S7 EP31: The Parenting Hell Mixtape

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Hello I'm Rob Beckett and I'm Josh Willicombe. Welcome to
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Parenting Hell the show in which Josh and I discuss
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what it's really like to be a parent which I
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would say can be a little tricky.
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So to make ourselves and hopefully you feel better about
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the trials and tribulations of modern day parenting each week
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we're chatting to a famous parent about how they're.
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Coping or hopefully how they're not coping.
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And we'll also be hearing from you the listener with
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your tips advice and of course tales of parenting.
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Woe because let's be honest there are plenty of times
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where none of us know what we're doing.
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Hello, I'm Rob Beckett. And I'm Josh Whittacombe. And you're
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listening to Now That's What I Call Parenting Hell.
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Sarah Pascoe, are you eating something, Josh?
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Sorry.
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What are you eating?
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I'm eating yoghurt, because I got home. Oh, yoghurt. I
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just got home from nursery drop-off four minutes ago.
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I think a yoghurt is one of the worst things
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you can eat for an audio.
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Sorry, I'll stop.
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But I tell you what, this is why we should
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have put the videos on, because it's very funny to
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watch someone eating yoghurt.
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Yeah, let's put your video on.
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It's in a bowl. It's in a bowl. It's not
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like a munch bunch or something.
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Yeah, but a yoghurt, I don't know, a yoghurt, I
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think a yoghurt just sounds like your mouth's so full,
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isn't it?
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Really also it's really sort of like woman in an
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office who's starving she just has a yogurt on her
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desk and she just sort of gulps it down and
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carries on with.
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Her work sorry i've had a busy morning dropping the
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kids just get let me get this yogurt.
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Down this is my time This is my time with
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my activia.
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Sarah, this is very close to the bone for Josh
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because we put a photo up of.
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Is it?
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Well, yeah, because we put a photo up of me
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in a vest hoping everyone would take the mickey out
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of me. But then everyone just said that Josh looked
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like a middle-aged woman having a start breakdown.
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Yeah, I looked like Sam Boulding.
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And he did. Now he's eating yoghurts at his desk.
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Oh, here we go. You know, I think I look
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a bit... Oh, my God, my glasses are steaming up
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now as well. The pressure's too much. How are your
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glasses steaming up? How many kids have you got, Sarah?
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Let's move on. Let's move on.
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Yeah, so I have got a baby. He's a boy
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and he's nearly six months old.
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And it's my first child and I'm 41. I had
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him at 40. I'm an old mum with a young baby.
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No, I'd say these days, in our industry, Sarah, late
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30s is about the mean average, I'd say, isn't it?
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It's true, isn't it?
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I've been talking on stage about how I really thought
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you had to choose between a career and a baby.
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And so it was only when I got to about
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35 and I got really sort of bored.
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Yeah.
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That was like, oh, I could do that as well, actually.
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I could also have a family.
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Well, because that's the thing. It's unfair.
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Women have got more of a time pressure on that
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and also societal pressure of questions all the time, where
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if you're a 35-year-old bloke out and about working, no
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one ever mentions it to you. But if you're a
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35-year-old woman, it's like, so what's the plan?
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Something really passive-aggressive like that. Yeah, absolutely.
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Both of my sisters got married and had children before me,
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and they're both younger than me. And at one of
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my sister's weddings... One of my sister's friends and she
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was talking to me because she liked Date Out of
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Ten Cats and she wanted to know if Jimmy Carr
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was nice. And then the next thing she said was,
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and she just sort of gestured with her arms, like
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the wedding, the children running around, the sun going down,
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my sister in love with her husband.
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She just gestured with her arm and went, all this
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not for you.
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Oh my god all this not for you you've got
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jimmy car and eight out of ten cats on you that's.
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Not this solar studio in elstree is that what you
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want is it lukewarm nandos before you're witty.
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Dictionary corner adorable tweets is that your life is.
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It That's obviously sometimes, I think, from an internalising thing
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of someone that did think, like you did, you either
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pick career or family, and they pick family, and there's
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a slight resentment to someone who's very successful in their career.
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I think that's the battleground.
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Yeah, or that's what we read into it.
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We read in that there's some kind of value judgment
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rather than just, oh, you focus in on that, or
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is that what makes you really happy?
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Or you've made choices.
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It is tricky, because we tried to have children for
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a really long time and then to dive the earth.
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I found all of those conversations really difficult because I
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didn't want to make it really, I didn't want to lie,
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but I also didn't want to make it really like
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a downer. So I was quite defensive about the question
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because it's like, if I tell you the truth, then
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I'm telling you some really heavy stuff straight away.
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Yeah.
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And that's not what you mean. You just, you just
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want like a yes or no answer. What's the plan?
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Yeah.
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And you're not sometimes in that situation just because you've
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both gone for like a mini burger canapé. And then
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all of a sudden you're in a deep dive conversation
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with this cousin that you've never met before.
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What did you reply to this not for you?
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I think I said something very non-committal and then I've
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just been angry about it in my head.
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For five years. You know, I keep reliving it. What
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should I have said?
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Actually, women can have it all now.
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Yeah, I think that's it.
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It's the assumption that, yeah, just that I'm fine.
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Yeah, just haven't met the right person. Like, yeah, it's odd,
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isn't it?
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Gary Neville, welcome to Parenting Hell. We're both very excited
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to have you on this, to be honest. We don't
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want to big up too much. We're big fans.
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Starstruck. There aren't many of them.
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Well, Josh genuinely is.
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Not just me. My wife is so jealous. She's the
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world's biggest Gary Neville fan. Oh, wow.
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Yeah.
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Is this from Man United, like from the start?
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No, no, no.
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Well, no, I'll be honest with you. It's from Monday
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Night Football. She's not even that into football, but she
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absolutely loves you. And to a lesser extent, Jamie Carragher,
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but mainly you. I was just going to say, what
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did she think of the Scouser? No, she's not that fussed.
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She's not that fussed. And so she's not that into football,
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but I'll put it on. But she also now I've
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converted her to Gary Neville's soccer box as well. She
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loves it. Anything Gary Neville based. She's obsessed.
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Have you found you've got a new female fan since
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the after playing career, Gary?
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Because I never had you down as a heartthrob while
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you played.
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No, I don't think many people have ever had me
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down as a heartthrob. Yeah, I think it's fair to
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say not many. No, I don't think I've got a female.
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I'm not exactly David Beckham.
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No. She's not into David Beckham, Gary.
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It's all about you.
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Oh, is she not?
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No.
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Really?
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I was thinking then there must be a reason behind
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her interest in me. It must be access to Bex
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or something like that. There's no way it can be genuine.
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She said, has he got a number for Phil Neville?
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That's what she said.
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You must have had that though.
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When you were playing at Man United, did you feel
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like sometimes you were just people's route to Beckham.
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When you were out and about with David?
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I spent most of my life at United, definitely, if
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it was ever even, well, there was the media days
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or if there was a team day out, I certainly
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wasn't the point of interest when you've got Beckham, Cristiano
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Ronaldo and all the rest of the lads sort of like,
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you know, wandering around.
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So, Gary, oh, I know this because I follow you
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on Instagram and I've seen your family on holiday. That
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was creepy. But what's your family set up, Gary?
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Married with two children, both girls, 12 and 13.
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Oh, OK.
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So you're going into the hardcore teenage years.
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Are you nervous or is it going all right?
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No.
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Do you know something?
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It actually annoys me a little bit because all the
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way through the different stages of being a parent, even
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before children are born, they'll say, oh, your life will change.
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You know, you'll get no sleep. And then you get
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them to twos. It's always the terrible twos. And then
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you get to fives. Oh, they're going to school and
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that's difficult. And you know something, I have to say this,
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and maybe it's because of my approach, and maybe to
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be fair, my wife feels slightly different.
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Than I do.
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Honestly, for me, my relationship with my girls, I almost
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feel like, obviously I'm the dad and they're my daughters,
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but I almost feel like in some ways it's a
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friendship whereby nothing that they can do really bugs me
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or annoys me. I don't get angry with them anymore.
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I don't get angry with them at all, actually. And
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I was, because I don't see them all the time
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because I'm away quite a bit with obviously doing the football.
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And I was with England, obviously as a coach, I
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used to go to World Cups for a month. I
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actually appreciate my time with them. And I've never found
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any stage yet so far of their lives where I've thought, oh,
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I don't like this. And even now I can see
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the fact that, you know, I can see there's makeup
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has started to be introduced and there's an influence of
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say social media platforms. And I'm like, You know, I
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want them to get really good at social media. And
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in terms of sort of the makeup and the changing
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of appearances and wanting to wear dresses or wanting to
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wear things that, you know, teenage girls wear, I'm thinking, well,
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was this always not going to be the case that
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they were going to grow up and that they were
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going to want to go through this phase? So I
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actually feel, I don't know, I feel quite good about
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my relationship with the children and I don't feel as
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though I'm daunted by what's coming, to be fair.
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That is.
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I'm a naive. Does that sound like a naive fart?
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No, it doesn't.
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I like it.
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It sounds like you've got it together, which might be
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quite hard going for the next 45 minutes if you've
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nailed everything.
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There is to do with parenting.
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But we'll find a way.
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Did you.
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I see you as a kind of authority figure. That's
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how I'd see you as a parent. Would that be
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fair to say?
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Honestly, never in a million.
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My relationship at home with my children is the one
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relationship I think probably in my life where... with my
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wife as well where I'm not the authority figure as
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I've always felt as though obviously even on Sky you
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speak with authority you feel you know you speak with
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a determination at home honestly I am nothing like that
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absolutely the opposite I because to be honest when I
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go home I don't take my professional life home with
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me and I never have so there's no football paintings
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around There's no football shirts. There's no reference to, you know,
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my career or anything. I always wanted to get away
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from my professional life at home. And so I see
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it completely differently. And I'm not like that at home
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at all. So, for instance, tonight I've been away for
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a week. I went to Singapore and then I've been
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in London and still in London now and I go
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home tonight. And my oldest daughter said that she wanted
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00:10:16.269 --> 00:10:18.049
to go around to my mum's tonight, which I thought
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was a little bit disrespectful personally. Because I've been away
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for a week. And I'm like, well, do you not
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want to see me? And I think if I was
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00:10:26.159 --> 00:10:28.120
being authoritative, I'd say, I've not seen you for a week.
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00:10:28.179 --> 00:10:29.759
I want you to stay at home with me. But
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I've said, no, that's what she wants to do.
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Go on.
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You're an independent thinking, you know, young person. Go for it.
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00:10:35.250 --> 00:10:38.169
You can spend another night away from me if you want.
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00:10:38.570 --> 00:10:40.809
But the youngest daughter stayed at home because she's got
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00:10:40.830 --> 00:10:42.279
a little bit To be fair, she's a little bit
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00:10:42.340 --> 00:10:45.980
nicer than my older one. My older one's a bit
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00:10:46.019 --> 00:10:48.059
like me. I love her to death, but she's a
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00:10:48.080 --> 00:10:50.980
little bit sort of, she has the sort of blinkers on,
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00:10:51.139 --> 00:10:53.659
quite focused and she knows what she wants and she
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00:10:53.710 --> 00:10:54.690
wants to go to my mum's.
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00:10:54.789 --> 00:10:55.590
So she goes to my mum's.
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00:10:56.830 --> 00:10:58.950
So a week away and she's around the nan's house.
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00:10:59.690 --> 00:11:02.690
Yeah, she's around the nan's and she probably likes being
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00:11:02.710 --> 00:11:04.389
with my mum more than she likes being with me
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00:11:04.450 --> 00:11:06.549
because my mum looks after her and, you know, they'll
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watch netball games together and she'll give her what she
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00:11:09.269 --> 00:11:12.029
wants food wise and things like that and, Yeah, just
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like nans do, really.
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And with the girls, I've seen it on your Instagram
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where you almost feel like the annoying younger brother to them,
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where you're filming them and winding them up.
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Is that your sort of role with them?
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You say you don't take your work home and you're
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not the authority figure.
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00:11:28.360 --> 00:11:29.980
No, what you see, to be.
