WEBVTT
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If your next experience went exactly how you
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expected it to go, would that be good news? Belief
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isn't fluff, it's an expectation that scales.
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Welcome to the Optimizing Beyond podcast. My
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name is Josh Negron, and this show is all about
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sharing lessons and ideas and strategies that
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sharpen your thinking, strengthen your habits,
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and push you to grow beyond your comfort level.
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Let's dive in. So today I'd like to explore the
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idea of belief and the power of expectation.
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Some of the books that we're going to be pulling
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from today are The Expectation Effect, which
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is a really interesting book, Psycho -Cybernetics,
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which is another popular one, Atomic Habits by
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James Clear, which is a fantastic book, The Four
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Agreements, Winning by Tim Grover, and Good Leaders
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Ask Great Questions. Now, all of these books
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have some of the ideas of the power of expectation
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and beliefs and how you can change your present
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and your future based on your beliefs and expectations,
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which consequently are affected by your past
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and your perception of your past. So a quote
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I want to read to you is, we don't rise to the
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level of our goals. We rise to the level of our
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systems and belief. is the deepest system of
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all. So the expectation effect talks about how
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expectation is a part of the brain's prediction
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machine. It says the brain is actually a prediction
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machine, and that's all it does. A lot of its
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processing power is focused on guessing what
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will happen next based on what has happened historically.
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You probably have heard of the placebo effect,
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right? And so that's the idea that they'll put
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two people, they'll have groups of people that
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have an ailment of some sort and a drug they
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want to test, and half the people get the real
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drug and half the people get a sugar pill. And
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by that, they kind of gauge the effectiveness
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of the drug. But always... included in that is
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uh are people that are getting better because
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of the placebo effect which as you know is when
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people improve when there is no physical legitimate
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reason why they should improve it's a sugar pill
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it's not anything real but their expectation
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is i'm on this drug it's to cure or help whatever
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i'm ailing ailed by and uh thereby i should be
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better There's also a more sinister version of
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this called the Nacebo effect. Common example
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that's given in the book is that there is a gentleman
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who was diagnosed with a particular type of cancer.
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And when they diagnosed him, they said, hey,
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you have this type of cancer. You only have six
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months to live. So sorry. And crazy thing is
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he died six months later. And when they did the
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autopsy. It turned out he didn't have cancer.
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That's crazy, right? So why is that so crazy,
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though? If it's possible for you to get better
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from a sugar pill that literally does nothing
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because of your expectation that it should do
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something, then couldn't the inverse naturally
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be true? That if you have the expectation that
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bad things are going to happen, they are going
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to happen. Now, I get it. I read those kinds
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of books, and I immediately think of this manifest,
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name it, claim it, name it kind of scenario.
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And it seems just pretty hooky, pretty out there,
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right? But you can't deny those cases, right?
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So while it may not be as extreme as you're willing
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to accept right now, The truth is there is at
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least some middle ground in here, and that's
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what I want to explore today. So the key takeaway
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about belief is that expectation is a preloaded
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experience. In other words, it's something that
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you have an expectation of based on, again, historical
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evidence of what the future will look like. And
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there's a certain degree of truth to that in
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how things play out in your future. Now, if there's
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a way for us to use this to our advantage to
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have good things happen, again, I feel like...
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That's positive, right? Some quotes you may have
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heard before around this is your brain doesn't
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wait for proof. It creates it. I thought that
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was also very interesting. And the ceiling on
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your performance is rarely talent. It's the story
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you believe. So this is an interesting thing.
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Like I'm an avid weightlifter. I do love Olympic
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lifts are some of my favorites. And I remember
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in my... eight years now of doing it, I was reading
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this kind of content and I decided to kind of
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do an experiment. And so I remember when we would
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used to do, you know, one rep maxes of whatever,
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that I would say things like, this is the first
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time I've ever tried this weight. Or I would
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say things like, last time I did this, I failed.
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Or this is the first time I've gone this heavy
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since insert. something since I was hurt or since
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I was whatever. I haven't lifted this in three
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years. All of those statements. And a lot of
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times, not always, I wouldn't be able to lift
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the weight. And I thought that was interesting.
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So immediately after some repetitions of this,
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I decided to test the inverse. So I was like,
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I'm not allowed to say those things anymore.
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What I'm going to do instead is I'm going to
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visualize doing the lift successfully. I'm also
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only going to say positive things if I say anything
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at all. And so if I look at my friend nearby
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who's encouraging me and be like, I'm going to
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get it. It's going to be good. That didn't mean,
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again, 100 % of the time I lifted it. Nope. But
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I felt like the success percentage was greater.
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Now, was that because of the expectation? That's
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a good question. What this leads into is that
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a lot of times your beliefs, if you don't guide
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them, they're automatic. And so the words you
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use, your past failures, what people have told
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you before, in other words, the voices you allow
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in, and the labels that you accept on yourself
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are the ones that create the story. So if you're
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not in the driver's seat, they're automatically
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happening. In other words... That's going to
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become the narrative of your expectations. So
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in a kind of way, they become self -fulfilling
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prophecies. And so there was a time for most
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of my life where I allowed negative self -talk.
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And even things as simple as, you're an idiot,
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or you're so stupid, or anytime there was a mistake,
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there was a high degree of criticism associated
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with that. But that negative talk, that negative
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gossip, the things that I would never say to
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another human being but allowed myself to say
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to me, they became an automatic narrative. And
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so I realized that that affected how I carried
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myself. It eroded my confidence and really just
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affected me in a negative way. What I want you
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to think about is which expectation is renting
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space in your head without paying? Is there a
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belief that you have, I'm not enough, I have
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to get approval, or what I do is never appreciated?
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Those kinds of things. Are there any scripts
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that you believe that could be not trustworthy?
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Maybe they're what we could categorize later
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as a lie. All right, so here we're going to do
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the belief framework. And this is a six -step
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system with the letters of belief that are going
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to allow you to explore potentially, let's say,
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what your number one false belief might be and
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then rewriting it. So the first letter is B,
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baseline the assumption. So what you're going
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to do here is find out what... negative assumption
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comes to your head, that negative expectation
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that you carry, and name it and write it down
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right now. What is that? I'm not enough. My efforts
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aren't good enough. Nobody wants me. Whatever
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that might be, write it down. And then we're
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going to go to step two, E, examine the evidence.
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You're going to separate story from fact. Does
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actual evidence support this statement? A lot
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of times it doesn't. So what disproves it? You
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can't take something away without replacing it.
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So what are the things that prove it wrong? Do
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you have any evidences of the inverse being true?
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And most expectations are half -truths. So maybe
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there is some truth to it. Maybe that was 10
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years ago. Are you the same person you were 10
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years ago? Of course not. So let's have some
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grace for ourselves and look at that. Step three
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is L, language rewrite. You're going to be changing
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the script here. Words shape beliefs. Beliefs
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shape behaviors. So replace something like I
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will always fail with I will grow stronger with
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each rep. The next step is identity anchor. Identity
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anchor. Habits stick best when they align with
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who we believe we are. So we're going to write
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identity -based statements. I'm the type of person
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that blank even when blank. So I'm the type of
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person that follows through even when I get really
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busy or I don't get enough sleep. Whatever those
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things are that might make you not follow through.
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Step five is evidence stacking. And that is taking
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small repeatable actions. that bulletproof your
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success. Success is rarely one big moment. It's
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stacked when wins rewrite your expectation. And
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the last one is F, feedback loop. Review progress
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weekly. Beliefs are like software. They need
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updating. And keep the ones producing results.
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Write new ones that are holding you back and
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repeat the process. So this is not a one -time
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thing. The key idea here is look at what those
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false beliefs are, those things that you might
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be carrying with you, and identify the lack of
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truths associated with them and then push them
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through. and out, and rewrite a truth that replaces
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it, and then repeat that over and over. So next
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we're going to do two practical seven -day experiments
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you can try. And the first one is a sleep reset.
