WEBVTT
00:00:35.079 --> 00:00:37.240
Welcome back to Open Minded Healing.
00:00:37.240 --> 00:00:53.560
Today's episode with my guest, Tim Thomas, focuses on how crucial sleep is to our health and specific actions we can all take to reduce the stress which prevents many of us from getting that essential rest that our bodies need.
00:00:53.560 --> 00:01:15.319
Tim will be sharing how his personal experience in the Australian military have given him powerful insights, which have allowed him to create a program that not only helps people in general reclaim their sleep, but has specific applications to helping military vets and first responders improve their health dramatically.
00:01:15.319 --> 00:01:16.599
Welcome, Tim.
00:01:17.079 --> 00:01:18.680
Mala, so great to be here.
00:01:18.680 --> 00:01:20.120
Thanks for having me on.
00:01:20.599 --> 00:01:40.359
So before we dive into this topic and the importance of stress and sleep on our health, I do want the listeners to understand your background, your military background, and kind of what that entailed as far as being an athlete and how you dealt with sleep at that time.
00:01:40.680 --> 00:01:41.000
Yeah.
00:01:41.000 --> 00:01:47.719
So I started my journey like a lot of Western people, push hard, grind, sleep for the dead.
00:01:47.719 --> 00:01:59.560
I was a professional uh athlete before I joined the special forces in the early days of mixed martial arts, but this was in the early, early days where um there was no money in it.
00:01:59.560 --> 00:02:03.400
And back then you could smoke in the bars.
00:02:03.400 --> 00:02:10.040
So you're going out into the ring to do this highly athletic activity, and there's you're coughing up half a lung.
00:02:10.040 --> 00:02:22.599
Um and I was 29 and a half, and they had this advert on TV saying, join the special forces, first time in Australia's history.
00:02:22.599 --> 00:02:27.400
They're recruiting from civilians population into special forces.
00:02:27.400 --> 00:02:32.360
Normally you had to spend two years in a regular infantry battalion before you could even apply.
00:02:32.360 --> 00:02:35.159
And I'm like, well, I'm 29 and a half.
00:02:35.159 --> 00:02:42.199
All the work that I put into being an athlete is not paying the bills, you know, there's there's no money in it.
00:02:42.199 --> 00:02:44.280
I I could only ever earn minimum wage.
00:02:44.280 --> 00:02:46.759
So I thought, well, you know, I wanted to start a family.
00:02:46.759 --> 00:02:51.560
Here's one way to, you know, give them the the life they they wanted to do.
00:02:51.560 --> 00:03:00.840
And I remember I swore in, you know, when you joined, and there was a part of me saying, Tim, you've got second doubts.
00:03:00.840 --> 00:03:04.919
And and for the first time ever, I was unsure if I wanted to do this or not.
00:03:04.919 --> 00:03:09.000
So special forces selection was was hard enough.
00:03:09.000 --> 00:03:13.960
And I had a lot of people telling me, Tim, you know, you're 29 and a half, you're 30, 30 was the maximum age.
00:03:13.960 --> 00:03:17.000
You're too old, don't bother.
00:03:17.000 --> 00:03:22.520
But I think because I grew up in the 70s, just getting your ass kicked every day was normal.
00:03:22.520 --> 00:03:24.599
It was just a Tuesday, you know.
00:03:24.599 --> 00:03:31.639
Um, and I also discovered that when people say you can't do something, that just means they can't do it.
00:03:31.639 --> 00:03:33.639
Uh, and I'm also dyslexic.
00:03:33.639 --> 00:03:38.759
So I I see things uniquely like I'd never been 30 before.
00:03:38.759 --> 00:03:43.560
And should I let other people tell me what I can and can't do at that particular age?
00:03:43.560 --> 00:03:45.960
Because you know, this is the first time we've been this age.
00:03:45.960 --> 00:03:49.400
Should we let others tell us what we can and can't do at this age?
00:03:49.400 --> 00:03:52.199
Well, no, and so I said I'm gonna go for this.
00:03:52.199 --> 00:03:58.919
And on the first week of my boot camp experience, I found out my then wife was pregnant.
00:03:58.919 --> 00:04:03.719
You had to do all this training to get to special forces selection.
00:04:03.719 --> 00:04:12.919
And I did the math, and my son was due to be born on selection, and they're saying, you know, Tim, this is special force of selection.
00:04:12.919 --> 00:04:16.439
You can see your son being born, or you can do selection, you can't do both.
00:04:16.439 --> 00:04:21.159
So there was not just physical duress, there was a lot of emotional duress.
00:04:21.159 --> 00:04:32.360
And if you're going to look at it chemically, a lot of cortisol was being burnt up, and too much cortisol for too long depreciates a lot of systems inside your body.
00:04:32.360 --> 00:04:38.759
And it doesn't happen quickly, it can happen as a slow sort of decline of percentage at a time.
00:04:38.759 --> 00:04:55.000
And the fatigue in the unit, I just noticed at about the three or four year mark, these guys would just have this faraway look in their eye, which we later find out was was adrenal fatigue, low testosterone because cortisol for two high drives your hormonal system into the dirt.
00:04:55.000 --> 00:05:01.720
And in 2011, it was February, I'm at rock bottom and I'm about to kill a man.
00:05:01.720 --> 00:05:07.079
My time in the special forces ended a year earlier, the government wasn't paying me, this would have been murder.
00:05:07.079 --> 00:05:14.680
And I'm in this situation about to murder a guy because everything in my life was falling apart.
00:05:14.680 --> 00:05:19.160
My then wife said, You need to see a psychologist.
00:05:19.160 --> 00:05:20.920
And I'm like, that makes no sense.
00:05:20.920 --> 00:05:24.600
Why would I want to speak to a complete stranger about stuff that I don't want to talk about?
00:05:24.600 --> 00:05:26.439
I don't trust this guy.
00:05:26.439 --> 00:05:40.680
And it was a hard thing talking to this guy, and I realized that I'd paid good money to sit in front of someone who wasn't just incompetent but completely apathetic.
00:05:41.160 --> 00:05:43.079
Can we go back a little bit?
00:05:43.079 --> 00:05:51.720
So when that moment came and you said, you know, you were enraged or you wanted to kill someone, what triggered that and where were you?
00:05:52.040 --> 00:06:04.040
Yeah, so I was in this psychologist's office, and I just told him everything I saw in Afghanistan, my family breaking down, and he wasn't even paying attention.
00:06:04.040 --> 00:06:05.240
He was kind of looking at the roof.
00:06:05.240 --> 00:06:12.040
And once I sort of said it all, he kind of just looked down from the ceiling, snorted, and went, Oh, you think it was a problem with your mum and dad?
00:06:12.040 --> 00:06:14.279
Click.
00:06:14.279 --> 00:06:14.839
Okay.
00:06:14.839 --> 00:06:19.160
This guy says he's a healer, but he's harming people.
00:06:19.160 --> 00:06:26.199
In my start of disconnect, it made a lot of sense to remove him, made a lot of poetic sense to grab that psychology degree and feed it to him.
00:06:26.199 --> 00:06:28.279
And you know, I got a certain skill set.
00:06:28.279 --> 00:06:30.759
Once I set my mind to it, no one could have stopped me doing that.
00:06:30.759 --> 00:06:34.360
And I get out of my chair to do this, and this is where it gets a bit woo-woo.
00:06:34.360 --> 00:06:40.199
I felt like a hand pressure on my chest and the words, three words, never heard before.
00:06:40.199 --> 00:06:41.720
Red flag, Tim.
00:06:41.720 --> 00:06:45.240
And it was enough for me just to pause, right?
00:06:45.240 --> 00:06:53.399
And then this thought came through, Tim, you're the toughest mofo you know, and you are struggling in this system.
00:06:53.399 --> 00:06:56.360
Surely there's other people struggling too.
00:06:56.360 --> 00:07:00.680
And and I sat down, Marler, and that's when I saw them.
00:07:00.680 --> 00:07:13.079
I saw all these people to my left and my right looking in, not judging me, not condemning me, but they're just saying, Tim, if you can find a way forward for you, you can find a way forward for us.
00:07:13.079 --> 00:07:17.079
And something clicked in my head.
00:07:17.079 --> 00:07:28.759
I realized that it it wasn't the emotional pain I was in that was the problem, it was the loneliness, it was the disconnection that I was feeling that had me justifying all sorts of crazy things.
00:07:28.759 --> 00:07:32.519
Like I'm I'm about to murder this guy in my disconnected state.
00:07:32.519 --> 00:07:33.480
That made sense.
00:07:33.480 --> 00:07:44.920
But once all these people appeared left and right of me, that broke my isolation, sort of switched on my intelligence, and I could see things as it was.
00:07:44.920 --> 00:07:49.560
And I'm like, well, as God is my witness, I've got to find a way forward.
00:07:49.560 --> 00:07:50.199
Do I know how?
00:07:50.199 --> 00:07:50.600
No.
00:07:50.600 --> 00:07:59.079
But I have this feeling that if I if it takes me a week, a year, a decade, then that's the amount of time I'm gonna be able to save all these other people.
00:07:59.079 --> 00:08:00.040
Yeah.
00:08:00.600 --> 00:08:03.959
That's amazing, the whole story there.
00:08:03.959 --> 00:08:10.120
The psychologist being so disconnected from what you were sharing.
00:08:10.120 --> 00:08:16.439
And then that something came into your mind just before, you know, a violent act.
00:08:16.439 --> 00:08:31.480
So when you say that there were these people on the left and right of you, is that like in your mind you're picturing all the maybe vets, you know, or is this like a spiritual type of image in your mind?
00:08:32.440 --> 00:08:42.200
Well, good question because I came to this realization through my particular path, which is the veteran path, but it's not unique to veterans.
00:08:42.200 --> 00:09:04.279
The question that I ask people, the golden question I ask is like everyone's up against something, you know, and it doesn't matter if it's cancer, relationship, death, in my case, the veteran recovery space, whatever you're up against, the golden question is how many people do you think are up against what you're up against?
00:09:04.279 --> 00:09:09.559
And and don't just think about it, give it a number, like a tangible number.
00:09:09.559 --> 00:09:14.039
And my tangible number, I'm like, at least a million.
00:09:14.039 --> 00:09:20.519
And so when I saw a million people either side, it helped me see it.
00:09:20.519 --> 00:09:29.240
It doesn't matter how little my progress is, if I can make an inch of progress, I'm actually making a million inches of progress.
00:09:29.240 --> 00:09:34.919
And there's people I haven't even met yet, left and right of me, that are willing me on.
00:09:34.919 --> 00:09:48.519
And I had this feeling that they're gonna say, you know, we're so glad back in 2011 when you're about to kill this guy, that you saw us and you've made choices to move forward and not backwards.
00:09:48.519 --> 00:09:56.279
And I just put it to people wherever you are, whatever you're up against, you have the qualification.
00:09:56.279 --> 00:10:01.639
What you go through gives you the qualification to break the isolation for someone else.
00:10:01.639 --> 00:10:05.399
That's the first thing that is not seen on the spreadsheet.
00:10:05.399 --> 00:10:13.159
And the only one qualified to do it is you that has gone through, let's just say, cancer or a relationship or a death.
00:10:13.159 --> 00:10:19.240
And like I said, so my gift was going through that in the veteran space.
00:10:19.240 --> 00:10:25.000
So then I was qualified to then, you know, share my story, get others to share their story.
00:10:25.000 --> 00:10:33.240
And it's funny when someone's isolation is broken, I could see it in the group because I started running these programs.
00:10:33.240 --> 00:10:40.360
The jaw would kind of pop open and they'd say, I'm gonna keep it clean, but they'd go F bomb.
00:10:40.360 --> 00:10:44.120
I thought I was the only one, and they're just stunned.
00:10:44.120 --> 00:10:46.120
I thought I was the only one.
00:10:46.120 --> 00:10:54.279
And breaking that isolation is the first thing, but it can't stay there because the next thing is getting them out of fatigue.
00:10:54.279 --> 00:11:01.960
And we just noticed if we could do those two things, break the isolation, get them out of fatigue, this inner knowing came out of them.
00:11:01.960 --> 00:11:07.639
You know, their compass always knew where to go, but if it's buried under fatigue and loneliness, it's stuck.
00:11:07.639 --> 00:11:09.000
They can't even see it.
00:11:09.000 --> 00:11:17.799
And and this world loves it when you're fatigued and feeling isolated because it'll give you pills, alcohol, I just call it dopamine over dysfunction.
00:11:17.799 --> 00:11:21.240
And you're paying money to keep yourself dysfunctioning.
00:11:21.240 --> 00:11:27.000
So we had a goal of saving 40 veteran lives from suicide.
00:11:27.000 --> 00:11:29.240
If I achieved that, I would have died happy.
00:11:29.240 --> 00:11:30.759
You know, it was a lifetime goal.
00:11:30.759 --> 00:11:35.159
But that was achieved within 12 months because of those two things.
00:11:35.159 --> 00:11:43.960
There was nothing tying us to a formal structure, we just observed what worked, and I was smart enough that when I ran the programs, I'd always take data before and afterwards.
00:11:43.960 --> 00:11:55.320
This was the data representing that if they attended these groups, had their isolation broken, they did a group activity where they're, you know, outdoors in nature, sleep improved.
00:11:55.320 --> 00:12:00.440
You know, three to five hour group experience, sleep improved up to nine days.
00:12:00.440 --> 00:12:08.120
And we just noticed that if those two simple metrics, all the other measurements improved.
00:12:08.120 --> 00:12:23.320
And it's like there's so many things to treat the symptoms of fatigue and loneliness, but it unless you actually understand it, you're kind of slowing down their recovery, as I've experienced.
00:12:23.720 --> 00:12:27.960
There's so many important aspects of what you've been sharing.
00:12:27.960 --> 00:12:48.840
And one that stands out to me is that when you had that quick revelation, the red flag in that doctor's office where you felt like you were then connected to a larger group of people, how that switched something actually in your brain to make you think more rationally.
00:12:48.840 --> 00:12:55.639
Like just not feeling alone can have that kind of power is tremendous.
00:12:55.639 --> 00:13:06.279
And the fact that you realize that so quickly after and added that element to this program, realizing what a big factor that is.
00:13:06.279 --> 00:13:15.159
And obviously, you've helped a lot of the military vets, but this would be anyone, like you said, experiencing any health crisis.
00:13:15.159 --> 00:13:22.360
A lot of people do feel so isolated from their diseases or whatever they've been diagnosed with.
00:13:22.360 --> 00:13:31.879
So that's incredible that you found this one aspect that is ignored in conventional medicine.
00:13:31.879 --> 00:13:37.799
You know, when you go into the doctor, they're not talking about who do you live with and do you feel lonely?
00:13:37.799 --> 00:13:44.200
I don't remember anyone ever asking me anything like that when I was diagnosed with autoimmune disease.
00:13:44.200 --> 00:13:49.159
Like, you know, are you feeling isolated or did you have support at home?
00:13:49.159 --> 00:13:58.759
What an incredible, I guess, piece of the puzzle that has been missing in healthcare that you have really brought to the forefront here.
00:13:58.759 --> 00:14:12.759
And then the sleep aspect, like you said, when they can then get that sleep, which you're helping them do, how much that improves every aspect of their health from the mental to the physical.
00:14:12.759 --> 00:14:21.720
So what an incredible day that must have been in that doctor's office to turn everything around so dramatically.
00:14:21.720 --> 00:14:29.000
And then to go on and help, like you said, at least 40 vets from committing suicide is unbelievable.
00:14:29.399 --> 00:14:33.080
I'm glad I'm living in the reality where I didn't kill the guy, you know.
00:14:33.080 --> 00:14:47.320
I'm sure in a bunch of other realities teams in jail right now, but it's a painful realization, it's not what we do so much that gives us value to others, it's what we've gone through.
00:14:47.320 --> 00:15:01.799
And going through those things, we would probably choose not to, but going through them, if I could put my veteran speaking again, uh, you might not think you're special, but I bet you've been through some shit.
00:15:01.799 --> 00:15:05.879
And our job is not to live in that, but to turn that shit into fertilizer.
00:15:05.879 --> 00:15:09.240
It's there to help you grow and to help everyone else grow.
00:15:09.240 --> 00:15:14.759
And you help other people stuck in the same place get through that and turn it into fertilizer so much quicker.
00:15:14.759 --> 00:15:24.440
Once you see that, the the last thing I wanted to experience ends up being the most valuable thing that I could offer others.
00:15:24.440 --> 00:15:28.519
And to be honest, it it gave me empathy for others.
00:15:28.519 --> 00:15:36.360
I possibly wouldn't have the same empathy for others had I not had that dark night of the soul.
00:15:36.360 --> 00:15:45.320
And I also observed when people are hurting and vulnerable, they've often been mucked around by supposed healers.
00:15:45.320 --> 00:15:51.799
And I when I say healers, I'm talking, you know, both mainstream and you know, non-mainstream.
00:15:51.799 --> 00:15:53.320
People are very vulnerable.
00:15:53.320 --> 00:15:54.840
Yeah, uh that sounds good.
00:15:54.840 --> 00:15:56.600
Shut up and take my money.
00:15:56.600 --> 00:16:00.440
Years go by, dollars leave your pocket, and you end up blaming yourself.
00:16:00.440 --> 00:16:05.159
And I had a lot of people come to me saying, Look, I tried to get healing, didn't help.
00:16:05.159 --> 00:16:06.120
In fact, it made it worse.
00:16:06.120 --> 00:16:07.799
I'm never doing that again.
00:16:07.799 --> 00:16:24.759
And it's really important to someone who's hurting and vulnerable to be in the presence of someone who's has got that authentic understanding, and they feel, oh, I can drop my guard now because this person's been there.
00:16:24.759 --> 00:16:28.200
And I'll just say this again so everyone's hearing it.
00:16:28.200 --> 00:16:31.399
Like, my blessing is I came to it through the veteran space.
00:16:31.399 --> 00:16:52.440
You could get this from a disease, you could get it from trauma, you could get it from a relationship, whatever that is that you've come through or you're up against that you're trying to get through, you are the person that gives others the most critical part of the healing process, that initial breaking of the isolation.
00:16:52.440 --> 00:16:57.480
And in the same breath of saying that, it can't just be left at breaking isolation.
00:16:57.480 --> 00:17:14.039
Veterans are really good at creating what I call these antisocial social groups, where it's so awesome connecting to other like-minded humans that have been through the same thing, and I can be myself around them for one hour a week, but I'm withdrawn for the for the rest of it.
00:17:14.039 --> 00:17:18.759
You know, so whenever I ran these groups, I always try to treat it like a trampoline.
00:17:18.759 --> 00:17:23.960
You go into it and you leave with more energy to bring who you are to the surface.
00:17:23.960 --> 00:17:35.079
So the people I work with, Marler, are the ones that see healing as the journey that's important, but it gets you to the start line of bringing your gifts into the world.
00:17:35.079 --> 00:17:43.960
The thing that makes you uniquely you, once your healing cycle is done, you get to the starting line of bringing your uniqueness into the world.
00:17:43.960 --> 00:17:45.880
That's what really fascinates me.
00:17:45.880 --> 00:17:55.240
And that's what I found fascinating about simply giving people quality sleep because they had these seeds of uniqueness and greatness in them.
00:17:55.240 --> 00:17:56.839
They're just laying dormant.
00:17:56.839 --> 00:18:04.519
It's really hard to flourish when you're fatigued, but when they're banking this good sleep, it's like these seeds just naturally flourish.
00:18:04.519 --> 00:18:07.160
And you don't know what's in there, you really don't.
00:18:07.160 --> 00:18:12.920
It wasn't because I was a breathwork guy or a sleep guy.
00:18:12.920 --> 00:18:18.440
I'm just my pattern recognition because of my dyslexia is in the top percentile.
