S05 EP16: Guz Khan

WEBVTT
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Hello, I'm Rob Beckett.
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And I'm Josh Willicombe.
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Welcome to Parenting Hell, the show in which Josh and
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I discuss what it's really like to be a parent,
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which I would say can be a little tricky.
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So, to make ourselves, and hopefully you, feel better about
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the trials and tribulations of modern day parenting, each week
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we'll be chatting to a famous parent about how they're coping.
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Or hopefully how they're not coping.
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And we'll also be hearing from you, the listener, with
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your tips, advice and, of course, tales of parenting woe.
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Because, let's be honest, there are plenty of times when
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none of us know what we're doing. Hello, you're listening
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to Parenting Hell with... Melina, can you say Rob?
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Rob.
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Beckett.
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Beckett.
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And can you say Josh?
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Josh. Widdicombe. Widdicombe.
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Widdicombe.
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Well done, Melina.
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Nice work. Failed at Widdicombe again, but fair enough. It's
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the equivalent of the Travelator in Gladiators, isn't it? You
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can do the whole of the Eliminator, but then you
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fall down on Widdicombe.
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And I think if you don't go in confident, you're
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never going to recover.
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No, exactly.
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You've exerted yourself early doors. How are you, Josh?
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I'm good.
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Do you want to know who that was?
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No.
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Okay.
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Yeah, I do.
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Obviously.
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No, I do.
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Come on. This was my 16-month-old daughter, Milena. We live
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in Bristol, although I'm originally from.
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Russia.
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Malta. Oh. Listening to your podcast kept me sane during
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those long hours pushing a pram around in circles trying
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to get her to sleep. She's early doors with the
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talking and even sings her own nursery rhymes. Yeah, she
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is early doors with the talking, actually. How old is she?
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16 months.
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Or my son is late doors.
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You so care at the time, but after a year,
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because my daughter's four, so it's only a little while ago,
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like two and a half years. You just forget.
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Doesn't matter.
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No, it doesn't matter. But at the time, I remember
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being like, oh, what is it? Just, oh, my God.
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Yeah.
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But that is, well, yeah, well done. Sorry. No, it's good.
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Well done, she's talking. But, yeah, you just sort of forget,
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don't you?
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Well, don't worry. Jake has done a good paragraph here.
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She's early doors with the talking.
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Have you still got yogurt in your mouth?
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No.
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I've got an almond. Have you got an almond in there?
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I know I can hear something clinking about. It sounded
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like a board sweet.
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Sorry.
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So you got to chew the almond. Was it still
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in there?
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My mouth is an empty chamber.
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So what was the almond?
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It was just an almond I picked up off the bowl.
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You popped in during talking that I heard clink and
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then you chewed it and got it down.
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I don't even remember the thought process that did that.
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That was on autopilot.
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Awful. So you chewed an almond or almond mid-chat.
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You know those flaked almonds, not a full almond, like
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a flake.
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I was going to say, you got that down well.
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Yeah, no, no, not a full almond, like a flaked almond.
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Oh, I was going to say, I thought you just
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panicked and choked it down like a goblin and acorn. Sorry,
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go on.
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She's early outdoors with the talking and even sings her
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own nursery rhymes to get herself to sleep. But she
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has still never slept through the night and is regularly
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up three to four times a night before starting the
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day at 5.30am. Thanks again and looking forward to the book. Jake.
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Oh, Jake, that is brutal.
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Yeah, I take the mute sleeper. Thank you very much, Jake.
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How are you, Josh?
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All right?
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Can't smile wide enough, Rob. I'm good, actually. I'm fine.
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Can't smile wide enough.
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Yeah.
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Oh, good.
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That's good.
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What's up?
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We're just sort of grinding through back to school, getting
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all the... I don't know about you, but I always go,
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I'll get that sorted when the kids are back in school,
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which then means as soon as they're back in school,
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I've got loads of horrible stuff to do.
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Our plan was to tidy the house in September. That
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was our plan. What a fucking life that is.
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Tidy the house.
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Tidy the house. For once, since we've moved in, we've
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always said it's not quite.
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How you want it. Or not tired enough.
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Five years in, and now we're finally thinking September's the month.
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And what are your thoughts on moving, or are you
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definitely happy there now?
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We're happy here now.
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You're not going anywhere?
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We're not going anywhere for the foreseeable.
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Okay.
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Talk to me in two years. We still might be moving,
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but we don't know yet.
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Yeah, well, do you know what? Our daughter keeps asking
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when we're going to move. But I don't know why
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she wants to move. She's never lived in any other house.
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Did you say you might be moving then?
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No, I don't think so. But maybe her friends have
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moved or something like that. Her friends have moved house.
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I don't know if it's exciting for a kid or
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scary to move house. Because I never moved house. We
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never moved.
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We moved when I was three and a half, so
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I didn't really experience it. And then I lived in
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the same house until I was 18.
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Yeah, so I lived in the same house for 18
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years before I moved out.
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Oh, God.
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I could.
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Can't imagine the stress of moving house now the thrill
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of moving but then that six months after when nothing's
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quite sorted.
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I think it's good it's a new start fresh start
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you can go through like sort out all your direct
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debits and change all your dresses it feels like a
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new beginning.
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Yeah I love that bit The move is fun, right?
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The move is exciting.
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You have to pay for a removals firm. I always
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moved myself in the back of my little car. And
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then when we moved from our flat to what is
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our now sort of family home, we got movers and
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it was the greatest thing I've ever done.
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You're not going to believe what I've just done.
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What?
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I've just eaten an almond. What's wrong with you? What
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is wrong with me?
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How hungry are you?
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Quite hungry because I brought my breakfast to record and
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I didn't eat it because we were recording.
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Yeah, but we were always going to be recording.
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I know, but I was late.
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He was like, okay, fair enough.
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Why have I just done that? I didn't even think
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about it. Do you know what? That's how comfortable I am.
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It's like we're having a conversation. It's just like we're
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having breakfast.
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Yeah, but even if we were having a conversation, like
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you've brought a bowl of yoghurt from home, I'd be like,
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it's a bit weird, isn't it?
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Not from home!
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Like finger-dabbing almonds and popping them in mid-chat. You're licking
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your finger and dabbing them and getting them.
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No, I'm getting them with a spoon.
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Like the police in TV shows when they're testing cocaine.
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When they do a drugs bust.
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And they get it and rub it on their gun.
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I always think they've put a bit too much on there.
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I think what you've just done there, mate, is illegal.
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Let me just check if this is right. Yeah, that's
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definitely cocaine. Take them down. Take them down. I'm going up.
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How also, if you're a policeman, you shouldn't know that
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that shouldn't help.
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Well, do you want to parent and fail about getting
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powders mixed up?
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Yeah. Here we go.
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God, this is a good segue. A few months ago,
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we went to the coast of our baby, who was
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four weeks old. We packed some formula, and everything was
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going well until 3 a.m. one morning. My husband told
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me our baby had been throwing up a fair bit.
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I'd explained a bit of spitted-up milk was normal. He
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went back to sleep. At 5 a.m., I took over
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to find millions of ants on one formula bottle, and
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after smelling it, I realized why. It turned out I'd packed...
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formula in a Tupperware box. My husband had also packed
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his own formula, cookie protein powder in a similar box.
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Oh, no.
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We accidentally measured out protein powder instead of formula.
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Oh, my God.
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The baby only had half a bottle, threw it all up.
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He's absolutely fine.
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He's fucking ripped. Sorry, I think you were going, I
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just realised that I said it.
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No, look, that's why you're a comedian, because they went
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for it and said, he looks like he's just ready
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for the CrossFit Champions 2023. Which is a great line,
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but fucking Rick works better. Harriet, who messaged in. No,
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don't say sorry, you made that better, you made that funnier. Right,
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shall we move on from this? Shall we have our guest?
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Yes let's have our guest oh we've wanted this guy
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on for bloody ages he's absolutely brilliant uh he has
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four kids.
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Four kids four kids yeah we've um he's been he's
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so busy filming in america and things like that and
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he's touring he's in the uk doing london shows um
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it's a brilliant guz khan here.
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He is.
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Hello guz khan how are.
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You He's great at intros. He really bigs you up.
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How you doing, mate? That's the best intro I ever
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heard in my life. I'm good, lads. What's going on?
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Well, we're just living back in England while you're in Hollywood, mate,
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in all those films and Netflix shows.
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Is that what you think my life is? Okay, let
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me explain to you where I'm right now.
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No, I don't actually.
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What do you think? Okay, let me tell you where
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I am right now. Somebody, and they're supposed to be
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my friend, yeah? After a production meeting yesterday, booked me
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a hotel, yeah? This hotel is the shittiest hotel I've
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ever been in my whole life. Fucking middle of the night,
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it's got rolly wheels. One of the rolly wheels came off.
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My blood pressure went up. This is a horrible hotel.
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Of the rolly wheels? On the bed?
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On the bed. Yes, bro. And one of it came
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off in the night. The bottom left one.
