Full Transcript for S01 EP8: Alex Horne

she's doing that. My kids just keep 45 00:01:42.450 --> 00:01:44.510 watching Paw Patrol, right? I don't watch it. 46 00:01:44.530 --> 00:01:46.390 I put it on forum and go and do something else, right? 47 00:01:46.420 --> 00:01:47.439 If they're watching it, obviously. 48 00:01:48.200 --> 00:01:50.560 But my daughter keeps going, the one with the new voices, 49 00:01:50.579 --> 00:01:52.840 the new voices. So I don't know if there's new 50 00:01:52.900 --> 00:01:55.659 characters or there was some sort of contract dispute with 51 00:01:55.700 --> 00:01:56.959 the original Paw Patrol. 52 00:01:57.299 --> 00:01:59.400 And then they got rid of them all and got 53 00:01:59.819 --> 00:02:00.620 new voices. 54 00:02:00.780 --> 00:02:04.370 And now I feel guilty that my daughter likes the 55 00:02:04.409 --> 00:02:05.209 new guys. 56 00:02:05.349 --> 00:02:07.870 I feel like those old guys deserved it. They've been 57 00:02:07.890 --> 00:02:10.349 there from the start. I don't know the ins and outs. 58 00:02:10.370 --> 00:02:11.069 I'm going to have to research it. 59 00:02:11.069 --> 00:02:13.050 You need to Google that. Someone will know. Get in 60 00:02:13.110 --> 00:02:14.750 touch with us if you know the ins and outs 61 00:02:14.810 --> 00:02:15.330 of the Paw. 62 00:02:15.210 --> 00:02:17.469 Patrol voice story. And the new pups. They all look 63 00:02:17.490 --> 00:02:19.590 the same to me. You know, I don't know. 64 00:02:19.629 --> 00:02:20.939 You can't say that in this day and age. 65 00:02:20.969 --> 00:02:21.500 Come on, man. 66 00:02:22.990 --> 00:02:24.530 I mean, to be fair, some of my best friends 67 00:02:24.590 --> 00:02:27.389 are dogs, so, you know, can't tie me with that brush, Josh. 68 00:02:27.810 --> 00:02:29.330 Josh, have we got any correspondence? 69 00:02:29.789 --> 00:02:30.250 We have. 70 00:02:33.280 --> 00:02:35.259 It's the Lockdown Parenting Mailbag. 71 00:02:35.280 --> 00:02:38.659 But it's actually emails and there's no bag. 72 00:02:40.620 --> 00:02:43.460 Right, Rob, I've just sent you a picture of... Can 73 00:02:43.500 --> 00:02:44.740 you describe the picture I've sent you? 74 00:02:45.360 --> 00:02:48.180 Yes, OK. It's sort of odd pubes and a really 75 00:02:48.259 --> 00:02:49.900 bulbous belly. Oh, no, the other one. 76 00:02:49.960 --> 00:02:50.099 OK. 77 00:02:52.370 --> 00:02:56.389 It's a double doors that are shut with like a lock. 78 00:02:56.490 --> 00:02:57.389 It's a wardrobe. 79 00:02:57.409 --> 00:03:01.389 It's just a normal wardrobe. This is from Roxy Beckley. 80 00:03:01.590 --> 00:03:03.650 We have a one and a three-year-old and are both 81 00:03:03.689 --> 00:03:07.069 working from home. I've attached a photo of our wardrobe. 82 00:03:07.419 --> 00:03:10.560 Nothing strange about it. Well, what is missing from the 83 00:03:10.599 --> 00:03:14.479 photo is the fact that the wardrobe is locked because 84 00:03:14.520 --> 00:03:17.939 our one-year-old took the key and hid it somewhere. This 85 00:03:17.979 --> 00:03:19.580 happened on March the 27th. 86 00:03:22.229 --> 00:03:23.569 The wardrobe's on lockdown. 87 00:03:27.120 --> 00:03:29.500 And we haven't been able to open it since. 88 00:03:29.639 --> 00:03:30.840 When did they send this email? 89 00:03:31.319 --> 00:03:32.860 May the 9th. What? 90 00:03:33.659 --> 00:03:35.699 What? Let's break it in. Six weeks. 91 00:03:36.060 --> 00:03:36.659 Six weeks? 92 00:03:37.020 --> 00:03:37.780 Six weeks. 93 00:03:37.860 --> 00:03:40.319 My husband had a video interview on that day and 94 00:03:40.340 --> 00:03:42.389 was unable to access his suits and made do with 95 00:03:42.409 --> 00:03:45.250 a shirt and shorts. My only clothes that weren't in 96 00:03:45.289 --> 00:03:47.469 the wardrobe were those going through the wash at the time. 97 00:03:47.490 --> 00:03:51.129 So I'm currently going on conference calls doing bizarre rotational 98 00:03:51.150 --> 00:03:54.120 clothes that looks suitable from a headshot. More than a 99 00:03:54.159 --> 00:03:56.759 month on and we've still not found the key. We've 100 00:03:56.800 --> 00:03:59.930 tried about 20 skeleton keys ordered from Amazon, but with 101 00:03:59.990 --> 00:04:03.289 no luck. Our three-year-old has kindly offered a solution. Wait 102 00:04:03.330 --> 00:04:05.009 until the baby can talk so he can tell us 103 00:04:05.030 --> 00:04:05.639 where the key is. 104 00:04:08.150 --> 00:04:10.110 Surely they could just cut the lock what are they 105 00:04:10.150 --> 00:04:12.110 waiting for it's been six weeks. 106 00:04:11.849 --> 00:04:14.969 Josh imagine getting a locksmith around for your wardrobe that'd 107 00:04:15.000 --> 00:04:16.959 be a low moment wouldn't it in the. 108 00:04:16.899 --> 00:04:20.899 House as well potential contamination and infection because you've locked 109 00:04:20.920 --> 00:04:24.860 your wardrobe i would say my my advice with kids 110 00:04:24.879 --> 00:04:27.620 hiding stuff is let them hide a few things right 111 00:04:27.860 --> 00:04:30.500 or you go to one of them go here's mommy's 112 00:04:30.560 --> 00:04:31.600 phone hide it. 113 00:04:31.540 --> 00:04:34.350 Right because they will have a hiding place. 114 00:04:34.689 --> 00:04:37.129 So if you're in on hiding something with them, then 115 00:04:37.149 --> 00:04:38.990 you'll know in future where they go and put it. 116 00:04:39.860 --> 00:04:43.980 So those early doors be like, let's hide this from mummy, 117 00:04:44.019 --> 00:04:44.920 go and hide it somewhere. 118 00:04:45.160 --> 00:04:46.100 And you go, where have you hidden it? 119 00:04:46.100 --> 00:04:46.220 Yeah. 120 00:04:46.379 --> 00:04:48.379 So, you know, when they hide other stuff, you know 121 00:04:48.420 --> 00:04:50.810 where it is. But if it's a baby, you can't. 122 00:04:50.850 --> 00:04:53.029 I don't think the baby's intentionally hiding. I think the 123 00:04:53.069 --> 00:04:57.569 baby's just lost the key more than hiding it. Either way. 124 00:04:57.589

--> 00:04:59.490 They must've had a good old route around. That's all 125 00:04:59.550 --> 00:05:00.649 drawers out on a bed, isn't it? 126 00:05:00.670 --> 00:05:02.550 That is. Empty drawers on a bed. 127 00:05:03.350 --> 00:05:06.629 I reckon if they've got exposed floorboards, I think down 128 00:05:06.670 --> 00:05:08.550 between the floorboards is your big fear. 129 00:05:08.589 --> 00:05:08.769 Toilet. 130 00:05:08.829 --> 00:05:09.709 That's gone. 131 00:05:09.750 --> 00:05:12.350 They'll sometimes flush it. They will flush stuff. I've had 132 00:05:12.370 --> 00:05:13.029 that in the past. 133 00:05:13.180 --> 00:05:13.879 But, oh, brutal. 134 00:05:14.149 --> 00:05:17.180 Well, let us know how it plays out. This is 135 00:05:17.220 --> 00:05:19.019 from Sophie. Hi, Josh and Rob. 136 00:05:19.079 --> 00:05:20.779 Loving the podcast. Just thought I'd give you a little 137 00:05:20.819 --> 00:05:24.160 insight into my lockdown life. Both myself and my husband 138 00:05:24.199 --> 00:05:26.980 are working full on for an online chemist company. We 139 00:05:27.019 --> 00:05:30.199 have a seven-year-old daughter who needs homeschooling. Should have been 140 00:05:30.230 --> 00:05:33.079 taking her SATs this week. We tag team through the week, 141 00:05:33.399 --> 00:05:36.480 but it's been relentless and constant. I really, really needed 142 00:05:36.519 --> 00:05:39.180 some time alone. Having an only child who views you 143 00:05:39.240 --> 00:05:42.139 as their playmate, it just doesn't happen. But the other day, 144 00:05:42.620 --> 00:05:45.240 the weather was lovely and we were outside. It started 145 00:05:45.259 --> 00:05:48.199 to lightly spit with rain, so my husband and daughter 146 00:05:48.259 --> 00:05:51.839 went in. Ah, at last, I thought, some time to myself, 147 00:05:51.899 --> 00:05:54.879 just me and the cat. Then the rain really started 148 00:05:54.899 --> 00:05:57.930 to come down. I just kept saying, it will blow 149 00:05:58.019 --> 00:06:02.689 over as it got heavier and heavier. I didn't want 150 00:06:02.730 --> 00:06:04.370 to go back in as I knew I'd have to 151 00:06:04.389 --> 00:06:07.439 watch The Secret Life of Pets and clear up. So 152 00:06:07.459 --> 00:06:11.120 I just sat in my T-shirt and shorts in the rain. 153 00:06:12.839 --> 00:06:15.500 That for me sums up everything it is about how 154 00:06:15.579 --> 00:06:19.189 much you want time on your own. Just sitting in 155 00:06:19.250 --> 00:06:23.149 the rain. And that is preferable to being with other people. 156 00:06:24.250 --> 00:06:27.350 Stuff does bring you joy that never would have before kids, 157 00:06:27.629 --> 00:06:28.269 once you have kids. 158 00:06:28.569 --> 00:06:29.339 It's weird, isn't it? 159 00:06:29.370 --> 00:06:31.649 Like, if my mate didn't have kids and I went 160 00:06:31.670 --> 00:06:32.670 round the house and I was sat in the rain 161 00:06:32.689 --> 00:06:34.110 like that, I'd be like, you all right? 162 00:06:34.470

