Work, Love, and Code Blue: Dating in Healthcare

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Welcome to Nursing Lyfe 101, the most important nursing class you never got to take in nursing school.
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We will be traversing different objectives, like interviewing, what to do in nursing school, boundaries, burnout and so much more.
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If this interests you, I hope you are taking good notes because class to Nursing Lyfe 101.
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We're so excited to have you here with us as we dive into the world of nursing, sharing our experiences, insights and a little bit of fun along the way.
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I'm Christopher and I couldn't be happier to introduce my co-host.
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Hey guys, it's Colby.
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Together, we'll be bringing you real stories, practical tips and discussions about all things nursing, Whether you're a fellow nurse or just curious about the life behind the scrubs, we're thrilled to have you join us.
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You know we really missed the ball here.
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We could have did this episode in February.
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For Valentine's Day.
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For Valentine's Day.
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Oh well,
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Dang
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Is there some romantic thing in June?
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Oh, the strawberry moon,
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nothing like summer love,
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oh the strawberry moon,
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oh.
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Summer loving.
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Had me a blast.
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Well, and with that being said, today we're talking about romantic relationships within the organization, which sounds like we're talking about the mob.
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Well, sometimes it could feel that way.
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Sometimes it depends.
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So we'll start with, like various units and we'll kind of branch out like little segments
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okay,
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and then we'll branch out.
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I'm going to let you guide the ship on this one and see where we're taking it, how you picture.
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Well, okay, so we'll first start with within your own unit.
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Dating within your own unit.
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Dating within your own unit.
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Do you recommend it?
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One, two, three.
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No, you were supposed to say no too.
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I mean, the thing is, though I've seen it work.
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And we've seen it not work.
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I know, I know.
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And usually it's the not working, that is the.
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What is it prevalent?
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Yeah, what you see most often happen
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yeah, yeah, yeah
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Is that it doesn't.
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And then there's like an implode.
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I mean I dated someone in our unit and well, in the unit it was before I was an assistant nurse manager I have to clarify that and it ended up not working out.
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And this person was a CNA too.
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And we referenced this person was a cna too.
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Um, and we referenced this person during our cna episode where I was like they were doing all the things for me but would slightly not do as much for other people, yeah and so you know I benefited from it greatly.
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But
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until you didn't.
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Well, the thing is that person left before it imploded.
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Oh yeah, yeah, I kind of forgot that timeline.
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Well, that worked out.
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Yeah, it did, which I was grateful because the way that it ended.
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It would have been horrible if they Were still working on the unit Were still working on the unit but I mean I've also seen a charge nurse date a pct or cna.
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You guys kind of you internally date on your unit.
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I think a lot of you do that
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whoa, I think that is a gross assumption.
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I think it was only those two cases, well, I guess.
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Yeah, I was gonna say I can't think of too many on mine, but now, now we're talking about it, yeah, I've seen two rns be co-workers for years, then start dating, then get married and then left the unit together.
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But okay, okay, what I'm trying to say is like when you are dating a co-worker and you work on the same unit and you're also friends with people in the same unit, like it's sometimes the the issue in your with dating someone in the same unit as you might not like that might not be the issue.
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It might be the friends that you're working with that have like an issue with it, like you know.
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Do you know what I'm saying?
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Yeah, yeah, yeah, and it is definitely
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there's like a weird dynamic,
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yeah, yeah.
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Because, well, it depends on how vocal you are about your relationship, too, right?
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I would say my advice is to keep.
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If you're dating someone, keep that close to your heart, keep it close to your heart, don't speak on it, don't act like you know each other.
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No, not really, but I mean I would just keep it so, so professional at work, because the second someone decides that they they know about the relationship that's going on between you and this other person and if they don't like it, you're the topic of conversation, there are rumors, there is shit talking.
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Right, you become a very big target.
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The target is on your back and it is big.
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Good or bad.
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I mean, people could be really excited that you two are dating.
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It could be that, like in my case, where they notice the PCT is doing a lot and then they are on your case because why are you getting preferential treatment?
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Oh it's because you're dating.
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Oh, that's a problem.
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Yep.
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And I mean it is a problem, and I am not one to my manager is actually very, very good at allowing it to happen.
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There's nothing in terms of
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there's not like a no-fretinization rule.
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There is no rule but.
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But there's like a professionalism that you need to maintain.
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of course
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You've got to maintain it, and if you can't do that, then you might as well forget about dating someone within the same unit, possibly within the hospital, the hospital, yeah, unit possibly within the hospital.
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Okay, here's a question, and I don't know is this hospital policy at our healthcare system that, if you like, you also can't be in an overarching position of like so-?
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I don't think that's a true thing
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On the same shift, though, like I know like can you be in charge and your romantic relationship partner be underneath you on the floor?
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Well, I mean, I don't know if that's a legit policy on the.
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So that's another thing you should take into consideration.
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When you do start having romantic feelings about a co-worker, especially someone that you work with in the same unit, not just in the hospital.
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Maybe you need to be aware of what the healthcare system that you worked for policy is on that, because there are some places that don't allow fraternization within the workplace and there might be some rules, policies, regulations about that.
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You might just have to be like up front with your manager.
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You might just have to be like hey, we've got to have a meeting.
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We just need to tell you like we've, we are now dating and like that's super personal like to have to like do that, but if you're going, to date someone in your working space and like that's what you have to do.
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As long as you are able to have the feelings and keep everything kind of casual at work, by all means go ahead.
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But what if you like?
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Okay, you start dating within the unit.
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Things are going great.
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So you started a CNA or you started dating a CNA.
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That CNA has gone through school.
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Y'all are doing pretty well.
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You then have the CNA going through nursing classes, passes the NCLEX and then starts working as a nurse.
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Is that different?
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Like what do you?
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Do?
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You think there's any type of like weird changes there?
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I, I can't think of anything specific.
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I feel like it really just depends on the people.
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I think so too.
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I.
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I don't.
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I mean I that that was the.
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That was the other couple that was on the unit that I know of.
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Oh, no, there was one more.
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I was going to say I don't know who you're talking about, but I was thinking of somebody different.
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Oh, interesting.
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Yeah, see, you guys are incestual.
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No, I don't.
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Hey, we're a tribe.
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That was a joke we are a tribe.
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No, not the tribe.
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Does it dating?
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Dating someone is a little bit different than being married to someone, so you can be a nurse and be married to a nurse.
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And y'all came from two different you know places.
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Right Right there there is a international nurse who is who has come down and they're a nurse and they're working here.
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But they also have a spouse.
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That's also a nurse and I was just talking with them briefly.
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They were saying that their hope is to bring their spouse down.
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Yeah.
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And that if there was a position open, they would want to have them work together, work together, yeah.
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So like there's various or you could have gone in together in the same unit, you know Mm-hmm, but I think Okay.
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So what popped into my head when you said that is isn't it funny how there's kind of a double standard where it's like for me, my viewpoint or personal opinion on this is like working with a couple that's married versus working with a couple that started dating when they started working on the unit are like two different situations.
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Married couples and I don't know my brain, just like I mean I've worked with both where, like it doesn't bother me regardless, but I feel like it's just way more acceptable.
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I don't even know why I'm using that word.
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That's probably not the word I'm looking for, but like it's on, it's less bothersome to most people.
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I'm not.
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I'm not even I'm making a generalization across staff, but, like from what I've observed, co-workers are more bothered by dating dating than they are by a co-worker that's married by co-workers that are married which is weird have.
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You've observed that as well.
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Yeah, it's weird, I don't know, I don't know what it is, I just.
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But you're right, they very much are OK with
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people that are married.
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Yeah, and.
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But the thing is like, even when people are dating and then they become married, it's like oh OK, there you go.
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Yeah, and then like a switch flips and they're like OK.
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Right, it's like what?
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Why is that?
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I don't know.
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That's so weird, but it's so true.
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That is a pattern I've observed again and again.
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It's so weird, it makes no sense.
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I mean I
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and it makes sense right, like how how health care workers end up dating each other, because we talked about this in the Friends episode, where it's like it's sometimes so hard to make new connections with people outside of health care because they just don't get what we've been through or what we're going through at work.
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So then, like you are with someone at work and they're going through the same hardships that you're going through the same traumas and we spend all of our time with these people, and then things become romantic and then they're dating and you're like, yeah, that makes sense.
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How they ended up that way, sure?
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yeah, and I mean because that's what you, a good relationship has.
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They're like pillars, they do things together, they like the same things.
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And then there are those offshoots that give you the respite from your spouse Like you need to get away and you get to be able to do that, sometimes even on shift, right, like sometimes you're just way too busy to deal with your spouse's issues.
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Yeah, and you have those handful of patients and you're trying to keep those patients alive while they're doing the same thing, and that kind of like also builds that bond because, like, was this really something that I should have been arguing about you?
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Really it puts perspective into what your, your relationship is I feel like.
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Yeah, I think there's definitely something to that.
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I think also, while we're talking, do okay.
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Here's another question do you think same unit versus different unit, marriages and dating which one do you think is easier?
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well, I honestly think that it's easier to date on different units, but easier to be married on the same oh interesting and so the reason why on different units, when you're dating, you're trying to fill out that person, trying to understand, and that allows you to.
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There's a reason why most people choose a unit.
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They have some type of like feeling toward cardiac, toward transplant, towards ortho.
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You know they have that kind of desire and then it allows you to kind of plan your days a little bit better because you don't have to worry about oh, there's now two of us having to take off the same day.
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It's just one off on different units For marriage.
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Those days that you don't work together are the days you're like, oh yay, I get the day to myself, but this is coming from someone who?
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No, that's such a good point.
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I wasn't thinking that.
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This is coming from someone who likes their time, right.
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Yeah, you know, staffing wise, there's two of you and you're married.
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Then you both have to take off a vacation.
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You know like that makes it difficult, but in the everyday day-to-day things I think it's just better to be married on the same unit.
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No, I think I totally see what you're saying.
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I wouldn't have even thought about that with the scheduling thing.
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I was just thinking for both situations, whether it's dating or marriage, that a different unit would make it easier for a multitude of reasons.
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You don't have like the pressure of your coworkers watching every step you make in that relationship, whether you're having like a good day or a bad day they're talking about it, whatever what have you?
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But like also, like when you live together, you work together, you have the same co-workers, the same, everything.
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Like when your life is too much of the same.
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I could see that like causing undue stress on your relationship as well, whereas like if you work if you work in the same hospital but in different units or departments or whatever like you're still sharing enough but, also having enough differences that it's not like you're just one person, like completely consumed.
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Okay, I mean, I see that too.
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I mean it is interesting, I don't know.
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I would like to hear.
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I might even try to throw a poll out on social media.
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Yeah, let's get your opinions, guys.
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What is your stance on?
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What do you think would be easier?
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What would you interpret that as?
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And this is impossible for some people, because some people really just you know, they just work and they go home, so maybe that's your dating pool, but my personal stance is that you should not,
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that was a personal attack on me.
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No,
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that was a personal.
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You didn't look at me but every word went straight toward me
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If the shoe fits.
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No,
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I'm kidding, I'm kidding, I'm kidding.
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No, but I personally think that you should not date in the same environment system that you work in.
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Yeah, that's interesting.
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Okay, but I'm learning that things happen sometimes.
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I will say in my going on 11 years now working in healthcare, up until recently I've never dated anybody that's worked in the hospital in any form or fashion.
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Not another nurse, not a doctor, not a maintenance man, nothing up until recently
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why is that though?
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I just I don't know.
