WEBVTT
00:00:00.119 --> 00:00:03.359
Hi, I'm Michele Mateus, and welcome to Noticing the Ordinary.
00:00:03.609 --> 00:00:10.369
This podcast is all about solo musings and honest conversations where we share about the things we so often miss in life.
00:00:11.099 --> 00:00:14.410
There's no homework, there's no adding to your to-do list.
00:00:14.419 --> 00:00:15.439
No one needs that.
00:00:16.039 --> 00:00:19.949
Honestly, I'm just here to offer some good company and sharing something worth noticing.
00:00:21.530 --> 00:00:25.399
But a note before we dive in, I share openly and honestly here.
00:00:25.839 --> 00:00:27.660
I'm not a therapist or a doctor.
00:00:27.929 --> 00:00:30.160
This is personal sharing, not professional advice.
00:00:30.710 --> 00:00:34.579
So if you're going through something heavy, please reach out to someone who can really help.
00:00:35.159 --> 00:00:37.890
And if you're not sure where to turn to, I've got you.
00:00:38.140 --> 00:00:42.289
I've added some resources to my podcast homepage, so make sure to check those out.
00:00:43.159 --> 00:00:43.670
All right.
00:00:43.979 --> 00:00:45.850
Now let's get down to noticing something
00:00:49.244 --> 00:00:55.314
Today I wanna share some lessons from my first ever, and very new to me, peach tree.
00:00:56.054 --> 00:01:04.405
When I got this peach tree, I planted it in my backyard couple months ago, and it had three little peaches on it, I was so excited.
00:01:04.405 --> 00:01:12.715
I was like,"Oh my gosh, we're gonna have peaches." Now, the person that we got the peach tree from said it may not produce fully this year.
00:01:13.055 --> 00:01:16.495
Typically, the second or third year is when a new tree fully produces.
00:01:16.525 --> 00:01:19.204
"Okay, no problem," but it had these little peaches on there.
00:01:19.795 --> 00:01:22.275
And then they started to grow ever so slowly.
00:01:23.555 --> 00:01:34.254
Now, I haven't been out to water my garden in a few days because it'd been raining, and so I went out to water my garden, and I'm making my way over to the peach tree.
00:01:35.734 --> 00:01:40.135
And I get there, and the peaches had been eaten.
00:01:41.885 --> 00:01:44.665
I was like,"Oh my goodness.
00:01:44.674 --> 00:01:47.465
What?" I was so excited about these peaches.
00:01:48.155 --> 00:01:55.284
They had been totally eaten, and I started to wonder,"What ate these peaches?
00:01:55.344 --> 00:01:56.155
I was looking around.
00:01:56.155 --> 00:01:56.935
I thought,"Hmm.
00:01:56.974 --> 00:01:59.185
Okay, so there's No branches are broken.
00:01:59.185 --> 00:02:02.055
I don't think it was a rat that climbed up here, but maybe.
00:02:04.055 --> 00:02:04.564
Was it birds?
00:02:04.825 --> 00:02:25.191
Like, do birds like peaches?" And then I went from this frustrated feeling To starting to notice that my imagination was taking off as though I could picture these little critters, maybe it was birds and rats, I don't know, having a picnic on my peach tree.
00:02:25.441 --> 00:02:30.121
And I went from that frustration to imagination.
00:02:30.341 --> 00:02:33.260
Now, I don't know if that's because that's just how I'm wired.
00:02:33.300 --> 00:02:38.570
I am autistic and ADHD, and my brain just moves a mile a minute, and it's very visual.
00:02:38.841 --> 00:02:43.580
But I started picturing these little critters, having this picnic out there.
00:02:45.061 --> 00:02:51.961
And then I started to think about the lessons from nature that we receive the more that we spend time in nature.
00:02:51.961 --> 00:03:18.449
And to be honest, I don't have the opportunity to spend a lot of time in nature, which is why I created this garden in my backyard I started to think about how things don't often go as planned, and nature really teaches us this and reminds us that we need to be flexible with our thinking And also how can we find joy in something that doesn't go our way?
