S01 EP29: Romesh Ranganathan

WEBVTT
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Hello, I'm Josh Whitacombe.
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And I'm Rob Beckett.
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Welcome to Lockdown Parenting Hell. The show in which Rob
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and I discuss what it's like to be a parent
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during lockdown, which I would say can be a little tricky.
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Yeah!
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Yeah!
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So, in an effort to make some kind of sense
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of the current situation... And to.
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Make me feel better about my increasingly terrible parenting skills.
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Each episode we'll be chatting to a famous parent about
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how well they're coping.
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Or hopefully not.
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And we will be hearing from you, the listener, with
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your tales of lockdown parenting woe.
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Because let's be honest, none of us know what we're doing.
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Hello and welcome to Lockdown Parenting Hell with... Josh Whitaker. And?
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Bob Beckett. That's two different children, Rob.
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I was going to say, I just thought one of
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them had a spliff for the second word, for the
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second name.
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Very much more chilled vibe for the Rob Beckett, wasn't it?
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Yeah, well, that is three-year-old Thomas, who is the chilled one,
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and six-year-old Charlie. And I had to ask Thomas a
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few times, as he wouldn't stop screaming No Simpsons at
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me to begin with because I was interrupting his YouTube video.
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But eventually he gave in.
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We clocked it.
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He wanted to get it over and done with so
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he could watch YouTube again. Couldn't he?
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Exactly. He's not into the podcast.
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He's not into the podcast.
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Give him time. Give him time. He'll be listening back
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to this one day.
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He will.
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He'll find it.
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He will when he's got kids and he'll regret that.
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How are you, Rob?
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That was his moment.
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I'm all right, mate.
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I'm not too bad.
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Did I tell you about the best day ever?
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Did I talk about that last week?
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No.
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The best day ever.
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It doesn't sound like something I want to hear about,
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but carry on.
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Okay, so we speak a lot, don't we, about like.
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You basically started this podcast because I was having a
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worse time than you.
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Yeah.
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That's how it works.
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Anyway, I had a day the other day. I had
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the kids all day. Lou was going out because I'd
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been working a lot. I said, look, you just go
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out for the whole day on Saturday and I'll sort
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the kids out. Yeah, so basically, right, she went out
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for the day and I... Got up with the kids,
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even though I'd worked the night before, and normally I don't,
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that's normally the vibe if I'm working late. I got
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up with the kids, okay, like 6am. Then she went
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out for the day. I took them out for lunch
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to a little cafe. Then we went to the park,
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played in the park. Then we fed some ducks, not
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even bread, actual bird seed feed, like some little guardian nerd,
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because that's what you have to feed them, right? Oh,
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then I thought I'll go home and just chill in
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the garden or something.
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No, I didn't.
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I took a four-year-old and a two-year-old to the shops
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for the weekly shop.
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That's right.
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That's right. Full trolley. Full trolley.
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Big shop.
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Big shop. They were both out of the trolley.
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Yeah, sure.
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I reckon I spent 40 quid on stuff I didn't
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want or need.
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If it keeps them quiet, them chucking stuff in, slam
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dunking it in like basketball.
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So I did a full shop.
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Yeah.
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Anyway, I got them home and then I set up
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this new Playmobil toy and played with them for a bit. Actually,
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you know, interacted with them rather than keeping them busy
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while I did my own life. I played with them,
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and then I tidied up the hole downstairs, loaded the dishwasher,
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I cleaned out the hamster cage, and then roasted a
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fucking chicken.
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No way.
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Yes, please.
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What happened?
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Why?
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I don't know.
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How did you do this?
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I just woke up high on life. Also, well, basically
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I was going to take them out for lunch, break
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up the day. And then I was out and I
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thought we do need shopping. And I thought I can
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either go home and it'd be stressful and not productive
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or try and be productive. Even though if it's awful,
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at least I've done that job.
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Take me through how the shopping went. Did you not
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put one of them in the trolley, like in that
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little awful little seat.
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Bit in the trolley?
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So the little one doesn't want to do that because
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she's a big girl. And then the big girl does
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because she wants to try and be a little girl
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for attention, but then realizes it's rubbish. So she sits
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in it for about two seconds and, She's too tall
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and big for it. She stiffs her legs. It's like
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trying to get a dead body out of it. She
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can't move her. Obviously, I promised them sweets, an ice
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cream and a magazine.
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Yeah, the big three.
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Initial negotiation.
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So that was your negotiating point. That wasn't even where
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they got you to. That was your initial.
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Oh, initial.
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But then I worked at magazines are well expensive. So
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I actually got my toy because it was cheaper than
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a magazine. Like a little four quid toy.
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Anyway, so I did all that. And then it was bad, though,
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because that was how successful my day was. And then
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in the shop.
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The four-year-old was loving it she was like trying to
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help and then do we need lemons and an orange
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I was like no we don't need them don't worry
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we don't need those today and we got home and
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then because I thought I'm going to roast this chicken
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now I went ah I need to stick an orange
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and a lemon up its arse it's going to be
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dry because that's the vibe I don't know if you
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roast the chicken I took the Alison Hammond approach all-purpose
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seasoning aps all over it it's an absolute it's outrageously
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good i couldn't believe i can't believe i've lived this
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life but i've got a bit of a curveball they
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didn't have all purpose seasoning but they did have every
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day oh season oh i don't know i don't know
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what the difference i don't know if all purpose is
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a little bit more punchy you couldn't have it seven
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days a week yeah every day seems like it i
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don't i don't know if it's.
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Every day seasoning that feels like That feels to me
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like you're going to get bored of it. What's going
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to happen if you're doing it every day is you're
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going to slightly just up the amount you use every
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day until you're absolutely going for it on the seasoning
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just to get any kind of hit out of it
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at all.
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I would argue every day seasoning is salt and pepper.
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That would be my point in the marketing meeting. Every
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day season, sort of pepper, that's the new vibe. Anyway,
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so I said to her, no, we don't need that.
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And I was a little bit forceful, so I apologise. Anyway,
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we got home and I said, oh, I need an
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orange and lemon here. And then she went, you forgot
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the lemon. I said, do you want... And I was like,
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oh my God, I've got a four-year-old wife. She's turned
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into Lou. And then the whole day, she just went,
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you forgot the lemon, didn't you? Just bullied me about this,
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like negging me about this lemon. And then when Lou
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got home, I was like, oh, you had a good day, girls.
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And all the stuff that's happened, ducks, lunch out, to
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the shops, got a toy, all this. Daddy forgot the lemon.
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Even on my best day. Even on your best day,
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you'll forget a lemon.
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How smug were you when you took Lou through everything
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you'd achieved in the day?
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Unbearably.
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That's why I was going through my phone. I wrote
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it all, pathetically wrote it all down. LAUGHTER Oh, also, oh, yeah.
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I forgot.
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I did an exercise cycle. I did a spin class
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in the morning as well.
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Where were the kids doing that?
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So, basically, I waited for Lou to get up and
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she was having a coffee while they were watching telly,
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banged out a 40-minute peloton class.
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Oh, my word. You're like Erin Brockovich or something, like
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this great single mum who's just getting everything achieved.
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And I also did take my local counsellor's call, but
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I don't want to bring it up until the proceedings
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are finished.
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But, yeah, that was my... I was just so proud
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of myself. I mean, you know, I feel I'm being
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smug now.
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People.
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listen to this to hear stories that make themselves feel better.
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But sometimes you've got to give yourself a pat on
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the back, Josh.
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I had quite an achieve. I achieved yesterday. I was
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quite pleased with this.
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Oh yeah.
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Well, I basically managed to get in a position where
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I just couldn't believe how lucky I was in that.
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So our toy shop now, because of COVID, you have
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to kind of book an appointment.
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All right.
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So when you go to the toy shop.
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And they're worried about catching a profit.
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So you get your 15 you walk around the toy
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shop it's like you know like when like Elton John
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gets to walk around a shop on his own yeah it's.
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Like Michael Jackson went shopping with who was it Martin Bashir.
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Yeah exactly it's like that so you get the whole
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shop to yourself for 15 minutes so we went there
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and we bought Impulse Buy got a like canvas kind
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of Wendy house oh okay that's like a basically like
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a big kind of tent that you put up in
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the garden she can go in and out of it
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And then on the way home, went past a second-hand
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bookstall and they had the full collection of Where's Wally's?
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And I thought, well, even though she's only two and
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a half, I'm getting them just because I want to
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kind of.
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That's great.
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Re-read them.
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Tough to find, they are.
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Tough to.
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Full collection.
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Really nice. Really nice.
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Lovely stuff.
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Anyway, we get back. She's going in and out of
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the Wendy house and the Where's Wally's are in the
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Wendy house. Then she instructs me that I'm to sit
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and wait in the Wendy house while she plays outside it. So...
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I spent half an hour of my afternoon just on
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my own in the Wendy house reading Where's Wally? And
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it was absolutely superb.
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Reading's a stretch.
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Look at that. So it's just like, I've been instructed
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to sit on my own in the Wendy house with
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only the Where's Wally's for company. Yeah. It was like being,
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you know, like being locked in in the crystal maze
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or whatever, but with the Wales wallet.
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It was so good. Also, you're technically playing. Exactly. You're
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doing a shift with the kids.
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This is parenting.
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I do find I buy my kids presents and toys
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that I want.
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Yeah.
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That I wanted as a kid.
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Totally.
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They want to go, yeah, what about this? Let's get that.
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Let's get the Back to the Future Playmobil set. You've
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got no idea what that film is. You're only a
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character star. You'd much prefer a Trolls one, but let's
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get that.
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Come on. But that's a lovely afternoon.
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Yeah, it was a really nice afternoon. I had a
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very pleasant time. Found Wally.
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00:09:11.899 --> 00:09:14.509
Well, if this is too positive, let's tease ahead for
255
00:09:14.669 --> 00:09:16.009
a story I'm going to tell on Friday.
256
00:09:16.110 --> 00:09:16.330
Oh, yeah.
257
00:09:16.450 --> 00:09:18.190
Where I tried to have a shit and I got
258
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interrupted nine times in nine different ways.
259
00:09:21.149 --> 00:09:21.690
Oh, my God.
260
00:09:21.750 --> 00:09:23.740
Well. What we need to do, I'll say this to
261
00:09:23.779 --> 00:09:25.440
the producer now as a kind of, we want those
262
00:09:25.519 --> 00:09:29.789
ding sound effects, you know, when it's like counting up
263
00:09:29.830 --> 00:09:32.070
an amount of things on a clip.
264
00:09:32.370 --> 00:09:34.590
It may be more, it may be one less, but yeah,
265
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I'll go through all the different reasons of why I
266
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had to interrupt my shit. It was almost like a
267
00:09:39.320 --> 00:09:42.139
Dom Jolly prank. The amount of things like turning up.
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But yeah, so that's a less positive story.
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That you can all look forward to.
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Now, today, Rob. Yes. We've got a friend of Prince
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William on the show.
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Well, we've got what a weekend our guest has had.
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I mean, it's absolutely unbelievable. He won a BAFTA.
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Yeah.
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On Friday.
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Overrated.
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00:09:58.370 --> 00:09:59.769
Oh, the old stiff neck awards.
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00:09:59.789 --> 00:09:59.950
Yeah.
279
00:10:01.279 --> 00:10:03.720
Yeah he won a BAFTA it's a Romesh Ranganathan i
280
00:10:03.740 --> 00:10:05.840
guess won a BAFTA his misadventures show yeah i'm not
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00:10:05.860 --> 00:10:08.909
against BAFTAs josh if people if it means a lot
282
00:10:08.929 --> 00:10:10.870
to people that's good for them but i just i i.
283
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Just if that's how you're judging success then you need
284
00:10:12.730 --> 00:10:13.850
to have a long hard look in the mirror if
285
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you ask me.
286
00:10:14.350 --> 00:10:17.009
Rob yeah i'd say winning a BAFTA makes you happy
287
00:10:17.289 --> 00:10:21.100
go and see a therapist If it makes you sad,
288
00:10:21.509 --> 00:10:24.559
go and see a therapist. If you're nonplussed and think, oh,
289
00:10:24.600 --> 00:10:27.639
that's a good positive thing, you're all right. But if
290
00:10:27.659 --> 00:10:30.769
you cried, either happy or sad.
291
00:10:30.230 --> 00:10:35.799
Tears, sort your priorities out, all right?
292
00:10:37.740 --> 00:10:39.750
But it's an amazing achievement and it's great and I'm
293
00:10:39.759 --> 00:10:40.590
very happy for Ramesh.
294
00:10:40.850 --> 00:10:41.289
Good on him.
295
00:10:41.350 --> 00:10:44.649
But then also, he watched the FA Cup final with
296
00:10:44.690 --> 00:10:48.029
Prince William. He popped up on the telly on BBC
297
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One during the cup final. I mean, that is for
298
00:10:50.289 --> 00:10:52.190
a mental health charity, but that's got to be a
299
00:10:52.269 --> 00:10:53.350
dry afternoon, isn't it?
300
00:10:53.710 --> 00:10:54.269
That's tough.
301
00:10:54.429 --> 00:10:57.149
It was such a strange image of Romesh on a
302
00:10:57.210 --> 00:10:59.809
deck chair. In my mind, he's on a deck chair.
303
00:11:00.190 --> 00:11:00.429
Yeah.
304
00:11:00.649 --> 00:11:03.519
In the garden of Kensington Palace with Prince William. What
305
00:11:03.559 --> 00:11:04.419
are they talking about?