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Fair, on Instagram is pretty much how I am at
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00:11:32.090 --> 00:11:35.750
all with them in terms of just trying to joke
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with them, laugh with them. I suppose, yeah, it is
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00:11:40.549 --> 00:11:43.019
a little bit like that. And I embarrassed them enormously.
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00:11:43.039 --> 00:11:45.700
And I always thought that we all think we're quite
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00:11:45.740 --> 00:11:47.080
cool dads, don't.
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We?
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00:11:48.710 --> 00:11:50.429
And that's the one thing I can't quite work out.
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Why are they so embarrassed about me?
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00:11:52.110 --> 00:11:54.169
Am I not a cool dad?
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00:11:54.250 --> 00:11:57.190
Every dad that I've spoke to feels the same.
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00:12:00.919 --> 00:12:02.919
Welcome to the podcast, Stacey Sullivan.
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00:12:03.940 --> 00:12:05.220
Good morning.
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00:12:05.240 --> 00:12:06.019
How are you?
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00:12:06.559 --> 00:12:08.139
Oh my gosh, I'm tired.
297
00:12:08.179 --> 00:12:08.700
How are you?
298
00:12:09.529 --> 00:12:09.990
All right.
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00:12:10.009 --> 00:12:11.620
So have you got a kid there then, Stacey?
300
00:12:12.179 --> 00:12:13.379
Yeah, I've got a few of those.
301
00:12:15.919 --> 00:12:18.039
No, my son Rex is here and my daughter Rose
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00:12:18.059 --> 00:12:20.980
is here. I luckily managed to time Rose's nap to
303
00:12:21.019 --> 00:12:23.659
a tee, so she's asleep. But Rex is running around
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00:12:23.700 --> 00:12:27.759
playing Hot Wheels. So you might hear some door.
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00:12:27.490 --> 00:12:29.990
Slams and some feet running around.
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00:12:30.029 --> 00:12:30.730
I'm sorry.
307
00:12:31.029 --> 00:12:32.330
It goes away at the moment.
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00:12:32.389 --> 00:12:34.870
So I've literally, it's just us. We usually try and
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00:12:34.909 --> 00:12:37.070
do our work. Oh, that was nice, Rex. Thank you.
310
00:12:37.690 --> 00:12:39.110
We usually try and do our work.
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00:12:38.929 --> 00:12:41.789
Like alternatively, but it just hasn't happened in the last
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00:12:41.809 --> 00:12:42.950
three weeks because he's been away.
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00:12:44.000 --> 00:12:45.820
Oh, fair enough. He's been away filming.
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00:12:46.500 --> 00:12:49.539
Stacey, for the uninitiated, please can you run us through
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00:12:49.559 --> 00:12:51.759
how many children you have and their ages.
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00:12:51.980 --> 00:12:52.679
If possible?
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00:12:52.700 --> 00:12:54.679
I don't know if I can remember myself.
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00:12:56.200 --> 00:12:59.330
I've got four children. Together we've got five children.
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00:12:59.399 --> 00:13:06.009
Joe's eldest son, Harry, he's 15. My eldest is 14.
320
00:13:06.009 --> 00:13:07.889
Then there's Leighton, who's 10.
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00:13:07.889 --> 00:13:09.389
Oh, my gosh, how bad is it that I have
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00:13:09.409 --> 00:13:12.289
to sit and think how old they are? I forget
323
00:13:12.330 --> 00:13:13.169
their names sometimes.
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00:13:13.190 --> 00:13:16.740
I'm like, Theo, tell your peanut which are the dogs'
325
00:13:16.779 --> 00:13:19.159
names until I finally reach my children's names.
326
00:13:20.019 --> 00:13:22.100
And then we've got Rex, who is three, and Rose,
327
00:13:22.159 --> 00:13:23.480
who is about to be one.
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00:13:24.279 --> 00:13:25.379
And you've got a load of dogs as well.
329
00:13:26.379 --> 00:13:27.320
Just the two dogs.
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00:13:27.340 --> 00:13:28.200
Just the two dogs.
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00:13:29.340 --> 00:13:30.840
Yeah.
332
00:13:30.879 --> 00:13:31.639
We thought, you know what?
333
00:13:31.740 --> 00:13:34.340
Four kids isn't enough. Shall we get two dogs as well?
334
00:13:34.500 --> 00:13:34.960
Amazing.
335
00:13:35.179 --> 00:13:37.879
Well, I met one of your dogs, Peanut, at the wedding,
336
00:13:37.960 --> 00:13:39.500
and he was very well behaved.
337
00:13:40.320 --> 00:13:41.059
Oh, my gosh.
338
00:13:41.080 --> 00:13:44.149
Peanut is the most friendly dog ever. He loves people.
339
00:13:44.529 --> 00:13:46.250
And when you were at the wedding, when.
340
00:13:46.149 --> 00:13:48.210
We got our photos back from that little photo booth,
341
00:13:48.389 --> 00:13:50.019
Peanut was in nearly every single one.
342
00:13:50.070 --> 00:13:52.529
He was in the taxi getting pictures of everyone.
343
00:13:55.179 --> 00:13:57.600
Well, no, Peanut was asleep in the taxi and then
344
00:13:57.620 --> 00:13:59.159
everyone went in and just sort of picked him up
345
00:13:59.220 --> 00:14:01.320
and he stayed asleep or half woke up for a
346
00:14:01.340 --> 00:14:02.690
photo and then they left him in the cab.
347
00:14:02.769 --> 00:14:04.230
So he was always in the cab.
348
00:14:04.980 --> 00:14:07.500
He loves to cuddle so much. He had the time
349
00:14:07.519 --> 00:14:09.000
of his life that day. There were so many people
350
00:14:09.019 --> 00:14:09.879
giving him attention.
351
00:14:09.899 --> 00:14:11.460
Oh, it was amazing.
352
00:14:11.659 --> 00:14:14.399
I'll just say, because me and Lou were so honestly
353
00:14:14.440 --> 00:14:17.320
invited with the girls, and it was such a lovely day.
354
00:14:17.340 --> 00:14:19.460
I'd say I've been to a load of weddings.
355
00:14:19.480 --> 00:14:20.919
You know, you go to some weddings and they're nice,
356
00:14:20.980 --> 00:14:23.120
or there's some where you go, he did that and
357
00:14:23.159 --> 00:14:24.419
she don't know, all those sort of things.
358
00:14:24.460 --> 00:14:25.919
But it was a proper... Let's.
359
00:14:25.830 --> 00:14:27.000
Hear more about those ones, Rob.
360
00:14:27.139 --> 00:14:28.129
I know, I can't.
361
00:14:29.029 --> 00:14:31.470
Just a bit more details on those ones would be ideal.
362
00:14:32.049 --> 00:14:35.330
You know the weddings I'm talking about. And honestly, I've
363
00:14:35.350 --> 00:14:37.129
never been to a wedding full of so much love.
364
00:14:37.269 --> 00:14:41.460
And the speeches nearly absolutely killed me, Stacey, because all
365
00:14:41.500 --> 00:14:44.179
your boys are a bit older now. They're like teenagers.
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00:14:44.220 --> 00:14:46.940
They did speeches about you and Joe and what all
367
00:14:46.980 --> 00:14:47.830
you meant to each other.
368
00:14:47.850 --> 00:14:50.210
And Joe's mum did one because Joe's dad's not around.
369
00:14:50.250 --> 00:14:51.169
And oh, my God, it was.
370
00:14:51.889 --> 00:14:52.629
Do you know what?
371
00:14:53.230 --> 00:14:55.210
It was so funny because the boys did it. We
372
00:14:55.230 --> 00:14:56.970
didn't say to them we have to do a speech
373
00:14:57.009 --> 00:14:58.240
or anything like that. So we didn't know if they
374
00:14:58.250 --> 00:14:59.440
were going to do anything or not. We just said,
375
00:14:59.639 --> 00:15:01.759
you know, on the day, if you fancy it, go
376
00:15:01.820 --> 00:15:04.539
for it. And Joe was an emotional mess the.
377
00:15:04.460 --> 00:15:05.320
Whole day, weren't he?
378
00:15:05.440 --> 00:15:05.639
Yeah.
379
00:15:05.679 --> 00:15:07.679
So before I even walked down the aisle, I had
380
00:15:07.700 --> 00:15:11.320
people coming up to me, like my mum and my mother-in-law, saying,
381
00:15:11.750 --> 00:15:15.470
don't worry, Joe's a bit of a mess down there,
382
00:15:15.629 --> 00:15:16.710
but don't worry, he's happy.
383
00:15:17.049 --> 00:15:18.730
I was like, what the heck is going on?
384
00:15:19.549 --> 00:15:21.490
So, like, as I walked down the aisle, he was
385
00:15:21.529 --> 00:15:24.980
already sobbing. And I just– I'm not very cryy.
386
00:15:25.779 --> 00:15:26.360
I don't know why.
387
00:15:26.399 --> 00:15:28.480
I'm just not very cryy. And I thought, I'll be
388
00:15:28.539 --> 00:15:31.100
fine the whole day. It'll be absolutely fine. And then
389
00:15:31.279 --> 00:15:32.740
as soon as the boys were like, oh, yeah, we
390
00:15:32.759 --> 00:15:34.350
want to say something, we want to say something, I
391
00:15:34.389 --> 00:15:35.970
just could not hold it in.
392
00:15:36.029 --> 00:15:36.269
Yeah.
393
00:15:36.289 --> 00:15:38.649
Because they never say anything, especially teenage boys.
394
00:15:39.090 --> 00:15:42.230
They basically– don't ever tell you how they feel or
395
00:15:42.250 --> 00:15:43.429
what they think of anything.
396
00:15:43.610 --> 00:15:46.529
So it was really emotional to hear, like, what they
397
00:15:46.570 --> 00:15:47.210
had to say.
398
00:15:47.669 --> 00:15:48.909
And they were actually really nice.
399
00:15:48.960 --> 00:15:50.500
I was so surprised. You know, you go through that
400
00:15:50.539 --> 00:15:52.340
moment where you're like, oh, what are they going to say?
401
00:15:52.360 --> 00:15:53.639
What are they going to reveal here?
402
00:15:54.159 --> 00:15:56.090
Yeah, I've never seen teenage boys be so sort of
403
00:15:56.139 --> 00:15:58.789
emotional because... I was expecting them to go, yeah, and dad,
404
00:15:58.809 --> 00:16:02.149
you're a bit of a dick or like what teenage
405
00:16:02.169 --> 00:16:05.250
boys thinks funny, but don't realise it's a wedding. It
406
00:16:05.269 --> 00:16:07.750
must have been so lovely to hear, especially with a,
407
00:16:08.029 --> 00:16:10.370
I think the word's blended family now, like you're always
408
00:16:10.389 --> 00:16:11.929
worried if they're not going to get on and things
409
00:16:11.950 --> 00:16:13.860
like that, but that must have been lovely for you.
410
00:16:13.870 --> 00:16:14.470
It was so nice.
411
00:16:14.730 --> 00:16:15.669
It really was so nice.
412
00:16:15.730 --> 00:16:20.610
And I think as well, because Joe's very open at
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00:16:20.649 --> 00:16:23.230
home and he really like talks about his dad a
414
00:16:23.269 --> 00:16:26.490
lot and how much it affected him losing his dad.
415
00:16:27.110 --> 00:16:29.809
I think the boys, because we are a blended family
416
00:16:29.850 --> 00:16:33.580
and their lives necessarily and their parents haven't been everything
417
00:16:34.059 --> 00:16:35.600
that you see in the films.
418
00:16:36.000 --> 00:16:36.299
Yeah.
419
00:16:36.360 --> 00:16:39.860
I think they really appreciate what Joe's been through.
420
00:16:39.980 --> 00:16:42.139
And, you know, he's an amazing dad and an amazing
421
00:16:42.559 --> 00:16:44.500
father figure in our lives.
422
00:16:44.899 --> 00:16:47.200
And it was just so, like, I think.
423
00:16:47.059 --> 00:16:47.899
It was just really.
424
00:16:48.710 --> 00:16:52.710
Yeah, really shocking to see that.
