S9 EP9: Topless Driving

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Hello, I'm Rob Beckett.
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And I'm Josh Willicombe.
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Welcome to Parenting Hell, the show in which Josh and
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I discuss what it's really like to be a parent,
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which I would say can be a little tricky.
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So, to make ourselves, and hopefully you, feel better about
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the trials and tribulations of modern day parenting, each week
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we'll be chatting to a famous parent about how they're coping.
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Or hopefully how they're not coping.
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And we'll also be hearing from you, the listener, with
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your tips, advice, and of course, tales of parenting woe.
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Because let's be honest, there are plenty of times where
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none of us know what we're doing. Hello, you're listening
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to Parenting Hell with... Grace, can you.
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Say Rob Beckett? Rob Beckett. Can you say Josh Widdicombe?
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Josh Widdicombe. Jasmine, can you say Rob Beckett? Rob Beckett.
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And can you say Josh Widdicombe? Josh Widdicombe. And Robin,
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can you say Rob Beckett? Beckett. And can you say
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Josh Widdicombe? Widdicombe.
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Very good.
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Very good. Joshy Widdicombe.
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Do you know what I like to that? Do you
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know what put me off it?
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Robin. Robin as a name? Yeah.
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I've always felt, and this is no reflection on that Robin,
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I've always felt like.
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Which Robin?
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Well, that was a kid called Robin.
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Oh, that one there. Sorry, I thought that was... Yeah.
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Don't get me wrong, I like a bit of Robinhood. Yeah, yeah.
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Everyone did in the 90s, Brian Adams and such.
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I don't know, I've always felt like there's a bit
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of a class war between Rob and Robins.
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Who's that person? Sorry, I've had a guy with their
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son called Robin. We didn't get their full name. Oh, shit,
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we haven't talked about it.
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Sorry.
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Sorry, just absolutely Robin'd him off.
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Oh, Robin's a girl. Now that changes things. With a
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Y or an I? With a Y. Probably an R. Hey,
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bit of fun.
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Y or an I? Y. Yeah, I don't mind that.
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I mean, why? Why do you want an I? I'll
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tell you why.
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Sounds better. More careful than something wise. He's slick this morning. Oh,
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we've had a horrible morning this morning.
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I've had a terrible morning, Rob. This horrendous attitude. Well,
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let me read this out. Let me read this out.
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Here's my three little girls, Grace, Jasmine and Robin, giving
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the intro go. When I recorded, they were five, three
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and one. But by the time I've gotten around to
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sending it, they are six, four and two. Story of
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my life and three kids. Nothing ever gets done quickly.
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I've been listening since the beginning. To be fair.
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They're probably about nine now since how long it takes
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for them to get to the top of the email list.
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Well, I just looked. Classic Michael.
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Yeah.
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Obviously, it was sent 11 minutes past seven this morning. What?
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The actual clip?
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Yeah. Michael's chosen the most recent one. See, I like to.
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Think that, you know, in the sort of, you know,
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engine room of this podcast, Michael's got all of the
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clips laid out. He's working through them from quality order.
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Yeah.
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And there's a real system in place. But no, he's
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literally turned his computer on at seven. and then emailed
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the top one over, which that sums up life. And
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good on him because he's working. That was a great clip.
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Keep sending them. I've been listening since the beginning. My
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middle daughter was born just a few days before the
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first national lockdown.
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Oh.
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So with two under two, the pod was a real...
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National lockdown. National lockdown. There was a couple of local
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ones before this. I don't remember them. Two under two,
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the pod was a real saver. Lifesaver. My husband and
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I loved the laughs and came to see the show
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in Manchester on a very rare child-free evening. Please keep
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doing what you're doing for all our sakes. Amy... 428 months.
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Do you want to have a guess? Where they're from?
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We've had a guest who lives here.
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I think, well, they went to the Manchester one.
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Who was the.
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Guest at Manchester? Alex Brooker. Yeah, where does he live? Huddersfield.
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There you go. There you go. Never would have got that. No.
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Also, can I just say a big thank you to
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everyone who came to those arena shows? Because it was
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a real leap of faith. Because what the fuck was
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it going to be? Actually, I was very proud of
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it and thought it was a great show. But there
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was a point where I was like, oh, God, this
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could be really bad. So thank you for anyone that
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took that leap of faith. And I believe it was
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paid off. So they were great shows. But thanks for coming.
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Rob, on that, can I just quickly do a thing?
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I've got to admit that this is now 9.28pm.
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Yeah, well, I started just 20 minutes late because my
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computer wasn't working.
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Yeah, no, that's fine. I needed that. I fucking needed that,
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if I'm honest with you, Rob.
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Really?
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What did you do with your 20-minute wait time?
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Just chilled out by talking to Michael, which was what
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I needed. I'll come to my morning. My tour.
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So what's wedging your window up?
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One of Adrian's things. Just that. What is that? A chisel?
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A chisel? Yeah. That's a big old.
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What's he... What have you got? A Michelangelo statue in
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the garden? What is that?
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What's that?
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What the fuck are you using that for?
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Adrian?
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Are you tiny or is that big?
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What's this chisel used for? Breaking concrete. Thank you. Breaking concrete.
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I use it for breaking concrete. What an absolute ledge.
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You've removed it though, don't you?
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No, no, no. I can hold it on there. It's
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got a little wedge that it holds on.
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So where's Rose?
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Rose? She's just done the school run.
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Right, okay. So it's not just you and Adrian together?
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No, it's not just me and Adrian. Oh, my morning, Rob,
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is mental.
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Well, Adrian's out there breaking concrete up. I'm sure it
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was his order. Well, he's not breaking concrete.
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He's having to break concrete with his hands because you've
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got your silly fucking concrete chisel opening your window.
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Well, I'd hope in the en-suite bathroom of my daughter's
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room that there isn't much concrete to break.
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Oh, what a life they've got, en-suite room.
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Lucky kid. I know. What a wanker.
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What a wanker.
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But it is weird because it's an en-suite room that
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you walk into from my office or from her room.
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So I kind of share an en-suite.
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It's like a Jack and Jill. Is that what it's called?
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I think it's called a Jack and Jill toilet. Yeah,
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it's got two entries. But it sounds a bit perverted,
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isn't it?
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Yeah, yeah.
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That's some sort of fairytale king. Jack and Jill had
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two entries.
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And I'll be honest with you, Rob. What'll happen is
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if I ever need to use it, I'll go in
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and my daughter can't reach the flush. So there'll be
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a stinky something in there. Stinky piss.
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Stinky piss, yeah.
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Have I ever told you about when I pissed in
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the outside toilet during winter when I was growing up?
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I can't remember off the top of my head.
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We had an indoor toilet.
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All right, show off.
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Yeah. All right, mate. Ivory Tower. Media elite. Fucking Robin.
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You fucking Robin. Robin Hood. We had an indoor toilet.
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We also had an old outdoor toilet that kind of
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was just still there. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I went
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in there and it was like.
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Why did you go in there?
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Because someone was in the indoor toilet. Right. And it
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was the middle of winter. And when you're nine or whatever,
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you know, when you're an adult, you make a logical decision.
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When you're nine, you go, I'm just going to walk
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through the snow to go to an outdoor toilet because
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I'll do something weird. Do you know what I mean?
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And it was frozen. And frozen in it like a
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kind of corpse was an unflushed shit.
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I think it was.
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I must have told you.
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It was like a prehistoric ice age shit that had
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been frozen around.
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In piss, and I pissed on top of it, and
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it unfroze, and the smell is still the worst smell
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I've ever smelled in my life.
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I think when we talk to that, the worst smell
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I've ever smelled.
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Yeah, that'll be it. Sorry. No, it's great. It's great.
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It's just like hearing one of your favourite old songs.
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This is Wonderwall. Enjoy it.
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I mean, also, as well, like, this is just us
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messing about. If anyone's going, well, I'm absolutely disgusted with that.
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They've said a story I've heard before.
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It's just unprofessional.
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Yeah, it is.
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Yeah. It really is. Do you know what? I'll do
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it again in a year. Could I just say one
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thing I've got to do this morning, Rob? Yeah, go on.
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My tour goes on sale halfway through the interview.
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Yeah, but you're not manning the phones, are you, for that?
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No, no, no, no. You're not in charge of the service.
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No, no, no.
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I'm announcing it halfway through the interview, and I've forgotten
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my Instagram password, so our agent, our joint agent. No, no, no.
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So you're announcing it, putting up a clip or a post?
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A post on Instagram.
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So schedule it now.
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How do you schedule a post?
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Have you done the post yet?
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No. I've written it. Do you want to hear it? No,
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not really. Okay, fine. No, go on. No, yeah, yeah, yeah.
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It's fine, it's fine,
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it's fine.
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So is it a photo or are you doing a reel?
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I've got a reel coming, but I thought I'd start
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with a poster and a caption and the dates and
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then do the reel later today.
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So set it up as if you're going to post it, okay?
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Yeah.
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And then at the bottom, more options.
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Yeah.
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Schedule this reel.
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Yeah.
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Click on that and then schedule it for when you
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want it.
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Okay, I'll do that. I've just got to get the artwork.
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Because you haven't got the artwork either. Well, because they
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were going to put it up for me, but they
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couldn't log in because I've changed my... I don't remember
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doing this. I've changed my password. And currently I'm sending
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suggested passwords, my passwords to everything, to a WhatsApp group
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of nine people that work at my agency, many of
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whom are quite junior.
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And they could just cut and run.
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They could just go into my net west now if
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they wanted. I'm just batching out every password I've ever had.
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So basically, when they send you the artwork, you'll just
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have to post it up?
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Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, okay, cool.
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But yeah, scheduling posts really helps. It's really good.
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Okay.
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But you haven't got anything to schedule yet, apart from
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some words?
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No.
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Have you thought about using Twitter?
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I've deleted Twitter because it's a bunch of crap.
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Are you worried that you won't sell any tickets and
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it's over?
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Yeah.
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But it goes on sale, and then later on the day,
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the office ringer goes, yeah, Josh, no one's bought one.
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Yeah, Josh, about the WhatsApp group, your main agent is
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now the person you'd never heard of that got added
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to the WhatsApp group.
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But she's super keen. She's been at the company a week,
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so she really wants to impress. And I think it's
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a fresh start. I think we can rebuild from there.
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00:09:46.940 --> 00:09:49.500
So you're no longer doing the big room up at
249
00:09:49.519 --> 00:09:50.179
the Salford Lowry.
250
00:09:50.259 --> 00:09:51.519
But the foyer is good.
251
00:09:51.799 --> 00:09:54.970
The foyer is great because the bar's close. You'll pay
252
00:09:54.990 --> 00:09:56.750
less in production costs. You won't need a tour manager, obviously,
253
00:09:56.789 --> 00:09:59.570
because obviously the ticket sales won't cover his rate. So
254
00:10:00.490 --> 00:10:02.730
you'll just be driving yourself up there. You like a
255
00:10:02.730 --> 00:10:03.649
bit of alone time, don't you?
256
00:10:03.690 --> 00:10:06.750
You like to drive. Yeah. You'll be fine, Josh. Rob,
257
00:10:06.889 --> 00:10:10.090
my other stress. I woke up at eight. Oh, eight.
258
00:10:10.149 --> 00:10:10.669
That's nice.
259
00:10:10.889 --> 00:10:13.500
I know, because we were all knackered because we went
260
00:10:13.580 --> 00:10:16.860
away to a parent's weekend away.
261
00:10:17.179 --> 00:10:18.990
So at the moment, your stress could run a lie in.