00:18:18.440 --> 00:18:28.359
And I'm like, well, this seems to be the most impactful thing I could do for somebody for them to flourish, to bring their gifts into the world.
00:18:28.359 --> 00:18:34.359
Break the isolation, get them out of fatigue, and then you kind of stand back and watch the show.
00:18:34.359 --> 00:18:45.640
So it wasn't because I was those things, it was because I I just saw the simplicity of it and the accessibility of it, the naturalness of it, the immediacy of it.
00:18:45.640 --> 00:18:53.400
And you don't hear about this sort of stuff because there's not a lot of money to be made when people discover their own resources.
00:18:53.400 --> 00:19:02.759
You know, I wouldn't probably be here if I didn't have the empathy because I've been in that space and I lost six years of my life to pills when I said I couldn't sleep.
00:19:02.759 --> 00:19:11.480
So, as God is my witness, I'm never wanting to let anyone else go through that without being aware of some pretty potent, you know, options.
00:19:11.960 --> 00:19:15.960
Yeah, some pretty potent options without all the side effects.
00:19:15.960 --> 00:19:30.839
And like you said, losing all those years of your life to, you know, being on maybe medication that dulls your senses, or I'm not sure what pills you were on or what it did, but I'm sure there were other repercussions to that.
00:19:31.319 --> 00:19:41.000
Well, if I could speak to that with again my pattern recognition, our economy loves it when we're in a state of fatigue because it'll go great.
00:19:41.000 --> 00:19:43.799
I'll give you a short-term energy loan.
00:19:43.799 --> 00:19:47.400
I'll give you $1,000, but you've got to pay back $10,000.
00:19:47.400 --> 00:19:47.880
Okay.
00:19:47.880 --> 00:19:49.640
Here's a cart and a grog.
00:19:49.640 --> 00:19:51.000
That'll make you feel awesome.
00:19:51.000 --> 00:19:54.839
The next day you've got to pay back 10 grand and you're still further in debt.
00:19:54.839 --> 00:19:58.599
Well, let's just keep cycling this energy.
00:19:58.599 --> 00:20:04.680
And so when I'm working with people, I just say, look, think of your energy like money, how you invest, it's how you get it back.
00:20:04.680 --> 00:20:15.880
And it doesn't matter how much you start with, if you knew you had an investment that you invested $1 in and you got $1,000 back, well, then you'd you'd actually keep investing in that wonderful return.
00:20:15.880 --> 00:20:22.440
Everyone has their unique energy portfolio, the thing that they invest energy into that they get a lot back from.
00:20:22.440 --> 00:20:40.359
But a lot of people don't realize if we don't do this for ourselves, if we don't figure out our own unique energy signature, our own unique energy portfolio to invest in to then become a what I call energetic millionaire, then the world will go, no, don't look inside yourself.
00:20:40.359 --> 00:20:41.160
It's all out here.
00:20:41.160 --> 00:20:43.640
Just pay us money and we'll give you something real quick.
00:20:43.640 --> 00:20:56.359
So that's why when I sort of came out of that dark night, I'm like, well, I've I've got to start this conversation and not just find something that works, but make it accessible.
00:20:56.359 --> 00:21:00.519
And again, I only like breathwork because it's so freaking accessible.
00:21:00.519 --> 00:21:02.759
And once you know it, you've got it for the rest of your life.
00:21:02.759 --> 00:21:06.359
You know, there's little things you can do to help keep it regular and all that.
00:21:06.359 --> 00:21:25.160
But I also like it because it's a really disruptive technology in the way that once you access the power underneath your own skin, all that crap outside of you is seen for what it is, you know, a short-term energy loan that you have to pay back, you know, uh so much more.
00:21:25.160 --> 00:21:28.519
And I'm not making anything in this world wrong.
00:21:28.519 --> 00:21:43.319
Everything is there for our benefit, but the imbalance I was in and the lack of awareness of how to create balance had me drinking six to twelve beers before I could even speak to my then wife.
00:21:43.319 --> 00:21:54.200
And no one was saying, hey, here's another option, because there's bottlos everywhere, and the car just magically pulled into the front of it on the drive home.
00:21:54.599 --> 00:21:56.279
Because what was that you just said?
00:21:56.599 --> 00:22:00.759
Well, it was it was funny, but the car would just magically park in front of the bottolo.
00:22:00.759 --> 00:22:01.799
In front of it?
00:22:01.799 --> 00:22:06.839
Did you have that term in the no bottle is is where you get your booze from.
00:22:06.839 --> 00:22:07.720
Oh, okay.
00:22:07.720 --> 00:22:08.119
All right.
00:22:08.119 --> 00:22:09.319
What would you call them?
00:22:09.319 --> 00:22:10.599
Like a liquor store.
00:22:10.599 --> 00:22:11.559
Liquor store.
00:22:11.559 --> 00:22:11.799
Okay.
00:22:11.799 --> 00:22:14.599
So the car would magically park in front of the liquor store.
00:22:14.599 --> 00:22:18.440
And I'm like, oh, look, this is just supposed to be, right?
00:22:18.440 --> 00:22:28.440
And again, so understanding how to change the estate from within your own resources makes a lot of this stuff redundant.
00:22:28.839 --> 00:22:32.119
Yeah, I do like how you emphasized a couple of things.
00:22:32.119 --> 00:22:36.920
One is we do have so Much power within ourselves.
00:22:36.920 --> 00:22:39.960
And people just don't know how to tap into it.
00:22:39.960 --> 00:22:44.519
But you're showing people through the program, which you will get into.
00:22:44.519 --> 00:22:57.799
But the other thing is, like you said, there are people out there that some of them are really great, really inspirational and knowledgeable and can really help people.
00:22:57.799 --> 00:23:14.039
But then there are those when you're in a desperate state that can take advantage of it, or that just maybe read books or went to school for like psychology or something, but they have not lived the experience.
00:23:14.039 --> 00:23:23.480
You know, it's just like people that go to a psychologist with trauma, but it's not a trauma-informed psychologist that they're dealing with.
00:23:23.480 --> 00:23:25.640
That makes a very big difference.
00:23:25.640 --> 00:23:27.400
So you're right.
00:23:27.400 --> 00:23:29.480
It is good to look for those people.
00:23:29.480 --> 00:23:35.799
And you can tell when they talk if they're being genuine, I think, about a lived experience.
00:23:35.799 --> 00:23:39.799
Like I can tell you've actually lived what you're talking about.
00:23:40.279 --> 00:23:46.680
Well, and you know, Marl, I had to be in a very vulnerable position to realize we're not in an age of information.
00:23:46.680 --> 00:23:48.279
Information is seriously empowering.
00:23:48.279 --> 00:23:50.200
Once you have it, it's like boom.
00:23:50.200 --> 00:23:53.960
We're in an age of marketing, first six pages of Google, marketers.
00:23:53.960 --> 00:23:58.279
And the marketers are really good, you know, speaking those words inside your heart.
00:23:58.279 --> 00:23:59.720
Well, that's exactly what I want.
00:23:59.720 --> 00:24:08.359
And they'll give you a small taste of power or peace, but then, you know, years will go by, dollars will leave your pocket, and these people end up blaming themselves.
00:24:08.359 --> 00:24:22.519
And it's in some ways it's not the psychologists' fault in the way that they study really hard, eight, ten years to get their degree, but nobody tells them that the trauma goes down deeper than the words can reach.
00:24:22.519 --> 00:24:30.680
And when I'm talking to military folk, and they get what I'm saying, these psychologists train for eight to ten years to have a rifle that shoots 200 meters.
00:24:30.680 --> 00:24:39.400
They make it look amazing, they can say how well it shoots at 200 meters, but their targets are two kilometers away.
00:24:39.400 --> 00:24:41.000
And these guys are falling short.
00:24:41.000 --> 00:24:47.400
And if you say to a psychologist, listen, this is just not working, they'll just say how awesome they are and how long they've been training.
00:24:47.400 --> 00:24:53.799
So I'm interested, Marla, what modalities worked for you when you were uh looking?
00:24:54.440 --> 00:24:56.440
Well, I would say some of the main ones.
00:24:56.440 --> 00:25:04.920
One was diet, and it was not only eliminating like gluten and dairy and things, but it was eliminating sugar.
00:25:05.319 --> 00:25:05.640
Yep.
00:25:05.960 --> 00:25:12.359
So that was huge to my mental health as well as physical health.
00:25:12.359 --> 00:25:16.440
It changed my brain chemistry, I would say.
00:25:16.440 --> 00:25:20.920
And the other thing was I was very much into meditation.
00:25:20.920 --> 00:25:26.119
So I was meditating every day, sometimes a couple of times a day.
00:25:26.119 --> 00:25:29.240
That was another tremendous help to me.
00:25:29.240 --> 00:25:41.079
And then, you know, I tried other things along the way, but those two stand out as the sort of top two initially when I started the process of finding ways to heal.
00:25:41.480 --> 00:25:41.880
Yeah.
00:25:41.880 --> 00:25:46.920
And you you don't know how much things have got a hold on you until you get rid of them.
00:25:46.920 --> 00:25:54.839
Sugar is one of those things that has people more addicted than they know until they sign cutting it out.
00:25:54.839 --> 00:25:55.480
Yeah.
00:25:55.480 --> 00:25:56.519
Well done.
00:25:57.000 --> 00:25:58.440
So I'm curious.
00:25:58.440 --> 00:26:14.759
After this experience you had, you realize there's an issue, and it's not just with you that so many others are experiencing this loneliness and the fatigue, which is affecting everything, mental and physical health.
00:26:14.759 --> 00:26:24.599
Where did you come up with the idea to like not only address the sleep issues, but bring in breathing techniques, the breath work?
00:26:24.599 --> 00:26:26.359
How did that come to you?
00:26:26.359 --> 00:26:29.240
And also addressing the loneliness.
00:26:29.240 --> 00:26:31.079
How'd you come up with a plan for that?
00:26:31.319 --> 00:26:31.960
Sure, sure.
00:26:31.960 --> 00:26:32.440
Okay.
00:26:32.440 --> 00:26:34.279
Which one do you want me to address first?
00:26:34.279 --> 00:26:35.720
Because there's two different pathways there.
00:26:35.720 --> 00:26:38.359
There was the loneliness, but there's also the breath work.
00:26:38.359 --> 00:26:40.440
Which one do you want me to pull apart first?
00:26:40.759 --> 00:26:46.119
Maybe the loneliness first, and then we'll get into the specifics of the sleep.
00:26:46.440 --> 00:26:47.079
Well, sure.
00:26:47.079 --> 00:27:05.160
So so it wasn't until I was in that space where I'm in that psychologist's office and I'm about to do something I'd probably regret that I saw the danger of being disconnected because at some point in our life we've all felt what it is to feel connected to another human.
00:27:05.160 --> 00:27:17.480
Like Marley, if you knew I had your back 100 freaking percent, without a word of a doubt, and I knew you had my back 100%, everything else becomes a very small detail.
00:27:17.480 --> 00:27:23.160
It's like this human superpower that once it's kicked in, man, bring it on.
00:27:23.160 --> 00:27:24.839
There's nothing we can't handle.
00:27:24.839 --> 00:27:26.680
Nothing we can't handle.
00:27:26.680 --> 00:27:36.279
But if that gets interrupted, if I'm feeling like it's just me in this world because the pain is blocking me from connecting to others, I don't know who to trust.
00:27:36.279 --> 00:27:39.960
I'm trying to protect the the small amount of energy I've got left.
00:27:39.960 --> 00:27:43.480
And the world occurs in two colors, safe or not safe.
00:27:43.480 --> 00:27:47.720
If that person taking from me, you know, you're always scanning for threat.
00:27:47.720 --> 00:28:02.279
So the loneliness I observed was broken by one thing, and that was an authentic conversation from someone who'd gone through what they've gone through.
00:28:02.279 --> 00:28:02.920
All right.
00:28:02.920 --> 00:28:06.680
And I need to emphasize this because a lot of people get this wrong.
00:28:06.680 --> 00:28:16.359
There's one thing to be in a situation, and there's all sorts of people giving all sorts of advice, and they're stuck in that situation, they haven't successfully come through it.
00:28:16.359 --> 00:28:27.160
The only advice I'd give people is listen to people who've gone through what you've gone through and are living an abundant life, the life that they really want to live, the life of their dreams.
00:28:27.160 --> 00:28:32.839
Okay, don't listen to the person who's in it, full of advice, loves the company.
00:28:32.839 --> 00:28:34.839
It's a very low ceiling.
00:28:34.839 --> 00:28:51.400
So in our own journeys, your ability to slingshot people towards where they want to get to is usually from a position of generosity, abundance, and you're in a position where you're giving your gifts into the world.
00:28:51.400 --> 00:28:57.880
So it was in that psychologist's office that I discovered the danger of loneliness and disconnection.
00:28:57.880 --> 00:29:10.920
But then when I created these groups where people in that specific situation would share their story, and I could have done it with any kind of groups, like I said, it could have been cancer or emotional trauma.
00:29:10.920 --> 00:29:19.480
This particular group were veterans, and when a veteran shared their story, we had these jaws popping open and guys going, F-bomb.
00:29:19.480 --> 00:29:21.240
I thought I was the only one.
00:29:21.240 --> 00:29:31.160
And you know, if you look at it from a headspace, you go from your amygdala, fight or flight, to prefrontal cortex where you can actually see things and think through things.
00:29:31.160 --> 00:29:37.480
And realizing that you couldn't leave it there, you had to get them out of fatigue.
00:29:37.480 --> 00:29:39.640
Otherwise, you're going to slide back into it.
00:29:39.640 --> 00:29:40.920
No energy, no options.
00:29:40.920 --> 00:29:43.720
We had to create a better energy investment.
00:29:43.720 --> 00:29:50.599
So, on the back of that, the most easily accessible energy connection I found was breath work.
00:29:50.599 --> 00:29:53.079
And I discovered it in two parts.
00:29:53.079 --> 00:30:02.359
One, when I was in the dirt of Afghanistan, and I was trained for fatigue, but in a war zone, it's not just the physical and mental fatigue.
00:30:02.359 --> 00:30:07.799
Every cell in your body's hurting, but then you know you've lost your mates, you've seen bits blown off others.
00:30:07.799 --> 00:30:11.880
Fatigue is just into a place you've never been before.
00:30:11.880 --> 00:30:13.559
And I'm like, what's the point?
00:30:13.559 --> 00:30:15.720
I'm gonna die in this crap hole.
00:30:15.720 --> 00:30:18.119
I've only got two cents worth of energy.
00:30:18.119 --> 00:30:19.400
What's the point?
00:30:19.400 --> 00:30:27.319
And then there's this part of me that said, Tim, if you've only got two cents worth of energy, you better invest that wisely.
00:30:27.319 --> 00:30:31.799
And so we never got anything you'd call sleep when you're outside the wire.
00:30:31.799 --> 00:30:34.279
But every now and then you could get horizontal in the dirt.
00:30:34.279 --> 00:30:41.480
And instead of just trying to shut my eyes and sleep, and this is where you could call it ancestral knowledge starts kicking in.
00:30:41.480 --> 00:30:48.440
Like when we go beyond our physical abilities, often I believe that ancestral knowledge starts coming through.
00:30:48.440 --> 00:30:54.759
Like we've got all this incredible stuff underneath our skin, but it it's like our world's so comfortable it never has a chance to come out.
00:30:54.759 --> 00:31:12.119
And in this place, this stuff came out, and that was picturing, you know, before trying to sleep, with the two cents of energy I had, I pictured a pinhole in my left thumb, and I just took a big snort of air, like I was breathing down my thumb.
00:31:12.119 --> 00:31:15.720
Okay, no one ever shown me that, but that didn't just feel good.
00:31:15.720 --> 00:31:20.519
When I kept doing it, my thumb turned into white light in my mind's eye.
00:31:20.519 --> 00:31:23.960
And then I pulled it through my pointer finger, and then I went to sleep.
00:31:23.960 --> 00:31:31.720
And instead of two cents worth of energy, I woke up with 20 cents, and that's when I'm like, oh, I don't know what this is, but this energy's like money.
00:31:31.720 --> 00:31:33.559
I'm investing it and I'm getting it back.
00:31:33.559 --> 00:31:37.240
So the next time I got horizontal, I had 20 cents worth of capital.
00:31:37.240 --> 00:31:43.480
I breathed into my thumb, pointer finger, index, ring, pinky, and they turn into white light.
00:31:43.480 --> 00:31:44.839
I woke up with two dollars.
00:31:44.839 --> 00:31:48.279
I'm like, okay, this is all I have in this situation.
00:31:48.279 --> 00:31:52.279
I can't work any harder, but I can sleep better.
00:31:52.279 --> 00:31:55.000
And that was literally the only thing I could be in control of.
00:31:55.000 --> 00:31:57.720
I was a private, I was paid to do what everyone else said, right?
00:31:57.720 --> 00:32:04.039
And it was interesting because when my energy level was low, I could only see life from my perspective.
00:32:04.039 --> 00:32:06.039
Life sucks, screw you.
00:32:06.039 --> 00:32:18.440
But then as my energy increased, my awareness increased, and I became aware that I'm in a team of men, and if they're having a bad day, I'm having a bad day.
00:32:18.440 --> 00:32:23.799
So I need to be in a position to pour into their cups so they can have a good day.
00:32:23.799 --> 00:32:29.319
Because even if I'm being really selfish, Marla, you know, who did I want around me when good times turned bad?
00:32:29.319 --> 00:32:34.039
Did I want fatigued, disconnected people, or rested and connected?
00:32:34.039 --> 00:32:36.839
So, you know, again, I'm pretty thick skinned.
00:32:36.839 --> 00:32:43.240
I had to go to that extreme to realize, yeah, when when the person next to you is stronger, you know, you're stronger.
00:32:43.240 --> 00:32:51.400
But it wasn't until I was going through my divorce that I understood the power of breath work.
00:32:51.400 --> 00:33:10.119
So fast forward, I'd finished in 2010 and I was having a divorce maybe 10 years later, during COVID, and you know, lost house, my home, money, regular access to kids, and I'm I'm sleeping on the couch of my parents' place.
00:33:10.119 --> 00:33:15.480
And there's a war zone going off in my head worse than Afghanistan, and you can bet at 2 a.m.
00:33:15.480 --> 00:33:16.839
I'm not sleeping.
00:33:16.839 --> 00:33:24.359
But the irony was, Marla, my brain knew that for me to create peace, I just needed to breathe.
00:33:24.359 --> 00:33:27.880
But I could not breathe, even though I knew this.
00:33:27.880 --> 00:33:33.880
And that's when I realized that your mind's like a garden, whatever your water grows.
00:33:33.880 --> 00:33:37.000
And I've been watering the weeds of stress and they were loving it.
00:33:37.000 --> 00:33:40.920
And these stress weeds, they don't just take over your head space.
00:33:40.920 --> 00:33:44.279
It's like eyeballs pop out of and they become sentient.
00:33:44.279 --> 00:33:47.480
They become aware of the choices you're making that feeds them.
00:33:47.480 --> 00:33:54.200
And in that moment, they were loving that I was stressed out, and they become hyper-aware of the things that would starve them.
00:33:54.200 --> 00:33:59.640
Okay, when I wanted to feed the positive part of my brain, they're like, Nut, we're taking food that belongs to them.
00:33:59.640 --> 00:34:01.400
We're going to feed ourselves.
00:34:01.400 --> 00:34:06.839
So I was locked down into this state, and I get up, I don't know, it was about 2 a.m.
00:34:06.839 --> 00:34:10.440
and I'm about to do pills, alcohol, self-harm.
00:34:10.440 --> 00:34:15.239
And I'm like, Tim, you can take one breath.
