Jessica DeRose: I mean I could skooch down. I'm always trying to match you. Yeah, I think we're good now. All right. I'm all right. How are you? All right. Yeah. Yeah.
Karli Visconto: There we go, now we're even. How are you? I'm a little stressed. Yeah, I literally like logged on and look, I think looked at myself for the first time today. I was like, oh, that's how I feel. is now 420 in the afternoon. I've been on calls all day and I'm like, I still don't feel like I look like a human and somehow just looked like I rolled out of bed. But yeah, work has been full on. And I think we also have a lot of like exciting stuff. Like obviously we're trying to hire.
Jessica DeRose: You're like, mmm, good. Yeah.
Karli Visconto: a social media manager slash content creators. Like that's been really exciting, but there's just so many moving parts.
Jessica DeRose: Yeah, so much. And then there's like other things that we're trying to do that are also moving parts and the grad never stops, but it makes it harder when your job is crazy.
Karli Visconto: Yeah, and people always do say like when you start your own thing, like boundaries don't exist. And we actually had like a really good conversation last weekend around boundaries just within our communication because it's not fair for us to always be bombarded alongside of our full time job. And I think it's like really healthy to find those boundaries, not only with ourself and with the work, but respecting the boundaries of each other.
Jessica DeRose: Mm-hmm.
Karli Visconto: And it's hard because obviously we're so passionate about this and I would work on only human literally 24 hours a day if I could. But it's frustrating when you just simply can't because you have like other, you know, other commitments that you need to give to. Yeah, that old thing.
Jessica DeRose: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, like a full-time job. Like, just like little things. Like, yeah, no biggie. ⁓ my gosh, yeah. We have like three full-time jobs.
Karli Visconto: But also, I will just say, I do love the full-time job though, because it takes the pressure off of only human. Could you imagine if this was like our lifeline and we had to rely on income? It would take the fun out of it. And I kind of like really enjoy that we have that balance because this can just be a hobby for now.
Jessica DeRose: Yeah. Yeah, for sure. Yeah, yeah for sure. I mean I think I would like to be maybe like part-time. That would be a good balance. Maybe not full-time, part-time sounds good. Yeah, a little bit of stability, a little bit of fun, you know, just like mix it all together. But yeah, we're finding the balance every day and it's ever-changing. Yeah.
Karli Visconto: Yeah, half and half. Yeah. It is ever changing. But yeah, everything ebbs and flows. You inspired this episode topic today because you did. Do you me to tell you the moment that it clicked? So when we were together last weekend, we did a Pilates event at Flawless Fitness. It wasn't even like a Pilates event, but I just talked for their like celebration. Then we went to Steel Penny Cafe. And I'm pretty sure it was on that day you were talking about how you've been trying to
Jessica DeRose: Yeah. Wait, I did? Okay, wait, why? ⁓ my god, yeah.
Karli Visconto: wear more color because that is you to your core. You love wearing pink, you love wearing bright colors, but somewhere along the line, you've kind of been taught or conditioned that that's like, quote unquote, uncool or like chuggy or not on trend because right now everyone's wearing neutrals and monochromatic outfits. And you're like, I'm just trying to reconnect with myself. Like I just love wearing color.
Jessica DeRose: Mm-hmm. Yeah. Mm-hmm. Yeah? Yeah? especially pink. But today I wore bright blue leggings. I'm just like, this is not like, and it didn't match, it was with actually with this, but I was just like, I don't know, I just like it. I feel like that's the part of me that's bold. My personality isn't bold, I don't wear crazy things, but I don't know, I just like the color. And I was showing Carly pictures of my childhood bedroom.
Karli Visconto: especially. ⁓ my God.
Jessica DeRose: That's when color, ⁓ let me just say this, that's when color was cool. Color will come back and I will have my day and everyone's gonna think, yeah, that like monochromatic and gray and beige is boring, but for right now, I feel like the outsider. But yeah, ⁓ my gosh, that's funny. I really have, yeah. wearing colors, that's it. Yeah.
Karli Visconto: Everything is cyclical. So that's what we're gonna be talking about today. Wearing colors, that's the topic. That's the deep topic. But it kind of is full circle, because we actually floated this idea like months ago. And so when you said that, it just kind of reminded me of it. And so the broader theme is really just like the pressure to fit in or like be on trends and like the power of influence in this day and age, especially with social media. And when I say the power, I don't necessarily mean the good type of power. I mean, it can come with...
Jessica DeRose: Yeah. Mm. Yeah.
Karli Visconto: an extreme downside to where it feels like you almost need to go with the grain or you're like quote unquote not in the in crowd. And I think that can show up in a lot of different ways. So I'm excited to get into them today.
Jessica DeRose: Yeah. Yeah. I feel like now more than ever, just you saying influence, I just think about influencers and that's their exact purpose. And so I feel like it just, the pressure or the pull to fit in has just really amplified in the last, I don't know, maybe definitely last five years, but probably the last 10, pretty much in social media, I guess you could say. But.
Karli Visconto: Yeah. Totally. mean, the influencer economy is like reshaping the way that young people work and make money. And so it's only fitting that it's like super prevalent in the way that we like move throughout society and how it has an impact on our life, because not even just like the major influences anymore, it's like a micro influencer surge as well. So you don't even need the followers to be hopping on the trends and showcasing and influencing other people to hop on them too. So it's just really interesting how like it's.
Jessica DeRose: ⁓ my god. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Karli Visconto: really at the forefront right now in so many different ways.
Jessica DeRose: Yeah, it really is. ⁓ What are some things that you feel like are really prevalent right now? Like what's trendy right now?
Karli Visconto: That's so funny because I feel like one is top of mind. Motherfucking sardines, which might I.
Jessica DeRose: I'm not on the- have no idea about this trend. I don't know about this trend.
Karli Visconto: Are you kidding? It's all... See, that's what's funny about trends is some things make it to certain people's algorithms and then not others. So like you can think something is trending and I have no idea about it and vice versa. But no, like sardines are having a moment because everyone's realizing how good they are for your skin. They're like high in omegas. Yeah. No, literally. And what's funny is...
Jessica DeRose: Yeah. You're like, have no idea. Yeah. The sardine industry is just like clapping. They are so excited. They can't keep up.
Karli Visconto: I used to eat these in college, so I was way ahead of my time. But I'll eat anything for health benefit. I'll do anything, I'll eat anything. Don't have to twist my arm. But yeah, so sardines is one of them. I also feel like matcha is something that's become trendy over the last five years. It's a little bit on its way out, but the amount of people that I've seen being like, wanna like matcha so bad, I'm gonna try it 17 different ways, because I'm committed, even though it tastes like dirt and grass to me. I'm like, girl, just don't drink the matcha.
Jessica DeRose: Mm-hmm Yeah. Just we don't have to drink it. Yeah
Karli Visconto: It's fine. And then like low intensity working out. like obviously Pilates. ⁓ Yeah. Can you think of others?
Jessica DeRose: Yeah, Pilates is having a moment. Yeah. I think just like the workout set, like just a workout set in general, not like a matching monocrat like workout set, like a set. I don't know where along the lines that happened, but like it's definitely a trend.
Karli Visconto: Mm. That's actually funny, because I wouldn't be called dead not in a set right now. I almost feel like that's so 2010s. I would feel like a peasant. No, I would. That's all I wear. I'm thinking of wearing black leggings and a red top or something. And why? I don't know.
Jessica DeRose: Wait, wait, wait, you would be... You wouldn't be caught in a set? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, that's what I do all the time because I don't have sets. I just have like pieces. I black leggings and then I have tops.
Karli Visconto: But it's, you know what's funny? When you do it, it's cute because it's on brand. I would never look at you and be like, Jess isn't wearing a set. Like think that speaks to the power of that's inherently you and I know that about you. So I would never question that. But for me, I feel like I'm, I don't know. I feel like I'm kind of like a set girl.
Jessica DeRose: You're like above a set, like above that. No, I'm kidding. Like I wouldn't get caught dead not wearing a set, so.
Karli Visconto: No, precisely. I just don't think it's my vibe. I don't know. What do you think?
Jessica DeRose: Why? What is a vibe about it? I don't understand. It's like the same pieces of clothing, the colors are just different.
Karli Visconto: It's like, yeah, but I am also like a monochromatic person. feel like I am more like matchy matchy, I'm neutrals. Like I feel like I have more of like a clean aesthetic, but like also like a homeless chic, whereas, now I don't wanna say you're like quirky. That's like always been, I swear, my like tagline fashion sense. It's like she could be homeless or she could just be chic, but she's probably homeless.
Jessica DeRose: Do you know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Did you just make that up? Homeless. She could be chic. That's how I feel about Justin Bieber. That man looks homeless all the time. I don't understand. Okay, rant over.
