WEBVTT
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The panic disorder girl, the girl who talks about her symptoms and fear and recovery.
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And while anxiety has absolutely been part of my story, it's never been the whole story.
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Hello, everyone, and welcome to Peace Over Panic Podcast.
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Before we dive into anything today, obviously I have words to say, a lot on my heart.
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Whether you've been following me for years or listening to every podcast episode we've ever put out, or whether this is your very first time hearing my voice, welcome.
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Um, this episode feels emotional to me for many reasons because this isn't just the start of a podcast for me.
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This is a new season.
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It feels like a new chapter, a new assignment.
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Um, God's been really speaking to me and on my heart probably for a really long time.
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And honestly, I didn't know what exactly to say this first episode.
00:00:56.399 --> 00:01:02.399
I thought about making it this polished script of writing all these things that might be helpful for you.
00:01:02.560 --> 00:01:31.760
And I thought of this perfect introduction, but the truth is I'm so far from perfect, and I don't want per perfection to be any type of foundation for this podcast because this I want this podcast to be simply my heart to yours, uh, my struggles to yours, my questions to yours, my curiosity, my desire to live a full life of health and wanting to feel good.
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I isn't that what we all want to feel?
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Like we want to find a way that we can feel good without striving for control or perfection and feel satisfied and the answer, the questions we have, and just if you're anything like me, just on this road of recovery.
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So I really just want this podcast to be my heart.
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My heart, and I pray that you see my heart, and I pray that your heart aligns with my heart and you find healing through this in some way.
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Because my story isn't really about anxiety.
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For years, people have known me as the health anxiety girl.
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I remember my therapist when I finally told her about my page because I was really nervous about it.
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She was like, look at the title of your page at health anxiety, the anxiety girl, the panic disorder girl, the girl who talks about her symptoms and fear and recovery.
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And while anxiety has absolutely been part of my story, it's never been the whole story.
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Because underneath the anxiety, I've always been searching for something deeper.
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Peace, not temporary relief, not reassurance from symptoms, uh, not certainty, but peace.
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I think I realize that's all I've ever been searching for.
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And it's the kind of peace that remain that remains when certainty doesn't, the kind of peace that remains when symptoms show up or problems arise, and the kind of peace that remains when life isn't going the way you had it planned.
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Through my journey with anxiety, I have learned so much.
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If you struggled with anxiety, you know this.
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Anxiety makes a lot of promises to us.
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It tells us if you can just figure it out, you'll finally be okay and you'll finally be happy.
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If you can just get one more test, you'll finally relax and you'll finally let go of all that fear.
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If you can just eliminate every symptom, you'll finally feel safe and you'll finally have peace.
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If you can just predict every single situation situation and every single outcome, you'll finally feel okay.
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And what I've learned over the years on this rabbit run, rabbit run, is that even a thing?
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I don't know.
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Let's roll with it.
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Is that anxiety never stops asking for more.
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Never.
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It never stops asking for more certainty, more reassurance, more control, more problems, more symptoms.
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Just when you think you've handled one, another one arises because that's not what's going on.
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The finish line just always keeps moving because anxiety isn't actually looking for answers, it's looking for this certainty, this control that none of us are going to get.
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We're never gonna get this full control, we're never gonna get this full certainty.
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So it's this life of unknowns and not being certain.
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And that's where I want to meet you, and that's where I'm meeting myself in the uncertainty, in the unknowns, and having peace even in it.
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So the biggest lesson I've learned and where my heart is centered in starting this podcast is if I could summarize the biggest lesson I've learned in my healing journey journey, it would be that peace does not come from controlling my life.
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Peace comes from trusting God in the middle of life.
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And I wish I could tell you this magic formula of just suddenly waking up and being completely healed, or this one supplement or therapy technique, or nervous system exercise, or breakthrough moment.
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And while I've had many and I've come so, so, so far.
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I mean, the girl will do a whole episode on that.
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I know I did it on the anxiety checks, but I think it's good to start fresh here and really tell my story from where I'm at now and from where I was.
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So that will probably be the next episode is just sharing my whole story and just kind of where everything happened.