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So this example is every night before you go
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to bed, say something like, my body knows how
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to rest. Whatever sleep I get, I will operate
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well tomorrow. There's this funny thing my trainer
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would tell me. I wear a whoop strap, and it tells
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you what your daily score is, what your recovery
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score is. And sometimes you're in the green,
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sometimes you're in the yellow, and sometimes
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you're in the red. And red is usually affected
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when you have a lot of high strain, you don't
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get very good sleep, and your recovery is just
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poor. Now, usually that correlates with how you're
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feeling. You wake up feeling smashed, and that's
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exactly what your whoop will say. But other times
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you wake up, you feel fine. You see it, and you
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go, oh, wow, I guess I'm in bad shape. And he
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would always be really irritated by that concept
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because he's like, I don't want you looking at
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that and then going, well, I'm supposed to feel
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bad, so I guess I need to. And so that's the
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idea. So this is using the inverse of that, right?
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You're saying that no matter if you miss out
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on sleep, if you can't sleep, if your sleep quality
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is poor, whatever that may be, that you will
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still operate well tomorrow. And so when you
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do that, When you wake up in the morning, rate
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your energy before checking the clock, before
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reflecting on how bad or how good the sleep was,
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and then track that number for seven days. The
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idea is that over time of telling yourself that,
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regardless of if you get poor sleep, you will
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function better the next day. The next one is
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performance priming. Now this one is before a
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workout or doing something tough at work, like
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say sitting down and smashing some sales calls
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or doing a focused work block. You're going to
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say things like, I am the person who finishes
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strong. My last two reps are going to be my best.
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Obviously that one's in the fitness space. If
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you're doing sales calls, you can say something
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like, regardless of who picks up, I'm going to
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give them my best or I'm going to ask for the
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sale, whatever that may be. And then do the task.
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At that point, measure what you do. So keep track.
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Were the reps reflect back on that workout? Were
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those last reps, were they all quality? A lot
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of times that'll take care of itself. As you
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say that, they're gonna be better as you go through,
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right? So, and then when you make your sales
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calls, track your numbers. So the main premise
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here is that your performance will follow your
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expectation. So if you have positive expectations
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then your performance is going to increase. So
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again it won't always work in the same way a
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placebo doesn't always work. But our idea is
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if that is a proven leverage that you can make,
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why wouldn't you want that on your side? So instead
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of risking the placebo effect, we want to continuously
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pursue the placebo effect, right? So let's zoom
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this out in leadership. We actually experienced
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this at our dealership, and I'll run you through
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how that went down. So if you're thinking about...
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as a leader, your team will always perform to
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a certain degree around your expectations. And
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so if you have a leader that says, man, Q4 is
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always going to be crappy. A lot of times, guess
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what? Q4 is going to be crappy. So there was
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a year at the dealership where we were going
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into the winter months, the heavy, deep winter
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months. And we had this language around those
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months. We called them the embers. And we always
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talked about them in a negative way of like,
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well, the embers are coming. We better batten
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down the hatches and be careful with how much
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inventory we take in because we know we're not
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going to sell very many cars and those kinds
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of things. Well, we always had a horrible Q4
00:16:03.360 --> 00:16:06.320
and sometimes even a horrible Q1 when we talked
00:16:06.320 --> 00:16:10.879
like that. So that next year we decided, hey,
00:16:11.879 --> 00:16:16.759
From the top down, no conversation, especially
00:16:16.759 --> 00:16:19.460
negative conversation around the embers. Don't
00:16:19.460 --> 00:16:21.500
even talk about that. That word wasn't allowed
00:16:21.500 --> 00:16:24.779
anymore. And the entire leadership team was told,
00:16:24.960 --> 00:16:28.200
hey, we're not talking about it. No negativity
00:16:28.200 --> 00:16:30.639
around it. Don't even talk about, don't even
00:16:30.639 --> 00:16:32.539
say the word embers because it carries all that
00:16:32.539 --> 00:16:35.879
weight from previous years. And we had a much
00:16:35.879 --> 00:16:39.120
more successful Q4 that year. And I don't think
00:16:39.120 --> 00:16:42.940
that was an accident. And so you have to understand
00:16:42.940 --> 00:16:47.299
that, again, your team will live up to your expectations,
00:16:47.679 --> 00:16:52.600
good or bad. So the idea is, as a leader, how
00:16:52.600 --> 00:16:55.919
do you apply this? And so, again, the same way
00:16:55.919 --> 00:16:58.019
you're gamifying the things that we talked about
00:16:58.019 --> 00:17:01.019
personally, whether it's in the gym, a sleep
00:17:01.019 --> 00:17:05.279
habit, or some of your work habits, how, as a
00:17:05.279 --> 00:17:07.720
leader, think about ways that you can leverage
00:17:07.720 --> 00:17:11.130
this with your team. Words have a ton of power.
00:17:11.250 --> 00:17:14.029
That's a lot of what this is talking about. Words
00:17:14.029 --> 00:17:18.730
and thoughts. And so speaking out loud to your
00:17:18.730 --> 00:17:23.190
team what you think the team is capable of. Whatever
00:17:23.190 --> 00:17:26.730
that ceiling is, keep raising it. Raise those
00:17:26.730 --> 00:17:29.490
expectations. Raise what you think they're capable
00:17:29.490 --> 00:17:32.529
of. And telling them that you believe in them
00:17:32.529 --> 00:17:38.170
is step one. Step two is define evidence tasks.
00:17:39.059 --> 00:17:41.359
Now, your team's going to see right through hype.
00:17:41.539 --> 00:17:43.700
So if you're just a rah -rah guy and you're not
00:17:43.700 --> 00:17:46.359
explaining to them specifically why you think
00:17:46.359 --> 00:17:50.059
that they can achieve those things, it's going
00:17:50.059 --> 00:17:53.420
to be a little empty. So it's up to you, knowing
00:17:53.420 --> 00:17:56.380
your team, knowing what they're capable of, seeing
00:17:56.380 --> 00:17:58.619
their potential. A lot of leaders have that gift.
00:17:59.039 --> 00:18:02.230
Use that. Tell them why you think they're capable
00:18:02.230 --> 00:18:04.710
of achieving those things. And you'll see them,
00:18:04.789 --> 00:18:07.089
even when they don't believe in themselves, you'll
00:18:07.089 --> 00:18:10.250
see that your belief in them becomes their belief,
00:18:10.430 --> 00:18:13.390
which is extremely powerful. Number three is
00:18:13.390 --> 00:18:17.549
praise process, not just the results. So John
00:18:17.549 --> 00:18:20.789
Maxwell always says, fail forward. And as a leader,
00:18:20.849 --> 00:18:23.329
you have to allow for failure. You have to allow
00:18:23.329 --> 00:18:26.410
for poor reps. Because James Clear talks about
00:18:26.410 --> 00:18:29.920
in Atomic Habits, That reps count. Like, yeah,
00:18:30.019 --> 00:18:33.880
doing things frequently is good. Doing them daily
00:18:33.880 --> 00:18:37.099
is awesome. But some things you can do multiple
00:18:37.099 --> 00:18:39.700
times a day. And as long as the rep count is
00:18:39.700 --> 00:18:42.619
high, then the skill set continues to improve.
00:18:43.160 --> 00:18:46.740
So praise the process. Allow your people to run
00:18:46.740 --> 00:18:49.960
hard. And sometimes it's going to be running
00:18:49.960 --> 00:18:52.140
a little sloppy. And be willing to give them
00:18:52.140 --> 00:18:53.980
that grace, especially as they're starting out.
00:18:54.329 --> 00:18:57.190
Number four is protect the culture's language.
