Now That's What I Call Parenting Hell - Volume 8

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Hello I'm Rob Beckett and I'm Josh Willicombe. Welcome to Parenting.
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Hell the show in which Josh and I discuss what
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it's really like to be a parent which I would
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say can be a little tricky.
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So to make ourselves and hopefully you feel better about
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the trials and tribulations of modern day parenting each week
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we'll be chatting to a famous parent about how they're.
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Coping or hopefully how they're not coping.
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And we'll also be hearing from you the listener with
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your tips advice and of course tales of parenting.
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Woe because let's be honest there are plenty of times
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where none of us know what we're doing.
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Hello, I'm Rob Beckett. And I'm Josh Whittacombe. And you're
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listening to Now That's What I Call Parenting How.
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Adam Buxton, welcome to the podcast. Before we start, have
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you done a podcast before? Do you need any pointers,
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explanation of how it all works or you good? Am
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I able to swear? Yeah, as much as you want.
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So how many kids you got? What's your kids set up?
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I'm pretty sure I've got three.
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Yep.
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I've got, there's a girl, there's definitely a girl. She's
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nice and she seems to like me. There's two boys.
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One of them's keener on me than the other one.
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They're teenagers. The oldest one has gone off to university.
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Oh, wow.
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Last year, studying music production. That was a big deal
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because we really thought that he was never, ever going
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to leave the house. And I don't think he wanted
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to leave the house. The middle one is quite different.
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He's 17 now. In the best possible way, he doesn't
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give a shit. I mean, that's a quality that is
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sometimes a source of anxiety and worry for the lad
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and also frustration when the lad doesn't do anything or
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want to do anything. or do what you say or
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what you suggest. But then other times I do think, actually,
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that's kind of a superpower. If you genuinely don't give
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a shit and you're not horrible, which he's not, he's like, he's,
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he's a nice guy and he's got one or two talents.
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He's quite musical. I think that that's a pretty good
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way to be. Cause I was the opposite. I gave
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a shit about everything.
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Yeah.
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And it was, you know, crippling.
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How does not giving a shit manifest itself? Give an
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example of him not kind of giving a shit.
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Well, he doesn't seem to be... I mean, I've got
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to be careful not to malign him unfairly, but he
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doesn't seem overly worried about... his academic progress at school
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or lack thereof yeah and the whole revising for exams
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thing nah he's not too worried about that he's got
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it down he's like it's fine it's fine i'm gonna
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do it at the end this is how i do
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it okay it's like he pretends that he's got a
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system He's like, no, you idiots, you don't understand. The
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system is I do it the night before. That's how
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I do it. And then we say, yeah, but you
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failed all of those exams. I know because I didn't
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do it that time. This time I'm going to do
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it the night before and it's going to be fine.
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I went to school in central London, right next to
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Westminster Abbey. And I remember wandering around in St. James's
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Park just before my A-levels with a bottle of whiskey
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in my pocket thinking, my life is over because I
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am not on top of these exams. And I don't
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know what's going to happen to me. And the school
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I went to, they drilled it into you that. You
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better pull your socks up, Buxton, because otherwise you can
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forget about the rest of your life. You know, if
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you don't get into this university or that university, that's it.
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You're done.
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I really believed it, you know, and it's such a bullshit.
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So your son doesn't care about that kind of stuff,
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but obviously you were kind of tormented by it. Do
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you find it difficult to let go of that yourself?
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Do you find yourself putting pressure on him with that?
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Or do you feel like you can step back and
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let it just unfold?
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Well, I'm definitely, you know, in the good cop, bad
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cop dynamic that my wife and I adopt, like many
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other parents, I'm definitely the cop that's saying, hey, it's fine,
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you're going to be fine, don't worry about it. Whereas
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she's much more on top of all their educational stuff.
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I really do think that too much pressure is put
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on children. And this idea that if you don't get
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the right exam results... it's all over. It's bullshit. I
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appreciate that. You know, we're very lucky in all sorts
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of ways. They've got a safety net, our children, and
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there's all kinds of ways that they're spoiled and we're
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going to be there for them. And not everyone is
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in that fortunate position. So the stakes are higher and
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the stakes are high for our children as well. You know,
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I want them to do as well as they can
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and to do some work and understand that you do
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actually have to try at things for things to happen
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you can't just expect everything to come to you yeah
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but at the same time it is not all over
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if you screw up your exams you know.
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Yeah Also, sometimes you don't have to try hard. Genuinely,
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with certain things, obviously you have to put effort in
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with things. But for me, like with certain stuff, if
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I try hard, I ruin it. So you do have
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to make sure you're putting all the effort in in
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the right places. But just by staring at a page
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for 12 hours doesn't mean it'll help.
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You know what I mean?
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Where sometimes I think people can be coerced into over-preparing
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and working too hard. And that stresses them out as well,
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where some people naturally are better if they're more rested
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and chilled and relaxed than being so crippled with the
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pressure of it.
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Yeah, exactly. And also, it sometimes seems as if all
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you're training them to do is play a certain system
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that actually doesn't equip them with all that many skills
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for what's really important in life. You know, they still
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don't teach all sorts of very basic things at school.
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I think they're beginning to do it a bit more.
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You know what I mean? Like relationships, how to open
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a bank account. how to do your washing, how to
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feed yourself properly. You know, there are more of those
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elements creeping into education now, I get the impression. And
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they're beginning to talk about like, oh, you know, treat
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people with respect and do all that sort of stuff.
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But still, there are yawning gaps there that are filled
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with just a load of stuff that you learn by
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rote that you're never going to use.
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Totally agree. Obviously, you went to a school... which was
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very proper and about results and all that kind of thing.
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Yeah, who the fuck goes to school in Westminster? Where's
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this gaff? I've never heard of it.
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You're not going to believe what it's called, Rob. I
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can tell you what it's called.
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You said it in the word.
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Westminster School.
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Yeah, this was an expensive private school that my parents
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got me into, that my dad was very excited to
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get me into. He kind of got a last minute deal.
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He got a cheap deal. You know, sometimes if you
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book hotels at the right time, you can get quite
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a nice room for a lot less. I think that's
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what he got with Westminster. And as a result, I
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started a term later.
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Oh, right.
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Did you have siblings as well, Adam?
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Yeah.
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I did, yes.
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I was the oldest of three. No, they didn't go there.
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The thing with my dad, which I wrote about in
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my book, was that he kind of overreached financially and he.
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Ran out of money. There's a lot of pressure on you.
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Yeah, I basically emptied the pot.
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Oh, fuck, that's a lot of pressure.
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It was a lot of pressure. I mean, my brother
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and sister did start to go to similar schools, but yeah,
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he had to take my brother out and he never
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really forgave himself for that. And there was a lot
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of pressure on me. That I didn't feel at the time.
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Oh, my God. No wonder you got a bottle of
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whiskey on the go in the park.
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Exactly.
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But then later on, I really did feel like me
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waggling toys on Channel 4 and doing poo and fart
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jokes is not what my dad was imagining when he
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spent all his money and ruined his marriage by sending
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me to an expensive school.
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But you got him on the show. Was that a
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nod to it? I get my dad on the TV
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show as a kind of slight payback.
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One hundred percent. Yeah, it definitely was. That was one
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of the big things I was thinking was like, here
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you go, dad. You see, it wasn't a total waste
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of money after all. And I used to love it
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when we did. This is I'm talking about a show
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called The Adam and Joe Show that me and Joe
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Cornish used to do on Channel 4. And my dad,
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who was then in his mid 70s, was drafted in
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to be our kind of youth correspondent. And we'd go
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off to festivals with him and he'd review records and
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hip hop and the Spice Girls and all sorts of stuff.
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You know, the joke was, ha ha, here's this posh
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old guy and he's totally out of touch with this stuff.
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But it was funny to hear him rant about it
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because he hated it all.
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Are you going to sue Jack Whitehall for stealing your
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idea or just leave it?
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Well, I don't think we invented the idea of getting
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your parents involved with fun shenanigans. The thing about Jack
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Whitehall is that he's always on screen with his dad.
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I never really was. We always just used to leave
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him to it, my dad. But I really did think,
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here we go, look, I've come good after all that
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money you wasted at the school. Here we are on
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TV because he liked being on TV, my dad.
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Well, he was a writer, wasn't he? A wine critic
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kind of thing. Is that right?
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Yeah, exactly. He was a travel writer. And he wrote
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about wine. Yeah, that was his big passion. And he
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loved walking.
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Well, travel and wine is all very sort of like
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about money and sort of like, you know, there's always
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a next level up. And I suppose he sort of
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translated that into schooling as well, where that school is
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probably one of the best in the country, I imagine.
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Yeah, he came from a big working class family in
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Sussex and his parents lived. help to run an estate
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for a wealthy family they basically had it drummed into
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them that they would do anything they could to be
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part of the establishment you know that they would move
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up the social ranks and so my dad always aspired
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to being part of what he saw as the right
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people in the right environment and go to Oxbridge and
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read the right books and plus he was a clever
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guy who worked really hard so it's not as if
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he didn't belong there do you know what I mean
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like it's not as if he didn't have what was
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required how does.
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That reflect then kind of upbringing that you've given your
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kids what do you take from that and then place
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onto them as a parent.
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I'm raising them to be working class laughing because that's
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what everyone aspires to now. Everyone hates posh people. So
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I'm bringing them up as EastEnders.
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Jelly deals for breakfast, stuff like that.
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Yeah.
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Swap Rosie for a whippet.
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That's right.
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Rosie's your dog, by the way, not your daughter, just
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to confirm to the listeners.
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Hello, Miley and Klaas. How are you?
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I liked that intro. That was great. Thank you.
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Been up all night writing it.
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It's not too gushing.
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Is it?
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No.
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Do you know what? I like 16.
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I think it's weird when you do a show and
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then they like, you're sat there while they intro you
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and they're reading out all your credits and stuff. It's
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just an awkward start.
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Do you know what? You're absolutely right, so thank you.
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Author, musician, member of hearsay, which we won't go into.
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You can go wherever you like. I have nothing to hide.
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Well, should we start with how many kids you got?
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That's the classic. What's your kids set up, Marlene?
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Okay, so I've got a 15-year-old.
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15?
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Yeah. I've got an 11-year-old.