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Well, I think, as far as like nursing,
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you have to know something
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as far as like nursing or like anybody as far as like people like directly that I'm working with all the time, I don't really find the classic male nurse attractive, like the majority of male nurses all have like the same kind of like.
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They carry themselves a certain way.
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Do you know what I'm saying?
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Not saying all of them.
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I'm saying the majority,
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I am not one of them, but
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you're not, you're not Right.
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But most and everybody who knows anything about health care is probably nodding their head or like laughing and being like, yeah, no, we get it.
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I'm just, I'm not attracted to that person, like I'm just like, get away from me, friends with them.
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Sure, they're hilarious, but they are not dateable to me.
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They're usually very toxic womanizer kind of type.
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Think that you know they pick this career because it's all it's mostly women and they have like a little bit of a god complex they really think that they're like doing god's work and you're like I'm doing the same job as you, but for some reason they think that they're like doing it better or like I don't know.
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But I can't stand it.
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No, I can't stand it Again, like I'm friends with these guys, I think they're funny, but I just don't think that I could ever be in a relationship, romantic relationship, with a guy that works in health care.
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I love how you just narrowed it down to nurses, though, like there are no doctors there.
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Well, I feel like my my relationship with the doctors that I work with.
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I'm usually bossing them around, so they're not interested in me.
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Let's be honest, they're like not the bossy one, we'll go to the next one
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but, but hospitals are so big.
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So, like I, I'm just so amazed that and good for you that for 11 years you have avoided.
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Avoided that because that is a big pool of people.
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It is especially when we live when we live and work in a town where, like that is the majority, like a huge majority of the reason why people live and work where we live and work is because of our health system.
00:19:48.602 --> 00:19:51.047
So it does narrow my dating pool.
00:19:51.047 --> 00:19:57.787
Very small, very small, little pond for the people who don't live and work here for our health system.
00:19:57.807 --> 00:20:04.903
At least within like a 30 minute radius of the hospital, hospital yeah once you go out, I think you're okay
00:20:05.002 --> 00:20:06.247
well, that's why I've only dated
00:20:06.728 --> 00:20:07.229
also true
00:20:07.369 --> 00:20:09.461
medium distance relationships.
00:20:09.501 --> 00:20:11.045
Yeah, like two hours away
00:20:11.045 --> 00:20:12.708
that's medium
00:20:13.269 --> 00:20:17.643
mediums like two yeah hour and a half medium.
00:20:17.643 --> 00:20:18.846
Do you think that's long?
00:20:19.026 --> 00:20:24.839
yeah, I think really and truly anything after an hour and 45.
00:20:25.141 --> 00:20:29.188
I'm like well, I called it medium distance.
00:20:29.188 --> 00:20:31.330
People date across the country and
00:20:31.912 --> 00:20:32.313
people do
00:20:32.794 --> 00:20:33.520
that's long distance
00:20:33.560 --> 00:20:35.006
that's, that's desert
00:20:35.026 --> 00:20:37.314
that's long haul, that's long haul trucking that's.
00:20:37.314 --> 00:20:42.089
I gotta be able to drive to your house and back in the same day.
00:20:42.259 --> 00:20:47.143
We have a friend in our friend group who, literally, they are across the country
00:20:47.182 --> 00:20:47.967
yeah, that's legit.
00:20:48.319 --> 00:20:49.262
I don't know how they do it.
00:20:50.728 --> 00:20:51.190
Me either.
00:20:51.190 --> 00:20:55.886
Two hours is my max, but it's also my sweet spot.
00:20:55.886 --> 00:21:01.884
And neither of those people worked in health care.
00:21:04.671 --> 00:21:04.852
Stop.
00:21:07.681 --> 00:21:14.233
The current person I'm seeing doesn't work in health care, but they do work at the health hospital.
00:21:15.421 --> 00:21:16.282
In the health system,
00:21:16.423 --> 00:21:17.506
in the health system.
00:21:19.731 --> 00:21:19.912
Yep.
00:21:30.660 --> 00:21:32.163
Got to be careful, though though that's another thing I will say.
00:21:32.163 --> 00:21:34.407
People who work at a health system, and they're dating in the health system.
00:21:34.407 --> 00:21:46.483
You have to realize that you might not be the first or only person that they've dated in the health system as well, and you have to like be open to accepting that
00:21:47.807 --> 00:21:48.047
yeah
00:21:48.667 --> 00:21:49.769
because that's just like.
00:21:49.769 --> 00:21:51.092
That just is what it is like.
00:21:51.092 --> 00:22:00.423
There there are people, like I said, that prefer to just date co-workers instead of using a dating app and all of a sudden,
00:22:00.924 --> 00:22:01.246
once again.
00:22:01.266 --> 00:22:01.968
I I feel like that was a target.
00:22:01.968 --> 00:22:03.861
That was not a target.
00:22:04.402 --> 00:22:05.423
Just kill me now.
00:22:08.087 --> 00:22:12.055
It was not a target, but that is I mean and that makes sense.
00:22:12.055 --> 00:22:13.422
That's like real world dating, it's.
00:22:13.422 --> 00:22:21.973
You know, dating apps are, are virtual, whatever that they are.
00:22:21.973 --> 00:22:25.760
So there's nothing wrong with real, real taking it old school.
00:22:25.760 --> 00:22:31.781
But I will say, like you are running the risk of dating someone, that somebody else that you work with also dated
00:22:32.102 --> 00:22:33.163
yeah, it's true
00:22:33.503 --> 00:22:36.007
yeah, as evidenced by
00:22:36.007 --> 00:22:37.709
I mean both of us,
00:22:44.119 --> 00:22:45.321
yep.
00:22:45.402 --> 00:22:54.334
But you know you had said that your aunt is dating someone within the health system.
00:23:02.019 --> 00:23:15.583
Yeah, they were in the same office, but when they started dating which is also a very hard relationship to like manage, especially when like so like they they were in a medical office, not even in the hospital oh, they started, so it's a smaller smaller pool, smaller amount of co-workers to pass judgment.
00:23:15.583 --> 00:23:18.950
Yeah, very complicated, huh.
00:23:18.950 --> 00:23:23.278
But I mean they've been together for more than seven years
00:23:23.338 --> 00:23:24.520
oh wow, yeah, so they've been.
00:23:25.261 --> 00:23:26.644
Do you know anything about that story?
00:23:27.786 --> 00:23:29.588
um, a little bit.
00:23:29.588 --> 00:23:39.113
They um so it was my aunt's she's gonna be listening to this me like, just talk about my relationship my aunt's boss, who?
00:23:39.113 --> 00:23:47.071
He's a doctor and she was a nurse and they were just friends for a long time and then he convinced her to go watch a football game together.
00:23:47.071 --> 00:23:49.575
Yeah, and that was like their first date.
00:23:52.920 --> 00:23:55.962
They just got along really well.
00:23:56.182 --> 00:23:58.664
Have I told you my list of what I think dates are?
00:23:59.445 --> 00:23:59.685
No,
00:23:59.705 --> 00:24:00.326
okay.
00:24:00.326 --> 00:24:01.468
Movies are not a date.
00:24:01.468 --> 00:24:02.628
Don't take me out on one.
00:24:02.628 --> 00:24:04.451
I don't want to go there.
00:24:04.451 --> 00:24:06.192
You can't talk to anyone.
00:24:06.192 --> 00:24:07.753
Yeah, you can't.
00:24:08.253 --> 00:24:10.355
Not a first date, no yeah.
00:24:10.435 --> 00:24:11.036
The first date.
00:24:11.036 --> 00:24:11.957
I'm talking about first dates.
00:24:11.957 --> 00:24:14.446
Okay, restaurants, don't dare.
00:24:14.768 --> 00:24:15.048
Really.
00:24:16.762 --> 00:24:21.813
Yeah, you're supposed to be getting to know someone, so you're shoving food in your mouth as you're trying to answer questions.
00:24:21.833 --> 00:24:22.954
You're having a conversation.
00:24:23.035 --> 00:24:23.375
No,
00:24:23.395 --> 00:24:26.767
okay, I'm not going to change your mind on that one.
00:24:26.767 --> 00:24:28.667
You're very steadfast, okay.
00:24:29.520 --> 00:24:33.911
A date which we've talked before driving in a car.
00:24:34.551 --> 00:24:34.873
Oh yeah.
00:24:35.059 --> 00:24:42.961
It'll never happen because of the world that we live in and crazy people out there Not a first date,
00:24:42.961 --> 00:24:45.712
but I could see that being like a third date, like you've gone out twice with this person.
00:24:45.814 --> 00:24:47.038
You're like you trust them.
00:24:47.138 --> 00:24:48.785
Yeah, you want to get to know them a little bit better.
00:24:48.785 --> 00:24:50.601
And then you're like you know what, let's just go for a drive.
00:24:51.142 --> 00:24:53.027
That's a good, like third date yeah
00:24:53.386 --> 00:24:56.012
and it's good you're able to talk about things.
00:24:56.012 --> 00:24:59.940
You get to see how they react with your driving.
00:25:06.247 --> 00:25:08.589
Are they a passenger princess or are you the passenger princess, Like you got to figure that out.
00:25:08.609 --> 00:25:08.950
Are y'all both?
00:25:08.970 --> 00:25:09.411
drivers.
00:25:09.411 --> 00:25:11.512
Is that going to make and break the relationship?
00:25:11.553 --> 00:25:12.473
Is someone a backseat?
00:25:12.694 --> 00:25:14.016
or a passenger seat driver.
00:25:16.085 --> 00:25:18.432
Don't dare, I'll tell you to sit down.
00:25:19.500 --> 00:25:20.782
Sit down and shut up.
00:25:21.984 --> 00:25:22.646
Another good date.
00:25:22.666 --> 00:25:25.010
You're like date's like dates over get out,
00:25:25.372 --> 00:25:26.053
find a way home.
00:25:26.233 --> 00:25:27.742
I'll even uber you home
00:25:28.223 --> 00:25:30.328
drop you off, never speak to you again
00:25:31.490 --> 00:25:37.229
another date idea is what you were talking about go into a sporting event
00:25:37.249 --> 00:25:37.991
yeah, you can see.
00:25:38.133 --> 00:25:43.730
Oh, my god, actually I love that, especially for a first date, because one you're gonna find out if this person is a psychopath
00:25:43.770 --> 00:25:44.051
Right
00:25:44.839 --> 00:25:47.750
Like are they getting belligerently drunk?
00:25:47.750 --> 00:25:51.228
Are they picking fights with other people in the crowd or at the bar?
00:25:51.228 --> 00:25:54.646
Or you know wherever you're watching the game, or are they just like super passionate?
00:25:54.646 --> 00:25:55.826
They know so much about the sport?
00:25:55.826 --> 00:25:57.826
You guys can have a good conversation about it.
00:25:57.826 --> 00:26:00.849
You can judge the other person about how much they know right or you can like.
00:26:01.490 --> 00:26:14.808
It's kind of cute when some people find it cute when, like the other person who knows a lot about the sport is kind of like telling you, like what that, like what that play is or like this is what they were thinking during that, during that, like that coach call, whatever.
00:26:14.828 --> 00:26:27.789
I kind of like when even when I know more about it than the person I'm on a date with I like when they explain it to me because I'm like either I'm like that's cute, you're wrong, or I'm like that's so cute you think I don't know.
00:26:27.789 --> 00:26:31.946
Watch what I'm about to say back, or I'm actually learning something.
00:26:31.946 --> 00:26:33.261
So
00:26:33.301 --> 00:26:36.409
give them the history of the game.
00:26:37.833 --> 00:26:39.761
Yeah, and then their jaws on the floor.