00:03:18.709 --> 00:03:22.378
Which is really hard to do, and I'm not saying it's even possible most of the time.
00:03:22.899 --> 00:03:35.068
But today I went from frustration to honestly, like if you could see me right now, I have such a big smile on my face because I can totally picture the picnic that these little friends were having out there.
00:03:36.459 --> 00:03:49.889
So I guess the share and my lessons from the peach tree today is that, yeah, things don't always go our way, and we can be nurturing something and giving it so much love.
00:03:50.959 --> 00:04:01.868
It kinda makes me think of my kiddo, and the way that we nurture something or someone with all of our love and care, and it doesn't always turn out the way we thought.
00:04:03.769 --> 00:04:10.235
But it doesn't mean that new growth can't happen Damn you peach tree.
00:04:11.794 --> 00:04:17.485
I guess this is why the birdies came, and the rats, and whoever else, whatever else came for that picnic.
00:04:17.485 --> 00:04:20.084
Actually, now they're covered in ants, those little peaches.
00:04:20.435 --> 00:04:22.045
So the picnic continues on.
00:04:22.404 --> 00:04:24.095
And hey, I don't know why I didn't get an invite.
00:04:24.134 --> 00:04:27.435
Maybe next time they could let me know that they were coming over.
00:04:28.394 --> 00:04:29.954
Here's the lesson from the peach tree.
00:04:30.805 --> 00:04:37.745
We gotta keep on going, and we gotta keep on nurturing because more growth will happen, and I know it's fricking exhausting.
00:04:37.805 --> 00:04:38.574
I'm exhausted.
00:04:38.845 --> 00:04:46.704
I'm a parent to a child with high support needs, and it's changed my life a lot, and I'm still grappling with the grief around that.
00:04:47.964 --> 00:04:53.654
And I happen to know a lot of parents who are in the same situation as I am.
00:04:54.334 --> 00:05:03.817
And, you know, raising kids is never easy, and raising kids with disabilities it's, It's, well, I don't know.
00:05:03.817 --> 00:05:05.937
The only word I can think of right now is brutal.
00:05:05.997 --> 00:05:06.997
It's fucking brutal.
00:05:07.067 --> 00:05:19.726
It's really, really hard So I wanna thank the peach tree, and I wanna thank the little critters that came by and had a picnic.
00:05:20.166 --> 00:05:24.047
Although, I will say that I'm a little stung that they didn't invite me.
00:05:27.076 --> 00:05:33.377
But this morning when I came across my peach tree and saw those peaches, because I've been checking on them, okay?
00:05:33.406 --> 00:05:41.656
I have been checking on them, like waiting for them to mature and be the size that I could pick and just, mm, bite into.
00:05:41.706 --> 00:05:49.677
I've never had a peach tree before, And what originally felt as a wah, wah kind of moment, like,"Oh, here we go.
00:05:49.677 --> 00:06:01.057
The critters got to them before we did," actually turned into an opportunity for my imagination to be fired up I think that's the gift.
00:06:01.357 --> 00:06:02.737
That's the gift from the peach tree.
00:06:03.317 --> 00:06:18.372
That's the gift from the critters that came and had a picnic The opportunity to go from frustration and remembering that we can shift our energy just as I did today.
00:06:21.793 --> 00:06:36.853
And listen, I know it's not always easy to reframe or to go from frustrated to having your imagination run wild and a cartoon playing in your head of all these cute critters having the best time of their lives.
00:06:37.142 --> 00:06:37.692
I get that.
00:06:37.733 --> 00:06:40.992
It's not realistic to think that's always possible.
00:06:41.682 --> 00:06:56.072
Today, I got there pretty quick because, like I said, I was examining these peaches, trying to find out who did it, like a little detective, nature detective, and then I switched from detective mode to,"Aw, cute.
00:06:56.132 --> 00:07:03.853
I hope they had fun." I know that's not always possible because there's not always something that will help you in the reframe.
00:07:03.872 --> 00:07:17.081
So in this case, the critters, the cute little critters, they kinda helped me in the reframe Now, if my house had been vandalized, I don't think I'd be going,"Aw, cute." Right?