262
00:10:19.470 --> 00:10:21.879
No, I woke up and it was all too tight.
263
00:10:22.220 --> 00:10:23.700
Right, so what time did you have to leave the
264
00:10:23.740 --> 00:10:25.000
house for school, Ron?
265
00:10:25.000 --> 00:10:27.240
8.55, really.
266
00:10:27.779 --> 00:10:29.019
So the kids were still asleep, were they?
267
00:10:29.299 --> 00:10:31.700
Oh yeah, because Rob, they're in my room.
268
00:10:33.320 --> 00:10:35.279
Everyone in your family woke up at 8am at the
269
00:10:35.299 --> 00:10:37.480
same time in the same room like the Brady Bunch.
270
00:10:37.519 --> 00:10:41.730
Yeah, yeah, exactly. And then I had to make pancakes.
271
00:10:42.029 --> 00:10:44.909
What's going on with them in your room? What's the plan? Tonight,
272
00:10:45.070 --> 00:10:47.429
because we've got the cleaner coming today. Right, okay.
273
00:10:47.889 --> 00:10:48.769
And futon away.
274
00:10:49.110 --> 00:10:52.129
Futons have gone away. So that's a line in the sand.
275
00:10:52.470 --> 00:10:54.850
There are no futons. So tonight at about nine o'clock,
276
00:10:54.870 --> 00:10:56.070
you'll be getting the futons back out.
277
00:10:56.289 --> 00:10:59.950
Well, crucially, I'm at a gig, so it's not on me. Oh, okay.
278
00:11:00.169 --> 00:11:02.450
You're doing that, are you? The enforcement's coming when you're
279
00:11:02.470 --> 00:11:02.710
not there.
280
00:11:02.769 --> 00:11:03.169
Gutless.
281
00:11:03.330 --> 00:11:05.289
You're like David Cameron after the Brexit vote.
282
00:11:05.309 --> 00:11:11.419
Out and run. Futons away. Daddy's away. Actually, I will
283
00:11:11.440 --> 00:11:13.059
be back from the gig at about nine. But I
284
00:11:13.080 --> 00:11:15.250
might just walk around the block until I hear that....
285
00:11:16.759 --> 00:11:19.500
So Futon's away, because obviously you went away for the weekend,
286
00:11:19.519 --> 00:11:20.929
so they would have been in your room again, or
287
00:11:20.950 --> 00:11:21.870
did they stay in their rooms?
288
00:11:22.049 --> 00:11:25.870
Oh, Rob, Saturday night was tough. So we went away
289
00:11:26.120 --> 00:11:29.139
to our friends. It's one of the parents at school.
290
00:11:29.500 --> 00:11:31.460
We all went to like a house, right?
291
00:11:31.539 --> 00:11:31.700
Yeah.
292
00:11:32.419 --> 00:11:33.899
And we were all four of us in a room.
293
00:11:34.139 --> 00:11:35.500
Was there another room for the kids or was it
294
00:11:35.679 --> 00:11:36.679
all the family?
295
00:11:36.899 --> 00:11:38.399
No, there was just one family to each room.
296
00:11:38.669 --> 00:11:40.370
Right, okay, so that was fine. There was no, like,
297
00:11:40.409 --> 00:11:41.159
you've got to sleep in.
298
00:11:41.190 --> 00:11:43.090
It would be absurd for us to kick up a
299
00:11:43.350 --> 00:11:45.269
stink about needing more than one room when we don't
300
00:11:45.309 --> 00:11:47.090
need more than one room at home. Yeah, of course, absolutely.
301
00:11:47.110 --> 00:11:48.629
Yeah, because you'd put me there and then they'd get
302
00:11:48.669 --> 00:11:50.710
you all in your bed anyway.
303
00:11:53.000 --> 00:11:56.100
So it was me and my daughter on the futons, obviously,
304
00:11:56.480 --> 00:11:59.019
and my wife and my son in the double bed.
305
00:11:59.360 --> 00:12:03.299
On holiday. One of the futons was... Child size. It
306
00:12:03.320 --> 00:12:04.179
just wasn't working out for me.
307
00:12:04.179 --> 00:12:05.019
So a bit loads of room for you?
308
00:12:05.620 --> 00:12:07.759
This is good stuff. You've got to put away the
309
00:12:07.820 --> 00:12:08.700
easy chances.
310
00:12:10.759 --> 00:12:12.399
Just a bit of light-hearted fun, lads, bands.
311
00:12:12.500 --> 00:12:14.399
A goal is a goal at the end of the day.
312
00:12:14.480 --> 00:12:16.179
They all count towards the golden boot.
313
00:12:16.399 --> 00:12:19.539
It is a goal. It's a quick little easy slap
314
00:12:19.580 --> 00:12:21.639
on the arse. You're quite small. Bosh, let's carry on
315
00:12:21.659 --> 00:12:21.950
with the story.
316
00:12:21.970 --> 00:12:23.129
Get the ball out of the net. Run back to
317
00:12:23.169 --> 00:12:25.309
the centre circle. Put it on the spot. Let's go.
318
00:12:25.330 --> 00:12:26.789
Let's go again. Let's start nil-nil.
319
00:12:27.009 --> 00:12:27.470
Come on, team.
320
00:12:27.529 --> 00:12:27.870
Focus.
321
00:12:29.440 --> 00:12:31.700
So you see futon I've never heard the word futon
322
00:12:31.740 --> 00:12:33.480
as much as when I speak to you what would
323
00:12:33.539 --> 00:12:37.580
you call them uncomfortable mattress so when I go to
324
00:12:37.600 --> 00:12:39.480
places normally it's sofa bed so.
325
00:12:39.399 --> 00:12:42.120
Yeah but we haven't got a sofa bed in our bedroom.
326
00:12:41.899 --> 00:12:44.399
Right so a futon doesn't a futon go into a
327
00:12:44.440 --> 00:12:45.360
chair yeah but.
328
00:12:45.299 --> 00:12:47.659
We haven't got the chair bit we've just got the kind.
329
00:12:47.480 --> 00:12:50.539
Of the futon cushion just a hard.
330
00:12:50.100 --> 00:12:52.279
Bit of mattress yeah let me google.
331
00:12:52.200 --> 00:12:54.200
So yeah that's in my head that's a futon right
332
00:12:54.220 --> 00:12:55.860
well it's like a bit of wood with a horrible
333
00:12:55.899 --> 00:12:58.960
mattress folded yeah but you haven't got the wood So
334
00:12:58.980 --> 00:13:00.840
you've just got that, what almost looks like a dead
335
00:13:00.899 --> 00:13:01.679
body in a bag.
336
00:13:01.940 --> 00:13:04.080
Yeah, yeah, yeah. And it reacts like a dead body.
337
00:13:04.120 --> 00:13:06.250
Like when you're carrying it around to the loft to
338
00:13:06.299 --> 00:13:06.919
put it away.
339
00:13:07.139 --> 00:13:08.919
They're so heavy and hard to manoeuvre.
340
00:13:08.970 --> 00:13:12.029
And I always, because it's two futons, I always try
341
00:13:12.049 --> 00:13:13.730
and carry one on each arm and I just can't
342
00:13:13.769 --> 00:13:15.090
do it, so I have to go one at a time.
343
00:13:15.269 --> 00:13:16.870
So these single futons you're dealing with.
344
00:13:17.269 --> 00:13:17.450
Yeah.
345
00:13:17.690 --> 00:13:19.330
So we had a double futon, me and my brother,
346
00:13:19.429 --> 00:13:20.529
in our room and we used to sit on it
347
00:13:20.549 --> 00:13:23.250
and play PlayStation, like all three of us. And because
348
00:13:23.289 --> 00:13:25.490
we'd just sit on there farting and eating teenagers. It
349
00:13:25.590 --> 00:13:27.110
actually stunk of shit by the end of it.
350
00:13:29.159 --> 00:13:33.159
It was horrible. Well, it's not that bad. It's not
351
00:13:33.200 --> 00:13:33.899
as bad as that yet.
352
00:13:34.039 --> 00:13:35.899
And there were futons at this house as well.
353
00:13:36.179 --> 00:13:38.100
Yeah, but they were child size. So I had to
354
00:13:38.139 --> 00:13:40.919
go in the double bed with my wife and my son.
355
00:13:40.950 --> 00:13:43.779
So I didn't have a great night's sleep. And then
356
00:13:43.799 --> 00:13:45.909
because we were in the loft, there was a few
357
00:13:45.950 --> 00:13:47.210
windows without curtains.
358
00:13:48.210 --> 00:13:48.789
So you're up early.
359
00:13:48.970 --> 00:13:51.649
So we're up early. But the problem wasn't any of
360
00:13:51.710 --> 00:13:52.669
that because that was fine.
361
00:13:52.850 --> 00:13:53.830
That was the best bit.
362
00:13:54.190 --> 00:13:57.889
It got to 10, right? And there was loads of
363
00:13:57.929 --> 00:14:01.980
kids and the kind of, Correct agreement was we're just
364
00:14:02.000 --> 00:14:03.539
going to knacker the kids out and then they'll all
365
00:14:03.580 --> 00:14:05.159
go to bed. Right. Okay.
366
00:14:05.179 --> 00:14:06.019
So just like no bed.
367
00:14:06.080 --> 00:14:09.500
It's just impossible to collapse and fall asleep. Yeah. It's
368
00:14:09.519 --> 00:14:14.279
just impossible to try and. Coordinate. A bedtime. A bedtime.
369
00:14:14.299 --> 00:14:16.519
Because you waste the whole evening up and down the stairs.
370
00:14:16.539 --> 00:14:19.269
And it's difficult to say to your kids, your friends
371
00:14:19.309 --> 00:14:21.110
are staying down here, but we think it's your bedtime.
372
00:14:21.129 --> 00:14:22.110
Do you know what I mean?
373
00:14:22.149 --> 00:14:23.769
I've got this gaming PC thing, and I want to
374
00:14:23.789 --> 00:14:25.629
do some streaming and playing some computer games.
375
00:14:25.669 --> 00:14:27.690
But by the time the kids are asleep, it's half nine.
376
00:14:27.710 --> 00:14:28.970
I'm like, I'm knackered now.
377
00:14:28.990 --> 00:14:30.970
By the time I've had a yoghurt and watched a bit,
378
00:14:31.149 --> 00:14:32.789
there's nothing left. I'll be in bed at 10.
379
00:14:32.789 --> 00:14:36.850
Yeah, I know. It's embarrassing. So this is where I was.
380
00:14:37.590 --> 00:14:39.370
I found myself, I wanted to go to bed at
381
00:14:39.970 --> 00:14:43.610
like quarter past 10. yeah knackered yeah but i was
382
00:14:43.690 --> 00:14:45.929
waiting up because my daughter all the kids were still
383
00:14:46.070 --> 00:14:48.990
up well this is the first time i've ever been
384
00:14:49.049 --> 00:14:51.250
waiting up for my daughter so that i can go
385
00:14:51.289 --> 00:14:51.990
to bed.
386
00:14:51.730 --> 00:14:53.269
So your son had gone to sleep by this point
387
00:14:53.289 --> 00:14:55.149
he's young no he was ready to go to bed
388
00:14:55.190 --> 00:14:59.370
yeah but my daughter was watching floor is lava oh
389
00:14:59.409 --> 00:15:00.929
yeah yeah kids love that so they were playing that
390
00:15:01.309 --> 00:15:01.970
They were watching it.
391
00:15:01.970 --> 00:15:02.850
It's a balance, isn't it?