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So you're away working from home. How many kids you
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got for the listeners? Gus, let's talk us through your setup.
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What's going on? Are they all still in Coventry while
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you're out and about working?
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They're all still coved. They're all settled. And I have
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a very powerful back four, mate. I'm talking the kind
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of back four Circa United when they were doing trebles, mate.
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There's Vidic in there. There's Ferdinand in there. There's all
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kinds of shit in there, mate. So it's a back four. Rob,
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remind me, how many little ones you got?
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I've got two. I've got two girls, four and six.
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Josh has got two. Little boy who's running around causing dramas. One.
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And then a girl who's four.
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Oh, this is incredible. So between you, that's how many children?
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Just confirm for me.
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That's four.
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Yeah.
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You don't know shit. You've got to have four on
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your own.
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So what ages have you got?
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The individual that changed my life was my daughter, Sophia Khan.
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And she was born 11 years ago. And then Nobhead
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arrived quite quick after. That was, that was, he's nine.
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Then the other Nobbed came he's seven and then there's
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a new one he's only two and he was on
256
00:10:02.240 --> 00:10:04.919
the cusp of being like his sister but unfortunately he's
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ended up like his dad and his brothers so that's
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the third Nobbed who's two so three boys nine and
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below and one incredible young woman who's 11.
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Do you have a favorite?
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00:10:17.799 --> 00:10:23.580
Do you know what? Here's the thing, okay? I know
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I've presented that as like, yo, Sophia is the beacon
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of everything. But you know, on a day-to-day basis, like somebody,
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00:10:31.190 --> 00:10:34.529
like it's like a horse race. Someone becomes a favorite
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every day by doing something silly or something funny or
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swearing at a neighbor. And like, you know what I mean?
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That's the interchange. But I'm very honest with them. I
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always sit them down regularly and say, look, man, Some
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days your dad loves you more than others. And today's you.
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And I think it's very important for character building that
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they know that.
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There's four kids there. Do they interact well? Are they,
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I don't even know where I'd start with like just
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the day, like. Talk me through getting up.
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00:11:02.919 --> 00:11:05.740
So you're up in the morning. You're up quite early.
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So Sophia is now, it's the best part of parenting.
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She's self-sufficient, isn't it? She knows what she's doing, bro.
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She goes, be brushing her own teeth. It doesn't fall
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in the toilet. There's none of that drama about finding
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a spare toothbrush like we get with the younger lot.
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00:11:20.200 --> 00:11:23.799
So she's very self-sufficient. Breakfast sorts herself out. Yeah, it's
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good vibes. She's got music on. She's doing her thing.
283
00:11:26.960 --> 00:11:30.360
She's basically just like a flat share. She's just like
284
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a lodger.
285
00:11:31.750 --> 00:11:35.629
She is. She's like a very mature lodger, yeah? She
286
00:11:35.690 --> 00:11:38.330
needs to get reminded to, like, change her socks and that.
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She's a bit of a tramp when it comes to that.
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But apart from that, she's sound. So the other three,
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two of them share a bedroom. And then you know
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they're up because, like, things start, like, loud bangs on
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the floor. So that's Ye and Wiggy. Ye and Wiggy
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are on a mad one. The littlest one, he's still
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between me and his mum in the bed. Right.
294
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Oh, right.
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He refuses to leave. But to be honest with you,
296
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me and my missus talk about this every day. We're
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00:12:04.879 --> 00:12:08.139
now used to that setup pretty much since Sophia. So
298
00:12:08.200 --> 00:12:11.269
we've always had one little weirdo stuck between us.
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11 years, yeah.
300
00:12:13.769 --> 00:12:17.549
Yeah, 11 years on the bounce, bro. Even when you
301
00:12:17.590 --> 00:12:20.850
try and shift a kid out in between those periods,
302
00:12:21.110 --> 00:12:23.210
there's always one little pervert that opens the door in
303
00:12:23.230 --> 00:12:26.210
the night like, oh, dad, what's going on, dad? Can't sleep, man.
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So you can't be getting up to nothing anyway. So,
305
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you know what I mean?
306
00:12:29.750 --> 00:12:31.519
Well, you've had a good go at it. You've got four.
307
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You must have found some time.
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00:12:32.980 --> 00:12:34.710
Yeah, fuck, he's got to get it in, isn't he?
309
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And I'm going to be able to see it all.
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When you look at all four of them, the run
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of it, what it's like on a daily basis, our
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00:12:47.779 --> 00:12:50.259
lives do revolve around them. But I want to say
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in a positive way here, it's really fun for us.
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It's a mission. It's a mission every day. But me
315
00:12:57.269 --> 00:12:59.049
and her sometimes get a bit of quiet time. It's like,
316
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She'd look at me and she'd be like, you're fucking weird.
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And I'm like, yeah, you're right. Thank you. Let's get
318
00:13:03.629 --> 00:13:06.669
back to the kids. So they're a great balance for us.
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What do you think it's going to be like when you, like,
320
00:13:09.149 --> 00:13:10.789
can you remember what it was like when you were
321
00:13:10.950 --> 00:13:14.379
a couple? Just the two of you? How long ago
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00:13:14.399 --> 00:13:15.000
does that feel?
323
00:13:15.320 --> 00:13:18.139
Long time. Different life, Joshy. Different life. I was up
324
00:13:18.179 --> 00:13:20.470
to all kinds of different things. I think for her,
325
00:13:20.850 --> 00:13:24.610
she was kind of like, he's my mate. It was
326
00:13:24.649 --> 00:13:26.710
never a lovey-dovey between me and her, so we were
327
00:13:26.750 --> 00:13:29.700
always mates, which was really important. So she was like,
328
00:13:30.779 --> 00:13:32.559
my mate might go to prison for a while. So
329
00:13:32.600 --> 00:13:34.679
she was used to that. And instead, she ended up
330
00:13:34.700 --> 00:13:38.139
in prison with her mate and just banged out four kids. So,
331
00:13:38.340 --> 00:13:42.110
you know, we're kind of in a version of prison
332
00:13:42.389 --> 00:13:45.370
because I go to work, she goes out and sees
333
00:13:45.409 --> 00:13:46.889
family and mates and stuff for a bit. But then
334
00:13:47.169 --> 00:13:49.889
both of us are like quite intensely back with the kids.
335
00:13:51.289 --> 00:13:53.240
But what life was like before that, I don't know.
336
00:13:53.250 --> 00:13:55.220
To be honest with you, I suppose why it's not
337
00:13:55.240 --> 00:13:57.779
that much of a change is my family set up
338
00:13:58.220 --> 00:14:00.659
since I was a kid is our houses have always
339
00:14:00.700 --> 00:14:03.539
been busy, innit? Like, when I go back to Cov
340
00:14:03.580 --> 00:14:06.139
now and I crack the front door, in my house
341
00:14:06.200 --> 00:14:09.500
will be, like, three nieces and nephews of mine who
342
00:14:09.519 --> 00:14:11.909
were very close to me, like, super close. My sister
343
00:14:11.929 --> 00:14:14.690
will be floating about. You know, one of her mates
344
00:14:14.710 --> 00:14:16.590
will be floating about the house. So for us, kind
345
00:14:16.610 --> 00:14:19.830
of like... we're always used to like go go go
346
00:14:19.850 --> 00:14:23.669
and i'm really bad at being like oh twiddling my
347
00:14:23.690 --> 00:14:25.480
thumbs on my own like what should i do here
348
00:14:25.840 --> 00:14:28.980
i always need like somebody about to have a laughing
349
00:14:29.000 --> 00:14:31.220
or feel happy so i suppose in that sense she's
350
00:14:31.240 --> 00:14:33.580
from a big family i'm from a really big family
351
00:14:33.879 --> 00:14:35.820
it's just like it's all we've ever known do you
352
00:14:35.840 --> 00:14:36.200
know what i.
353
00:14:36.200 --> 00:14:38.179
Mean yeah is there a family in coventry as well.
354
00:14:38.600 --> 00:14:39.960
Your family's in Cobb as well, yeah.
355
00:14:39.980 --> 00:14:42.080
Because that's the thing, like, you used to be a teacher,
356
00:14:42.100 --> 00:14:44.740
didn't you? And then you sort of broke through. But
357
00:14:44.779 --> 00:14:47.659
your rise to sort of success and being, you know,
358
00:14:47.919 --> 00:14:50.850
so busy with comedy and acting was quite quick. So
359
00:14:50.870 --> 00:14:52.830
you've gone from that set up with, you probably had
360
00:14:52.889 --> 00:14:55.769
a two-year-old daughter, you're a teacher, you're doing a few
361
00:14:55.809 --> 00:14:59.289
videos online, and, you know, your day's probably quite regimented,
362
00:14:59.309 --> 00:15:00.809
you know, where you are when you're on summer holidays.
363
00:15:00.830 --> 00:15:02.730
And then all of a sudden now you're flying around
364
00:15:02.750 --> 00:15:05.730
the world filming stuff. Your life's changed quite a lot.