Karli Visconto: Yeah Yeah It's so true Yeah, anyway, so I do agree with you. I do think sets are like all the rage ⁓
Jessica DeRose: No, no, no, wait. Go back to the point where you were saying that I was... Wait, what did you say?
Karli Visconto: Yeah, you're like, you're like, finish your thought you I feel like just have a little bit Did I actually say the word quirky or did you just know Okay, Don't know if you just read my mind. I know I was going there I just didn't know if you would finish my sentence like one does ⁓ You just embrace like color I just think you do not strike me as somebody that's like super concerned about like the matchy matchy and like Like that's just not your vibe
Jessica DeRose: No, no, no, because you were about to call me quirky. You were like, not quirky. Yes. Roll the tape back. Yeah. I don't know.
Karli Visconto: It's just like, can't really explain it. It's just like, I feel like people that know you will understand.
Jessica DeRose: I also, it's like, it's not offensive, but I'm just like, I wanna be that person. But do I wanna be that person because it's trendy?
Karli Visconto: Well, let's talk about it because I think there's like an inherent desire to like be pulled into the trends and like really want that.
Jessica DeRose: Cause that's like a cool girl vibe. I'm like, okay, I want to be a cool girl. Like I'm going to wear a set, you know? I don't know.
Karli Visconto: Yeah, yeah, I was actually reflecting on this conversation or this question because obviously I take everything back to like our ancestors in biology. And I'm like, where actually does this come from? Like the trends and like this deep desire to be included. Wait for it.
Jessica DeRose: How are you about to, ⁓ it's gonna say, how are you about to really a workout set to our ancestors? This is good, this is gonna be good.
Karli Visconto: Just wait for it. I feel like as humans, we are wired for belonging and like sense of connection. And that makes us feel safe, right? It always has in all the times before to come and times to come. But I feel like when we go against the grain, that kind of like takes away that safety from us. It kind of feels like we're like sticking out or be like being put on display.
Jessica DeRose: Mm-hmm. Yeah. Yeah.
Karli Visconto: Which historically, if you're on display or you're going against the community, you're at risk, right? Like back in the day. And so I just feel like in the modern day, being different opens doors for potential vertical or judgment. I even think about starting figured out about my podcast back in twenty twenty two and like not many people were doing podcasts yet. And I was like, this is so cringy. Like, I feel like I'm opening the doors for like so many opinions and like just so many eyes.
Jessica DeRose: Yeah. Yeah. Mm-hmm.
Karli Visconto: And so I don't think people like to be like, quote unquote, different or unique anymore because they're kind of scared of what comes with that territory.
Jessica DeRose: Yeah. Yeah, I mean, I think it's very human and then also like, like I kind of said, it's very much amplified, which a lot of the things are amplified because of social media, but I think that we've just truly taken it to a new level. think like a sense of community can be had without trends, but like that inherent, like we, I think we've just made it.
Karli Visconto: Yeah. Mm-hmm.
Jessica DeRose: not about humanity, we've made it about external things. And that's why that crosses those bounds, if that makes sense. It's not about actually having community, it's about fitting in externally. Two things can be true. You can have community and not be with the trend.
Karli Visconto: Yeah, like more materialistic. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Mm-hmm.
Jessica DeRose: But yeah, no, I definitely understand that deep desire to belong, but I think we've just screwed it up and really messed up what that looks like in the modern day.
Karli Visconto: I love that, because that is so freaking true. Like you can have community and not be with the trends like you just said, or vice versa. You can be the trendiest girl and doing the same things that everybody else in the world is doing in terms of wearing, drinking, working out. But you might not have that like deep sense of human connection and community in your life. So like it is not true. And there is that disconnect, which is why I think chasing trends when they're not really aligned with us.
Jessica DeRose: Yeah Yeah. Yeah.
Karli Visconto: leaves us feeling like so empty or like a shell of ourselves because we're not being true to ourselves, you know?
Jessica DeRose: Yeah. Yeah. I'm so curious because I feel like just specifically talking about like trends in like clothes or like external things. I feel like you're very, I know you'd be very like confident in that department and I'll never ever, ever forget one day we were podcasting and I said to you, I was like, I wouldn't pick out that outfit that you have on like this hat with this, whatever the whole outfit. was like the, colors just don't match. Like they just straight up don't match.
Karli Visconto: Mm-hmm. I remember the exact outfit. They clashed.
Jessica DeRose: They opposite of matched. And I was just like, I looked at you and I was just like, I would never pick that out, but you rock it. You just make it a thing and it looks cool. So I'm curious, is that a confidence thing or do you constantly tell yourself, I'm gonna wear what I want to wear and I don't have to like. or follow the trends. So where the story is going is that you said to me, I'll never forget what you said, you said, I don't subscribe to matching clothes. And I, first of all, thought like Carly always says like little words and phrases that I just like think are so funny and unique. And like that phrase that just like, I will take that to my grave. Like that was so funny and like what the hell? Like who talks about subscribing to something in that way? But.
Karli Visconto: you You
Jessica DeRose: So I feel like I like use that now, but I When I'm getting dressed and I like really am thinking about what I want to wear I'm like you don't have to subscribe to it if you like want to wear this shirt and you want to wear these pants and wear them who cares so you've definitely Inspired me in that way, but I'm just curious like where that comes from
Karli Visconto: 100 % and. That's so funny. You just have me dying so hard. And I would just like to say this is why I describe my style as homeless chic, because it's kind of like she is wearing it confidently. So look, I guess we'll let her get away with it. But like also, did she pick those clothes up at Goodwill? Like what's going on? But with colors, yeah, like I actually love to like wear blacks and browns and like blacks and navy blues. Like I remember that used to be like a huge no-no.
Jessica DeRose: Yeah. and browns, yeah. Huge no.
Karli Visconto: And now mixed metals is into silver and gold, which I've loved doing. I still love doing it. Well, I have rings that actually have silver. I think you need a piece of jewelry that actually brings the two together. ⁓ But yeah, I don't know where my confidence comes from with that. I've kind of just always beat to my own drum. I don't know where that stems from because it's really not an inherent confidence thing. I don't think I'm lucky with confidence and like,
Jessica DeRose: Not my thing. Fine. Fine with rings. Yeah, yeah.
Karli Visconto: not plagued with insecurity and like don't care what people think like I do. I think when it comes to style specifically, that's just one thing I actually don't care that much about. Like I have friends that like live and die by the trends and like we go out and they have their outfits planned in a week in advance and they look so freaking cute and like they just have the clothes on lock. That's never going to be me. I'm like getting dressed five minutes before I leave. I would rather have my hair and makeup done. So when it comes to like clothes, I would say
Jessica DeRose: Yeah.
Karli Visconto: I just don't really care, but.
Jessica DeRose: Yeah. Maybe we just found that one thing that's like the outlier and the big topic that we're actually talking about. But I mean, it's like along the same lines, but.
Karli Visconto: Yeah. Yeah, because... curious though like when you are looking at trends like is there a point where you have been in the past like I really really do not like this but you've warmed up to it because I found myself in that position like even beating to my own drum I like warm up to the trends of something I hate at first and then it's like exposure therapy and I end up joining in just because it like rubs off on me
Jessica DeRose: ⁓ yeah. ⁓ my god, yeah. It does. That pure example that comes to mind is songs. This is not even a trend thing, but let's just say Justin Bieber comes out with a song. The first time I listen to it, I hate it. I hate it, I hate it. And then I listen to it, maybe, because it's on the radio, I'll listen to it like three, four, five times, and then I love it. It's weird. I know that was very random, but same can be applied.
Karli Visconto: Mmm, yeah. No, that's a thing.
Jessica DeRose: I'm just that's just what I'm thinking about off the top of my head. But I do actively think about trends and I hate them and I will never get behind them as well. Like there are certain things that I'm just like I'm not getting on the trend for that because I will never like it.
Karli Visconto: Okay, well now you have to name a few.
Jessica DeRose: Okay, well, first thing that came to mind, barrel jeans. I can't get with them. I'm sorry. I will say, some people look cute in them, but like 99 % of people do not. I just can't get behind them and I will not wear them. And other thing is capris.
Karli Visconto: ⁓ my gosh, same. Mm-hmm. I totally agree Yeah.
Jessica DeRose: I will never get back on the Capri trend. Even like the jeans that go like, they look like floods but like on purpose, or like a dress that does that, like I physically can't wear them. You know? No, like, you know some jeans like, I don't even know what, but it's like a maxi dress to say, like a midi dress. It like comes like, I don't know.
Karli Visconto: Wait, like a straight leg, Jean? Mm-hmm. Okay. ⁓ you're talking about strictly the length. yeah, it's a mini dress. Like, shin length? Shin.
Jessica DeRose: The length, Chin, chin. But then there are some pants. No, chin. But sometimes there's like ⁓ a style of jean that does that too. And they just like look straight up look like floods. Like they don't look cute. Yeah, that's my rant.
