S7 EP36: Adam Kay

WEBVTT
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Hello, I'm Rob Beckett.
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And I'm Josh Willicombe.
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Welcome to Parenting Hell, the show in which Josh and
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I discuss what it's really like to be a parent,
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which I would say can be a little tricky.
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So, to make ourselves, and hopefully you, feel better about
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the trials and tribulations of modern day parenting, each week
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we'll be chatting to a famous parent about.
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How they're coping. Or hopefully how they're not coping.
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And we'll also be hearing from you, the listener, with
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your tips, advice, and of course, tales of parenting woe.
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Because let's be honest, there are plenty of times where
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none of us know what we're doing. Hello, you're listening
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to Parenting Health.
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I haven't got an intro, Rob. I haven't got an intro.
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All right, OK, don't panic.
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We're all right, baby. We haven't got time for an
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intro today because we're doing the driving theory test, Rob. Right, OK.
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Yes, this is the feature no one asked for, but
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they're getting, where Josh Widdicombe is taking on a UK...
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driving theory test with zero revision.
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Yeah zero revision except the fact i've driven for the
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last 23 years.
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And you should know all these things now because of
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you've passed it once before.
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Okay we bring on adam k but we said we
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do this last week so we'll just knock this out
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in the intro normally we do an intro where we
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discuss adam k he needs no introduction he's a national.
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Treasure national treasure nhs that that thing with um paddington
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in that show yeah this is gonna hurt ben wishaw
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what's that yeah yeah yeah What was it called?
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This might hurt, or this is going to hurt.
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This is going to hurt from his book. Anyway, Adam Kay,
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absolutely brilliant. Brilliant children's book. Brilliant children's book.
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You just want to do the theory, don't you? Yeah,
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let's get on with it.
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You've got an hour to do this normally, but we're
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going to probably whiz through this, guys. We're not going
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to do this for a whole part. Okay, question one, Josh,
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on your theory test. How can you use your vehicle's
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engine to control your speed?
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Accelerate.
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Um the options are change to a lower gear reverse
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changes to a higher gear or selecting neutral lower gear
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okay next question you're approaching a roundabout what should you
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do if a cyclist ahead is signaling to turn right
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stay behind them give the cyclist plenty of room yeah
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that's the one yeah you can have that.
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One i'm flying it i'm absolutely what should you do
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if you think the driver of the vehicle in front
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has forgotten to cancel their right indicator Flash your lights,
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sound your horn, overtake them, stay behind and don't overtake.
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Stay behind and don't overtake. I'm fucking cooking on gas here.
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That's three from three. What would a stiff neck say? Yeah, exactly.
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Rob would go hoot a horn and flash lights at
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that point.
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Go pull over, you wanker. Get out, scream, mug. Now,
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which sign... This is difficult on a podcast.
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Which sign... Oh, no. Means no stopping. It's like a
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red and blue kind of cross thing, isn't it? Yeah,
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you're correct. Yeah, that's there.
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How should you use anti-lock brakes when you need to
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stop in an emergency? Keep pumping the foot brake to
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prevent skigging.
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I don't know what an anti-lock brake is.
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Brake normally, but grip the steering wheel tightly.
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No, it can't be that.
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Brake promptly and firmly until you've stopped. Apply the parking
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brake to reduce the stopping distance.
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It's C or D. I don't really know what anti-lock
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brakes are, so I'm going to go C. Okay, right,
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next question. What should you... It's 50 of these. What
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should you do... We'll do 30. Let's do 30.
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Okay, what should you do when you're approaching traffic lights
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that have red and amber showing together? Pass the lights
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if the road is clear. Take care because there's a
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fault with the lights. Wait for the green light. Stop
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because the lights are changing to red.
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Keep going, because it's about to change to green.
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Following a collision, a person has been injured. What would
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be a warning sign for shock?
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I think I should have gone with the green light,
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but it's too late now.
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Flush complexion, warm, dry skin, slow pulse, rapid, shallow breathing.
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Rapid, shallow breathing. Okay.
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You take some cough medicine given to you by a friend.
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What? What should you do? Check it doesn't make you drowsy.
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Uh okay ask um ask your friend if it's taking
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medicine affected they're driving drink some strong coffee Check the
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label to see if it will affect your driving.
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Yeah, label, label. Okay, cool, cool. That's a good one.
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That's an easy win, that is.
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Yeah.
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You're looking for someone to park your vehicle. Neither you
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or your passengers are disabled. What should you do if
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the only free spaces are marked for disabled drivers?
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Don't park in it. Don't park in it. Yeah.
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Wait for a regular parking space to come free. Easy peasy.
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How are you failing this, Jamie Lang?
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Right.
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What could you do to help injured people at an incident?
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Keep them warm and comfortable. Give them something to eat.
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Ideally porridge. Keep them on the move by walking them
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around or give them a warm drink.
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First one. Keep them more comfortable. I'm fucking pissing this.
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Right, we'll do 20 and see what happens. What should
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you do when you move off from behind a parked car?
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Give a signal after moving off. Look around before moving off.
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Look around after moving off. Use exterior mirrors only. B.
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Look around before moving off.
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Okay.
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You're approaching traffic. Is this interesting?
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You're approaching traffic lights. Everyone's playing along at home. It's
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got play at home ability. Imagine if you're like, I'm
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a huge fan of Adam Kay.
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I'm going to give this podcast a chance.
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I warn you, this is going to hurt new listeners. Josh,
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you're approaching traffic lights and the red light is showing.
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What signal will show next? Red and amber, green alone,
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amber alone, green and amber.
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Red and amber.
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Why is it dangerous to travel too close to the
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vehicle ahead?
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Come on.
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Your engine will overheat. Your mirrors will need adjusting. Your
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view of the road will be restricted. Your sat-nav will
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be confused. C. You're driving towards this left-hand bend. What
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danger should you be anticipating? It's like a country road
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going left, Josh.
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Okay.
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A vehicle overtaking you. Mud on the road. The road
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getting narrower. Pedestrians walking towards you.
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Pedestrians walking towards you. C. I wouldn't have known that.
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You're a little country boy, aren't you?
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Yeah, too bloody right.
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You're in a built-up area at night and the road
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is well lit. Why should you use dipped headlights? So
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that you can see further on the road, so that
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you can go at a much faster speed, so you
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can switch to the main beam quickly, so that you
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can be easily seen by others. D. 16 out of 20.
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Why should you allow extra room while overtaking a motorcyclist
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on a windy day? The rider may turn off suddenly
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and get out of the wind. To get out of
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the wind.
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How do you get out of the wind?
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The rider may be blown in front of you. The
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rider may stop suddenly. The rider may be travelling faster
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than normal.
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Blown.
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Okay, the rider may be blown in front of you.
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That's a very agile back passenger. Oh, for good bit
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of humour. You're following two cyclists as they approach a
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roundabout in the left-hand lane.
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Imagine if we'd done 50 of these. Fucking hell. Last three.
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Thanks for staying with us.
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You're following two cyclists as they approach a roundabout in
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the left-hand lane. Where would you expect the cyclist to go? Left, right,
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any direction, straight ahead?
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Any direction.
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Or the other option, go to a cafe, have a
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cake because they've earned it.
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Any direction? Yeah. That's how I failed my first test.
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I didn't know that.
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A big articulated lorry always took the outside lane in
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a roundabout.
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So I presumed he was going to turn off. Oh,
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but of course, because he's got to get round. Yeah, yeah.
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I didn't know that.
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We're all learning, aren't we?
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And if you are a cyclist listening to this while
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you're cycling and you're getting annoyed, you should be ashamed
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of yourself. You shouldn't be listening to a podcast whilst
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on a bike. Question 18. How should you dispose of
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a used vehicle battery?
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Here we go. Bury it in your garden.
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Put it in a dustbin. Take it to a local
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authority disposal site. Leave it on wasteland.
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I mean, that is mental. That is unbelievable, see. Leave
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it on Wasteland.
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So you've gone for D there, thank you.
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19.
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You wish to tow a trailer. No one wishes to
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do that. They just sort of have to.
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You wish.
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For I wish to tow a trailer. Where would you
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find the maximum nose weight for your vehicle's tow hitch?
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Fucking hell. I don't even understand the question.
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In the vehicle handbook, in the highway code, in your
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vehicle registration certificate, in your licence documents.
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Jesus. Handbook. I don't know. The vehicle handbook. Okay, next question.
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You're following a long vehicle approaching a crossroads. What should
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you do if the driver signals right but moves close
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to the left-hand curb?
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That's exactly what I was saying. Basically, that's exactly what
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I was just saying.
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So warn the driver about the wrong signal, wait behind
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the long vehicle, report driver to the police, overtake on
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the right-hand side.
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Report him to the police, the fucking... Loser. Just stay
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behind him.
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Okay, fair enough. Wait behind the long vehicle. Okay, right.
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That is your 20 questions. It'll obviously say you've failed
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because you've only done 20 out of 50, but I
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don't think we could... You know, people will be checking into.
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The A & E through boredom.
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You've basically got everyone right, Josh.
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Have I? You got them all correct, Josh. 20 out
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of 20. Oh, no, you didn't. Oh, God.
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What should you do when you're approaching traffic lights that
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have red and amber showing together?
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Oh, yeah, ploughed on through, didn't I?
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Wait for the green light. Not ploughing them through, you animal.
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Yeah, sorry.
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Yeah, so that was the only one you got wrong.
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Do you know what? It's pretty impressive, that, Josh, I'd say.
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Thank you very much.
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19 out of 20 right.
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Welcome all the Adam Kay fans. This is the podcast.
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This is over 300 episodes for you to enjoy. Thank
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you very much. This is the incredible Adam Kay.
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Adam, thanks for coming on the show. BAFTA winner, writer, comedian, performer.
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Got another book out. You're doing competitions, helping young kids.
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You're smashing life. But before we get on to that,
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we need to talk about the kids, because it's a
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parenting podcast.
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How many kids you got? What age? They're very young,
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aren't they, Adam? Is that right? Oh, God, I knew
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you were going to ask something like that. So they're
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eight months and 12 months. Right. And they're called Ziggy
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and Ruby. Ziggy and Ruby. And they're all right. I mean, they're...
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I don't know. Eight months and 12 months. Can you
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tell the.
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Does that feel like there's a big difference between 8
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months and 12 months yeah I mean I'm.
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Too tired to be able to to really To really
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answer that. I mean, there's sort of Ruby, who's the
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older one, was born prematurely and she was very tiny
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and there was all sorts of stuff going on. And
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then Ziggy came along and he was massive. So he's younger,
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but he looks like he's like, twice her age right
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okay but then again and she's tiny and she's like
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saying words and doing stuff and so that's quite disorientating
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to but basically i don't really know what's going on
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and it's just lovely to be uh out of their
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playroom for an hour.
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Yeah right i was gonna say because at 12 because
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they're through surrogacy so that they get the age gaps
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that's correct is it you and you're open talking about
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that isn't it is that right absolutely absolutely on it
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So the bumps are slightly off. So with twins, when
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they're exactly the same, because quite a lot happens within
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a few months, like when you've got an eight month
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old and a year old, they're at different developmental points.
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Whereas when you've got twins, even though it's busy with two,
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they're both doing the same thing. It must be exhausting
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to have them and have two, but they're just slightly
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off rather than being on the right, both on the
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same thing.
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Twins, but more difficult. The sleeping's always been slightly different
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and the eating's always been slightly different and their nap
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times are slightly different. a different um but presumably at
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some point they become a bit more sort of twinny
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like when you're like for example when you're like 43
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like me a difference of four months probably doesn't make
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any difference no certainly when you're less than a year
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it seems to be quite a big thing yes but
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even at school like you wouldn't speak to someone in
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the in the year below when you were like 17
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or something that would be that would be madness yeah Yeah,
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so it does even up. It does even up, I suppose.
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It has to. It's currently unsustainable, the situation. I couldn't
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tell you. When you're a doctor, you ask these questions
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if you're worried someone's got some sort of dementia thing
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going on. Who's the monarch? What day it is? Where
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are you? I reckon I'd get about three out of
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ten on any given day. I'd be admitted.
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I think it's when you've got young kids like that,
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it is just like being jet-lagged all the time.
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Yes. Constantly jet-lagged. That's a very good description.
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And you're working a lot at the moment as well.
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So how are you balancing that? How are you splitting
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the childcare with your partner at the moment then? How
285
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are you managing? Because just having a book out and
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the PR of a book is intense and it's contractually bound.
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So it's something you can't really... Oh, yeah. I'm not
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pretending I want to be here. This is literally in
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a contract. LAUGHTER This is three times shorter than Sunday brunch, Adam.
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Just enjoy the fact you're doing this one rather than
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having to go to London on a Sunday morning.
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But this isn't one of the shows where I can drink.