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Okay.
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Boys or girls? Are they both girls?
250
00:11:20.750 --> 00:11:21.570
Both girls.
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Yep.
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00:11:22.649 --> 00:11:24.769
So Ava's 15, here is 11. And then I've got
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my baby boy who's three. His name's Apollo, but we
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call him Snoopy. He's just turned three.
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Amazing.
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00:11:31.049 --> 00:11:32.789
How comes the Apollo to Snoopy?
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00:11:33.080 --> 00:11:36.360
Well, when I was pregnant, I put a piece of
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paper up on the door because I wanted all the
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00:11:38.200 --> 00:11:40.200
kids just, you know, to really feel involved.
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Because my partner, he has two children too. So we're
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00:11:42.360 --> 00:11:43.899
a blended family of seven all in.
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Blimey.
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00:11:45.350 --> 00:11:45.730
I know.
264
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Honestly, it's chaos.
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00:11:48.690 --> 00:11:50.950
But I thought, let's let all the children feel really
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involved in this and write.
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00:11:52.269 --> 00:11:54.320
Down any name that you want to call the baby.
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00:11:54.820 --> 00:11:56.720
I don't know who the culprit was, but somebody wanted
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00:11:56.740 --> 00:11:58.360
to call him Snoop Dogg.
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And I was like, don't be so ridiculous. We're not
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going to have a baby called Snoop Dogg. And would
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you believe it? It's what stuck. So he's been given
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00:12:05.740 --> 00:12:09.740
this god of music and science, Apollo. We've given him
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that name and nobody uses it. Snoopy.
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Amazing.
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00:12:13.250 --> 00:12:14.950
I'm just calling him Snoop.
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00:12:15.429 --> 00:12:20.720
Snoopy, Snoopy. His teachers, his little nursery teachers. He calls
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himself Snoopy.
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00:12:21.710 --> 00:12:23.830
That's incredible. So do you think that'll stick when he
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goes to school?
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00:12:24.789 --> 00:12:26.090
I'm guessing so.
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It's the only answer to, and that's how he introduces himself.
283
00:12:29.909 --> 00:12:33.360
It's a little snoopy.
284
00:12:33.519 --> 00:12:35.419
So are all the kids in your house, are they
285
00:12:35.460 --> 00:12:38.860
split between other houses with different parents?
286
00:12:38.879 --> 00:12:43.139
So three are permanent residents, two come and go, and
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00:12:43.179 --> 00:12:45.299
then there's myself and my partner, and I'd like to
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00:12:45.340 --> 00:12:46.639
say we're permanent residents too.
289
00:12:46.759 --> 00:12:47.879
How old are the other two kids?
290
00:12:48.370 --> 00:12:50.730
Also 15 and 11.
291
00:12:50.740 --> 00:12:54.730
So how spoiled is Snoop getting, having all these sort
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00:12:54.750 --> 00:12:56.919
of older kids and parents around?
293
00:12:57.159 --> 00:12:59.029
Because he's got to be the little golden boy.
294
00:12:59.230 --> 00:13:02.409
If he ever learns to tie his shoelaces by 21,
295
00:13:02.389 --> 00:13:03.169
it will be a miracle.
296
00:13:03.190 --> 00:13:04.289
He went through.
297
00:13:06.490 --> 00:13:09.929
A phase of not even speaking.
298
00:13:09.970 --> 00:13:14.529
It was kind of just, hmm. We just, well, look,
299
00:13:14.570 --> 00:13:19.070
he's a rainbow baby. So we are. We're all obsessed
300
00:13:19.090 --> 00:13:19.440
with him.
301
00:13:19.470 --> 00:13:20.490
What's a rainbow baby?
302
00:13:20.769 --> 00:13:23.129
The rainbow baby is the baby that you get at
303
00:13:23.250 --> 00:13:26.289
the end of the rainbow after you've had miscarriages.
304
00:13:26.330 --> 00:13:27.629
And I had four miscarriages.
305
00:13:27.970 --> 00:13:32.090
So to get this baby, he was, you know, obviously
306
00:13:32.129 --> 00:13:34.950
all babies are very, very precious. But I was just
307
00:13:35.210 --> 00:13:38.570
willed over the finishing line. We were so worried to
308
00:13:38.769 --> 00:13:40.649
the last minute.
309
00:13:40.690 --> 00:13:41.590
I held him in my arms.
310
00:13:41.950 --> 00:13:43.909
I didn't even believe I was having him. I didn't
311
00:13:43.929 --> 00:13:45.320
dare to believe I was having it.
312
00:13:45.379 --> 00:13:48.480
Did you, was it, I mean, gone quite, quite heavy,
313
00:13:48.500 --> 00:13:50.179
quite early. Was it difficult to keep going with a
314
00:13:50.220 --> 00:13:52.059
set of points when you thought we're not going to
315
00:13:52.080 --> 00:13:52.440
do this?
316
00:13:52.759 --> 00:13:53.379
All the time.
317
00:13:53.480 --> 00:13:55.840
Cause I spent, I spent four, you know, have four
318
00:13:55.879 --> 00:14:03.279
miscarriages when you've had two, you know, seemingly very straightforward pregnancies.
319
00:14:04.279 --> 00:14:05.879
It just, it rattles you.
320
00:14:05.919 --> 00:14:09.330
I think anybody who's ever been through anything even, you know,
321
00:14:09.590 --> 00:14:11.830
remotely like that, you know, one is awful.
322
00:14:12.289 --> 00:14:14.950
Four, It's just looking into giving up.
323
00:14:15.129 --> 00:14:17.649
I mean, I can only imagine. We had one and
324
00:14:17.669 --> 00:14:21.279
that was horrific. And then the pregnancy after that, there's
325
00:14:21.320 --> 00:14:23.460
no joy in the pregnancy after that. Absolutely not.
326
00:14:23.820 --> 00:14:24.299
It's fear.
327
00:14:24.460 --> 00:14:26.080
It's like every time you go to the loo, you
328
00:14:26.100 --> 00:14:28.360
just think you're scared just to go to the loo.
329
00:14:29.100 --> 00:14:29.419
Yeah.
330
00:14:29.700 --> 00:14:31.610
You just don't know what you're going to find.
331
00:14:31.620 --> 00:14:35.720
And I think... You're just forever worried. If you feel
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00:14:35.779 --> 00:14:37.240
a movement, you're worried. If you don't feel a movement,
333
00:14:37.259 --> 00:14:39.360
you're worried. I don't know if you had to experience
334
00:14:39.639 --> 00:14:42.460
all the injections and the pessaries and the drugs that
335
00:14:42.539 --> 00:14:46.419
are required, but I was rattling around. Everything I could
336
00:14:46.659 --> 00:14:48.659
possibly take, I took it because I just didn't want
337
00:14:48.679 --> 00:14:49.879
to take any chances.
338
00:14:50.139 --> 00:14:50.610
But we got him.
339
00:14:50.620 --> 00:14:53.659
But you've got him. And he's called Snoopy, against your wishes.
340
00:14:53.679 --> 00:14:54.379
That's why he's.
341
00:14:54.220 --> 00:14:56.440
Now sort of, he just floats aloft.
342
00:14:56.179 --> 00:14:59.490
On this cloud.
343
00:14:59.539 --> 00:15:00.000
Yeah.
344
00:15:00.429 --> 00:15:03.730
I'm so, I am, I still, I don't think I
345
00:15:03.750 --> 00:15:05.549
will ever get over the fact that I have him.
346
00:15:05.570 --> 00:15:06.889
Yeah.
347
00:15:07.710 --> 00:15:09.570
He's here and I just, I'm just, I just, you know,
348
00:15:09.730 --> 00:15:12.309
sneak into his room at night and just stroke his
349
00:15:12.350 --> 00:15:13.429
head and smell his hair.
350
00:15:13.490 --> 00:15:15.429
That, you know, that baby smell that you're just trying
351
00:15:15.460 --> 00:15:16.240
to just still hang on.
352
00:15:17.019 --> 00:15:18.500
Are you done now, though? Would you go again?
353
00:15:18.750 --> 00:15:21.690
Or is it too much stress from what's happened before?
354
00:15:23.009 --> 00:15:25.129
You know what? On a serious note, I don't think
355
00:15:25.149 --> 00:15:26.929
I could do it again. I couldn't tempt fate like
356
00:15:26.970 --> 00:15:29.590
that again. I just don't think I could do it.
357
00:15:29.590 --> 00:15:30.570
I think I got my lot.
358
00:15:30.610 --> 00:15:31.149
I really did.
359
00:15:32.120 --> 00:15:34.889
And from a practical consideration, I don't think there's a
360
00:15:34.909 --> 00:15:38.809
tour bus big enough now. I had to get a
361
00:15:38.830 --> 00:15:43.330
bigger kitchen table, bigger dinner table to fit everyone around it.
362
00:15:43.350 --> 00:15:46.289
So just from a practical consideration, I just I don't
363
00:15:46.340 --> 00:15:47.000
know how we'd move.
364
00:15:47.059 --> 00:15:49.019
It's like the circus coming to town wherever we go.
365
00:15:49.100 --> 00:15:52.220
How do you genuinely what are the practicalities of going
366
00:15:52.259 --> 00:15:53.559
from A to B with five kids?
367
00:15:54.169 --> 00:15:56.070
You have to be so organised.
368
00:15:56.710 --> 00:15:59.769
And I always have a muster point, not joking, in
369
00:15:59.789 --> 00:16:01.700
case anyone gets lost along the way.
370
00:16:03.600 --> 00:16:05.419
So how big is your car? What are we looking at?
371
00:16:05.639 --> 00:16:06.019
Previa?
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00:16:06.220 --> 00:16:06.899
Full Galaxy?
373
00:16:06.980 --> 00:16:08.860
How many seats have you got?
374
00:16:09.019 --> 00:16:13.679
Sometimes we just have to go in a rotation. or
375
00:16:13.740 --> 00:16:19.639
drop someone at the tube or that's just weird. Yeah, well,
376
00:16:19.779 --> 00:16:21.639
we can't do the 80s anymore where you just throw
377
00:16:21.659 --> 00:16:22.340
someone in the boot.
378
00:16:22.460 --> 00:16:23.419
It just doesn't really work out.