Karli Visconto: I think I know, like I think Zara has a few and they like go to like right above the ankle and like kind of flare a little bit maybe. It's funny because like trends, it depends on like what's flattering to your body type too, which I always think that's super interesting. You need to find your unique style. Now we're like really going off on just like fashion, but what works for somebody else, like Paige Disorba looks so freaking cute in capris, but her legs are like sticks and like the low rise coming back, like yeah.
Jessica DeRose: Yeah, I don't know. But they just don't look right. That's so true. Yeah. you Yeah. Yeah. I'm here for that. Bring back the low rise, please. I love a low rise.
Karli Visconto: Go off with that low rise. Well, I don't know how I feel about it, because if you have like an iota of a stomach, like it's not super flattering. You feel like your gut's hanging out.
Jessica DeRose: Yeah, I feel like it's definitely a confidence thing. High Rise has definitely been a nice like polar inner. But I don't know. I like my because I can't fucking fit into these high rise jeans. I love low rise because it's like one size like because my waist and my hips are like 10 sizes difference so I can never find so when you eliminate one of those then it's like I can fit in a good jeans. But yeah.
Karli Visconto: Yeah, stuck it in. Yeah, that's so funny. I love when you complain about that. I'm like, you have a slim waist and a big butt. No, it is so annoying to not be able to find jeans that actually fit you. But I think when you try to overlay trends with the clothes that you feel comfortable in and actually, I don't know, do justice to your natural body type.
Jessica DeRose: No, I will complain about it all day. I don't care. Mm. Yeah.
Karli Visconto: Like there's just, there's not always gonna be an intersection. So I think it's just interesting when like, like the barrel jeans, for example, like if you don't feel comfortable and confident in them, why would you, why would you wear them, you know?
Jessica DeRose: Yeah. Why, yeah. All right, let's get off the topic of fashion, because I feel like I'm going down a deep dive here. Your question was, is there anything that you don't like at first and then come around to? Is there anything that you can think of in that?
Karli Visconto: Okay. No, I actually...
Jessica DeRose: Really? You said you were thinking really hard about these questions. ⁓
Karli Visconto: That was one that I couldn't really come up with. I will say one thing that I've never been able to come around to is Birkenstocks. And I've been like, I never really liked them and I never bought a pair, like, I don't know, maybe like the, no, I really don't have an answer. I don't wanna just make one up for the sake of it. Do you?
Jessica DeRose: Hmm. Thank Not that I can like, probably, but not that I can think about right now. I mean...
Karli Visconto: Yeah.
Jessica DeRose: I feel like it was so long ago, but I feel like they've got to be on their way out, like high rise everything. But I feel like when they came out, I didn't really like them just because of like the way that it makes your butt look sometimes. Like high rise bathing suits sometimes like looks, yeah, thanks. I just wanted to be nice. But like you have to have a thong on for it to not look like a diaper, you know.
Karli Visconto: Yeah. Mm-hmm. looks like a diaper. So you know what this makes me think of? The difference in trends for women and what we think is attractive or with the times versus men. And so I know guys were so slow to come around to multiple things. I remember when big sunglasses were a thing, they're like, no. Red lipstick, no. High waisted jeans, they're like, why are you baggy jeans? They're like, you look like my dad. The New Balance sneakers. So it's just really interesting to me how
Jessica DeRose: Mmm. That's so funny. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Oh yeah.
Karli Visconto: The beauty is like in the eye of the beholder and girls like will die on a hill. And it's like, and I'm not saying.
Jessica DeRose: ⁓ my god. That's actually a great point. They will. And I think that, no, I think that we should listen to them more because I think that they are just so objective. They don't know what's fucking trendy and what's not trendy. Like, Ant and I have this conversation so much. Like, I will put something on and he'll be like, what is that? And I'm like, it's trendy, I promise. Or like, when you wear like a sweater with all the buttons buttoned, he's like, what the fuck is that?
Karli Visconto: Mm-hmm. Yes!
Jessica DeRose: like just unbuttoned somewhat like he's like you're supposed to wear it unbuttoned and I'm like yeah but it's trendy like you don't know what's trendy and so there's me do I think it's cute because wait I'm having deja vu right now ⁓ do I think it's cute because it's trendy I don't think that's a crime but I think like wearing something because because it's a trend and you don't inherently like it that's a crime does that make sense yeah
Karli Visconto: Loosen up a little bit. Mm-hmm. Yes, that's the problem. Yeah, like if you put something on and you don't Immediately feel cuter or more confident like that's a red flag like that's something you should tune into So if aunt were to look at you and be like, babe, what are you wearing? If you can confidently be like no This is like in and like I feel so good and like myself right now then you can move on through day, but if you found yourself but I'm saying if you found yourself being like
Jessica DeRose: Yeah. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Then like that's fine. ⁓ I usually do, honestly. Yeah.
Karli Visconto: yeah, you know what, I don't even know what I'm wearing right now. Like this is a trend, it's supposed to be trendy. And you feel like you kind of like recoil at that comment. Like that's a sign that yeah, probably you're just like wearing it for the wrong reasons. Like I think that's just like an example of how people can like get to the intention, yeah.
Jessica DeRose: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, it's a good check. But there are some things that he's like, ⁓ I love that. Like this sweater, I love, like, not that this is like trendy, but he's like, I love this. But I got this because it's like trending on TikTok. Like, you know what I mean? So he's a good barometer. Because they're just so objective, you know? They're just like, does that look good on your body or not? You know?
Karli Visconto: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Yeah. So, yeah, Jess is like, listen to the men more. But also, there's instances where like we don't dress for the male gaze. So think they can help us like determine if we're wearing it for the right reasons because they are objective. But I wouldn't necessarily trust their opinion through and through because sometimes I'm like, no trust. Like, this looks good. I actually don't care what you think. but like I know that I feel good, you know what I mean? So we can consider them, but they're not the end all be all.
Jessica DeRose: Yeah. Yeah, yeah fine. ⁓ fine. I'll hop on that
Karli Visconto: Okay, moving away from the clothes because I think it's really interesting. I don't know.
Jessica DeRose: How did we get there? Someone pulled me right back. I don't know who it was.
Karli Visconto: We tried to get off and then... It shows up in so many other ways. And I was just even thinking about career, right? I feel like it's very socially validated to follow a safe path or be in corporate America or have that stable, quote unquote, nine to five. And if you were to go against the grain and be an independent contractor or an influencer,
Jessica DeRose: It does.
Karli Visconto: or join a startup, like people kind of look at you and again, like might have some choice words about it, whether it's like family or friends or colleagues or whatever. And so I think it just shows up like in way bigger situations.
Jessica DeRose: Yeah. Yeah, I mean, that's very true. And I think it's exactly what we talk about when we do our college talk. It's like, you don't have to go with the grain. everyone staying true to themselves actually looks like no trends at all or no right way to do things. And so, yeah, I like recently had a conversation with my brother because he's like,
Karli Visconto: Hmm.
Jessica DeRose: in college and he's thinking about switching paths like very drastically and we were just talking about it and I was like he was like yeah you know like when you make a choice like this like people kind of like look at you funny and they're just like really? And I was like, you know what? I've learned that when people are doing that, that's when you have to keep going. That means that you're on the right path. And that was my one-liner. I'm just like, it's so fucking true. We spend our whole lives trying to impress or feel like we're on the right track. And for what? For what? There is no right track. They want to swim with the fishes. What's it called? The word.
Karli Visconto: Yes, stress. What is the right track? Because the people that are on the right track... The current, some of the current.
Jessica DeRose: No, no, the school of fishes.
Karli Visconto: of the school of fishes, yeah. But it's funny, because the people that are encouraging you to swim with the current and with the school of fishes and go in the predetermined path often don't even want to be on it themselves. They are the ones that aren't happy. ⁓ she lost her AirPods, so she can't hear me. Can you hear me again? Yeah, I was just saying often when people are...
Jessica DeRose: Wait, hold on, I lost my airpods. Sorry, Repeat. Can you repeat? Okay, can you repeat? yeah. After...
Karli Visconto: We are like off the sauce today. There's like a lag or something. ⁓ cracking up. They themselves don't even want to be on like the right.
Jessica DeRose: What?
Karli Visconto: No, I have the giggles.
Jessica DeRose: There wasn't even something that funny.
Karli Visconto: You're so delayed and you were just like your face. Yeah, that was I don't know why that just happened when your air pod fell out. Whatever. Hopefully we'll get back on track. I was saying when people are like going down like the traditional path and they're trying to convince you from straying from it, like I think most of the time they don't even they're not even happy themselves. It's almost like misery loves company. And it's like, well, why would I take advice from you? No offense, but like.
Jessica DeRose: ⁓ really? Yeah. Yeah. No, it, yeah. I think it's like taking advice from people that are doing the things that you want to do. So like your mom who's swimming in the school with all the fish, like that's like her advice is where you're going to end up.
