S04 EP42: David Earl

WEBVTT
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Hello, I'm Rob Beckett.
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And I'm Josh Willicombe.
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Welcome to Parenting Hell, the show in which Josh and
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I discuss what it's really like to be a parent,
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which I would say can be a little tricky.
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So, to make ourselves, and hopefully you, feel better about
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the trials and tribulations of modern day parenting, each week
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we'll be chatting to a famous parent about how they're coping.
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Or hopefully how they're not coping.
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And we'll also be hearing from you, the listener, with
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your tips, advice and, of course, tales of parenting woe.
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Because, let's be honest, there are plenty of times when
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none of us know what we're doing. Hello, you're listening
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to Parenting Hell with... Max, can you say Rob Beckett?
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Rob Beckett. And can you say Josh Widdicombe? Josh Widdicombe.
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Thank you. There we go.
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That's one of my favourites. Yeah, it was nice, that,
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wasn't it? Here is my three-year-old son, Max. I've been
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waiting to record this for two years, but the lazy
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sod has only just started talking. From Craig, aged 35
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and a quarter. Doesn't say where he's from.
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Hello, Rob. Hello. How are you? How are you? Feeling
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a bit better?
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I'm all right, yeah.
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Yeah, I think I am, yeah. I didn't tell you
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about what I did in Leeds, did I? No. So
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when I was away gigging in Leeds, have you played
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the Grand Theatre in Leeds? I've definitely, I must have.
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It's beautiful, like a big dome. It goes back years. Actually,
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you can't really get comedy gigs in there because it's
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so packed out with like musicals or actual opera. I
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think I did some kind of City Hall or something. Yeah,
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so Leeds City Hall. Yeah, Varieties is beautiful as well.
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Leeds City Hall Varieties, you've done that gig. That's amazing.
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It's all red velvet chairs. That's a beautiful gig.
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No, that's the Leeds City Varieties and then there's a
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City Hall. Anyway, this is only of interest to people.
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who are across the touring itineraries.
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No i'd say if you go no no if you
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googled it's not a lincoln drill hall if you googled
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lincoln like if you google leeds city varieties that is
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an amazing oh that is it's a great venue it's
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it's a classic anyway well so i was in the
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grand which is the sort of bigger opera house room
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and anyway they give you a big book to sign
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have you ever signed this big book i don't know
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if you've done this gig anyway no big book comes
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out big old book big i'd say the biggest book
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i've ever seen yeah right I know Romesh is on
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the next. Basically, everyone that's performed there used to just sign,
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so it's got that.
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Yeah.
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I'll sign on it. The next person to sign this
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book is a prick, Rob Beckett, because I know Romesh
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is in the next night. Yeah, yeah. He signs it.
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The last person to sign this book is a big-tooth wanker, Romesh.
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Lovely.
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Great. What more do you want? I'm really normally used
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to boring messages like, great place to play. Anyway, all done.
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I find out that book dates back to 1949. What? What?
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It's been the same book that people have signed since 1949. Oh,
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my God, no. All the people that played it over
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the years. Charlie Chaplin. No. Charlie Chaplin signed that book.
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The next person to sign this is a little moustache tosser. Yeah,
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so that is bad, and I didn't really realise. Yeah,
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you've ruined history. 70 years old, that book. How big's
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the book?
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So big, mate.
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And it's really falling apart. Of course it is. They
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shouldn't use it anymore. How are they just adding pages?
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They were very confident about how that was all going
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to go, weren't they? Imagine being the first person to
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sign that.
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Come on now. You'll forget about this in a week. Well, yeah,
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because I didn't realise where I did the gig and
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then Joel Domet messaged me and went, oh, what a
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great venue that is. And I went, yeah, it's great.
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He went, yeah, did you sign the Charlie Chaplin book?
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And I was like, oh, no. Oh, no.
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Oh, no.
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Oh, no. That's the book, isn't it? And then I thought,
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you know what? Joel Domet signed it, so it's already
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been damaged enough. Oh, it's a lovely bit of business.
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Is that good? He won't mind. He doesn't mind. He
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doesn't listen. He doesn't listen. He does, actually. Yeah, he does, actually.
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His podcast's good, by the way, with his wife, Hannah.
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They do things they've never done before. Have a kid
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so we can get you on, for the love of God. Yeah,
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they'll have a kid soon, I reckon. Who's your money on?
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Hannah to have it. Who's your money on? Do you
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want to bet? I'll have a bet. I've got it
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in my veins after Ascot. I would happily bet on that, actually. Yeah,
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if you want to do that. Let's get that nailed down.
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I'm not interested in betting on that, no. What's going on, Scott?
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What's going on with your summer holidays and, like, kid stuff?
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Because we're getting into summer holidays now. Have you got
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stuff planned for the summer? Because do you have six
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weeks off? When's the last day of preschool? No, we don't,
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because she's still at nursery. So you've got full-time nursery.
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We got asked when we wanted our final day of nursery, though.
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Okay, so when are you going for it? The day
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before she goes to school. Yeah, we're not idiots. Really? Well,
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she goes to school on the Wednesday. Oh, so she
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finishes on a Friday, goes to a new school on
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the Wednesday. Yeah. What is that again? I know what
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you mean. I'm totally on your side. This is our
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last ever summer holiday, Rob. ever yeah true yeah true
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yeah because then you're going on holiday with her we've
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been on holiday because you've gone out it's your last
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time to we're going out we're going on holiday when
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it's out of season mate right yeah because that's her
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break then and then just keep preschool in august preschool
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yeah of course so when and when can your son
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go to that preschool what age.
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He's going to the preschool. He's going to nursery the
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week after she goes to school.
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We didn't want to do both the same week. So
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he'll be, what, 18 months? Yeah, a bit less. A
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bit less, maybe. Yeah. So is that five days a week? No. Two. Well,
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I didn't know they could go in that age. Yeah, well,
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it's nursery. They take them from six months at nursery. Oh,
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it's different. It's not preschool, is it? No. So we
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didn't do nursery. We did preschool. Yeah, now they're in
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from six months, Rob. Yeah, because I think... People have
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got to work. I think my youngest went in about
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two to preschool. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, because it's like the
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equivalent of having a childminder or... Very exciting. So in September,
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you're going to have two days a week where there'll
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be no children in your house. Are they going nine
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till six two days a week?
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She'll be in nine till 3.30, but she'll probably do
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an after school thing on the days he's there because
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he'll be doing the longer day, won't he?
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So maybe, yeah.
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Well, that's the thing, actually, because when they're in school,
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they're going to be in school less than they would
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be at the nursery. Don't pull that out on me. Well, look,
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this is about being parents. And as a parent, you
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will start to have your own life again. Yeah. And
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it's not really your own life, because you're still a
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parent having that life. Yeah, exactly. So it's how you
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get back into being a parent. How we get back
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into it. It's what you have to get. It's all
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right for you, because you're going to a class to
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do with Rose. So I know I'm going on this holiday,
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this stag do. And I'm going to have to, there's
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going to be some payback. Yeah. Because whatever happens, it's
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a little bit like we're using Ibiza for three nights.
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So she's going to have to have, what I think
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is best is booking a break for her so that
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you can then throw it back in her face. Yeah. Well,
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that's why I'm going to Glastonbury with Rose. That's the thing.
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It's absolute. I cannot take my wife to a stag do.
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No, that would be weird.
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That's, you know, that would be odd. Right. Well, should
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we bring on our guest? Yeah. Here's our guest. David Earl,
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welcome to the podcast. We're very excited to have you on.
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We're big fans. Thanks for having me. We are.
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Big fans of your podcast. Big fan of your film
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that we won't... We haven't seen it. But we won't
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come to it.
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No, no, no. You might hate it. I love the trailer.
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You might hate it. I like all your other work
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and your podcasting. But for the listeners who don't know Q,
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let us know what your set up at home with
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kids is. How many kids you got, David? You don't
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really talk about your family that much, do you? This
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is going to be tough. Okay, this is going to
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be tough. I do.
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I do.
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Yeah, but you've got to film to vlog. It's how
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life works, mate. I've got three boys. Boy A is 20. Yeah,
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boy B is seven, nearly seven. Boy C is nearly five. Right, okay.
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Do you name your... Well, I know you name your kids,
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but do you mention their names? No, I just say
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son and daughter. We just say it by their ages.
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And actually, I think that's better from a podcast point
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of view because then you can... If you go, oh,
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you know, so-and-so started shitting on the floor, if you
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say the 20-year-old, that's a much more interesting story. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Right,
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so he had quite a big gap then? He had
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a big old gap, didn't he?
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LAUGHTER What's it like having a 20-year-old, then? I'll tell
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you what it's like when they get older. You think,
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what's my role?
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Yeah. What's my purpose now? And now he's advising me.
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And I feel like a complete prat when I'm at
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a room, because he's quite mature and confident.
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So I'm like, all right, what's my role? So, yeah,
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I don't know what my role is.
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What is your role? You still don't know?
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No. I don't know. I try and be wise, but
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I have no wisdom. I try and... Do you? No.
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Well, I've got young kids, so I don't need to
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be wise.
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We're not at the wise stage yet. But I'm a
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big fan of your podcast you do with Joe Wilkinson, Chatterbix.
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It's on Patreon. And you do an episode near enough
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every day when you're on the series with that, which
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is quite full on. But it's weird. Because when I
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listen to it, you always sound like... You're really honest
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on it, which I really like. You always sound a
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bit like... panicked about something i'm not sure what you
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should be doing and so i don't know how much
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of that is really you just isn't that everyone i
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mean well yeah no but no but not everyone lets
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it out kind of thing do you know what i
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mean and he's.
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Honest about it maybe i shouldn't have done that no.
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I think he's really good and i think you know
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because we that's what we talk about and it's not
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knowing what we're doing and stuff but yeah it must
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be everyone knows what.
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They're doing they've got they've all got their direction they
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know exactly where they're heading to and i don't know
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what I'm doing.
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I'm flailing around every day.
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Do you try and give your kids the illusion of.
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Knowing what you're doing? Yeah, Danny's going down to the
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office to record Chazabix. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I mean, they're
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too young.
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Although they started to ask questions now about what I do.
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What do I do? I don't know what I do.
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but also as well like you're like you're younger kids
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or your older kid might have seen it but your
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young he's you can't show him what you do on
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like you know afterlife or derrick no i mean it's
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so full-on so like are they aware of those sort
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of characters because you know that's very.
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So my eldest so he's obviously 20 now when he
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was seven we did this gig uh it was a
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fest i did this gig down at Some festival in Cornwall.
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I brought him on stage with me. I put a
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latex mask on his head. He was seven years old.
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And we were dancing together in front of like 300 people.
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And at the time I was like, oh, this is
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Graham being a great dad. And it's never spoken of.
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No one speaks of that at the moment. Is that
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00:11:07.759 --> 00:11:10.779
a bad thing to do as a dad? He's never
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00:11:10.820 --> 00:11:12.899
mentioned it since. No, we don't talk about that.
241
00:11:17.649 --> 00:11:20.330
Yeah, so he's just like this little man next to me.
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He's like this latex mask, this little, this bloke's head.
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So he was about three foot tall and he was
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sort of dancing with me. I thought it was good fun. Yeah,
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00:11:29.440 --> 00:11:31.299
he's no interest in showbiz.
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00:11:31.879 --> 00:11:35.059
Really? No. Does he like what you do? He does now.
