Fighting For Placement When Severe Autism Outgrows The System

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Hello and welcome to the Parenting Severe Autism Podcast.
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I am your host, Shannon Chamberlin.
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I'm so happy that you're here with me today.
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Any of those Amazon links for products that I've been posting for you guys are no longer active.
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I have been canceled from that program because my base of listeners and purchasers are simply not what they want them to be on Amazon's end.
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The things that are still available are probably the most useful, which is the Angel Sense monitor device and the red light therapy and the vibrating plate and the larger items like that.
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Those do have active discount links when you click through my links that I list in my show notes.
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So be sure to take advantage of those anytime.
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And of course, you can always contact me at contact.parentingsevereautism at gmail.com.
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I prefer to only receive contacts right now from my listeners and not from people who want to be guests on my show.
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I'm really just not in a place to accept you as a guest.
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So please make note of that.
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And in this episode, I'm going to start with the emails again.
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Um there's just really no way to introduce what's going to happen.
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You just have to listen.
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But we left off at the end of February of 2019 in the last episode.
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And the next email that I have is from March 14th of 2019, and then I don't get another one until July of that year.
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So I'm actually going to run through a few emails.
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There are not a whole lot of them, but I want to take you through September 3rd of 2019, maybe September 4th, something like that, because it's all just one big flurry of just crap.
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First, you need to know that behind the scenes there's always stuff going on.
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You're a parent, you know.
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But I think that perhaps in a situation such as a school or anywhere where the kid is involved with other people, the difficulties that they have with the child are their difficulties.
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And I think that sometimes they will forget.
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It seems to me from our experience that they forgot that there is stuff going on behind the scenes for the family, and that school life is not the only part of life that we are struggling with, you know.
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So I just want to set that stage real quick.
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During this time of starting school in 2018 and moving into 2019, first of all, Jacob became a legal adult in December of 2018.
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And we started as early as when he was 16 years old looking into the necessities of becoming legal guardians for him.
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We were told at 16 years old that it was much too early and don't even try to look into it until he actually turns 18.
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So when he actually turned 18 in December of 2018, we started making the calls and looking into it.
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And it was unexpectedly expensive here in Illinois because the last time that we priced it, we were in Wisconsin and it was not a big deal at all.
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But in Illinois, everything is more expensive, apparently.
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So we were desperately trying to figure out how to survive with all of the new developments in our lives, because my spouse was really great at sales.
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I mean, his skills were really unmatched, and we thought we were going to have a good life no matter where we went because of his skills.
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However, the way that Jacob began to change, it made it to where he couldn't work.
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Because, first of all, there was really no employer who would be okay with their new employee being on call for their own family all days of the week.
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And it was a real possibility that he could go to work in the morning and 15 minutes later get a call that his kid's head was through the wall or his kid was missing or he was feeding me or something, you know, and he would always have to go to work thinking that way and being nervous.
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And that just it doesn't do well for any kind of mindset when you have to work.
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And the other thing is that Jacob knew that he could hurt me and he would do that if daddy wasn't around.
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So it just wasn't feasible for daddy to actually have a career or any kind of job anymore, which left me to be the one to try to get a job.
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And I know at first, I told you, we were kind of seeing who could get a job first, but it really became up to me at that point.
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So I was actually working at Lowe's Home Improvement Center at the beginning of 2019.
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I thought I would love that.
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Well, not love it because I don't believe in working for other people really.
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But I love home improvement, you know, and I thought it would be a great job.
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And I just want to say it has nothing to do with autism, but I just want to say that is the worst job I have ever had in my life.
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It was so depressing.
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Nobody even knew I was alive or cared, and I was just so sad all the time.
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So thankfully, I ended up with another job.
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I only worked over there for a couple of weeks, but I got a job at a local dispensary called Numed at the time.
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They're still around, but they've changed their name.
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And I started off part-time.
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I was very candid with everyone.
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You remember the interview I had with the school where I said, oh, he just doesn't listen.
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And yeah, it was awful.
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But after that interview, I realized I don't think I can handle full-time.
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So I was just very honest and telling people I need a part-time job.
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I don't want to be a boss.
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I don't want any extra responsibility.
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I just need to work.
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And this is what my family looks like, you know.
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So I was very candid about all of that.
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And the dispensary hired me.
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They were very understanding and really happy to have a part-time employee with all of the credentials that I have.
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And within three weeks, this guy, Toby, who was like the main manager there, threatened my job.
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He offered me full time and I said, I can't.
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I really can't handle full time.
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And he said, Well, I tell you what, you go full time or you don't do anything at all.
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And you know, with the kind of lifestyle that I was living with my son and the home situation, I just I really thought that was totally fucking uncool.
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And I hate that guy to this day.
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Honestly, I cannot stand that guy.
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He did get in a lot of trouble for discrimination against a lot of different kinds of people eventually.
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But yeah, I got bullied into working full time because I really wanted to work at a dispensary for many different reasons.
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So I'm getting bullied at work, and now I'm working full time, and I was handling it okay, but my family was not handling it okay at all.
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And I will possibly share those details in one of my private episodes for the subscription price, but I'm not gonna add it in here.
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Suffice it to say, it wasn't working out very well for the family, but I did hang on to that job for like a year before I actually got fired on my birthday.
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Also, during this time, I think it was hmm, maybe March or April of 2019, there was a rupture in the family unit, and the grandmother ended up moving out in front of my son.
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And I know I told you that story.
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This is when it happened, okay?
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Around March or April of 2019.
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Moved out right in front of him and didn't say a word to him.
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Neither she nor her spouse actually sat him down and talked to him about real life and what was going on.
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I will make a note to share with you what happened as a result of that in my next episode.
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I will share with you the things that happened because they were fucked up.
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It's gonna serve as a reason for you and people around you to be honest with your child and not treat them like they're dumb and unaware.
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Okay, so all of that was going on, and we are scrambling to save the money to pay the fees in order to get legal guardianship of our child.
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Much more expensive than we planned, as I said, all on a basically minimum wage income at that time, which started out part-time.
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Things were really tough, but we had an attorney that we trusted because she helped my spouse gain primary custody and then later on full custody of his son many, many years ago.
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And we just went right back to her, thankfully, even though she's elderly, she was still in business at the time, and she helped us out a great deal.
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We ended up dealing with her son, which I will talk about in this episode a few weeks basically down the line.
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Okay, so that is kind of the backstory of what's going on behind the scenes during all of this other stuff I'm getting ready to share with you.
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Where I left off was that they shared two videos that I told you about that are on that YouTube channel.
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That YouTube email was sent on February 21st of 2019.
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I didn't get another email thread until March 14th of 19.
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It's from the principal.
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She says, Here is some information for Academy for Autism.
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Their director is able to meet with you and discuss his program.
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Here's a link to their website.