00:26:39.863 --> 00:26:45.451
Yeah, I love when a guy like asked me a question about like I don't know, like a play like in baseball.
00:26:45.451 --> 00:26:47.474
Like you're 64", 3'0", equaling 2.
00:26:47.474 --> 00:26:50.166
Oh yeah, I'm like yeah, that's a double play Right.
00:26:50.227 --> 00:26:51.230
Like duh.
00:26:51.230 --> 00:26:54.404
Who is this idiot putting 6-4- 3 as 2 Outs?
00:26:57.931 --> 00:26:59.012
Yes, I love that.
00:26:59.374 --> 00:27:00.015
I love that shirt.
00:27:06.662 --> 00:27:06.781
Me too.
00:27:06.781 --> 00:27:08.625
And it's funny because then the guys are never expecting you to a female.
00:27:08.625 --> 00:27:17.005
I will say this is a generalization but, I will say in my personal experience is a guy is never expecting a female to know something like that.
00:27:17.005 --> 00:27:20.710
Yeah, I will even argue to say that I've been.
00:27:20.710 --> 00:27:22.732
This is a real life experience.
00:27:22.732 --> 00:27:27.465
A man asked me if I knew all nine positions in baseball
00:27:27.606 --> 00:27:29.210
oh my god, I cannot believe that.
00:27:30.031 --> 00:27:30.452
Oh my god,
00:27:30.492 --> 00:27:32.041
I was like I feel like a kindergartner
00:27:32.082 --> 00:27:32.824
I am so sorry
00:27:32.844 --> 00:27:43.020
to do that, but apparently people don't know and that's embarrassing for them that don't know because this is like america's past time.
00:27:43.020 --> 00:27:44.747
Everyone should know the ninth position.
00:27:45.008 --> 00:27:46.011
I mean, who's on first?
00:27:46.534 --> 00:27:46.855
yeah,
00:27:47.376 --> 00:27:48.058
what's on second.
00:27:48.058 --> 00:27:50.523
I don't know who's on third,
00:27:50.923 --> 00:27:53.127
there's a catcher, a pitcher
00:27:53.528 --> 00:27:54.390
today and tomorrow
00:27:54.390 --> 00:27:54.390
?
00:27:54.390 --> 00:27:58.762
Left, right center, shortstop, like I don't.
00:27:58.762 --> 00:27:59.565
It's very basic.
00:27:59.565 --> 00:28:00.126
What do you mean?
00:28:00.126 --> 00:28:03.343
But apparently people don't know.
00:28:03.343 --> 00:28:08.565
So I'm like very impressive, I'm a very impressive person to take to a baseball game.
00:28:09.728 --> 00:28:10.250
Oh gosh.
00:28:10.250 --> 00:28:14.411
But I mean, I'm trying to think of a sport that you would.
00:28:15.443 --> 00:28:17.521
I don't know anything about basketball, I'll be honest
00:28:17.521 --> 00:28:18.506
or lacrosse.
00:28:18.946 --> 00:28:19.630
Yeah, very little.
00:28:21.270 --> 00:28:24.368
So there are sports that you, yeah, not feel that way yeah, no.
00:28:24.390 --> 00:28:28.624
If someone starts to explain basketball to me, I'm like, okay, thanks, I didn't know that I'm gonna tuck that away.
00:28:28.845 --> 00:28:33.727
Then I'm like I don't care I don't tuck it away, I let it quickly empty my brain
00:28:34.570 --> 00:28:39.506
you're like don't like this sport, don't care about what you're telling me, this is a terrible day.
00:28:39.566 --> 00:28:40.788
We should not have gone there
00:28:41.711 --> 00:28:44.782
and I don't like you first and last
00:28:46.105 --> 00:28:57.646
but yeah, those are like my four, like I don't want to be bombarded, if you want, I'm even really not a fan of going to a bar to drink and for a date.
00:28:57.747 --> 00:29:14.584
I'm like yeah, I think knowing your stance on like alcohol, not that you don't drink right but just that it's not something that you have like centered in your life, like for social, like socializing.
00:29:14.584 --> 00:29:18.999
Yeah, yeah, I could see, like I think of what's more popular these days.
00:29:18.999 --> 00:29:20.644
People are doing a lot of coffee dates.
00:29:22.188 --> 00:29:22.950
Yeah, I could do that.
00:29:23.371 --> 00:29:24.701
Yeah, get a coffee,
00:29:24.721 --> 00:29:25.964
I'm not a coffee fan either, but
00:29:26.226 --> 00:29:26.989
you could get a chai.
00:29:27.119 --> 00:29:28.585
Yeah, I could get a chai tea.
00:29:28.585 --> 00:29:30.450
I just said that I was going to say that.
00:29:32.400 --> 00:29:38.367
But yeah, like I think people these days are doing more of like midday coffee dates
00:29:38.387 --> 00:29:42.594
Right or anytime it's not like mid, you know, it's not a night thing.
00:29:42.614 --> 00:29:45.257
You know what I love Going for a walk together.
00:29:45.517 --> 00:29:49.042
Oh yeah, I went on a date, yeah, I was like hiking could be a little strenuous.
00:29:49.084 --> 00:29:50.867
It needs to be an easy trail for your first date?
00:29:51.108 --> 00:29:58.864
No, it doesn't, Because then I'm like I won't go on very many dates.
00:29:59.044 --> 00:30:01.145
I was judging how much endurance you have.
00:30:01.625 --> 00:30:05.848
I am Because, ultimately, I want both of us to be healthy.
00:30:05.848 --> 00:30:08.971
And I want us to challenge each other to stay healthy.
00:30:08.990 --> 00:30:09.131
Yeah.
00:30:09.391 --> 00:30:12.413
So I'm not going to go easy on a hike.
00:30:12.673 --> 00:30:12.953
Yeah.
00:30:13.354 --> 00:30:14.795
Because that means either one.
00:30:14.795 --> 00:30:16.155
You don't want to be challenged.
00:30:16.776 --> 00:30:19.478
Okay, yes, I just had another thought.
00:30:19.478 --> 00:30:43.821
I'm going to let you finish yours.
00:30:43.821 --> 00:30:44.063
No, no, no, no.
00:30:44.063 --> 00:30:50.648
Go ahead for marriage, or are you dating just to like meet somebody and have a good time, and that's something you really need to think about before you start dating a co-worker and you need to establish that that needs to be an early on conversation.
00:30:50.789 --> 00:31:06.792
So everyone needs to be on the same page, because if you're dating, if you're dating for marriage and that person's dating to just date people, both are fine situations, but that's going to end in a tragedy, yeah, for everybody involved.
00:31:06.792 --> 00:31:17.221
Yeah, not just the people dating, but the co-workers, your management the patients, the patients yeah, yeah so that's what I was just thinking like for you with.
00:31:17.221 --> 00:31:22.932
Like the dates that you're talking about sound like great dates, but it sounds like dating with more intention.
00:31:23.354 --> 00:31:25.679
True, but I mean which?
00:31:25.739 --> 00:31:26.240
is nothing wrong.
00:31:26.319 --> 00:31:27.583
Everyone should be healthy.
00:31:27.583 --> 00:31:29.248
No, no, no, no, that's true.
00:31:29.608 --> 00:31:30.951
No, no, no, I totally agree with you.
00:31:30.951 --> 00:31:34.429
I'm just thinking of, like, right now, the way I'm dating.
00:31:34.429 --> 00:31:41.652
I'm not dating for serious, I'm dating just to like meet people, experiences, but nothing long term.
00:31:41.652 --> 00:31:52.553
So, like I have been going out on dates and I see things that I'm like red flag, red flag.
00:31:52.553 --> 00:32:02.539
But then also I'm like, but I don't care, because this is not gonna, this is not a long-term person, so I'm just gonna let them ride, let them be them and I'll be me and we'll keep it moving.
00:32:02.539 --> 00:32:17.606
But if I was, if I saw those things and I was like trying to date with an intention, I would be like, okay, it's one date for me and I'm moving on to the next because this isn't gonna be this, this can, this cannot go any further.
00:32:17.606 --> 00:32:19.067
These are big red flags.
00:32:19.067 --> 00:32:19.509
Right.
00:32:22.451 --> 00:32:24.273
But I, yeah, I don't know.
00:32:25.875 --> 00:32:34.114
I don't, yeah, I mean so okay, Obviously you're okay with me saying movies are a terrible first date.
00:32:34.114 --> 00:32:38.086
You're not okay with me saying going to eat.
00:32:39.249 --> 00:32:43.357
I see, I see your point point, but I don't think it's a terrible first date.
00:32:43.357 --> 00:32:44.642
I do see your point I.
00:32:44.642 --> 00:32:49.522
I think there are so many periods when you're at a restaurant where there's room for conversation.
00:32:49.522 --> 00:32:54.682
I think they just end up being like you're if you're going out on a dinner date, it's going to be a longer.
00:32:54.682 --> 00:33:02.922
It's probably going to be a longer date than just going out to dinner with a friend because you're taking more breaks in between bites.
00:33:03.182 --> 00:33:03.522
You're
00:33:04.244 --> 00:33:04.565
are you?
00:33:05.748 --> 00:33:06.931
I don't know, actually I don't know.
00:33:06.931 --> 00:33:11.451
As I was saying that, I was like it's probably not true because me and christopher gab, we're yappers.
00:33:11.451 --> 00:33:14.340
We probably have the longest dinners.
00:33:14.340 --> 00:33:18.728
It's true because we just be yapping next thing.
00:33:18.748 --> 00:33:21.071
You know we're like, oh, but there's also closing
00:33:22.074 --> 00:33:22.894
oh shoot, we gotta leave.
00:33:23.602 --> 00:33:24.865
But also we're.
00:33:24.865 --> 00:33:32.869
We're such close friends, though, that we we shoving food in our mouths and talking at the same time, so I don't know, that's probably not very becoming on a date
00:33:32.990 --> 00:33:33.880
you literally have seen
00:33:33.920 --> 00:34:00.630
me oh yeah, body, some food, like mouth full chewing, and be like I'm just talking, you're like an active listener and I'm just yapping because I'm enjoying my food and listening, which is great okay, so it's a toss-up.
00:34:00.630 --> 00:34:04.314
I think dinner dates as a first date could be good.
00:34:04.575 --> 00:34:10.945
Might not be your best option okay, um, and what was your thoughts on?
00:34:10.945 --> 00:34:11.264
Um?
00:34:11.264 --> 00:34:13.907
Oh oh wait, before on a date.
00:34:13.907 --> 00:34:24.556
In in the, the restaurant area, do you like it when your or your food is ordered for you?
00:34:26.242 --> 00:34:27.565
oh, that's a good question.
00:34:27.565 --> 00:34:38.525
It depends, it's the vibe of the person oh it's what depends on what they order, because if they try to order something, I'm like no, actually, I'm sorry, I can't eat.
00:34:38.525 --> 00:34:44.407
I'm not a picky eater either, so, but I have to speak up but I actually find it.
00:34:44.688 --> 00:34:46.393
It's like a I don't know.
00:34:46.393 --> 00:34:47.476
I go back and forth on this.
00:34:47.476 --> 00:35:03.679
It depends on the person, because there's certain people that if they tried to order for me I'd be like gtfo like, but then somebody else does it and I'm like that, that was, that was hot, that was OK, take charge, romantic, I can't wait, ok.
00:35:03.679 --> 00:35:10.713
But then there's sometimes where I was like excuse me, don't you excuse.
00:35:10.713 --> 00:35:11.393
What do you feel?