365
00:15:06.309 --> 00:15:08.610
Did you feel that impacted on you as a dad
366
00:15:08.669 --> 00:15:11.149
and the kids? Cause you're physically not there enough. Luckily
367
00:15:11.450 --> 00:15:14.179
she's got support around her, your partner, but how's it
368
00:15:14.200 --> 00:15:16.120
for you not being there as regularly as you were
369
00:15:16.139 --> 00:15:17.440
in such a short amount of time?
370
00:15:18.059 --> 00:15:20.820
So it's kind of mad when I really think about it,
371
00:15:21.120 --> 00:15:24.399
we had, we just had our third when I first
372
00:15:24.539 --> 00:15:27.429
ever tried like a funny video or whatever. So we
373
00:15:27.629 --> 00:15:31.289
were already quite into the pairing. And I remember like, thinking,
374
00:15:31.330 --> 00:15:34.259
when I was teaching, like, I loved the fundamentals of
375
00:15:34.279 --> 00:15:37.139
being a teacher, interacting with the kids, and, you know,
376
00:15:37.559 --> 00:15:39.169
they weren't really used to having a teacher who was
377
00:15:39.210 --> 00:15:42.169
from their background, like, it was quite a fairy, so...
378
00:15:43.029 --> 00:15:45.480
All of that stuff was going on. But I was thinking, shit, man,
379
00:15:45.500 --> 00:15:47.000
if I keep teaching, this is going to kill me.
380
00:15:47.539 --> 00:15:51.320
Because it's so intense. It's like you finish work at 3.30
381
00:15:51.320 --> 00:15:53.879
or whatever, but now you're marking books till 2 a.m.
382
00:15:54.100 --> 00:15:56.710
It was killing me. But I always tried to maintain
383
00:15:56.730 --> 00:15:59.470
this family balance. And so when this stuff kicked off
384
00:15:59.529 --> 00:16:02.690
and things started coming in, I think I was quite
385
00:16:02.750 --> 00:16:04.710
aware that I wanted to grab them when I could
386
00:16:04.750 --> 00:16:08.440
and take them with me. So if it was like, oh,
387
00:16:08.460 --> 00:16:12.179
you're filming in Europe for three months on a bounce,
388
00:16:12.720 --> 00:16:15.100
I'd just generally speak to the school and be like, look,
389
00:16:15.360 --> 00:16:17.820
you know what my organization is like. It's shit. You've
390
00:16:17.840 --> 00:16:19.340
seen me going through the school gates in the morning.
391
00:16:19.759 --> 00:16:21.500
I've got this new job. I've got this new life.
392
00:16:22.299 --> 00:16:24.179
Do you reckon you can let the kids come with
393
00:16:24.220 --> 00:16:25.700
me for a bit? And they'd be like, they were
394
00:16:25.720 --> 00:16:26.960
really good. The schools were good. They were like, you
395
00:16:26.980 --> 00:16:28.899
know what? We will, but if it goes beyond this,
396
00:16:28.919 --> 00:16:30.740
we'll have to fine you. So I always took a
397
00:16:30.759 --> 00:16:31.840
bit of a fine in terms of.
398
00:16:31.820 --> 00:16:33.509
Them not being able to come with me.
399
00:16:35.970 --> 00:16:39.250
For weeks and then it became a thing because it's
400
00:16:39.269 --> 00:16:40.950
not you know what i mean it's like i've got
401
00:16:40.970 --> 00:16:42.750
child trafficking on my mind they're just with their.
402
00:16:42.669 --> 00:16:45.149
Dad it's just building in an extra tax.
403
00:16:45.309 --> 00:16:49.659
Yeah exactly bro exactly so so i've always i've always
404
00:16:49.720 --> 00:16:51.620
kind of been like get up and go and dino
405
00:16:51.659 --> 00:16:53.799
my missus that's a nickname like last summer when we
406
00:16:53.840 --> 00:16:55.940
were in la they stay with me nearly the whole
407
00:16:55.980 --> 00:16:57.860
time when we were in prague they were out for
408
00:16:57.899 --> 00:17:00.480
about six weeks oh wow i try and i try
409
00:17:00.519 --> 00:17:03.159
and build it in wherever i go bro for a
410
00:17:03.220 --> 00:17:05.799
bigger project that they come along with me.
411
00:17:06.240 --> 00:17:08.420
Do they enjoy it? That must be amazing as a
412
00:17:08.460 --> 00:17:12.250
kid to suddenly be in Prague or LA. I found
413
00:17:12.390 --> 00:17:14.369
that experience incredible when I was a kid.
414
00:17:14.829 --> 00:17:20.079
I mean, yeah. You know, there's a bit of a
415
00:17:20.539 --> 00:17:23.960
discrepancy between the kids. The first two, obviously, they're born
416
00:17:24.009 --> 00:17:25.970
on the same street that I grew up in. They're
417
00:17:25.990 --> 00:17:28.450
very used to, like, being a bit rowdy, Sophia and Ye.
418
00:17:28.670 --> 00:17:30.490
Then the other guy came, and he's a bit of
419
00:17:30.509 --> 00:17:32.509
a Pokemon. He's an anomaly, yeah? I love him for
420
00:17:32.549 --> 00:17:35.150
what he is, but he's, like, we take him kickboxing.
421
00:17:35.730 --> 00:17:38.400
Sophia and Ye are, like, swinging lefts and rights and that,
422
00:17:38.700 --> 00:17:40.740
and he's in the corner twirling, doing, like, Pokemon powers
423
00:17:40.779 --> 00:17:43.759
and stuff. So I'm like, yo, this kid, he's the
424
00:17:43.779 --> 00:17:45.500
separate guy. He's got his own thing going on. I
425
00:17:45.500 --> 00:17:48.099
love him for it. So, like, between them, Like, the
426
00:17:48.160 --> 00:17:51.650
first two, they're quite, like, a bit of the rough stuff. So,
427
00:17:51.690 --> 00:17:53.650
you know, when things are like, oh, shall we go
428
00:17:53.710 --> 00:17:56.569
to this nice restaurant or whatever? Them two are like, yeah,
429
00:17:56.710 --> 00:17:59.269
a bit lesbian. He's like, oh, dad, this is shit, man.
430
00:17:59.289 --> 00:18:01.970
Shall we just go Dixie or whatever? Shall we go Dixie? So,
431
00:18:02.529 --> 00:18:04.089
he's still on that. And I look at him and
432
00:18:04.109 --> 00:18:05.839
I'm in love with him, innit? Because I'm like, yes, bro,
433
00:18:05.859 --> 00:18:07.579
this is where we came from. And then the other
434
00:18:07.640 --> 00:18:10.779
one's like, oh, dad, do you think we could try Wagyu?
435
00:18:10.819 --> 00:18:12.140
I'm like, how the fuck do you even know what
436
00:18:12.160 --> 00:18:12.440
Wagyu is?
437
00:18:12.700 --> 00:18:13.819
How do you even know what that is?
438
00:18:15.400 --> 00:18:17.930
You know, you two watching Google food. So like when
439
00:18:17.950 --> 00:18:21.230
we go away, we have to try and fit in
440
00:18:21.309 --> 00:18:26.109
like quite normal rowdy stuff versus let's try this experience.
441
00:18:26.150 --> 00:18:28.650
But genuinely, when we go away, as long as we're
442
00:18:28.670 --> 00:18:32.720
together and we're in a nice gaff. Like, it's so
443
00:18:32.759 --> 00:18:34.680
much fun being with each other that we kind of
444
00:18:34.720 --> 00:18:35.720
just get on with it, you know what I mean?
445
00:18:35.740 --> 00:18:38.440
Yeah, of course. And your life's changed quite a lot.
446
00:18:38.460 --> 00:18:40.380
You know, you're still, you know, in cove with all
447
00:18:40.400 --> 00:18:42.660
your friends and family and stuff, and you try and
448
00:18:42.700 --> 00:18:45.180
keep as normal as possible, even though you are, like,
449
00:18:45.299 --> 00:18:47.849
in L.A. filming all this stuff. But do you find
450
00:18:47.880 --> 00:18:49.230
that it's going to be harder and harder as your
451
00:18:49.250 --> 00:18:52.769
kids get older and they're just experiencing different things to,
452
00:18:52.869 --> 00:18:53.710
you know, their peers?
453
00:18:54.309 --> 00:18:58.029
You know, it's mad, yeah. Like, and I genuinely check
454
00:18:58.069 --> 00:18:59.690
in with them a lot because to me it's like,
455
00:19:00.460 --> 00:19:02.009
Sometimes I get a bit weird with it, you know,
456
00:19:02.049 --> 00:19:04.329
it's like they're just kids, but chill out. But it
457
00:19:04.390 --> 00:19:08.710
does mean a lot to me that they remember where
458
00:19:08.750 --> 00:19:14.190
we're from. And that's partly in like where we spend time.
