:21.320
them would say, I don't know. Or they would tell us, well,
557
00:36:21.639 --> 00:36:24.559
not this and not that and not this and not that.
558
00:36:24.889 --> 00:36:27.530
They would tell us what doesn't make them happy, but
559
00:36:27.570 --> 00:36:31.250
they don't have a clarity of what does make them happy.
560
00:36:31.269 --> 00:36:34.530
And then we wonder why so many of us are
561
00:36:34.670 --> 00:36:38.989
miserable or negative or not happy with our lives, right?
562
00:36:39.070 --> 00:36:42.260
Because we're not living in that congruency. So let's do
563
00:36:42.320 --> 00:36:46.199
that first. And then the next part is the affirmation.
564
00:36:46.940 --> 00:36:49.599
And that is, as we discussed earlier, we can have
565
00:36:49.659 --> 00:36:54.639
that toxic positivity or we can have that aligned positivity.
566
00:36:55.420 --> 00:37:00.409
And I bring that into how I teach affirmations. And
567
00:37:00.650 --> 00:37:06.070
so that we're not filling false positive narratives to ourselves,
568
00:37:06.190 --> 00:37:09.750
because that is a wrong way of using the hammer, right?
569
00:37:09.789 --> 00:37:11.949
You don't just go pound it against the wall. There's
570
00:37:11.989 --> 00:37:13.989
a proper way to use it. So I teach the
571
00:37:14.030 --> 00:37:17.949
proper way of using affirmation. And then the next step
572
00:37:17.989 --> 00:37:20.880
in the method is the necessity. And this is where
573
00:37:20.920 --> 00:37:23.650
I say, There's a starting point. You are here. My
574
00:37:23.710 --> 00:37:26.889
starting point was as a stay-at-home mom, and I wanted
575
00:37:26.929 --> 00:37:31.579
to step into becoming a corporate motivational speaker. Well, there's
576
00:37:31.619 --> 00:37:35.059
a whole gap that happens in between there. So what
577
00:37:35.099 --> 00:37:38.559
are the necessary steps to get me toward that goal,
578
00:37:38.860 --> 00:37:43.719
to overcome that challenge, to create that breakthrough, to move
579
00:37:43.760 --> 00:37:46.670
in that direction of becoming who I want to become,
580
00:37:46.730 --> 00:37:48.889
to do the things that I want to do? So
581
00:37:48.929 --> 00:37:51.110
for all of us, there's a starting point, and then
582
00:37:51.510 --> 00:37:55.550
there's not necessarily a destination, but there's a direction or
583
00:37:55.590 --> 00:37:58.630
an end goal in mind. And with the gap in between,
584
00:37:59.010 --> 00:38:01.429
it's like Martin Luther King Jr. says, we don't have
585
00:38:01.449 --> 00:38:03.949
to see the whole staircase, but so long as we
586
00:38:03.989 --> 00:38:07.030
can see the next one to three steps, we can
587
00:38:07.070 --> 00:38:10.050
start moving in that direction. And then the other steps
588
00:38:10.110 --> 00:38:14.530
become visible as we continue to move forward. So that's
589
00:38:14.610 --> 00:38:18.869
so important. So then I help you to see, recognize
590
00:38:18.929 --> 00:38:21.949
the gap, We're not going to suppress it or brush
591
00:38:21.989 --> 00:38:23.550
it under the carpet. We're going to take a look
592
00:38:23.590 --> 00:38:26.469
at that and go, okay, well, what are the necessary steps?
593
00:38:27.349 --> 00:38:30.760
And then maybe it's a mentor, maybe it's a coach,
594
00:38:30.820 --> 00:38:32.940
maybe it's a course, maybe it's a program, or maybe
595
00:38:32.980 --> 00:38:36.139
it's working with me one-on-one where it can help you
596
00:38:36.159 --> 00:38:40.780
stay accountable to moving forward in that direction. And then
597
00:38:40.820 --> 00:38:42.940
the next part is the discipline.