425
00:16:51.669 --> 00:16:52.610
We're doing all right.
426
00:16:52.990 --> 00:16:54.909
They're actually quite happy.
427
00:16:55.940 --> 00:16:56.960
It was just like, phew.
428
00:16:57.259 --> 00:17:00.019
What's going on in the background, Stacey? We need an update.
429
00:17:00.179 --> 00:17:00.639
You know what?
430
00:17:00.700 --> 00:17:01.820
My baby has woken up.
431
00:17:02.019 --> 00:17:02.500
Oh, no.
432
00:17:02.779 --> 00:17:04.829
Rex thought I'd left him because I went to check
433
00:17:04.869 --> 00:17:06.490
on the baby. I'm so sorry.
434
00:17:06.509 --> 00:17:07.029
It's okay.
435
00:17:07.170 --> 00:17:07.670
It's all right.
436
00:17:08.410 --> 00:17:10.609
I think when we interviewed Joe, for some reason, he
437
00:17:10.650 --> 00:17:12.460
ended up recording it in the toilet. I don't even
438
00:17:12.500 --> 00:17:13.279
remember why.
439
00:17:13.299 --> 00:17:16.380
Oh, my God. Because he loves being on the toilet.
440
00:17:16.759 --> 00:17:17.839
That's his alone time.
441
00:17:18.279 --> 00:17:18.880
I'm not joking.
442
00:17:18.960 --> 00:17:20.539
Sometimes he'll go, I'm just going to the toilet, babe.
443
00:17:20.559 --> 00:17:21.059
Watch the kids.
444
00:17:21.099 --> 00:17:21.660
I go, all right, then.
445
00:17:21.720 --> 00:17:22.819
Two hours later, I'm like, you're.
446
00:17:22.720 --> 00:17:25.029
Still on that toilet, yeah?
447
00:17:25.069 --> 00:17:26.910
I ring him, I FaceTime him to see if he's
448
00:17:26.950 --> 00:17:27.690
actually sitting down.
449
00:17:27.750 --> 00:17:29.809
He'll fully strip, get naked, pretend he's going to the
450
00:17:29.829 --> 00:17:31.390
toilet just so he can spend a couple of hours.
451
00:17:31.269 --> 00:17:31.670
On his own.
452
00:17:31.930 --> 00:17:34.150
Is he a fully stripper for the toilet then? Fully naked?
453
00:17:34.170 --> 00:17:35.690
Fully stripper, he's so weird.
454
00:17:35.769 --> 00:17:38.559
Yeah, I remember him fully stripping off in the jungle.
455
00:17:38.579 --> 00:17:40.259
We used to share a dressing room and he'd leave
456
00:17:40.279 --> 00:17:42.779
all his clothes outside the toilet to go to the toilet.
457
00:17:42.819 --> 00:17:45.640
Some people do that. Some people are full strippers for
458
00:17:45.660 --> 00:17:45.920
the toilet.
459
00:17:45.940 --> 00:17:46.380
It's so bizarre.
460
00:17:47.019 --> 00:17:48.440
I mean, I wish I had the time to fully
461
00:17:48.460 --> 00:17:51.140
strip to go to the toilet.
462
00:17:55.039 --> 00:17:56.200
Hello, Guz Khan.
463
00:17:56.259 --> 00:17:56.720
How are you?
464
00:17:57.789 --> 00:18:00.710
He's great at intros. He really bigs you up. How
465
00:18:00.730 --> 00:18:01.289
you doing, mate?
466
00:18:01.710 --> 00:18:03.549
That's the best intro I ever heard in my life.
467
00:18:03.630 --> 00:18:04.150
I'm good, lads.
468
00:18:04.170 --> 00:18:04.769
What's going on?
469
00:18:05.630 --> 00:18:10.190
Well, we're just living back in England while you're in Hollywood, mate,
470
00:18:10.230 --> 00:18:12.089
in all those films and Netflix shows.
471
00:18:12.490 --> 00:18:13.819
Is that what you think my life is? Okay, let
472
00:18:13.839 --> 00:18:14.950
me explain to you where I'm right now. No, I
473
00:18:14.950 --> 00:18:26.049
don't actually. Welcome, Ramesh Ranganathan, to the Parenting Health Podcast.
474
00:18:26.529 --> 00:18:29.029
I've got my mic in front of me, sorry. I'm
475
00:18:29.049 --> 00:18:30.789
so excited because of something that's happened.
476
00:18:30.990 --> 00:18:35.589
Okay, well, first of all, Ramesh, lovely to meet you.
477
00:18:35.630 --> 00:18:38.009
You're a comedian, right? You're a comedian, yeah? Have you
478
00:18:38.049 --> 00:18:42.099
got kids? How many kids you got?
479
00:18:42.119 --> 00:18:43.799
No, let's move on to the main story.
480
00:18:43.990 --> 00:18:49.680
I thought cameras would be off! You're going to take
481
00:18:49.759 --> 00:18:51.140
a photo of this. So for listeners.
482
00:18:51.539 --> 00:18:52.880
Yeah, describe this for us, Josh.
483
00:18:53.119 --> 00:18:55.779
Well, Rob thought there'd be no cameras on. We leave
484
00:18:55.819 --> 00:18:58.059
it to the guest's discretion, and Romesh chose to have
485
00:18:58.079 --> 00:19:04.170
the cameras on. And Rob's wearing the vest. And, like,
486
00:19:04.430 --> 00:19:05.650
is it, like, aerated?
487
00:19:06.630 --> 00:19:07.730
Is that right?
488
00:19:07.769 --> 00:19:10.069
Rob looks like he's just been looking for catfish in
489
00:19:10.109 --> 00:19:11.769
the deep south.
490
00:19:11.809 --> 00:19:14.029
He looks like he's been fishing in Tennessee.
491
00:19:14.609 --> 00:19:17.490
Right, so what's happened is, right, lose away with the
492
00:19:17.529 --> 00:19:19.019
kids and I'm at home.
493
00:19:19.210 --> 00:19:21.359
And things gone wrong over the last 12 hours in
494
00:19:21.400 --> 00:19:21.920
your life?
495
00:19:22.380 --> 00:19:24.880
No, basically, oh God, it's horrible, isn't it? I'm going
496
00:19:24.900 --> 00:19:26.059
to pin one of you so I don't have to
497
00:19:26.099 --> 00:19:29.769
look at it. Basically, I've been doing exercise and I
498
00:19:29.809 --> 00:19:31.769
didn't think the cameras would be on, so I thought
499
00:19:31.829 --> 00:19:32.690
I could just wear the vest.
500
00:19:32.750 --> 00:19:34.890
However, I am starting to wear vests more.
501
00:19:35.289 --> 00:19:37.769
I wore this vest on a dog walk and I
502
00:19:37.789 --> 00:19:40.210
didn't realise I was wearing it until halfway through.
503
00:19:40.069 --> 00:19:42.400
The dog walk. Because you're so comfy in a vest.
504
00:19:42.940 --> 00:19:44.019
I was wearing the vest at home.
505
00:19:44.119 --> 00:19:45.799
I did some exercise and I thought, oh, the dog
506
00:19:45.819 --> 00:19:47.309
needs a walk. So I went out in it and
507
00:19:47.329 --> 00:19:49.359
I i was like i'm a man in the street
508
00:19:49.400 --> 00:19:52.180
of a vest on yeah yeah i i had.
509
00:19:52.079 --> 00:19:54.099
This where i but during the first during the first
510
00:19:54.140 --> 00:19:57.140
lockdown lockdown one i bought a pair of yoga pants
511
00:19:57.599 --> 00:19:59.480
yeah and i really liked them really enjoyed them found
512
00:19:59.500 --> 00:20:02.049
them comfortable And then I thought I wanted to wear
513
00:20:02.069 --> 00:20:05.190
these out. But I knew that Lisa would object. So
514
00:20:05.410 --> 00:20:07.089
I started wearing them around the house to get her
515
00:20:07.190 --> 00:20:08.069
used to the silhouette.
516
00:20:09.569 --> 00:20:11.089
What is a yoga pant? Is that big at the
517
00:20:11.130 --> 00:20:12.529
top and then comes in at the bottom?
518
00:20:12.950 --> 00:20:15.309
They're sort of like, I would describe, the closest thing
519
00:20:15.369 --> 00:20:16.410
is MC Hammer trousers.
520
00:20:16.470 --> 00:20:17.910
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
521
00:20:18.490 --> 00:20:21.059
So proper drop crotch. The drop crotch is around the
522
00:20:21.099 --> 00:20:23.779
shin somewhere. So I'd worn them around the house and
523
00:20:23.799 --> 00:20:25.559
Lisa had stopped sort of commenting on them.
524
00:20:25.579 --> 00:20:26.779
And I thought, okay, we're ready now.
525
00:20:27.640 --> 00:20:29.819
And then one day we're about to go on the
526
00:20:29.859 --> 00:20:31.420
school run, and I came down the stairs in the
527
00:20:31.440 --> 00:20:33.200
yoga pants, and she just stopped what she was doing.
528
00:20:33.220 --> 00:20:35.900
She's in the middle of getting the kids ready, right?
529
00:20:36.000 --> 00:20:37.740
Three boys getting them ready, right?
530
00:20:37.779 --> 00:20:40.559
She stopped. So you've got three children, is that correct? Yeah,
531
00:20:40.599 --> 00:20:44.500
three children. Just sort of pretend it's a podcast about kids.
532
00:20:44.960 --> 00:20:47.359
Let's tie it to the podcast a little bit. And
533
00:20:47.539 --> 00:20:49.299
she just looked at me and she just went, what
534
00:20:49.640 --> 00:20:51.000
the fuck are you doing?
535
00:20:51.720 --> 00:20:52.569
In front of the kids.
536
00:20:53.119 --> 00:20:53.460
Yeah. Yeah.
537
00:20:56.789 --> 00:20:59.509
Because I think the need to not swear in front
538
00:20:59.529 --> 00:21:01.690
of the children is overridden by the need to stop
539
00:21:01.710 --> 00:21:04.269
your husband.
540
00:21:04.309 --> 00:21:06.589
Yeah, that's more of a pressing... If they're crossing a
541
00:21:06.630 --> 00:21:08.910
road of eight, it's, fucking stop! You're allowed to swear
542
00:21:08.930 --> 00:21:09.549
at your kids then.
543
00:21:09.609 --> 00:21:11.890
And then suddenly, oh, Dad's doing hammer time across the
544
00:21:11.910 --> 00:21:13.230
zebra crossing.
545
00:21:13.710 --> 00:21:17.170
This may be a bit gratuitous, but what was the penis...
546
00:21:17.619 --> 00:21:20.519
on show you know sometimes when you have a when
547
00:21:20.539 --> 00:21:22.319
you have a plaster that comes around in a pair
548
00:21:22.339 --> 00:21:26.009
of like lightweight light gray jogging bottoms and it's basically
549
00:21:26.029 --> 00:21:28.329
they walk in the room helmet first and then the
550
00:21:28.390 --> 00:21:30.970
rest of their body follows what's what was that what
551
00:21:30.990 --> 00:21:33.069
does that happen with the yoga pant because they're very thin.
552
00:21:33.369 --> 00:21:37.190
I would describe my look as actually eunuch where they're
553
00:21:37.210 --> 00:21:37.910
so baggy.
554
00:21:39.109 --> 00:21:40.349
It looks like I'm just smoothed out.
555
00:21:40.410 --> 00:21:42.609
Were you doing yoga or did you just like the style?
556
00:21:43.150 --> 00:21:46.329
No, it's just that, you know, like when we weren't
557
00:21:46.390 --> 00:21:48.650
going out and so you started just experimenting with things
558
00:21:48.670 --> 00:21:51.019
that are more comfortable because jeans became difficult to put
559
00:21:51.059 --> 00:21:51.910
back on, didn't they?
560
00:21:52.420 --> 00:21:53.640
I'm still struggling with jeans.
561
00:21:54.250 --> 00:21:56.549
Yeah, so I sort of got into joggers and then
562
00:21:56.609 --> 00:21:58.450
I was like, I got into joggers, edgy.