459
00:19:14.829 --> 00:19:16.950
So like this place in Hillfield where all my cousins
460
00:19:16.990 --> 00:19:18.880
and I used to get in mad trouble, but was
461
00:19:19.160 --> 00:19:22.019
conversely still part of the most fun part of my
462
00:19:22.039 --> 00:19:24.880
life growing up. We go back there regularly once or
463
00:19:24.940 --> 00:19:28.559
twice a week. And, you know, Hillies is a rough place.
464
00:19:29.180 --> 00:19:32.099
But I tend to do that. And, you know, as
465
00:19:32.140 --> 00:19:33.859
they get older, I never want to take them somewhere
466
00:19:33.920 --> 00:19:35.740
or show them something that they're like, oh, dad, I'm
467
00:19:35.809 --> 00:19:38.309
not really into that. But they really enjoy it. They
468
00:19:38.390 --> 00:19:41.029
enjoy me talking to aunties and uncles that I grew
469
00:19:41.069 --> 00:19:43.029
up with. Do you know what I mean? They always
470
00:19:43.130 --> 00:19:45.690
put a hand on their shoulder and my shoulder and
471
00:19:45.710 --> 00:19:48.910
just give us a reminder, like good advice or have
472
00:19:48.930 --> 00:19:51.970
a little laugh and a jokes. so for me bro
473
00:19:52.039 --> 00:19:55.579
kind of being on this journey it's like all this
474
00:19:55.660 --> 00:19:59.579
new stuff is cool But then also, I'm open with
475
00:19:59.599 --> 00:20:01.759
them and everybody. It's like, oh, this might go away tomorrow.
476
00:20:01.839 --> 00:20:03.700
That's like the mentality I still have. It's like, it's
477
00:20:03.759 --> 00:20:06.539
all good now. We're in LA doing this and HBO
478
00:20:06.559 --> 00:20:09.000
Studios and got my own show on TV. I go,
479
00:20:09.079 --> 00:20:11.900
in two years' time, if I'm doing Night Shift at Asda,
480
00:20:12.480 --> 00:20:15.029
here's what it is. And I genuinely try and put
481
00:20:15.049 --> 00:20:16.710
that into them. And they're not weirded out by it.
482
00:20:16.730 --> 00:20:18.750
They're like, yeah, man, we'll roll our sleeves up and
483
00:20:18.789 --> 00:20:20.910
do whatever we've got to do as well. So, yeah,
484
00:20:20.950 --> 00:20:21.750
that's important to me.
485
00:20:22.089 --> 00:20:24.029
Am I right in saying that there was a point
486
00:20:24.069 --> 00:20:26.839
when also you were living next door to your Either
487
00:20:26.859 --> 00:20:30.019
your parents or your in-laws at one point. Is that right?
488
00:20:30.660 --> 00:20:39.410
It's my mum. So technically that still happens. There'll be
489
00:20:39.470 --> 00:20:43.069
a few nights a week when the kids, we've got
490
00:20:43.089 --> 00:20:45.890
this new gaff, and they'll be scratching their head. I'll
491
00:20:45.910 --> 00:20:48.190
be like, you good? And they'll be like, yeah, shall
492
00:20:48.230 --> 00:20:49.750
we just go back to the old place for a bit?
493
00:20:49.890 --> 00:20:52.490
And I'm like, if you want. So they'll grab their
494
00:20:52.799 --> 00:20:56.380
school stuff. They'll grab switches or whatever. a few fundamentals,
495
00:20:56.539 --> 00:20:59.720
Pokemon cards, that guy. And then we'll jump in the
496
00:20:59.740 --> 00:21:01.539
car and we'll go back to the house that's next
497
00:21:01.559 --> 00:21:04.259
door to my old day just because they enjoy that
498
00:21:04.299 --> 00:21:09.059
as well. And my mum's a... It sounds weird, but genuinely,
499
00:21:09.380 --> 00:21:11.279
it's a South Asian thing, isn't it? It's like a
500
00:21:11.319 --> 00:21:13.650
Caribbean thing. And in the area we grew up in,
501
00:21:13.680 --> 00:21:17.369
like white working-class Irish families, their mum and dads were
502
00:21:17.410 --> 00:21:21.569
always floating about. It's just something that we're so used
503
00:21:21.650 --> 00:21:24.509
to that if they're not there, like even my miss
504
00:21:24.529 --> 00:21:27.049
you know you get this old school like archetypal or
505
00:21:27.089 --> 00:21:30.529
like you know wives and mother-in-laws and what's the relationship
506
00:21:30.569 --> 00:21:33.019
like of course it can get a bit intense sometimes
507
00:21:33.299 --> 00:21:35.519
but even she's like shit man where is she the
508
00:21:35.539 --> 00:21:38.299
funny lad because my mum is my mum is a
509
00:21:38.400 --> 00:21:42.599
funny like my Jesus so we always we always kind
510
00:21:42.660 --> 00:21:46.609
of like float between the two places and that's that
511
00:21:46.809 --> 00:21:48.869
genuinely that's huge for the kids as well.
512
00:21:48.769 --> 00:21:51.029
Yeah also it's great for child care isn't it no
513
00:21:51.069 --> 00:21:53.049
bro of course of.
514
00:21:53.049 --> 00:21:55.039
Course they'll be coming back saying some weird things in
515
00:21:55.059 --> 00:21:59.000
Punjabi and that that's gonna get me cancelled but it's
516
00:21:59.079 --> 00:21:59.640
worth it.
517
00:22:01.730 --> 00:22:06.250
Do you offload all four at any point? Will your
518
00:22:06.269 --> 00:22:08.789
mum look after all four and then you go, this
519
00:22:08.869 --> 00:22:10.809
is a date night just for us?
520
00:22:11.230 --> 00:22:15.019
Generally with my mum, because she's in her mid-70s now
521
00:22:15.039 --> 00:22:17.059
and she's slowing down, if I leave her with more
522
00:22:17.079 --> 00:22:19.359
than one, a phone call will come quite quickly saying,
523
00:22:19.380 --> 00:22:21.599
come and get the * * * *. Like, that is... So....
524
00:22:24.509 --> 00:22:25.450
One at a time, they're all.
525
00:22:25.470 --> 00:22:29.329
One at a time is just about magical. My sisters
526
00:22:29.369 --> 00:22:31.630
are wicked. So like both my sisters are in the
527
00:22:31.670 --> 00:22:34.539
city as well. So the kids go there and they
528
00:22:34.559 --> 00:22:36.839
have sleepovers. And like I said, my nieces and nephews
529
00:22:37.240 --> 00:22:39.779
are now at an age where, you know, to me,
530
00:22:40.140 --> 00:22:43.460
they're always like kids in your head. But, you know,
531
00:22:43.480 --> 00:22:45.130
they're 17, 18. A couple of them are 20 now.
532
00:22:45.150 --> 00:22:49.430
So they're also really good with the kids. But like
533
00:22:49.470 --> 00:22:51.690
I said at the beginning, I genuinely can't remember when
534
00:22:51.710 --> 00:22:54.220
me and Dino have been able to say, Shall we
535
00:22:54.259 --> 00:22:57.130
go out and explore what this relationship is all about?
536
00:22:59.450 --> 00:22:59.970
Let's talk.
537
00:23:00.390 --> 00:23:02.509
Let's talk, buddy. Come on. What's really going on here?
538
00:23:02.750 --> 00:23:05.859
I think if we did, I'd be fine. We'd probably
539
00:23:05.900 --> 00:23:09.980
be divorced next week. So I'm quite happy. one to
540
00:23:10.009 --> 00:23:12.569
four kids still floating about you know what I mean.
541
00:23:12.490 --> 00:23:15.690
I think papering over the cracks is underrated yeah oh
542
00:23:15.730 --> 00:23:16.950
yeah yo.
543
00:23:16.970 --> 00:23:20.150
Why don't you try and investigate the mould and keep
544
00:23:20.190 --> 00:23:21.210
building it.
545
00:23:21.769 --> 00:23:26.259
In just repaint it it'll be fine you know are
546
00:23:26.539 --> 00:23:28.079
you done at four though are you going are you
547
00:23:28.359 --> 00:23:30.980
having more or is four enough yeah I don't.
548
00:23:30.859 --> 00:23:34.299
Want her to die so I think four is definitely
549
00:23:34.319 --> 00:23:36.700
a lot and after the last one she's like I've
550
00:23:36.740 --> 00:23:40.910
nearly died there oh was it bad she's like it's
551
00:23:41.170 --> 00:23:45.480
I think every time it's a wondrous forward slash horrifying
552
00:23:45.519 --> 00:23:47.420
thing isn't it like when you really think about it
553
00:23:47.480 --> 00:23:50.390
it's fucking mad bro there's another person coming out of
554
00:23:50.410 --> 00:23:51.450
a person bro.
555
00:23:51.549 --> 00:23:52.490
This is mad shit.
556
00:23:55.519 --> 00:23:57.819
It's just funky. Even the first one was like, it's
557
00:23:57.880 --> 00:23:59.539
a bit much, that. Like, you know what I mean?