379
00:16:24.500 --> 00:16:26.980
So we have to just really, you know, with the 15-year-olds,
380
00:16:27.039 --> 00:16:29.000
it's a little bit easier because they're a.
381
00:16:28.960 --> 00:16:29.879
Bit more independent.
382
00:16:29.940 --> 00:16:32.240
But it is, like I said, you have to have
383
00:16:32.279 --> 00:16:35.200
real practical considerations how to move everybody. It's like it
384
00:16:35.259 --> 00:16:37.320
is like kettling rather than raising.
385
00:16:38.559 --> 00:16:41.259
And how do you jump between like a three-year-old and
386
00:16:41.279 --> 00:16:42.330
then teenage girls?
387
00:16:43.059 --> 00:16:43.960
Oh, my goodness.
388
00:16:44.000 --> 00:16:49.830
If you figure it out, I'm all ears. It's a
389
00:16:49.899 --> 00:16:52.909
real challenge because I think people have this idea of
390
00:16:53.070 --> 00:16:55.210
you have teenagers and they're going to be this one
391
00:16:55.250 --> 00:16:56.830
way and you have toddlers and they're going to be
392
00:16:56.870 --> 00:16:57.529
this other way.
393
00:16:57.590 --> 00:17:01.139
Actually, you're just dealing with independent people. You don't know
394
00:17:01.159 --> 00:17:03.279
what these little people are going to want or what
395
00:17:03.299 --> 00:17:04.180
they're going to be like.
396
00:17:04.220 --> 00:17:06.630
And I just think the most important thing really is with,
397
00:17:06.670 --> 00:17:08.980
you know, so many little people with all these big
398
00:17:09.039 --> 00:17:12.660
feelings is that you just remind them that you're team children.
399
00:17:12.740 --> 00:17:13.119
That's it.
400
00:17:13.240 --> 00:17:16.319
Whatever they need, whatever support they want, you know, whatever
401
00:17:16.500 --> 00:17:20.220
it is that they need in their lives at whatever time,
402
00:17:20.460 --> 00:17:22.039
they just need to know that you're supporting them. And
403
00:17:22.059 --> 00:17:23.440
that's the best thing I can do because it's just,
404
00:17:23.460 --> 00:17:27.940
it's definitely, it's not one size fits all. And all
405
00:17:27.980 --> 00:17:32.549
my children are very, very different. Yeah, they're very different.
406
00:17:32.569 --> 00:17:35.150
We've got things obviously all in common. We all make
407
00:17:35.210 --> 00:17:39.670
music together. I've managed to pass on piano lessons that
408
00:17:39.690 --> 00:17:41.289
they all seem to love. And I love doing that
409
00:17:41.309 --> 00:17:43.460
with us together because I made my own band. But
410
00:17:43.500 --> 00:17:46.400
then my eldest, she's like some chemistry wizard.
411
00:17:46.559 --> 00:17:51.319
I've got no clue. I can't help her. Absolutely none whatsoever.
412
00:17:52.079 --> 00:17:55.180
My 11 year old she's like comedian slash wants to
413
00:17:55.240 --> 00:17:58.140
make clothes for the drag queens he's on her own
414
00:17:58.160 --> 00:18:07.109
trajectory and then obviously there's the emperor the golden child who.
415
00:18:07.390 --> 00:18:10.990
Welcome to the podcast brian connolly i'm very excited about
416
00:18:11.009 --> 00:18:12.730
this brian i'm.
417
00:18:12.730 --> 00:18:17.099
I've got moist i'm very excited uh And I would
418
00:18:17.140 --> 00:18:20.619
like to apologise for my visual thing that you'll see.
419
00:18:20.720 --> 00:18:21.940
You've got a line down the screen.
420
00:18:21.960 --> 00:18:24.319
Well, do you know what? You soon apologise. We just
421
00:18:24.359 --> 00:18:26.680
had some, the classic mute problems on Zoom.
422
00:18:26.720 --> 00:18:26.839
Yeah.
423
00:18:27.480 --> 00:18:30.779
And you're, when you were speaking, we couldn't hear you.
424
00:18:31.200 --> 00:18:33.259
And your, your face was so funny. I thought he's
425
00:18:33.299 --> 00:18:35.900
doing a bit. This is him doing like a kind of,
426
00:18:35.960 --> 00:18:38.500
I can't. I feel for comedy. Yeah.
427
00:18:38.640 --> 00:18:41.640
I've even got the comedy screen. Um, let me point
428
00:18:41.779 --> 00:18:46.480
out to the listeners, um, Yeah, when we were in lockdown,
429
00:18:46.660 --> 00:18:49.799
just before lockdown, we bought this computer, whopper-chopper. It does
430
00:18:49.839 --> 00:18:52.819
the old fingerprint. You haven't got to do anything. But
431
00:18:52.900 --> 00:18:53.779
we never realised.
432
00:18:54.619 --> 00:18:57.319
You've got a line down the middle.
433
00:18:57.339 --> 00:18:58.279
Oh, in the camera, yeah.
434
00:18:58.400 --> 00:18:59.259
I know.
435
00:18:59.579 --> 00:19:03.380
But I'm doing the one shot. And my next-door neighbour
436
00:19:03.400 --> 00:19:06.920
came round because they've got a good computer. And we
437
00:19:06.960 --> 00:19:09.079
couldn't get it on. So I'm in the middle there
438
00:19:09.460 --> 00:19:11.599
of this, you know, the great big sort of 20
439
00:19:11.599 --> 00:19:14.789
by 20 screen with this blimmin' thing. And you're right,
440
00:19:15.200 --> 00:19:16.509
I do. And people only, when I was walking down
441
00:19:16.529 --> 00:19:18.829
the street, they're going, yeah, all right, Brian.
442
00:19:18.910 --> 00:19:20.309
I should take a photo of it so we could
443
00:19:20.329 --> 00:19:24.130
put it online. That line down your head.
444
00:19:24.210 --> 00:19:26.529
Perfect. Well, you've made it here.
445
00:19:26.549 --> 00:19:29.009
So Brian, how many kids you got? Let's start off
446
00:19:29.029 --> 00:19:30.289
with that. Two kids.
447
00:19:30.430 --> 00:19:31.789
I have two girls.
448
00:19:31.970 --> 00:19:36.210
I've got Lucy and Amy. Lucy is, as you just saw,
449
00:19:36.269 --> 00:19:39.710
because of my age, she's helped me get on this podcast.
450
00:19:39.750 --> 00:19:42.059
In fact, I have to say, this is the very
451
00:19:42.059 --> 00:19:44.329
first podcast I've ever done.
452
00:19:43.990 --> 00:19:45.170
In my life. Really?
453
00:19:45.170 --> 00:19:45.750
Amazing.
454
00:19:45.750 --> 00:19:47.430
Here we go. I've done radio.
455
00:19:47.430 --> 00:19:49.950
What's the difference between radio?
456
00:19:49.950 --> 00:19:50.690
And podcast?
457
00:19:50.730 --> 00:19:51.430
Tell me that one.
458
00:19:51.990 --> 00:19:53.990
We don't have to play a song. We can just
459
00:19:54.029 --> 00:19:56.150
babble on for as long as we want. There's no
460
00:19:56.230 --> 00:19:57.059
time restraints.
461
00:19:57.339 --> 00:20:00.099
No bosses as well. There's no man telling us what
462
00:20:00.119 --> 00:20:00.460
to do.
463
00:20:00.480 --> 00:20:03.500
We can say things like bum and poo. Yeah, whatever
464
00:20:03.539 --> 00:20:06.059
you want. I'm going to say it now.
465
00:20:06.359 --> 00:20:06.740
Fuck.
466
00:20:06.980 --> 00:20:09.380
I've just said it, man. I've never ever said it.
467
00:20:09.400 --> 00:20:11.460
I fear there's people out there going, I can't believe it.
468
00:20:11.480 --> 00:20:12.920
It's going to get in the papers and everything.
469
00:20:13.079 --> 00:20:15.960
Did you work clean then, completely, basically, all your stuff?
470
00:20:16.019 --> 00:20:17.420
Yeah, yeah, yeah. You had to.
471
00:20:17.789 --> 00:20:21.769
When I was doing my show, I had a joke where,
472
00:20:21.990 --> 00:20:25.069
you know, I had to say, I wanted to say bum,
473
00:20:25.170 --> 00:20:27.630
and I was not allowed to say bum. And no one,
474
00:20:27.690 --> 00:20:30.470
and I can't believe it, you know, like now, everyone
475
00:20:30.519 --> 00:20:33.099
can say fart. You know, you can say fart in Panama.
476
00:20:33.519 --> 00:20:36.779
You were never, ever allowed to do that. But now
477
00:20:36.839 --> 00:20:39.089
it's very acceptable because I suppose the sort of rule
478
00:20:39.150 --> 00:20:42.170
is if you're, you know, a little kid going to school,
479
00:20:42.490 --> 00:20:44.619
you know, how would the teacher react? He'd go, what
480
00:20:44.640 --> 00:20:45.299
are you doing, Johnny?
481
00:20:45.339 --> 00:20:46.000
Well, I just farted.
482
00:20:46.670 --> 00:20:49.029
You know, so that was always the times of change.
483
00:20:49.269 --> 00:20:51.079
But you also did have a TV show where you
484
00:20:51.390 --> 00:20:53.900
pretended to play the violin with your cock out.
485
00:20:54.380 --> 00:20:57.859
Well, no, it's underlined that people worry that my penis
486
00:20:57.880 --> 00:20:59.400
had a nail on the end of it. No, it
487
00:20:59.460 --> 00:21:03.000
was my finger. I had the full song. I still
488
00:21:03.019 --> 00:21:05.680
do it in the main act. If I have to say,
489
00:21:05.700 --> 00:21:08.460
it's probably the best visual in the world.
490
00:21:08.500 --> 00:21:09.740
This is unbelievable.
491
00:21:09.980 --> 00:21:12.519
The song The Devil Went Down at Georgia. And when
492
00:21:12.599 --> 00:21:16.460
I hold the bow with my finger, they have that
493
00:21:16.640 --> 00:21:20.299
rock where the whole audience just go forward. The trouble
494
00:21:20.339 --> 00:21:25.400
is I can never follow it. And it always takes
495
00:21:25.440 --> 00:21:27.440
me ages to get the blimmin' thing on. So there's
496
00:21:27.480 --> 00:21:29.940
this hiatus where I'm sort of trying to get the
497
00:21:29.960 --> 00:21:32.630
thing on. Anyway, yeah, so what were we talking about?