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I have also emailed Easter seals, but they typically do not respond quickly.
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Well, that was fast, right?
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All of a sudden, we're getting information a month later about other schools.
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So here's what happened.
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They had that behavior team come in the way that we asked for, and they admitted that they didn't have the capacity to help our son.
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So in that situation, the school is responsible for finding placement outside of themselves and arranging transportation and all the fees are paid by the school and all of that.
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So that's the road that we are now going down because the school and the behavioral team, they don't think that the school can do it.
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She said that they emailed Easter Seals.
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That's actually who diagnosed him in the first place when he was a toddler.
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So we were kind of happy to hear that she would email them for us.
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I don't know.
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We just had some kind of a trust thing with them, you know, since they did all of this therapy.
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They did some stuff with him and his dad, I think I told you about, where they just videoed playtime and then went over the videos with him and explained what it was, what was going on and how to interact with him and stuff like that.
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So we just, you know, we had a soft spot for them and we just thought, well, this this might be full circle.
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This might be okay, you know.
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And so we were also excited to learn that since this school already wasn't meeting our standards for our child, they were finding a school right near our house called Academy for Autism.
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I mean, it's really not that far from the house.
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So we were really excited, like, wow, there's actually a school called that.
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That's amazing.
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And then I sent them an email in response to that, telling them that we would like to view or have copies of all of the videos taken of our son, both by the behavior specialists and by your staff.
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Please advise.
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You may have seen uh a year or two ago, I made a post on social media with our son running around a classroom crying, screaming, and just throwing an absolute fit.
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I tried to blur out the faces of the teachers and paras that were there, but you can hear them laughing at some point.
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And that was given to us after we sent that email.
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I know I mentioned this before.
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I didn't like that they were laughing, but at the same time, sometimes that's all you can do is laugh when he's doing that.
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I mean, there's sometimes there's just nothing else.
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So I didn't want to harp on that too much, but I feel that it's important to mention that to you because you may not receive the videos that people are taking of your child when they're studying your child, and you want to make sure that you ask for those because you deserve to see what they're seeing, because otherwise they're out there making decisions about how to handle your kid and you don't understand why, and you need to see that stuff.
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So make sure that you ask for that.
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We had another IEP right around this time of this email that I just shared with you, and we met with the directors of a few different local programs around here.
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One of them was called TCRC, and TCRC was directed by this man who was very nice and turned out to be the son of that lawyer that helped us with guardianship of our son.
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He walks into the room and he sits down and he opens up all his stuff.
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And, you know, this is a first for us.
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We have never sat down across the table from people outside of our son's school as prospective people who are going to, you know, take care of our son's education or life skills or whatever.
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So we're sitting there, we know already that this school we're at doesn't want our kid and can't handle our kid.
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So here comes this guy.
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He spreads out all his stuff, he looks us in the eyes, and he says, All right, do you have any resources or even family outside of Illinois?
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And we just looked at him, he said, Is there any possibility that you can leave the state?
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We were like, Well, no.
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He says, Well, damn, um, it's really best to have your son taken care of outside of Illinois.
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There's nothing here for a child like yours.
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So that, I don't know, I guess all I can say is that was pretty devastating, but that was the first thing he had to say.
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He didn't want to tell us about his program or his organization or anyone else's organization.
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He didn't have any good stuff to say about any resources in this state.
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And that, I believe, is when we found out that the list that you can get on in every state, there's a list, right?
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In this state, it's called the Puns List.
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And at that point in 2019, we learned that that list for getting services for your child had a 35-year-long waiting list.
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So for the longest time, we didn't even try.
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We were all we were focused on was trying to get out of this state.
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Because why?
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Why bother?
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You know, he would be almost 60 by the time he got services, and no one would be around to help him.
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We gotta get out of here.
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That's all we can think of.
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So now, add on top of all the other behind-the-scenes stuff, now we're running our brains all the time trying to figure out how the hell do we get out of this state that's chewing up all our money, taking all of our resources.
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There's no how how?
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How do you do it?
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So there's another ball of stress added on to this situation.
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And then we didn't receive another email until June 21st.
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And the thread goes until July 8th.
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So June 21st, I emailed the principal.
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I said, Hi Jill, we just wanted to let you know that we received a rejection letter from TCRC yesterday.
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That's the guy I was just telling you about.
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And it's not personal, that's just they don't they don't want to take care of him or whatever.
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But what I learned about TCRC is that they really want you to work, they want your kids to have skills and be able to do stuff.
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And I was going to a local gym, it was actually Planet Fitness that I was going to at the time, and they had a special dude there who every day he was there with uh a worker, someone who was just watching him all morning, and he would walk around and spray and wipe the equipment down every single morning.
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And I believe he was from that program that our son got rejected from.
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And that's fine with me because I neither one of us wants our kid handling chemicals and wiping stuff down.
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He doesn't have enough sense to do stuff like that.
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And we told them that we don't want him cleaning bathrooms and doing the things that you you're talking about.
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He doesn't have the sense to do it.
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He just he does I don't know if it's the attention span or attention to detail or just the damn sense that you need to be able to handle a spray bottle of chemicals, but I know for sure he would spray that shit in his face, and I'm just not okay with that.
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I don't want him anywhere near that kind of stuff.
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So he got rejected basically because of noncompliance to their program by the parents saying no, he's not not allowed to handle those types of jobs.
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Um, so it was like a job placement for special people kind of.
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And the principal said, yes, I received one too.
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Have you reached out to this place called Epic?
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I left a message for you guys last week, and I said, No, we have not.
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Have you talked to them about placement at all?
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She says, Yes, I have.
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Back in May, I was asking general questions about their program.
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They have a life skills-based classroom as well as an autism classroom.
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Let me know when you talk with the lady there, and I can send records for her if you would like.
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There was not another email until July 30th, where she emailed me to say she was back to work full time to get ready for the new school year.
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And she wanted to know if we had spoken with that epic place or not, and I said, not yet.
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We had to change our phone numbers, completely forgot to update it with them, but we received a school supply list the other day for the life skills classroom at your school, and I need to find out if this is the right list.
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See, so if he's not yet placed in another program, he still legally is gonna have to go to their school.
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So that's why I'm inquiring about that here.
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So I told her last year we received this same list.
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We bought all the supplies and then learned that he would not be in that class, and we had to shop for a second list for the other class, but we've been really out of touch with everything lately, and we haven't checked on registration dates or the first day of school or anything, and we plan to get him started on a gentle heavy metal detox in September, hoping the end result will be more emotional stability.
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It will last for several months.
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Could you please ask that epic place to contact us or do whatever it is you need them to do?
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We feel like we're in limbo and don't know where our son will be going for school.
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We appreciate your help.
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She replied, The letter that you received is for the classroom Jacob will be in this year.
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So that school supply list is correct.