--> 00:06:37.649 But this lady here, I'd say, good on you. Can 163 00:06:37.670 --> 00:06:39.149 I join you? That looks lovely. 164 00:06:40.310 --> 00:06:42.649 Oh, honestly, the thought of just sitting in the rain 165 00:06:42.689 --> 00:06:47.149 now is absolutely glorious. Anything, anything really that means you're 166 00:06:47.180 --> 00:06:49.540 in your own head is like nothing else really at 167 00:06:49.579 --> 00:06:50.420 this stage in the game. 168 00:06:50.810 --> 00:06:53.189 But that's what I found hardest because I normally do 169 00:06:53.209 --> 00:06:55.170 the walks with the kids. So I don't ever really 170 00:06:55.250 --> 00:06:57.430 get like just to be in the house on my 171 00:06:57.509 --> 00:07:00.490 own for like an hour of just quiet. That's what 172 00:07:00.529 --> 00:07:02.370 I'm missing of just nothing happening. 173 00:07:02.410 --> 00:07:05.430 This is why I started running. So everyone started running. 174 00:07:05.930 --> 00:07:08.129 The main reason I run is I'm just on my own. 175 00:07:08.360 --> 00:07:11.339 I'm just on my own. The glory of that. Oh, 176 00:07:11.759 --> 00:07:13.850 not long now. Right. Glenn Smith. 177 00:07:14.149 --> 00:07:14.629 Go on, Glennie. 178 00:07:14.670 --> 00:07:15.269 Hi, chaps. 179 00:07:15.620 --> 00:07:16.300 Go on, Smitho. 180 00:07:16.720 --> 00:07:18.480 Smithy. Just a quick one. 181 00:07:18.740 --> 00:07:21.500 Our four-year-old daughter had a good cry for at least 182 00:07:21.560 --> 00:07:24.420 an hour because she doesn't own a set of bagpipes. 183 00:07:24.860 --> 00:07:25.560 Cheers, Glenn. 184 00:07:25.699 --> 00:07:26.560 Yeah. 185 00:07:26.680 --> 00:07:29.769 I mean, he's kept it short, but that is exactly 186 00:07:29.829 --> 00:07:31.730 the kind of thing. We had a situation where we 187 00:07:31.750 --> 00:07:33.970 were taking our daughter out earlier to the park, and 188 00:07:34.449 --> 00:07:36.829 just before going, she was like, can I have my 189 00:07:36.889 --> 00:07:39.769 blue gloves? And she doesn't own a pair of blue gloves. 190 00:07:40.050 --> 00:07:42.610 But then you're in this situation, obviously it's sunny and hot, 191 00:07:42.649 --> 00:07:44.410 she doesn't need a pair of blue gloves. But you're 192 00:07:44.430 --> 00:07:47.389 in this situation where she's going to flip out if 193 00:07:47.430 --> 00:07:49.660 you don't source an item of clothing that you know 194 00:07:49.680 --> 00:07:52.500 isn't already in the house. So you're looking for a 195 00:07:52.540 --> 00:07:54.839 pair of blue gloves in your house that she doesn't 196 00:07:55.040 --> 00:07:56.740 own for no reason. 197 00:07:57.370 --> 00:07:57.930 I think it's weird. 198 00:07:57.970 --> 00:08:00.069 I think the less time you spend at home, right, 199 00:08:00.100 --> 00:08:01.839 when you're working loads, I'll be like, okay, well, I'll 200 00:08:02.019 --> 00:08:03.420 try and get you some blue gloves. But now I've 201 00:08:03.439 --> 00:08:04.980 been at home

all the time, you less feel guilty 202 00:08:05.000 --> 00:08:09.339 about not being away, working. Earlier, the four-year-old just had 203 00:08:09.379 --> 00:08:12.139 a vest on and knickers. And I went, oh, I'm cold. 204 00:08:12.220 --> 00:08:16.550 And I went, put something on then. I'm like, just 205 00:08:16.970 --> 00:08:18.790 get some toilet roll, wrap it around your legs if 206 00:08:18.810 --> 00:08:19.110 you can. 207 00:08:19.310 --> 00:08:20.240 This is the thing with it. 208 00:08:20.310 --> 00:08:23.709 It's like, I've actually got to the point where I 209 00:08:23.790 --> 00:08:27.160 quite enjoy those moments of, Putting my foot down on stuff. 210 00:08:27.639 --> 00:08:29.879 Because it's almost an outlet for me. Like when she 211 00:08:29.899 --> 00:08:32.039 didn't eat her dinner last night. And I was like, well, 212 00:08:32.070 --> 00:08:34.250 you can't have anything else. And that kind of, I 213 00:08:34.610 --> 00:08:36.899 was like, I'm doing it. I'm actually doing it. 214 00:08:37.529 --> 00:08:38.870 This is parenting. 215 00:08:38.929 --> 00:08:41.940 That's fine until like halfway through you decide to make 216 00:08:41.980 --> 00:08:42.639 that stand. 217 00:08:42.960 --> 00:08:45.399 And then you go, actually, we did do their dinner 218 00:08:45.559 --> 00:08:48.919 at four o'clock. an hour and a half earlier than normal. 219 00:08:49.019 --> 00:08:51.539 And then you're like, oh no, because now you're letting 220 00:08:51.559 --> 00:08:53.120 them eat after dinner. I bet it was your fault 221 00:08:53.139 --> 00:08:55.879 for doing dinner late. And then you just, sometimes I 222 00:08:55.919 --> 00:08:59.000 just like lease food out that they take and then 223 00:08:59.019 --> 00:09:01.320 they'll feel like they're a bit naughty and I'll just 224 00:09:01.340 --> 00:09:03.639 pretend they haven't seen it. And it's just an unspoken thing. 225 00:09:04.159 --> 00:09:06.320 But no, you can't have first. But then I'll just 226 00:09:06.379 --> 00:09:08.200 drop a couple of saw rings in the playroom. 227 00:09:09.720 --> 00:09:11.000 Are you feeding some birds? 228 00:09:12.600 --> 00:09:12.799 Right. 229 00:09:13.320 --> 00:09:17.789 This is from Josh Hughes. Hi guys, I'm Josh. 230 00:09:18.049 --> 00:09:21.330 I've got a seven-year-old daughter called Amelia and a four-year-old 231 00:09:21.409 --> 00:09:24.250 boy called Jackson. Quick story, a few years ago, so 232 00:09:24.309 --> 00:09:27.529 Amelia was about three and my work involves me finishing 233 00:09:27.549 --> 00:09:30.299 at about 2am. So it's hard to get up early 234 00:09:30.340 --> 00:09:32.759 for me. Amelia has always had a fascination with my 235 00:09:32.820 --> 00:09:35.500 phone and at the time I had an iPhone 6 236 00:09:35.500 --> 00:09:38.940 which has the fingerprint unlock function. This one morning I 237 00:09:38.980 --> 00:09:43.440 woke up and my three-year-old daughter Amelia had my phone 238 00:09:43.460 --> 00:09:50.269 in one hand

And my thumb in the other. Trying 239 00:09:50.309 --> 00:09:52.990 to unlock my phone whilst I was asleep so that 240 00:09:53.029 --> 00:09:53.830 she could watch YouTube. 241 00:09:53.929 --> 00:09:55.789 Oh my God, that's amazing. That's three. 242 00:09:56.269 --> 00:09:58.309 See, I didn't know whether to shout at her or 243 00:09:58.370 --> 00:10:00.009 congratulate her for her smarts. 244 00:10:01.210 --> 00:10:03.769 That's the thing, because you want a kid that is 245 00:10:03.820 --> 00:10:06.679 going to be, you know, quick and clever and, you know, 246 00:10:07.019 --> 00:10:08.980 really successful when they're grown up. 247 00:10:09.019 --> 00:10:10.620 You just don't want them like that when they're young. 248 00:10:11.809 --> 00:10:14.190 You don't want to be looking back on that story 249 00:10:14.230 --> 00:10:17.080 when the kid's doing a 10 stretch for robbing a 250 00:10:17.120 --> 00:10:18.529 bank and think, well, that was. 251 00:10:18.460 --> 00:10:20.559 Probably the first moment when I saw that they had 252 00:10:20.580 --> 00:10:20.820 this in them. 253 00:10:20.840 --> 00:10:22.559 Yeah, she's drugged his Horlicks at 2am. 254 00:10:22.940 --> 00:10:26.899 Keep daddy sleepy. Let's get his thumb out. 255 00:10:28.120 --> 00:10:31.320 Right. Thank you for your correspondence. This is how to 256 00:10:31.340 --> 00:10:31.960 get in touch. 257 00:10:34.039 --> 00:10:39.769 Email us hello at lockdownparenting.co.uk. or we're on Twitter at 258 00:10:39.830 --> 00:10:44.250 Lockdown Parents. Right. 259 00:10:45.129 --> 00:10:49.230 He is the man behind Taskmaster. He has genuinely got 260 00:10:49.250 --> 00:10:51.970 a mind like no one else I know. How has 261 00:10:52.009 --> 00:10:55.950 he set that mind to lockdown parenting? This is Alex Horne. 262 00:10:58.860 --> 00:11:00.379 Hello, Alex Horne. How are you? 263 00:11:00.620 --> 00:11:01.460 I'm good. Thank you, Josh. 264 00:11:01.500 --> 00:11:02.049 Hello, Josh. 265 00:11:02.100 --> 00:11:03.659 Hello, Rob. I'm fine. 266 00:11:04.019 --> 00:11:05.000 Thanks for doing this. 267 00:11:05.740 --> 00:11:07.620 Thanks for asking me. It'll fill another hour. 268 00:11:10.600 --> 00:11:12.230 Do you see this as a time away from the. 269 00:11:12.210 --> 00:11:16.950 Family absolutely yeah this is um after lunch in homeschooling 270 00:11:17.230 --> 00:11:19.450 so rachel's taking over oh. 271 00:11:18.970 --> 00:11:21.210 So you're the morning teacher. 272 00:11:21.309 --> 00:11:24.909 Yeah so she my wife does uh early morning breakfast 273 00:11:24.950 --> 00:11:28.070 show so i do the morning uh for the kids 274 00:11:28.429 --> 00:11:31.029 yeah yeah yeah then i do the news. 275 00:11:33.190 --> 00:11:34.320 Don't bother with travel. 276 00:11:35.720 --> 00:11:38.679 There's a sticky patch between the hallway and the kitchen. 277 00:11:38.700 --> 00:11:40.179 We think it's Ribena. 278 00:11:41.679 --> 00:11:43.639 She does, ironically, she does do the travel at the 279 00:11:43.659 --> 00:11:47.269 moment for Virgin Radio. So, yeah, I'm morning teacher. 280 00:11:47.970 --> 00:11:49.370 What did you teach them this morning? 281 00:11:51.909 --> 00:11:59.629 I should know this. That's an hour ago, isn't it? Oh, 282 00:11:59.769 --> 00:12:00.929 multiplying fractions. 283 00:12:01.129 --> 00:12:01.990 And are they all different? 284 00:12:02.230 --> 00:12:06.429 Presumably your children, they're all different ages. Yeah, so you're 285 00:12:06.549 --> 00:12:07.970 having to work at different levels. 286 00:12:08.590 --> 00:12:11.580 Yeah, so actually the school's quite good. They send packages. 287 00:12:11.639 --> 00:12:13.539 So you're mainly just saying, right, you're doing this, you're 288 00:12:13.559 --> 00:12:17.240 doing that, you're doing this. So as long as they 289 00:12:17.519 --> 00:12:19.500 understand it, you're fine. But then when they ask you 290 00:12:19.519 --> 00:12:22.000 a question, that's when you're onto Google. 291 00:12:22.019 --> 00:12:24.590 So what ages are you dealing with, Alex? 292 00:12:24.990 --> 00:12:28.759 I'm dealing with seven and eight. 9 and 10. 293 00:12:28.750 --> 00:12:30.370 Bit of chat back we're getting here. 294 00:12:30.509 --> 00:12:34.769 Yeah, they're fine. It's better than, I think it's better 295 00:12:34.809 --> 00:12:39.200 than 5 or 13. There's no exams. It doesn't matter. 296 00:12:39.440 --> 00:12:40.639 If they don't learn anything, it doesn't matter. 297 00:12:41.080 --> 00:12:43.340 I kind of have the view that there's never going 298 00:12:43.360 --> 00:12:46.580 to be a point when your child is 18 when 299 00:12:46.799 --> 00:12:49.200 you think, well, they would have got into university, but 300 00:12:49.240 --> 00:12:51.379 that 12 weeks, I really let them down. 301 00:12:52.620 --> 00:12:56.429 Yeah, I think they are, they're sort of, developing in 302 00:12:56.509 --> 00:13:00.889 different ways because they're spending so much time with us. Yeah. And, yeah, 303 00:13:00.929 --> 00:13:04.179 there's some good. And I feel a bit of guilt 304 00:13:04.220 --> 00:13:05.840 at how little time I've spent with them in the 305 00:13:05.879 --> 00:13:08.620 last couple of years. So I'm quite enjoying it, if 306 00:13:08.639 --> 00:13:08.980 I'm honest. 307 00:13:09.100 --> 00:13:09.799 Yeah. 308 00:13:09.879 --> 00:13:11.419 You've got your own little office at the end of 309 00:13:11.460 --> 00:13:13.000 the garden. Is that still the situation? 310 00:13:13.250 --> 00:13:17.509 No, that's not the situation. About a month before lockdown, 311 00:13:17.549 --> 00:13:19.509 before we saw it coming, we converted that into a 312 00:13:19.529 --> 00:13:20.210 place for the kids. 313 00:13:20.889 --> 00:13:20.970 Oh! 314 00:13:20.990 --> 00:13:25.690 So they've now... they've got everywhere now oh. 315 00:13:25.009 --> 00:13:29.169 My god oh alex yeah i checked everything in mine 316 00:13:29.269 --> 00:13:32.450 out they've got a pool table and a pool table