498
00:21:32.670 --> 00:21:33.150
We're kids.
499
00:21:33.230 --> 00:21:33.789
Yeah, you're kids.
500
00:21:33.809 --> 00:21:35.450
Yeah, so we'll get the sort of gushing stuff out
501
00:21:35.470 --> 00:21:37.869
of the way, but I've always loved all your stuff.
502
00:21:37.890 --> 00:21:39.660
We should say we said on this podcast that Rob
503
00:21:40.180 --> 00:21:41.960
saw you and that's his kind of.
504
00:21:42.039 --> 00:21:42.759
In Butlins.
505
00:21:42.819 --> 00:21:44.799
In Butlins. How old have you been, Rob?
506
00:21:45.180 --> 00:21:46.500
I can't remember.
507
00:21:46.619 --> 00:21:48.779
You were doing a routine where you sort of had
508
00:21:48.839 --> 00:21:51.039
a pretend baby in a buggy and it was crying
509
00:21:51.079 --> 00:21:52.799
and then all the dangerous Brian stuff.
510
00:21:52.819 --> 00:21:54.880
I remember watching that on the telly, having the VHS.
511
00:21:55.309 --> 00:21:56.670
and things like that. And we all watched it as
512
00:21:56.710 --> 00:21:57.930
a family and absolutely loved it.
513
00:21:57.930 --> 00:22:01.150
And that's my ideal comedy is when you can watch
514
00:22:01.190 --> 00:22:03.619
it with your nan, your brother, your auntie, everyone, and
515
00:22:03.650 --> 00:22:04.460
everyone finds it funny.
516
00:22:04.480 --> 00:22:05.480
But yeah, he's an.
517
00:22:05.740 --> 00:22:08.940
Absolute hero of mine. So very excited to be doing this, Brian.
518
00:22:08.960 --> 00:22:12.089
The other reason, that night is the reason Rob Beckett
519
00:22:12.140 --> 00:22:12.690
is here now.
520
00:22:13.630 --> 00:22:15.789
I left the stage early that night because I thought
521
00:22:15.809 --> 00:22:17.529
there's a weird kid in the audience with a great
522
00:22:17.609 --> 00:22:19.509
big dog. He's lying at me.
523
00:22:19.849 --> 00:22:22.029
Stage manager said, you've only done 20 minutes. I said,
524
00:22:22.049 --> 00:22:24.970
that kid's shitting the life out of me. It's just
525
00:22:25.009 --> 00:22:25.829
teeth and hair.
526
00:22:25.890 --> 00:22:27.529
What is that in the middle?
527
00:22:27.809 --> 00:22:31.730
I remember that routine. I've still got, I never ever
528
00:22:31.779 --> 00:22:35.240
throw one prop away. I love props. I love visual comedy.
529
00:22:35.279 --> 00:22:37.599
I think visual comedy goes right across the board.
530
00:22:38.099 --> 00:22:38.859
Young, old.
531
00:22:39.980 --> 00:22:41.180
You still got that pram then?
532
00:22:41.720 --> 00:22:43.859
Still got it up in the locker. Because what happens
533
00:22:44.059 --> 00:22:46.539
was the baby used to come out. I had the
534
00:22:46.579 --> 00:22:48.819
baby made. It was the ugliest baby ever. I used
535
00:22:48.859 --> 00:22:50.619
to do a couple of baby jokes. Then I'd put
536
00:22:50.640 --> 00:22:52.480
it in there, and there was a very popular song like,
537
00:22:52.559 --> 00:22:55.640
we are the world, we are the children. And I
538
00:22:56.059 --> 00:22:57.769
used to put the baby in the pram. And then
539
00:22:57.809 --> 00:22:59.710
I had a little lever, and the baby used to
540
00:22:59.730 --> 00:23:01.450
play a little trumpet in the pram.
541
00:23:01.970 --> 00:23:03.990
He'd go, I love you there.
542
00:23:04.029 --> 00:23:06.210
Rocking it. I think once I had kids, I'd go,
543
00:23:06.250 --> 00:23:07.950
I don't want to relate to them at all. So
544
00:23:08.029 --> 00:23:10.829
I took out all my kid jokes, all my baby routines,
545
00:23:11.269 --> 00:23:12.769
When I get out of the house, I just want
546
00:23:12.789 --> 00:23:13.869
to forget those kids now. Really?
547
00:23:14.269 --> 00:23:16.390
At what point in your career did you have the kids?
548
00:23:17.059 --> 00:23:18.099
I was doing really well.
549
00:23:18.240 --> 00:23:19.960
And then it all went wrong.
550
00:23:21.839 --> 00:23:23.920
How old are they now, Brian?
551
00:23:23.940 --> 00:23:27.839
So we've got Lucy, who's 20, and Amy, who's 25.
552
00:23:27.839 --> 00:23:31.519
Lucy works as an events manager at a very popular
553
00:23:32.359 --> 00:23:35.559
cinema chain. And Lucy wants to be a comedian.
554
00:23:36.079 --> 00:23:36.569
Oh, wow.
555
00:23:36.789 --> 00:23:39.210
And she's a great singer. And she's done a little
556
00:23:39.230 --> 00:23:42.049
bit of work. She's done a bit of acting. And
557
00:23:42.829 --> 00:23:44.029
she's got a pantomime.
558
00:23:44.589 --> 00:23:45.430
Oh, wicked.
559
00:23:45.549 --> 00:23:48.390
Yeah, she's doing pantomime in Richmond.
560
00:23:48.690 --> 00:23:51.009
Their love of singing has always been there as well.
561
00:23:51.029 --> 00:23:54.210
But Lucy, just as that extra, really wanted to be
562
00:23:54.269 --> 00:23:55.410
in the biz.
563
00:23:56.019 --> 00:23:58.079
And did you have your children come and watch you
564
00:23:58.119 --> 00:23:59.039
from an early age then?
565
00:23:59.279 --> 00:24:01.500
Well, they both were. I got them in the show
566
00:24:02.599 --> 00:24:08.640
with pantomime. Amy is wonderfully talented, but she's never quite
567
00:24:08.680 --> 00:24:12.539
had that confidence to get out there. Lucy is slightly different.
568
00:24:12.579 --> 00:24:15.339
I think Amy takes after Anne-Marie, my wife, and Lucy
569
00:24:15.359 --> 00:24:19.099
takes after me. But Lucy desperately wanted to be part
570
00:24:19.119 --> 00:24:22.900
of it. So I had, you don't have it now,
571
00:24:22.940 --> 00:24:25.029
but they used to have little teams of the babes.
572
00:24:25.069 --> 00:24:27.809
So you'd have 10 little kids that would be part
573
00:24:27.849 --> 00:24:30.289
of it. And I got her to be one of
574
00:24:30.309 --> 00:24:33.190
the babes and she would learn the dance routines. But
575
00:24:33.269 --> 00:24:37.230
I always had another costume made because I've heard of
576
00:24:37.289 --> 00:24:40.059
people that, yes, they're 10 kids. They take one out.
577
00:24:40.460 --> 00:24:44.730
while the celeb's daughter or son could do it. And
578
00:24:44.769 --> 00:24:48.009
then that poor child that was left out, obviously, because
579
00:24:48.049 --> 00:24:50.589
they didn't have a costume, but I went, nope, I
580
00:24:50.650 --> 00:24:54.349
want an 11th costume. I want everything in 11s so
581
00:24:54.390 --> 00:24:56.380
that little Luce can dip in and out. And then
582
00:24:56.619 --> 00:24:58.960
right at the very end, when I spoke about the bear,
583
00:24:59.380 --> 00:25:02.559
the fairy would come out and we'd get Lucy, when
584
00:25:02.619 --> 00:25:06.480
she was tiny, and Amy would do this, say about Arden,
585
00:25:06.799 --> 00:25:09.099
like about three or four. And she would come out
586
00:25:09.140 --> 00:25:10.940
of the ferry with the bear and give it to
587
00:25:10.980 --> 00:25:13.430
the child who's a similar age. And then I would
588
00:25:13.470 --> 00:25:17.190
go to Lucy. I'd go, hello, what's your name? She'd go, Lucy.
589
00:25:17.250 --> 00:25:18.849
And I'd go, how old are you? She would go,
590
00:25:18.869 --> 00:25:21.819
I'm three and three quarters. And I'd go, have we
591
00:25:21.859 --> 00:25:23.799
ever met before? And she'd go, no, daddy.
592
00:25:23.819 --> 00:25:31.309
LAUGHTER Do you want to do the intro, Josh?
593
00:25:31.470 --> 00:25:32.890
So Rob always starts by saying, do you want to
594
00:25:32.910 --> 00:25:36.779
do the intro, Josh? And then the intro is literally, hello, Giovanna.
595
00:25:36.839 --> 00:25:37.539
It's not an intro.
596
00:25:40.490 --> 00:25:43.869
It's like queen of the castle slash jungle.
597
00:25:44.029 --> 00:25:44.309
Yeah.
598
00:25:44.529 --> 00:25:46.789
But what we do, we'll do all that beforehand. So
599
00:25:46.809 --> 00:25:48.670
you don't have to sit here and listen to us
600
00:25:48.930 --> 00:25:51.109
talking about your credits. Cause that's weird when you have
601
00:25:51.150 --> 00:25:51.630
to do that.
602
00:25:51.910 --> 00:25:52.309
It is.
603
00:25:52.529 --> 00:25:52.890
It is.
604
00:25:53.009 --> 00:25:54.150
It's an odd thing.
605
00:25:54.430 --> 00:25:54.670
Yeah.
606
00:25:55.029 --> 00:25:55.589
How are you?
607
00:25:55.650 --> 00:25:56.069
How are you?
608
00:25:56.269 --> 00:25:58.380
And can you let our listeners know how many children
609
00:25:58.390 --> 00:26:00.299
you got? What's your child set up at home?