00:18:57.450 --> 00:19:00.710
In other words, the idea of a sports team that
00:19:00.710 --> 00:19:03.109
says, well, we always choke under pressure. Or,
00:19:03.109 --> 00:19:05.450
yep, when quarter four happens, we're always,
00:19:05.549 --> 00:19:09.289
you know, like my example earlier. I'm a Dallas
00:19:09.289 --> 00:19:11.849
Cowboys fan. I know that's sad news for a lot
00:19:11.849 --> 00:19:14.970
of people. But that means I'm very familiar with
00:19:14.970 --> 00:19:18.390
suffering. But one thing that was interesting
00:19:18.390 --> 00:19:21.210
to me back in the Romo days was that that was
00:19:21.210 --> 00:19:23.369
like when fantasy football started getting really
00:19:23.369 --> 00:19:26.990
popular. And Romo was a pretty juicy stat monster.
00:19:27.309 --> 00:19:31.670
And so there were a lot of people who originally
00:19:31.670 --> 00:19:34.349
I was used to hearing a lot of negativity around
00:19:34.349 --> 00:19:36.809
the Dallas Cowboys. They started being really
00:19:36.809 --> 00:19:39.970
positive about Romo. And that was just unique
00:19:39.970 --> 00:19:42.369
to hear at the time. And that was because he
00:19:42.369 --> 00:19:45.470
would help them on their fantasy teams. And it
00:19:45.470 --> 00:19:47.630
was true. His numbers were awesome most of the
00:19:47.630 --> 00:19:51.089
time. And I don't know if this was a limiting
00:19:51.089 --> 00:19:55.180
belief for him. It's just a thought. But it seemed
00:19:55.180 --> 00:19:57.839
like he always had the hardest times at the most
00:19:57.839 --> 00:20:00.859
critical, pivotal moments in those games that
00:20:00.859 --> 00:20:03.599
mattered the most. And in those moments, he,
00:20:03.680 --> 00:20:07.400
you know, would miss the critical pass or he
00:20:07.400 --> 00:20:10.039
would fumble or something bad would happen. And
00:20:10.039 --> 00:20:11.980
so I wonder, you know, I can't have a conversation
00:20:11.980 --> 00:20:14.200
with him, but I wonder, was there a little bit
00:20:14.200 --> 00:20:17.680
of that false belief? Did the coaches have that
00:20:17.680 --> 00:20:22.130
belief? Because the people certainly did. Or
00:20:22.130 --> 00:20:24.890
did the other players? Or any combination of
00:20:24.890 --> 00:20:27.490
those things. And did that affect his game to
00:20:27.490 --> 00:20:30.609
the point where that would kind of be a repetitive,
00:20:30.769 --> 00:20:33.490
self -fulfilling prophecy for him? It's that
00:20:33.490 --> 00:20:35.509
idea. So if you're the leader, if you're the
00:20:35.509 --> 00:20:39.289
coach, if you're the boss, these are the kind
00:20:39.289 --> 00:20:41.569
of things that you don't want to project. You
00:20:41.569 --> 00:20:45.529
don't want to set the expectation poorly. So
00:20:45.529 --> 00:20:47.869
if there's any of that language that you do have,
00:20:48.089 --> 00:20:53.069
get rid of it. And then adjust it and then project
00:20:53.069 --> 00:20:56.650
the positive version, project the increased ceiling,
00:20:56.710 --> 00:20:58.430
the increased performance of what you think they're
00:20:58.430 --> 00:21:03.009
capable of. And remember, belief isn't pretending.
00:21:03.130 --> 00:21:06.930
It's pairing expectation with honest feedback.
00:21:07.049 --> 00:21:09.349
Like we said earlier, remember, it has to be
00:21:09.349 --> 00:21:11.950
specific. It has to make sense to them to know
00:21:11.950 --> 00:21:16.490
why you think that they're capable and that.
00:21:17.769 --> 00:21:20.789
This cares for them personally and then challenges
00:21:20.789 --> 00:21:23.049
them directly because it's specific to them.
00:21:23.210 --> 00:21:26.130
So finally, here's something that you can take
00:21:26.130 --> 00:21:30.910
away from today. Expectation is a preloaded experience,
00:21:31.250 --> 00:21:35.109
so write a better preload. So here's your challenge
00:21:35.109 --> 00:21:38.309
today. Pick one script in your head right now
00:21:38.309 --> 00:21:40.410
and run through the belief framework like we
00:21:40.410 --> 00:21:43.619
talked about earlier. Try one of the seven -day
00:21:43.619 --> 00:21:47.339
experiments and prove to yourself how powerful
00:21:47.339 --> 00:21:50.539
this might be. I'll give you one more example
00:21:50.539 --> 00:21:53.200
for me personally that I think was super powerful
00:21:53.200 --> 00:21:57.240
that you may want to try. So for me, I said earlier
00:21:57.240 --> 00:22:00.960
that negative self -talk was a really big deal
00:22:00.960 --> 00:22:04.819
in my life. And I think honestly was what manifested
00:22:04.819 --> 00:22:10.079
things like bad luck and just a general disposition,
00:22:10.460 --> 00:22:15.119
lack of confidence in myself and the way I carried
00:22:15.119 --> 00:22:18.359
myself and the way I was projecting myself to
00:22:18.359 --> 00:22:20.920
the world and honestly affected how people perceived
00:22:20.920 --> 00:22:24.660
me. And so I recognized that that kind of language
00:22:24.660 --> 00:22:28.059
wasn't constructive. And so, but how do you get
00:22:28.059 --> 00:22:30.759
rid of negative self -talk? Because initially,
00:22:31.019 --> 00:22:35.420
yes, negative self -talk is like a degree of
00:22:35.420 --> 00:22:38.000
it is verbal. But there's a ton of it that's
00:22:38.000 --> 00:22:40.359
not. There's a ton of it that's in your head.
00:22:40.960 --> 00:22:44.299
And so it just, it was so overwhelming. I was
00:22:44.299 --> 00:22:46.079
like, I don't even know how to begin to tackle
00:22:46.079 --> 00:22:49.920
that. The way that worked for me, strangely enough,
00:22:50.059 --> 00:22:53.119
was I reverse engineered it. I decided to, I
00:22:53.119 --> 00:22:57.299
was like, listen, to attack negative self thoughts
00:22:57.299 --> 00:23:00.240
is way too overwhelming. There's thousands of
00:23:00.240 --> 00:23:01.880
them every day and I don't even know how to attack
00:23:01.880 --> 00:23:04.779
that. So I decided instead, let's start with.
00:23:05.039 --> 00:23:07.500
the things I say out loud. Now I recruited my
00:23:07.500 --> 00:23:10.680
friends to do this. And, you know, they always
00:23:10.680 --> 00:23:14.500
seem very eager to, to give you crap. So I said,
00:23:14.559 --> 00:23:17.019
Hey, if you hear me say anything negative about
00:23:17.019 --> 00:23:20.000
myself, you have permission to call me out. And
00:23:20.000 --> 00:23:24.319
they did. And so over time, I noticed I was I
00:23:24.319 --> 00:23:26.099
would catch myself like anytime I would make
00:23:26.099 --> 00:23:28.559
a mistake or drop something or do something stupid,
00:23:28.599 --> 00:23:32.519
I would get ready to say one of those token phrases.
00:23:33.119 --> 00:23:36.819
And I'd catch myself. Nope, not gonna say that.