563
00:21:59.630 --> 00:22:01.589
Josh never had a pair. Josh never had a pair
564
00:22:01.609 --> 00:22:03.259
until we started doing this podcast.
565
00:22:03.339 --> 00:22:05.099
Yeah, I didn't have a pair. I just couldn't deal
566
00:22:05.119 --> 00:22:07.299
with it. It feels like admitting defeat.
567
00:22:07.400 --> 00:22:09.680
He used to sit downstairs at night in jeans, Romesh.
568
00:22:09.980 --> 00:22:12.599
I mean, that is... It's sad, isn't it? No wonder
569
00:22:12.640 --> 00:22:16.269
your stress levels are through the roof. I wonder why
570
00:22:16.309 --> 00:22:17.289
he's got gut rot.
571
00:22:17.309 --> 00:22:19.150
No, it's because I'm going straight out after this. I
572
00:22:19.609 --> 00:22:21.779
had to dress to go out after this.
573
00:22:21.799 --> 00:22:22.539
We're all busy, Josh.
574
00:22:22.559 --> 00:22:24.440
Well, no, Rob isn't.
575
00:22:24.460 --> 00:22:25.000
Look at him.
576
00:22:25.059 --> 00:22:27.240
He's sat in a fucking vest on his own in
577
00:22:27.259 --> 00:22:27.720
his house.
578
00:22:27.859 --> 00:22:29.859
I'm tarmacking. I'm tarmacking at 12.
579
00:22:29.859 --> 00:22:33.119
But anyway, I was wearing joggers, and I found them
580
00:22:33.140 --> 00:22:35.079
really comfortable, and I thought, hold on, I've moved from
581
00:22:35.119 --> 00:22:38.779
jeans to these, and that's been a real revelation. What
582
00:22:38.819 --> 00:22:40.180
if there's a level beyond this?
583
00:22:40.839 --> 00:22:42.690
Do you know what I mean? And so I.
584
00:22:43.190 --> 00:22:45.109
I was looking up like, I don't know why I
585
00:22:45.130 --> 00:22:45.930
went for yoga pants.
586
00:22:46.049 --> 00:22:46.349
Yeah.
587
00:22:46.369 --> 00:22:49.160
So anyway, look, long story short, they're very comfortable and
588
00:22:49.200 --> 00:22:50.920
I love wearing them. And every now and again, I
589
00:22:50.940 --> 00:22:51.279
go out.
590
00:22:51.700 --> 00:22:53.579
Well, I nearly went to the school run in this
591
00:22:53.640 --> 00:22:55.849
vest and then Lou stopped me like that as well.
592
00:22:55.880 --> 00:22:58.190
But I knew that was bad. I wouldn't go out
593
00:22:58.230 --> 00:23:00.009
for the day in it. I'd wear it like to
594
00:23:00.069 --> 00:23:01.309
and from the pool on holiday.
595
00:23:01.710 --> 00:23:02.430
Yeah, I think that's acceptable.
596
00:23:02.450 --> 00:23:03.250
Is that okay? That's fine.
597
00:23:03.329 --> 00:23:05.910
But the school run I know is not okay. And also,
598
00:23:05.930 --> 00:23:08.170
I haven't really got the arms for it, which is quite...
599
00:23:08.170 --> 00:23:09.190
I think you have, actually.
600
00:23:09.279 --> 00:23:11.940
No, I haven't got arms that look like muscly arms,
601
00:23:11.980 --> 00:23:14.460
like everyone look at my arms. They just don't look bad.
602
00:23:15.299 --> 00:23:17.279
No, but what's good about your arms is it doesn't
603
00:23:17.299 --> 00:23:19.119
look like you're wearing a vest to show off your arms.
604
00:23:19.279 --> 00:23:20.480
But what are you saying? You're saying that I'm not
605
00:23:20.500 --> 00:23:21.359
showing off my arms, Josh.
606
00:23:21.440 --> 00:23:24.240
Well, what I'm saying is no one's going, oh, Rob's
607
00:23:24.279 --> 00:23:25.980
got ripped and now he's wearing a vest.
608
00:23:25.740 --> 00:23:29.940
To show off. Okay. They're not saying that. They're not
609
00:23:29.960 --> 00:23:30.440
saying that.
610
00:23:30.460 --> 00:23:30.890
Okay, right.
611
00:23:31.089 --> 00:23:33.809
Just wanted to double check. In case they were.
612
00:23:34.089 --> 00:23:36.690
If you logged on here and said to me, oh, guys,
613
00:23:37.269 --> 00:23:39.150
I've got a Halloween party after this.
614
00:23:39.190 --> 00:23:44.500
I'm going as early Eminem. I would believe you. But yeah,
615
00:23:44.539 --> 00:23:45.420
so that's the vest.
616
00:23:46.160 --> 00:23:48.220
So yeah, and I know I can't wear this on
617
00:23:48.240 --> 00:23:49.640
a school run, but I just forget I've got it
618
00:23:49.700 --> 00:23:50.180
on sometimes.
619
00:23:50.200 --> 00:23:52.480
It's just so comfy. It feels so free. I like
620
00:23:52.500 --> 00:23:54.559
the wind in my armpits, I realise.
621
00:23:54.579 --> 00:23:56.660
Do you worry about lifting your arms up when people
622
00:23:56.680 --> 00:23:57.519
are seeing your armpits?
623
00:23:57.920 --> 00:23:59.119
No, why would I do that? It's not got a
624
00:23:59.160 --> 00:24:00.539
swastika tattoo or something.
625
00:24:00.640 --> 00:24:02.410
No, but it's just a bit weird, isn't it?
626
00:24:02.539 --> 00:24:04.500
Yeah, but I wouldn't go, hi, how's it going? And
627
00:24:04.539 --> 00:24:05.119
lift them up.
628
00:24:05.500 --> 00:24:07.279
Yeah, how often are you lifting your arms on a
629
00:24:07.299 --> 00:24:07.799
daily basis?
630
00:24:07.940 --> 00:24:08.240
Me?
631
00:24:08.279 --> 00:24:10.880
Josh does a school run as a hostage.
632
00:24:11.220 --> 00:24:14.190
Huzzah! It's time for school!
633
00:24:14.970 --> 00:24:17.210
I'm sorry, I forgot that you went around your day
634
00:24:17.250 --> 00:24:20.589
never lifting your arms above 90 degrees, doing the big
635
00:24:20.650 --> 00:24:22.849
shop and refusing to get anything off above the third shelf.
636
00:24:22.910 --> 00:24:23.930
Have you seen Joshy?
637
00:24:23.950 --> 00:24:26.259
Have you seen Joshy? Absolute lunacy. Lifting his arms all
638
00:24:26.319 --> 00:24:26.859
over the place.
639
00:24:27.539 --> 00:24:29.259
What a maverick.
640
00:24:29.299 --> 00:24:36.559
Car wash is like that big inflatable thing. Rachel Parris,
641
00:24:36.599 --> 00:24:39.140
welcome to the show. Hello.
642
00:24:39.509 --> 00:24:40.029
How are you?
643
00:24:40.450 --> 00:24:41.970
I'm fine, thank you, yeah.
644
00:24:42.470 --> 00:24:42.769
Good.
645
00:24:42.890 --> 00:24:47.029
For a show called Parenting Hell, I am child-free today.
646
00:24:47.049 --> 00:24:48.329
I thought you.
647
00:24:48.390 --> 00:24:50.170
Were going to say completely. I was going to go,
648
00:24:50.190 --> 00:24:51.440
this is going to be a long interview.
649
00:24:51.640 --> 00:24:54.859
Yeah, we've put the child up for adoption, actually. It's
650
00:24:55.279 --> 00:24:57.069
really quite a lot of hassle, we found out.
651
00:24:57.079 --> 00:24:58.259
We just changed our minds.
652
00:24:58.279 --> 00:25:01.500
We were just tired in the morning, so it was
653
00:25:01.539 --> 00:25:02.079
not worth it.
654
00:25:02.220 --> 00:25:04.480
And we're not tired now. So it actually has worked
655
00:25:04.539 --> 00:25:06.859
out really well. We've still got the photos.
656
00:25:07.119 --> 00:25:10.240
Rachel, how old is your baby?
657
00:25:10.670 --> 00:25:14.670
He is 14 months, 15 months.
658
00:25:15.130 --> 00:25:17.130
Is that still a baby?
659
00:25:17.230 --> 00:25:17.910
Is that a toddler?
660
00:25:18.569 --> 00:25:21.339
Well, he's walking now, so I think officially it's a toddler.
661
00:25:21.420 --> 00:25:21.640
Yes.
662
00:25:21.700 --> 00:25:22.539
Officially a toddler.
663
00:25:22.799 --> 00:25:26.759
But I think it's perfectly normal that I still try
664
00:25:26.799 --> 00:25:30.759
and hold him horizontally and sway him and sing to
665
00:25:30.799 --> 00:25:32.779
him a song that goes, you're still my baby, you're
666
00:25:32.799 --> 00:25:34.119
still my baby. Yeah.
667
00:25:34.289 --> 00:25:37.529
That's normal, isn't it? I think that's absolutely fine, not
668
00:25:37.549 --> 00:25:39.029
problematic at all. Yeah.
669
00:25:40.769 --> 00:25:43.009
I think once he's talking, maybe you need to knock
670
00:25:43.029 --> 00:25:43.579
that on the head.
671
00:25:45.500 --> 00:25:49.549
My mum still does that with my youngest brother. He's 34.
672
00:25:49.549 --> 00:25:51.690
And Rachel, for people that don't know, you're married to
673
00:25:51.769 --> 00:25:55.009
Marcus Brigstock, a comedian that we all know as well.
674
00:25:55.029 --> 00:25:57.769
That's correct. And just to clarify, our baby is with him,
675
00:25:58.029 --> 00:25:59.430
not just away.
676
00:26:00.019 --> 00:26:00.779
Yeah.
677
00:26:00.799 --> 00:26:03.299
So that's your baby together. And he's got children from
678
00:26:03.339 --> 00:26:06.440
a previous relationship. So are you step mum? Is that
679
00:26:06.519 --> 00:26:06.859
a thing?
680
00:26:07.000 --> 00:26:07.460
I am.
681
00:26:07.519 --> 00:26:10.700
Yeah, I'm step mum to two teenagers. Well, I say teenagers.
682
00:26:10.759 --> 00:26:14.039
One of them's 20. So the other one's about to
683
00:26:14.059 --> 00:26:14.930
turn 18.
684
00:26:14.930 --> 00:26:19.430
So let's start with the baby first. The toddler. The toddler, sorry.
685
00:26:19.450 --> 00:26:21.349
He's still my baby.
686
00:26:23.450 --> 00:26:25.890
How involved are you, I suppose, as the stepmum role?
687
00:26:25.910 --> 00:26:27.670
Because it's sort of a weird sort of thing to
688
00:26:27.710 --> 00:26:29.210
be when they're so old now.
689
00:26:29.650 --> 00:26:30.710
Yeah, so I.
690
00:26:31.009 --> 00:26:35.180
Came into their lives when they were 13 and 15.
691
00:26:35.180 --> 00:26:35.819
Perfect age.
692
00:26:36.180 --> 00:26:36.799
I bet they love that.
693
00:26:36.819 --> 00:26:39.200
I bet you love that. Just staring at each other
694
00:26:39.299 --> 00:26:39.859
all awkward.
695
00:26:39.880 --> 00:26:42.779
Yeah, I'm sure they were absolutely over the moon. Do
696
00:26:43.779 --> 00:26:44.460
you know what?
697
00:26:44.720 --> 00:26:46.839
They were really good. I think it was hard.
698
00:26:46.680 --> 00:26:50.250
For them and hard for all of us because blended
699
00:26:50.289 --> 00:26:55.309
families are hard. But actually, you know, you read about teenage...
700
00:26:55.670 --> 00:26:58.529
kids and especially step kids who have every reason to
701
00:26:58.609 --> 00:27:01.609
act out actually and you know they've they've just been
702
00:27:01.849 --> 00:27:03.930
pretty amazing to be honest and i i mean it's
703
00:27:03.950 --> 00:27:07.720
different because i was never able to truly mother them
704
00:27:08.019 --> 00:27:09.700
if you know what i mean you know they've got
705
00:27:09.720 --> 00:27:12.799
a fantastic mum and that was never my job.
