Cbs Radio Workshop - "Space Merchants Part 1" (1957)

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Mitchell Courtney, a copywriter for the powerful Fowler-Shokken advertising organization,
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is assigned to sell the colonization of Venus. CBS Radio
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Workshop brings us the first half of Space Merchants Part 1,
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Episode 55, originally broadcast February 17, 1957. Charles Monroe adapted
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the program for radio from the novel by Frederick Pohl
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and C.M. Kornbluth, with Stotz Cotsworth as Courtney and Virginia
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Kaye as Kathy. Paul Roberts directed and produced this CBS
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presentation set on a future Earth where advertising interests hold
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enormous power.
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And now, our story begins.
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The CBS radio workshop dedicated to man's imagination, the theater
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of the mind. Today, the space merchants. Frederick Poles and C.M.
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Kornbluth's modern classic about the future when the wizards of
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high-pressure salesmanship take over. It's the story of Mitchell Courtney,
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a copysmith, star class with Fowler Shock and Associates, the
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biggest and greatest advertising firm of the future, and a
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tale of a rocket ride to Venus.
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¶ ¶.
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As I rubbed depilatory soap on my face and waited
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for my beard to melt away, I switched on the
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news over the bathroom mirror. A funny little man whom
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I finally recognized as the president had given another speech
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last night. It was a shot of the Venus rocket
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squatting silvery on the Arizona sands. A report of rioting
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in Panama, the Kansi underground probably. Then the phone rang.
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Hello.
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Chief, you're due at the office.
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Can't you see I'm dressing?
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Oof, why that tie?
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Never mind.
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Why are you phoning me? Mr.
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Shockins called a board meeting a half an hour early.
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He's going to name the head of the Venus Project today,
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so hurry.
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Uh, Hester, do me a favor. Will you call my wife, Dr. Nevin?
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Make an appointment at noon for Walter J. Silver.
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For who?
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Walter J.
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Silver.
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Are you crazy? Well, she won't talk to me, Hester.
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Use the fake name. Maybe I can get in.
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All right.
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Now get down here fast.
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Down on Fifth Avenue, there wasn't a pedicab in sight.
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For a moment, I thought I had a Cadillac with
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two men peddling it, but somebody else got it. I
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did the best I could. I hopped aboard the rolling
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northbound sidewalk and found myself hemmed in by a milling,
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perspiring group of consumers. I got off at Shockin' Towers
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and rode the express elevator to our offices on the
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182nd floor. By sheer luck, I'd just taken my seat
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with my fellow board members when Fowler Shockin' walked in.
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Gentlemen, good morning.
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Good morning, Mr.
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Shockin'. Now, sit down, sit down. I'm going to stand
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for a moment. I've just come back on the moon rocket,
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as you know.
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I want to stretch my legs. How is our project
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on the moon, Mr.
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Shotkin?
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Gentlemen, I'm proud and I'm humble when I say it's successful.
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The mining ventures are bringing the people here on Earth
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many of the metals our forefathers exhausted long ago. The
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colonists seem quite untouched by the Kansi revolutionists. Only six
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instances of Kansi sabotage in the past week. Thank you.
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Now I'd like to hear some reports on our other projects.
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Industrial anthropology....
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Well, I wish to report that according to the Midnight Indices,
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all primary schools east of the Mississippi are being fed
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our Fowler Shockin' Packaged School Lunches, Soy Burger, and Regenerated Steak. Now,
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these lunches are being packaged in our Starzalius Red, which
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means that in the future, these young consumers will be
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completely conditioned to buying everything packaged in our special color,
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Starzalius Red.
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They'll have no choice.
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Magnificent, magnificent.
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Now, let's hear from Point of Sale.
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Well, Mr.
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Shocken, sir, we have tested our latest beverage, Coffeeist, in
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15 key cities. Each sample of Coffeeist contains three milligrams
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of a simple alkaloid. Nothing harmful, but definitely habit-forming. After
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ten weeks, the customer is hooked for life. A cure
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will cost $ 1, 000, so it's easier to buy more Coffeeist.
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Three cups with every meal and a hot jug beside
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the bed at night.
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You know, gentlemen, on my trip back from the moon,
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I began to wonder, are we getting soft?
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No, sir, Mr. Shockin.
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Thank you, Matt. But I wonder, were we doing enough
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for our consumers? Those consumers sleeping out there on the stairways.