247
00:11:35.080 --> 00:11:38.379
He used to hate it. Yeah, he had a real
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00:11:38.419 --> 00:11:40.789
problem with what I did. yeah well that's because you're
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00:11:40.809 --> 00:11:43.490
that character though that you did is like that you
250
00:11:43.509 --> 00:11:46.190
know it's a full-on character in the cinderella film i
251
00:11:46.210 --> 00:11:48.110
played a lot of pervert in it which is not
252
00:11:48.149 --> 00:11:50.409
ideal when you've got two kids i know like so
253
00:11:50.429 --> 00:11:51.809
if you're playing that it's sort of like a bit
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00:11:51.889 --> 00:11:53.490
creepy isn't it i mean it wasn't as it's like
255
00:11:53.509 --> 00:11:55.330
a kid's film so it wasn't as full-on as the
256
00:11:55.350 --> 00:11:57.190
stuff you did but yeah it must be funny when
257
00:11:57.210 --> 00:11:59.789
you're 15 and your dad's doing that the worst.
258
00:11:59.610 --> 00:12:02.769
Because i i did a character called uh steve cumberland
259
00:12:02.809 --> 00:12:04.029
who's kind of like.
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A combo i loved combo well he didn't The problem
261
00:12:09.289 --> 00:12:11.830
with Combo was, because you did it on YouTube. I know,
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00:12:11.850 --> 00:12:13.549
that's the problem. It looked a lot like you. It
263
00:12:13.580 --> 00:12:15.639
looked like that just could be who you are. But obviously,
264
00:12:15.659 --> 00:12:17.679
it's a comedy character. But because it looked so much
265
00:12:17.740 --> 00:12:20.120
like you and you were so good at playing it,
266
00:12:20.480 --> 00:12:22.700
it looked real. Well, that was the problem. So I
267
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put it on. I just didn't think ahead.
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I didn't think about the repercussions of him being at school,
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00:12:27.100 --> 00:12:30.419
secondary school. His mates might have said, if my dad
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00:12:30.440 --> 00:12:32.080
had done that, can you imagine your dad doing that?
271
00:12:32.399 --> 00:12:34.460
I know, but it's so funny. The weird thing is
272
00:12:34.480 --> 00:12:36.240
it's so funny and it's such a good character and
273
00:12:36.279 --> 00:12:38.480
it's really good. It's not like something you did that
274
00:12:38.519 --> 00:12:41.080
was crap. But yeah, even if it is really good,
275
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if your dad's comedy character is playing a bit of
276
00:12:43.259 --> 00:12:47.190
a prat... Well, I deleted all the videos from YouTube. Oh,
277
00:12:47.210 --> 00:12:49.009
did you? Because I was trying to find them recently
278
00:12:49.049 --> 00:12:51.409
to show someone. No, I'm not having that hour in
279
00:12:51.450 --> 00:12:55.409
the world. Because of your son. Yeah, one of the reasons, yeah.
280
00:12:55.929 --> 00:13:01.470
And because I was embarrassed to... I love it. I
281
00:13:01.470 --> 00:13:04.389
tend to make stuff and then destroy it and move on.
282
00:13:05.049 --> 00:13:09.730
So does that not exist on any hard drive anywhere? Yo.
283
00:13:10.190 --> 00:13:16.230
You've got it. No, I don't think so. Yeah, but
284
00:13:16.250 --> 00:13:18.789
that's strange then, because that's like you just get rid
285
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of it, but then I suppose if he's unhappy, you've
286
00:13:20.710 --> 00:13:22.370
got to really... Yeah, I didn't want that pushed down
287
00:13:22.409 --> 00:13:25.090
his throat. I didn't want his... I put one video up.
288
00:13:25.860 --> 00:13:29.059
It was so funny. I fucking love gumbo. And someone said, oh,
289
00:13:29.120 --> 00:13:31.620
I know his son. And they wrote a comment. I
290
00:13:31.620 --> 00:13:36.450
was like, oh, no, this is horrible. Oh, God. Yeah. Yeah.
291
00:13:36.570 --> 00:13:38.549
I haven't got to that point of worrying about.
292
00:13:38.649 --> 00:13:42.149
I'm panicked now. I'm telling you now. How old are yours?
293
00:13:42.789 --> 00:13:46.710
Six and four. Oh, OK. But I've been filmed getting
294
00:13:46.730 --> 00:13:50.460
a colonic. Have you? Yeah. With Romesh. What's that like?
295
00:13:50.519 --> 00:13:55.259
I've had a. Horrible. Is it? Yeah. I thought the
296
00:13:55.299 --> 00:13:58.710
tube going up your ass would be the problem.
297
00:13:59.110 --> 00:14:00.370
It isn't.
298
00:14:00.450 --> 00:14:03.769
It's the amount of water in your belly. They just
299
00:14:03.789 --> 00:14:12.600
fill you up. with water and then that and then
300
00:14:12.620 --> 00:14:14.399
basically fill you up and then try and then it
301
00:14:14.440 --> 00:14:16.259
just and so it fills up in one tube and
302
00:14:16.299 --> 00:14:18.679
it flushes out the other but then you're left with
303
00:14:18.720 --> 00:14:20.919
gallons of water in your belly and they go sit
304
00:14:20.940 --> 00:14:22.720
on that toilet and i was sat in the toilet
305
00:14:22.980 --> 00:14:25.340
and i was like i'm fine i don't need to
306
00:14:25.360 --> 00:14:27.120
sit on the toilet it's not a problem and they
307
00:14:27.139 --> 00:14:28.399
were like sit in the toilet and i went to
308
00:14:28.419 --> 00:14:30.820
get up when i'm fine and sit i went everything's
309
00:14:30.940 --> 00:14:33.200
out and then literally a second later it was like
310
00:14:34.720 --> 00:14:37.820
this fucking like amazonian rainfall coming out my ass how
311
00:14:37.860 --> 00:14:40.299
does it how does it feel after that well i
312
00:14:40.399 --> 00:14:42.389
think it's fully recovered now but there was a good
313
00:14:42.429 --> 00:14:47.929
couple of months where you could still feel the breeze
314
00:14:48.330 --> 00:14:51.220
when i shower i could feel things down there like.
315
00:14:51.049 --> 00:14:53.259
It wasn't right what do you mean what do you
316
00:14:53.320 --> 00:14:54.860
mean i'd had two tubes up the ass and it
317
00:14:54.919 --> 00:14:55.740
isn't used to that.
318
00:14:59.539 --> 00:15:02.419
Wow. And you had a cameraman pointing at your anus. No,
319
00:15:02.470 --> 00:15:04.649
the cameraman didn't go in. It wasn't in a space. No,
320
00:15:04.690 --> 00:15:07.309
but where was he in the room? So they were
321
00:15:07.350 --> 00:15:09.710
filming our faces. It was tastefully angled. Yeah, it was
322
00:15:09.730 --> 00:15:10.470
tastefully angled.
323
00:15:10.730 --> 00:15:13.840
See, now that, how do you say, yeah, I'm doing
324
00:15:13.879 --> 00:15:15.480
that when that comes through?
325
00:15:16.240 --> 00:15:18.200
Well, no, so basically it was my idea because the show.
326
00:15:22.190 --> 00:15:25.289
The other ideas i come up with were no no
327
00:15:25.350 --> 00:15:26.870
basically we were doing a show where we went to
328
00:15:27.789 --> 00:15:29.389
find out about basketball we got to go on the
329
00:15:29.429 --> 00:15:31.389
court of the staples center and i used to hate
330
00:15:31.429 --> 00:15:34.029
watching those shows where comedians travel the world and do
331
00:15:34.070 --> 00:15:36.850
amazing things i just sit in my shit flat with
332
00:15:36.870 --> 00:15:38.889
the ump so i said whenever we do this we
333
00:15:38.909 --> 00:15:41.649
need to do something that would make me go you
334
00:15:41.669 --> 00:15:43.850
know what i don't fancy that trip so on every
335
00:15:43.909 --> 00:15:46.250
show we do something that the audience wouldn't want to
336
00:15:46.269 --> 00:15:48.809
do Because it makes it easier to swallow seeing us
337
00:15:48.850 --> 00:15:52.379
do amazing stuff. Okay, okay. Because I'd rather just save
338
00:15:52.440 --> 00:15:54.360
up and go LA than have to have a tube
339
00:15:54.440 --> 00:15:57.519
up my arse on national telly. Yeah, yeah, okay. That's
340
00:15:57.559 --> 00:15:59.460
my idea. Romesh doesn't really like that. He'd prefer it
341
00:15:59.480 --> 00:15:59.860
the other way.
342
00:15:59.980 --> 00:16:03.340
And do you worry about your kids seeing that, Rob? No.
343
00:16:03.360 --> 00:16:05.710
Well, not now. Well, I didn't until I spoke to,
344
00:16:05.789 --> 00:16:07.909
you know, David about Combo.
345
00:16:07.990 --> 00:16:11.730
I'll tell you, the worst time, the hardest time for
346
00:16:11.769 --> 00:16:15.269
me is someone said to me when they hit secondary school,
347
00:16:16.139 --> 00:16:18.440
Within two weeks, everything changes.
348
00:16:19.120 --> 00:16:22.820
And it really does. Really? Within a month, you go, oh.
349
00:16:24.179 --> 00:16:28.919
Could you just, no. Well, this sort of worked yesterday.
350
00:16:31.269 --> 00:16:33.090
Could you just tell, no.
351
00:16:33.610 --> 00:16:35.629
So you have to find a new way of parenting.
352
00:16:35.690 --> 00:16:41.700
It's really hard. Oh, man. Also as well now, do
353
00:16:41.740 --> 00:16:43.879
you reckon could he beat you up in a fight?
354
00:16:44.299 --> 00:16:45.899
Oh yeah, he's got a fantastic body.
355
00:16:49.899 --> 00:16:52.960
In fact, I WhatsApped him yesterday and he had his
356
00:16:53.019 --> 00:16:53.700
top off.
357
00:16:53.639 --> 00:16:58.610
And I was just like... he's got a great set
358
00:16:58.649 --> 00:17:02.990
of pegs on him big strong boy yeah yeah so does.
359
00:17:02.909 --> 00:17:05.329
It does he work out like because obviously like when
360
00:17:05.390 --> 00:17:08.150
we were young i don't know but like it was
361
00:17:08.190 --> 00:17:10.680
like you it was but you'd be boozing and you'd
362
00:17:10.720 --> 00:17:12.220
be doing what you never go to the gym well
363
00:17:12.500 --> 00:17:14.799
but did you have you found that different generation they
364
00:17:14.819 --> 00:17:17.039
talk about the kids that are into yeah.
365
00:17:16.839 --> 00:17:20.609
They look after themselves i think they definitely uh He
366
00:17:20.630 --> 00:17:21.150
definitely does.
367
00:17:21.190 --> 00:17:25.170
I feel like they look after their bodies. Yeah. I mean,
368
00:17:25.250 --> 00:17:27.710
he came out of the sea. We went down to
369
00:17:27.730 --> 00:17:29.849
the beach last year. He came out of the sea.
370
00:17:29.869 --> 00:17:33.410
Like Daniel Craig. I was like, get me the camera, love.
371
00:17:33.549 --> 00:17:38.240
It's fantastic. Genetics.
372
00:17:38.559 --> 00:17:39.099
Proud of yourself.
373
00:17:39.140 --> 00:17:43.410
Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's what I could have been. What
374
00:17:43.430 --> 00:17:44.049
you could have won.
375
00:17:44.269 --> 00:17:48.470
I went where my dad really looked after himself. So
376
00:17:48.509 --> 00:17:49.849
what happened with you?
377
00:17:49.910 --> 00:17:56.240
Hang on a minute. Fit as a flea he was.
