WEBVTT
00:00:02.100 --> 00:00:05.179
Welcome to the Optimizing Beyond podcast. I'm
00:00:05.179 --> 00:00:07.400
Josh Negron, and this show is all about sharing
00:00:07.400 --> 00:00:11.119
lessons, ideas, and strategies that sharpen your
00:00:11.119 --> 00:00:13.960
thinking, strengthen your habits, and push you
00:00:13.960 --> 00:00:17.039
to grow beyond comfort zones. Let's dive in.
00:00:20.989 --> 00:00:23.750
Welcome back to the show. In today's episode,
00:00:23.850 --> 00:00:27.190
I'd like to cover rests from digital devices
00:00:27.190 --> 00:00:30.329
specifically, but maybe not exactly what you
00:00:30.329 --> 00:00:32.369
think. Let me ask you this. Have you ever had
00:00:32.369 --> 00:00:34.450
some time where you didn't have anything to do?
00:00:34.570 --> 00:00:37.369
You spent some time on your digital device only
00:00:37.369 --> 00:00:39.229
to feel like you didn't know where the time went
00:00:39.229 --> 00:00:41.509
and you found yourself right back in the hamster
00:00:41.509 --> 00:00:43.829
wheel? I know I felt that, so I can't be the
00:00:43.829 --> 00:00:46.130
only one. And throughout the first half of this
00:00:46.130 --> 00:00:48.869
year, my wife and I started feeling like we were
00:00:48.869 --> 00:00:52.090
always on. The interruptions themselves weren't
00:00:52.090 --> 00:00:54.729
the problem. It was more that we didn't have
00:00:54.729 --> 00:00:57.990
our own systems of pausing and stopping ourselves
00:00:57.990 --> 00:01:00.990
from just continuing to churn against the to
00:01:00.990 --> 00:01:03.119
-do list. It's different if you get everything
00:01:03.119 --> 00:01:05.819
you need done for the day and you can just shut
00:01:05.819 --> 00:01:08.400
it all off and wait till tomorrow or the beginning
00:01:08.400 --> 00:01:10.599
of next week. But there may come a time in your
00:01:10.599 --> 00:01:13.739
life where you have so much to do that you never
00:01:13.739 --> 00:01:16.420
quite get everything done. Now, if you're good
00:01:16.420 --> 00:01:18.859
at prioritizing and executing and things that
00:01:18.859 --> 00:01:21.599
we've discussed before, then most likely the
00:01:21.599 --> 00:01:23.620
least important things are working their way
00:01:23.620 --> 00:01:25.379
to the bottom of your list and never getting
00:01:25.379 --> 00:01:27.959
done. But that means when you have time and you're
00:01:27.959 --> 00:01:30.079
in the always -on mentality, that you're going
00:01:30.079 --> 00:01:32.739
to go into those lists and dig those things out
00:01:32.739 --> 00:01:34.739
and try to get them done. Now, don't get me wrong.
00:01:34.859 --> 00:01:37.019
I'm not saying that productivity is a bad thing.
00:01:37.099 --> 00:01:39.680
But being always -on is something that started
00:01:39.680 --> 00:01:41.799
grinding against us and we started realizing
00:01:41.799 --> 00:01:44.659
that. potentially we were being less productive
00:01:44.659 --> 00:01:47.859
by always being productive. So bottom line, we
00:01:47.859 --> 00:01:50.400
just recognize this pattern of not shutting off
00:01:50.400 --> 00:01:53.480
when even nothing was pressing. So very clearly,
00:01:53.540 --> 00:01:55.420
we're not talking about interruptions or things
00:01:55.420 --> 00:01:57.459
that come up that are emergencies or things that
00:01:57.459 --> 00:02:00.420
need your attention, but more the actual habit
00:02:00.420 --> 00:02:02.760
of never shutting off and always pressing. Now,
00:02:02.760 --> 00:02:04.640
what I found interesting was towards the middle
00:02:04.640 --> 00:02:06.640
of the year, actually, I both started noticing
00:02:06.640 --> 00:02:09.259
this separately, but coming to the same conclusion.
00:02:09.740 --> 00:02:11.520
We started having conversations and realizing
00:02:11.520 --> 00:02:14.300
that we were kind of in the same place, realizing
00:02:14.300 --> 00:02:17.219
that we were perpetually tired. We weren't finding
00:02:17.219 --> 00:02:20.460
time for rest or to do things that were enjoyable
00:02:20.460 --> 00:02:23.000
for ourselves individually and together. And
00:02:23.000 --> 00:02:24.919
I don't necessarily want to use the word burned
00:02:24.919 --> 00:02:27.520
out, but. We just didn't feel as sharp as we
00:02:27.520 --> 00:02:30.419
could be and that we expected to be. And so that
00:02:30.419 --> 00:02:32.699
got us down this rabbit hole that got us into
00:02:32.699 --> 00:02:35.360
thinking that maybe this is something that deserves
00:02:35.360 --> 00:02:37.960
more of our attention and intentionality. Now,
00:02:37.979 --> 00:02:40.080
what did this initial pattern look like? What
00:02:40.080 --> 00:02:42.539
did, quote, time off look like? And really what
00:02:42.539 --> 00:02:44.740
it turned into is anything that we were doing.
00:02:45.210 --> 00:02:47.389
We would constantly have our laptops open and
00:02:47.389 --> 00:02:49.949
we would be working on something. Now, listen,
00:02:50.069 --> 00:02:51.729
when you're an entrepreneur, that involves doing
00:02:51.729 --> 00:02:54.590
things at all hours of the day. And you hear
00:02:54.590 --> 00:02:56.810
a lot of successful people say, you got to grind,
00:02:56.889 --> 00:02:58.789
grind, grind, and you're not going to get there
00:02:58.789 --> 00:03:01.729
doing 40, 50 hour weeks. And all of those things
00:03:01.729 --> 00:03:05.030
are true. But when you've cut a lot of fat out
00:03:05.030 --> 00:03:07.069
of your schedule and you don't leave space for
00:03:07.069 --> 00:03:09.490
regular habitual fun, it can start to become
00:03:09.490 --> 00:03:11.610
a problem. And so there came a time a few months
00:03:11.610 --> 00:03:14.669
ago when we realized. that something needed to
00:03:14.669 --> 00:03:17.229
change. Now, it's no secret, if you're not new
00:03:17.229 --> 00:03:19.669
to this channel, you know that we are people
00:03:19.669 --> 00:03:22.289
of faith and we believe that rest and Sabbath
00:03:22.289 --> 00:03:24.530
are something that are commanded for us to do.
00:03:24.629 --> 00:03:26.370
And so that's something that's super important,
00:03:26.490 --> 00:03:30.289
but hard to do in practice. I know many Christians
00:03:30.289 --> 00:03:34.349
that their Sunday sometimes is rivaling the weekdays
00:03:34.349 --> 00:03:36.370
for the busiest day of the week. And that's just
00:03:36.370 --> 00:03:39.090
how it is sometimes. So maybe the moment of rest
00:03:39.090 --> 00:03:41.250
may not be a Sunday for some people. It could
00:03:41.250 --> 00:03:43.409
be a day off in the week. It could be a Saturday.
00:03:43.490 --> 00:03:45.030
So I don't think the day of the week necessarily
00:03:45.030 --> 00:03:49.030
matters. It's more the optimization of the regular
00:03:49.030 --> 00:03:52.330
pattern of resting and resting with intentionality.
00:03:52.750 --> 00:03:54.289
Because like we mentioned earlier, there's a
00:03:54.289 --> 00:03:56.110
lot of things stealing for your attention and
00:03:56.110 --> 00:03:59.289
not all of them are peaceful and restful for
00:03:59.289 --> 00:04:01.169
your heart, mind, and soul. And I think that's
00:04:01.169 --> 00:04:04.069
what a lot of books miss when they speak to this
00:04:04.069 --> 00:04:07.310
aspect. Because if you create empty space and
00:04:07.310 --> 00:04:09.590
you don't protect it, then it will inevitably
00:04:09.590 --> 00:04:12.069
be filled by something. And most of the time
00:04:12.069 --> 00:04:15.050
it's filled by some type of social media. And
00:04:15.050 --> 00:04:17.829
on average, long swaths of that kind of usage
00:04:17.829 --> 00:04:21.550
typically don't leave people feeling very rested
00:04:21.550 --> 00:04:23.589
and peaceful. There is plenty of research to
00:04:23.589 --> 00:04:25.870
back that up. And I think most of us have enough
00:04:25.870 --> 00:04:28.709
anecdotal data personally that we know that's
00:04:28.709 --> 00:04:30.490
true. So if you're coming at this from a religious
00:04:30.490 --> 00:04:33.110
perspective, then you're going to have some conviction
00:04:33.110 --> 00:04:35.670
involved here because if you are a workaholic
00:04:35.670 --> 00:04:38.490
or you're very performance focused, then this
00:04:38.490 --> 00:04:40.790
is going to be difficult for you to pump the
00:04:40.790 --> 00:04:44.970
brakes and in your perception do absolutely nothing
00:04:44.970 --> 00:04:48.050
and waste time is a lot of the language that
00:04:48.050 --> 00:04:50.769
your critical mind is going to be applying to
00:04:50.769 --> 00:04:52.610
that time. One of the things that kind of helped
00:04:52.610 --> 00:04:55.769
me awaken to some of this beyond the simple things
00:04:55.769 --> 00:04:58.850
that I've known for many years is reading in
00:04:58.850 --> 00:05:02.509
all sorts of books about scheduling fun and time
00:05:02.509 --> 00:05:05.689
blocks for simply non -productive time. And I
00:05:05.689 --> 00:05:07.509
thought that was such a foreign thing for me.
00:05:07.629 --> 00:05:09.810
In Brandon Thornhill's book, Elite Leadership
00:05:09.810 --> 00:05:12.329
Blueprint, there is an entire chapter that Brandon
00:05:12.329 --> 00:05:15.290
dedicates to scheduling daily fun, somewhere
00:05:15.290 --> 00:05:18.430
between 15 to 20 minutes a day, where... You
00:05:18.430 --> 00:05:20.610
do something that's fun for you, some kind of
00:05:20.610 --> 00:05:22.629
hobby, learning something that you're really
00:05:22.629 --> 00:05:25.149
into and enjoy that isn't productivity -based
00:05:25.149 --> 00:05:28.470
and is just purely for your enrichment, your
00:05:28.470 --> 00:05:31.189
enjoyment personally. And that is something that
00:05:31.189 --> 00:05:34.439
struck me. from someone who's a Navy SEAL, who's
00:05:34.439 --> 00:05:37.220
obviously a high -performance elite individual,
00:05:37.500 --> 00:05:40.160
that the importance of that is something that
00:05:40.160 --> 00:05:42.699
I at least definitely wasn't focusing on. And
00:05:42.699 --> 00:05:44.800
when I was much younger and much more irresponsible
00:05:44.800 --> 00:05:47.860
with my time, I would have massive blocks of
00:05:47.860 --> 00:05:50.259
unproductive time, and I didn't control that
00:05:50.259 --> 00:05:52.620
fun. So for someone to say you need to do it
00:05:52.620 --> 00:05:55.250
daily for a short period of time, was something
00:05:55.250 --> 00:05:57.209
that I'd never considered before. So that really
00:05:57.209 --> 00:05:59.170
got me thinking, maybe there is something to
00:05:59.170 --> 00:06:01.589
this. Maybe I can systematize it in a way. But
00:06:01.589 --> 00:06:04.129
like I said earlier, our phones don't make this
00:06:04.129 --> 00:06:07.790
easy. Our phones are an entire environment built
00:06:07.790 --> 00:06:10.980
around engagement. Notifications are everywhere.
00:06:11.120 --> 00:06:13.639
If you're OCD, those red bubbles drive you crazy.
00:06:13.779 --> 00:06:16.540
The notification banners are constantly going.
00:06:16.759 --> 00:06:20.579
And every app asks you permission to send these
00:06:20.579 --> 00:06:22.720
things to you. And then if you're not intentional
00:06:22.720 --> 00:06:25.879
about saying no to allowing those things, then
00:06:25.879 --> 00:06:28.839
they are going to constantly bombard you to be
00:06:28.839 --> 00:06:32.360
engaged in whatever app that is. Constant emails
00:06:32.360 --> 00:06:34.970
rolling in. text messages. I think we're all
00:06:34.970 --> 00:06:37.850
familiar with being inside of a social media
00:06:37.850 --> 00:06:40.470
app, addressing all of the notifications, getting
00:06:40.470 --> 00:06:43.290
out of the app, and there's still a red one.
00:06:43.589 --> 00:06:46.649
There's still a red badge. You go back in and
00:06:46.649 --> 00:06:49.569
there's something new just to keep you in. All
00:06:49.569 --> 00:06:52.709
of these things are an entire environment designed
00:06:52.709 --> 00:06:56.670
to keep you engaged and distracted. And so discipline
00:06:56.670 --> 00:07:00.310
is almost useless when you're in the wrong environment.