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What I've discovered is something both harder and more beautiful is peace is often built day by day, prayer by prayer, choice after choice, trust by trust.
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Not because circumstances are perfect, but because my foundation has been made stronger.
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And so, why the name Peace Over Panic, I know I was going back between tell me I'm okay and peace over panic, tell me I'm okay, felt stuck.
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That title felt stuck.
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Like, tell me I'm okay.
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That that feels like reassurance, that feels like where I was.
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Peace over panic means waking up every day and putting peace above panic.
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So panic can always be there.
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You you can you can always have anxiety or panic within you.
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That doesn't mean that you're failing, but we can put peace above it and we can have peace even in the panic.
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And so I just kept coming back to this title and back to this name.
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And I made the Facebook group this because it just feels strong.
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There's so much power.
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And not because panic, like I said, disappears, but because or because fear is never gonna show up, but because every single day we have that choice together to put that peace on top of panic.
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We can visualize here's the panic, here's the fear.
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I'm not gonna be mad at it.
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I'm not going to try and run from it, but I can overlay it with this peace.
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I can say fear or faith.
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I can say panic or peace.
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I can consciously try and put that mindset forward.
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So you might be thinking, okay, what will this podcast be?
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How is it different from the podcast you had?
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And I loved the journey, the five to six years.
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If you've been there the whole, I think back to my first episode I ever recorded, and I was so anxious.
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I've always been, I remember one time having a uh, I had to take speech, I think all of us public speaking in college.
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And I was terrified.
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I would get nauseous, I would get so odd because I feel like when a microphone or a camera is put in front of me or crowd, I just mumble my words, I stumble on them, my brain's kind of just going a little faster than my mouth is.
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And I've always felt this sense of being unqualified.
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Who am I to speak on things?
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Who am I to give advice?
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I'm not a therapist, right?
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And I feel like all of those narratives have been in my brain that because I'm not a therapist, because I'm not good at public speaking, because of whatever that I am not qualified, but I know within my soul that I am so full of empathy and I am so full of experience through the hardest, and I mean the hardest of times with anxiety.
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It's gonna make me emotional because I know what down bad looks like, but I also know what on top of the mountain looks like.
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And if you're down bad and you feel like you'll never see another good day, I want to get you up on that mountain with me because the mountain is there.
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Doesn't mean I'll ever see the valley again, but we can live on that mountain for a lot of time.
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So this podcast isn't going to be a place where we pretend that life is easy and it won't be toxic positivity or fake encouragement.
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And I really try and keep a thin line between all that because I never want to be like, guys, come on, just choose peace over panic.
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Just choose it.
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It's that easy because while it sounds easy and God tells us to choose peace, right?
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We can still fight those battles and it be a work that we have to do.
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So this podcast is going to make room for everything where faith can be hard at times, disappointment is hard, waiting is hard, loss is hard, anxiety is hard, life can be hard, but we're going to talk about all those real struggles.
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We're not gonna sugarcoat them, real feel, real fears, real questions, real emotions, um, asking the hard things.
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I want every specialist I can think of that can just help us get some sense of the things that we don't know.
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I feel like sometimes we just have these questions and we just want to know just some things about life, right?
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Like it's it's okay to ask the questions.
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And once I learned that God isn't intimidated by honesty, if we just come with an honest heart, even if we're feeling panic, he's not mad at us.
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We are just we're being honest and authentic.
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And that's what I want this podcast to be just authenticity of, hey, this is where I'm at.
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This is I'm I'm on this journey of growth, on this journey of choosing peace over panic.
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And I'm not afraid to say that.
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So this person, this podcast is for the person who feels exhausted, who's tired of carrying everything, who feels stuck, feels afraid, who can't stop overthinking, who wants to draw closer to God, who feels alone.
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This podcast is for you.
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And I hope you meet me in this and that we together grow because I'm looking to grow too.
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I'm always looking to grow.
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And so I'm really excited for what's to come.
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We're gonna talk about all sorts of things: holistic world, modern world, God, our faith, meditations, techniques that work, healing modalities, all of it.
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Just from my experience, experts, anything we can get our hands on that we can add into our day or dive into and research and learn.