558
00:23:59.559 --> 00:24:01.980
Yeah, if you saw it on Game of Thrones and
559
00:24:02.019 --> 00:24:03.720
you didn't know about childbirth, you'd go, I think he's
560
00:24:03.769 --> 00:24:06.390
gone too far this show. That's mental.
561
00:24:06.430 --> 00:24:11.069
Bro, 100% bro, just like, you know what? The main
562
00:24:11.089 --> 00:24:13.259
thing that stressed me out when the nurse said it,
563
00:24:13.470 --> 00:24:15.410
when the nurse said it, it was just a little thing.
564
00:24:15.670 --> 00:24:17.849
And she's gone to me, oh, it's going to be
565
00:24:17.890 --> 00:24:22.450
a lot of mucus. I was going, ugh. I've got
566
00:24:22.559 --> 00:24:25.200
a number of mucus like that. It's just coming out
567
00:24:25.220 --> 00:24:28.140
of your lungs. You're getting antibiotics. You're going on the ventilator.
568
00:24:28.319 --> 00:24:30.079
You might have told me that all bare mucus just
569
00:24:30.220 --> 00:24:32.470
flooding the floor up. It's very stressful for me. So
570
00:24:32.509 --> 00:24:34.309
I have to bless her. She needs to hold off.
571
00:24:35.589 --> 00:24:37.890
How were you in L.A. with him? Because, you know,
572
00:24:37.930 --> 00:24:40.240
you're full of beans, very laughy and jokey, but it
573
00:24:40.480 --> 00:24:43.240
is serious, isn't it? Did you struggle with that?
574
00:24:43.279 --> 00:24:46.599
When we was in L.A., it was like a semi-lockdown still,
575
00:24:46.619 --> 00:24:50.589
isn't it? So everyone, I think, as a parent and
576
00:24:51.009 --> 00:24:52.930
whether you're a carer or whatever it is, I've been
577
00:24:53.009 --> 00:24:55.789
quite used to people are under your feet all the time,
578
00:24:55.809 --> 00:24:58.650
isn't it? Like, you know, that's just something. Even people
579
00:24:58.869 --> 00:25:01.210
who are like, yeah, I've got mates who are like, yeah,
580
00:25:01.289 --> 00:25:03.619
parenting's okay. But I like my alone time. Even they
581
00:25:03.640 --> 00:25:05.180
were like, look, we've got to get on with it.
582
00:25:05.420 --> 00:25:08.539
Kids are here. Let's kill the pandemic. Fucking hell. But
583
00:25:08.839 --> 00:25:10.880
I better be nice to them. So when we were
584
00:25:10.900 --> 00:25:13.990
in L.A., for a little bit, we kind of felt
585
00:25:14.130 --> 00:25:16.269
isolated because for the first time we were away from
586
00:25:16.329 --> 00:25:20.799
like this big my mates, her mates, sisters, social circle.
587
00:25:21.259 --> 00:25:26.349
But we stayed in this quite like. it's archetypal thing
588
00:25:26.369 --> 00:25:27.069
they do they put you.
589
00:25:27.029 --> 00:25:29.630
In like well this is like Hollywood and this is
590
00:25:29.650 --> 00:25:31.480
where this guy lives and that guy lives and we're
591
00:25:31.500 --> 00:25:33.980
like I don't even fuck about it I don't even
592
00:25:34.000 --> 00:25:37.779
know who he is so when we got there we
593
00:25:37.819 --> 00:25:40.619
stayed in that area didn't like it it was you
594
00:25:40.640 --> 00:25:43.430
felt kind of isolated and when you start getting to
595
00:25:43.470 --> 00:25:46.549
know the city a bit you realize that the areas
596
00:25:46.569 --> 00:25:47.150
that are like.
597
00:25:48.589 --> 00:25:50.470
Affluent where they want you to stay that they think
598
00:25:50.529 --> 00:25:53.759
are cool. You're physically looking down on all of the
599
00:25:53.819 --> 00:25:55.539
poverty in LA. It's mad.
600
00:25:55.579 --> 00:25:59.240
The homelessness is crazy, isn't it? And Rob, it's horrible,
601
00:25:59.299 --> 00:25:59.500
isn't it?
602
00:25:59.500 --> 00:26:01.079
Because when you're standing on the top of one of
603
00:26:01.119 --> 00:26:04.539
these like swanky places where people live and you are
604
00:26:04.660 --> 00:26:07.289
physically looking down on some of the poorest people on
605
00:26:07.309 --> 00:26:09.990
planet earth, it was horrible. And like the kids were like,
606
00:26:10.029 --> 00:26:12.190
we don't really like this. So we moved to another
607
00:26:12.210 --> 00:26:14.809
part of LA where there was a big Latino community
608
00:26:14.869 --> 00:26:19.599
and And, yo, we felt fully at home. Grandmas, granddads
609
00:26:19.700 --> 00:26:22.920
packing out the yard. Eight people in the house. And
610
00:26:22.960 --> 00:26:24.599
when we moved in there, we got a little house
611
00:26:24.640 --> 00:26:27.960
in between this community. That's when our LA thing really
612
00:26:28.000 --> 00:26:30.079
took off. My kids would run next door, play with
613
00:26:30.099 --> 00:26:33.759
their kids. That just felt so much more comfortable for us.
614
00:26:33.869 --> 00:26:37.990
Do you find that with four, I can't imagine you
615
00:26:38.609 --> 00:26:44.089
as a disciplinarian. You don't strike me as someone... I mean...
616
00:26:44.970 --> 00:26:46.069
Are you measured?
617
00:26:46.089 --> 00:26:46.869
Have you got rules?
618
00:26:47.049 --> 00:26:48.349
Or you just, how does it work?
619
00:26:48.809 --> 00:26:53.150
Joshy, this is something I thought as well. Sometimes you've
620
00:26:53.170 --> 00:26:55.130
got a comedian coming up, this lady.
621
00:26:55.390 --> 00:26:57.910
I suppose you're a teacher as well. So you're used
622
00:26:57.950 --> 00:26:58.549
to it, right?
623
00:26:58.829 --> 00:27:02.359
If it's always like more positive vibes and everyone's laughing
624
00:27:02.390 --> 00:27:06.160
and joking and stuff. Yeah. Like when that tone shift comes,
625
00:27:06.579 --> 00:27:09.099
there's a real feeling of like... Oh, fuck, yeah. Oh,
626
00:27:09.140 --> 00:27:12.640
my God. And if the undercurrent is, oh, look at
627
00:27:12.680 --> 00:27:17.099
your dad, this... fat little like he's always laughing all
628
00:27:17.119 --> 00:27:19.920
the time and now fucking look he's fucking there in
629
00:27:19.960 --> 00:27:22.579
the kitchen depressed and that it's like oh shit i
630
00:27:22.599 --> 00:27:24.900
better change my ways look i really fucked up the
631
00:27:24.940 --> 00:27:27.880
whole context with my daddy or and you know for their.
632
00:27:27.640 --> 00:27:29.759
Mom as well yeah yeah even.
633
00:27:29.680 --> 00:27:31.599
Including you guys how do the rest of the family
634
00:27:31.619 --> 00:27:33.500
obviously you're super proud of it but are you like
635
00:27:34.339 --> 00:27:36.440
when your kid can do something much better than you
636
00:27:36.660 --> 00:27:38.539
it's a bit stressful isn't it.
637
00:27:42.230 --> 00:27:45.490
I've got that with drawing and my daughter. She'll ask
638
00:27:45.529 --> 00:27:48.289
me to draw stuff because she's really into drawing. And
639
00:27:48.369 --> 00:27:50.910
she draws with her... Rose can draw and Rose's mum's
640
00:27:50.950 --> 00:27:52.980
an artist. So they can draw stuff with her and
641
00:27:53.039 --> 00:27:56.240
show her how to draw stuff. I'm so shit at drawing.
642
00:27:57.019 --> 00:27:58.599
To the point where we'll draw on the same piece
643
00:27:58.640 --> 00:28:01.859
of paper. And then normally when she's drawing with Rose
644
00:28:01.900 --> 00:28:03.380
or whatever, you can tell which is which.
645
00:28:03.880 --> 00:28:04.700
But we're literally.
646
00:28:04.789 --> 00:28:07.329
And this is as much a reflection on me. It's
647
00:28:07.450 --> 00:28:09.890
of a level. And so Rose will come in and
648
00:28:09.910 --> 00:28:12.890
she can't tell the difference between what my daughter is
649
00:28:12.930 --> 00:28:15.710
for is drawn and I've drawn. It's fucking pathetic.
650
00:28:15.809 --> 00:28:17.730
I think it's a good thing when you're young to
651
00:28:17.970 --> 00:28:20.470
work out what you're not naturally really good at and
652
00:28:20.509 --> 00:28:23.309
just bin it off. And something you've got an inclination
653
00:28:23.369 --> 00:28:25.279
to and just hammer that because you only need one
654
00:28:25.359 --> 00:28:27.839
or two things you can do. No one wants, you know,
655
00:28:27.880 --> 00:28:29.420
no one wants a jack of all trades.