00:35:11.393 --> 00:35:15.382
I mean I would you like to order for someone?
00:35:15.382 --> 00:35:22.909
If I'm, if you're taking me to a restaurant that you've been to before and you're like this is so good, you have to try this, that you've been to before and you're like this is so good, you have to try this.
00:35:22.929 --> 00:35:40.487
Then the waiter comes and they're like we're gonna get this, this, and this like order, like three, yeah things, yeah and then like, yeah, I think that's totally fine I feel like I am one to do that, because I do like to eat a lot of different areas, but I tend I'm also I'm just so analytical, so I'm like judging you for what you order.
00:35:41.905 --> 00:35:43.893
I'm just so analytical.
00:35:43.893 --> 00:35:47.943
So I'm like judging you for what you order, and he's vegan on top of it.
00:35:47.963 --> 00:35:49.565
No, that doesn't mean that I'm judging them.
00:35:49.565 --> 00:35:52.809
If they get meat, I'm just out of OK.
00:35:52.809 --> 00:35:58.454
If you're going to a seafood place and you get a burger, I've automatically judged you.
00:35:58.615 --> 00:35:59.295
That's fair.
00:35:59.295 --> 00:36:02.442
Yeah, why did we go to a seafood place?
00:36:02.442 --> 00:36:03.907
I could have said I don't.
00:36:03.907 --> 00:36:06.297
I don't like seafood chilies, like you know.
00:36:06.376 --> 00:36:12.855
Like I was okay with that yeah but you know like no, no, stuff like that oh,
00:36:12.914 --> 00:36:16.422
I get it, that makes sense I would probably pass some judgment as well,
00:36:17.003 --> 00:36:17.704
like excuse
00:36:17.925 --> 00:36:28.742
I mean that's an extreme, but like I'm just I'm looking to see what they order and because then I'm like, oh, do they prefer if we go to an italian restaurant and they prefer spaghetti over lasagna?
00:36:28.742 --> 00:36:31.393
Like is there a preference there or is you know?
00:36:31.414 --> 00:36:41.070
like it's a good learning yeah a good learning date, but
00:36:41.670 --> 00:36:43.592
also it's very interesting.
00:36:43.632 --> 00:36:47.322
It's probably because I I don't date a lot I think about these things
00:36:48.907 --> 00:36:56.469
I'm like I've never had this deep of a conversation about whether or not going to a restaurant on the first date, but now I'm rethinking everything I've ever done,
00:36:56.489 --> 00:37:00.268
you know that's my intention is to make people rethink about what they're doing.
00:37:00.849 --> 00:37:02.152
I'm rethinking everything.
00:37:02.152 --> 00:37:04.568
I'm never going to a restaurant on a first date.
00:37:04.568 --> 00:37:07.688
What has been the best first date you've ever been on?
00:37:07.688 --> 00:37:10.846
And was it with a coworker?
00:37:12.501 --> 00:37:13.786
Do you have an answer to this question?
00:37:14.099 --> 00:37:19.063
No, but I can give you an example of something that happened to me and at the end of the day I was like was that a date?
00:37:19.083 --> 00:37:21.867
Oh, okay, that happened to me and at the end of the day, I was like, was that a date?
00:37:21.867 --> 00:37:22.027
Oh okay.
00:37:22.027 --> 00:37:36.260
Well, I went and this is a very cute idea for anybody that needs a date idea in the spring summer.
00:37:36.260 --> 00:37:42.306
I a travel nurse that I worked with, we were friends and I was recently single and I think I just misinterpreted it and I wish I had recognized earlier on that it could have been a date, because he's a very nice person.
00:37:42.306 --> 00:37:43.445
This was like two years ago.
00:37:43.445 --> 00:37:50.351
We went to this farm where they have wildflowers that you can go and cut and make your own bouquets.
00:37:50.351 --> 00:37:52.385
That's cool, yeah, and it's on this farm.
00:37:52.385 --> 00:37:54.567
So then there was, of course, a little store.
00:37:54.626 --> 00:37:55.469
You walk through.
00:37:55.469 --> 00:37:58.630
We got ice cream after we picked our flowers.
00:38:01.699 --> 00:38:02.141
This is a great idea.
00:38:02.161 --> 00:38:02.543
Yes, like that was.
00:38:02.543 --> 00:38:05.480
And we just like talked and like we were being goofy with the flowers, like talking about, like, oh, this one looks like this, whatever.
00:38:05.480 --> 00:38:06.844
It was so cute.
00:38:06.844 --> 00:38:09.387
And then we made these little bouquets in the mason jars.
00:38:09.429 --> 00:38:09.809
That's cute.
00:38:10.099 --> 00:38:11.704
That's such a good first date.
00:38:11.764 --> 00:38:12.728
That is a good yeah.
00:38:12.969 --> 00:38:13.530
And we had great.
00:38:13.530 --> 00:38:27.900
We was like a good amount of time, it was like three hours, which I think should be like your max on the first date if you're taking it serious if you're dating with intention and not just for the good times.
00:38:28.121 --> 00:38:33.054
But, um, I but yeah, that was with a co-worker, I guess.
00:38:33.054 --> 00:38:36.784
Oh so, I guess that's really my first, but it was.
00:38:36.784 --> 00:38:39.210
I didn't know it was a date, maybe it wasn't.
00:38:39.210 --> 00:38:42.427
It could have just been two friends hanging out, but it also could have been easily.
00:38:42.427 --> 00:38:45.686
I mean, the ladies at the flower stand thought we were on a date.
00:38:45.686 --> 00:38:49.806
They even said it and we were like laughing, we're like ha, ha, no we're just friends,
00:38:49.826 --> 00:38:50.547
Wait, wait wait, wait, wait.
00:38:50.800 --> 00:38:54.923
We were laughing, or you laughed and he laughed after
00:38:54.943 --> 00:38:56.166
Might have been that way, I don't know.
00:38:56.186 --> 00:39:01.411
I mean because I pay attention to those things.
00:39:01.731 --> 00:39:06.056
At the end of the day he came and picked me up in his vehicle.
00:39:06.596 --> 00:39:06.956
Never mind.
00:39:09.387 --> 00:39:10.010
It was a date
00:39:12.454 --> 00:39:12.898
I had no idea.
00:39:12.898 --> 00:39:14.123
I thought I was just having a good.
00:39:14.123 --> 00:39:15.467
I wore a cute outfit too.
00:39:15.487 --> 00:39:15.989
It was a date.
00:39:15.989 --> 00:39:18.204
If y'all are looking at me,
00:39:19.141 --> 00:39:20.125
he's nodding his head.
00:39:20.425 --> 00:39:20.969
It was a date.
00:39:20.969 --> 00:39:24.201
It was a good date.
00:39:24.201 --> 00:39:24.842
It was a good date.
00:39:24.842 --> 00:39:25.304
I didn't know.
00:39:25.304 --> 00:39:26.186
I was on um, I had a great time.
00:39:26.186 --> 00:39:30.782
10 out of 10 would do again, but he left, so never see him again dang,
00:39:31.402 --> 00:39:32.523
you could have converted him
00:39:33.905 --> 00:39:41.972
probably could have to staff that's what he's talking about From traveler to staff.
00:39:42.193 --> 00:39:42.534
Yeah.
00:39:42.914 --> 00:39:43.755
He's a very sweet guy.
00:39:43.755 --> 00:39:48.025
Yeah, you know, at the time I wasn't in a good spot.
00:39:51.632 --> 00:39:52.012
Interesting.
00:39:52.012 --> 00:39:52.534
That's funny.
00:39:52.534 --> 00:39:56.291
I mean that definitely was a date, though One hundred percent.
00:39:58.485 --> 00:39:59.309
It was a great first date.
00:39:59.309 --> 00:40:02.371
Looking back on it, I'm like, oh, that was a date, okay, yeah, well, that was a great first date.
00:40:02.371 --> 00:40:03.539
Looking back on it, I'm like, oh, that was a date, okay, yeah.
00:40:03.539 --> 00:40:06.443
Well, that was a great first date and I think that one fits into your.
00:40:07.206 --> 00:40:07.869
Yeah, 100%.
00:40:08.050 --> 00:40:10.929
Yeah, your requirements.
00:40:11.960 --> 00:40:15.956
It's absolutely impossible to eat ice cream fast because you get a brain freeze.
00:40:15.976 --> 00:40:16.096
Yeah.
00:40:16.400 --> 00:40:24.574
So it allows for adequate time to slowly, gives you time to think about your answers.
00:40:24.574 --> 00:40:25.121
Yeah, no.
00:40:25.121 --> 00:40:26.467
I'm okay with an ice cream date.
00:40:28.041 --> 00:40:29.304
Oh, I love ice cream dates.
00:40:29.565 --> 00:40:30.449
I mean, you know me.
00:40:32.003 --> 00:40:33.166
Okay, what do you think about?
00:40:33.601 --> 00:40:35.269
Oh wait, I never told you the first date.
00:40:35.420 --> 00:40:36.585
Oh, yeah, tell me, you got it.
00:40:36.981 --> 00:40:41.311
I mean no, but I remember a date that I really did appreciate.
00:40:41.311 --> 00:40:48.548
We went to a local amusement park oh yeah okay, and it was really nice.
00:40:48.548 --> 00:40:51.481
We went to the amusement park and then there was a like
00:40:52.043 --> 00:40:53.425
I'm surprised, I guess
00:40:54.407 --> 00:40:54.686
why?
00:40:54.686 --> 00:40:57.112
Because we're standing in line.
00:40:57.311 --> 00:40:58.574
You have to talk to them
00:40:58.713 --> 00:41:01.108
you're right, you're right, I'm like you're right.
00:41:01.108 --> 00:41:03.972
There's a lot of like waiting downtime at an amusement park.
00:41:03.972 --> 00:41:09.934
Okay, I was thinking like you're running rides screaming at in a roller coaster right what's your favorite color?
00:41:13.405 --> 00:41:14.708
do they get annoyed easily?
00:41:14.708 --> 00:41:18.032
Yeah are they able to handle like roller coasters?
00:41:18.032 --> 00:41:20.242
Yeah are or are they like you?
00:41:20.402 --> 00:41:21.766
rather take the bag
00:41:21.887 --> 00:41:23.563
I'll hold everyone's bags and be the mom
00:41:23.603 --> 00:41:26.737
right, exactly, I'm like I don't want I want you to enjoy that.
00:41:26.757 --> 00:41:29.487
Yeah, you don't want to date someone who wants to hold the backpack.
00:41:29.827 --> 00:41:30.349
Fair enough
00:41:33.782 --> 00:41:37.005
do they get annoyed with the annoying children that are?
00:41:37.365 --> 00:41:38.947
running around screaming crying,
00:41:40.688 --> 00:41:41.088
you learn.
00:41:41.570 --> 00:41:42.911
This is what I'm just very
00:41:43.351 --> 00:41:43.550
Okay.
00:41:43.590 --> 00:41:44.371
This is me, though.
00:41:44.371 --> 00:41:49.396
This is me in a nutshell, like I'm just very analytical in what I do.
00:41:49.615 --> 00:41:55.054
That's true, okay, so someone that I am seeing right now had.
00:41:55.054 --> 00:41:56.260
We had a conversation.
00:41:56.260 --> 00:42:06.123
They do like extracurricular sports for fun as an adult, and they really wanted me to spend the entire day watching them play
00:42:06.123 --> 00:42:06.385
nope,
00:42:07.045 --> 00:42:07.847
that's what I said
00:42:08.027 --> 00:42:08.369
negative
00:42:08.469 --> 00:42:09.391
I was like um
00:42:09.632 --> 00:42:11.161
you're having me sit and watch you.