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And I feel like there's so much power in that.
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There's so much at our fingertips of information and people with knowledge who can just really help us and give us those tools we need on this journey of finding peace over pan.
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One thing God has been really teaching me is you don't have to have everything figured out to help people.
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And I always lived in this thought process that because I'm not a therapist, I'm not qualified to talk or speak, or because I'm not a doctor, I can't do, you know, XYZ.
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I am a registered dietitian who really put a focus on mental health and nutrition because there is such a component into what we put in and on our bodies that affects our brain and our mental health.
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And we will dive into so much of that too.
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But I always felt this sense of unbeing unqualified.
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And I am so qualified in God, and I'm so qualified in speaking on my journey, and I'm so qualified in my authenticity.
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And I hope this resonates with you in some way.
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I hope from these episodes you find some piece of healing and that together we can grow, and that this is something that you can carry with you when you're having a hard day and you just need something you need to go listen to.
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I hope that this place is that for you.
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So I'm going to make some promises to you.
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I'll promise to be honest, to be real, to share my struggles, what I'm learning, never hold back in what God is wanting me to speak on.
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Point you towards hope.
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Share what's helped me, share what I'm learning, share that healing is possible, sharing that setbacks don't mean failure, and sharing that you are stronger and I am stronger than anxiety.
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And I'll remind you over and over again that peace is still possible.
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Peace is still possible.
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And I will stumble over words too.
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Even here, even now, in every season, we can have peace.
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I also want you guys to be as involved as possible.
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If I can get some of you to have an episode on your story or sharing your testimony or anything, I think that would be so powerful and hopeful to so many people.
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And topics too, topics, specialists, anything you're questioning, I'm here to help you um learn more.
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Whoever we can get on, I will make it my mission to get on whoever we need to get on to learn what we need to learn because your story isn't over.
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God is not finished with you, He's not finished with me, and there's still so much hope ahead for you and I.
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And so I'm really excited for this journey of peace over panic together.
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And I'm praying that this becomes more than just me talking to you guys and more a community of learning, growing, and sharing and healing.
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So I'm very excited for what's to come, and I'm looking forward to uh starting a series, starting a whatever we will get into, whatever God puts on my heart, and that's what I'm really leaning into is I'm saying, God, just speak to me, speak to my heart, speak to my soul, speak to what I need to speak on that somebody needs to hear.
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So I'll see you guys next week.
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And maybe even I'm really wanting to focus on putting in because meditation and breath work is so, so important to me.
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I would love to put one of those out a week too, along with the episode, maybe two a week.
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I don't know.
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I I do my meditations and breath work every morning.
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The least I can do is come on here and share one of those.
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And then I also am really diving into wanting a devotional that really resonates with all of us.
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So I look forward to next week.
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I'm already looking into some experts and specialists I'd like to come on and topics I would like.
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So cheers to a new journey.
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Though scary, I feel prepared.
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Until next time, the peace over panic.
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The panic disorder girl, the girl who talks about her symptoms and fear and recovery.
00:00:04.160 --> 00:00:09.119
And while anxiety has absolutely been part of my story, it's never been the whole story.
00:00:09.359 --> 00:00:15.279
Hello, everyone, and welcome to Peace Over Panic Podcast.
00:00:15.679 --> 00:00:21.039
Before we dive into anything today, obviously I have words to say, a lot on my heart.
00:00:21.199 --> 00:00:32.240
Whether you've been following me for years or listening to every podcast episode we've ever put out, or whether this is your very first time hearing my voice, welcome.
00:00:32.560 --> 00:00:40.719
Um, this episode feels emotional to me for many reasons because this isn't just the start of a podcast for me.
00:00:40.960 --> 00:00:42.640
This is a new season.
00:00:42.799 --> 00:00:45.759
It feels like a new chapter, a new assignment.
00:00:46.000 --> 00:00:50.880
Um, God's been really speaking to me and on my heart probably for a really long time.
00:00:51.359 --> 00:00:56.159
And honestly, I didn't know what exactly to say this first episode.
00:00:56.399 --> 00:01:02.399
I thought about making it this polished script of writing all these things that might be helpful for you.