392
00:15:02.850 --> 00:15:05.250
Because you're like, now you're just sat watching The Floor
393
00:15:05.269 --> 00:15:06.750
Is Lava with a load of kids. You're like, well,
394
00:15:06.840 --> 00:15:07.669
are we having an evening?
395
00:15:07.980 --> 00:15:09.649
Well, I wasn't even watching The Floor Is Lava. I
396
00:15:09.669 --> 00:15:11.720
was just kind of going. What are the other parents doing?
397
00:15:12.240 --> 00:15:14.860
Like getting pissed and having a great time. Yeah.
398
00:15:15.379 --> 00:15:18.419
That's the issue, isn't it? I'd had a really good time,
399
00:15:18.460 --> 00:15:21.399
but I'd burned out. If you're not drinking, everyone's tired
400
00:15:21.440 --> 00:15:21.840
by ten.
401
00:15:22.240 --> 00:15:22.419
Yeah.
402
00:15:22.500 --> 00:15:24.840
And also, what you can't do there is, if you
403
00:15:24.860 --> 00:15:27.100
were the only ones with kids, you could go, bros,
404
00:15:27.279 --> 00:15:28.940
I'm a bit knackered. You stay up and have a
405
00:15:29.399 --> 00:15:31.720
night of it. I'll say to the kids, it's bedtime,
406
00:15:31.769 --> 00:15:32.759
now come to bed with Daddy.
407
00:15:32.779 --> 00:15:32.980
Yeah.
408
00:15:33.200 --> 00:15:34.879
And you could get into bed with them and put
409
00:15:34.899 --> 00:15:36.440
them to bed, but then you can't do that if
410
00:15:36.460 --> 00:15:37.899
there's other kids there that are having a great time.
411
00:15:38.179 --> 00:15:39.759
Yeah, yeah, you've just got to see it out.
412
00:15:39.799 --> 00:15:40.940
You've just got to watch the floor is lava sober.
413
00:15:40.960 --> 00:15:43.179
You've just got to watch the floor is lava sober
414
00:15:44.179 --> 00:15:48.080
while everyone else has a great time. So what time
415
00:15:48.100 --> 00:15:52.720
did you get to bed? About 11. Yeah. Half ten,
416
00:15:52.720 --> 00:15:54.500
11 by the time they got to sleep. And obviously
417
00:15:54.519 --> 00:15:57.340
they're so fucked that it's a really tough bedtime because
418
00:15:57.360 --> 00:15:58.259
they're quite emotional.
419
00:15:58.480 --> 00:16:00.509
And they're all aggy, yeah. And he was up early
420
00:16:00.909 --> 00:16:01.370
Sunday morning.
421
00:16:01.470 --> 00:16:03.289
Oh, he was up early Sunday morning, which it was
422
00:16:03.460 --> 00:16:06.960
lovely though. We drove back, went to the Jumble Trail
423
00:16:07.100 --> 00:16:07.600
in Clapton.
424
00:16:07.720 --> 00:16:08.559
What's the Jumble Trail?
425
00:16:08.879 --> 00:16:11.519
People put Jumble sale stalls outside their house and then
426
00:16:11.539 --> 00:16:13.320
you walk around the area. Right.
427
00:16:13.740 --> 00:16:15.720
A load of old shit. Which basically a boot sale,
428
00:16:15.740 --> 00:16:17.659
but a middle-class version of it.
429
00:16:18.100 --> 00:16:20.519
The reason it started was there used to be a
430
00:16:20.539 --> 00:16:24.179
Jumble sale, but then due to COVID, they couldn't all
431
00:16:24.200 --> 00:16:26.470
go in one place. So people did it outside the houses.
432
00:16:26.950 --> 00:16:27.230
Right.
433
00:16:27.490 --> 00:16:28.090
And now it's stuck.
434
00:16:28.549 --> 00:16:31.250
What's the difference between a jumble sale and a boot sale? Cars?
435
00:16:31.379 --> 00:16:34.129
One's in a car boot. So that's the one we
436
00:16:34.169 --> 00:16:35.899
used to go to as kids. And my dad would
437
00:16:35.919 --> 00:16:37.580
do the car boot sale quite a lot. Would you
438
00:16:37.600 --> 00:16:39.240
have a table and a car boot?
439
00:16:39.259 --> 00:16:41.240
You'd have the table and the car boot. So basically,
440
00:16:41.259 --> 00:16:43.159
it was like whatever you could fit in your car boot.
441
00:16:43.519 --> 00:16:44.059
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
442
00:16:44.240 --> 00:16:45.399
And then have a table. We used to do loads
443
00:16:45.460 --> 00:16:46.120
of car boot sales.
444
00:16:46.419 --> 00:16:48.980
Yeah, I liked a car boot sale. I'd like to
445
00:16:49.000 --> 00:16:50.019
go to one now, actually.
446
00:16:50.440 --> 00:16:51.480
Well, that can be arranged.
447
00:16:51.519 --> 00:16:55.240
That could happen. Anyway, long story short, I get up
448
00:16:55.259 --> 00:16:59.049
this morning, panic, get rid of the futons. Basically, it
449
00:16:59.070 --> 00:17:00.870
was just like, go, go, go, go, go, go.
450
00:17:00.909 --> 00:17:02.809
Yeah, you're up against it. So you've got to leave
451
00:17:02.870 --> 00:17:04.690
at 8.55 and they've got to get dressed.
452
00:17:04.710 --> 00:17:05.670
Then I've got five minutes.
453
00:17:05.710 --> 00:17:07.160
It's quite late though, isn't it? So what time does
454
00:17:07.180 --> 00:17:07.940
they start school?
455
00:17:08.140 --> 00:17:08.519
Half nine.
456
00:17:08.539 --> 00:17:09.859
That's fucking late, isn't it?
457
00:17:09.940 --> 00:17:10.259
I know.
458
00:17:10.690 --> 00:17:12.589
Half nine till four, but it beats the traffic.
459
00:17:12.769 --> 00:17:15.569
Jesus, that's late. Is it nice to come and start?
460
00:17:16.130 --> 00:17:17.839
Yes, it is much nicer.
461
00:17:17.960 --> 00:17:20.559
How's it like, can we drop from eight o'clock till... Oh,
462
00:17:20.579 --> 00:17:21.779
they can be dropped from eight o'clock.
463
00:17:22.220 --> 00:17:22.480
Right.
464
00:17:22.680 --> 00:17:25.039
If you pay for breakfast club. Yeah, no, so eight
465
00:17:25.079 --> 00:17:27.980
o'clock is not breakfast club. Ours is from eight, between
466
00:17:28.000 --> 00:17:30.960
like eight and like 8.35. Anything after, so you can
467
00:17:31.000 --> 00:17:31.759
drop them at half eight.
468
00:17:31.880 --> 00:17:32.480
Right, yeah, yeah.
469
00:17:32.529 --> 00:17:34.750
Between eight and 8.35, but there is earlier if you
470
00:17:34.769 --> 00:17:35.650
want to pay for breakfast club.
471
00:17:35.710 --> 00:17:39.700
It's free from 9.15 till... To 9.30. So you can
472
00:17:39.740 --> 00:17:42.980
drop them 9.15 to 9.30, because obviously you don't drop
473
00:17:43.029 --> 00:17:43.490
on the dot.
474
00:17:43.769 --> 00:17:45.589
I bet you always get there just at 9.30, don't you?
475
00:17:45.910 --> 00:17:48.009
No, I'm quite good, actually. I like it. I've got
476
00:17:48.029 --> 00:17:51.230
a back route, Rob. It's shaved a bit of time
477
00:17:51.250 --> 00:17:53.839
off my driving, yeah. Well, away the easy chances, Rob.
478
00:17:53.849 --> 00:17:55.849
I was with a friend of ours, the producer of
479
00:17:55.890 --> 00:17:58.549
Smart TV, and she said she was walking along, she
480
00:17:58.609 --> 00:18:00.269
saw you driving and beeping at her.
481
00:18:00.809 --> 00:18:01.029
Yeah.
482
00:18:01.150 --> 00:18:01.690
Saying hello.
483
00:18:02.029 --> 00:18:04.130
And she said, and I sort of semi-agree with her,
484
00:18:04.880 --> 00:18:08.990
she finds... the idea and the image of you driving strange.
485
00:18:10.789 --> 00:18:13.559
People do say that it doesn't suit me.
486
00:18:13.680 --> 00:18:15.339
Like you drive it because i saw you drove to
487
00:18:15.380 --> 00:18:17.680
our house once i don't like it it doesn't work
488
00:18:17.740 --> 00:18:19.680
for me does it just when i see behind the
489
00:18:19.740 --> 00:18:21.769
wheel i'm like oh i don't like that and i
490
00:18:21.789 --> 00:18:24.190
don't know why it's not like you're reckless or like
491
00:18:24.289 --> 00:18:26.769
i don't know i just feel like oh god here
492
00:18:26.789 --> 00:18:27.289
he comes.
493
00:18:32.779 --> 00:18:35.640
Well, as you know, Rob, my life with my car
494
00:18:35.700 --> 00:18:41.579
is pretty drama free. In fact, yesterday I was parking
495
00:18:41.619 --> 00:18:42.799
outside my friend's house.
496
00:18:43.220 --> 00:18:43.460
Yeah.
497
00:18:43.779 --> 00:18:47.000
The gap was too small. Yeah. I'd gone in about
498
00:18:47.039 --> 00:18:49.119
three times and I was like, this is a disaster.
499
00:18:50.079 --> 00:18:51.880
I looked over my shoulder and the guy across the
500
00:18:51.920 --> 00:18:56.259
road was watching and we caught eyes and it was
501
00:18:56.319 --> 00:18:59.059
the brother of my friend, Henry Packer. It was his brother.
502
00:18:59.240 --> 00:18:59.539
Oh yeah.
503
00:18:59.920 --> 00:19:02.400
And it was just happened to live on the same road.
504
00:19:03.099 --> 00:19:05.460
And he was watching me fail to park a car.
505
00:19:05.839 --> 00:19:06.539
Is it a bad one?
506
00:19:07.240 --> 00:19:10.529
I just couldn't get in, Rob. I just can't parallel park.
507
00:19:10.809 --> 00:19:12.089
Are you a good parallel parker?
508
00:19:12.529 --> 00:19:15.009
I'm all right, but after doing that episode of driving
509
00:19:15.029 --> 00:19:17.130
with Ramesh, when I had to drive a geared car
510
00:19:17.269 --> 00:19:19.430
and I failed, my confidence really took a knock.
511
00:19:19.809 --> 00:19:22.839
Is there a technique? Could someone write in, I know
512
00:19:22.880 --> 00:19:27.140
this is boring, and just tell me what the technique is? Like,
513
00:19:27.200 --> 00:19:29.759
is there an amount of turns? Do I go hard
514
00:19:29.799 --> 00:19:31.500
at the start? I thought you're supposed to line up
515
00:19:31.559 --> 00:19:34.200
your wing mirror with their wing mirror. Yeah, I do that.
516
00:19:34.339 --> 00:19:35.900
And then turn the wheel.
517
00:19:36.400 --> 00:19:36.799
How much?
518
00:19:37.799 --> 00:19:38.579
Half the way.
519
00:19:39.470 --> 00:19:43.200
That was not enough confidence. Please can someone just give
520
00:19:43.220 --> 00:19:45.180
me a description of what you're meant to do for
521
00:19:45.200 --> 00:19:45.759
Parallel Park?