306
00:11:04.440 --> 00:11:06.740
They weren't just them two, like some sort of love
307
00:11:06.759 --> 00:11:11.659
island date. I think Romesh is an ambassador for the charity,
308
00:11:11.730 --> 00:11:14.350
so there was all people from the charity there and stuff.
309
00:11:14.429 --> 00:11:16.009
But, you know, good on him.
310
00:11:16.250 --> 00:11:16.840
Good on him.
311
00:11:16.850 --> 00:11:19.590
It's a tough afternoon. I mean, you can't relax, can you?
312
00:11:20.230 --> 00:11:23.029
And also, this was recorded before we realised he was
313
00:11:23.080 --> 00:11:25.299
best friends with Prince William. Otherwise, we'd have obviously asked
314
00:11:25.320 --> 00:11:26.019
him all about that.
315
00:11:26.399 --> 00:11:27.779
Yeah, of course, this was done before.
316
00:11:27.799 --> 00:11:30.120
Also, a little bit odd, I hosted the Royal Variety
317
00:11:30.159 --> 00:11:32.039
with Romesh in front of Prince William.
318
00:11:32.279 --> 00:11:34.039
I didn't get an invite to Little Garden Party, did I?
319
00:11:34.080 --> 00:11:36.149
So he obviously knows he's got a favourite, but let's
320
00:11:36.190 --> 00:11:37.190
not get bogged down by that.
321
00:11:37.370 --> 00:11:39.789
It was Romesh, Prince William and Tony Adams. It's strange
322
00:11:39.830 --> 00:11:41.190
that Tony Adams is the next name.
323
00:11:41.210 --> 00:11:42.009
Was Tony Adams there as well?
324
00:11:42.049 --> 00:11:45.029
Yeah, the next name on the list after you, Rob. Well,
325
00:11:45.049 --> 00:11:46.690
if we're not getting Romesh and Rob, we should get
326
00:11:46.730 --> 00:11:48.899
Romesh and Tony Adams. That's the obvious duo.
327
00:11:49.299 --> 00:11:52.799
Let's be honest about this. No offence to me, Tony
328
00:11:52.840 --> 00:11:56.129
Adams or Romesh. Prince William doesn't know or care or
329
00:11:56.149 --> 00:11:59.419
give a shit who's there. He just turns up, he
330
00:11:59.500 --> 00:12:02.100
shakes her hand, smiles, has a photo, and.
331
00:12:02.059 --> 00:12:03.360
Then cracks on with his daddy.
332
00:12:05.559 --> 00:12:07.580
I doubt Prince William has much of a say who
333
00:12:07.679 --> 00:12:08.860
is there and who's not, don't you think?
334
00:12:09.200 --> 00:12:10.000
No, he's a.
335
00:12:10.019 --> 00:12:12.960
Huge fan of... He actually is a huge fan of
336
00:12:13.000 --> 00:12:15.340
the Ranga Nation, Prince William, and he's going to be
337
00:12:15.399 --> 00:12:17.039
one of the members of the Ranga Nation in the
338
00:12:17.070 --> 00:12:18.090
next series.
339
00:12:18.370 --> 00:12:19.990
I wouldn't rule out Prince Andrew being it in the
340
00:12:20.009 --> 00:12:20.429
next series.
341
00:12:20.450 --> 00:12:20.590
So.
342
00:12:24.529 --> 00:12:28.149
It's a pleasure to speak to Romesh. It was genuinely,
343
00:12:28.889 --> 00:12:30.769
I think it might be the most we've laughed in
344
00:12:30.990 --> 00:12:32.330
an interview we've done for this.
345
00:12:32.690 --> 00:12:34.490
Yeah, he sort of went off the topic of parenting
346
00:12:34.509 --> 00:12:38.409
and went on a bit more about Fortnite and Andy Peters.
347
00:12:38.750 --> 00:12:40.929
Yeah, it's just nice to catch up with friends when
348
00:12:40.980 --> 00:12:42.350
they're not hobnobbing, isn't it?
349
00:12:42.629 --> 00:12:44.529
Yeah, but it's hard for me to get any time
350
00:12:44.549 --> 00:12:47.120
with Romesh now. He's off with Prince William and stuff
351
00:12:47.139 --> 00:12:49.620
like that. I'm very much the horn to his cordon. But,
352
00:12:49.639 --> 00:12:50.759
you know, I'm happy with that.
353
00:12:51.259 --> 00:12:53.860
Do you know what I mean? I'll take that. He's
354
00:12:53.899 --> 00:12:55.480
had a good career in the old Horny, so.
355
00:12:55.700 --> 00:13:00.080
Here we go. This is Sir... I imagine it's going
356
00:13:00.100 --> 00:13:01.299
to be Sir very soon.
357
00:13:01.740 --> 00:13:02.340
Oh, yeah.
358
00:13:02.559 --> 00:13:05.399
Oh, you'll love that. Sir Romesh. Get in there, boy.
359
00:13:05.779 --> 00:13:07.120
Sir Romesh Ranganathan.
360
00:13:09.330 --> 00:13:10.139
Hello, Romesh.
361
00:13:10.179 --> 00:13:12.070
Thank you for doing the podcast. How are you doing?
362
00:13:12.409 --> 00:13:15.269
I'm very good, Rob. Thanks very much for having me. Hello, Josh.
363
00:13:15.590 --> 00:13:16.330
Hello. How are you?
364
00:13:16.690 --> 00:13:18.950
That's quite formal, isn't it? Yes, yeah.
365
00:13:18.970 --> 00:13:20.090
We've never met before.
366
00:13:20.529 --> 00:13:21.210
No, absolutely.
367
00:13:21.389 --> 00:13:24.700
Yeah, Romesh, you little prick. LAUGHTER Give us half an
368
00:13:24.720 --> 00:13:26.019
hour of good stuff about your kids so we.
369
00:13:25.980 --> 00:13:28.490
Can fuck off and put it online. Hello, you fucking,
370
00:13:28.509 --> 00:13:30.009
you pair of cunts. How's it going?
371
00:13:31.370 --> 00:13:33.289
OK, man, let's cut to the chase. We've got stuff
372
00:13:33.370 --> 00:13:35.750
to do later. Churn out some stuff about your kids
373
00:13:35.769 --> 00:13:37.529
we'll crack on. Which one's the arsehole?
374
00:13:39.970 --> 00:13:44.500
Well, just in case no-one's aware of your set-up, Romesh,
375
00:13:45.059 --> 00:13:49.000
I mean, with children, not Mike-wise, what is the situation?
376
00:13:50.360 --> 00:13:54.179
I've got three boys, 10, 8 and 5, and I'm
377
00:13:54.279 --> 00:13:58.620
using a blue Yeti, if that's a setup you want
378
00:13:58.659 --> 00:14:01.750
to know about.
379
00:14:01.759 --> 00:14:03.549
So 8, 10 and 5, you live in Crawley.
380
00:14:04.929 --> 00:14:07.309
I live in Crawley with my wife, yes, and the children.
381
00:14:08.149 --> 00:14:10.090
And to give you an idea of how that's going,
382
00:14:10.190 --> 00:14:11.850
I'm currently talking to you from my garage.
383
00:14:11.870 --> 00:14:18.529
LAUGHTER How's lockdown been though? Because I spoke to you
384
00:14:18.549 --> 00:14:20.929
about it a bit, Rob, but like you, I work
385
00:14:20.970 --> 00:14:23.740
a lot, Josh works a lot, you work loads and
386
00:14:23.840 --> 00:14:26.100
has a lot of travel involved in what you do,
387
00:14:26.139 --> 00:14:28.820
misadventures and stuff. How's it been for you not to
388
00:14:28.860 --> 00:14:32.320
be working as much and be indoors all this time?
389
00:14:32.580 --> 00:14:36.830
I don't think it's been good for Lisa and the
390
00:14:36.870 --> 00:14:41.750
kids because I think when I've been away with work
391
00:14:41.830 --> 00:14:44.360
and sort of come back every now and again, What
392
00:14:44.389 --> 00:14:47.500
they thought is, oh, it'd be great to see more
393
00:14:47.539 --> 00:14:51.360
of that. What's happened is they've now had more of
394
00:14:51.399 --> 00:14:55.659
that delivered and they're not keen. Yeah. Because the truth is,
395
00:14:55.700 --> 00:14:58.159
is that, you know, this whole time Lisa's sort of
396
00:14:58.179 --> 00:14:59.799
saying to me, oh, you know, be nice if you
397
00:14:59.940 --> 00:15:01.259
were home a bit more. And I sort of thought
398
00:15:01.279 --> 00:15:03.870
I'm going to manage that a bit. When lockdown started,
399
00:15:04.429 --> 00:15:07.080
I was very philosophical about it. You know, I was thinking, oh,
400
00:15:07.090 --> 00:15:09.929
this is actually, the silver lining to all this is that,
401
00:15:09.970 --> 00:15:12.190
you know, we're going to spend more quality time together
402
00:15:12.230 --> 00:15:14.210
and it's going to be a wonderful time for us
403
00:15:14.230 --> 00:15:15.769
to get to know each other. Maybe, do you know what?
404
00:15:15.809 --> 00:15:20.049
Maybe I'll sort of stream back, you know, pull back
405
00:15:20.120 --> 00:15:21.980
on work a little bit and sort of use this
406
00:15:22.039 --> 00:15:25.980
as an opportunity to really rethink things. Now, I am
407
00:15:26.059 --> 00:15:30.620
looking for any travel show anywhere and anywhere. Honestly, I
408
00:15:30.700 --> 00:15:30.879
am ready.
409
00:15:30.899 --> 00:15:32.080
Because it would be good for you to be on
410
00:15:32.159 --> 00:15:33.779
our TV a bit more, actually, Rob. Sure.
411
00:15:34.580 --> 00:15:36.960
Rom, you should start hosting that Escape to the Sun.
412
00:15:37.000 --> 00:15:38.899
You know what she's looking for.
413
00:15:38.940 --> 00:15:40.740
Where do those presenters come from?
414
00:15:40.820 --> 00:15:43.679
It's a different one, isn't it? It's insane. It is insane.
415
00:15:43.720 --> 00:15:46.480
I think they just go around bars or whatever, find
416
00:15:46.500 --> 00:15:47.850
someone who looks a little bit lively.
417
00:15:48.289 --> 00:15:50.889
You could do that thing on This Morning when they
418
00:15:50.909 --> 00:15:54.110
do a prize giveaway that's in a holiday. There'll be
419
00:15:54.129 --> 00:15:55.230
you walking along a beach.
420
00:15:55.570 --> 00:15:58.110
You just walk around one day of your holiday and
421
00:15:58.129 --> 00:16:01.029
film some little links. Yes, please. That sounds ideal.
422
00:16:01.210 --> 00:16:02.730
Joe Swash does loads of them. He loves it.
423
00:16:03.070 --> 00:16:05.269
He just goes to the Maldives for about nine hours
424
00:16:05.600 --> 00:16:06.389
and then flies home.
425
00:16:07.139 --> 00:16:09.419
So is it literally, are you literally there for the day?
426
00:16:09.440 --> 00:16:11.279
I think you stay for a couple of nights, but
427
00:16:11.299 --> 00:16:13.080
then what they try and do is they try, whenever
428
00:16:13.100 --> 00:16:15.019
I spoke to people that do it, Andy Peters and
429
00:16:15.059 --> 00:16:17.120
Joe Swash are like, yeah, it's actually quite hard work
430
00:16:17.139 --> 00:16:18.779
because you're there and you're just having to walk along
431
00:16:18.799 --> 00:16:22.419
the beach eight loads of times. Oh, shut up. It's
432
00:16:22.440 --> 00:16:23.039
absolutely fine.
433
00:16:24.009 --> 00:16:27.169
What I would do to sit in on a conversation
434
00:16:27.210 --> 00:16:34.429
between Rob Beckett, Joe Swash and Andy Peters. What chain
435
00:16:34.470 --> 00:16:37.899
of world events have happened to lead those three people
436
00:16:37.940 --> 00:16:40.019
to be in a room in direct conversation with each other?
437
00:16:40.419 --> 00:16:42.899
It was genuinely the worst news night I've ever seen.
438
00:16:44.879 --> 00:16:47.399
Did you think question time was a bit lowbrow this week?
439
00:16:51.179 --> 00:16:53.360
Do you know who else was there as well? Bobby
440
00:16:53.399 --> 00:16:57.000
Cole Norrish from Towie. Do you want me to set
441
00:16:57.019 --> 00:16:59.549
the scene? Because obviously we get me out of here now.
442
00:16:59.570 --> 00:17:02.110
We've gone back to the hotel for a couple of cosmopolitans.
443
00:17:02.429 --> 00:17:03.330
All sat around the pool.
444
00:17:03.809 --> 00:17:06.609
Yeah, just ITV viewers wanking themselves into a frenzy at
445
00:17:06.630 --> 00:17:08.190
the sight of what's happened.
446
00:17:10.500 --> 00:17:14.220
Here's Morgan standing over us, just squeezing milk from his tits.
447
00:17:14.299 --> 00:17:17.660
And a dick.
448
00:17:19.289 --> 00:17:27.990
Tag was in her arse. Let's go. Yeah, what a
449
00:17:28.009 --> 00:17:28.569
day that was.
450
00:17:28.690 --> 00:17:29.650
What a day.
451
00:17:30.349 --> 00:17:31.210
Yeah, holy shit.