656
00:28:29.819 --> 00:28:31.920
But she's not gone to school yet, and she's already
657
00:28:31.980 --> 00:28:36.380
worked out that her dad isn't, you know, isn't infinitely
658
00:28:36.440 --> 00:28:39.519
perfect and good at stuff, which it should take kids
659
00:28:39.619 --> 00:28:41.109
longer than four.
660
00:28:41.529 --> 00:28:44.289
I think mine knew early doors, to be honest. Do
661
00:28:44.329 --> 00:28:45.809
your kids watch the stuff you do, guys?
662
00:28:46.349 --> 00:28:51.069
Yeah, like a little bit. I think the one I
663
00:28:51.190 --> 00:28:54.950
enjoyed most is quite Man Like Moby and stuff. But
664
00:28:55.930 --> 00:29:00.220
apart from that, whether it be my mission, they're obviously,
665
00:29:00.720 --> 00:29:03.069
and they say, like, look, mate, we're proud of what
666
00:29:03.089 --> 00:29:07.710
you're doing. where we've all come thus far. But it's really, like,
667
00:29:07.809 --> 00:29:11.190
quite normal at home. And there's always, like, a million
668
00:29:11.650 --> 00:29:13.369
other things to chat about. You know what I mean?
669
00:29:13.390 --> 00:29:14.609
Like, there's always.
670
00:29:14.430 --> 00:29:16.849
Something going off at school or with their cousins or
671
00:29:16.869 --> 00:29:20.549
with their mates. Like, recently, I'm late to the party, but, like,
672
00:29:20.769 --> 00:29:23.670
I got involved in Fortnite with them towards the end
673
00:29:23.730 --> 00:29:26.750
of summer holiday. And they're all too young to be
674
00:29:26.769 --> 00:29:32.140
playing it, technically. But I quite liked... Wiggy the one
675
00:29:32.180 --> 00:29:35.690
doing all like the Kamehameha moves in the corner yeah
676
00:29:35.910 --> 00:29:37.910
it's the first time I've ever really seen him aggressive
677
00:29:38.190 --> 00:29:40.740
so I quite like I quite like the fact that
678
00:29:41.140 --> 00:29:44.829
he's on the computer too young and like blood pressure
679
00:29:44.849 --> 00:29:47.069
going up a couple of swears slip out I don't
680
00:29:47.109 --> 00:29:48.289
even mind you know what I mean.
681
00:29:48.369 --> 00:29:50.450
It's good to see someone do it I do love
682
00:29:50.470 --> 00:29:53.490
seeing them like competitive or passionate about something. You know,
683
00:29:53.509 --> 00:29:55.750
when they're really into something, it's quite nice to see
684
00:29:55.769 --> 00:29:57.109
they've got a bit of fire in their belly.
685
00:29:57.130 --> 00:29:59.089
A hundred percent, bro. And so like, I kind of
686
00:29:59.109 --> 00:30:02.259
got into, I kind of got into that with them.
687
00:30:02.299 --> 00:30:03.940
But when it comes to like stuff that I do
688
00:30:03.980 --> 00:30:07.220
as a career, I actually find it really comforting that
689
00:30:07.299 --> 00:30:10.460
everyone's like, All good? I'm like, yeah, all good. Sound,
690
00:30:10.480 --> 00:30:12.960
let's get on with life. That's really what it's like.
691
00:30:13.339 --> 00:30:15.420
Would you let them watch your stand-up? You're going to
692
00:30:15.440 --> 00:30:19.009
the Harold Pinter Theatre in September 21st to the 23rd.
693
00:30:19.039 --> 00:30:22.289
You can get your tickets now. Doing your, well, it's
694
00:30:22.309 --> 00:30:24.829
a brand new live stand-up show. It's your first one
695
00:30:24.970 --> 00:30:25.670
in three years.
696
00:30:26.029 --> 00:30:27.130
Yeah, I don't know why I'm doing that.
697
00:30:27.289 --> 00:30:30.589
I'll be honest.
698
00:30:31.940 --> 00:30:32.400
It's soon.
699
00:30:32.460 --> 00:30:33.369
It's a couple of weeks.
700
00:30:33.630 --> 00:30:35.910
Oh, fucking no, mate. I know.
701
00:30:36.230 --> 00:30:37.210
Have you done warm-up gigs?
702
00:30:37.230 --> 00:30:43.359
I haven't done nothing, mate. Listen, I just told the truth.
703
00:30:43.400 --> 00:30:45.519
I've been playing Fortnite last five weeks with the kids
704
00:30:45.740 --> 00:30:47.460
till like 2 a.m. That's what I've been doing. So
705
00:30:47.519 --> 00:30:50.859
if the material is around like aim bots and people
706
00:30:50.920 --> 00:30:53.759
who cheat for V-books, it'll be a banger of a show, mate.
707
00:30:54.049 --> 00:30:56.349
If it ain't about that, then good luck.
708
00:30:56.650 --> 00:31:01.289
Oh, guys, I've just Google imaged it, mate. It's absolutely beautiful.
709
00:31:01.549 --> 00:31:03.329
It's an hour and 20 minutes long. Do you know that?
710
00:31:03.849 --> 00:31:04.430
Fucking hell.
711
00:31:04.430 --> 00:31:11.309
20 quid a ticket, though. Pretty good value. I think
712
00:31:11.349 --> 00:31:12.630
that'll be a great show.
713
00:31:12.710 --> 00:31:16.190
In the West End, that is absolutely excellent value.
714
00:31:16.250 --> 00:31:17.529
21st, 22nd, 23rd of September.
715
00:31:18.150 --> 00:31:20.210
Thank you. This is the angle we're going with. You see,
716
00:31:20.230 --> 00:31:23.029
this is the reason why I chose to do these shows,
717
00:31:23.089 --> 00:31:26.509
because we're doing tickets at the most competitive rate, the
718
00:31:26.549 --> 00:31:28.609
most affordable rate with what's coming in at the moment.
719
00:31:29.069 --> 00:31:32.539
And the people that I represent, lads, okay, I'm giving
720
00:31:32.579 --> 00:31:34.720
them an opportunity to feel a little slice of the
721
00:31:34.759 --> 00:31:37.630
West End. Yes. A little slice of it. But at
722
00:31:37.779 --> 00:31:41.599
an incredibly competitive rate, despite the fact that I'm going
723
00:31:41.619 --> 00:31:43.900
to be talking shit about Fortnite and that for an
724
00:31:43.920 --> 00:31:44.500
hour and 20.
725
00:31:44.500 --> 00:31:44.880
Yeah.
726
00:31:45.059 --> 00:31:46.059
It doesn't matter. We're there.
727
00:31:46.099 --> 00:31:50.299
Exactly. And if you're not like, you know, from Cov
728
00:31:50.380 --> 00:31:52.059
or repping where you're from and you're sort of a
729
00:31:52.079 --> 00:31:54.640
bit of a posho in central London, you can come
730
00:31:54.660 --> 00:31:59.630
and support. a new up-and-coming act from Coventry, Taken Over
731
00:31:59.650 --> 00:32:00.190
the West End.
732
00:32:00.589 --> 00:32:01.029
Wow.
733
00:32:01.069 --> 00:32:01.450
Yes.
734
00:32:01.710 --> 00:32:05.240
God, where are you guys? You on the PR. My God.
735
00:32:05.960 --> 00:32:06.519
Exactly.
736
00:32:07.220 --> 00:32:07.940
My God.
737
00:32:07.980 --> 00:32:10.740
Well, what's your homecoming gig? Because whenever I do Coventry,
738
00:32:10.759 --> 00:32:12.519
it's always at the universities, the main gig.
739
00:32:12.740 --> 00:32:14.529
Oh, yeah, the Warwick.
740
00:32:15.109 --> 00:32:17.730
the Warwick that's the main one they send it to
741
00:32:17.750 --> 00:32:20.349
what's your big theatre there in Coventry the Wicca Arena.
742
00:32:20.029 --> 00:32:23.240
They're nice yeah they're nice people at the Warwick Arts
743
00:32:23.299 --> 00:32:25.460
and that but it ain't Warwick that's a different place
744
00:32:25.759 --> 00:32:28.059
exactly it's in the middle isn't it yeah it's a
745
00:32:28.059 --> 00:32:30.950
bit weird like you've got like Belgrade you've got this
746
00:32:30.970 --> 00:32:35.200
place called It really pops. It ain't a massive room.
747
00:32:35.220 --> 00:32:38.490
It's like 600 or whatever. But it's called a Rialto.
748
00:32:38.569 --> 00:32:40.930
And that's like proper in the end. So you get
749
00:32:41.009 --> 00:32:42.910
all of the mad lads. You get all of the
750
00:32:42.970 --> 00:32:45.569
crazy biscuits. And everyone comes together. And that's a brilliant
751
00:32:45.589 --> 00:32:47.450
room to do. If you can, next time you're in Carve,
752
00:32:47.869 --> 00:32:48.750
do the Rialto.