378
00:17:56.299 --> 00:17:59.640
And we went walking in Norway. And I was like
379
00:17:59.640 --> 00:18:01.960
23 and he was, I don't know, late 15s.
380
00:18:02.339 --> 00:18:04.259
We stopped to have like this picnic and he took
381
00:18:04.299 --> 00:18:06.400
his top off. Or we both went to take our
382
00:18:06.420 --> 00:18:08.380
tops off at the same time. And I looked at
383
00:18:08.400 --> 00:18:09.940
him and went, ah, fuck it, let's keep mine on.
384
00:18:11.680 --> 00:18:13.200
I'm surrounded by lovely bodies.
385
00:18:13.240 --> 00:18:13.579
You?
386
00:18:16.769 --> 00:18:18.269
No, I'm not swearing.
387
00:18:18.289 --> 00:18:19.490
I don't know if this is a long shot, if
388
00:18:19.539 --> 00:18:23.059
you follow Cristiano Ronaldo on Instagram. Oh, yeah. His son
389
00:18:23.140 --> 00:18:26.140
is fucking ripped. Oh, I don't think so. Josh, I
390
00:18:26.160 --> 00:18:29.720
don't think you should be talking about children's bodies. No,
391
00:18:29.799 --> 00:18:32.869
it's weird. He's got like this ripped 10-year-old son. It's
392
00:18:32.890 --> 00:18:36.869
weird looking at children's bodies. It is weird, you pervert. Yeah,
393
00:18:36.930 --> 00:18:37.490
it's weird.
394
00:18:37.890 --> 00:18:40.650
I'm not saying I follow him for his son. And
395
00:18:40.690 --> 00:18:43.299
so your son occasionally pops up on his Instagram.
396
00:18:43.319 --> 00:18:44.119
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
397
00:18:44.140 --> 00:18:46.640
And he's too ripped to be 10. It's weird.
398
00:18:47.019 --> 00:18:48.329
Yeah, it is weird.
399
00:18:48.349 --> 00:18:48.759
Moving on.
400
00:18:51.329 --> 00:18:52.750
From bodies. Yeah.
401
00:18:53.210 --> 00:18:55.869
You've moved to Devon. So you're bringing your two kids
402
00:18:55.910 --> 00:18:56.490
up in Devon.
403
00:18:56.730 --> 00:19:00.359
Yeah. So Naomi introduced me to Devon. Where were you?
404
00:19:00.430 --> 00:19:02.220
Where did you live? I'm from very near. So where
405
00:19:02.259 --> 00:19:05.660
do you live? I'm sort of near Totnes. Yeah.
406
00:19:05.779 --> 00:19:08.680
So I grew up in Haytor Vale near Bovey Tracy.
407
00:19:08.740 --> 00:19:13.440
Did you? Yeah. Really near. Oh, right. Okay. So what
408
00:19:13.460 --> 00:19:20.380
were those words, Josh? Haytor. Can you say that again? Like,
409
00:19:20.400 --> 00:19:23.730
you know, that's weird sort of gibberish. Yeah. Haytor Vale,
410
00:19:23.910 --> 00:19:27.890
which is near Bobby Tracy. So Naomi introduced me to
411
00:19:28.329 --> 00:19:31.309
this part of the world and I loved it. Yeah.
412
00:19:31.869 --> 00:19:35.750
And we took the boys down to Bantham Beach. Yeah. Yeah.
413
00:19:36.490 --> 00:19:38.400
And I was like, I just want to.
414
00:19:38.359 --> 00:19:42.160
Give them this childhood, you know, weekends down on the beach.
415
00:19:42.579 --> 00:19:45.299
Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I never thought he would.
416
00:19:45.440 --> 00:19:47.789
And then within, I think lockdown hit, we were like,
417
00:19:47.849 --> 00:19:48.730
fuck it, let's get out.
418
00:19:48.789 --> 00:19:51.369
Not that we were in the city. Where were you before?
419
00:19:51.390 --> 00:19:54.490
We were just in Sussex, but it was busy enough
420
00:19:54.549 --> 00:19:55.730
for me. Yeah.
421
00:19:56.170 --> 00:19:58.509
Have you been having to make new friends then?
422
00:19:58.730 --> 00:20:01.269
I haven't made any friends apart from Phil, my neighbour,
423
00:20:02.279 --> 00:20:05.720
who helped me. What's his body like? What's that? What's
424
00:20:05.740 --> 00:20:10.099
his body like? Good, actually, for a late 60-year-old. Yeah.
425
00:20:10.259 --> 00:20:12.259
Not half bad.
426
00:20:12.519 --> 00:20:18.650
Do you know what I've settled with my body, right,
427
00:20:18.670 --> 00:20:21.329
because I always put on weight easy, is I've settled
428
00:20:21.450 --> 00:20:23.410
on I'm not getting rid of my tits, I just
429
00:20:23.430 --> 00:20:24.029
want them hard.
430
00:20:24.750 --> 00:20:27.869
Right. How old are you? 36. Yeah, so you're in
431
00:20:27.890 --> 00:20:30.990
your prime. Oh, no. I was all right, I think.
432
00:20:31.009 --> 00:20:31.339
This is.
433
00:20:32.049 --> 00:20:35.799
I'm telling you, when you hit 40 odd, terrible. I mean,
434
00:20:35.819 --> 00:20:38.180
what I find hard, which I was going to ask you,
435
00:20:38.259 --> 00:20:42.690
is life. sort of the work-life balance with children and
436
00:20:43.160 --> 00:20:44.079
being self-employed.
437
00:20:44.339 --> 00:20:47.440
Do you struggle with that? Yeah, badly. Same here. That's
438
00:20:47.799 --> 00:20:51.359
one of the biggest difficulties of, you know, especially the
439
00:20:51.400 --> 00:20:53.220
way we work where it's either a feast or famine and,
440
00:20:53.660 --> 00:20:55.809
you know, you just have to... For example, your film
441
00:20:55.829 --> 00:20:59.210
has done really well. It won, was it the... All
442
00:20:59.250 --> 00:21:02.269
Viewers' Choice Award at Sundance London. Was it the Audience
443
00:21:02.289 --> 00:21:05.609
Choice Award? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, so it's won that award,
444
00:21:05.650 --> 00:21:07.730
which now you've got way more interest in the film.
445
00:21:08.210 --> 00:21:09.329
And it's like you had to go to... You was
446
00:21:09.349 --> 00:21:11.099
in America for the premiere in LA and you've been
447
00:21:11.150 --> 00:21:13.400
taken off to all these places. And you can't really
448
00:21:13.420 --> 00:21:17.140
plan for that sometimes, can you? No, and they obviously
449
00:21:17.160 --> 00:21:22.180
get upset when I leave. Yeah. And then... So you spend...
450
00:21:22.079 --> 00:21:24.099
So we spent a few days out there getting.
451
00:21:23.980 --> 00:21:27.059
Wined and dined and then you come back to, like,
452
00:21:27.099 --> 00:21:29.349
the bedsheets being pissed on and stuff.
453
00:21:30.569 --> 00:21:32.890
And it's a tricky... It's.
454
00:21:32.849 --> 00:21:36.950
Tricky adapting for 48 hours. But I really find that
455
00:21:37.210 --> 00:21:41.140
work-life balance really hard, just how much to work each day.
456
00:21:41.759 --> 00:21:42.140
Yeah.
457
00:21:42.700 --> 00:21:45.140
I think it's also when you work from home, you
458
00:21:45.180 --> 00:21:49.329
feel like every time you go upstairs or wherever you work,
459
00:21:49.849 --> 00:21:52.410
you feel like you're making an almost conscious decision to
460
00:21:52.470 --> 00:21:55.579
choose work over your family. Even though you've got to work,
461
00:21:56.059 --> 00:21:59.140
you know, but that can play into your mind, if
462
00:21:59.160 --> 00:21:59.819
that makes sense.
463
00:22:00.019 --> 00:22:02.920
Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, absolutely. When do you start
464
00:22:02.960 --> 00:22:06.220
in the morning? When do you start work? I don't know. No,
465
00:22:06.240 --> 00:22:09.119
I need to get this off my chest. Okay. Talk
466
00:22:09.240 --> 00:22:11.039
us through your day. Talk us through your day. It's
467
00:22:11.240 --> 00:22:13.039
a Monday, kids are in school. Talk us through your
468
00:22:13.079 --> 00:22:14.640
day with you and Naomi. So do you do the
469
00:22:14.740 --> 00:22:19.839
school run? Well, not now. We've started doing... I need
470
00:22:19.859 --> 00:22:21.960
to have a word with you about this. You cannot
471
00:22:21.980 --> 00:22:25.720
do an episode every day. You're not Zoe Ball. No,
472
00:22:25.799 --> 00:22:28.200
but I wanted to be Zoe Ball. That was the
473
00:22:28.240 --> 00:22:31.230
whole point. We all want to be Zoe Ball. That
474
00:22:31.269 --> 00:22:33.750
was the whole point. I wanted to do like a video,
475
00:22:34.250 --> 00:22:36.079
a vlog version. Yeah.
476
00:22:36.200 --> 00:22:38.980
Video diary, like, podcast version, so that you just saw
477
00:22:39.039 --> 00:22:40.079
all the nuts and bolts.
478
00:22:40.859 --> 00:22:44.039
Yeah. But Zobo has a producer that helps. Yeah, well,
479
00:22:44.059 --> 00:22:46.420
we've got one now, you know. Okay, sorry.
480
00:22:46.720 --> 00:22:48.789
So talk me through your day. Talk me through your day.
481
00:22:48.809 --> 00:22:52.049
It's Monday morning. What time are you getting up?
482
00:22:52.490 --> 00:22:55.589
Up at half six. Yeah. Same with you? Yeah. Yeah,
483
00:22:55.609 --> 00:22:57.710
it's about time they get up. But if I've been gigging,
484
00:22:57.750 --> 00:22:58.470
Lou will let me lie in.
485
00:22:58.769 --> 00:23:01.130
Okay, so today, up at half six, comes in, will
486
00:23:01.150 --> 00:23:02.170
you lick me in the ear?
487
00:23:02.369 --> 00:23:06.549
Yeah, sure, sure. I'll lick you in the ear. Genuinely. Yeah.
488
00:23:06.569 --> 00:23:10.069
So we do a bit of ear licking.
489
00:23:13.869 --> 00:23:19.670
That's just my wife, for God's sake.
490
00:23:19.890 --> 00:23:24.180
And then, would you make an animation with me? Yeah,
491
00:23:24.720 --> 00:23:27.119
I'd love to. I'd love to do the animation with you.
492
00:23:28.079 --> 00:23:31.759
Would you draw a stormtrooper? Fucking hell.
493
00:23:33.420 --> 00:23:37.000
It's mad isn't it yeah it's only 20 to 7
494
00:23:37.000 --> 00:23:41.220
yeah it is and then i have this thing where
495
00:23:41.599 --> 00:23:43.339
i so i might come down here about.
496
00:23:43.200 --> 00:23:45.869
Half eight but i have this thing where i go
497
00:23:45.900 --> 00:23:47.410
well you know if i was working in london if
498
00:23:47.430 --> 00:23:49.069
i'd get the train to london i'll be leaving at
499
00:23:49.130 --> 00:23:53.430
seven in the morning yeah yeah so i have this
500
00:23:53.509 --> 00:23:54.990
thing yeah do you do the school run or does
501
00:23:55.029 --> 00:23:56.650
naomi do you help them get basically you get up
502
00:23:56.670 --> 00:23:57.869
and help them get out of the house.
503
00:23:57.710 --> 00:24:01.210
Yeah i normally make breakfast um And do a bit
504
00:24:01.230 --> 00:24:04.329
of that. But Nomi normally takes them to school.