293
00:13:00.740 --> 00:13:03.980
so james has taken quite a lot of the the
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bit on it you know when i have to go
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off and do things which is tough on him but
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then when i get back um he gets his revenge
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and he's like right i've just been doing this for
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48 hours i'm out um but i think the other
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thing about work is um About a year ago, a
300
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year and a half ago, I ended my last tour
301
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of This Is Gonna Hurt and I'd played to like,
302
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300 000 people i thought what a lovely way to
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bow out live performing and my writing's my life now
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i sit in my room and i write and i've
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done that and that's been put to bed and now
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i've got the kids i'm just like right i wonder
307
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what wonder what dundee's like they must have a theater
308
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and so i've just uh just added like 30 dates
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00:13:49.480 --> 00:13:52.399
in the spring because i'm just just going to get
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some lovely sleep aren't i.
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You're going to take the you're going to take the
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family onto.
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Uh i'm gonna try try not to i mean unless
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there's some sort of two hotel situation we can.
315
00:14:02.730 --> 00:14:06.730
Uh I think you just need your space in the
316
00:14:06.769 --> 00:14:09.070
day you're almost performing from the moment you wake up
317
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aren't you that's the way it's all part of the
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performance on tour you need that space a.
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Lot of big touring acts obviously when they you know
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like when Adele's on tour I imagine she'll have a
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hotel and there'll be like a crew hotel which is
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nearer the venue and maybe not a five star so
323
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maybe you could put James and the kids in the
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crew Adele's.
325
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Not staying in the premiere inn is she no.
326
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She's not not anymore So what's your day looking like
327
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at the moment? Because it's all about routine when they're
328
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under a year, really, isn't it?
329
00:14:36.090 --> 00:14:38.470
What's the routine? There's a lot of routine. I'm all
330
00:14:38.490 --> 00:14:41.330
about the routine. The kids, much less so about the routine.
331
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Of course, yeah. We've had the discussion. They sleep very well,
332
00:14:46.009 --> 00:14:51.669
which is something. But then they don't sleep at all
333
00:14:51.710 --> 00:14:54.149
during the day. They're meant to... All the books say
334
00:14:54.169 --> 00:14:57.830
they nap. They can't read yet. They haven't read the books. Sure.
335
00:14:57.850 --> 00:15:01.820
They don't know they have to nap. Yeah. So it's pretty, pretty, pretty.
336
00:15:01.840 --> 00:15:03.720
So they don't nap in a day but sleep all night.
337
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Yeah. Which I think of the two I'd accept. Yes.
338
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I think you'd take that any day of the week.
339
00:15:10.570 --> 00:15:14.730
And we do– I mean, they sleep– there's a couple
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of whinges and whines and moans, and we do alternate
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nights in terms of who's responsible for getting up and
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replacing a dummy. I can hear the sound of a
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00:15:26.320 --> 00:15:31.679
dummy dropping from a mattress to the floor. I'd say
344
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a mile away. The worst sound, that sort of of
345
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the dummy hitting the floor because I know there's going
346
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to be some screaming after that.
347
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How many dummies are in the cot at night? Just
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the one in the mouth or do you.
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Have spares around them? We have 600 per cot.
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Yes, I think that's the best way.
351
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It's like a ball pit. Off chance that they'll just
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grab one and put it in and I don't need
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to get out of bed.
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I tell you, the day my daughter grabbed a dummy
355
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that was near her and put it in her mouth,
356
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I was laying there going, this is it, it's a
357
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new dawn.
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00:16:02.870 --> 00:16:06.820
This is where it all changes I can't imagine one
359
00:16:06.860 --> 00:16:08.220
day when.
360
00:16:08.120 --> 00:16:11.080
It's not your night what would have to happen for
361
00:16:11.120 --> 00:16:13.740
you to get up and help like how badly does
362
00:16:13.759 --> 00:16:17.480
it have to go for the motor to be a
363
00:16:17.559 --> 00:16:21.179
significant fire not just in the kitchen it would need
364
00:16:21.200 --> 00:16:23.899
to be really consuming a large proportion of.
365
00:16:23.860 --> 00:16:29.799
The habs I used to I used to A few
366
00:16:29.820 --> 00:16:32.500
years ago, I was getting like some sort of insomnia.
367
00:16:32.700 --> 00:16:35.059
And I was like, I used to pride myself on
368
00:16:35.100 --> 00:16:37.720
my sleep and I could sleep on my full nine,
369
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10 hours or whatever. And then my sleep started to
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00:16:40.139 --> 00:16:42.879
go and I was like, there's something, you know, something's
371
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not right. And even I went to see a doctor
372
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about it. And turns out what it, the thing is
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I just wasn't exhausted. And now I'm exhausted. I can-
374
00:16:53.289 --> 00:16:55.970
You just wasn't tired enough. I wasn't tired enough. And
375
00:16:56.029 --> 00:17:00.009
now I'm too tired. I could- I could have a
376
00:17:00.090 --> 00:17:02.580
sleep that was so long it would be technically a coma,
377
00:17:02.639 --> 00:17:05.400
I think. I think I would hit the criteria for that.
378
00:17:06.480 --> 00:17:09.720
Like James was away for a few days, getting revenge
379
00:17:09.759 --> 00:17:12.390
for me often being away. And by the end of that,
380
00:17:13.589 --> 00:17:16.490
I just couldn't do anything the next day. I have
381
00:17:17.210 --> 00:17:23.730
no idea. how a single parent does it. I literally
382
00:17:23.789 --> 00:17:27.650
can't understand it. I don't understand what the day even
383
00:17:27.950 --> 00:17:33.369
looks like. I have so much respect for my mates
384
00:17:33.769 --> 00:17:38.910
who've done that because I can't even envisage it. It's
385
00:17:39.150 --> 00:17:43.440
so exhausting. And I know two is a rough number
386
00:17:43.460 --> 00:17:45.660
of babies to have under the age of one, but...
387
00:17:46.220 --> 00:17:49.299
I've got friends who've done that as well. That is phenomenal.
388
00:17:49.319 --> 00:17:51.539
I think you're right in the heavy bit of it
389
00:17:51.559 --> 00:17:55.759
where it's constant, like everything sends it off slightly and
390
00:17:55.779 --> 00:17:59.099
they're not sleeping and things like that. You're constantly holding
391
00:17:59.140 --> 00:18:01.109
them or checking on them. It's not like when they're
392
00:18:01.130 --> 00:18:02.750
a bit older and they're running about. So you are
393
00:18:02.809 --> 00:18:03.930
in the hardcore.
394
00:18:03.950 --> 00:18:06.950
That's the thing, the relentlessness and the fact that working
395
00:18:06.990 --> 00:18:11.250
as a doctor was a tough job, but the shift ended.
396
00:18:11.269 --> 00:18:18.710
This shift doesn't end. But they are great kids. Ruby
397
00:18:18.789 --> 00:18:24.650
started saying words, which is obviously amazingly rewarding and, you know,
398
00:18:25.970 --> 00:18:30.819
makes up for the everything else she does. But we've
399
00:18:30.859 --> 00:18:32.140
got a dog. What was her first word? She got
400
00:18:32.160 --> 00:18:34.680
her first word. Well, her first word was dog. And
401
00:18:34.700 --> 00:18:37.720
we've got Pip, who's our dog, and she said dog.
402
00:18:37.920 --> 00:18:40.890
And that was amazing. And every time Pip would come,
403
00:18:40.930 --> 00:18:43.390
she'd say dog. And we're like, oh, we've got a genius. Yeah.
404
00:18:43.930 --> 00:18:48.809
And then we went to my mum's house and she's
405
00:18:48.829 --> 00:18:53.670
got a cat, Chitara, and Ruby pointed at it. Great
406
00:18:53.690 --> 00:18:56.609
name for a cat. It's a good name for a cat.
407
00:18:57.009 --> 00:19:00.329
And Ruby pointed at the cat and said, dog. And
408
00:19:00.369 --> 00:19:03.730
we were like, okay, close enough. And then we got
409
00:19:03.789 --> 00:19:06.029
back and she was like pointing to the fridge and
410
00:19:06.069 --> 00:19:11.170
saying dog. And turns out she thought that word just
411
00:19:11.210 --> 00:19:17.089
means object. There's something. It's just a thing. Just a
412
00:19:17.140 --> 00:19:23.750
sort of overall term for anything you see that isn't yourself. So,
413
00:19:23.769 --> 00:19:25.809
I mean, we've had a couple of words since. So
414
00:19:25.849 --> 00:19:28.799
she's got over that hump. But yeah, but that's that's
415
00:19:28.839 --> 00:19:30.319
amazing when they start to do stuff.
416
00:19:30.779 --> 00:19:33.980
We had a similar thing. We're not similar, but where
417
00:19:34.779 --> 00:19:37.319
for about a week. We thought my daughter was a
418
00:19:37.380 --> 00:19:43.250
genius because she'd watched... She was watching Strictly with Rose's mum.
419
00:19:44.569 --> 00:19:47.609
And at the end of... When they put the four
420
00:19:48.670 --> 00:19:53.599
scores out, she just... them up straight away. But then
421
00:19:53.640 --> 00:19:56.009
she watched it the following week, and Rose's mum doesn't
422
00:19:56.089 --> 00:19:59.250
notice that they come up... The final score comes up
423
00:19:59.289 --> 00:20:02.049
on the screen before Tess says it. So she was
424
00:20:02.089 --> 00:20:07.410
just reading it out loud. LAUGHTER And Rose's.
425
00:20:07.190 --> 00:20:08.769
Mum was like, it's unbelievable.
426
00:20:08.849 --> 00:20:11.430
She can do these four numbers just like that before
427
00:20:11.569 --> 00:20:12.450
Tessa's done it.
428
00:20:12.670 --> 00:20:16.490
It's like the book Matilda. Yeah, exactly. But no, she
429
00:20:16.519 --> 00:20:19.619
was just reading off the screen. Even so. It'll do.
430
00:20:19.740 --> 00:20:23.140
It'll do reading. Exactly. It still counts.
431
00:20:23.880 --> 00:20:26.259
Talking of reading, Adam, do you enjoy that, Rob?
432
00:20:26.779 --> 00:20:32.579
I really like that, actually. Talking of reading. Incredible inventions.
433
00:20:33.150 --> 00:20:34.130
Incredible inventions.
434
00:20:34.190 --> 00:20:35.690
I've also got Kay's Anatomy here.
435
00:20:36.009 --> 00:20:39.619
So I've got that. Look at that. Look at that.
436
00:20:39.690 --> 00:20:43.039
Is this out now? It's out now. Very much out now.
437
00:20:43.420 --> 00:20:47.900
Illustrated Henry Packer. Amazing Henry Packer. The amazing Henry Packer.
438
00:20:49.019 --> 00:20:53.569
And so this, I mean, it's a beautiful, good children's
439
00:20:53.609 --> 00:20:57.250
books are beautiful objects, beautiful dogs, if you will.
440
00:20:57.789 --> 00:21:02.559
And they... He's happy with that, isn't he, Adam?
441
00:21:02.599 --> 00:21:04.680
He's flicking through his book just for that.
442
00:21:04.980 --> 00:21:07.789
Bathing in the glory of it. I'm less happy with
443
00:21:07.809 --> 00:21:09.430
it now that it's been pointed out. If I just
444
00:21:09.730 --> 00:21:11.440
kept that in but hadn't made a thing of it.
445
00:21:11.450 --> 00:21:13.650
Look at him, Adam. He's a confidence player.
446
00:21:13.829 --> 00:21:17.150
After the reading link, then the dog for the book object.
447
00:21:16.819 --> 00:21:19.380
Stuff, he's flying. I could be on this morning, Rob.
448
00:21:19.400 --> 00:21:24.200
Give me a fucking chance. LAUGHTER You'd have to arm
449
00:21:24.220 --> 00:21:27.920
wrestle Rylan for it. Yeah, I would. And I would lose.
450
00:21:28.240 --> 00:21:30.839
You would lose to Rylan. He's a massive bloke, Rylan. Yeah.
451
00:21:31.420 --> 00:21:34.819
I love Rylan. He's so big. He's intimidatingly big, isn't he?
452
00:21:34.829 --> 00:21:38.410
But then he's so camp and friendly. He's lovely, isn't he? Yeah.
453
00:21:38.450 --> 00:21:40.230
He could be a gangland enforcer if he wanted to
454
00:21:40.269 --> 00:21:41.369
go a different route.
455
00:21:41.690 --> 00:21:45.529
Yeah. It's important to keep your options open, isn't it?
456
00:21:46.049 --> 00:21:48.930
It is. I've had a weird career trajectory. No reason
457
00:21:48.980 --> 00:21:52.299
to go into the world of the mafioso. Exactly.
458
00:21:52.839 --> 00:21:55.539
No one was expecting you to make a book about
459
00:21:55.660 --> 00:21:58.359
incredible adventures for children when you were a doctor, were they?
460
00:21:58.559 --> 00:22:05.089
Talk us through how you've got here in one sentence. Doctor,
461
00:22:05.410 --> 00:22:09.029
bad day at work, comedian, not very good at that, writer.