706
00:27:12.839 --> 00:27:17.920
You came in early doors putting some really harsh rules things.
707
00:27:16.920 --> 00:27:19.349
Are gonna change around here.
708
00:27:20.390 --> 00:27:24.069
It's a new set of rules welcome to paris town.
709
00:27:25.819 --> 00:27:27.680
But I think they get a bit of a bad rep, teenagers.
710
00:27:27.720 --> 00:27:29.680
I don't feel like they're as bad as what everyone's
711
00:27:29.740 --> 00:27:31.400
anxiety tells you they're going to be, because I think
712
00:27:31.420 --> 00:27:32.279
that's the big worry, isn't it?
713
00:27:32.319 --> 00:27:34.880
Everyone goes, oh, you wait. You wait till they're teenagers.
714
00:27:34.900 --> 00:27:36.509
But I think a lot of teenagers are just quite
715
00:27:36.619 --> 00:27:40.190
quiet and polite.
716
00:27:40.190 --> 00:27:40.450
100%.
717
00:27:40.450 --> 00:27:42.210
I think the one thing with teenagers is, no matter
718
00:27:42.269 --> 00:27:46.109
how socially aware and politically interested they are and all
719
00:27:46.150 --> 00:27:48.430
that kind of thing, I think teenagers are quite inward-looking.
720
00:27:49.049 --> 00:27:52.210
And I think from that comes a lot of the
721
00:27:52.250 --> 00:27:54.730
things that people moan about, which is... being sort of
722
00:27:54.789 --> 00:28:01.549
tormented souls. Hence, both of my stepkids did GCSE drama
723
00:28:02.029 --> 00:28:05.109
and their drama pieces. And all of their friends throughout
724
00:28:05.130 --> 00:28:10.410
the school's drama pieces were about, you know, murder, suicide,
725
00:28:10.599 --> 00:28:14.700
like huge topics for teenagers.
726
00:28:14.740 --> 00:28:16.819
Yeah, it's changed a lot since I was a teenager.
727
00:28:16.839 --> 00:28:19.079
I mean, panini sticker albums and breasts.
728
00:28:19.119 --> 00:28:22.079
Do you want to know what my GCSE drama was?
729
00:28:22.240 --> 00:28:22.500
I do.
730
00:28:22.539 --> 00:28:26.440
My GCSE drama piece was I was a blinded soldier
731
00:28:26.460 --> 00:28:28.460
in a World War I hospital.
732
00:28:28.579 --> 00:28:29.099
Really?
733
00:28:29.460 --> 00:28:33.440
And then we came up with this ourselves. And the
734
00:28:34.180 --> 00:28:37.809
guy next to me would tell me stories about this
735
00:28:37.869 --> 00:28:40.029
woman that walked past the window. Where's this going, Josh?
736
00:28:40.329 --> 00:28:42.170
I'm just telling you what my GCSE drama piece was.
737
00:28:42.210 --> 00:28:44.609
At the moment, you've spoken more about this than Rachel's
738
00:28:44.630 --> 00:28:46.029
spoken about her kid.
739
00:28:46.049 --> 00:28:48.630
No, I need more context. Did you write this?
740
00:28:48.650 --> 00:28:51.900
Was it devised? Josh, tell us about your drama GCSE.
741
00:28:51.980 --> 00:28:52.450
Well, I.
742
00:28:53.339 --> 00:28:54.599
We wrote it as a group, but it was mainly
743
00:28:54.640 --> 00:28:56.160
written by Harry Long, who went on to have a
744
00:28:56.180 --> 00:28:57.200
small part in Doc Martin.
745
00:28:57.720 --> 00:28:59.819
Okay, wow. All right.
746
00:28:59.920 --> 00:29:02.710
Yeah, so anyway, I was blinded, and there was a
747
00:29:02.930 --> 00:29:04.910
woman that walked past the window that the other soldier
748
00:29:04.930 --> 00:29:07.670
would tell me about, and she was kind of my hope.
749
00:29:08.289 --> 00:29:11.089
You know, I'm a fantasy woman, and then at the end,
750
00:29:11.490 --> 00:29:14.059
the other soldier died, a new soldier goes into the bed,
751
00:29:14.759 --> 00:29:17.319
and I ask him whether the woman's walking past the window,
752
00:29:17.339 --> 00:29:17.880
and he.
753
00:29:17.859 --> 00:29:22.210
Says, Wow, that's good.
754
00:29:22.230 --> 00:29:23.390
Hair's on the back seat.
755
00:29:23.980 --> 00:29:24.859
Oh, my God.
756
00:29:24.880 --> 00:29:26.579
I thought you were going to say there's no woman.
757
00:29:26.599 --> 00:29:27.140
No.
758
00:29:27.160 --> 00:29:28.039
There's no window.
759
00:29:28.099 --> 00:29:29.339
That's even deeper.
760
00:29:30.160 --> 00:29:32.039
I think the line was, it's a brick wall.
761
00:29:32.900 --> 00:29:34.170
Oh, right. That's not as gently done.
762
00:29:34.200 --> 00:29:34.809
No, it's good, actually.
763
00:29:34.829 --> 00:29:36.109
I think you've got better delivery now.
764
00:29:36.450 --> 00:29:38.049
It's a lot to do with the structural integrity of
765
00:29:38.069 --> 00:29:39.869
the building than I thought.
766
00:29:40.200 --> 00:29:42.160
Yeah. Now I just feel like, why are we putting
767
00:29:42.180 --> 00:29:46.690
wounded soldiers in rooms with no windows? It doesn't need
768
00:29:46.730 --> 00:29:47.589
a window. Oh, he is blind.
769
00:29:47.609 --> 00:29:48.470
Yeah, he's like, right.
770
00:29:48.509 --> 00:29:51.210
Yeah, but they're brave. They're brave.
771
00:29:51.269 --> 00:29:53.490
Oh, I hear what you're saying, Josh. Blind people don't
772
00:29:53.509 --> 00:29:54.009
need windows.
773
00:29:54.049 --> 00:29:54.400
No, no, no.
774
00:29:55.880 --> 00:29:57.680
You've made that very clear.
775
00:29:57.740 --> 00:29:58.380
Lock them up.
776
00:29:58.700 --> 00:29:59.200
Oh, God.
777
00:29:59.339 --> 00:30:03.269
Oh, God. Let's go back to your toddler, baby. Sorry,
778
00:30:03.289 --> 00:30:06.029
you're talking about your stepkids' drama clock.
779
00:30:06.329 --> 00:30:06.930
Oh, yeah.
780
00:30:07.029 --> 00:30:09.829
So I just think that there's a weird mixture, which
781
00:30:09.890 --> 00:30:12.509
is this generation, to be fair, have had to put
782
00:30:12.529 --> 00:30:13.950
up with a hell of a lot already.
783
00:30:13.970 --> 00:30:16.410
You know, they've been brought up in a big recession.
784
00:30:16.769 --> 00:30:20.230
They've had COVID, NHS not at all equipped to cope
785
00:30:20.269 --> 00:30:23.029
with their mental health struggles. So I do feel.
786
00:30:23.170 --> 00:30:24.349
And they have to have social media.
787
00:30:24.690 --> 00:30:25.839
Yeah, social media.
788
00:30:25.880 --> 00:30:28.640
Yeah, they have social media, and bullying online.
789
00:30:28.880 --> 00:30:31.039
And some of them haven't got pubes yet, and that's
790
00:30:31.079 --> 00:30:33.119
really going to be getting in their head.
791
00:30:33.259 --> 00:30:34.319
Yeah. All the old pubies.
792
00:30:34.400 --> 00:30:36.200
Are you going back to your teenage years?
793
00:30:36.220 --> 00:30:38.240
I was desperate for pubes, but that's another story, Rachel.
794
00:30:38.400 --> 00:30:39.950
I've been shaving my armpits, but that's separate.
795
00:30:39.970 --> 00:30:40.230
Have you?
796
00:30:40.309 --> 00:30:40.650
Yeah, yeah.
797
00:30:40.930 --> 00:30:41.490
What are you doing?
798
00:30:41.690 --> 00:30:44.089
Swimming? What am I doing? I just don't like having
799
00:30:44.150 --> 00:30:44.490
airy armpits.
800
00:30:44.529 --> 00:30:45.329
Adam Peaty?
801
00:30:45.509 --> 00:30:46.970
Well, no, I just think, why do I need long,
802
00:30:47.190 --> 00:30:48.630
airy bits out of my arms? I just get all
803
00:30:48.650 --> 00:30:50.470
sweaty and horrible. I might as well keep them short.
804
00:30:50.910 --> 00:30:51.579
How long is it?
805
00:30:51.960 --> 00:30:55.119
Well, I'd say when they're unleashed, are you looking at.
806
00:30:55.069 --> 00:30:55.809
Three to four inches?
807
00:30:57.410 --> 00:30:58.670
That is very long.
808
00:30:58.690 --> 00:31:00.029
They're all blonde. So it looks like I've got a
809
00:31:00.029 --> 00:31:02.569
tiny woman in my arm and it's just their hair
810
00:31:02.630 --> 00:31:03.019
coming out.
811
00:31:04.410 --> 00:31:04.670
Sorry.
812
00:31:04.690 --> 00:31:10.519
My favourite bit of the interview is the shock in
813
00:31:10.559 --> 00:31:11.380
Rachel's voice.
814
00:31:11.460 --> 00:31:12.259
How long is it?
815
00:31:13.220 --> 00:31:15.619
I think that, well, I was about to dig in
816
00:31:15.680 --> 00:31:18.180
deep about pubic hair, but I think, you know, there's
817
00:31:18.220 --> 00:31:21.099
a happy medium, isn't there? I think it should be
818
00:31:21.700 --> 00:31:23.920
gender neutral. Just keep it trim.
819
00:31:24.200 --> 00:31:26.000
Yeah, the thing is, I think you don't want it
820
00:31:26.039 --> 00:31:28.829
completely bald because a man's penis looks like a mole rat.
821
00:31:29.140 --> 00:31:30.920
So what you want is just a nice splatter in
822
00:31:30.960 --> 00:31:33.720
a pubic hair, but not a big bush that's overwhelming
823
00:31:33.740 --> 00:31:34.539
for everyone involved.
824
00:31:34.700 --> 00:31:35.299
There we go.
825
00:31:36.319 --> 00:31:37.839
And I will not be moved on that.
826
00:31:38.420 --> 00:31:41.589
You know, and women's bits don't look like a mole rat,
827
00:31:41.660 --> 00:31:43.309
but I sort of think you still want to.
828
00:31:43.269 --> 00:31:44.970
Look like a human, don't you?
829
00:31:45.329 --> 00:31:50.589
Yeah, yeah, yeah. But yeah, so what was their drama pieces?
830
00:31:50.630 --> 00:31:53.549
This is the most digressing we've ever done in my life.
831
00:31:55.529 --> 00:31:57.890
But I just can't be clear enough. There wasn't a window.
832
00:31:58.329 --> 00:32:00.539
Picture that right there was no window in this war
833
00:32:00.579 --> 00:32:01.500
veterans hospital.
834
00:32:01.220 --> 00:32:03.029
I'm absolutely blown away by that I'm not going to
835
00:32:03.049 --> 00:32:03.809
sleep tonight.
836
00:32:05.009 --> 00:32:07.849
So that's a good question. Are you sleeping? How's your
837
00:32:07.869 --> 00:32:08.509
child's sleep?
838
00:32:08.609 --> 00:32:11.309
We have some official story about the drama GCSE that.
839
00:32:11.250 --> 00:32:12.910
Your stepkids did.