00:42:11.601 --> 00:42:12.043
Yeah,
00:42:12.182 --> 00:42:12.384
no
00:42:12.925 --> 00:42:13.365
all day
00:42:13.606 --> 00:42:13.827
no
00:42:13.827 --> 00:42:14.909
I said that.
00:42:14.969 --> 00:42:15.951
I said I really don't want
00:42:16.010 --> 00:42:16.632
audacity
00:42:17.213 --> 00:42:17.920
don't want to do that,
00:42:18.001 --> 00:42:19.023
I will gladly join you
00:42:19.864 --> 00:42:20.226
and play,
00:42:20.387 --> 00:42:20.728
and play
00:42:20.827 --> 00:42:22.050
okay, so, okay, not.
00:42:22.050 --> 00:42:23.141
So that's not a good.
00:42:23.141 --> 00:42:25.586
That was just like not a first date thing, obviously
00:42:25.626 --> 00:42:25.967
no yeah
00:42:26.288 --> 00:42:28.132
that's a terrible first date,
00:42:28.320 --> 00:42:28.481
yeah,
00:42:28.800 --> 00:42:33.490
but even like, even if you've been dating for a little bit of time, it's casual
00:42:34.231 --> 00:42:34.411
no
00:42:34.612 --> 00:42:37.344
yes, okay, I'm glad, I'm not imagining that,
00:42:37.364 --> 00:42:39.045
no, no, no, I'll watch one game.
00:42:39.887 --> 00:42:40.748
Yeah,
00:42:40.809 --> 00:42:41.650
I'll watch one game
00:42:42.231 --> 00:42:42.512
yeah,
00:42:42.632 --> 00:42:44.280
but don't expect me to stay the whole day
00:42:45.101 --> 00:42:47.286
thank you thank you
00:42:47.527 --> 00:42:47.666
no
00:42:48.148 --> 00:42:50.231
because I was like that's a long day
00:42:50.231 --> 00:42:50.231
.
00:42:50.231 --> 00:42:53.240
Yeah, it's almost like you're parading me as
00:42:54.882 --> 00:42:55.744
yeah, what am I like?
00:42:55.764 --> 00:43:04.034
Yeah, I'm yours, yeah yeah, and that that rubs me all kinds of wrong ways okay,
00:43:04.514 --> 00:43:09.346
but for a first date would you, for instance, go play pickleball with someone?
00:43:10.789 --> 00:43:11.570
I don't know if that's
00:43:11.630 --> 00:43:14.963
I would you would, because I want to see how challenged.
00:43:15.364 --> 00:43:17.206
I want to see how athletic you are
00:43:18.128 --> 00:43:20.291
can you, can we make D1 babies?
00:43:21.695 --> 00:43:25.501
Yes, that's essentially what I'm trying to find out.
00:43:25.501 --> 00:43:28.708
But also are you a sore loser or are you a sore winner?
00:43:28.708 --> 00:43:31.231
I'm a sore winner, I mean sore loser.
00:43:31.231 --> 00:43:31.572
Yeah, I am.
00:43:31.572 --> 00:43:34.543
Really.
00:43:35.226 --> 00:43:35.588
You're both,
00:43:36.900 --> 00:43:38.485
because I barely lose.
00:43:39.188 --> 00:43:46.067
Yeah, so that's a I don't know that I would want to do.
00:43:46.126 --> 00:43:48.835
do that that would give a little bit too much away about yourself for your first date?
00:43:48.855 --> 00:43:50.420
oh no, but you want them to handle that, because that's you
00:43:50.579 --> 00:43:51.782
yeah I'm not changing
00:43:54.708 --> 00:43:58.434
get on the bandwagon, baby, be able to handle me.
00:43:58.434 --> 00:44:02.070
If you want me at my best, you have to handle me at my worst.
00:44:07.047 --> 00:44:08.771
Yeah, okay, fair okay
00:44:09.512 --> 00:44:10.393
well, I mean, what about you?
00:44:12.503 --> 00:44:15.889
Uh well depends on the sport.
00:44:15.909 --> 00:44:16.030
Yeah
00:44:16.030 --> 00:44:17.474
, just say, maybe not pickle ball,
00:44:17.594 --> 00:44:22.932
but well, I'll tell you, I took someone skiing, got the ick.
00:44:22.932 --> 00:44:27.250
You can't be worse at it than me.
00:44:27.250 --> 00:44:32.289
You can be better than me, but you can't be worse at it than me, and I'm a good skier.
00:44:32.309 --> 00:44:33.880
so, basically, this person didn't know what they were doing,
00:44:33.940 --> 00:44:35.927
I was going to say I guess I would never be your friend.
00:44:35.927 --> 00:44:37.652
I'm glad I haven't gone skiing with you.
00:44:38.079 --> 00:44:43.061
No, friends are different, friends are different, friends are different.
00:44:43.061 --> 00:44:44.483
I'm talking about a you're dating someone.
00:44:44.483 --> 00:44:48.108
Okay, friends, whatever, I'll teach you the person you're dating.
00:44:49.630 --> 00:44:55.563
No, no, I don't think so immediate
00:44:56.605 --> 00:45:00.731
oh, my god, and I'm assuming they came off of.
00:45:00.731 --> 00:45:03.635
They came off like they knew what they were doing.
00:45:03.655 --> 00:45:04.295
Yeah, of course.
00:45:04.380 --> 00:45:06.106
Well, that's the problem, they were a liar.
00:45:09.525 --> 00:45:10.699
They were definitely embellishing.
00:45:11.000 --> 00:45:26.650
Well, I mean, it is interesting to just kind of think about the differences between dating and being married to those within your unit and then those within your health system, and I think both you have to be mindful of.
00:45:26.650 --> 00:45:35.012
Are they going to be blabbers and then tell your business to any and everyone they see, or are they going to be professional?
00:45:35.012 --> 00:45:40.007
And then I think, and that's, are they children or are they adults?
00:45:43.215 --> 00:45:43.414
Mm-hmm, yeah.
00:45:43.434 --> 00:45:43.856
Are they mature?
00:45:43.856 --> 00:45:44.478
Yeah, are they childs,
00:45:44.478 --> 00:45:45.380
because.
00:45:46.724 --> 00:45:51.514
I think it can be done as long as both of you are mature about the relationship.
00:45:51.514 --> 00:46:05.643
I think, ultimately, that's what you have to figure out in the process of dating someone if you're intending to marry them or if you're just dating, to just date the pool.
00:46:05.905 --> 00:46:09.722
Yeah, you just have to have open communication, which isn't any relationship.
00:46:09.722 --> 00:46:22.713
So it's good advice for whether you're dating a coworker or not, but I feel like you need if you're going to be dating, you need to know before you start dating what your intentions are.
00:46:22.713 --> 00:46:34.235
And especially when you're dating a coworker, whether it's directly on the unit or somewhere else in the health system, you need to communicate what your intentions are with them early on.
00:46:34.235 --> 00:46:49.070
So I feel like it's a little aggressive sometimes first date to be like what are your intentions, but don't wait four weeks and then be like, oh yeah, I'm just having a good time, because that could really crush somebody.
00:46:49.391 --> 00:46:49.552
Yeah.
00:46:50.119 --> 00:46:51.806
Do you think four weeks is enough time?
00:46:53.121 --> 00:46:54.025
To know what you're.
00:46:55.342 --> 00:47:00.969
I feel like if you're going to be dating, before you start dating anybody, you need to know what your intentions are going into it.
00:47:01.099 --> 00:47:03.085
Yeah, so why not say it in the first date?
00:47:03.586 --> 00:47:04.188
you can.
00:47:04.188 --> 00:47:07.021
I just feel like some people would get scared off by that
00:47:07.202 --> 00:47:08.664
why that's.
00:47:08.905 --> 00:47:13.994
I think that is a problem that people have in general.
00:47:14.034 --> 00:47:15.282
Like, I think that is a problem
00:47:15.503 --> 00:47:28.052
okay I do I see what you're saying honestly, because if that person, if it's on the first date and you're like I'm dating, like with the intent for long term and that scares them off, then that's not the person for you, right, okay, yeah, I get it.
00:47:28.052 --> 00:47:28.800
I get what you're saying.
00:47:28.840 --> 00:47:41.514
But also I mean for the inverse if I'm just dating to have fun, then you should be okay to know that I'm dating just to have fun.
00:47:41.534 --> 00:47:46.019
Yeah Well, that gives the other person the option to choose what they want to do, right.
00:47:46.019 --> 00:47:52.766
But then again that could still get tricky because someone might say, okay, I understand, I get that, I'm just going to have fun too.
00:47:52.766 --> 00:47:53.963
But then they.
00:47:53.963 --> 00:47:56.525
Get feelings, get deeper feelings.
00:47:56.545 --> 00:47:57.307
Yeah, hard feelings.
00:47:57.548 --> 00:48:00.628
Yeah, and that's a risk that you run.
00:48:02.900 --> 00:48:03.380
As long as you are Like.
00:48:03.380 --> 00:48:08.251
If you set that standard in the beginning, then that's not on you.
00:48:08.552 --> 00:48:15.478
Yeah, I really need to take my own advice, because I'm sitting here and I'm like oh shit, I don't think I've had this conversation yet.
00:48:15.800 --> 00:48:18.349
Well, it's hilarious, because what did you say?
00:48:18.349 --> 00:48:29.170
You said, and I don't know if I can quote it, but you said everybody should know their intentions before.
00:48:29.480 --> 00:48:30.786
Before you even go out and date.
00:48:32.164 --> 00:48:34.090
So why not express that already?
00:48:35.621 --> 00:48:37.768
Because people hate talking about it.
00:48:38.521 --> 00:48:39.385
That is a problem.
00:48:39.545 --> 00:48:44.889
You're right, I should not be giving out any dating advice right now.
00:48:45.920 --> 00:48:46.643
I mean, I shouldn't either.
00:48:46.643 --> 00:48:48.710
I'm not dating anyone, I'm not married.
00:48:58.286 --> 00:49:00.628
I'm just as single as Pringle.
00:49:00.628 --> 00:49:04.090
But you know, here I am Doctor filling it up,
00:49:04.990 --> 00:49:15.438
learning the hard way, and I can provide lots of education and knowledge that I've gained from learning the hard way with dating.
00:49:20.822 --> 00:49:21.746
Well, there we go.
00:49:22.280 --> 00:49:23.264
And so can you.
00:49:23.264 --> 00:49:24.306
So stop giggling,
00:49:24.327 --> 00:49:25.170
you know I can.
00:49:26.282 --> 00:49:27.244
I'm just you know.
00:49:27.244 --> 00:49:30.172
That's right, you're right, all right.
00:49:30.172 --> 00:49:33.851
It's time for what will be one of our favorite segments listener pulse.
00:49:33.851 --> 00:49:37.670
This is where we hear directly from you, our amazing listeners.
00:49:37.670 --> 00:49:47.612
This week, we asked a question or brought up a topic that matters to nurses everywhere, and we wanted to hear you and your thoughts, stories and experiences.
00:49:47.612 --> 00:49:54.449
Whether it's a funny shift story, a tough moment or advice you wish you'd known sooner, this is your space to share.
00:49:54.449 --> 00:50:06.588
Let's dive in to what our nursing community has to say and, continuing along the theme, what's your views of co-workers dating so?
00:50:07.188 --> 00:50:14.876
let's see what we got we have quite a few different uh responses oh exciting and um.