610
00:26:00.490 --> 00:26:02.900
My child set up is that I have three children,
611
00:26:02.940 --> 00:26:05.559
three boys who are eight, six and four.
612
00:26:05.819 --> 00:26:06.759
Nicely spaced.
613
00:26:07.220 --> 00:26:07.940
Oh, Boys.
614
00:26:08.259 --> 00:26:08.539
Yes.
615
00:26:08.819 --> 00:26:09.380
Three boys.
616
00:26:09.400 --> 00:26:10.500
All boys.
617
00:26:10.519 --> 00:26:11.000
All boys.
618
00:26:11.279 --> 00:26:13.319
So we've just, well, Josh has got a boy. I've
619
00:26:13.359 --> 00:26:16.450
got two girls and Josh has got one girl. I
620
00:26:16.589 --> 00:26:18.450
find boys a nightmare.
621
00:26:18.529 --> 00:26:18.769
Do you?
622
00:26:18.829 --> 00:26:20.390
That's interesting. Rough.
623
00:26:20.490 --> 00:26:23.980
They're rough. rough and tumble i.
624
00:26:23.980 --> 00:26:26.240
Imagine if i had a little girl i would be
625
00:26:26.279 --> 00:26:29.059
like god those boys yeah they are i mean i
626
00:26:29.099 --> 00:26:31.400
always call them quite feral but really they are just
627
00:26:31.940 --> 00:26:35.079
they like rough and tumble they love being outside someone
628
00:26:35.119 --> 00:26:36.819
said to me once with boys you've got to treat
629
00:26:36.859 --> 00:26:39.279
them like they're dogs they need to be outside they
630
00:26:39.299 --> 00:26:41.180
need to be walked they need to be fed and
631
00:26:41.200 --> 00:26:42.700
they need to sleep and as long as those three
632
00:26:42.720 --> 00:26:46.049
things are happening life's good and at first i was
633
00:26:46.089 --> 00:26:48.789
like oh don't compare my child to a dog and
634
00:26:48.849 --> 00:26:52.430
then now i'm like no i get it i certainly
635
00:26:52.630 --> 00:26:56.740
respect what that man was saying and follow that formula
636
00:26:56.980 --> 00:26:59.059
and life is good so what would you.
637
00:26:59.000 --> 00:27:01.640
Do on a rainy day with three boys oh go
638
00:27:01.660 --> 00:27:02.579
outside anyway.
639
00:27:02.339 --> 00:27:05.089
Go outside get your wellies on hide make it an
640
00:27:05.119 --> 00:27:07.470
adventure yeah or just hide in this cupboard and then
641
00:27:07.529 --> 00:27:09.509
life is good You.
642
00:27:09.430 --> 00:27:11.990
Must be at the slightly easy street, as it were,
643
00:27:12.069 --> 00:27:14.369
now at this point, because they're not babies anymore.
644
00:27:14.390 --> 00:27:15.559
The youngest is four.
645
00:27:15.599 --> 00:27:18.420
So they're doing stuff for themselves, especially the youngest of
646
00:27:18.460 --> 00:27:20.440
three always is a bit more, you know, can do
647
00:27:20.500 --> 00:27:22.740
more stuff at four than the eldest would because they copy.
648
00:27:22.759 --> 00:27:25.480
Well, they've started doing this great thing at the weekends.
649
00:27:25.519 --> 00:27:28.589
They do Buddy's Breakfast Bar. So the middle one's called Buddy.
650
00:27:28.990 --> 00:27:32.170
And literally, we'll come down, there'll be toast, there'll be cereal.
651
00:27:32.190 --> 00:27:33.549
They've done it for his brothers.
652
00:27:33.750 --> 00:27:34.029
Oh, wow.
653
00:27:34.109 --> 00:27:37.710
And that, that is amazing. That was a total game changer.
654
00:27:37.910 --> 00:27:39.490
One of the mums at school said that she used
655
00:27:39.529 --> 00:27:42.380
to pre-do the cereal and just wrap it in cellophane,
656
00:27:42.400 --> 00:27:44.819
like she'd get the bowl out. That's a much cleaner
657
00:27:44.839 --> 00:27:48.019
way of doing it. But for us, we're like, just
658
00:27:48.059 --> 00:27:50.339
go and have fun. Just go and sort yourselves out
659
00:27:50.359 --> 00:27:51.900
in the best way that you can. And you know,
660
00:27:51.920 --> 00:27:53.740
you're going to come down, there's going to be Rice
661
00:27:53.759 --> 00:27:54.440
Krispies everywhere.
662
00:27:54.460 --> 00:27:54.549
Yeah.
663
00:27:54.900 --> 00:27:57.150
Few cornflakes on the floor there'll probably be a milk
664
00:27:57.190 --> 00:28:00.329
spillage but in my head i'm also they've got to
665
00:28:00.369 --> 00:28:03.250
be a little bit independent you know and and leaning
666
00:28:03.309 --> 00:28:06.049
into that if they're enjoying it then brilliant.
667
00:28:05.650 --> 00:28:07.619
That's great and they can always help clear up as
668
00:28:07.650 --> 00:28:08.980
well can't they you know i mean.
669
00:28:09.339 --> 00:28:13.279
Yeah that's the next step let's not run before we
670
00:28:13.299 --> 00:28:14.880
can walk rob come on.
671
00:28:17.220 --> 00:28:20.420
And so are you relaxed so you're upstairs still in
672
00:28:20.440 --> 00:28:23.589
bed while buddy's breakfast bar's going on What's your levels
673
00:28:23.609 --> 00:28:24.849
of relaxation there?
674
00:28:26.170 --> 00:28:28.920
It's fine. If there's no arguing going on, then I
675
00:28:29.039 --> 00:28:30.940
am asleep. It's absolutely fine.
676
00:28:31.380 --> 00:28:31.579
Yeah.
677
00:28:31.660 --> 00:28:34.380
And I know that, you know, the whole, if they're quiet,
678
00:28:34.440 --> 00:28:36.589
it means they're up to something. That is definitely true.
679
00:28:36.609 --> 00:28:36.970
Yeah.
680
00:28:37.089 --> 00:28:41.049
Absolutely true. However, they're also happy and they're not fighting
681
00:28:41.069 --> 00:28:44.509
each other because my kids have this inability to just
682
00:28:44.569 --> 00:28:46.890
walk past each other without an arm or a leg
683
00:28:46.930 --> 00:28:49.920
coming out to hit the other child. They just can't.
684
00:28:50.220 --> 00:28:53.480
It's constant physical contact with them. So if they are,
685
00:28:53.500 --> 00:28:55.180
you know, on a Saturday morning, if it is all
686
00:28:55.200 --> 00:28:57.480
nice and quiet and no one is yelping in pain
687
00:28:57.539 --> 00:29:01.569
or going, then I'm happy. I'm happy to just lie
688
00:29:01.589 --> 00:29:04.309
in bed. We try until eight o'clock at the weekend.
689
00:29:04.369 --> 00:29:04.910
Oh, that's good.
690
00:29:04.990 --> 00:29:07.750
I literally thought you were going to say 11. some
691
00:29:08.650 --> 00:29:14.829
people who are parents listening going eight o'clock that's what
692
00:29:14.890 --> 00:29:16.460
you dream of aiming for.
693
00:29:17.660 --> 00:29:20.880
Yes, because it used to be 5 o'clock. So, you know,
694
00:29:20.880 --> 00:29:23.759
8 o'clock is a massive step in the right direction.
695
00:29:23.839 --> 00:29:26.240
Don't get me wrong. I'm very jealous of your 8 o'clock.
696
00:29:26.920 --> 00:29:27.910
Don't get me wrong on that.
697
00:29:28.490 --> 00:29:30.309
But I think because you've got a one-year-old, you're still
698
00:29:30.390 --> 00:29:32.390
dreaming of the day where it's 11 or 12.
699
00:29:32.390 --> 00:29:33.609
But that never happens, I don't think.
700
00:29:33.849 --> 00:29:34.089
No.
701
00:29:34.349 --> 00:29:34.630
No.
702
00:29:34.890 --> 00:29:37.069
Well, and when it does, actually, it's them. And we'll
703
00:29:37.089 --> 00:29:38.049
be trying to get them out of bed.
704
00:29:38.190 --> 00:29:41.299
Yeah, when they're teenagers, Rob. I can't imagine your children
705
00:29:41.400 --> 00:29:42.240
ever sleeping in.
706
00:29:42.220 --> 00:29:44.369
Rob well I think the youngest is more likely to
707
00:29:44.430 --> 00:29:45.690
sleep in she's a bit more like me but the
708
00:29:45.769 --> 00:29:47.450
eldest is like Lou and like up like a button
709
00:29:47.529 --> 00:29:49.750
early doors let's do something in your face they just
710
00:29:49.769 --> 00:29:52.269
have so much energy I think that they fight a
711
00:29:52.269 --> 00:29:54.359
little bit, but with the boys I've seen, like, on
712
00:29:54.579 --> 00:29:56.700
holidays and school and stuff, they're just mad for it.
713
00:29:57.140 --> 00:29:59.059
You sort of assume, you know, like... Well, you were
714
00:29:59.099 --> 00:30:01.240
one of four boys, Rob. Were you fighting all the time?
715
00:30:01.309 --> 00:30:04.210
Yeah, well, my mum got put on a NSPCC watch
716
00:30:04.250 --> 00:30:06.430
list because we used to go to the hospital so.
717
00:30:06.329 --> 00:30:09.480
Much, like, bang deads. I mean, that's the thing.
718
00:30:09.500 --> 00:30:11.519
The amount of times we've gone on. The night I
719
00:30:11.539 --> 00:30:14.240
went into labour with Max, so I'd had a, I
720
00:30:14.279 --> 00:30:15.980
don't know if this is TMI for your podcast, but
721
00:30:16.460 --> 00:30:18.339
so I'd gone in for a sweep that day. So
722
00:30:18.359 --> 00:30:20.720
things were happening. And I was doing like a frantic
723
00:30:20.759 --> 00:30:22.609
last minute sweep, tidying up for the house. I knew
724
00:30:22.619 --> 00:30:25.529
the grandparents would come over. And the kids had literally,
725
00:30:25.710 --> 00:30:27.150
they were about to go up to bed. Tom was
726
00:30:27.269 --> 00:30:29.130
at the stairs and said, right, guys, let's go up.