505
00:24:04.509 --> 00:24:08.349
I went last week. But, yeah, now Chatterbix is sort
506
00:24:08.369 --> 00:24:10.869
of calming down. I can do stuff like that. Yeah.
507
00:24:10.890 --> 00:24:14.920
And you're basically straight on the podcast recorder, aren't you? God,
508
00:24:14.960 --> 00:24:20.839
I'm putting Chatterbix ahead of my children. That's terrible. Still. No,
509
00:24:20.859 --> 00:24:21.279
you're not.
510
00:24:21.339 --> 00:24:24.079
Because you've got to do it. Because, you know, it's
511
00:24:24.099 --> 00:24:24.599
your job.
512
00:24:24.880 --> 00:24:29.960
Yeah. Is it? Yeah, it is. It is. Yeah, it is. Yeah.
513
00:24:30.319 --> 00:24:32.619
But I have this guilt about being a real... Do
514
00:24:32.640 --> 00:24:35.740
you not have the guilt of being a really good parent?
515
00:24:36.000 --> 00:24:41.130
It's partly because your job is something that you nominally
516
00:24:41.430 --> 00:24:44.910
enjoy and is fun to do. I think if you
517
00:24:44.950 --> 00:24:48.839
were an accountant, you wouldn't be going... I'm putting account,
518
00:24:48.859 --> 00:24:52.000
not that there's, you know, maybe that there might be
519
00:24:52.019 --> 00:24:54.359
a fun job, but if you were doing a job,
520
00:24:54.400 --> 00:24:57.259
which you weren't a fan of, I think it'd almost
521
00:24:57.299 --> 00:24:59.460
be easier for you to justify it to yourself. Cause
522
00:24:59.480 --> 00:25:01.519
you'd go, I've got to do this for the, for
523
00:25:01.539 --> 00:25:02.359
the family.
524
00:25:02.079 --> 00:25:04.779
Yeah the way i deal with it is i totally
525
00:25:04.920 --> 00:25:08.180
shut off so when i'm working i'm not a good
526
00:25:08.279 --> 00:25:09.789
dad or a bad dad i'm not even a dad
527
00:25:09.809 --> 00:25:11.450
at that point i'm literally this is all i'm doing
528
00:25:11.890 --> 00:25:13.650
i just do this now and then flip that over
529
00:25:13.670 --> 00:25:15.809
when i'm with the kids i'm not thinking just have
530
00:25:15.829 --> 00:25:17.789
to just basically go like and when i go away
531
00:25:17.809 --> 00:25:19.190
for work i'm like well i'm in work mode now
532
00:25:19.210 --> 00:25:21.960
and that's just it and it's like then you could
533
00:25:21.980 --> 00:25:22.980
you have you have to do it and then it's
534
00:25:23.000 --> 00:25:25.160
sort of feast or feast or famine is self-employed i
535
00:25:25.180 --> 00:25:27.119
find is where you're either away loads and then you
536
00:25:27.140 --> 00:25:29.720
have like three weeks off out of nowhere and so
537
00:25:30.000 --> 00:25:32.109
just but what you're doing is you're getting more quality
538
00:25:32.150 --> 00:25:34.069
time with them than if you was getting every evening
539
00:25:34.089 --> 00:25:35.789
for a couple of hours but when i'm working i'm
540
00:25:35.809 --> 00:25:37.630
like i don't care like it's almost like that i
541
00:25:37.650 --> 00:25:39.849
just remove them from my brain and focus on the
542
00:25:39.910 --> 00:25:42.480
work and then i do that the opposite way when
543
00:25:42.500 --> 00:25:44.579
i'm with the kids and i just take the workout.
544
00:25:44.759 --> 00:25:48.019
But i have those famine moments i have uh well
545
00:25:48.039 --> 00:25:49.839
what am i doing next year well i've got to
546
00:25:49.859 --> 00:25:50.609
work harder.
547
00:25:51.819 --> 00:25:54.099
I have that as well. Yeah. Yeah.
548
00:25:54.500 --> 00:25:55.140
Yeah, of course.
549
00:25:55.180 --> 00:25:57.359
But you worrying about it when you're sat there on
550
00:25:57.380 --> 00:26:00.380
the beach isn't going to change it, is it? Yeah.
551
00:26:00.559 --> 00:26:02.579
I mean, I'm not quite as bad as I'm making out,
552
00:26:02.619 --> 00:26:05.140
but I'm pretty bad. Yeah, but that is hard because
553
00:26:05.160 --> 00:26:09.000
there is no security. There's no security of when you
554
00:26:09.019 --> 00:26:11.460
work self-employed. I mean, is that why you got the.
555
00:26:11.480 --> 00:26:13.900
I was a big fan of your My New Football
556
00:26:13.920 --> 00:26:16.859
Club podcast where you moved to Devon, obviously, and you
557
00:26:16.880 --> 00:26:19.720
got season tickets to Exeter and you got two for
558
00:26:19.759 --> 00:26:21.420
you and your boy. Was that a way of sort of...
559
00:26:21.980 --> 00:26:23.740
trying to bond with them as a younger kids like
560
00:26:23.779 --> 00:26:26.109
having a thing that you do every week yeah that
561
00:26:26.150 --> 00:26:28.269
way it's in the diary you know that you work
562
00:26:28.349 --> 00:26:31.470
your schedule around exit when exit a play at home
563
00:26:31.750 --> 00:26:33.029
that's when you and your boy go to.
564
00:26:32.990 --> 00:26:38.529
Football and that lasted 35 minutes because by half time
565
00:26:38.609 --> 00:26:41.579
it was like i don't want to come again Ah,
566
00:26:41.740 --> 00:26:42.880
I just bought your ticket.
567
00:26:43.039 --> 00:26:48.059
My son. For a year. Yeah. And you don't like it. Yeah, so.
568
00:26:48.319 --> 00:26:49.980
And then you had to start going on your own.
569
00:26:50.009 --> 00:26:52.789
I started going on my own, and I feel comfortable
570
00:26:52.809 --> 00:26:55.190
with that now. I didn't in the early days. Even
571
00:26:55.230 --> 00:26:58.089
more time away from the kids. Well, that's the thing now.
572
00:26:58.109 --> 00:27:00.529
So Saturday afternoons, I'm like, oh, I'm fucking off again.
573
00:27:00.549 --> 00:27:06.359
LAUGHTER Go to Exit City on my own.
574
00:27:06.440 --> 00:27:11.809
Yeah. LAUGHTER Yeah, you're right. So Naomi, my wife's like...
575
00:27:11.650 --> 00:27:13.279
And you can't stop it now because it's your job
576
00:27:13.319 --> 00:27:17.240
with the podcast. Exactly. You're in the right old pickle,
577
00:27:17.259 --> 00:27:25.380
aren't you? Fucking hell, it's hard work. See, I just
578
00:27:25.400 --> 00:27:28.430
feel like everyone's got it sorted out. No way at all.
579
00:27:28.440 --> 00:27:31.019
No one's got it sorted out. No one has got
580
00:27:31.079 --> 00:27:32.029
it sorted out.
581
00:27:32.250 --> 00:27:34.009
Everyone would look at you and think you've got it
582
00:27:34.049 --> 00:27:37.059
sorted out. You've been on, like, mega shows. Everyone knows you.
583
00:27:37.069 --> 00:27:38.710
Everyone loves your character. You've been on one of the
584
00:27:38.750 --> 00:27:42.220
biggest sitcoms ever, I think. Is it Afterlife's got, like...
585
00:27:42.740 --> 00:27:45.160
millions of views you're on that you've you've got your
586
00:27:45.220 --> 00:27:48.200
films won that Sundance award in London you're in LA
587
00:27:48.220 --> 00:27:49.420
at the premiere yeah.
588
00:27:49.279 --> 00:27:51.769
But these things last these things like you know you
589
00:27:51.789 --> 00:27:54.369
film it for seven days or you film it for
590
00:27:54.670 --> 00:27:56.410
four weeks and then you.
591
00:27:56.369 --> 00:27:58.170
Know forget about it and then you go I can
592
00:27:58.230 --> 00:28:05.670
only do Chazabix Everyone is looking at you as the
593
00:28:05.710 --> 00:28:09.769
person who's got it nailed. Well, don't. That's what I'm
594
00:28:09.829 --> 00:28:12.670
trying to say. No one's looking at me saying he's
595
00:28:12.730 --> 00:28:13.450
got it nailed.
596
00:28:13.730 --> 00:28:14.259
They are.
597
00:28:14.299 --> 00:28:19.740
Fucking hell. You've got an idyllic lifestyle. You're down in Devon.
598
00:28:19.759 --> 00:28:22.319
You go to the beach every weekend. Do you know what?
599
00:28:22.339 --> 00:28:24.640
When we moved down here, I said to Naomi, I
600
00:28:24.680 --> 00:28:26.460
was like, right, we're going to move down to Devon.
601
00:28:26.539 --> 00:28:28.140
How about we move down to Devon? I'll do some
602
00:28:28.180 --> 00:28:30.140
writing in the morning. I'll do a bit of Twitch
603
00:28:30.599 --> 00:28:30.859
and then.
604
00:28:30.799 --> 00:28:32.960
We'll go down the beach in the afternoon.
605
00:28:33.049 --> 00:28:37.130
Fantastic. Yeah. Okay. And now it's just not happened. It's not.
606
00:28:37.789 --> 00:28:38.730
Cause you're working too much.
607
00:28:38.750 --> 00:28:39.650
I'm working too much.
608
00:28:39.970 --> 00:28:42.170
And so when you did the film, how much, how
609
00:28:42.210 --> 00:28:44.569
did that work then? Were you away for a long time?
610
00:28:45.230 --> 00:28:48.700
Brian and Charles, the film we should say, which is, uh,
611
00:28:48.740 --> 00:28:51.430
where can people see it? Yeah. What's the score? It's
612
00:28:51.490 --> 00:28:55.500
released in the UK on July. Oh, it's on in
613
00:28:55.519 --> 00:28:58.519
Bromley on Wednesday. It's in the big cinemas. Don't worry
614
00:28:58.539 --> 00:29:00.299
about that. It's in the big ones, in the views. Yeah,
615
00:29:00.319 --> 00:29:02.259
it's in the views. No, it's in the big ones.
616
00:29:02.700 --> 00:29:05.410
That's good, isn't it? You have got it nailed. Look
617
00:29:05.450 --> 00:29:08.569
at you, you big fucking film director, film star down
618
00:29:08.630 --> 00:29:11.630
in Devon. We went to me and Rupert. You know Rupert?
619
00:29:11.690 --> 00:29:12.230
You know Rupert?
620
00:29:12.269 --> 00:29:12.990
Yes.
621
00:29:13.049 --> 00:29:15.349
We went to... He's the producer, I should say.
622
00:29:15.369 --> 00:29:18.660
Yeah, he's the producer. We went to the opening in
623
00:29:19.279 --> 00:29:22.109
LA on Friday. I don't know what day it was,
624
00:29:22.529 --> 00:29:23.289
but last week.
625
00:29:23.650 --> 00:29:25.259
And we thought, oh, let's just go and watch it.
626
00:29:25.279 --> 00:29:27.859
Let's just go and sit in the cinema. So we
627
00:29:27.880 --> 00:29:32.019
went at 4.40 in the afternoon. And massive great cinema
628
00:29:32.039 --> 00:29:34.809
with about 100 screens. We found our screen went in there.