598
00:38:42.960 --> 00:38:47.650
Yeah. What about when people are at that next step,
599
00:38:48.260 --> 00:38:52.500
But they become immobilized with fear or they hear their
600
00:38:52.519 --> 00:38:55.619
mother's voice saying, oh, no, you should be a whatever.
601
00:38:55.639 --> 00:38:57.460
So what do you do? Right.
602
00:38:58.510 --> 00:39:02.550
Yes. That's where the D takes place in the candy method.
603
00:39:03.050 --> 00:39:07.130
And that is for discipline. And you might think, well,
604
00:39:07.170 --> 00:39:09.369
discipline is doing the action.
605
00:39:10.570 --> 00:39:10.889
Yes.
606
00:39:10.989 --> 00:39:16.789
But even before that, it's disciplining the self-talk. It's disciplining
607
00:39:16.829 --> 00:39:21.719
those thoughts and emotions that come up. Because if we
608
00:39:22.340 --> 00:39:25.019
take someone, now I'm not a health coach, but if
609
00:39:25.099 --> 00:39:28.530
I were a health coach and working with a client
610
00:39:28.570 --> 00:39:33.239
who wants to lose weight, they want to release the pounds. Well,
611
00:39:33.280 --> 00:39:37.510
the moment they decide, oh, okay, well, I know I'm
612
00:39:37.550 --> 00:39:40.710
going to do more exercise and I'm going to eat
613
00:39:40.769 --> 00:39:44.389
less calories because that's what the diet does. And then
614
00:39:44.530 --> 00:39:47.210
your brain goes, yeah, right. And it comes up with
615
00:39:47.389 --> 00:39:52.349
all the self-talk that's going to probably sabotage that journey, right?
616
00:39:52.769 --> 00:39:56.679
So as we work through the necessary parts to move
617
00:39:56.719 --> 00:40:00.079
you from point A to point B, well, your thoughts
618
00:40:00.139 --> 00:40:02.300
and feelings are going to come up with that. And
619
00:40:02.340 --> 00:40:05.800
so that's where I really do the deep dive with you. Like, oh,
620
00:40:06.340 --> 00:40:09.159
you feel that resistance? Well, how is that showing up?
621
00:40:09.659 --> 00:40:13.159
Whose voice is it that's coming up? Is it your
622
00:40:13.360 --> 00:40:16.360
own or is it someone else's? And if it's your own,
623
00:40:16.400 --> 00:40:19.119
is it the inner critic or is it your inner coach?
624
00:40:20.010 --> 00:40:23.570
that's empowering you and encouraging you. And what are the
625
00:40:23.650 --> 00:40:27.750
phrases that are coming up? Because it's taking that probably
626
00:40:27.909 --> 00:40:31.510
years of programming that has been playing day in and
627
00:40:31.550 --> 00:40:33.239
day out and day in and day out. We need
628
00:40:33.260 --> 00:40:36.440
to catch all of that and look at where we
629
00:40:36.539 --> 00:40:41.059
rewrite and reframe. Because thankfully the brain has neuroplasticity, which
630
00:40:41.099 --> 00:40:44.320
means that we can do that. It's not like once
631
00:40:44.340 --> 00:40:46.599
we've said it, now it's stuck in concrete for the
632
00:40:46.639 --> 00:40:48.849
rest of our lives. No, we have the power to
633
00:40:48.929 --> 00:40:53.869
change that. And it literally rewires the brain, the neurons
634
00:40:54.050 --> 00:40:56.219
that get fired in there. And so we have to
635
00:40:56.280 --> 00:40:59.460
reprogram that. So yes, Royce, the person who was saying, oh,
636
00:40:59.480 --> 00:41:03.400
I can't, or I'm afraid, we have phrases that we
637
00:41:03.440 --> 00:41:06.739
can start with that we have to be diligent with
638
00:41:06.800 --> 00:41:10.239
that discipline and say it over and over again. You
639
00:41:10.300 --> 00:41:12.980
asked earlier, what are some of those? And I took
640
00:41:13.019 --> 00:41:17.099
my most popular ones, which are where we catch ourselves saying,
641
00:41:17.139 --> 00:41:22.239
I'm so overwhelmed. I'm so overwhelmed. Well, let's reframe that into,
642
00:41:22.260 --> 00:41:29.699
I am prioritizing. Because overwhelm is, there's so much noise,
643
00:41:30.820 --> 00:41:35.059
literally or figuratively going on, we don't know where to start.