Karli Visconto: I actually am gonna take the risk.
Jessica DeRose: Does that make sense? Like listening to the people that are smarter than you and that are doing the things that you want to do, you know? And it's often only the ones that are actually doing something on like off track that give you that advice. Like no one else will really tell you like go dream big and do all the things, you know?
Karli Visconto: Mm-hmm. Yes, I love. Yeah, yeah. And it comes down to like what people are comfortable with themselves. So advice is going to differ depending on like that person's personal risk tolerance or experience in life with their own like risk taking if it worked out well or not, maybe they have a jaded view. So like everybody in the current moment, they're shaped by all the moments that came before. And so their advice and their perspective is gonna differ. And so you might have not had that jaded experience that somebody in your life did. And so therefore you don't have to take.
Jessica DeRose: Yeah, true. Yeah.
Karli Visconto: their advice because maybe your outcome will be different. And so I think it's just like really powerful to like keep that perspective. And it's also funny, like, they always say you're at what are like a byproduct of like the five people that you surround yourself with, like you're an average of them. So like the company that you keep is like so important because they also have an influence on you and like how you think and how you move.
Jessica DeRose: Yeah. Yeah, so true. They do. And that's the only part of your life that you have control over that influences you, right? It's like the people that you choose to be around the most. Like that is just a straight up choice. So.
Karli Visconto: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Yeah. I also wanted to call out, because this has been really top of mind for my friend group, because literally everybody is pregnant. And we've talked a little bit about this before with like comparison culture and like timelines and milestones, but really like the notion of when all of your friends start maybe getting married or having children and you feeling like you're like missing the bandwagon or you're behind. And I know I have friends that are like kind of feeling a certain way right now. And it's just really hard when you do feel like something is quote unquote trending or you're feeling influenced to do something that you either aren't ready for or you are ready for, but just hasn't happened for you yet. And then you inherently feel like you're doing like something wrong or like missing the boat. Like I just feel like it's really hard.
Jessica DeRose: Yeah. Yeah. Mm-hmm. Yeah, and it's not even a product of like a trend. It's kind of just like things that are happening around you and it's just I think what makes you feel bad is just like thinking about it for yourself. Like it just because it's like so close to you, it just makes you think about that thing more often for yourself than it would if that wasn't happening around you. You know, like no one's trying to influence you or like, you know what I mean?
Karli Visconto: Mm-hmm. So yes, and that kind of goes back. Yeah.
Jessica DeRose: That's like very comparison poetry. Yeah.
Karli Visconto: Which I think goes back to what we just saying like if something is around you and you have like enough exposure to it it will eventually start growing on you like a song or like the shoes that you hate it but you've seen a thousand times and you look really like I'm actually getting flashbacks I used to work with somebody and she talked a certain way and like rolled her R's a certain way and I was around her all of the time because we had the really close working quarters and so I literally started to like emulate her speech like it was
Jessica DeRose: Mm-hmm. Yeah. I know. Yeah. Wait, you don't remember when I came home from Charleston and I had a Philly accent? I'm not kidding. Yeah, but that's funny. But like, that's so subconscious. Like, that goes back to our ancestors, I guess, right? It's just, oh my god, it's so crazy. Yeah. Yeah.
Karli Visconto: I forgot about that. Yeah. Yep. Yeah, I mean, I think it's just the power of like the brain and like what we take in. It happens on a subconscious level. It's not always like choosing the genes that you don't like because they're like trendy right now. Like sometimes it literally infiltrates your brain and you cannot decide what you truly like or what you're truly, you know, like deep down versus what you've been like conditioned.
Jessica DeRose: Yeah. Yeah. That's why it's so hard to differentiate. Like, do I actually like this or is it just trendy? You know? And I think, like, what's been really top of mind for me is obviously ⁓ my fashion. And I've been trying to be really ⁓ just, thoughtful about, like, what I'm choosing to buy, number one, and also choosing to wear. So, like, I...
Karli Visconto: Mm-hmm.
Jessica DeRose: I, lot of time, like this is frequent situation where I'll get dressed at home and I will love what I'm wearing because it just feels true to me and I like leave the house feeling so good about my outfit. And then I show up somewhere with a bunch of people and I compare myself to what everyone else is wearing and they are very trendy. They just look so chic and like cool. And I just like compare myself and I'm like, oh my God, I like feel like I'm dressed in 2010 and these girls, and I just feel like such an outsider. So I feel like, where did that start? What was the point of this? Oh yeah, so like, cause I'm just like, so I'm like, wait, what the hell? Like nothing changed. I still really loved my outfit, but so I'm trying to be more intentional about like, I like this outfit because I like it and I'm going to wear it because I like it and not necessarily like trying to fit in, you know.
Karli Visconto: that you're trying to be more intentional. Because I think I know where you're going with this. Yeah. Yeah, I think the most telling part about that, like hypothetical example or not so hypothetical was that you felt really cute and confident before leaving the house. And so I think that alone is super telling that without any of the other variables or any other factors and external influence, you felt good and you liked your outfit. And I think that's a great barometer. Would you choose it if no one else could see it? And you would.
Jessica DeRose: Yeah. Mm-hmm. Yeah. ⁓ yeah. Yeah. I know.
Karli Visconto: I think that's a little check that people can always do to like kind of come back because it is hard to distinguish like and I think even as you're like evolving as a person, you want to stay true to yourself and obviously you're going to change over time. But like how do you stay true to yourself and evolve as an individual should without being like overly influenced by external factors that like aren't true to you? Like I think it just comes down to like really tuning into what feels aligned and authentic to you.
Jessica DeRose: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, and that's a great callback to everything we've ever said on Only Human.
Karli Visconto: No, literally.
Jessica DeRose: Okay, my lab's op is at 5%. It is dwindling. So do you want to do our only human moment? Okay. It was fully charged. No, you know how it's like broken? Like it's not, it doesn't work. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. On the deck. Um, but it's probably best cause we could just yap for all day and I feel like 35 minutes is like perfect. Um, or am I so delayed? Yeah.
Karli Visconto: Yes, I thought you had a fully charged laptop when we started. ⁓ my gosh. Jess is on the porch right now or outside, so we gotta work with what we got. Okay. true. a little bit, go ahead, you go first.
Jessica DeRose: Okay, I can go first. Mine's like kind of silly, but today I was running errands and I like specifically went to the FedEx store to return something and didn't bring it. And then I proceeded to go to Costco to get like a couple things on my list. I ended up getting more than what I was supposed to get. And I got to the checkout, checked out everything right before I paid, realized I didn't get one of the things that I actually came there for. And it was just like a reminder that I'm just like literally onto the next thing before I even get done the first thing. And I just like need to slow the hell down and not just like the epitome of my life. Like, I don't know. It's very annoying.
Karli Visconto: Your video is in slow motion and it's so dramatic right now. It's so funny. You look like you're in like a sad movie and you just like lost somebody close to you. Okay. So my only human, I will, always I'll keep this quick, but I really will. I'm just like feeling very anxious about the weekend ahead. Obviously we have our only human ⁓ Pilates event on Saturday and then Sunday. I, or sorry, no, that's on Sunday. See, I am all confused and turned around.
Jessica DeRose: ⁓ my god. my gosh. Yeah, yeah, Sunday.
Karli Visconto: I have a birthday party Saturday, which my sister also gets home from Florence on Saturday. I'm barely going to see her. And then I go to the only human event. You're not going to that, right? You're working. So doing that and then driving right to the airport to go to Dallas for a work conference for a couple of days. And then I come back and like the day I come back, we have like the strikeout, the stigma for the Phillies and like the conference I'm going to has nothing to do with the project that I'm on, which is like full steam ahead. So
Jessica DeRose: Mm-mm. Mmm.
Karli Visconto: I just feel extremely overwhelmed and I'm just living in the present and just being really anxious about what's to come instead of just being where my feet are. And I think that's just like causing a swirl. Like I haven't slept well. I've woken up at 430 in the morning, like every morning. So it is what it is. This too shall pass, but I'm a, I'm a ball of angst.
Jessica DeRose: Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. No, that is literally, I can feel that. I just like try to remind myself that I'm getting anxiety over the things that haven't even happened yet. And like objectively, it's just kind of ridiculous. Like why am going to ruin my today when this stuff is not even to be worried about yet or to be gone through yet? Like it's just quite silly. So I definitely feel you there and I hope you start to feel better and can decompress tonight and tomorrow. Yeah.
Karli Visconto: Mm-hmm. Yeah. Thanks, appreciate it. Well, have fun at dinner. I know we're on bar time with your laptop, so have a good night.
Jessica DeRose: Thanks. ⁓ my god, literally. Alright, bye. Thanks for listening. You're like saying goodbye to me, not the audience. Alright, bye.
Karli Visconto: See you next week! ⁓ Bye.
Jessica DeRose: Alright, I gotta run up and put this on the charger before it completely dies. Alright. Bye.