00:34:15.239 --> 00:34:26.199
And I'm looking at my left thumb, take one freaking breath, and I drove it into my chest, and I took this deep inhale, and it was like coming up from the bottom of the ocean.
00:34:26.199 --> 00:34:28.039
And I'm like, Well, this is working.
00:34:28.039 --> 00:34:28.599
Take two.
00:34:28.599 --> 00:34:30.760
I took two fingers, drove into my chest.
00:34:30.760 --> 00:34:34.840
This is working, take three, take four, get to five, get to ten.
00:34:34.840 --> 00:34:46.440
And then somewhere between breath 15 to 20, the chemical reaction took place because breath work isn't meditation, meditation is thoughts controlling thoughts.
00:34:46.440 --> 00:34:49.800
And I had a train wreck in my head, so that wasn't going to work then.
00:34:49.800 --> 00:35:01.639
But the chemical override is a bit like going to the side of your house and pulling the fuse box out, and the stress weeds got kicked out, and the rest of my brain kicked in to gear and said, Tim, this is working, don't stop.
00:35:01.639 --> 00:35:11.880
And it was in that moment where I had just the lowest of the low, and it actually worked.
00:35:11.880 --> 00:35:22.840
I'm like, surely there's other people stuck with their thoughts at 2 a.m., wanting a way out, looking for answers outside of them.
00:35:22.840 --> 00:35:32.679
And so I noticed that you know everyone breathes, but I needed it to be guided for me to get that medicinal response.
00:35:32.679 --> 00:35:39.000
So I started making these stupid recordings, like, hey Tim, breathe in, breathe out, breathe in.
00:35:39.000 --> 00:35:54.519
And it was simple stuff, but it was uh an external focus for my lungs to listen to, and then I could get to that medicinal dose, and then the bliss and the altered state, and the peace, and the power, and the reconnection, the anti-inflammatories.
00:35:54.519 --> 00:35:56.280
That's one thing I discovered about breath work.
00:35:56.280 --> 00:35:57.320
It's anti-inflammatory.
00:35:57.320 --> 00:36:02.199
I've got a lot of chronic injuries, and it was a massive help in that space.
00:36:02.199 --> 00:36:07.800
So I started sort of sharing these silly little voice tracks with my own voice on.
00:36:07.800 --> 00:36:11.159
And guys are saying, This is working, this is great, right?
00:36:11.159 --> 00:36:17.320
And it saved my life so many times having that button to push there at 2 a.m.
00:36:17.320 --> 00:36:22.440
So I woke up, hit that button, and the stress weeds were still there.
00:36:22.440 --> 00:36:27.719
The stress weeds are saying, you know, Tim, breath work is bullshit, it's not gonna work, don't do it.
00:36:27.719 --> 00:36:38.119
But I just hit that button and trusted the fact that, well, I understood the fact that our breath is older wiring than our thinking mind.
00:36:38.119 --> 00:36:44.039
We were breathing before we were thinking, before we were sentient and putting paintings on rock walls, you know.
00:36:44.039 --> 00:36:51.639
So giving people access, like this is like a five-star general, and your brain's like a private that just won't shut up.
00:36:51.639 --> 00:36:57.000
You know, you've got to pull out that five-star general and go, okay, you've got your place and it's not here right now.
00:36:57.000 --> 00:36:59.480
And and it doesn't want that, right?
00:36:59.480 --> 00:37:18.119
And I started running these workshops on army bases, and I got this email from a Louis colonel that said, Look, I didn't attend it, but I had all my sergeants coming up to me saying that was the first good night's sleep they had in three years, four years, five years.
00:37:18.119 --> 00:37:22.760
Um, and he thought it was awesome, but I'm like, that's terrible.
00:37:22.760 --> 00:37:26.039
How much damage is five years of not sleeping doing?
00:37:26.039 --> 00:37:30.519
And I'm always shocked at how society doesn't put any priority on good sleep.
00:37:30.519 --> 00:37:31.719
It almost rewards people.
00:37:31.719 --> 00:37:33.480
Oh, I've had two hours of sleep, had a coffee.
00:37:33.480 --> 00:37:34.360
What's your excuse?
00:37:34.360 --> 00:37:42.440
There's this sort of acceptance of poor sleep, and we're all in this sort of hypnosis of it's normal.
00:37:42.440 --> 00:37:47.079
But I say, you know, if you care about somebody, you you care about their sleep.
00:37:47.559 --> 00:37:54.920
I know there's such an over-emphasis on productivity that goes beyond, especially with all the new technology.
00:37:54.920 --> 00:38:03.159
It used to be like people would silence their phones, or no one would call the house after dinner time or later, like years ago.
00:38:03.320 --> 00:38:03.960
Yeah.
00:38:04.360 --> 00:38:09.960
And now it's like people are on call 24-7 and they're afraid to not pick up the phone.
00:38:09.960 --> 00:38:13.480
People feel like they have to be on all the time.
00:38:14.199 --> 00:38:14.760
Yeah.
00:38:14.760 --> 00:38:18.760
And if you want to destroy somebody, destroy their sleep.
00:38:18.760 --> 00:38:21.159
We used to use it as a tactic in the special forces.
00:38:21.159 --> 00:38:22.840
We'd attack the enemy's sleep.
00:38:22.840 --> 00:38:28.360
We didn't know the science of it, but we we knew if we could take it out for three nights, it would mess them up better than a bullet.
00:38:28.360 --> 00:38:45.800
You know, so I I mean, I don't want to sound like a conspiracy theorist, but I look at the pattern where the economy loves it when we're fatigued because we start believing that this crap outside of us is more important than what's inside of us.
00:38:45.800 --> 00:38:51.159
And that that stuff outside of us is going to do for us what our God-given right is inside of us.
00:38:51.159 --> 00:38:58.199
It's very easy to fall into the trap that what I do is important.
00:38:58.199 --> 00:39:00.840
What I do gives me importance.
00:39:00.840 --> 00:39:04.440
What I do has other people telling me I'm important.
00:39:04.440 --> 00:39:09.480
And if I'm not doing something, then I'm nothing.
00:39:09.480 --> 00:39:11.239
If I'm doing nothing, I am nothing.
00:39:11.239 --> 00:39:13.000
I am worthless, I am valueless.
00:39:13.000 --> 00:39:21.480
And and you know, when you've military tactics dictate you've got to find the enemy's center of gravity, whatever that is.
00:39:21.480 --> 00:39:23.639
It couldn't be something as simple as a good night's sleep.
00:39:23.639 --> 00:39:27.079
Once you off-center that, you've you're starting to win.
00:39:27.079 --> 00:39:40.920
And and you know, my observation around, especially around the poor sleep quality, it seems culturally accepted, is that the algorithms figured out that our center of gravity is our sense of self-worth.
00:39:40.920 --> 00:39:54.039
We want to feel valued, and it knows if it tells us that our value is determinant on things outside of our physical skin, it's gotcha.
00:39:54.039 --> 00:39:55.320
It has got you.
00:39:55.320 --> 00:40:12.280
And I want to share openly here because that switch never clicked for me until post-divorce when I lost house, home, money, kids, access, that I realized everything outside of my own skin I can't control.
00:40:12.280 --> 00:40:17.400
I mean, it's it's kind of obvious, but it was a realized fact.
00:40:17.400 --> 00:40:25.159
And then I'm like, well, if this thing here is the barrier between what I can control and what I can't control, well, guess what?
00:40:25.159 --> 00:40:28.199
We're gonna control what goes on underneath here.
00:40:28.199 --> 00:40:40.360
And this is where the seeking journey happens, that exploration around what is actually underneath our own skin, because most people treat their bodies just like a vehicle that carries their eyeballs around.
00:40:40.360 --> 00:40:50.440
You know, we have no idea, and this information is kind of hidden because once you know it, a lot of this stuff that is seemingly important gets made redundant really quickly.
00:40:50.440 --> 00:40:55.880
And and there's a lot of people out there that have been doing it for so long, they think it's normal.
00:40:55.880 --> 00:41:03.400
It would, it's very challenging to them for them to go, oh, actually, it's not my car that makes me special.
00:41:03.400 --> 00:41:07.960
But I've been doing this my whole life and I've been made to feel bad by other people that had better cars than me.
00:41:07.960 --> 00:41:11.719
And so now it's my identity, and don't tell me I'm not worth anything.
00:41:11.719 --> 00:41:35.800
So there's it wasn't until I had a complete breakdown that I was able to be present to the universal truth that inside of all of us there is this, some call it divine, but you could call it a few things: this peace, this power, this contentment, this um satisfaction that only we can give ourselves.
00:41:36.599 --> 00:41:39.000
Yeah, that is all so true.
00:41:39.000 --> 00:41:50.920
Well, when you were putting this program together and you were testing it out on these other military people, you were showing them, first of all, like community, right?
00:41:50.920 --> 00:41:52.920
You had them all in a room together.
00:41:52.920 --> 00:41:56.679
But how did you maintain that community?
00:41:56.679 --> 00:42:08.679
Like you said, it's great to talk to other people who've had similar experiences, but once you leave that place and you're no longer around them, how are they maintaining Yeah?
00:42:08.840 --> 00:42:20.599
That is such a potent question because uh what you're speaking to there is a lot of people they say, I want to make a big amount of difference in this particular area.
00:42:20.599 --> 00:42:30.440
They might and they think that making a big amount of money, doing a big event, getting all these people together and having this great time and everyone's awesome on the day, but then a week later, what's changed?
00:42:30.440 --> 00:42:31.400
You know?
00:42:31.400 --> 00:42:34.199
I've made a million dollars for charity.
00:42:34.199 --> 00:42:35.480
What's changed?
00:42:35.480 --> 00:42:40.920
So so I I created this unit of measurement being military.
00:42:40.920 --> 00:42:42.679
Um, it's an acronym.
00:42:42.679 --> 00:42:48.280
It's three P's, and I and I kind of say everything I do has to pass my P test, right?
00:42:48.280 --> 00:42:56.920
Um, so everything I do has to be powerful, positive, but the last P is most important, permanent.
00:42:56.920 --> 00:42:58.920
So what you're talking about is permanency.
00:42:58.920 --> 00:43:00.519
What happens when you're not there?
00:43:00.519 --> 00:43:11.079
And do you remember um me talking about that email from that Louis Colonel saying that I'd helped his guys get their first good night's sleep in up to five years?
00:43:11.079 --> 00:43:14.760
He said something there that made me realize I was failing.
00:43:14.760 --> 00:43:18.360
He said, It was good when you're there, but what have you got when you're not there?
00:43:18.360 --> 00:43:22.280
And I'm like, Oh, I've just failed my P test.
00:43:22.280 --> 00:43:24.039
I am not permanent.
00:43:24.039 --> 00:43:30.119
And if we say that we're healers, we can't just care about people today.
00:43:30.119 --> 00:43:33.159
We've got to care about them tomorrow, next week, the next year.
00:43:33.159 --> 00:43:41.159
This is why healers are so rare, because they know they're human, their energy is not enough for two people.
00:43:41.159 --> 00:43:52.599
But what they've got mastery of is a connection to something super powerful, and they will connect you to that powerful thing in far less time than what it took them to.
00:43:52.599 --> 00:44:05.559
So the twofold answer was these programs that I set up then dovetailed into programs outside of the space.
00:44:05.559 --> 00:44:18.280
So if I was running uh a freediving program where people would breathe and go underwater, then it would be opened up to joining free diving organizations outside of that space.
00:44:18.280 --> 00:44:26.920
If I was running uh a men's group, that'd be made presents to other men's groups that they could go into.
00:44:26.920 --> 00:44:32.679
And with the breath work, when that Louis Colonel said, Well, what have you got when you're not there?
00:44:32.679 --> 00:44:34.599
I withdrew from public life.
00:44:34.599 --> 00:44:44.360
For about two years, spent over fifty grand creating the Breathwork Embed app, which it's just a piece of technology.
00:44:44.360 --> 00:44:47.079
And it's not the high tech part of the equation.
00:44:47.079 --> 00:44:52.760
What it gets you access to is the highest tech inside your own lungs regularly.
00:44:52.760 --> 00:44:56.920
And you know, like Uber Eats, you just hit a button and you get it straight away.
00:44:56.920 --> 00:44:59.639
So this is this is how this works.
00:44:59.639 --> 00:45:06.360
You just tell it when you want to sleep, and then it gets Ubered in at that exact moment, and you just, you know, tap and press play.
00:45:06.360 --> 00:45:15.000
So that has been my best attempts at permanency, at giving people access to this powerful thing.
00:45:15.400 --> 00:45:18.920
So you have an app that's called Breath Work in Bed.
00:45:18.920 --> 00:45:28.840
And so when when someone does want to sleep and they're unable to, they can just tap the app and hear these breathing techniques that they follow.
00:45:28.840 --> 00:45:29.719
Is that it?
00:45:29.719 --> 00:45:37.960
And then also, is it through the app where they're connected to other groups that they can continue to speak to other people going through the same thing?
00:45:38.360 --> 00:45:39.320
Yeah, sure, sure.
00:45:39.320 --> 00:45:47.639
So the the work I did in the veteran charities, um, we would connect them to other external sources.
00:45:47.639 --> 00:45:59.559
It gives me much joy that over 10 years ago, these courses that I ran, these guys are still doing free diving courses and all that other stuff, and they're proliferating, you know, in their own separate areas.
00:45:59.559 --> 00:46:07.400
The app, it's unique because it doesn't just give you breath work to turn your bed into a cloud, and it can literally do that for you tonight.
00:46:07.400 --> 00:46:11.079
It in the morning, there's breath work to help get you out of bed.
00:46:11.079 --> 00:46:19.480
And I found that quite a game changer because I'm so used to waking up feeling tired, physical pains from preventable injuries.
00:46:19.480 --> 00:46:24.440
Veterans often call it vultures on the bedhead, like negative thoughts ready to dive into your head.
00:46:24.440 --> 00:46:29.960
And I noticed if I lost the first five minutes of the day with these negative stuff in my head, then I've lost the day.
00:46:29.960 --> 00:46:38.920
So I'm like, well, if I can just have some, you know, press a button, Uber Eats positivity fed in at that critical moment.
00:46:38.920 --> 00:46:42.519
I'm gonna win the first five minutes, I'm gonna win the day.
00:46:42.519 --> 00:46:54.840
And you remember how I said the healing journey gets to a point where you're like, I want to give my gifts into the world generously because I'm in touch with an abundant source.
00:46:54.840 --> 00:47:05.880
Well, I've noticed that generosity is one way to double the current energy you're feeling.
00:47:05.880 --> 00:47:15.719
So it's one thing to wake up with breath work and your feet hit the ground with you connected to your body, not like carrying all this stuck energy.
00:47:15.719 --> 00:47:23.079
Um, and within the app, there's another option where if you okay, you put the good energy into your body, let's put the good energy into your mind.
00:47:23.079 --> 00:47:26.679
So there's affirmations to be said in the mirror.
00:47:26.679 --> 00:47:31.559
And I was so resistant to that because I'm like, that's just so stupid.
00:47:31.559 --> 00:47:35.880
But doing it myself, I couldn't ignore the power of it.
00:47:35.880 --> 00:47:38.360
If it's stupid and it works, it's not stupid.
00:47:38.360 --> 00:47:51.159
So for those people who want it, they can have I just use the term another Uber Eats thing where you're just getting that positivity fed into you while you're in that really critical stage of wakening.
00:47:51.159 --> 00:47:56.039
But within that wake-up routine, you've connected to your body, you've connected to your mind.
00:47:56.039 --> 00:48:01.159
I always ask, do you want to double the energy and connection you're currently feeling?
00:48:01.159 --> 00:48:06.360
Consider the possibility that you connecting to yourself is only half the connection.
00:48:06.360 --> 00:48:12.039
Connecting outside of yourself with an act of generosity can double your energy.
00:48:12.039 --> 00:48:14.360
It's amazingly simple.
00:48:14.360 --> 00:48:19.239
Like you could literally send three words to a friend, good morning, Mala.
00:48:19.239 --> 00:48:20.679
That's it.
00:48:20.679 --> 00:48:24.920
Send that to a few friends for no reason whatsoever.
00:48:24.920 --> 00:48:32.840
That is so simple and yet such a powerful act of generosity, where you're actually getting outside of yourself.
00:48:32.840 --> 00:48:37.320
You know, I would love to have someone say, Good morning, Tim, just as a text.
00:48:37.320 --> 00:48:40.679
So let's be the type of person that does for others.
00:48:40.679 --> 00:48:45.880
And it's funny, all this goodness, peace, power, it almost gets activated.
00:48:45.880 --> 00:48:48.599
It feels like it's sitting behind us on a rope.
00:48:48.599 --> 00:48:52.840
And when we give it to others, it pulls through to us as well.
00:48:52.840 --> 00:49:01.159
And so within the Breathworking Bed app, once people start going, man, I'm feeling really good, I'm banking this sleep, and they're in a space where I'm like, you know what?
00:49:01.159 --> 00:49:02.280
I'm gonna double this.
00:49:02.280 --> 00:49:04.360
I'm actually gonna do an act of generosity.
00:49:04.360 --> 00:49:11.719
So we actually have a generosity news wall, and I call it a news wall because you don't often get a lot of good news on the news.
00:49:11.719 --> 00:49:16.199
And I'm like, wouldn't it be nice to have a positive news feed?
00:49:16.199 --> 00:49:20.599
You know, Tom from Texas took his neighbor's bins in, that sort of stuff.
00:49:20.599 --> 00:49:21.960
What'd you say?
00:49:21.960 --> 00:49:28.440
Like on the generosity news wall, you can see things like oh, you know, Tom from Texas took his neighbors' bins in.
00:49:28.440 --> 00:49:31.239
You know, what's neither bins in?
00:49:31.239 --> 00:49:33.400
Neighbors, neighbors, you know, the neighbors?
00:49:33.400 --> 00:49:36.440
Oh, maybe my Aussie accent didn't do it justice.
00:49:36.760 --> 00:49:39.639
The neighbors' bins in the garbage cans.
00:49:39.639 --> 00:49:40.039
Yeah.
00:49:40.039 --> 00:49:42.519
Got it.
00:49:42.519 --> 00:49:50.599
Well, that's so interesting what you said about the affirmations, like how it seems so silly at first.
00:49:50.599 --> 00:49:56.760
But when you think about it, how many people look in the mirror and give a negative sort of affirmation?
00:49:56.760 --> 00:49:58.519
I mean, you're doing it anyway.
00:49:58.519 --> 00:50:02.039
So it may as well be positive instead of negative.
00:50:02.039 --> 00:50:23.960
And then the other thing, I love how you have that ability for people to share their acts of generosity, because there's been studies done about acts of kindness and how it affects not only the person that's receiving it, but the person who's doing it and also the person that's observing it.
00:50:23.960 --> 00:50:32.920
So if people are reading these other acts of kindness, even on the app wall, that's affecting them as well.
00:50:32.920 --> 00:50:37.559
Not to mention inspiring people to do more of those things.
00:50:37.559 --> 00:50:38.679
I love it.
00:50:39.159 --> 00:50:44.920
It's always shocking how powerful these things are that cost you nothing.
00:50:44.920 --> 00:50:48.599
You know, it's your breath, it's your words.
00:50:48.599 --> 00:50:58.679
And and like you said, if we're not putting positive stuff in our minds, often I don't want to assume, but I am automatically putting negative stuff in there.
00:50:58.679 --> 00:51:03.639
So I have to be really clean on putting positive stuff in there.
00:51:03.639 --> 00:51:09.800
And I know I'm not I'm not lazy, but if there's an easier way to do something, I'll do it, and especially in the mornings.