452
00:17:31.230 --> 00:17:32.910
I was just going to say, a little fact about
453
00:17:32.950 --> 00:17:35.220
Andy Peters, never takes his top off, even in hot weather,
454
00:17:35.559 --> 00:17:37.240
even though he's ripped.
455
00:17:37.299 --> 00:17:37.640
Really?
456
00:17:38.079 --> 00:17:41.119
Yeah, he's stacked. Has he ever given you a reason
457
00:17:41.140 --> 00:17:42.839
for that? I don't suppose you'd ask the question directly.
458
00:17:42.859 --> 00:17:48.069
Andy Peters, I've only ever seen, wearing a skin-tight polo shirt, shorts... Big,
459
00:17:48.130 --> 00:17:52.369
thick Jerry Seinfeld trainers and socks pulled up, like, mid-level.
460
00:17:52.910 --> 00:17:53.509
Oh, yeah.
461
00:17:53.529 --> 00:17:54.109
Whatever's happening.
462
00:17:54.349 --> 00:17:57.150
If he's in his garage on telly for ITV or
463
00:17:57.190 --> 00:17:59.930
if he's in Australia, that's his outfit.
464
00:17:59.950 --> 00:18:02.420
He's got a kind of Carlton vibe, hasn't he, I think?
465
00:18:02.619 --> 00:18:03.480
Yeah.
466
00:18:03.500 --> 00:18:05.779
Kind of a preppy look. Good guy.
467
00:18:06.220 --> 00:18:07.960
He's got a tattoo of Ed the Duck on his
468
00:18:08.019 --> 00:18:10.680
stomach that he can't let anyone see that he can't. Yeah.
469
00:18:10.940 --> 00:18:12.640
It says Duck Life across the top of it.
470
00:18:12.660 --> 00:18:12.740
Yeah.
471
00:18:17.670 --> 00:18:19.680
So I went to the same... I know this isn't
472
00:18:19.720 --> 00:18:21.059
why we're here, but I did used to go to
473
00:18:21.099 --> 00:18:24.119
the same gym as Andy Peters on a Friday morning. Right.
474
00:18:25.039 --> 00:18:28.160
Because it was next to.
475
00:18:28.180 --> 00:18:33.569
This is like real-life Stella Street. It's so.
476
00:18:33.630 --> 00:18:35.130
Craig Fairbrass goes to my gym.
477
00:18:35.150 --> 00:18:37.609
You know, Dan from EastEnders. But it's not a game
478
00:18:37.670 --> 00:18:39.730
of gym buddy who's who.
479
00:18:42.049 --> 00:18:44.599
Anyway, Rom, it's been great to speak to you about
480
00:18:44.640 --> 00:18:45.960
your kids, and I'll see you later.
481
00:18:46.079 --> 00:18:48.380
Talk us through Andy Peters at the gym, Josh.
482
00:18:48.579 --> 00:18:53.279
Right, so it's because, obviously, we do Last Leg in
483
00:18:53.319 --> 00:18:56.000
the same building that they do... It's not called GMTV,
484
00:18:56.039 --> 00:18:58.329
what's it called these days? Good Morning Britain, right? Yeah.
485
00:18:58.509 --> 00:19:01.730
So he'd finish Good Morning Britain, go to that gym
486
00:19:01.769 --> 00:19:05.549
that's next to the BBC, and I'd go before Last Leg.
487
00:19:06.390 --> 00:19:12.250
So we'd cross over... He's absolutely ripped doing those big old,
488
00:19:12.869 --> 00:19:15.230
so those big old, wait.
489
00:19:15.450 --> 00:19:23.210
The big ones, you know, the big ones.
490
00:19:23.250 --> 00:19:28.670
How often did you go to this gym, Josh? Not
491
00:19:28.710 --> 00:19:30.690
frequently enough to pick up the technical jargon, no?
492
00:19:35.200 --> 00:19:41.000
I couldn't pick up the jargon, let alone the weights, mate. Anyway,
493
00:19:41.380 --> 00:19:43.380
he's doing the big old weights.
494
00:19:43.990 --> 00:19:45.009
Doing the big old weights.
495
00:19:46.509 --> 00:19:49.470
Absolutely ripped in a vest. And we had that thing
496
00:19:49.509 --> 00:19:52.569
where we'd never... met but we you know i was
497
00:19:52.630 --> 00:19:54.730
aware of his work i i don't know whether he
498
00:19:54.750 --> 00:19:57.369
was aware of mine but we'd acknowledge each other at
499
00:19:57.450 --> 00:19:59.170
a base level should i say.
500
00:19:59.230 --> 00:20:01.630
Did it did you think about sort of trying to
501
00:20:01.650 --> 00:20:03.910
start up a conversation like oh you know hey hey
502
00:20:03.950 --> 00:20:05.759
man what are those what are those things you're lifting
503
00:20:05.779 --> 00:20:09.079
up and putting down repeatedly what are they called.
504
00:20:10.509 --> 00:20:13.470
Why are you moving that bench that I normally sit on?
505
00:20:14.529 --> 00:20:15.349
A narrow bench.
506
00:20:16.029 --> 00:20:17.869
Oh, so that's not for sandwiches then?
507
00:20:18.029 --> 00:20:22.210
Oh, I was doing the... I thought you just limboed.
508
00:20:22.779 --> 00:20:23.539
Was I limboing?
509
00:20:24.559 --> 00:20:25.380
But he's ripped.
510
00:20:25.400 --> 00:20:26.140
The bottom line of.
511
00:20:26.099 --> 00:20:27.680
The story is Andy Pease is ripped.
512
00:20:27.740 --> 00:20:28.720
He is ripped.
513
00:20:28.759 --> 00:20:30.519
We should get him to the podcast. Has he got kids?
514
00:20:30.700 --> 00:20:31.099
Who knows?
515
00:20:31.140 --> 00:20:31.640
Has he got kids?
516
00:20:31.720 --> 00:20:32.009
We'll ask.
517
00:20:32.019 --> 00:20:32.740
We'll try and get him on.
518
00:20:32.920 --> 00:20:34.920
I don't know. We'll get him on just to ask
519
00:20:34.940 --> 00:20:36.900
whether he'll take his top off. It'll be a strange interview.
520
00:20:37.269 --> 00:20:39.490
I would love to just randomly come up on a
521
00:20:39.509 --> 00:20:41.579
podcast where people just talk about how ripped I am.
522
00:20:41.609 --> 00:20:44.589
That would be so... Can you imagine if you just
523
00:20:44.630 --> 00:20:47.240
happen to be listening to a podcast and then you
524
00:20:47.279 --> 00:20:51.279
get mentioned as just, oh, he's fucking massive. He's so ripped.
525
00:20:51.380 --> 00:20:52.619
He is so rich.
526
00:20:53.859 --> 00:20:56.119
And then people go, oh, I heard someone talking about
527
00:20:56.160 --> 00:20:57.259
you on that podcast.
528
00:20:57.480 --> 00:20:59.599
It's never that, is it? It's never that.
529
00:20:59.619 --> 00:21:00.029
What did they say?
530
00:21:00.079 --> 00:21:01.880
What did they say? Oh, you're ripped.
531
00:21:01.920 --> 00:21:02.299
Yeah.
532
00:21:02.440 --> 00:21:03.039
Yeah, they were.
533
00:21:03.099 --> 00:21:03.980
Yeah, they were.
534
00:21:04.059 --> 00:21:04.279
Wow.
535
00:21:08.150 --> 00:21:09.750
Right, Romesh, you've got three kids.
536
00:21:10.190 --> 00:21:11.769
Three boys, three boys, sorry, yes.
537
00:21:11.849 --> 00:21:14.210
No, it's fine, it's fine. Are any of them fans
538
00:21:14.259 --> 00:21:14.900
of Andy Peters?
539
00:21:15.660 --> 00:21:19.140
No, they're not, no. They might be, I haven't asked them,
540
00:21:19.160 --> 00:21:19.759
I haven't asked them.
541
00:21:19.880 --> 00:21:21.480
What are they into?
542
00:21:21.920 --> 00:21:26.220
Well, what they are into, which has come to the
543
00:21:26.279 --> 00:21:31.069
fore during lockdown, is Fortnite, which is this battle royale
544
00:21:31.329 --> 00:21:35.049
online video game that we cannot stop them playing. And
545
00:21:35.529 --> 00:21:38.950
we went out for dinner with... this couple a few,
546
00:21:39.109 --> 00:21:43.730
maybe like two years ago. And they were talking about
547
00:21:43.779 --> 00:21:45.720
how one of their kids was addicted to Fortnite, right?
548
00:21:46.019 --> 00:21:47.720
And they were saying, oh, it's just a nightmare. He
549
00:21:47.859 --> 00:21:49.859
won't get off it. And we said to him, we
550
00:21:49.880 --> 00:21:51.680
want you to just stop playing Fortnite for a day
551
00:21:51.720 --> 00:21:54.480
or whatever. And he kicked off. And Lisa and I
552
00:21:54.519 --> 00:21:59.619
were so smug. Like, we sat there. We sat there going, oh, yeah, no,
553
00:21:59.640 --> 00:22:01.230
that's difficult, isn't it, when they get into that? And
554
00:22:01.289 --> 00:22:02.789
you know when you do that thing on the drive
555
00:22:02.849 --> 00:22:05.049
home where we're going, oh, isn't it? It's a shame,
556
00:22:05.089 --> 00:22:07.849
isn't it, when people allow that? Because I think what's
557
00:22:07.890 --> 00:22:09.910
good about us is we're very clear on the rules.
558
00:22:09.930 --> 00:22:14.250
And it sounds far too violent for our children to play,
559
00:22:14.289 --> 00:22:16.710
doesn't it? Yeah, no, I'm glad. I'm glad we've stuck
560
00:22:16.779 --> 00:22:19.619
firm with that. Cut to now. I've got kids talking
561
00:22:19.640 --> 00:22:22.160
about assault rifles for, like, nine hours a day in
562
00:22:22.180 --> 00:22:26.019
my house. the five-year-old talking about i'm gonna get that
563
00:22:26.059 --> 00:22:29.299
rocket launcher i mean it's it's insane and it crept
564
00:22:29.339 --> 00:22:33.420
into our lives because the our eldest son who's probably
565
00:22:33.500 --> 00:22:36.190
the most i mean you know not just i would
566
00:22:36.230 --> 00:22:37.930
i would say it's over and above the fact that
567
00:22:37.970 --> 00:22:40.069
he's that he's the eldest i think he's more sensible
568
00:22:40.089 --> 00:22:41.829
than the other two just generally he's kind of got
569
00:22:41.869 --> 00:22:44.869
that vibe about him and um he he came and
570
00:22:44.950 --> 00:22:46.650
spoke to us and he issued he did he did
571
00:22:46.670 --> 00:22:49.910
it properly you know He had support in arguments. Yeah,
572
00:22:49.930 --> 00:22:51.869
he did. He properly did. He said, can I have
573
00:22:51.890 --> 00:22:54.170
a chat with you guys about something? So we're like, yeah.
574
00:22:54.210 --> 00:22:58.630
And he talked us through how his friends play Fortnite.
575
00:22:58.650 --> 00:23:02.079
It's a social thing. He won't get too carried away
576
00:23:02.119 --> 00:23:03.819
with it. Would it be okay for him to be
577
00:23:03.839 --> 00:23:07.319
allowed to play Fortnite? And Lisa and I just wallowing
578
00:23:07.920 --> 00:23:13.339
in the pride in what our son had done. Just disgusting. God,
579
00:23:13.359 --> 00:23:15.660
we really, do you know, sometimes I kind of can't
580
00:23:15.680 --> 00:23:17.069
believe what a good job we've done with him.
581
00:23:21.079 --> 00:23:22.140
You sound like the government.
582
00:23:22.160 --> 00:23:24.470
You sound like the government when coronavirus was sneaking up.
583
00:23:24.480 --> 00:23:25.960
We're doing pretty well here, aren't we?
584
00:23:26.099 --> 00:23:30.960
Yeah. Honestly, it was so sickening how proud of ourselves
585
00:23:30.980 --> 00:23:32.440
we were. You know, for him to come and talk
586
00:23:32.480 --> 00:23:34.769
to us like that. Anyway, so we allowed him to
587
00:23:34.809 --> 00:23:36.509
do it. But the problem is, and this is the
588
00:23:36.609 --> 00:23:39.609
common thing that we keep coming up with, is the
589
00:23:39.809 --> 00:23:42.829
idea that you can allow one of your children to
590
00:23:42.890 --> 00:23:46.869
do something, regardless of age gap, and completely compartmentalize that
591
00:23:46.890 --> 00:23:49.839
from the others is a fantasy. It's an absolute fantasy.
592
00:23:50.160 --> 00:23:53.180
So as soon as he started playing it, our second
593
00:23:53.220 --> 00:23:56.410
son is like, can I, is it possible to play?
594
00:23:56.450 --> 00:23:59.829
Now he'd show, he provided no supporting arguments. If anything...
595
00:24:00.009 --> 00:24:02.670
his behaviour up to that point had been a series
596
00:24:02.710 --> 00:24:05.210
of counter-arguments to letting him anywhere near Fortnite, right? But
597
00:24:05.269 --> 00:24:07.329
regardless of that, we didn't want to be unfair, so
598
00:24:07.349 --> 00:24:09.730
we said, all right, let's... And we had all these
599
00:24:09.809 --> 00:24:12.509
bullshit rules as well. Can we just say that you're
600
00:24:12.529 --> 00:24:14.269
going to play for one and a half hours a
601
00:24:14.309 --> 00:24:20.019
day maximum and listen, and listen, when we say it's
602
00:24:20.079 --> 00:24:22.579
time to come off, you come off. There's no arguments.