317 00:13:32.549 --> 00:13:34.129 we've got pulled so i can use it you know 318 00:13:34.269 --> 00:13:36.370 obviously but i have to ask their permission now. 319 00:13:39.210 --> 00:13:41.309 So there's no there's no refuge but except we have 320 00:13:41.350 --> 00:13:43.850 got this dog so that's and we we've told them 321 00:13:43.909 --> 00:13:47.860 they're not allowed out um of the house The children. 322 00:13:47.879 --> 00:13:51.759 So we exercise the dog. She's pretty good, actually. She's 323 00:13:52.100 --> 00:13:53.639 a bit of a saviour, which I think that's a 324 00:13:53.879 --> 00:13:55.879 bit of a hackneyed thing to say, but she's been... 325 00:13:56.919 --> 00:13:59.230 You know, if anyone's bored, you just go and play 326 00:13:59.250 --> 00:14:02.549 with her. Or if they hurt their legs. They mostly 327 00:14:02.590 --> 00:14:04.029 hurt their legs, and then they go and play with 328 00:14:04.049 --> 00:14:04.409 her for a bit. 329 00:14:04.529 --> 00:14:05.250 They hurt their legs? 330 00:14:05.350 --> 00:14:06.950 Yeah, they all hurt their legs, yeah. 331 00:14:07.029 --> 00:14:11.490 LAUGHTER I've got a show on Friday night on Channel 332 00:14:11.490 --> 00:14:13.730 4 where you wouldn't get away with complaining about this 333 00:14:13.809 --> 00:14:14.049 on that. 334 00:14:14.070 --> 00:14:20.370 LAUGHTER Brooke has sat there. No, Grey's knee. She had 335 00:14:20.389 --> 00:14:21.529 a knee to Grey's, actually. 336 00:14:22.269 --> 00:14:24.350 My daughter was sick this morning. She ate too many 337 00:14:24.429 --> 00:14:27.919 saurines in a row. I wasn't policing it properly. She 338 00:14:27.980 --> 00:14:32.000 ate four banana saurines and then was sick a whole saurine. 339 00:14:32.240 --> 00:14:33.059 What were the symptoms? 340 00:14:33.320 --> 00:14:39.500 The symptom was, well, she was just sick. She just 341 00:14:39.519 --> 00:14:40.710 came out and said, I'm going to be sick. 342 00:14:40.750 --> 00:14:43.149 And then she basically regurgitated a whole, she's like a 343 00:14:43.190 --> 00:14:44.429 bird feeding her young. 344 00:14:44.450 --> 00:14:48.019 Just a whole loaf onto the floor. And I said, 345 00:14:48.039 --> 00:14:48.870 did you eat that too quick? 346 00:14:48.909 --> 00:14:49.350 She went, yeah. 347 00:14:49.590 --> 00:14:51.509 And then she went and sat and watched Paw Patrol. 348 00:14:51.549 --> 00:14:54.669 So that's no knees. Knees are fine, but throats are 349 00:14:54.690 --> 00:14:56.730 a bit sore at the moment in our house. 350 00:14:57.009 --> 00:14:59.070 Are you struggling with the parenting, Alex, or do you 351 00:14:59.090 --> 00:15:00.269 think you're doing a good job of it? 352 00:15:00.649 --> 00:15:03.549 Oh, well, I don't think I am struggling. My problem 353 00:15:03.610 --> 00:15:05.269 is not knowing when it's going to end. If they 354 00:15:05.309 --> 00:15:07.269 go back to school after half term, then I'm fine 355 00:15:07.289 --> 00:15:09.580 with this and I'm

enjoying it. If they go back 356 00:15:09.600 --> 00:15:11.820 to school in September, then I've got a problem, I think. 357 00:15:12.039 --> 00:15:12.279 Yes. 358 00:15:13.440 --> 00:15:15.379 I think that everyone feels the same. 359 00:15:15.610 --> 00:15:17.490 If it's first of June, they're back in for half 360 00:15:17.529 --> 00:15:19.250 a term, we're good, aren't they? 361 00:15:19.570 --> 00:15:21.250 Psychologically, that's better. 362 00:15:21.269 --> 00:15:23.250 At the moment, we're kidding ourselves that this, or not 363 00:15:23.269 --> 00:15:25.330 kidding ourselves, we're telling ourselves that this is good for 364 00:15:25.370 --> 00:15:26.889 all of us and this is time we'll never have 365 00:15:26.929 --> 00:15:31.519 again with the kids. But if it's the whole summer. 366 00:15:31.779 --> 00:15:34.879 What point are you worried about then? It's kind of 367 00:15:34.919 --> 00:15:37.620 beginning of June. That's what you're hoping. You've set your 368 00:15:37.659 --> 00:15:38.090 hopes on. 369 00:15:38.700 --> 00:15:41.899 Yeah, well, we've been sort of promised, I think, that 370 00:15:42.139 --> 00:15:44.679 they will go back to school after half term. A 371 00:15:44.720 --> 00:15:47.259 few people around here know someone who knows someone who 372 00:15:47.279 --> 00:15:47.840 knows something. 373 00:15:48.159 --> 00:15:49.919 Yeah, who's probably known Boris Johnson? 374 00:15:50.879 --> 00:15:53.419 We know someone who's talking to the cabinet because he 375 00:15:53.440 --> 00:15:57.899 provides school dinners for people. He's sort of in that industry, 376 00:15:57.919 --> 00:15:59.960 and they've been told to get ready for then. So 377 00:16:00.000 --> 00:16:01.700 that's the intel that we've got. 378 00:16:01.840 --> 00:16:02.740 Oh, okay. 379 00:16:03.110 --> 00:16:06.100 Not only earnest, but a bit of insider info from 380 00:16:06.120 --> 00:16:07.259 the horn stuff. 381 00:16:07.500 --> 00:16:10.159 I would say that is good info, but I had 382 00:16:10.200 --> 00:16:12.899 an insider, and a week in they told me that 383 00:16:12.940 --> 00:16:14.820 Prince Philip had died and they'd covered it up. 384 00:16:15.139 --> 00:16:20.100 Yeah, I've heard that as well. So I'd take your 385 00:16:20.139 --> 00:16:22.230 school dinners guy with a pinch of salt, Alex. 386 00:16:22.490 --> 00:16:23.529 Yeah. 387 00:16:23.549 --> 00:16:26.690 So you're doing a pretty good job, judging by, like... 388 00:16:27.029 --> 00:16:29.450 Do you think it's easier with the older children? Do 389 00:16:29.470 --> 00:16:31.330 you think if this had happened to you five years ago, 390 00:16:31.370 --> 00:16:33.179 you'd been a different... boat uh. 391 00:16:33.259 --> 00:16:35.600 I think so yeah i think it's quite easy to 392 00:16:35.759 --> 00:16:38.059 compare yourself to families you don't know about but we 393 00:16:38.100 --> 00:16:40.840 find it easy having three kids because there's always someone 394 00:16:40.860 --> 00:16:42.870 for them to play with so they're not missing their 395 00:16:42.879 --> 00:16:45.549 mate so much yeah because because they're close in age 396 00:16:46.210 --> 00:16:48.289 uh they're doing a lot of face timing with their 397 00:16:48.330 --> 00:16:50.850 friends for the first time and that's been really good 398 00:16:51.450 --> 00:16:53.909 so yeah we're kind of all right and we've also 399 00:16:53.950 --> 00:16:55.870 got a garden yeah i do for you feel sorry 400 00:16:55.909 --> 00:16:59.059 for single parent families single child families and people without 401 00:16:59.080 --> 00:17:00.600 a garden it's gotta be it's gotta be so tough 402 00:17:01.159 --> 00:17:03.039 And we can just, like you say, go on Amazon 403 00:17:03.090 --> 00:17:05.369 if they need something. We just, you know, we bought 404 00:17:05.390 --> 00:17:08.150 a paddling pool because it was sunny and they were bored. 405 00:17:08.190 --> 00:17:09.990 So we're trying to give them summer holidays. 406 00:17:10.009 --> 00:17:11.490 Do you not let them in the hot tub then? 407 00:17:11.890 --> 00:17:14.539 Shh. 408 00:17:16.920 --> 00:17:18.380 We were revealing too much. 409 00:17:18.619 --> 00:17:20.440 Was that the sound of you filling up the hot tub? 410 00:17:22.150 --> 00:17:22.569 Paddling pool. 411 00:17:22.869 --> 00:17:23.529 Paddling pool. 412 00:17:23.769 --> 00:17:24.829 Big plastic paddling pool. 413 00:17:25.349 --> 00:17:27.920 I always thought you'd be really good at this homeschooling 414 00:17:27.960 --> 00:17:30.180 thing and looking after your kids' stuff, Alex. Because I've 415 00:17:30.200 --> 00:17:32.660 been to your house. It's a lovely, homely house. And 416 00:17:32.680 --> 00:17:34.400 all the kids, they feel like... Sometimes you go to 417 00:17:34.440 --> 00:17:37.440 a house, it just feels like, do kids live here? 418 00:17:37.680 --> 00:17:39.519 But you can't imagine that they do. But you've got 419 00:17:39.539 --> 00:17:42.849 a lovely home. And also, from Taskmaster, you're so creative. 420 00:17:42.880 --> 00:17:43.349 And I imagine. 421 00:17:43.940 --> 00:17:46.779 Do you put together challenges and games and stuff for 422 00:17:46.799 --> 00:17:49.380 them to do that they find fun or do they 423 00:17:49.400 --> 00:17:50.940 find you boring, annoying dad? 424 00:17:50.960 --> 00:17:53.740 It's a bit of both. I don't put together games 425 00:17:53.779 --> 00:17:57.500 and they do find me annoying. I think people do 426 00:17:57.680 --> 00:17:59.279 have high expectations of my parenting. 427 00:17:59.759 --> 00:18:00.319 Yeah. 428 00:18:00.539 --> 00:18:02.660 But actually, because of all the... So we're doing this thing, 429 00:18:02.700 --> 00:18:04.480 home tasking, we're setting other people tasks to do in 430 00:18:04.509 --> 00:18:06.670 their homes. But it's taking up so much of my time. 431 00:18:06.710 --> 00:18:09.170 I don't do it with the kids. But they don't 432 00:18:09.230 --> 00:18:10.710 really want to