462
00:22:09.890 --> 00:22:12.730
There we go. Here we are. What made you want
463
00:22:12.750 --> 00:22:14.509
to be a doctor in the first place, though? What
464
00:22:14.549 --> 00:22:19.210
was it? Being strong-armed by my parents. Right, that pressure
465
00:22:19.230 --> 00:22:20.650
from the parents. And being sent to a school that
466
00:22:20.750 --> 00:22:24.099
churned out, you know, doctors, lawyers, architects. It was all
467
00:22:24.119 --> 00:22:27.559
sort of predetermined for me. And I wasn't really... I
468
00:22:27.859 --> 00:22:34.309
wasn't part of the committee who chose. And turns out... But,
469
00:22:34.329 --> 00:22:37.539
you know, parents, as I now realise, want the best
470
00:22:37.660 --> 00:22:40.500
for their children. Of course, yeah. And I was from
471
00:22:40.559 --> 00:22:42.880
a family where there were lots of doctors there, and
472
00:22:43.400 --> 00:22:46.970
the best for a child for them meant, you know,
473
00:22:46.990 --> 00:22:49.730
a sensible job. Yeah, yeah, of course.
474
00:22:49.750 --> 00:22:53.150
But ironically, you going against the grain of what your
475
00:22:53.190 --> 00:22:55.190
family wanted, you've probably had more of an impact as
476
00:22:55.210 --> 00:22:59.630
a doctor... and talking about medicine and that world through
477
00:22:59.650 --> 00:23:02.640
what you've done now, not actually practising it, wouldn't you say?
478
00:23:02.680 --> 00:23:05.160
Unless you tell me you're like, your granddad was like
479
00:23:05.200 --> 00:23:06.099
Charles Darwin or something.
480
00:23:06.589 --> 00:23:09.200
Was he a doctor? Was he a doctor?
481
00:23:09.819 --> 00:23:12.720
Did evolutionist sort of medicine here?
482
00:23:13.460 --> 00:23:16.940
I mean, I've got enormous guilt about leaving medicine. And
483
00:23:17.079 --> 00:23:22.569
so the guilt I have involves me sort of trying
484
00:23:22.619 --> 00:23:25.329
to be useful as a member of society. Obviously the
485
00:23:25.430 --> 00:23:27.750
arts have the most enormous value, but the bit of
486
00:23:27.789 --> 00:23:31.089
me that, you know, that, that, helped people on labor
487
00:23:31.130 --> 00:23:34.490
wards for however many years is still wants me to help.
488
00:23:34.670 --> 00:23:37.329
And so I'm sort of, I work quite a lot, uh,
489
00:23:37.450 --> 00:23:40.779
with respect to the mental health of the doctors and
490
00:23:40.839 --> 00:23:43.880
the various healthcare professions. So I'm sort of, I'm trying to,
491
00:23:44.059 --> 00:23:46.920
you know, use the platform I've now got to help
492
00:23:46.980 --> 00:23:50.980
my former colleagues, you know, mostly because I feel terrible about,
493
00:23:51.069 --> 00:23:55.470
about walking away from it. But then I started writing the, uh,
494
00:23:55.490 --> 00:23:58.390
my first kids book, the case anatomy one, um, was
495
00:23:58.829 --> 00:24:04.059
with a view to making kids really interested in their
496
00:24:04.440 --> 00:24:08.700
bodies and teaching them all the science they need to
497
00:24:08.740 --> 00:24:11.109
know for their biology and blah, blah, blah. But also
498
00:24:11.130 --> 00:24:15.730
the important stuff... um the you know the chats about
499
00:24:16.210 --> 00:24:20.509
you know smoking and sex and uh body image and
500
00:24:20.730 --> 00:24:26.390
neurodiversity and the unconditions that they might have asthma diabetes
501
00:24:26.410 --> 00:24:29.789
and stuff their friends might have and so Sort of
502
00:24:30.029 --> 00:24:32.730
getting the stuff, subcontracting a lot of the stuff that
503
00:24:32.849 --> 00:24:37.710
parents don't want to talk about through writing in a
504
00:24:37.779 --> 00:24:41.839
sort of chummy, silly, disgusting way. And then that book
505
00:24:41.980 --> 00:24:44.900
went well. And then we had another one that me
506
00:24:44.940 --> 00:24:49.359
and Henry wrote called... Kay's Marvelous Medicine, about the history
507
00:24:49.400 --> 00:24:51.730
of medicine and all the various diseases over the ages.
508
00:24:52.269 --> 00:24:56.490
And it's just been so hugely rewarding because kids, as
509
00:24:56.509 --> 00:25:00.569
you're very well aware, are an honest audience. Adults aren't honest. Kids,
510
00:25:00.809 --> 00:25:03.829
if they say we like it, we really know they
511
00:25:04.589 --> 00:25:09.539
liked it. But the most amazing thing was having messages
512
00:25:09.650 --> 00:25:16.420
from parents saying that... this book got my kid reading
513
00:25:16.559 --> 00:25:21.660
when they weren't reading before. It's an unusual sort of writing,
514
00:25:21.759 --> 00:25:25.720
I guess, in that it's hopefully funny, silly, gross, but
515
00:25:25.859 --> 00:25:30.380
it's nonfiction rather than fiction. So kids who think they've
516
00:25:30.400 --> 00:25:33.990
read enough books you know, books about the dog who
517
00:25:34.009 --> 00:25:37.309
flies to the moon or whatever. Um, this is, uh, it's,
518
00:25:37.369 --> 00:25:39.349
it's a different thing. Wait a minute. Is that, is
519
00:25:39.369 --> 00:25:42.089
that an idea that you're throwing around a dog? I
520
00:25:42.109 --> 00:25:44.069
was hoping you'd say that sounds great. And then I
521
00:25:44.089 --> 00:25:47.359
could crack on with crack on with that and give,
522
00:25:47.460 --> 00:25:51.259
you know, a run for his money. And, uh, whose
523
00:25:51.299 --> 00:25:55.720
books are actually brilliant, obviously. Um, but, um, And particularly
524
00:25:55.779 --> 00:26:01.150
I had messages from parents of neurodiverse kids saying that
525
00:26:01.329 --> 00:26:05.049
there's something in the way that we write that has,
526
00:26:05.130 --> 00:26:06.930
you know, you know, they're saying, you know, their kids
527
00:26:06.970 --> 00:26:10.069
have read, you know, Kay's Anatomy 12 times and they,
528
00:26:10.109 --> 00:26:12.970
you know, and their teachers are bamboozled by how they
529
00:26:13.009 --> 00:26:15.779
know so much science. And so what I thought was
530
00:26:15.819 --> 00:26:19.400
just going to be like, One book has started to
531
00:26:19.440 --> 00:26:24.619
become a series. And do you go into schools? What's
532
00:26:24.640 --> 00:26:29.460
that like? I do, yeah. We just did a gig
533
00:26:29.519 --> 00:26:36.200
in Stockport at the Plaza to the thick end of 1,000 kids. Wow. Oh, wow.
534
00:26:36.299 --> 00:26:39.059
What was that like? It's different.
535
00:26:39.079 --> 00:26:40.599
The organs are pain in the arse, aren't they, at
536
00:26:40.619 --> 00:26:43.690
the front? That massive organ that comes up that they love.
537
00:26:43.710 --> 00:26:45.829
You're like, yeah, but there's a fucking massive organ between
538
00:26:45.869 --> 00:26:49.230
me and the audience, actually. As pretty as it looks,
539
00:26:49.630 --> 00:26:50.650
there's an organ in the way.
540
00:26:50.789 --> 00:26:52.910
There is an organ in the way. We were in
541
00:26:53.029 --> 00:26:56.869
front of the organ. Balanced on a thin edge. Yes,
542
00:26:56.970 --> 00:26:57.750
that's your option.
543
00:26:57.769 --> 00:27:01.650
You either perform on a tightrope or behind an organ.
544
00:27:01.849 --> 00:27:06.799
But it's a beautiful organ. It's an amazing theatre. But
545
00:27:08.220 --> 00:27:10.960
like a dozen or so schools had sort of sent
546
00:27:10.980 --> 00:27:16.250
their kids in. And it's just really fun. And we
547
00:27:16.289 --> 00:27:19.470
keep it silly because, I mean, I guess my books
548
00:27:19.529 --> 00:27:23.329
are a slight confidence trick. Even the adult ones are.
549
00:27:23.470 --> 00:27:25.849
You know, like This Is Going to Hurt pretends it's
550
00:27:25.910 --> 00:27:29.589
just a funny, silly, you know, gross-out book. But actually
551
00:27:29.609 --> 00:27:32.359
it's hopefully making some points about, you know, the NHS
552
00:27:32.390 --> 00:27:36.390
and how healthcare– staff are treated but the kids books
553
00:27:36.809 --> 00:27:39.829
say you know this is this is just disgusting stuff
554
00:27:40.170 --> 00:27:42.750
but we can hopefully get some facts in there as
555
00:27:42.809 --> 00:27:45.240
well when we do it live we major on the
556
00:27:45.460 --> 00:27:49.019
on the student is that constant chatter no they sort
557
00:27:49.099 --> 00:27:53.740
of it depends on your performance obviously but i can't
558
00:27:53.819 --> 00:27:54.759
imagine i've.
559
00:27:54.500 --> 00:27:59.740
Got the ability to hold 20 children listening to me
560
00:27:59.809 --> 00:28:01.730
let alone a thousand.
561
00:28:01.609 --> 00:28:05.470
So it partly depends on, I think, how terrified they
562
00:28:05.509 --> 00:28:08.549
are of the teacher who's come with them to the theatre.
563
00:28:08.829 --> 00:28:10.430
That makes a big difference. And you can see different
564
00:28:10.490 --> 00:28:14.170
pockets of these big theatres. Of course, depending on the school. Yes.
565
00:28:14.720 --> 00:28:18.140
And there are clearly some teachers that are like, we're
566
00:28:18.480 --> 00:28:22.259
absolutely not fucking with her. And there are clearly some
567
00:28:22.299 --> 00:28:25.559
more soft-touch teachers who they say, when they say, girls, please,
568
00:28:26.099 --> 00:28:29.359
it makes absolutely no difference. But the secret weapon for
569
00:28:29.400 --> 00:28:34.609
these shows is... is Henry does live illustrations. Oh, he's amazing, Henry,
570
00:28:34.650 --> 00:28:37.250
as well. That is absolutely amazing. So he draws on
571
00:28:37.269 --> 00:28:40.329
this visualiser thing and it projects it right onto the back.
572
00:28:40.750 --> 00:28:45.650
And he might as well be levitating by the sort
573
00:28:45.670 --> 00:28:50.269
of amazement of the children. Any time I worry I'm
574
00:28:50.390 --> 00:28:55.289
slightly losing it with my hopefully interesting facts about toilets,
575
00:28:55.509 --> 00:28:58.839
we cut straight to Henry and he draws something like... Oh, wow.
576
00:28:59.140 --> 00:29:02.079
Or even better, take suggestions about what you want him
577
00:29:02.119 --> 00:29:04.299
to draw and he can draw it. I still find
578
00:29:04.339 --> 00:29:07.650
that incredible that you can just say, you know, draw
579
00:29:07.670 --> 00:29:12.059
a toaster being attacked by a zombie poo or whatever
580
00:29:12.259 --> 00:29:15.680
and he draws it. and it's like how do you how.
581
00:29:15.599 --> 00:29:17.859
Quick is he at it then because the book's amazingly
582
00:29:17.900 --> 00:29:20.819
illustrated it's beautiful and whether it takes him an hour
583
00:29:20.839 --> 00:29:22.759
to reach one or five minutes it doesn't matter because
584
00:29:22.779 --> 00:29:25.180
the end product is incredible but i feel like he's
585
00:29:25.200 --> 00:29:27.240
just super talented he knocks them out in about two
586
00:29:27.299 --> 00:29:29.029
seconds but he doesn't want everyone to know so he
587
00:29:29.480 --> 00:29:32.220
you know you can sort of pretend but i feel
588
00:29:32.220 --> 00:29:35.980
like he's so talented at illustrating.
589
00:29:37.440 --> 00:29:39.980
There's so many illustrations in the book. It's hundreds and
590
00:29:40.000 --> 00:29:44.430
hundreds and hundreds of illustrations. Live, he does them very,
591
00:29:44.569 --> 00:29:47.710
very fast. It's amazing to watch.
592
00:29:47.809 --> 00:29:49.710
And how did you know him on the circuit? Or
593
00:29:49.730 --> 00:29:51.349
did you meet him further down the line when you
594
00:29:51.369 --> 00:29:52.299
were putting your books together?
595
00:29:52.849 --> 00:29:59.430
So this is the weirdest, weirdest story. So I'd just
596
00:29:59.769 --> 00:30:05.279
been into Puffin, the publishers, and we talked about me
597
00:30:05.299 --> 00:30:07.259
doing this book. And they said, yes, let's do it.