00:50:14.876 --> 00:50:15.601
Do you want to?
00:50:15.601 --> 00:50:17.670
Do you want to just go back and forth and read?
00:50:17.690 --> 00:50:18.072
them.
00:50:18.072 --> 00:50:21.744
Okay, all right, I'm gonna like share our thoughts on what they are sharing
00:50:21.884 --> 00:50:25.512
okay, cool, that's what we'll do then we're doing this on the fly.
00:50:26.161 --> 00:50:33.063
So our first listener is brie from raleigh, north Carolina, who is a step-down nurse for three years.
00:50:33.063 --> 00:50:40.186
They said honestly, as long as it doesn't affect the patient care or the vibe of the unit, I say go for it.
00:50:40.186 --> 00:50:42.335
I met my fiance on night shift.
00:50:42.335 --> 00:50:46.344
We kept it professional at work, but now we're planning a wedding.
00:50:46.344 --> 00:50:48.007
Just don't be messy.
00:50:49.688 --> 00:50:53.635
Okay, see, I feel like she did it right.
00:50:53.635 --> 00:50:55.407
She said we kept it professional.
00:50:55.407 --> 00:51:03.811
Now we're planning a wedding, so people know that we've been dating, probably at this point, and it worked out well for them and I think that's great, and I've seen that.
00:51:03.811 --> 00:51:07.530
I've seen that happen where people meet and they did it the right way.
00:51:07.530 --> 00:51:08.543
They kept it professional.
00:51:08.583 --> 00:51:32.322
For a long time no one knew that they were dating and then, you know, it had at the point, the point of which, when everyone started realizing that they had been dating, it was legitimately more than a year that's wild so then at that point everyone was just like it, like shifted into even though they're still not married, but like it shifted into that anyways, because they had already proven, basically they can handle it and not making people feel awkward or whatever
00:51:33.405 --> 00:51:34.467
that right, there is a good.
00:51:34.909 --> 00:51:40.911
I mean, that's, that's how you're supposed to date in uh yeah, if that's how you're supposed to date you're dating a co-worker.
00:51:41.271 --> 00:51:42.842
No one should even realize that you're dating.
00:51:42.842 --> 00:51:43.083
Nope.
00:51:43.083 --> 00:51:48.181
Okay, let's see what zach zach from san diego, he's a new grad rn he wrote.
00:51:48.181 --> 00:51:50.228
I feel like it gets complicated fast.
00:51:50.228 --> 00:51:55.632
I watched two nurses start dating on my unit and when they broke up, one of them transferred to another floor.
00:51:55.632 --> 00:52:00.492
It was awkward for weeks, so personally I wouldn't risk it unless it was really serious.
00:52:00.492 --> 00:52:04.327
Well, we've experienced that as well.
00:52:06.101 --> 00:52:11.172
Well, luckily, mine transferred completely out of the you, out of the health system.
00:52:11.172 --> 00:52:13.666
Yeah, before we broke up, though,
00:52:13.686 --> 00:52:15.670
but you also transferred to another
00:52:15.751 --> 00:52:19.083
oh yeah, that's actually true, yeah
00:52:19.143 --> 00:52:20.887
for a similar situation ship?
00:52:21.188 --> 00:52:25.034
yeah, yeah, the wonderful word situation ship
00:52:26.023 --> 00:52:30.014
I love that word just covers so many bases.
00:52:30.476 --> 00:52:40.043
But yeah, no, that definitely was and can be awkward it can be, yeah, and that's a tough choice to make too, like, and so that's something else you have to take.
00:52:40.043 --> 00:52:43.541
You have to keep that in the back of your head and take that in with you.
00:52:43.541 --> 00:52:52.393
When you start dating a co-worker and like no one wants to think about the negative stuff, like when you're freshly dating someone, you're in that little like love bubble, like that love bombing bubble.
00:52:52.393 --> 00:52:54.786
Love bombing is bad, but you know what I'm trying to say.
00:52:54.786 --> 00:53:03.402
I'm trying to say that's awful, yeah no, but you know, when you're in that like ooey gooey, like I really like this person, I just started seeing them like, oh, this is so exciting.
00:53:03.402 --> 00:53:03.802
Right.
00:53:05.204 --> 00:53:19.516
And you already probably do think about these things because you're analytical, but, like you have to also, in the back of your mind, be cognizant of what you're willing to risk, because if, for some reason, it went bad, are you willing to leave the unit?
00:53:19.516 --> 00:53:26.184
Is that something that you're going to have to do, or they may have to do?
00:53:27.226 --> 00:53:37.329
It's funny yeah, both of, because I've only had two that were in the actual health system, but both of them I had an exit plan.
00:53:37.351 --> 00:53:37.793
Yeah, of course you did
00:53:37.815 --> 00:53:38.420
Before I started,
00:53:38.420 --> 00:53:41.369
that's so funny, I don't.
00:53:44.681 --> 00:53:45.664
I got a hope and a prayer.
00:53:46.387 --> 00:53:46.648
I knew.
00:53:47.000 --> 00:53:48.085
That I'd never see them again.
00:53:48.480 --> 00:53:59.340
It's wild because I knew I already like I was like okay, I can easily go to transplant, because I I knew that I was already being kind of scouted, quote unquote.
00:53:59.340 --> 00:54:11.735
And then when they were, when I was on transplant, I was like this will be my time to move to another state yeah I already knew
00:54:12.576 --> 00:54:15.826
wow, that's so funny.
00:54:16.146 --> 00:54:22.846
Okay, but does that mean that maybe you're, maybe you were dating someone that you or like?
00:54:22.885 --> 00:54:23.327
no, I just
00:54:23.947 --> 00:54:25.311
it was just you being you
00:54:25.572 --> 00:54:35.829
even my manager says when in a position, you should always have an exit plan yeah it's just good, it's not saying you're gonna use it, but you just have one, just in case
00:54:36.391 --> 00:54:37.112
yeah, I mean you.
00:54:37.432 --> 00:54:44.543
You definitely like to play devil, like you have to play devil's advocate, especially when you're dating someone on the same direct unit.
00:54:44.543 --> 00:54:49.594
You have to like be smart, be smart out there, when and now.
00:54:49.594 --> 00:54:56.431
If you're dating outside of the unit or that person does something else in the hospital, you have a little more like you can.
00:54:56.431 --> 00:55:03.518
Yeah, you can end things and not see that person pretty easily yeah with how our schedules are with.
00:55:03.538 --> 00:55:05.342
You know just how busy you are at work.
00:55:05.342 --> 00:55:15.001
Like that's a lot easier to kind of go in with less of a backup exit plan, but if you're, you probably still have one
00:55:16.083 --> 00:55:20.989
ready, primed, done, um.
00:55:21.590 --> 00:55:27.983
Next we have michelle, who is in boston and an icu nurse co-worker.
00:55:27.983 --> 00:55:31.971
Dating is fine, but please no flirting.
00:55:31.971 --> 00:55:41.766
During report I had a charge nurse and a night nurse practically making heart eyes at each other while I was trying to give SBAR Save it for after hours.
00:55:41.766 --> 00:55:43.972
I hope y'all know what SBAR is.
00:55:44.873 --> 00:55:49.023
Yeah oh, situation background assessment recommendation.
00:55:49.023 --> 00:55:51.891
That's handoff report baby, yes, yeah.
00:55:51.891 --> 00:55:57.389
I'm really happy I pulled that out, because I was like shoot, what is that?
00:55:57.389 --> 00:56:00.125
I know what it is.
00:56:00.500 --> 00:56:01.663
I asked y'all because I didn't know.
00:56:01.663 --> 00:56:02.443
No, I'm joking.
00:56:02.505 --> 00:56:03.867
I'm joking, I'm joking, I'm joking.
00:56:05.271 --> 00:56:05.891
Oh my gosh.
00:56:05.891 --> 00:56:07.864
No, though, totally fair.
00:56:07.864 --> 00:56:16.096
I have worked with people who are totally googly-eyed for each other and I just wanted to slap them both upside the head and be like do your job.
00:56:17.320 --> 00:56:19.166
Well, I hate PDA in the first place.
00:56:19.226 --> 00:56:23.268
Hate it, but especially not in the place of work.
00:56:23.369 --> 00:56:26.489
Right, I'm okay with the occasional hand-holding
00:56:28.405 --> 00:56:28.686
At work.
00:56:29.141 --> 00:56:30.125
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
00:56:30.581 --> 00:56:35.266
Oh, you're talking, you're generalizing, but definitely not at work.
00:56:35.306 --> 00:56:36.150
No, definitely not at work.
00:56:36.150 --> 00:56:37.525
Like, this is not the place.
00:56:37.525 --> 00:56:38.208
This is work.
00:56:38.460 --> 00:56:42.010
Yeah, no, I don't no, leave me alone.
00:56:42.010 --> 00:56:43.503
Right, don't even look at me.
00:56:43.503 --> 00:56:47.112
No, at work, don't look at me.
00:56:48.061 --> 00:56:48.762
I cannot.
00:56:48.762 --> 00:56:50.806
That's not completely true.
00:56:53.010 --> 00:56:53.391
Just kidding.
00:56:53.391 --> 00:56:53.932
You can look at me.
00:56:56.541 --> 00:56:58.088
Tell me how good I look today.
00:57:02.001 --> 00:57:04.248
But do it quietly around the corners and no one else can see.
00:57:05.521 --> 00:57:06.244
Slide a note in.
00:57:07.001 --> 00:57:07.643
Slide me a note.
00:57:07.643 --> 00:57:14.684
That's actually cute In the fifth grade, check yes or no, no.
00:57:14.684 --> 00:57:14.965
But
00:57:16.762 --> 00:57:18.547
I cannot believe we just did that.
00:57:21.521 --> 00:57:24.744
All right, moving on to the next one, jordan from Memphis.
00:57:24.744 --> 00:57:25.708
They're a travel nurse.
00:57:25.708 --> 00:57:29.070
Dating coworkers isn't new, oh sorry.
00:57:29.070 --> 00:57:32.485
We're around each other more than our own families, but y'all better have boundaries.
00:57:32.485 --> 00:57:34.851
I've seen breakups turn into schedule wars.
00:57:34.851 --> 00:57:41.110
Hr was not amused be grown about it or leave it alone, okay.
00:57:41.110 --> 00:57:48.226
But also I would love to say, like as a travel nurse if you're a little bit toxic, date away, just do it,
00:57:48.507 --> 00:57:49.548
oh my god,
00:57:49.789 --> 00:57:50.951
just do it,
00:57:51.030 --> 00:57:52.012
oh my god
00:57:52.532 --> 00:57:53.454
that's so fun
00:57:54.094 --> 00:57:55.036
no, colby
00:57:56.804 --> 00:57:57.706
I'm a little bit toxic.
00:57:57.726 --> 00:57:58.628
That is awful.
00:58:00.431 --> 00:58:01.373
I'm a little bit toxic.
00:58:01.936 --> 00:58:05.844
I've never don't expect to don't expect a job at my unit.
00:58:05.844 --> 00:58:07.429
If you dare come in like that
00:58:07.469 --> 00:58:08.030
it's three months.
00:58:08.050 --> 00:58:08.269
Honey.
00:58:08.269 --> 00:58:09.253
What are you gonna do?
00:58:09.253 --> 00:58:10.244
Cancel my contract.
00:58:10.244 --> 00:58:11.367
I'm moving on to the next one.
00:58:11.380 --> 00:58:12.003
We've done it before.
00:58:12.184 --> 00:58:12.666
For dating.