644
00:41:36.619 --> 00:41:40.880
And so all of that overwhelm is reacting to all
645
00:41:40.900 --> 00:41:44.000
the things. And so where can we find one place
646
00:41:44.460 --> 00:41:47.219
where we can start? That is what we call priorities.
647
00:41:47.260 --> 00:41:51.750
We go, I'm prioritizing. And once we start with one movement,
648
00:41:52.210 --> 00:41:55.849
it's like there's all this fog because of all the things.
649
00:41:56.190 --> 00:41:59.469
But once we take that action with whether that thought
650
00:41:59.929 --> 00:42:03.840
and or feeling, and then the actions, we're moving the behavior,
651
00:42:03.860 --> 00:42:07.840
then that fog tends to clear up. And maybe it's
652
00:42:07.880 --> 00:42:10.099
a little bit at a time, maybe it's just rising
653
00:42:10.179 --> 00:42:12.280
up off the floor, and then it gets up to
654
00:42:12.519 --> 00:42:14.760
eye level, and then it starts to clear up around
655
00:42:14.960 --> 00:42:17.429
our head and even more beyond that and so we
656
00:42:17.780 --> 00:42:21.880
continue to see so that reframing is so important if
657
00:42:21.900 --> 00:42:24.500
we have someone who's reacting in life and they're saying
658
00:42:24.960 --> 00:42:26.880
oh i wish this would happen or i wish that
659
00:42:26.920 --> 00:42:30.119
would happen well if it's something that you truly want
660
00:42:30.219 --> 00:42:36.659
and you're willing to commit to creating that happening in
661
00:42:36.719 --> 00:42:43.119
your life the i wish self-talk becomes i will and
662
00:42:43.139 --> 00:42:46.510
then what is it that you will do Because sometimes
663
00:42:46.570 --> 00:42:49.889
that the thing that you need to do will encounter
664
00:42:49.929 --> 00:42:53.179
that resistance and that fear. And so that that's causing
665
00:42:53.239 --> 00:42:58.800
that blockage. We need to reframe that. So then the blockage,
666
00:42:59.159 --> 00:43:01.719
it just, it crumbles, it falls apart and we're able
667
00:43:01.780 --> 00:43:05.679
to move forward. And then my other favorite one, the
668
00:43:05.739 --> 00:43:08.380
last one that I'll share with you is I failed.
669
00:43:08.920 --> 00:43:12.219
I am such a failure. Because things didn't live up
670
00:43:12.280 --> 00:43:15.079
to your expectations. They didn't go the way that you
671
00:43:15.119 --> 00:43:17.300
had planned or the way you wanted to or the
672
00:43:17.320 --> 00:43:20.639
way that you expected to. And so your self-talk becomes, oh,
673
00:43:20.920 --> 00:43:25.590
I failed. Well, let's reframe that into, actually, I got
674
00:43:25.699 --> 00:43:32.489
feedback from that experience. And I learned what didn't work.
675
00:43:33.170 --> 00:43:35.929
So no, I am not a failure. I am a
676
00:43:35.969 --> 00:43:41.769
continuous learner. And I feedback as to what didn't work. Okay.
677
00:43:41.809 --> 00:43:44.070
Now what do I need to do differently? So it
678
00:43:44.170 --> 00:43:46.369
will work or it will go the way that I
679
00:43:46.429 --> 00:43:49.110
want to. And then the last thing I want to
680
00:43:49.130 --> 00:43:51.809
share in that direction, Royce is a lot of times
681
00:43:51.829 --> 00:43:54.150
we're here. I should do this. I should do that.