00:01:02.560 --> 00:01:31.760
And I thought of this perfect introduction, but the truth is I'm so far from perfect, and I don't want per perfection to be any type of foundation for this podcast because this I want this podcast to be simply my heart to yours, uh, my struggles to yours, my questions to yours, my curiosity, my desire to live a full life of health and wanting to feel good.
00:01:31.840 --> 00:01:33.280
I isn't that what we all want to feel?
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Like we want to find a way that we can feel good without striving for control or perfection and feel satisfied and the answer, the questions we have, and just if you're anything like me, just on this road of recovery.
00:01:48.719 --> 00:01:51.120
So I really just want this podcast to be my heart.
00:01:51.359 --> 00:02:00.719
My heart, and I pray that you see my heart, and I pray that your heart aligns with my heart and you find healing through this in some way.
00:02:01.280 --> 00:02:04.239
Because my story isn't really about anxiety.
00:02:04.560 --> 00:02:08.080
For years, people have known me as the health anxiety girl.
00:02:08.159 --> 00:02:12.479
I remember my therapist when I finally told her about my page because I was really nervous about it.
00:02:12.719 --> 00:02:22.879
She was like, look at the title of your page at health anxiety, the anxiety girl, the panic disorder girl, the girl who talks about her symptoms and fear and recovery.
00:02:22.960 --> 00:02:27.919
And while anxiety has absolutely been part of my story, it's never been the whole story.
00:02:28.080 --> 00:02:31.919
Because underneath the anxiety, I've always been searching for something deeper.
00:02:32.159 --> 00:02:39.840
Peace, not temporary relief, not reassurance from symptoms, uh, not certainty, but peace.
00:02:40.000 --> 00:02:43.199
I think I realize that's all I've ever been searching for.
00:02:43.439 --> 00:02:57.039
And it's the kind of peace that remain that remains when certainty doesn't, the kind of peace that remains when symptoms show up or problems arise, and the kind of peace that remains when life isn't going the way you had it planned.
00:02:57.280 --> 00:03:00.800
Through my journey with anxiety, I have learned so much.
00:03:00.960 --> 00:03:03.439
If you struggled with anxiety, you know this.
00:03:03.680 --> 00:03:06.400
Anxiety makes a lot of promises to us.
00:03:06.479 --> 00:03:10.960
It tells us if you can just figure it out, you'll finally be okay and you'll finally be happy.
00:03:11.120 --> 00:03:15.599
If you can just get one more test, you'll finally relax and you'll finally let go of all that fear.
00:03:15.680 --> 00:03:19.840
If you can just eliminate every symptom, you'll finally feel safe and you'll finally have peace.
00:03:20.080 --> 00:03:26.560
If you can just predict every single situation situation and every single outcome, you'll finally feel okay.
00:03:26.960 --> 00:03:32.800
And what I've learned over the years on this rabbit run, rabbit run, is that even a thing?
00:03:32.879 --> 00:03:33.199
I don't know.
00:03:33.280 --> 00:03:34.240
Let's roll with it.
00:03:34.560 --> 00:03:38.240
Is that anxiety never stops asking for more.
00:03:38.479 --> 00:03:39.120
Never.
00:03:39.439 --> 00:03:46.000
It never stops asking for more certainty, more reassurance, more control, more problems, more symptoms.
00:03:46.240 --> 00:03:52.159
Just when you think you've handled one, another one arises because that's not what's going on.
00:03:52.319 --> 00:04:02.960
The finish line just always keeps moving because anxiety isn't actually looking for answers, it's looking for this certainty, this control that none of us are going to get.
00:04:03.039 --> 00:04:07.039
We're never gonna get this full control, we're never gonna get this full certainty.
00:04:07.360 --> 00:04:11.280
So it's this life of unknowns and not being certain.
00:04:11.439 --> 00:04:18.639
And that's where I want to meet you, and that's where I'm meeting myself in the uncertainty, in the unknowns, and having peace even in it.
00:04:18.800 --> 00:04:32.160
So the biggest lesson I've learned and where my heart is centered in starting this podcast is if I could summarize the biggest lesson I've learned in my healing journey journey, it would be that peace does not come from controlling my life.
