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Welcome back to Navigating Between the Lines, you guys.
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My name is Maggie Fowl, your host.
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We are back after a couple weeks of Navigating Between the Lines revisited.
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Thank you so much for tuning into those episodes.
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It means a lot.
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And I am going to be honest with you, I'm feeling very refreshed.
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Um it's like wild what a couple weeks quote off could do for the mind.
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Anyway, this week I had an entirely different episode planned coming in.
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We've got a year of episodes, which is crazy.
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52 weeks, you guys, we made it.
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And I was gonna do this whole one year later thing.
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You know, like the start of the podcast, what I've learned, where we're going.
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Follow along because I'm gonna get to it next week.
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I would love if you hit subscribe just so we can share that together.
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And then I was having a conversation with another mom last week, and she was talking about the sandwich years.
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Have you heard of this?
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Um, I've never heard this phrase before, but I immediately was like, what is she talking about?
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I was like, I need to know more about this.
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But basically, she was talking about this specific age with her kids where they're too old for babysitters and maybe some of the camps that go on every day, but they're also not exactly waking up with a full itinerary for themselves every day.
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Like, yeah, mom, I've got a productive and active filled schedule.
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Like, no, they are rolling out of bed, 9 a.m., slothing on the couch until 10, hungry, but like also a granola bar does not suffice for breakfast.
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If this sounds like your kids are also in this age or close to, you know, they're asking every morning, what are we doing today?
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Where can we go?
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Can we go to five below?
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Like, I want to have this friend over, whatever.
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And listen, I know we are all in different kid care boats for the summer, but I feel like I know a lot of moms and I can confidently say that the majority of them are saying the same thing this summer.
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Depending on the age of your kids, it is this very in-between stage where everyone needs less from you and somehow they also still need you constantly.
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So, of course, I left the convo and I was like, okay, this is for sure a podcast.
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And I Googled sandwich years because duh, that's what I do.
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But according to the old Google, apparently that's not really what the phrase means.
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The sandwich generation is generally talked about adults who are raising kids while also dealing with aging parents.
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And I'm like, okay, yeah, well, that definitely still fits.
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And actually, maybe it even fits even more because I'm 40 now.
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Are you sick of me saying my age yet?
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But I keep noticing how much of the season of life feels like being right in the middle.
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Our kids are growing up.
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Our parents are getting older.
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And then boom, we come in trying to keep everyone alive, remember all the passwords, and also figure out who we are again.
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I feel like I keep undercutting the life's events I have going on right now until you're talking to someone and they're like, um, you have a lot going on.
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Like, did you hear what you just said?
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It's like a momentarily lapse.
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I'm like, oh, wrong crowd.
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But like, no, we are juggling more than we've ever had to juggle before.
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Not only is it a life, there are so many like pings coming at us every single day.
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If we don't quiet that outside noise, like, no wonder everyone is overstimulated all the time.
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And then back to school this week, it does always hit me.
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I get a little nostalgic this time of year and also a little disbelief that my kids are another grade older.
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I think about all the moms.
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Like somebody is sending their baby to kindergarten, there's middle school, there's high school, going to college, like away for the season.
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And probably somebody is out there celebrating because everyone is like finally leaving the house they can.
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I've heard that one too.
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All of it is valid.
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We are human and we're navigating these seasons together, but different.
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You know, that's kind of what this whole thing's about.
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I actually think moms are allowed to be excited for school to start and be sad that summer's ending.
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It's kind of like a catch 22.
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I think we know by now I'm big on things coexisting.
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We do this thing where we think we need to pick the emotion.
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I should be grateful.
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I should soak this up.
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I shouldn't feel this sad.
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I should be more excited.
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But like, what if it's all of it?
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Think like as long as you're not complaining about everything, like it's okay for a season to be hard while also like really enjoying parts of it.
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Because if I'm being honest, if you've had listening, I loved a lot of the summer.
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There were also parts of the summer that were really hard, just juggling all the stuff, like the kids, the camps, the Uber driving.
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And I really needed an admin day.
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Like that's really what I need in my life.