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I left a message with the lady at Epic to call me back.
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You are free to contact her as well.
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She is their placement specialist.
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We sent a letter for registration, which is today from 11 to 7 and tomorrow from 8 to 3.
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All of our students need to complete this registration process.
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The first day of school is August 14th.
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With the detox, will Jacob still be planning on attending school?
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Thank you for getting back to me.
00:19:41.680 --> 00:19:46.880
We will plan on Jacob attending school here while we look at Epic as a placement option.
00:19:46.880 --> 00:19:50.480
So, yes, he was going to be attending school during the detox.
00:19:50.480 --> 00:19:52.559
It was uh it was zeolite.
00:19:52.559 --> 00:19:55.039
Z-E-O-L-I-T-E, perhaps.
00:19:55.039 --> 00:19:57.759
And it came in these blue bottles and it was a spray.
00:19:57.759 --> 00:19:59.359
Um, didn't do shit for him.
00:19:59.359 --> 00:20:01.519
Supposedly, it helped other people.
00:20:01.519 --> 00:20:09.759
My dear friend that I've told you about, who has a son with severe autism, she thought she noticed a difference, but he still has severe autism, and he's I don't think he's any different.
00:20:09.759 --> 00:20:14.960
And she did that for months and months and months, and I did it for months, but our kid didn't notice a difference either.
00:20:14.960 --> 00:20:15.599
I don't know.
00:20:15.599 --> 00:20:19.279
You know, we'll try almost anything as long as it's not harmful.
00:20:19.279 --> 00:20:25.680
And it was supposed to be able to chelate these heavy metals out of his body by just spraying it in his mouth.
00:20:25.680 --> 00:20:34.880
And in my experience, it did not work, and it definitely didn't work long term for my friend's child because he's still got it.
00:20:34.880 --> 00:20:35.920
You know what I mean?
00:20:35.920 --> 00:20:38.000
So he's still nonverbal.
00:20:38.000 --> 00:20:42.720
Um, there are no improvements from using that product on either of our children.
00:20:42.720 --> 00:20:44.160
In case you are looking.
00:20:44.160 --> 00:20:52.640
And if you have had any success in stuff like that, please email me at contact.parenting severe autism at gmail.com.
00:20:52.640 --> 00:20:55.680
If there's something different that you did, I would love to know about it.
00:20:55.680 --> 00:21:08.079
I don't know if I would ever try it again, but if you have some really amazing story and some really amazing technique, I would love to hear about it because I'm always interested in helping him feel better and function better.
00:21:08.079 --> 00:21:11.839
All right, and then the next email we got was August 2nd.
00:21:11.839 --> 00:21:21.839
I let her know that we registered him the day before, and as far as we know, everything was good to go, and asked her to let me know if she heard anything different.
00:21:21.839 --> 00:21:31.440
So she says she talked with a lady over there at Epic, and the lady's gonna call us to set an appointment for all of us to go and visit, hopefully next week.
00:21:31.440 --> 00:21:39.839
And the lady definitely wants to meet our son so that she can assess what program they have to meet his needs, and she will be calling us.
00:21:39.839 --> 00:21:49.519
I replied to her that I spoke with that lady and we would be going out there all together, the three of us, to meet her and look at their facility next Monday.
00:21:49.519 --> 00:22:04.720
His behaviors and emotional stability have improved greatly over the last few months, and we think he deserves a chance to participate in the Life Skills program at the Regular high school before making a final decision about Epic or any other placement.
00:22:04.720 --> 00:22:09.440
He has been sleeping through the night and we haven't seen the scratching or hitting his head.
00:22:09.440 --> 00:22:15.200
He's really been doing great and showing us the best behavior we have seen in a very long time.
00:22:15.200 --> 00:22:16.960
So it is a very long time.
00:22:16.960 --> 00:22:23.359
I mean, we're talking maybe two or three years since he slept through the night and wasn't hitting his head on stuff.
00:22:23.359 --> 00:22:24.880
So yeah, big improvement.
00:22:24.880 --> 00:22:26.640
So she says, thanks for the update.
00:22:26.640 --> 00:22:29.039
I'm glad things have improved over the summer months.
00:22:29.039 --> 00:22:34.480
We are willing to start the year with Jacob in our classroom, as his current IEP states.
00:22:34.480 --> 00:22:42.880
If we want to consider making a placement change, then we would need to meet as a team and discuss options and make a change to his IEP.
00:22:42.880 --> 00:22:46.480
At this point, his IEP has him at our high school.
00:22:46.480 --> 00:22:57.039
I appreciate you looking and taking time to take Jacob to Epic so that we will know if it is even a possibility for him if we need to discuss changing placement.
00:22:57.039 --> 00:23:11.279
And then not another communication until August 19th, where I emailed the behavior people in Wisconsin again to have them forward the behavior papers that they created because the teacher lost them.
00:23:11.279 --> 00:23:13.440
I am not fond of this teacher.
00:23:13.440 --> 00:23:22.960
Okay, and then that same teacher actually emailed us to ask us to send the foods list again, the list of foods that he can and cannot have.
00:23:22.960 --> 00:23:24.559
I thought that was very nice.
00:23:24.559 --> 00:23:29.440
I feel like people are looking out for my kid when they admit that they lost something and they ask me for it.
00:23:29.440 --> 00:23:30.720
I appreciated that.
00:23:30.720 --> 00:23:42.480
I had sent an email that says, I also wanted to specify that Jacob is not to use any hand sanitizers, as his skin is prone to cracking and bleeding from the harsh chemicals.
00:23:42.480 --> 00:23:50.559
If he does dishes and uses any soap other than what we actually send for him, he is to use dish gloves, which we will also send.
00:23:50.559 --> 00:23:56.480
He is only to use the toothpaste that we send for him, nothing with fluoride, and that's all I can think of right now.
00:23:56.480 --> 00:23:59.599
So yeah, see, I mean, we're very involved with this stuff, you know.
00:23:59.599 --> 00:24:04.400
He has had this cracking and bleeding problem since about 2010.
00:24:04.400 --> 00:24:15.279
They were using a lot of harsh soaps at his school and hand sanitizers in between every activity, and that's what was doing it was the alcohol and the winter months.
00:24:15.279 --> 00:24:18.240
I mean, for the most part, you're in school during cold weather.
00:24:18.240 --> 00:24:20.480
And, you know, he's always in such a hurry.
00:24:20.480 --> 00:24:22.400
He doesn't dry his hands properly.
00:24:22.400 --> 00:24:24.640
He just he needs to be cared for differently.
00:24:24.640 --> 00:24:35.680
He cannot be just treated like everyone else and allowed to run amuck like everyone else because he will air dry and he will crack and bleed, and it's a disaster.
00:24:35.680 --> 00:24:40.000
Because once he's in pain, now we have to deal with that and he has to deal with that.