00:07:00.699 --> 00:07:03.720
And so what I found is that you got to get outside
00:07:03.720 --> 00:07:06.500
of that environment. And sometimes that means
00:07:06.500 --> 00:07:08.819
putting the phone down, putting do not disturb
00:07:08.819 --> 00:07:12.300
on, or just creating some sort of distance from
00:07:12.300 --> 00:07:14.660
that environment so that you can do what you
00:07:14.660 --> 00:07:16.939
want to do along the lines of what we're talking
00:07:16.939 --> 00:07:19.139
about. And when you can actually get some freedom
00:07:19.139 --> 00:07:21.980
and space from those kinds of distractions that
00:07:21.980 --> 00:07:25.019
are truly unproductive, then you can experience
00:07:25.019 --> 00:07:28.500
the mental rest and peace that is actually possible
00:07:28.500 --> 00:07:31.779
and has good utility to it. And then you start
00:07:31.779 --> 00:07:34.600
to realize that those kinds of activities are
00:07:34.600 --> 00:07:37.639
actually productive in their own right, even
00:07:37.639 --> 00:07:39.339
though at first you're worried that they are
00:07:39.339 --> 00:07:42.360
just as unproductive as doom scrolling. Now,
00:07:42.399 --> 00:07:45.180
along the lines of all high quality goal setting,
00:07:45.379 --> 00:07:48.300
saying a goal of I will do this more and I will
00:07:48.300 --> 00:07:51.500
do this less are typically highlighted as terrible
00:07:51.500 --> 00:07:54.600
goals. So a lot of people will say, well, I'll
00:07:54.600 --> 00:07:57.639
just pick up my phone less. And that's. just
00:07:57.639 --> 00:07:59.879
as useless because it'll never stick. There'll
00:07:59.879 --> 00:08:02.060
always be something else calling for your attention.
00:08:02.240 --> 00:08:04.379
Now we can get really granular here. We can talk
00:08:04.379 --> 00:08:06.680
about every time that you do get a notification,
00:08:06.720 --> 00:08:09.480
asking yourself the question, do I want to continue
00:08:09.480 --> 00:08:11.759
receiving notifications from this? You can swipe
00:08:11.759 --> 00:08:14.860
to the left and then put, turn the notifications
00:08:14.860 --> 00:08:17.279
off. You can do practical things like that. And
00:08:17.279 --> 00:08:19.970
those are things that I do. as well. But if you
00:08:19.970 --> 00:08:22.029
don't practice something like putting it in the
00:08:22.029 --> 00:08:25.009
other room or putting it on some sort of focus
00:08:25.009 --> 00:08:27.649
filter like Do Not Disturb or a custom one that
00:08:27.649 --> 00:08:29.569
you've built, where you can choose where the
00:08:29.569 --> 00:08:32.009
notifications get through and which ones don't.
00:08:32.009 --> 00:08:33.509
There's a lot of things that you can customize
00:08:33.509 --> 00:08:37.070
in that regard to create this new environment
00:08:37.070 --> 00:08:40.070
of rest and relaxation. And there is plenty of
00:08:40.070 --> 00:08:43.570
research to back up that there is serious consequences
00:08:43.570 --> 00:08:46.409
of never mentally shutting off. And we don't
00:08:46.409 --> 00:08:48.590
need the research because we all know, I think
00:08:48.590 --> 00:08:51.149
by experience and intuition, that this is true.
00:08:51.309 --> 00:08:53.850
When you run 90 miles an hour all the time, at
00:08:53.850 --> 00:08:56.149
some point you're going to hit a wall. And if
00:08:56.149 --> 00:08:58.090
you're that type of person, you've hit that wall
00:08:58.090 --> 00:09:00.309
multiple times. You know what that feels like
00:09:00.309 --> 00:09:02.950
and it goes in cycles for you, which is probably
00:09:02.950 --> 00:09:05.309
why you're very familiar with this pattern. Now,
00:09:05.309 --> 00:09:07.110
what does this look like and what does this not
00:09:07.110 --> 00:09:09.110
look like? You know, I mentioned earlier that
00:09:09.110 --> 00:09:11.440
this is not... something that I had been doing
00:09:11.440 --> 00:09:13.580
in an extremely structured way for a very long
00:09:13.580 --> 00:09:15.919
time. So Ashley and I are still figuring a lot
00:09:15.919 --> 00:09:17.899
of these components out, but I can definitely
00:09:17.899 --> 00:09:20.570
tell you this. extremely valuable to explore.
00:09:20.769 --> 00:09:22.389
And one of the things that was the most powerful
00:09:22.389 --> 00:09:25.149
was kind of being on the same page with your
00:09:25.149 --> 00:09:28.690
spouse on this. So if it's just one -sided, if
00:09:28.690 --> 00:09:31.769
only one person is pursuing this, then you can
00:09:31.769 --> 00:09:34.690
really feel pulled in different directions, especially
00:09:34.690 --> 00:09:36.789
if you're home at the same time. Now, if you
00:09:36.789 --> 00:09:39.169
get a day off by yourself or you're not with
00:09:39.169 --> 00:09:41.409
your spouse, then you could still have the space
00:09:41.409 --> 00:09:45.529
to do this without inconveniencing them or clashing
00:09:45.529 --> 00:09:47.870
with maybe their desire to get things done when
00:09:47.870 --> 00:09:51.129
you might be in a rest mindset of kicking back
00:09:51.129 --> 00:09:53.450
and doing some fun. So getting together and having
00:09:53.450 --> 00:09:56.230
conversations around this does have a lot of
00:09:56.230 --> 00:09:58.470
value. Like I mentioned earlier, it was great
00:09:58.470 --> 00:10:00.870
that we were both kind of realizing that this
00:10:00.870 --> 00:10:03.470
was causing some deficiencies on both of our
00:10:03.470 --> 00:10:06.350
ends. And we were realizing separately that this
00:10:06.350 --> 00:10:08.350
is something that maybe we should work together
00:10:08.350 --> 00:10:11.269
on prioritizing. So when we started communicating
00:10:11.269 --> 00:10:13.750
about it, it was actually kind of humorous that
00:10:13.750 --> 00:10:16.610
we were both having the same feeling and realizing
00:10:16.610 --> 00:10:18.500
that. We had something to figure out together.
00:10:18.679 --> 00:10:20.940
Now, you may be thinking, are you saying like
00:10:20.940 --> 00:10:23.600
this needs to be a full digital detox, like no
00:10:23.600 --> 00:10:26.299
phone, putting in a Faraday bag, whatever? No,
00:10:26.340 --> 00:10:27.879
that's not what I'm saying. We still have our
00:10:27.879 --> 00:10:30.580
phones. We still handle interruptions. And that's
00:10:30.580 --> 00:10:33.240
just a reality at the moment. However, there
00:10:33.240 --> 00:10:36.159
is an intentionality behind scheduling blocks
00:10:36.159 --> 00:10:39.080
and spaces where you do some fun stuff. You do
00:10:39.080 --> 00:10:41.720
things that you want to do that create that space
00:10:41.720 --> 00:10:43.500
and that buffer. Now, if you're somebody that
00:10:43.500 --> 00:10:45.399
has a lot of care for people or has a lot of
00:10:45.399 --> 00:10:47.679
responsibilities to people, then you may ask
00:10:47.679 --> 00:10:49.679
yourself, well, what if somebody needs me? That
00:10:49.679 --> 00:10:52.519
doesn't seem like a sustainable, healthy thing.
00:10:53.029 --> 00:10:55.590
where I just ignore everybody for 24 hours. And
00:10:55.590 --> 00:10:57.409
while you do have a point, I do want to push
00:10:57.409 --> 00:11:00.070
back just a little bit in that there is a balance
00:11:00.070 --> 00:11:03.269
of how much access you allow people to have in
00:11:03.269 --> 00:11:06.370
your life. And it also matters what type of communication
00:11:06.370 --> 00:11:10.230
they are using for you as well. So a text message
00:11:10.230 --> 00:11:13.250
is typically seen as less urgent than a phone
00:11:13.250 --> 00:11:16.250
call. If someone means for a text to be extremely
00:11:16.250 --> 00:11:19.509
urgent and demands an immediate answer, then
00:11:19.509 --> 00:11:23.730
they might have a misconception around generally
00:11:23.730 --> 00:11:26.490
accepted communication styles. So if something
00:11:26.490 --> 00:11:29.509
is an extreme emergency, the phone call would
00:11:29.509 --> 00:11:32.570
be the most appropriate option in that case.
00:11:32.769 --> 00:11:35.070
If you're in the other room, you may not hear
00:11:35.070 --> 00:11:37.649
a text message, but the likelihood of you hearing
00:11:37.649 --> 00:11:40.250
a phone call are much higher, and everybody knows
00:11:40.250 --> 00:11:43.350
that. So that's why a phone call is used for
00:11:43.350 --> 00:11:45.570
things that are very urgent and text messages
00:11:45.570 --> 00:11:48.610
aren't. So that doesn't demand an instant answer.
00:11:48.769 --> 00:11:51.389
Now, I've been in the reverse scenario. I have
00:11:51.389 --> 00:11:53.490
texted someone something I needed an answer to
00:11:53.490 --> 00:11:55.830
immediately and I didn't get an answer immediately
00:11:55.830 --> 00:11:59.149
and I found myself frustrated. And then I have
00:11:59.149 --> 00:12:02.309
to look inward and ask myself, okay, did I choose
00:12:02.309 --> 00:12:05.330
the right way to communicate this? The answer
00:12:05.330 --> 00:12:08.629
is no, so can't control them. realize that I'm
00:12:08.629 --> 00:12:11.149
the problem and I should have called. So I have
00:12:11.149 --> 00:12:13.230
a choice to make there. Make the phone call or
00:12:13.230 --> 00:12:15.529
let it go. So same thing here. So that doesn't
00:12:15.529 --> 00:12:17.970
mean that you don't let anyone have any access
00:12:17.970 --> 00:12:20.350
to you in that time period. I don't think that's
00:12:20.350 --> 00:12:22.710
realistic, specifically if you're someone who's
00:12:22.710 --> 00:12:24.649
responsible for a lot of things. But that being
00:12:24.649 --> 00:12:26.590
said, there is a difference between a text message
00:12:26.590 --> 00:12:29.929
and a phone call and what you have to address
00:12:29.929 --> 00:12:32.929
immediately versus something that can wait till
00:12:32.929 --> 00:12:36.029
tomorrow, or at least until your scheduled block
00:12:36.029 --> 00:12:38.320
is over. So let's cover the framework. What does
00:12:38.320 --> 00:12:41.299
this actually look like in practice? So step
00:12:41.299 --> 00:12:44.179
one is you have to be on the same page with your
00:12:44.179 --> 00:12:46.679
spouse. Certainly it definitely helps unless
00:12:46.679 --> 00:12:48.879
you have a day off separately and you're not
00:12:48.879 --> 00:12:51.100
going to be disrupting them with this plan. And
00:12:51.100 --> 00:12:53.080
I will tell you the degree of success went up
00:12:53.080 --> 00:12:55.320
dramatically when her and I were on the same
00:12:55.320 --> 00:12:57.799
page. Next is going to be picking your time frames
00:12:57.799 --> 00:13:00.460
together. Now it doesn't have to be a full 24
00:13:00.460 --> 00:13:04.129
hour block. It can be a small. two to four hour
00:13:04.129 --> 00:13:06.730
blocks starting out. If this is foreign and new
00:13:06.730 --> 00:13:09.429
to you, then in my experience, those smaller
00:13:09.429 --> 00:13:11.769
timeframes are actually helpful to getting your
00:13:11.769 --> 00:13:14.769
feet wet and starting the discipline, which matches
00:13:14.769 --> 00:13:16.909
what we talk about on here. Sometimes it's not
00:13:16.909 --> 00:13:19.389
the most practical thing to cut out all desserts
00:13:19.389 --> 00:13:22.509
and eat perfect forevermore. That is just not
00:13:22.509 --> 00:13:25.350
the most practical step. And I also say schedule
00:13:25.350 --> 00:13:28.250
it ahead of time because sometimes it's not going
00:13:28.250 --> 00:13:31.789
to be easy to have it be the same day, same time,
00:13:31.789 --> 00:13:34.370
every time. That's just a reality of schedules.
00:13:34.570 --> 00:13:37.289
And so having the flexibility to be able to move
00:13:37.289 --> 00:13:39.690
it, to be able to choose a different day if necessary,
00:13:39.970 --> 00:13:43.269
has a lot of value. So her and I will communicate.
00:13:43.490 --> 00:13:45.990
If one day gets wrecked, then we have some other
00:13:45.990 --> 00:13:48.549
days as backups. And if something's immovable.
00:13:49.019 --> 00:13:50.960
then there's communication that's necessary to
00:13:50.960 --> 00:13:53.519
do so. And that leads me into the next step in
00:13:53.519 --> 00:13:56.000
that you have to do some intentional prep work
00:13:56.000 --> 00:13:58.799
in how you're organizing this and also do some
00:13:58.799 --> 00:14:00.799
communication with the people closest to you
00:14:00.799 --> 00:14:02.399
on what you're doing. So with those specific
00:14:02.399 --> 00:14:05.090
people, you might say, hey, if you need me. I
00:14:05.090 --> 00:14:07.309
may not be around my phone as much tomorrow,
00:14:07.450 --> 00:14:10.149
so if you need something, please call. Or letting
00:14:10.149 --> 00:14:12.169
them know if you're using Do Not Disturb, like,
00:14:12.169 --> 00:14:14.210
hey, if you need something, call twice in a row.