00:07:17.091 --> 00:07:19.031
So it really depends on the situation.
00:07:20.451 --> 00:07:23.930
A lot of people ask me,"Oh my gosh, you're like a bounce back queen.
00:07:23.930 --> 00:07:24.860
Like, you're so resilient.
00:07:24.870 --> 00:07:29.581
How do you do that." I've kind of always just been like that.
00:07:29.620 --> 00:07:31.230
So, I honestly do not know.
00:07:31.230 --> 00:07:37.302
It's not something I do I really just think it's how I'm wired.
00:07:38.213 --> 00:07:43.012
And being wired that way doesn't mean that it makes life any easier.
00:07:43.132 --> 00:07:47.673
It doesn't mean that when you see the peaches, you're like,"Oh, yay, critters came today.
00:07:47.673 --> 00:07:49.112
I hope they had a great meal." No.
00:07:49.583 --> 00:08:09.432
When you're wired the way I am, you still feel pain, you still feel frustration, you still feel sadness, And quite frankly, it can sometimes also be a curse because when you are down, when you are frustrated, when you are so angry you can't even face the day.
00:08:10.403 --> 00:08:31.579
Sometimes you're not offered the grace, and I suspect other people who are wired the way I am can relate So to wrap up my thoughts around my peach tree and the critters that ate my peaches Sometimes we need to reframe.
00:08:33.269 --> 00:09:36.071
Sometimes we need some acceptance, and sometimes that acceptance is radical acceptance, and it's really fricking hard to do But if there's anything I've learned, especially over the last three years, is that it's often a slow process, yet it's possible We're not always gonna quickly bounce back and have our imaginations flowing with cute little cartoons of critters nibbling on peaches, that's for sure But I do know and I, I always will believe that it's possible, not only for me, but for everyone here who's listening I think that's what they call giving ourselves grace and having a little patience Until next time, I'm Michele Mateus, your host of Noticing the Ordinary, and I truly hope that something ordinary stops you in your tracks soon, maybe even a yummy, juicy peach
00:00:00.119 --> 00:00:03.359
Hi, I'm Michele Mateus, and welcome to Noticing the Ordinary.
00:00:03.609 --> 00:00:10.369
This podcast is all about solo musings and honest conversations where we share about the things we so often miss in life.
00:00:11.099 --> 00:00:14.410
There's no homework, there's no adding to your to-do list.
00:00:14.419 --> 00:00:15.439
No one needs that.
00:00:16.039 --> 00:00:19.949
Honestly, I'm just here to offer some good company and sharing something worth noticing.
00:00:21.530 --> 00:00:25.399
But a note before we dive in, I share openly and honestly here.
00:00:25.839 --> 00:00:27.660
I'm not a therapist or a doctor.
00:00:27.929 --> 00:00:30.160
This is personal sharing, not professional advice.
00:00:30.710 --> 00:00:34.579
So if you're going through something heavy, please reach out to someone who can really help.
00:00:35.159 --> 00:00:37.890
And if you're not sure where to turn to, I've got you.
00:00:38.140 --> 00:00:42.289
I've added some resources to my podcast homepage, so make sure to check those out.
00:00:43.159 --> 00:00:43.670
All right.
00:00:43.979 --> 00:00:45.850
Now let's get down to noticing something
00:00:49.244 --> 00:00:55.314
Today I wanna share some lessons from my first ever, and very new to me, peach tree.
00:00:56.054 --> 00:01:04.405
When I got this peach tree, I planted it in my backyard couple months ago, and it had three little peaches on it, I was so excited.
00:01:04.405 --> 00:01:12.715
I was like,"Oh my gosh, we're gonna have peaches." Now, the person that we got the peach tree from said it may not produce fully this year.
00:01:13.055 --> 00:01:16.495
Typically, the second or third year is when a new tree fully produces.
00:01:16.525 --> 00:01:19.204
"Okay, no problem," but it had these little peaches on there.
00:01:19.795 --> 00:01:22.275
And then they started to grow ever so slowly.