629
00:29:35.529 --> 00:29:38.910
And they're about, with about six or seven people. I
630
00:29:38.910 --> 00:29:40.930
was like, where are they? Why are they watching this?
631
00:29:41.089 --> 00:29:43.190
So we sat on the back. Who are you? Why
632
00:29:43.369 --> 00:29:46.710
are you here? So they sat down. I really wanted
633
00:29:46.730 --> 00:29:48.170
to just go up to them and go, that's me,
634
00:29:48.210 --> 00:29:52.869
that is. That's me, that is. A hell of a day,
635
00:29:52.930 --> 00:29:56.109
that film. Yeah, it would have been weird, wouldn't it?
636
00:29:56.140 --> 00:29:59.000
You're watching a... Yeah, you just pop up. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
637
00:29:59.759 --> 00:30:01.339
But it's a weird experience.
638
00:30:04.779 --> 00:30:06.500
Give us the premise of the film.
639
00:30:06.700 --> 00:30:12.930
It's a lonely man who's an inventor. Tough stretch, was it,
640
00:30:12.940 --> 00:30:17.660
the acting for that? Do you know what? It's so me.
641
00:30:17.819 --> 00:30:19.680
Just when I watch it now, I go, oh, right,
642
00:30:19.740 --> 00:30:20.359
that's just you.
643
00:30:20.380 --> 00:30:22.400
That's just you.
644
00:30:24.329 --> 00:30:26.309
Everything he makes doesn't quite work.
645
00:30:26.509 --> 00:30:31.529
Yeah, that's you as well, David. um and then one
646
00:30:31.589 --> 00:30:33.329
day he invents this robot and.
647
00:30:33.289 --> 00:30:36.289
It comes to life and jackpot you got yourself the
648
00:30:36.390 --> 00:30:37.109
film boys.
649
00:30:40.130 --> 00:30:42.930
It must be pretty exciting because brian is a character
650
00:30:42.970 --> 00:30:46.390
is the character that i saw you doing stand-up with
651
00:30:46.410 --> 00:30:48.859
when i first met you in 2008 right and it's
652
00:30:49.119 --> 00:30:53.079
now it's now like a huge film that is exciting.
653
00:30:52.849 --> 00:30:56.289
It is really exciting. It's really exciting. It doesn't have
654
00:30:56.309 --> 00:30:58.069
to be. You don't have to say it's exciting. You
655
00:30:58.109 --> 00:31:00.119
can say it's not. It's actually the worst thing that
656
00:31:00.150 --> 00:31:03.059
ever happened to you, if you want. It's like a
657
00:31:03.099 --> 00:31:11.299
fucking nightmare, mate. Yeah, it's really super exciting. LAUGHTER It's
658
00:31:11.460 --> 00:31:15.519
super exciting. No, it is exciting. I mean, you are going, well,
659
00:31:15.559 --> 00:31:17.819
how long is this going to last and what's next?
660
00:31:17.960 --> 00:31:23.799
I think that might be the problem. LAUGHTER Have you
661
00:31:23.819 --> 00:31:26.200
written the sequel? How's that going? I mean, I was
662
00:31:26.259 --> 00:31:27.160
saying to Naomi.
663
00:31:27.180 --> 00:31:30.369
Can you imagine if this film just.
664
00:31:30.380 --> 00:31:33.029
Blew up, if it did really well? That would be stressful.
665
00:31:34.009 --> 00:31:38.309
Careful what you wish for. Like, that would do my
666
00:31:38.349 --> 00:31:43.299
head in. Like, literally, yeah. Any situation would be bad
667
00:31:43.339 --> 00:31:45.980
for you. Yeah, I mean, you know. So you don't
668
00:31:46.000 --> 00:31:47.920
want to flop. You don't want a huge mega hit.
669
00:31:48.079 --> 00:31:50.400
I don't want to flop. No, I'd like a mega hit,
670
00:31:50.480 --> 00:31:54.299
but I'd like to keep a distance. Yeah, okay. Remain
671
00:31:54.339 --> 00:31:57.099
detached from it. Yeah. It's quite hard when you're starring
672
00:31:57.160 --> 00:31:58.640
it and you wrote it.
673
00:32:00.720 --> 00:32:02.390
You just make these things to have a bit of
674
00:32:02.450 --> 00:32:06.029
fun and pay your mortgage, don't you? And then there
675
00:32:06.089 --> 00:32:07.849
are sort of repercussions if they do all right.
676
00:32:09.309 --> 00:32:10.430
Has your son seen the film?
677
00:32:10.789 --> 00:32:14.480
My eldest has, um, yeah, he came to the premiere
678
00:32:14.519 --> 00:32:17.200
in London last week. And, um, cause I based a
679
00:32:17.240 --> 00:32:18.619
lot of Charles on him.
680
00:32:19.259 --> 00:32:22.109
All right. And sort of parenting him and him kind
681
00:32:22.890 --> 00:32:26.140
of like the teenage years. And, uh, Yeah. I mean,
682
00:32:26.180 --> 00:32:28.759
he wouldn't have come five years ago. No way would
683
00:32:28.779 --> 00:32:30.460
he have watched that film. That must be lovely, though,
684
00:32:30.480 --> 00:32:33.700
that you've come full circle from deleting videos on YouTube
685
00:32:33.900 --> 00:32:35.759
and then now he's at the premiere of your film.
686
00:32:35.779 --> 00:32:37.660
Because there must have been a point where you thought, well,
687
00:32:37.720 --> 00:32:39.500
what if my career, and I have to do it
688
00:32:39.559 --> 00:32:41.640
now because this is what I do, is going to
689
00:32:41.660 --> 00:32:44.450
just completely drive me away from him. And then that
690
00:32:44.470 --> 00:32:46.069
didn't happen, obviously, because he's at the premiere. It must
691
00:32:46.109 --> 00:32:47.859
be a good feeling. Oh, it's such a nice feeling.
692
00:32:47.890 --> 00:32:50.180
Because he, like, during the film, he sort of leant
693
00:32:50.220 --> 00:32:52.440
into me and said, that's me and you. We did that.
694
00:32:53.319 --> 00:32:56.720
I was like, yeah, I know, yeah. That must have
695
00:32:56.740 --> 00:32:57.400
been amazing.
696
00:32:57.519 --> 00:33:01.309
Yeah. Teenage years are hard. Did you cry when he
697
00:33:01.329 --> 00:33:03.990
said that? I cry loads about shit like that.
698
00:33:05.450 --> 00:33:06.630
I can imagine you're a crier.
699
00:33:06.650 --> 00:33:10.769
Me? Yeah. Oh, yeah, I'm a big crier. Yeah.
700
00:33:10.910 --> 00:33:13.069
Do you know, I remember him just sleeping when he
701
00:33:13.089 --> 00:33:15.150
was about three or four and just staring out and
702
00:33:15.170 --> 00:33:20.240
just crying my eyes out. Just, do you get that?
703
00:33:20.440 --> 00:33:22.019
Yeah, no, I know exactly what you mean.
704
00:33:22.400 --> 00:33:25.759
But he said to me, because the teenage years are hard,
705
00:33:25.779 --> 00:33:28.039
and he said, if you haven't shown me so much love,
706
00:33:28.640 --> 00:33:29.980
Christ knows what would happen to me.
707
00:33:30.599 --> 00:33:32.779
So my advice to you boys is just keep loving them.
708
00:33:34.339 --> 00:33:37.049
And admiring their bodies. Well, less of that. I've got
709
00:33:37.069 --> 00:33:39.529
two daughters. Less of that.
710
00:33:39.650 --> 00:33:40.349
Yeah.
711
00:33:40.390 --> 00:33:46.750
Less of that for dads of daughters. I'll take half
712
00:33:46.769 --> 00:33:48.009
of that advice. Yeah.
713
00:33:48.049 --> 00:33:51.339
But it's a tricky time because they really push away
714
00:33:51.430 --> 00:33:53.480
from you and you've just got to keep hanging on.
715
00:33:53.720 --> 00:33:55.500
And how do you deal with that?
716
00:33:55.660 --> 00:33:59.299
I tell you, there's a book that really helped called... Fuck,
717
00:34:00.279 --> 00:34:02.319
what was it called? Wait, my daughter's just shouting out
718
00:34:02.339 --> 00:34:08.320
the window. Here we go. Hello. That's nice. You all right? Yeah,
719
00:34:08.579 --> 00:34:10.400
but we're all quite busy. You've got a mega hit
720
00:34:10.420 --> 00:34:13.519
on your hands. Yeah. He's got fucking... He's got Dermot
721
00:34:13.539 --> 00:34:16.880
O'Leary after this. Have you? No. No, I was going
722
00:34:16.900 --> 00:34:21.260
to say you. Can't bloody book him, mate. That's why
723
00:34:21.280 --> 00:34:24.980
you're here. Yeah. We got him. Just like that. You've
724
00:34:25.000 --> 00:34:26.659
had him on Chatterbix, haven't you? You've had Ricky Gervais
725
00:34:26.699 --> 00:34:27.239
on Chatterbix.
726
00:34:27.260 --> 00:34:27.519
Yeah, yeah.
727
00:34:27.579 --> 00:34:28.199
Big dogs.
728
00:34:28.449 --> 00:34:28.800
Yeah, yeah.
729
00:34:29.619 --> 00:34:31.510
Um so what's the book called david to help you oh.
730
00:34:31.730 --> 00:34:34.929
It's something like um so i thought i forgot that
731
00:34:34.949 --> 00:34:36.230
what we were talking about i thought rob had just
732
00:34:36.250 --> 00:34:39.989
gone into promo mode again what's the book you're promoting
733
00:34:40.889 --> 00:34:43.219
it's the book something like get out of my life
734
00:34:44.000 --> 00:34:46.099
but before you do that can you take me.
735
00:34:46.059 --> 00:34:49.139
Into town that's something like i mean it's a long
736
00:34:49.179 --> 00:34:52.070
time sounds like an old school chat line is 10p
737
00:34:52.300 --> 00:34:55.969
ring your mom Is that a ladder in your tights?
738
00:34:56.929 --> 00:34:58.349
Get out of my life. I'm going to try and
739
00:34:58.369 --> 00:35:00.980
find it. Yeah, that is a difficult Google. Get out
740
00:35:01.000 --> 00:35:02.639
of my life. What was the other one?
741
00:35:03.179 --> 00:35:04.800
Get out of my life, but first could you drive
742
00:35:04.840 --> 00:35:06.780
me and Cheryl to the mall? A parent's guide to
743
00:35:06.800 --> 00:35:07.739
the new teenager.
744
00:35:07.960 --> 00:35:11.349
Is that it? Is that it? We found it. Oh, no, no, wait.
745
00:35:11.530 --> 00:35:13.690
That's the American version. The British version is get out
746
00:35:13.710 --> 00:35:15.769
of my life, but first take me and Alex into town.
747
00:35:16.050 --> 00:35:18.530
There you go. By Tony Wolfe and Susan Franks.
748
00:35:18.630 --> 00:35:20.340
I mean, it might be shit, but at the time
749
00:35:20.389 --> 00:35:23.019
I needed support and that was my support.
750
00:35:23.380 --> 00:35:27.329
Does your child have to be called Alex? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, okay,
751
00:35:27.409 --> 00:35:29.869
it won't work otherwise, all right. No, no. Could I
752
00:35:29.889 --> 00:35:31.510
not just drop the name over in my own head? Well,
753
00:35:31.530 --> 00:35:32.829
you could do, but I'm not sure it'll be all right.
754
00:35:32.849 --> 00:35:36.210
That's a bit messy, too difficult. Okay, so that helped you,
755
00:35:36.250 --> 00:35:37.510
didn't it, dealing with teenagers?