either. They do get to watch a 433 00:18:10.730 --> 00:18:13.089 lot of stuff that comes in. They help me judge it. 434 00:18:13.329 --> 00:18:13.529 So they. 435 00:18:14.019 --> 00:18:16.900 You know, it's more screen time, but they enjoy all that. 436 00:18:16.920 --> 00:18:18.109 They feel like they're part of it and they don't 437 00:18:18.119 --> 00:18:20.349 really want to do it. So to be honest, my 438 00:18:20.390 --> 00:18:23.029 involvement with them in the garden is just football. Football 439 00:18:23.049 --> 00:18:27.609 and cricket with quite straight sport, quite serious. Yeah, really? 440 00:18:27.829 --> 00:18:33.390 Penalty shootouts, cricket, which always ends in arguments, and table tennis. 441 00:18:33.769 --> 00:18:37.890 So you've got table tennis, pool, a paddling pool, a 442 00:18:37.930 --> 00:18:40.539 hot tub. You're basically living in Trump Tower. 443 00:18:40.759 --> 00:18:41.000 Yeah. 444 00:18:41.380 --> 00:18:42.759 It's like David Lloyd Leisure Centre. 445 00:18:44.900 --> 00:18:47.140 Yeah, it's between that and it's got a hint of... 446 00:18:47.519 --> 00:18:50.160 What's that? Centre Parcs as well. We're by the woods 447 00:18:50.200 --> 00:18:50.460 as well. 448 00:18:50.500 --> 00:18:51.259 So, yeah, we've got it. 449 00:18:51.359 --> 00:18:51.809 We've got it. 450 00:18:51.900 --> 00:18:55.440 And are you watching... You said the word screen time then. 451 00:18:55.460 --> 00:18:56.960 Are you worried about screen time? 452 00:18:56.980 --> 00:18:59.930 Yeah, we've been more generous than ever with it. They're doing... Well, 453 00:18:59.970 --> 00:19:02.349 they've got half an hour a day each and then 454 00:19:02.390 --> 00:19:04.670 an hour a day each on the weekend on computer 455 00:19:04.690 --> 00:19:08.289 games and then probably an hour of telly as well. Oh, 456 00:19:08.789 --> 00:19:09.869 that's quite. 457 00:19:09.990 --> 00:19:11.349 That's not a lot at all, is it? 458 00:19:11.990 --> 00:19:14.390 No, but quite often they spread that out somehow. They 459 00:19:14.430 --> 00:19:16.230 sort of can convince us that one of them had 460 00:19:16.250 --> 00:19:17.450 an hour of telly and then the other one's going 461 00:19:17.470 --> 00:19:18.549 to watch an hour of telly and they're going to 462 00:19:18.569 --> 00:19:19.619 watch the other one watching it. 463 00:19:19.630 --> 00:19:24.539 I've worked out what's happened here. You've invented these rules. 464 00:19:24.559 --> 00:19:27.000 You never enforce or stop. 465 00:19:27.160 --> 00:19:29.240 They don't watch telly in the morning in school time. 466 00:19:29.259 --> 00:19:31.859 They do at the weekend. And that works quite well. Also, 467 00:19:32.200 --> 00:19:35.279 we got just to boast about another thing I own. 468 00:19:37.680 --> 00:19:39.599 They only get an hour a day on the zip wire, 469 00:19:39.619 --> 00:19:39.960 don't they? 470 00:19:40.980 --> 00:19:44.940 Well, I got given by Avalon, my management, a VR 471 00:19:44.980

--> 00:19:46.710 headset for my birthday last year. 472 00:19:46.849 --> 00:19:49.130 Oh, my God. Are we interviewing Drake or Alison? 473 00:19:51.279 --> 00:19:53.339 But that's been brilliant because we were meant to go 474 00:19:53.359 --> 00:19:55.059 on holiday. We couldn't go on holiday. So you can 475 00:19:55.099 --> 00:19:56.460 put that on them and say, right, take us to 476 00:19:56.480 --> 00:19:58.000 the Isle of Wight or Thailand. 477 00:19:58.559 --> 00:20:02.299 I love the way you've got a VR set. 478 00:20:02.759 --> 00:20:04.279 Let's go to the Isle of Wight. 479 00:20:04.559 --> 00:20:05.279 Anywhere in the world. 480 00:20:05.480 --> 00:20:07.359 You go to space with those things, but you. 481 00:20:07.299 --> 00:20:08.859 Go to the Isle of Wight. You know what we 482 00:20:08.900 --> 00:20:09.819 all did? As soon as we put it on, the 483 00:20:09.859 --> 00:20:12.640 first thing you say, because it's on Google Wander, you 484 00:20:12.660 --> 00:20:15.299 just say any address and all of us said our 485 00:20:15.380 --> 00:20:17.140 own address. We said the house that we were in. 486 00:20:17.160 --> 00:20:19.509 Completely pointless. 487 00:20:20.130 --> 00:20:22.069 Of course you do, mate. We've heard what your house 488 00:20:22.150 --> 00:20:25.029 is containing. It's got more entertainment than any other house 489 00:20:25.109 --> 00:20:25.569 in the UK. 490 00:20:25.730 --> 00:20:26.890 Oh, God. 491 00:20:26.950 --> 00:20:28.569 You basically live in Funhouse. 492 00:20:28.869 --> 00:20:30.589 I do feel like this is not going to do 493 00:20:30.630 --> 00:20:32.650 good for my... Sort of persona. 494 00:20:32.670 --> 00:20:35.549 Modest persona. You have got a very modest amount of 495 00:20:35.569 --> 00:20:36.619 the people persona. 496 00:20:36.880 --> 00:20:38.359 Yeah, it's a facade. 497 00:20:38.619 --> 00:20:41.660 Is it a facade? And how's your wife dealing with it? 498 00:20:41.660 --> 00:20:44.599 So she's having to get up. Is Rachel working from home? 499 00:20:44.720 --> 00:20:47.579 Yeah, she's up at five. So she sneaks downstairs and 500 00:20:47.619 --> 00:20:50.180 the front room is her studio, which is where I 501 00:20:50.240 --> 00:20:51.799 am now, which is why you can hear me because 502 00:20:51.819 --> 00:20:55.400 she's got all her equipment. So she does that till 503 00:20:55.400 --> 00:20:58.119 10 and then she does yoga. Till half ten. And 504 00:20:58.160 --> 00:20:59.559 then I don't know what she does. Oh, she does cleaning. 505 00:20:59.619 --> 00:21:02.319 She cleans the house. We've got a pretty stereotypical relationship. 506 00:21:02.599 --> 00:21:05.579 Then she cooks lunch. And then she takes over the 507 00:21:06.019 --> 00:21:08.619 teaching so I can do podcasts and tell everyone what 508 00:21:08.660 --> 00:21:08.960 I own. 509 00:21:17.329 --> 00:21:20.670 So you're generally enjoying other points of stress. I can't 510 00:21:20.730 --> 00:21:22.950 imagine you ever getting angry