00:51:09.800 --> 00:51:43.000
So if I've got an easy way to connect to my breath, if I've got an easy way to say my affirmations, it's like you literally your consciousness, instead of getting bombarded with negativity, you're on this positive train track that is just bit by bit, and and so many times, even though I'm the founder of it, so many times I'm like, this is BS, it's not gonna work, this is BS, it's not gonna work, and I'm and I'm breathing and I'm moving and I'm removing the stuck energy, but percentage by percentage by percentage, I'm like, wow, man, this works.
00:51:43.000 --> 00:52:07.880
And I think my blessing is sometimes I get really low and I have to find things that really work in that state of lowness, and the accessibility is key because the world we currently live in, um, I call it the economy of dysfunction, they're really good at giving instant satisfaction.
00:52:07.880 --> 00:52:08.440
Okay.
00:52:08.440 --> 00:52:14.760
So I'm hungry, yeah, you can have terrible takeaway food at the click of a finger.
00:52:14.760 --> 00:52:18.199
You know, the healthy options are there, but they take time.
00:52:18.199 --> 00:52:28.840
So again, what I like about breathwork, it's a quick, easy win that matches the speed of you know the consumer society that we're currently in.
00:52:29.239 --> 00:52:30.280
That's great.
00:52:30.280 --> 00:52:36.039
And I agree with you that the morning is so important because I've done it both ways.
00:52:36.039 --> 00:52:41.960
I've gone to my phone and watched the horrible news first thing, and it's so easy to get addicted to that.
00:52:41.960 --> 00:52:49.400
And then the rest of the day, not only is it not as good, but it goes by too quickly without accomplishing as much.
00:52:49.400 --> 00:53:03.880
Whereas when I've started it with the more meditative stuff, or I listen to some things that are more like affirmations and start your day with that, you're right, it sets the tone for the whole day.
00:53:03.880 --> 00:53:09.960
And then I feel better and I feel more productive and it just goes completely different.
00:53:09.960 --> 00:53:14.679
Just those first 15 minutes of my day, depending on how I start it.
00:53:15.159 --> 00:53:15.639
Yeah.
00:53:15.639 --> 00:53:16.280
Yeah.
00:53:16.280 --> 00:53:21.960
And if we can create an ease of access for people, then it just happens a whole lot easier.
00:53:21.960 --> 00:53:26.280
If I have to do something hard to get the good stuff, it's a bit of a higher bar.
00:53:26.280 --> 00:53:33.960
And, you know, people are fatigued because they've already tried really hard and they don't want to remember I have to do six things before I go to sleep.
00:53:33.960 --> 00:53:34.519
No.
00:53:34.519 --> 00:53:43.719
The joy of this process isn't just getting a good night's sleep, isn't just waking up and you've got a positive experience.
00:53:43.719 --> 00:53:47.880
It is your gifts get brought into the world.
00:53:47.880 --> 00:53:54.679
And I can get people to consider that if you're feeling slow, low, flat, your gifts aren't coming out.
00:53:54.679 --> 00:53:56.920
In fact, you're protecting what's left.
00:53:56.920 --> 00:53:58.679
And there's no holding ground here.
00:53:58.679 --> 00:54:02.119
You're either, you know, flourishing or retreating.
00:54:02.119 --> 00:54:06.920
And I encourage people to think about all the things you'd like to flourish in.
00:54:06.920 --> 00:54:10.280
And it's not about working harder towards them.
00:54:10.280 --> 00:54:15.159
It's about developing your own peace and power, your own rest and restoration.
00:54:15.159 --> 00:54:21.960
So when I'm working with my corporates and they're like sleep when you're dead, because that's their culture, I say think of performance like a pyramid.
00:54:21.960 --> 00:54:29.400
Top of the pyramid, you know, you're achieving what you want in the world, making money, achieving goals, building buildings, whatever it is.
00:54:29.400 --> 00:54:34.840
But the bottom of the pyramid, which is much larger, is your rest, recovery, and healing art forms.
00:54:34.840 --> 00:54:35.320
Okay.
00:54:35.320 --> 00:54:38.920
And if you want to destroy someone, destroy the bottom of the pyramid.
00:54:38.920 --> 00:54:44.519
If you want to say you're over the hill at 30, then ignore the bottom of the pyramid.
00:54:44.519 --> 00:54:51.559
If you want to keep performing through your lifespan and not age like everyone else's ages, pay attention to the bottom of the pyramid.
00:54:51.559 --> 00:55:06.679
It looks nothing like the top, and the top looks nothing like the bottom, but done right, you are in a lot more joyful whole state, not reacting, not being in balance and having to pour dopamine over dysfunction.
00:55:06.679 --> 00:55:09.800
Better quality rest gives better quality performance.
00:55:09.800 --> 00:55:12.679
Better quality performance creates better quality rest.
00:55:12.679 --> 00:55:22.840
Once people understand that they aren't given a set of lungs, they were given a medicine cabinet with a lot of different shelves, and they can alter their state accordingly.
00:55:22.840 --> 00:55:27.960
If they want to punch through the afternoon, there's a breathwork technique that makes you feel better than caffeine.
00:55:27.960 --> 00:55:31.639
If they want to get better sleep, there's a breathwork technique for that.
00:55:31.639 --> 00:55:42.920
If I'm working with high school students, there's a breathwork technique that drops their cortisol and brings their thinking mind into gear when they're, you know, doing their exams.
00:55:42.920 --> 00:55:49.800
But once you have this access, the person who gave it to you is kind of automatically redundant.
00:55:49.800 --> 00:55:52.360
And most people, most marketers never want that.
00:55:52.360 --> 00:55:59.880
So this is why it's rare to get really powerful information because once you've got that, you've got it for the rest of your life, you know?
00:56:00.280 --> 00:56:00.760
Mm-hmm.
00:56:00.760 --> 00:56:07.639
Well, that is amazing that you're doing this for people and sharing such a wealth of information like this.
00:56:07.639 --> 00:56:14.440
Because you truly are coming from a place of wanting to help people, knowing how much it really saved you.
00:56:14.440 --> 00:56:22.440
So, what are some stories you might have of people that have been helped by this app and the information?
00:56:22.840 --> 00:56:29.159
Well, yeah, look, my LinkedIn's blowing up right now because I had a had a guy, someone's quite up in the veteran space.
00:56:29.159 --> 00:56:35.320
He had a watch that measured his sleep, and he was not getting any quality sleep at all.
00:56:35.320 --> 00:56:41.079
And now, after working with me for a short period, um his numbers are off the charts.
00:56:41.079 --> 00:56:53.400
But the most obvious one was a guy who um who I'd known for a few years, and he thought it was so normal that he never mentioned to me that he was an insomniac.
00:56:53.400 --> 00:56:57.000
And for 38 years, he wasn't sleeping properly.
00:56:57.000 --> 00:56:58.039
His name was Chris.
00:56:58.039 --> 00:57:08.119
And I prescribed him some breath work, and I said, You do this and uh let's circle up again in a week.
00:57:08.119 --> 00:57:10.280
Uh eight days later, I checked in.
00:57:10.280 --> 00:57:17.079
He says, Tim, the only time I didn't sleep all the way through was when the dog was barking and it woke me up.
00:57:17.079 --> 00:57:26.039
That was the first time in 38 years he had slept all the way through, and the only thing he did different was breathwork.
00:57:26.039 --> 00:57:31.000
Natural, inbuilt, organic, immediate relief.
00:57:31.000 --> 00:57:35.800
And now this guy is he he's uh an older guy, he's over, he's over 60.
00:57:35.800 --> 00:57:43.079
Now he's actually training to become the world's fastest six-year-old triathlete, you know, in the seniors division.
00:57:43.079 --> 00:57:48.679
Um he actually ended up becoming my business partner as well.
00:57:48.679 --> 00:57:53.239
So that's kind of the the impact when people access their own medicine.
00:57:53.239 --> 00:58:01.719
The only thing I do with the Breathwork Inbed app is show you how to create your breath and get it to a medicinal level.
00:58:01.719 --> 00:58:14.679
Okay, so you know, everyone breathes and you can take a few deep breaths, but if it's a bit like let's just say you've got a headache and you want to take a panodol and you need to take two panodol, well, if you just lick it and put it down, you're not going to get any benefit.
00:58:14.679 --> 00:58:23.480
You do need to be guided into a certain medicinal state to create that effect on your body, as I've experienced it.
00:58:23.800 --> 00:58:25.960
That's so fascinating.
00:58:25.960 --> 00:58:33.960
What about people that were or are vets that were struggling because of something like PTSD?
00:58:33.960 --> 00:58:43.480
Do you have a story of someone like that that it really helped and really helped their depression or anxiety as a side effect?
00:58:44.280 --> 00:58:51.159
Well, like I mentioned, one or two guys a week in the first year of doing this would come up and go, you know, do you remember that conversation?
00:58:51.159 --> 00:58:52.280
Do you remember that event?
00:58:52.280 --> 00:58:56.519
And I'm like, Yeah, I guess, you know, because I I did a lot.
00:58:56.519 --> 00:59:03.320
And he goes, Well, after that one conversation, I had everything I needed to in the car to kill myself, and I chose not to.
00:59:03.320 --> 00:59:06.840
That was happening once, sometimes twice a week.
00:59:06.840 --> 00:59:33.480
Speaking to exact terms, like I didn't have the metrics in place to measure, let's say someone's you know, depressed or you know, PDSD and the percentage of which they recovered, but I can honestly say this they would reach out to me years after the event and say, Tim, I'm now doing this, this, this, serving my community, doing this, this, this, I've got full-time employment, I've got a family.
00:59:33.480 --> 00:59:36.039
You know, my my daughter and I have got a great relationship.
00:59:36.039 --> 00:59:43.480
So there's there's all these things that really happened, but could I honestly quantify what was transformed?
00:59:43.480 --> 00:59:48.920
All I can say was there was something not working, and then it was working.
00:59:48.920 --> 01:00:04.760
And these people had what they needed inside of them to make it work, and all I did was just pulled away the things that were stopping their inner knowing coming out, which was loneliness, fatigue.
01:00:04.760 --> 01:00:10.679
And they then moved into these much more happy lives.
01:00:10.679 --> 01:00:20.360
Of course, I've got a a lot of testimonials and all that sort of stuff, but to give exact data on you know mental health and PDSD, I I don't have access to that.
01:00:20.679 --> 01:00:22.760
No, you answered that perfectly.
01:00:22.760 --> 01:00:31.719
I mean, that's all you need are those testimonials of people that were feeling so lost beforehand and then transformed their lives.
01:00:31.719 --> 01:00:33.320
That's amazing.
01:00:33.320 --> 01:00:36.360
So I have three questions I like to ask.
01:00:36.360 --> 01:00:36.840
Yeah.
01:00:36.840 --> 01:00:42.280
When someone's gone through some difficult things and come out the other side, like you have.
01:00:42.280 --> 01:00:57.000
When you were going through the most difficult times when you lost everything, or right before you went to the psychologist's office, what was the biggest obstacle, do you think, to you?
01:00:57.320 --> 01:00:58.840
In getting healing?
01:00:59.159 --> 01:01:04.519
Yeah, like when you were in the process of then trying to heal yourself.
01:01:05.000 --> 01:01:05.480
Got it.
01:01:05.639 --> 01:01:05.880
Yeah.
01:01:06.119 --> 01:01:07.880
I can answer that very succinctly.
01:01:07.880 --> 01:01:11.239
Uh, you know how guys don't like stopping and asking for directions?
01:01:11.239 --> 01:01:13.159
Because that means we don't know something.
01:01:13.159 --> 01:01:17.639
So let's build upon that.
01:01:17.639 --> 01:01:23.880
There's certain ways of being which make you think that if I'm weak, I'll let the team down.
01:01:23.880 --> 01:01:26.440
And I'll die before I let the team down.
01:01:26.440 --> 01:01:29.159
And asking for help makes me look weak.
01:01:29.159 --> 01:01:31.639
And I don't want to let the team down.
01:01:31.639 --> 01:01:43.800
And we kind of kill ourselves and impact everyone around us by having this belief that we don't even know we have that yeah, asking for help means you're weak.
01:01:43.800 --> 01:01:45.960
And we're gonna let others down.
01:01:45.960 --> 01:01:47.559
We have to be the strong one.
01:01:47.559 --> 01:01:53.400
So that was the main obstacle, the idea that asking for help.
01:01:53.400 --> 01:02:09.239
It was too scary to comprehend that I could be the one letting my team down, I could be the one letting my family down, I could be the one causing pain to my family.
01:02:09.239 --> 01:02:14.599
You know, I'll I'll die before I let anything happen to my family, but you know, it's a hell of a pill.
01:02:14.840 --> 01:02:17.880
Well, what was the biggest lesson you learned along the way?
01:02:18.440 --> 01:02:23.239
Done right, all the shit we go through is meant to be for fertilizer.
01:02:23.239 --> 01:02:25.320
We're not supposed to stay in it.
01:02:25.320 --> 01:02:33.639
It's the biggest blessing, even though you sometimes wouldn't wish it on your worst enemy.
01:02:33.639 --> 01:02:42.360
The biggest blessing is to be put through those low moments where you've just been you just have to admit I can't do this.
01:02:42.360 --> 01:02:43.800
I got nothing.
01:02:43.800 --> 01:02:47.000
My strength is not enough, my wisdom's not enough.
01:02:47.000 --> 01:02:51.320
And in that place, magic can happen.
01:02:51.320 --> 01:03:00.360
Things come out of nowhere, and I think people get to that place through modeling behavior of others.
01:03:00.360 --> 01:03:08.599
They get to that place a lot quicker when they've got people to model, oh, that person was gentle, then vulnerable, and he had a breakthrough.
01:03:08.599 --> 01:03:14.440
That's a lot more impactful than trying to get there on your own, you know.
01:03:15.800 --> 01:03:19.960
What was the kindest thing someone did for you during that time?
01:03:20.840 --> 01:03:28.840
A kindred spirit once had a conversation with me that made me feel incredibly valued.
01:03:28.840 --> 01:03:35.639
And I didn't know it at the time, that she was the head of a particular research organization.
01:03:35.639 --> 01:03:41.159
It was Gallipoli Medical Research Organization, uh, and it's quite a big thing in Australia.
01:03:41.159 --> 01:03:44.280
We created tools for veterans that actually work.
01:03:44.280 --> 01:03:55.239
Now, I didn't know that at the time, but she just held that space with me, and that just cracks something inside of me like it's like everything's gonna be okay.
01:03:55.239 --> 01:03:59.719
You know, the power of a stranger, I guess, was what really landed with me.
01:03:59.719 --> 01:04:09.800
The power of a stranger and was so great not to be like famous because strangers are super powerful, and that was the gift within the gift.
01:04:09.800 --> 01:04:29.880
Now, I'd actually since gone on, me and a team of people raised $1.3 million in charity for Gallipoli Medical Research, along with uh another chosen charity, but all that happened on the back of this one stranger looking at me and holding a really clean space.
01:04:29.880 --> 01:04:35.639
And something filled that space that was completely unexpected and incredibly rewarding.
01:04:35.639 --> 01:04:37.960
And it cost them nothing, you know.
01:04:38.280 --> 01:04:43.400
So, do you mean she held the space like to listen to your story and listen to you?
01:04:43.719 --> 01:04:44.119
No, no, no.
01:04:44.119 --> 01:04:47.239
It was a conversation where she just held no judgment.
01:04:47.239 --> 01:04:51.480
She was just having a conversation, no judgment as a stranger.
01:04:51.480 --> 01:04:55.639
And I sensed it and it was palpable, and it'd been years since I'd had that.
01:04:56.039 --> 01:05:06.440
Yeah, sometimes the most powerful moments do come from strangers, that there's no expectation on either side, and you can just have a genuine, heartfelt moment.
01:05:06.440 --> 01:05:12.119
So, where can people find you or find this app?
01:05:12.119 --> 01:05:20.440
And is there any last thing you want to share with people to give them whether it's hope or inspiration or a healing tip?
01:05:21.159 --> 01:05:21.559
Sure.
01:05:21.559 --> 01:05:27.320
Well, to answer your first question, I have social media, but the world doesn't need more social media.
01:05:27.320 --> 01:05:31.639
Okay, if you do want to reach out, sure, breathwork in bed, that's across the range.
01:05:31.639 --> 01:05:35.719
Um, I often work with leaders who want to create spaces for their people.
01:05:35.719 --> 01:05:41.719
I'm a designer of a performance standard in Australia, which has the success standard of sleep.
01:05:41.719 --> 01:05:51.239
But for those people that say, look, I just want a better night's sleep tonight, simply get out your phone and put in breath work in bed in your app store.
01:05:51.239 --> 01:05:53.000
Breath work, one word, in bed.
01:05:53.000 --> 01:05:54.599
Gift for everyone today.
01:05:54.599 --> 01:05:56.440
There's a 28-day free period.
01:05:56.440 --> 01:05:57.800
Hit that button.
01:05:57.800 --> 01:06:00.519
You can trial it for 28 days, no expense.
01:06:00.519 --> 01:06:04.360
You just tell it when you want to sleep, when you want to wake up, we take care of the rest.
01:06:04.360 --> 01:06:07.239
Because tired people don't want to remember six things.
01:06:07.239 --> 01:06:16.280
And what I'd love to leave people with is consider your 2026 with quality sleep.
01:06:16.280 --> 01:06:19.800
Consider the goals you want to achieve with quality sleep.
01:06:19.800 --> 01:06:22.679
Consider how long you want to live with quality sleep.
01:06:22.679 --> 01:06:25.719
Sleep is the soil from which everything grows.
01:06:25.719 --> 01:06:32.440
And all those dormant seeds of greatness and uniqueness that are inside of a person naturally flourish.
01:06:32.440 --> 01:06:34.039
And that's the exciting part.
01:06:34.039 --> 01:06:37.559
Sleep is just the stepping stone into that flourishing.
01:06:37.559 --> 01:06:46.920
And that's what brings me the greatest joy because when people start flourishing because of good quality sleep, not from grinding away, you start seeing colors you've never seen before.
01:06:46.920 --> 01:06:49.400
And it's amazing to be around.
01:06:49.960 --> 01:06:51.800
Great note to end on.
01:06:51.800 --> 01:06:59.400
I appreciate you being on here and giving not just hope for people, especially the vets.
01:06:59.400 --> 01:07:08.760
And we didn't really get into first responders, but first responders as well that go through a lot of different traumas, but also for people in general.
01:07:08.760 --> 01:07:11.719
There's so many insomniacs out there.
01:07:11.719 --> 01:07:22.360
So to know that there might be hope for them and to not only enhance their sleep, but to enhance their health and their vitality.
01:07:22.360 --> 01:07:30.519
You know, we're all living longer, I guess, these days, but we want to live it with vitality and in the best shape we can be in.
01:07:30.519 --> 01:07:37.480
So I just think you have brought a tremendous wealth of information and insight and lots of inspiration.
01:07:37.480 --> 01:07:39.480
So I appreciate you being here.
01:07:39.960 --> 01:07:43.800
Mala, thank you for holding such wonderful, gentle, feminine space.
01:07:43.800 --> 01:07:48.039
And I get the feeling that it it wasn't just a good experience for us to have this conversation.
01:07:48.039 --> 01:07:51.639
I feel like it's doing good outside of this.
01:07:51.639 --> 01:07:55.480
And I I really want to acknowledge all those people that really listened.
01:07:55.480 --> 01:07:59.800
Because, you know, at the end of this, there's probably people that go, nah, whatever.
01:07:59.800 --> 01:08:01.719
But then there's those people that go, you know what?
01:08:01.719 --> 01:08:03.079
There's something here.
01:08:03.079 --> 01:08:04.760
Let's look into this.
01:08:04.760 --> 01:08:06.840
And the goal is to flourish.
01:08:06.840 --> 01:08:09.079
And it's so wonderful to be in the presence of that.