00:23:36.920 --> 00:23:39.660
And so it worked. It started really catch, I
00:23:39.660 --> 00:23:42.940
started really being careful what I would say
00:23:42.940 --> 00:23:45.960
out loud. And like we said earlier, words do
00:23:45.960 --> 00:23:50.180
have a tremendous amount of power. But so do
00:23:50.180 --> 00:23:52.980
thoughts. But what I noticed was curious. As
00:23:52.980 --> 00:23:55.759
I was attacking the spoken word that I was saying
00:23:55.759 --> 00:24:01.049
out loud, I noticed that the the thoughts would
00:24:01.049 --> 00:24:06.369
be less and less and because it wasn't tidal
00:24:06.369 --> 00:24:09.930
waves anymore i was able to finally start taking
00:24:09.930 --> 00:24:12.849
those thoughts captive and saying hey no that's
00:24:12.849 --> 00:24:15.730
not true this is true and using one of those
00:24:15.730 --> 00:24:18.990
replacement phrases and throwing it out or giving
00:24:18.990 --> 00:24:21.970
it evidence this isn't true because and then
00:24:21.970 --> 00:24:26.710
giving it a reason uh why that wasn't true so
00:24:27.309 --> 00:24:29.430
That's something you can try if you want a super
00:24:29.430 --> 00:24:32.529
practical example. If you struggle with negative
00:24:32.529 --> 00:24:35.410
self -talk, kind of see if you can reverse engineer
00:24:35.410 --> 00:24:37.309
it. Let me know, reach out. I'd love to see how
00:24:37.309 --> 00:24:41.390
that turns out. Thanks for listening to the Optimizing
00:24:41.390 --> 00:24:44.910
Beyond podcast. Remember, growth happens when
00:24:44.910 --> 00:24:47.670
you take action. So subscribe, share this with
00:24:47.670 --> 00:24:50.390
a friend, and most importantly, put what you've
00:24:50.390 --> 00:24:54.210
learned into practice. Until next time, remember...
00:24:54.750 --> 00:24:56.930
Daily anything changes everything.
00:00:00.240 --> 00:00:03.879
If your next experience went exactly how you
00:00:03.879 --> 00:00:08.679
expected it to go, would that be good news? Belief
00:00:08.679 --> 00:00:11.960
isn't fluff, it's an expectation that scales.
00:00:12.380 --> 00:00:15.740
Welcome to the Optimizing Beyond podcast. My
00:00:15.740 --> 00:00:18.140
name is Josh Negron, and this show is all about
00:00:18.140 --> 00:00:21.539
sharing lessons and ideas and strategies that
00:00:21.539 --> 00:00:23.960
sharpen your thinking, strengthen your habits,
00:00:24.100 --> 00:00:26.460
and push you to grow beyond your comfort level.
00:00:26.940 --> 00:00:30.719
Let's dive in. So today I'd like to explore the
00:00:30.719 --> 00:00:34.899
idea of belief and the power of expectation.
00:00:35.439 --> 00:00:38.380
Some of the books that we're going to be pulling
00:00:38.380 --> 00:00:41.439
from today are The Expectation Effect, which
00:00:41.439 --> 00:00:44.740
is a really interesting book, Psycho -Cybernetics,
00:00:44.840 --> 00:00:47.280
which is another popular one, Atomic Habits by
00:00:47.280 --> 00:00:50.640
James Clear, which is a fantastic book, The Four
00:00:50.640 --> 00:00:55.079
Agreements, Winning by Tim Grover, and Good Leaders
00:00:55.079 --> 00:00:58.759
Ask Great Questions. Now, all of these books
00:00:58.759 --> 00:01:02.619
have some of the ideas of the power of expectation
00:01:02.619 --> 00:01:06.599
and beliefs and how you can change your present
00:01:06.599 --> 00:01:09.980
and your future based on your beliefs and expectations,
00:01:10.219 --> 00:01:13.760
which consequently are affected by your past
00:01:13.760 --> 00:01:17.480
and your perception of your past. So a quote
00:01:17.480 --> 00:01:20.000
I want to read to you is, we don't rise to the
00:01:20.000 --> 00:01:23.359
level of our goals. We rise to the level of our
00:01:23.359 --> 00:01:27.560
systems and belief. is the deepest system of
00:01:27.560 --> 00:01:32.379
all. So the expectation effect talks about how
00:01:32.379 --> 00:01:37.260
expectation is a part of the brain's prediction
00:01:37.260 --> 00:01:40.579
machine. It says the brain is actually a prediction
00:01:40.579 --> 00:01:43.000
machine, and that's all it does. A lot of its
00:01:43.000 --> 00:01:46.640
processing power is focused on guessing what
00:01:46.640 --> 00:01:49.400
will happen next based on what has happened historically.
00:01:50.810 --> 00:01:52.609
You probably have heard of the placebo effect,
00:01:52.870 --> 00:01:56.689
right? And so that's the idea that they'll put
00:01:56.689 --> 00:01:59.709
two people, they'll have groups of people that
00:01:59.709 --> 00:02:02.010
have an ailment of some sort and a drug they
00:02:02.010 --> 00:02:03.829
want to test, and half the people get the real
00:02:03.829 --> 00:02:06.069
drug and half the people get a sugar pill. And
00:02:06.069 --> 00:02:09.389
by that, they kind of gauge the effectiveness
00:02:09.389 --> 00:02:14.050
of the drug. But always... included in that is
00:02:14.050 --> 00:02:16.409
uh are people that are getting better because
00:02:16.409 --> 00:02:19.110
of the placebo effect which as you know is when
00:02:19.110 --> 00:02:22.949
people improve when there is no physical legitimate
00:02:22.949 --> 00:02:25.330
reason why they should improve it's a sugar pill
00:02:25.330 --> 00:02:27.710
it's not anything real but their expectation
00:02:27.710 --> 00:02:31.689
is i'm on this drug it's to cure or help whatever
00:02:31.689 --> 00:02:36.129
i'm ailing ailed by and uh thereby i should be
00:02:36.129 --> 00:02:39.840
better There's also a more sinister version of
00:02:39.840 --> 00:02:42.800
this called the Nacebo effect. Common example
00:02:42.800 --> 00:02:46.879
that's given in the book is that there is a gentleman
00:02:46.879 --> 00:02:49.639
who was diagnosed with a particular type of cancer.
00:02:50.419 --> 00:02:55.000
And when they diagnosed him, they said, hey,
00:02:55.039 --> 00:02:57.180
you have this type of cancer. You only have six
00:02:57.180 --> 00:03:01.900
months to live. So sorry. And crazy thing is
00:03:01.900 --> 00:03:04.800
he died six months later. And when they did the
00:03:04.800 --> 00:03:08.439
autopsy. It turned out he didn't have cancer.
00:03:11.360 --> 00:03:15.599
That's crazy, right? So why is that so crazy,
00:03:15.659 --> 00:03:18.080
though? If it's possible for you to get better
00:03:18.080 --> 00:03:21.400
from a sugar pill that literally does nothing
00:03:21.400 --> 00:03:24.080
because of your expectation that it should do
00:03:24.080 --> 00:03:26.879
something, then couldn't the inverse naturally
00:03:26.879 --> 00:03:29.479
be true? That if you have the expectation that
00:03:29.479 --> 00:03:31.280
bad things are going to happen, they are going
00:03:31.280 --> 00:03:33.780
to happen. Now, I get it. I read those kinds
00:03:33.780 --> 00:03:38.740
of books, and I immediately think of this manifest,
00:03:39.159 --> 00:03:42.659
name it, claim it, name it kind of scenario.
00:03:43.139 --> 00:03:46.960
And it seems just pretty hooky, pretty out there,
00:03:47.080 --> 00:03:50.680
right? But you can't deny those cases, right?