00:58:13.079 --> 00:58:13.521
I don't know.
00:58:13.702 --> 00:58:14.847
Yeah, exactly, Come on.
00:58:14.847 --> 00:58:26.423
If they're a really good nurse but they're just dating all of your staff, but they're doing their job effectively and their patients love them, you might not re-sign them.
00:58:26.423 --> 00:58:29.088
Guess you're right, you can't cancel someone for being a player.
00:58:29.088 --> 00:58:35.675
Not yet at least when I was traveling, I was in a serious long-term relationship.
00:58:35.675 --> 00:58:47.425
You were, but if I wasn't, I'd be dating, because it's no strings Three months and you're out.
00:58:47.425 --> 00:58:49.485
Might as well have fun with it.
00:58:52.139 --> 00:58:54.867
So I do have a completely different view on it if you're a travel nurse yeah,
00:58:54.867 --> 00:58:56.070
see, I've never been a travel nurse
00:58:56.190 --> 00:59:03.664
but if you are dating, but if you can be a travel nurse and date intentionally and maybe you're looking for a place to settle down, that's something different.
00:59:03.664 --> 00:59:10.942
But my personal opinion is like, like I said, don't date anybody that you work with, which I still stand.
00:59:10.942 --> 00:59:13.704
I don't think I would ever date anybody that I work directly with.
00:59:13.704 --> 00:59:19.188
I'm seeing somebody who works in the health system, but I don't work directly with them, so that's different for me.
00:59:19.188 --> 00:59:23.853
But if I was a travel nurse, date whoever.
00:59:23.853 --> 00:59:27.414
Date your turn team buddy.
00:59:27.414 --> 00:59:30.737
Try to date the manager.
00:59:30.737 --> 00:59:38.451
No, I'm kidding, try to date all the single doctors do you know I?
00:59:38.992 --> 00:59:42.742
be crazy about it that's, that's bold.
00:59:43.302 --> 01:00:02.344
I am worried that at times, because I wouldn't say I'm, I'm, I'm about a six to seven on the like attractive scale and but I'm like you know, somebody could just come for me because I'm in the position I'm in oh and I'm like
01:00:03.286 --> 01:00:07.887
never thought about that interesting
01:00:08.467 --> 01:00:10.833
yeah, I, I worry, there's your analytical mind again.
01:00:10.853 --> 01:00:11.661
You're like are they just
01:00:11.681 --> 01:00:14.451
talking to me because I'm the assistant nurse manager.
01:00:14.451 --> 01:00:16.780
Darn, not again.
01:00:16.780 --> 01:00:19.704
I ain't gotta worry about that.
01:00:19.704 --> 01:00:24.012
Luckily they're like this girl anyways.
01:00:24.032 --> 01:00:27.224
I'm like stay away, I don't want to date you
01:00:27.985 --> 01:00:38.554
we have sam from seattle who's a psych nurse, and they said I say it's human nature people bond through shared trauma and nursing has plenty of that.
01:00:38.554 --> 01:00:44.777
I just think both people need to be emotionally intelligent, if not, it becomes a whole soap opera
01:00:45.077 --> 01:00:46.922
oh it like echoes everything that we've said
01:00:47.083 --> 01:00:47.384
yeah
01:00:47.543 --> 01:00:50.751
like the shared thing, like we're all going through the same stuff.
01:00:52.121 --> 01:00:54.128
You're spending long hours with each other.
01:00:54.780 --> 01:00:57.750
I mean literally almost more than what you spend with family.
01:00:57.750 --> 01:01:00.005
It just depends.
01:01:00.005 --> 01:01:04.182
And yeah, there's something about trauma bonding Like it just does.
01:01:04.182 --> 01:01:06.469
It does.
01:01:07.472 --> 01:01:13.516
Okay, louise, ed Tech from Miami, let's be real, a lot of y'all are already dating.
01:01:13.516 --> 01:01:14.920
It's like nobody knows.
01:01:14.920 --> 01:01:17.224
We know, everyone knows.
01:01:17.224 --> 01:01:19.088
Just don't lie about it.
01:01:19.088 --> 01:01:20.831
Own it and be professional.
01:01:20.831 --> 01:01:21.813
The unit knows.
01:01:21.813 --> 01:01:23.021
They always know.
01:01:23.021 --> 01:01:26.751
They don't always know, though I will tell you, not everybody always knows.
01:01:26.751 --> 01:01:29.246
But that's funny as hell, especially being an ed tech.
01:01:29.246 --> 01:01:34.164
You know the ED is sloppy, the ED is sloppy, okay, so what is it?
01:01:34.164 --> 01:01:37.288
They say, like don't date the four Fs.
01:01:37.288 --> 01:01:39.996
And it's like oh wait, firefighters.
01:01:39.996 --> 01:01:42.826
No, I mean the four Ps, but then they spell firefighter with P-H.
01:01:55.556 --> 01:01:59.625
Maybe it's the police paramedic hold on I feel like I need to do the google, okay, because I don't know.
01:01:59.625 --> 01:02:07.485
Hold on, but no, that's so sloppy of the ed policemen, physicians, paramedics and firefighters spelled with a p physician.
01:02:07.485 --> 01:02:11.371
That is so freaking funny but that is serious.
01:02:11.371 --> 01:02:14.242
That is, that is like a something that you I mean.
01:02:14.503 --> 01:02:16.168
I see it everywhere on social media
01:02:16.188 --> 01:02:19.018
I'm sure you say this this guy does it.
01:02:19.018 --> 01:02:22.123
Yeah, so why?
01:02:22.123 --> 01:02:23.826
Why is it toxic?
01:02:24.766 --> 01:02:30.916
toxic police firefighteramedics Because they're coming into the ED all the time.
01:02:31.000 --> 01:02:36.349
Oh, oh, oh, oh, all of those, oh, oh, oh, oh, yeah, all of those are coming into the ED all the time.
01:02:36.420 --> 01:02:38.695
You know people in uniform.
01:02:38.695 --> 01:02:44.072
Yeah, yeah, Back in honestly like people find people in scrubs really attractive.
01:02:44.072 --> 01:02:45.601
People find uniforms really.
01:02:45.601 --> 01:02:49.724
I mean, scrubs are a uniform, but it's spicy.
01:02:49.724 --> 01:02:58.710
It's late hours, shared trauma, bonding, but a little bit different from also lurking in the hospital or being a cop.
01:02:58.710 --> 01:03:02.052
It gets toxic down in the ED.
01:03:02.052 --> 01:03:02.893
They're so sloppy.
01:03:02.893 --> 01:03:04.434
That's why I thought that was so funny.
01:03:04.434 --> 01:03:08.556
We know you're dating, we all know, don't lie about it.
01:03:08.556 --> 01:03:15.702
Yeah, that's wild, really funny.
01:03:15.722 --> 01:03:18.293
Okay, wait, I don't even know where we're going next, but a question just popped up into my head and I want
01:03:18.373 --> 01:03:18.974
hit me with it
01:03:20.039 --> 01:03:37.456
okay, let's say you're dating someone at the hospital and then you find out that they're dating a lot of other people also at the hospital, or either concurrently or previously.
01:03:38.382 --> 01:03:39.465
Close previously.
01:03:39.465 --> 01:03:40.309
Close previously.
01:03:40.980 --> 01:03:42.626
What do you do?
01:03:44.760 --> 01:03:54.876
Well, it depends on what your intentions are in this whole dating thing, and well, I actually I take that back.
01:03:54.876 --> 01:03:55.360
It doesn't matter.
01:03:55.360 --> 01:04:02.574
It depends on their response to your asking them what their intentions are.
01:04:02.574 --> 01:04:11.135
If their intentions are to just kind of have a fun summer, then cool.
01:04:11.135 --> 01:04:14.447
You know, you've learned that that's your goal.
01:04:14.447 --> 01:04:17.644
Or that's their goal yeah, if that's your goal, cool.
01:04:17.644 --> 01:04:20.369
If not, you probably should go keep it going.
01:04:20.369 --> 01:04:29.824
If their intentions are for a longer term thing, you've got to trust that they really want to be long term.
01:04:29.864 --> 01:04:30.867
If you want to be long term too,
01:04:31.782 --> 01:04:33.929
yeah, you have to go in with some trust again.
01:04:33.929 --> 01:04:37.021
So it comes down to communication it does it's like let's get on the same page here
01:04:37.202 --> 01:04:38.505
were you thinking the same, or?
01:04:38.865 --> 01:04:39.507
Yeah, I am.
01:04:39.507 --> 01:04:39.829
I think.
01:04:39.829 --> 01:04:49.784
I think you have to know your own intentions going into dating and you have to know, like what you're willing to deal with going into dating so if my intentions were something different than they are.
01:04:51.146 --> 01:05:02.161
So my just to reiterate you be clear my dating intentions currently are I'm just dating there's.
01:05:02.161 --> 01:05:02.521
I'm not.
01:05:02.521 --> 01:05:04.166
I'm meeting new people having a good time.
01:05:04.166 --> 01:05:06.030
There's no long-term dating in my wants or needs at this time.
01:05:06.271 --> 01:05:06.472
Right.
01:05:21.711 --> 01:05:28.157
If I found out that someone was seeing other people, right into it and we have a conversation, it's like, okay, I've also.
01:05:28.157 --> 01:05:30.239
Okay, how do you feel about relationships?
01:05:30.239 --> 01:05:34.331
That, how am I gonna put this?
01:05:34.331 --> 01:05:37.527
I'm learning.
01:05:37.527 --> 01:05:43.039
I'm let me just say this I'm learning a lot about how people in 2025 are dating.
01:05:43.219 --> 01:05:49.804
Right now I feel like I in my personal dating history I've been like a serial monogamist.
01:05:49.804 --> 01:05:57.168
So like I go I usually when I'm dating, I'm dating with long term intent, like when I first started dating people.
01:05:57.168 --> 01:06:06.335
So I this is probably the at 32, my first time being like you know what I just want to like meet people and I don't want to be locked down immediately.
01:06:06.335 --> 01:06:12.824
I think I'm just really enjoying being single and my independence and my privacy and whatever.
01:06:12.824 --> 01:06:16.793
So like I don't really want to welcome somebody in into that right now.
01:06:16.793 --> 01:06:20.715
Right in the past, I've been like I want a long-term partner.
01:06:20.715 --> 01:06:27.233
So this is the first time I've dated with this new intention and in doing so, I'm learning about situationships.
01:06:27.233 --> 01:06:28.295
I'm learning about situationships.
01:06:28.295 --> 01:06:30.320
I'm learning about the conversation.
01:06:30.320 --> 01:06:39.829
It's different to be exclusive with someone, but not boyfriend and girlfriend and then like, are we completely open?
01:06:42.461 --> 01:06:43.385
So where's the question?
01:06:43.385 --> 01:06:44.449
I don't know, okay.
01:06:45.079 --> 01:06:48.123
Your experience or what your opinion is on those things.
01:06:48.123 --> 01:06:49.143
I think okay.
01:06:49.143 --> 01:06:57.050
So, like prior to being in a situation such as the one I'm currently in, I didn't really get the like.
01:06:57.050 --> 01:06:59.692
I was like if you're exclusive, then you're dating, like I don't get that.
01:06:59.692 --> 01:07:06.318
But now I understand the nuances to all these little pieces.
01:07:07.342 --> 01:07:10.474
Would you care to explain at least the difference between?
01:07:10.474 --> 01:07:14.326
I was exclusive and dating or like well, I think exclusive.