682
00:43:54.909 --> 00:43:58.139
And I, I, I help my clients. I'm like, I
683
00:43:58.199 --> 00:44:02.639
only allow two shoulds in your life. I call these
684
00:44:02.739 --> 00:44:06.599
the shoulders. It's a play on shoulders, right? Because it's
685
00:44:06.619 --> 00:44:09.369
spelled the same way. But this is the only should.
686
00:44:09.389 --> 00:44:16.659
There's always choice. You get to do things. Where does
687
00:44:16.739 --> 00:44:20.579
should really show up? It doesn't. It's an expectation, which
688
00:44:20.639 --> 00:44:23.679
is a false narrative that you put on yourself. There
689
00:44:23.840 --> 00:44:27.739
aren't a shoulds. What if you could? What if you
690
00:44:27.840 --> 00:44:32.829
would do these things? And that's, you know, a should
691
00:44:32.929 --> 00:44:37.409
is a reaction. The things that you will do. Those
692
00:44:37.469 --> 00:44:41.909
are the creator states of mind and state of doing things.
693
00:44:42.789 --> 00:44:45.530
And then that brings us all of this, Royce, to
694
00:44:45.570 --> 00:44:48.539
the last part of candy, which is the Y stands
695
00:44:48.619 --> 00:44:54.960
for you, which means we celebrate. We need to acknowledge
696
00:44:55.019 --> 00:45:00.840
the effort that we put forth. We like to make
697
00:45:00.880 --> 00:45:03.860
the joke from the Yoda quote, there is no try.
698
00:45:03.880 --> 00:45:06.219
There is only do or do not.
699
00:45:07.219 --> 00:45:07.559
Right.
700
00:45:08.219 --> 00:45:09.840
I like to I like to make a joke when
701
00:45:09.909 --> 00:45:12.489
I'm in front of an audience and I say, OK,
702
00:45:12.789 --> 00:45:13.690
everybody has a pen.
703
00:45:13.789 --> 00:45:13.949
Right.
704
00:45:13.989 --> 00:45:17.269
Because they're taking notes. Fantastic. Put the pen on on
705
00:45:17.289 --> 00:45:19.010
the table. OK, now pick up the pen and put
706
00:45:19.030 --> 00:45:21.280
it over your head and they pick it up and say, great,
707
00:45:21.320 --> 00:45:23.920
that's awesome. Now put it back down. OK, now try
708
00:45:23.960 --> 00:45:30.420
to pick up the pen. And everybody looks around like, wait,
709
00:45:30.460 --> 00:45:34.090
what does trying look like? You don't know what to
710
00:45:34.130 --> 00:45:37.150
do with try. Try sets you up for failure because
711
00:45:37.230 --> 00:45:40.929
as you're overthinking, what does try mean? How do I
712
00:45:40.969 --> 00:45:42.599
pick up the pen? Instead of I say, if I
713
00:45:42.619 --> 00:45:45.849
just say pick up the pen, guess what? You did it.
714
00:45:45.920 --> 00:45:50.840
There's your success, right? But then we need to celebrate that,
715
00:45:50.900 --> 00:45:55.619
that you did the doing and every little step forward.
716
00:45:55.659 --> 00:45:59.190
Like for me, again, moving from reactor to creator and
717
00:45:59.210 --> 00:46:03.420
I found myself in this depression. My initial celebrations of
718
00:46:03.480 --> 00:46:05.739
me was I made it out of the bed today
719
00:46:05.840 --> 00:46:07.699
and I made it to the corner of the couch.