00:00:35.079 --> 00:00:37.240
Welcome back to Open Minded Healing.
00:00:37.240 --> 00:00:53.560
Today's episode with my guest, Tim Thomas, focuses on how crucial sleep is to our health and specific actions we can all take to reduce the stress which prevents many of us from getting that essential rest that our bodies need.
00:00:53.560 --> 00:01:15.319
Tim will be sharing how his personal experience in the Australian military have given him powerful insights, which have allowed him to create a program that not only helps people in general reclaim their sleep, but has specific applications to helping military vets and first responders improve their health dramatically.
00:01:15.319 --> 00:01:16.599
Welcome, Tim.
00:01:17.079 --> 00:01:18.680
Mala, so great to be here.
00:01:18.680 --> 00:01:20.120
Thanks for having me on.
00:01:20.599 --> 00:01:40.359
So before we dive into this topic and the importance of stress and sleep on our health, I do want the listeners to understand your background, your military background, and kind of what that entailed as far as being an athlete and how you dealt with sleep at that time.
00:01:40.680 --> 00:01:41.000
Yeah.
00:01:41.000 --> 00:01:47.719
So I started my journey like a lot of Western people, push hard, grind, sleep for the dead.
00:01:47.719 --> 00:01:59.560
I was a professional uh athlete before I joined the special forces in the early days of mixed martial arts, but this was in the early, early days where um there was no money in it.
00:01:59.560 --> 00:02:03.400
And back then you could smoke in the bars.
00:02:03.400 --> 00:02:10.040
So you're going out into the ring to do this highly athletic activity, and there's you're coughing up half a lung.
00:02:10.040 --> 00:02:22.599
Um and I was 29 and a half, and they had this advert on TV saying, join the special forces, first time in Australia's history.
00:02:22.599 --> 00:02:27.400
They're recruiting from civilians population into special forces.
00:02:27.400 --> 00:02:32.360
Normally you had to spend two years in a regular infantry battalion before you could even apply.
00:02:32.360 --> 00:02:35.159
And I'm like, well, I'm 29 and a half.
00:02:35.159 --> 00:02:42.199
All the work that I put into being an athlete is not paying the bills, you know, there's there's no money in it.
00:02:42.199 --> 00:02:44.280
I I could only ever earn minimum wage.
00:02:44.280 --> 00:02:46.759
So I thought, well, you know, I wanted to start a family.
00:02:46.759 --> 00:02:51.560
Here's one way to, you know, give them the the life they they wanted to do.
00:02:51.560 --> 00:03:00.840
And I remember I swore in, you know, when you joined, and there was a part of me saying, Tim, you've got second doubts.
00:03:00.840 --> 00:03:04.919
And and for the first time ever, I was unsure if I wanted to do this or not.
00:03:04.919 --> 00:03:09.000
So special forces selection was was hard enough.
00:03:09.000 --> 00:03:13.960
And I had a lot of people telling me, Tim, you know, you're 29 and a half, you're 30, 30 was the maximum age.
00:03:13.960 --> 00:03:17.000
You're too old, don't bother.
00:03:17.000 --> 00:03:22.520
But I think because I grew up in the 70s, just getting your ass kicked every day was normal.
00:03:22.520 --> 00:03:24.599
It was just a Tuesday, you know.
00:03:24.599 --> 00:03:31.639
Um, and I also discovered that when people say you can't do something, that just means they can't do it.
00:03:31.639 --> 00:03:33.639
Uh, and I'm also dyslexic.
00:03:33.639 --> 00:03:38.759
So I I see things uniquely like I'd never been 30 before.
00:03:38.759 --> 00:03:43.560
And should I let other people tell me what I can and can't do at that particular age?
00:03:43.560 --> 00:03:45.960
Because you know, this is the first time we've been this age.
00:03:45.960 --> 00:03:49.400
Should we let others tell us what we can and can't do at this age?
00:03:49.400 --> 00:03:52.199
Well, no, and so I said I'm gonna go for this.
00:03:52.199 --> 00:03:58.919
And on the first week of my boot camp experience, I found out my then wife was pregnant.
00:03:58.919 --> 00:04:03.719
You had to do all this training to get to special forces selection.
00:04:03.719 --> 00:04:12.919
And I did the math, and my son was due to be born on selection, and they're saying, you know, Tim, this is special force of selection.
00:04:12.919 --> 00:04:16.439
You can see your son being born, or you can do selection, you can't do both.
00:04:16.439 --> 00:04:21.159
So there was not just physical duress, there was a lot of emotional duress.
00:04:21.159 --> 00:04:32.360
And if you're going to look at it chemically, a lot of cortisol was being burnt up, and too much cortisol for too long depreciates a lot of systems inside your body.
00:04:32.360 --> 00:04:38.759
And it doesn't happen quickly, it can happen as a slow sort of decline of percentage at a time.
00:04:38.759 --> 00:04:55.000
And the fatigue in the unit, I just noticed at about the three or four year mark, these guys would just have this faraway look in their eye, which we later find out was was adrenal fatigue, low testosterone because cortisol for two high drives your hormonal system into the dirt.
00:04:55.000 --> 00:05:01.720
And in 2011, it was February, I'm at rock bottom and I'm about to kill a man.
00:05:01.720 --> 00:05:07.079
My time in the special forces ended a year earlier, the government wasn't paying me, this would have been murder.
00:05:07.079 --> 00:05:14.680
And I'm in this situation about to murder a guy because everything in my life was falling apart.
00:05:14.680 --> 00:05:19.160
My then wife said, You need to see a psychologist.
00:05:19.160 --> 00:05:20.920
And I'm like, that makes no sense.
00:05:20.920 --> 00:05:24.600
Why would I want to speak to a complete stranger about stuff that I don't want to talk about?
00:05:24.600 --> 00:05:26.439
I don't trust this guy.
00:05:26.439 --> 00:05:40.680
And it was a hard thing talking to this guy, and I realized that I'd paid good money to sit in front of someone who wasn't just incompetent but completely apathetic.
00:05:41.160 --> 00:05:43.079
Can we go back a little bit?
00:05:43.079 --> 00:05:51.720
So when that moment came and you said, you know, you were enraged or you wanted to kill someone, what triggered that and where were you?
00:05:52.040 --> 00:06:04.040
Yeah, so I was in this psychologist's office, and I just told him everything I saw in Afghanistan, my family breaking down, and he wasn't even paying attention.
00:06:04.040 --> 00:06:05.240
He was kind of looking at the roof.
00:06:05.240 --> 00:06:12.040
And once I sort of said it all, he kind of just looked down from the ceiling, snorted, and went, Oh, you think it was a problem with your mum and dad?
00:06:12.040 --> 00:06:14.279
Click.
00:06:14.279 --> 00:06:14.839
Okay.
00:06:14.839 --> 00:06:19.160
This guy says he's a healer, but he's harming people.
00:06:19.160 --> 00:06:26.199
In my start of disconnect, it made a lot of sense to remove him, made a lot of poetic sense to grab that psychology degree and feed it to him.
00:06:26.199 --> 00:06:28.279
And you know, I got a certain skill set.
00:06:28.279 --> 00:06:30.759
Once I set my mind to it, no one could have stopped me doing that.
00:06:30.759 --> 00:06:34.360
And I get out of my chair to do this, and this is where it gets a bit woo-woo.
00:06:34.360 --> 00:06:40.199
I felt like a hand pressure on my chest and the words, three words, never heard before.
00:06:40.199 --> 00:06:41.720
Red flag, Tim.
00:06:41.720 --> 00:06:45.240
And it was enough for me just to pause, right?
00:06:45.240 --> 00:06:53.399
And then this thought came through, Tim, you're the toughest mofo you know, and you are struggling in this system.
00:06:53.399 --> 00:06:56.360
Surely there's other people struggling too.
00:06:56.360 --> 00:07:00.680
And and I sat down, Marler, and that's when I saw them.
00:07:00.680 --> 00:07:13.079
I saw all these people to my left and my right looking in, not judging me, not condemning me, but they're just saying, Tim, if you can find a way forward for you, you can find a way forward for us.
00:07:13.079 --> 00:07:17.079
And something clicked in my head.
00:07:17.079 --> 00:07:28.759
I realized that it it wasn't the emotional pain I was in that was the problem, it was the loneliness, it was the disconnection that I was feeling that had me justifying all sorts of crazy things.
00:07:28.759 --> 00:07:32.519
Like I'm I'm about to murder this guy in my disconnected state.
00:07:32.519 --> 00:07:33.480
That made sense.
00:07:33.480 --> 00:07:44.920
But once all these people appeared left and right of me, that broke my isolation, sort of switched on my intelligence, and I could see things as it was.
00:07:44.920 --> 00:07:49.560
And I'm like, well, as God is my witness, I've got to find a way forward.
00:07:49.560 --> 00:07:50.199
Do I know how?
00:07:50.199 --> 00:07:50.600
No.
00:07:50.600 --> 00:07:59.079
But I have this feeling that if I if it takes me a week, a year, a decade, then that's the amount of time I'm gonna be able to save all these other people.
00:07:59.079 --> 00:08:00.040
Yeah.
00:08:00.600 --> 00:08:03.959
That's amazing, the whole story there.
00:08:03.959 --> 00:08:10.120
The psychologist being so disconnected from what you were sharing.
00:08:10.120 --> 00:08:16.439
And then that something came into your mind just before, you know, a violent act.
00:08:16.439 --> 00:08:31.480
So when you say that there were these people on the left and right of you, is that like in your mind you're picturing all the maybe vets, you know, or is this like a spiritual type of image in your mind?
00:08:32.440 --> 00:08:42.200
Well, good question because I came to this realization through my particular path, which is the veteran path, but it's not unique to veterans.
00:08:42.200 --> 00:09:04.279
The question that I ask people, the golden question I ask is like everyone's up against something, you know, and it doesn't matter if it's cancer, relationship, death, in my case, the veteran recovery space, whatever you're up against, the golden question is how many people do you think are up against what you're up against?
00:09:04.279 --> 00:09:09.559
And and don't just think about it, give it a number, like a tangible number.
00:09:09.559 --> 00:09:14.039
And my tangible number, I'm like, at least a million.
00:09:14.039 --> 00:09:20.519
And so when I saw a million people either side, it helped me see it.
00:09:20.519 --> 00:09:29.240
It doesn't matter how little my progress is, if I can make an inch of progress, I'm actually making a million inches of progress.
00:09:29.240 --> 00:09:34.919
And there's people I haven't even met yet, left and right of me, that are willing me on.
00:09:34.919 --> 00:09:48.519
And I had this feeling that they're gonna say, you know, we're so glad back in 2011 when you're about to kill this guy, that you saw us and you've made choices to move forward and not backwards.
00:09:48.519 --> 00:09:56.279
And I just put it to people wherever you are, whatever you're up against, you have the qualification.
00:09:56.279 --> 00:10:01.639
What you go through gives you the qualification to break the isolation for someone else.
00:10:01.639 --> 00:10:05.399
That's the first thing that is not seen on the spreadsheet.
00:10:05.399 --> 00:10:13.159
And the only one qualified to do it is you that has gone through, let's just say, cancer or a relationship or a death.
00:10:13.159 --> 00:10:19.240
And like I said, so my gift was going through that in the veteran space.
00:10:19.240 --> 00:10:25.000
So then I was qualified to then, you know, share my story, get others to share their story.
00:10:25.000 --> 00:10:33.240
And it's funny when someone's isolation is broken, I could see it in the group because I started running these programs.
00:10:33.240 --> 00:10:40.360
The jaw would kind of pop open and they'd say, I'm gonna keep it clean, but they'd go F bomb.
00:10:40.360 --> 00:10:44.120
I thought I was the only one, and they're just stunned.
00:10:44.120 --> 00:10:46.120
I thought I was the only one.
00:10:46.120 --> 00:10:54.279
And breaking that isolation is the first thing, but it can't stay there because the next thing is getting them out of fatigue.
00:10:54.279 --> 00:11:01.960
And we just noticed if we could do those two things, break the isolation, get them out of fatigue, this inner knowing came out of them.
00:11:01.960 --> 00:11:07.639
You know, their compass always knew where to go, but if it's buried under fatigue and loneliness, it's stuck.
00:11:07.639 --> 00:11:09.000
They can't even see it.
00:11:09.000 --> 00:11:17.799
And and this world loves it when you're fatigued and feeling isolated because it'll give you pills, alcohol, I just call it dopamine over dysfunction.
00:11:17.799 --> 00:11:21.240
And you're paying money to keep yourself dysfunctioning.
00:11:21.240 --> 00:11:27.000
So we had a goal of saving 40 veteran lives from suicide.
00:11:27.000 --> 00:11:29.240
If I achieved that, I would have died happy.
00:11:29.240 --> 00:11:30.759
You know, it was a lifetime goal.
00:11:30.759 --> 00:11:35.159
But that was achieved within 12 months because of those two things.
00:11:35.159 --> 00:11:43.960
There was nothing tying us to a formal structure, we just observed what worked, and I was smart enough that when I ran the programs, I'd always take data before and afterwards.
00:11:43.960 --> 00:11:55.320
This was the data representing that if they attended these groups, had their isolation broken, they did a group activity where they're, you know, outdoors in nature, sleep improved.
00:11:55.320 --> 00:12:00.440
You know, three to five hour group experience, sleep improved up to nine days.
00:12:00.440 --> 00:12:08.120
And we just noticed that if those two simple metrics, all the other measurements improved.
00:12:08.120 --> 00:12:23.320
And it's like there's so many things to treat the symptoms of fatigue and loneliness, but it unless you actually understand it, you're kind of slowing down their recovery, as I've experienced.
00:12:23.720 --> 00:12:27.960
There's so many important aspects of what you've been sharing.
00:12:27.960 --> 00:12:48.840
And one that stands out to me is that when you had that quick revelation, the red flag in that doctor's office where you felt like you were then connected to a larger group of people, how that switched something actually in your brain to make you think more rationally.
00:12:48.840 --> 00:12:55.639
Like just not feeling alone can have that kind of power is tremendous.
00:12:55.639 --> 00:13:06.279
And the fact that you realize that so quickly after and added that element to this program, realizing what a big factor that is.
00:13:06.279 --> 00:13:15.159
And obviously, you've helped a lot of the military vets, but this would be anyone, like you said, experiencing any health crisis.
00:13:15.159 --> 00:13:22.360
A lot of people do feel so isolated from their diseases or whatever they've been diagnosed with.
00:13:22.360 --> 00:13:31.879
So that's incredible that you found this one aspect that is ignored in conventional medicine.
00:13:31.879 --> 00:13:37.799
You know, when you go into the doctor, they're not talking about who do you live with and do you feel lonely?
00:13:37.799 --> 00:13:44.200
I don't remember anyone ever asking me anything like that when I was diagnosed with autoimmune disease.
00:13:44.200 --> 00:13:49.159
Like, you know, are you feeling isolated or did you have support at home?
00:13:49.159 --> 00:13:58.759
What an incredible, I guess, piece of the puzzle that has been missing in healthcare that you have really brought to the forefront here.
00:13:58.759 --> 00:14:12.759
And then the sleep aspect, like you said, when they can then get that sleep, which you're helping them do, how much that improves every aspect of their health from the mental to the physical.
00:14:12.759 --> 00:14:21.720
So what an incredible day that must have been in that doctor's office to turn everything around so dramatically.
00:14:21.720 --> 00:14:29.000
And then to go on and help, like you said, at least 40 vets from committing suicide is unbelievable.
00:14:29.399 --> 00:14:33.080
I'm glad I'm living in the reality where I didn't kill the guy, you know.
00:14:33.080 --> 00:14:47.320
I'm sure in a bunch of other realities teams in jail right now, but it's a painful realization, it's not what we do so much that gives us value to others, it's what we've gone through.
00:14:47.320 --> 00:15:01.799
And going through those things, we would probably choose not to, but going through them, if I could put my veteran speaking again, uh, you might not think you're special, but I bet you've been through some shit.
00:15:01.799 --> 00:15:05.879
And our job is not to live in that, but to turn that shit into fertilizer.
00:15:05.879 --> 00:15:09.240
It's there to help you grow and to help everyone else grow.
00:15:09.240 --> 00:15:14.759
And you help other people stuck in the same place get through that and turn it into fertilizer so much quicker.
00:15:14.759 --> 00:15:24.440
Once you see that, the the last thing I wanted to experience ends up being the most valuable thing that I could offer others.
00:15:24.440 --> 00:15:28.519
And to be honest, it it gave me empathy for others.
00:15:28.519 --> 00:15:36.360
I possibly wouldn't have the same empathy for others had I not had that dark night of the soul.
00:15:36.360 --> 00:15:45.320
And I also observed when people are hurting and vulnerable, they've often been mucked around by supposed healers.
00:15:45.320 --> 00:15:51.799
And I when I say healers, I'm talking, you know, both mainstream and you know, non-mainstream.
00:15:51.799 --> 00:15:53.320
People are very vulnerable.
00:15:53.320 --> 00:15:54.840
Yeah, uh that sounds good.
00:15:54.840 --> 00:15:56.600
Shut up and take my money.
00:15:56.600 --> 00:16:00.440
Years go by, dollars leave your pocket, and you end up blaming yourself.
00:16:00.440 --> 00:16:05.159
And I had a lot of people come to me saying, Look, I tried to get healing, didn't help.
00:16:05.159 --> 00:16:06.120
In fact, it made it worse.
00:16:06.120 --> 00:16:07.799
I'm never doing that again.
00:16:07.799 --> 00:16:24.759
And it's really important to someone who's hurting and vulnerable to be in the presence of someone who's has got that authentic understanding, and they feel, oh, I can drop my guard now because this person's been there.
00:16:24.759 --> 00:16:28.200
And I'll just say this again so everyone's hearing it.
00:16:28.200 --> 00:16:31.399
Like, my blessing is I came to it through the veteran space.
00:16:31.399 --> 00:16:52.440
You could get this from a disease, you could get it from trauma, you could get it from a relationship, whatever that is that you've come through or you're up against that you're trying to get through, you are the person that gives others the most critical part of the healing process, that initial breaking of the isolation.
00:16:52.440 --> 00:16:57.480
And in the same breath of saying that, it can't just be left at breaking isolation.
00:16:57.480 --> 00:17:14.039
Veterans are really good at creating what I call these antisocial social groups, where it's so awesome connecting to other like-minded humans that have been through the same thing, and I can be myself around them for one hour a week, but I'm withdrawn for the for the rest of it.
00:17:14.039 --> 00:17:18.759
You know, so whenever I ran these groups, I always try to treat it like a trampoline.
00:17:18.759 --> 00:17:23.960
You go into it and you leave with more energy to bring who you are to the surface.
00:17:23.960 --> 00:17:35.079
So the people I work with, Marler, are the ones that see healing as the journey that's important, but it gets you to the start line of bringing your gifts into the world.
00:17:35.079 --> 00:17:43.960
The thing that makes you uniquely you, once your healing cycle is done, you get to the starting line of bringing your uniqueness into the world.
00:17:43.960 --> 00:17:45.880
That's what really fascinates me.
00:17:45.880 --> 00:17:55.240
And that's what I found fascinating about simply giving people quality sleep because they had these seeds of uniqueness and greatness in them.
00:17:55.240 --> 00:17:56.839
They're just laying dormant.
00:17:56.839 --> 00:18:04.519
It's really hard to flourish when you're fatigued, but when they're banking this good sleep, it's like these seeds just naturally flourish.
00:18:04.519 --> 00:18:07.160
And you don't know what's in there, you really don't.
00:18:07.160 --> 00:18:12.920
It wasn't because I was a breathwork guy or a sleep guy.
00:18:12.920 --> 00:18:18.440
I'm just my pattern recognition because of my dyslexia is in the top percentile.