00:24:40.000 --> 00:24:41.119
And it's just dumb.
00:24:41.119 --> 00:24:48.079
And then and sometimes he doesn't even seem like he is in pain most of the time, and the sometimes the blood just gets everywhere.
00:24:48.079 --> 00:24:56.400
I mean, he's just bleeding and bleeding and bleeding, so we just don't allow that hand sanitizer or any alcohol chemicals on his skin.
00:24:56.400 --> 00:25:01.599
And with the toothpaste, we had been using Kiss My Face toothpaste.
00:25:01.599 --> 00:25:04.559
It had no fluoride and it was a really big tube.
00:25:04.559 --> 00:25:07.680
And then um, all of a sudden we couldn't find that anymore.
00:25:07.680 --> 00:25:13.119
So now we use earth paste, it's just mineral-based like clay and anyway.
00:25:13.119 --> 00:25:17.599
There's no fluoride in it, and there's no chemicals in it, and there's no glycerin in it.
00:25:17.599 --> 00:25:21.759
So I don't know if you know, but glycerin is not really great in toothpaste.
00:25:21.759 --> 00:25:24.559
And of course, fluoride is, in my opinion, a scam.
00:25:24.559 --> 00:25:25.680
I'm a weird one, I know.
00:25:25.680 --> 00:25:27.359
You don't have to agree with me.
00:25:27.359 --> 00:25:33.599
That's just what I believe in, and that's how we take care of our whole family, is without chemicals and fluorides and crap.
00:25:33.599 --> 00:25:35.599
So she says, thank you for the information.
00:25:35.599 --> 00:25:37.440
She printed out the foods list.
00:25:37.440 --> 00:25:43.680
Then she says, hello, I just received notification that the annual IEP meeting is coming up very quickly.
00:25:43.680 --> 00:25:45.839
The date for him is Monday, September 9th.
00:25:45.839 --> 00:25:47.920
I have a 1235 and a 140.
00:25:47.920 --> 00:25:49.119
Which of these would you prefer?
00:25:49.119 --> 00:25:50.640
So this is August 15th.
00:25:50.640 --> 00:25:55.680
And I don't know, the way she wrote that, it's like an emergency, you know, I'm like, sh you're stressing me out.
00:25:55.680 --> 00:25:56.559
Calm down.
00:25:56.559 --> 00:26:00.160
So I picked a time and didn't say anything else to her on that.
00:26:00.160 --> 00:26:07.359
And then we started uh already getting problems um after school started with the lunchroom.
00:26:07.359 --> 00:26:08.400
That was the first thing.
00:26:08.400 --> 00:26:15.759
So I emailed them on August 19th and said, hi, we're thinking that Jacob has a problem with larger rooms, like the lunchroom.
00:26:15.759 --> 00:26:20.240
He acts like he thinks he has to fill every room with his presence.
00:26:20.240 --> 00:26:23.839
And we had that problem when we first moved here in the grocery store.
00:26:23.839 --> 00:26:29.920
You might remember that's how I met the lady that told us about the parent support group that didn't work out for us.
00:26:29.920 --> 00:26:38.720
She spotted us right away and approached us because we were at the grocery store and he thought that he would need to fill that entire store with his presence.
00:26:38.720 --> 00:26:43.599
He didn't used to be like that, but as he got older, he just got weird.
00:26:43.599 --> 00:26:52.000
So I asked if there's any way for him to have lunch in a smaller room or just an area, and I think we may see an improvement.
00:26:52.000 --> 00:26:55.440
Oh, I said, and we may see an improvement, maybe.
00:26:55.440 --> 00:26:58.319
And I'm glad to see he had such a great day today.
00:26:58.319 --> 00:27:02.960
So the teacher says, I wanted to assess for a couple days how he did.
00:27:02.960 --> 00:27:07.839
Monday was rough as someone else was in his usual spot.
00:27:07.839 --> 00:27:12.559
However, the next day we made sure that did not happen and he was fine.
00:27:12.559 --> 00:27:14.880
See, the routine for him is very important.
00:27:14.880 --> 00:27:21.599
I'm still to this day trying to remind people, friends and family, about the importance of routine in his life.
00:27:21.599 --> 00:27:25.519
Anyway, she says once he is done eating, he doesn't stay there.
00:27:25.519 --> 00:27:28.720
He comes up to the room with one of the paras every time.
00:27:28.720 --> 00:27:31.920
If it does become a problem, he can always eat somewhere else.
00:27:31.920 --> 00:27:34.160
That brings me into my next question.
00:27:34.160 --> 00:27:42.960
Are you and your spouse available to come see me tomorrow night during Meet the Teacher at 6 30 for a meeting with the principal?
00:27:42.960 --> 00:27:50.319
We have some issues that we need to discuss regarding some expectations for him to be able to be part of this program.
00:27:50.319 --> 00:27:53.759
And I replied, we are not available for Meet the Teacher.
00:27:53.759 --> 00:27:55.279
We are available on Mondays.
00:27:55.279 --> 00:28:04.240
I already expressed concerns to the principal a couple weeks ago about whether he would be booted out of the program at the last minute again, just like last year.
00:28:04.240 --> 00:28:08.480
She assured me that he is going to be in the program this year.
00:28:08.480 --> 00:28:13.680
If you can call my spouse, he can give you some up-to-date advice on how to deal with some things.
00:28:13.680 --> 00:28:14.960
And I gave the phone number.
00:28:14.960 --> 00:28:19.039
Just let us know what time you would like to call and he'll make sure he's available.
00:28:19.039 --> 00:28:20.319
She says, Okay, thanks.
00:28:20.319 --> 00:28:24.960
There's only one Monday with Labor Day coming before his IEP, and I am not available for that.
00:28:24.960 --> 00:28:28.000
We can just discuss what we need to at the IEP.
00:28:28.000 --> 00:28:32.880
That actually gives me the opportunity to see how he does over the next couple weeks.
00:28:32.880 --> 00:28:38.400
This is just a very different program than what he was in last year with another teacher.
00:28:38.400 --> 00:28:40.720
So I wanted to speak with you about that.
00:28:40.720 --> 00:28:45.759
If you happen to be free on any day besides a Monday, let me know and we can meet.
00:28:45.759 --> 00:28:49.440
I just prefer to speak with you in person and have plenty of time to do that.
00:28:49.440 --> 00:28:51.440
I believe it was just my work schedule.
00:28:51.440 --> 00:29:00.319
I think we were closed on Mondays, so that was the only day that I was available because of the full-time hours that I now had to work or lose my job.
00:29:00.319 --> 00:29:12.880
And they just they were not very lenient or friendly with, hey, I have to go to a meeting and I worked all the way until close, from open to close at this place.
00:29:12.880 --> 00:29:16.960
I would not have been able to make it, and they they would not let me get off early.