00:03:50.780 --> 00:03:54.439
So while it may not be as extreme as you're willing
00:03:54.439 --> 00:03:58.319
to accept right now, The truth is there is at
00:03:58.319 --> 00:04:00.580
least some middle ground in here, and that's
00:04:00.580 --> 00:04:02.960
what I want to explore today. So the key takeaway
00:04:02.960 --> 00:04:07.379
about belief is that expectation is a preloaded
00:04:07.379 --> 00:04:09.819
experience. In other words, it's something that
00:04:09.819 --> 00:04:14.719
you have an expectation of based on, again, historical
00:04:14.719 --> 00:04:17.779
evidence of what the future will look like. And
00:04:17.779 --> 00:04:20.899
there's a certain degree of truth to that in
00:04:20.899 --> 00:04:24.339
how things play out in your future. Now, if there's
00:04:24.339 --> 00:04:27.720
a way for us to use this to our advantage to
00:04:27.720 --> 00:04:31.959
have good things happen, again, I feel like...
00:04:32.279 --> 00:04:34.759
That's positive, right? Some quotes you may have
00:04:34.759 --> 00:04:38.079
heard before around this is your brain doesn't
00:04:38.079 --> 00:04:40.480
wait for proof. It creates it. I thought that
00:04:40.480 --> 00:04:43.480
was also very interesting. And the ceiling on
00:04:43.480 --> 00:04:47.000
your performance is rarely talent. It's the story
00:04:47.000 --> 00:04:50.519
you believe. So this is an interesting thing.
00:04:50.680 --> 00:04:54.439
Like I'm an avid weightlifter. I do love Olympic
00:04:54.439 --> 00:04:59.160
lifts are some of my favorites. And I remember
00:04:59.160 --> 00:05:05.220
in my... eight years now of doing it, I was reading
00:05:05.220 --> 00:05:09.240
this kind of content and I decided to kind of
00:05:09.240 --> 00:05:13.120
do an experiment. And so I remember when we would
00:05:13.120 --> 00:05:15.319
used to do, you know, one rep maxes of whatever,
00:05:15.540 --> 00:05:19.180
that I would say things like, this is the first
00:05:19.180 --> 00:05:22.220
time I've ever tried this weight. Or I would
00:05:22.220 --> 00:05:25.000
say things like, last time I did this, I failed.
00:05:25.560 --> 00:05:28.819
Or this is the first time I've gone this heavy
00:05:28.819 --> 00:05:32.620
since insert. something since I was hurt or since
00:05:32.620 --> 00:05:36.899
I was whatever. I haven't lifted this in three
00:05:36.899 --> 00:05:40.079
years. All of those statements. And a lot of
00:05:40.079 --> 00:05:43.180
times, not always, I wouldn't be able to lift
00:05:43.180 --> 00:05:45.500
the weight. And I thought that was interesting.
00:05:45.759 --> 00:05:50.300
So immediately after some repetitions of this,
00:05:50.459 --> 00:05:53.420
I decided to test the inverse. So I was like,
00:05:53.439 --> 00:05:55.319
I'm not allowed to say those things anymore.
00:05:55.540 --> 00:05:59.199
What I'm going to do instead is I'm going to
00:05:59.199 --> 00:06:04.519
visualize doing the lift successfully. I'm also
00:06:04.519 --> 00:06:06.860
only going to say positive things if I say anything
00:06:06.860 --> 00:06:09.699
at all. And so if I look at my friend nearby
00:06:09.699 --> 00:06:11.639
who's encouraging me and be like, I'm going to
00:06:11.639 --> 00:06:15.240
get it. It's going to be good. That didn't mean,
00:06:15.319 --> 00:06:19.060
again, 100 % of the time I lifted it. Nope. But
00:06:19.060 --> 00:06:22.920
I felt like the success percentage was greater.
00:06:23.519 --> 00:06:26.319
Now, was that because of the expectation? That's
00:06:26.319 --> 00:06:29.459
a good question. What this leads into is that
00:06:29.459 --> 00:06:33.699
a lot of times your beliefs, if you don't guide
00:06:33.699 --> 00:06:36.980
them, they're automatic. And so the words you
00:06:36.980 --> 00:06:40.740
use, your past failures, what people have told
00:06:40.740 --> 00:06:43.680
you before, in other words, the voices you allow
00:06:43.680 --> 00:06:46.879
in, and the labels that you accept on yourself
00:06:46.879 --> 00:06:51.639
are the ones that create the story. So if you're
00:06:51.639 --> 00:06:54.220
not in the driver's seat, they're automatically
00:06:54.220 --> 00:06:57.410
happening. In other words... That's going to
00:06:57.410 --> 00:07:01.290
become the narrative of your expectations. So
00:07:01.290 --> 00:07:03.769
in a kind of way, they become self -fulfilling
00:07:03.769 --> 00:07:08.170
prophecies. And so there was a time for most
00:07:08.170 --> 00:07:11.050
of my life where I allowed negative self -talk.
00:07:11.649 --> 00:07:14.850
And even things as simple as, you're an idiot,
00:07:15.029 --> 00:07:18.170
or you're so stupid, or anytime there was a mistake,
00:07:18.250 --> 00:07:20.050
there was a high degree of criticism associated
00:07:20.050 --> 00:07:24.209
with that. But that negative talk, that negative
00:07:24.209 --> 00:07:26.730
gossip, the things that I would never say to
00:07:26.730 --> 00:07:29.029
another human being but allowed myself to say
00:07:29.029 --> 00:07:34.209
to me, they became an automatic narrative. And
00:07:34.209 --> 00:07:38.350
so I realized that that affected how I carried
00:07:38.350 --> 00:07:43.310
myself. It eroded my confidence and really just
00:07:43.310 --> 00:07:46.670
affected me in a negative way. What I want you
00:07:46.670 --> 00:07:49.949
to think about is which expectation is renting
00:07:49.949 --> 00:07:54.069
space in your head without paying? Is there a
00:07:54.069 --> 00:07:58.790
belief that you have, I'm not enough, I have
00:07:58.790 --> 00:08:06.850
to get approval, or what I do is never appreciated?
00:08:07.410 --> 00:08:09.370
Those kinds of things. Are there any scripts
00:08:09.370 --> 00:08:13.889
that you believe that could be not trustworthy?
00:08:14.069 --> 00:08:17.810
Maybe they're what we could categorize later
00:08:17.810 --> 00:08:21.339
as a lie. All right, so here we're going to do
00:08:21.339 --> 00:08:26.420
the belief framework. And this is a six -step
00:08:26.420 --> 00:08:29.660
system with the letters of belief that are going
00:08:29.660 --> 00:08:33.700
to allow you to explore potentially, let's say,
00:08:33.720 --> 00:08:36.700
what your number one false belief might be and
00:08:36.700 --> 00:08:39.320
then rewriting it. So the first letter is B,
00:08:39.500 --> 00:08:42.100
baseline the assumption. So what you're going
00:08:42.100 --> 00:08:46.610
to do here is find out what... negative assumption
00:08:46.610 --> 00:08:48.649
comes to your head, that negative expectation
00:08:48.649 --> 00:08:52.610
that you carry, and name it and write it down
00:08:52.610 --> 00:08:58.169
right now. What is that? I'm not enough. My efforts
00:08:58.169 --> 00:09:03.330
aren't good enough. Nobody wants me. Whatever
00:09:03.330 --> 00:09:06.610
that might be, write it down. And then we're
00:09:06.610 --> 00:09:08.970
going to go to step two, E, examine the evidence.
00:09:10.009 --> 00:09:15.840
You're going to separate story from fact. Does
00:09:15.840 --> 00:09:21.360
actual evidence support this statement? A lot
00:09:21.360 --> 00:09:24.960
of times it doesn't. So what disproves it? You
00:09:24.960 --> 00:09:27.240
can't take something away without replacing it.
00:09:27.360 --> 00:09:33.639
So what are the things that prove it wrong? Do
00:09:33.639 --> 00:09:37.059
you have any evidences of the inverse being true?