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I know how lucky they are being able to buy
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the wonderful goods we make, package and sell them. Seaweed suits,
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soya burger, regenerated steak, coffees, straw butt cigarettes... But I
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still wondered, were we in the upper classes of advertising
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getting soft? But now I've decided Fowler Shock and Associates
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is not soft. That it's ready to meet a challenge
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greater than our organizing India into one giant cartel. Greater
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than our development of the moon. The greatest challenge the
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world of advertising and promotion has ever met. The colonizing
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of Venus.
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The shock and sense of the dramatic was never better.
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A touch of a button on the conference table before him,
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the lights were dimmed. Another touch of a button, and
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one wall of the room became a giant projection screen.
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We are looking at it again. The Venus rocket. But
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this time we knew that one of us would be
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named to head the Venus project.
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There she stands, gentlemen, the Venus rocket, a thousand-foot monster,
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surrounded now by steel scaffolding and a glow with welding torches.
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And here's how you'll see her six months from now,
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just before the takeoff. Just before the takeoff, there's the
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ship that Congress gave us, Fowler Shock and Associates. There's
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the ship that will span.
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The stars, six and a half million tons of trapped lightning.
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And steel, a rocket-powered Mayflower for 1,800 pioneers seeking a new.
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World to settle. Who will man it?
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Gentlemen, it's our job, A, to justify my buying enough
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congressmen to vote us that rocket. B, to sell 1,800
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crazy consumers on giving up life on the Earth for
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the sulfur and nitrogen and canned life on Venus.
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Yes, sir, Mr.
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Sharkin.
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Yes, sir.
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I've made my choice of the man to head up
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our Venus rocket project. His name is Mitchell Courtney.
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Congratulations, Madge.
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Thanks, Matt.
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Terrific break for a young and experienced guy.
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Yes, I'm flattered.
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Fowler seemed to be sure he knew what he was doing.
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He seemed to be sure.
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Drop into my office any time you need advice.
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Thanks. I'll keep my back to the wall.
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Good luck with Venus Project, Mitch.
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As far as I'm concerned, you can't sell people on
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life in a sardine can, even if you throw in
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a slave girl as a premium.
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This way, Mr. Silver.
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Dr.
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Nevins will see you now.
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Dr.
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Nevins?
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Mitch.
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Mitch, how did you get in?
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I used another name. I had to see you, Kathy.
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After all, you're my wife.
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I am not your wife.
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My certificate's on fire.
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Mine isn't. It never will be. As soon as this
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year is up, we're through.
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Ah, wait. I've got some news.
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Well?
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What is it?
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I've been put in charge of the Venus Project at
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the agency.
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Congratulations.
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Oh, Kathy, I love you. I'm not above using this
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promotion as an excuse to celebrate. Won't you go out
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on the town with me tonight?
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No.
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Well, I promised not to make a scene. You're the
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only one I want to celebrate with.
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All right, Mitch. My apartment at seven. And now let
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me take care of the sick people.
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Outside Kathy's office, I hailed a two-man Cadillac pedicab and
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told them to step on it to shock in Towers.
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I took the express elevator to the top of the towers.
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I ran across the heliport to Shockin's private helicopter. I
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had a very important date out of New York's newest
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airport at Montauk. I was due to meet the Earth's
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number one celebrity, Jack O'Shea, the first and only man
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who would ever set a rocket down on Venus and return.
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As I landed, his jet was just coming in. And
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as I jumped to the ground, his jet moved up
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the runway toward me, and the place was crawling with women.
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I'd forgotten what a swath Jack had cut with the
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women on his cross-country lecture tours. In fact, I'd almost
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forgotten until his Pinkerton cards cleared away through the vast crowds.
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I'd almost forgotten that Jack was a midget. Welcome to
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New York, Jack. Hello, Mitch. I hear you're number one
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boy now. Well, I still work for Fowler Shark and Jack,
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but the Venus Rocket Project is mine.
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You're a fool to take it.
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Oh, you're joking.
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Am I? All right, fellas. Mr.
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Courtney's from Fowler's Shock, and you can check off now.
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Yes, sir, Mr. O'Shea.
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Crummy guards. I never get a free moment.
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Well, that's the penalty for being a celebrity. This way, Jack.
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Our helicopter's over here.
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Hey.
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Hey, look out, Mitch.
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That cargo ship.
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Darn fool. Pilots.
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Run, Mitch. Run.
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Run.
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Hey, Mitch. Mitch, you all right? Yes, I'm okay.
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Thanks.
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Thanks a lot.
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Mitch, that was no accident. That pilot had orders to
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get one of us. And I think it was you.