840
00:32:12.990 --> 00:32:15.190
Just that I think that was probably the most sort
841
00:32:15.269 --> 00:32:20.450
of cliche teenage thing of everyone in their school did
842
00:32:20.490 --> 00:32:26.849
these incredibly profound, incredibly serious, depressing topics, which I think
843
00:32:27.049 --> 00:32:30.170
mostly their lives hadn't been touched by. But also that
844
00:32:30.230 --> 00:32:32.329
kind of inward looking can extend to just, you know,
845
00:32:32.509 --> 00:32:35.539
not being great at washing up and stuff like that,
846
00:32:35.910 --> 00:32:39.420
which is the more traditional thing. But no, I'm very
847
00:32:39.460 --> 00:32:44.619
lucky that they're both brilliant. So Marcus, before he asked
848
00:32:44.640 --> 00:32:48.220
me to marry him, he obviously didn't ask my dad
849
00:32:48.259 --> 00:32:50.200
because I'd have hated that and told him off for
850
00:32:50.220 --> 00:32:51.000
being patriarchal.
851
00:32:51.480 --> 00:32:53.240
He asked his kids for permission.
852
00:32:53.259 --> 00:32:54.359
He asked his kids for permission?
853
00:32:54.380 --> 00:32:55.299
Oh, did he?
854
00:32:55.319 --> 00:32:55.519
Yeah.
855
00:32:55.539 --> 00:32:56.039
Oh, that's nice.
856
00:32:56.799 --> 00:32:59.400
And, you know, they said they're really funny kids. And
857
00:32:59.519 --> 00:33:02.240
they said, yes, crucially.
858
00:33:02.900 --> 00:33:03.869
But they said, like.
859
00:33:05.319 --> 00:33:09.049
I think Alfie said something like, oh, you didn't need
860
00:33:09.089 --> 00:33:12.529
to worry. We're far too naive to realise how this
861
00:33:12.549 --> 00:33:17.730
will impact us in the future. And Em said, oh,
862
00:33:17.769 --> 00:33:18.839
my dad's all grown up.
863
00:33:19.759 --> 00:33:22.599
Oh, that's nice. So he didn't ask your dad. So
864
00:33:22.640 --> 00:33:24.359
did your dad walk you down the aisle, Rachel?
865
00:33:24.500 --> 00:33:28.000
Yeah, he did, actually, which was quite a traditional thing.
866
00:33:28.500 --> 00:33:30.099
traditional gesture because.
867
00:33:29.900 --> 00:33:31.619
That's because when you look at that that is they
868
00:33:31.640 --> 00:33:33.680
literally giving you away it feels like sort of like
869
00:33:33.720 --> 00:33:35.980
they're taking their daughter to a market don't they because
870
00:33:36.000 --> 00:33:38.059
that's what lou was saying that about because i and
871
00:33:38.220 --> 00:33:40.380
it's sort of a weird tradition isn't it that you're
872
00:33:40.400 --> 00:33:42.220
giving away but it is nice but it.
873
00:33:42.299 --> 00:33:43.539
Is the that's it isn't it.
874
00:33:43.519 --> 00:33:45.480
It's a nice tradition but it is actually if you
875
00:33:45.519 --> 00:33:47.359
look at it like the same with asking for permission
876
00:33:47.380 --> 00:33:48.539
it is a bit like can.
877
00:33:48.519 --> 00:33:52.019
I have a cheers mate You're going to pass her on? Yeah,
878
00:33:52.059 --> 00:33:54.789
drop her off, will you, down the aisle? Sunday at
879
00:33:54.910 --> 00:33:55.369
about 11.
880
00:33:55.369 --> 00:33:56.210
Knock a tenner off.
881
00:33:56.930 --> 00:33:57.930
Exactly.
882
00:33:57.950 --> 00:34:00.470
Let's honestly ask the kids, because everyone's got to be
883
00:34:00.509 --> 00:34:03.089
on board, haven't they? Especially when it's a new sort
884
00:34:03.109 --> 00:34:05.779
of marriage on the cards. You don't want that drama
885
00:34:05.799 --> 00:34:06.259
at a wedding.
886
00:34:06.279 --> 00:34:07.240
Well, that's it, yeah.
887
00:34:07.500 --> 00:34:07.980
Yeah, exactly.
888
00:34:08.019 --> 00:34:11.500
With the stepfamily, it's been really good for me. I
889
00:34:11.539 --> 00:34:13.860
was the youngest child yet, and I think that I
890
00:34:14.079 --> 00:34:16.219
kind of got my own way a fair bit when
891
00:34:16.260 --> 00:34:19.090
I was growing up. And I think being part of
892
00:34:19.139 --> 00:34:21.829
a blended family is very much kind of realising it's,
893
00:34:22.150 --> 00:34:24.510
and I really hate to even say these words, but
894
00:34:24.789 --> 00:34:25.909
it's not all about me.
895
00:34:26.989 --> 00:34:30.269
Also two comedians married as well.
896
00:34:30.309 --> 00:34:31.889
There's a lot of who's it about.
897
00:34:32.130 --> 00:34:38.010
That's been really hard to take. Still learning, still learning that.
898
00:34:41.989 --> 00:34:45.110
Hello, Alicia Dixon. Welcome to the podcast. We're very excited
899
00:34:45.130 --> 00:34:45.829
to have you on, Alicia.
900
00:34:46.409 --> 00:34:47.389
Hello, how are you?
901
00:34:47.409 --> 00:34:50.250
We're good, aren't we, Josh? You all right? Yeah, very excited.
902
00:34:50.389 --> 00:34:53.869
We should always start with, what is your situation, Alicia,
903
00:34:54.010 --> 00:34:56.289
at home? What's the kids' situation?
904
00:34:56.309 --> 00:34:59.409
Well, I've got a nine-year-old who's downstairs on the sofa
905
00:34:59.469 --> 00:35:01.050
poorly right now.
906
00:35:01.070 --> 00:35:01.130
Oh.
907
00:35:01.630 --> 00:35:05.489
And a three-year-old who is at nursery.
908
00:35:05.510 --> 00:35:05.570
Oh.
909
00:35:06.889 --> 00:35:10.409
Okay, that took a bit too long, Alicia. I forgot
910
00:35:10.449 --> 00:35:11.889
where she was.
911
00:35:11.969 --> 00:35:14.219
And I have a lovely partner called Azuka.
912
00:35:14.480 --> 00:35:14.900
Nine and three.
913
00:35:14.920 --> 00:35:16.719
That's quite a difficult gap, isn't it, a little bit?
914
00:35:16.739 --> 00:35:19.360
Because my brother was six years older than me. The
915
00:35:19.400 --> 00:35:22.320
nine-year-old will want to be doing almost nearly teenager-y things,
916
00:35:22.360 --> 00:35:23.780
and then the three-year-old's a bit younger.
917
00:35:24.199 --> 00:35:25.780
How's that playing out? Do they play well?
918
00:35:26.139 --> 00:35:28.780
Well, I thought that leaving the gap was smart, right?
919
00:35:28.820 --> 00:35:32.000
Because in my mind, I thought, okay, if by the
920
00:35:32.059 --> 00:35:34.139
time I have the second child, the first one will
921
00:35:34.159 --> 00:35:36.760
be able to assist me. She can fetch the nappies.
922
00:35:36.820 --> 00:35:38.960
She can do all of, you know, I'll give her
923
00:35:39.000 --> 00:35:42.440
a job. But my nine-year-old likes to be pampered. So
924
00:35:42.480 --> 00:35:46.139
that kind of backfired. And also I thought, oh, the
925
00:35:46.179 --> 00:35:49.150
nine-year-old will be more motherly and, you know, big sister,
926
00:35:49.190 --> 00:35:52.389
look after her younger sister. They argue a lot. so
927
00:35:52.750 --> 00:35:55.369
yeah like there's a lot of clashing between them but
928
00:35:55.409 --> 00:35:58.420
when they're great as you know they are amazing but
929
00:35:58.460 --> 00:36:00.860
they have those moments where they they go at it
930
00:36:00.920 --> 00:36:02.199
and I just have to leave the room and let
931
00:36:02.239 --> 00:36:03.579
them figure it out between them.
932
00:36:05.440 --> 00:36:08.519
Walk away and let them someone said to me.
933
00:36:08.469 --> 00:36:10.130
When I because I'm always trying to you know used
934
00:36:10.150 --> 00:36:11.909
to I used to intervene quite a lot and then
935
00:36:11.929 --> 00:36:13.949
when we were away at Christmas someone said to me
936
00:36:13.969 --> 00:36:15.909
you know you know their kids had grown up and
937
00:36:15.929 --> 00:36:17.750
they said you know what when they argue just let
938
00:36:17.769 --> 00:36:20.210
them get on with it just let them figure it
939
00:36:20.449 --> 00:36:22.760
out between them so that's what I've started doing that's
940
00:36:22.780 --> 00:36:24.199
good away.
941
00:36:24.219 --> 00:36:26.679
Yeah well if it turns a physical though surely the
942
00:36:26.719 --> 00:36:29.880
nine-year-old's got the upper hand which with my three-year-old it does.
943
00:36:29.739 --> 00:36:34.829
Sometimes Come in, the three-year-old's holding down the nine-year-old.
944
00:36:35.150 --> 00:36:36.250
Even turns on me.
945
00:36:36.269 --> 00:36:38.289
So, yeah.
946
00:36:38.349 --> 00:36:40.829
The younger one rules the house, period.
947
00:36:40.909 --> 00:36:41.489
Really?
948
00:36:41.510 --> 00:36:42.610
Okay.
949
00:36:42.690 --> 00:36:44.929
Yeah, she is the boss. Don't mess with her.
950
00:36:45.230 --> 00:36:45.469
Yeah.
951
00:36:46.030 --> 00:36:48.489
Do you feel like, because you've had a big distance,
952
00:36:48.510 --> 00:36:50.230
do you feel like you're a different person?
953
00:36:50.429 --> 00:36:53.010
Yes, and I've got more grey hairs and I'm exhausted.
954
00:36:53.030 --> 00:36:59.929
LAUGHTER Yeah, I look different. LAUGHTER I've had to practice
955
00:37:00.309 --> 00:37:04.550
the art of patience, and it's a daily practice. But
956
00:37:04.610 --> 00:37:07.809
my goodness, going from one to two was a massive
957
00:37:07.849 --> 00:37:08.489
shock to the system.
958
00:37:08.510 --> 00:37:10.139
It's so mad, isn't it?
959
00:37:10.360 --> 00:37:12.460
Yeah, because when I was pregnant with my first daughter,
960
00:37:12.539 --> 00:37:15.579
you know, towards the end, I'd lie around watching box sets,
961
00:37:15.619 --> 00:37:18.199
you know, chill out. But you can't do that, can you, obviously,
962
00:37:18.219 --> 00:37:21.159
with a second, because you're running around after your other child.
963
00:37:21.420 --> 00:37:23.980
Yeah, you're looking after a six-year-old. That's quite an intense
964
00:37:24.039 --> 00:37:25.880
kind of experience.
965
00:37:26.280 --> 00:37:26.719
Was your.
966
00:37:27.510 --> 00:37:30.480
Was your six-year-old excited by the idea of becoming an
967
00:37:30.519 --> 00:37:31.099
older sister?
968
00:37:31.119 --> 00:37:32.099
She was, because.
969
00:37:31.960 --> 00:37:34.400
She came home one day and asked for a sibling.
970
00:37:35.300 --> 00:37:36.179
Yeah.
971
00:37:37.079 --> 00:37:37.860
And you got to it.
972
00:37:38.420 --> 00:37:39.820
We got to it.
973
00:37:39.960 --> 00:37:41.260
Connor in our firstborn.
974
00:37:41.280 --> 00:37:45.440
So cute, actually. The first time we told her that
975
00:37:45.480 --> 00:37:48.030
we were having a baby. And she didn't believe us.
976
00:37:48.119 --> 00:37:50.150
She did not believe us. She kept saying, what? There's
977
00:37:50.170 --> 00:37:52.909
a baby in there. Are you sure it's not just food, mummy?
978
00:37:52.929 --> 00:37:54.010
So cute.
979
00:37:55.860 --> 00:37:59.280
Really excited, always wanted a sister. She got her sister.
980
00:37:59.360 --> 00:38:01.539
And then when, you know, her father and I said
981
00:38:01.559 --> 00:38:05.460
to her about a year ago or so, how would
982
00:38:05.500 --> 00:38:07.610
you feel about having another sibling? She's like, no.