00:14:14.490 --> 00:14:16.769
I may not get back to your text right away, just
00:14:16.769 --> 00:14:19.110
so you know. These kinds of communications are
00:14:19.110 --> 00:14:21.730
not rude. They're kind. They're clear because
00:14:21.730 --> 00:14:23.269
you're letting them know, hey, I'm going to be
00:14:23.269 --> 00:14:24.809
doing something tomorrow. If you need something,
00:14:24.809 --> 00:14:26.750
let me know. I'm not unavailable, but I just
00:14:26.750 --> 00:14:28.690
want to give you the context behind it. And it's
00:14:28.690 --> 00:14:30.990
just key to letting people know what they couldn't
00:14:30.990 --> 00:14:33.570
possibly know otherwise unless you told them.
00:14:33.629 --> 00:14:35.429
I think this is the best practice because if
00:14:35.429 --> 00:14:38.029
you just go all ghost mode, then the likelihood
00:14:38.029 --> 00:14:41.269
of you being interrupted is higher, especially
00:14:41.269 --> 00:14:44.090
if you're still in close proximity to your devices.
00:14:44.309 --> 00:14:46.570
So do some communication on the relationships
00:14:46.570 --> 00:14:49.230
that matter most. That way they're aware and
00:14:49.230 --> 00:14:51.769
can adjust accordingly as well. Now for my leaders
00:14:51.769 --> 00:14:54.200
out there, this is even more important. This
00:14:54.200 --> 00:14:56.860
is going to be a test of your leadership. If
00:14:56.860 --> 00:15:00.059
you find out that your team cannot survive the
00:15:00.059 --> 00:15:02.480
day without you, that is a reflection on your
00:15:02.480 --> 00:15:05.500
leadership and your inability to delegate and
00:15:05.500 --> 00:15:08.240
to be the best leader you can possibly be. You
00:15:08.240 --> 00:15:11.399
are the bottleneck and that is your responsibility
00:15:11.399 --> 00:15:14.100
to remedy and that can have so many different
00:15:14.100 --> 00:15:16.419
reasons. So make sure they're equipped, make
00:15:16.419 --> 00:15:18.779
sure they have the resources and the people necessary
00:15:18.779 --> 00:15:21.740
to support them in their role without your presence
00:15:21.740 --> 00:15:24.049
always being necessary. So if that means they
00:15:24.049 --> 00:15:27.149
need a handbook, an SOP, some policies to look
00:15:27.149 --> 00:15:29.850
at, or just other people as resources that they
00:15:29.850 --> 00:15:32.610
can contact or go to for help without always
00:15:32.610 --> 00:15:35.190
going directly to you. And if you have these
00:15:35.190 --> 00:15:38.009
resources or you have supplied them, and they
00:15:38.009 --> 00:15:40.509
still contact you with non -emergencies anyway
00:15:40.509 --> 00:15:43.210
that have answers that can easily be accessed
00:15:43.210 --> 00:15:45.929
by those resources, it is your responsibility
00:15:45.929 --> 00:15:49.970
to kindly ask them if they have consulted those
00:15:49.970 --> 00:15:52.950
resources. And that sends a very easy, subtle
00:15:52.950 --> 00:15:56.090
message, but direct message that they need to
00:15:56.090 --> 00:15:58.950
check those first before getting the easy answer
00:15:58.950 --> 00:16:01.710
by just calling you or texting you what they've
00:16:01.710 --> 00:16:03.669
got going on. Just make sure you're not being
00:16:03.669 --> 00:16:05.950
sarcastic or passive -aggressive when they're
00:16:05.950 --> 00:16:08.340
calling you. I've definitely experienced that
00:16:08.340 --> 00:16:11.039
type of leadership before and it does not make
00:16:11.039 --> 00:16:13.500
you feel good at all from an employee perspective.
00:16:14.039 --> 00:16:16.980
So bottom line is, if people keep asking, ask
00:16:16.980 --> 00:16:19.179
yourself why. So what does that look like when
00:16:19.179 --> 00:16:21.879
I get towards the end of my week? If I'm prepping
00:16:21.879 --> 00:16:24.419
for this, I'm looking at the end of my week,
00:16:24.460 --> 00:16:26.740
making sure that I've buttoned up as many things
00:16:26.740 --> 00:16:29.179
as I possibly could. And sometimes that helps
00:16:29.179 --> 00:16:31.860
me prioritize and execute particular things because
00:16:31.860 --> 00:16:33.580
if there's something that I'm working on that
00:16:33.580 --> 00:16:35.740
doesn't need to be done until the following week,
00:16:36.169 --> 00:16:38.110
but there is something on my list that needs
00:16:38.110 --> 00:16:41.090
done by that Friday, Saturday, or Sunday, then
00:16:41.090 --> 00:16:43.049
I need to make some shifts to make sure that
00:16:43.049 --> 00:16:45.269
I can button that up and get it done so that
00:16:45.269 --> 00:16:47.750
it does not become a problem and I'm stuck against
00:16:47.750 --> 00:16:50.769
a wall on a day or time that I don't necessarily
00:16:50.769 --> 00:16:53.250
want to be, which is tough. I'm a person who
00:16:53.250 --> 00:16:55.350
likes to finish what I start. I don't like to
00:16:55.350 --> 00:16:57.730
switch tasks because it is truly inefficient.
00:16:58.009 --> 00:17:00.909
And there's just that slight OCD that I like
00:17:00.909 --> 00:17:03.779
to finish what I start. And so it's... Sometimes
00:17:03.779 --> 00:17:06.880
kind of tough to pivot into something else. But
00:17:06.880 --> 00:17:09.400
when you recognize, hey, I know I'm in the groove.
00:17:09.519 --> 00:17:11.279
I know I'm crushing this right now, but this
00:17:11.279 --> 00:17:14.740
is not either very high priority or it is not
00:17:14.740 --> 00:17:17.940
due for a while. I probably need to go and eat
00:17:17.940 --> 00:17:21.420
the frog on something else that is due that probably
00:17:21.420 --> 00:17:23.829
I don't want to do. Those kinds of things are
00:17:23.829 --> 00:17:25.569
really important to reflect on, especially when
00:17:25.569 --> 00:17:27.049
you get towards the end of the week. Something
00:17:27.049 --> 00:17:29.190
also that helps me is looking at the beginning
00:17:29.190 --> 00:17:32.009
of the following week. So sometimes if something
00:17:32.009 --> 00:17:35.230
big is due on Monday or Tuesday, I want to at
00:17:35.230 --> 00:17:37.250
least look at it to make sure that there's not
00:17:37.250 --> 00:17:39.509
any prep work I need to do towards the end of
00:17:39.509 --> 00:17:42.210
this week. to kind of help set me up for that
00:17:42.210 --> 00:17:44.809
following week's task load in the beginning of
00:17:44.809 --> 00:17:47.150
the week. So pay attention to that to make sure
00:17:47.150 --> 00:17:49.170
nothing sneaks up on you because then you'll
00:17:49.170 --> 00:17:52.930
feel some kind of way around the rest that you
00:17:52.930 --> 00:17:55.089
took during the weekend and be like, man, I put
00:17:55.089 --> 00:17:58.000
myself in a tough spot. you might be tempted
00:17:58.000 --> 00:18:00.740
to blame the rest when technically it's the lack
00:18:00.740 --> 00:18:03.539
of preparation on the week before. So that's
00:18:03.539 --> 00:18:06.599
another easy way to mitigate that problem as
00:18:06.599 --> 00:18:08.839
well, just to make sure nothing sneaks up on
00:18:08.839 --> 00:18:11.119
you. Now, this definitely in practice doesn't
00:18:11.119 --> 00:18:13.769
always work out that way, and that's why... I
00:18:13.769 --> 00:18:16.130
covered earlier about being flexible because
00:18:16.130 --> 00:18:18.789
sometimes something sneaks by and I end up having
00:18:18.789 --> 00:18:21.869
to address it into one of those rest days. And
00:18:21.869 --> 00:18:24.190
so if I have another day that I can flip that
00:18:24.190 --> 00:18:27.109
to, then that is, again, where the flexibility
00:18:27.109 --> 00:18:30.609
comes in handy. So how do we fill that day, that
00:18:30.609 --> 00:18:34.250
time? Because nature abhors a vacuum, as they
00:18:34.250 --> 00:18:37.549
say. And that's a cliche because it's true. If
00:18:37.549 --> 00:18:40.349
you leave it empty, it will be filled, and your
00:18:40.349 --> 00:18:43.529
phone is more than willing to fill it with useless
00:18:43.529 --> 00:18:46.630
items. What's funny is I used to be a massive
00:18:46.630 --> 00:18:49.450
procrastinator when I was young. In fact, I found
00:18:49.450 --> 00:18:52.309
myself in academic probation in college because
00:18:52.309 --> 00:18:54.450
my grades were slipping because I wasn't getting
00:18:54.450 --> 00:18:57.430
things done. And the professor in charge of that,
00:18:57.509 --> 00:19:00.670
he's a guy that knows who he is and really showed
00:19:00.670 --> 00:19:04.130
me some eye -opening details about my procrastination
00:19:04.130 --> 00:19:07.630
that stuck with me for all these years. Now,
00:19:07.670 --> 00:19:10.069
part of it was classic time management, that
00:19:10.069 --> 00:19:12.470
you don't manage your time well enough and by
00:19:12.470 --> 00:19:14.549
the time that you do all the fun stuff that you
00:19:14.549 --> 00:19:16.529
wanna do and you realize you have to do what
00:19:16.529 --> 00:19:18.450
you have to do, there's not enough time left
00:19:18.450 --> 00:19:22.130
and the time passes and you're SOL. That is definitely
00:19:22.130 --> 00:19:24.630
true. And that is the point here. Now, I also
00:19:24.630 --> 00:19:26.619
- mentioned that I have perfectionistic tendencies
00:19:26.619 --> 00:19:28.859
that I wasn't aware of at the time. And he's
00:19:28.859 --> 00:19:30.359
like, you want to do such a good job that once
00:19:30.359 --> 00:19:32.619
you realize that you can't do the best job, then
00:19:32.619 --> 00:19:34.619
you kind of sabotage it or don't do it at all
00:19:34.619 --> 00:19:36.319
and you give up. That's an entirely different
00:19:36.319 --> 00:19:39.519
matter for a different episode. But here, the
00:19:39.519 --> 00:19:43.279
point was that I put all my fun front -loaded
00:19:43.279 --> 00:19:44.920
in the beginning and then didn't have enough
00:19:44.920 --> 00:19:47.359
time for the responsible items that were needed
00:19:47.359 --> 00:19:49.619
to be done, and that was all on me. So I learned
00:19:49.619 --> 00:19:52.400
to reverse that pattern and make sure to get
00:19:52.400 --> 00:19:54.779
the things done that needed to be done first,
00:19:54.940 --> 00:19:57.180
and then I could reward myself with some free
00:19:57.180 --> 00:19:59.740
time or fun time afterwards, which is great.
00:20:00.089 --> 00:20:01.670
What starts to get a little tricky is when you
00:20:01.670 --> 00:20:03.910
get to a point in life where you have enough
00:20:03.910 --> 00:20:07.109
going on that you can constantly fill the responsibility
00:20:07.109 --> 00:20:10.289
bucket, and then you may realize that that bucket
00:20:10.289 --> 00:20:12.849
may not run out. And because you've saved the
00:20:12.849 --> 00:20:15.789
fun or the rest till the end, you may not get
00:20:15.789 --> 00:20:18.329
to the end. And that happens more and more, and
00:20:18.329 --> 00:20:20.470
you start realizing this is not sustainable.
00:20:21.049 --> 00:20:22.769
And you're using good principles, like from the
00:20:22.769 --> 00:20:24.849
book Atomic Habits, you're doing habit stacking,
00:20:25.029 --> 00:20:26.970
you're like, hey, I'm not gonna do what I wanna
00:20:26.970 --> 00:20:29.049
do until I'm done with what I have to do, which
00:20:29.049 --> 00:20:31.849
is great. But sometimes if you front load it
00:20:31.849 --> 00:20:34.089
so much, then the same thing that happened to
00:20:34.089 --> 00:20:36.869
me in college happens in reverse. You procrastinate
00:20:36.869 --> 00:20:39.670
the fun and the rest that also needs to happen
00:20:39.670 --> 00:20:43.150
in proper limits, naturally. But what I'm saying
00:20:43.150 --> 00:20:46.210
is, you find yourself not doing it more and more,
00:20:46.349 --> 00:20:48.799
and that starts to become a problem. Like I said,
00:20:48.819 --> 00:20:51.059
you can experience mental fatigue and all sorts
00:20:51.059 --> 00:20:53.740
of issues that can be avoided if you're engaging
00:20:53.740 --> 00:20:55.920
in this regularly. So this is where you could
00:20:55.920 --> 00:20:59.400
start to consider maybe doing a smaller reward
00:20:59.400 --> 00:21:02.279
or smaller time domain when you get a shorter
00:21:02.279 --> 00:21:04.900
series of things done instead of saving it all
00:21:04.900 --> 00:21:06.779
to the end. I know that that started to help
00:21:06.779 --> 00:21:09.619
me, particularly in reference to Brandon's book
00:21:09.619 --> 00:21:12.319
where he says, you know, schedule 15 to 20 minutes
00:21:12.319 --> 00:21:14.940
of fun. I can start to kind of. pivot that fun
00:21:14.940 --> 00:21:17.400
after specific tasks that I want to get done,
00:21:17.460 --> 00:21:20.779
but not always leaving it until the end has been
00:21:20.779 --> 00:21:24.119
the way to make sure to actually accomplish that
00:21:24.119 --> 00:21:26.400
goal. Now, like I said earlier, it doesn't always
00:21:26.400 --> 00:21:30.279
have to start out as a 24 -hour rest day. You
00:21:30.279 --> 00:21:32.559
can start with smaller blocks, like two to four
00:21:32.559 --> 00:21:35.200
-hour blocks. The easiest ones are to just start
00:21:35.200 --> 00:21:37.660
a date night where you refresh with your spouse.