Karli Visconto: Okay. Yeah. Okay. Bye.
Karli Visconto: There we go, now we're even. How are you? I'm a little stressed. Yeah, I literally like logged on and look, I think looked at myself for the first time today. I was like, oh, that's how I feel. is now 420 in the afternoon. I've been on calls all day and I'm like, I still don't feel like I look like a human and somehow just looked like I rolled out of bed. But yeah, work has been full on. And I think we also have a lot of like exciting stuff. Like obviously we're trying to hire.
Jessica DeRose: You're like, mmm, good. Yeah.
Karli Visconto: a social media manager slash content creators. Like that's been really exciting, but there's just so many moving parts.
Jessica DeRose: Yeah, so much. And then there's like other things that we're trying to do that are also moving parts and the grad never stops, but it makes it harder when your job is crazy.
Karli Visconto: Yeah, and people always do say like when you start your own thing, like boundaries don't exist. And we actually had like a really good conversation last weekend around boundaries just within our communication because it's not fair for us to always be bombarded alongside of our full time job. And I think it's like really healthy to find those boundaries, not only with ourself and with the work, but respecting the boundaries of each other.
Jessica DeRose: Mm-hmm.
Karli Visconto: And it's hard because obviously we're so passionate about this and I would work on only human literally 24 hours a day if I could. But it's frustrating when you just simply can't because you have like other, you know, other commitments that you need to give to. Yeah, that old thing.
Jessica DeRose: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, like a full-time job. Like, just like little things. Like, yeah, no biggie. ⁓ my gosh, yeah. We have like three full-time jobs.
Karli Visconto: But also, I will just say, I do love the full-time job though, because it takes the pressure off of only human. Could you imagine if this was like our lifeline and we had to rely on income? It would take the fun out of it. And I kind of like really enjoy that we have that balance because this can just be a hobby for now.
Jessica DeRose: Yeah. Yeah, for sure. Yeah, yeah for sure. I mean I think I would like to be maybe like part-time. That would be a good balance. Maybe not full-time, part-time sounds good. Yeah, a little bit of stability, a little bit of fun, you know, just like mix it all together. But yeah, we're finding the balance every day and it's ever-changing. Yeah.
Karli Visconto: Yeah, half and half. Yeah. It is ever changing. But yeah, everything ebbs and flows. You inspired this episode topic today because you did. Do you me to tell you the moment that it clicked? So when we were together last weekend, we did a Pilates event at Flawless Fitness. It wasn't even like a Pilates event, but I just talked for their like celebration. Then we went to Steel Penny Cafe. And I'm pretty sure it was on that day you were talking about how you've been trying to
Jessica DeRose: Yeah. Wait, I did? Okay, wait, why? ⁓ my god, yeah.
Karli Visconto: wear more color because that is you to your core. You love wearing pink, you love wearing bright colors, but somewhere along the line, you've kind of been taught or conditioned that that's like, quote unquote, uncool or like chuggy or not on trend because right now everyone's wearing neutrals and monochromatic outfits. And you're like, I'm just trying to reconnect with myself. Like I just love wearing color.
Jessica DeRose: Mm-hmm. Yeah. Mm-hmm. Yeah? Yeah? especially pink. But today I wore bright blue leggings. I'm just like, this is not like, and it didn't match, it was with actually with this, but I was just like, I don't know, I just like it. I feel like that's the part of me that's bold. My personality isn't bold, I don't wear crazy things, but I don't know, I just like the color. And I was showing Carly pictures of my childhood bedroom.
Karli Visconto: especially. ⁓ my God.
Jessica DeRose: That's when color, ⁓ let me just say this, that's when color was cool. Color will come back and I will have my day and everyone's gonna think, yeah, that like monochromatic and gray and beige is boring, but for right now, I feel like the outsider. But yeah, ⁓ my gosh, that's funny. I really have, yeah. wearing colors, that's it. Yeah.
Karli Visconto: Everything is cyclical. So that's what we're gonna be talking about today. Wearing colors, that's the topic. That's the deep topic. But it kind of is full circle, because we actually floated this idea like months ago. And so when you said that, it just kind of reminded me of it. And so the broader theme is really just like the pressure to fit in or like be on trends and like the power of influence in this day and age, especially with social media. And when I say the power, I don't necessarily mean the good type of power. I mean, it can come with...
Jessica DeRose: Yeah. Mm. Yeah.
Karli Visconto: an extreme downside to where it feels like you almost need to go with the grain or you're like quote unquote not in the in crowd. And I think that can show up in a lot of different ways. So I'm excited to get into them today.
Jessica DeRose: Yeah. Yeah. I feel like now more than ever, just you saying influence, I just think about influencers and that's their exact purpose. And so I feel like it just, the pressure or the pull to fit in has just really amplified in the last, I don't know, maybe definitely last five years, but probably the last 10, pretty much in social media, I guess you could say. But.
Karli Visconto: Yeah. Totally. mean, the influencer economy is like reshaping the way that young people work and make money. And so it's only fitting that it's like super prevalent in the way that we like move throughout society and how it has an impact on our life, because not even just like the major influences anymore, it's like a micro influencer surge as well. So you don't even need the followers to be hopping on the trends and showcasing and influencing other people to hop on them too. So it's just really interesting how like it's.
Jessica DeRose: ⁓ my god. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Karli Visconto: really at the forefront right now in so many different ways.
Jessica DeRose: Yeah, it really is. ⁓ What are some things that you feel like are really prevalent right now? Like what's trendy right now?
Karli Visconto: That's so funny because I feel like one is top of mind. Motherfucking sardines, which might I.
Jessica DeRose: I'm not on the- have no idea about this trend. I don't know about this trend.
Karli Visconto: Are you kidding? It's all... See, that's what's funny about trends is some things make it to certain people's algorithms and then not others. So like you can think something is trending and I have no idea about it and vice versa. But no, like sardines are having a moment because everyone's realizing how good they are for your skin. They're like high in omegas. Yeah. No, literally. And what's funny is...
Jessica DeRose: Yeah. You're like, have no idea. Yeah. The sardine industry is just like clapping. They are so excited. They can't keep up.
Karli Visconto: I used to eat these in college, so I was way ahead of my time. But I'll eat anything for health benefit. I'll do anything, I'll eat anything. Don't have to twist my arm. But yeah, so sardines is one of them. I also feel like matcha is something that's become trendy over the last five years. It's a little bit on its way out, but the amount of people that I've seen being like, wanna like matcha so bad, I'm gonna try it 17 different ways, because I'm committed, even though it tastes like dirt and grass to me. I'm like, girl, just don't drink the matcha.
Jessica DeRose: Mm-hmm Yeah. Just we don't have to drink it. Yeah
Karli Visconto: It's fine. And then like low intensity working out. like obviously Pilates. ⁓ Yeah. Can you think of others?
Jessica DeRose: Yeah, Pilates is having a moment. Yeah. I think just like the workout set, like just a workout set in general, not like a matching monocrat like workout set, like a set. I don't know where along the lines that happened, but like it's definitely a trend.
Karli Visconto: Mm. That's actually funny, because I wouldn't be called dead not in a set right now. I almost feel like that's so 2010s. I would feel like a peasant. No, I would. That's all I wear. I'm thinking of wearing black leggings and a red top or something. And why? I don't know.
Jessica DeRose: Wait, wait, wait, you would be... You wouldn't be caught in a set? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, that's what I do all the time because I don't have sets. I just have like pieces. I black leggings and then I have tops.
Karli Visconto: But it's, you know what's funny? When you do it, it's cute because it's on brand. I would never look at you and be like, Jess isn't wearing a set. Like think that speaks to the power of that's inherently you and I know that about you. So I would never question that. But for me, I feel like I'm, I don't know. I feel like I'm kind of like a set girl.
Jessica DeRose: You're like above a set, like above that. No, I'm kidding. Like I wouldn't get caught dead not wearing a set, so.
Karli Visconto: No, precisely. I just don't think it's my vibe. I don't know. What do you think?
Jessica DeRose: Why? What is a vibe about it? I don't understand. It's like the same pieces of clothing, the colors are just different.
Karli Visconto: It's like, yeah, but I am also like a monochromatic person. feel like I am more like matchy matchy, I'm neutrals. Like I feel like I have more of like a clean aesthetic, but like also like a homeless chic, whereas, now I don't wanna say you're like quirky. That's like always been, I swear, my like tagline fashion sense. It's like she could be homeless or she could just be chic, but she's probably homeless.
Jessica DeRose: Do you know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Did you just make that up? Homeless. She could be chic. That's how I feel about Justin Bieber. That man looks homeless all the time. I don't understand. Okay, rant over.
Karli Visconto: Yeah Yeah It's so true Yeah, anyway, so I do agree with you. I do think sets are like all the rage ⁓
Jessica DeRose: No, no, no, wait. Go back to the point where you were saying that I was... Wait, what did you say?