00:29:16.960 --> 00:29:24.160
They treated everybody very poorly, if, God forbid, you had to take some time off to deal with family stuff, even if it was an hour.
00:29:24.160 --> 00:29:28.400
So that was just adding a lot of stress to my plate on both ends.
00:29:28.400 --> 00:29:32.799
Um, on the same day, I sent an email that says, sounds great, thank you very much.
00:29:32.799 --> 00:29:36.640
We recommend Jake getting his snack around 10 30 a.m.
00:29:36.640 --> 00:29:43.440
And she says, I will certainly do that when we are here at the school, but with all of our travels, we cannot always get that to him at that time.
00:29:43.440 --> 00:29:46.559
Do you realize that lunch is served at 10 55?
00:29:46.559 --> 00:29:50.640
We are always back in the afternoon with one o'clock work.
00:29:50.640 --> 00:29:52.480
And then that email stops.
00:29:52.480 --> 00:29:58.319
A few days later, on August 24th, I said, I forgot to email you earlier in the week.
00:29:58.319 --> 00:30:05.599
My spouse would like the opportunity to speak with you over the phone to offer some insight into how to deal with Jacob's behaviors.
00:30:05.599 --> 00:30:07.279
Now, actually, I did email that.
00:30:07.279 --> 00:30:08.400
I just read that to you.
00:30:08.400 --> 00:30:10.319
Um, she chose to ignore it, I believe.
00:30:10.319 --> 00:30:14.880
So I said, please let us know when would be a good time to talk to you in the upcoming week.
00:30:14.880 --> 00:30:19.039
Also, the rice krispies treats that you asked about are okay.
00:30:19.039 --> 00:30:22.640
However, the amount of sugar in the marshmallows is a concern.
00:30:22.640 --> 00:30:25.680
He really should eat no more than half of a treat.
00:30:25.680 --> 00:30:29.839
He has a sugar-free diet, and we make homemade marshmallows with honey.
00:30:29.839 --> 00:30:35.920
When he is exposed to sugar, he becomes very difficult, all caps, very quickly.
00:30:35.920 --> 00:30:49.279
We'll sign the thing for Epic to be invited to the IEP meeting, but we recently visited the place and expressed our desire for him to be around peers and kids his own age, and we were informed that there are none there.
00:30:49.279 --> 00:30:53.759
We really don't want him stuck hanging around with a bunch of 40-year-old guys all day.
00:30:53.759 --> 00:30:57.599
He needs and deserves people his own age around him.
00:30:57.599 --> 00:30:58.160
Thank you.
00:30:58.160 --> 00:30:59.359
I'll get back to that in a minute.
00:30:59.359 --> 00:31:00.720
I'm just gonna finish this thread.
00:31:00.720 --> 00:31:05.440
She says, My prep period is first thing in the morning, about 8 to 8.30.
00:31:05.440 --> 00:31:09.359
I have the ability to speak on a Wednesday from 2.15 to 3 15.
00:31:09.359 --> 00:31:13.599
I can also speak after school from about 2 50 to 3 15.
00:31:13.599 --> 00:31:19.119
My son's soccer season is starting, so I'm rushing out the door at 3 15 almost daily.
00:31:19.119 --> 00:31:20.480
I said, okay, thank you.
00:31:20.480 --> 00:31:22.960
Should he call the main school line and ask for you?
00:31:22.960 --> 00:31:28.319
She said the phones are set up not to ring in during the school day, so it would go to voicemail.
00:31:28.319 --> 00:31:31.599
If you give me a date and one of those times, I can call him.
00:31:31.599 --> 00:31:33.759
That was at 6 58 in the morning.
00:31:33.759 --> 00:31:43.359
And then on that same day at 4 30 in the afternoon, she says, Hello, I am asking that we meet ASAP and not have a phone call.
00:31:43.359 --> 00:31:52.400
Jacob's behavior is affecting the education of the other students, and I have some safety concerns for the students and my staff.
00:31:52.400 --> 00:31:55.200
We're still in the first month of the new school year here.
00:31:55.200 --> 00:32:05.920
I got this email opened the next morning, so at 7 50 in the morning the next day, I said, Well, I don't understand why you would not call the parents when you have a problem with the child.
00:32:05.920 --> 00:32:08.000
You cannot rely on email.
00:32:08.000 --> 00:32:13.839
We never got the other email about you not wanting to deliver his snacks at the proper time either.
00:32:13.839 --> 00:32:21.200
If you look at his records from last year, it is from doctor's orders that he eat a snack at a certain time.
00:32:21.200 --> 00:32:25.359
I will be available tomorrow Wednesday morning if that works for you to meet.
00:32:25.359 --> 00:32:31.599
In the future, if you have important business about our son, you really should call on the phone.
00:32:31.599 --> 00:32:41.680
So I mean, seriously, if you have concerns about safety of the staff and the students, you would wait for an email to find me?
00:32:41.680 --> 00:32:47.359
Like, there's so much proof that I didn't get most of the emails in a timely manner.
00:32:47.359 --> 00:32:49.839
What do you think happens when he leaves the school?
00:32:49.839 --> 00:32:53.440
You think I'm just sitting around waiting for people to talk to me on the internet?
00:32:53.440 --> 00:32:55.440
No, I'm fucking busy.
00:32:55.440 --> 00:32:56.319
Geez.
00:32:56.319 --> 00:32:58.480
If I'm not at work, I'm taking care of the kid.
00:32:58.480 --> 00:33:00.559
If I am at work, my spouse is taking care of the kid.
00:33:00.559 --> 00:33:02.000
There's just there's no way.
00:33:02.000 --> 00:33:03.759
Man.
00:33:03.759 --> 00:33:06.720
Okay, so getting back to that email about Epic, yeah.
00:33:06.720 --> 00:33:21.920
We went there and first I would just like to say if you have not had to do this kind of touring facilities for potentially sending your kid to another facility, um, it's stressful as hell.
00:33:21.920 --> 00:33:22.480
Okay.
00:33:22.480 --> 00:33:27.519
You have to face a lot of realities that you never even thought of.
00:33:27.519 --> 00:33:40.720
I mean, the anxiety from the prospect of having to put our kid in even a temporary situation of a group home is is just over the top.
00:33:40.720 --> 00:33:53.440
My spouse was so freaked out because I mean, you're dealing with a lot of reality of like, okay, my kid is being rejected from a main school.
00:33:53.440 --> 00:33:58.160
My kid has been rejected from two other schools.
00:33:58.160 --> 00:34:00.640
Oh, let me tell you about that one in a second.
00:34:00.640 --> 00:34:06.480
Now I have to go to this other place, and so it's just rejection after rejection.
00:34:06.480 --> 00:34:15.840
It's almost like you are interviewing on behalf of your son for him to get a job or a home or accepted anywhere.