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The End I had to start pumping Jack O'Shea about Venus.
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Shocken was paying him a fat retaining fee as a consultant.
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Jack didn't seem to want to talk, however. I showed
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him projections, maps, drawings, charts. But he barely said a
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word worth recording on tape. Suddenly an idea hit me.
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I made a phone call.
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Oh, Kathy. Kathy, do you know that this is the
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first time I've laughed, really laughed, since I came back
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to Earth?
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Is it, Jack? I'm complimented.
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And that this is the first time I've been alone
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with two people since I came back?
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I thought you'd had enough of being alone in that
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rocket on Venus.
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It must have been a shattering experience, Jack.
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Kathy.
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Kathy.
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You're the first person who seems to have understood that.
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Not exciting. Not thrilling.
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It was frightening.
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Shattering, as you said. It wasn't at all like what
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I've told the women's clubs, the reporters. That's been a
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pack of lies. The atmosphere, for instance. It's really formaldehyde.
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Embalming fluid. Who'd understand that except the dead? And the heat,
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who'd understand that? Who's lived in heat above the boiling
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point of water? If there was any water on Venus,
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which there isn't.
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Why did you go, Jack?
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That's easy. You're a doctor. You know about midgets. We
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eat one-third the food, drink one-third the liquids, inhale and
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exhale one-third the air full-size humans require. They'd never have
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gotten that test rocket to Venus if I hadn't been
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the size I am, if I hadn't been a child
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who's been laughed at, who'd turned test pilot to prove myself. Ha!
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I was so small they could pack me into that
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test rocket with all the equipment necessary to sustain me.
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83 days. It takes a lot of equipment to sustain
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even a midget.
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Six of those days were on Venus. What was it like, Jack?
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I think the closest thing on Earth is the Painted Desert.
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The wind blows hard.
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It tears rocks apart. Soft rocks disappear and make dust storms.
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The light is funny. Nobody ever saw a light like
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that on Earth. Orangey, brownish light. Very, very bright, but threatening.
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And there's no water on Venus. No vegetation. No living thing.
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In the quiet of Kathy's apartment, Jack O'Shea talked for
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another hour. Then suddenly, with hardly a word of goodbye,
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he stood up and walked out. Thanks, Kathy. Thanks for
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changing plans and letting me bring him.
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Don't mention it, Mitch. Do you think you got it
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all on your little tape recorder?
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You knew I had one in my pocket.
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I was sure you would have. And I hope you
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play it back to yourself over and over and over.
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Oh, Kathy.
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Yes, over and over and over. Until even you were
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convinced how hopeless your Venus Project is.
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Hopeless? Oh, our science boys have answers to all those objections.
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Mitch.
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Mitch, doesn't that mind of yours ever stop selling somebody something?
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Do you have to be a contriving, selfish Machiavelli who
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serves Fowler, Schocken.
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And never people?
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People?
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You mean consumers.
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Mitch, must you always be top dog, making money, money,
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money without scruples, without ethics? What was that?
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A gunshot.
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Jack's out there.
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I'll go and see.
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Oh, he's all right.
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Those are his steps.
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Mitch, Mitch, I was standing talking with a doorman and
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someone shot him in cold blood. Someone thought that doorman
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was you. Oh.
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Well, Mitch, trouble with the Venus project already?
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Personal trouble, Mr. Shocken.
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Personal trouble?
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Yes.
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Yesterday afternoon, a cargo helicopter tried to drop its full
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load on me, and last night, somebody tried to shoot me.
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I've had a couple of head-on collisions with Matt Runstead.
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Are you accusing a Shocken man?
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That's treason.
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Killing an agency employee is an offense against the United
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States government. Any idea who's behind this?
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No.
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It might be the Conceys, of course.
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Well, conservationists hate us. They try to sabotage everything we
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want to do, but Crazy, mixed up, unorganized. They want
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to go back to the old days when we had
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natural wood, natural water, all that sort of claptrap. Forget them.
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Well, it could be another advertising agency.
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It could be. But look, Mitch, I made you copysmith,
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star class, because I thought you could live up to
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your responsibilities. Now, you're young, but you have power. Five
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words from you, and a few months later, half a
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billion consumers will find their lives completely changed.
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That's power.
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Absolute power. So you must remember, power has its compensations.
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And it's hazards. That's all.
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With this encouragement, I continued work on the Venus Project
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for the next six weeks. I even talked Kathy into
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giving up her patience for 48 hours and taking a
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flying trip with me to Arizona. I wanted to get
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the feel of the giant rocket itself as it was
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being built.