522
00:19:45.799 --> 00:19:48.309
One thing I do know about parking is, and I've
523
00:19:48.369 --> 00:19:49.970
never done it, and I see people do it, and it's...
524
00:19:50.119 --> 00:19:52.839
I've never seen it work, is when the gap's quite big,
525
00:19:53.380 --> 00:19:55.140
some people go, oh, fuck it, I'll just go in
526
00:19:55.180 --> 00:19:55.599
front ways.
527
00:19:56.640 --> 00:19:59.309
And if it's a parallel park, they'll just try it.
528
00:20:00.390 --> 00:20:02.509
You have to go in backwards.
529
00:20:02.710 --> 00:20:05.190
But that's all I know is you cannot go in
530
00:20:05.299 --> 00:20:08.359
front ways parallel parking. But I've seen people try. And
531
00:20:08.500 --> 00:20:10.619
all you're watching is them to realise that they can't
532
00:20:10.660 --> 00:20:11.930
do it. And then they tap out.
533
00:20:12.470 --> 00:20:15.009
I don't understand why. Oh, it's because of the turn
534
00:20:15.029 --> 00:20:16.170
of the front wheels. Yeah.
535
00:20:16.390 --> 00:20:18.329
So if Rose doesn't school drop, does she still do
536
00:20:18.349 --> 00:20:19.009
it on the bus then?
537
00:20:19.410 --> 00:20:21.589
She did taxi this morning. Taxi this morning. Because it
538
00:20:21.609 --> 00:20:22.109
was late.
539
00:20:22.329 --> 00:20:25.089
It does add an extra level of like uncertainty, doesn't it?
540
00:20:25.089 --> 00:20:26.089
Trying to get a taxi, does it?
541
00:20:26.259 --> 00:20:29.480
No, no, because she pre-books. You can pre-book a black cab.
542
00:20:30.000 --> 00:20:31.220
From my respect, actually.
543
00:20:31.910 --> 00:20:32.529
One of the apps.
544
00:20:32.710 --> 00:20:34.190
The kid's all right, though, is it? Just because you
545
00:20:34.230 --> 00:20:34.480
woke up.
546
00:20:34.490 --> 00:20:36.009
Yeah, it was fine. It was just I had to
547
00:20:36.049 --> 00:20:38.430
do the futon stuff because the cleaner's coming. I had
548
00:20:38.470 --> 00:20:39.839
to do that. It was just like, I've got to
549
00:20:39.880 --> 00:20:42.400
get everything done before the show. I was delighted when
550
00:20:42.420 --> 00:20:42.839
you were late.
551
00:20:43.579 --> 00:20:44.839
Oh, so actually I've done a good thing.
552
00:20:45.140 --> 00:20:47.799
You've done a great thing. The universe works in your favor. Yeah,
553
00:20:47.839 --> 00:20:51.049
I was trying to sort out my bloody tour. They're
554
00:20:51.089 --> 00:20:53.269
taking one of the dates off, Rob. Why?
555
00:20:53.289 --> 00:20:53.359
Why?
556
00:20:53.750 --> 00:20:56.009
Because I got tickets to our aces on that day.
557
00:20:56.089 --> 00:20:57.490
And I was like, Oh, but it's not gone on
558
00:20:57.509 --> 00:20:57.910
sale yet.
559
00:20:57.930 --> 00:20:59.759
That's fine. It's not gone on sale. It's fine. But
560
00:20:59.799 --> 00:21:01.799
you do feel for the person that's organized the tour.
561
00:21:02.380 --> 00:21:06.279
Shout out to Katie for you and your whims. Yeah.
562
00:21:06.980 --> 00:21:08.289
Our morning this morning was hard work.
563
00:21:08.589 --> 00:21:09.390
So talk to me.
564
00:21:09.710 --> 00:21:11.789
Well, just basically, like, we have to leave the house
565
00:21:11.809 --> 00:21:14.869
at about quarter to eight, but then there's been some roadworks,
566
00:21:14.890 --> 00:21:16.069
so we have to leave a little bit earlier.
567
00:21:16.390 --> 00:21:18.130
But it's quite an early start, up and out, quarter
568
00:21:18.150 --> 00:21:18.329
to eight.
569
00:21:18.809 --> 00:21:20.849
My youngest was just like, so when they're going to PE,
570
00:21:20.910 --> 00:21:23.410
they wear the PE uniform in for the whole day now.
571
00:21:23.430 --> 00:21:26.710
It's like a hangover from COVID. Basically, it's like a
572
00:21:26.710 --> 00:21:29.339
T-shirt and a jumper, and then either a pair of
573
00:21:29.380 --> 00:21:30.740
shorts or a pair of jogging bottoms, and they can
574
00:21:30.759 --> 00:21:33.160
wear what they want, either or, kind of thing. So
575
00:21:33.200 --> 00:21:35.220
it was like, oh, here's your shorts, and we'll put
576
00:21:35.240 --> 00:21:37.180
your jogging bottoms in the bag in case you get cold.
577
00:21:37.680 --> 00:21:37.859
Yeah.
578
00:21:38.059 --> 00:21:41.109
We just sat at, like, quarter to seven, seven, just
579
00:21:41.150 --> 00:21:43.849
sat outside a bedroom crying, just in her pyjamas going,
580
00:21:44.519 --> 00:21:47.000
I don't like it. The shorts are too cold and
581
00:21:47.039 --> 00:21:48.759
the jogging bottoms are too woolly.
582
00:21:49.319 --> 00:21:51.819
I agree. I agree. I agree on the jogging bottoms.
583
00:21:51.960 --> 00:21:53.279
Yeah, but that's what it is.
584
00:21:54.630 --> 00:21:57.279
It's either them or them because their older sister when
585
00:21:57.299 --> 00:21:59.920
they get older they're slightly better pair of jogging bottoms
586
00:21:59.940 --> 00:22:01.759
because they actually do sport when they're like the higher
587
00:22:01.799 --> 00:22:04.539
up years they're actually like playing like football or hockey
588
00:22:04.579 --> 00:22:06.799
not like throwing a beanbag for 20 minutes.
589
00:22:06.599 --> 00:22:08.849
When I ask my daughter what she does in PE
590
00:22:08.900 --> 00:22:11.009
I'm like are you fucking kidding.
591
00:22:10.829 --> 00:22:12.289
Me but she has like low blood sugar and then
592
00:22:12.309 --> 00:22:14.130
she was like a bit rude so basically she lost
593
00:22:14.170 --> 00:22:16.769
her iPad for the Saturday and we went if you
594
00:22:16.789 --> 00:22:19.309
keep this up you're losing it for Sunday And then
595
00:22:19.329 --> 00:22:20.529
there'll be a chance for you to get it back
596
00:22:20.569 --> 00:22:21.710
later in the week, but at the moment you do
597
00:22:21.759 --> 00:22:22.859
not have an iPad on Saturday.
598
00:22:22.880 --> 00:22:24.759
It's a great game show you run in your house.
599
00:22:26.380 --> 00:22:29.779
It's about as long as you bet. Never ends.
600
00:22:30.400 --> 00:22:33.960
Can you name, to get your iPad back, all of
601
00:22:34.049 --> 00:22:36.529
the tube stations on the Bakerloo.
602
00:22:36.049 --> 00:22:39.720
Line in reverse? Oh, Josh, I had an ice cream
603
00:22:39.740 --> 00:22:40.920
at the weekend. It was so good.
604
00:22:40.960 --> 00:22:41.720
Oh, yeah, talk to me.
605
00:22:41.740 --> 00:22:44.160
Because I've been eating quite well. Finally, we're covering the
606
00:22:44.180 --> 00:22:44.529
big issues.
607
00:22:44.549 --> 00:22:45.390
No, it was so good.
608
00:22:45.410 --> 00:22:47.589
It was like a Mr. Whippy, but like a Kinder
609
00:22:47.609 --> 00:22:50.269
Bueno special that had a Kinder Bueno stick in it
610
00:22:50.309 --> 00:22:54.029
with a flake. Fucking hell. queen de bueno flavor you
611
00:22:54.049 --> 00:22:56.329
know they have like a sauce which is like normally
612
00:22:56.349 --> 00:22:59.910
like garish it's horrible this was actually like it literally
613
00:22:59.930 --> 00:23:03.319
was like liquidized bueno in a sauce and he put
614
00:23:03.359 --> 00:23:05.099
some in the cone then he put the whippy on
615
00:23:05.119 --> 00:23:06.559
top then put some sauce on the top of the
616
00:23:06.839 --> 00:23:10.119
whippy with the things in and i said in front
617
00:23:10.160 --> 00:23:11.859
of lou and her parents like because i.
618
00:23:11.839 --> 00:23:16.200
Was so why have you put this kilo back on a.
619
00:23:15.539 --> 00:23:17.279
Good question i'll have to read i'll have to look
620
00:23:17.299 --> 00:23:18.480
through my fitness app.
621
00:23:20.339 --> 00:23:21.759
It's all starting to make sense now. And I did
622
00:23:21.779 --> 00:23:23.460
have four pints Friday night. But apart from that, I've
623
00:23:23.480 --> 00:23:25.480
been really on it. I said to Lou, I went, Lou,
624
00:23:25.519 --> 00:23:27.759
this is amazing. I think this has changed my life,
625
00:23:27.779 --> 00:23:29.960
this ice cream. It's sort of like, I thought, ice cream?
626
00:23:30.180 --> 00:23:30.519
Yeah.
627
00:23:30.779 --> 00:23:32.700
Don't mind it now. I'm like, this is unreal. And
628
00:23:32.740 --> 00:23:34.759
I said, if this sauce was on a dick, I'd
629
00:23:34.799 --> 00:23:35.279
lick it off.
630
00:23:36.460 --> 00:23:36.720
Right?
631
00:23:37.099 --> 00:23:38.259
In a sort of bit of a fun way.
632
00:23:38.279 --> 00:23:39.839
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just a bit of balance. I just
633
00:23:39.859 --> 00:23:41.599
said it in front of Lou's parents and grandparents.
634
00:23:41.759 --> 00:23:42.480
And they're like, what?
635
00:23:42.539 --> 00:23:46.200
Yeah, yeah. Oh, maths.
636
00:23:46.230 --> 00:23:47.150
This is what I want to talk to you about.
637
00:23:47.190 --> 00:23:49.450
My daughter's in year four. I can't do her maths homework.
638
00:23:49.529 --> 00:23:51.289
Year four. Fucking hell.
639
00:23:51.529 --> 00:23:54.250
But it's like long multiplication. And you know when you
640
00:23:54.289 --> 00:23:55.869
have like, you can't use a calculator and you've got
641
00:23:55.910 --> 00:23:59.099
to go one after two, hold the ten, transfer the
642
00:23:59.130 --> 00:24:01.380
five over, like that. And she was just saying, what
643
00:24:01.400 --> 00:24:03.000
do I do? And I just had to say, I
644
00:24:03.039 --> 00:24:03.539
just don't know.
645
00:24:03.740 --> 00:24:03.960
Yeah.
646
00:24:04.099 --> 00:24:06.029
Literally tapped out of it now. Lou's having to do it.
647
00:24:06.059 --> 00:24:07.460
Lou don't really know either.
648
00:24:07.480 --> 00:24:11.200
Rose has tapped out of maths. Yeah. Basically year two.
649
00:24:11.829 --> 00:24:13.930
So my daughter had her first ever maths homework.
650
00:24:14.170 --> 00:24:14.430
Yeah.