00:09:38.519 --> 00:09:42.179
And most expectations are half -truths. So maybe
00:09:42.179 --> 00:09:44.460
there is some truth to it. Maybe that was 10
00:09:44.460 --> 00:09:46.600
years ago. Are you the same person you were 10
00:09:46.600 --> 00:09:48.740
years ago? Of course not. So let's have some
00:09:48.740 --> 00:09:50.720
grace for ourselves and look at that. Step three
00:09:50.720 --> 00:09:56.679
is L, language rewrite. You're going to be changing
00:09:56.679 --> 00:09:59.799
the script here. Words shape beliefs. Beliefs
00:09:59.799 --> 00:10:03.419
shape behaviors. So replace something like I
00:10:03.419 --> 00:10:07.320
will always fail with I will grow stronger with
00:10:07.320 --> 00:10:13.740
each rep. The next step is identity anchor. Identity
00:10:13.740 --> 00:10:18.009
anchor. Habits stick best when they align with
00:10:18.009 --> 00:10:20.730
who we believe we are. So we're going to write
00:10:20.730 --> 00:10:23.250
identity -based statements. I'm the type of person
00:10:23.250 --> 00:10:28.330
that blank even when blank. So I'm the type of
00:10:28.330 --> 00:10:32.169
person that follows through even when I get really
00:10:32.169 --> 00:10:36.250
busy or I don't get enough sleep. Whatever those
00:10:36.250 --> 00:10:38.450
things are that might make you not follow through.
00:10:39.070 --> 00:10:43.370
Step five is evidence stacking. And that is taking
00:10:43.370 --> 00:10:47.879
small repeatable actions. that bulletproof your
00:10:47.879 --> 00:10:51.940
success. Success is rarely one big moment. It's
00:10:51.940 --> 00:10:56.720
stacked when wins rewrite your expectation. And
00:10:56.720 --> 00:11:00.080
the last one is F, feedback loop. Review progress
00:11:00.080 --> 00:11:04.059
weekly. Beliefs are like software. They need
00:11:04.059 --> 00:11:06.840
updating. And keep the ones producing results.
00:11:07.000 --> 00:11:09.919
Write new ones that are holding you back and
00:11:09.919 --> 00:11:13.480
repeat the process. So this is not a one -time
00:11:13.480 --> 00:11:17.779
thing. The key idea here is look at what those
00:11:17.779 --> 00:11:20.360
false beliefs are, those things that you might
00:11:20.360 --> 00:11:24.860
be carrying with you, and identify the lack of
00:11:24.860 --> 00:11:27.299
truths associated with them and then push them
00:11:27.299 --> 00:11:32.610
through. and out, and rewrite a truth that replaces
00:11:32.610 --> 00:11:36.809
it, and then repeat that over and over. So next
00:11:36.809 --> 00:11:39.830
we're going to do two practical seven -day experiments
00:11:39.830 --> 00:11:43.830
you can try. And the first one is a sleep reset.
00:11:43.970 --> 00:11:48.110
So this example is every night before you go
00:11:48.110 --> 00:11:51.570
to bed, say something like, my body knows how
00:11:51.570 --> 00:11:55.990
to rest. Whatever sleep I get, I will operate
00:11:55.990 --> 00:12:00.269
well tomorrow. There's this funny thing my trainer
00:12:00.269 --> 00:12:04.529
would tell me. I wear a whoop strap, and it tells
00:12:04.529 --> 00:12:07.649
you what your daily score is, what your recovery
00:12:07.649 --> 00:12:10.529
score is. And sometimes you're in the green,
00:12:10.649 --> 00:12:12.470
sometimes you're in the yellow, and sometimes
00:12:12.470 --> 00:12:16.120
you're in the red. And red is usually affected
00:12:16.120 --> 00:12:18.919
when you have a lot of high strain, you don't
00:12:18.919 --> 00:12:21.759
get very good sleep, and your recovery is just
00:12:21.759 --> 00:12:24.159
poor. Now, usually that correlates with how you're
00:12:24.159 --> 00:12:27.240
feeling. You wake up feeling smashed, and that's
00:12:27.240 --> 00:12:29.960
exactly what your whoop will say. But other times
00:12:29.960 --> 00:12:32.399
you wake up, you feel fine. You see it, and you
00:12:32.399 --> 00:12:37.389
go, oh, wow, I guess I'm in bad shape. And he
00:12:37.389 --> 00:12:39.590
would always be really irritated by that concept
00:12:39.590 --> 00:12:41.690
because he's like, I don't want you looking at
00:12:41.690 --> 00:12:44.870
that and then going, well, I'm supposed to feel
00:12:44.870 --> 00:12:48.190
bad, so I guess I need to. And so that's the
00:12:48.190 --> 00:12:50.629
idea. So this is using the inverse of that, right?
00:12:50.710 --> 00:12:53.929
You're saying that no matter if you miss out
00:12:53.929 --> 00:12:57.049
on sleep, if you can't sleep, if your sleep quality
00:12:57.049 --> 00:12:59.990
is poor, whatever that may be, that you will
00:12:59.990 --> 00:13:04.950
still operate well tomorrow. And so when you
00:13:04.950 --> 00:13:09.220
do that, When you wake up in the morning, rate
00:13:09.220 --> 00:13:11.879
your energy before checking the clock, before
00:13:11.879 --> 00:13:15.019
reflecting on how bad or how good the sleep was,
00:13:15.159 --> 00:13:18.200
and then track that number for seven days. The
00:13:18.200 --> 00:13:21.480
idea is that over time of telling yourself that,
00:13:21.539 --> 00:13:25.659
regardless of if you get poor sleep, you will
00:13:25.659 --> 00:13:28.720
function better the next day. The next one is
00:13:28.720 --> 00:13:31.509
performance priming. Now this one is before a
00:13:31.509 --> 00:13:34.070
workout or doing something tough at work, like
00:13:34.070 --> 00:13:36.350
say sitting down and smashing some sales calls
00:13:36.350 --> 00:13:41.809
or doing a focused work block. You're going to
00:13:41.809 --> 00:13:45.110
say things like, I am the person who finishes
00:13:45.110 --> 00:13:49.409
strong. My last two reps are going to be my best.
00:13:50.029 --> 00:13:52.830
Obviously that one's in the fitness space. If
00:13:52.830 --> 00:13:55.350
you're doing sales calls, you can say something
00:13:55.350 --> 00:14:00.149
like, regardless of who picks up, I'm going to
00:14:00.149 --> 00:14:04.029
give them my best or I'm going to ask for the
00:14:04.029 --> 00:14:07.669
sale, whatever that may be. And then do the task.
00:14:08.549 --> 00:14:13.169
At that point, measure what you do. So keep track.
00:14:13.330 --> 00:14:16.129
Were the reps reflect back on that workout? Were
00:14:16.129 --> 00:14:19.230
those last reps, were they all quality? A lot
00:14:19.230 --> 00:14:21.149
of times that'll take care of itself. As you
00:14:21.149 --> 00:14:23.730
say that, they're gonna be better as you go through,
00:14:23.889 --> 00:14:27.610
right? So, and then when you make your sales
00:14:27.610 --> 00:14:30.379
calls, track your numbers. So the main premise
00:14:30.379 --> 00:14:33.779
here is that your performance will follow your
00:14:33.779 --> 00:14:38.200
expectation. So if you have positive expectations
00:14:38.200 --> 00:14:41.419
then your performance is going to increase. So
00:14:41.419 --> 00:14:45.960
again it won't always work in the same way a
00:14:45.960 --> 00:14:48.940
placebo doesn't always work. But our idea is
00:14:48.940 --> 00:14:51.899
if that is a proven leverage that you can make,
00:14:52.059 --> 00:14:54.940
why wouldn't you want that on your side? So instead
00:14:54.940 --> 00:14:58.179
of risking the placebo effect, we want to continuously
00:14:58.179 --> 00:15:02.480
pursue the placebo effect, right? So let's zoom
00:15:02.480 --> 00:15:04.740
this out in leadership. We actually experienced
00:15:04.740 --> 00:15:09.159
this at our dealership, and I'll run you through
00:15:09.159 --> 00:15:14.279
how that went down. So if you're thinking about...