720
00:46:08.440 --> 00:46:10.820
That might not seem like progress to some, but it
721
00:46:10.889 --> 00:46:13.929
was for me. And then I would go hours later, hey,
722
00:46:14.010 --> 00:46:17.690
I took a shower today because that was an effort
723
00:46:18.070 --> 00:46:22.889
and that was energy and forward motion. And now it's
724
00:46:23.230 --> 00:46:25.650
I have another opportunity where I get to show up
725
00:46:25.719 --> 00:46:28.039
and serve and share my story and share my message
726
00:46:28.400 --> 00:46:31.739
and create this impact and and change lives, which I
727
00:46:31.820 --> 00:46:35.679
see is so, so important. In my research, Royce, I
728
00:46:35.719 --> 00:46:40.579
have found that 75% of women with C-suite executive roles
729
00:46:41.000 --> 00:46:46.239
are struggling with imposter syndrome. 63% of women entrepreneurs in
730
00:46:46.260 --> 00:46:52.329
the U.S. struggle with imposter syndrome. How much different would
731
00:46:52.349 --> 00:46:57.500
these women's lives be when they can implement my reactor
732
00:46:57.539 --> 00:47:02.010
to creator framework, when I can help them move through
733
00:47:02.050 --> 00:47:07.150
the candy method, the clarity, the affirmation, the necessity, the discipline,
734
00:47:07.170 --> 00:47:11.500
the you, how much better will their lives be, where
735
00:47:11.539 --> 00:47:15.420
their companies be, and then their families, their relationships, and
736
00:47:15.460 --> 00:47:19.139
then overall the world. It's one little thing that I
737
00:47:19.179 --> 00:47:22.030
get to do, but it makes such a big ripple
738
00:47:22.469 --> 00:47:26.210
of positive impact. And that's why I get so passionate
739
00:47:26.230 --> 00:47:29.590
about the work that I do. And if we don't
740
00:47:29.650 --> 00:47:32.550
take the moments to celebrate even something that might seem
741
00:47:32.610 --> 00:47:35.230
small to you, it doesn't matter to anybody else. That's
742
00:47:35.289 --> 00:47:39.199
a reactor mode. Just looking at yourself, seeing yourself first.
743
00:47:39.590 --> 00:47:41.789
if it's something as small as I made it out
744
00:47:41.809 --> 00:47:46.119
of my bed today to another room where I'm walking,
745
00:47:46.260 --> 00:47:50.400
I'm breathing, I'm smiling, I'm living, it could be something
746
00:47:50.460 --> 00:47:53.559
as small as that or a giant leap or anywhere
747
00:47:53.619 --> 00:47:55.949
in between. If we don't take a moment where it's
748
00:47:55.989 --> 00:48:02.449
even just one deep breath, I did that. It could
749
00:48:02.469 --> 00:48:05.630
be as simple as five seconds of doing that. Or
750
00:48:05.650 --> 00:48:07.929
it could be I am going to give myself a
751
00:48:08.010 --> 00:48:10.809
spa day or any other thing where you just take
752
00:48:10.829 --> 00:48:13.309
that moment. I'm going to see myself and I'm going
753
00:48:13.329 --> 00:48:16.570
to celebrate that. If we don't do that, we're setting
754
00:48:16.610 --> 00:48:21.510
ourselves up for burnout. And when we burn out, we
755
00:48:21.550 --> 00:48:27.079
completely fall apart. And then our day is sabotaged. And
756
00:48:27.219 --> 00:48:30.440
however long it takes us to recover, that whole time
757
00:48:30.539 --> 00:48:33.920
is sabotaged. And when we're sabotaged, who are we serving?
758
00:48:34.300 --> 00:48:38.320
We're not even serving ourselves. So that why in candy
759
00:48:38.739 --> 00:48:42.639
is so, so important. It's important in seeing yourself first
760
00:48:42.960 --> 00:48:45.980
so that you are in alignment with that creator and
761
00:48:46.760 --> 00:48:50.860
reengaging and looking at your self-talk so that you can
762
00:48:51.070 --> 00:48:54.369
feed yourself the dopamine and the serotonin and go, yeah,
763
00:48:54.690 --> 00:48:56.130
I did it. I like to give myself a high
764
00:48:56.190 --> 00:48:59.889
five over my head at times and say, yeah, I
765
00:48:59.969 --> 00:49:02.789
did that. Because sometimes it's like, oh, okay, yes, I
766
00:49:02.809 --> 00:49:05.719
was able to accomplish the task I set out for myself.