651
00:24:14.470 --> 00:24:16.690
She didn't get homework. She had to just read her
652
00:24:16.730 --> 00:24:19.670
book in year one was her homework. So it was
653
00:24:19.710 --> 00:24:24.460
her first ever maths homework. And Rose, it was almost
654
00:24:24.539 --> 00:24:28.380
like there was no discussion that this is my domain.
655
00:24:28.700 --> 00:24:30.680
We've basically drawn a silent line in the sand with
656
00:24:30.720 --> 00:24:33.119
homework that Lou does it all and I don't. I
657
00:24:33.200 --> 00:24:36.220
think it's a two-way street, the silent line in the sand,
658
00:24:36.539 --> 00:24:39.390
where I'm not really bringing it up and Lou's not
659
00:24:39.430 --> 00:24:40.930
really bringing it up because when I have tried to
660
00:24:40.970 --> 00:24:43.910
help in the past, especially because of my dyslexia, I
661
00:24:43.950 --> 00:24:46.710
was doing it wrong and I was actually making it worse.
662
00:24:46.809 --> 00:24:49.490
I was actually leading my daughter astray.
663
00:24:49.539 --> 00:24:50.680
So when she was trying to do the homework, I
664
00:24:50.700 --> 00:24:53.200
was telling her to do it incorrectly because I wasn't
665
00:24:53.240 --> 00:24:54.339
understanding the instructions.
666
00:24:54.819 --> 00:24:57.970
Yeah, it's difficult, man. But I don't think you can
667
00:24:58.009 --> 00:25:01.700
beat yourself up because you've got enough maths to deal
668
00:25:01.740 --> 00:25:02.400
with your life.
669
00:25:02.759 --> 00:25:04.819
Well, I know exactly, but that's not how education works.
670
00:25:04.880 --> 00:25:07.180
But I do feel like I was emailing the teacher
671
00:25:07.200 --> 00:25:08.759
and going, I can't.
672
00:25:08.539 --> 00:25:09.980
Help her with it. Can I come in?
673
00:25:10.299 --> 00:25:11.519
But I just said to him in the end, I
674
00:25:11.539 --> 00:25:12.319
was like, well, look.
675
00:25:12.400 --> 00:25:12.759
No, no, no.
676
00:25:12.799 --> 00:25:14.940
I don't mean that you shouldn't care about it because
677
00:25:14.960 --> 00:25:16.500
you've got enough to deal with your life. No, no, no.
678
00:25:16.500 --> 00:25:18.539
I do care about it, but I literally can't do it.
679
00:25:18.549 --> 00:25:19.970
So I need to do a course.
680
00:25:19.990 --> 00:25:21.049
You don't need to do a course.
681
00:25:21.089 --> 00:25:22.440
My daughter's getting a bit upset about it.
682
00:25:22.750 --> 00:25:23.230
And I went, look.
683
00:25:23.829 --> 00:25:25.829
At the end of the day, just answer them. It's
684
00:25:25.849 --> 00:25:28.029
a couple of questions. You either get them wrong or
685
00:25:28.130 --> 00:25:30.289
you get them right. It don't matter. Put in some
686
00:25:30.309 --> 00:25:32.910
letters and numbers, whatever they're asking for. Try your best.
687
00:25:32.950 --> 00:25:33.930
And if it ain't right, ain't right, and if it
688
00:25:33.950 --> 00:25:35.930
ain't right, they'll tell you the score why it isn't.
689
00:25:36.329 --> 00:25:37.210
It's a couple of questions.
690
00:25:37.309 --> 00:25:39.880
It don't matter. Just get it done and let's enjoy
691
00:25:39.920 --> 00:25:40.500
our weekend.
692
00:25:40.819 --> 00:25:42.819
Right, I'm going to go in on a point here, Rob.
693
00:25:43.180 --> 00:25:47.559
Go on. I'm not sure the energy's right here. To
694
00:25:47.579 --> 00:25:50.079
the words, just get it done. I'm not sure that's
695
00:25:50.130 --> 00:25:52.190
calming the situation. Just get it.
696
00:25:52.200 --> 00:25:54.390
Well, I'm just like, look, you don't enjoy doing it.
697
00:25:54.759 --> 00:25:55.019
Oh, hello.
698
00:25:55.039 --> 00:25:55.839
You've got some visitors.
699
00:25:55.859 --> 00:25:59.240
Is that Adrian? I need to get something. Yeah, grab something.
700
00:25:59.259 --> 00:25:59.660
Oh, here he comes.
701
00:25:59.720 --> 00:26:01.660
Oh, yes, please. Adrian.
702
00:26:01.920 --> 00:26:02.660
Can Adrian hear me?
703
00:26:03.240 --> 00:26:03.809
No, he can't, no.
704
00:26:03.890 --> 00:26:06.009
Oh, there he is. I like Adrian. He's got a
705
00:26:06.589 --> 00:26:08.990
sort of a paint splattered T-shirt on, backwards cap.
706
00:26:09.170 --> 00:26:09.650
Classic.
707
00:26:10.369 --> 00:26:11.869
I've been wearing a backwards cap, Josh. Can I talk
708
00:26:11.890 --> 00:26:12.529
to you about this?
709
00:26:12.809 --> 00:26:13.230
Yeah, yeah.
710
00:26:13.490 --> 00:26:14.900
I'm wearing a backwards cap because my hair's getting a
711
00:26:14.890 --> 00:26:17.650
bit longer. And it's more if I'm doing sport, right?
712
00:26:17.750 --> 00:26:20.069
Like if I'm at the gym. Just don't get a hairband.
713
00:26:20.349 --> 00:26:20.710
Exactly.
714
00:26:20.829 --> 00:26:22.109
And it's not really long enough for a hairband.
715
00:26:22.130 --> 00:26:23.730
But if I just wear a cap and I don't
716
00:26:23.750 --> 00:26:25.900
have a cap like down because I can't really see
717
00:26:25.960 --> 00:26:27.819
when I'm playing football or whatever. And I just have
718
00:26:27.859 --> 00:26:29.480
it back to keep my hair out my eyes right
719
00:26:29.500 --> 00:26:31.839
when I'm sweating, which has been fine. No one's really
720
00:26:31.859 --> 00:26:33.980
brought it up. No one's given me any stick for
721
00:26:34.019 --> 00:26:37.240
it and stuff. However, I have been getting into road rage.
722
00:26:37.990 --> 00:26:38.130
Oh.
723
00:26:38.349 --> 00:26:40.529
Not me. I'm a fairly chilled driver.
724
00:26:40.549 --> 00:26:41.150
Yeah.
725
00:26:41.349 --> 00:26:43.589
And I never get any road rage. I never get angry.
726
00:26:43.609 --> 00:26:45.210
I just, my dad used to get quite angry. So
727
00:26:45.289 --> 00:26:46.690
I've made a conscious decision that I don't.
728
00:26:46.750 --> 00:26:48.990
And I let it, I breathe through it. I've never
729
00:26:49.329 --> 00:26:52.269
got angry. However, no one's ever really got angry with
730
00:26:52.309 --> 00:26:54.950
me either. Like ever. You know, it's just the way
731
00:26:54.990 --> 00:26:57.799
I drive. Anyway, I've been wearing a backwards cap. I've
732
00:26:57.819 --> 00:26:59.460
been like sort of pulling over and driving in the
733
00:26:59.500 --> 00:27:01.000
same way. But I think because they see me with
734
00:27:01.019 --> 00:27:05.119
a backwards cap on. They would soon actually immediately hate me.
735
00:27:05.140 --> 00:27:07.160
So I had to, like, fucking prick.
736
00:27:07.759 --> 00:27:08.079
Oh, my word.
737
00:27:08.160 --> 00:27:10.240
Fucking get out of the way, wanker. And I'm not
738
00:27:10.259 --> 00:27:13.829
driving any differently. Like, one guy, like, I pulled over
739
00:27:13.869 --> 00:27:19.509
and I just went, like, I just went, twats! And, like,
740
00:27:19.549 --> 00:27:22.059
the only difference maker is the backwards cab.
741
00:27:22.279 --> 00:27:23.500
That's fascinating.
742
00:27:23.559 --> 00:27:25.559
I just think, though, if you see anyone with a
743
00:27:25.559 --> 00:27:28.769
backwards cab... yeah your back's up with certain people.
744
00:27:28.750 --> 00:27:32.240
Yeah totally and understandably it's just mad yeah i'm on
745
00:27:32.259 --> 00:27:34.180
their side if i was cut up by a man
746
00:27:34.200 --> 00:27:36.000
wearing the backwards cap i'd be all over.
747
00:27:35.839 --> 00:27:37.660
It i was doing another thing this summer tell me
748
00:27:37.680 --> 00:27:39.640
what you think of this oh no when i was
749
00:27:39.680 --> 00:27:41.420
going to gym i didn't have like stuff with me
750
00:27:41.440 --> 00:27:43.559
i was just wearing my gym clothes my top would
751
00:27:43.579 --> 00:27:46.559
be soaking wet sweaty so on the 20 minute drive
752
00:27:46.579 --> 00:27:50.690
back topless drive topless drive is that not bad for the.
753
00:27:50.670 --> 00:27:53.319
Seat You're not getting your sweat on the seat.
754
00:27:53.559 --> 00:27:54.880
But it's leather. It's a leather seat.
755
00:27:55.049 --> 00:27:55.789
Oh, it's a leather seat.
756
00:27:55.869 --> 00:27:57.420
It's a leather seat. And then my top's off and
757
00:27:57.440 --> 00:27:58.619
then I have windows open.
758
00:27:58.940 --> 00:28:01.349
And you're blasting out Summertime by Jazzy Jeff and the
759
00:28:01.390 --> 00:28:01.849
Fresh Prince.
760
00:28:01.869 --> 00:28:03.730
And I've got my backwards cap on and my tits
761
00:28:03.930 --> 00:28:05.329
out and I'm Brat Girl.
762
00:28:05.349 --> 00:28:07.130
Brat Girl Summer.
763
00:28:07.410 --> 00:28:11.049
I've got a bit of Chapel Road on. H-O-T-T-O-G-O. Anyway,
764
00:28:11.069 --> 00:28:12.150
so I was doing that as well. How do you
765
00:28:12.170 --> 00:28:13.049
feel about the topless drive?
766
00:28:13.930 --> 00:28:15.769
I think it's weird. Yeah, me too.
767
00:28:16.109 --> 00:28:16.619
I'm into it.
768
00:28:16.670 --> 00:28:19.650
I hate the topless jog. I hate the topless jog.
769
00:28:19.670 --> 00:28:20.710
Oh, I'd never topless jog.
770
00:28:21.240 --> 00:28:23.779
That is, I'd say, the worst thing anyone could do.
771
00:28:23.799 --> 00:28:25.049
Not with the amount of ice cream I'm eating.
772
00:28:26.769 --> 00:28:28.569
By the way, we're supposed to be doing topless photos
773
00:28:28.609 --> 00:28:31.390
with Mike Bubbins on the 1st of January, but I
774
00:28:31.410 --> 00:28:32.349
think that's a terrible decision.
775
00:28:32.369 --> 00:28:33.529
Why don't we do it before Christmas?
776
00:28:33.549 --> 00:28:35.980
Yeah, yeah, all right. Let's do it on December the 15th. Yeah, definitely.
777
00:28:37.660 --> 00:28:38.700
December the 15th.
778
00:28:38.980 --> 00:28:41.500
I mean, before Christmas festivities kick in.
779
00:28:41.640 --> 00:28:43.369
Yeah. Don't you think that's a good idea? I think
780
00:28:43.380 --> 00:28:44.150
that's a great idea.