00:21:38.200 --> 00:21:40.240
or maybe some other very close friends where
00:21:40.240 --> 00:21:41.779
you're not doing anything productive and you're
00:21:41.779 --> 00:21:44.559
just hanging out. Those are times where it's
00:21:44.559 --> 00:21:47.259
more socially appropriate to have your phone
00:21:47.259 --> 00:21:49.920
down anyway and not be engaged in that. So it
00:21:49.920 --> 00:21:53.160
kind of builds in that habit from the get -go
00:21:53.160 --> 00:21:55.759
and it can be very refreshing. And as you start
00:21:55.759 --> 00:21:57.440
building that habit, you can start to reverse
00:21:57.440 --> 00:21:59.960
engineer that at home. And I can say at home,
00:22:00.000 --> 00:22:03.200
it is more difficult because there is nothing
00:22:03.200 --> 00:22:05.440
keeping you from constantly being on your phone
00:22:05.440 --> 00:22:07.839
or constantly being on your laptop working. At
00:22:07.839 --> 00:22:10.079
least for me, which is strange because at home
00:22:10.079 --> 00:22:12.299
you think it would be easier to rest. But for
00:22:12.299 --> 00:22:14.440
me, it's not always true. Now, you may be saying,
00:22:14.599 --> 00:22:16.599
well, my business can't survive without me. So
00:22:16.599 --> 00:22:18.700
this all sounds great, but it's just not reality.
00:22:19.000 --> 00:22:21.140
Like I said earlier, I would ask you to look
00:22:21.140 --> 00:22:23.039
at your leadership, look at your organization
00:22:23.039 --> 00:22:25.619
and the way you set it up. Now, sometimes it's
00:22:25.619 --> 00:22:28.500
early in the infancy of a small business and
00:22:28.500 --> 00:22:30.359
you're just wearing a lot of hats and that's
00:22:30.359 --> 00:22:33.519
just the reality of it. And that is a short season,
00:22:33.599 --> 00:22:36.109
a sprint, if you will. where you just need to
00:22:36.109 --> 00:22:38.009
get things done until you reach a new level.
00:22:38.089 --> 00:22:40.730
But if this is year five or year 10 of this,
00:22:40.869 --> 00:22:43.130
then I'm going to push back and say that this
00:22:43.130 --> 00:22:45.970
is more of a reflection on you than it is what
00:22:45.970 --> 00:22:48.349
actually needs to happen. This is what you've
00:22:48.349 --> 00:22:50.180
allowed to happen, and that's different. Now,
00:22:50.180 --> 00:22:52.279
I also want to caution you against the interruption
00:22:52.279 --> 00:22:54.160
spiral. Now, I said at the very beginning, very
00:22:54.160 --> 00:22:56.440
intentionally, that interruptions are not something
00:22:56.440 --> 00:22:58.920
that I count here because if someone needs something
00:22:58.920 --> 00:23:01.980
and it is truly something that needs my attention,
00:23:02.039 --> 00:23:04.039
an emergency or something like that, if you will,
00:23:04.160 --> 00:23:06.779
then I'm going to give that the space that it
00:23:06.779 --> 00:23:08.819
deserves and that it needs. That being said,
00:23:08.900 --> 00:23:12.059
though, the trap is, well, while I'm already
00:23:12.059 --> 00:23:15.130
here, let's blah, blah, blah. And that is a very
00:23:15.130 --> 00:23:18.289
easy trap to fall into. Once you're in that mode,
00:23:18.410 --> 00:23:20.809
the mind is gonna potentially have a trouble
00:23:20.809 --> 00:23:23.210
switching back. And so you really need to evaluate,
00:23:23.410 --> 00:23:27.069
okay, am I activating the flexibility consciously
00:23:27.069 --> 00:23:29.690
and deciding, well, I'm already here, let's just
00:23:29.690 --> 00:23:32.309
work it out. And even after you solve the emergency
00:23:32.309 --> 00:23:34.329
or the problem that came into your attention,
00:23:34.670 --> 00:23:37.369
do you continue working? Make that choice consciously
00:23:37.369 --> 00:23:40.609
and shift the rest to another day and communicate
00:23:40.609 --> 00:23:43.519
that. If not, find a way to pivot out of it.
00:23:43.559 --> 00:23:45.279
Otherwise, you're gonna get stuck, you're gonna
00:23:45.279 --> 00:23:48.119
get trapped, and you are not going to rest. The
00:23:48.119 --> 00:23:49.599
last thing that I see a lot of people object
00:23:49.599 --> 00:23:52.700
with is they feel the guilt to be productive,
00:23:53.039 --> 00:23:55.579
whether it's that your business partner is working
00:23:55.579 --> 00:23:57.259
harder than you and you feel like you have to
00:23:57.259 --> 00:23:59.279
bring more to the table, whether that's real
00:23:59.279 --> 00:24:02.519
or perceived or both. And I find that guilt is
00:24:02.519 --> 00:24:06.140
a very poor type of fuel, like we've talked in
00:24:06.140 --> 00:24:08.940
previous episodes, similar to things like anger
00:24:08.940 --> 00:24:11.359
and frustration. They can sometimes be useful,
00:24:11.430 --> 00:24:14.069
fuel to get you to do certain things that are
00:24:14.069 --> 00:24:17.190
things you should do, but aren't always the best
00:24:17.190 --> 00:24:20.710
fuel and resources to get you there long term
00:24:20.710 --> 00:24:23.150
and arguably not very sustainable either. The
00:24:23.150 --> 00:24:25.509
reason why I mention this is guilt has driven
00:24:25.509 --> 00:24:27.750
a lot of my productivity throughout my life,
00:24:27.809 --> 00:24:30.289
especially as an entrepreneur. And as a result,
00:24:30.349 --> 00:24:32.769
that just leads to doing more and more and more,
00:24:32.890 --> 00:24:35.730
giving up more hobbies, more fun things. And
00:24:35.730 --> 00:24:38.750
I will tell you at the end of it, it wasn't worth
00:24:38.750 --> 00:24:41.470
it. And so now I find myself in this place where
00:24:41.470 --> 00:24:45.009
I'm trying to intentionally introduce appropriate
00:24:45.009 --> 00:24:50.309
levels of fun and space for rest back into the
00:24:50.309 --> 00:24:53.130
recipe. So if any of that sounds familiar to
00:24:53.130 --> 00:24:54.990
you and you're cutting things out to be more
00:24:54.990 --> 00:24:56.970
productive, I understand what you're doing. And
00:24:56.970 --> 00:24:58.609
I would ask you, just look at that, see what
00:24:58.609 --> 00:25:01.750
you're cutting out, see if you are still allowing
00:25:01.750 --> 00:25:04.529
yourself rest and fun in your life. And if you
00:25:04.529 --> 00:25:07.470
are, awesome. If you're headed down the path
00:25:07.470 --> 00:25:09.930
like I was, where you were cutting all of that
00:25:09.930 --> 00:25:12.509
out on a regular basis, then let's take a look
00:25:12.509 --> 00:25:15.710
at that and see if there needs to be some massaging
00:25:15.710 --> 00:25:17.829
and some intentionality worked back in. Now,
00:25:17.829 --> 00:25:20.009
the big question, is this really worth it? Do
00:25:20.009 --> 00:25:23.269
I feel like it works? Yes, I certainly do. I
00:25:23.269 --> 00:25:25.690
definitely do think we are more productive the
00:25:25.690 --> 00:25:28.549
remaining six days of the week than when we just
00:25:28.549 --> 00:25:31.250
hustle through all seven and start the rat race
00:25:31.250 --> 00:25:34.450
over again, feeling more and more worn out. I
00:25:34.450 --> 00:25:36.349
can't explain it. And through the lens of my
00:25:36.349 --> 00:25:38.450
faith, I feel like that's the only way I can
00:25:38.450 --> 00:25:40.349
explain it. If you want to ignore that side,
00:25:40.509 --> 00:25:43.130
that's fine. Just trust me that it works. And
00:25:43.130 --> 00:25:45.329
if you do that, then you'll reap the benefits
00:25:45.329 --> 00:25:47.369
anyway. I see it as a win -win, to be honest.
00:25:47.529 --> 00:25:50.410
Now, because we build in the flexibility and
00:25:50.410 --> 00:25:53.430
some of it lacks structure because it has the
00:25:53.430 --> 00:25:56.450
space for flexibility and the room for interruptions,
00:25:56.470 --> 00:25:59.890
sometimes it works out great. Sometimes it needs
00:25:59.890 --> 00:26:01.990
to be adjusted. And sometimes it just doesn't
00:26:01.990 --> 00:26:04.339
work. So I'll be honest with you on that. It's
00:26:04.339 --> 00:26:06.619
constantly evolving and constantly optimizing.
00:26:06.960 --> 00:26:08.859
But that's why I wanted to share this with you
00:26:08.859 --> 00:26:10.880
because I know it works. I know it has value.
00:26:11.140 --> 00:26:13.640
And I want to give you some concrete ways to
00:26:13.640 --> 00:26:16.460
look at your life and see how you can apply this,
00:26:16.619 --> 00:26:19.680
show you how it worked for me, and give you honest
00:26:19.680 --> 00:26:21.579
reflections on some of the things that we're
00:26:21.579 --> 00:26:24.099
still working out. But I would still, at this
00:26:24.099 --> 00:26:27.019
stage, I still love to have the flexibility and
00:26:27.019 --> 00:26:28.960
the ways to kind of move things around because
00:26:28.960 --> 00:26:31.380
I never know what's coming and what interruptions
00:26:31.380 --> 00:26:33.410
are going to happen. If you don't have that kind
00:26:33.410 --> 00:26:35.329
of structure where you need to worry about those
00:26:35.329 --> 00:26:38.750
interruptions, then you can probably easily schedule,
00:26:38.950 --> 00:26:41.589
more easily schedule something concrete and not
00:26:41.589 --> 00:26:43.750
have to worry about that flexibility buffer there.
00:26:43.849 --> 00:26:46.029
So like all of our applications, this is dependent
00:26:46.029 --> 00:26:49.089
on where you are in this stage. Remember, getting
00:26:49.089 --> 00:26:52.930
your spouse on board is pretty important if it's
00:26:52.930 --> 00:26:55.569
going to be in the same space together. If not,
00:26:55.650 --> 00:26:57.609
you have some freedom and that might work too.
00:26:57.980 --> 00:26:59.799
If this is something that you already do, kind
00:26:59.799 --> 00:27:02.299
of assess what you're doing with that time. If
00:27:02.299 --> 00:27:04.660
you feel like it's getting away from you or it's
00:27:04.660 --> 00:27:07.220
just being consumed by social media and doom
00:27:07.220 --> 00:27:09.220
scrolling and other things that aren't particularly
00:27:09.220 --> 00:27:12.039
productive, then let's start seeing what we can
00:27:12.039 --> 00:27:14.859
fill that time with, things that are fun, enjoyable,
00:27:15.319 --> 00:27:17.720
enriching, and restful for your life. If this
00:27:17.720 --> 00:27:20.339
is absolutely super foreign to you and you have
00:27:20.339 --> 00:27:23.240
no idea, then start with two to four hours a
00:27:23.240 --> 00:27:25.940
week where you can just schedule something fun
00:27:25.940 --> 00:27:29.190
for you to do. that is gonna rejuvenate you and
00:27:29.190 --> 00:27:32.170
your spouse together, even if that is a date
00:27:32.170 --> 00:27:35.089
night or a double date with people you care about.
00:27:35.250 --> 00:27:38.170
Just these intentional moments of time to create
00:27:38.170 --> 00:27:41.329
space, openness, and rest, and leave room for
00:27:41.329 --> 00:27:43.750
joy. So bottom line is, no matter where you are,
00:27:43.869 --> 00:27:47.789
find ways to have intentional rest at least once
00:27:47.789 --> 00:27:50.140
a week. And if you're already doing it, find
00:27:50.140 --> 00:27:53.240
a way to make it more rich, more broad, and more
00:27:53.240 --> 00:27:55.319
intentional. And as always, thanks for listening
00:27:55.319 --> 00:27:57.900
to the Optimizing Beyond podcast. Remember, growth
00:27:57.900 --> 00:28:00.519
happens when you take action. So subscribe, share
00:28:00.519 --> 00:28:02.559
this with a friend, and most importantly, put
00:28:02.559 --> 00:28:04.500
what you learned into practice. Because as we
00:28:04.500 --> 00:28:07.359
know, daily anything changes everything.