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There were days that I wanted time to slow down and days where I'm like, okay, we definitely need the schedule back.
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And I just don't think there's anything wrong with recognizing and admitting that.
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I don't remember what we were doing.
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We got home from something the other day.
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It's probably like from the grocery store.
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I think there was groceries on the counter.
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We probably stopped for a donut two because that's what we're doing this summer.
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But I walked into the house, and you know, you instantly go into house mode when you walk into your home.
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It's like you flip the laundry, there's groceries on the counter.
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I walked into the bathroom and every drawer was open.
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There's only three drawers.
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So there's all three drawers are open.
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There's two towels on the ground.
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They are wet.
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There's toothpaste all over the sink.
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I was instantly like immediately on edge.
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Right.
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And then William comes in.
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He's like trying to ask me a question.
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Chloe's yelling, Mom from the other room.
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She's trying to ask me something.
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And I could feel like, you know, you when your blood pressure races.
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I don't know if that happens to you.
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It does happen to me all the time.
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And William looks at me and he's like, hang on, mom, I can see the overstimulating happening.
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Don't let it happen.
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And I laughed out loud because I mean, it's really funny.
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It's so true.
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I feel a little bad.
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Like, am I always saying I'm overstimulated?
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I must be always being like I'm overstimulated.
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And for my son to recognize and call it overstimulating, and that's a new one, but like, just pick up the fucking towels.
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Okay.
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Just please pick up the towels so I don't lose my mind.
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And that right there is the stage that I'm in, you guys.
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It doesn't happen overnight.
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That's for sure.
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They go from these like little babies who need everything from you.
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And then, you know, one day you look up and they can swim on their own.
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They're making themselves a peanut butter and jelly, and they know you no longer need the diaper bag to leave the house.
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But the emotional piece is there more than ever.
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I think, and this this could just be my opinion, but I think the emotional piece is harder than having a newborn.
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Um, it's like really, really cool to watch your kid become their own person and they have this personality or a big personality.
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And it's cool, like, what's up, dude?
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We're friends.
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Like, what do you want to do today?
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Like, let's hang out.
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It's also running a thin line of knowing when I need to listen and also when I need to like step in and be like, okay, this is not how we're gonna act right now.
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Knowing when the attitude is just an attitude and when something deeper is going on.
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And half the time we're figuring it out like why it's still happening.
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I feel like my brain is always processing these things like minute by minute.
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There's no little handbook that gets handed to you and says, congratulations, your child is now this age, and here's exactly how it's gonna go.
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When you walk into middle school, it's kind of like a wild game.
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I mean, everybody's growing at a different rate.
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Some are going through puberty, some are like not even close to puberty yet.
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It's just, it's like a wild, it's like a wild time.
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And what's funny is I think when they were little, I think I assumed that it would get easier as they got older.
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Like for sure, we don't have diapers, everyone sleeps, everyone can buckle themselves into the car.
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Like that part, yes, we made it.
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But I don't think people talk about how it flips into like the emotional piece so much.
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I mean, now that my kids are in this phase phase, that's all we're talking about is like the emotional piece of it.
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But I don't remember when my kids were little.
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People were like, oh, you just wait.
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It's like emotion overload.
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Maybe I'm losing my train of thought a little bit, but while that's happening, like they're too old for me to smother them all the time.
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But also their brain doesn't fully function.
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So that's another piece at this age I think a lot of us are dealing with because you're like, okay, you're old enough to do A, B, and C, but like your brain doesn't work half the time.
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Mostly for boys, too, more than girls.
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But oh my goodness.
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And then our parents, our parents are getting older too.
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I'm seeing some of my friends there having the conversations on how to take care of their parents right now and what the next stage is gonna look like.
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Maybe you're going to more appointments, maybe you're answering questions your parents used to answer for you, and maybe you're really worried about them.
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And maybe you've already lost a parent.
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And watching everyone else have to navigate this stage brings up an entirely different set of feelings.
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I will tell you that there's no book on grief that will ever prepare you for any of it.
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Life and life's chapters are truly the most intertwined roads of beauty and heartache.