00:15:14.920 --> 00:15:18.559
as a leader, your team will always perform to
00:15:18.559 --> 00:15:21.559
a certain degree around your expectations. And
00:15:21.559 --> 00:15:24.379
so if you have a leader that says, man, Q4 is
00:15:24.379 --> 00:15:27.240
always going to be crappy. A lot of times, guess
00:15:27.240 --> 00:15:30.379
what? Q4 is going to be crappy. So there was
00:15:30.379 --> 00:15:33.360
a year at the dealership where we were going
00:15:33.360 --> 00:15:36.659
into the winter months, the heavy, deep winter
00:15:36.659 --> 00:15:42.940
months. And we had this language around those
00:15:42.940 --> 00:15:47.120
months. We called them the embers. And we always
00:15:47.120 --> 00:15:49.679
talked about them in a negative way of like,
00:15:49.740 --> 00:15:52.360
well, the embers are coming. We better batten
00:15:52.360 --> 00:15:54.879
down the hatches and be careful with how much
00:15:54.879 --> 00:15:56.639
inventory we take in because we know we're not
00:15:56.639 --> 00:15:58.519
going to sell very many cars and those kinds
00:15:58.519 --> 00:16:03.360
of things. Well, we always had a horrible Q4
00:16:03.360 --> 00:16:06.320
and sometimes even a horrible Q1 when we talked
00:16:06.320 --> 00:16:10.879
like that. So that next year we decided, hey,
00:16:11.879 --> 00:16:16.759
From the top down, no conversation, especially
00:16:16.759 --> 00:16:19.460
negative conversation around the embers. Don't
00:16:19.460 --> 00:16:21.500
even talk about that. That word wasn't allowed
00:16:21.500 --> 00:16:24.779
anymore. And the entire leadership team was told,
00:16:24.960 --> 00:16:28.200
hey, we're not talking about it. No negativity
00:16:28.200 --> 00:16:30.639
around it. Don't even talk about, don't even
00:16:30.639 --> 00:16:32.539
say the word embers because it carries all that
00:16:32.539 --> 00:16:35.879
weight from previous years. And we had a much
00:16:35.879 --> 00:16:39.120
more successful Q4 that year. And I don't think
00:16:39.120 --> 00:16:42.940
that was an accident. And so you have to understand
00:16:42.940 --> 00:16:47.299
that, again, your team will live up to your expectations,
00:16:47.679 --> 00:16:52.600
good or bad. So the idea is, as a leader, how
00:16:52.600 --> 00:16:55.919
do you apply this? And so, again, the same way
00:16:55.919 --> 00:16:58.019
you're gamifying the things that we talked about
00:16:58.019 --> 00:17:01.019
personally, whether it's in the gym, a sleep
00:17:01.019 --> 00:17:05.279
habit, or some of your work habits, how, as a
00:17:05.279 --> 00:17:07.720
leader, think about ways that you can leverage
00:17:07.720 --> 00:17:11.130
this with your team. Words have a ton of power.
00:17:11.250 --> 00:17:14.029
That's a lot of what this is talking about. Words
00:17:14.029 --> 00:17:18.730
and thoughts. And so speaking out loud to your
00:17:18.730 --> 00:17:23.190
team what you think the team is capable of. Whatever
00:17:23.190 --> 00:17:26.730
that ceiling is, keep raising it. Raise those
00:17:26.730 --> 00:17:29.490
expectations. Raise what you think they're capable
00:17:29.490 --> 00:17:32.529
of. And telling them that you believe in them
00:17:32.529 --> 00:17:38.170
is step one. Step two is define evidence tasks.
00:17:39.059 --> 00:17:41.359
Now, your team's going to see right through hype.
00:17:41.539 --> 00:17:43.700
So if you're just a rah -rah guy and you're not
00:17:43.700 --> 00:17:46.359
explaining to them specifically why you think
00:17:46.359 --> 00:17:50.059
that they can achieve those things, it's going
00:17:50.059 --> 00:17:53.420
to be a little empty. So it's up to you, knowing
00:17:53.420 --> 00:17:56.380
your team, knowing what they're capable of, seeing
00:17:56.380 --> 00:17:58.619
their potential. A lot of leaders have that gift.
00:17:59.039 --> 00:18:02.230
Use that. Tell them why you think they're capable
00:18:02.230 --> 00:18:04.710
of achieving those things. And you'll see them,
00:18:04.789 --> 00:18:07.089
even when they don't believe in themselves, you'll
00:18:07.089 --> 00:18:10.250
see that your belief in them becomes their belief,
00:18:10.430 --> 00:18:13.390
which is extremely powerful. Number three is
00:18:13.390 --> 00:18:17.549
praise process, not just the results. So John
00:18:17.549 --> 00:18:20.789
Maxwell always says, fail forward. And as a leader,
00:18:20.849 --> 00:18:23.329
you have to allow for failure. You have to allow
00:18:23.329 --> 00:18:26.410
for poor reps. Because James Clear talks about
00:18:26.410 --> 00:18:29.920
in Atomic Habits, That reps count. Like, yeah,
00:18:30.019 --> 00:18:33.880
doing things frequently is good. Doing them daily
00:18:33.880 --> 00:18:37.099
is awesome. But some things you can do multiple
00:18:37.099 --> 00:18:39.700
times a day. And as long as the rep count is
00:18:39.700 --> 00:18:42.619
high, then the skill set continues to improve.
00:18:43.160 --> 00:18:46.740
So praise the process. Allow your people to run
00:18:46.740 --> 00:18:49.960
hard. And sometimes it's going to be running
00:18:49.960 --> 00:18:52.140
a little sloppy. And be willing to give them
00:18:52.140 --> 00:18:53.980
that grace, especially as they're starting out.
00:18:54.329 --> 00:18:57.190
Number four is protect the culture's language.
00:18:57.450 --> 00:19:00.710
In other words, the idea of a sports team that
00:19:00.710 --> 00:19:03.109
says, well, we always choke under pressure. Or,
00:19:03.109 --> 00:19:05.450
yep, when quarter four happens, we're always,
00:19:05.549 --> 00:19:09.289
you know, like my example earlier. I'm a Dallas
00:19:09.289 --> 00:19:11.849
Cowboys fan. I know that's sad news for a lot
00:19:11.849 --> 00:19:14.970
of people. But that means I'm very familiar with
00:19:14.970 --> 00:19:18.390
suffering. But one thing that was interesting
00:19:18.390 --> 00:19:21.210
to me back in the Romo days was that that was
00:19:21.210 --> 00:19:23.369
like when fantasy football started getting really
00:19:23.369 --> 00:19:26.990
popular. And Romo was a pretty juicy stat monster.