00:00:02.100 --> 00:00:05.179
Welcome to the Optimizing Beyond podcast. I'm
00:00:05.179 --> 00:00:07.400
Josh Negron, and this show is all about sharing
00:00:07.400 --> 00:00:11.119
lessons, ideas, and strategies that sharpen your
00:00:11.119 --> 00:00:13.960
thinking, strengthen your habits, and push you
00:00:13.960 --> 00:00:17.039
to grow beyond comfort zones. Let's dive in.
00:00:20.989 --> 00:00:23.750
Welcome back to the show. In today's episode,
00:00:23.850 --> 00:00:27.190
I'd like to cover rests from digital devices
00:00:27.190 --> 00:00:30.329
specifically, but maybe not exactly what you
00:00:30.329 --> 00:00:32.369
think. Let me ask you this. Have you ever had
00:00:32.369 --> 00:00:34.450
some time where you didn't have anything to do?
00:00:34.570 --> 00:00:37.369
You spent some time on your digital device only
00:00:37.369 --> 00:00:39.229
to feel like you didn't know where the time went
00:00:39.229 --> 00:00:41.509
and you found yourself right back in the hamster
00:00:41.509 --> 00:00:43.829
wheel? I know I felt that, so I can't be the
00:00:43.829 --> 00:00:46.130
only one. And throughout the first half of this
00:00:46.130 --> 00:00:48.869
year, my wife and I started feeling like we were
00:00:48.869 --> 00:00:52.090
always on. The interruptions themselves weren't
00:00:52.090 --> 00:00:54.729
the problem. It was more that we didn't have
00:00:54.729 --> 00:00:57.990
our own systems of pausing and stopping ourselves
00:00:57.990 --> 00:01:00.990
from just continuing to churn against the to
00:01:00.990 --> 00:01:03.119
-do list. It's different if you get everything
00:01:03.119 --> 00:01:05.819
you need done for the day and you can just shut
00:01:05.819 --> 00:01:08.400
it all off and wait till tomorrow or the beginning
00:01:08.400 --> 00:01:10.599
of next week. But there may come a time in your
00:01:10.599 --> 00:01:13.739
life where you have so much to do that you never
00:01:13.739 --> 00:01:16.420
quite get everything done. Now, if you're good
00:01:16.420 --> 00:01:18.859
at prioritizing and executing and things that
00:01:18.859 --> 00:01:21.599
we've discussed before, then most likely the
00:01:21.599 --> 00:01:23.620
least important things are working their way
00:01:23.620 --> 00:01:25.379
to the bottom of your list and never getting
00:01:25.379 --> 00:01:27.959
done. But that means when you have time and you're
00:01:27.959 --> 00:01:30.079
in the always -on mentality, that you're going
00:01:30.079 --> 00:01:32.739
to go into those lists and dig those things out
00:01:32.739 --> 00:01:34.739
and try to get them done. Now, don't get me wrong.
00:01:34.859 --> 00:01:37.019
I'm not saying that productivity is a bad thing.
00:01:37.099 --> 00:01:39.680
But being always -on is something that started
00:01:39.680 --> 00:01:41.799
grinding against us and we started realizing
00:01:41.799 --> 00:01:44.659
that. potentially we were being less productive
00:01:44.659 --> 00:01:47.859
by always being productive. So bottom line, we
00:01:47.859 --> 00:01:50.400
just recognize this pattern of not shutting off
00:01:50.400 --> 00:01:53.480
when even nothing was pressing. So very clearly,
00:01:53.540 --> 00:01:55.420
we're not talking about interruptions or things
00:01:55.420 --> 00:01:57.459
that come up that are emergencies or things that
00:01:57.459 --> 00:02:00.420
need your attention, but more the actual habit
00:02:00.420 --> 00:02:02.760
of never shutting off and always pressing. Now,
00:02:02.760 --> 00:02:04.640
what I found interesting was towards the middle
00:02:04.640 --> 00:02:06.640
of the year, actually, I both started noticing
00:02:06.640 --> 00:02:09.259
this separately, but coming to the same conclusion.
00:02:09.740 --> 00:02:11.520
We started having conversations and realizing
00:02:11.520 --> 00:02:14.300
that we were kind of in the same place, realizing
00:02:14.300 --> 00:02:17.219
that we were perpetually tired. We weren't finding
00:02:17.219 --> 00:02:20.460
time for rest or to do things that were enjoyable
00:02:20.460 --> 00:02:23.000
for ourselves individually and together. And
00:02:23.000 --> 00:02:24.919
I don't necessarily want to use the word burned
00:02:24.919 --> 00:02:27.520
out, but. We just didn't feel as sharp as we
00:02:27.520 --> 00:02:30.419
could be and that we expected to be. And so that
00:02:30.419 --> 00:02:32.699
got us down this rabbit hole that got us into
00:02:32.699 --> 00:02:35.360
thinking that maybe this is something that deserves
00:02:35.360 --> 00:02:37.960
more of our attention and intentionality. Now,
00:02:37.979 --> 00:02:40.080
what did this initial pattern look like? What
00:02:40.080 --> 00:02:42.539
did, quote, time off look like? And really what
00:02:42.539 --> 00:02:44.740
it turned into is anything that we were doing.
00:02:45.210 --> 00:02:47.389
We would constantly have our laptops open and
00:02:47.389 --> 00:02:49.949
we would be working on something. Now, listen,
00:02:50.069 --> 00:02:51.729
when you're an entrepreneur, that involves doing
00:02:51.729 --> 00:02:54.590
things at all hours of the day. And you hear
00:02:54.590 --> 00:02:56.810
a lot of successful people say, you got to grind,
00:02:56.889 --> 00:02:58.789
grind, grind, and you're not going to get there
00:02:58.789 --> 00:03:01.729
doing 40, 50 hour weeks. And all of those things
00:03:01.729 --> 00:03:05.030
are true. But when you've cut a lot of fat out
00:03:05.030 --> 00:03:07.069
of your schedule and you don't leave space for
00:03:07.069 --> 00:03:09.490
regular habitual fun, it can start to become
00:03:09.490 --> 00:03:11.610
a problem. And so there came a time a few months
00:03:11.610 --> 00:03:14.669
ago when we realized. that something needed to
00:03:14.669 --> 00:03:17.229
change. Now, it's no secret, if you're not new
00:03:17.229 --> 00:03:19.669
to this channel, you know that we are people
00:03:19.669 --> 00:03:22.289
of faith and we believe that rest and Sabbath
00:03:22.289 --> 00:03:24.530
are something that are commanded for us to do.
00:03:24.629 --> 00:03:26.370
And so that's something that's super important,
00:03:26.490 --> 00:03:30.289
but hard to do in practice. I know many Christians
00:03:30.289 --> 00:03:34.349
that their Sunday sometimes is rivaling the weekdays
00:03:34.349 --> 00:03:36.370
for the busiest day of the week. And that's just
00:03:36.370 --> 00:03:39.090
how it is sometimes. So maybe the moment of rest
00:03:39.090 --> 00:03:41.250
may not be a Sunday for some people. It could
00:03:41.250 --> 00:03:43.409
be a day off in the week. It could be a Saturday.
00:03:43.490 --> 00:03:45.030
So I don't think the day of the week necessarily
00:03:45.030 --> 00:03:49.030
matters. It's more the optimization of the regular
00:03:49.030 --> 00:03:52.330
pattern of resting and resting with intentionality.
00:03:52.750 --> 00:03:54.289
Because like we mentioned earlier, there's a
00:03:54.289 --> 00:03:56.110
lot of things stealing for your attention and
00:03:56.110 --> 00:03:59.289
not all of them are peaceful and restful for
00:03:59.289 --> 00:04:01.169
your heart, mind, and soul. And I think that's
00:04:01.169 --> 00:04:04.069
what a lot of books miss when they speak to this
00:04:04.069 --> 00:04:07.310
aspect. Because if you create empty space and
00:04:07.310 --> 00:04:09.590
you don't protect it, then it will inevitably
00:04:09.590 --> 00:04:12.069
be filled by something. And most of the time
00:04:12.069 --> 00:04:15.050
it's filled by some type of social media. And
00:04:15.050 --> 00:04:17.829
on average, long swaths of that kind of usage
00:04:17.829 --> 00:04:21.550
typically don't leave people feeling very rested
00:04:21.550 --> 00:04:23.589
and peaceful. There is plenty of research to
00:04:23.589 --> 00:04:25.870
back that up. And I think most of us have enough
00:04:25.870 --> 00:04:28.709
anecdotal data personally that we know that's
00:04:28.709 --> 00:04:30.490
true. So if you're coming at this from a religious
00:04:30.490 --> 00:04:33.110
perspective, then you're going to have some conviction
00:04:33.110 --> 00:04:35.670
involved here because if you are a workaholic
00:04:35.670 --> 00:04:38.490
or you're very performance focused, then this
00:04:38.490 --> 00:04:40.790
is going to be difficult for you to pump the
00:04:40.790 --> 00:04:44.970
brakes and in your perception do absolutely nothing
00:04:44.970 --> 00:04:48.050
and waste time is a lot of the language that
00:04:48.050 --> 00:04:50.769
your critical mind is going to be applying to
00:04:50.769 --> 00:04:52.610
that time. One of the things that kind of helped
00:04:52.610 --> 00:04:55.769
me awaken to some of this beyond the simple things
00:04:55.769 --> 00:04:58.850
that I've known for many years is reading in
00:04:58.850 --> 00:05:02.509
all sorts of books about scheduling fun and time
00:05:02.509 --> 00:05:05.689
blocks for simply non -productive time. And I
00:05:05.689 --> 00:05:07.509
thought that was such a foreign thing for me.
00:05:07.629 --> 00:05:09.810
In Brandon Thornhill's book, Elite Leadership
00:05:09.810 --> 00:05:12.329
Blueprint, there is an entire chapter that Brandon
00:05:12.329 --> 00:05:15.290
dedicates to scheduling daily fun, somewhere
00:05:15.290 --> 00:05:18.430
between 15 to 20 minutes a day, where... You
00:05:18.430 --> 00:05:20.610
do something that's fun for you, some kind of
00:05:20.610 --> 00:05:22.629
hobby, learning something that you're really
00:05:22.629 --> 00:05:25.149
into and enjoy that isn't productivity -based
00:05:25.149 --> 00:05:28.470
and is just purely for your enrichment, your
00:05:28.470 --> 00:05:31.189
enjoyment personally. And that is something that
00:05:31.189 --> 00:05:34.439
struck me. from someone who's a Navy SEAL, who's
00:05:34.439 --> 00:05:37.220
obviously a high -performance elite individual,
00:05:37.500 --> 00:05:40.160
that the importance of that is something that
00:05:40.160 --> 00:05:42.699
I at least definitely wasn't focusing on. And
00:05:42.699 --> 00:05:44.800
when I was much younger and much more irresponsible
00:05:44.800 --> 00:05:47.860
with my time, I would have massive blocks of
00:05:47.860 --> 00:05:50.259
unproductive time, and I didn't control that
00:05:50.259 --> 00:05:52.620
fun. So for someone to say you need to do it
00:05:52.620 --> 00:05:55.250
daily for a short period of time, was something
00:05:55.250 --> 00:05:57.209
that I'd never considered before. So that really
00:05:57.209 --> 00:05:59.170
got me thinking, maybe there is something to
00:05:59.170 --> 00:06:01.589
this. Maybe I can systematize it in a way. But
00:06:01.589 --> 00:06:04.129
like I said earlier, our phones don't make this
00:06:04.129 --> 00:06:07.790
easy. Our phones are an entire environment built
00:06:07.790 --> 00:06:10.980
around engagement. Notifications are everywhere.
00:06:11.120 --> 00:06:13.639
If you're OCD, those red bubbles drive you crazy.
00:06:13.779 --> 00:06:16.540
The notification banners are constantly going.
00:06:16.759 --> 00:06:20.579
And every app asks you permission to send these
00:06:20.579 --> 00:06:22.720
things to you. And then if you're not intentional
00:06:22.720 --> 00:06:25.879
about saying no to allowing those things, then
00:06:25.879 --> 00:06:28.839
they are going to constantly bombard you to be
00:06:28.839 --> 00:06:32.360
engaged in whatever app that is. Constant emails
00:06:32.360 --> 00:06:34.970
rolling in. text messages. I think we're all
00:06:34.970 --> 00:06:37.850
familiar with being inside of a social media
00:06:37.850 --> 00:06:40.470
app, addressing all of the notifications, getting
00:06:40.470 --> 00:06:43.290
out of the app, and there's still a red one.
00:06:43.589 --> 00:06:46.649
There's still a red badge. You go back in and
00:06:46.649 --> 00:06:49.569
there's something new just to keep you in. All
00:06:49.569 --> 00:06:52.709
of these things are an entire environment designed
00:06:52.709 --> 00:06:56.670
to keep you engaged and distracted. And so discipline
00:06:56.670 --> 00:07:00.310
is almost useless when you're in the wrong environment.