781
00:28:44.210 --> 00:28:46.390
That is my daughter's birthday that day, though. So could
782
00:28:46.410 --> 00:28:47.950
I do it another day? So it's not like I'm
783
00:28:47.970 --> 00:28:50.509
just getting my tits out on a birthday.
784
00:28:50.529 --> 00:28:52.069
Yeah, yeah, fine. What day do you want to choose?
785
00:28:52.670 --> 00:28:53.829
What about Monday the 9th?
786
00:28:54.430 --> 00:28:57.539
Of December? Yep. We've got a Parenting Hell record in
787
00:28:57.579 --> 00:28:59.059
our diary, so we could do it then. Let's do
788
00:28:59.099 --> 00:29:00.640
it topless. Let's do it topless.
789
00:29:00.920 --> 00:29:02.519
And when we get Mike Bubbins on the show again,
790
00:29:03.059 --> 00:29:04.609
we'll do the whole podcast topless.
791
00:29:04.809 --> 00:29:09.049
Oh, yeah, we could do topless Mondays. Topless Mondays. Christmas special.
792
00:29:09.509 --> 00:29:11.170
Text Bubbins now and see if we could do the
793
00:29:11.210 --> 00:29:12.430
night for December topless.
794
00:29:16.029 --> 00:29:17.509
Any other news? I'm just trying to work out what
795
00:29:17.549 --> 00:29:19.390
else has been happening in my life, kid-wise.
796
00:29:19.829 --> 00:29:23.119
Yeah, so we went back to school. Oh, yes. That's
797
00:29:23.140 --> 00:29:25.259
been successful. She loves her new teacher.
798
00:29:25.609 --> 00:29:27.299
Yeah, it was a bit of a stressful first week,
799
00:29:27.319 --> 00:29:28.740
but now I feel like we're back into the rhythm
800
00:29:28.779 --> 00:29:30.200
and I'm getting my life together, Josh.
801
00:29:30.700 --> 00:29:35.869
Yeah. I'm just texting Bobbins. That was quick. Well, I
802
00:29:35.869 --> 00:29:38.809
just put topless F of parenting how? December the 7th,
803
00:29:38.849 --> 00:29:39.670
question mark. 9th.
804
00:29:40.789 --> 00:29:40.869
9th.
805
00:29:40.970 --> 00:29:42.990
That's what I wrote. 7th.
806
00:29:43.309 --> 00:29:44.150
Where did that come from?
807
00:29:44.289 --> 00:29:47.039
I don't know. 7 and 9 are quite similar numbers,
808
00:29:47.119 --> 00:29:49.220
aren't they? Like odd, high.
809
00:29:49.559 --> 00:29:51.500
Yeah, I get them confused quite a lot. That's why
810
00:29:51.539 --> 00:29:54.640
I didn't get the James Bond gig. Oh, this is
811
00:29:54.680 --> 00:29:56.180
good stuff.
812
00:29:56.180 --> 00:29:56.259
009.
813
00:29:56.259 --> 00:29:56.900
Sorry, guys.
814
00:29:56.960 --> 00:29:57.299
Sorry.
815
00:29:57.339 --> 00:29:59.980
I'm a bit nervous in the audition, just getting the
816
00:30:00.019 --> 00:30:00.700
numbers confused.
817
00:30:00.859 --> 00:30:02.609
I wouldn't want to give each other oral sex with
818
00:30:02.619 --> 00:30:03.170
you around, Rob.
819
00:30:03.170 --> 00:30:03.519
67.
820
00:30:03.519 --> 00:30:05.630
67 would just.
821
00:30:05.450 --> 00:30:07.470
Be sort of quite a stiff neck, wouldn't it?
822
00:30:07.470 --> 00:30:08.170
So it might actually be that.
823
00:30:08.190 --> 00:30:11.309
Yeah, maybe it would be me and you, yeah. Get
824
00:30:11.349 --> 00:30:13.809
some bloody bueno down there. Let's enjoy ourselves. Oh, mate,
825
00:30:13.829 --> 00:30:16.329
get the osteopath round. I'm not getting my fair share here.
826
00:30:17.269 --> 00:30:18.670
Get the bueno sauce on it.
827
00:30:21.930 --> 00:30:25.190
Oh, God. Anyway, it's actually been fine. The weekend flew
828
00:30:25.259 --> 00:30:28.680
by because of this thing. Me and Rose now have,
829
00:30:29.380 --> 00:30:31.579
this probably makes me sound like I'm 100 years old,
830
00:30:32.359 --> 00:30:34.299
but if we have to do a drive on a Saturday,
831
00:30:35.529 --> 00:30:39.430
we'll time it between 1 and 3 p.m. ideally, because
832
00:30:39.450 --> 00:30:43.839
then Pick of the Pops is on Radio 2. Has
833
00:30:43.880 --> 00:30:44.720
your camera stopped working?
834
00:30:44.940 --> 00:30:49.930
No, no, I'm just processing. It's been fun doing this show.
835
00:30:56.259 --> 00:30:58.039
Pick of the Pops is my favourite radio.
836
00:30:57.779 --> 00:30:59.339
Show on earth. Is that Paul Gambaccini?
837
00:30:59.359 --> 00:30:59.859
I'm only joking.
838
00:30:59.900 --> 00:31:01.839
No, it used to be. It's Mark Goodyear.
839
00:31:02.059 --> 00:31:03.000
What happens at Pick of the Pops? I mean, I
840
00:31:03.019 --> 00:31:03.359
should know.
841
00:31:03.380 --> 00:31:05.400
I'm on the radio. You should know. You listen, obviously.
842
00:31:05.420 --> 00:31:07.240
You have it on all the time. Mate, I'm listening
843
00:31:07.259 --> 00:31:08.579
to Talk Sport. You listen to Chappelle Rhone.
844
00:31:08.619 --> 00:31:11.019
No, do you know what? I am obsessed with Talk Sport.
845
00:31:11.059 --> 00:31:13.079
Talk to me about Talk Sport. You texted me earlier
846
00:31:13.099 --> 00:31:14.900
saying how much you love Talk Sport. I love it.
847
00:31:15.059 --> 00:31:16.809
We had quite a stressful morning getting out of the house.
848
00:31:16.829 --> 00:31:19.809
We were all arguing and kicking off about stuff. I
849
00:31:19.849 --> 00:31:20.849
don't want to eat this.
850
00:31:20.950 --> 00:31:21.450
Anyway.
851
00:31:21.980 --> 00:31:23.579
I get in the car, drive into the office, and
852
00:31:23.599 --> 00:31:25.940
I put Talksport on. Ali McCoyst.
853
00:31:26.680 --> 00:31:29.289
Like, Andy Townsend. We've got to get him on. We've
854
00:31:29.329 --> 00:31:30.029
got to get him on.
855
00:31:30.269 --> 00:31:31.049
Ali McCoyst.
856
00:31:31.470 --> 00:31:34.349
It's Andy Townsend. There's been some internet problems. Ali McCoyst
857
00:31:34.410 --> 00:31:37.130
isn't at his desk. He's doing it from Glasgow today. Anyway,
858
00:31:37.430 --> 00:31:38.930
Ali McCoyst booms on.
859
00:31:39.369 --> 00:31:40.089
Oh, sorry I'm late.
860
00:31:40.250 --> 00:31:42.089
There's a deer stuck in my garden, so I've just
861
00:31:42.150 --> 00:31:44.950
filmed it. And he's being funny about it. He's having
862
00:31:44.990 --> 00:31:47.470
a laugh. They talk about the most dangerous animal in
863
00:31:47.490 --> 00:31:48.059
the UK.
864
00:31:48.359 --> 00:31:49.079
Actually, a cow.
865
00:31:49.660 --> 00:31:49.960
Oh, yeah?
866
00:31:50.339 --> 00:31:53.119
Yeah, not the adder. Because cows interact with people more
867
00:31:53.140 --> 00:31:54.420
and they're big and they're heavy and powerful.
868
00:31:54.440 --> 00:31:55.779
Yeah, I think that's true.
869
00:31:55.839 --> 00:31:57.630
And then this is what I love most about it all.
870
00:31:57.990 --> 00:31:59.829
I love Ali McCoy sounding townsend, don't get me wrong,
871
00:31:59.890 --> 00:32:04.589
but football fans ringing up on a Monday and especially
872
00:32:04.609 --> 00:32:07.480
if it's like Man United or Tottenham or a team
873
00:32:07.519 --> 00:32:10.460
like that as an Arsenal fan, when their team's lost
874
00:32:10.700 --> 00:32:14.000
and they ring up with an absolute head loss, And
875
00:32:14.059 --> 00:32:16.069
they're so angry over it. Let's face it, it's not
876
00:32:16.089 --> 00:32:17.910
that important, football. I love football as much as you,
877
00:32:17.930 --> 00:32:19.869
but if you lose, you lose. I want Arsenal to
878
00:32:19.910 --> 00:32:20.349
win and do well.
879
00:32:20.390 --> 00:32:22.269
How quickly are you over it when Arsenal lose?
880
00:32:22.470 --> 00:32:25.690
Honestly, even when Saka missed that penalty, as soon as
881
00:32:25.730 --> 00:32:27.470
I turned my back and started walking down the stairs
882
00:32:27.509 --> 00:32:28.369
and took the flare.
883
00:32:28.150 --> 00:32:32.319
Up my arse, I was fine. Yeah.
884
00:32:32.420 --> 00:32:34.759
But even if we win, like, you know, the next day,
885
00:32:34.779 --> 00:32:37.440
you know, I'm over it and stuff. So hearing football
886
00:32:37.460 --> 00:32:41.339
fans lose their head and getting goaded by the presenters,
887
00:32:41.420 --> 00:32:42.000
I love it, Josh.
888
00:32:42.200 --> 00:32:42.420
Yeah.
889
00:32:42.519 --> 00:32:42.960
I love that.
890
00:32:43.119 --> 00:32:46.950
I love people and their idiosyncrasies and their emotion, either
891
00:32:46.990 --> 00:32:49.930
good or bad or whatever, more so than music. I
892
00:32:49.970 --> 00:32:52.529
hear the melody in life, Josh, not through instruments.
893
00:32:52.549 --> 00:32:52.910
Oh, my God.
894
00:32:53.309 --> 00:32:53.970
Oh, my God.
895
00:32:55.180 --> 00:32:57.180
So you're listening to Pick of the Pops. So what
896
00:32:57.200 --> 00:32:58.980
do they pick out the pops? How does the show work?
897
00:32:59.440 --> 00:33:03.559
They do the top 20. Each hour is a separate year.
898
00:33:03.619 --> 00:33:06.480
They do this week, that year. So they do this
899
00:33:06.559 --> 00:33:12.430
week in 1994. Right. So the actual week that it is. Yeah.
900
00:33:12.730 --> 00:33:15.309
So they'll go September. And then they'll play through the
901
00:33:15.349 --> 00:33:17.210
top 20. That's a good idea. It is a good idea.
902
00:33:17.230 --> 00:33:19.609
I'm sure it's a great show, Josh. And I'd love
903
00:33:19.630 --> 00:33:21.730
to listen. But plan in your actual.
904
00:33:22.309 --> 00:33:25.210
drives journeys around and then the kids must be like
905
00:33:25.430 --> 00:33:27.049
oh fucking.
906
00:33:26.450 --> 00:33:28.750
Hell they've got their ipads on.
907
00:33:28.789 --> 00:33:30.410
Oh yeah so we don't do ipads in the car
908
00:33:30.430 --> 00:33:31.130
they get sick.