Karli Visconto: Yeah, you're like, you're like, finish your thought you I feel like just have a little bit Did I actually say the word quirky or did you just know Okay, Don't know if you just read my mind. I know I was going there I just didn't know if you would finish my sentence like one does ⁓ You just embrace like color I just think you do not strike me as somebody that's like super concerned about like the matchy matchy and like Like that's just not your vibe
Jessica DeRose: No, no, no, because you were about to call me quirky. You were like, not quirky. Yes. Roll the tape back. Yeah. I don't know.
Karli Visconto: It's just like, can't really explain it. It's just like, I feel like people that know you will understand.
Jessica DeRose: I also, it's like, it's not offensive, but I'm just like, I wanna be that person. But do I wanna be that person because it's trendy?
Karli Visconto: Well, let's talk about it because I think there's like an inherent desire to like be pulled into the trends and like really want that.
Jessica DeRose: Cause that's like a cool girl vibe. I'm like, okay, I want to be a cool girl. Like I'm going to wear a set, you know? I don't know.
Karli Visconto: Yeah, yeah, I was actually reflecting on this conversation or this question because obviously I take everything back to like our ancestors in biology. And I'm like, where actually does this come from? Like the trends and like this deep desire to be included. Wait for it.
Jessica DeRose: How are you about to, ⁓ it's gonna say, how are you about to really a workout set to our ancestors? This is good, this is gonna be good.
Karli Visconto: Just wait for it. I feel like as humans, we are wired for belonging and like sense of connection. And that makes us feel safe, right? It always has in all the times before to come and times to come. But I feel like when we go against the grain, that kind of like takes away that safety from us. It kind of feels like we're like sticking out or be like being put on display.
Jessica DeRose: Mm-hmm. Yeah. Yeah.
Karli Visconto: Which historically, if you're on display or you're going against the community, you're at risk, right? Like back in the day. And so I just feel like in the modern day, being different opens doors for potential vertical or judgment. I even think about starting figured out about my podcast back in twenty twenty two and like not many people were doing podcasts yet. And I was like, this is so cringy. Like, I feel like I'm opening the doors for like so many opinions and like just so many eyes.
Jessica DeRose: Yeah. Yeah. Mm-hmm.
Karli Visconto: And so I don't think people like to be like, quote unquote, different or unique anymore because they're kind of scared of what comes with that territory.
Jessica DeRose: Yeah. Yeah, I mean, I think it's very human and then also like, like I kind of said, it's very much amplified, which a lot of the things are amplified because of social media, but I think that we've just truly taken it to a new level. think like a sense of community can be had without trends, but like that inherent, like we, I think we've just made it.
Karli Visconto: Yeah. Mm-hmm.
Jessica DeRose: not about humanity, we've made it about external things. And that's why that crosses those bounds, if that makes sense. It's not about actually having community, it's about fitting in externally. Two things can be true. You can have community and not be with the trend.
Karli Visconto: Yeah, like more materialistic. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Mm-hmm.
Jessica DeRose: But yeah, no, I definitely understand that deep desire to belong, but I think we've just screwed it up and really messed up what that looks like in the modern day.
Karli Visconto: I love that, because that is so freaking true. Like you can have community and not be with the trends like you just said, or vice versa. You can be the trendiest girl and doing the same things that everybody else in the world is doing in terms of wearing, drinking, working out. But you might not have that like deep sense of human connection and community in your life. So like it is not true. And there is that disconnect, which is why I think chasing trends when they're not really aligned with us.
Jessica DeRose: Yeah Yeah. Yeah.
Karli Visconto: leaves us feeling like so empty or like a shell of ourselves because we're not being true to ourselves, you know?
Jessica DeRose: Yeah. Yeah. I'm so curious because I feel like just specifically talking about like trends in like clothes or like external things. I feel like you're very, I know you'd be very like confident in that department and I'll never ever, ever forget one day we were podcasting and I said to you, I was like, I wouldn't pick out that outfit that you have on like this hat with this, whatever the whole outfit. was like the, colors just don't match. Like they just straight up don't match.
Karli Visconto: Mm-hmm. I remember the exact outfit. They clashed.
Jessica DeRose: They opposite of matched. And I was just like, I looked at you and I was just like, I would never pick that out, but you rock it. You just make it a thing and it looks cool. So I'm curious, is that a confidence thing or do you constantly tell yourself, I'm gonna wear what I want to wear and I don't have to like. or follow the trends. So where the story is going is that you said to me, I'll never forget what you said, you said, I don't subscribe to matching clothes. And I, first of all, thought like Carly always says like little words and phrases that I just like think are so funny and unique. And like that phrase that just like, I will take that to my grave. Like that was so funny and like what the hell? Like who talks about subscribing to something in that way? But.
Karli Visconto: you You
Jessica DeRose: So I feel like I like use that now, but I When I'm getting dressed and I like really am thinking about what I want to wear I'm like you don't have to subscribe to it if you like want to wear this shirt and you want to wear these pants and wear them who cares so you've definitely Inspired me in that way, but I'm just curious like where that comes from
Karli Visconto: 100 % and. That's so funny. You just have me dying so hard. And I would just like to say this is why I describe my style as homeless chic, because it's kind of like she is wearing it confidently. So look, I guess we'll let her get away with it. But like also, did she pick those clothes up at Goodwill? Like what's going on? But with colors, yeah, like I actually love to like wear blacks and browns and like blacks and navy blues. Like I remember that used to be like a huge no-no.
Jessica DeRose: Yeah. and browns, yeah. Huge no.
Karli Visconto: And now mixed metals is into silver and gold, which I've loved doing. I still love doing it. Well, I have rings that actually have silver. I think you need a piece of jewelry that actually brings the two together. ⁓ But yeah, I don't know where my confidence comes from with that. I've kind of just always beat to my own drum. I don't know where that stems from because it's really not an inherent confidence thing. I don't think I'm lucky with confidence and like,
Jessica DeRose: Not my thing. Fine. Fine with rings. Yeah, yeah.
Karli Visconto: not plagued with insecurity and like don't care what people think like I do. I think when it comes to style specifically, that's just one thing I actually don't care that much about. Like I have friends that like live and die by the trends and like we go out and they have their outfits planned in a week in advance and they look so freaking cute and like they just have the clothes on lock. That's never going to be me. I'm like getting dressed five minutes before I leave. I would rather have my hair and makeup done. So when it comes to like clothes, I would say
Jessica DeRose: Yeah.
Karli Visconto: I just don't really care, but.
Jessica DeRose: Yeah. Maybe we just found that one thing that's like the outlier and the big topic that we're actually talking about. But I mean, it's like along the same lines, but.
Karli Visconto: Yeah. Yeah, because... curious though like when you are looking at trends like is there a point where you have been in the past like I really really do not like this but you've warmed up to it because I found myself in that position like even beating to my own drum I like warm up to the trends of something I hate at first and then it's like exposure therapy and I end up joining in just because it like rubs off on me
Jessica DeRose: ⁓ yeah. ⁓ my god, yeah. It does. That pure example that comes to mind is songs. This is not even a trend thing, but let's just say Justin Bieber comes out with a song. The first time I listen to it, I hate it. I hate it, I hate it. And then I listen to it, maybe, because it's on the radio, I'll listen to it like three, four, five times, and then I love it. It's weird. I know that was very random, but same can be applied.
Karli Visconto: Mmm, yeah. No, that's a thing.
Jessica DeRose: I'm just that's just what I'm thinking about off the top of my head. But I do actively think about trends and I hate them and I will never get behind them as well. Like there are certain things that I'm just like I'm not getting on the trend for that because I will never like it.
Karli Visconto: Okay, well now you have to name a few.
Jessica DeRose: Okay, well, first thing that came to mind, barrel jeans. I can't get with them. I'm sorry. I will say, some people look cute in them, but like 99 % of people do not. I just can't get behind them and I will not wear them. And other thing is capris.
Karli Visconto: ⁓ my gosh, same. Mm-hmm. I totally agree Yeah.
Jessica DeRose: I will never get back on the Capri trend. Even like the jeans that go like, they look like floods but like on purpose, or like a dress that does that, like I physically can't wear them. You know? No, like, you know some jeans like, I don't even know what, but it's like a maxi dress to say, like a midi dress. It like comes like, I don't know.
Karli Visconto: Wait, like a straight leg, Jean? Mm-hmm. Okay. ⁓ you're talking about strictly the length. yeah, it's a mini dress. Like, shin length? Shin.
Jessica DeRose: The length, Chin, chin. But then there are some pants. No, chin. But sometimes there's like ⁓ a style of jean that does that too. And they just like look straight up look like floods. Like they don't look cute. Yeah, that's my rant.