00:07:00.699 --> 00:07:03.720
And so what I found is that you got to get outside
00:07:03.720 --> 00:07:06.500
of that environment. And sometimes that means
00:07:06.500 --> 00:07:08.819
putting the phone down, putting do not disturb
00:07:08.819 --> 00:07:12.300
on, or just creating some sort of distance from
00:07:12.300 --> 00:07:14.660
that environment so that you can do what you
00:07:14.660 --> 00:07:16.939
want to do along the lines of what we're talking
00:07:16.939 --> 00:07:19.139
about. And when you can actually get some freedom
00:07:19.139 --> 00:07:21.980
and space from those kinds of distractions that
00:07:21.980 --> 00:07:25.019
are truly unproductive, then you can experience
00:07:25.019 --> 00:07:28.500
the mental rest and peace that is actually possible
00:07:28.500 --> 00:07:31.779
and has good utility to it. And then you start
00:07:31.779 --> 00:07:34.600
to realize that those kinds of activities are
00:07:34.600 --> 00:07:37.639
actually productive in their own right, even
00:07:37.639 --> 00:07:39.339
though at first you're worried that they are
00:07:39.339 --> 00:07:42.360
just as unproductive as doom scrolling. Now,
00:07:42.399 --> 00:07:45.180
along the lines of all high quality goal setting,
00:07:45.379 --> 00:07:48.300
saying a goal of I will do this more and I will
00:07:48.300 --> 00:07:51.500
do this less are typically highlighted as terrible
00:07:51.500 --> 00:07:54.600
goals. So a lot of people will say, well, I'll
00:07:54.600 --> 00:07:57.639
just pick up my phone less. And that's. just
00:07:57.639 --> 00:07:59.879
as useless because it'll never stick. There'll
00:07:59.879 --> 00:08:02.060
always be something else calling for your attention.
00:08:02.240 --> 00:08:04.379
Now we can get really granular here. We can talk
00:08:04.379 --> 00:08:06.680
about every time that you do get a notification,
00:08:06.720 --> 00:08:09.480
asking yourself the question, do I want to continue
00:08:09.480 --> 00:08:11.759
receiving notifications from this? You can swipe
00:08:11.759 --> 00:08:14.860
to the left and then put, turn the notifications
00:08:14.860 --> 00:08:17.279
off. You can do practical things like that. And
00:08:17.279 --> 00:08:19.970
those are things that I do. as well. But if you
00:08:19.970 --> 00:08:22.029
don't practice something like putting it in the
00:08:22.029 --> 00:08:25.009
other room or putting it on some sort of focus
00:08:25.009 --> 00:08:27.649
filter like Do Not Disturb or a custom one that
00:08:27.649 --> 00:08:29.569
you've built, where you can choose where the
00:08:29.569 --> 00:08:32.009
notifications get through and which ones don't.
00:08:32.009 --> 00:08:33.509
There's a lot of things that you can customize
00:08:33.509 --> 00:08:37.070
in that regard to create this new environment
00:08:37.070 --> 00:08:40.070
of rest and relaxation. And there is plenty of
00:08:40.070 --> 00:08:43.570
research to back up that there is serious consequences
00:08:43.570 --> 00:08:46.409
of never mentally shutting off. And we don't
00:08:46.409 --> 00:08:48.590
need the research because we all know, I think
00:08:48.590 --> 00:08:51.149
by experience and intuition, that this is true.
00:08:51.309 --> 00:08:53.850
When you run 90 miles an hour all the time, at
00:08:53.850 --> 00:08:56.149
some point you're going to hit a wall. And if
00:08:56.149 --> 00:08:58.090
you're that type of person, you've hit that wall
00:08:58.090 --> 00:09:00.309
multiple times. You know what that feels like
00:09:00.309 --> 00:09:02.950
and it goes in cycles for you, which is probably
00:09:02.950 --> 00:09:05.309
why you're very familiar with this pattern. Now,
00:09:05.309 --> 00:09:07.110
what does this look like and what does this not
00:09:07.110 --> 00:09:09.110
look like? You know, I mentioned earlier that
00:09:09.110 --> 00:09:11.440
this is not... something that I had been doing
00:09:11.440 --> 00:09:13.580
in an extremely structured way for a very long
00:09:13.580 --> 00:09:15.919
time. So Ashley and I are still figuring a lot
00:09:15.919 --> 00:09:17.899
of these components out, but I can definitely
00:09:17.899 --> 00:09:20.570
tell you this. extremely valuable to explore.
00:09:20.769 --> 00:09:22.389
And one of the things that was the most powerful
00:09:22.389 --> 00:09:25.149
was kind of being on the same page with your
00:09:25.149 --> 00:09:28.690
spouse on this. So if it's just one -sided, if
00:09:28.690 --> 00:09:31.769
only one person is pursuing this, then you can
00:09:31.769 --> 00:09:34.690
really feel pulled in different directions, especially
00:09:34.690 --> 00:09:36.789
if you're home at the same time. Now, if you
00:09:36.789 --> 00:09:39.169
get a day off by yourself or you're not with
00:09:39.169 --> 00:09:41.409
your spouse, then you could still have the space
00:09:41.409 --> 00:09:45.529
to do this without inconveniencing them or clashing
00:09:45.529 --> 00:09:47.870
with maybe their desire to get things done when
00:09:47.870 --> 00:09:51.129
you might be in a rest mindset of kicking back
00:09:51.129 --> 00:09:53.450
and doing some fun. So getting together and having
00:09:53.450 --> 00:09:56.230
conversations around this does have a lot of
00:09:56.230 --> 00:09:58.470
value. Like I mentioned earlier, it was great
00:09:58.470 --> 00:10:00.870
that we were both kind of realizing that this
00:10:00.870 --> 00:10:03.470
was causing some deficiencies on both of our
00:10:03.470 --> 00:10:06.350
ends. And we were realizing separately that this
00:10:06.350 --> 00:10:08.350
is something that maybe we should work together
00:10:08.350 --> 00:10:11.269
on prioritizing. So when we started communicating
00:10:11.269 --> 00:10:13.750
about it, it was actually kind of humorous that
00:10:13.750 --> 00:10:16.610
we were both having the same feeling and realizing
00:10:16.610 --> 00:10:18.500
that. We had something to figure out together.
00:10:18.679 --> 00:10:20.940
Now, you may be thinking, are you saying like
00:10:20.940 --> 00:10:23.600
this needs to be a full digital detox, like no
00:10:23.600 --> 00:10:26.299
phone, putting in a Faraday bag, whatever? No,
00:10:26.340 --> 00:10:27.879
that's not what I'm saying. We still have our
00:10:27.879 --> 00:10:30.580
phones. We still handle interruptions. And that's
00:10:30.580 --> 00:10:33.240
just a reality at the moment. However, there
00:10:33.240 --> 00:10:36.159
is an intentionality behind scheduling blocks
00:10:36.159 --> 00:10:39.080
and spaces where you do some fun stuff. You do
00:10:39.080 --> 00:10:41.720
things that you want to do that create that space
00:10:41.720 --> 00:10:43.500
and that buffer. Now, if you're somebody that
00:10:43.500 --> 00:10:45.399
has a lot of care for people or has a lot of
00:10:45.399 --> 00:10:47.679
responsibilities to people, then you may ask
00:10:47.679 --> 00:10:49.679
yourself, well, what if somebody needs me? That
00:10:49.679 --> 00:10:52.519
doesn't seem like a sustainable, healthy thing.
00:10:53.029 --> 00:10:55.590
where I just ignore everybody for 24 hours. And
00:10:55.590 --> 00:10:57.409
while you do have a point, I do want to push
00:10:57.409 --> 00:11:00.070
back just a little bit in that there is a balance
00:11:00.070 --> 00:11:03.269
of how much access you allow people to have in
00:11:03.269 --> 00:11:06.370
your life. And it also matters what type of communication
00:11:06.370 --> 00:11:10.230
they are using for you as well. So a text message
00:11:10.230 --> 00:11:13.250
is typically seen as less urgent than a phone
00:11:13.250 --> 00:11:16.250
call. If someone means for a text to be extremely
00:11:16.250 --> 00:11:19.509
urgent and demands an immediate answer, then
00:11:19.509 --> 00:11:23.730
they might have a misconception around generally
00:11:23.730 --> 00:11:26.490
accepted communication styles. So if something
00:11:26.490 --> 00:11:29.509
is an extreme emergency, the phone call would
00:11:29.509 --> 00:11:32.570
be the most appropriate option in that case.
00:11:32.769 --> 00:11:35.070
If you're in the other room, you may not hear
00:11:35.070 --> 00:11:37.649
a text message, but the likelihood of you hearing
00:11:37.649 --> 00:11:40.250
a phone call are much higher, and everybody knows
00:11:40.250 --> 00:11:43.350
that. So that's why a phone call is used for
00:11:43.350 --> 00:11:45.570
things that are very urgent and text messages
00:11:45.570 --> 00:11:48.610
aren't. So that doesn't demand an instant answer.
00:11:48.769 --> 00:11:51.389
Now, I've been in the reverse scenario. I have
00:11:51.389 --> 00:11:53.490
texted someone something I needed an answer to
00:11:53.490 --> 00:11:55.830
immediately and I didn't get an answer immediately
00:11:55.830 --> 00:11:59.149
and I found myself frustrated. And then I have
00:11:59.149 --> 00:12:02.309
to look inward and ask myself, okay, did I choose
00:12:02.309 --> 00:12:05.330
the right way to communicate this? The answer
00:12:05.330 --> 00:12:08.629
is no, so can't control them. realize that I'm
00:12:08.629 --> 00:12:11.149
the problem and I should have called. So I have
00:12:11.149 --> 00:12:13.230
a choice to make there. Make the phone call or
00:12:13.230 --> 00:12:15.529
let it go. So same thing here. So that doesn't
00:12:15.529 --> 00:12:17.970
mean that you don't let anyone have any access
00:12:17.970 --> 00:12:20.350
to you in that time period. I don't think that's
00:12:20.350 --> 00:12:22.710
realistic, specifically if you're someone who's
00:12:22.710 --> 00:12:24.649
responsible for a lot of things. But that being
00:12:24.649 --> 00:12:26.590
said, there is a difference between a text message
00:12:26.590 --> 00:12:29.929
and a phone call and what you have to address
00:12:29.929 --> 00:12:32.929
immediately versus something that can wait till
00:12:32.929 --> 00:12:36.029
tomorrow, or at least until your scheduled block
00:12:36.029 --> 00:12:38.320
is over. So let's cover the framework. What does
00:12:38.320 --> 00:12:41.299
this actually look like in practice? So step
00:12:41.299 --> 00:12:44.179
one is you have to be on the same page with your
00:12:44.179 --> 00:12:46.679
spouse. Certainly it definitely helps unless
00:12:46.679 --> 00:12:48.879
you have a day off separately and you're not
00:12:48.879 --> 00:12:51.100
going to be disrupting them with this plan. And
00:12:51.100 --> 00:12:53.080
I will tell you the degree of success went up
00:12:53.080 --> 00:12:55.320
dramatically when her and I were on the same
00:12:55.320 --> 00:12:57.799
page. Next is going to be picking your time frames
00:12:57.799 --> 00:13:00.460
together. Now it doesn't have to be a full 24
00:13:00.460 --> 00:13:04.129
hour block. It can be a small. two to four hour
00:13:04.129 --> 00:13:06.730
blocks starting out. If this is foreign and new
00:13:06.730 --> 00:13:09.429
to you, then in my experience, those smaller
00:13:09.429 --> 00:13:11.769
timeframes are actually helpful to getting your
00:13:11.769 --> 00:13:14.769
feet wet and starting the discipline, which matches
00:13:14.769 --> 00:13:16.909
what we talk about on here. Sometimes it's not
00:13:16.909 --> 00:13:19.389
the most practical thing to cut out all desserts
00:13:19.389 --> 00:13:22.509
and eat perfect forevermore. That is just not
00:13:22.509 --> 00:13:25.350
the most practical step. And I also say schedule
00:13:25.350 --> 00:13:28.250
it ahead of time because sometimes it's not going
00:13:28.250 --> 00:13:31.789
to be easy to have it be the same day, same time,
00:13:31.789 --> 00:13:34.370
every time. That's just a reality of schedules.
00:13:34.570 --> 00:13:37.289
And so having the flexibility to be able to move
00:13:37.289 --> 00:13:39.690
it, to be able to choose a different day if necessary,
00:13:39.970 --> 00:13:43.269
has a lot of value. So her and I will communicate.
00:13:43.490 --> 00:13:45.990
If one day gets wrecked, then we have some other
00:13:45.990 --> 00:13:48.549
days as backups. And if something's immovable.
00:13:49.019 --> 00:13:50.960
then there's communication that's necessary to
00:13:50.960 --> 00:13:53.519
do so. And that leads me into the next step in
00:13:53.519 --> 00:13:56.000
that you have to do some intentional prep work
00:13:56.000 --> 00:13:58.799
in how you're organizing this and also do some
00:13:58.799 --> 00:14:00.799
communication with the people closest to you
00:14:00.799 --> 00:14:02.399
on what you're doing. So with those specific
00:14:02.399 --> 00:14:05.090
people, you might say, hey, if you need me. I
00:14:05.090 --> 00:14:07.309
may not be around my phone as much tomorrow,
00:14:07.450 --> 00:14:10.149
so if you need something, please call. Or letting
00:14:10.149 --> 00:14:12.169
them know if you're using Do Not Disturb, like,
00:14:12.169 --> 00:14:14.210
hey, if you need something, call twice in a row.