603
00:24:22.619 --> 00:24:25.440
And they went, yeah, no, that sounds fair. That's absolutely
604
00:24:25.480 --> 00:24:28.440
the way we do it. And so, like, mugs, fucking mugs.
605
00:24:31.730 --> 00:24:34.789
And then once you've done two, how can you look
606
00:24:34.829 --> 00:24:38.970
at your youngest son and stop him from engaging it?
607
00:24:38.990 --> 00:24:40.890
So what's it on? Is it on Xbox?
608
00:24:41.230 --> 00:24:44.369
That's the problem, Josh. It's on everything. Mate, it is
609
00:24:44.450 --> 00:24:48.150
on everything. It's on PlayStation. It's on Xbox. It's on
610
00:24:48.250 --> 00:24:51.839
mobile phone. I'm pretty sure you can play it on
611
00:24:52.019 --> 00:24:55.480
a fucking water bottle if you want to. They have
612
00:24:55.619 --> 00:24:59.779
extended that game everywhere. There is no format that that
613
00:24:59.839 --> 00:25:02.660
game hasn't reached. It's insane, man. and when you look
614
00:25:02.720 --> 00:25:05.460
on youtube there's loads of videos there's loads of videos
615
00:25:05.500 --> 00:25:07.059
that's that i mean that's the other side of it
616
00:25:07.940 --> 00:25:11.779
is the youtubers that have been spawned by fortnight my
617
00:25:11.839 --> 00:25:17.160
children if they are not playing fortnight they are watching
618
00:25:17.220 --> 00:25:22.640
video youtube videos of people playing fortnight and attaching drama
619
00:25:23.079 --> 00:25:25.740
to a series of completely inconsequential events that are happening
620
00:25:25.759 --> 00:25:27.319
in front of them on the game i mean it is.
621
00:25:27.960 --> 00:25:29.829
So could you explain fortnight to.
622
00:25:29.720 --> 00:25:33.140
Me Yes, so what it is.
623
00:25:33.160 --> 00:25:34.539
Have you played, Rob?
624
00:25:36.400 --> 00:25:38.829
I find Fortnite quite hard, but I play the same
625
00:25:38.900 --> 00:25:41.609
style of game, but with Call of Duty Warzone, which
626
00:25:41.670 --> 00:25:46.690
is like a simulation of a warzone where Fortnite's sort
627
00:25:46.710 --> 00:25:49.819
of like colourful characters and mad stuff, isn't it?
628
00:25:49.849 --> 00:25:50.529
And then you have to build.
629
00:25:50.690 --> 00:25:53.089
Is it like Doom, like a modern version of Doom?
630
00:25:53.190 --> 00:25:58.990
Well, you basically... You drop down onto an island and...
631
00:25:59.769 --> 00:26:03.789
you find weapons and there are 99 other people on
632
00:26:03.809 --> 00:26:07.460
that island, you know, other characters, all these other players,
633
00:26:07.819 --> 00:26:09.619
and you have to be the last one standing. That's
634
00:26:09.640 --> 00:26:11.980
the aim of the game. But you can also do
635
00:26:12.039 --> 00:26:15.420
it as squads. So you can team up with a
636
00:26:15.460 --> 00:26:18.220
couple of mates and there's a social element to it.
637
00:26:18.700 --> 00:26:21.710
so and and and the thing that makes it more
638
00:26:21.789 --> 00:26:23.990
addictive because there's lots of games like that the thing
639
00:26:24.029 --> 00:26:26.009
that makes it more addictive is there's loads of these
640
00:26:26.069 --> 00:26:28.210
different skins you can play as you know they've got
641
00:26:28.250 --> 00:26:30.950
like you can play as spot uh deadpool you can
642
00:26:31.019 --> 00:26:33.799
play as aquaman like they and they put these skins
643
00:26:33.880 --> 00:26:37.019
on the shop and the the the shop has these
644
00:26:37.079 --> 00:26:40.779
skins for a limited amount of time oh so so.
645
00:26:40.539 --> 00:26:42.710
They've got you over a barrel mate how much are
646
00:26:42.730 --> 00:26:43.609
you spending.
647
00:26:43.920 --> 00:26:46.500
Mate, I don't even want to think about it. I mean,
648
00:26:46.660 --> 00:26:50.109
every day, every other day, I would say, that's not
649
00:26:50.180 --> 00:26:53.430
an exaggeration, one of the kids comes up to us
650
00:26:53.730 --> 00:26:55.589
and tells us about a new skin that's been released,
651
00:26:55.609 --> 00:26:57.930
it's available for only 24 hours, and they absolutely have
652
00:26:57.970 --> 00:27:02.490
to have it. And you end up paying 20 quid,
653
00:27:02.750 --> 00:27:04.849
and they go, look at the skin I've chosen, and
654
00:27:04.869 --> 00:27:07.509
they're playing as a hot dog. And I'm supposed to be.
655
00:27:12.059 --> 00:27:13.940
And I'm supposed to be happy about that.
656
00:27:15.759 --> 00:27:18.460
It is just a money pit, though, those sort of things.
657
00:27:18.710 --> 00:27:20.670
No, but the thing is, this is a crazy thing, right?
658
00:27:20.930 --> 00:27:22.960
So the kids are trying to legitimise it to me.
659
00:27:22.970 --> 00:27:24.410
They're trying to explain it to me that it's a
660
00:27:24.490 --> 00:27:27.170
serious thing. And they do do these events and stuff,
661
00:27:27.230 --> 00:27:30.880
and it is proper top-level stuff. If you get to
662
00:27:30.920 --> 00:27:33.319
the top level of Fortnite, right, you can play, like,
663
00:27:33.400 --> 00:27:39.599
proper tournaments, the top people... The prize money is $ 3 million, right?
664
00:27:39.660 --> 00:27:40.460
One of these tournaments.
665
00:27:40.660 --> 00:27:42.549
They're not playing us a fucking hot dog, mate.
666
00:27:43.400 --> 00:27:43.980
Absolutely not.
667
00:27:44.009 --> 00:27:47.670
Imagine trying to camouflage that. Where would you go? You're
668
00:27:47.730 --> 00:27:48.849
in the woods, there's a hot dog.
669
00:27:49.029 --> 00:27:52.069
That's $ 3 million. I spend the whole game behind the kiosk.
670
00:27:52.269 --> 00:27:53.609
It's the only place I can get any cover.
671
00:27:56.019 --> 00:27:59.940
I got home drunk once and turned on Sky Sports
672
00:28:00.420 --> 00:28:04.059
and they were broadcasting the FIFA World Cup, not the
673
00:28:04.099 --> 00:28:05.660
FIFA World Cup as in the FIFA World Cup, the
674
00:28:05.740 --> 00:28:11.950
World Cup of FIFA, the game. And these people are, A,
675
00:28:12.009 --> 00:28:15.269
they're weird, but B, they're existing in a different reality
676
00:28:15.309 --> 00:28:18.210
where the game, the way they were playing FIFA wasn't,
677
00:28:18.869 --> 00:28:22.680
I couldn't even comprehend how different their ability to play
678
00:28:22.700 --> 00:28:24.900
computer games was so i'm gonna say it wrong your
679
00:28:24.940 --> 00:28:25.930
kids aren't gonna.
680
00:28:25.910 --> 00:28:28.910
Get there no absolutely 100 not because and i hope
681
00:28:28.950 --> 00:28:31.430
they don't because if they if they do get to
682
00:28:31.470 --> 00:28:34.900
that top level that also suggests a severe level of
683
00:28:34.940 --> 00:28:38.529
dysfunctionality in sort of their general makeup i want them
684
00:28:38.609 --> 00:28:41.069
to be i want them to be too normal to
685
00:28:41.130 --> 00:28:43.279
ascend to the very heights of don't you just.
686
00:28:43.190 --> 00:28:45.480
Think it's a generational thing because when i was younger
687
00:28:45.500 --> 00:28:47.940
the thing we used to sit indoors on msm messenger
688
00:28:47.960 --> 00:28:51.680
do you remember msm messenger yeah where my parents would
689
00:28:51.700 --> 00:28:53.160
be like oh we didn't even have a phone in
690
00:28:53.180 --> 00:28:54.740
the house you have to go walk down the street
691
00:28:54.759 --> 00:28:56.700
to use a phone and all stuff like that so
692
00:28:56.720 --> 00:28:58.160
they think it's mad that you'd just be able to
693
00:28:58.220 --> 00:29:01.240
message someone or text and on MSN Messenger. But to
694
00:29:01.259 --> 00:29:05.769
be fair, the majority is socialising because you are in
695
00:29:05.809 --> 00:29:08.210
a squad with your three or four mates chatting to
696
00:29:08.230 --> 00:29:09.049
them and stuff like that.
697
00:29:09.089 --> 00:29:10.910
And it's, you know, no difference what we're doing now,
698
00:29:10.930 --> 00:29:11.750
but they're playing a game.
699
00:29:11.609 --> 00:29:14.210
At the same time. The issue is them just rinsing
700
00:29:14.250 --> 00:29:17.049
money out of you to get these different skins. But
701
00:29:17.170 --> 00:29:19.390
it is just a form of socialising that feels weird
702
00:29:19.430 --> 00:29:21.650
to us. But that's just the future, isn't it? Is
703
00:29:21.670 --> 00:29:22.410
that not just the future?
704
00:29:22.450 --> 00:29:24.079
Yeah, but do you know what, Rob? Do you know what?
705
00:29:24.259 --> 00:29:26.759
What you've just said sounds exactly like what Lisa and
706
00:29:26.799 --> 00:29:28.039
I say to each other late at night to try
707
00:29:28.059 --> 00:29:30.940
and make us feel better about what that means. We've
708
00:29:30.980 --> 00:29:34.549
let the situation get away from us massively.
709
00:29:35.029 --> 00:29:37.089
So it's not just they play it, they're doing whatever
710
00:29:37.109 --> 00:29:37.430
they want.
711
00:29:37.670 --> 00:29:39.960
Well, do you know what? It's the thing is that you...
712
00:29:40.299 --> 00:29:42.259
got to take into context the fact that we are
713
00:29:42.319 --> 00:29:44.259
in a weird situation they're not seeing any of their
714
00:29:44.299 --> 00:29:46.559
mates right and all that and so and so they
715
00:29:46.640 --> 00:29:48.869
do when they're playing this game they are chatting to
716
00:29:48.910 --> 00:29:50.809
each other and they are and they are in like
717
00:29:50.829 --> 00:29:53.089
you know it's their way of like going down the
718
00:29:53.130 --> 00:29:54.710
pub do you know what I mean they're chatting to
719
00:29:54.750 --> 00:29:56.730
each other and it is good you do see that.
720
00:29:56.710 --> 00:29:58.890
Sounds like a stag deal doesn't it exactly.
721
00:29:58.430 --> 00:30:03.569
Exactly But that's the other thing. It's not even just
722
00:30:03.589 --> 00:30:09.269
the characters. They have different dances called emotes, right? And
723
00:30:09.289 --> 00:30:12.710
you have to pay for those. So, like, honestly, honestly,
724
00:30:12.730 --> 00:30:16.480
I had to pay 10 quid, right, for one of
725
00:30:16.559 --> 00:30:19.759
my kids to have a character that just went, call me. That's...
726
00:30:22.109 --> 00:30:24.970
That's literally, and they're buzzing about it. Absolutely buzzing about it.
727
00:30:25.069 --> 00:30:25.710
It's mad, isn't it?
728
00:30:26.269 --> 00:30:29.480
Isn't your youngest five, though? It's quite impressive he can
729
00:30:29.519 --> 00:30:30.960
play Fortnite at five.
730
00:30:31.000 --> 00:30:34.680
Isn't it? Mate, mate, honestly, he's been playing on the mobile, right?
731
00:30:34.900 --> 00:30:38.519
He's been playing on the phone. The kid is fucking insane.
732
00:30:38.539 --> 00:30:38.700
Really?
733
00:30:38.900 --> 00:30:39.079
Right?
734
00:30:39.380 --> 00:30:42.779
Like, honestly, he is so good, right? And he'll be
735
00:30:42.819 --> 00:30:44.579
just chatting to you. I mean, you've seen him, Rob.
736
00:30:44.599 --> 00:30:46.809
He's like, you know, he's like a proper, he's small
737
00:30:46.829 --> 00:30:48.369
for a five-year-old as well. Do you know what I mean?
738
00:30:48.450 --> 00:30:49.390
He's a little diddy kid.
739
00:30:49.450 --> 00:30:50.970
And then he'll be like, yeah, yeah. And he's just
740
00:30:51.009 --> 00:30:53.269
like this. And honestly, he'll be talking to me while
741
00:30:53.289 --> 00:30:55.069
he's doing it. And I'm watching what he's doing on
742
00:30:55.089 --> 00:30:56.829
the phone. And he goes, dad, I'll come and get
743
00:30:56.869 --> 00:30:58.950
dinner in a minute. While he said that, he's killed
744
00:30:59.009 --> 00:31:02.910
three people. Like, it is insane.
745
00:31:03.190 --> 00:31:05.960
Why don't you, it's three million quids up for grabs,
746
00:31:06.339 --> 00:31:07.940
train them like the Williams sisters.