753
00:32:49.130 --> 00:32:50.950
Oh, that looks amazing as well. I've just looked at that.
754
00:32:50.990 --> 00:32:51.599
What a venue.
755
00:32:52.099 --> 00:32:55.019
Yeah, it's like, you know, some legends have gone through there.
756
00:32:55.160 --> 00:32:56.980
Oh, you should film a special in there.
757
00:32:57.259 --> 00:32:59.039
Yeah, I'd love that. You know, it's got like a
758
00:32:59.059 --> 00:33:01.839
creaky vibe. They've put like the pot... stuff all over
759
00:33:01.859 --> 00:33:02.380
this but.
760
00:33:02.420 --> 00:33:05.539
That looks nicer than harold pinter's there does it really
761
00:33:05.980 --> 00:33:07.720
not from the outside though it looks rough as shit
762
00:33:07.740 --> 00:33:10.759
but inside looks nice actually sorry i'm looking at i'm
763
00:33:10.779 --> 00:33:12.900
looking at the one in hang on i'm looking at
764
00:33:12.920 --> 00:33:14.980
the one in california i'm sorry.
765
00:33:14.619 --> 00:33:21.150
It's not that nice yeah i've just looked at how
766
00:33:21.170 --> 00:33:27.740
it ain't as nice I like it.
767
00:33:27.769 --> 00:33:31.609
I'd look at the California one, though. The California one's unbelievable.
768
00:33:32.230 --> 00:33:35.190
The Coventry one's all right. It's decent. But yeah, did
769
00:33:35.210 --> 00:33:36.490
you think I was going a bit over the top?
770
00:33:36.890 --> 00:33:39.829
Yeah, I wasn't. It's your podcast. I wasn't going to
771
00:33:39.849 --> 00:33:41.630
start casting you out, but I was like, fuck you now.
772
00:33:41.670 --> 00:33:46.460
He likes Rialto, doesn't he?
773
00:33:46.779 --> 00:33:49.019
The California one's unbelievable, though, Gus.
774
00:33:49.359 --> 00:33:51.759
He's unbelievable. I can't even find a picture of it.
775
00:33:53.019 --> 00:33:56.069
Where's a picture of it? What, the Rialto Coventry? No,
776
00:33:56.089 --> 00:33:58.769
I've seen the Coventry one. That came up when I
777
00:33:58.809 --> 00:34:02.589
googled Rialto Coventry. Rialto South Pasadena. How the hell did
778
00:34:02.609 --> 00:34:06.579
you think that was in Coventry, Rob? Look, I'm looking
779
00:34:06.630 --> 00:34:10.980
at pictures of this. It's in America.
780
00:34:11.179 --> 00:34:12.280
It's in America, yeah.
781
00:34:13.019 --> 00:34:15.880
I mean, that's as simple as I can say.
782
00:34:15.900 --> 00:34:18.000
That is a theatre that is in America.
783
00:34:18.019 --> 00:34:18.760
Sorry, I got it wrong.
784
00:34:19.030 --> 00:34:19.360
Oh, dear.
785
00:34:19.659 --> 00:34:22.570
Do your kids have any sort of aspiration to theatre
786
00:34:22.590 --> 00:34:25.940
or performing? Was it all fighting?
787
00:34:27.420 --> 00:34:30.119
Not that they've really... I'll tell you what they've all
788
00:34:30.159 --> 00:34:33.369
told me, which is weird, isn't it? Because the more
789
00:34:33.409 --> 00:34:35.670
visual stuff is like the acting and stuff. But they've
790
00:34:35.849 --> 00:34:38.690
all told me, the older three, that they want to
791
00:34:38.710 --> 00:34:40.650
try stand-up. And that makes you a little bit proud,
792
00:34:40.690 --> 00:34:44.300
doesn't it? It's like, oh, that they want to try it.
793
00:34:44.329 --> 00:34:46.769
So maybe they are watching it on YouTube when I
794
00:34:46.809 --> 00:34:48.929
do it or whatever. Or maybe, to be honest with you,
795
00:34:48.949 --> 00:34:51.940
because it's the one that is still quite pure, when
796
00:34:51.960 --> 00:34:54.289
I come home and I'm like, oh that was sick
797
00:34:54.329 --> 00:34:56.670
like that gig in this place maybe they see oh
798
00:34:57.230 --> 00:34:59.670
shit that's the one he's really into and so they're
799
00:34:59.690 --> 00:35:01.170
kind of like yeah we want to catch those vibes
800
00:35:01.190 --> 00:35:04.289
so yeah they've all said they want to try standing would.
801
00:35:03.860 --> 00:35:06.539
You go and watch would you find that stressful i'll be.
802
00:35:06.480 --> 00:35:08.300
Heckling the shit out of them bro.
803
00:35:10.820 --> 00:35:13.119
Are you vocal when you watch them do sport and
804
00:35:13.139 --> 00:35:14.599
stuff do you get involved.
805
00:35:15.500 --> 00:35:23.300
Uh a little bit Dino is their mum their mum
806
00:35:23.340 --> 00:35:25.320
is probably way more than me even on sports day
807
00:35:25.559 --> 00:35:28.039
on sports day and stuff like she'll always be the
808
00:35:28.219 --> 00:35:30.869
one like well you know it's still like dad's race
809
00:35:31.590 --> 00:35:34.570
she'll jump into like mum's doing it and dad's she's
810
00:35:34.590 --> 00:35:36.150
like a bit of a I don't know mate she
811
00:35:36.190 --> 00:35:40.230
releases some kind of endorphins that we don't even know
812
00:35:40.269 --> 00:35:42.489
they're after time so she really she takes all that
813
00:35:42.510 --> 00:35:44.860
stuff kind of seriously i'm just happy to see them
814
00:35:45.420 --> 00:35:47.139
do them do you know what i mean so it's
815
00:35:47.159 --> 00:35:51.769
good did you do the dad's race no dino does
816
00:35:51.789 --> 00:35:55.639
that my missus does that oh fair enough look i
817
00:35:55.659 --> 00:35:58.059
tell you the truth i tell you the truth is
818
00:35:58.179 --> 00:36:00.300
the same for all three of us yeah because if
819
00:36:00.340 --> 00:36:02.079
you do get caved in it and you get beat
820
00:36:02.440 --> 00:36:04.699
then like on the on the on the whatsapp group
821
00:36:04.739 --> 00:36:08.579
the family whatsapp group they'll be like oh funny but
822
00:36:08.599 --> 00:36:09.739
you fucking can't.
823
00:36:09.480 --> 00:36:14.079
Run how involved are you with the school dads do
824
00:36:14.099 --> 00:36:15.840
you do you go for drinks and stuff or you
825
00:36:16.000 --> 00:36:16.460
swerve it.
826
00:36:17.199 --> 00:36:21.800
No, I mean, a little bit, but, like, yeah, not
827
00:36:21.880 --> 00:36:23.920
too much. I'll say sound to everybody. You know what
828
00:36:23.980 --> 00:36:25.920
it is? I'm a bit of an old soul, so
829
00:36:25.940 --> 00:36:28.480
whenever someone's granddad comes and picks them up, I'll spend
830
00:36:28.519 --> 00:36:29.599
loads of time chatting to the granddad.
831
00:36:30.059 --> 00:36:32.440
I chat to the granddad. There's a granddad who drops
832
00:36:32.500 --> 00:36:34.059
off his kid at the same school. I'm always chatting
833
00:36:34.079 --> 00:36:35.800
to him. I think, do you know what it is?
834
00:36:35.820 --> 00:36:38.679
I think when you're a comedian and you're self-employed, your
835
00:36:38.719 --> 00:36:40.639
day's a bit floatier because you sort of choose what
836
00:36:40.659 --> 00:36:43.280
you do, and sometimes you're really busy, sometimes you're not.
837
00:36:43.320 --> 00:36:44.699
And I feel like I've got more in common with
838
00:36:44.739 --> 00:36:47.949
retired people. than people that are working a nine to five.
839
00:36:48.579 --> 00:36:50.099
It's one of the saddest things I've ever heard, Rob.
840
00:36:55.179 --> 00:36:58.820
The 35-year-old man or whatever you are, hanging out on
841
00:36:58.880 --> 00:37:02.360
park benches, sharing a packet of Fox's Glacier Mints with
842
00:37:02.400 --> 00:37:05.480
an 80-year-old, talking about when the world was a better place.
843
00:37:05.500 --> 00:37:07.340
Retired people have got less to prove, haven't they? They're
844
00:37:07.360 --> 00:37:08.159
just sort of chilled.
845
00:37:09.400 --> 00:37:12.380
I've genuinely found that. People who are your age are
846
00:37:12.400 --> 00:37:16.519
always like, what's going to work? But the granddad, the
847
00:37:16.579 --> 00:37:20.369
few that I talk to, it's always about like... oh
848
00:37:20.409 --> 00:37:23.289
fucking what psi shall i put in my tire and
849
00:37:23.329 --> 00:37:24.949
it's like oh i know i know that.