or stressed. 511 00:21:23.599 --> 00:21:26.410 No, occasionally you feel that slight desperate, that sort of 512 00:21:26.430 --> 00:21:29.230 pent-up desperation you haven't... I haven't turned right out of 513 00:21:29.289 --> 00:21:31.789 our house. It's turning right into the town where we 514 00:21:31.809 --> 00:21:34.309 live and turning left into the woods. And I haven't 515 00:21:34.329 --> 00:21:36.759 turned right for a month, I think. So, yeah, but 516 00:21:37.200 --> 00:21:38.099 the woods... What are you doing? 517 00:21:38.200 --> 00:21:39.180 Foraging for food? 518 00:21:39.700 --> 00:21:41.019 Sending my wife to forage for food. 519 00:21:41.099 --> 00:21:42.039 Oh, I see your wife. 520 00:21:42.400 --> 00:21:44.380 She does the shopping because she does the cooking, and 521 00:21:44.400 --> 00:21:46.299 this works. 522 00:21:46.500 --> 00:21:50.289 This stereotypical life. You don't do anything, it seems. Yeah. 523 00:21:51.009 --> 00:21:52.009 She's working as well. 524 00:21:51.890 --> 00:21:52.450 In the morning. 525 00:21:52.509 --> 00:21:56.569 It's not like the stereotypical 50s housewife. She's grafting and 526 00:21:56.589 --> 00:21:58.170 then does everything else. 527 00:21:58.430 --> 00:21:59.470 I'm doing a barbecue tonight. 528 00:21:59.490 --> 00:22:00.869 Who's got the food? 529 00:22:01.490 --> 00:22:01.769 Rachel. 530 00:22:02.190 --> 00:22:04.059 Who's cooking the salad? 531 00:22:05.670 --> 00:22:09.339 Yeah, I get your point. I do every morning. I 532 00:22:09.359 --> 00:22:09.980 get the kids up. 533 00:22:11.539 --> 00:22:12.740 How's that working out for you? 534 00:22:12.779 --> 00:22:14.460 She's at work, to be fair. 535 00:22:14.480 --> 00:22:17.220 I do the washing up. Oh, well done. 536 00:22:17.240 --> 00:22:18.319 No, dishwasher. 537 00:22:18.680 --> 00:22:21.079 Yeah, I load the dishwasher and I unload the dishwasher. 538 00:22:21.279 --> 00:22:22.920 Of course you do. Don't start pretending you ain't got 539 00:22:22.940 --> 00:22:27.460 a dishwasher. Come on. Chuck them in the hot tub. 540 00:22:27.619 --> 00:22:29.460 No, I do do things. I think I do things. 541 00:22:29.740 --> 00:22:31.380 Do you cook dinner or does Rachel do dinner? 542 00:22:31.420 --> 00:22:35.710 No, I don't cook dinner. No, I don't do a lot. Yeah, 543 00:22:35.809 --> 00:22:36.589 it's not perfect. 544 00:22:37.150 --> 00:22:41.809 I think normally you are out doing Taskmaster almost, you know, 545 00:22:41.849 --> 00:22:42.609 five days a week. 546 00:22:42.950 --> 00:22:43.750 Thank you. Grafting. 547 00:22:44.369 --> 00:22:44.809 Grafting. 548 00:22:44.829 --> 00:22:45.089 Grafting. 549 00:22:47.769 --> 00:22:50.569 Yeah, you know, putting 20 rubber ducks on top of 550 00:22:50.630 --> 00:22:52.559 a wall and making someone whip them off. 551 00:22:52.680 --> 00:22:53.299 Something like that. 552 00:22:53.460 --> 00:22:55.039 Those clipboards are heavy, you hold. 553 00:22:56.460 --> 00:22:59.319 That looking you do, that looking, just looking at someone 554 00:22:59.339 --> 00:23:00.819 doing things, knackering. 555 00:23:01.200 --> 00:23:05.589 And are the kids enjoying it? Yeah, yeah. Obviously, they're 556 00:23:05.630 --> 00:23:08.250 of an age where they understand what's happening. We haven't 557 00:23:08.269 --> 00:23:08.829 told them. 558 00:23:08.849 --> 00:23:11.130 You haven't told them? 559 00:23:11.210 --> 00:23:13.410 We've just told them that school is fit. No, we 560 00:23:13.430 --> 00:23:17.130 have told them, but we haven't... It'd be great not 561 00:23:17.150 --> 00:23:20.500 to have told them, wouldn't it? But we haven't sat 562 00:23:20.519 --> 00:23:21.859 them down in front of the news. They haven't seen 563 00:23:21.900 --> 00:23:25.319 anything particularly upsetting. We do the applauding and all that, 564 00:23:25.640 --> 00:23:26.920 and they've raised a bit of money for the NHS, 565 00:23:26.940 --> 00:23:28.619 you know, little bits and bobs here and there, some 566 00:23:28.640 --> 00:23:30.970 of their pocket money. So they're sort of aware of it, 567 00:23:30.980 --> 00:23:33.779 but we're trying to make this a happy thing for them. 568 00:23:33.799 --> 00:23:34.380 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 569 00:23:34.640 --> 00:23:36.529 So, no, they're loving it. They're honestly loving it, and 570 00:23:36.609 --> 00:23:38.549 we did that. There was an April Fool's going around 571 00:23:38.609 --> 00:23:40.950 with a screenshot of BBC News saying the schools are 572 00:23:40.990 --> 00:23:43.650 open again, and we played that trick on them, and 573 00:23:43.670 --> 00:23:50.950 they were pretty annoyed. so i think i think that's 574 00:23:51.009 --> 00:23:53.470 a nice reflection though they're happier being at home than 575 00:23:53.490 --> 00:23:55.730 at school i think that's that's fine probably. 576 00:23:55.690 --> 00:23:57.630 Yeah and do you think when it comes to the 577 00:23:57.690 --> 00:24:00.329 end of it in june which you've confirmed obviously because 578 00:24:00.349 --> 00:24:02.329 you've got the man on the inside they're going to 579 00:24:02.349 --> 00:24:05.190 be sad to kind of go back to school well. 580 00:24:05.059 --> 00:24:07.059 If it's half a summer term then i think they'll 581 00:24:07.079 --> 00:24:09.559 be fine they'll have you know sports day that one 582 00:24:09.599 --> 00:24:12.140 of ours is leaving school he's in year six so 583 00:24:12.160 --> 00:24:14.240 he's going to secondary school and He'll have his end 584 00:24:14.279 --> 00:24:16.799 of school leave and stuff. So I think it's a 585 00:24:16.839 --> 00:24:18.339 pretty good time to go back. They won't do any 586 00:24:18.380 --> 00:24:20.140 work or anything. It could be ideal. 587 00:24:20.410 --> 00:24:21.710 Yeah, I think they'll have to do that as well, 588 00:24:21.869 --> 00:24:26.650 especially with the A-levels and GCSEs. The school's never four 589 00:24:26.849 --> 00:24:29.720 in secondary school. In that term anyway, people are

coming 590 00:24:29.759 --> 00:24:31.000 and going for exams and mocks. 591 00:24:31.019 --> 00:24:31.450 So it would be. 592 00:24:31.859 --> 00:24:34.299 a sort of more like a softer reintroduction. 593 00:24:34.579 --> 00:24:34.799 Yeah. 594 00:24:34.819 --> 00:24:37.000 And I think we will so love if we're still 595 00:24:37.160 --> 00:24:38.740 not going to work and the kids are going to 596 00:24:38.779 --> 00:24:42.579 school to finally have the house back. 597 00:24:42.640 --> 00:24:43.980 Oh, that's up ear porn. 598 00:24:44.329 --> 00:24:44.569 Yeah. 599 00:24:44.829 --> 00:24:47.269 I'm sort of dreading 2021. I'm dreading the amount of 600 00:24:47.349 --> 00:24:49.789 fun we're meant to be having in that year and 601 00:24:49.829 --> 00:24:52.730 the amount of social things we're meant to go to. 602 00:24:53.329 --> 00:24:56.690 Yeah. I don't, I'm not that bothered about, you know, 603 00:24:56.750 --> 00:24:57.990 everyone goes, Oh, do you want to go to big 604 00:24:58.029 --> 00:24:59.309 parties and see everyone? 605 00:24:59.369 --> 00:25:01.740 And I'm not that bothered about that. I just, I 606 00:25:01.740 --> 00:25:03.019 want to be in my house on my own. 607 00:25:03.880 --> 00:25:06.380 Yeah. 608 00:25:06.619 --> 00:25:08.769 I'm not desperate for a street party. I just want 609 00:25:08.789 --> 00:25:10.029 to be able to go to Pizza. 610 00:25:09.789 --> 00:25:12.549 Express and relax. And even things like the Euros will 611 00:25:12.569 --> 00:25:14.490 be that year and then the World Cup the following year. 612 00:25:14.569 --> 00:25:16.490 I kind of need a year off between these big 613 00:25:16.529 --> 00:25:17.170 sporting events. 614 00:25:17.390 --> 00:25:19.210 We'll be celebrating winning the Euros and then we'll be 615 00:25:19.250 --> 00:25:21.569 straight into trying to double up with the World Cup. 616 00:25:22.049 --> 00:25:25.869 As a Liverpool fan, Alex, how worried are you about 617 00:25:26.890 --> 00:25:28.470 the football season being cancelled? 618 00:25:29.380 --> 00:25:29.470 Um. 619 00:25:30.440 --> 00:25:34.420 Or Liverpool winning it behind closed doors, therefore really invalidating 620 00:25:34.480 --> 00:25:35.269 the title. 621 00:25:35.700 --> 00:25:37.470 Yeah, it's going to be tarnished, I think, in some ways. 622 00:25:37.609 --> 00:25:39.690 Although they will, I think it will be legendary. There'll 623 00:25:39.710 --> 00:25:44.109 be an asterisk somewhere, I think, next to this title. 624 00:25:44.190 --> 00:25:46.910 It's definitely going to be worse if you can't be 625 00:25:46.950 --> 00:25:48.089 there to watch and lift it. 626 00:25:48.259 --> 00:25:50.359 It will be worse. But what I'm saying is if 627 00:25:50.440 --> 00:25:53.019 it ends early and they don't give it to them, 628 00:25:53.420 --> 00:25:55.500 then they will be the team that got the most 629 00:25:55.599 --> 00:25:57.079 ever point lead ever. 630 00:25:57.549 --> 00:25:57.910 Yeah. 631 00:25:57.930 --> 00:25:59.910 They'll go down in history in some way or the other. But, yeah, no, 632 00:25:59.950 --> 00:26:02.009 it's a shame. It's mainly a shame because the amount 633 00:26:02.029 --> 00:26:07.059 of WhatsApp jokes I get sent still every day. 634 00:26:08.339 --> 00:26:12.759 Would you prefer the season to be cancelled or the 635 00:26:12.799 --> 00:26:14.059 summer term to be cancelled? 636 00:26:15.240 --> 00:26:18.410 Summer term. I can't have them not win it. 637 00:26:18.430 --> 00:26:18.509 What? 638 00:26:24.039 --> 00:26:28.220 So you'd put Liverpool's championship ahead of the educational welfare 639 00:26:28.279 --> 00:26:28.920 of your children. 640 00:26:29.000 --> 00:26:33.599 Yeah, and my own summer. I just, I can't, they 641 00:26:33.619 --> 00:26:36.630 can't not. They can't not win it. 642 00:26:37.720 --> 00:26:41.509 Okay, what if these two series of Taskmaster gets postponed 643 00:26:41.549 --> 00:26:42.210 till next year? 644 00:26:42.230 --> 00:26:43.589 Right, or Liverpool. 645 00:26:43.769 --> 00:26:44.009 Yeah. 646 00:26:47.609 --> 00:26:48.049 It's tough. 647 00:26:50.230 --> 00:26:52.369 I think your line's gone, Alex. I can't hear you. 648 00:26:54.880 --> 00:26:56.759 I mean, I don't know. I don't know. I can't 649 00:26:56.799 --> 00:26:57.059 answer that. 650 00:26:57.079 --> 00:27:00.119 We've made you sadder on this chat. You were full 651 00:27:00.140 --> 00:27:01.740 of beans at the start and now we just remind 652 00:27:01.779 --> 00:27:02.769 you of all the bad stuff. 653 00:27:03.049 --> 00:27:06.589 It is the one thing that is upsetting me. I'm 654 00:27:06.609 --> 00:27:10.250 really missing a goal going in in any game. Because 655 00:27:10.289 --> 00:27:13.029 it's unpredictable. Everything now is so predictable because we know 656 00:27:13.049 --> 00:27:15.250 what's going to happen except for what's actually going to 657 00:27:15.269 --> 00:27:18.230 happen in the world. But there's none of those moments 658 00:27:18.589 --> 00:27:19.250 of hearing a score. 659 00:27:19.269 --> 00:27:21.230 But also it's... It's predictable for you because you've got 660 00:27:21.250 --> 00:27:22.930 this guy on the inside who's given you all the 661 00:27:22.970 --> 00:27:24.089 info two months ago. 662 00:27:24.410 --> 00:27:26.309 Can I confess something? When you first said about that, 663 00:27:26.349 --> 00:27:28.970 you said this guy talked to a cabinet. I immediately 664 00:27:29.029 --> 00:27:31.910 thought of, who's this lunatic who's talking to a wall? 665 00:27:32.509 --> 00:27:34.509 Cupboard type thing. And then it's like, oh yeah, you know, 666 00:27:35.029 --> 00:27:39.250 the government. Okay, yeah. Because I've never known anyone who would... 667 00:27:39.990 --> 00:27:41.470 You can't have thought that, Rob. 668 00:27:41.650 --> 00:27:44.609 My first thought, and then I pulled back because from 669 00:27:44.630 --> 00:27:47.470 my world, I would know more people that speak to 670 00:27:47.559 -->