756
00:35:37.710 --> 00:35:40.909
Yeah, it's the hardest time. Well, I had a really
757
00:35:40.969 --> 00:35:44.000
tricky time. I mean, you're smiling now. You think you
758
00:35:44.039 --> 00:35:48.340
know it all, you're young kids, but come back to
759
00:35:48.380 --> 00:35:49.139
me in seven years.
760
00:35:50.510 --> 00:35:52.710
What's the name of that book, David? Oh, for you
761
00:35:52.730 --> 00:35:54.210
to take the piss out of me. No, no, I
762
00:35:54.269 --> 00:35:55.630
actually want to fucking Google it, man.
763
00:35:58.289 --> 00:36:02.320
Are you worried about your younger kids becoming teenagers? Are
764
00:36:02.340 --> 00:36:04.619
you trying to really enjoy this young period now?
765
00:36:05.699 --> 00:36:08.699
Oh, I know that time when the magic goes. That'll hurt.
766
00:36:09.119 --> 00:36:11.590
That'll hurt, yeah. When's the magic going? What age are
767
00:36:11.639 --> 00:36:14.650
you looking at? I would say around.
768
00:36:14.670 --> 00:36:16.170
Yeah, it's when they go to secondary school.
769
00:36:16.769 --> 00:36:18.110
Right. So around about.
770
00:36:19.090 --> 00:36:22.530
I found the years 12 to 14 the hardest, I think,
771
00:36:22.570 --> 00:36:25.199
because they're just babies, and yet they will want to
772
00:36:25.239 --> 00:36:25.829
start hanging up.
773
00:36:26.579 --> 00:36:28.659
Yeah, and the hormones are going all over the place
774
00:36:28.699 --> 00:36:30.900
as well. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
775
00:36:31.380 --> 00:36:33.840
Plus, Rob's got a four-year-old daughter who's already a tearaway,
776
00:36:33.900 --> 00:36:35.179
so that's going to come earlier.
777
00:36:35.199 --> 00:36:38.559
I think she'll be about eight when she's... Yeah, oh, God.
778
00:36:38.920 --> 00:36:42.059
Because they wake up... Obviously, the kids wake up really early, and, oh,
779
00:36:42.260 --> 00:36:44.739
fucking hell, get out of my room, and you feel
780
00:36:44.780 --> 00:36:48.360
like that. And then at 14... They're going, Dad, get
781
00:36:48.500 --> 00:36:51.000
out of my room. Yeah, and that's when you go, oh,
782
00:36:51.039 --> 00:36:58.400
it's nine o'clock. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Fuck off, Dad. Yeah. Yeah,
783
00:36:58.420 --> 00:37:01.059
it's hard. So where's he now? Is he working? Is
784
00:37:01.099 --> 00:37:03.800
he studying? He's working. Are you in Devon? No, he's
785
00:37:03.840 --> 00:37:08.219
in Sussex. He's working. I wanted to give you a
786
00:37:08.239 --> 00:37:09.599
bit of advice, some more advice.
787
00:37:09.639 --> 00:37:10.159
Yeah, go on.
788
00:37:10.300 --> 00:37:13.019
Yeah, please. Because it's all been really upbeat so far.
789
00:37:13.280 --> 00:37:16.340
How are your bedtimes? They're all right.
790
00:37:17.760 --> 00:37:21.699
They're quite slow quite slow like they last a long
791
00:37:21.760 --> 00:37:24.800
time we start at 6 15 and we finish at about.
792
00:37:24.699 --> 00:37:27.469
Eight yes so we i do a thing called crazy
793
00:37:27.510 --> 00:37:32.050
times and it really works go on okay so obviously
794
00:37:32.070 --> 00:37:34.110
they don't want to go to bed yeah i've now
795
00:37:34.230 --> 00:37:37.570
turned going to bed into like a bit of fun
796
00:37:37.760 --> 00:37:39.400
for half an hour so they're always.
797
00:37:39.300 --> 00:37:41.519
Like can we do crazy times yeah i'll do crazy
798
00:37:41.559 --> 00:37:45.679
times jesus So I'm making these little games. So one
799
00:37:45.699 --> 00:37:48.179
game's called Red Ant, Black Ant. One game's called The
800
00:37:48.820 --> 00:38:02.260
Iron Fist. The Iron Fist? The iron claw. The iron claw. Okay,
801
00:38:02.280 --> 00:38:05.449
that's better. One game's called bum cake. So blah, blah, blah.
802
00:38:05.469 --> 00:38:07.369
So we play these games. Whoa, whoa, whoa.
803
00:38:07.389 --> 00:38:08.449
You just bum cake?
804
00:38:09.309 --> 00:38:11.610
You can't give over bum cake after iron claw. They're
805
00:38:11.630 --> 00:38:14.230
a shopkeeper. They're a shopkeeper. I go into their shop
806
00:38:14.269 --> 00:38:16.329
and I'm looking for food. I go, have you got
807
00:38:16.349 --> 00:38:17.949
a pump bum cake? And they go, no, no, no,
808
00:38:17.969 --> 00:38:19.909
I've got a pump cake. I go, what's that behind
809
00:38:19.929 --> 00:38:22.699
the counter? And they go, oh, yeah, I've got a
810
00:38:22.699 --> 00:38:24.719
pump cake. Why don't you give me your bum cake?
811
00:38:24.760 --> 00:38:26.619
And then I sort of squeeze their bum and stuff.
812
00:38:30.380 --> 00:38:35.340
This is all right to put out. It's the 20-year-old
813
00:38:35.360 --> 00:38:42.449
you're putting to bed. This is the big guy. So anyway,
814
00:38:42.469 --> 00:38:45.389
we do these crazes after 20, 25 minutes. I go,
815
00:38:45.429 --> 00:38:47.869
that's in the crate. And they go, sure. Right, so
816
00:38:47.889 --> 00:38:50.030
you just go mad with them for a bit. You
817
00:38:50.050 --> 00:38:52.030
just go for it. Yeah, and they might get out
818
00:38:52.050 --> 00:38:54.829
of bed and go, more crate. More crazy. And we
819
00:38:54.849 --> 00:38:58.510
won't have it tomorrow night. Right, OK. And they back off.
820
00:38:59.269 --> 00:39:01.289
So create that bum cake one is to squeeze your
821
00:39:01.329 --> 00:39:03.329
bum where the bum cakes. What's the iron claw?
822
00:39:04.210 --> 00:39:07.210
You put your claw above their stomach and you just,
823
00:39:07.929 --> 00:39:10.429
as soon as they make a noise, you just drop
824
00:39:10.489 --> 00:39:11.369
it and squeeze them.
825
00:39:11.969 --> 00:39:12.269
Nice.
826
00:39:12.289 --> 00:39:13.730
Ticklish, ticklish wise.
827
00:39:13.769 --> 00:39:14.769
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
828
00:39:14.909 --> 00:39:17.190
Red ant, black ant. You do an ant going up there.
829
00:39:17.210 --> 00:39:19.610
And that's just with your hand, not like a fake
830
00:39:19.699 --> 00:39:20.469
Abu Hamza claw.
831
00:39:20.840 --> 00:39:25.739
No, no, that's not. Red ant, black ant is just
832
00:39:25.800 --> 00:39:26.699
crawling up their arm.
833
00:39:26.760 --> 00:39:30.739
And I say like, what ants is called. up their arm?
834
00:39:32.260 --> 00:39:36.500
And they go, black ant. Red ant! And the red
835
00:39:36.599 --> 00:39:39.679
ant tickles them. It's good. Yeah, so you basically just
836
00:39:39.820 --> 00:39:41.949
embrace the crazy. So you just do pure, unadulterated kind
837
00:39:41.989 --> 00:39:45.250
of play. Yeah, because before we were like, oh, no, no, no,
838
00:39:45.269 --> 00:39:49.750
calm down. Fuck it. Let them play in bed. And
839
00:39:49.789 --> 00:39:51.429
they get it out of their system. So you're doing
840
00:39:51.449 --> 00:39:54.739
it with them after the bath, after pyjamas, and in bed.
841
00:39:54.750 --> 00:39:58.800
After bath, after book, in bed. Together or separate? Naomi's
842
00:39:58.860 --> 00:40:00.480
in one bed, I'm in the other.
843
00:40:00.500 --> 00:40:03.719
Right, and you're both doing that. Yeah, well, I'm doing
844
00:40:03.780 --> 00:40:04.099
it more.
845
00:40:04.960 --> 00:40:08.679
But once it's over, I'm telling you.
846
00:40:09.039 --> 00:40:09.360
Really?
847
00:40:09.619 --> 00:40:12.079
And how much is Naomi into crazy times?
848
00:40:12.480 --> 00:40:15.969
She doesn't like it so much. She sort of goes
849
00:40:16.010 --> 00:40:19.469
with it. If I'm away working, she's got to... Bring
850
00:40:19.510 --> 00:40:20.489
out the red ant, black ant.
851
00:40:20.570 --> 00:40:22.690
Yeah, yeah. Do you two ever do that? Do you
852
00:40:22.710 --> 00:40:24.289
ever do that to Naomi to get her to sleep?
853
00:40:24.530 --> 00:40:28.449
Bit of red ant, black ant? She's... No, don't actually. No. No.
854
00:40:28.849 --> 00:40:35.949
We do other stuff. LAUGHTER Bum cake. Yeah, we do
855
00:40:36.050 --> 00:40:37.869
way more bum cake. LAUGHTER Yeah.
856
00:40:37.949 --> 00:40:48.630
LAUGHTER How old are the young ones again?
857
00:40:49.630 --> 00:40:52.829
How old are the young ones? Yeah, six and four. Yeah,
858
00:40:52.869 --> 00:40:53.949
nearly seven, nearly five.
859
00:40:54.250 --> 00:40:54.989
Nearly seven, nearly five.
860
00:40:55.010 --> 00:40:57.010
Oh, yeah, that's the same as mine. It's such a
861
00:40:57.150 --> 00:41:00.210
fun age. Do yours play together nicely? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
862
00:41:00.880 --> 00:41:01.590
Makes such a difference.
863
00:41:01.610 --> 00:41:05.059
Honestly, I really, I'm constantly thinking about that moment where
864
00:41:05.079 --> 00:41:07.619
they go from childhood into sort of teen.
865
00:41:07.840 --> 00:41:10.440
That's a strange story. You're really worrying about it, aren't you?
866
00:41:10.639 --> 00:41:13.679
It's because the magic goes. And you'll be craving it.
867
00:41:13.679 --> 00:41:14.539
You'll be wanting it back.
868
00:41:15.300 --> 00:41:18.039
And did you properly appreciate it all this time then?
869
00:41:18.980 --> 00:41:22.530
No? Okay. I try to. I try to. I really
870
00:41:22.570 --> 00:41:23.010
try to.
871
00:41:23.070 --> 00:41:25.769
But, you know, life gets in the way. I try
872
00:41:25.809 --> 00:41:27.190
to capture those little moments.
873
00:41:27.829 --> 00:41:30.090
Yeah. But maybe it's because if you had a difficult
874
00:41:30.110 --> 00:41:32.510
time before, you're sort of anxious about it happening again.
875
00:41:32.530 --> 00:41:34.949
But I don't think you will. You're way more experienced
876
00:41:35.289 --> 00:41:37.130
and you know what you're doing a bit more now. Yeah.
877
00:41:37.550 --> 00:41:41.760
Plus, there's nothing in Devon. People grow up slower in Devon.
878
00:41:41.820 --> 00:41:44.739
That's the thing. Do they? At what point were you like,
879
00:41:45.050 --> 00:41:46.619
I want out of here and I want London?