747
00:31:09.859 --> 00:31:11.940
The Richard Williams of Fortnite.
748
00:31:11.960 --> 00:31:15.039
Just get screens up and go, right, let's fuck off
749
00:31:15.079 --> 00:31:19.019
school this all day, right? And get better and we'll earn.
750
00:31:19.839 --> 00:31:22.019
If you said that to a 12-year-old kid, that's the dream.
751
00:31:22.059 --> 00:31:23.140
They'd be like, oh, I had the best dream ever
752
00:31:23.200 --> 00:31:25.339
last night. My dad had decked out the spare room,
753
00:31:25.700 --> 00:31:27.769
all the screens, and went, get as good as you can,
754
00:31:27.789 --> 00:31:28.930
we're going to earn millions.
755
00:31:29.490 --> 00:31:33.329
That's like the start of a film. Yeah, that's such
756
00:31:33.349 --> 00:31:35.930
an old-school Asian way of dealing with the situation.
757
00:31:35.990 --> 00:31:37.789
I've always been called that, actually, the way I play.
758
00:31:37.869 --> 00:31:40.960
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Rebecca, the old-school Asian with the teeth. Yeah,
759
00:31:40.980 --> 00:31:42.859
that's the guy. If you're going to play Fortnite, you're
760
00:31:42.880 --> 00:31:44.539
going to be the best fucking Fortnite player in the world.
761
00:31:44.559 --> 00:31:51.420
LAUGHTER amazing you know what the thing was is that
762
00:31:51.440 --> 00:31:53.759
so because we had been struggling to get him off
763
00:31:53.859 --> 00:31:56.240
it we decided to start lisa and i were like
764
00:31:56.700 --> 00:31:59.059
we've got to find a way of engaging with this
765
00:31:59.279 --> 00:32:02.049
so lisa and i are both now on fortnight so
766
00:32:02.390 --> 00:32:06.509
yeah yeah yeah just to talk to your kids no
767
00:32:06.589 --> 00:32:09.150
no well it's just because we was you know like
768
00:32:09.190 --> 00:32:12.519
when you're a vegan hot dog right Can I tell
769
00:32:12.559 --> 00:32:13.920
you something? I have got the hot dog.
770
00:32:14.059 --> 00:32:16.960
You've got the hot dog.
771
00:32:17.180 --> 00:32:19.200
Oh, you murderer. Meat is murder.
772
00:32:19.589 --> 00:32:21.750
I love the idea of Romesh doing a big TV
773
00:32:21.869 --> 00:32:23.930
job and treating himself to the hot dog as a
774
00:32:23.970 --> 00:32:24.549
kind of.
775
00:32:25.529 --> 00:32:27.710
I've made a bit of money. Yeah, just coming back
776
00:32:27.750 --> 00:32:29.690
from a League of Their Own record, just going, Lisa,
777
00:32:30.670 --> 00:32:34.359
get the console set up online. I'm about to treat myself.
778
00:32:34.380 --> 00:32:37.359
LAUGHTER You thought a hot dog was scary?
779
00:32:37.380 --> 00:32:39.819
Try a hot dog with fries, motherfucker.
780
00:32:41.960 --> 00:32:43.980
And not only that, it's going to be able to dance.
781
00:32:44.220 --> 00:32:44.960
How do you like that shit?
782
00:32:44.980 --> 00:32:45.440
Call me.
783
00:32:48.960 --> 00:32:50.680
So you play with them now as well, and Lisa?
784
00:32:51.220 --> 00:32:54.059
Well, we started because we thought actually it's quite a
785
00:32:54.079 --> 00:32:56.240
good thing. They're really into it. Let's try and engage
786
00:32:56.289 --> 00:32:59.119
them by playing it as well. Lisa's absolute shit, which
787
00:32:59.180 --> 00:33:02.759
is great for me. Because whenever we play these squad games,
788
00:33:02.799 --> 00:33:07.549
straight away, headshot, she's gone. But the thing is... Are
789
00:33:07.589 --> 00:33:08.910
you in a squad with your kids?
790
00:33:09.680 --> 00:33:11.779
Like a family outing, family day out.
791
00:33:11.920 --> 00:33:12.319
Yeah, yeah.
792
00:33:12.359 --> 00:33:14.799
So we're in a squad. Today we're going to kill
793
00:33:14.859 --> 00:33:17.299
as many people as we can. Brian, get Nathan's day
794
00:33:17.359 --> 00:33:20.890
of fun and stuff like that. I mean, like, but
795
00:33:20.930 --> 00:33:24.349
the thing is, the kids, they get really frustrated. If
796
00:33:24.369 --> 00:33:27.049
you watch kids playing Fortnite, they get so angry with
797
00:33:27.089 --> 00:33:29.869
each other if they let the team down, you know,
798
00:33:30.210 --> 00:33:32.150
if they fuck it up or whatever and they're going
799
00:33:32.170 --> 00:33:34.240
to lose as a result of their, they shout at
800
00:33:34.299 --> 00:33:36.599
each other, but they all accept it from each other. right?
801
00:33:36.640 --> 00:33:39.339
Because that's how you play the game. What I wasn't
802
00:33:39.359 --> 00:33:42.430
prepared for, right? Was the way that I was going
803
00:33:42.450 --> 00:33:45.569
to be spoken to by my own children when we're
804
00:33:45.589 --> 00:33:48.769
playing it, because we get into the game, right? Now,
805
00:33:48.809 --> 00:33:50.819
first of all, I don't really, I kind of stay
806
00:33:50.839 --> 00:33:53.029
away from the action. I'm very much Hyde. And then
807
00:33:53.069 --> 00:33:54.690
when enough people have died, come out and see if
808
00:33:54.710 --> 00:33:55.670
I can pick off a couple of.
809
00:33:55.670 --> 00:33:59.450
Why would you go on the attack? Doesn't everyone just
810
00:33:59.470 --> 00:33:59.970
kill each other?
811
00:34:01.589 --> 00:34:04.009
Josh, thank you so... I wish you could come round
812
00:34:04.029 --> 00:34:05.529
to my house and explain this to the children, because
813
00:34:06.170 --> 00:34:10.550
they say that's classic noob behaviour. Can I call you
814
00:34:10.659 --> 00:34:11.090
that now?
815
00:34:11.340 --> 00:34:12.260
Camping pussies.
816
00:34:12.280 --> 00:34:12.840
That's what you are.
817
00:34:13.260 --> 00:34:15.840
You're a pair of camping little rats. Oh, I'm going
818
00:34:15.860 --> 00:34:17.679
to hide here until they all die. Go out and
819
00:34:17.719 --> 00:34:20.500
bring it. Bring the victory to you, you fucking losers.
820
00:34:21.000 --> 00:34:24.400
Camping little rats. I'm on the kids' side here, Rob.
821
00:34:24.440 --> 00:34:27.590
Shall I play ball? That was like Rob had channeled
822
00:34:27.650 --> 00:34:33.550
our second son. No, but then, when I come out,
823
00:34:34.550 --> 00:34:36.719
the kids are like, Dad, Dad, you've got to resurrect me.
824
00:34:36.860 --> 00:34:39.280
Res me, res me. I'm over there. I'm over there. Dad,
825
00:34:39.460 --> 00:34:45.039
for God's sake, Dad. For God's, Dad. Dad. Oh, my God. Oh,
826
00:34:45.079 --> 00:34:45.840
my God.
827
00:34:45.860 --> 00:34:47.019
We could have won that.
828
00:34:47.480 --> 00:34:51.340
Just like that, just listening to the proper loser. And
829
00:34:51.360 --> 00:34:53.349
when the game finishes and it's like they never spoke
830
00:34:53.369 --> 00:34:55.530
like that to you because they're just in the moment.
831
00:34:55.550 --> 00:34:57.050
They're just in the moment.
832
00:34:57.070 --> 00:34:59.949
For them, in day-to-day life, you're in a position of confidence,
833
00:35:00.010 --> 00:35:03.429
of power, of authority, of intelligence. You've got more experience
834
00:35:03.469 --> 00:35:07.289
than them. But in the Fortnite world, you're like a one-year-old.
835
00:35:07.670 --> 00:35:08.210
You're rubbish.
836
00:35:08.469 --> 00:35:10.150
So it's such a weird power shift that all of
837
00:35:10.170 --> 00:35:12.409
a sudden you're the weak link in it all, not
838
00:35:12.449 --> 00:35:14.510
the person holding it together like you would in the
839
00:35:14.550 --> 00:35:14.949
real world.
840
00:35:15.230 --> 00:35:17.590
Yeah i mean they're like they're like my parents because
841
00:35:17.630 --> 00:35:20.389
they go they'll go like oh dad i left some
842
00:35:20.489 --> 00:35:22.619
i left some bandages over there by that house for
843
00:35:22.659 --> 00:35:23.940
you go and pick them up when you're ready and
844
00:35:23.980 --> 00:35:27.159
stuff like that like it's so it's so weird there's
845
00:35:27.219 --> 00:35:29.619
an armor plate yeah yeah exactly it's like that it's
846
00:35:29.639 --> 00:35:31.440
like that dad i left a rocket launcher there you
847
00:35:31.460 --> 00:35:33.039
can have it you can have the rocket.
848
00:35:32.820 --> 00:35:34.940
Launcher with the buying stuff though like if you take
849
00:35:34.960 --> 00:35:36.800
them on a day out though you can spend 40
850
00:35:36.800 --> 00:35:39.630
quid on drinks and snacks and ice creams over a
851
00:35:39.690 --> 00:35:41.630
day right and then they might not eat the ice
852
00:35:41.650 --> 00:35:43.730
cream the fry on the floor and because in our
853
00:35:43.789 --> 00:35:45.889
heads we understand that's an ice cream it's a product
854
00:35:45.909 --> 00:35:47.849
you're going to eat it or fill them up but
855
00:35:48.170 --> 00:35:50.090
if you buy them like a 10 quid skin or
856
00:35:50.130 --> 00:35:52.369
something that they're happy with for the whole day because
857
00:35:52.409 --> 00:35:55.070
it's on the computer you think oh that's nonsense doesn't
858
00:35:55.130 --> 00:35:57.710
exist but for the kids because that's how they've lived
859
00:35:57.809 --> 00:35:59.349
it does exist it is a thing that they can
860
00:35:59.389 --> 00:36:01.670
enjoy but because we're older we don't see it as
861
00:36:01.710 --> 00:36:02.789
a physical item.
862
00:36:02.889 --> 00:36:05.610
That's what happens with phones. You buy an app and
863
00:36:05.650 --> 00:36:08.059
it'll say it's £ 2. 99 and you're like, are you fucking
864
00:36:08.099 --> 00:36:11.780
kidding me? £ 2. 99 to read the news every day for
865
00:36:11.800 --> 00:36:12.239
a year?
866
00:36:12.260 --> 00:36:13.699
And you think I made her money?
867
00:36:14.340 --> 00:36:16.619
And then you buy a pint and it's £ 4. 50 and
868
00:36:16.639 --> 00:36:17.730
you don't think anything of it.
869
00:36:18.300 --> 00:36:21.869
It is incredible how, for some reason, spending money on
870
00:36:21.909 --> 00:36:25.829
an app, to me, absolute rip-off merchants. I'm just going to... Anyway,
871
00:36:25.929 --> 00:36:27.070
I'll pop on the phone. I'm just going to stick
872
00:36:27.090 --> 00:36:36.480
my Yeezys on. LAUGHTER The complete disparity in what you
873
00:36:36.500 --> 00:36:38.699
think is you being mugged off is just insane. But
874
00:36:38.719 --> 00:36:42.730
the other thing is, I just think, as parents, we
875
00:36:42.829 --> 00:36:46.130
have an inherent distrust for anything our kids enjoy too much.
876
00:36:46.530 --> 00:36:49.869
So it's like, you know, before even I knew that
877
00:36:50.369 --> 00:36:53.320
them playing video games, before I'd even got any idea
878
00:36:53.360 --> 00:36:55.179
if them being on an iPad was good or bad
879
00:36:55.219 --> 00:36:56.900
for them, immediately I'm thinking it must be bad for
880
00:36:56.920 --> 00:36:59.860
them because they're sort of enjoying it. They want to
881
00:36:59.900 --> 00:37:02.960
spend more time on it. It must be rotting their brains.
882
00:37:03.380 --> 00:37:05.769
You just have this thing where if your kids, as
883
00:37:05.789 --> 00:37:07.550
soon as they start to like a food too much, oh,
884
00:37:07.570 --> 00:37:09.590
that must be, there must be something in that. You
885
00:37:09.610 --> 00:37:12.869
can't have that much cucumber. Yeah, exactly.
886
00:37:12.929 --> 00:37:13.099
It's so.
887
00:37:14.010 --> 00:37:16.110
yeah it's so you do get like that you just
888
00:37:16.130 --> 00:37:18.409
start if they're into it there must be something bad
889
00:37:18.449 --> 00:37:18.880
about it.
890
00:37:19.000 --> 00:37:21.099
It's crazy that's the thing with the apps like you
891
00:37:21.119 --> 00:37:23.260
know you buy like you know a pair of nice
892
00:37:23.300 --> 00:37:26.300
trainers or whatever but you're like 69p so I can
893
00:37:26.320 --> 00:37:28.619
find out what the weather's like everywhere in the world
894
00:37:28.639 --> 00:37:32.900
are you mad ridiculous 69p I'd much.
895
00:37:32.780 --> 00:37:34.739
Rather download a free one that only works 30% of
896
00:37:34.760 --> 00:37:37.940
the time thank you very much and save myself the money.