00:34:15.840 --> 00:34:17.280
And it's stressful.
00:34:17.280 --> 00:34:34.159
My spouse had just had a run-in with our son trying to restrain him from hurting himself, and our son planted his foot in my spouse's torso and cracked a few of his ribs.
00:34:34.159 --> 00:34:40.639
So my spouse was in so much pain having to protect his ribs.
00:34:40.639 --> 00:34:49.440
And I don't know if you notice, but you use your ribs for everything when you're walking and standing and driving and moving, and it was just so stressful.
00:34:49.440 --> 00:35:02.880
That alone, just constantly trying to protect himself, wanting to drive the vehicle to the place and not knowing where it was, and having to get the kid to agree to go in the car, and there was just so much stress.
00:35:02.880 --> 00:35:16.159
And I actually found that a straight CBD cannabis strain did wonders for him for healing because CBD will heal bones, and it took the pain away, and it takes the edge off with your anxiety.
00:35:16.159 --> 00:35:23.519
So I became a huge believer in CBD flour for adults to use in situations like this.
00:35:23.519 --> 00:35:35.360
It really helped him calm down and get a level head and not be so stressed out, both about protecting his pain and protecting his son and protecting his own sanity.
00:35:35.360 --> 00:35:37.199
It was it was a lot, you know.
00:35:37.199 --> 00:35:46.880
So if you ever have to go and do this, I want you to know that it could hit you harder than you expect, because it did hit us pretty freaking hard.
00:35:46.880 --> 00:35:53.679
So we go, we finally get into the facility, and it's dark in every room we go to.
00:35:53.679 --> 00:36:08.800
We went into this one room off to the right, and there were a bunch of 40-year-old dudes sitting around in like wheelchairs and playing weird beaded games, and it was dark, the lights were out, the curtains were drawn, it was really strange.
00:36:08.800 --> 00:36:15.599
There was like a low hospital grade lighting on, maybe like the one in the kitchen that I hate that I talk about all the time.
00:36:15.599 --> 00:36:22.079
Uh, and then we go off to the left and down the hall, we found uh like a kitchen that was exciting.
00:36:22.079 --> 00:36:25.440
We're always excited to see a nice big cooking area.
00:36:25.440 --> 00:36:45.679
And then down the hall from that on the left side was an even darker room, and it was filled with adults basically sleeping on mattresses on the floor in diapers, um, like literally shitting themselves and workers just sitting there letting it happen.
00:36:45.679 --> 00:36:57.920
I mean, we were just horrified at what we saw, and while we're there, we were trying to interview with that lady that wanted to interview us and see if they had a fit for our child.
00:36:57.920 --> 00:37:06.480
So we're in the office, and I know I just got done bragging to the school about how we're getting such better behavior out of our son, but we're at this office.
00:37:06.480 --> 00:37:21.760
He throws he he throws his shoes off of his feet and down the hall, and then starts running down the fucking hall, screaming, booming his voice everywhere, and we're like, we know everyone's asleep, you know, and we're like, hey, come back here, you know.
00:37:21.760 --> 00:37:25.199
It was pretty much a nightmare right from the start.
00:37:25.199 --> 00:37:29.440
So, yes, we got rejected from that place as well.
00:37:29.440 --> 00:37:50.159
And then when I said just a minute ago that we have already been rejected from two places, yeah, we were rejected from TCRC, and I believe it's because they couldn't meet his low-functioning needs, but then we got rejected from the Academy for Autism that I was so excited about that I just told you about.
00:37:50.159 --> 00:37:51.280
Yeah, you know why?
00:37:51.280 --> 00:37:54.800
Because he is too autistic.
00:37:54.800 --> 00:37:57.119
Yes, I said that.
00:37:57.119 --> 00:37:58.719
That's what they told us.
00:37:58.719 --> 00:38:07.360
The Academy for Autism said that our child with autism was too autistic to go to their academy.
00:38:07.360 --> 00:38:15.440
So yeah, we were feeling really great about life around this time and really starting to lose our patience with people like this.
00:38:15.440 --> 00:38:21.760
So even though we were hopeful and trying to make a good impression, you know, they need to make a good impression on us too.
00:38:21.760 --> 00:38:32.800
And when we walk in and see a bunch of middle-aged men laying around and adult men and women laying around shitting themselves in the dark, no, no, we don't want our child to be there.
00:38:32.800 --> 00:38:34.960
So we're glad to accept your rejection.
00:38:34.960 --> 00:38:35.760
Thank you.
00:38:35.760 --> 00:38:38.079
There's really not a lot to choose from out here.
00:38:38.079 --> 00:38:46.719
And every single time we get rejected from somewhere, we remember what Greg said, the guy from TCRC, about needing to get the hell out of Illinois.
00:38:46.719 --> 00:38:52.880
If you are anywhere outside of Illinois, don't think about moving to Illinois if you have a child like ours.
00:38:52.880 --> 00:39:03.119
You know, I wouldn't move here anyway, even if I didn't have a child like ours, because this state is just absolutely crooked and not great and very expensive, not even worth it.
00:39:03.119 --> 00:39:17.760
On that same day, August 27th, I sent another email at 9 50 in the morning that says, if you are not able to meet in person as you requested tomorrow morning, please call me at 2 15 when you are available.
00:39:17.760 --> 00:39:21.360
Everything I have to say to you on the phone is going to help you.
00:39:21.360 --> 00:39:25.199
I believe that's my spouse, actually, but I'm I send the emails.
00:39:25.199 --> 00:39:30.880
And then at 1120, she says, Did you schedule something with Jill, the principal?
00:39:30.880 --> 00:39:32.800
I haven't had a chance to speak with her yet.
00:39:32.800 --> 00:39:34.480
Yes, tomorrow morning is fine.
00:39:34.480 --> 00:39:36.239
What time did you arrange with her?
00:39:36.239 --> 00:39:39.440
I just want to make sure I don't need to get a sub.
00:39:39.440 --> 00:39:46.800
Okay, so then three minutes later, the same teacher emailed and said, Jill made me aware that she has not called you yet.
00:39:46.800 --> 00:39:50.559
She was going to call you to set something up, but she hasn't had the chance.
00:39:50.559 --> 00:39:52.639
I would like her to attend the meeting as well.
00:39:52.639 --> 00:39:54.639
If you can meet tomorrow morning, that's great.
00:39:54.639 --> 00:39:58.800
With it being a late start day, we will need to meet at 7 30 or 9.
00:39:58.800 --> 00:40:01.760
We are leaving for the grocery store second hour.
00:40:01.760 --> 00:40:02.400
Thank you.
00:40:02.400 --> 00:40:05.840
And then I immediately replied, the 9 a.m.
00:40:05.840 --> 00:40:06.960
time works on my end.