00:01:23.555 --> 00:01:34.254
Now, I haven't been out to water my garden in a few days because it'd been raining, and so I went out to water my garden, and I'm making my way over to the peach tree.
00:01:35.734 --> 00:01:40.135
And I get there, and the peaches had been eaten.
00:01:41.885 --> 00:01:44.665
I was like,"Oh my goodness.
00:01:44.674 --> 00:01:47.465
What?" I was so excited about these peaches.
00:01:48.155 --> 00:01:55.284
They had been totally eaten, and I started to wonder,"What ate these peaches?
00:01:55.344 --> 00:01:56.155
I was looking around.
00:01:56.155 --> 00:01:56.935
I thought,"Hmm.
00:01:56.974 --> 00:01:59.185
Okay, so there's No branches are broken.
00:01:59.185 --> 00:02:02.055
I don't think it was a rat that climbed up here, but maybe.
00:02:04.055 --> 00:02:04.564
Was it birds?
00:02:04.825 --> 00:02:25.191
Like, do birds like peaches?" And then I went from this frustrated feeling To starting to notice that my imagination was taking off as though I could picture these little critters, maybe it was birds and rats, I don't know, having a picnic on my peach tree.
00:02:25.441 --> 00:02:30.121
And I went from that frustration to imagination.
00:02:30.341 --> 00:02:33.260
Now, I don't know if that's because that's just how I'm wired.
00:02:33.300 --> 00:02:38.570
I am autistic and ADHD, and my brain just moves a mile a minute, and it's very visual.
00:02:38.841 --> 00:02:43.580
But I started picturing these little critters, having this picnic out there.
00:02:45.061 --> 00:02:51.961
And then I started to think about the lessons from nature that we receive the more that we spend time in nature.
00:02:51.961 --> 00:03:18.449
And to be honest, I don't have the opportunity to spend a lot of time in nature, which is why I created this garden in my backyard I started to think about how things don't often go as planned, and nature really teaches us this and reminds us that we need to be flexible with our thinking And also how can we find joy in something that doesn't go our way?
00:03:18.709 --> 00:03:22.378
Which is really hard to do, and I'm not saying it's even possible most of the time.
00:03:22.899 --> 00:03:35.068
But today I went from frustration to honestly, like if you could see me right now, I have such a big smile on my face because I can totally picture the picnic that these little friends were having out there.
00:03:36.459 --> 00:03:49.889
So I guess the share and my lessons from the peach tree today is that, yeah, things don't always go our way, and we can be nurturing something and giving it so much love.
00:03:50.959 --> 00:04:01.868
It kinda makes me think of my kiddo, and the way that we nurture something or someone with all of our love and care, and it doesn't always turn out the way we thought.
00:04:03.769 --> 00:04:10.235
But it doesn't mean that new growth can't happen Damn you peach tree.
00:04:11.794 --> 00:04:17.485
I guess this is why the birdies came, and the rats, and whoever else, whatever else came for that picnic.
00:04:17.485 --> 00:04:20.084
Actually, now they're covered in ants, those little peaches.
00:04:20.435 --> 00:04:22.045
So the picnic continues on.
00:04:22.404 --> 00:04:24.095
And hey, I don't know why I didn't get an invite.
00:04:24.134 --> 00:04:27.435
Maybe next time they could let me know that they were coming over.
00:04:28.394 --> 00:04:29.954
Here's the lesson from the peach tree.
00:04:30.805 --> 00:04:37.745
We gotta keep on going, and we gotta keep on nurturing because more growth will happen, and I know it's fricking exhausting.
00:04:37.805 --> 00:04:38.574
I'm exhausted.
00:04:38.845 --> 00:04:46.704
I'm a parent to a child with high support needs, and it's changed my life a lot, and I'm still grappling with the grief around that.
00:04:47.964 --> 00:04:53.654
And I happen to know a lot of parents who are in the same situation as I am.
00:04:54.334 --> 00:05:03.817
And, you know, raising kids is never easy, and raising kids with disabilities it's, It's, well, I don't know.
00:05:03.817 --> 00:05:05.937
The only word I can think of right now is brutal.