00:18:18.440 --> 00:18:28.359
And I'm like, well, this seems to be the most impactful thing I could do for somebody for them to flourish, to bring their gifts into the world.
00:18:28.359 --> 00:18:34.359
Break the isolation, get them out of fatigue, and then you kind of stand back and watch the show.
00:18:34.359 --> 00:18:45.640
So it wasn't because I was those things, it was because I I just saw the simplicity of it and the accessibility of it, the naturalness of it, the immediacy of it.
00:18:45.640 --> 00:18:53.400
And you don't hear about this sort of stuff because there's not a lot of money to be made when people discover their own resources.
00:18:53.400 --> 00:19:02.759
You know, I wouldn't probably be here if I didn't have the empathy because I've been in that space and I lost six years of my life to pills when I said I couldn't sleep.
00:19:02.759 --> 00:19:11.480
So, as God is my witness, I'm never wanting to let anyone else go through that without being aware of some pretty potent, you know, options.
00:19:11.960 --> 00:19:15.960
Yeah, some pretty potent options without all the side effects.
00:19:15.960 --> 00:19:30.839
And like you said, losing all those years of your life to, you know, being on maybe medication that dulls your senses, or I'm not sure what pills you were on or what it did, but I'm sure there were other repercussions to that.
00:19:31.319 --> 00:19:41.000
Well, if I could speak to that with again my pattern recognition, our economy loves it when we're in a state of fatigue because it'll go great.
00:19:41.000 --> 00:19:43.799
I'll give you a short-term energy loan.
00:19:43.799 --> 00:19:47.400
I'll give you $1,000, but you've got to pay back $10,000.
00:19:47.400 --> 00:19:47.880
Okay.
00:19:47.880 --> 00:19:49.640
Here's a cart and a grog.
00:19:49.640 --> 00:19:51.000
That'll make you feel awesome.
00:19:51.000 --> 00:19:54.839
The next day you've got to pay back 10 grand and you're still further in debt.
00:19:54.839 --> 00:19:58.599
Well, let's just keep cycling this energy.
00:19:58.599 --> 00:20:04.680
And so when I'm working with people, I just say, look, think of your energy like money, how you invest, it's how you get it back.
00:20:04.680 --> 00:20:15.880
And it doesn't matter how much you start with, if you knew you had an investment that you invested $1 in and you got $1,000 back, well, then you'd you'd actually keep investing in that wonderful return.
00:20:15.880 --> 00:20:22.440
Everyone has their unique energy portfolio, the thing that they invest energy into that they get a lot back from.
00:20:22.440 --> 00:20:40.359
But a lot of people don't realize if we don't do this for ourselves, if we don't figure out our own unique energy signature, our own unique energy portfolio to invest in to then become a what I call energetic millionaire, then the world will go, no, don't look inside yourself.
00:20:40.359 --> 00:20:41.160
It's all out here.
00:20:41.160 --> 00:20:43.640
Just pay us money and we'll give you something real quick.
00:20:43.640 --> 00:20:56.359
So that's why when I sort of came out of that dark night, I'm like, well, I've I've got to start this conversation and not just find something that works, but make it accessible.
00:20:56.359 --> 00:21:00.519
And again, I only like breathwork because it's so freaking accessible.
00:21:00.519 --> 00:21:02.759
And once you know it, you've got it for the rest of your life.
00:21:02.759 --> 00:21:06.359
You know, there's little things you can do to help keep it regular and all that.
00:21:06.359 --> 00:21:25.160
But I also like it because it's a really disruptive technology in the way that once you access the power underneath your own skin, all that crap outside of you is seen for what it is, you know, a short-term energy loan that you have to pay back, you know, uh so much more.
00:21:25.160 --> 00:21:28.519
And I'm not making anything in this world wrong.
00:21:28.519 --> 00:21:43.319
Everything is there for our benefit, but the imbalance I was in and the lack of awareness of how to create balance had me drinking six to twelve beers before I could even speak to my then wife.
00:21:43.319 --> 00:21:54.200
And no one was saying, hey, here's another option, because there's bottlos everywhere, and the car just magically pulled into the front of it on the drive home.
00:21:54.599 --> 00:21:56.279
Because what was that you just said?
00:21:56.599 --> 00:22:00.759
Well, it was it was funny, but the car would just magically park in front of the bottolo.
00:22:00.759 --> 00:22:01.799
In front of it?
00:22:01.799 --> 00:22:06.839
Did you have that term in the no bottle is is where you get your booze from.
00:22:06.839 --> 00:22:07.720
Oh, okay.
00:22:07.720 --> 00:22:08.119
All right.
00:22:08.119 --> 00:22:09.319
What would you call them?
00:22:09.319 --> 00:22:10.599
Like a liquor store.
00:22:10.599 --> 00:22:11.559
Liquor store.
00:22:11.559 --> 00:22:11.799
Okay.
00:22:11.799 --> 00:22:14.599
So the car would magically park in front of the liquor store.
00:22:14.599 --> 00:22:18.440
And I'm like, oh, look, this is just supposed to be, right?
00:22:18.440 --> 00:22:28.440
And again, so understanding how to change the estate from within your own resources makes a lot of this stuff redundant.
00:22:28.839 --> 00:22:32.119
Yeah, I do like how you emphasized a couple of things.
00:22:32.119 --> 00:22:36.920
One is we do have so Much power within ourselves.
00:22:36.920 --> 00:22:39.960
And people just don't know how to tap into it.
00:22:39.960 --> 00:22:44.519
But you're showing people through the program, which you will get into.
00:22:44.519 --> 00:22:57.799
But the other thing is, like you said, there are people out there that some of them are really great, really inspirational and knowledgeable and can really help people.
00:22:57.799 --> 00:23:14.039
But then there are those when you're in a desperate state that can take advantage of it, or that just maybe read books or went to school for like psychology or something, but they have not lived the experience.
00:23:14.039 --> 00:23:23.480
You know, it's just like people that go to a psychologist with trauma, but it's not a trauma-informed psychologist that they're dealing with.
00:23:23.480 --> 00:23:25.640
That makes a very big difference.
00:23:25.640 --> 00:23:27.400
So you're right.
00:23:27.400 --> 00:23:29.480
It is good to look for those people.
00:23:29.480 --> 00:23:35.799
And you can tell when they talk if they're being genuine, I think, about a lived experience.
00:23:35.799 --> 00:23:39.799
Like I can tell you've actually lived what you're talking about.
00:23:40.279 --> 00:23:46.680
Well, and you know, Marl, I had to be in a very vulnerable position to realize we're not in an age of information.
00:23:46.680 --> 00:23:48.279
Information is seriously empowering.
00:23:48.279 --> 00:23:50.200
Once you have it, it's like boom.
00:23:50.200 --> 00:23:53.960
We're in an age of marketing, first six pages of Google, marketers.
00:23:53.960 --> 00:23:58.279
And the marketers are really good, you know, speaking those words inside your heart.
00:23:58.279 --> 00:23:59.720
Well, that's exactly what I want.
00:23:59.720 --> 00:24:08.359
And they'll give you a small taste of power or peace, but then, you know, years will go by, dollars will leave your pocket, and these people end up blaming themselves.
00:24:08.359 --> 00:24:22.519
And it's in some ways it's not the psychologists' fault in the way that they study really hard, eight, ten years to get their degree, but nobody tells them that the trauma goes down deeper than the words can reach.
00:24:22.519 --> 00:24:30.680
And when I'm talking to military folk, and they get what I'm saying, these psychologists train for eight to ten years to have a rifle that shoots 200 meters.
00:24:30.680 --> 00:24:39.400
They make it look amazing, they can say how well it shoots at 200 meters, but their targets are two kilometers away.
00:24:39.400 --> 00:24:41.000
And these guys are falling short.
00:24:41.000 --> 00:24:47.400
And if you say to a psychologist, listen, this is just not working, they'll just say how awesome they are and how long they've been training.
00:24:47.400 --> 00:24:53.799
So I'm interested, Marla, what modalities worked for you when you were uh looking?
00:24:54.440 --> 00:24:56.440
Well, I would say some of the main ones.
00:24:56.440 --> 00:25:04.920
One was diet, and it was not only eliminating like gluten and dairy and things, but it was eliminating sugar.
00:25:05.319 --> 00:25:05.640
Yep.
00:25:05.960 --> 00:25:12.359
So that was huge to my mental health as well as physical health.
00:25:12.359 --> 00:25:16.440
It changed my brain chemistry, I would say.
00:25:16.440 --> 00:25:20.920
And the other thing was I was very much into meditation.
00:25:20.920 --> 00:25:26.119
So I was meditating every day, sometimes a couple of times a day.
00:25:26.119 --> 00:25:29.240
That was another tremendous help to me.
00:25:29.240 --> 00:25:41.079
And then, you know, I tried other things along the way, but those two stand out as the sort of top two initially when I started the process of finding ways to heal.
00:25:41.480 --> 00:25:41.880
Yeah.
00:25:41.880 --> 00:25:46.920
And you you don't know how much things have got a hold on you until you get rid of them.
00:25:46.920 --> 00:25:54.839
Sugar is one of those things that has people more addicted than they know until they sign cutting it out.
00:25:54.839 --> 00:25:55.480
Yeah.
00:25:55.480 --> 00:25:56.519
Well done.
00:25:57.000 --> 00:25:58.440
So I'm curious.
00:25:58.440 --> 00:26:14.759
After this experience you had, you realize there's an issue, and it's not just with you that so many others are experiencing this loneliness and the fatigue, which is affecting everything, mental and physical health.
00:26:14.759 --> 00:26:24.599
Where did you come up with the idea to like not only address the sleep issues, but bring in breathing techniques, the breath work?
00:26:24.599 --> 00:26:26.359
How did that come to you?
00:26:26.359 --> 00:26:29.240
And also addressing the loneliness.
00:26:29.240 --> 00:26:31.079
How'd you come up with a plan for that?
00:26:31.319 --> 00:26:31.960
Sure, sure.
00:26:31.960 --> 00:26:32.440
Okay.
00:26:32.440 --> 00:26:34.279
Which one do you want me to address first?
00:26:34.279 --> 00:26:35.720
Because there's two different pathways there.
00:26:35.720 --> 00:26:38.359
There was the loneliness, but there's also the breath work.
00:26:38.359 --> 00:26:40.440
Which one do you want me to pull apart first?
00:26:40.759 --> 00:26:46.119
Maybe the loneliness first, and then we'll get into the specifics of the sleep.
00:26:46.440 --> 00:26:47.079
Well, sure.
00:26:47.079 --> 00:27:05.160
So so it wasn't until I was in that space where I'm in that psychologist's office and I'm about to do something I'd probably regret that I saw the danger of being disconnected because at some point in our life we've all felt what it is to feel connected to another human.
00:27:05.160 --> 00:27:17.480
Like Marley, if you knew I had your back 100 freaking percent, without a word of a doubt, and I knew you had my back 100%, everything else becomes a very small detail.
00:27:17.480 --> 00:27:23.160
It's like this human superpower that once it's kicked in, man, bring it on.
00:27:23.160 --> 00:27:24.839
There's nothing we can't handle.
00:27:24.839 --> 00:27:26.680
Nothing we can't handle.
00:27:26.680 --> 00:27:36.279
But if that gets interrupted, if I'm feeling like it's just me in this world because the pain is blocking me from connecting to others, I don't know who to trust.
00:27:36.279 --> 00:27:39.960
I'm trying to protect the the small amount of energy I've got left.
00:27:39.960 --> 00:27:43.480
And the world occurs in two colors, safe or not safe.
00:27:43.480 --> 00:27:47.720
If that person taking from me, you know, you're always scanning for threat.
00:27:47.720 --> 00:28:02.279
So the loneliness I observed was broken by one thing, and that was an authentic conversation from someone who'd gone through what they've gone through.
00:28:02.279 --> 00:28:02.920
All right.
00:28:02.920 --> 00:28:06.680
And I need to emphasize this because a lot of people get this wrong.
00:28:06.680 --> 00:28:16.359
There's one thing to be in a situation, and there's all sorts of people giving all sorts of advice, and they're stuck in that situation, they haven't successfully come through it.
00:28:16.359 --> 00:28:27.160
The only advice I'd give people is listen to people who've gone through what you've gone through and are living an abundant life, the life that they really want to live, the life of their dreams.
00:28:27.160 --> 00:28:32.839
Okay, don't listen to the person who's in it, full of advice, loves the company.
00:28:32.839 --> 00:28:34.839
It's a very low ceiling.
00:28:34.839 --> 00:28:51.400
So in our own journeys, your ability to slingshot people towards where they want to get to is usually from a position of generosity, abundance, and you're in a position where you're giving your gifts into the world.
00:28:51.400 --> 00:28:57.880
So it was in that psychologist's office that I discovered the danger of loneliness and disconnection.
00:28:57.880 --> 00:29:10.920
But then when I created these groups where people in that specific situation would share their story, and I could have done it with any kind of groups, like I said, it could have been cancer or emotional trauma.
00:29:10.920 --> 00:29:19.480
This particular group were veterans, and when a veteran shared their story, we had these jaws popping open and guys going, F-bomb.
00:29:19.480 --> 00:29:21.240
I thought I was the only one.
00:29:21.240 --> 00:29:31.160
And you know, if you look at it from a headspace, you go from your amygdala, fight or flight, to prefrontal cortex where you can actually see things and think through things.
00:29:31.160 --> 00:29:37.480
And realizing that you couldn't leave it there, you had to get them out of fatigue.
00:29:37.480 --> 00:29:39.640
Otherwise, you're going to slide back into it.
00:29:39.640 --> 00:29:40.920
No energy, no options.
00:29:40.920 --> 00:29:43.720
We had to create a better energy investment.
00:29:43.720 --> 00:29:50.599
So, on the back of that, the most easily accessible energy connection I found was breath work.
00:29:50.599 --> 00:29:53.079
And I discovered it in two parts.
00:29:53.079 --> 00:30:02.359
One, when I was in the dirt of Afghanistan, and I was trained for fatigue, but in a war zone, it's not just the physical and mental fatigue.
00:30:02.359 --> 00:30:07.799
Every cell in your body's hurting, but then you know you've lost your mates, you've seen bits blown off others.
00:30:07.799 --> 00:30:11.880
Fatigue is just into a place you've never been before.
00:30:11.880 --> 00:30:13.559
And I'm like, what's the point?
00:30:13.559 --> 00:30:15.720
I'm gonna die in this crap hole.
00:30:15.720 --> 00:30:18.119
I've only got two cents worth of energy.
00:30:18.119 --> 00:30:19.400
What's the point?
00:30:19.400 --> 00:30:27.319
And then there's this part of me that said, Tim, if you've only got two cents worth of energy, you better invest that wisely.
00:30:27.319 --> 00:30:31.799
And so we never got anything you'd call sleep when you're outside the wire.
00:30:31.799 --> 00:30:34.279
But every now and then you could get horizontal in the dirt.
00:30:34.279 --> 00:30:41.480
And instead of just trying to shut my eyes and sleep, and this is where you could call it ancestral knowledge starts kicking in.
00:30:41.480 --> 00:30:48.440
Like when we go beyond our physical abilities, often I believe that ancestral knowledge starts coming through.
00:30:48.440 --> 00:30:54.759
Like we've got all this incredible stuff underneath our skin, but it it's like our world's so comfortable it never has a chance to come out.
00:30:54.759 --> 00:31:12.119
And in this place, this stuff came out, and that was picturing, you know, before trying to sleep, with the two cents of energy I had, I pictured a pinhole in my left thumb, and I just took a big snort of air, like I was breathing down my thumb.
00:31:12.119 --> 00:31:15.720
Okay, no one ever shown me that, but that didn't just feel good.
00:31:15.720 --> 00:31:20.519
When I kept doing it, my thumb turned into white light in my mind's eye.
00:31:20.519 --> 00:31:23.960
And then I pulled it through my pointer finger, and then I went to sleep.
00:31:23.960 --> 00:31:31.720
And instead of two cents worth of energy, I woke up with 20 cents, and that's when I'm like, oh, I don't know what this is, but this energy's like money.
00:31:31.720 --> 00:31:33.559
I'm investing it and I'm getting it back.
00:31:33.559 --> 00:31:37.240
So the next time I got horizontal, I had 20 cents worth of capital.
00:31:37.240 --> 00:31:43.480
I breathed into my thumb, pointer finger, index, ring, pinky, and they turn into white light.
00:31:43.480 --> 00:31:44.839
I woke up with two dollars.
00:31:44.839 --> 00:31:48.279
I'm like, okay, this is all I have in this situation.
00:31:48.279 --> 00:31:52.279
I can't work any harder, but I can sleep better.
00:31:52.279 --> 00:31:55.000
And that was literally the only thing I could be in control of.
00:31:55.000 --> 00:31:57.720
I was a private, I was paid to do what everyone else said, right?
00:31:57.720 --> 00:32:04.039
And it was interesting because when my energy level was low, I could only see life from my perspective.
00:32:04.039 --> 00:32:06.039
Life sucks, screw you.
00:32:06.039 --> 00:32:18.440
But then as my energy increased, my awareness increased, and I became aware that I'm in a team of men, and if they're having a bad day, I'm having a bad day.
00:32:18.440 --> 00:32:23.799
So I need to be in a position to pour into their cups so they can have a good day.
00:32:23.799 --> 00:32:29.319
Because even if I'm being really selfish, Marla, you know, who did I want around me when good times turned bad?
00:32:29.319 --> 00:32:34.039
Did I want fatigued, disconnected people, or rested and connected?
00:32:34.039 --> 00:32:36.839
So, you know, again, I'm pretty thick skinned.
00:32:36.839 --> 00:32:43.240
I had to go to that extreme to realize, yeah, when when the person next to you is stronger, you know, you're stronger.
00:32:43.240 --> 00:32:51.400
But it wasn't until I was going through my divorce that I understood the power of breath work.
00:32:51.400 --> 00:33:10.119
So fast forward, I'd finished in 2010 and I was having a divorce maybe 10 years later, during COVID, and you know, lost house, my home, money, regular access to kids, and I'm I'm sleeping on the couch of my parents' place.
00:33:10.119 --> 00:33:15.480
And there's a war zone going off in my head worse than Afghanistan, and you can bet at 2 a.m.
00:33:15.480 --> 00:33:16.839
I'm not sleeping.
00:33:16.839 --> 00:33:24.359
But the irony was, Marla, my brain knew that for me to create peace, I just needed to breathe.
00:33:24.359 --> 00:33:27.880
But I could not breathe, even though I knew this.
00:33:27.880 --> 00:33:33.880
And that's when I realized that your mind's like a garden, whatever your water grows.
00:33:33.880 --> 00:33:37.000
And I've been watering the weeds of stress and they were loving it.
00:33:37.000 --> 00:33:40.920
And these stress weeds, they don't just take over your head space.
00:33:40.920 --> 00:33:44.279
It's like eyeballs pop out of and they become sentient.
00:33:44.279 --> 00:33:47.480
They become aware of the choices you're making that feeds them.
00:33:47.480 --> 00:33:54.200
And in that moment, they were loving that I was stressed out, and they become hyper-aware of the things that would starve them.
00:33:54.200 --> 00:33:59.640
Okay, when I wanted to feed the positive part of my brain, they're like, Nut, we're taking food that belongs to them.
00:33:59.640 --> 00:34:01.400
We're going to feed ourselves.
00:34:01.400 --> 00:34:06.839
So I was locked down into this state, and I get up, I don't know, it was about 2 a.m.
00:34:06.839 --> 00:34:10.440
and I'm about to do pills, alcohol, self-harm.
00:34:10.440 --> 00:34:15.239
And I'm like, Tim, you can take one breath.