767
00:49:06.329 --> 00:49:10.280
Or I go, oh, that was a total win. And
768
00:49:10.320 --> 00:49:13.039
it's so important so that our brain goes, yeah, we
769
00:49:13.099 --> 00:49:15.989
did do that. What are we doing next? And that
770
00:49:16.090 --> 00:49:20.880
puts it all together. And so you're breaking through imposter syndrome, procrastination. perfectionism,
771
00:49:21.260 --> 00:49:23.820
all the things so that you're stepping out and shining
772
00:49:23.840 --> 00:49:25.110
in the way that you're meant to shine.
773
00:49:27.030 --> 00:49:34.269
I have a question. Yes. So let's say, for example,
774
00:49:34.730 --> 00:49:37.570
you have a woman that is a high achiever and
775
00:49:37.630 --> 00:49:42.480
she has this wonderful job. doing whatever, but there's a
776
00:49:42.539 --> 00:49:45.000
part of her, a deeper part of her, maybe her
777
00:49:46.199 --> 00:49:50.530
higher self, her spirit, that is saying, no, you're supposed
778
00:49:50.550 --> 00:49:53.869
to be doing this other thing. And yet she's doing
779
00:49:53.969 --> 00:49:58.300
all the candy method and all that stuff, but it
780
00:49:58.360 --> 00:50:02.719
just isn't what she's supposed to be doing. What do
781
00:50:02.739 --> 00:50:06.239
you say when people kind of have that sense? Because
782
00:50:06.260 --> 00:50:07.340
I was an art major.
783
00:50:07.360 --> 00:50:07.860
Certainly.
784
00:50:08.760 --> 00:50:12.619
And I am doing nothing with art because my higher
785
00:50:12.719 --> 00:50:14.980
self said, no, you're supposed to be a teacher. And
786
00:50:15.039 --> 00:50:16.679
I'm like, I can't.
787
00:50:16.940 --> 00:50:17.119
What?
788
00:50:17.260 --> 00:50:17.480
Huh?
789
00:50:17.519 --> 00:50:23.019
I mean, I was deathly shy. But the universe took
790
00:50:23.179 --> 00:50:28.980
over and literally dropped it in my lap. So what
791
00:50:29.000 --> 00:50:32.389
do you say about all of that, that intuitive knowingness
792
00:50:33.010 --> 00:50:35.349
that we're on the wrong path? We need to do
793
00:50:35.389 --> 00:50:36.050
this other thing.
794
00:50:40.380 --> 00:50:45.010
Yes, that, that will come out either in the clarity part.
795
00:50:46.800 --> 00:50:51.909
And I, I am able to, there's, I intuitively pick
796
00:50:51.969 --> 00:50:54.750
up on that or I would say something to the
797
00:50:54.769 --> 00:50:59.750
other Royce. What I'm hearing you say is that you
798
00:50:59.829 --> 00:51:02.510
want to, or you should be doing this. I'll hear
799
00:51:02.590 --> 00:51:06.500
you say should, or this is what I'm really good at,
800
00:51:06.869 --> 00:51:11.289
but I, then there's something in my intuition that will say,
801
00:51:11.869 --> 00:51:15.030
something's not fully aligned here. So let's go back to
802
00:51:15.070 --> 00:51:19.510
the clarity. Is this what really makes you come alive?
803
00:51:20.429 --> 00:51:24.289
Is this really what brings joy and excitement and enthusiasm
804
00:51:24.429 --> 00:51:28.760
into your heart space? Or is it something that you're
805
00:51:28.800 --> 00:51:31.679
just really, really good at and people keep telling you
806
00:51:31.739 --> 00:51:35.219
you're really, really good at it. So you keep doing that,
807
00:51:36.440 --> 00:51:41.929
but There's something that's still missing. And so we really
808
00:51:42.030 --> 00:51:44.389
deep dive and take a look at that because I
809
00:51:44.510 --> 00:51:48.980
want that alignment. I want that congruency for you because
810
00:51:49.019 --> 00:51:51.980
otherwise we're still kind of back in that reactor mode.
811
00:51:52.480 --> 00:51:52.800
Yeah.