01:07:14.365 --> 01:07:30.514
Okay, so the my interpretation of the difference between exclusive and actually having claiming that person as your one and only partner is how many sexual partners you are having so like if you are exclusive.
01:07:30.514 --> 01:07:32.237
Oh, partners you are having so like if you are exclusive, oh, interesting.
01:07:32.237 --> 01:07:32.599
You are.
01:07:33.922 --> 01:07:36.731
You're one of the few that I'm having sex with.
01:07:37.300 --> 01:07:39.346
No, you are the only one I'm having sex with.
01:07:40.590 --> 01:07:41.211
Oh, interesting.
01:07:41.760 --> 01:07:53.442
But you might be going on other dates and hanging out with other people, but you're only having a sexual relationship with one person, but you don't want to put a title on it.
01:07:53.442 --> 01:07:54.324
Isn't that annoying?
01:07:54.324 --> 01:07:57.391
But also that's how I feel right now.
01:07:57.391 --> 01:08:04.409
I don't want to put any titles on anything I don't know wow, that's.
01:08:04.530 --> 01:08:07.574
That's intriguing, for sure I.
01:08:08.155 --> 01:08:08.715
Isn't that weird?
01:08:08.715 --> 01:08:10.880
That's how 20-25 dating is.
01:08:11.362 --> 01:08:12.748
There's open relationships now.
01:08:13.780 --> 01:08:20.673
Yeah, there's people who are in emotional long-term relationships, but then it's open sexually to other people, which is.
01:08:20.673 --> 01:08:22.166
I don't think I'd be down with that.
01:08:22.166 --> 01:08:24.645
To each their own.
01:08:25.881 --> 01:08:27.568
Yeah, I'm impressed people can do it.
01:08:27.568 --> 01:08:29.046
That's what I'm going to say.
01:08:29.046 --> 01:08:30.801
I'm impressed people can do it.
01:08:30.801 --> 01:08:32.203
That's what I'm going to say.
01:08:32.203 --> 01:08:32.823
I'm impressed people can do it.
01:08:32.823 --> 01:08:33.524
Oh yeah, so you know.
01:08:33.524 --> 01:08:39.911
The last thing is just kind of briefly talking about, like, what it's like to be single.
01:08:39.911 --> 01:08:43.654
Not you anymore, I am Okay.
01:08:49.701 --> 01:08:53.492
I haven't had any conversations about exclusivity or name.
01:08:54.039 --> 01:08:58.631
You're right, but you just said I wonder why I haven't had that conversation yet.
01:08:58.800 --> 01:08:59.882
The pros to being single.
01:08:59.882 --> 01:09:02.329
There are too many for me to give up right now.
01:09:02.329 --> 01:09:07.283
Okay, that was also a conversation I had.
01:09:07.283 --> 01:09:09.930
I was told I was rich.
01:09:09.930 --> 01:09:11.672
I said I'm not rich, I'm just a single woman.
01:09:12.094 --> 01:09:12.595
Yeah, I mean.
01:09:12.595 --> 01:09:20.573
But also you do make decent money as a nurse who's single and you get to do stuff.
01:09:20.573 --> 01:09:25.380
Well, majority of you get to do stuff Like, you get to travel, you get to have fun.
01:09:25.640 --> 01:09:27.362
We have a great schedule to do that.
01:09:27.362 --> 01:09:31.766
If you're working, the traditional 3-12s and then you have all the days off, you can do so much.
01:09:31.766 --> 01:09:40.497
If you're single, you have nobody to like not that you need to answer to a partner, but you have nobody to answer to.
01:09:40.497 --> 01:09:44.820
If you want to go and do something, you go and do it.
01:09:44.820 --> 01:09:47.503
You don't have to be like hey, just letting you know I was considering this.
01:09:49.284 --> 01:09:52.908
And even those that are in outpatient and doing like clinic work.
01:09:52.908 --> 01:09:55.010
You get weekends and holidays.
01:09:55.310 --> 01:09:55.570
Yeah.
01:09:56.011 --> 01:09:57.131
Like that's pretty cool too.
01:09:57.311 --> 01:09:59.573
Honestly, it's really great to be single and be a nurse.
01:09:59.613 --> 01:10:00.675
Yeah, no, it's great.
01:10:01.015 --> 01:10:01.836
Have a ton of fun.
01:10:02.436 --> 01:10:02.636
Same.
01:10:02.636 --> 01:10:06.645
The cons to being single and being a nurse.
01:10:06.645 --> 01:10:08.336
I need to push that paddle board before I forget tonight.
01:10:08.457 --> 01:10:09.643
Yes, did you look at that?
01:10:09.783 --> 01:10:11.121
No, Before you leave.
01:10:11.121 --> 01:10:11.561
You got to.
01:10:11.561 --> 01:10:12.483
I don't know anything.
01:10:12.502 --> 01:10:13.304
We can look at them.
01:10:13.304 --> 01:10:14.466
Cons to being
01:10:14.485 --> 01:10:15.228
Speaking of spending money.
01:10:19.253 --> 01:10:22.188
It's funny, colby is my executive assistant.
01:10:22.188 --> 01:10:26.786
That's my official title she spends my money and saves my money.
01:10:29.372 --> 01:10:29.652
I don't.
01:10:29.652 --> 01:10:30.314
Let's be clear.
01:10:30.314 --> 01:10:32.228
I don't spend his money on myself.
01:10:32.228 --> 01:10:35.109
I spend well in a roundabout way.
01:10:35.109 --> 01:10:42.962
In a roundabout way, I do spend your money to benefit myself, like you know.
01:10:42.962 --> 01:10:46.628
What's a great idea you should buy a paddleboard so that you can go paddleboarding with me.
01:10:47.622 --> 01:10:51.364
Or you know what's a good idea this five-day mimicking.
01:10:51.364 --> 01:10:52.710
Fast Tell me how it goes.
01:10:55.081 --> 01:11:00.367
You should try Prolon and let me know how it goes, because if you enjoyed it, if you think it's okay, I'm going to get it.
01:11:00.367 --> 01:11:02.570
You know what's cool?
01:11:02.570 --> 01:11:07.326
Dexcoms they make one called Stelo.
01:11:07.326 --> 01:11:10.686
I have so many examples of this
01:11:12.462 --> 01:11:15.065
the oura ring, the first one.
01:11:18.001 --> 01:11:26.297
It only took me like two years to get one after that, okay, yeah, I do spend your money, but it benefits both of us.
01:11:26.297 --> 01:11:30.551
It does, it brings us both a lot of good things.
01:11:31.600 --> 01:11:32.805
We have fun times together.
01:11:33.025 --> 01:11:33.346
We do.
01:11:33.627 --> 01:11:33.809
Yeah.
01:11:34.980 --> 01:11:44.605
But yeah, so the cons of being single and being a nurse, your random days and weekends, like your schedule while it could benefit you, it could also hinder your availability to go out and meet people.
01:11:44.605 --> 01:11:45.542
You have to work.
01:11:45.542 --> 01:11:46.820
Holidays you have to work.
01:11:46.820 --> 01:11:51.048
You know major and minor ones, which we've talked in the past, but, like you know, people have.
01:11:51.048 --> 01:11:53.722
People's value system on stuff is not the same, it's not.
01:11:53.783 --> 01:11:58.787
It is not equal across the board and like someone might really really really like they're.
01:11:58.787 --> 01:12:02.654
You know they're big, big Christians and they have to.
01:12:02.654 --> 01:12:04.365
Easter is a big deal for their family.
01:12:04.365 --> 01:12:17.011
You know what I mean Like, whereas myself I'm like, okay, I'm working Easter, not a big deal Like versus working Christmas or working Thanksgiving and New Year's Eve, that sort of thing.
01:12:17.110 --> 01:12:19.011
I will work every holiday except for Thanksgiving.
01:12:19.372 --> 01:12:21.475
And I will work every holiday except for New Year's Eve.
01:12:21.534 --> 01:12:21.854
There we go.
01:12:22.255 --> 01:12:37.608
Yeah, new Year's Eve is my holiday, yeah, and then when you're also the cons like with both of those things, it's just it can be really hard to meet people, yeah, which is why a lot of people end up dating their coworkers because y'all are doing the.
01:12:37.608 --> 01:12:41.213
It goes back to that shared spending so much time together.
01:12:41.354 --> 01:12:56.743
True the fact that I feel like nurses have this weird sense of like morbid Humor.
01:12:56.764 --> 01:13:02.909
Yeah, like it's not necessarily like humor, like we do some humor, but we're just naturally a little bit more okay with death.
01:13:03.551 --> 01:13:04.110
Oh, for sure.
01:13:04.110 --> 01:13:06.634
We're just darker, we're definitely darker.
01:13:06.634 --> 01:13:08.735
We didn't even talk about this.
01:13:14.541 --> 01:13:17.309
When your partner can become a patient, or your.
01:13:17.328 --> 01:13:18.372
Oh Lord, no, we don't have time for that.
01:13:19.342 --> 01:13:20.667
We're not going to get deep into that.
01:13:20.667 --> 01:13:23.863
Yeah, I mean we are.
01:13:24.425 --> 01:13:33.662
Overall, we're a very morbid dark humor group of people and I think that can be something that, like, steers people away
01:13:34.324 --> 01:13:42.846
oh yeah, for sure I've gotten strange I mean even responses been like wait you're not vibing on my on my level.
01:13:43.106 --> 01:13:43.769
Oh, shoot
01:13:43.828 --> 01:13:44.329
my bad.
01:13:44.409 --> 01:13:45.792
That's the health care in me whoopsie.
01:13:46.502 --> 01:13:50.112
But even people don't even like it when I say if I die, I die.
01:13:51.481 --> 01:13:53.945
I don't like when you say that there's nothing wrong with it.
01:13:54.320 --> 01:13:56.167
It's nothing different than me saying YOLO.
01:13:58.180 --> 01:14:00.067
Yeah, but just I'd rather you say YOLO.
01:14:00.568 --> 01:14:01.251
I'd rather not.
01:14:03.420 --> 01:14:04.505
YOLO's unserious.
01:14:04.505 --> 01:14:05.725
If I die, I die.
01:14:05.725 --> 01:14:08.262
It's just my brain's like.
01:14:08.262 --> 01:14:08.884
I don't like that.
01:14:09.805 --> 01:14:10.265
Immediately.
01:14:10.426 --> 01:14:10.967
Immediately.
01:14:11.007 --> 01:14:15.835
Immediately no, nope, all right, I'm done.
01:14:17.581 --> 01:14:19.007
All right class dismissed.
01:14:19.007 --> 01:14:21.680
That's a wrap for today's session of Nursing Lyfe 101.
01:14:21.680 --> 01:14:24.590
We hope you found some useful takeaways to bring back to the floor.
01:14:24.590 --> 01:14:29.792
Remember, nursing is a lifelong learning journey and we're here with you suffering.
01:14:31.604 --> 01:14:32.234
Trying to find love.
01:14:32.234 --> 01:14:32.680
Trying to find love.
01:14:32.980 --> 01:14:35.725
Trying to find love, trying to look for love.
01:14:35.725 --> 01:14:38.587
Oh no, in all the wrong places, in all the wrong places.
01:14:38.627 --> 01:14:46.819
Yeah, if you want to connect, find us on Twitter at NurseLyfe101, or on Facebook at NursingLyfe101.
01:14:46.819 --> 01:14:51.109
And don't forget to subscribe and share with fellow nurses.
01:14:51.109 --> 01:14:57.332
Until next time, take care of yourselves, keep searching the dating pool and keep making a difference out there.
01:14:57.960 --> 01:14:59.140
Maybe don't date at work.