00:19:27.309 --> 00:19:31.670
And so there were a lot of people who originally
00:19:31.670 --> 00:19:34.349
I was used to hearing a lot of negativity around
00:19:34.349 --> 00:19:36.809
the Dallas Cowboys. They started being really
00:19:36.809 --> 00:19:39.970
positive about Romo. And that was just unique
00:19:39.970 --> 00:19:42.369
to hear at the time. And that was because he
00:19:42.369 --> 00:19:45.470
would help them on their fantasy teams. And it
00:19:45.470 --> 00:19:47.630
was true. His numbers were awesome most of the
00:19:47.630 --> 00:19:51.089
time. And I don't know if this was a limiting
00:19:51.089 --> 00:19:55.180
belief for him. It's just a thought. But it seemed
00:19:55.180 --> 00:19:57.839
like he always had the hardest times at the most
00:19:57.839 --> 00:20:00.859
critical, pivotal moments in those games that
00:20:00.859 --> 00:20:03.599
mattered the most. And in those moments, he,
00:20:03.680 --> 00:20:07.400
you know, would miss the critical pass or he
00:20:07.400 --> 00:20:10.039
would fumble or something bad would happen. And
00:20:10.039 --> 00:20:11.980
so I wonder, you know, I can't have a conversation
00:20:11.980 --> 00:20:14.200
with him, but I wonder, was there a little bit
00:20:14.200 --> 00:20:17.680
of that false belief? Did the coaches have that
00:20:17.680 --> 00:20:22.130
belief? Because the people certainly did. Or
00:20:22.130 --> 00:20:24.890
did the other players? Or any combination of
00:20:24.890 --> 00:20:27.490
those things. And did that affect his game to
00:20:27.490 --> 00:20:30.609
the point where that would kind of be a repetitive,
00:20:30.769 --> 00:20:33.490
self -fulfilling prophecy for him? It's that
00:20:33.490 --> 00:20:35.509
idea. So if you're the leader, if you're the
00:20:35.509 --> 00:20:39.289
coach, if you're the boss, these are the kind
00:20:39.289 --> 00:20:41.569
of things that you don't want to project. You
00:20:41.569 --> 00:20:45.529
don't want to set the expectation poorly. So
00:20:45.529 --> 00:20:47.869
if there's any of that language that you do have,
00:20:48.089 --> 00:20:53.069
get rid of it. And then adjust it and then project
00:20:53.069 --> 00:20:56.650
the positive version, project the increased ceiling,
00:20:56.710 --> 00:20:58.430
the increased performance of what you think they're
00:20:58.430 --> 00:21:03.009
capable of. And remember, belief isn't pretending.
00:21:03.130 --> 00:21:06.930
It's pairing expectation with honest feedback.
00:21:07.049 --> 00:21:09.349
Like we said earlier, remember, it has to be
00:21:09.349 --> 00:21:11.950
specific. It has to make sense to them to know
00:21:11.950 --> 00:21:16.490
why you think that they're capable and that.
00:21:17.769 --> 00:21:20.789
This cares for them personally and then challenges
00:21:20.789 --> 00:21:23.049
them directly because it's specific to them.
00:21:23.210 --> 00:21:26.130
So finally, here's something that you can take
00:21:26.130 --> 00:21:30.910
away from today. Expectation is a preloaded experience,
00:21:31.250 --> 00:21:35.109
so write a better preload. So here's your challenge
00:21:35.109 --> 00:21:38.309
today. Pick one script in your head right now
00:21:38.309 --> 00:21:40.410
and run through the belief framework like we
00:21:40.410 --> 00:21:43.619
talked about earlier. Try one of the seven -day
00:21:43.619 --> 00:21:47.339
experiments and prove to yourself how powerful
00:21:47.339 --> 00:21:50.539
this might be. I'll give you one more example
00:21:50.539 --> 00:21:53.200
for me personally that I think was super powerful
00:21:53.200 --> 00:21:57.240
that you may want to try. So for me, I said earlier
00:21:57.240 --> 00:22:00.960
that negative self -talk was a really big deal
00:22:00.960 --> 00:22:04.819
in my life. And I think honestly was what manifested
00:22:04.819 --> 00:22:10.079
things like bad luck and just a general disposition,
00:22:10.460 --> 00:22:15.119
lack of confidence in myself and the way I carried
00:22:15.119 --> 00:22:18.359
myself and the way I was projecting myself to
00:22:18.359 --> 00:22:20.920
the world and honestly affected how people perceived
00:22:20.920 --> 00:22:24.660
me. And so I recognized that that kind of language
00:22:24.660 --> 00:22:28.059
wasn't constructive. And so, but how do you get
00:22:28.059 --> 00:22:30.759
rid of negative self -talk? Because initially,
00:22:31.019 --> 00:22:35.420
yes, negative self -talk is like a degree of
00:22:35.420 --> 00:22:38.000
it is verbal. But there's a ton of it that's
00:22:38.000 --> 00:22:40.359
not. There's a ton of it that's in your head.
00:22:40.960 --> 00:22:44.299
And so it just, it was so overwhelming. I was
00:22:44.299 --> 00:22:46.079
like, I don't even know how to begin to tackle
00:22:46.079 --> 00:22:49.920
that. The way that worked for me, strangely enough,
00:22:50.059 --> 00:22:53.119
was I reverse engineered it. I decided to, I
00:22:53.119 --> 00:22:57.299
was like, listen, to attack negative self thoughts
00:22:57.299 --> 00:23:00.240
is way too overwhelming. There's thousands of
00:23:00.240 --> 00:23:01.880
them every day and I don't even know how to attack
00:23:01.880 --> 00:23:04.779
that. So I decided instead, let's start with.
00:23:05.039 --> 00:23:07.500
the things I say out loud. Now I recruited my
00:23:07.500 --> 00:23:10.680
friends to do this. And, you know, they always
00:23:10.680 --> 00:23:14.500
seem very eager to, to give you crap. So I said,
00:23:14.559 --> 00:23:17.019
Hey, if you hear me say anything negative about
00:23:17.019 --> 00:23:20.000
myself, you have permission to call me out. And
00:23:20.000 --> 00:23:24.319
they did. And so over time, I noticed I was I
00:23:24.319 --> 00:23:26.099
would catch myself like anytime I would make
00:23:26.099 --> 00:23:28.559
a mistake or drop something or do something stupid,
00:23:28.599 --> 00:23:32.519
I would get ready to say one of those token phrases.
00:23:33.119 --> 00:23:36.819
And I'd catch myself. Nope, not gonna say that.
00:23:36.920 --> 00:23:39.660
And so it worked. It started really catch, I
00:23:39.660 --> 00:23:42.940
started really being careful what I would say
00:23:42.940 --> 00:23:45.960
out loud. And like we said earlier, words do
00:23:45.960 --> 00:23:50.180
have a tremendous amount of power. But so do
00:23:50.180 --> 00:23:52.980
thoughts. But what I noticed was curious. As
00:23:52.980 --> 00:23:55.759
I was attacking the spoken word that I was saying
00:23:55.759 --> 00:24:01.049
out loud, I noticed that the the thoughts would
00:24:01.049 --> 00:24:06.369
be less and less and because it wasn't tidal
00:24:06.369 --> 00:24:09.930
waves anymore i was able to finally start taking
00:24:09.930 --> 00:24:12.849
those thoughts captive and saying hey no that's
00:24:12.849 --> 00:24:15.730
not true this is true and using one of those
00:24:15.730 --> 00:24:18.990
replacement phrases and throwing it out or giving
00:24:18.990 --> 00:24:21.970
it evidence this isn't true because and then
00:24:21.970 --> 00:24:26.710
giving it a reason uh why that wasn't true so
00:24:27.309 --> 00:24:29.430
That's something you can try if you want a super
00:24:29.430 --> 00:24:32.529
practical example. If you struggle with negative
00:24:32.529 --> 00:24:35.410
self -talk, kind of see if you can reverse engineer
00:24:35.410 --> 00:24:37.309
it. Let me know, reach out. I'd love to see how
00:24:37.309 --> 00:24:41.390
that turns out. Thanks for listening to the Optimizing
00:24:41.390 --> 00:24:44.910
Beyond podcast. Remember, growth happens when
00:24:44.910 --> 00:24:47.670
you take action. So subscribe, share this with
00:24:47.670 --> 00:24:50.390
a friend, and most importantly, put what you've
00:24:50.390 --> 00:24:54.210
learned into practice. Until next time, remember...
00:24:54.750 --> 00:24:56.930
Daily anything changes everything.