00:04:32.399 --> 00:04:35.360
Peace comes from trusting God in the middle of life.
00:04:35.680 --> 00:04:47.680
And I wish I could tell you this magic formula of just suddenly waking up and being completely healed, or this one supplement or therapy technique, or nervous system exercise, or breakthrough moment.
00:04:47.839 --> 00:04:51.600
And while I've had many and I've come so, so, so far.
00:04:51.759 --> 00:04:53.920
I mean, the girl will do a whole episode on that.
00:04:54.000 --> 00:05:00.959
I know I did it on the anxiety checks, but I think it's good to start fresh here and really tell my story from where I'm at now and from where I was.
00:05:01.040 --> 00:05:07.040
So that will probably be the next episode is just sharing my whole story and just kind of where everything happened.
00:05:07.199 --> 00:05:19.680
What I've discovered is something both harder and more beautiful is peace is often built day by day, prayer by prayer, choice after choice, trust by trust.
00:05:20.319 --> 00:05:25.360
Not because circumstances are perfect, but because my foundation has been made stronger.
00:05:25.519 --> 00:05:32.879
And so, why the name Peace Over Panic, I know I was going back between tell me I'm okay and peace over panic, tell me I'm okay, felt stuck.
00:05:33.040 --> 00:05:34.240
That title felt stuck.
00:05:34.319 --> 00:05:35.279
Like, tell me I'm okay.
00:05:35.360 --> 00:05:38.399
That that feels like reassurance, that feels like where I was.
00:05:38.720 --> 00:05:43.519
Peace over panic means waking up every day and putting peace above panic.
00:05:43.680 --> 00:05:45.199
So panic can always be there.
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You you can you can always have anxiety or panic within you.
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That doesn't mean that you're failing, but we can put peace above it and we can have peace even in the panic.
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And so I just kept coming back to this title and back to this name.
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And I made the Facebook group this because it just feels strong.
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There's so much power.
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And not because panic, like I said, disappears, but because or because fear is never gonna show up, but because every single day we have that choice together to put that peace on top of panic.
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We can visualize here's the panic, here's the fear.
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I'm not gonna be mad at it.
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I'm not going to try and run from it, but I can overlay it with this peace.
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I can say fear or faith.
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I can say panic or peace.
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I can consciously try and put that mindset forward.
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So you might be thinking, okay, what will this podcast be?
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How is it different from the podcast you had?
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And I loved the journey, the five to six years.
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If you've been there the whole, I think back to my first episode I ever recorded, and I was so anxious.
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I've always been, I remember one time having a uh, I had to take speech, I think all of us public speaking in college.
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And I was terrified.
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I would get nauseous, I would get so odd because I feel like when a microphone or a camera is put in front of me or crowd, I just mumble my words, I stumble on them, my brain's kind of just going a little faster than my mouth is.
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And I've always felt this sense of being unqualified.
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Who am I to speak on things?
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Who am I to give advice?
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I'm not a therapist, right?
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And I feel like all of those narratives have been in my brain that because I'm not a therapist, because I'm not good at public speaking, because of whatever that I am not qualified, but I know within my soul that I am so full of empathy and I am so full of experience through the hardest, and I mean the hardest of times with anxiety.
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It's gonna make me emotional because I know what down bad looks like, but I also know what on top of the mountain looks like.
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And if you're down bad and you feel like you'll never see another good day, I want to get you up on that mountain with me because the mountain is there.
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Doesn't mean I'll ever see the valley again, but we can live on that mountain for a lot of time.
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So this podcast isn't going to be a place where we pretend that life is easy and it won't be toxic positivity or fake encouragement.
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And I really try and keep a thin line between all that because I never want to be like, guys, come on, just choose peace over panic.
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Just choose it.
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It's that easy because while it sounds easy and God tells us to choose peace, right?
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We can still fight those battles and it be a work that we have to do.
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So this podcast is going to make room for everything where faith can be hard at times, disappointment is hard, waiting is hard, loss is hard, anxiety is hard, life can be hard, but we're going to talk about all those real struggles.