00:27:48.230 a cabinet than. 671 00:27:48.609 --> 00:27:49.480 than the cabinet. 672 00:27:49.910 --> 00:27:51.650 It's taken you 20 minutes to admit that. 673 00:27:52.069 --> 00:27:53.930 Yeah, but I thought it's only fair because there'll be 674 00:27:53.970 --> 00:27:55.329 people listening that did the same as me. 675 00:27:55.630 --> 00:27:58.009 I mean, it is a strange word. No one really 676 00:27:58.029 --> 00:28:00.049 sort of asks why it's called a cabinet. 677 00:28:00.369 --> 00:28:01.529 Yeah, if I just be honest. 678 00:28:01.990 --> 00:28:03.970 Yeah, no, it's fair enough. I love the idea that 679 00:28:03.990 --> 00:28:05.750 you've been sitting on that for 20 minutes thinking. 680 00:28:05.769 --> 00:28:06.819 Well, I didn't know whether to say it or not. 681 00:28:06.829 --> 00:28:09.250 I felt so stupid because obviously it's not a cabinet. 682 00:28:09.799 --> 00:28:10.710 It's the cabinet. 683 00:28:10.970 --> 00:28:11.599 But I don't know. 684 00:28:11.619 --> 00:28:13.720 I was just thinking, yeah, but I'd probably be able 685 00:28:13.740 --> 00:28:15.500 to find someone I know that has spoken to a 686 00:28:15.519 --> 00:28:18.740 cabinet in one of their lower moments. than have access 687 00:28:18.759 --> 00:28:20.480 to someone who actually talks to the cabinet. 688 00:28:20.740 --> 00:28:22.640 If I said I knew someone at number 10, would 689 00:28:22.660 --> 00:28:23.700 you think it was just a number? 690 00:28:24.039 --> 00:28:30.420 So do I, mate. Karen lives at number 10 down 691 00:28:30.460 --> 00:28:31.400 by our end. 692 00:28:32.940 --> 00:28:36.349 Alex, are you hearing from your friends without children and 693 00:28:36.549 --> 00:28:40.009 how kind of... Say someone like, I don't know, you're 694 00:28:40.049 --> 00:28:43.430 good friends with Tim Key. Do you hear about their 695 00:28:43.470 --> 00:28:44.450 different lifestyles? 696 00:28:44.470 --> 00:28:44.589 I do. 697 00:28:44.609 --> 00:28:44.990 Yeah, Tim and. 698 00:28:46.859 --> 00:28:49.920 Tim and Greg Davis, I speak to quite often. And 699 00:28:50.319 --> 00:28:52.160 they've got similar lives to each other and couldn't be 700 00:28:52.200 --> 00:28:53.720 more different from me, I think. They're both in a 701 00:28:53.779 --> 00:28:57.940 flat and they're both isolating pretty exclusively. I don't think 702 00:28:57.960 --> 00:29:01.799 they've seen anyone in a month. And I think it's 703 00:29:01.839 --> 00:29:03.900 probably grass is greener territory. 704 00:29:03.980 --> 00:29:04.759 Yeah. 705 00:29:05.000 --> 00:29:07.339 But they're both being pretty organised with their time and 706 00:29:07.359 --> 00:29:09.500 they're getting a lot of writing done. Yeah, I think 707 00:29:09.579 --> 00:29:11.599 I'm more envious of them than they are of me. 708 00:29:11.900 --> 00:29:16.200 Yeah, I think my envy for people who... Not that, obviously, 709 00:29:16.640 --> 00:29:19.259 the caveat of the whole podcast is parenthood is a 710 00:29:19.400 --> 00:29:21.599 constant joy, and obviously I love my family. 711 00:29:22.059 --> 00:29:24.970 But there is part of you that goes, the amount 712 00:29:25.029 --> 00:29:26.410 of stuff I'd be getting done. 713 00:29:26.589 --> 00:29:29.170 Yeah. But it's that thing that, because I've only got 714 00:29:29.210 --> 00:29:32.029 four hours a day, I do use that fairly wisely, 715 00:29:32.069 --> 00:29:35.670 whereas Tim's got 24 hours a day. So he watches 716 00:29:35.690 --> 00:29:37.319 a lot of telly. He has three or four baths 717 00:29:37.390 --> 00:29:41.279 a day, I think. So I often phone him and 718 00:29:41.299 --> 00:29:44.259 he's watching something from Mexico 86 or that sort of thing. 719 00:29:44.859 --> 00:29:46.000 In the bath. 720 00:29:46.079 --> 00:29:48.839 Yeah. So I think time does go slower for him, probably. 721 00:29:49.200 --> 00:29:50.950 Yeah, well, he's only reached 1986. 722 00:29:50.950 --> 00:29:55.829 I'd say he's not enjoying it. I think he's getting 723 00:29:55.869 --> 00:29:58.779 stuff done. But you have that worry, like you guys 724 00:29:58.799 --> 00:30:00.539 are doing this podcast and I'm doing this home tasking. 725 00:30:00.559 --> 00:30:03.160 You want to be relevant somehow and you want to 726 00:30:03.200 --> 00:30:05.500 be using it. Yeah, you want to come out and think, oh, 727 00:30:05.500 --> 00:30:07.450 I'm glad I got that done, which I haven't. 728 00:30:08.109 --> 00:30:11.210 Did you have any plans beforehand that you'd now look 729 00:30:11.250 --> 00:30:13.470 back on as, like I had this plan. 730 00:30:14.630 --> 00:30:15.490 The first day I. 731 00:30:15.650 --> 00:30:19.650 Tidied one of the kitchen cupboards and then I said 732 00:30:19.670 --> 00:30:21.740 to Rose, all I'm going to need to do is 733 00:30:21.779 --> 00:30:26.009 just tidy one small cupboard a day. And then by 734 00:30:26.029 --> 00:30:26.609 the end. 735 00:30:26.470 --> 00:30:30.259 Of lockdown, the house is going to be absolutely perfect. 736 00:30:31.190 --> 00:30:31.470 Yeah. 737 00:30:31.940 --> 00:30:33.980 And I haven't touched another cupboard since. 738 00:30:34.160 --> 00:30:36.539 Yeah, when they give us this deadline of, right, in 739 00:30:36.579 --> 00:30:38.480 three weeks you're out, there's going to be real panic 740 00:30:38.500 --> 00:30:41.420 cupboard tidying in there. 741 00:30:41.759 --> 00:30:44.180 I still haven't managed to clean my windows. 742 00:30:45.380 --> 00:30:45.660 Right? 743 00:30:46.349 --> 00:30:49.690 Because I've got that part of my brain doesn't exist 744 00:30:49.730 --> 00:30:52.769 for practical stuff, right? I've tried to clean my windows twice. 745 00:30:53.009 --> 00:30:55.109 Both times I've made them dirtier. I don't know what 746 00:30:55.150 --> 00:30:57.630 I've done, but I come away from it and I go, 747 00:30:57.670 --> 00:30:58.309 are they all right, Lou? 748 00:30:58.390 --> 00:31:00.640 And she goes, they're dirtier. I went, they are, aren't