880
00:41:48.460 --> 00:41:51.179
Well, I moved to Manchester to go to uni. I
881
00:41:51.199 --> 00:41:53.840
went to Exeter to go to sixth form, which was
882
00:41:53.900 --> 00:41:56.119
a hell of a journey, but I smelt the big
883
00:41:56.179 --> 00:41:57.480
city of Exeter.
884
00:41:57.739 --> 00:42:00.599
Did you? Yeah. Shit. I think it's nice to grow
885
00:42:01.099 --> 00:42:03.780
up in the countryside sort of thing, but they will
886
00:42:03.820 --> 00:42:06.139
want to explore to the city. You're going to be
887
00:42:06.179 --> 00:42:09.260
doing a lot of ferrying around. Yeah, we spoke about
888
00:42:09.280 --> 00:42:10.179
that a couple of days ago.
889
00:42:10.199 --> 00:42:11.539
I was like, okay, there's going to be a lot
890
00:42:11.579 --> 00:42:13.530
of taxi work, but I'm willing to.
891
00:42:13.539 --> 00:42:18.469
I'll be about fucking 60 then. LAUGHTER For fuck's sake.
892
00:42:18.809 --> 00:42:21.179
Do you know, I've written that down as well, stuff
893
00:42:21.219 --> 00:42:22.090
to talk about my death.
894
00:42:23.300 --> 00:42:23.719
Carry on.
895
00:42:23.800 --> 00:42:24.400
Yeah, yeah.
896
00:42:24.460 --> 00:42:25.300
Let's go for that then.
897
00:42:25.699 --> 00:42:29.360
Well, they just constantly remind me of my death, my children.
898
00:42:29.380 --> 00:42:29.960
Do they? Yeah.
899
00:42:29.980 --> 00:42:31.460
Because I've got the opposite.
900
00:42:31.800 --> 00:42:33.539
I was terrified of my own death. But you were
901
00:42:33.559 --> 00:42:35.559
in your early 30s. Yeah, so how old were you
902
00:42:35.579 --> 00:42:37.710
when you had your youngest? 43. Yeah, so my dad
903
00:42:37.730 --> 00:42:39.489
is 78, so he was 43 when he had me.
904
00:42:44.489 --> 00:42:46.389
So I was a little bit, when I was a kid,
905
00:42:46.429 --> 00:42:48.269
a little bit like, oh, why is my dad older
906
00:42:48.289 --> 00:42:50.250
than all the other dads? So that's a little bit
907
00:42:50.309 --> 00:42:54.050
of a thing at school. I don't want to drop
908
00:42:54.090 --> 00:42:55.050
that on you.
909
00:42:55.170 --> 00:42:57.190
Yeah, but I mean, how many people get to 78?
910
00:42:57.190 --> 00:43:01.510
I don't know. I can't help you on that one. Well,
911
00:43:01.650 --> 00:43:04.050
not that many. You get to 78, you've done well.
912
00:43:04.449 --> 00:43:07.030
You've got 30 years till you're 78. Yeah, but how
913
00:43:07.090 --> 00:43:10.429
old are they going to be? Early 30s, their dad's dead. Brilliant. Yeah.
914
00:43:14.000 --> 00:43:16.940
you're worried a lot about something you have no control over.
915
00:43:17.000 --> 00:43:20.900
Well no no yeah but you can't spend the.
916
00:43:20.880 --> 00:43:23.360
Rest of your life hoping you're not going to die
917
00:43:23.400 --> 00:43:26.780
that day what's that going to achieve i just don't
918
00:43:26.800 --> 00:43:29.659
you've not lived you've waited i don't like.
919
00:43:29.480 --> 00:43:31.409
Them i don't like the idea of them in their
920
00:43:31.429 --> 00:43:34.539
20s going my dad's dead Yeah, I.
921
00:43:34.519 --> 00:43:37.159
Don't think anyone does. I don't think that's a you thing.
922
00:43:37.820 --> 00:43:40.179
I can handle it if they're in their 40s. That's fine.
923
00:43:40.219 --> 00:43:40.880
You can't give.
924
00:43:40.780 --> 00:43:46.840
A shit if they're in their 40s. I know what
925
00:43:46.860 --> 00:43:48.440
you mean, but yeah, I think, yeah.
926
00:43:48.699 --> 00:43:50.219
How much does this consume you then?
927
00:43:50.829 --> 00:43:53.230
I mean, I'm not constantly pondering.
928
00:43:53.250 --> 00:43:55.309
But every day I'll go, okay, okay.
929
00:43:59.630 --> 00:44:02.230
It's not the shoes, but every single day it haunts you.
930
00:44:02.449 --> 00:44:05.050
Yeah, I can't help with it. I think it's just
931
00:44:05.090 --> 00:44:08.409
getting old and going, oh, right, I'm 48 now. Okay,
932
00:44:08.929 --> 00:44:14.309
not long to go. The seesaw's tipped. Are you in
933
00:44:14.329 --> 00:44:19.239
good health? Yeah, I am. I've got a dicky Achilles heel,
934
00:44:19.260 --> 00:44:23.909
but apart from that... That's not going to kill you.
935
00:44:24.000 --> 00:44:26.320
Only Achilles that fucked up. Everyone else is all right.
936
00:44:26.340 --> 00:44:34.139
LAUGHTER You guys are in your 30s.
937
00:44:34.289 --> 00:44:37.829
I'm 39. I'm only nine years younger. Yeah, I'm only
938
00:44:37.889 --> 00:44:40.849
nine years younger than you. I don't want to start
939
00:44:40.869 --> 00:44:42.269
worrying about this as well, do I?
940
00:44:42.849 --> 00:44:45.429
No. Yeah, but you can worry about it. But then
941
00:44:45.449 --> 00:44:48.760
what difference is it going to make? Yeah. Well, if anything,
942
00:44:48.820 --> 00:44:53.420
it could bring death nearer because the anxieties. Yeah. Yeah.
943
00:44:54.119 --> 00:44:56.260
Have you had your child go to school saying, oh,
944
00:44:56.280 --> 00:45:00.869
my dad's got a hairy willy? not at school but
945
00:45:00.909 --> 00:45:03.750
they laugh at my willy and say you've got a
946
00:45:03.769 --> 00:45:06.090
hairy willy it's like a slug yeah.
947
00:45:06.590 --> 00:45:17.679
Oh because I haven't I haven't had that okay yeah
948
00:45:17.719 --> 00:45:19.219
no there's a lot of that going on.
949
00:45:19.400 --> 00:45:22.099
What else is on the list yeah what else have
950
00:45:22.119 --> 00:45:26.880
you got I've got love messy house tired constantly tired
951
00:45:27.340 --> 00:45:32.480
yeah Magic. I quite like love. Let's hear love. Well,
952
00:45:32.539 --> 00:45:33.519
everything's fine.
953
00:45:33.559 --> 00:45:36.079
You know, although there's a lot of mess and tiredness,
954
00:45:36.179 --> 00:45:37.199
it's all sprinkled with love.
955
00:45:37.920 --> 00:45:40.840
And people forget that. That's nice. That's nice.
956
00:45:40.900 --> 00:45:41.960
We should have ended on that one.
957
00:45:42.159 --> 00:45:45.300
You played that card too early. It's nice for you
958
00:45:45.320 --> 00:45:47.300
to drop in something that bears no relation to everything
959
00:45:47.320 --> 00:45:47.800
you've just said.
960
00:45:47.820 --> 00:45:53.050
Work balance, tired, crazy times, and pissing in a mug.
961
00:45:53.900 --> 00:45:56.019
Oh, you've been pissing in a mug? Yeah, so my
962
00:45:56.059 --> 00:45:57.679
little boy went into school about.
963
00:45:57.539 --> 00:45:59.139
A month ago and said, oh, Daddy pissed in the
964
00:45:59.159 --> 00:46:00.559
mug so he didn't have to wake Mummy up.
965
00:46:00.579 --> 00:46:04.539
I was like, what the fuck? Anyway.
966
00:46:04.559 --> 00:46:05.840
What do you mean, so he didn't have to wake
967
00:46:05.880 --> 00:46:06.219
Mummy up?
968
00:46:06.219 --> 00:46:08.119
I don't know, I don't know. But did you piss
969
00:46:08.139 --> 00:46:11.190
in a mug? Yeah, probably. I don't know why. Why
970
00:46:11.210 --> 00:46:14.010
he's brought it up, but yeah, I do. I don't know.
971
00:46:14.030 --> 00:46:16.780
I think, have you ever pissed in a... You know
972
00:46:16.800 --> 00:46:20.300
when you piss into a receptacle? Like, for instance, you're
973
00:46:20.320 --> 00:46:22.349
at a... I mean, I would never do this now,
974
00:46:22.369 --> 00:46:24.289
but when I was younger, you'd be at a festival
975
00:46:24.409 --> 00:46:25.469
and you'd piss in a cup.
976
00:46:25.690 --> 00:46:27.889
Yeah? Yeah. You're definitely going to piss in a cup
977
00:46:27.929 --> 00:46:28.309
at Glastonbury.
978
00:46:28.329 --> 00:46:31.130
I'm not going to piss in a cup. I'm 39.
979
00:46:31.130 --> 00:46:35.909
Great. Yeah. And so you can't believe how much you
980
00:46:35.929 --> 00:46:37.070
piss until you piss.
981
00:46:37.429 --> 00:46:38.050
Like a mug.
982
00:46:38.730 --> 00:46:40.929
You're pissing way more than a mug there, aren't you?
983
00:46:40.949 --> 00:46:43.579
Or you need to drink some more water. Yeah. Like,
984
00:46:43.780 --> 00:46:45.920
that's coming straight out of the top of the mug there.
985
00:46:48.079 --> 00:46:51.760
There's too much. Is it? Yeah. He pisses a lot.
986
00:46:51.800 --> 00:46:55.360
How much are you pissing, Dave? What, pissing a day? No,
987
00:46:55.420 --> 00:46:58.360
in one go. A lot of piss, is it? Small piss?
988
00:46:59.019 --> 00:47:00.199
I don't know if you do a pint glass. It
989
00:47:00.219 --> 00:47:02.480
depends what pint glass. I'm doing a pint glass. I'm
990
00:47:02.500 --> 00:47:05.699
doing a pint glass easily. Really? Every time? Yeah. A
991
00:47:05.800 --> 00:47:08.900
couple of big, young, strong boys, David. And your little
992
00:47:08.940 --> 00:47:11.820
granddad trickle. Do you know what happens? The closer you
993
00:47:11.840 --> 00:47:13.880
get to dad. Big old slug pumping out the urine.
994
00:47:14.059 --> 00:47:22.769
The old slug master. out till out willy have you
995
00:47:22.809 --> 00:47:29.989
got anything else on the list cinema cinema night oh
996
00:47:30.030 --> 00:47:32.090
in your house cinema night yeah so we uh get
997
00:47:32.130 --> 00:47:35.369
the till out most weekends we get the till out
998
00:47:35.389 --> 00:47:36.889
we put them in the bedroom for 10 minutes get
999
00:47:36.909 --> 00:47:38.969
the till out put a little bowl of treats you've
1000
00:47:38.989 --> 00:47:41.360
got a till like a fake till their till oh
1001
00:47:41.380 --> 00:47:45.699
the kids yeah yeah make cinema tickets Oh, this is nice.
1002
00:47:46.079 --> 00:47:46.659
It's great.
1003
00:47:46.739 --> 00:47:49.880
They love it. But I'm quite strict. Would you please
1004
00:47:49.980 --> 00:47:51.610
queue outside the living room door?