897
00:37:37.860 --> 00:37:39.670
Yeah I'll just look out the window sorry if I'm
898
00:37:39.690 --> 00:37:41.170
old school laughing.
899
00:37:46.280 --> 00:37:47.739
So are your kids back at school, Ron?
900
00:37:48.079 --> 00:37:52.559
So our younger two are not. Our eldest one is
901
00:37:52.619 --> 00:37:55.460
in year six. So this is his last year at
902
00:37:55.539 --> 00:37:57.780
primary school before he goes off to secondary in September.
903
00:37:58.340 --> 00:38:01.079
So they have made a bit more of a... They've
904
00:38:01.119 --> 00:38:02.760
made a thing about bringing them back for the last
905
00:38:02.800 --> 00:38:04.480
couple of weeks. They haven't really done any work, I
906
00:38:04.480 --> 00:38:07.150
don't think. But it's a bit more for the... For
907
00:38:07.170 --> 00:38:10.300
the shirt signing and all that and the Leavers hoodies
908
00:38:10.320 --> 00:38:10.880
and all that crap.
909
00:38:10.900 --> 00:38:13.139
Can we talk about the secondary school he's going to, Rob?
910
00:38:13.280 --> 00:38:14.739
Which is quite interesting.
911
00:38:15.340 --> 00:38:17.659
Well, Rob, you say interesting. I know where you're going
912
00:38:17.679 --> 00:38:18.099
with this.
913
00:38:18.679 --> 00:38:19.719
Right.
914
00:38:19.800 --> 00:38:22.670
If you consider that Romesh is a success, right, and
915
00:38:22.690 --> 00:38:24.369
he's done really well for himself and his life's all
916
00:38:24.389 --> 00:38:24.849
going well.
917
00:38:25.110 --> 00:38:27.949
I'm willing to accept that for the argument.
918
00:38:28.030 --> 00:38:28.869
Yeah, go on.
919
00:38:28.889 --> 00:38:29.789
Playing devil's advocate.
920
00:38:31.489 --> 00:38:34.000
Thank you so much for swallowing that hypothesis, Josh.
921
00:38:35.150 --> 00:38:37.289
Romesh is a huge success, OK?
922
00:38:37.570 --> 00:38:40.500
Anyway, so Romesh, his son, is going to the secondary
923
00:38:40.519 --> 00:38:44.519
school that Romesh went to and taught at and.
924
00:38:44.480 --> 00:38:45.480
Met his wife at.
925
00:38:45.639 --> 00:38:46.179
Oh, wow.
926
00:38:46.239 --> 00:38:50.099
And it sounds like a tragic tale to a certain point.
927
00:38:50.139 --> 00:38:54.199
It is really tragic, because I think one of the reasons.
928
00:38:54.219 --> 00:38:57.050
For a man who's travelled so much and he's decided
929
00:38:57.130 --> 00:38:59.750
all these places I've seen, you know what? Crawly.
930
00:39:00.030 --> 00:39:03.710
Let's stay with it. Because if you take away... If
931
00:39:03.730 --> 00:39:05.989
you take away doing comedy or anything like that, if
932
00:39:06.050 --> 00:39:09.820
I bump into someone from school, they go, how's it going, Rom? Yeah, yeah, good.
933
00:39:10.760 --> 00:39:14.400
Where do you work? I worked where we went, actually.
934
00:39:15.139 --> 00:39:16.280
You know, we went to school. That's where we went.
935
00:39:16.300 --> 00:39:17.719
And where are you living now? Where are you living?
936
00:39:17.820 --> 00:39:19.820
I live about five minutes away from where I lived
937
00:39:19.840 --> 00:39:21.679
when we were growing up. I mean, if you sort
938
00:39:21.719 --> 00:39:22.909
of look at it in terms of like... What about
939
00:39:22.929 --> 00:39:23.269
your wife?
940
00:39:23.329 --> 00:39:24.010
Where'd you meet her?
941
00:39:24.110 --> 00:39:26.010
Yeah, I met her at the school last week.
942
00:39:26.369 --> 00:39:27.449
What about your kids?
943
00:39:27.469 --> 00:39:30.179
Where are they going? Oh, they're also going to the
944
00:39:30.320 --> 00:39:32.010
school last week.
945
00:39:32.820 --> 00:39:35.159
Because when there was kids at my school whose parents
946
00:39:35.179 --> 00:39:38.800
had been to our school, I think there's something weird
947
00:39:38.840 --> 00:39:39.900
going on there isn't.
948
00:39:39.840 --> 00:39:43.619
That institutionalized but at least you're not still teaching there
949
00:39:43.639 --> 00:39:45.780
because if you were that's when it you must.
950
00:39:45.579 --> 00:39:47.519
Have done a talk though rom you must have got
951
00:39:47.539 --> 00:39:48.559
been called back.
952
00:39:48.480 --> 00:39:50.760
In mate you know what it's so it was so
953
00:39:50.840 --> 00:39:55.019
bad so about maybe two years after i left i
954
00:39:55.059 --> 00:39:56.960
got a phone call from the deputy head saying oh
955
00:39:56.980 --> 00:39:59.320
they're doing this they're doing this young enterprise scheme do
956
00:39:59.340 --> 00:40:01.880
you know young enterprise it's where these the six formers,
957
00:40:01.920 --> 00:40:04.679
they organise these businesses and try and raise money or whatever.
958
00:40:04.719 --> 00:40:06.590
So one of these groups have decided they're going to
959
00:40:06.630 --> 00:40:09.449
put on a lunchtime event. And the lunchtime event, they
960
00:40:09.469 --> 00:40:11.389
had this idea that I was going to come back
961
00:40:11.909 --> 00:40:13.269
and do some stand-up comedy.
962
00:40:13.309 --> 00:40:15.489
Right, at this scale. They're going to resurrect you, yeah.
963
00:40:15.550 --> 00:40:19.159
Yeah, yeah. And so I agreed to do it. Bearing
964
00:40:19.199 --> 00:40:25.159
in mind, I was doing two tour dates in Wales, right?
965
00:40:26.159 --> 00:40:28.980
Either side of this lunchtime, right? Oh, God!
966
00:40:30.159 --> 00:40:32.139
He loves to travel this guy.
967
00:40:32.239 --> 00:40:33.880
You've got to learn to say.
968
00:40:33.639 --> 00:40:36.000
No honestly i don't i didn't want this to be
969
00:40:36.019 --> 00:40:37.860
the platform because i'm very grateful for you doing this
970
00:40:38.099 --> 00:40:39.610
ron but you've got to start saying no to stuff
971
00:40:39.619 --> 00:40:41.429
mate not this this is a good one but you
972
00:40:41.489 --> 00:40:44.230
cannot be doing two gigs in wales and pop home
973
00:40:44.550 --> 00:40:46.690
to die in your ass at a school in.
974
00:40:46.690 --> 00:40:48.690
Crawley okay first of all rob first thing let me
975
00:40:48.730 --> 00:40:50.670
just tell you I haven't got to the bit about
976
00:40:50.710 --> 00:40:52.789
whether I died on my arse or not. It's a given.
977
00:40:55.610 --> 00:40:58.289
You're tired, you're in your own school where you met
978
00:40:58.320 --> 00:41:00.699
your wife in, you went to school, you went back
979
00:41:00.739 --> 00:41:02.579
to teach and you're sending your own kid. It's a
980
00:41:02.619 --> 00:41:03.039
tough gig.
981
00:41:03.380 --> 00:41:07.599
What is so funny is it is surprising, not surprising actually,
982
00:41:07.719 --> 00:41:10.739
I think totally expected, how little of a shit a
983
00:41:10.780 --> 00:41:13.420
set of students give about an ex-maths teacher coming back
984
00:41:13.440 --> 00:41:14.500
to do some stand-up. I mean.
985
00:41:18.809 --> 00:41:22.650
Right? Absolutely could not have cared less. And what made
986
00:41:22.710 --> 00:41:26.150
it worse is that the members of staff who I
987
00:41:26.230 --> 00:41:28.050
used to work with just stood there at the back going,
988
00:41:28.070 --> 00:41:29.429
so this is what he's gone on to do, is it?
989
00:41:30.909 --> 00:41:34.300
And also, at this stage, were you out of success? Well,
990
00:41:34.340 --> 00:41:35.469
how many years ago was this?
991
00:41:35.530 --> 00:41:38.679
This was, like, pretty early on. So you hadn't.
992
00:41:38.500 --> 00:41:41.960
Really got to a wider level of success as well?
993
00:41:42.000 --> 00:41:45.139
No, no, I hadn't done any... Because the thing is,
994
00:41:45.159 --> 00:41:49.960
the truth is, People, outsiders, people outside of comedy or whatever,
995
00:41:50.239 --> 00:41:52.429
when you talk to people from when you started comedy,
996
00:41:52.449 --> 00:41:54.050
they only think that you're a success if you've done
997
00:41:54.090 --> 00:41:57.489
any telly. It doesn't matter how much you're making from
998
00:41:57.530 --> 00:41:59.769
the circuit or whatever you're doing. They just see, have
999
00:41:59.789 --> 00:42:01.170
you been on telly? Have you been on something I've
1000
00:42:01.190 --> 00:42:04.369
seen you on? So at that point, everybody, including my mum,
1001
00:42:04.510 --> 00:42:07.269
everybody thought I'd made a massive mistake. That's the truth
1002
00:42:07.329 --> 00:42:10.789
of it. And so me going back to the school... That's.
1003
00:42:10.630 --> 00:42:12.719
Why she came in to help you boost up, wasn't it,
1004
00:42:12.750 --> 00:42:13.409
by going on your show?
1005
00:42:13.429 --> 00:42:20.760
LAUGHTER This needs some actual natural comedy telling, of course. So, yeah,
1006
00:42:20.880 --> 00:42:23.539
it was a bad, bad visit, put it that way.
1007
00:42:23.960 --> 00:42:25.920
On the kid going back to the school that you
1008
00:42:25.960 --> 00:42:29.280
went to, is there going to be teachers that he's
1009
00:42:29.320 --> 00:42:32.179
been taught by, that you've been taught by, that you
1010
00:42:32.219 --> 00:42:35.960
were taught by, and you'll be like, yeah, he's an absolute...
1011
00:42:36.420 --> 00:42:38.260
You've got the inside track on the teachers.
1012
00:42:38.400 --> 00:42:41.139
Yeah, well, he is going to be taught by people
1013
00:42:41.159 --> 00:42:44.210
that I used to work with. There isn't anybody that
1014
00:42:44.250 --> 00:42:45.780
I used to be taught by, but there are people
1015
00:42:45.800 --> 00:42:47.820
that I used to work with. And it's difficult, isn't it?
1016
00:42:47.860 --> 00:42:53.400
Because I know what these people's genuine level of professionalism is. Obviously,
1017
00:42:53.500 --> 00:42:58.039
as a teacher, you present a front. You present as
1018
00:42:58.159 --> 00:43:02.090
if you are completely dedicated and infallible. But we all
1019
00:43:02.110 --> 00:43:05.409
know that's not the truth. So it's going to be difficult.
1020
00:43:05.590 --> 00:43:06.590
I used to have it when I was head of
1021
00:43:06.610 --> 00:43:08.989
sixth form because I'd have people, I'd have parents come
1022
00:43:09.010 --> 00:43:11.659
in and complain about certain teachers. And I think to myself, yeah,
1023
00:43:11.880 --> 00:43:14.599
I mean, she is shit. But you can't say that.
1024
00:43:14.659 --> 00:43:16.360
Yeah, you're right.
1025
00:43:18.590 --> 00:43:20.679
So you have to go, you know, no, she's a
1026
00:43:20.739 --> 00:43:23.480
very accomplished professional, actually, and I think it's slightly insulting
1027
00:43:23.500 --> 00:43:25.519
that you would insinuate that she does anything less than
1028
00:43:25.539 --> 00:43:27.199
the absolute peak of her powers to get you through
1029
00:43:27.219 --> 00:43:27.469
your exams.
1030
00:43:27.489 --> 00:43:29.750
And you saw her doing a line on Wednesday lunchtime
1031
00:43:29.789 --> 00:43:32.130
at the pub round the corner, crying about her divorce.
1032
00:43:32.650 --> 00:43:35.110
Well, yeah, well, I would discuss it with her when
1033
00:43:35.130 --> 00:43:36.639
I go meet her down the park to Bonazut.
1034
00:43:36.659 --> 00:43:43.039
LAUGHTER Rob, in terms of you, you know, saying yes
1035
00:43:43.079 --> 00:43:46.360
to work, with your youngest child, so this is five
1036
00:43:46.400 --> 00:43:47.079
years ago now.
1037
00:43:47.400 --> 00:43:48.019
Yeah.
1038
00:43:48.039 --> 00:43:49.889
But he was born in Edinburgh, right?
1039
00:43:50.090 --> 00:43:50.869
Yeah, yeah.
1040
00:43:51.170 --> 00:43:52.469
In the middle of the Edinburgh Festival.
1041
00:43:53.469 --> 00:43:59.130
Yeah, well, Lisa... Most annoyingly for Rob, he got nominated
1042
00:43:59.170 --> 00:44:02.650
as well, didn't he? LAUGHTER I'm not.
1043
00:44:02.570 --> 00:44:03.409
About awards, yeah?
1044
00:44:03.449 --> 00:44:04.550
I've got a stiff neck award.