00:05:05.997 --> 00:05:06.997
It's fucking brutal.
00:05:07.067 --> 00:05:19.726
It's really, really hard So I wanna thank the peach tree, and I wanna thank the little critters that came by and had a picnic.
00:05:20.166 --> 00:05:24.047
Although, I will say that I'm a little stung that they didn't invite me.
00:05:27.076 --> 00:05:33.377
But this morning when I came across my peach tree and saw those peaches, because I've been checking on them, okay?
00:05:33.406 --> 00:05:41.656
I have been checking on them, like waiting for them to mature and be the size that I could pick and just, mm, bite into.
00:05:41.706 --> 00:05:49.677
I've never had a peach tree before, And what originally felt as a wah, wah kind of moment, like,"Oh, here we go.
00:05:49.677 --> 00:06:01.057
The critters got to them before we did," actually turned into an opportunity for my imagination to be fired up I think that's the gift.
00:06:01.357 --> 00:06:02.737
That's the gift from the peach tree.
00:06:03.317 --> 00:06:18.372
That's the gift from the critters that came and had a picnic The opportunity to go from frustration and remembering that we can shift our energy just as I did today.
00:06:21.793 --> 00:06:36.853
And listen, I know it's not always easy to reframe or to go from frustrated to having your imagination run wild and a cartoon playing in your head of all these cute critters having the best time of their lives.
00:06:37.142 --> 00:06:37.692
I get that.
00:06:37.733 --> 00:06:40.992
It's not realistic to think that's always possible.
00:06:41.682 --> 00:06:56.072
Today, I got there pretty quick because, like I said, I was examining these peaches, trying to find out who did it, like a little detective, nature detective, and then I switched from detective mode to,"Aw, cute.
00:06:56.132 --> 00:07:03.853
I hope they had fun." I know that's not always possible because there's not always something that will help you in the reframe.
00:07:03.872 --> 00:07:17.081
So in this case, the critters, the cute little critters, they kinda helped me in the reframe Now, if my house had been vandalized, I don't think I'd be going,"Aw, cute." Right?
00:07:17.091 --> 00:07:19.031
So it really depends on the situation.
00:07:20.451 --> 00:07:23.930
A lot of people ask me,"Oh my gosh, you're like a bounce back queen.
00:07:23.930 --> 00:07:24.860
Like, you're so resilient.
00:07:24.870 --> 00:07:29.581
How do you do that." I've kind of always just been like that.
00:07:29.620 --> 00:07:31.230
So, I honestly do not know.
00:07:31.230 --> 00:07:37.302
It's not something I do I really just think it's how I'm wired.
00:07:38.213 --> 00:07:43.012
And being wired that way doesn't mean that it makes life any easier.
00:07:43.132 --> 00:07:47.673
It doesn't mean that when you see the peaches, you're like,"Oh, yay, critters came today.
00:07:47.673 --> 00:07:49.112
I hope they had a great meal." No.
00:07:49.583 --> 00:08:09.432
When you're wired the way I am, you still feel pain, you still feel frustration, you still feel sadness, And quite frankly, it can sometimes also be a curse because when you are down, when you are frustrated, when you are so angry you can't even face the day.
00:08:10.403 --> 00:08:31.579
Sometimes you're not offered the grace, and I suspect other people who are wired the way I am can relate So to wrap up my thoughts around my peach tree and the critters that ate my peaches Sometimes we need to reframe.
00:08:33.269 --> 00:09:36.071
Sometimes we need some acceptance, and sometimes that acceptance is radical acceptance, and it's really fricking hard to do But if there's anything I've learned, especially over the last three years, is that it's often a slow process, yet it's possible We're not always gonna quickly bounce back and have our imaginations flowing with cute little cartoons of critters nibbling on peaches, that's for sure But I do know and I, I always will believe that it's possible, not only for me, but for everyone here who's listening I think that's what they call giving ourselves grace and having a little patience Until next time, I'm Michele Mateus, your host of Noticing the Ordinary, and I truly hope that something ordinary stops you in your tracks soon, maybe even a yummy, juicy peach