00:40:06.960 --> 00:40:08.639
If something comes up, please let me know.
00:40:08.639 --> 00:40:10.000
Otherwise, I will see you then.
00:40:10.000 --> 00:40:10.480
Thank you.
00:40:10.480 --> 00:40:13.360
And yes, this is my husband talking.
00:40:13.360 --> 00:40:20.480
I don't know how he managed to figure out email, but uh there's no way I was gonna be able to do this stuff because I had to go to work.
00:40:20.480 --> 00:40:21.920
And she says that's perfect.
00:40:21.920 --> 00:40:25.679
We can just plan on meeting on the special services conference room.
00:40:25.679 --> 00:40:26.400
Thank you.
00:40:26.400 --> 00:40:41.280
And then two days later, I said to the principal, hi, I just met someone at work at the dispensary who runs an organization for special needs people with activities which include life skills education for children and adults.
00:40:41.280 --> 00:40:46.320
If you have time, please let us know if it qualifies as an alternative for our son.
00:40:46.320 --> 00:40:51.519
And it's called campbigsky.org, in case you're wondering, you can check that out.
00:40:51.519 --> 00:40:52.960
I will look into it, she says.
00:40:52.960 --> 00:40:57.440
I was only aware of their camping opportunities, not a daily life skills program.
00:40:57.440 --> 00:40:59.119
Did they mention a daily program?
00:40:59.119 --> 00:41:02.000
I will call or email and see what options they have.
00:41:02.000 --> 00:41:08.079
And I said yes, he did mention a daily program for special needs kids and adults, which included life skills.
00:41:08.079 --> 00:41:16.559
We are also wondering, will our son be receiving speech and OT services on the two days that he will be attending school?
00:41:16.559 --> 00:41:27.519
Okay, so during the meeting that we had on August 28th, her concerns were so great that we had to reduce his presence at the school down to two days.
00:41:27.519 --> 00:41:30.880
And we are still in the first month of school of 2019.
00:41:30.880 --> 00:41:36.880
So, yes, now we're concerned about whether our child is going to receive the services that he actually needs.
00:41:36.880 --> 00:41:39.280
He doesn't need regular education.
00:41:39.280 --> 00:41:44.639
I mean, at this point in his life, he needs life skills and he needs speech.
00:41:44.639 --> 00:41:48.079
And OT, we think of as part of life skills, honestly.
00:41:48.079 --> 00:41:58.960
I know I've complained before about the availability of these services for our child, and it's not their fault, it's the district's fault or the Illinois lawmaker's fault.
00:41:58.960 --> 00:42:03.119
I'm not sure how high up it goes, but it's definitely not the therapist's fault.
00:42:03.119 --> 00:42:14.960
So, anyway, the principal replied to that question by saying speech will be moving her times to Monday and Wednesday, and we'll be individual, but will be the same minutes.
00:42:14.960 --> 00:42:17.039
For OT, I have sent an email.
00:42:17.039 --> 00:42:23.360
They have 30 minutes a month available, so I will work with them so that they come on Monday and Wednesday.
00:42:23.360 --> 00:42:29.119
I have sent an email to the Big Sky campground and will let you know what I hear back from them.
00:42:29.119 --> 00:42:36.480
So Monday and Wednesday, we agreed on that because that gives him a day in between instead of going back to back.
00:42:36.480 --> 00:42:47.119
Because now, if you're only gonna have him two days a week, you definitely can't put those two days together and have him know school for the whole rest of the week and then bam bam, you know.
00:42:47.119 --> 00:42:49.280
So he's got to have some breathing time.
00:42:49.280 --> 00:42:53.760
If it's not gonna be routine routine, then it's gotta be a different kind of routine.
00:42:53.760 --> 00:42:57.519
And it's just obviously getting really crazy.
00:42:57.519 --> 00:43:07.840
The final one that I have for you today is the principal says she's waiting to talk to someone at Camp Big Sky about their life skills programming options.
00:43:07.840 --> 00:43:10.880
I will let you know as soon as I hear back from them.
00:43:10.880 --> 00:43:14.639
I do know that is a 30-minute drive out there.
00:43:14.639 --> 00:43:17.920
I also checked with Hammett School in Bloomington.
00:43:17.920 --> 00:43:21.119
I know we briefly discussed their program last year.
00:43:21.119 --> 00:43:24.320
They will have an opening in October and November.
00:43:24.320 --> 00:43:31.920
Our intent with shortened days is to add days back in and see if it helps with overall compliance.
00:43:31.920 --> 00:43:36.000
But I did want to mention Hammett as a possibility also.
00:43:36.000 --> 00:43:39.440
We can talk more at the IEP about our options.
00:43:39.440 --> 00:43:49.360
So, what's going on here is very strange because yes, they have been talking to us about this Hammett school in Bloomington, and they call this a behavioral school.
00:43:49.360 --> 00:43:57.599
Bloomington is approximately 40 minutes from here, but she's complaining about a 30 minute drive to a big, beautiful campground.
00:43:57.599 --> 00:43:58.480
So, whatever.
00:43:58.480 --> 00:44:10.719
But we have Um mainly my spouse had some really strong concerns about sending him to Bloomington before we found out about this big sky one.
00:44:10.719 --> 00:44:21.840
Because my spouse did not want our son to freak out on a 40-minute drive on a school bus and get to the school and have them have to call us to go pick him up.
00:44:21.840 --> 00:44:29.679
And when we voiced that concern to the principal that I'm communicating with here at this high school, she said, oh no, that won't happen.
00:44:29.679 --> 00:44:31.360
This is a behavioral school.
00:44:31.360 --> 00:44:34.400
They don't send kids home when they misbehave.
00:44:34.400 --> 00:44:35.760
They don't call you.
00:44:35.760 --> 00:44:37.840
They handle it in school.
00:44:37.840 --> 00:44:40.639
They will not call you to come pick him up ever.
00:44:40.639 --> 00:44:44.480
He will stay at school until school's over and he will go home on the bus.
00:44:44.480 --> 00:44:47.519
And that didn't sit too well with us either, honestly.
00:44:47.519 --> 00:44:53.199
We didn't know, uh, we never did go and check out the Bloomington School because they actually didn't have any openings.
00:44:53.199 --> 00:44:59.519
The Autism Academy didn't have openings, and then suddenly they had three and we were not accepted into any of them.
00:44:59.519 --> 00:45:01.760
But Hammett never did have openings.
00:45:01.760 --> 00:45:13.760
They thought they would have one coming up soon at one point, but then the family ended up not moving, or the family moved and another kid slipped in there, but we weren't really comfortable with that idea anyway.
00:45:13.760 --> 00:45:17.360
So I think everything worked out the way it was supposed to with that.
00:45:17.360 --> 00:45:26.880
But I thought that was really interesting that we finally found a school who is known for not sending the kids home or calling the parents to come pick them up.