727
00:30:29.509 --> 00:30:31.829
Buddy stood up on the sofa. One foot fell off
728
00:30:31.849 --> 00:30:35.769
the sofa. Smack bang straight into the coffee table. Split
729
00:30:35.809 --> 00:30:38.430
his head open. So we ended up going to hospital
730
00:30:38.450 --> 00:30:40.849
with him so that he could get his head sewn
731
00:30:40.890 --> 00:30:44.630
back together. And that is when my contraction started for.
732
00:30:44.539 --> 00:30:45.200
The third child.
733
00:30:45.380 --> 00:30:49.359
So they are accident prone, but that one was well ill-timed.
734
00:30:49.380 --> 00:30:53.009
That's the worst timing. Did you move from A &
735
00:30:52.519 --> 00:30:55.450
E to the maternity bit of the hospital?
736
00:30:56.000 --> 00:30:57.940
No, because it's there, I'm kind of a bit like, well,
737
00:30:57.980 --> 00:30:59.910
let's go home and see what happens. And also because
738
00:30:59.930 --> 00:31:02.390
I was so worried about Buddy, who, bless him, he
739
00:31:02.430 --> 00:31:05.329
was actually OK. Tough one, that one. So we went
740
00:31:05.369 --> 00:31:07.250
home and I tried lying down with him for a bit.
741
00:31:07.289 --> 00:31:09.609
And then by 10 o'clock, we phoned the grandparents on that, actually.
742
00:31:09.769 --> 00:31:11.839
You need to come over. So by 12 o'clock, we
743
00:31:12.200 --> 00:31:13.700
were on our way back to the hospital.
744
00:31:14.019 --> 00:31:16.420
That is a hell of a situation.
745
00:31:16.759 --> 00:31:18.740
But the amount of times we go to hospital for,
746
00:31:18.839 --> 00:31:23.759
you know, knees being split open, heads... It's just, you know, wrists, arms.
747
00:31:23.880 --> 00:31:26.319
Are you all right with that now? Are you a
748
00:31:26.359 --> 00:31:29.599
panicker when they... hit themselves are you like oh here
749
00:31:29.619 --> 00:31:31.460
we go another scar.
750
00:31:32.039 --> 00:31:33.789
Yeah it's a bit like that i am a little
751
00:31:33.809 --> 00:31:36.349
bit come on you're fine oh no you're not the
752
00:31:36.390 --> 00:31:40.769
bone is broken let's go to the hospital yeah you
753
00:31:40.809 --> 00:31:43.410
can't really panic i don't think and also it does
754
00:31:43.430 --> 00:31:46.559
depend which child it is because they all need different
755
00:31:46.599 --> 00:31:49.160
things yeah you know and so our eldest is a
756
00:31:49.220 --> 00:31:53.480
bit he's he's very emotional and panics so knowing for
757
00:31:53.519 --> 00:31:56.319
him i've just got to be super cool and super
758
00:31:56.359 --> 00:31:59.079
calm you know and just kind of and i don't
759
00:31:59.099 --> 00:32:01.059
do the whole kind of it's fine we'll just go
760
00:32:01.079 --> 00:32:03.579
and see the doctor you know all that raised kind
761
00:32:03.599 --> 00:32:06.809
of voice thing so yeah i try not to flap
762
00:32:06.910 --> 00:32:08.609
over it that much now and just kind of be
763
00:32:08.630 --> 00:32:10.309
a bit more pragmatic.
764
00:32:09.750 --> 00:32:12.150
With it if i can i'm a flapper it will
765
00:32:12.349 --> 00:32:13.329
no surprise.
766
00:32:16.109 --> 00:32:18.130
I need to thank you as well for winning me
767
00:32:18.170 --> 00:32:20.049
money in the jungle you know when he did the
768
00:32:20.089 --> 00:32:22.349
whale's jungle and i'm gonna say i'll put money on
769
00:32:22.390 --> 00:32:24.089
you early doors to win so i need to say
770
00:32:24.130 --> 00:32:25.349
thank you for that for.
771
00:32:25.269 --> 00:32:27.210
Me it was a dead sir oh thank you very
772
00:32:27.279 --> 00:32:28.349
much because i knew how nice.
773
00:32:28.279 --> 00:32:31.839
You were also huge following on your podcast and then
774
00:32:31.859 --> 00:32:34.240
boy band member husband that is the one and kids
775
00:32:34.299 --> 00:32:36.319
at home so they'll send you a letter and you'll
776
00:32:36.339 --> 00:32:38.539
get all upset i thought this is a guarantee we
777
00:32:38.599 --> 00:32:41.460
didn't get letters you didn't get letters we didn't get.
778
00:32:41.339 --> 00:32:45.410
Letters no that's Yeah, they gave us a sentence that was,
779
00:32:46.109 --> 00:32:48.390
I got mine on chocolate hobnobs, mind you, so I
780
00:32:48.410 --> 00:32:51.170
got two chocolate hobnobs and just a sentence of this
781
00:32:51.250 --> 00:32:53.849
massive letter that our loved ones did send, but they
782
00:32:53.890 --> 00:32:55.329
only included a line of it.
783
00:32:55.369 --> 00:32:56.130
Oh, brutal.
784
00:32:56.190 --> 00:32:59.250
Actually, I've never actually read the letter that Tom actually
785
00:32:59.309 --> 00:33:01.009
did write the entire thing. I've not read it.
786
00:33:01.109 --> 00:33:03.509
It's because the rest of it was really brutal. So
787
00:33:03.529 --> 00:33:05.019
they had to only give you a line of it.
788
00:33:05.109 --> 00:33:05.569
Yeah.
789
00:33:05.589 --> 00:33:07.230
You're doing this. You're doing that.
790
00:33:08.730 --> 00:33:10.160
We're having a great time without you.
791
00:33:10.180 --> 00:33:12.339
We're in A & E again. Just that, you know,
792
00:33:12.380 --> 00:33:13.779
we're all sewed up, ready to go.
793
00:33:16.079 --> 00:33:17.480
How was it, though? How long was you away from
794
00:33:17.500 --> 00:33:18.640
the kids on that show?
795
00:33:19.200 --> 00:33:21.980
Oh, a long time. So I was in isolation for
796
00:33:22.029 --> 00:33:25.450
two weeks before. Basically, I could start with the kids there,
797
00:33:25.809 --> 00:33:27.789
but once they'd left, they couldn't come back.
798
00:33:27.950 --> 00:33:28.230
Right.
799
00:33:28.470 --> 00:33:30.890
And it was one of those typical things where Tom
800
00:33:31.130 --> 00:33:32.869
could come with me for that first night, and then
801
00:33:32.890 --> 00:33:35.289
he had to come back to do... I think Little
802
00:33:35.329 --> 00:33:37.710
Mix had a programme on BBC, you know, that talent one.
803
00:33:38.079 --> 00:33:40.640
So he had to come back the following day. So
804
00:33:40.740 --> 00:33:42.759
I then had all three kids and my dad and
805
00:33:42.779 --> 00:33:45.880
my stepmum, and then... At the weekend, Tom came back
806
00:33:45.940 --> 00:33:47.640
but couldn't come in, so I couldn't have any contact
807
00:33:47.660 --> 00:33:50.720
with him. So two of the kids weren't with him then,
808
00:33:50.769 --> 00:33:52.329
the older two, because they had to go back to school.
809
00:33:52.789 --> 00:33:54.769
And again, once they'd gone to him, they couldn't come
810
00:33:54.809 --> 00:33:58.029
back to me because of COVID. And then the following weekend,
811
00:33:58.289 --> 00:34:00.190
Tom came to get Max. So I made sure that
812
00:34:00.250 --> 00:34:03.250
I did all of my proper goodbyes and stuff with him,
813
00:34:03.430 --> 00:34:06.000
who at the time was only one, before getting him
814
00:34:06.019 --> 00:34:08.420
in the car. And I remember being there, the door
815
00:34:08.460 --> 00:34:10.400
shutting on the car, and Max was.
816
00:34:10.340 --> 00:34:13.059
Being like, no, mummy, come. Oh, no.
817
00:34:13.260 --> 00:34:13.719
Oh, God.
818
00:34:14.590 --> 00:34:16.829
Absolutely distraught. But my friend sent me like this little
819
00:34:16.869 --> 00:34:19.380
care package. And one of the things in it was
820
00:34:19.389 --> 00:34:21.519
a Brussels sprout. You know, one of those in posse puzzles.
821
00:34:21.860 --> 00:34:22.179
Yeah.
822
00:34:22.219 --> 00:34:25.159
So I literally spent the next four days doing this
823
00:34:25.179 --> 00:34:27.599
in posse puzzle of like Brussels sprouts.
824
00:34:27.820 --> 00:34:29.500
And that really helped. The glamour of showbiz.
825
00:34:29.800 --> 00:34:33.760
The biggest show on telly you were doing, sat there
826
00:34:33.780 --> 00:34:38.679
doing a fucking Brussels sprout puzzle on your own. It's
827
00:34:38.719 --> 00:34:40.489
the dream gig, the big gig on telly.
828
00:34:40.510 --> 00:34:41.389
It was hard.
829
00:34:41.449 --> 00:34:44.349
Sat there. Yeah, I've made it.
830
00:34:44.530 --> 00:34:44.739
Have I?
831
00:34:44.809 --> 00:34:53.360
In a fucking cabin in Wales. Thanks for joining us, Jermaine.
832
00:34:53.719 --> 00:34:55.760
Can you let us know, how old are your kids?
833
00:34:55.860 --> 00:34:56.340
You've got two?
834
00:34:56.840 --> 00:34:58.130
No, I've got four.
835
00:34:58.329 --> 00:34:58.469
Four?
836
00:34:58.489 --> 00:35:01.349
Four kids, yeah. Four. I've got 14-year-olds.
837
00:35:01.369 --> 00:35:02.789
No wonder you're doing loads of telework.
838
00:35:04.429 --> 00:35:05.889
The one show, the morning show.
839
00:35:05.929 --> 00:35:08.639
I'm just doing what I can.
840
00:35:08.489 --> 00:35:10.099
Just to get out of the house, personally.