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It's like where the coexisting comes in.
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I don't want to get too deep here on this episode, but it is a little crazy, isn't it?
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Like, don't you think?
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Like raising the next generation while seeing the generation ahead of you.
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It's like seeing both directions at once.
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And here we are, like right in the middle of it.
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And I wonder if that's part of why this stage can feel so emotionally full all the time.
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Like, I feel like I'm always trying to be like, why am I always overstimulating?
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And I think it's because there's just so much going on all the time, and the emotional piece is so much more than just like a work deadline or you know, checking your to-do list off the list.
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There is tabs open constantly of emotional sectors.
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Is that the right word?
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It's just you're watching childhood disappear in real time while also becoming more aware that your own parents aren't frozen in time either.
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Meanwhile, you still have to get groceries and make dinner and change the laundry and make sure there's toilet paper in the house and the toothpaste.
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I don't know.
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Sometimes I think I get a little deep in a deep thinking space, and maybe that's where I'm at right now.
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So hopefully you're there with me.
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I did ask a bunch of moms how they were feeling about back to school, and nobody gave like one emotion.
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It was bittersweet, excited, sentimental, relieved.
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Where the hell did all the time go?
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And I think that's kind of the point.
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Back to school, it's like almost like a New Year's Eve.
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Not really, because it's not a new year, but it's definitely a new season, new schedules, new teachers, new routines, new versions of our kids.
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I know someone who took the first day back off from work so she could have the day to herself.
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And I thought, that's right you did, because you deserve that too.
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I usually always try to take inventory on how I want to feel this year.
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I guess I'm always taking inventory on how I feel, but not just what does everybody need for me or what do we need from the schedule, but what do I need?
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Where do I want to spend my time this fall?
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Who do I want around me?
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What do I want to start making harder than it needs to be?
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Because if you think about going back to school, we spend a lot of motherhood trying to build a community for our kids.
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We're going to like the playgrounds, we're going to the library, we're putting them on sports teams, school camps, whatever it is.
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And I do think that somewhere along the way, some of us forgot that us moms need a community too.
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Not just like the people we text on the daily, but actual people.
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Hearing someone say, oh my gosh, I thought that was just me is one of the most, is like the best thing you can hear as a mom.
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I swear.
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Like because sometimes I think we think we're the only ones that are worried about it, or our kids the only one that's struggling with this.
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And when you're able to come together and talk about it, it just makes you feel like more in a community.
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Okay.
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Like maybe this is just life.
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And I think that's the entire reason I started navigating between the lines anyway.
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I wanted somewhere to talk about the stuff that doesn't always fit neatly into a category.
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Motherhood, friendship, grief, getting older, marriage.
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We don't really talk about marriage here, but ambition, identity, that giant space between everything's great and everything is terrible, because most of us are usually living somewhere in the in-between on the daily.
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And I really believe that we're supposed to be talking about it together, which brings me to something that I've been thinking about this week.
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And I feel like I'm always getting together and having these catch-ups.
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But like, what if we did a little navigating between the lines community date on Friday?
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Tomorrow, it would be tomorrow, you guys.
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Like come after school drop-off if you're around, stay 20 minutes, whatever, show up in workout clothes.
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I can buy the donuts.
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You can just like bring your coffee if you want to hang out.
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So I think that's what I want to do.
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Damn me, like message me.
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Let's get together.
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Even if it's one person, it'll be amazing.
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I think I'm just going into this fall with my fifth and seventh graders.
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Insanity.
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And I definitely don't want to be another person telling somebody with younger kids, like, you're going to miss this because I know, you know, I know.
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I already miss versions of my kids who are standing right in front of me right now.
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That's what's been the most interesting.
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You can love where you are and still miss where you've been.
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You can be ready for school to start and also feel a little sick when you realize they're walking into another grade.
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You can be worried about your parents and annoyed that your kid left every cabinet open in the kitchen in the same five minute span.
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Apparently, this is 40.
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This is the 40 decade.
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I know it's supposed to be great.
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I think there's a lot of like feelings in there too.