00:45:26.880 --> 00:45:29.119
That was completely foreign to us.
00:45:29.119 --> 00:45:31.440
I'm gonna leave that there for now.
00:45:31.440 --> 00:45:32.639
That's quite a lot.
00:45:32.639 --> 00:45:34.880
I hope you were able to get something out of that.
00:45:34.880 --> 00:45:38.400
It's a constant fight, is probably what you're gonna get out of it.
00:45:38.400 --> 00:45:54.400
Raising the child, having to figure out guardianship of the child, having to afford that when the child prevents you from being able to hold down a job, then trying to get some kind of lackey kind of job that no, now you can't even hardly do that because your son can't stay in school.
00:45:54.400 --> 00:45:57.360
Then you have to fight for your child's rights at school.
00:45:57.360 --> 00:46:03.519
But thankfully the the therapy services were able to move their days and times to work with him.
00:46:03.519 --> 00:46:10.719
That was really fortunate, and I'm glad that we chose those particular days and that they were able to move stuff around for him.
00:46:10.719 --> 00:46:14.159
But still, 30 minutes a month is not a lot, right?
00:46:14.159 --> 00:46:18.800
I mean, my kid takes 45 minutes to adjust to the new activity.
00:46:18.800 --> 00:46:21.039
So, I mean, we're just getting screwed there.
00:46:21.039 --> 00:46:24.079
Hey, do you guys have those same restrictions in your state?
00:46:24.079 --> 00:46:28.239
Is it a state by state thing or like a district by district thing?
00:46:28.239 --> 00:46:34.000
I'm not really even sure because my life was wrapped up in our small little world and I don't really know.
00:46:34.000 --> 00:46:38.719
Let me know if you have any other type of experience than what I am explaining here.
00:46:38.719 --> 00:46:41.599
And I just want to tell you real quick, um, something really cute.
00:46:41.599 --> 00:46:54.079
We're going through a huge, major heat wave right now here in Illinois, and he was so grumpy two days ago, which was like the second day of the heat wave, that his dad had to really get on him at night.
00:46:54.079 --> 00:46:57.199
I mean, it got really bad when it was bedtime.
00:46:57.199 --> 00:47:12.480
He was almost fine the whole day until bedtime, and I don't really understand it because he's got an air conditioner in his room, and it's so hot that it's not really pumping out the coldest air, but at least it's pumping out something cooler than what's outside.
00:47:12.480 --> 00:47:15.519
And all of a sudden he just got really crazy.
00:47:15.519 --> 00:47:24.000
But then last night I decided to do things a little bit differently, and I wanted to give him like a little sponge bath real quick in the kitchen.
00:47:24.000 --> 00:47:28.800
See, the air conditioner is in the dining room and it blows a little bit into the kitchen.
00:47:28.800 --> 00:47:34.960
And if you get him wet and that air hits him, he starts to get cooled, you know, and sometimes he'll be like, Oh, I'm cold.
00:47:34.960 --> 00:47:36.800
So I thought, well, what a great idea.
00:47:36.800 --> 00:47:37.599
Let's just do this.
00:47:37.599 --> 00:47:55.039
So I gave him a soapy sponge bath there at the sink, and first, of course, started it with like some lukewarm water to really get him clean, and then I went colder and colder and colder, and finally I used a big hand towel, and I finally had it to where it was just cold water, and I told him it's gonna be cold.
00:47:55.039 --> 00:47:55.519
Are you ready?
00:47:55.519 --> 00:47:56.559
He's like, Yeah, I'm ready.
00:47:56.559 --> 00:47:58.079
And he had his back to me.
00:47:58.079 --> 00:48:08.559
I started it at like the back of his head on his hair and slowly but quickly at the same time let it touch his neck and then down to his shoulders and then down his back.
00:48:08.559 --> 00:48:14.719
And as this was happening, he goes, Oh, it's cold, oh, you know, and he got so excited.
00:48:14.719 --> 00:48:20.000
And I did his whole torso arms face, I did everything with this cold, cold water.
00:48:20.000 --> 00:48:24.800
And then I told him to run upstairs to his bedroom and I would be right up there to put him in bed.
00:48:24.800 --> 00:48:31.199
So he's still damp and he's standing there, he's actually sitting on his bed taking off his shorts.
00:48:31.199 --> 00:48:36.800
See, he likes to go commando under his shorts because his dad wants him to wear underwear.
00:48:36.800 --> 00:48:39.920
So he thinks that I care and I don't care.
00:48:39.920 --> 00:48:41.599
I don't like underwear either.
00:48:41.599 --> 00:48:44.000
So I'm just like, I don't care, buddy, you know.
00:48:44.000 --> 00:48:52.079
But he he he's a little confused, he doesn't know it's like a Jekyll and hide between me and his dad, and he doesn't know who to behave for, you know.
00:48:52.079 --> 00:48:56.800
So he was standing there kind of like, uh, I don't know how to behave.
00:48:56.800 --> 00:49:01.760
I I have underwear in my hand, and I just ignore it and I just let him do his thing, you know.
00:49:01.760 --> 00:49:07.920
But I walked past him as he was dealing with his discomfort, and I said, I'm gonna get some oil, I'll be right back.
00:49:07.920 --> 00:49:08.800
He goes, Okay.
00:49:08.800 --> 00:49:13.360
So I went to the bathroom, I got the coconut oil, and I came back and I told him to turn around.
00:49:13.360 --> 00:49:18.800
I put some coconut oil in my hands and rubbed it together, and I said, Here it comes, I'm putting coconut oil on you.
00:49:18.800 --> 00:49:23.840
And I started at the nape of his neck and went down his arms, and he goes, Oh.
00:49:23.840 --> 00:49:28.880
And then he turned around and I did his chest and the other the rest of his arms.
00:49:28.880 --> 00:49:31.840
He goes, Oh, this is awesome.
00:49:31.840 --> 00:49:34.639
And I thought that was so funny.
00:49:34.639 --> 00:49:38.159
I came straight down here and told his dad, and now I had to tell you guys.
00:49:38.159 --> 00:49:42.960
And that's I think probably the cutest thing that I have to share with you right now.
00:49:42.960 --> 00:49:51.360
Hey, let me know if you have anything to share about your experience with schools as of late, whether it's good, bad, or otherwise.
00:49:51.360 --> 00:49:57.039
And if you have any questions about some of the stuff I've shared, I am more than happy to help with that too.
00:49:57.039 --> 00:50:03.039
You can always contact me at contact.parentingsevereautism at gmail.com.
00:50:03.039 --> 00:50:06.559
I'll be back in a couple of weeks with some more crazy emails.
00:50:06.559 --> 00:50:07.599
You hang in there.
00:50:07.599 --> 00:50:09.199
You're a superhero.