Karli Visconto: I think I know, like I think Zara has a few and they like go to like right above the ankle and like kind of flare a little bit maybe. It's funny because like trends, it depends on like what's flattering to your body type too, which I always think that's super interesting. You need to find your unique style. Now we're like really going off on just like fashion, but what works for somebody else, like Paige Disorba looks so freaking cute in capris, but her legs are like sticks and like the low rise coming back, like yeah.
Jessica DeRose: Yeah, I don't know. But they just don't look right. That's so true. Yeah. you Yeah. Yeah. I'm here for that. Bring back the low rise, please. I love a low rise.
Karli Visconto: Go off with that low rise. Well, I don't know how I feel about it, because if you have like an iota of a stomach, like it's not super flattering. You feel like your gut's hanging out.
Jessica DeRose: Yeah, I feel like it's definitely a confidence thing. High Rise has definitely been a nice like polar inner. But I don't know. I like my because I can't fucking fit into these high rise jeans. I love low rise because it's like one size like because my waist and my hips are like 10 sizes difference so I can never find so when you eliminate one of those then it's like I can fit in a good jeans. But yeah.
Karli Visconto: Yeah, stuck it in. Yeah, that's so funny. I love when you complain about that. I'm like, you have a slim waist and a big butt. No, it is so annoying to not be able to find jeans that actually fit you. But I think when you try to overlay trends with the clothes that you feel comfortable in and actually, I don't know, do justice to your natural body type.
Jessica DeRose: No, I will complain about it all day. I don't care. Mm. Yeah.
Karli Visconto: Like there's just, there's not always gonna be an intersection. So I think it's just interesting when like, like the barrel jeans, for example, like if you don't feel comfortable and confident in them, why would you, why would you wear them, you know?
Jessica DeRose: Yeah. Why, yeah. All right, let's get off the topic of fashion, because I feel like I'm going down a deep dive here. Your question was, is there anything that you don't like at first and then come around to? Is there anything that you can think of in that?
Karli Visconto: Okay. No, I actually...
Jessica DeRose: Really? You said you were thinking really hard about these questions. ⁓
Karli Visconto: That was one that I couldn't really come up with. I will say one thing that I've never been able to come around to is Birkenstocks. And I've been like, I never really liked them and I never bought a pair, like, I don't know, maybe like the, no, I really don't have an answer. I don't wanna just make one up for the sake of it. Do you?
Jessica DeRose: Hmm. Thank Not that I can like, probably, but not that I can think about right now. I mean...
Karli Visconto: Yeah.
Jessica DeRose: I feel like it was so long ago, but I feel like they've got to be on their way out, like high rise everything. But I feel like when they came out, I didn't really like them just because of like the way that it makes your butt look sometimes. Like high rise bathing suits sometimes like looks, yeah, thanks. I just wanted to be nice. But like you have to have a thong on for it to not look like a diaper, you know.
Karli Visconto: Yeah. Mm-hmm. looks like a diaper. So you know what this makes me think of? The difference in trends for women and what we think is attractive or with the times versus men. And so I know guys were so slow to come around to multiple things. I remember when big sunglasses were a thing, they're like, no. Red lipstick, no. High waisted jeans, they're like, why are you baggy jeans? They're like, you look like my dad. The New Balance sneakers. So it's just really interesting to me how
Jessica DeRose: Mmm. That's so funny. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Oh yeah.
Karli Visconto: The beauty is like in the eye of the beholder and girls like will die on a hill. And it's like, and I'm not saying.
Jessica DeRose: ⁓ my god. That's actually a great point. They will. And I think that, no, I think that we should listen to them more because I think that they are just so objective. They don't know what's fucking trendy and what's not trendy. Like, Ant and I have this conversation so much. Like, I will put something on and he'll be like, what is that? And I'm like, it's trendy, I promise. Or like, when you wear like a sweater with all the buttons buttoned, he's like, what the fuck is that?
Karli Visconto: Mm-hmm. Yes!
Jessica DeRose: like just unbuttoned somewhat like he's like you're supposed to wear it unbuttoned and I'm like yeah but it's trendy like you don't know what's trendy and so there's me do I think it's cute because wait I'm having deja vu right now ⁓ do I think it's cute because it's trendy I don't think that's a crime but I think like wearing something because because it's a trend and you don't inherently like it that's a crime does that make sense yeah
Karli Visconto: Loosen up a little bit. Mm-hmm. Yes, that's the problem. Yeah, like if you put something on and you don't Immediately feel cuter or more confident like that's a red flag like that's something you should tune into So if aunt were to look at you and be like, babe, what are you wearing? If you can confidently be like no This is like in and like I feel so good and like myself right now then you can move on through day, but if you found yourself but I'm saying if you found yourself being like
Jessica DeRose: Yeah. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Then like that's fine. ⁓ I usually do, honestly. Yeah.
Karli Visconto: yeah, you know what, I don't even know what I'm wearing right now. Like this is a trend, it's supposed to be trendy. And you feel like you kind of like recoil at that comment. Like that's a sign that yeah, probably you're just like wearing it for the wrong reasons. Like I think that's just like an example of how people can like get to the intention, yeah.
Jessica DeRose: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, it's a good check. But there are some things that he's like, ⁓ I love that. Like this sweater, I love, like, not that this is like trendy, but he's like, I love this. But I got this because it's like trending on TikTok. Like, you know what I mean? So he's a good barometer. Because they're just so objective, you know? They're just like, does that look good on your body or not? You know?
Karli Visconto: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Yeah. So, yeah, Jess is like, listen to the men more. But also, there's instances where like we don't dress for the male gaze. So think they can help us like determine if we're wearing it for the right reasons because they are objective. But I wouldn't necessarily trust their opinion through and through because sometimes I'm like, no trust. Like, this looks good. I actually don't care what you think. but like I know that I feel good, you know what I mean? So we can consider them, but they're not the end all be all.
Jessica DeRose: Yeah. Yeah, yeah fine. ⁓ fine. I'll hop on that
Karli Visconto: Okay, moving away from the clothes because I think it's really interesting. I don't know.
Jessica DeRose: How did we get there? Someone pulled me right back. I don't know who it was.
Karli Visconto: We tried to get off and then... It shows up in so many other ways. And I was just even thinking about career, right? I feel like it's very socially validated to follow a safe path or be in corporate America or have that stable, quote unquote, nine to five. And if you were to go against the grain and be an independent contractor or an influencer,
Jessica DeRose: It does.
Karli Visconto: or join a startup, like people kind of look at you and again, like might have some choice words about it, whether it's like family or friends or colleagues or whatever. And so I think it just shows up like in way bigger situations.
Jessica DeRose: Yeah. Yeah, I mean, that's very true. And I think it's exactly what we talk about when we do our college talk. It's like, you don't have to go with the grain. everyone staying true to themselves actually looks like no trends at all or no right way to do things. And so, yeah, I like recently had a conversation with my brother because he's like,
Karli Visconto: Hmm.
Jessica DeRose: in college and he's thinking about switching paths like very drastically and we were just talking about it and I was like he was like yeah you know like when you make a choice like this like people kind of like look at you funny and they're just like really? And I was like, you know what? I've learned that when people are doing that, that's when you have to keep going. That means that you're on the right path. And that was my one-liner. I'm just like, it's so fucking true. We spend our whole lives trying to impress or feel like we're on the right track. And for what? For what? There is no right track. They want to swim with the fishes. What's it called? The word.
Karli Visconto: Yes, stress. What is the right track? Because the people that are on the right track... The current, some of the current.
Jessica DeRose: No, no, the school of fishes.
Karli Visconto: of the school of fishes, yeah. But it's funny, because the people that are encouraging you to swim with the current and with the school of fishes and go in the predetermined path often don't even want to be on it themselves. They are the ones that aren't happy. ⁓ she lost her AirPods, so she can't hear me. Can you hear me again? Yeah, I was just saying often when people are...
Jessica DeRose: Wait, hold on, I lost my airpods. Sorry, Repeat. Can you repeat? Okay, can you repeat? yeah. After...
Karli Visconto: We are like off the sauce today. There's like a lag or something. ⁓ cracking up. They themselves don't even want to be on like the right.
Jessica DeRose: What?
Karli Visconto: No, I have the giggles.
Jessica DeRose: There wasn't even something that funny.
Karli Visconto: You're so delayed and you were just like your face. Yeah, that was I don't know why that just happened when your air pod fell out. Whatever. Hopefully we'll get back on track. I was saying when people are like going down like the traditional path and they're trying to convince you from straying from it, like I think most of the time they don't even they're not even happy themselves. It's almost like misery loves company. And it's like, well, why would I take advice from you? No offense, but like.
Jessica DeRose: ⁓ really? Yeah. Yeah. No, it, yeah. I think it's like taking advice from people that are doing the things that you want to do. So like your mom who's swimming in the school with all the fish, like that's like her advice is where you're going to end up.
Karli Visconto: I actually am gonna take the risk.