812
00:51:53.159 --> 00:51:56.510
And so I really deep dive on the clarity part
813
00:51:57.409 --> 00:52:02.400
because it's not about me. It's all about you. And
814
00:52:02.820 --> 00:52:06.030
are you feeling that in your, in your mind, in
815
00:52:06.070 --> 00:52:10.329
your heart, in your soul space? And if you're, if
816
00:52:10.409 --> 00:52:12.349
I hear, you know, oh, I should be doing this
817
00:52:12.369 --> 00:52:14.940
and I will, I will push back and say, why?
818
00:52:15.429 --> 00:52:17.829
Who says you should do that?
819
00:52:18.230 --> 00:52:18.989
Yeah.
820
00:52:19.130 --> 00:52:23.989
And then really going into, is it because you, that's part,
821
00:52:24.070 --> 00:52:27.840
it's in alignment with what you want to do or because, yeah, you're,
822
00:52:27.920 --> 00:52:30.380
you're good at it. And so you just keep doing.
823
00:52:30.750 --> 00:52:33.070
because we can trap ourselves in that. So I've, I've
824
00:52:33.090 --> 00:52:34.369
been guilty of that myself.
825
00:52:35.050 --> 00:52:38.710
Yeah. Well, I didn't know that I would love teaching
826
00:52:38.849 --> 00:52:41.989
until it landed in my lap. You know, I just
827
00:52:42.010 --> 00:52:45.230
thought that would be the worst thing ever. Anybody would
828
00:52:45.329 --> 00:52:48.889
ever force me to do, you know, but the universe
829
00:52:48.909 --> 00:52:53.750
had other plans. So I didn't know that joy until
830
00:52:53.789 --> 00:52:56.659
I was teaching probably at least a year. And I
831
00:52:56.699 --> 00:53:00.239
could finally say, I'm not an imposter. I'm, I'm getting
832
00:53:00.280 --> 00:53:03.900
this stuff and it's important. So yeah, exactly.
833
00:53:04.610 --> 00:53:05.110
Yes.
834
00:53:05.360 --> 00:53:05.710
Yes.
835
00:53:06.050 --> 00:53:08.670
And I love this real quick because I had a
836
00:53:08.710 --> 00:53:12.230
client who she wasn't in a corporate leadership position, but
837
00:53:12.289 --> 00:53:16.719
she struggled with commanding that respect and authority in the room.
838
00:53:17.260 --> 00:53:19.980
And when she came to me, she wanted that change
839
00:53:20.000 --> 00:53:23.079
to happen. And she said, and beyond that, Lee, I
840
00:53:23.119 --> 00:53:26.429
want to be a speaker, but I'm really afraid of
841
00:53:26.489 --> 00:53:29.590
speaking in front of people. So we, we went through
842
00:53:29.610 --> 00:53:34.909
the candy method and reframed her, her self-talk and Royce.
843
00:53:34.929 --> 00:53:38.280
What I loved about her was not only did she
844
00:53:39.429 --> 00:53:43.039
change her posture, her demeanor, she aligned with her future
845
00:53:43.079 --> 00:53:46.420
successful self. She did take command of the room. She
846
00:53:46.440 --> 00:53:49.199
went on to leave that corporate position because she got
847
00:53:49.239 --> 00:53:53.920
a promotion with a different corporate corporation. And she, she,
848
00:53:54.530 --> 00:53:57.869
had this job that now she absolutely loves. She went
849
00:53:57.989 --> 00:54:01.829
on to become a certified speaker and hold her own events.
850
00:54:02.090 --> 00:54:05.849
And I'm excited to share that I got to come
851
00:54:05.889 --> 00:54:08.550
full circle and I got to be a speaker on
852
00:54:08.630 --> 00:54:11.889
her stage and witness all of this of her standing
853
00:54:11.929 --> 00:54:14.949
in front of a room of 100 women. And she
854
00:54:14.989 --> 00:54:18.869
was holding her own and to see and to get
855
00:54:18.909 --> 00:54:20.949
to say, I got to play a little part in
856
00:54:20.989 --> 00:54:24.420
that and helping her reset all of those things and
857
00:54:24.500 --> 00:54:26.579
look at her now. She is truly shining in the
858
00:54:26.619 --> 00:54:29.730
world and it's just a beautiful transformation.