850
00:37:27.230 --> 00:37:29.170
Or they're quite happy to slag people off because they
851
00:37:29.250 --> 00:37:30.969
don't care they haven't got full skin in the game
852
00:37:30.989 --> 00:37:33.599
yeah you know i mean if you're the grandparent dropping
853
00:37:33.619 --> 00:37:35.139
off at school you're not fully involved so you can
854
00:37:35.159 --> 00:37:35.940
slag everyone off.
855
00:37:36.099 --> 00:37:39.760
Yes yes listen we've unlocked a magical part of the
856
00:37:39.780 --> 00:37:41.320
school room mate neglect.
857
00:37:41.070 --> 00:37:43.429
Yeah which is i think as well they're just so
858
00:37:43.449 --> 00:37:45.650
happy to have woken up that day.
859
00:37:48.730 --> 00:37:49.550
She's full of beans.
860
00:37:50.199 --> 00:37:53.659
And, yeah, the last question, what's the one thing that
861
00:37:53.679 --> 00:37:56.500
annoys you about the way your partner parents and what's
862
00:37:56.539 --> 00:37:59.099
the best thing about the way they parent? Is there
863
00:37:59.179 --> 00:38:00.719
one thing that just gets on your nerves that you
864
00:38:00.739 --> 00:38:02.800
don't really bring up anymore to stop arguments?
865
00:38:04.340 --> 00:38:07.340
Dino is just a good lad, you know. There's nothing.
866
00:38:07.820 --> 00:38:13.250
Good lad. She's really good. There's nothing I can really say. Like,
867
00:38:13.590 --> 00:38:17.360
she's just, all I say is this. In this combination
868
00:38:17.420 --> 00:38:21.500
of two fairly young people having four kids, my days,
869
00:38:21.519 --> 00:38:24.300
if she weren't about, we'd be in trouble. That's all
870
00:38:24.340 --> 00:38:24.659
I'll say.
871
00:38:24.719 --> 00:38:24.920
Yeah.
872
00:38:25.699 --> 00:38:25.940
Yeah.
873
00:38:26.400 --> 00:38:27.360
And what's the best thing?
874
00:38:28.179 --> 00:38:29.000
What about her?
875
00:38:29.500 --> 00:38:30.980
The way she parents, yeah. What's the best thing about
876
00:38:31.000 --> 00:38:31.500
her as a mum?
877
00:38:33.340 --> 00:38:36.360
Oh, I'll tell you what is funny. I do like,
878
00:38:37.000 --> 00:38:40.469
if one of the kids pisses her off, their lunchbox
879
00:38:40.489 --> 00:38:43.469
will be shit. She'll send them through with a shit lunchbox.
880
00:38:43.489 --> 00:38:47.510
That's funny. Yeah. And she'll take all of the mini
881
00:38:47.530 --> 00:38:49.969
rolls out. So they're like, yes, mini rolls. And when
882
00:38:49.989 --> 00:38:51.659
they get to school, they'll be like, Dad, there was
883
00:38:51.679 --> 00:38:53.179
a piece of bread and lettuce. I'll be like, yes,
884
00:38:53.199 --> 00:38:54.699
you're a bad man, Dino. You're a bad man.
885
00:38:57.699 --> 00:38:59.179
Great one to keep them on their toes.
886
00:38:59.500 --> 00:39:01.269
Absolutely perfect.
887
00:39:01.289 --> 00:39:02.730
That was brilliant. Thanks so much.
888
00:39:03.349 --> 00:39:07.210
Yo, lads, absolutely. It's been long overdue. So sorry that
889
00:39:07.230 --> 00:39:08.630
we didn't do it early, but thank.
890
00:39:08.469 --> 00:39:09.250
You so much.
891
00:39:09.269 --> 00:39:12.190
We wanted you from the start, but we finally snared you.
892
00:39:12.329 --> 00:39:14.920
We finally got you. And go and see Gaz at
893
00:39:14.960 --> 00:39:19.300
the Harold Pinter Theatre, 21st to 23rd of September. Tickets
894
00:39:19.340 --> 00:39:23.139
on sale now, www.atgtickets.com.
895
00:39:23.320 --> 00:39:23.800
Cheers, mate.
896
00:39:23.820 --> 00:39:24.360
That was great.
897
00:39:24.639 --> 00:39:25.619
Okay, lads. See you soon, man.
898
00:39:27.889 --> 00:39:30.929
That was Guz Khan, one of the most... naturally funny
899
00:39:31.010 --> 00:39:32.800
people you will ever meet.
900
00:39:32.880 --> 00:39:34.800
He properly it's just funny and he's just a funny
901
00:39:34.820 --> 00:39:37.059
bloke have you ever done a West End run like that.
902
00:39:37.179 --> 00:39:39.760
I did the Palladium but that doesn't count does it
903
00:39:40.380 --> 00:39:41.280
and that's not a run.
904
00:39:41.119 --> 00:39:43.079
No I was filming your special that was a bit
905
00:39:43.119 --> 00:39:43.699
different but.
906
00:39:43.800 --> 00:39:47.900
Yeah i'd like it appeals to me in that sense
907
00:39:47.920 --> 00:39:49.300
of it'd be nice wouldn't it just to go to
908
00:39:49.440 --> 00:39:51.280
it feel like you're going to work and like show
909
00:39:51.340 --> 00:39:52.119
off yeah.
910
00:39:51.969 --> 00:39:53.969
But you could do that just work in subway the
911
00:39:53.989 --> 00:39:56.409
thing with theaters though is like they're really pretty and
912
00:39:56.429 --> 00:39:59.190
beautiful but i think sometimes comedy audiences you like they
913
00:39:59.210 --> 00:40:01.150
feel a bit like scared to laugh because it's so
914
00:40:01.190 --> 00:40:03.070
fancy but then what i hate is when you're in
915
00:40:03.090 --> 00:40:05.449
the same theater and it's in a shit it's a
916
00:40:05.550 --> 00:40:07.760
shit play and they do one little crap pun and
917
00:40:07.780 --> 00:40:10.320
everyone goes oh Because it's been so boring.
918
00:40:10.360 --> 00:40:12.659
I'm like, that is not worthy of that laugh. You're
919
00:40:12.679 --> 00:40:13.679
just bored.
920
00:40:13.699 --> 00:40:17.010
People who laugh, people who laugh at plays, they're not funny.
921
00:40:17.030 --> 00:40:21.889
People who describe books as hilarious. I've never read a
922
00:40:21.929 --> 00:40:27.429
hilarious book. I've read books where I've laughed. I've never
923
00:40:27.829 --> 00:40:29.199
cried with laughter at a book.
924
00:40:29.239 --> 00:40:30.820
Don't forget to buy a parenting hell of a book.
925
00:40:31.000 --> 00:40:33.059
Don't forget to buy a parenting hell of a book.
926
00:40:33.099 --> 00:40:37.519
That is a funny book. And that's why we've written.
927
00:40:37.639 --> 00:40:41.789
Yeah, the first ever funny book. Yeah, so... Books can
928
00:40:41.809 --> 00:40:44.570
be funny, but when they're like tears rolling down my face,
929
00:40:44.889 --> 00:40:45.469
fuck off.
930
00:40:45.530 --> 00:40:48.889
Yeah, I know. I know some people do laugh easy.
931
00:40:50.030 --> 00:40:51.860
have you ever met someone like at a wedding where
932
00:40:51.900 --> 00:40:55.219
you say anything and they're like and like but they
933
00:40:55.280 --> 00:40:57.340
mean it you know this guy's a fucking i'm just
934
00:40:57.360 --> 00:40:58.739
gonna put him on a chain and bring him with
935
00:40:58.760 --> 00:41:01.480
me everywhere i go this guy's unbelievable.
936
00:41:00.800 --> 00:41:05.039
Um yeah i have met people like that i've been
937
00:41:05.079 --> 00:41:07.840
that at a wedding when i'm struggling for conversation with someone.
938
00:41:07.739 --> 00:41:09.869
Oh i really do laugh off shit banter just to
939
00:41:09.889 --> 00:41:13.239
try and slap on the shoulder and walk away Oh,
940
00:41:13.340 --> 00:41:13.719
my God.
941
00:41:13.760 --> 00:41:14.159
Good one.
942
00:41:14.179 --> 00:41:19.300
Is there a more stressful moment than approaching the seating
943
00:41:19.340 --> 00:41:21.260
plan at a wedding? Fuck it, Al.
944
00:41:21.360 --> 00:41:22.880
Oh, you've got to go in there first and move it.
945
00:41:23.030 --> 00:41:25.889
Anyway, go to the Harold Pinter Theatre on the 21st
946
00:41:25.909 --> 00:41:27.489
to the 23rd of September.
947
00:41:27.570 --> 00:41:29.929
And we'll see you Tuesday.
948
00:41:29.949 --> 00:41:31.730
Tuesday's more top-level bands.
949
00:41:32.010 --> 00:41:32.369
See you then.