909
00:33:31.210 --> 00:33:34.750
They love it so they're watching whatever they're watching you
910
00:33:34.789 --> 00:33:37.470
know where did you go on saturday we went to
911
00:33:37.809 --> 00:33:40.369
near st albans oh not too far then no not
912
00:33:40.410 --> 00:33:43.430
too far it's an hour it was very pleasant indeed
913
00:33:43.730 --> 00:33:44.029
did you.
914
00:33:43.990 --> 00:33:45.309
Try and delay the journey to get the full two
915
00:33:45.329 --> 00:33:46.269
hours of pick of the pops.
916
00:33:46.130 --> 00:33:49.029
In no we did just an hour and a bit I.
917
00:33:48.990 --> 00:33:51.490
Think old people do love familiarity, no offence.
918
00:33:51.829 --> 00:33:54.490
Well, that's the thing, isn't it? Young people will be
919
00:33:54.539 --> 00:33:56.380
streaming something, Rob, in their car.
920
00:33:56.519 --> 00:33:59.259
Well, old people are creatures of habit, but I think
921
00:33:59.359 --> 00:34:01.160
older people get used to that habit for longer.
922
00:34:01.180 --> 00:34:03.160
Do you know what I mean? Young people will be like,
923
00:34:03.180 --> 00:34:03.859
they've just done it.
924
00:34:03.960 --> 00:34:04.380
For 40 years.
925
00:34:04.420 --> 00:34:07.799
But Radio 4 are talking about, you know the pips.
926
00:34:07.480 --> 00:34:08.179
At the top of the hour?
927
00:34:08.199 --> 00:34:11.559
I didn't even know about this until today. Bib, bib, bib.
928
00:34:12.090 --> 00:34:13.510
And that used to give you the exact time when
929
00:34:13.530 --> 00:34:13.989
it was on radio.
930
00:34:14.010 --> 00:34:16.090
But now because people are streaming and it's not actually
931
00:34:16.130 --> 00:34:17.969
bang on the hour because there's always a delay.
932
00:34:18.469 --> 00:34:18.610
Yeah.
933
00:34:18.650 --> 00:34:20.269
And it might be removing the pips because actually it
934
00:34:20.289 --> 00:34:21.710
doesn't serve the purpose it once did.
935
00:34:21.730 --> 00:34:22.210
Right.
936
00:34:22.230 --> 00:34:24.110
So the whole point would be like back in the day,
937
00:34:24.250 --> 00:34:25.449
if you had a clock in your office.
938
00:34:25.590 --> 00:34:27.000
Yeah. You'd be like, what time is it?
939
00:34:27.429 --> 00:34:29.639
Oh, let's listen to Radio 4 and then we can
940
00:34:29.679 --> 00:34:31.920
time it with a pip so that that clock's exactly right.
941
00:34:32.480 --> 00:34:34.940
This is before the internet and ringing up the talking clock.
942
00:34:34.960 --> 00:34:36.719
Remember the talking clock? Yeah.
943
00:34:37.380 --> 00:34:39.679
Mental. You have to ring a number, one, two, three,
944
00:34:39.699 --> 00:34:40.739
and it'll tell you the exact time.
945
00:34:41.050 --> 00:34:44.050
I know. Sponsored, wasn't it? It was like the time
946
00:34:44.110 --> 00:34:47.889
sponsored by thingy. Lenny Henry did it once for Comet Relief. Yeah.
947
00:34:48.090 --> 00:34:49.300
So they were talking about getting rid of that. And
948
00:34:49.320 --> 00:34:51.219
I was like, who actually cares about the pips? But
949
00:34:51.239 --> 00:34:52.340
there's people out there who love the pips.
950
00:34:52.380 --> 00:34:54.239
People love the pips. And they're the kind of people
951
00:34:54.260 --> 00:34:55.639
that listen to Radio 4.
952
00:34:55.639 --> 00:34:56.420
Time to move on, though.
953
00:34:56.980 --> 00:34:59.909
Time to move on. Life changes. But you like Pickle Pop.
954
00:34:59.929 --> 00:35:01.619
It's good for you. Why don't you host it?
955
00:35:01.869 --> 00:35:03.929
Do you know what? I'd love to host it. This
956
00:35:03.949 --> 00:35:06.380
is my second call. Get me on Hosting Pick up
957
00:35:06.400 --> 00:35:08.739
the Hops. Get Ali McCoy on Parenting How. These are
958
00:35:08.780 --> 00:35:10.860
the two things. And you wanted to do Inside the Factory,
959
00:35:10.880 --> 00:35:12.630
didn't you? But then you realised Paddy McGuinness got it.
960
00:35:12.880 --> 00:35:15.199
Paddy McGuinness got it. And to be honest, Rob, I
961
00:35:15.260 --> 00:35:16.800
don't think I would enjoy it as much as I
962
00:35:16.820 --> 00:35:17.590
enjoy watching it.
963
00:35:17.900 --> 00:35:18.579
Inside the Factory?
964
00:35:19.119 --> 00:35:23.260
Yeah, I don't actually enjoy those long days filming away
965
00:35:23.300 --> 00:35:23.699
from home.
966
00:35:24.280 --> 00:35:26.550
I think quarter to six and you've just got to
967
00:35:26.570 --> 00:35:27.389
put a hairnet on.
968
00:35:27.840 --> 00:35:28.349
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
969
00:35:28.369 --> 00:35:30.090
To go in to watch Corn Flakes be made again.
970
00:35:30.389 --> 00:35:30.829
Oh, God.
971
00:35:30.869 --> 00:35:31.690
For a wide shot.
972
00:35:32.139 --> 00:35:36.320
Yeah, yeah, yeah. TV's not as quick-moving as you think
973
00:35:36.360 --> 00:35:37.710
it is when you watch it. Let's put it that way.
974
00:35:37.719 --> 00:35:39.650
And you'd have to really pretend to care.
975
00:35:39.710 --> 00:35:43.429
Yeah, and, like, also, when you've got your downtime, you're
976
00:35:43.469 --> 00:35:45.670
just on an industrial estate. Do you know what I mean?
977
00:35:45.690 --> 00:35:49.230
It's not like you go, oh, at least I'm filming
978
00:35:49.269 --> 00:35:51.670
in Monaco with Lewis Hamilton, like you and Romesh. You're
979
00:35:51.730 --> 00:35:53.269
doing that, and then you're like, where are you? And
980
00:35:53.289 --> 00:35:55.820
I'm like, I'm in the McVitie's factory on the outskirts
981
00:35:55.860 --> 00:35:58.800
of Coventry for three days. Right.
982
00:36:02.980 --> 00:36:06.320
This is your personality. You're managing to get depressed about
983
00:36:06.340 --> 00:36:07.239
it and you're not even doing it.
984
00:36:07.239 --> 00:36:08.179
I know.
985
00:36:08.199 --> 00:36:09.760
You just depressed yourself thinking about that.
986
00:36:10.139 --> 00:36:10.280
Right.
987
00:36:10.300 --> 00:36:13.269
Let's do a couple of good emails. Yeah, boy. Someone
988
00:36:13.309 --> 00:36:16.489
dropped into my DMs, Rob. Oh, hello. To say, what's
989
00:36:16.510 --> 00:36:19.829
the email address? Because they had a great Schoolyard Shaggers,
990
00:36:19.849 --> 00:36:22.269
which we're trying to collect for a special episode. Michael,
991
00:36:22.329 --> 00:36:24.469
could you say what the email address is?
992
00:36:24.730 --> 00:36:29.719
It's in every single episode description. There's 400 and something
993
00:36:29.760 --> 00:36:31.800
examples to find that email. It's quicker to do that
994
00:36:31.840 --> 00:36:33.940
than to DM you, which you have to do several times.
995
00:36:34.000 --> 00:36:34.570
And what is it?
996
00:36:34.820 --> 00:36:36.780
Hello at lockdownparenting.co.uk.
997
00:36:37.099 --> 00:36:41.420
Oh, I like this. Sexy and angry, Michael. Michael, I
998
00:36:41.440 --> 00:36:43.719
know what's got on your nerves at the moment, actually.
999
00:36:44.119 --> 00:36:46.110
is the amount of people that are having a go
1000
00:36:46.449 --> 00:36:49.699
at you mainly for putting in the old intro to
1001
00:36:49.739 --> 00:36:52.900
Parenting Hell that no one likes with the alarm and
1002
00:36:52.920 --> 00:36:55.670
the dogs barking and things like that. And that was
1003
00:36:55.710 --> 00:36:57.409
only for like one episode? Because I saw some of
1004
00:36:57.429 --> 00:36:58.750
the comments and I was like, oh, bloody hell, maybe
1005
00:36:58.769 --> 00:37:00.409
he's done that. They seem to go mad about this.
1006
00:37:00.429 --> 00:37:01.610
How many episodes was it on there for?
1007
00:37:02.030 --> 00:37:03.820
It was just the one episode. But I think obviously
1008
00:37:03.860 --> 00:37:06.159
people are listening at different times. So it felt like
1009
00:37:06.460 --> 00:37:09.019
the train of correspondence felt like maybe it was there
1010
00:37:09.059 --> 00:37:09.559
for longer.
1011
00:37:09.659 --> 00:37:09.900
It wasn't.
1012
00:37:09.920 --> 00:37:10.500
It was just one episode.
1013
00:37:10.539 --> 00:37:12.059
I just like to keep people on their toes. I
1014
00:37:12.079 --> 00:37:13.739
like to remind them of how good they've got it.
1015
00:37:13.940 --> 00:37:14.900
And that's what it could be like.
1016
00:37:14.920 --> 00:37:17.699
Yeah. Sometimes change is good. Yeah. Is that why you
1017
00:37:17.719 --> 00:37:17.980
did it?
1018
00:37:18.119 --> 00:37:18.559
What happened?
1019
00:37:19.059 --> 00:37:20.659
No, I was in New York and I didn't have
1020
00:37:20.679 --> 00:37:22.059
the hard drive with the new version on.
1021
00:37:22.099 --> 00:37:22.280
Sorry.
1022
00:37:24.929 --> 00:37:28.650
And keeping them on their toes. Michael's got fucking about
1023
00:37:28.670 --> 00:37:30.829
this morning. Right, let's do a couple of these stories.
1024
00:37:30.849 --> 00:37:32.030
I've got some boomers here, Josh.
1025
00:37:32.309 --> 00:37:33.550
Yeah, hit me with a boomer.
1026
00:37:33.639 --> 00:37:34.159
Hi, Rob and Josh.
1027
00:37:34.219 --> 00:37:35.579
I have a story for you that relates to your
1028
00:37:35.599 --> 00:37:37.880
question about if a family has to pay to visit
1029
00:37:37.920 --> 00:37:40.920
a graveyard with an entry fee, but it also ties
1030
00:37:41.039 --> 00:37:44.159
in with a childhood graveyard trip my own potentially boomer
1031
00:37:44.239 --> 00:37:45.050
parents took me on.
1032
00:37:45.090 --> 00:37:46.949
Is this when I went to Highgate Cemetery and I
1033
00:37:46.949 --> 00:37:48.429
had to pay to get out? Yes.
1034
00:37:48.869 --> 00:37:50.590
I imagine it's free for family members, isn't it?
1035
00:37:51.179 --> 00:37:53.579
I think you get a certain amount of free family members.
1036
00:37:53.599 --> 00:37:56.940
It's like permit parking vouchers if you live in central London.
1037
00:37:57.559 --> 00:37:57.860
Here we go.