00:34:15.239 --> 00:34:26.199
And I'm looking at my left thumb, take one freaking breath, and I drove it into my chest, and I took this deep inhale, and it was like coming up from the bottom of the ocean.
00:34:26.199 --> 00:34:28.039
And I'm like, Well, this is working.
00:34:28.039 --> 00:34:28.599
Take two.
00:34:28.599 --> 00:34:30.760
I took two fingers, drove into my chest.
00:34:30.760 --> 00:34:34.840
This is working, take three, take four, get to five, get to ten.
00:34:34.840 --> 00:34:46.440
And then somewhere between breath 15 to 20, the chemical reaction took place because breath work isn't meditation, meditation is thoughts controlling thoughts.
00:34:46.440 --> 00:34:49.800
And I had a train wreck in my head, so that wasn't going to work then.
00:34:49.800 --> 00:35:01.639
But the chemical override is a bit like going to the side of your house and pulling the fuse box out, and the stress weeds got kicked out, and the rest of my brain kicked in to gear and said, Tim, this is working, don't stop.
00:35:01.639 --> 00:35:11.880
And it was in that moment where I had just the lowest of the low, and it actually worked.
00:35:11.880 --> 00:35:22.840
I'm like, surely there's other people stuck with their thoughts at 2 a.m., wanting a way out, looking for answers outside of them.
00:35:22.840 --> 00:35:32.679
And so I noticed that you know everyone breathes, but I needed it to be guided for me to get that medicinal response.
00:35:32.679 --> 00:35:39.000
So I started making these stupid recordings, like, hey Tim, breathe in, breathe out, breathe in.
00:35:39.000 --> 00:35:54.519
And it was simple stuff, but it was uh an external focus for my lungs to listen to, and then I could get to that medicinal dose, and then the bliss and the altered state, and the peace, and the power, and the reconnection, the anti-inflammatories.
00:35:54.519 --> 00:35:56.280
That's one thing I discovered about breath work.
00:35:56.280 --> 00:35:57.320
It's anti-inflammatory.
00:35:57.320 --> 00:36:02.199
I've got a lot of chronic injuries, and it was a massive help in that space.
00:36:02.199 --> 00:36:07.800
So I started sort of sharing these silly little voice tracks with my own voice on.
00:36:07.800 --> 00:36:11.159
And guys are saying, This is working, this is great, right?
00:36:11.159 --> 00:36:17.320
And it saved my life so many times having that button to push there at 2 a.m.
00:36:17.320 --> 00:36:22.440
So I woke up, hit that button, and the stress weeds were still there.
00:36:22.440 --> 00:36:27.719
The stress weeds are saying, you know, Tim, breath work is bullshit, it's not gonna work, don't do it.
00:36:27.719 --> 00:36:38.119
But I just hit that button and trusted the fact that, well, I understood the fact that our breath is older wiring than our thinking mind.
00:36:38.119 --> 00:36:44.039
We were breathing before we were thinking, before we were sentient and putting paintings on rock walls, you know.
00:36:44.039 --> 00:36:51.639
So giving people access, like this is like a five-star general, and your brain's like a private that just won't shut up.
00:36:51.639 --> 00:36:57.000
You know, you've got to pull out that five-star general and go, okay, you've got your place and it's not here right now.
00:36:57.000 --> 00:36:59.480
And and it doesn't want that, right?
00:36:59.480 --> 00:37:18.119
And I started running these workshops on army bases, and I got this email from a Louis colonel that said, Look, I didn't attend it, but I had all my sergeants coming up to me saying that was the first good night's sleep they had in three years, four years, five years.
00:37:18.119 --> 00:37:22.760
Um, and he thought it was awesome, but I'm like, that's terrible.
00:37:22.760 --> 00:37:26.039
How much damage is five years of not sleeping doing?
00:37:26.039 --> 00:37:30.519
And I'm always shocked at how society doesn't put any priority on good sleep.
00:37:30.519 --> 00:37:31.719
It almost rewards people.
00:37:31.719 --> 00:37:33.480
Oh, I've had two hours of sleep, had a coffee.
00:37:33.480 --> 00:37:34.360
What's your excuse?
00:37:34.360 --> 00:37:42.440
There's this sort of acceptance of poor sleep, and we're all in this sort of hypnosis of it's normal.
00:37:42.440 --> 00:37:47.079
But I say, you know, if you care about somebody, you you care about their sleep.
00:37:47.559 --> 00:37:54.920
I know there's such an over-emphasis on productivity that goes beyond, especially with all the new technology.
00:37:54.920 --> 00:38:03.159
It used to be like people would silence their phones, or no one would call the house after dinner time or later, like years ago.
00:38:03.320 --> 00:38:03.960
Yeah.
00:38:04.360 --> 00:38:09.960
And now it's like people are on call 24-7 and they're afraid to not pick up the phone.
00:38:09.960 --> 00:38:13.480
People feel like they have to be on all the time.
00:38:14.199 --> 00:38:14.760
Yeah.
00:38:14.760 --> 00:38:18.760
And if you want to destroy somebody, destroy their sleep.
00:38:18.760 --> 00:38:21.159
We used to use it as a tactic in the special forces.
00:38:21.159 --> 00:38:22.840
We'd attack the enemy's sleep.
00:38:22.840 --> 00:38:28.360
We didn't know the science of it, but we we knew if we could take it out for three nights, it would mess them up better than a bullet.
00:38:28.360 --> 00:38:45.800
You know, so I I mean, I don't want to sound like a conspiracy theorist, but I look at the pattern where the economy loves it when we're fatigued because we start believing that this crap outside of us is more important than what's inside of us.
00:38:45.800 --> 00:38:51.159
And that that stuff outside of us is going to do for us what our God-given right is inside of us.
00:38:51.159 --> 00:38:58.199
It's very easy to fall into the trap that what I do is important.
00:38:58.199 --> 00:39:00.840
What I do gives me importance.
00:39:00.840 --> 00:39:04.440
What I do has other people telling me I'm important.
00:39:04.440 --> 00:39:09.480
And if I'm not doing something, then I'm nothing.
00:39:09.480 --> 00:39:11.239
If I'm doing nothing, I am nothing.
00:39:11.239 --> 00:39:13.000
I am worthless, I am valueless.
00:39:13.000 --> 00:39:21.480
And and you know, when you've military tactics dictate you've got to find the enemy's center of gravity, whatever that is.
00:39:21.480 --> 00:39:23.639
It couldn't be something as simple as a good night's sleep.
00:39:23.639 --> 00:39:27.079
Once you off-center that, you've you're starting to win.
00:39:27.079 --> 00:39:40.920
And and you know, my observation around, especially around the poor sleep quality, it seems culturally accepted, is that the algorithms figured out that our center of gravity is our sense of self-worth.
00:39:40.920 --> 00:39:54.039
We want to feel valued, and it knows if it tells us that our value is determinant on things outside of our physical skin, it's gotcha.
00:39:54.039 --> 00:39:55.320
It has got you.
00:39:55.320 --> 00:40:12.280
And I want to share openly here because that switch never clicked for me until post-divorce when I lost house, home, money, kids, access, that I realized everything outside of my own skin I can't control.
00:40:12.280 --> 00:40:17.400
I mean, it's it's kind of obvious, but it was a realized fact.
00:40:17.400 --> 00:40:25.159
And then I'm like, well, if this thing here is the barrier between what I can control and what I can't control, well, guess what?
00:40:25.159 --> 00:40:28.199
We're gonna control what goes on underneath here.
00:40:28.199 --> 00:40:40.360
And this is where the seeking journey happens, that exploration around what is actually underneath our own skin, because most people treat their bodies just like a vehicle that carries their eyeballs around.
00:40:40.360 --> 00:40:50.440
You know, we have no idea, and this information is kind of hidden because once you know it, a lot of this stuff that is seemingly important gets made redundant really quickly.
00:40:50.440 --> 00:40:55.880
And and there's a lot of people out there that have been doing it for so long, they think it's normal.
00:40:55.880 --> 00:41:03.400
It would, it's very challenging to them for them to go, oh, actually, it's not my car that makes me special.
00:41:03.400 --> 00:41:07.960
But I've been doing this my whole life and I've been made to feel bad by other people that had better cars than me.
00:41:07.960 --> 00:41:11.719
And so now it's my identity, and don't tell me I'm not worth anything.
00:41:11.719 --> 00:41:35.800
So there's it wasn't until I had a complete breakdown that I was able to be present to the universal truth that inside of all of us there is this, some call it divine, but you could call it a few things: this peace, this power, this contentment, this um satisfaction that only we can give ourselves.
00:41:36.599 --> 00:41:39.000
Yeah, that is all so true.
00:41:39.000 --> 00:41:50.920
Well, when you were putting this program together and you were testing it out on these other military people, you were showing them, first of all, like community, right?
00:41:50.920 --> 00:41:52.920
You had them all in a room together.
00:41:52.920 --> 00:41:56.679
But how did you maintain that community?
00:41:56.679 --> 00:42:08.679
Like you said, it's great to talk to other people who've had similar experiences, but once you leave that place and you're no longer around them, how are they maintaining Yeah?
00:42:08.840 --> 00:42:20.599
That is such a potent question because uh what you're speaking to there is a lot of people they say, I want to make a big amount of difference in this particular area.
00:42:20.599 --> 00:42:30.440
They might and they think that making a big amount of money, doing a big event, getting all these people together and having this great time and everyone's awesome on the day, but then a week later, what's changed?
00:42:30.440 --> 00:42:31.400
You know?
00:42:31.400 --> 00:42:34.199
I've made a million dollars for charity.
00:42:34.199 --> 00:42:35.480
What's changed?
00:42:35.480 --> 00:42:40.920
So so I I created this unit of measurement being military.
00:42:40.920 --> 00:42:42.679
Um, it's an acronym.
00:42:42.679 --> 00:42:48.280
It's three P's, and I and I kind of say everything I do has to pass my P test, right?
00:42:48.280 --> 00:42:56.920
Um, so everything I do has to be powerful, positive, but the last P is most important, permanent.
00:42:56.920 --> 00:42:58.920
So what you're talking about is permanency.
00:42:58.920 --> 00:43:00.519
What happens when you're not there?
00:43:00.519 --> 00:43:11.079
And do you remember um me talking about that email from that Louis Colonel saying that I'd helped his guys get their first good night's sleep in up to five years?
00:43:11.079 --> 00:43:14.760
He said something there that made me realize I was failing.
00:43:14.760 --> 00:43:18.360
He said, It was good when you're there, but what have you got when you're not there?
00:43:18.360 --> 00:43:22.280
And I'm like, Oh, I've just failed my P test.
00:43:22.280 --> 00:43:24.039
I am not permanent.
00:43:24.039 --> 00:43:30.119
And if we say that we're healers, we can't just care about people today.
00:43:30.119 --> 00:43:33.159
We've got to care about them tomorrow, next week, the next year.
00:43:33.159 --> 00:43:41.159
This is why healers are so rare, because they know they're human, their energy is not enough for two people.
00:43:41.159 --> 00:43:52.599
But what they've got mastery of is a connection to something super powerful, and they will connect you to that powerful thing in far less time than what it took them to.
00:43:52.599 --> 00:44:05.559
So the twofold answer was these programs that I set up then dovetailed into programs outside of the space.
00:44:05.559 --> 00:44:18.280
So if I was running uh a freediving program where people would breathe and go underwater, then it would be opened up to joining free diving organizations outside of that space.
00:44:18.280 --> 00:44:26.920
If I was running uh a men's group, that'd be made presents to other men's groups that they could go into.
00:44:26.920 --> 00:44:32.679
And with the breath work, when that Louis Colonel said, Well, what have you got when you're not there?
00:44:32.679 --> 00:44:34.599
I withdrew from public life.
00:44:34.599 --> 00:44:44.360
For about two years, spent over fifty grand creating the Breathwork Embed app, which it's just a piece of technology.
00:44:44.360 --> 00:44:47.079
And it's not the high tech part of the equation.
00:44:47.079 --> 00:44:52.760
What it gets you access to is the highest tech inside your own lungs regularly.
00:44:52.760 --> 00:44:56.920
And you know, like Uber Eats, you just hit a button and you get it straight away.
00:44:56.920 --> 00:44:59.639
So this is this is how this works.
00:44:59.639 --> 00:45:06.360
You just tell it when you want to sleep, and then it gets Ubered in at that exact moment, and you just, you know, tap and press play.
00:45:06.360 --> 00:45:15.000
So that has been my best attempts at permanency, at giving people access to this powerful thing.
00:45:15.400 --> 00:45:18.920
So you have an app that's called Breath Work in Bed.
00:45:18.920 --> 00:45:28.840
And so when when someone does want to sleep and they're unable to, they can just tap the app and hear these breathing techniques that they follow.
00:45:28.840 --> 00:45:29.719
Is that it?
00:45:29.719 --> 00:45:37.960
And then also, is it through the app where they're connected to other groups that they can continue to speak to other people going through the same thing?
00:45:38.360 --> 00:45:39.320
Yeah, sure, sure.
00:45:39.320 --> 00:45:47.639
So the the work I did in the veteran charities, um, we would connect them to other external sources.
00:45:47.639 --> 00:45:59.559
It gives me much joy that over 10 years ago, these courses that I ran, these guys are still doing free diving courses and all that other stuff, and they're proliferating, you know, in their own separate areas.
00:45:59.559 --> 00:46:07.400
The app, it's unique because it doesn't just give you breath work to turn your bed into a cloud, and it can literally do that for you tonight.
00:46:07.400 --> 00:46:11.079
It in the morning, there's breath work to help get you out of bed.
00:46:11.079 --> 00:46:19.480
And I found that quite a game changer because I'm so used to waking up feeling tired, physical pains from preventable injuries.
00:46:19.480 --> 00:46:24.440
Veterans often call it vultures on the bedhead, like negative thoughts ready to dive into your head.
00:46:24.440 --> 00:46:29.960
And I noticed if I lost the first five minutes of the day with these negative stuff in my head, then I've lost the day.
00:46:29.960 --> 00:46:38.920
So I'm like, well, if I can just have some, you know, press a button, Uber Eats positivity fed in at that critical moment.
00:46:38.920 --> 00:46:42.519
I'm gonna win the first five minutes, I'm gonna win the day.
00:46:42.519 --> 00:46:54.840
And you remember how I said the healing journey gets to a point where you're like, I want to give my gifts into the world generously because I'm in touch with an abundant source.
00:46:54.840 --> 00:47:05.880
Well, I've noticed that generosity is one way to double the current energy you're feeling.
00:47:05.880 --> 00:47:15.719
So it's one thing to wake up with breath work and your feet hit the ground with you connected to your body, not like carrying all this stuck energy.
00:47:15.719 --> 00:47:23.079
Um, and within the app, there's another option where if you okay, you put the good energy into your body, let's put the good energy into your mind.
00:47:23.079 --> 00:47:26.679
So there's affirmations to be said in the mirror.
00:47:26.679 --> 00:47:31.559
And I was so resistant to that because I'm like, that's just so stupid.
00:47:31.559 --> 00:47:35.880
But doing it myself, I couldn't ignore the power of it.
00:47:35.880 --> 00:47:38.360
If it's stupid and it works, it's not stupid.
00:47:38.360 --> 00:47:51.159
So for those people who want it, they can have I just use the term another Uber Eats thing where you're just getting that positivity fed into you while you're in that really critical stage of wakening.
00:47:51.159 --> 00:47:56.039
But within that wake-up routine, you've connected to your body, you've connected to your mind.
00:47:56.039 --> 00:48:01.159
I always ask, do you want to double the energy and connection you're currently feeling?
00:48:01.159 --> 00:48:06.360
Consider the possibility that you connecting to yourself is only half the connection.
00:48:06.360 --> 00:48:12.039
Connecting outside of yourself with an act of generosity can double your energy.
00:48:12.039 --> 00:48:14.360
It's amazingly simple.
00:48:14.360 --> 00:48:19.239
Like you could literally send three words to a friend, good morning, Mala.
00:48:19.239 --> 00:48:20.679
That's it.
00:48:20.679 --> 00:48:24.920
Send that to a few friends for no reason whatsoever.
00:48:24.920 --> 00:48:32.840
That is so simple and yet such a powerful act of generosity, where you're actually getting outside of yourself.
00:48:32.840 --> 00:48:37.320
You know, I would love to have someone say, Good morning, Tim, just as a text.
00:48:37.320 --> 00:48:40.679
So let's be the type of person that does for others.
00:48:40.679 --> 00:48:45.880
And it's funny, all this goodness, peace, power, it almost gets activated.
00:48:45.880 --> 00:48:48.599
It feels like it's sitting behind us on a rope.
00:48:48.599 --> 00:48:52.840
And when we give it to others, it pulls through to us as well.
00:48:52.840 --> 00:49:01.159
And so within the Breathworking Bed app, once people start going, man, I'm feeling really good, I'm banking this sleep, and they're in a space where I'm like, you know what?
00:49:01.159 --> 00:49:02.280
I'm gonna double this.
00:49:02.280 --> 00:49:04.360
I'm actually gonna do an act of generosity.
00:49:04.360 --> 00:49:11.719
So we actually have a generosity news wall, and I call it a news wall because you don't often get a lot of good news on the news.
00:49:11.719 --> 00:49:16.199
And I'm like, wouldn't it be nice to have a positive news feed?
00:49:16.199 --> 00:49:20.599
You know, Tom from Texas took his neighbor's bins in, that sort of stuff.
00:49:20.599 --> 00:49:21.960
What'd you say?
00:49:21.960 --> 00:49:28.440
Like on the generosity news wall, you can see things like oh, you know, Tom from Texas took his neighbors' bins in.
00:49:28.440 --> 00:49:31.239
You know, what's neither bins in?
00:49:31.239 --> 00:49:33.400
Neighbors, neighbors, you know, the neighbors?
00:49:33.400 --> 00:49:36.440
Oh, maybe my Aussie accent didn't do it justice.
00:49:36.760 --> 00:49:39.639
The neighbors' bins in the garbage cans.
00:49:39.639 --> 00:49:40.039
Yeah.
00:49:40.039 --> 00:49:42.519
Got it.
00:49:42.519 --> 00:49:50.599
Well, that's so interesting what you said about the affirmations, like how it seems so silly at first.
00:49:50.599 --> 00:49:56.760
But when you think about it, how many people look in the mirror and give a negative sort of affirmation?
00:49:56.760 --> 00:49:58.519
I mean, you're doing it anyway.
00:49:58.519 --> 00:50:02.039
So it may as well be positive instead of negative.
00:50:02.039 --> 00:50:23.960
And then the other thing, I love how you have that ability for people to share their acts of generosity, because there's been studies done about acts of kindness and how it affects not only the person that's receiving it, but the person who's doing it and also the person that's observing it.
00:50:23.960 --> 00:50:32.920
So if people are reading these other acts of kindness, even on the app wall, that's affecting them as well.
00:50:32.920 --> 00:50:37.559
Not to mention inspiring people to do more of those things.
00:50:37.559 --> 00:50:38.679
I love it.
00:50:39.159 --> 00:50:44.920
It's always shocking how powerful these things are that cost you nothing.
00:50:44.920 --> 00:50:48.599
You know, it's your breath, it's your words.
00:50:48.599 --> 00:50:58.679
And and like you said, if we're not putting positive stuff in our minds, often I don't want to assume, but I am automatically putting negative stuff in there.
00:50:58.679 --> 00:51:03.639
So I have to be really clean on putting positive stuff in there.
00:51:03.639 --> 00:51:09.800
And I know I'm not I'm not lazy, but if there's an easier way to do something, I'll do it, and especially in the mornings.