00:14:14.490 --> 00:14:16.769
I may not get back to your text right away, just
00:14:16.769 --> 00:14:19.110
so you know. These kinds of communications are
00:14:19.110 --> 00:14:21.730
not rude. They're kind. They're clear because
00:14:21.730 --> 00:14:23.269
you're letting them know, hey, I'm going to be
00:14:23.269 --> 00:14:24.809
doing something tomorrow. If you need something,
00:14:24.809 --> 00:14:26.750
let me know. I'm not unavailable, but I just
00:14:26.750 --> 00:14:28.690
want to give you the context behind it. And it's
00:14:28.690 --> 00:14:30.990
just key to letting people know what they couldn't
00:14:30.990 --> 00:14:33.570
possibly know otherwise unless you told them.
00:14:33.629 --> 00:14:35.429
I think this is the best practice because if
00:14:35.429 --> 00:14:38.029
you just go all ghost mode, then the likelihood
00:14:38.029 --> 00:14:41.269
of you being interrupted is higher, especially
00:14:41.269 --> 00:14:44.090
if you're still in close proximity to your devices.
00:14:44.309 --> 00:14:46.570
So do some communication on the relationships
00:14:46.570 --> 00:14:49.230
that matter most. That way they're aware and
00:14:49.230 --> 00:14:51.769
can adjust accordingly as well. Now for my leaders
00:14:51.769 --> 00:14:54.200
out there, this is even more important. This
00:14:54.200 --> 00:14:56.860
is going to be a test of your leadership. If
00:14:56.860 --> 00:15:00.059
you find out that your team cannot survive the
00:15:00.059 --> 00:15:02.480
day without you, that is a reflection on your
00:15:02.480 --> 00:15:05.500
leadership and your inability to delegate and
00:15:05.500 --> 00:15:08.240
to be the best leader you can possibly be. You
00:15:08.240 --> 00:15:11.399
are the bottleneck and that is your responsibility
00:15:11.399 --> 00:15:14.100
to remedy and that can have so many different
00:15:14.100 --> 00:15:16.419
reasons. So make sure they're equipped, make
00:15:16.419 --> 00:15:18.779
sure they have the resources and the people necessary
00:15:18.779 --> 00:15:21.740
to support them in their role without your presence
00:15:21.740 --> 00:15:24.049
always being necessary. So if that means they
00:15:24.049 --> 00:15:27.149
need a handbook, an SOP, some policies to look
00:15:27.149 --> 00:15:29.850
at, or just other people as resources that they
00:15:29.850 --> 00:15:32.610
can contact or go to for help without always
00:15:32.610 --> 00:15:35.190
going directly to you. And if you have these
00:15:35.190 --> 00:15:38.009
resources or you have supplied them, and they
00:15:38.009 --> 00:15:40.509
still contact you with non -emergencies anyway
00:15:40.509 --> 00:15:43.210
that have answers that can easily be accessed
00:15:43.210 --> 00:15:45.929
by those resources, it is your responsibility
00:15:45.929 --> 00:15:49.970
to kindly ask them if they have consulted those
00:15:49.970 --> 00:15:52.950
resources. And that sends a very easy, subtle
00:15:52.950 --> 00:15:56.090
message, but direct message that they need to
00:15:56.090 --> 00:15:58.950
check those first before getting the easy answer
00:15:58.950 --> 00:16:01.710
by just calling you or texting you what they've
00:16:01.710 --> 00:16:03.669
got going on. Just make sure you're not being
00:16:03.669 --> 00:16:05.950
sarcastic or passive -aggressive when they're
00:16:05.950 --> 00:16:08.340
calling you. I've definitely experienced that
00:16:08.340 --> 00:16:11.039
type of leadership before and it does not make
00:16:11.039 --> 00:16:13.500
you feel good at all from an employee perspective.
00:16:14.039 --> 00:16:16.980
So bottom line is, if people keep asking, ask
00:16:16.980 --> 00:16:19.179
yourself why. So what does that look like when
00:16:19.179 --> 00:16:21.879
I get towards the end of my week? If I'm prepping
00:16:21.879 --> 00:16:24.419
for this, I'm looking at the end of my week,
00:16:24.460 --> 00:16:26.740
making sure that I've buttoned up as many things
00:16:26.740 --> 00:16:29.179
as I possibly could. And sometimes that helps
00:16:29.179 --> 00:16:31.860
me prioritize and execute particular things because
00:16:31.860 --> 00:16:33.580
if there's something that I'm working on that
00:16:33.580 --> 00:16:35.740
doesn't need to be done until the following week,
00:16:36.169 --> 00:16:38.110
but there is something on my list that needs
00:16:38.110 --> 00:16:41.090
done by that Friday, Saturday, or Sunday, then
00:16:41.090 --> 00:16:43.049
I need to make some shifts to make sure that
00:16:43.049 --> 00:16:45.269
I can button that up and get it done so that
00:16:45.269 --> 00:16:47.750
it does not become a problem and I'm stuck against
00:16:47.750 --> 00:16:50.769
a wall on a day or time that I don't necessarily
00:16:50.769 --> 00:16:53.250
want to be, which is tough. I'm a person who
00:16:53.250 --> 00:16:55.350
likes to finish what I start. I don't like to
00:16:55.350 --> 00:16:57.730
switch tasks because it is truly inefficient.
00:16:58.009 --> 00:17:00.909
And there's just that slight OCD that I like
00:17:00.909 --> 00:17:03.779
to finish what I start. And so it's... Sometimes
00:17:03.779 --> 00:17:06.880
kind of tough to pivot into something else. But
00:17:06.880 --> 00:17:09.400
when you recognize, hey, I know I'm in the groove.
00:17:09.519 --> 00:17:11.279
I know I'm crushing this right now, but this
00:17:11.279 --> 00:17:14.740
is not either very high priority or it is not
00:17:14.740 --> 00:17:17.940
due for a while. I probably need to go and eat
00:17:17.940 --> 00:17:21.420
the frog on something else that is due that probably
00:17:21.420 --> 00:17:23.829
I don't want to do. Those kinds of things are
00:17:23.829 --> 00:17:25.569
really important to reflect on, especially when
00:17:25.569 --> 00:17:27.049
you get towards the end of the week. Something
00:17:27.049 --> 00:17:29.190
also that helps me is looking at the beginning
00:17:29.190 --> 00:17:32.009
of the following week. So sometimes if something
00:17:32.009 --> 00:17:35.230
big is due on Monday or Tuesday, I want to at
00:17:35.230 --> 00:17:37.250
least look at it to make sure that there's not
00:17:37.250 --> 00:17:39.509
any prep work I need to do towards the end of
00:17:39.509 --> 00:17:42.210
this week. to kind of help set me up for that
00:17:42.210 --> 00:17:44.809
following week's task load in the beginning of
00:17:44.809 --> 00:17:47.150
the week. So pay attention to that to make sure
00:17:47.150 --> 00:17:49.170
nothing sneaks up on you because then you'll
00:17:49.170 --> 00:17:52.930
feel some kind of way around the rest that you
00:17:52.930 --> 00:17:55.089
took during the weekend and be like, man, I put
00:17:55.089 --> 00:17:58.000
myself in a tough spot. you might be tempted
00:17:58.000 --> 00:18:00.740
to blame the rest when technically it's the lack
00:18:00.740 --> 00:18:03.539
of preparation on the week before. So that's
00:18:03.539 --> 00:18:06.599
another easy way to mitigate that problem as
00:18:06.599 --> 00:18:08.839
well, just to make sure nothing sneaks up on
00:18:08.839 --> 00:18:11.119
you. Now, this definitely in practice doesn't
00:18:11.119 --> 00:18:13.769
always work out that way, and that's why... I
00:18:13.769 --> 00:18:16.130
covered earlier about being flexible because
00:18:16.130 --> 00:18:18.789
sometimes something sneaks by and I end up having
00:18:18.789 --> 00:18:21.869
to address it into one of those rest days. And
00:18:21.869 --> 00:18:24.190
so if I have another day that I can flip that
00:18:24.190 --> 00:18:27.109
to, then that is, again, where the flexibility
00:18:27.109 --> 00:18:30.609
comes in handy. So how do we fill that day, that
00:18:30.609 --> 00:18:34.250
time? Because nature abhors a vacuum, as they
00:18:34.250 --> 00:18:37.549
say. And that's a cliche because it's true. If
00:18:37.549 --> 00:18:40.349
you leave it empty, it will be filled, and your
00:18:40.349 --> 00:18:43.529
phone is more than willing to fill it with useless
00:18:43.529 --> 00:18:46.630
items. What's funny is I used to be a massive
00:18:46.630 --> 00:18:49.450
procrastinator when I was young. In fact, I found
00:18:49.450 --> 00:18:52.309
myself in academic probation in college because
00:18:52.309 --> 00:18:54.450
my grades were slipping because I wasn't getting
00:18:54.450 --> 00:18:57.430
things done. And the professor in charge of that,
00:18:57.509 --> 00:19:00.670
he's a guy that knows who he is and really showed
00:19:00.670 --> 00:19:04.130
me some eye -opening details about my procrastination
00:19:04.130 --> 00:19:07.630
that stuck with me for all these years. Now,
00:19:07.670 --> 00:19:10.069
part of it was classic time management, that
00:19:10.069 --> 00:19:12.470
you don't manage your time well enough and by
00:19:12.470 --> 00:19:14.549
the time that you do all the fun stuff that you
00:19:14.549 --> 00:19:16.529
wanna do and you realize you have to do what
00:19:16.529 --> 00:19:18.450
you have to do, there's not enough time left
00:19:18.450 --> 00:19:22.130
and the time passes and you're SOL. That is definitely
00:19:22.130 --> 00:19:24.630
true. And that is the point here. Now, I also
00:19:24.630 --> 00:19:26.619
- mentioned that I have perfectionistic tendencies
00:19:26.619 --> 00:19:28.859
that I wasn't aware of at the time. And he's
00:19:28.859 --> 00:19:30.359
like, you want to do such a good job that once
00:19:30.359 --> 00:19:32.619
you realize that you can't do the best job, then
00:19:32.619 --> 00:19:34.619
you kind of sabotage it or don't do it at all
00:19:34.619 --> 00:19:36.319
and you give up. That's an entirely different
00:19:36.319 --> 00:19:39.519
matter for a different episode. But here, the
00:19:39.519 --> 00:19:43.279
point was that I put all my fun front -loaded
00:19:43.279 --> 00:19:44.920
in the beginning and then didn't have enough
00:19:44.920 --> 00:19:47.359
time for the responsible items that were needed
00:19:47.359 --> 00:19:49.619
to be done, and that was all on me. So I learned
00:19:49.619 --> 00:19:52.400
to reverse that pattern and make sure to get
00:19:52.400 --> 00:19:54.779
the things done that needed to be done first,
00:19:54.940 --> 00:19:57.180
and then I could reward myself with some free
00:19:57.180 --> 00:19:59.740
time or fun time afterwards, which is great.
00:20:00.089 --> 00:20:01.670
What starts to get a little tricky is when you
00:20:01.670 --> 00:20:03.910
get to a point in life where you have enough
00:20:03.910 --> 00:20:07.109
going on that you can constantly fill the responsibility
00:20:07.109 --> 00:20:10.289
bucket, and then you may realize that that bucket
00:20:10.289 --> 00:20:12.849
may not run out. And because you've saved the
00:20:12.849 --> 00:20:15.789
fun or the rest till the end, you may not get
00:20:15.789 --> 00:20:18.329
to the end. And that happens more and more, and
00:20:18.329 --> 00:20:20.470
you start realizing this is not sustainable.
00:20:21.049 --> 00:20:22.769
And you're using good principles, like from the
00:20:22.769 --> 00:20:24.849
book Atomic Habits, you're doing habit stacking,
00:20:25.029 --> 00:20:26.970
you're like, hey, I'm not gonna do what I wanna
00:20:26.970 --> 00:20:29.049
do until I'm done with what I have to do, which
00:20:29.049 --> 00:20:31.849
is great. But sometimes if you front load it
00:20:31.849 --> 00:20:34.089
so much, then the same thing that happened to
00:20:34.089 --> 00:20:36.869
me in college happens in reverse. You procrastinate
00:20:36.869 --> 00:20:39.670
the fun and the rest that also needs to happen
00:20:39.670 --> 00:20:43.150
in proper limits, naturally. But what I'm saying
00:20:43.150 --> 00:20:46.210
is, you find yourself not doing it more and more,
00:20:46.349 --> 00:20:48.799
and that starts to become a problem. Like I said,
00:20:48.819 --> 00:20:51.059
you can experience mental fatigue and all sorts
00:20:51.059 --> 00:20:53.740
of issues that can be avoided if you're engaging
00:20:53.740 --> 00:20:55.920
in this regularly. So this is where you could
00:20:55.920 --> 00:20:59.400
start to consider maybe doing a smaller reward
00:20:59.400 --> 00:21:02.279
or smaller time domain when you get a shorter
00:21:02.279 --> 00:21:04.900
series of things done instead of saving it all
00:21:04.900 --> 00:21:06.779
to the end. I know that that started to help
00:21:06.779 --> 00:21:09.619
me, particularly in reference to Brandon's book
00:21:09.619 --> 00:21:12.319
where he says, you know, schedule 15 to 20 minutes
00:21:12.319 --> 00:21:14.940
of fun. I can start to kind of. pivot that fun
00:21:14.940 --> 00:21:17.400
after specific tasks that I want to get done,
00:21:17.460 --> 00:21:20.779
but not always leaving it until the end has been
00:21:20.779 --> 00:21:24.119
the way to make sure to actually accomplish that
00:21:24.119 --> 00:21:26.400
goal. Now, like I said earlier, it doesn't always
00:21:26.400 --> 00:21:30.279
have to start out as a 24 -hour rest day. You
00:21:30.279 --> 00:21:32.559
can start with smaller blocks, like two to four
00:21:32.559 --> 00:21:35.200
-hour blocks. The easiest ones are to just start
00:21:35.200 --> 00:21:37.660
a date night where you refresh with your spouse.