598
00:30:07.740 --> 00:30:10.059
And they said, the first thing you need to do
599
00:30:10.259 --> 00:30:13.799
is think about an illustrator. because it's you know that's
600
00:30:13.819 --> 00:30:15.200
a big part of it i wanted it to be
601
00:30:15.279 --> 00:30:18.140
really i loved i've always felt short-changed when i was
602
00:30:18.180 --> 00:30:19.380
a kid and i read a book and you went
603
00:30:19.529 --> 00:30:21.549
you open the page there was no picture there like
604
00:30:21.569 --> 00:30:24.650
come on come on blake put the hours and.
605
00:30:24.690 --> 00:30:27.190
Even now i like the photos in a biography give
606
00:30:27.210 --> 00:30:32.210
me a bit exactly give me two photo sections please
607
00:30:32.349 --> 00:30:33.309
give me something.
608
00:30:33.049 --> 00:30:34.950
To flip through when i've been given it as a
609
00:30:34.990 --> 00:30:41.609
gift the only I went round the huge Waterstones, the
610
00:30:41.650 --> 00:30:46.289
lovely Waterstones in Piccadilly. We bought like 30 books of
611
00:30:46.410 --> 00:30:49.349
all different illustrated books. And we went and sat in
612
00:30:49.390 --> 00:30:52.210
a cafe and we were reading through them. And none
613
00:30:52.250 --> 00:30:56.150
of them had like the added comedy that I was
614
00:30:56.170 --> 00:30:58.529
sort of hoping it would have. it would have. And
615
00:30:58.569 --> 00:31:01.150
so we sort of, no, we're right. And so we're
616
00:31:01.190 --> 00:31:06.779
a bit miserable. And then it was Mike Wozniak's 40th
617
00:31:07.299 --> 00:31:11.920
that evening. Mike, amazing comedian who people know from Taskmaster
618
00:31:11.960 --> 00:31:14.099
and blah, blah, blah. And who I've known since I
619
00:31:14.140 --> 00:31:16.559
was 18 because we were at neighbouring medical schools together.
620
00:31:16.579 --> 00:31:18.589
We were in fact at some point in a terrible
621
00:31:18.640 --> 00:31:21.490
comedy troupe together. Anyway, he won't want me mentioning that.
622
00:31:21.750 --> 00:31:27.099
But So we were there and got talking to Henry,
623
00:31:27.119 --> 00:31:30.839
who I'd sort of met over the years, bits and bobs,
624
00:31:31.059 --> 00:31:32.220
and he was just saying, what are you up to
625
00:31:32.240 --> 00:31:38.089
today and why are you holding nine Waterstones bags? LAUGHTER Oh,
626
00:31:38.099 --> 00:31:41.450
it was the exact same day then? Yes, so that evening.
627
00:31:42.049 --> 00:31:43.990
And I was just upset about this thing. He said, well,
628
00:31:44.009 --> 00:31:46.289
you know I illustrate, which I didn't. I was like,
629
00:31:46.329 --> 00:31:50.390
do you want to... I bet your heart sank. Absolutely.
630
00:31:50.509 --> 00:31:55.240
It's like when someone says, oh, I'm writing a book. Oh,
631
00:31:55.299 --> 00:31:58.259
can I send you the script that I'm working on? No. Actually,
632
00:31:58.279 --> 00:32:02.059
script's better than book. Because, oh, that's going to be 300.
633
00:32:02.059 --> 00:32:04.339
Script you can sort of, you can thumb through in
634
00:32:04.380 --> 00:32:07.509
a half an hour. Book, oh my God. Anyway... So
635
00:32:07.569 --> 00:32:10.009
Hart obviously sang. And then he sent me the next
636
00:32:10.049 --> 00:32:13.420
day some amazing... God, he's fucking keen, isn't he? Yeah.
637
00:32:14.269 --> 00:32:17.990
And then that was, it was literally that. I said
638
00:32:18.009 --> 00:32:21.660
to the publisher, found the perfect person. And they were like,
639
00:32:22.019 --> 00:32:28.599
are you sure? Some bloke from a party. And then
640
00:32:29.099 --> 00:32:32.460
they said, in fact, they made him do some sort
641
00:32:32.539 --> 00:32:36.559
of Squid Games style challenge, I think, where they put
642
00:32:36.579 --> 00:32:39.819
him in a room and said, draw some lungs doing
643
00:32:39.859 --> 00:32:42.160
something funny or something. And then they were like, oh yeah,
644
00:32:42.180 --> 00:32:46.990
you're amazing. Oh, wow. But he's so, so good. And
645
00:32:47.529 --> 00:32:50.990
we write it together. I think there's some books where
646
00:32:51.390 --> 00:32:55.819
it's quite clear that the two have never met each other. Yeah.
647
00:32:56.220 --> 00:32:59.319
But it's quite collaborative and he'll be like, you know,
648
00:32:59.380 --> 00:33:01.730
is there a bit where you can, you know, change
649
00:33:01.769 --> 00:33:03.910
it so there's a space for this illustration and I'll
650
00:33:03.990 --> 00:33:06.250
say you know blah blah blah change this and so
651
00:33:06.430 --> 00:33:10.309
it's a long old process it's a good half year
652
00:33:10.349 --> 00:33:12.789
or so of sort of going from the first scribbles
653
00:33:12.829 --> 00:33:14.210
to the final drawings.
654
00:33:14.230 --> 00:33:15.910
So if you have an idea for it and you
655
00:33:15.930 --> 00:33:17.119
go yeah that'd be good and he goes yeah that'd
656
00:33:17.130 --> 00:33:18.299
be good and you go right so what we can
657
00:33:18.319 --> 00:33:20.660
have is some lungs that have got a zombie toaster
658
00:33:20.700 --> 00:33:22.359
on it and all like that and you both go
659
00:33:22.400 --> 00:33:24.759
yep brilliant do you sort of go oh I'll just
660
00:33:24.819 --> 00:33:26.240
go and probably get a coffee for an hour then
661
00:33:26.400 --> 00:33:27.920
let you crack on because it's.
662
00:33:27.839 --> 00:33:32.890
Sort of you just watch him draw it So there
663
00:33:32.950 --> 00:33:39.309
are quite long gaps after deciding the next 200 illustrations
664
00:33:39.529 --> 00:33:45.130
to them having them finally delivered. I had to write
665
00:33:45.170 --> 00:33:47.839
all the words. Of course. I've had to do 80,000 words.
666
00:33:48.450 --> 00:33:51.599
The math speaks for itself. I've got a much tougher job. Yeah,
667
00:33:51.660 --> 00:33:51.940
of course.
668
00:33:51.960 --> 00:33:53.920
But it's just you get to do yours first. So
669
00:33:53.960 --> 00:33:56.039
then it feels like you're having a break afterwards, right?
670
00:33:56.180 --> 00:33:57.359
Or is it kind of in sync?
671
00:33:58.289 --> 00:34:00.640
It's a bit instinct so he gets a super early
672
00:34:00.920 --> 00:34:03.319
draft so he can he can feed into it but
673
00:34:03.660 --> 00:34:06.220
no he's and also he's just a very lovely man.
674
00:34:06.059 --> 00:34:07.750
So once that was a doctor Harry Hill was a
675
00:34:07.769 --> 00:34:09.130
doctor and you was a doctor do you all meet
676
00:34:09.250 --> 00:34:12.389
up as the ex-doctor comedians as a little gang of you.
677
00:34:13.289 --> 00:34:15.610
I mean, yeah, there's a lot of... Chekhov was a doctor.
678
00:34:16.309 --> 00:34:21.519
He always comes. Graham Chapman. Oh, yeah. Paul Sinner. Paul Sinner.
679
00:34:21.699 --> 00:34:25.679
Paul Sinner. Yeah, who went to the same school as me,
680
00:34:25.679 --> 00:34:27.239
10 years above me. So was that... Did you go
681
00:34:27.260 --> 00:34:28.639
to Dulwich College? Yeah.
682
00:34:28.800 --> 00:34:31.079
Because I'm from South London, so I've gone past it,
683
00:34:31.099 --> 00:34:33.980
and it's one of the most impressive buildings and schools
684
00:34:34.039 --> 00:34:36.840
and stuff. And like you say, proper high-pressured sort of...
685
00:34:36.800 --> 00:34:38.780
Was you bored in there, or were you.
686
00:34:39.139 --> 00:34:43.260
Oh, yeah, there was no more beautiful environment. to be
687
00:34:43.659 --> 00:34:48.369
humiliated and emotionally destroyed by the teaching staff over the
688
00:34:48.389 --> 00:34:51.190
course of a decade. It's absolutely stunning place for it
689
00:34:51.210 --> 00:34:54.289
to happen. It's so intimidating, even driving past it. You
690
00:34:54.309 --> 00:34:57.889
would have listened in Stockport Plaza. That's the thing. I
691
00:34:57.929 --> 00:35:01.400
really would have done. Was you boarding there then? No, no, no.
692
00:35:02.360 --> 00:35:05.760
We lived around there and so we just sort of
693
00:35:05.800 --> 00:35:11.289
toddled up. But it was built by... It's basically the
694
00:35:11.329 --> 00:35:13.869
same design as the Houses of Parliament, but on a
695
00:35:13.989 --> 00:35:17.329
smaller scale. And also it's on the South Circular.
696
00:35:17.670 --> 00:35:20.289
So it looks more impressive because it's like block of flats,
697
00:35:20.570 --> 00:35:23.130
some normal houses, and then Parliament.
698
00:35:23.269 --> 00:35:26.030
It's like the estate agents would gloss over that if
699
00:35:26.050 --> 00:35:30.230
they were trying to sell you this school. Palatial grade
700
00:35:30.489 --> 00:35:34.190
one listed mini Houses of Parliament. A bit of road noise,
701
00:35:34.389 --> 00:35:37.280
but I mean, other than that, don't worry about it. Yeah.
702
00:35:38.070 --> 00:35:42.449
And does that experience make you think twice about, well,
703
00:35:42.489 --> 00:35:45.070
I think twice, but like you've got kids that obviously
704
00:35:45.090 --> 00:35:47.369
you're going to, are going to go to school. Is
705
00:35:47.429 --> 00:35:50.550
it difficult to take your experience of school out of
706
00:35:50.610 --> 00:35:51.329
that in a way?
707
00:35:52.070 --> 00:35:56.070
It's, I mean, I do not understand single sex education
708
00:35:56.750 --> 00:35:59.610
and there is no way in a million years that
709
00:35:59.659 --> 00:36:04.429
my My kids would be educated. I just don't understand. Basically,
710
00:36:04.949 --> 00:36:07.780
I was, you know, I didn't meet a girl who
711
00:36:07.820 --> 00:36:11.360
wasn't a first degree relative until like a fifth of
712
00:36:11.400 --> 00:36:14.219
the way through my life expectancy when I went to university.
713
00:36:14.579 --> 00:36:17.960
That is bananas. How is that? How is that right?
714
00:36:18.000 --> 00:36:21.420
I don't understand the argument. I don't understand the anything
715
00:36:21.500 --> 00:36:26.010
about it. So, I mean, that's, you know, that's for certain.
716
00:36:26.199 --> 00:36:28.829
And I'm sure the schools are different than they have
717
00:36:28.889 --> 00:36:34.710
to be. To when it was then. And in fact,
718
00:36:35.630 --> 00:36:41.260
I was invited back to speak at my old school.
719
00:36:41.340 --> 00:36:44.420
I mean, here's the weird thing. You get invited to
720
00:36:44.460 --> 00:36:49.739
speak at schools a lot, but the bulshiest schools who
721
00:36:49.880 --> 00:36:53.769
ask the most are the private schools. Right. And so,
722
00:36:53.789 --> 00:36:56.530
you know, and they've got, they boast about this great
723
00:36:56.590 --> 00:36:59.449
program of speakers. Oh, and we had Shakespeare here the
724
00:36:59.489 --> 00:37:02.400
other day and then Dickens. And so they've got all,
725
00:37:02.869 --> 00:37:07.670
and also they've, they boast about the amazing facilities they've got.
726
00:37:07.690 --> 00:37:10.929
And we've got this 400 seat of theater, which is blah, blah, blah.
727
00:37:11.429 --> 00:37:15.440
And so what we do now is we say, yeah,
728
00:37:16.039 --> 00:37:18.159
we would love to come and speak to your school.
729
00:37:18.380 --> 00:37:20.860
If you invite all the local, local state schools. And
730
00:37:20.940 --> 00:37:24.400
it's interesting that, I mean, most of them, in fairness,
731
00:37:24.440 --> 00:37:27.920
do say yes. And then that's a great event because,
732
00:37:27.960 --> 00:37:30.179
you know, all these kids from all over the area
733
00:37:30.199 --> 00:37:32.219
can be in a bigger room than they would have
734
00:37:32.239 --> 00:37:34.789
at their school with sort of all the facilities and
735
00:37:35.010 --> 00:37:37.969
live drawing. But some are a bit like, yeah, I'm
736
00:37:38.010 --> 00:37:41.949
not sure that's going to work. So that's a bit... Oh, really? Yeah,
737
00:37:42.030 --> 00:37:42.610
that's quite interesting.