983
00:38:11.230 --> 00:38:11.900
She's over it.
984
00:38:12.050 --> 00:38:13.659
She is over it.
985
00:38:16.280 --> 00:38:18.369
Was it nice? Because she was in school, your eldest,
986
00:38:18.409 --> 00:38:20.630
wasn't she then, I imagine, when you had your baby? Yeah.
987
00:38:20.650 --> 00:38:23.289
Was she still in? Yeah, she should have been six,
988
00:38:23.329 --> 00:38:24.730
so she was in school. So did you have a
989
00:38:24.730 --> 00:38:26.829
bit more time in the day to sort of like
990
00:38:27.269 --> 00:38:29.500
one-on-one with the baby? Where we found, because we only
991
00:38:29.539 --> 00:38:32.139
got a two-year age gap, the eldest was still at
992
00:38:32.179 --> 00:38:33.420
home when we had the baby, not.
993
00:38:33.360 --> 00:38:35.719
Even sort of properly in nursery. So it was a
994
00:38:35.739 --> 00:38:37.940
bit like you were a bit split down the middle.
995
00:38:38.289 --> 00:38:38.969
That's full on.
996
00:38:39.050 --> 00:38:40.969
But when I had the second baby, I have to
997
00:38:41.010 --> 00:38:43.010
be honest, it was a bit of a whirlwind because
998
00:38:43.030 --> 00:38:47.150
I was working right up until my waters broke.
999
00:38:47.429 --> 00:38:48.710
Yeah, sure.
1000
00:38:48.769 --> 00:38:50.289
Whilst I was working.
1001
00:38:50.309 --> 00:38:51.309
Really?
1002
00:38:51.690 --> 00:38:53.719
Is that why Simon Cowell looks so shocked all the time?
1003
00:38:57.119 --> 00:38:59.980
And I, I honestly, yeah, towards the end, I was
1004
00:39:00.000 --> 00:39:03.380
quite stressed and I ended up having four weeks earlier
1005
00:39:03.420 --> 00:39:06.429
than she was supposed to be. And then I had
1006
00:39:06.590 --> 00:39:10.730
to fly to America to film America's Got Talent after
1007
00:39:10.889 --> 00:39:11.909
five weeks of having her.
1008
00:39:12.710 --> 00:39:14.300
Oh my God. Oh my word.
1009
00:39:14.550 --> 00:39:19.099
It was a bit mental the first couple of months. Fortunately,
1010
00:39:19.119 --> 00:39:22.659
I've got a very supportive mom, amazing partner. And we
1011
00:39:22.679 --> 00:39:24.639
just all, you know, we just got on with it
1012
00:39:24.750 --> 00:39:26.650
and just made it work. So we were in America
1013
00:39:26.690 --> 00:39:29.349
for the first couple of months of her life. And then, yeah,
1014
00:39:29.369 --> 00:39:32.019
when we came back, um i had the christmas period
1015
00:39:32.039 --> 00:39:34.380
to kind of relax azura was at school and then
1016
00:39:34.420 --> 00:39:37.050
it was straight back into bgt in the january so
1017
00:39:37.090 --> 00:39:38.190
it was quite full on.
1018
00:39:38.090 --> 00:39:41.840
With them and then was that covid Well, actually, yeah.
1019
00:39:41.860 --> 00:39:44.300
We came back from doing the promo trip in the Jan,
1020
00:39:44.389 --> 00:39:47.190
and then I think we went into lockdown in the March.
1021
00:39:47.730 --> 00:39:49.909
And actually, that period of time when we had that
1022
00:39:50.010 --> 00:39:52.909
amazing summer, that beautiful weather, and we spent a lot
1023
00:39:52.929 --> 00:39:56.260
of time together, quality time as a family. And that's
1024
00:39:56.280 --> 00:39:58.760
when you know, that's the test, isn't it? When you
1025
00:39:58.960 --> 00:40:01.880
feel forced to be with each other, if you can
1026
00:40:01.920 --> 00:40:03.559
still like each other at the end of it.
1027
00:40:03.699 --> 00:40:04.659
And we had a very.
1028
00:40:05.000 --> 00:40:09.269
dare I say, successful lockdown. Like, yeah, the fact we
1029
00:40:09.309 --> 00:40:10.849
just got on with it and it was great. But
1030
00:40:10.869 --> 00:40:13.250
I have to say my, my eldest daughter, even though she,
1031
00:40:13.349 --> 00:40:15.329
you know, doesn't want us to have any more children.
1032
00:40:16.449 --> 00:40:19.469
She loves her sister. She's very protective. She, you know,
1033
00:40:19.489 --> 00:40:22.219
she's been super helpful. She's proud of her. She loves
1034
00:40:22.260 --> 00:40:23.820
showing her off. You know, it's that typical thing.
1035
00:40:23.980 --> 00:40:25.840
Are you panicking now because you said that she didn't
1036
00:40:25.860 --> 00:40:27.619
want any more siblings. You don't want us to listen back.
1037
00:40:28.280 --> 00:40:31.420
in a few years' time and accuse you of being
1038
00:40:31.460 --> 00:40:32.219
mean about her.
1039
00:40:32.239 --> 00:40:34.900
Was that a safety sentence there, Alicia?
1040
00:40:35.239 --> 00:40:35.800
Maybe.
1041
00:40:35.960 --> 00:40:37.440
But you know what?
1042
00:40:37.659 --> 00:40:40.079
She changes every week. I mean, even the other day
1043
00:40:40.199 --> 00:40:42.699
she said to us, oh, I think we should have
1044
00:40:42.760 --> 00:40:44.329
ten siblings. And you just go, huh?
1045
00:40:44.639 --> 00:40:45.679
Do you know what?
1046
00:40:45.739 --> 00:40:47.800
I prefer the first answer of none.
1047
00:40:47.840 --> 00:40:50.380
Last month you said no, absolutely no way.
1048
00:40:50.420 --> 00:40:51.000
I think it's.
1049
00:40:50.900 --> 00:40:53.119
Because of the fear of having a little brother. So
1050
00:40:53.139 --> 00:40:55.079
she's like, I'd rather not, you know, chance.
1051
00:40:55.099 --> 00:40:56.659
Yes, yeah. You can split.
1052
00:40:56.679 --> 00:40:58.059
Yeah, I can get a couple more girls to back
1053
00:40:58.079 --> 00:40:59.760
her up in case there's a little boy running about.
1054
00:40:59.920 --> 00:41:00.119
Yeah.
1055
00:41:00.340 --> 00:41:02.909
But honestly, I think we're OK, actually, with two. I
1056
00:41:02.949 --> 00:41:05.929
think I take my hat off to anyone with more
1057
00:41:05.949 --> 00:41:06.369
than two.
1058
00:41:06.409 --> 00:41:10.110
Well, yeah, because you had quite a lot of half siblings.
1059
00:41:10.150 --> 00:41:11.369
I think I don't know what the correct term is
1060
00:41:11.409 --> 00:41:13.349
anymore because I've got like half brothers, as it were.
1061
00:41:13.929 --> 00:41:16.289
Was there a lot of kids around when you was
1062
00:41:16.309 --> 00:41:17.909
growing up or did you not see them all? Or
1063
00:41:17.969 --> 00:41:18.489
how was that?
1064
00:41:18.510 --> 00:41:21.090
Because I find that, because there was a lot of us,
1065
00:41:21.369 --> 00:41:23.730
I quite like it just having two kids where Josh
1066
00:41:23.769 --> 00:41:25.659
was sort of, you had half siblings, but you was
1067
00:41:25.699 --> 00:41:26.550
almost the only child.
1068
00:41:26.610 --> 00:41:28.920
You quite like it being busy and lots of people around.
1069
00:41:28.940 --> 00:41:29.840
Yeah, I love life being busy.
1070
00:41:29.940 --> 00:41:32.340
Do you quite like it a bit quieter, Alicia?
1071
00:41:32.420 --> 00:41:35.960
Yeah, like I've got five brothers, one sister, you know,
1072
00:41:36.000 --> 00:41:37.860
grew up with a lot of noise. So yeah, I'm
1073
00:41:37.900 --> 00:41:40.679
probably more leaning towards the quieter side.
1074
00:41:41.380 --> 00:41:43.280
Yeah, I've had enough of people being in the house.
1075
00:41:45.340 --> 00:41:49.320
Fuck off and leave me alone. Rob's had enough people
1076
00:41:49.360 --> 00:41:51.559
before the age of 20. He's done with people.
1077
00:41:52.909 --> 00:41:54.750
There were so many people in my house.
1078
00:41:54.789 --> 00:41:56.590
I remember once my auntie come to stay and my
1079
00:41:56.610 --> 00:41:58.630
mum went, oh, I was about 14. She went, can
1080
00:41:58.650 --> 00:42:00.710
you find somewhere to stay this weekend around your mates
1081
00:42:00.769 --> 00:42:02.989
or something? Because she's coming down. So I got shipped
1082
00:42:03.190 --> 00:42:04.869
out to my mate's house for two nights.
1083
00:42:09.800 --> 00:42:11.280
Hello, Susie Ruffell.
1084
00:42:12.019 --> 00:42:14.159
Hello, Josh Widdicombe and Rob Beckett.
1085
00:42:14.179 --> 00:42:15.719
Sorry, did I cough all over that, Josh?
1086
00:42:15.760 --> 00:42:17.550
You really did, yeah. I thought that was quite bad.
1087
00:42:17.570 --> 00:42:20.309
Sorry, shall we start again? Let's do a proper intro.
1088
00:42:20.829 --> 00:42:24.190
Susie's our friend, but let's pretend this is an official interview.
1089
00:42:24.210 --> 00:42:24.789
Who are you?
1090
00:42:25.769 --> 00:42:28.889
Who have we got up next?
1091
00:42:29.409 --> 00:42:31.090
We've got a lovely comedian up next.
1092
00:42:31.190 --> 00:42:34.010
I've heard they're brilliant. Lovely. No one's lovely comedian. A
1093
00:42:34.070 --> 00:42:34.679
funny one.
1094
00:42:34.719 --> 00:42:34.949
Funny.
1095
00:42:36.500 --> 00:42:37.300
How lovely.
1096
00:42:37.619 --> 00:42:39.940
That's what you say, right? He's a lovely bloke. He's
1097
00:42:39.980 --> 00:42:42.320
a lovely girl. No, it's still a proper intro, Josh.
1098
00:42:42.429 --> 00:42:43.610
But I know what you're about to say, Josh. Do
1099
00:42:43.630 --> 00:42:45.429
you remember when we did that gig and the guy
1100
00:42:45.449 --> 00:42:46.449
couldn't remember my name?
1101
00:42:46.469 --> 00:42:47.630
Yeah, in Chester.
1102
00:42:47.849 --> 00:42:48.070
Yeah.
1103
00:42:48.130 --> 00:42:51.849
In Chester. This is like more than a decade ago.
1104
00:42:52.369 --> 00:42:53.179
More than a decade ago.
1105
00:42:53.199 --> 00:42:55.019
We're in Chester. No, I remember about a decade ago.
1106
00:42:55.059 --> 00:42:55.320
Yeah.
1107
00:42:55.840 --> 00:42:56.719
Oh, fine.
1108
00:42:57.449 --> 00:42:58.559
A decade and a week ago.
1109
00:42:58.619 --> 00:43:00.880
How did I do that? Why did I do that?
1110
00:43:01.219 --> 00:43:06.019
That's very you. Can you stop talking over our women guests, Josh? Oh, God. Sorry, Suze.
1111
00:43:06.039 --> 00:43:08.320
It's like being back on Mock the Week. About two
1112
00:43:08.380 --> 00:43:14.070
times I did it. So we were in Chester doing
1113
00:43:14.110 --> 00:43:14.969
a tour show.