841
00:35:10.840 --> 00:35:12.900
I've got a 14 year old, I've got a nine
842
00:35:12.920 --> 00:35:17.519
year old, I've got a six year old and he's
843
00:35:17.559 --> 00:35:19.079
five months old now, the baby.
844
00:35:19.260 --> 00:35:20.500
So, yeah.
845
00:35:20.559 --> 00:35:23.400
Really nicely spaced out. Every four or five years you go,
846
00:35:23.420 --> 00:35:26.119
do you know what? Why not? Let's go again.
847
00:35:26.500 --> 00:35:28.440
Actually, I don't want to sleep anymore for a bit.
848
00:35:28.460 --> 00:35:29.119
She's five.
849
00:35:29.480 --> 00:35:30.340
I'll get in trouble for that.
850
00:35:30.360 --> 00:35:30.800
She's five.
851
00:35:30.820 --> 00:35:31.590
She's six this year.
852
00:35:31.659 --> 00:35:33.010
Yeah, the third girl.
853
00:35:33.030 --> 00:35:34.449
Three girls and a boy, but you're right.
854
00:35:34.510 --> 00:35:35.289
It is carnage.
855
00:35:35.309 --> 00:35:36.050
I'm not going to lie.
856
00:35:36.090 --> 00:35:37.650
Three girls and a boy. Blimey.
857
00:35:37.769 --> 00:35:39.489
How is it being back at five months?
858
00:35:41.179 --> 00:35:44.920
Scary, but also quite nice. In a weird way, out
859
00:35:44.980 --> 00:35:48.079
of all the kids that I've had, this is the
860
00:35:48.119 --> 00:35:51.840
baby that I was actually prepared for and ready for
861
00:35:52.119 --> 00:35:57.230
and probably mature enough to handle and understand everything. Whereas,
862
00:35:57.769 --> 00:36:00.750
you know, when I'm now 14-year-old, I mean, I was,
863
00:36:00.889 --> 00:36:04.010
you know, a 20-year-old lad playing Premier League football, playing
864
00:36:04.030 --> 00:36:06.909
for England, and you think you can just solve everything
865
00:36:06.929 --> 00:36:11.199
with money. You're not actually, you're nowhere near ready to
866
00:36:11.239 --> 00:36:14.039
be having a child. My 14-year-old with my ex.
867
00:36:14.760 --> 00:36:15.139
Yeah.
868
00:36:15.179 --> 00:36:15.500
So we.
869
00:36:15.659 --> 00:36:18.199
Do they still live in the States? Is that right?
870
00:36:18.449 --> 00:36:19.090
Yeah, yeah.
871
00:36:19.110 --> 00:36:20.030
So they live in America.
872
00:36:20.230 --> 00:36:22.469
Correct, yeah. So she lives in America now and she
873
00:36:22.510 --> 00:36:25.550
comes over during the summer periods and at Christmas and.
874
00:36:25.489 --> 00:36:26.289
Stuff like that.
875
00:36:26.690 --> 00:36:29.530
But, you know, those periods during my life, I was
876
00:36:29.570 --> 00:36:31.559
just like, well, I've.
877
00:36:31.780 --> 00:36:32.760
Got a kid, what do I do?
878
00:36:32.800 --> 00:36:35.619
But then most people my age would panic and I.
879
00:36:35.559 --> 00:36:36.599
Went, well.
880
00:36:37.199 --> 00:36:39.219
you know, at this particular point in my life, I've
881
00:36:39.239 --> 00:36:39.940
got plenty of money.
882
00:36:40.000 --> 00:36:43.610
I've got a house. All of the things you worry about. Yeah.
883
00:36:43.800 --> 00:36:46.949
I had naturally, but the one thing I didn't have
884
00:36:47.409 --> 00:36:51.550
was the kind of that maturity, that patience, that understanding.
885
00:36:51.610 --> 00:36:53.489
So I just kind of built things around me.
886
00:36:53.550 --> 00:36:55.630
Like I've got a mom to quit work.
887
00:36:56.030 --> 00:36:58.480
A sister came to live with me. My sister lived
888
00:36:58.500 --> 00:37:00.739
with me. I just had a house that's full of
889
00:37:00.820 --> 00:37:05.000
people just to help the scenario rather than being a parent,
890
00:37:05.039 --> 00:37:05.260
you know?
891
00:37:05.880 --> 00:37:08.000
That's interesting when did you kind of realize that that's
892
00:37:08.019 --> 00:37:10.019
what you've done not.
893
00:37:09.400 --> 00:37:13.889
Until i would say uh only about five six years
894
00:37:13.929 --> 00:37:16.409
ago you know when i don't know every now and
895
00:37:16.449 --> 00:37:18.070
again you have those periods in your life we just
896
00:37:18.110 --> 00:37:20.090
kind of take stock and i think lockdown for everybody
897
00:37:20.110 --> 00:37:22.050
was probably one of those moments where you just kind
898
00:37:22.090 --> 00:37:23.750
of like took stock of things that are going on
899
00:37:23.809 --> 00:37:25.969
and we were very fortunate during lockdown you know we
900
00:37:26.289 --> 00:37:28.110
um you know for me personally i got to kind
901
00:37:28.150 --> 00:37:30.130
of spend more time with the kids spend more time
902
00:37:30.170 --> 00:37:31.880
at home spend more time with the wife and stuff
903
00:37:31.929 --> 00:37:35.769
and um Yeah, I think through having conversations over a
904
00:37:35.789 --> 00:37:37.650
couple of nights, it was just like, I think she
905
00:37:37.670 --> 00:37:39.230
just asked me one time something like, what was it
906
00:37:39.269 --> 00:37:42.610
like having a baby at that age? Because she was
907
00:37:42.650 --> 00:37:46.590
young and she was scared. My now wife, when she
908
00:37:46.630 --> 00:37:50.480
first started having kids. And that didn't compute to me
909
00:37:50.599 --> 00:37:54.340
just how nervous she was going to be. But you
910
00:37:54.760 --> 00:37:57.139
think you're ready for these moments and then they actually
911
00:37:57.179 --> 00:37:58.079
arrive in your life.
912
00:37:58.659 --> 00:37:59.860
At 20, you're a baby. Yeah.
913
00:38:00.980 --> 00:38:02.900
You're still a baby yourself at 20, aren't you?
914
00:38:03.159 --> 00:38:04.900
Well, this is the thing. You just, I don't know.
915
00:38:04.940 --> 00:38:06.840
And also, I don't know what your experiences were like,
916
00:38:06.860 --> 00:38:09.150
but when you're in hospital and you have the kids
917
00:38:09.190 --> 00:38:11.989
and it's just, it is literally just like, There you go.
918
00:38:12.010 --> 00:38:12.719
Yeah.
919
00:38:12.760 --> 00:38:14.679
Deal with that. And you're like, I mean, I remember
920
00:38:14.699 --> 00:38:17.460
the first one just being like, what the hell do
921
00:38:17.500 --> 00:38:17.900
you do?
922
00:38:18.000 --> 00:38:19.219
Like, how do I feed it?
923
00:38:19.440 --> 00:38:21.380
When do I feed it? How much do I feed it?
924
00:38:21.880 --> 00:38:22.739
What am I supposed to do?
925
00:38:22.760 --> 00:38:24.889
I don't like buying, I mean, by the lad now,
926
00:38:24.949 --> 00:38:27.329
I'm just picking up buying his leg and swinging him around,
927
00:38:27.389 --> 00:38:28.389
putting his clothes.
928
00:38:28.150 --> 00:38:30.730
On, eat that, drink that.
929
00:38:30.750 --> 00:38:33.110
People are looking at me like, what's going on? Like,
930
00:38:33.130 --> 00:38:36.269
I'm like, like, It is sound.
931
00:38:36.309 --> 00:38:36.969
Don't worry about that.
932
00:38:38.230 --> 00:38:40.010
That must have been a really like mad point of
933
00:38:40.030 --> 00:38:41.829
your life because, you know, I remember at the time
934
00:38:41.849 --> 00:38:43.570
when you got signed, it was like for five million
935
00:38:43.590 --> 00:38:44.449
or something.
936
00:38:44.969 --> 00:38:46.139
And it was big news.
937
00:38:46.179 --> 00:38:48.420
Wasn't you one of the most expensive teenagers or something?
938
00:38:48.460 --> 00:38:50.199
Was that a record you held?
939
00:38:50.719 --> 00:38:53.119
Yeah, I think it was the third most expensive teenager
940
00:38:53.139 --> 00:38:55.460
in the world at that particular time. It was like
941
00:38:55.699 --> 00:39:00.289
R9 Brazilian Ronaldo went from PSV to Barcelona. Robbie Keane
942
00:39:00.409 --> 00:39:02.369
went from Coventry to Inter Milan for nine million.
943
00:39:02.409 --> 00:39:02.929
And then it was me.
944
00:39:03.769 --> 00:39:04.929
It was mad.
945
00:39:04.969 --> 00:39:06.349
Honestly, it was carnage.
946
00:39:06.369 --> 00:39:09.030
I mean, I remember arriving in Newcastle and it was like,
947
00:39:09.190 --> 00:39:11.980
press are following me all over the place. I've got
948
00:39:12.039 --> 00:39:15.219
into my hotel room and I just thought, right, a
949
00:39:15.400 --> 00:39:17.920
couple of minutes to myself. And I'd already done my
950
00:39:17.960 --> 00:39:20.460
press conference that day, but I just got back to
951
00:39:20.480 --> 00:39:23.010
my hotel room. I'm putting on kind of like what's
952
00:39:23.030 --> 00:39:24.849
going on on the telly. And it was just like me,
953
00:39:25.130 --> 00:39:26.869
Sky News, me on this, me on that. I was
954
00:39:26.909 --> 00:39:29.679
just like, this is, it was crazy. i'm like and
955
00:39:29.699 --> 00:39:31.619
when i got back to my room like nike for
956
00:39:31.639 --> 00:39:35.079
example sent me i mean the product was mental it
957
00:39:35.139 --> 00:39:37.280
was like it walked into my room it was from
958
00:39:37.420 --> 00:39:41.039
floor to ceiling of just like trainers tracksuit boots just
959
00:39:41.139 --> 00:39:43.679
everything you can imagine they just sent me it was
960
00:39:43.719 --> 00:39:46.309
just you know a dream at the time and i loved.