738
00:37:42.630 --> 00:37:44.269
In a way, you'd think it'd be a great advert,
739
00:37:44.289 --> 00:37:46.420
because if you've got any parents locally on the fence
740
00:37:46.440 --> 00:37:47.860
that might want to go to private school, then they
741
00:37:47.900 --> 00:37:49.719
get to have a little day in there and look about.
742
00:37:49.739 --> 00:37:52.260
It's like an open day, but yeah. You'd think so,
743
00:37:52.300 --> 00:37:54.090
but I mean... Oh, that's a lovely thing to do, though,
744
00:37:54.110 --> 00:37:56.010
because then it opens it up to everyone. No, of course.
745
00:37:56.070 --> 00:37:58.570
It's the only way to do it, because I'm writing
746
00:37:58.610 --> 00:38:02.820
for as many people as possible to... to read and
747
00:38:02.840 --> 00:38:06.400
that and i'm i really advocate for libraries because they're
748
00:38:06.440 --> 00:38:09.860
so important libraries so important growing up sorry to cut
749
00:38:09.900 --> 00:38:11.880
quickly but growing up in my house got four brothers
750
00:38:11.920 --> 00:38:14.800
we had a little sort of terraced house three-bed house
751
00:38:14.860 --> 00:38:17.179
it was busy there was nowhere to sit because if
752
00:38:17.219 --> 00:38:19.449
someone was eating dinner i couldn't do me work at
753
00:38:19.469 --> 00:38:21.989
the dinner table and there sometimes weren't a space for
754
00:38:22.010 --> 00:38:23.530
a desk in our bedroom so i used to go
755
00:38:23.570 --> 00:38:25.750
down the library and i get all my homework done
756
00:38:25.789 --> 00:38:28.630
and there was and there was quiet and space but
757
00:38:28.670 --> 00:38:30.230
now they're never open so So like.
758
00:38:30.110 --> 00:38:32.570
If these people in smaller houses and flats and haven't
759
00:38:32.590 --> 00:38:34.070
got a desk to do their work on, they're doing
760
00:38:34.090 --> 00:38:34.389
it on the.
761
00:38:34.349 --> 00:38:35.969
Lap or on the bus. They've been cut, cut, cut, cut, cut.
762
00:38:35.989 --> 00:38:39.559
And it's heartbreaking. And even libraries within school, a quarter
763
00:38:39.639 --> 00:38:42.219
of schools in the most deprived areas of the country,
764
00:38:42.400 --> 00:38:45.360
primary schools don't have a library anymore. It's mad, isn't it?
765
00:38:45.380 --> 00:38:48.119
It's mad, isn't it? And reading is the, this is
766
00:38:48.139 --> 00:38:49.820
the fact I, we did a, me and Henry did
767
00:38:49.840 --> 00:38:54.539
a book for world book day, um, the year just gone. And, um,
768
00:38:55.230 --> 00:38:57.369
The thing that sold it to me, the idea that
769
00:38:57.389 --> 00:39:02.119
we had to write this book, was the fact that
770
00:39:02.960 --> 00:39:07.960
nearly a quarter of kids, the only books that they
771
00:39:08.099 --> 00:39:10.820
own themselves are the free books they got for World
772
00:39:10.860 --> 00:39:16.559
Book Day. So I grew up in a privileged environment
773
00:39:16.579 --> 00:39:17.929
in all sorts of ways. But one of the ways
774
00:39:17.969 --> 00:39:22.050
it was most privileged was the access to books and reading.
775
00:39:22.590 --> 00:39:29.980
And my dad said, I'll never forget this, we were
776
00:39:30.000 --> 00:39:33.719
in the Glade Shopping Centre in Bromley. In Bromley, big up.
777
00:39:33.739 --> 00:39:36.059
Was you living in Bromley then? Where did you live, brother? Yeah, no,
778
00:39:36.079 --> 00:39:39.300
we sort of... Beckingham, Darlington. We ended up in... Shortland,
779
00:39:39.360 --> 00:39:41.719
so in the sort of Bromley sort of hinterland.
780
00:39:41.780 --> 00:39:43.389
I didn't know he was a BR brother as well.
781
00:39:43.530 --> 00:39:44.590
Look at this.
782
00:39:44.989 --> 00:39:46.769
Don't want to brag, but I turned on the Christmas
783
00:39:46.829 --> 00:39:51.349
lights in Bromley the other day. How was it? If
784
00:39:51.389 --> 00:39:53.030
this had gone out before, I think they probably would
785
00:39:53.050 --> 00:39:56.409
have booked you if they knew that you were Bromley
786
00:39:56.449 --> 00:39:56.750
as well.
787
00:39:56.769 --> 00:39:57.550
Next year, next year.
788
00:39:57.570 --> 00:40:01.230
You're talking my fucking language now, Adam. It's amazing that
789
00:40:01.250 --> 00:40:03.280
we grew up so close together, but we had very
790
00:40:03.340 --> 00:40:05.199
different educational experiences.
791
00:40:05.940 --> 00:40:12.349
Yeah, it's... So he's in the Glade, sorry. Like a sitcom. Yeah.
792
00:40:12.650 --> 00:40:15.570
Write this up, Rob. So, and I was, you know,
793
00:40:15.610 --> 00:40:17.429
gone past some toy shop and I'd said, can I
794
00:40:17.449 --> 00:40:19.199
have that? And my dad was like, of course not.
795
00:40:19.559 --> 00:40:22.659
And then we got to a bookshop and he said,
796
00:40:23.059 --> 00:40:26.389
any time you ever want a book, you can have it.
797
00:40:27.280 --> 00:40:30.260
And I thought I'd hacked the system. I was like,
798
00:40:30.320 --> 00:40:33.610
I found a type of free thing that I have,
799
00:40:33.679 --> 00:40:36.530
you know, he will always say yes to buying and
800
00:40:36.789 --> 00:40:38.670
he made good on it. And then every time we
801
00:40:38.690 --> 00:40:40.690
were by a bookshop, I'd say, I'd walk in and say,
802
00:40:40.710 --> 00:40:42.489
can I have that? And I was like, I don't
803
00:40:42.530 --> 00:40:45.250
know why this is working. It's still working. It's happened
804
00:40:45.250 --> 00:40:50.570
20 times. But I was reading for pleasure. Here's another,
805
00:40:50.650 --> 00:40:56.230
you know, educational statistic. Well, something that's almost unbelievable. reading
806
00:40:56.269 --> 00:40:59.090
for pleasure when a kid reads for pleasure that's the
807
00:40:59.179 --> 00:41:03.039
single biggest determinant of their success in later life more
808
00:41:03.079 --> 00:41:07.860
than their education more than their socio-economic background more than
809
00:41:07.900 --> 00:41:10.940
what their parents knew more than anything else it's whether
810
00:41:10.960 --> 00:41:15.630
they read for pleasure and that was fostered in me
811
00:41:15.829 --> 00:41:20.570
and I worry through cuts and through whatever's changing in
812
00:41:20.630 --> 00:41:25.860
society that we're losing that and so And that's why
813
00:41:25.880 --> 00:41:28.280
I spend so much of my time writing for kids
814
00:41:28.320 --> 00:41:30.400
in the hope that some of them will read for pleasure. Yeah,
815
00:41:30.440 --> 00:41:30.840
of course.
816
00:41:31.159 --> 00:41:32.699
Going back to the school, your kids will be in
817
00:41:32.719 --> 00:41:34.630
the same school year. Will they be in the same school?
818
00:41:34.670 --> 00:41:35.610
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
819
00:41:36.050 --> 00:41:36.429
Yeah.
820
00:41:36.989 --> 00:41:41.010
Because they're November and March. So that's the right side
821
00:41:41.050 --> 00:41:44.159
of September. So we're thrilled. So we've moved out to
822
00:41:44.199 --> 00:41:48.400
the countryside. Respect. Look, we're living double lives, Kay. Me too.
823
00:41:48.420 --> 00:41:54.159
Fuck the big smoke. No. We bailed, and there's a
824
00:41:54.260 --> 00:42:01.019
wonderful farm school, foresty nursery place just around the corner.
825
00:42:01.300 --> 00:42:04.090
And we went to look around. In fact, before the
826
00:42:04.110 --> 00:42:07.289
kids were born, James emailed. We thought we had heard
827
00:42:07.329 --> 00:42:10.329
about it in the village. And they said, you should
828
00:42:10.349 --> 00:42:13.489
check it with them. And James emailed saying... this is
829
00:42:13.530 --> 00:42:18.090
probably a bit crazy, but kids aren't even born yet.
830
00:42:18.190 --> 00:42:21.159
Is it worth putting their names down? And they replied, quick, quick, quick,
831
00:42:21.179 --> 00:42:24.519
we've only got two places left. So we hadn't realised. Oh, really?
832
00:42:24.559 --> 00:42:26.639
So it's still as competitive in the country as it
833
00:42:26.719 --> 00:42:27.460
is in the city.
834
00:42:27.480 --> 00:42:27.559
Yeah.
835
00:42:28.199 --> 00:42:32.059
Really, really is. But they don't accept the kids until
836
00:42:32.320 --> 00:42:35.130
they're potty trained. I don't know if that's a common thing.
837
00:42:35.489 --> 00:42:39.269
So it's a nursery school. Not the primary school. It's
838
00:42:39.329 --> 00:42:40.010
a nursery school.
839
00:42:40.030 --> 00:42:45.880
That's a nursery school. Yeah. And so it's like... how
840
00:42:45.960 --> 00:42:51.110
quickly can we make this happen? I can't. We need
841
00:42:51.119 --> 00:42:54.389
to somehow get them potty trained because then we have
842
00:42:54.769 --> 00:42:57.329
that blessed period of hours during the day where we could,
843
00:42:57.369 --> 00:42:59.800
for example, I don't know, have lunch. There we go.
844
00:43:00.500 --> 00:43:03.780
And it's also difficult because you're like, when do I
845
00:43:03.860 --> 00:43:06.940
consider them potty trained and when do the nursery consider
846
00:43:06.980 --> 00:43:07.639
them potty trained?
847
00:43:07.659 --> 00:43:10.760
Because I consider them potty trained now. Even though we
848
00:43:10.780 --> 00:43:12.880
don't own a potty and they wear nappies.
849
00:43:12.920 --> 00:43:15.300
That's what we call nappies, potties in our house. And
850
00:43:15.320 --> 00:43:17.579
they're trained to shit in there whenever they want. So
851
00:43:18.000 --> 00:43:20.480
off you go to your little forest school. Yeah, because
852
00:43:20.500 --> 00:43:22.360
that's a difficult one, isn't it?
853
00:43:22.619 --> 00:43:24.469
If you think they're potty trained and then they go
854
00:43:24.510 --> 00:43:26.670
there and they have an accident, are they then going
855
00:43:26.690 --> 00:43:30.469
to be re-bound from the nursery?
856
00:43:30.630 --> 00:43:32.409
Is there like a sort of lockout period, like a
857
00:43:32.489 --> 00:43:37.079
sin bin time? Yeah. What happens? We need to investigate this.
858
00:43:37.119 --> 00:43:38.639
So you're planning to sort of send them to nursery
859
00:43:38.659 --> 00:43:41.219
and school together because there was twins at my school
860
00:43:41.239 --> 00:43:42.880
where they sent one to one school, one to the
861
00:43:42.940 --> 00:43:44.699
other to let them have a bit of independence?
862
00:43:44.719 --> 00:43:44.920
Yeah.
863
00:43:45.400 --> 00:43:47.340
And have different friendship groups rather than being all in
864
00:43:47.380 --> 00:43:49.449
one place. But that seems a bit unnecessary.
865
00:43:49.639 --> 00:43:54.469
I think I want them to be pals, obviously. And
866
00:43:54.550 --> 00:43:56.050
so I want them to stay in the same room
867
00:43:56.110 --> 00:44:00.349
for as long as they can. But I've got them
868
00:44:00.389 --> 00:44:02.489
sleeping in the same room at the moment, which I don't...
869
00:44:03.349 --> 00:44:07.429
Because they wake each other up like car alarms. As
870
00:44:07.469 --> 00:44:09.670
soon as one goes off, the other goes off. I'd
871
00:44:09.690 --> 00:44:10.199
fuck that off.
872
00:44:11.469 --> 00:44:13.639
I'd fight that off, I think, because they don't know
873
00:44:13.679 --> 00:44:15.760
they're sleeping in the same room. You can bring them together,
874
00:44:16.199 --> 00:44:19.900
and then maybe it'll be an exciting thing when they're
875
00:44:20.019 --> 00:44:21.000
two and a half.
876
00:44:21.039 --> 00:44:22.260
Yeah, that's where it's at forever.
877
00:44:22.280 --> 00:44:24.079
Do you want to sleep in the same room? And
878
00:44:24.099 --> 00:44:28.219
they're like, oh my God, we've been given this opportunity. Yeah,
879
00:44:28.519 --> 00:44:33.530
maybe that's... I don't know. I've never, I've never. You're
880
00:44:33.550 --> 00:44:36.340
the twins expert, Josh.