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And I don't think the answer is figuring out how to carry it all better by ourselves, even though I love that trait.
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I started this podcasting.
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We should be talking about this stuff together.
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And now I'm sitting here thinking, okay, Maggie, then do that.
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So Friday morning, as I said, no networking, no name tags, just coffee if you're around you guys, because I think that's the whole point of this episode.
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We're all in some version of the middle right now.
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Different kids, different parents, different shit going on, but it's a whole lot of the same feelings.
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And I would much rather sit around a table and say, wait, that's you too, than pretending any of us have it all figured out.
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So that's what I'm gonna do.
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Come join me and we'll see where it goes.
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I will see you next week and happy back to school.
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You made it.
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Welcome back to Navigating Between the Lines, you guys.
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My name is Maggie Fowl, your host.
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We are back after a couple weeks of Navigating Between the Lines revisited.
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Thank you so much for tuning into those episodes.
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It means a lot.
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And I am going to be honest with you, I'm feeling very refreshed.
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Um it's like wild what a couple weeks quote off could do for the mind.
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Anyway, this week I had an entirely different episode planned coming in.
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We've got a year of episodes, which is crazy.
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52 weeks, you guys, we made it.
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And I was gonna do this whole one year later thing.
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You know, like the start of the podcast, what I've learned, where we're going.
00:00:44.799 --> 00:00:47.039
Follow along because I'm gonna get to it next week.
00:00:47.200 --> 00:00:51.520
I would love if you hit subscribe just so we can share that together.
00:00:51.759 --> 00:00:58.799
And then I was having a conversation with another mom last week, and she was talking about the sandwich years.
00:00:59.039 --> 00:01:00.399
Have you heard of this?
00:01:00.719 --> 00:01:06.239
Um, I've never heard this phrase before, but I immediately was like, what is she talking about?
00:01:06.319 --> 00:01:08.319
I was like, I need to know more about this.
00:01:08.480 --> 00:01:24.560
But basically, she was talking about this specific age with her kids where they're too old for babysitters and maybe some of the camps that go on every day, but they're also not exactly waking up with a full itinerary for themselves every day.
00:01:24.640 --> 00:01:28.959
Like, yeah, mom, I've got a productive and active filled schedule.
00:01:29.519 --> 00:01:39.280
Like, no, they are rolling out of bed, 9 a.m., slothing on the couch until 10, hungry, but like also a granola bar does not suffice for breakfast.
00:01:39.439 --> 00:01:46.319
If this sounds like your kids are also in this age or close to, you know, they're asking every morning, what are we doing today?
00:01:46.480 --> 00:01:47.280
Where can we go?
00:01:47.439 --> 00:01:48.719
Can we go to five below?
00:01:48.799 --> 00:01:51.120
Like, I want to have this friend over, whatever.
00:01:51.280 --> 00:02:05.280
And listen, I know we are all in different kid care boats for the summer, but I feel like I know a lot of moms and I can confidently say that the majority of them are saying the same thing this summer.
00:02:05.439 --> 00:02:15.759
Depending on the age of your kids, it is this very in-between stage where everyone needs less from you and somehow they also still need you constantly.
00:02:16.000 --> 00:02:20.159
So, of course, I left the convo and I was like, okay, this is for sure a podcast.
00:02:20.319 --> 00:02:25.840
And I Googled sandwich years because duh, that's what I do.
00:02:26.159 --> 00:02:32.800
But according to the old Google, apparently that's not really what the phrase means.
00:02:32.960 --> 00:02:40.159
The sandwich generation is generally talked about adults who are raising kids while also dealing with aging parents.
00:02:40.400 --> 00:02:44.319
And I'm like, okay, yeah, well, that definitely still fits.
00:02:44.400 --> 00:02:47.680
And actually, maybe it even fits even more because I'm 40 now.
00:02:47.840 --> 00:02:50.080
Are you sick of me saying my age yet?
00:02:50.319 --> 00:02:57.520
But I keep noticing how much of the season of life feels like being right in the middle.
00:02:57.840 --> 00:03:00.080
Our kids are growing up.