1045
00:44:04.570 --> 00:44:07.929
LAUGHTER it was actually, we found out the due date
1046
00:44:07.949 --> 00:44:10.289
was in the middle of the festival. And at that point,
1047
00:44:10.309 --> 00:44:12.570
I mean, this sounds, there's no way of saying this
1048
00:44:12.590 --> 00:44:14.010
without making it sound like, but at that point the
1049
00:44:14.050 --> 00:44:17.429
show was written and we'd, we'd done the posters and everything. But, but,
1050
00:44:17.659 --> 00:44:20.280
but I was thinking, yeah, yeah. I mean, you know,
1051
00:44:20.300 --> 00:44:22.219
you're only going to lose money, even more money actually.
1052
00:44:22.260 --> 00:44:24.039
So I was sort of thinking about what to do.
1053
00:44:24.099 --> 00:44:26.280
And the truth is, and this is genuinely the truth.
1054
00:44:26.820 --> 00:44:28.840
I thought, I've got to pull out of Edinburgh here
1055
00:44:28.860 --> 00:44:31.619
because this is crazy. But then I spoke to Lisa.
1056
00:44:31.639 --> 00:44:34.530
Lisa used to live in Edinburgh. She said to me, look,
1057
00:44:34.570 --> 00:44:38.670
it's absolutely fine. We'll just come with you and I'll
1058
00:44:38.690 --> 00:44:41.360
have the baby in Edinburgh. And she said it very, very...
1059
00:44:41.920 --> 00:44:44.639
Matter of factly, right? So when I spoke to her,
1060
00:44:45.599 --> 00:44:51.500
I allowed myself to fall into the illusion that that
1061
00:44:51.539 --> 00:44:54.239
was actually quite a simple thing. I just went, oh, okay, cool, brilliant. Oh,
1062
00:44:54.260 --> 00:44:56.210
that's problem solved. It was only when I went and
1063
00:44:56.250 --> 00:44:59.429
told other people and they said to me, you know
1064
00:44:59.449 --> 00:45:01.070
you're an arsehole, don't you? I mean, you know, that's
1065
00:45:02.050 --> 00:45:05.329
a horrendous thing to make your wife do. You're bringing
1066
00:45:05.349 --> 00:45:09.440
your whole family because what? You've written 50, maybe 51
1067
00:45:09.440 --> 00:45:12.920
minutes of average stand-up that you... that you absolutely have
1068
00:45:12.940 --> 00:45:16.300
to deliver to Edinburgh every day. So, yeah, I genuinely...
1069
00:45:15.980 --> 00:45:19.010
I thought it was really nothing to worry about, but
1070
00:45:19.050 --> 00:45:21.210
it turns out it was quite a big deal. But
1071
00:45:21.250 --> 00:45:25.199
then what happened was this. So, at the hospital, we
1072
00:45:25.239 --> 00:45:27.909
told the hospital... I can't remember who we told, but
1073
00:45:27.929 --> 00:45:30.989
we told somebody, look, we're going back home. What do
1074
00:45:31.010 --> 00:45:32.579
you do about registering him and stuff like that? And
1075
00:45:32.599 --> 00:45:33.900
they said, you just do it when you get back.
1076
00:45:34.519 --> 00:45:36.780
So we're like, okay. So then we get back to
1077
00:45:36.860 --> 00:45:39.780
England and then we go to register him and they say, no,
1078
00:45:39.920 --> 00:45:41.699
you absolutely should have registered him where he was born.
1079
00:45:41.760 --> 00:45:46.269
I mean, you've made a massive mistake. So I was like, oh, okay.
1080
00:45:46.650 --> 00:45:49.769
And then they said, there's only a certain amount of
1081
00:45:49.789 --> 00:45:52.690
time that you can do that. I don't know what
1082
00:45:52.730 --> 00:46:01.130
happens afterwards. I've got some bad news.
1083
00:46:02.070 --> 00:46:03.690
I didn't register the birth in time, so we're going
1084
00:46:03.750 --> 00:46:04.610
to have to pop him back in.
1085
00:46:04.650 --> 00:46:07.389
Is that all right? I genuinely, I didn't know. Does
1086
00:46:07.409 --> 00:46:09.690
he have to live his life as a fugitive? I
1087
00:46:09.710 --> 00:46:11.349
don't know. I don't know what happens if you don't.
1088
00:46:11.590 --> 00:46:13.949
But anyway, there was a deadline, right? Which I didn't know.
1089
00:46:14.010 --> 00:46:16.610
I don't know how enforceable that deadline was. So anyway,
1090
00:46:16.630 --> 00:46:18.730
I had to go back to Edinburgh. Thankfully, I didn't
1091
00:46:18.750 --> 00:46:20.050
have to take him back. I had to go back
1092
00:46:20.090 --> 00:46:23.719
to Edinburgh. So I... I had to book an appointment
1093
00:46:23.739 --> 00:46:28.070
at Edinburgh Registry to register his birth. The only appointment
1094
00:46:28.119 --> 00:46:32.210
I could get was on the day of the Scottish referendum. Right?
1095
00:46:34.690 --> 00:46:38.070
So I had to... I flew to Edinburgh, walked up
1096
00:46:38.090 --> 00:46:41.440
to the registry office. There's fucking protests, like, just all
1097
00:46:41.460 --> 00:46:44.369
across the streets. And I'm navigating my way.
1098
00:46:44.380 --> 00:46:45.199
About the referendum?
1099
00:46:45.500 --> 00:46:45.719
Yeah.
1100
00:46:46.039 --> 00:46:46.900
Not about you.
1101
00:46:46.940 --> 00:46:49.639
Yeah, not about... We don't recognise your son as Scottish.
1102
00:46:52.710 --> 00:46:57.250
That was actually the second question on the voting slip
1103
00:46:57.869 --> 00:46:58.670
that day.
1104
00:46:58.730 --> 00:47:00.610
And then I went into the registry office and said,
1105
00:47:00.630 --> 00:47:01.949
where in Edinburgh do you live? And I said, I
1106
00:47:01.989 --> 00:47:03.969
don't live in Edinburgh, mate. I'm just a fucking idiot.
1107
00:47:04.489 --> 00:47:06.869
And I've come here for the day, on referendum day,
1108
00:47:06.929 --> 00:47:10.750
to register my son. Now, can you please register my
1109
00:47:10.809 --> 00:47:12.909
son's birth so that he doesn't have to live life
1110
00:47:12.969 --> 00:47:18.429
as a criminal? Charlie was born about three o'clock in
1111
00:47:18.449 --> 00:47:22.489
the morning or something. Okay, yeah. So then off the curb,
1112
00:47:22.530 --> 00:47:24.250
our agents were going, do you want to pull the show?
1113
00:47:24.269 --> 00:47:26.050
And I said, I'll probably be all right, actually. I'm
1114
00:47:26.090 --> 00:47:29.070
all right to do the show. So midway through the show, I.
1115
00:47:29.329 --> 00:47:30.489
How did that go down with Lisa?
1116
00:47:30.789 --> 00:47:31.570
She was totally fine with it.
1117
00:47:31.570 --> 00:47:32.369
Was she still in the hospital?
1118
00:47:32.690 --> 00:47:34.340
I wish I hadn't stuttered when I said that. She
1119
00:47:34.380 --> 00:47:37.960
was genuinely... Was she in the hospital? She was genuinely... No,
1120
00:47:38.000 --> 00:47:41.900
she came home like... Lisa's like... Lisa has not had
1121
00:47:41.960 --> 00:47:44.840
a birth last longer than an hour and a half
1122
00:47:45.119 --> 00:47:45.619
of the three.
1123
00:47:45.639 --> 00:47:48.420
She's... I mean, I'm still arguing it's still quite a
1124
00:47:48.420 --> 00:47:50.500
tough hour and a half. It may be shorter than normal,
1125
00:47:50.519 --> 00:47:52.179
but there's a lot going on in that 90 minutes.
1126
00:47:52.300 --> 00:47:53.780
Oh, listen, mate, as a spectator.
1127
00:47:53.860 --> 00:47:57.920
It's like Liverpool-North Castle 4-3, that 90 minutes. It's non-stop action.
1128
00:47:58.079 --> 00:47:59.179
Oh, my God, it's crazy.
1129
00:47:59.199 --> 00:48:01.159
But to be fair, in your defence, Lisa is one
1130
00:48:01.199 --> 00:48:03.980
of the calmest and just most matter-of-fact, just like, yeah, fine,
1131
00:48:04.119 --> 00:48:06.380
like water off a duck's back kind of people.
1132
00:48:06.760 --> 00:48:08.619
So she probably would have gone, yeah, go and do it,
1133
00:48:08.659 --> 00:48:09.079
it's fine.
1134
00:48:09.159 --> 00:48:11.590
Yeah, she did do that, but now.
1135
00:48:11.610 --> 00:48:16.369
So she's at home with a newborn baby... And a, what,
1136
00:48:16.389 --> 00:48:19.309
like a three-year-old and an eight-year-old or something?
1137
00:48:19.849 --> 00:48:20.750
And a five-year-old, yeah.
1138
00:48:20.769 --> 00:48:23.579
So five-year-old and a three-year-old at home and a newborn baby.
1139
00:48:24.300 --> 00:48:25.099
What time was your show?
1140
00:48:25.920 --> 00:48:29.199
Show was at eight o'clock. So it's enough time, arguably,
1141
00:48:29.219 --> 00:48:30.179
for her to get acclimatized.
1142
00:48:30.199 --> 00:48:32.800
So you took about 15 hours after giving birth. She's
1143
00:48:32.840 --> 00:48:36.039
back in an alien flat you've only rented for a
1144
00:48:36.079 --> 00:48:36.679
couple of weeks.
1145
00:48:36.920 --> 00:48:38.889
Yeah, but a nice flat. I didn't scrimp on that.
1146
00:48:39.219 --> 00:48:41.289
Is it ground level or is it up a few
1147
00:48:41.309 --> 00:48:41.949
flights of stairs?
1148
00:48:41.989 --> 00:48:43.590
I think it was third floor. Third floor, lovely.
1149
00:48:43.829 --> 00:48:44.210
Oh, wrong.
1150
00:48:44.289 --> 00:48:46.030
You've got her up three flights of stairs.
1151
00:48:46.469 --> 00:48:46.690
Yeah.
1152
00:48:46.789 --> 00:48:51.630
Chucked her into a flat with a 15-hour-old baby, a
1153
00:48:51.650 --> 00:48:53.309
three-year-old and a five-year-old. Is anyone else there?
1154
00:48:54.329 --> 00:48:56.909
Well, one of her friends was there. One of her
1155
00:48:56.929 --> 00:48:59.130
friends was there, and my brother and his wife were there.
1156
00:48:59.570 --> 00:49:00.969
Oh, OK.
1157
00:49:01.090 --> 00:49:02.050
So whose brother?
1158
00:49:02.150 --> 00:49:03.690
Your brother? My brother, yeah.
1159
00:49:03.710 --> 00:49:04.530
So the in-laws there.
1160
00:49:04.550 --> 00:49:04.789
Great.
1161
00:49:04.809 --> 00:49:05.250
That's brilliant.
1162
00:49:05.269 --> 00:49:08.480
That's really helpful, that. LAUGHTER I don't know about anyone
1163
00:49:08.659 --> 00:49:12.119
else's relationship. That would go down as a negative rather.
1164
00:49:12.039 --> 00:49:14.760
Than a positive. She doesn't really get on with my brother,
1165
00:49:14.780 --> 00:49:17.710
but I thought it'd be fine. No, I'm joking.
1166
00:49:17.750 --> 00:49:20.630
It was just in-laws, Tommy Robinson. just stuff like that.
1167
00:49:22.010 --> 00:49:24.690
Just helping. And then, so what was, how did you
1168
00:49:24.710 --> 00:49:25.949
do the gig? What happened in the gig?
1169
00:49:26.090 --> 00:49:28.840
Well, I did the gig. And at the end of
1170
00:49:28.860 --> 00:49:32.599
the gig, I just went, because I think in the show,
1171
00:49:32.659 --> 00:49:34.659
I talked about the fact that Lisa's pregnant and we're
1172
00:49:34.679 --> 00:49:36.079
about to have this baby. Then I said, and what
1173
00:49:36.099 --> 00:49:38.739
happened was, is actually, I can tell you that today,
1174
00:49:39.300 --> 00:49:41.530
we did have the baby, and they just thought it
1175
00:49:41.550 --> 00:49:43.889
was something I said every night. I mean, it was
1176
00:49:43.909 --> 00:49:44.349
such a.
1177
00:49:44.369 --> 00:49:45.690
You put on a fan innovation.
1178
00:49:45.710 --> 00:49:46.010
Yeah.
1179
00:49:46.030 --> 00:49:48.210
I really thought it was going to be a moment
1180
00:49:48.289 --> 00:49:51.090
in my naivety. And they're just like, what, does that
1181
00:49:51.150 --> 00:49:53.110
normally work, does it? Does that normally get some sort
1182
00:49:53.150 --> 00:49:53.690
of response?
1183
00:49:55.019 --> 00:49:57.260
They thought that you'd struggle to get an ending for
1184
00:49:57.300 --> 00:49:58.630
the show, so every.
1185
00:49:58.389 --> 00:50:02.150
Night you were claiming that you'd had the baby.
1186
00:50:02.170 --> 00:50:05.130
Funnily enough. Get someone to bring out a cake. We've got, like,
1187
00:50:05.190 --> 00:50:10.619
party poppers and streamers and shit. This is pathetic. Just
1188
00:50:10.679 --> 00:50:14.539
write a callback, you lazy bastard.