1038
00:37:57.880 --> 00:38:01.449
This is from Sana from Dundee. When I was about 10,
1039
00:38:01.440 --> 00:38:03.639
my parents used to take me to graveyards on holiday
1040
00:38:03.679 --> 00:38:05.659
to look for information for their family tree.
1041
00:38:05.840 --> 00:38:06.760
Jesus Christ.
1042
00:38:06.800 --> 00:38:07.639
Fucking hell.
1043
00:38:08.179 --> 00:38:10.730
On visiting a cathedral in Scotland, we were told we
1044
00:38:10.769 --> 00:38:13.389
could get free entry if we were visiting family graves.
1045
00:38:14.010 --> 00:38:16.809
On finding the grave, it was one of those ones
1046
00:38:16.909 --> 00:38:19.949
that is a stone slab on stone legs, so there's
1047
00:38:19.969 --> 00:38:23.510
a space underneath between the slab and the earth. My
1048
00:38:23.590 --> 00:38:25.570
dad said, oh, what's that sticking out of the earth?
1049
00:38:25.670 --> 00:38:28.480
And proceeded to dust off a jawbone full of teeth.
1050
00:38:28.800 --> 00:38:29.079
What?
1051
00:38:29.900 --> 00:38:32.940
He then started pointing out some other bones casually popping out.
1052
00:38:32.860 --> 00:38:33.619
To say hello.
1053
00:38:33.639 --> 00:38:35.099
Oh my fucking God.
1054
00:38:35.320 --> 00:38:37.519
I think I just touched my ancestor, he said. What?
1055
00:38:38.079 --> 00:38:38.320
What?
1056
00:38:39.400 --> 00:38:42.019
So sometimes this happens as the bones come up because of,
1057
00:38:42.159 --> 00:38:42.739
you know, the soil.
1058
00:38:42.860 --> 00:38:43.949
Oh, my God.
1059
00:38:44.139 --> 00:38:46.030
On thinking he was doing the right thing, he went
1060
00:38:46.070 --> 00:38:48.469
to the porter cabin to tell the visitor assistant the
1061
00:38:48.489 --> 00:38:52.570
concerning news. The assistant was sitting nonchalantly drinking a cuppa
1062
00:38:52.630 --> 00:38:55.050
and casually swung a door open to a cupboard by
1063
00:38:55.090 --> 00:38:58.130
his feet and said, oh, yeah, the flooding has brought them.
1064
00:38:58.090 --> 00:39:00.989
All to the surface. Oh, my fucking God.
1065
00:39:01.170 --> 00:39:03.369
We just shoved them all in here and proceeded to
1066
00:39:03.429 --> 00:39:04.809
show us his cupboard that was full of.
1067
00:39:04.789 --> 00:39:09.329
A mix of people's bones. Oh, my God. This is
1068
00:39:09.369 --> 00:39:10.179
a great story.
1069
00:39:10.820 --> 00:39:13.719
My dad, not wanting his ancestor to join the orgy
1070
00:39:13.760 --> 00:39:15.780
of bones in this guy's cupboard, went back to the
1071
00:39:15.820 --> 00:39:18.420
grave and pushed his ancestors back into the earth with
1072
00:39:18.480 --> 00:39:19.179
his finger.
1073
00:39:19.619 --> 00:39:20.659
Oh, my God.
1074
00:39:20.780 --> 00:39:23.050
Job well done and all witnessed by a 10-year-old me
1075
00:39:23.070 --> 00:39:24.630
who is now quite a fan of a wander in
1076
00:39:24.650 --> 00:39:29.670
a graveyard. Also, what a depressing holiday. They're from Scotland.
1077
00:39:29.690 --> 00:39:32.050
They're in Scotland visiting graves after a flood.
1078
00:39:32.250 --> 00:39:34.690
Yeah, fucking hell. Come to a soft play, will you?
1079
00:39:35.269 --> 00:39:39.690
Keep up the fantastic work. You both bring a smile
1080
00:39:39.730 --> 00:39:41.630
to my face on the daily. Saw you both in
1081
00:39:41.670 --> 00:39:45.070
Manchester and I got tickets for you, Robin. Edinburgh, row E,
1082
00:39:45.110 --> 00:39:47.130
and we'll be grabbing tickets for you, Josh, when they
1083
00:39:47.190 --> 00:39:49.789
are announced. Stay sexy and relatable. Well, I'll tell you
1084
00:39:49.809 --> 00:39:52.260
something about that. I've just got the artwork through and
1085
00:39:52.280 --> 00:39:53.880
I'm just trying to work out how to do a post.
1086
00:39:54.280 --> 00:39:55.719
Why don't you do it as a reel instead of
1087
00:39:55.780 --> 00:39:58.440
a picture? Because a reel will work better, Josh.
1088
00:39:58.860 --> 00:40:01.699
Well, I've got a reel, which is the poster animated.
1089
00:40:01.760 --> 00:40:05.159
Yeah, but you're allowed more than one reel. This isn't podcasting. Right,
1090
00:40:05.179 --> 00:40:05.980
let me do another one while.
1091
00:40:05.920 --> 00:40:07.099
You do that. Michael, leave it in, though.
1092
00:40:09.250 --> 00:40:12.130
Right, I'm going to do another boomer parent in. Hi,
1093
00:40:12.170 --> 00:40:14.170
Rob and Josh. Whenever I go away for a trip,
1094
00:40:14.210 --> 00:40:16.130
I'm forced to leave the house at 1pm and I'm
1095
00:40:16.230 --> 00:40:18.550
forced to be locked into my device so my old
1096
00:40:18.670 --> 00:40:21.699
man granddad dad listens to Pick of the Pops.
1097
00:40:23.780 --> 00:40:25.719
Hi, Rob, Josh and Michael. Please could you do a
1098
00:40:25.760 --> 00:40:28.440
small business shout out to my amazing sister-in-law who runs
1099
00:40:28.480 --> 00:40:32.550
The Pencil Nerd, a one-woman show making geeky, funny, zeitgeisty,
1100
00:40:32.590 --> 00:40:35.769
millennial and personalised pencils out of her home in Gateshead.
1101
00:40:36.349 --> 00:40:40.449
Have a look at her wares on Instagram at thepencilnerd.co.
1102
00:40:40.710 --> 00:40:40.989
Lovely.
1103
00:40:41.010 --> 00:40:42.860
And get in touch if you're a proper pencil nerd
1104
00:40:42.880 --> 00:40:45.599
like Pepe Nana and have a favourite pencil to take
1105
00:40:45.639 --> 00:40:47.760
to bed. Stay sexy, lads. Love, Kayleigh, 472 months. Mam
1106
00:40:47.780 --> 00:40:53.619
to Rowan. 13.75 months. There we go. There you go.
1107
00:40:53.639 --> 00:40:55.900
The pencil nerd. Right, we've run out of time because
1108
00:40:55.940 --> 00:40:57.280
Josh did too much of his own promo.
1109
00:40:57.420 --> 00:41:00.500
Oh, don't. Don't do that to me. No, let's do
1110
00:41:00.519 --> 00:41:02.300
a quick one. Good morning, Rob, Josh and Michael.
1111
00:41:02.400 --> 00:41:04.460
Please could I request a small business shout out for
1112
00:41:04.500 --> 00:41:08.050
my lovely friend, Rosie's small business, Memento.
1113
00:41:08.159 --> 00:41:11.909
Like for memento, but memento. She uses 3D printing and
1114
00:41:12.030 --> 00:41:16.690
scanning to make bespoke pregnancy, postpartum and mum and baby sculptures.
1115
00:41:16.809 --> 00:41:19.510
They really are a beautiful keepsake. She recently quit her
1116
00:41:19.530 --> 00:41:22.659
job to go full-time. She's based in the Lincolnshire area,
1117
00:41:22.699 --> 00:41:27.719
and you can find her on Facebook at Mummento, M-U-M-E-N-T-O,
1118
00:41:28.039 --> 00:41:31.539
and Instagram, Mummento underscore sculptures.
1119
00:41:31.940 --> 00:41:32.519
Love the podcast.
1120
00:41:32.559 --> 00:41:35.119
It's helped keep me company on the endless pram naps
1121
00:41:35.139 --> 00:41:38.159
for my little one, Lauren and Arthur.
1122
00:41:38.559 --> 00:41:41.909
Thank you very much. Good luck with Memento. Josh, I'll
1123
00:41:41.929 --> 00:41:43.550
see you next week, okay? And we can pick the
1124
00:41:43.570 --> 00:41:44.929
bones out of your torso.
1125
00:41:45.409 --> 00:41:45.909
Oh, my God.
1126
00:41:46.409 --> 00:41:46.789
All right.
1127
00:41:47.130 --> 00:41:47.570
Bye.
1128
00:41:47.639 --> 00:41:47.880
Bye.
1129
00:41:55.500 --> 00:41:57.940
I'm Max Rushton. I'm David O'Doherty. And we'd like to
1130
00:41:57.960 --> 00:41:59.760
invite you to listen to our new podcast, What Did
1131
00:41:59.780 --> 00:42:00.480
You Do Yesterday?
1132
00:42:00.639 --> 00:42:04.320
It's a show that asks guests the big question, quite literally,
1133
00:42:04.739 --> 00:42:05.980
what did you do yesterday?
1134
00:42:06.280 --> 00:42:06.659
That's it.
1135
00:42:06.960 --> 00:42:10.300
That is it. Max, I'm still not sure. Where do
1136
00:42:10.340 --> 00:42:13.409
we put the stress? Is it what did you do yesterday?
1137
00:42:14.030 --> 00:42:16.030
What did you do yesterday?
1138
00:42:16.050 --> 00:42:16.750
You know what I mean?
1139
00:42:16.789 --> 00:42:18.510
What did you do yesterday?
1140
00:42:18.889 --> 00:42:21.440
I'm really downplaying it. Like, what did you do yesterday? Like,
1141
00:42:21.480 --> 00:42:24.070
I'm just a guy just asking a question. But do
1142
00:42:24.090 --> 00:42:27.050
you think I should go bigger? What did you do yesterday?
1143
00:42:27.260 --> 00:42:28.610
What did you do yesterday?
1144
00:42:28.909 --> 00:42:31.590
Every single word this time, I'm going to try and
1145
00:42:31.630 --> 00:42:33.210
make it like it is the killer word.
1146
00:42:33.570 --> 00:42:39.610
What did you do yesterday? I think that's too much,
1147
00:42:39.690 --> 00:42:43.510
isn't it? That's over the top. What did you do yesterday?
1148
00:42:43.670 --> 00:42:45.789
Available wherever you get your podcasts every Sunday.
1149
00:42:50.409 --> 00:42:52.639
I'm Natalie Cassidy. And I've been wanting to do a
1150
00:42:52.679 --> 00:42:54.679
podcast of my own for a very long time.
1151
00:42:55.000 --> 00:42:55.599
And here it is.
1152
00:42:56.219 --> 00:42:58.920
I'm going to be talking each week to family, friends,
1153
00:42:59.400 --> 00:43:02.300
most importantly, you. I want to talk about the issues
1154
00:43:02.320 --> 00:43:05.000
that are bothering me, things that make me smile, and
1155
00:43:05.039 --> 00:43:07.119
how we get through that washing basket without having a
1156
00:43:07.139 --> 00:43:10.380
nervous breakdown. This is a podcast for the general public,
1157
00:43:10.440 --> 00:43:13.159
for the normal people. So get on board, become part
1158
00:43:13.179 --> 00:43:15.280
of my community, and let's have a laugh.