859
00:54:30.829 --> 00:54:33.510
So we just have a couple more minutes and why
860
00:54:33.530 --> 00:54:35.510
don't you tell people how to reach you and what's
861
00:54:35.550 --> 00:54:38.949
available and do your little self-promotion.
862
00:54:40.809 --> 00:54:43.550
Well, thank you so much for this opportunity. I really
863
00:54:43.610 --> 00:54:46.880
enjoyed this conversation. And if you can't tell, yes, I
864
00:54:47.079 --> 00:54:50.679
am truly passionate about rewriting your self-talk. And so I
865
00:54:50.699 --> 00:54:58.130
bought the URL. It's rewriteyourselftalk.com. And when you go there,
866
00:54:58.170 --> 00:55:02.389
we can start the conversation. And I give you a
867
00:55:02.449 --> 00:55:06.909
free gift. It's called the 5-Minute Self-Talk Reset. And it's
868
00:55:06.969 --> 00:55:09.750
a simple PDF where I give you 19 phrases that
869
00:55:09.769 --> 00:55:12.670
we typically say to ourselves. And so on the one side,
870
00:55:12.730 --> 00:55:14.869
I have don't say that. And on the other side,
871
00:55:14.889 --> 00:55:17.659
I have say this. And I give you the reframes.
872
00:55:17.780 --> 00:55:19.820
And what I love about that one pager is it
873
00:55:20.059 --> 00:55:22.619
is a printable. You can have it at your desk.
874
00:55:22.699 --> 00:55:24.980
So when you catch the thought, oh, wait a minute,
875
00:55:25.119 --> 00:55:27.230
I don't want to be saying that. You get the
876
00:55:27.269 --> 00:55:31.090
reframe until it becomes habit because it takes repetition, diligent
877
00:55:31.130 --> 00:55:33.750
repetition to replace it, right? Or you can take the
878
00:55:33.809 --> 00:55:35.809
sheet and you can tape it to your bathroom mirror
879
00:55:35.849 --> 00:55:38.190
because that's where most of that self-talk happens is that
880
00:55:38.269 --> 00:55:41.179
last few seconds before we turn away to get on
881
00:55:41.219 --> 00:55:42.780
with our day. Or you can save it as a
882
00:55:42.820 --> 00:55:45.900
wallpaper on your cell phone because pretty much on your
883
00:55:45.920 --> 00:55:48.059
cell phone everywhere you go. And so when you, again,
884
00:55:48.079 --> 00:55:50.320
when you catch the thought, you just look at it, look, Oh,
885
00:55:50.389 --> 00:55:53.329
that's what I want to be saying instead until again,
886
00:55:53.389 --> 00:55:56.550
it becomes habit for you. So it's a powerful tool.
887
00:55:57.170 --> 00:56:00.349
The five minutes self-talk reset, you are worthy of those
888
00:56:00.449 --> 00:56:04.800
five minutes. So give that gift to yourself and allow
889
00:56:04.860 --> 00:56:07.599
that change to happen and see what happens in the
890
00:56:07.639 --> 00:56:09.780
rest of your life. Because when you change your self-talk,
891
00:56:10.190 --> 00:56:14.570
You change the results. And that is at rewriteyourselftalk.com. Thank
892
00:56:14.650 --> 00:56:17.539
you so much. Thank you so much, Lee.
893
00:56:17.679 --> 00:56:23.440
This was awesome. And go out and deserve to get
894
00:56:23.539 --> 00:56:26.599
free of all that self-talk. Thank you so much.
895
00:56:26.619 --> 00:56:30.199
Keep up the good work. Create your best life. Thank you.
896
00:56:30.860 --> 00:56:31.280
Thank you.
897
00:56:38.429 --> 00:56:38.750
Thank you.