1005
00:47:52.199 --> 00:47:56.849
No noise. So, okay, yeah. Anyway, so they come in.
1006
00:47:56.889 --> 00:47:58.869
They love Cinema Night. I recommend Cinema Night.
1007
00:47:59.329 --> 00:48:00.110
That's a good one.
1008
00:48:00.170 --> 00:48:03.010
How do you do discipline? Because, like, obviously you're very
1009
00:48:03.070 --> 00:48:05.250
silly with them, play these silly games, and can they
1010
00:48:05.269 --> 00:48:09.150
tell when you're annoyed? Oh, yeah. Yeah. What's your stern voice?
1011
00:48:09.170 --> 00:48:12.030
Because everything you say I find funny. Well, that, yeah.
1012
00:48:12.820 --> 00:48:15.780
Would you mind, would you not do that? Thank you.
1013
00:48:21.079 --> 00:48:31.469
What's yours like? What's mine? I'll say, no. Put that down.
1014
00:48:31.730 --> 00:48:35.030
I said, no, now go to bed. Yeah. Thank you. Blimey,
1015
00:48:35.070 --> 00:48:37.989
you've escalated the situation fast. I can't imagine what Josh's is.
1016
00:48:42.860 --> 00:48:45.920
Mine's just like, I can't deal with this.
1017
00:48:48.659 --> 00:48:52.400
Actually says that out loud to the child. Rose, please help.
1018
00:48:52.760 --> 00:48:57.559
I'm in trouble here. Do your telling off voice, Josh.
1019
00:48:59.659 --> 00:49:00.539
What's the situation?
1020
00:49:00.559 --> 00:49:03.980
Okay, so it's basically they've got... No, I said one episode.
1021
00:49:07.860 --> 00:49:11.139
Not like you're waving in a jumbo jet. They'd just
1022
00:49:11.159 --> 00:49:13.630
be doing that. Yeah, yeah, fuck off dad so go
1023
00:49:13.710 --> 00:49:16.860
on go on Joshua yeah on your way daddy.
1024
00:49:16.599 --> 00:49:19.840
Boy I said one episode and you've started a second
1025
00:49:19.880 --> 00:49:22.059
episode so I'm just going to turn it off now oh.
1026
00:49:21.980 --> 00:49:25.059
Really are you she bit oh are you she bit
1027
00:49:25.079 --> 00:49:31.659
she don't like that look at her look at her go.
1028
00:49:30.030 --> 00:49:35.289
Oh dear it's genuinely been an absolute pleasure David have
1029
00:49:35.309 --> 00:49:36.250
you got anything else on your.
1030
00:49:36.150 --> 00:49:38.349
Have you got anything else on your list no I've
1031
00:49:38.409 --> 00:49:41.389
covered it all That's good. Okay, well, let's get the final...
1032
00:49:41.250 --> 00:49:42.610
I've got one more question for you, and then we'll
1033
00:49:42.630 --> 00:49:44.409
get the final plugs in. So, Brian and Charles, is
1034
00:49:44.449 --> 00:49:46.869
it cinemas near you at the moment? Are you going
1035
00:49:46.889 --> 00:49:48.070
to do it at a cinema night? Are you going
1036
00:49:48.090 --> 00:49:50.389
to let the kids watch it? It is. It's a PG.
1037
00:49:50.489 --> 00:49:53.369
It's a PG, yeah. There's a little bit that concerns
1038
00:49:53.429 --> 00:49:56.239
me that a little boy might... But it's a PG.
1039
00:49:56.320 --> 00:50:01.019
It's for the kids. With parental guidance. Yeah. It's already
1040
00:50:01.059 --> 00:50:02.679
taken a quarter of a million dollars, David.
1041
00:50:02.820 --> 00:50:03.440
Are you aware of this?
1042
00:50:04.280 --> 00:50:07.760
Fucking hell. He's weighed in. Yeah, but I want more, boy.
1043
00:50:10.889 --> 00:50:11.590
That's quite good.
1044
00:50:11.630 --> 00:50:16.389
That sounds pretty good, that. Is that good? $ 254, 180 on
1045
00:50:16.409 --> 00:50:17.949
the box office, according to Wikipedia.
1046
00:50:18.070 --> 00:50:19.969
Top ten US box office. Top ten.
1047
00:50:20.190 --> 00:50:21.260
What is it?
1048
00:50:21.300 --> 00:50:24.960
Fucking hell. Just behind Sonic the Hedgehog. Just behind Sonic
1049
00:50:24.980 --> 00:50:25.400
the Hedgehog.
1050
00:50:25.420 --> 00:50:26.699
Just behind Sonic the Hedgehog.
1051
00:50:27.800 --> 00:50:32.940
Just behind that little bugger. He's just too fast. You
1052
00:50:32.960 --> 00:50:35.739
can't keep up with him. Yeah, no, no. Fast little fucker.
1053
00:50:35.780 --> 00:50:36.599
It's all good.
1054
00:50:36.760 --> 00:50:37.519
I'm so pleased.
1055
00:50:37.820 --> 00:50:42.039
The film's out and my new football podcast I think
1056
00:50:42.059 --> 00:50:44.039
is absolutely brilliant about you following Exeter. Even that's for
1057
00:50:44.059 --> 00:50:46.639
Plymouth Argyle. Oh yeah, they're in our league.
1058
00:50:46.880 --> 00:50:49.000
I need to come on and discuss with you that
1059
00:50:49.019 --> 00:50:51.119
I basically grew up in exactly the same place you
1060
00:50:51.199 --> 00:50:53.019
are now and I chose Plymouth over Exeter.
1061
00:50:53.480 --> 00:50:56.550
Why? You never went to Plymouth to watch though, David.
1062
00:50:56.570 --> 00:50:59.309
Because they're a bigger club, David. You've got to go
1063
00:50:59.349 --> 00:51:01.869
next season. No, no, no. You've got to go to
1064
00:51:01.889 --> 00:51:03.829
Plymouth to see what it's like. I've been told I'm
1065
00:51:03.849 --> 00:51:08.570
not allowed. Who by? Just Exeter fans. Okay. We'll go
1066
00:51:08.590 --> 00:51:11.590
to Plymouth for Exeter together. Yeah, no, I'd love you
1067
00:51:11.630 --> 00:51:12.409
to come on the.
1068
00:51:12.739 --> 00:51:15.519
Well, I hadn't been to a stadium properly. I'd gone
1069
00:51:15.539 --> 00:51:17.280
to Old Trafford two or three times, but I went
1070
00:51:17.320 --> 00:51:19.780
into Exeter and I was.
1071
00:51:19.699 --> 00:51:23.099
Like, this is beautiful. I hadn't... I just.
1072
00:51:23.530 --> 00:51:29.230
not used to being in a crowd of, well, say 3,000.
1073
00:51:30.619 --> 00:51:33.460
But because that was the first stadium I went into,
1074
00:51:33.500 --> 00:51:35.780
I was like, this is my home. And then I
1075
00:51:35.820 --> 00:51:38.019
went down the road to Plymouth, I went, oh, that's
1076
00:51:38.119 --> 00:51:44.309
quite big. Yeah. It's too late, mate. It's a sleeping giant. Well, yeah,
1077
00:51:44.329 --> 00:51:47.590
listen to Mind of Football Club and Chatterbix is really
1078
00:51:47.610 --> 00:51:49.610
good as well. It's really funny. It's absolutely mental. I
1079
00:51:49.630 --> 00:51:52.269
say you get the real authentic David Earl and Joe
1080
00:51:52.309 --> 00:51:57.199
Wilkinson on that. That's what you want. That's your cup
1081
00:51:57.239 --> 00:51:58.679
of tea. No, thanks for having me. We want to
1082
00:51:58.699 --> 00:52:02.840
see the inside of two men's minds. Yeah. It's been brilliant.
1083
00:52:02.860 --> 00:52:04.380
Thank you. Oh, the last question is, is there one
1084
00:52:04.460 --> 00:52:08.110
thing your partner does, parenting-wise, that annoys you, but you
1085
00:52:08.130 --> 00:52:09.849
don't bring it up because it always turns into a row?
1086
00:52:13.510 --> 00:52:16.449
I think she's so good at sort of creating magical
1087
00:52:16.530 --> 00:52:18.730
moments because she had an amazing upbringing.
1088
00:52:18.750 --> 00:52:20.769
Oh, that's a cop out of a client. Is that
1089
00:52:20.889 --> 00:52:21.130
a cop?
1090
00:52:21.210 --> 00:52:21.750
Okay.
1091
00:52:22.329 --> 00:52:25.489
Well, because she creates magical moments, she doesn't actually see
1092
00:52:25.610 --> 00:52:34.239
real life that's in front of her fucking eyes sometimes.
1093
00:52:34.719 --> 00:52:38.480
Love you, baby. A bit more bum cake later. Let's
1094
00:52:38.500 --> 00:52:40.079
do some bum cake. You're not going to have any
1095
00:52:40.119 --> 00:52:42.219
bum cake for you. It's just iron claw for you.
1096
00:52:44.110 --> 00:52:48.989
The only iron claw in the shed. Yay. Thanks so much, David.
1097
00:52:49.010 --> 00:52:51.429
Good luck with the film. That was brilliant. Thank you, guys.
1098
00:52:51.769 --> 00:52:55.429
See you later. David Earl.
1099
00:52:56.179 --> 00:52:56.880
Oh, that was great.
1100
00:52:57.070 --> 00:53:00.219
He's so funny. I love their podcast. I'm really excited
1101
00:53:00.239 --> 00:53:02.880
about that film. My new football club podcast is really,
1102
00:53:03.099 --> 00:53:04.860
really good. They talk about the game that's just happened
1103
00:53:04.900 --> 00:53:07.039
and he's a bit nervous about going to the stadium
1104
00:53:07.059 --> 00:53:08.960
and he don't know anyone. But their Chatterbix one is
1105
00:53:09.099 --> 00:53:11.849
absolutely mental. It's so funny. But it's so chaotic. They
1106
00:53:11.889 --> 00:53:14.230
do it every day and it's always like a bum rush.
1107
00:53:14.269 --> 00:53:16.510
They do it every day. Give it a listen. There's
1108
00:53:16.530 --> 00:53:19.690
some really good episodes on there. So him and Joe Wilkinson.
1109
00:53:19.710 --> 00:53:21.809
We'll get Joe Wilkinson on. I think he's got a stepson,
1110
00:53:21.829 --> 00:53:23.230
hasn't he, Joe Wilkinson? So we'll get that on. It'll
1111
00:53:23.250 --> 00:53:26.340
be a good angle. Oh, that's great. That was really good.
1112
00:53:26.380 --> 00:53:29.679
Go and see Brian and Charles. It's in cinemas. Well,
1113
00:53:29.719 --> 00:53:32.090
it says July the 8th. July the 8th.
1114
00:53:32.690 --> 00:53:34.710
July the 8th? I thought it was out now.
1115
00:53:35.190 --> 00:53:36.590
It's out in the States now.
1116
00:53:36.969 --> 00:53:37.469
Oh, right.
1117
00:53:37.530 --> 00:53:38.989
Okay. I don't know. Just have a look.
1118
00:53:39.710 --> 00:53:40.250
Just have a look.
1119
00:53:40.289 --> 00:53:42.590
Just Google it. I think it is July the 8th. Yeah, sorry. Right.
1120
00:53:42.789 --> 00:53:44.829
Well, we'll be back on Tuesday with us.
1121
00:53:45.130 --> 00:53:47.010
Just us chatting. See you on Tuesday. Bye. Bye.