they? 749 00:31:02.180 --> 00:31:03.220 I've not done that. 750 00:31:03.480 --> 00:31:05.859 Yeah, I suppose I've got bits involved in that. My 751 00:31:05.920 --> 00:31:08.380 plan was to teach the kids to type. I thought 752 00:31:08.440 --> 00:31:12.099 touch typing is a good skill. Yeah. And I looked 753 00:31:12.140 --> 00:31:14.369 up a program the first day and that's been sort 754 00:31:14.380 --> 00:31:16.380 of hovering. That's not going to happen. That's definitely not 755 00:31:16.400 --> 00:31:18.640 going to happen. I think I was going to try 756 00:31:18.660 --> 00:31:26.809 to learn the glockenspiel. Amazing. Yeah. 757 00:31:27.250 --> 00:31:31.430 My granddad is 95, right? And he's locking down on 758 00:31:31.470 --> 00:31:34.349 his own. And he's decided he's going to learn Welsh 759 00:31:35.069 --> 00:31:35.990 at 95. 760 00:31:35.990 --> 00:31:38.529 Yeah, there are better choices to be made on that. 761 00:31:38.549 --> 00:31:40.859 How's he getting on with it? 762 00:31:41.819 --> 00:31:42.640 Well, I don't know. 763 00:31:42.680 --> 00:31:45.200 I didn't. I, to be honest, haven't replied to the email. 764 00:31:45.339 --> 00:31:46.119 I should have done that. 765 00:31:46.240 --> 00:31:47.980 Well, you've got to translate it first, haven't you? 766 00:31:49.920 --> 00:31:53.230 Alex, obviously you're getting your work done. But like, for example, 767 00:31:53.289 --> 00:31:55.650 if people are allowed out, like your kids and wife 768 00:31:55.670 --> 00:31:58.170 weren't in the house for a day and you weren't 769 00:31:58.210 --> 00:32:01.109 allowed to do work, you know, because it's a day off. 770 00:32:01.390 --> 00:32:04.029 What would be your day of just to yourself? What 771 00:32:04.049 --> 00:32:04.630 would you be doing? 772 00:32:04.950 --> 00:32:06.380 If I had the house to myself, so I'm in 773 00:32:06.400 --> 00:32:07.319 the house, but they're not here. 774 00:32:07.660 --> 00:32:08.200 They're not here, yeah. 775 00:32:08.220 --> 00:32:09.940 They've just been made invisible for a day and then 776 00:32:09.960 --> 00:32:11.039 they come back the next day, right? 777 00:32:11.059 --> 00:32:12.180 Because lockdown's still going on. 778 00:32:12.220 --> 00:32:16.730 What are you doing? I'm sleeping in. 779 00:32:17.309 --> 00:32:19.029 I'm definitely doing that. What time till? 780 00:32:19.390 --> 00:32:21.410 Well, not later than nine. I can't sleep much later 781 00:32:21.430 --> 00:32:24.049 than nine anymore. So I'm getting to nine if I can, 782 00:32:24.549 --> 00:32:26.250 but I'm going back to bed after lunch. I'm eating 783 00:32:26.289 --> 00:32:30.660 a lot of food. I'm having a fry up. I 784 00:32:30.680 --> 00:32:32.440 think I'm getting drunk in the morning, then sleeping it off. 785 00:32:35.069 --> 00:32:36.410 Bloody Mary with the fry up? 786 00:32:36.769 --> 00:32:40.049 Yeah, I'm having a stag night, I think, by myself 787 00:32:40.210 --> 00:32:43.809 in the house. I'm taking myself down. Yeah, I think 788 00:32:43.849 --> 00:32:46.630 I would get really drunk. I haven't been really drunk yet. 789 00:32:47.289 --> 00:32:48.430 Because you sort of regret it in the morning. It 790 00:32:48.450 --> 00:32:50.319 feels a bit stupid in the morning when you've had 791 00:32:50.380 --> 00:32:50.940 a few too many. 792 00:32:51.140 --> 00:32:53.539 Can I say, I got one of the most drunk 793 00:32:53.599 --> 00:32:55.519 I've ever been earlier in lockdown. I was on Zoom 794 00:32:55.539 --> 00:32:57.700 with a few mates. I had eight pints and half 795 00:32:57.720 --> 00:32:59.710 a bottle of whiskey. Didn't realise I was doing it 796 00:32:59.730 --> 00:33:01.890 because I didn't move from my chair. And when you're 797 00:33:01.910 --> 00:33:03.599 in a pub, you realise you're drunk because you've got 798 00:33:03.619 --> 00:33:05.779 to get a cab home or whatever. I just didn't 799 00:33:05.819 --> 00:33:08.859 realise it was happening. And I was sick and then 800 00:33:08.900 --> 00:33:10.819 I blacked out and I went to bed. I woke 801 00:33:10.859 --> 00:33:12.539 up the next day at 10am and I just, it 802 00:33:12.619 --> 00:33:15.309 felt amazing because it all felt different. 803 00:33:14.950 --> 00:33:15.369 For a bit. 804 00:33:15.750 --> 00:33:16.109 Okay. 805 00:33:16.799 --> 00:33:18.059 It felt like I had a hangover. 806 00:33:18.079 --> 00:33:21.000 So that was a little bit of a worry. But 807 00:33:21.019 --> 00:33:22.279 I haven't done it every night since. 808 00:33:22.539 --> 00:33:23.279 Every other. 809 00:33:23.299 --> 00:33:26.059 No, but I've done that once. And it was awful 810 00:33:26.099 --> 00:33:29.000 the next day being hungover. But being hungover allowed you 811 00:33:29.039 --> 00:33:30.180 to do something else. 812 00:33:30.420 --> 00:33:31.680 The one time I got really drunk. 813 00:33:31.819 --> 00:33:33.680 You know when you get drunk normally and you're worried 814 00:33:33.700 --> 00:33:35.250 about what did you do and you can't kind of 815 00:33:35.329 --> 00:33:36.250 trace it and you look at. 816 00:33:36.230 --> 00:33:38.329 Your texts or whatever, right? Yeah. 817 00:33:38.690 --> 00:33:42.730 And the only evidence was that, you know, the last 818 00:33:42.789 --> 00:33:45.980 channel I'd left it on was Sky Sports Cricket. So 819 00:33:46.000 --> 00:33:48.339 I'd obviously just got really drunk and then just watched 820 00:33:48.380 --> 00:33:49.559 an old cricket match. 821 00:33:50.160 --> 00:33:50.920 So rubbish. 822 00:33:51.180 --> 00:33:54.079 It's such a rubbish way to enjoy your drunkenness. 823 00:33:54.460 --> 00:33:56.279 I did get quite, we did a Zoom chat and 824 00:33:56.579 --> 00:33:58.799 I got quite drunk with Rachel and then she went 825 00:33:58.819 --> 00:34:01.500 to bed and I cleared up drunk. So I had 826 00:34:01.519 --> 00:34:03.380 to move, you know, you have your Zoom set up 827 00:34:03.420 --> 00:34:05.450 with your laptop on a thing. So it's a bit unnatural.

828 00:34:05.650 --> 00:34:07.049 We were on a sofa with a table in front 829 00:34:07.069 --> 00:34:08.250 of it. So I moved the table, but it was 830 00:34:08.269 --> 00:34:11.070 covered in glasses and wine. So that all fell off. 831 00:34:11.090 --> 00:34:13.469 So then I cleaned myself up and cleaned the room 832 00:34:13.510 --> 00:34:16.110 up and broke the glass and cut my leg And 833 00:34:17.429 --> 00:34:20.340 the next morning there was blood and glass and children 834 00:34:20.719 --> 00:34:21.099 in the room. 835 00:34:24.920 --> 00:34:25.500 Wow. 836 00:34:25.960 --> 00:34:26.239 Yeah. 837 00:34:26.260 --> 00:34:28.079 Because that's the thing, normally you can just shut that 838 00:34:28.119 --> 00:34:29.659 door and then when you get up the next day 839 00:34:29.699 --> 00:34:31.010 to go to school, you just get rid of them, 840 00:34:31.199 --> 00:34:33.489 chuck them to school, then you can sort the blood out. 841 00:34:33.909 --> 00:34:33.989 Yeah. 842 00:34:34.010 --> 00:34:35.329 Do you know what I mean? Well, I think I 843 00:34:35.369 --> 00:34:37.309 thought I had, I'd cleaned up most of it, but 844 00:34:37.369 --> 00:34:39.769 there were pools of blood and quite a few, you know, 845 00:34:39.829 --> 00:34:41.630 massive chunks of glass that I'd missed. 846 00:34:41.670 --> 00:34:43.219 That's not the only pool you've got, is it? 847 00:34:46.030 --> 00:34:47.639 Or did you fill that in for the tennis court? 848 00:34:47.699 --> 00:34:49.389 We've not got a pool, not got a tennis court. 849 00:34:49.409 --> 00:34:49.949 No, I'm joking. 850 00:34:50.389 --> 00:34:54.030 I don't know what you're talking about. Sorry, Alex. 851 00:34:55.309 --> 00:34:57.230 It's funny because Alex does have, you know, it's a 852 00:34:57.289 --> 00:34:59.489 nice house, but it's just a very normal family home. 853 00:35:00.030 --> 00:35:01.909 And we've tried to make it out like it's some 854 00:35:01.949 --> 00:35:03.170 sort of LA complex. 855 00:35:03.610 --> 00:35:05.809 Yeah, I would say we do own a lot of stuff, 856 00:35:05.849 --> 00:35:08.409 but it's that guilt, a parent's guilt of trying to 857 00:35:08.429 --> 00:35:11.110 give your kids all the things. And then you think, 858 00:35:11.150 --> 00:35:12.949 oh God, we spoiled them by giving them all the things. 859 00:35:13.699 --> 00:35:15.920 but also you want them to be the best kids. 860 00:35:16.219 --> 00:35:17.539 You want them to be popular. 861 00:35:21.300 --> 00:35:22.860 I think as well, because when they get old enough 862 00:35:22.900 --> 00:35:24.880 to go out drinking and stuff, you want to go, yeah, 863 00:35:24.900 --> 00:35:26.199 just have pre-drinks. 864 00:35:25.739 --> 00:35:27.489 At our house, get a vanilla, and then, you know, 865 00:35:27.510 --> 00:35:29.389 they're in your house safe. 866 00:35:29.809 --> 00:35:32.530 You gave me for my wedding, and it's gone down 867 00:35:32.590 --> 00:35:35.429 very well with my daughter, is a smoke machine. 868 00:35:35.690 --> 00:35:36.710 Yeah, that's our standard gift. 869 00:35:37.349 --> 00:35:38.489 Is that your standard gift? 870 00:35:39.030 --> 00:35:41.110 It's 40th, 50th and weddings we give out smoke machines. 871 00:35:41.130 --> 00:35:44.530 LAUGHTER It's a brilliant present because you only use it 872 00:35:44.750 --> 00:35:47.010 probably once a year or something. But you know what 873 00:35:47.329 --> 00:35:49.349 it's good for is when you join a Zoom meeting. 874 00:35:49.389 --> 00:35:53.679 We've done this once. If you set up a disco 875 00:35:53.699 --> 00:35:56.239 light and a smoke machine for just a normal, you 876 00:35:56.260 --> 00:35:57.800 can do it for a Saturday night, but just a 877 00:35:57.840 --> 00:36:00.619 normal sort of work meeting. It's quite funny. 878 00:36:00.920 --> 00:36:03.010 Rob, you always have a question at the end. 879 00:36:03.030 --> 00:36:05.590 The question is, what has been your highlight and low 880 00:36:05.949 --> 00:36:07.130 light of lockdown? 881 00:36:07.250 --> 00:36:09.150 One moment when you thought, this is amazing, actually. I'm 882 00:36:09.170 --> 00:36:11.230 loving this. And a point where you just thought, I can't, 883 00:36:11.329 --> 00:36:11.929 I can't do this. 884 00:36:12.510 --> 00:36:15.369 Yeah. Okay. It's a great question, Rob. It's two questions, 885 00:36:15.670 --> 00:36:18.809 I'd say. Okay. I've got a good one for like 886 00:36:18.849 --> 00:36:21.110 a genuine good moment. I mean, what tends to happen 887 00:36:21.130 --> 00:36:23.070 in our house, you have a moment of euphoria thinking, 888 00:36:23.429 --> 00:36:26.039 isn't this wonderful being as a family? And then within 889 00:36:26.079 --> 00:36:27.920 an instant, you're shouting at one of them because he's 890 00:36:28.119 --> 00:36:31.239 hit one of the other ones. So I'm trying to 891 00:36:31.260 --> 00:36:33.579 think of our lowest moment. I suppose one of the 892 00:36:33.619 --> 00:36:36.880 low moments is not having any time without the kids. 893 00:36:37.159 --> 00:36:38.820 There's not a lot of husband and wife time. 894 00:36:38.840 --> 00:36:38.989 Yeah. 895 00:36:41.380 --> 00:36:44.420 But we've sort of accepted that now it's like we're 896 00:36:44.440 --> 00:36:49.699 in a sort of monastery or something and I think 897 00:36:49.780 --> 00:36:51.800 once you've accepted it it's okay, we've sort of moved 898 00:36:51.880 --> 00:36:55.079 on from that can't you just nip down to the 899 00:36:55.099 --> 00:37:00.869 pool table room when they're in bed I think even 900 00:37:00.909 --> 00:37:04.489 then there's a worry because they're old enough to wander 901 00:37:04.510 --> 00:37:09.550 around imagine that Yeah, the threat of that is enough. 902 00:37:09.570 --> 00:37:13.730 Get off the felt! 903 00:37:13.769 --> 00:37:16.389 My highlight, though, is something I've done, which I recommend 904 00:37:16.570 --> 00:37:21.329 you do. I bought a hunting camera. It's a camouflage camera. 905