961
00:39:46.170 --> 00:39:48.420
It i was 18 years old You've got that at
962
00:39:48.440 --> 00:39:52.070
the moment with Blacks, the mountaineering shop, haven't you, Rob? Oh, yes.
963
00:39:54.269 --> 00:39:56.449
I moaned about a backpack from Blacks and they'd be
964
00:39:56.489 --> 00:39:58.710
ringing me up trying to, like, apologise.
965
00:39:59.429 --> 00:40:00.059
I'd talk about it.
966
00:40:00.210 --> 00:40:02.889
I actually felt really bad in the end. Basically, I
967
00:40:02.909 --> 00:40:05.280
bought a backpack and they ordered it online for me
968
00:40:05.360 --> 00:40:06.880
in the shop and then I have to go back
969
00:40:06.920 --> 00:40:08.500
to the shop to get a refund. And I was like,
970
00:40:08.519 --> 00:40:10.780
can't they just refund my card? I moaned about it.
971
00:40:10.840 --> 00:40:12.960
I've had five phone calls from all the different people
972
00:40:12.980 --> 00:40:15.019
from Blacks. They wanted to send me a backpack. I
973
00:40:15.039 --> 00:40:17.150
was like, no, I'll just explain the policy. And I
974
00:40:17.159 --> 00:40:19.409
just thought, how boring is my fucking life that I'm
975
00:40:19.429 --> 00:40:22.429
talking about a complaint with a mountaineering shop?
976
00:40:22.889 --> 00:40:26.139
That is quite funny because when you're talking about products
977
00:40:26.179 --> 00:40:28.880
and stuff like that, you just heard me briefly before
978
00:40:28.900 --> 00:40:30.900
we came on to talk on the pod about this
979
00:40:31.539 --> 00:40:33.920
baby chair that I'm trying to currently put up in
980
00:40:33.940 --> 00:40:35.739
the room. And that's why I was late getting to
981
00:40:35.760 --> 00:40:37.739
the pod. Basically, it's a stoke baby chair. It's a
982
00:40:37.739 --> 00:40:41.699
really stylish one that goes right next to the kitchen table. Apparently,
983
00:40:41.739 --> 00:40:44.920
your child can grow. As they grow, they grow with
984
00:40:44.980 --> 00:40:47.079
you and can have dinner with you and whatever, and
985
00:40:47.099 --> 00:40:48.079
they're part of the family.
986
00:40:48.099 --> 00:40:48.219
Right.
987
00:40:49.019 --> 00:40:51.960
And like, I'm sorry.
988
00:40:51.980 --> 00:40:54.539
There's such bollocks in it, all of that. Oh, we've
989
00:40:54.579 --> 00:40:55.519
got that one.
990
00:40:55.760 --> 00:40:56.610
I've just Googled it.
991
00:40:56.989 --> 00:40:57.630
Yeah, you've got it.
992
00:40:57.619 --> 00:40:58.329
And it's got like.
993
00:40:58.250 --> 00:40:59.780
5,000 attachments that you have to put to it.
994
00:41:03.579 --> 00:41:06.139
And it's funny because the first thing I do when
995
00:41:06.179 --> 00:41:07.840
I get all these things, I go on YouTube and
996
00:41:07.860 --> 00:41:10.099
I go, right, this is the easiest way because the
997
00:41:10.449 --> 00:41:12.550
instructions are always a pain in the ass. So I go, right,
998
00:41:12.610 --> 00:41:15.510
went on YouTube. And it was funny because you've got
999
00:41:15.570 --> 00:41:18.110
like a load of mums who come on who are like,
1000
00:41:18.550 --> 00:41:21.650
so I've got my new Stoke baby chair. This is
1001
00:41:21.670 --> 00:41:23.650
how I'm going to put it together. They're really like calm.
1002
00:41:23.670 --> 00:41:26.110
There's like a couple of dads that are on YouTube
1003
00:41:26.170 --> 00:41:28.469
and they'll go, the first line of one of them
1004
00:41:28.510 --> 00:41:31.130
was like, I just want to say sorry about the mess.
1005
00:41:31.530 --> 00:41:32.230
Ignore the mess.
1006
00:41:33.050 --> 00:41:35.849
It's difficult for a dad doing this on his own.
1007
00:41:35.909 --> 00:41:37.250
He was really stressed out.
1008
00:41:37.489 --> 00:41:40.820
Yeah, I'm not going to watch this video, mate.
1009
00:41:40.880 --> 00:41:41.139
Sorry.
1010
00:41:41.199 --> 00:41:42.969
I'm going to go back to the car.
1011
00:41:42.989 --> 00:41:46.139
Whenever I put the YouTube videos on, part of me
1012
00:41:46.159 --> 00:41:49.920
is going, this absolute loser doing the YouTube video. what
1013
00:41:49.940 --> 00:41:51.980
a fucking loser. And the other part of me is going,
1014
00:41:52.300 --> 00:41:56.510
this person is my only hope. This person is all
1015
00:41:56.590 --> 00:42:02.590
I've got in the world. They literally are though. That's
1016
00:42:02.670 --> 00:42:04.280
it for this special best of episode.
1017
00:42:07.730 --> 00:42:08.429
I'm Scott Bennett.
1018
00:42:08.510 --> 00:42:09.469
And I'm Gemma Bennett.
1019
00:42:09.610 --> 00:42:12.219
And together we are Brew with the Bennetts.
1020
00:42:12.260 --> 00:42:12.579
Yeah.
1021
00:42:12.619 --> 00:42:13.659
Say it together.
1022
00:42:13.780 --> 00:42:15.000
Brew with the Bennetts.
1023
00:42:15.139 --> 00:42:16.539
Every Sunday, a bit of chat.
1024
00:42:16.719 --> 00:42:18.159
A bit of humour.
1025
00:42:18.219 --> 00:42:18.659
Humour.
1026
00:42:18.880 --> 00:42:19.760
Together. Tea.
1027
00:42:20.179 --> 00:42:20.500
Tea.
1028
00:42:20.559 --> 00:42:20.940
Cuppa.
1029
00:42:21.079 --> 00:42:21.420
Coffee.
1030
00:42:21.440 --> 00:42:22.599
Brew and chat.
1031
00:42:22.699 --> 00:42:23.019
Yes.
1032
00:42:23.460 --> 00:42:23.940
It's good.
1033
00:42:24.119 --> 00:42:28.440
Join us there. You've got round shoulders. And a side
1034
00:42:28.500 --> 00:42:30.010
profile of Gerard Depardieu.
1035
00:42:31.280 --> 00:42:34.039
She only serves us Tetley tea bags, which in itself
1036
00:42:34.119 --> 00:42:34.809
was a bit of a.
1037
00:42:34.800 --> 00:42:41.530
A bit of a... A bit of a letdown.
1038
00:42:41.659 --> 00:42:43.730
I knew it was Yorkshire.
1039
00:42:43.750 --> 00:42:46.469
I've just noticed you always go, before you say so.
1040
00:42:46.489 --> 00:42:49.389
What do you mean?
1041
00:42:49.409 --> 00:42:51.610
It's like I'm building up.
1042
00:42:51.710 --> 00:42:53.130
I just want to talk about.
1043
00:42:53.150 --> 00:43:01.219
Just listen, do it again. No wonder I have anxiety.
1044
00:43:01.400 --> 00:43:02.510
Oh, my God.
1045
00:43:03.079 --> 00:43:05.219
Hello, my name's Joe Wilkinson, and I do a podcast
1046
00:43:05.239 --> 00:43:05.920
with David Earl.
1047
00:43:05.960 --> 00:43:06.780
It's called Chattabix.
1048
00:43:06.960 --> 00:43:10.000
Chattabix is a podcast magazine and chat show, isn't it?
1049
00:43:10.039 --> 00:43:10.179
Yeah.
1050
00:43:10.219 --> 00:43:12.360
We're on three times a week. We have loads of guests,
1051
00:43:12.380 --> 00:43:13.639
special guests, surprise guests.
1052
00:43:13.659 --> 00:43:14.840
Can I read some of the highlights?
1053
00:43:14.880 --> 00:43:15.099
Yeah.
1054
00:43:15.199 --> 00:43:16.860
Interviewing a Red Arrow pilot.
1055
00:43:16.909 --> 00:43:18.280
Visiting a haunted house.
1056
00:43:18.389 --> 00:43:22.130
Chatting with Ricky Gervais, Harry Hill, James Acaster, and Catherine Ryan,
1057
00:43:22.170 --> 00:43:22.849
amongst others.
1058
00:43:22.969 --> 00:43:24.969
Backstage at the Blur concert at Wembley.
1059
00:43:25.010 --> 00:43:27.829
And I met my hero, Angie Roachwood, and I cried.
1060
00:43:28.150 --> 00:43:29.130
So that's Chattabix.
1061
00:43:29.170 --> 00:43:31.289
D-H-A-T-A-B-I-X.
1062
00:43:31.690 --> 00:43:32.190
Chattabix.
1063
00:43:32.929 --> 00:43:35.989
Andy Bush here from Guestimators, the brand new game show
1064
00:43:36.010 --> 00:43:39.909
where guesswork beats Google. Join me, our resident quiz master,
1065
00:43:39.949 --> 00:43:43.210
Statman Matt, and a celebrity guest as we dive into
1066
00:43:43.230 --> 00:43:46.309
the brains of the great British public. Statman, what sort
1067
00:43:46.329 --> 00:43:47.510
of questions have we been asking?
1068
00:43:47.909 --> 00:43:49.340
Well, Bush, here are some of my favourites.
1069
00:43:49.699 --> 00:43:51.030
Who's the best Irish person?
1070
00:43:51.280 --> 00:43:52.909
Which finger would you chop off if you had to?
1071
00:43:53.340 --> 00:43:56.000
And how many human-sized corgis could Prince William beat in
1072
00:43:56.019 --> 00:43:56.320
a fight?
1073
00:43:56.480 --> 00:43:58.619
To play along at home and listen to the podcast,
1074
00:43:58.639 --> 00:44:01.820
just visit guestimators.com. I think I'd chop off my left
1075
00:44:01.860 --> 00:44:02.550
little finger, by the way.