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We're not gonna sugarcoat them, real feel, real fears, real questions, real emotions, um, asking the hard things.
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I want every specialist I can think of that can just help us get some sense of the things that we don't know.
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I feel like sometimes we just have these questions and we just want to know just some things about life, right?
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Like it's it's okay to ask the questions.
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And once I learned that God isn't intimidated by honesty, if we just come with an honest heart, even if we're feeling panic, he's not mad at us.
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We are just we're being honest and authentic.
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And that's what I want this podcast to be just authenticity of, hey, this is where I'm at.
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This is I'm I'm on this journey of growth, on this journey of choosing peace over panic.
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And I'm not afraid to say that.
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So this person, this podcast is for the person who feels exhausted, who's tired of carrying everything, who feels stuck, feels afraid, who can't stop overthinking, who wants to draw closer to God, who feels alone.
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This podcast is for you.
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And I hope you meet me in this and that we together grow because I'm looking to grow too.
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I'm always looking to grow.
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And so I'm really excited for what's to come.
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We're gonna talk about all sorts of things: holistic world, modern world, God, our faith, meditations, techniques that work, healing modalities, all of it.
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Just from my experience, experts, anything we can get our hands on that we can add into our day or dive into and research and learn.
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And I feel like there's so much power in that.
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There's so much at our fingertips of information and people with knowledge who can just really help us and give us those tools we need on this journey of finding peace over pan.
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One thing God has been really teaching me is you don't have to have everything figured out to help people.
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And I always lived in this thought process that because I'm not a therapist, I'm not qualified to talk or speak, or because I'm not a doctor, I can't do, you know, XYZ.
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I am a registered dietitian who really put a focus on mental health and nutrition because there is such a component into what we put in and on our bodies that affects our brain and our mental health.
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And we will dive into so much of that too.
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But I always felt this sense of unbeing unqualified.
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And I am so qualified in God, and I'm so qualified in speaking on my journey, and I'm so qualified in my authenticity.
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And I hope this resonates with you in some way.
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I hope from these episodes you find some piece of healing and that together we can grow, and that this is something that you can carry with you when you're having a hard day and you just need something you need to go listen to.
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I hope that this place is that for you.
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So I'm going to make some promises to you.
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I'll promise to be honest, to be real, to share my struggles, what I'm learning, never hold back in what God is wanting me to speak on.
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Point you towards hope.
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Share what's helped me, share what I'm learning, share that healing is possible, sharing that setbacks don't mean failure, and sharing that you are stronger and I am stronger than anxiety.
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And I'll remind you over and over again that peace is still possible.
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Peace is still possible.
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And I will stumble over words too.
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Even here, even now, in every season, we can have peace.
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I also want you guys to be as involved as possible.
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If I can get some of you to have an episode on your story or sharing your testimony or anything, I think that would be so powerful and hopeful to so many people.
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And topics too, topics, specialists, anything you're questioning, I'm here to help you um learn more.
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Whoever we can get on, I will make it my mission to get on whoever we need to get on to learn what we need to learn because your story isn't over.
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God is not finished with you, He's not finished with me, and there's still so much hope ahead for you and I.
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And so I'm really excited for this journey of peace over panic together.
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And I'm praying that this becomes more than just me talking to you guys and more a community of learning, growing, and sharing and healing.
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So I'm very excited for what's to come, and I'm looking forward to uh starting a series, starting a whatever we will get into, whatever God puts on my heart, and that's what I'm really leaning into is I'm saying, God, just speak to me, speak to my heart, speak to my soul, speak to what I need to speak on that somebody needs to hear.
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So I'll see you guys next week.
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And maybe even I'm really wanting to focus on putting in because meditation and breath work is so, so important to me.
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I would love to put one of those out a week too, along with the episode, maybe two a week.
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I don't know.
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I I do my meditations and breath work every morning.
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The least I can do is come on here and share one of those.
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And then I also am really diving into wanting a devotional that really resonates with all of us.
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So I look forward to next week.
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I'm already looking into some experts and specialists I'd like to come on and topics I would like.
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So cheers to a new journey.
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Though scary, I feel prepared.
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Until next time, the peace over panic.