881
00:44:36.440 --> 00:44:38.179
My kids are two years apart and they've always sort
882
00:44:38.199 --> 00:44:40.480
of been in their own separate rooms and stuff. But
883
00:44:40.699 --> 00:44:42.940
at weekends, they always ask if they can sleep together.
884
00:44:42.960 --> 00:44:47.099
We found them like that the other night. It's a
885
00:44:47.159 --> 00:44:48.130
special treat.
886
00:44:47.889 --> 00:44:50.670
For them now. And in matching outfits. Yeah, that's the
887
00:44:50.690 --> 00:44:54.519
best thing. Nothing is cuter than matching outfits, is it?
888
00:44:54.550 --> 00:44:54.789
I know.
889
00:44:55.250 --> 00:44:58.690
Are you doing that a lot because in a twin situation,
890
00:44:58.889 --> 00:45:00.449
are you dressing them as twins?
891
00:45:00.769 --> 00:45:04.469
We weren't until we realised how cute it looked. I
892
00:45:04.510 --> 00:45:12.219
think the gold standard is matching dungarees. Oh, yeah. That's like,
893
00:45:12.380 --> 00:45:15.039
you know, you can tell because like we do push
894
00:45:15.059 --> 00:45:17.820
them around this massive great fucking because we're in the countryside.
895
00:45:17.840 --> 00:45:21.460
So the buggy is like an Isuzu. It has to
896
00:45:21.480 --> 00:45:24.559
be able to get in and get across the terrain
897
00:45:24.800 --> 00:45:28.309
and there's two of them so it's massive yeah it's
898
00:45:28.389 --> 00:45:31.489
it's a little and anyway so people are always i
899
00:45:31.530 --> 00:45:33.909
can tell how well we've dressed them but how often
900
00:45:33.949 --> 00:45:36.860
someone goes oh look at that you know sometimes they'll
901
00:45:36.900 --> 00:45:39.760
just glance in the bucket just could keep walking and
902
00:45:39.800 --> 00:45:42.000
sometimes people go oh look at them but i think
903
00:45:42.280 --> 00:45:44.539
matching dungarees 100 yeah.
904
00:45:44.139 --> 00:45:46.820
Yeah i said And do you think you're done with
905
00:45:46.889 --> 00:45:48.550
two or would you like more?
906
00:45:48.849 --> 00:45:49.429
What's your thing?
907
00:45:49.449 --> 00:45:51.690
Because it's quite close together. Did you sort of want
908
00:45:51.710 --> 00:45:54.469
to sort of have them and get the young baby
909
00:45:54.510 --> 00:45:56.719
stage done and have two kids or?
910
00:45:57.000 --> 00:46:01.000
So the idea was that we would we would have
911
00:46:01.039 --> 00:46:04.260
them as close together as as possible through this through
912
00:46:04.300 --> 00:46:10.250
this process. surrogacy process it's known as a tandem journey
913
00:46:10.309 --> 00:46:15.389
apparently when you have obviously two separate surrogates but a
914
00:46:15.449 --> 00:46:20.309
couple of things happen IVF obviously involves IVF and IVF
915
00:46:20.349 --> 00:46:27.110
doesn't happen first time necessarily and it did for one
916
00:46:27.150 --> 00:46:31.760
and not for the other and then uh and then
917
00:46:31.800 --> 00:46:35.019
ruby was was premature by a month and a half
918
00:46:35.079 --> 00:46:37.699
or so and so that those things sort of stretched
919
00:46:37.739 --> 00:46:41.380
them uh i was very weird going through the ivf
920
00:46:41.960 --> 00:46:45.639
process as someone with a little bit of knowledge because
921
00:46:45.719 --> 00:46:49.500
i'd worked in that i'd worked in that game before
922
00:46:49.559 --> 00:46:51.889
and there was a there i was as a as
923
00:46:51.949 --> 00:46:55.550
a patient, basically. I hate being a patient. Doctors make
924
00:46:55.570 --> 00:46:58.670
the worst patients because when you're a doctor, you sort
925
00:46:58.710 --> 00:47:01.230
of bloody get on with it. And like, you try
926
00:47:01.250 --> 00:47:05.110
and like, my dad was a doctor. Anything that happened
927
00:47:05.159 --> 00:47:07.489
to any of the four of us at home, we,
928
00:47:07.639 --> 00:47:09.639
he would just sort it out. Like I've got a,
929
00:47:09.639 --> 00:47:12.860
there's a scar on my forehead from when he did
930
00:47:12.900 --> 00:47:15.260
a sort of ham fisted repair of a head injury
931
00:47:15.900 --> 00:47:19.639
in my house. And, you know, I'm pretty sure if
932
00:47:19.699 --> 00:47:21.840
one of us had needed dialysis, he'd have had a
933
00:47:21.900 --> 00:47:24.000
bloody good go at it with what he'd find in
934
00:47:24.019 --> 00:47:29.840
the shed. And also, there's now this weird thing, which
935
00:47:29.909 --> 00:47:34.409
presumably you definitely have, because... You know, you're on telly.
936
00:47:34.449 --> 00:47:37.030
I avoid telly like the play. The only pictures of
937
00:47:37.070 --> 00:47:39.559
me are like sort of tiny 12 year old photos
938
00:47:39.599 --> 00:47:41.579
of me in the back of a book. But I
939
00:47:41.619 --> 00:47:46.650
get recognized, you know, once every few weeks. And I
940
00:47:46.989 --> 00:47:50.789
hate the idea of being recognized in a. in a surgery,
941
00:47:50.829 --> 00:47:52.889
in a waiting room or something. That would be the
942
00:47:52.909 --> 00:47:56.590
most mortifying version of, of all. Anyway, so, but we
943
00:47:56.630 --> 00:48:00.150
needed to do IVF. It wasn't happening naturally. So we
944
00:48:00.190 --> 00:48:03.070
needed to do, we needed to find another to have
945
00:48:03.110 --> 00:48:03.630
these children.
946
00:48:03.650 --> 00:48:05.389
We don't like having photos made, but we need to
947
00:48:05.429 --> 00:48:05.730
do this.
948
00:48:05.809 --> 00:48:06.010
Okay.
949
00:48:06.030 --> 00:48:09.030
You might have to have a photo with a doctor
950
00:48:09.190 --> 00:48:09.679
in talking IVF.
951
00:48:11.369 --> 00:48:16.309
So, and technology has improved a lot in the, in the,
952
00:48:16.670 --> 00:48:22.190
the protein pods. It was like magazines when I, you know,
953
00:48:22.210 --> 00:48:25.380
when I worked in, in fertility units and now we
954
00:48:25.400 --> 00:48:28.090
went into this, this, this place and there was a,
955
00:48:28.199 --> 00:48:30.119
and there was a, there was a, there was a
956
00:48:30.179 --> 00:48:34.380
TV screen and I was like, Hey, and I turned,
957
00:48:34.400 --> 00:48:37.380
I turned it on. Oh, you touched the remote.
958
00:48:38.079 --> 00:48:38.340
Wow.
959
00:48:38.960 --> 00:48:45.809
The old cum clicker. I had no phone reception. That's
960
00:48:45.829 --> 00:48:47.130
the problem in the countryside.
961
00:48:47.170 --> 00:48:52.650
If you've got a wank in a doctor's office, good.
962
00:48:50.949 --> 00:48:52.989
Luck getting 4G, mate. Get back in the memory bank.
963
00:48:53.010 --> 00:48:54.550
That's what they don't tell you about moving out of
964
00:48:54.570 --> 00:48:56.710
the country. Get to bloody Charing Cross Hospital.
965
00:48:56.769 --> 00:48:58.880
That's got some phone reception.
966
00:49:00.900 --> 00:49:03.699
So um and i put it on the video that
967
00:49:03.719 --> 00:49:07.320
was played was quite it was quite specialized pornography right
968
00:49:07.360 --> 00:49:09.960
okay yeah and had this been left on by the
969
00:49:10.019 --> 00:49:13.510
previous person so i made a mental note to obviously
970
00:49:13.690 --> 00:49:16.150
reset to some kind of homepage when I was in
971
00:49:16.250 --> 00:49:19.159
a way it was sweet that the person in before
972
00:49:19.179 --> 00:49:21.159
me was also gay but on the other hand that
973
00:49:21.179 --> 00:49:22.519
was about as likely to do the job as an
974
00:49:22.559 --> 00:49:25.380
episode of Bargain Hunt so I sort of canned that
975
00:49:25.679 --> 00:49:31.780
and then pressed the remote control Nothing. Nothing, nothing, nothing. Presumably,
976
00:49:32.219 --> 00:49:35.369
you know, it had been the victim of hundreds of
977
00:49:35.489 --> 00:49:40.230
thousands of quadrillions of spermatozoa who hadn't found their way
978
00:49:40.250 --> 00:49:44.030
into the pot and had invalidated Panasonic's warranty on the
979
00:49:44.090 --> 00:49:48.260
remote control anyway so you couldn't change it couldn't change
980
00:49:48.380 --> 00:49:52.079
it so and i had no reception so you know
981
00:49:52.099 --> 00:49:54.360
where there's a willy there's a way of course got
982
00:49:54.400 --> 00:49:56.679
it done just shy of the 20 minutes that also
983
00:49:56.699 --> 00:49:57.219
yeah being.
984
00:49:57.099 --> 00:50:00.199
Told i can't do that to mine for 20 minutes
985
00:50:00.320 --> 00:50:02.900
i'm exhausted So you're on a timer.
986
00:50:02.960 --> 00:50:06.130
You're on a timer. The clock's running. Anyway, so I
987
00:50:06.170 --> 00:50:08.869
get it done just before the time. Also, James is
988
00:50:08.889 --> 00:50:11.269
in the room next door. And I hear his door
989
00:50:11.510 --> 00:50:16.889
click after about six minutes. He's nervous. I get it done.
990
00:50:16.929 --> 00:50:20.550
Jimbo's demolished it. And James has gone down to the car.
991
00:50:20.809 --> 00:50:25.909
And then I leave the room. And you put it
992
00:50:25.949 --> 00:50:28.070
in a little locker thing and then leave it. And
993
00:50:28.090 --> 00:50:29.519
there's a guy in the waiting room. So you don't
994
00:50:29.539 --> 00:50:31.219
have to hand it. You don't have to look someone
995
00:50:31.239 --> 00:50:32.440
in the eye. You don't have to hand it to
996
00:50:32.460 --> 00:50:33.559
a person. You don't have to work out with your
997
00:50:33.619 --> 00:50:36.380
own hot cum in your hand. You put it in
998
00:50:36.400 --> 00:50:38.380
a little locker and then someone collects it. And there's
999
00:50:38.400 --> 00:50:41.289
a guy in the waiting room. And obviously the correct
1000
00:50:41.309 --> 00:50:44.829
protocol is to stare straight ahead and walk towards the stairs,
1001
00:50:45.090 --> 00:50:49.329
which I did. And then the guy hadn't read the
1002
00:50:49.349 --> 00:50:53.269
protocol and goes, all right. All right. Love your book,
1003
00:50:53.429 --> 00:50:57.349
by the way. Oh God. Did you, how much did
1004
00:50:57.369 --> 00:51:00.849
you engage? Nothing at all. I just thought, what I
1005
00:51:00.929 --> 00:51:02.610
should have said and what I realized when I was
1006
00:51:02.650 --> 00:51:06.639
driving back is I should have not only explained that
1007
00:51:06.679 --> 00:51:10.630
that wasn't my video, Oh, because he's in next. So
1008
00:51:10.670 --> 00:51:14.090
the remote control was already broken. So now he's going
1009
00:51:14.110 --> 00:51:17.590
around with the reverse version of this anecdote, telling people that,
1010
00:51:17.860 --> 00:51:21.519
you know, he went in the same booth as this
1011
00:51:21.800 --> 00:51:25.159
Adam Kay former doctor bloke, watches little and large fetish
1012
00:51:25.219 --> 00:51:30.260
porn for his remote controls. At least you've cleared that
1013
00:51:30.320 --> 00:51:33.599
up now. I have, yeah. And your podcast is extremely popular.
1014
00:51:33.679 --> 00:51:36.420
It chimes are. Yeah, if you've heard.
1015
00:51:37.320 --> 00:51:39.139
If you followed Adam Kay into the.
1016
00:51:39.179 --> 00:51:42.059
If his IVF was successful following that first visit, he's
1017
00:51:42.079 --> 00:51:46.070
now listening to the podcast and we've squared the circle. Exactly. Perfect.
1018
00:51:46.469 --> 00:51:50.829
And did you have a lot of discussion about going tandem?
1019
00:51:51.230 --> 00:51:57.039
Yes. James is really, really close to his siblings in
1020
00:51:57.179 --> 00:52:04.170
age and in life. And... wanted the dream scenario to
1021
00:52:04.210 --> 00:52:07.280
be kids as close to each other in ages as possible.