1189
00:50:14.960 --> 00:50:19.400
Oh, mate. I mean, we've barely covered... We've covered about
1190
00:50:19.440 --> 00:50:20.159
three topics.
1191
00:50:20.420 --> 00:50:20.909
Fortnite.
1192
00:50:21.699 --> 00:50:26.880
Andy Peters and the school. Four topics, but they were
1193
00:50:27.619 --> 00:50:30.320
a joy. Any more questions, Rob? Any final questions?
1194
00:50:30.539 --> 00:50:31.480
Not at the moment, really.
1195
00:50:31.500 --> 00:50:33.000
Is there anything you want to get off your chest, Romesh,
1196
00:50:33.059 --> 00:50:34.199
before we go about your kids?
1197
00:50:34.500 --> 00:50:36.420
Anything you want to lay down as a marker?
1198
00:50:36.800 --> 00:50:40.869
No, I mean, although what I would say is I
1199
00:50:40.949 --> 00:50:46.590
do think that... I think parents could have been a
1200
00:50:46.909 --> 00:50:52.480
bit more supportive of each other during this whole homeschooling scenario.
1201
00:50:52.539 --> 00:51:02.940
Because homeschooling has been, for everyone, challenging. and trying and
1202
00:51:03.179 --> 00:51:04.440
traumatic right.
1203
00:51:04.639 --> 00:51:06.460
And you say that's a former head of sixth form.
1204
00:51:06.280 --> 00:51:09.909
Yeah absolutely mate listen lisa and i both teachers right
1205
00:51:10.389 --> 00:51:14.030
it's difficult very very difficult and actually but parents are
1206
00:51:14.170 --> 00:51:17.570
so worried about doing the job properly that you can
1207
00:51:17.650 --> 00:51:20.710
feel these little competitive comments that they're making to each
1208
00:51:20.769 --> 00:51:21.969
other do you know i mean sort of just going
1209
00:51:21.989 --> 00:51:24.190
when you know we sort of do we kind of
1210
00:51:24.210 --> 00:51:26.010
do three to four hours a day because we feel,
1211
00:51:26.030 --> 00:51:27.519
you know, and that's as much as we can push them.
1212
00:51:27.539 --> 00:51:29.380
And you sort of think, you've said that kind of
1213
00:51:29.420 --> 00:51:31.199
to make me feel like shit about what we're doing
1214
00:51:31.239 --> 00:51:33.989
because you know that we're doing 11 and a half
1215
00:51:34.010 --> 00:51:36.250
hours of Fortnite if we're doing anything. All right, so...
1216
00:51:37.320 --> 00:51:39.019
And it's just that thing of like, we're all, you know,
1217
00:51:39.099 --> 00:51:40.539
all parents have been in this together. It's been a
1218
00:51:40.559 --> 00:51:43.800
very difficult thing. And I think, you know, I'd love
1219
00:51:43.820 --> 00:51:46.630
for all parents to just absolve themselves of any kind
1220
00:51:46.670 --> 00:51:49.190
of feelings of like not doing the right thing. It's
1221
00:51:49.210 --> 00:51:50.989
a really tough ask. Do you know what I mean?
1222
00:51:51.030 --> 00:51:54.150
How about going forward, rather than bothering with exams at GCSEs,
1223
00:51:54.170 --> 00:51:58.030
you just play Fortnite and whoever wins isn't allowed to
1224
00:51:58.050 --> 00:51:59.769
go to uni because they've obviously not been doing enough
1225
00:51:59.929 --> 00:52:03.409
studying and whoever gets shot immediately has been doing homeschooling.
1226
00:52:03.809 --> 00:52:04.880
So you can work it out that way.
1227
00:52:05.409 --> 00:52:07.210
Well, mate, listen, the way that these grades are going
1228
00:52:07.230 --> 00:52:09.650
to be awarded, just based on predicted grades, are you
1229
00:52:09.670 --> 00:52:11.530
telling me there's going to be no favouritism going on there?
1230
00:52:11.590 --> 00:52:12.050
Come on, mate.
1231
00:52:13.769 --> 00:52:15.690
Would you have done that, Rob, as a teacher? Let
1232
00:52:15.730 --> 00:52:18.690
me tell you something. If it was me, there's no
1233
00:52:18.710 --> 00:52:20.550
spurs of Chelsea fans getting an A in maths, are you?
1234
00:52:20.570 --> 00:52:23.570
But after the last weekend.
1235
00:52:25.630 --> 00:52:27.150
Thanks so much, Rob. It's just been great.
1236
00:52:27.210 --> 00:52:28.110
No worries, mate.
1237
00:52:28.190 --> 00:52:29.610
It's been an absolute pleasure.
1238
00:52:29.730 --> 00:52:31.530
Thank you very much. We'll speak to you another time,
1239
00:52:31.550 --> 00:52:31.969
I'm sure.
1240
00:52:34.489 --> 00:52:37.440
That is Romesh Ranganathan. Who do you think is going
1241
00:52:37.460 --> 00:52:40.159
to play him in Series 9 of The Crown?
1242
00:52:40.179 --> 00:52:44.420
Yeah, I mean, now he's... Do you know what, though?
1243
00:52:44.440 --> 00:52:46.039
I just think... I've known Romesh.
1244
00:52:46.059 --> 00:52:48.500
I started out with Romesh, you know, years and years
1245
00:52:48.820 --> 00:52:51.050
of doing gigs together, starting on the open mic circuit.
1246
00:52:51.070 --> 00:52:51.449
And I just.
1247
00:52:51.699 --> 00:52:53.570
I think he's talented and I think he just needs
1248
00:52:53.590 --> 00:52:56.239
a couple of breaks. And I'm happy to give him
1249
00:52:56.260 --> 00:52:58.960
a bit of exposure on air, you know, so people
1250
00:52:58.980 --> 00:53:00.639
can get to know who he is and maybe go
1251
00:53:00.659 --> 00:53:01.599
and see him do comedy.
1252
00:53:01.619 --> 00:53:02.639
You know what I mean?
1253
00:53:02.659 --> 00:53:03.110
Exactly.
1254
00:53:03.429 --> 00:53:05.489
I know it's a bit bad for, a bit nepotism,
1255
00:53:05.510 --> 00:53:07.449
but I just wanted to give a mate a chance.
1256
00:53:07.469 --> 00:53:08.949
So thanks for letting me have him on the show.
1257
00:53:09.110 --> 00:53:09.510
It's all right.
1258
00:53:09.530 --> 00:53:11.409
And hopefully he can crack on and in a few
1259
00:53:11.590 --> 00:53:14.010
years' time, when he gets an audience, people will be
1260
00:53:14.070 --> 00:53:16.739
able to go... oh that no mark that you know
1261
00:53:16.760 --> 00:53:18.360
that shit bloke who went funny and not on the
1262
00:53:18.400 --> 00:53:21.539
telly until we went on the parenting podcast he's great
1263
00:53:21.780 --> 00:53:23.380
i don't know why he didn't get more telly sooner
1264
00:53:23.440 --> 00:53:25.800
so yeah fingers crossed he'll get you know start off
1265
00:53:25.820 --> 00:53:28.909
with an appearance on stuff maybe you know yeah on
1266
00:53:28.929 --> 00:53:30.789
something you know and then go from there but yeah
1267
00:53:30.809 --> 00:53:31.389
good luck to him.
1268
00:53:31.469 --> 00:53:33.210
It feels it feels like a long time since he
1269
00:53:33.250 --> 00:53:35.210
wore a leather shirt on what the week doesn't it i.
1270
00:53:35.170 --> 00:53:38.329
Forgot about that.
1271
00:53:39.880 --> 00:53:42.099
Oh, yeah, but it's because when you start doing Mock
1272
00:53:42.119 --> 00:53:44.360
the Week, right, people don't realise this.
1273
00:53:44.659 --> 00:53:48.760
TV people are obsessed with what you wear, right? You
1274
00:53:48.840 --> 00:53:50.920
could have the best jokes ever, but if everyone's got.
1275
00:53:50.800 --> 00:53:53.360
A blue T-shirt on, they're, like, panicking, like, oh, my gosh,
1276
00:53:53.519 --> 00:53:54.599
they've all got blue T-shirts on.
1277
00:53:54.719 --> 00:53:56.960
We might as well burn our tellies. It's never going
1278
00:53:56.980 --> 00:53:59.179
to work. So they always want you to wear different colours.
1279
00:53:59.219 --> 00:54:02.059
And because most, you know, most comedians are sort of
1280
00:54:02.119 --> 00:54:04.440
like the sort of nerdy, awkward people at school, so
1281
00:54:04.460 --> 00:54:06.300
wear sort of dark clothes. So they'll encourage you to
1282
00:54:06.340 --> 00:54:08.929
wear bright things. I used to wear some awful stuff
1283
00:54:08.969 --> 00:54:11.070
on Mock the Week. Because I think deep down, I
1284
00:54:11.090 --> 00:54:12.349
thought maybe it'll keep.
1285
00:54:12.050 --> 00:54:12.590
Me get booked.
1286
00:54:13.030 --> 00:54:15.110
They'll book me if I wear a bright top. But yeah,
1287
00:54:15.130 --> 00:54:17.449
if you're a big fan of Ramesh, you can catch him.
1288
00:54:17.489 --> 00:54:19.800
He's got two books out. He's got five TV shows.
1289
00:54:20.179 --> 00:54:23.139
He's got a hip hop podcast. He's DJing on Kiss
1290
00:54:23.280 --> 00:54:26.260
FM at the moment. um but yeah and um yeah
1291
00:54:26.280 --> 00:54:28.320
he's got column in the guardian column in the guardian
1292
00:54:28.980 --> 00:54:35.630
uh what else is he he's had a sitcom out yeah.
1293
00:54:34.309 --> 00:54:37.130
He's constantly uh instagram living.
1294
00:54:36.710 --> 00:54:38.409
As well yeah if you go on instagram it's a
1295
00:54:38.429 --> 00:54:40.329
bit like you know you're only like three feet away
1296
00:54:40.369 --> 00:54:42.409
from a rat in central london you're only two clicks
1297
00:54:42.449 --> 00:54:46.420
away from a romesh instagram live feed so.
1298
00:54:46.199 --> 00:54:47.880
If you hang around and they're long enough you will
1299
00:54:47.920 --> 00:54:48.800
see him in the flesh.
1300
00:54:50.429 --> 00:54:51.989
Thank you to Romesh.
1301
00:54:52.010 --> 00:54:52.769
Yeah, thanks, Romesh.
1302
00:54:52.789 --> 00:54:53.769
Absolutely rinsed him.
1303
00:54:54.929 --> 00:54:56.840
He's done us a real favour.
1304
00:54:56.969 --> 00:54:59.659
He's got no response either. Oh, yeah, also in League
1305
00:54:59.679 --> 00:55:00.739
of Their Own as well, if you want to see it.
1306
00:55:00.739 --> 00:55:01.360
He does that as well.
1307
00:55:01.460 --> 00:55:02.079
Yeah.
1308
00:55:02.380 --> 00:55:03.480
Yeah, good luck to him.
1309
00:55:03.559 --> 00:55:04.099
Good luck to him.
1310
00:55:04.280 --> 00:55:05.079
Good luck to him.
1311
00:55:05.480 --> 00:55:07.519
So thank you, Romesh. And next week, Josh, we've got
1312
00:55:07.539 --> 00:55:11.260
an absolute banger of an episode. Jen Brister, very, very
1313
00:55:11.300 --> 00:55:11.719
funny comedian.
1314
00:55:11.739 --> 00:55:13.400
Who you might have seen supporting Romesh.
1315
00:55:13.619 --> 00:55:15.239
Yeah, she has been supporting Romesh. He tours.
1316
00:55:15.280 --> 00:55:17.820
He does live stand-up as well when he gets the chance.
1317
00:55:19.090 --> 00:55:20.550
But yeah, she's Romesh's tour sponsor.
1318
00:55:20.820 --> 00:55:23.599
Jen Bristow's absolutely brilliant. We've just recorded it, actually, and
1319
00:55:23.619 --> 00:55:25.480
it was genuinely one of my favourite ones we've done.
1320
00:55:25.519 --> 00:55:28.139
Yeah, Twin Boys. Look at that. Who's that come past
1321
00:55:28.159 --> 00:55:28.579
you there?
1322
00:55:28.619 --> 00:55:29.219
The T-Birds?
1323
00:55:31.219 --> 00:55:36.019
That was actually Romesh's taking part in a celebrity bike race.
1324
00:55:36.699 --> 00:55:38.800
Yeah, he's been working on ways to be on TV
1325
00:55:38.860 --> 00:55:42.460
in between TV gigs. They can film him driving to
1326
00:55:42.500 --> 00:55:45.880
and from. Anyway, Jen Bristow next week. It's a brilliant episode.
1327
00:55:45.960 --> 00:55:47.579
Two twins, age of five.
1328
00:55:47.960 --> 00:55:48.480
It's a banger.
1329
00:55:49.190 --> 00:55:51.320
Thank you so much for listening. We'll see you on
1330
00:55:51.380 --> 00:55:54.260
Friday when Rob will be telling you nine different ways
1331
00:55:54.320 --> 00:55:55.570
that he had his shit interrupted.
1332
00:55:55.849 --> 00:55:55.949
Bye!
1333
00:55:56.110 --> 00:55:56.289
Bye!