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Your credentials, please. Army intelligence, check. Navy intelligence, check. Air
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Force intelligence, check. FBI, check.
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AEC, check. CIA, check. 4As, check.
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I hope you two are all right.
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This way, please. Kathy and I followed the security officer...
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into the vast steel shell of the Venus rocket.
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Well, 157 feet high.
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More cupids than the average New York apartment building.
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He took us into the dormitories for the 1,800 pilgrims
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I had to sell on the idea of going to Venus.
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Low-cycle food, water, and air regeneration. One-third living space, one-third drive,
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one-third freight.
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It was an inferno and a promise of paradise. A
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monument to 22nd century engineering and an incomparable monument to
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the future. to the sheer artistry of the machine.
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Mitch, do you always have to talk like a coppysmith?
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Well, I noticed you were impressed too, Kathy.
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Well, it draws me. And repels me. I can't explain it.
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It excites me. Kathy, how would you like to go
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on to San Diego with me?
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Whatever for?
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Well, Matt Runstead's boys in our San Diego office have
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been gathering test figures on our sample colonizing campaigns. Very helpful.
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No, I can't come, Mitch. I'd love to, but my
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patients back in New York need me.
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Oh.
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Well, then I'll get you aboard the return jet and
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see you in New York in 48 hours. I didn't
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tell them I was coming to San Diego. I walked
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in on our entire San Diego staff playing push-button poker.
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What's the meaning of this? Who are you, mister? Mitchell Courtney.
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It's Courtney from New York, fellas.
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What are the reports on the Venus sampling, Harris?
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There aren't any, sir.
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Tally sheets, punch card codes, sigma progress charts? Nothing on
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the attitudes of consumers toward life on Venus? Well, nothing, sir.
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Nothing.
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You've made up everything you've given me so far. Well,
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I'm afraid so, sir. Well, get New York on the line.
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I want Matt Runstead. Well, he's not there. Well, where
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is he? Well, he called this morning.
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He's taken off for Little America to look after our
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interests there.
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And left you holding the bag, huh? Find out when
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the next jet leaves for Little America. Little America is
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a dollar trap for the tourists of the world, conceived
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and promoted by Fowler Shocking. A clerk at our hotel
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told me Runstead had checked in for a two-day tour
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of the Stars Alias Glacier They already had started out
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on the trail. I rented the glacier equipment, Antarctic coveralls, hood, gloves, boots,
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and power pack to warm them. On my back, I
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had an EDF that went beep, beep when I was
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on the trail, and beep, beep when I lost my
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way in the snow. I set out after Runstead, beeping
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and still mad. I stopped after a while. and cooked
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a meal in my electric pocket. It wasn't bad. Well,
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very bad. I had some coffee to pep me up,
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and then I set out again. My feet hit a drift,
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and I stumbled. The wind was blowing stronger now. The
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snow flurries were more frequent. I must have gone on
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another hour. How far in distance, I don't know. Then
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up ahead, I saw the figure of a man.
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Matt!
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Matt!
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Matt Brunstedt!
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Mitch!
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Mitch Courtney! Matt, I've been following you!
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Mitch!
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What do you want with me, Mitch?
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I want to know what happened in the San Diego office!
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What are you up to, Matt? A sudden blast of
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wind hurled snow into my face, and then, as it cleared,
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I saw Matt raising his skis high above his head.
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I saw them coming down toward me as he poleaxed me.
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The CBS Radio Workshop has brought you part one of
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The Space.
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Merchants, adapted for radio by Charles Monroe.
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With original music composed and conducted by Samuel Matlowski, produced
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and directed in New York by Paul Roberts. Stotz Cotsworth
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starred as Mitch Courtney, Virginia Kaye as Kathy. Others in
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today's cast were Bob Dryden, Ed Prentiss, Mary Patton, Bob Reddick,
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Joe Julian, Ralph Bell, Ian Martin, and Joe Helgeson. The
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sound effects were devised by Tom Buchanan and Tom Perkins,
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the engineer Jack Katz. This is Ted Pearson inviting you
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to join us next week for the second part of
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the CBS Radio Workshop production of The Space Merchants. America
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listens most to the CBS radio network.
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This was CBS Radio Workshop with Part 1 of Space
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Merchants Part 1. Good evening and thank you for joining us.
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Follow Old Time Sci-Fi Radio for more classic science fiction broadcasts.