1022
00:52:07.820 --> 00:52:13.019
We'd spoken to some people with twins who were fucking
1023
00:52:13.099 --> 00:52:19.429
liars and told us that... It was actually, you know,
1024
00:52:19.690 --> 00:52:22.150
looking after the two wasn't the same as, you know,
1025
00:52:22.469 --> 00:52:26.500
as when we had the third one. It was exactly
1026
00:52:26.539 --> 00:52:28.400
the same, you know, just, you know, it's a couple more,
1027
00:52:28.739 --> 00:52:30.960
you know, doesn't make any difference changing one nappy or
1028
00:52:31.019 --> 00:52:32.840
two nappies. You're making milk, you might as well make
1029
00:52:32.880 --> 00:52:36.539
two bottles. I don't know if they'd forgotten or they
1030
00:52:36.579 --> 00:52:39.760
were just pranking me. Whatever it was, as soon as
1031
00:52:39.780 --> 00:52:42.510
we heard that, we were like, yeah, this makes absolute sense.
1032
00:52:42.789 --> 00:52:45.750
Get it out of the way. Because most of our
1033
00:52:45.789 --> 00:52:49.909
mates have done, you know, the thing that you've done
1034
00:52:49.929 --> 00:52:51.349
where you've got one kid and then a couple of
1035
00:52:51.369 --> 00:52:53.780
years later you have another kid. And you end up...
1036
00:52:54.340 --> 00:52:57.159
It clearly, from the outside, it didn't look fun having
1037
00:52:57.179 --> 00:53:01.360
a two-and-a-half-year-old running around and then a potato just lying
1038
00:53:01.400 --> 00:53:05.239
there and can't do anything. And trying to balance that. No, stop.
1039
00:53:05.260 --> 00:53:08.590
Get your hands out of the oven. No, no, stop.
1040
00:53:09.050 --> 00:53:12.309
That thing. We thought, well, we avoid that. Everything happens
1041
00:53:12.349 --> 00:53:15.769
at exactly the same stage. But turns out we'd romanticized
1042
00:53:15.889 --> 00:53:18.050
it and we'd been lied to. So that was that. Lied.
1043
00:53:19.880 --> 00:53:21.579
Also, as well, with the IVF, it is a bit
1044
00:53:21.619 --> 00:53:23.840
more of a lottery, so it could fall either way.
1045
00:53:23.860 --> 00:53:25.739
It could be exactly the same time or a couple
1046
00:53:25.760 --> 00:53:28.079
of months difference or a year difference. So it's not
1047
00:53:28.139 --> 00:53:29.110
a guarantee, is it?
1048
00:53:29.139 --> 00:53:33.219
It's a bit more of a lottery. Absolutely, absolutely no guarantee.
1049
00:53:34.260 --> 00:53:37.820
And then I missed Ruby's birth. Did you? Yeah. Oh,
1050
00:53:38.079 --> 00:53:41.260
because she was the premature. She was premature, right? So
1051
00:53:41.400 --> 00:53:46.099
we were in the theatre. not the operating theatre we
1052
00:53:46.119 --> 00:53:48.840
should have been in. We were in the Almeida Theatre
1053
00:53:48.860 --> 00:53:53.519
in Islington watching Tammy Faye, which is the musical about
1054
00:53:53.559 --> 00:53:58.530
the American TV evangelist by Elton John did the music.
1055
00:53:58.590 --> 00:54:00.969
Very good. Well, the first 20 minutes were very good.
1056
00:54:00.989 --> 00:54:04.230
I can't comment on the rest of it because James's
1057
00:54:04.829 --> 00:54:10.570
phone went and rather than silencing the phone, you know,
1058
00:54:10.590 --> 00:54:12.280
which is obviously what, you know, sort of, you know,
1059
00:54:12.920 --> 00:54:14.460
he ran out of the theatre and I was like,
1060
00:54:14.500 --> 00:54:18.760
this has to be important. And so I ran out
1061
00:54:18.780 --> 00:54:22.909
of the theatre with him and it was our amazing.
1062
00:54:23.670 --> 00:54:25.909
That cast going, oh God, Adam Cage has left.
1063
00:54:25.929 --> 00:54:33.530
Yeah. Fuck. He knows Ben Wishaw, shit. Fuck. I've heard
1064
00:54:33.570 --> 00:54:35.409
a story about the porn he's into, though. Yeah, he's
1065
00:54:35.550 --> 00:54:42.469
a right dirty bastard. Better off without him. Yeah. Absolute pervert. Sorry,
1066
00:54:42.489 --> 00:54:44.809
so you've run out of the theatre? I've run out
1067
00:54:44.829 --> 00:54:49.199
of the theatre and, you know, our surrogate, one of
1068
00:54:49.219 --> 00:54:51.719
our nicest, kindest, best people in the world, one of
1069
00:54:51.760 --> 00:54:55.500
our best friends, phoning to say, I think my waters
1070
00:54:55.519 --> 00:55:00.679
have just broken and so I've gone to the hospital
1071
00:55:00.699 --> 00:55:07.429
and And they said they want to deliver in 12 hours. Blimey.
1072
00:55:08.090 --> 00:55:10.530
And unless there's any sign of an infection, unless I
1073
00:55:10.550 --> 00:55:13.099
start contracting, in which case I'm going to want to...
1074
00:55:13.800 --> 00:55:17.809
they want to deliver immediately. How many weeks in was this?
1075
00:55:18.230 --> 00:55:21.789
This was six weeks early. So not mega, mega, mega early.
1076
00:55:21.829 --> 00:55:24.969
But it's still a shock. We were planning to go
1077
00:55:25.050 --> 00:55:29.900
out the week afterwards, spend some time with her. And
1078
00:55:30.179 --> 00:55:33.579
be able to fly for the five weeks. Get the
1079
00:55:33.619 --> 00:55:38.969
place ready and buy all the stuff. So jump into
1080
00:55:39.090 --> 00:55:44.070
a taxi. And it's like a film. We say Heathrow Airport. Oh, God.
1081
00:55:44.110 --> 00:55:46.090
Yeah, because she's in America.
1082
00:55:46.239 --> 00:55:48.920
Yeah, she's in America. We're about. She's in Washington, D.C.
1083
00:55:49.019 --> 00:55:50.739
So Lisa's on the right side of America. Yeah, I've
1084
00:55:50.760 --> 00:55:56.900
got East Coast. And then we realised, unlike in the movies,
1085
00:55:56.920 --> 00:55:58.239
we had to do things like go to our house
1086
00:55:58.260 --> 00:56:00.199
first and get some passports and a badge. Yeah, of course.
1087
00:56:00.260 --> 00:56:02.099
So we were like, actually, don't go to Heathrow. Go
1088
00:56:02.139 --> 00:56:03.639
to Chile. Yeah.
1089
00:56:04.929 --> 00:56:06.889
You can't just go to the airport at WH Smith
1090
00:56:06.949 --> 00:56:11.130
and hold up the book.
1091
00:56:11.170 --> 00:56:14.469
So they wouldn't recognise me from the photo in the
1092
00:56:14.489 --> 00:56:19.099
back of the book because it's 12 years old. And
1093
00:56:19.119 --> 00:56:22.880
so James goes in and he gets the passport and
1094
00:56:22.900 --> 00:56:27.360
clothes and I'm on eye scanner looking for tickets. And
1095
00:56:27.380 --> 00:56:33.179
there's only one seat that will get us out on time.
1096
00:56:33.260 --> 00:56:35.789
Oh my God. James doesn't believe me, has a look
1097
00:56:35.809 --> 00:56:37.610
at himself and there's one seat. And worst of all,
1098
00:56:37.989 --> 00:56:40.789
worse than it being one seat, it's in first class.
1099
00:56:41.409 --> 00:56:45.000
So I have to pay fucking for... Anyway. As if
1100
00:56:45.019 --> 00:56:48.320
kids aren't expensive enough. Yeah, if there weren't two, to
1101
00:56:48.440 --> 00:56:52.019
not put you in that moral decision. So we, you know,
1102
00:56:52.039 --> 00:56:55.159
flipped a coin. He went out and I went on
1103
00:56:55.179 --> 00:56:58.250
the first, you know, flight the next morning and he
1104
00:56:58.469 --> 00:57:02.989
got there... Shit-faced on champagne. Loads of sleep. Yeah, exactly.
1105
00:57:04.099 --> 00:57:05.900
He got there a quarter of an hour before Ruby
1106
00:57:05.940 --> 00:57:12.800
was born. And then it was, she was very tiny
1107
00:57:12.920 --> 00:57:17.480
and she was admitted to the neonatal intensive care unit,
1108
00:57:17.699 --> 00:57:20.780
which was obviously beyond stressful.
1109
00:57:21.519 --> 00:57:24.159
And as an ex-doctor though, do you find it more
1110
00:57:24.179 --> 00:57:27.349
stressful or less stressful or? you know, it's just your,
1111
00:57:27.489 --> 00:57:29.750
your daughter. So you're just, you know, more stress.
1112
00:57:29.849 --> 00:57:32.170
I don't know. A little knowledge is a dangerous thing.
1113
00:57:32.309 --> 00:57:35.090
So like, you know, the, the, you know, the, the
1114
00:57:35.130 --> 00:57:39.860
doctors are saying, they're saying she's doing fine. And I'm like,
1115
00:57:40.699 --> 00:57:43.739
I've said fine a million times to patients. And that's
1116
00:57:43.800 --> 00:57:46.719
not the best adjective. That's a hedging your bets at one.
1117
00:57:47.309 --> 00:57:50.550
you'd have said something else. And so, but it's a
1118
00:57:50.550 --> 00:57:53.429
feeling of absolute powerlessness. I would have been powerless even
1119
00:57:53.469 --> 00:57:55.110
if I was there, but being on the other side
1120
00:57:55.150 --> 00:57:58.239
of the water. And anyway, James was, you know, I
1121
00:57:58.320 --> 00:57:59.699
was on the phone to him the whole time getting
1122
00:57:59.760 --> 00:58:03.280
updates on, on Sargo, who's doing amazingly, on Ruby, who's
1123
00:58:03.300 --> 00:58:05.980
doing fine. So did you just go home? Did you
1124
00:58:06.039 --> 00:58:09.380
never go to Heathrow? Did you... So I went home
1125
00:58:09.679 --> 00:58:11.980
and then went out the next, got the first flight
1126
00:58:12.000 --> 00:58:15.289
the next morning. And I'd been having these constant updates,
1127
00:58:15.369 --> 00:58:18.030
which was great. And then it was weird as I
1128
00:58:18.449 --> 00:58:22.530
joined the queue for definitely not first class and said goodbye.
1129
00:58:22.610 --> 00:58:25.780
I was like, well, at least there's plain Wi-Fi. So
1130
00:58:25.800 --> 00:58:29.780
I can use that to get updates on Ruby all
1131
00:58:29.800 --> 00:58:33.170
through the flight. Said my prayer of thanks there. to
1132
00:58:33.210 --> 00:58:36.949
whoever invented, you know, the satellites in the sky. Then
1133
00:58:36.969 --> 00:58:38.769
I realised it was probably Elon Musk who invented them,
1134
00:58:38.789 --> 00:58:42.880
so I retracted my prayer. And then the flight attendant said,
1135
00:58:42.969 --> 00:58:47.360
you know, bing bong, unfortunately, Wi-Fi's down on the flight.
1136
00:58:47.380 --> 00:58:49.219
Should have gone first class. I bet it wasn't down
1137
00:58:49.280 --> 00:58:51.820
on first class.
1138
00:58:51.860 --> 00:58:53.820
The pilot's talking to the ground somehow. Get me on
1139
00:58:53.860 --> 00:58:54.179
that one.
1140
00:58:54.360 --> 00:59:01.489
Exactly, yeah. And so I put in my headphones... Sadly,
1141
00:59:01.510 --> 00:59:04.449
didn't listen to your podcast, listened to, listened to, just
1142
00:59:04.469 --> 00:59:07.449
put my phone on shuffle. It was a listen to
1143
00:59:07.489 --> 00:59:10.920
some Tom Waits, which made me. burst into tears. And
1144
00:59:10.940 --> 00:59:13.199
I'm not a crier. I think a decade's tears were
1145
00:59:13.219 --> 00:59:16.400
just coming out. And I cried. The cabin crew came
1146
00:59:16.440 --> 00:59:18.980
over and said, are you okay, sir? And I was like, yeah,
1147
00:59:19.000 --> 00:59:21.840
I'm fine. And I, I don't think they believe me
1148
00:59:21.860 --> 00:59:24.010
because I didn't stop crying for the entire, like seven
1149
00:59:24.030 --> 00:59:27.289
hours of the flight. I cried in the taxi and
1150
00:59:27.309 --> 00:59:30.010
I cried when I met Ruby and, this NICU unit.
1151
00:59:30.090 --> 00:59:33.650
And so it was, it was a, she had a,
1152
00:59:33.929 --> 00:59:36.750
she had a tough start and I had a, I
1153
00:59:36.769 --> 00:59:39.550
had a, I was a rubbish dad because I literally
1154
00:59:39.590 --> 00:59:40.159
missed the birth.