Jessica DeRose: Does that make sense? Like listening to the people that are smarter than you and that are doing the things that you want to do, you know? And it's often only the ones that are actually doing something on like off track that give you that advice. Like no one else will really tell you like go dream big and do all the things, you know?
Karli Visconto: Mm-hmm. Yes, I love. Yeah, yeah. And it comes down to like what people are comfortable with themselves. So advice is going to differ depending on like that person's personal risk tolerance or experience in life with their own like risk taking if it worked out well or not, maybe they have a jaded view. So like everybody in the current moment, they're shaped by all the moments that came before. And so their advice and their perspective is gonna differ. And so you might have not had that jaded experience that somebody in your life did. And so therefore you don't have to take.
Jessica DeRose: Yeah, true. Yeah.
Karli Visconto: their advice because maybe your outcome will be different. And so I think it's just like really powerful to like keep that perspective. And it's also funny, like, they always say you're at what are like a byproduct of like the five people that you surround yourself with, like you're an average of them. So like the company that you keep is like so important because they also have an influence on you and like how you think and how you move.
Jessica DeRose: Yeah. Yeah, so true. They do. And that's the only part of your life that you have control over that influences you, right? It's like the people that you choose to be around the most. Like that is just a straight up choice. So.
Karli Visconto: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Yeah. I also wanted to call out, because this has been really top of mind for my friend group, because literally everybody is pregnant. And we've talked a little bit about this before with like comparison culture and like timelines and milestones, but really like the notion of when all of your friends start maybe getting married or having children and you feeling like you're like missing the bandwagon or you're behind. And I know I have friends that are like kind of feeling a certain way right now. And it's just really hard when you do feel like something is quote unquote trending or you're feeling influenced to do something that you either aren't ready for or you are ready for, but just hasn't happened for you yet. And then you inherently feel like you're doing like something wrong or like missing the boat. Like I just feel like it's really hard.
Jessica DeRose: Yeah. Yeah. Mm-hmm. Yeah, and it's not even a product of like a trend. It's kind of just like things that are happening around you and it's just I think what makes you feel bad is just like thinking about it for yourself. Like it just because it's like so close to you, it just makes you think about that thing more often for yourself than it would if that wasn't happening around you. You know, like no one's trying to influence you or like, you know what I mean?
Karli Visconto: Mm-hmm. So yes, and that kind of goes back. Yeah.
Jessica DeRose: That's like very comparison poetry. Yeah.
Karli Visconto: Which I think goes back to what we just saying like if something is around you and you have like enough exposure to it it will eventually start growing on you like a song or like the shoes that you hate it but you've seen a thousand times and you look really like I'm actually getting flashbacks I used to work with somebody and she talked a certain way and like rolled her R's a certain way and I was around her all of the time because we had the really close working quarters and so I literally started to like emulate her speech like it was
Jessica DeRose: Mm-hmm. Yeah. I know. Yeah. Wait, you don't remember when I came home from Charleston and I had a Philly accent? I'm not kidding. Yeah, but that's funny. But like, that's so subconscious. Like, that goes back to our ancestors, I guess, right? It's just, oh my god, it's so crazy. Yeah. Yeah.
Karli Visconto: I forgot about that. Yeah. Yep. Yeah, I mean, I think it's just the power of like the brain and like what we take in. It happens on a subconscious level. It's not always like choosing the genes that you don't like because they're like trendy right now. Like sometimes it literally infiltrates your brain and you cannot decide what you truly like or what you're truly, you know, like deep down versus what you've been like conditioned.
Jessica DeRose: Yeah. Yeah. That's why it's so hard to differentiate. Like, do I actually like this or is it just trendy? You know? And I think, like, what's been really top of mind for me is obviously ⁓ my fashion. And I've been trying to be really ⁓ just, thoughtful about, like, what I'm choosing to buy, number one, and also choosing to wear. So, like, I...
Karli Visconto: Mm-hmm.
Jessica DeRose: I, lot of time, like this is frequent situation where I'll get dressed at home and I will love what I'm wearing because it just feels true to me and I like leave the house feeling so good about my outfit. And then I show up somewhere with a bunch of people and I compare myself to what everyone else is wearing and they are very trendy. They just look so chic and like cool. And I just like compare myself and I'm like, oh my God, I like feel like I'm dressed in 2010 and these girls, and I just feel like such an outsider. So I feel like, where did that start? What was the point of this? Oh yeah, so like, cause I'm just like, so I'm like, wait, what the hell? Like nothing changed. I still really loved my outfit, but so I'm trying to be more intentional about like, I like this outfit because I like it and I'm going to wear it because I like it and not necessarily like trying to fit in, you know.
Karli Visconto: that you're trying to be more intentional. Because I think I know where you're going with this. Yeah. Yeah, I think the most telling part about that, like hypothetical example or not so hypothetical was that you felt really cute and confident before leaving the house. And so I think that alone is super telling that without any of the other variables or any other factors and external influence, you felt good and you liked your outfit. And I think that's a great barometer. Would you choose it if no one else could see it? And you would.
Jessica DeRose: Yeah. Mm-hmm. Yeah. ⁓ yeah. Yeah. I know.
Karli Visconto: I think that's a little check that people can always do to like kind of come back because it is hard to distinguish like and I think even as you're like evolving as a person, you want to stay true to yourself and obviously you're going to change over time. But like how do you stay true to yourself and evolve as an individual should without being like overly influenced by external factors that like aren't true to you? Like I think it just comes down to like really tuning into what feels aligned and authentic to you.
Jessica DeRose: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, and that's a great callback to everything we've ever said on Only Human.
Karli Visconto: No, literally.
Jessica DeRose: Okay, my lab's op is at 5%. It is dwindling. So do you want to do our only human moment? Okay. It was fully charged. No, you know how it's like broken? Like it's not, it doesn't work. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. On the deck. Um, but it's probably best cause we could just yap for all day and I feel like 35 minutes is like perfect. Um, or am I so delayed? Yeah.
Karli Visconto: Yes, I thought you had a fully charged laptop when we started. ⁓ my gosh. Jess is on the porch right now or outside, so we gotta work with what we got. Okay. true. a little bit, go ahead, you go first.
Jessica DeRose: Okay, I can go first. Mine's like kind of silly, but today I was running errands and I like specifically went to the FedEx store to return something and didn't bring it. And then I proceeded to go to Costco to get like a couple things on my list. I ended up getting more than what I was supposed to get. And I got to the checkout, checked out everything right before I paid, realized I didn't get one of the things that I actually came there for. And it was just like a reminder that I'm just like literally onto the next thing before I even get done the first thing. And I just like need to slow the hell down and not just like the epitome of my life. Like, I don't know. It's very annoying.
Karli Visconto: Your video is in slow motion and it's so dramatic right now. It's so funny. You look like you're in like a sad movie and you just like lost somebody close to you. Okay. So my only human, I will, always I'll keep this quick, but I really will. I'm just like feeling very anxious about the weekend ahead. Obviously we have our only human ⁓ Pilates event on Saturday and then Sunday. I, or sorry, no, that's on Sunday. See, I am all confused and turned around.
Jessica DeRose: ⁓ my god. my gosh. Yeah, yeah, Sunday.
Karli Visconto: I have a birthday party Saturday, which my sister also gets home from Florence on Saturday. I'm barely going to see her. And then I go to the only human event. You're not going to that, right? You're working. So doing that and then driving right to the airport to go to Dallas for a work conference for a couple of days. And then I come back and like the day I come back, we have like the strikeout, the stigma for the Phillies and like the conference I'm going to has nothing to do with the project that I'm on, which is like full steam ahead. So
Jessica DeRose: Mm-mm. Mmm.
Karli Visconto: I just feel extremely overwhelmed and I'm just living in the present and just being really anxious about what's to come instead of just being where my feet are. And I think that's just like causing a swirl. Like I haven't slept well. I've woken up at 430 in the morning, like every morning. So it is what it is. This too shall pass, but I'm a, I'm a ball of angst.
Jessica DeRose: Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. No, that is literally, I can feel that. I just like try to remind myself that I'm getting anxiety over the things that haven't even happened yet. And like objectively, it's just kind of ridiculous. Like why am going to ruin my today when this stuff is not even to be worried about yet or to be gone through yet? Like it's just quite silly. So I definitely feel you there and I hope you start to feel better and can decompress tonight and tomorrow. Yeah.
Karli Visconto: Mm-hmm. Yeah. Thanks, appreciate it. Well, have fun at dinner. I know we're on bar time with your laptop, so have a good night.
Jessica DeRose: Thanks. ⁓ my god, literally. Alright, bye. Thanks for listening. You're like saying goodbye to me, not the audience. Alright, bye.
Karli Visconto: See you next week! ⁓ Bye.
Jessica DeRose: Alright, I gotta run up and put this on the charger before it completely dies. Alright. Bye.
Karli Visconto: Okay. Yeah. Okay. Bye.