00:51:09.800 --> 00:51:43.000
So if I've got an easy way to connect to my breath, if I've got an easy way to say my affirmations, it's like you literally your consciousness, instead of getting bombarded with negativity, you're on this positive train track that is just bit by bit, and and so many times, even though I'm the founder of it, so many times I'm like, this is BS, it's not gonna work, this is BS, it's not gonna work, and I'm and I'm breathing and I'm moving and I'm removing the stuck energy, but percentage by percentage by percentage, I'm like, wow, man, this works.
00:51:43.000 --> 00:52:07.880
And I think my blessing is sometimes I get really low and I have to find things that really work in that state of lowness, and the accessibility is key because the world we currently live in, um, I call it the economy of dysfunction, they're really good at giving instant satisfaction.
00:52:07.880 --> 00:52:08.440
Okay.
00:52:08.440 --> 00:52:14.760
So I'm hungry, yeah, you can have terrible takeaway food at the click of a finger.
00:52:14.760 --> 00:52:18.199
You know, the healthy options are there, but they take time.
00:52:18.199 --> 00:52:28.840
So again, what I like about breathwork, it's a quick, easy win that matches the speed of you know the consumer society that we're currently in.
00:52:29.239 --> 00:52:30.280
That's great.
00:52:30.280 --> 00:52:36.039
And I agree with you that the morning is so important because I've done it both ways.
00:52:36.039 --> 00:52:41.960
I've gone to my phone and watched the horrible news first thing, and it's so easy to get addicted to that.
00:52:41.960 --> 00:52:49.400
And then the rest of the day, not only is it not as good, but it goes by too quickly without accomplishing as much.
00:52:49.400 --> 00:53:03.880
Whereas when I've started it with the more meditative stuff, or I listen to some things that are more like affirmations and start your day with that, you're right, it sets the tone for the whole day.
00:53:03.880 --> 00:53:09.960
And then I feel better and I feel more productive and it just goes completely different.
00:53:09.960 --> 00:53:14.679
Just those first 15 minutes of my day, depending on how I start it.
00:53:15.159 --> 00:53:15.639
Yeah.
00:53:15.639 --> 00:53:16.280
Yeah.
00:53:16.280 --> 00:53:21.960
And if we can create an ease of access for people, then it just happens a whole lot easier.
00:53:21.960 --> 00:53:26.280
If I have to do something hard to get the good stuff, it's a bit of a higher bar.
00:53:26.280 --> 00:53:33.960
And, you know, people are fatigued because they've already tried really hard and they don't want to remember I have to do six things before I go to sleep.
00:53:33.960 --> 00:53:34.519
No.
00:53:34.519 --> 00:53:43.719
The joy of this process isn't just getting a good night's sleep, isn't just waking up and you've got a positive experience.
00:53:43.719 --> 00:53:47.880
It is your gifts get brought into the world.
00:53:47.880 --> 00:53:54.679
And I can get people to consider that if you're feeling slow, low, flat, your gifts aren't coming out.
00:53:54.679 --> 00:53:56.920
In fact, you're protecting what's left.
00:53:56.920 --> 00:53:58.679
And there's no holding ground here.
00:53:58.679 --> 00:54:02.119
You're either, you know, flourishing or retreating.
00:54:02.119 --> 00:54:06.920
And I encourage people to think about all the things you'd like to flourish in.
00:54:06.920 --> 00:54:10.280
And it's not about working harder towards them.
00:54:10.280 --> 00:54:15.159
It's about developing your own peace and power, your own rest and restoration.
00:54:15.159 --> 00:54:21.960
So when I'm working with my corporates and they're like sleep when you're dead, because that's their culture, I say think of performance like a pyramid.
00:54:21.960 --> 00:54:29.400
Top of the pyramid, you know, you're achieving what you want in the world, making money, achieving goals, building buildings, whatever it is.
00:54:29.400 --> 00:54:34.840
But the bottom of the pyramid, which is much larger, is your rest, recovery, and healing art forms.
00:54:34.840 --> 00:54:35.320
Okay.
00:54:35.320 --> 00:54:38.920
And if you want to destroy someone, destroy the bottom of the pyramid.
00:54:38.920 --> 00:54:44.519
If you want to say you're over the hill at 30, then ignore the bottom of the pyramid.
00:54:44.519 --> 00:54:51.559
If you want to keep performing through your lifespan and not age like everyone else's ages, pay attention to the bottom of the pyramid.
00:54:51.559 --> 00:55:06.679
It looks nothing like the top, and the top looks nothing like the bottom, but done right, you are in a lot more joyful whole state, not reacting, not being in balance and having to pour dopamine over dysfunction.
00:55:06.679 --> 00:55:09.800
Better quality rest gives better quality performance.
00:55:09.800 --> 00:55:12.679
Better quality performance creates better quality rest.
00:55:12.679 --> 00:55:22.840
Once people understand that they aren't given a set of lungs, they were given a medicine cabinet with a lot of different shelves, and they can alter their state accordingly.
00:55:22.840 --> 00:55:27.960
If they want to punch through the afternoon, there's a breathwork technique that makes you feel better than caffeine.
00:55:27.960 --> 00:55:31.639
If they want to get better sleep, there's a breathwork technique for that.
00:55:31.639 --> 00:55:42.920
If I'm working with high school students, there's a breathwork technique that drops their cortisol and brings their thinking mind into gear when they're, you know, doing their exams.
00:55:42.920 --> 00:55:49.800
But once you have this access, the person who gave it to you is kind of automatically redundant.
00:55:49.800 --> 00:55:52.360
And most people, most marketers never want that.
00:55:52.360 --> 00:55:59.880
So this is why it's rare to get really powerful information because once you've got that, you've got it for the rest of your life, you know?
00:56:00.280 --> 00:56:00.760
Mm-hmm.
00:56:00.760 --> 00:56:07.639
Well, that is amazing that you're doing this for people and sharing such a wealth of information like this.
00:56:07.639 --> 00:56:14.440
Because you truly are coming from a place of wanting to help people, knowing how much it really saved you.
00:56:14.440 --> 00:56:22.440
So, what are some stories you might have of people that have been helped by this app and the information?
00:56:22.840 --> 00:56:29.159
Well, yeah, look, my LinkedIn's blowing up right now because I had a had a guy, someone's quite up in the veteran space.
00:56:29.159 --> 00:56:35.320
He had a watch that measured his sleep, and he was not getting any quality sleep at all.
00:56:35.320 --> 00:56:41.079
And now, after working with me for a short period, um his numbers are off the charts.
00:56:41.079 --> 00:56:53.400
But the most obvious one was a guy who um who I'd known for a few years, and he thought it was so normal that he never mentioned to me that he was an insomniac.
00:56:53.400 --> 00:56:57.000
And for 38 years, he wasn't sleeping properly.
00:56:57.000 --> 00:56:58.039
His name was Chris.
00:56:58.039 --> 00:57:08.119
And I prescribed him some breath work, and I said, You do this and uh let's circle up again in a week.
00:57:08.119 --> 00:57:10.280
Uh eight days later, I checked in.
00:57:10.280 --> 00:57:17.079
He says, Tim, the only time I didn't sleep all the way through was when the dog was barking and it woke me up.
00:57:17.079 --> 00:57:26.039
That was the first time in 38 years he had slept all the way through, and the only thing he did different was breathwork.
00:57:26.039 --> 00:57:31.000
Natural, inbuilt, organic, immediate relief.
00:57:31.000 --> 00:57:35.800
And now this guy is he he's uh an older guy, he's over, he's over 60.
00:57:35.800 --> 00:57:43.079
Now he's actually training to become the world's fastest six-year-old triathlete, you know, in the seniors division.
00:57:43.079 --> 00:57:48.679
Um he actually ended up becoming my business partner as well.
00:57:48.679 --> 00:57:53.239
So that's kind of the the impact when people access their own medicine.
00:57:53.239 --> 00:58:01.719
The only thing I do with the Breathwork Inbed app is show you how to create your breath and get it to a medicinal level.
00:58:01.719 --> 00:58:14.679
Okay, so you know, everyone breathes and you can take a few deep breaths, but if it's a bit like let's just say you've got a headache and you want to take a panodol and you need to take two panodol, well, if you just lick it and put it down, you're not going to get any benefit.
00:58:14.679 --> 00:58:23.480
You do need to be guided into a certain medicinal state to create that effect on your body, as I've experienced it.
00:58:23.800 --> 00:58:25.960
That's so fascinating.
00:58:25.960 --> 00:58:33.960
What about people that were or are vets that were struggling because of something like PTSD?
00:58:33.960 --> 00:58:43.480
Do you have a story of someone like that that it really helped and really helped their depression or anxiety as a side effect?
00:58:44.280 --> 00:58:51.159
Well, like I mentioned, one or two guys a week in the first year of doing this would come up and go, you know, do you remember that conversation?
00:58:51.159 --> 00:58:52.280
Do you remember that event?
00:58:52.280 --> 00:58:56.519
And I'm like, Yeah, I guess, you know, because I I did a lot.
00:58:56.519 --> 00:59:03.320
And he goes, Well, after that one conversation, I had everything I needed to in the car to kill myself, and I chose not to.
00:59:03.320 --> 00:59:06.840
That was happening once, sometimes twice a week.
00:59:06.840 --> 00:59:33.480
Speaking to exact terms, like I didn't have the metrics in place to measure, let's say someone's you know, depressed or you know, PDSD and the percentage of which they recovered, but I can honestly say this they would reach out to me years after the event and say, Tim, I'm now doing this, this, this, serving my community, doing this, this, this, I've got full-time employment, I've got a family.
00:59:33.480 --> 00:59:36.039
You know, my my daughter and I have got a great relationship.
00:59:36.039 --> 00:59:43.480
So there's there's all these things that really happened, but could I honestly quantify what was transformed?
00:59:43.480 --> 00:59:48.920
All I can say was there was something not working, and then it was working.
00:59:48.920 --> 01:00:04.760
And these people had what they needed inside of them to make it work, and all I did was just pulled away the things that were stopping their inner knowing coming out, which was loneliness, fatigue.
01:00:04.760 --> 01:00:10.679
And they then moved into these much more happy lives.
01:00:10.679 --> 01:00:20.360
Of course, I've got a a lot of testimonials and all that sort of stuff, but to give exact data on you know mental health and PDSD, I I don't have access to that.
01:00:20.679 --> 01:00:22.760
No, you answered that perfectly.
01:00:22.760 --> 01:00:31.719
I mean, that's all you need are those testimonials of people that were feeling so lost beforehand and then transformed their lives.
01:00:31.719 --> 01:00:33.320
That's amazing.
01:00:33.320 --> 01:00:36.360
So I have three questions I like to ask.
01:00:36.360 --> 01:00:36.840
Yeah.
01:00:36.840 --> 01:00:42.280
When someone's gone through some difficult things and come out the other side, like you have.
01:00:42.280 --> 01:00:57.000
When you were going through the most difficult times when you lost everything, or right before you went to the psychologist's office, what was the biggest obstacle, do you think, to you?
01:00:57.320 --> 01:00:58.840
In getting healing?
01:00:59.159 --> 01:01:04.519
Yeah, like when you were in the process of then trying to heal yourself.
01:01:05.000 --> 01:01:05.480
Got it.
01:01:05.639 --> 01:01:05.880
Yeah.
01:01:06.119 --> 01:01:07.880
I can answer that very succinctly.
01:01:07.880 --> 01:01:11.239
Uh, you know how guys don't like stopping and asking for directions?
01:01:11.239 --> 01:01:13.159
Because that means we don't know something.
01:01:13.159 --> 01:01:17.639
So let's build upon that.
01:01:17.639 --> 01:01:23.880
There's certain ways of being which make you think that if I'm weak, I'll let the team down.
01:01:23.880 --> 01:01:26.440
And I'll die before I let the team down.
01:01:26.440 --> 01:01:29.159
And asking for help makes me look weak.
01:01:29.159 --> 01:01:31.639
And I don't want to let the team down.
01:01:31.639 --> 01:01:43.800
And we kind of kill ourselves and impact everyone around us by having this belief that we don't even know we have that yeah, asking for help means you're weak.
01:01:43.800 --> 01:01:45.960
And we're gonna let others down.
01:01:45.960 --> 01:01:47.559
We have to be the strong one.
01:01:47.559 --> 01:01:53.400
So that was the main obstacle, the idea that asking for help.
01:01:53.400 --> 01:02:09.239
It was too scary to comprehend that I could be the one letting my team down, I could be the one letting my family down, I could be the one causing pain to my family.
01:02:09.239 --> 01:02:14.599
You know, I'll I'll die before I let anything happen to my family, but you know, it's a hell of a pill.
01:02:14.840 --> 01:02:17.880
Well, what was the biggest lesson you learned along the way?
01:02:18.440 --> 01:02:23.239
Done right, all the shit we go through is meant to be for fertilizer.
01:02:23.239 --> 01:02:25.320
We're not supposed to stay in it.
01:02:25.320 --> 01:02:33.639
It's the biggest blessing, even though you sometimes wouldn't wish it on your worst enemy.
01:02:33.639 --> 01:02:42.360
The biggest blessing is to be put through those low moments where you've just been you just have to admit I can't do this.
01:02:42.360 --> 01:02:43.800
I got nothing.
01:02:43.800 --> 01:02:47.000
My strength is not enough, my wisdom's not enough.
01:02:47.000 --> 01:02:51.320
And in that place, magic can happen.
01:02:51.320 --> 01:03:00.360
Things come out of nowhere, and I think people get to that place through modeling behavior of others.
01:03:00.360 --> 01:03:08.599
They get to that place a lot quicker when they've got people to model, oh, that person was gentle, then vulnerable, and he had a breakthrough.
01:03:08.599 --> 01:03:14.440
That's a lot more impactful than trying to get there on your own, you know.
01:03:15.800 --> 01:03:19.960
What was the kindest thing someone did for you during that time?
01:03:20.840 --> 01:03:28.840
A kindred spirit once had a conversation with me that made me feel incredibly valued.
01:03:28.840 --> 01:03:35.639
And I didn't know it at the time, that she was the head of a particular research organization.
01:03:35.639 --> 01:03:41.159
It was Gallipoli Medical Research Organization, uh, and it's quite a big thing in Australia.
01:03:41.159 --> 01:03:44.280
We created tools for veterans that actually work.
01:03:44.280 --> 01:03:55.239
Now, I didn't know that at the time, but she just held that space with me, and that just cracks something inside of me like it's like everything's gonna be okay.
01:03:55.239 --> 01:03:59.719
You know, the power of a stranger, I guess, was what really landed with me.
01:03:59.719 --> 01:04:09.800
The power of a stranger and was so great not to be like famous because strangers are super powerful, and that was the gift within the gift.
01:04:09.800 --> 01:04:29.880
Now, I'd actually since gone on, me and a team of people raised $1.3 million in charity for Gallipoli Medical Research, along with uh another chosen charity, but all that happened on the back of this one stranger looking at me and holding a really clean space.
01:04:29.880 --> 01:04:35.639
And something filled that space that was completely unexpected and incredibly rewarding.
01:04:35.639 --> 01:04:37.960
And it cost them nothing, you know.
01:04:38.280 --> 01:04:43.400
So, do you mean she held the space like to listen to your story and listen to you?
01:04:43.719 --> 01:04:44.119
No, no, no.
01:04:44.119 --> 01:04:47.239
It was a conversation where she just held no judgment.
01:04:47.239 --> 01:04:51.480
She was just having a conversation, no judgment as a stranger.
01:04:51.480 --> 01:04:55.639
And I sensed it and it was palpable, and it'd been years since I'd had that.
01:04:56.039 --> 01:05:06.440
Yeah, sometimes the most powerful moments do come from strangers, that there's no expectation on either side, and you can just have a genuine, heartfelt moment.
01:05:06.440 --> 01:05:12.119
So, where can people find you or find this app?
01:05:12.119 --> 01:05:20.440
And is there any last thing you want to share with people to give them whether it's hope or inspiration or a healing tip?
01:05:21.159 --> 01:05:21.559
Sure.
01:05:21.559 --> 01:05:27.320
Well, to answer your first question, I have social media, but the world doesn't need more social media.
01:05:27.320 --> 01:05:31.639
Okay, if you do want to reach out, sure, breathwork in bed, that's across the range.
01:05:31.639 --> 01:05:35.719
Um, I often work with leaders who want to create spaces for their people.
01:05:35.719 --> 01:05:41.719
I'm a designer of a performance standard in Australia, which has the success standard of sleep.
01:05:41.719 --> 01:05:51.239
But for those people that say, look, I just want a better night's sleep tonight, simply get out your phone and put in breath work in bed in your app store.
01:05:51.239 --> 01:05:53.000
Breath work, one word, in bed.
01:05:53.000 --> 01:05:54.599
Gift for everyone today.
01:05:54.599 --> 01:05:56.440
There's a 28-day free period.
01:05:56.440 --> 01:05:57.800
Hit that button.
01:05:57.800 --> 01:06:00.519
You can trial it for 28 days, no expense.
01:06:00.519 --> 01:06:04.360
You just tell it when you want to sleep, when you want to wake up, we take care of the rest.
01:06:04.360 --> 01:06:07.239
Because tired people don't want to remember six things.
01:06:07.239 --> 01:06:16.280
And what I'd love to leave people with is consider your 2026 with quality sleep.
01:06:16.280 --> 01:06:19.800
Consider the goals you want to achieve with quality sleep.
01:06:19.800 --> 01:06:22.679
Consider how long you want to live with quality sleep.
01:06:22.679 --> 01:06:25.719
Sleep is the soil from which everything grows.
01:06:25.719 --> 01:06:32.440
And all those dormant seeds of greatness and uniqueness that are inside of a person naturally flourish.
01:06:32.440 --> 01:06:34.039
And that's the exciting part.
01:06:34.039 --> 01:06:37.559
Sleep is just the stepping stone into that flourishing.
01:06:37.559 --> 01:06:46.920
And that's what brings me the greatest joy because when people start flourishing because of good quality sleep, not from grinding away, you start seeing colors you've never seen before.
01:06:46.920 --> 01:06:49.400
And it's amazing to be around.
01:06:49.960 --> 01:06:51.800
Great note to end on.
01:06:51.800 --> 01:06:59.400
I appreciate you being on here and giving not just hope for people, especially the vets.
01:06:59.400 --> 01:07:08.760
And we didn't really get into first responders, but first responders as well that go through a lot of different traumas, but also for people in general.
01:07:08.760 --> 01:07:11.719
There's so many insomniacs out there.
01:07:11.719 --> 01:07:22.360
So to know that there might be hope for them and to not only enhance their sleep, but to enhance their health and their vitality.
01:07:22.360 --> 01:07:30.519
You know, we're all living longer, I guess, these days, but we want to live it with vitality and in the best shape we can be in.
01:07:30.519 --> 01:07:37.480
So I just think you have brought a tremendous wealth of information and insight and lots of inspiration.
01:07:37.480 --> 01:07:39.480
So I appreciate you being here.
01:07:39.960 --> 01:07:43.800
Mala, thank you for holding such wonderful, gentle, feminine space.
01:07:43.800 --> 01:07:48.039
And I get the feeling that it it wasn't just a good experience for us to have this conversation.
01:07:48.039 --> 01:07:51.639
I feel like it's doing good outside of this.
01:07:51.639 --> 01:07:55.480
And I I really want to acknowledge all those people that really listened.
01:07:55.480 --> 01:07:59.800
Because, you know, at the end of this, there's probably people that go, nah, whatever.
01:07:59.800 --> 01:08:01.719
But then there's those people that go, you know what?
01:08:01.719 --> 01:08:03.079
There's something here.
01:08:03.079 --> 01:08:04.760
Let's look into this.
01:08:04.760 --> 01:08:06.840
And the goal is to flourish.
01:08:06.840 --> 01:08:09.079
And it's so wonderful to be in the presence of that.