1155
00:59:40.440 --> 00:59:43.300
No, you mentioned that a couple of times. I've heard
1156
00:59:43.320 --> 00:59:44.800
you say it in other interviews as well, but that's,
1157
00:59:44.840 --> 00:59:46.159
you can't beat yourself up by that. I don't know
1158
00:59:46.179 --> 00:59:47.469
if you're doing it in jest or you mean it,
1159
00:59:47.500 --> 00:59:49.760
but you can only do, you can't be by the
1160
00:59:49.780 --> 00:59:51.960
surrogate side for nine months in America.
1161
00:59:52.119 --> 00:59:54.469
You know, the person who should feel guilty is James.
1162
00:59:55.409 --> 00:59:57.260
He took the fight no.
1163
00:59:57.050 --> 01:00:01.750
You're right you're right you're right And you say you
1164
01:00:01.769 --> 01:00:03.889
can't be there for nine months. We were there so
1165
01:00:04.070 --> 01:00:07.150
early for Ziggy. We weren't going to, you know, we
1166
01:00:07.190 --> 01:00:08.570
weren't leaving anything to... Yeah.
1167
01:00:08.610 --> 01:00:10.239
He was still going to be there for five weeks before.
1168
01:00:10.280 --> 01:00:12.980
It was just he was unfortunate with the premature birth.
1169
01:00:13.519 --> 01:00:15.179
You know, we had Tom Skinner on here who missed
1170
01:00:15.239 --> 01:00:18.619
his child's birth when he was in America and couldn't
1171
01:00:18.659 --> 01:00:20.920
get home and stuff. But that was his wife went
1172
01:00:20.960 --> 01:00:24.320
into labour early. So, yeah, don't beat yourself up over that.
1173
01:00:24.619 --> 01:00:27.199
That's how that happens. But unfortunately, I shouldn't have said
1174
01:00:27.239 --> 01:00:30.510
this in these interviews because... I could have just lied.
1175
01:00:30.550 --> 01:00:33.809
She'd have never known. If I hadn't done this, it
1176
01:00:33.829 --> 01:00:38.210
was this magical time. Exactly. Could have posed for some
1177
01:00:38.329 --> 01:00:41.690
photos after, you know, she wouldn't know the difference between being,
1178
01:00:42.030 --> 01:00:45.880
what you look at six weeks premature and two weeks premature. Yeah, exactly.
1179
01:00:46.199 --> 01:00:49.360
But she, you know, there's, there's timestamps on those photos.
1180
01:00:49.460 --> 01:00:51.139
It would have caught up with you. It would have
1181
01:00:51.179 --> 01:00:52.380
caught up with you in some way.
1182
01:00:52.579 --> 01:00:54.199
And when she did, it would just be lovely. I
1183
01:00:54.239 --> 01:00:56.340
guess just to imagine she just looked at the photo
1184
01:00:56.880 --> 01:00:57.960
and said, dog.
1185
01:01:02.190 --> 01:01:04.010
Adam, we've got time for one last question. This has
1186
01:01:04.030 --> 01:01:05.289
been absolutely amazing. Thank you so much.
1187
01:01:05.309 --> 01:01:07.190
I'll have to get you back on this. Thanks so much.
1188
01:01:07.489 --> 01:01:10.949
Kay's Incredible Inventions is out. Is it out now? It's
1189
01:01:10.969 --> 01:01:13.190
very much out now, yeah. It's out now. That's what
1190
01:01:13.210 --> 01:01:14.110
they say, isn't it? Amazing.
1191
01:01:14.230 --> 01:01:16.010
And also as well, you've got that competition at the
1192
01:01:16.050 --> 01:01:17.449
V & A we should mention as well.
1193
01:01:17.550 --> 01:01:20.530
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Adam, Kay and Jan competition. So
1194
01:01:21.010 --> 01:01:24.010
if you've got a kid who is of an age
1195
01:01:24.030 --> 01:01:28.139
that they might come up with their own invention... then
1196
01:01:28.360 --> 01:01:32.170
they can go to littleinventors.org. And what they do is
1197
01:01:32.190 --> 01:01:34.269
they send in their idea for an invention and a
1198
01:01:34.289 --> 01:01:37.329
drawing of it. And then the winning one, as chosen
1199
01:01:37.389 --> 01:01:41.030
by me and some proper experts, the invention gets made,
1200
01:01:41.590 --> 01:01:44.949
goes in the actual V & A, and goes into
1201
01:01:45.010 --> 01:01:51.730
the book as an official invention. Oh, that's amazing. So
1202
01:01:51.750 --> 01:01:54.050
that's done with the V & A. Oh, that is brilliant.
1203
01:01:54.389 --> 01:01:57.489
Um the last question adam uh we ask everyone um
1204
01:01:57.670 --> 01:02:00.170
about about your partner james um what's the one.
1205
01:02:00.090 --> 01:02:01.840
Thing he does we don't always ask about james no
1206
01:02:01.860 --> 01:02:05.039
sorry i looked up from the book there as if
1207
01:02:05.199 --> 01:02:07.099
i was like in a waiting room so i was
1208
01:02:07.139 --> 01:02:10.739
just enjoying the book um what's the one thing james
1209
01:02:10.780 --> 01:02:12.460
does as a parent where you're in awe and go
1210
01:02:12.539 --> 01:02:14.860
oh my god he's amazing i'm so lucky we've got
1211
01:02:14.900 --> 01:02:16.920
children together and then what's the one thing he does
1212
01:02:16.940 --> 01:02:19.099
that annoys you and grates away at you and if
1213
01:02:19.119 --> 01:02:21.980
he was to listen to this You might not want
1214
01:02:22.000 --> 01:02:23.139
to bring it up with him in the middle of
1215
01:02:23.179 --> 01:02:25.480
a night feed where you're arguing, but if he listened
1216
01:02:26.360 --> 01:02:29.010
with a calm mind, he might go, yeah, Adam's got
1217
01:02:29.030 --> 01:02:29.789
a fair point there.
1218
01:02:30.190 --> 01:02:37.750
He is endlessly inventive. And I always know the next thing. Exactly.
1219
01:02:39.690 --> 01:02:42.449
The next thing to do, like, you know, sort of,
1220
01:02:42.599 --> 01:02:45.340
you know, I'm with them on my own for, you know,
1221
01:02:45.420 --> 01:02:49.820
eight hours in the playroom. Within 20 minutes, we're playing
1222
01:02:50.539 --> 01:02:54.429
some god-awful Elmo music just because I've run out of
1223
01:02:54.969 --> 01:02:56.789
sort of fun things to do. And when I see
1224
01:02:56.829 --> 01:02:58.769
him with them, he always knows the next thing to
1225
01:02:58.789 --> 01:03:01.110
do and the thing to play with and the, you know,
1226
01:03:01.130 --> 01:03:04.389
the imaginary airplane. And he's so... good at that and
1227
01:03:04.469 --> 01:03:06.829
i'm i'm in absolute awe of uh of that he's
1228
01:03:06.849 --> 01:03:09.320
a he's a really good dad he's just taken to
1229
01:03:09.360 --> 01:03:14.280
it so naturally he is also the single messiest person
1230
01:03:14.420 --> 01:03:18.340
i know and i'm including my two children aged eight
1231
01:03:18.360 --> 01:03:20.719
to twelve months oh i wish i could deal with
1232
01:03:20.760 --> 01:03:24.840
that and there's just you know i will come back
1233
01:03:24.920 --> 01:03:26.860
if i've been i've been away at a gig or
1234
01:03:26.880 --> 01:03:32.050
whatever i'll come back And literally, my first thought is,
1235
01:03:32.070 --> 01:03:38.150
what's happened? It's like, has someone kidnapped them and ransacked them?
1236
01:03:38.190 --> 01:03:42.849
What's happened? But no, nothing's happened. He's just got absolutely
1237
01:03:43.030 --> 01:03:45.989
all of our possessions, put them on the ground, emptied
1238
01:03:46.030 --> 01:03:48.610
the kitchen cupboards onto the floor. I don't know what
1239
01:03:48.670 --> 01:03:54.380
he does, but it takes me so much longer to
1240
01:03:54.429 --> 01:03:56.659
tidy up the mess than it's taken him to create it.
1241
01:03:56.659 --> 01:03:57.800
I don't know what's going on.
1242
01:03:58.360 --> 01:04:02.119
That's because he's being endlessly creative. It's actually very massive
1243
01:04:02.179 --> 01:04:03.840
to be creative, isn't it?
1244
01:04:04.139 --> 01:04:06.800
To get all of our books and stack them in
1245
01:04:06.840 --> 01:04:12.360
a pyramid or something. But it's the messiness is the killer.
1246
01:04:12.719 --> 01:04:16.800
It's the killer. It's the killer and it's the motive
1247
01:04:16.820 --> 01:04:18.929
for his murder. Fair enough.
1248
01:04:18.969 --> 01:04:22.130
That makes sense. Adam, you've been absolutely amazing. Thank you
1249
01:04:22.150 --> 01:04:22.789
so much for coming on.
1250
01:04:22.789 --> 01:04:24.320
Thank you so much, Adam. And we'll have to get
1251
01:04:24.340 --> 01:04:24.820
you back.
1252
01:04:24.699 --> 01:04:25.980
On when you're a little bit older and you've had
1253
01:04:26.019 --> 01:04:28.280
a bit more space and time.
1254
01:04:28.300 --> 01:04:31.230
I really enjoyed chatting to you. Thank you. Cheers, Adam. Cheers, mate.
1255
01:04:33.769 --> 01:04:37.230
Adam k there we go i didn't do these live
1256
01:04:37.269 --> 01:04:39.349
these outros don't we just straight off the bat.
1257
01:04:39.250 --> 01:04:41.090
Yeah just because i just feel like that is that's
1258
01:04:41.110 --> 01:04:42.769
how i feel let's just bloody get it out of
1259
01:04:42.809 --> 01:04:46.369
me no time to just like consider it takeaways from
1260
01:04:46.409 --> 01:04:48.550
that don't be a doctor if you don't want to
1261
01:04:48.570 --> 01:04:50.969
be a doctor that's a good yeah good life lesson
1262
01:04:51.469 --> 01:04:54.199
second one can't believe we're bromley brothers me and i
1263
01:04:54.199 --> 01:04:55.539
know fucking.
1264
01:04:55.179 --> 01:05:00.929
Unbelievable If you'd asked me which person from round you
1265
01:05:00.989 --> 01:05:02.710
went to Dulwich College, I'd have gone Tom Allen.
1266
01:05:03.050 --> 01:05:06.530
I can't believe he exists in the glades, Adam Kay
1267
01:05:06.570 --> 01:05:07.170
and his dad.
1268
01:05:07.690 --> 01:05:08.349
That's why I never saw him.
1269
01:05:08.369 --> 01:05:10.750
He was in the bookshop, I was in the toy shop. Right, Josh,
1270
01:05:10.769 --> 01:05:11.550
I'll see you next time.
1271
01:05:12.030 --> 01:05:14.989
Oh, we didn't get to say, Rob, that you got
1272
01:05:15.329 --> 01:05:17.760
the Washington DC thing came up and you got to
1273
01:05:17.860 --> 01:05:18.909
use your new knowledge.
1274
01:05:18.929 --> 01:05:21.300
Yeah, because that's obviously on the East Coast, actually, isn't it?
1275
01:05:21.480 --> 01:05:22.599
As it goes there.
1276
01:05:22.619 --> 01:05:25.349
Yeah, so there we go. Well done. Thank you, Adam Kay.
1277
01:05:25.480 --> 01:05:27.519
See you on Monday, Tuesday. Cheers, bye. Whatever, bye.
1278
01:05:31.420 --> 01:05:34.500
Andy Bush here from Guestimators, the brand new game show
1279
01:05:34.519 --> 01:05:38.449
where guesswork beats Google. Join me, our resident quiz master,
1280
01:05:38.469 --> 01:05:41.730
Statman Matt, and a celebrity guest as we dive into
1281
01:05:41.750 --> 01:05:44.829
the brains of the great British public. Statman, what sort
1282
01:05:44.849 --> 01:05:46.030
of questions have we been asking?
1283
01:05:46.429 --> 01:05:48.570
Well, Bush, here are some of my favourites. Who's the
1284
01:05:48.610 --> 01:05:50.960
best Irish person? Which finger would you chop off if
1285
01:05:51.000 --> 01:05:51.440
you had to?
1286
01:05:51.860 --> 01:05:54.579
And how many human-sized corgis could Prince William beat.
1287
01:05:54.460 --> 01:05:54.840
In a fight?
1288
01:05:55.000 --> 01:05:57.139
To play along at home and listen to the podcast,
1289
01:05:57.199 --> 01:06:00.340
just visit guestimators.com. I think I'd chop off my left
1290
01:06:00.380 --> 01:06:01.070
little finger, by the way.