00:21:38.200 --> 00:21:40.240
or maybe some other very close friends where
00:21:40.240 --> 00:21:41.779
you're not doing anything productive and you're
00:21:41.779 --> 00:21:44.559
just hanging out. Those are times where it's
00:21:44.559 --> 00:21:47.259
more socially appropriate to have your phone
00:21:47.259 --> 00:21:49.920
down anyway and not be engaged in that. So it
00:21:49.920 --> 00:21:53.160
kind of builds in that habit from the get -go
00:21:53.160 --> 00:21:55.759
and it can be very refreshing. And as you start
00:21:55.759 --> 00:21:57.440
building that habit, you can start to reverse
00:21:57.440 --> 00:21:59.960
engineer that at home. And I can say at home,
00:22:00.000 --> 00:22:03.200
it is more difficult because there is nothing
00:22:03.200 --> 00:22:05.440
keeping you from constantly being on your phone
00:22:05.440 --> 00:22:07.839
or constantly being on your laptop working. At
00:22:07.839 --> 00:22:10.079
least for me, which is strange because at home
00:22:10.079 --> 00:22:12.299
you think it would be easier to rest. But for
00:22:12.299 --> 00:22:14.440
me, it's not always true. Now, you may be saying,
00:22:14.599 --> 00:22:16.599
well, my business can't survive without me. So
00:22:16.599 --> 00:22:18.700
this all sounds great, but it's just not reality.
00:22:19.000 --> 00:22:21.140
Like I said earlier, I would ask you to look
00:22:21.140 --> 00:22:23.039
at your leadership, look at your organization
00:22:23.039 --> 00:22:25.619
and the way you set it up. Now, sometimes it's
00:22:25.619 --> 00:22:28.500
early in the infancy of a small business and
00:22:28.500 --> 00:22:30.359
you're just wearing a lot of hats and that's
00:22:30.359 --> 00:22:33.519
just the reality of it. And that is a short season,
00:22:33.599 --> 00:22:36.109
a sprint, if you will. where you just need to
00:22:36.109 --> 00:22:38.009
get things done until you reach a new level.
00:22:38.089 --> 00:22:40.730
But if this is year five or year 10 of this,
00:22:40.869 --> 00:22:43.130
then I'm going to push back and say that this
00:22:43.130 --> 00:22:45.970
is more of a reflection on you than it is what
00:22:45.970 --> 00:22:48.349
actually needs to happen. This is what you've
00:22:48.349 --> 00:22:50.180
allowed to happen, and that's different. Now,
00:22:50.180 --> 00:22:52.279
I also want to caution you against the interruption
00:22:52.279 --> 00:22:54.160
spiral. Now, I said at the very beginning, very
00:22:54.160 --> 00:22:56.440
intentionally, that interruptions are not something
00:22:56.440 --> 00:22:58.920
that I count here because if someone needs something
00:22:58.920 --> 00:23:01.980
and it is truly something that needs my attention,
00:23:02.039 --> 00:23:04.039
an emergency or something like that, if you will,
00:23:04.160 --> 00:23:06.779
then I'm going to give that the space that it
00:23:06.779 --> 00:23:08.819
deserves and that it needs. That being said,
00:23:08.900 --> 00:23:12.059
though, the trap is, well, while I'm already
00:23:12.059 --> 00:23:15.130
here, let's blah, blah, blah. And that is a very
00:23:15.130 --> 00:23:18.289
easy trap to fall into. Once you're in that mode,
00:23:18.410 --> 00:23:20.809
the mind is gonna potentially have a trouble
00:23:20.809 --> 00:23:23.210
switching back. And so you really need to evaluate,
00:23:23.410 --> 00:23:27.069
okay, am I activating the flexibility consciously
00:23:27.069 --> 00:23:29.690
and deciding, well, I'm already here, let's just
00:23:29.690 --> 00:23:32.309
work it out. And even after you solve the emergency
00:23:32.309 --> 00:23:34.329
or the problem that came into your attention,
00:23:34.670 --> 00:23:37.369
do you continue working? Make that choice consciously
00:23:37.369 --> 00:23:40.609
and shift the rest to another day and communicate
00:23:40.609 --> 00:23:43.519
that. If not, find a way to pivot out of it.
00:23:43.559 --> 00:23:45.279
Otherwise, you're gonna get stuck, you're gonna
00:23:45.279 --> 00:23:48.119
get trapped, and you are not going to rest. The
00:23:48.119 --> 00:23:49.599
last thing that I see a lot of people object
00:23:49.599 --> 00:23:52.700
with is they feel the guilt to be productive,
00:23:53.039 --> 00:23:55.579
whether it's that your business partner is working
00:23:55.579 --> 00:23:57.259
harder than you and you feel like you have to
00:23:57.259 --> 00:23:59.279
bring more to the table, whether that's real
00:23:59.279 --> 00:24:02.519
or perceived or both. And I find that guilt is
00:24:02.519 --> 00:24:06.140
a very poor type of fuel, like we've talked in
00:24:06.140 --> 00:24:08.940
previous episodes, similar to things like anger
00:24:08.940 --> 00:24:11.359
and frustration. They can sometimes be useful,
00:24:11.430 --> 00:24:14.069
fuel to get you to do certain things that are
00:24:14.069 --> 00:24:17.190
things you should do, but aren't always the best
00:24:17.190 --> 00:24:20.710
fuel and resources to get you there long term
00:24:20.710 --> 00:24:23.150
and arguably not very sustainable either. The
00:24:23.150 --> 00:24:25.509
reason why I mention this is guilt has driven
00:24:25.509 --> 00:24:27.750
a lot of my productivity throughout my life,
00:24:27.809 --> 00:24:30.289
especially as an entrepreneur. And as a result,
00:24:30.349 --> 00:24:32.769
that just leads to doing more and more and more,
00:24:32.890 --> 00:24:35.730
giving up more hobbies, more fun things. And
00:24:35.730 --> 00:24:38.750
I will tell you at the end of it, it wasn't worth
00:24:38.750 --> 00:24:41.470
it. And so now I find myself in this place where
00:24:41.470 --> 00:24:45.009
I'm trying to intentionally introduce appropriate
00:24:45.009 --> 00:24:50.309
levels of fun and space for rest back into the
00:24:50.309 --> 00:24:53.130
recipe. So if any of that sounds familiar to
00:24:53.130 --> 00:24:54.990
you and you're cutting things out to be more
00:24:54.990 --> 00:24:56.970
productive, I understand what you're doing. And
00:24:56.970 --> 00:24:58.609
I would ask you, just look at that, see what
00:24:58.609 --> 00:25:01.750
you're cutting out, see if you are still allowing
00:25:01.750 --> 00:25:04.529
yourself rest and fun in your life. And if you
00:25:04.529 --> 00:25:07.470
are, awesome. If you're headed down the path
00:25:07.470 --> 00:25:09.930
like I was, where you were cutting all of that
00:25:09.930 --> 00:25:12.509
out on a regular basis, then let's take a look
00:25:12.509 --> 00:25:15.710
at that and see if there needs to be some massaging
00:25:15.710 --> 00:25:17.829
and some intentionality worked back in. Now,
00:25:17.829 --> 00:25:20.009
the big question, is this really worth it? Do
00:25:20.009 --> 00:25:23.269
I feel like it works? Yes, I certainly do. I
00:25:23.269 --> 00:25:25.690
definitely do think we are more productive the
00:25:25.690 --> 00:25:28.549
remaining six days of the week than when we just
00:25:28.549 --> 00:25:31.250
hustle through all seven and start the rat race
00:25:31.250 --> 00:25:34.450
over again, feeling more and more worn out. I
00:25:34.450 --> 00:25:36.349
can't explain it. And through the lens of my
00:25:36.349 --> 00:25:38.450
faith, I feel like that's the only way I can
00:25:38.450 --> 00:25:40.349
explain it. If you want to ignore that side,
00:25:40.509 --> 00:25:43.130
that's fine. Just trust me that it works. And
00:25:43.130 --> 00:25:45.329
if you do that, then you'll reap the benefits
00:25:45.329 --> 00:25:47.369
anyway. I see it as a win -win, to be honest.
00:25:47.529 --> 00:25:50.410
Now, because we build in the flexibility and
00:25:50.410 --> 00:25:53.430
some of it lacks structure because it has the
00:25:53.430 --> 00:25:56.450
space for flexibility and the room for interruptions,
00:25:56.470 --> 00:25:59.890
sometimes it works out great. Sometimes it needs
00:25:59.890 --> 00:26:01.990
to be adjusted. And sometimes it just doesn't
00:26:01.990 --> 00:26:04.339
work. So I'll be honest with you on that. It's
00:26:04.339 --> 00:26:06.619
constantly evolving and constantly optimizing.
00:26:06.960 --> 00:26:08.859
But that's why I wanted to share this with you
00:26:08.859 --> 00:26:10.880
because I know it works. I know it has value.
00:26:11.140 --> 00:26:13.640
And I want to give you some concrete ways to
00:26:13.640 --> 00:26:16.460
look at your life and see how you can apply this,
00:26:16.619 --> 00:26:19.680
show you how it worked for me, and give you honest
00:26:19.680 --> 00:26:21.579
reflections on some of the things that we're
00:26:21.579 --> 00:26:24.099
still working out. But I would still, at this
00:26:24.099 --> 00:26:27.019
stage, I still love to have the flexibility and
00:26:27.019 --> 00:26:28.960
the ways to kind of move things around because
00:26:28.960 --> 00:26:31.380
I never know what's coming and what interruptions
00:26:31.380 --> 00:26:33.410
are going to happen. If you don't have that kind
00:26:33.410 --> 00:26:35.329
of structure where you need to worry about those
00:26:35.329 --> 00:26:38.750
interruptions, then you can probably easily schedule,
00:26:38.950 --> 00:26:41.589
more easily schedule something concrete and not
00:26:41.589 --> 00:26:43.750
have to worry about that flexibility buffer there.
00:26:43.849 --> 00:26:46.029
So like all of our applications, this is dependent
00:26:46.029 --> 00:26:49.089
on where you are in this stage. Remember, getting
00:26:49.089 --> 00:26:52.930
your spouse on board is pretty important if it's
00:26:52.930 --> 00:26:55.569
going to be in the same space together. If not,
00:26:55.650 --> 00:26:57.609
you have some freedom and that might work too.
00:26:57.980 --> 00:26:59.799
If this is something that you already do, kind
00:26:59.799 --> 00:27:02.299
of assess what you're doing with that time. If
00:27:02.299 --> 00:27:04.660
you feel like it's getting away from you or it's
00:27:04.660 --> 00:27:07.220
just being consumed by social media and doom
00:27:07.220 --> 00:27:09.220
scrolling and other things that aren't particularly
00:27:09.220 --> 00:27:12.039
productive, then let's start seeing what we can
00:27:12.039 --> 00:27:14.859
fill that time with, things that are fun, enjoyable,
00:27:15.319 --> 00:27:17.720
enriching, and restful for your life. If this
00:27:17.720 --> 00:27:20.339
is absolutely super foreign to you and you have
00:27:20.339 --> 00:27:23.240
no idea, then start with two to four hours a
00:27:23.240 --> 00:27:25.940
week where you can just schedule something fun
00:27:25.940 --> 00:27:29.190
for you to do. that is gonna rejuvenate you and
00:27:29.190 --> 00:27:32.170
your spouse together, even if that is a date
00:27:32.170 --> 00:27:35.089
night or a double date with people you care about.
00:27:35.250 --> 00:27:38.170
Just these intentional moments of time to create
00:27:38.170 --> 00:27:41.329
space, openness, and rest, and leave room for
00:27:41.329 --> 00:27:43.750
joy. So bottom line is, no matter where you are,
00:27:43.869 --> 00:27:47.789
find ways to have intentional rest at least once
00:27:47.789 --> 00:27:50.140
a week. And if you're already doing it, find
00:27:50.140 --> 00:27:53.240
a way to make it more rich, more broad, and more
00:27:53.240 --> 00:27:55.319
intentional. And as always, thanks for listening
00:27:55.319 --> 00:27:57.900
to the Optimizing Beyond podcast. Remember, growth
00:27:57.900 --> 00:28:00.519
happens when you take action. So subscribe, share
00:28:00.519 --> 00:28:02.559
this with a friend, and most importantly, put
00:28:02.559 --> 00:28:04.500
what you learned into practice. Because as we
00:28:04.500 --> 00:28:07.359
know, daily anything changes everything.
