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In conversation we can help others be their best selves. "Focusing on these small things frees me from trying to imagine what is the big picture we're creating." There are so many things we could pursue in any conversation: Learning, discovery, helping our partner, even fame. So it's wise t…
What intention might you try setting for your next conversation? "I don't simply day-dream about my intentions when it's convenient. I consider different intentions, choose explicitly, and then work to carry that intention into a conversation." Our urge to hide influences us in subtle ways.…

Roles

An actions-based perspective "When something feels off, we can consider which roles are present in the moment. Am I being a mover, and my guest a follower? Or are they perhaps being an opposer?" During a conversation we sometimes sense that it could be better. We might be aware that we are …
Intentionally engaging until we find it interesting "I can see that my digging into things that didn't seem interesting at first glance, has yielded terrific results: Learning, surprise, and happiness to name just three. And not just for myself, but for others too." It's surprising how many…
Choosing a direction towards what you don't know "We want to avoid being drawn toward what we understand. In that direction lies the temptation to summarize and finish." In a conversation we can feel the urge to have a purpose in the form of a goal we are trying to reach, and we can feel th…
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