1114
00:43:14.769 --> 00:43:17.210
And then we were doing, it must have been quite
1115
00:43:17.230 --> 00:43:19.230
a small gig in Chester because you decided to double
1116
00:43:19.250 --> 00:43:21.710
it with a weekend gig. And then they put me
1117
00:43:21.769 --> 00:43:24.440
on as an open spot. But the guy who I
1118
00:43:24.619 --> 00:43:27.539
had never seen before and have never seen since... couldn't
1119
00:43:27.559 --> 00:43:29.539
remember my name and he'd written it on his hand
1120
00:43:29.940 --> 00:43:33.000
and he went up next we've got uh we've got
1121
00:43:33.019 --> 00:43:35.480
someone doing a shorter set and it is and then
1122
00:43:35.940 --> 00:43:37.460
had to look at his hand but rather than sort
1123
00:43:37.480 --> 00:43:39.739
of looking at quite casually he went got no problem
1124
00:43:39.760 --> 00:43:43.050
with my hands at the moment sort of stretched his
1125
00:43:43.110 --> 00:43:45.650
hand out to read it to read my name and
1126
00:43:45.710 --> 00:43:47.690
everyone was like oh okay and then it was like
1127
00:43:48.110 --> 00:43:50.349
suzy ruffles It was so weird.
1128
00:43:50.429 --> 00:43:51.510
Oh, God.
1129
00:43:51.809 --> 00:43:53.869
And I could see, the room was small enough that
1130
00:43:53.929 --> 00:43:55.070
I could see Josh.
1131
00:43:55.130 --> 00:43:55.570
Delighted.
1132
00:43:55.730 --> 00:43:57.090
Sort of guffawing at the back.
1133
00:43:57.110 --> 00:43:57.929
Loving it, absolutely loving it.
1134
00:43:57.929 --> 00:43:59.389
Absolutely dying. Good times, eh?
1135
00:43:59.510 --> 00:44:00.409
How are you, Susie?
1136
00:44:00.449 --> 00:44:01.590
We've moved on with our lives.
1137
00:44:01.840 --> 00:44:02.429
We have.
1138
00:44:02.610 --> 00:44:03.900
Tell us about your set-up at home.
1139
00:44:04.159 --> 00:44:07.000
My set-up at home is that I'm currently having double-glazing
1140
00:44:07.039 --> 00:44:08.800
windows put in, so I'm at Jen Brister's house.
1141
00:44:09.019 --> 00:44:10.840
All right. So you're not actually at home?
1142
00:44:10.980 --> 00:44:11.699
I'm not living here.
1143
00:44:11.719 --> 00:44:14.159
Someone's trying to fight the winter fuel bills going on.
1144
00:44:14.360 --> 00:44:14.519
Thanks.
1145
00:44:15.940 --> 00:44:16.199
Yeah.
1146
00:44:16.599 --> 00:44:17.159
Yeah, exactly.
1147
00:44:17.199 --> 00:44:21.199
Well, we moved into a house and it's really fucking cold.
1148
00:44:21.239 --> 00:44:22.199
So we've got to get our windows done.
1149
00:44:22.239 --> 00:44:22.880
So that's happened.
1150
00:44:23.039 --> 00:44:26.780
Is it a Victorian build? It is, yeah. They're so pretty,
1151
00:44:26.900 --> 00:44:28.639
aren't they? But fuckers.
1152
00:44:28.679 --> 00:44:30.139
So pretty, but it's really cold.
1153
00:44:30.179 --> 00:44:33.639
Really annoying. Really cold. I think everyone sort of does that,
1154
00:44:33.659 --> 00:44:34.690
don't they? When they get out.
1155
00:44:34.760 --> 00:44:37.880
I love like a Victorian build with like the high ceilings.
1156
00:44:38.219 --> 00:44:39.639
Fuckers to heat. Yeah, absolutely.
1157
00:44:39.659 --> 00:44:40.039
Welcome to my life.
1158
00:44:40.059 --> 00:44:42.110
Windows need doing. Welcome to my life.
1159
00:44:42.139 --> 00:44:42.489
Yeah.
1160
00:44:43.789 --> 00:44:45.969
Yeah, I'm as cold as I am at your house, Josh.
1161
00:44:46.230 --> 00:44:51.719
It's terrible. So, like any good lesbian, I've popped round
1162
00:44:51.739 --> 00:44:53.500
to Jim Brister's house because the sound's better here.
1163
00:44:53.519 --> 00:44:55.699
Of course. There's not a key either. It just scans
1164
00:44:55.719 --> 00:44:56.420
you and you get let in.
1165
00:44:56.500 --> 00:44:57.019
Yeah, yeah.
1166
00:44:57.119 --> 00:44:59.539
Any lesbians within 15 miles are allowed in and out.
1167
00:44:59.559 --> 00:45:00.639
They just scan your shoes.
1168
00:45:01.260 --> 00:45:02.820
Oh, yeah.
1169
00:45:02.920 --> 00:45:05.099
Oh, yeah. She's done a bit of walking. There you go.
1170
00:45:05.300 --> 00:45:06.860
I hope she's broke them Doc Martens in.
1171
00:45:07.119 --> 00:45:07.449
Get in.
1172
00:45:08.750 --> 00:45:09.369
They're comfy.
1173
00:45:09.530 --> 00:45:10.829
I did a gig in flip-flops once.
1174
00:45:10.889 --> 00:45:11.289
Did you?
1175
00:45:11.429 --> 00:45:12.309
Oh, fuck off, Rob.
1176
00:45:12.329 --> 00:45:12.750
Yeah, and shorts.
1177
00:45:12.769 --> 00:45:15.150
Yeah. Are you allowed to swear on this?
1178
00:45:15.250 --> 00:45:17.809
Yeah, do what you want, mate. Oh, I flip-flopped on stage.
1179
00:45:18.050 --> 00:45:18.690
There's no rules.
1180
00:45:18.789 --> 00:45:20.530
Was it like someone was clapping? Because, you know, they
1181
00:45:20.550 --> 00:45:20.909
sort of.
1182
00:45:21.340 --> 00:45:23.619
As I walked off. Silence.
1183
00:45:23.679 --> 00:45:24.739
Slow clapped off.
1184
00:45:25.730 --> 00:45:27.300
Yeah, I don't know what that was. Sort of ignorance
1185
00:45:27.360 --> 00:45:28.719
is bliss, arrogance, really.
1186
00:45:28.900 --> 00:45:29.800
How long ago was this?
1187
00:45:29.860 --> 00:45:31.980
Yeah, where were you? Oh, this was when I first started,
1188
00:45:32.019 --> 00:45:34.380
probably the first year of comedy. I wouldn't do it now.
1189
00:45:34.460 --> 00:45:34.639
No.
1190
00:45:34.780 --> 00:45:35.179
I'd hope not.
1191
00:45:35.199 --> 00:45:37.329
I've got slightly more respect for the art.
1192
00:45:37.869 --> 00:45:40.710
But back then, I hated everyone and everything and just thought,
1193
00:45:40.789 --> 00:45:41.849
fuck you, I'll do what I want.
1194
00:45:42.030 --> 00:45:45.070
And it was really uncomfortable, actually, and I regretted it immediately. Anyway,
1195
00:45:45.190 --> 00:45:46.010
how old's your daughter?
1196
00:45:49.510 --> 00:45:50.710
She's coming up for three.
1197
00:45:51.090 --> 00:45:51.469
Three.
1198
00:45:51.789 --> 00:45:53.110
So we're beyond saying months.
1199
00:45:53.250 --> 00:45:53.530
Yes.
1200
00:45:53.550 --> 00:45:54.570
Yes, yes.
1201
00:45:54.610 --> 00:45:56.289
You know, you've hit that point, don't you? You've stopped
1202
00:45:56.369 --> 00:45:58.769
fanning about with 22 months, 24 months. I think a.
1203
00:45:58.829 --> 00:45:59.769
Two, that should stop.
1204
00:45:59.809 --> 00:46:00.690
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
1205
00:46:01.070 --> 00:46:04.659
Anyone that's going like 28, no, a two, that stops,
1206
00:46:04.860 --> 00:46:05.179
I think.
1207
00:46:05.480 --> 00:46:10.900
So nearly three. So she's chatty. She's fun. Her emotions
1208
00:46:11.260 --> 00:46:12.500
are extreme.
1209
00:46:13.119 --> 00:46:13.460
Are they?
1210
00:46:13.480 --> 00:46:14.469
Yeah, yeah.
1211
00:46:14.829 --> 00:46:15.909
Yeah, you've got another year of that.
1212
00:46:15.929 --> 00:46:19.719
Because you remember that bit where the joy is just
1213
00:46:19.900 --> 00:46:20.940
so joyful.
1214
00:46:21.000 --> 00:46:21.219
Yeah.
1215
00:46:21.500 --> 00:46:22.949
And the rage is fucking terrifying.
1216
00:46:22.969 --> 00:46:25.989
Yeah, yeah. I think three's worse than two. You know,
1217
00:46:26.010 --> 00:46:28.170
it's in the terrible twos. Don't say that.
1218
00:46:28.269 --> 00:46:29.570
I'm a month out. Don't say that.
1219
00:46:29.610 --> 00:46:29.869
I do.
1220
00:46:29.909 --> 00:46:33.769
I think physically two's really bad because they're developing.
1221
00:46:33.789 --> 00:46:35.130
They can run around and grab everything.
1222
00:46:35.150 --> 00:46:38.199
They don't really understand the communication of it to go
1223
00:46:38.239 --> 00:46:38.780
like stop.
1224
00:46:38.860 --> 00:46:39.079
No.
1225
00:46:39.119 --> 00:46:41.219
And all that kind of thing. But at three, that's
1226
00:46:41.280 --> 00:46:44.659
when psychologically it starts ramping up. And that only ever
1227
00:46:44.699 --> 00:46:47.099
gets worse because you mentally get weaker and they get stronger.
1228
00:46:47.239 --> 00:46:48.380
Yeah. Until you're dead.
1229
00:46:48.500 --> 00:46:50.619
I think that's something to look forward to, Suze.
1230
00:46:50.639 --> 00:46:55.030
This has been lovely. Thanks for having me. Yeah, great podcast. Congratulations, guys. Bye.
1231
00:46:58.300 --> 00:47:00.219
That's it for this special Best Of episode.
1232
00:47:03.579 --> 00:47:05.719
Hello, my name's Joe Wilkinson and I do a podcast
1233
00:47:05.739 --> 00:47:07.280
with David Earl. It's called Chatterpix.
1234
00:47:07.480 --> 00:47:10.239
Chatterpix is a podcast magazine and chat.
1235
00:47:10.019 --> 00:47:10.519
Show, isn't it?
1236
00:47:10.559 --> 00:47:10.699
Yeah.
1237
00:47:10.719 --> 00:47:12.889
We're on three times a week. We have loads of guests,
1238
00:47:12.909 --> 00:47:14.170
special guests, surprise guests.
1239
00:47:14.190 --> 00:47:15.349
Can I read some of the highlights?
1240
00:47:15.409 --> 00:47:15.630
Yeah.
1241
00:47:15.730 --> 00:47:17.369
Interviewing a Red Arrow pilot.
1242
00:47:17.429 --> 00:47:18.789
Visiting a haunted house.
1243
00:47:18.889 --> 00:47:22.650
Chatting with Ricky Gervais, Harry Hill, James Acaster and Catherine Ryan,
1244
00:47:22.670 --> 00:47:23.349
amongst others.
1245
00:47:23.469 --> 00:47:25.469
Backstage at the Blur concert at Wembley.
1246
00:47:25.530 --> 00:47:28.349
And I met my hero, Angie Roachwood, and I cried.
1247
00:47:28.650 --> 00:47:29.630
So that's Chatterpix.
1248
00:47:29.670 --> 00:47:32.699
C-H-A-T-A-B-I-X. Chatterpix.
1249
00:47:33.510 --> 00:47:36.510
Can I take your name, please? It's me, Michael McIntyre. Hello.
1250
00:47:36.949 --> 00:47:41.590
I'm back. Look at me now! With my brand-new tour magnificent.
1251
00:47:41.750 --> 00:47:42.449
Yee-haw!
1252
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This is the guy!
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Where am I going? Coming to a place near you.
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On your marks, get set, go! And many other places
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nowhere near you. Come on, darling, let's go. For the
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last time, my name is Akin Kaka. Go to michaelmcintyre.co.uk
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for tickets.