00:37:21.349 --> 00:37:24.889 You leave outside tied to a tree. And it's a 906 00:37:24.929 --> 00:37:28.070 motion sensor thing. So if an animal runs past it, 907 00:37:28.090 --> 00:37:30.050 it takes a picture of it. So we're sort of 908 00:37:30.090 --> 00:37:31.289 near the woods. So we've tied it to a tree 909 00:37:31.309 --> 00:37:33.550 which looks over the woods. And every Saturday, we look 910 00:37:33.570 --> 00:37:34.570 at what animals have come by. 911 00:37:34.590 --> 00:37:35.889 Oh, that is good. 912 00:37:36.130 --> 00:37:38.840 And we've had deer and foxes and stuff. And it's genuinely, 913 00:37:38.940 --> 00:37:40.960 that's one of those things you think, yes, I've done 914 00:37:41.000 --> 00:37:42.239 a good job as a dad. 915 00:37:42.280 --> 00:37:42.639 Yeah. 916 00:37:42.960 --> 00:37:44.690 Oh, that's a fun thing to look forward to. 917 00:37:44.869 --> 00:37:47.150 Yeah. We wouldn't have done that without the lockdown. So 918 00:37:47.170 --> 00:37:48.010 that's felt good. 919 00:37:48.369 --> 00:37:50.190 And I would hate for you and Rachel to be 920 00:37:50.210 --> 00:37:52.190 going down the pool room and get caught on the camera. 921 00:37:52.230 --> 00:37:54.269 That would be the worst. 922 00:37:54.849 --> 00:37:55.650 Daddy, what's this? 923 00:37:55.670 --> 00:37:57.210 What animal's that? 924 00:37:57.909 --> 00:38:00.360 It only filmed in 10 seconds first. So that would be, yeah, 925 00:38:00.380 --> 00:38:02.599 that would be it, I think. 20 seconds last. 926 00:38:02.679 --> 00:38:05.579 That was your nickname at uni, wasn't it? 927 00:38:06.219 --> 00:38:08.829 Um, Alex, thank you so much. 928 00:38:09.170 --> 00:38:11.949 I do apologise that we've made you out to be. 929 00:38:12.309 --> 00:38:12.670 Some. 930 00:38:12.650 --> 00:38:14.070 Sort of sex-starved billionaire. 931 00:38:16.750 --> 00:38:20.059 I could only say that wasn't the intention of the interview. 932 00:38:20.639 --> 00:38:22.760 The intention of the interview was to make Rob feel 933 00:38:22.820 --> 00:38:24.420 better about how bad it's going for him. 934 00:38:24.960 --> 00:38:26.440 And I think he lashed out. 935 00:38:26.780 --> 00:38:28.199 Yeah, I think I've lashed out because you seem to 936 00:38:28.239 --> 00:38:29.940 be absolutely nailing it, Alex, and I'm jealous. 937 00:38:30.260 --> 00:38:32.860 Well, I think there's no point pretending anything, is there? 938 00:38:33.099 --> 00:38:33.239 So. 939 00:38:33.739 --> 00:38:35.980 I think it's worse when you have all these celebrities 940 00:38:36.099 --> 00:38:38.710 complaining about lockdown. You might as well rejoice in it 941 00:38:38.769 --> 00:38:41.110 if it's going all right, I suppose. Also, we give 942 00:38:41.150 --> 00:38:47.329 loads of money to charity, guys. Over nine-tenths of what 943 00:38:47.349 --> 00:38:49.690 I earn goes out. 944 00:38:49.730 --> 00:38:50.389 Bill Gates. 945 00:38:50.730 --> 00:38:53.670 Thank you, Alex. You are a good man. 946 00:38:54.070 --> 00:38:54.380 Pleasure. 947 00:38:54.449 --> 00:38:57.659 And I hope that your main hope of lockdown, that 948 00:38:57.699 --> 00:39:00.219 Liverpool win the league, does come to pass. 949 00:39:00.719 --> 00:39:03.320 Thanks, Alex. OK, bye, everyone. Bye-bye. 950 00:39:05.659 --> 00:39:08.039 So, Rob, that was recorded a couple of weeks ago. 951 00:39:08.400 --> 00:39:10.739 How are you feeling about the return of sport? Did 952 00:39:10.760 --> 00:39:13.800 you watch at the weekend the Bundesliga? 953 00:39:13.820 --> 00:39:16.119 Yes, I put it on, but I found it boring. 954 00:39:16.239 --> 00:39:18.420 Because it was German football or because there was no crowd? 955 00:39:18.440 --> 00:39:20.010 No crowd, no atmosphere. 956 00:39:20.300 --> 00:39:22.210 And I think not just because you can't hear them, 957 00:39:22.349 --> 00:39:24.489 it feeds into the performance of the players. They're not 958 00:39:24.510 --> 00:39:27.969 allowed to celebrate properly. They've got to do elbow taps. 959 00:39:28.070 --> 00:39:29.949 And it was all quite, it felt like a priest. 960 00:39:30.500 --> 00:39:32.469 even though there's a lot to play for. So it'll 961 00:39:32.489 --> 00:39:35.050 be even weirder, the Premier League coming back, when... There's 962 00:39:35.150 --> 00:39:36.170 nothing to play for. 963 00:39:36.449 --> 00:39:39.630 It's going to be a very weird period. I know, obviously, 964 00:39:39.650 --> 00:39:42.090 this is away from lockdown parenting chat, but it doesn't 965 00:39:42.210 --> 00:39:45.320 really need to come back. It does feel very surreal 966 00:39:45.380 --> 00:39:45.699 to me. 967 00:39:45.900 --> 00:39:48.780 Just say Liverpool were champions, but the season didn't finish 968 00:39:48.820 --> 00:39:50.500 at that point. We had to stop it because of 969 00:39:50.539 --> 00:39:51.760 a worldwide pandemic. 970 00:39:51.820 --> 00:39:53.619 They won. Whoever was in those positions went down. 971 00:39:53.639 --> 00:39:53.969 That's it. 972 00:39:54.539 --> 00:39:55.840 It's quite simple. 973 00:39:55.860 --> 00:39:57.920 That's what's happened to Plymouth. And we're going up. 974 00:39:58.400 --> 00:40:01.179 So I'm absolutely delighted by it. But I do feel 975 00:40:01.199 --> 00:40:03.199 a bit sorry. I used to be quite happy that 976 00:40:03.219 --> 00:40:04.969 Liverpool weren't going to get all the glory. But when 977 00:40:05.010 --> 00:40:07.070 I speak to nice fans like Alex, I feel a 978 00:40:07.070 --> 00:40:09.369 bit bad for him because it's something you've waited for. 979 00:40:09.969 --> 00:40:19.059 Ha ha! Never mind! Oh dear! Never mind! 980 00:40:19.500 --> 00:40:20.960 If you want to get in touch with the show, 981 00:40:21.139 --> 00:40:22.360 then this is how. 982 00:40:24.469 --> 00:40:30.079 Email us hello at lockdownparenting.co.uk or we're on Twitter at 983 00:40:30.260 --> 00:40:36.760 Lockdown Parents. Don't forget to subscribe to the podcast and 984 00:40:36.880 --> 00:40:40.360 rate and review it. Five star rating, please. And you 985 00:40:40.380 --> 00:40:42.500 can give us a little bit of feedback. That's always nice, 986 00:40:42.539 --> 00:40:45.800 isn't it? And tell your friends. Also, there's loads of people. 987 00:40:45.880 --> 00:40:48.000 I've got a couple of mates at home, Josh, that 988 00:40:48.199 --> 00:40:51.000 about three years ago didn't know what podcast. 989 00:40:50.510 --> 00:40:52.650 Or Uber was, but I got them into it, right? 990 00:40:53.150 --> 00:40:56.150 There are people, like, you've got your mum or your cousin, 991 00:40:56.170 --> 00:40:58.670 your auntie or whatever, just grab their phone, download it 992 00:40:58.690 --> 00:41:00.110 and stick it on their phone because you'll know they 993 00:41:00.150 --> 00:41:02.130 like it, but they can't work their phone. 994 00:41:02.150 --> 00:41:03.130 So do that and add them in. 995 00:41:03.150 --> 00:41:03.530 Exactly. 996 00:41:03.570 --> 00:41:07.010 Let them get the joy and relatability and relax about 997 00:41:07.030 --> 00:41:07.570 their parenting. 998 00:41:07.750 --> 00:41:12.050 Exactly, because the radio is too heavy these days. All 999 00:41:12.070 --> 00:41:15.949 the news on the radio, obviously, understandably, it's not a laugh. 1000 00:41:16.190 --> 00:41:17.349 No. This is a laugh. 1001 00:41:17.389 --> 00:41:17.590 Yeah. 1002 00:41:18.050 --> 00:41:19.469 Just think less and listen to this. 1003 00:41:21.460 --> 00:41:22.360 Think less. 1004 00:41:22.590 --> 00:41:24.969 Think less, do more, listen to this. That's what I say. 1005 00:41:25.869 --> 00:41:26.090 Right. 1006 00:41:26.449 --> 00:41:27.239 See you next week. 1007 00:41:27.980 --> 00:41:28.679 See you next week. 1008 00:41:28.800 --> 00:41:29.099 Bye.