00:03:00.319 --> 00:03:02.319
Our parents are getting older.
00:03:02.479 --> 00:03:09.360
And then boom, we come in trying to keep everyone alive, remember all the passwords, and also figure out who we are again.
00:03:09.599 --> 00:03:18.960
I feel like I keep undercutting the life's events I have going on right now until you're talking to someone and they're like, um, you have a lot going on.
00:03:19.120 --> 00:03:20.800
Like, did you hear what you just said?
00:03:20.960 --> 00:03:22.639
It's like a momentarily lapse.
00:03:22.719 --> 00:03:24.080
I'm like, oh, wrong crowd.
00:03:24.159 --> 00:03:28.560
But like, no, we are juggling more than we've ever had to juggle before.
00:03:28.800 --> 00:03:33.759
Not only is it a life, there are so many like pings coming at us every single day.
00:03:34.000 --> 00:03:40.240
If we don't quiet that outside noise, like, no wonder everyone is overstimulated all the time.
00:03:40.560 --> 00:03:43.680
And then back to school this week, it does always hit me.
00:03:43.840 --> 00:03:51.039
I get a little nostalgic this time of year and also a little disbelief that my kids are another grade older.
00:03:51.199 --> 00:03:53.120
I think about all the moms.
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Like somebody is sending their baby to kindergarten, there's middle school, there's high school, going to college, like away for the season.
00:04:01.360 --> 00:04:06.879
And probably somebody is out there celebrating because everyone is like finally leaving the house they can.
00:04:07.120 --> 00:04:08.479
I've heard that one too.
00:04:08.800 --> 00:04:10.080
All of it is valid.
00:04:10.240 --> 00:04:14.639
We are human and we're navigating these seasons together, but different.
00:04:14.800 --> 00:04:17.199
You know, that's kind of what this whole thing's about.
00:04:17.600 --> 00:04:24.560
I actually think moms are allowed to be excited for school to start and be sad that summer's ending.
00:04:24.639 --> 00:04:26.639
It's kind of like a catch 22.
00:04:26.879 --> 00:04:30.319
I think we know by now I'm big on things coexisting.
00:04:30.560 --> 00:04:34.319
We do this thing where we think we need to pick the emotion.
00:04:34.720 --> 00:04:35.920
I should be grateful.
00:04:36.079 --> 00:04:37.360
I should soak this up.
00:04:37.519 --> 00:04:38.879
I shouldn't feel this sad.
00:04:39.040 --> 00:04:40.160
I should be more excited.
00:04:40.319 --> 00:04:42.560
But like, what if it's all of it?
00:04:42.879 --> 00:04:51.680
Think like as long as you're not complaining about everything, like it's okay for a season to be hard while also like really enjoying parts of it.
00:04:51.920 --> 00:04:58.480
Because if I'm being honest, if you've had listening, I loved a lot of the summer.
00:04:58.639 --> 00:05:06.000
There were also parts of the summer that were really hard, just juggling all the stuff, like the kids, the camps, the Uber driving.
00:05:06.160 --> 00:05:08.079
And I really needed an admin day.
00:05:08.240 --> 00:05:10.720
Like that's really what I need in my life.
00:05:10.879 --> 00:05:16.639
There were days that I wanted time to slow down and days where I'm like, okay, we definitely need the schedule back.
00:05:17.519 --> 00:05:23.040
And I just don't think there's anything wrong with recognizing and admitting that.
00:05:23.279 --> 00:05:25.360
I don't remember what we were doing.
00:05:25.439 --> 00:05:27.199
We got home from something the other day.
00:05:27.360 --> 00:05:28.800
It's probably like from the grocery store.
00:05:28.879 --> 00:05:30.639
I think there was groceries on the counter.
00:05:30.879 --> 00:05:34.399
We probably stopped for a donut two because that's what we're doing this summer.
00:05:34.639 --> 00:05:40.319
But I walked into the house, and you know, you instantly go into house mode when you walk into your home.
00:05:40.399 --> 00:05:43.600
It's like you flip the laundry, there's groceries on the counter.
00:05:43.759 --> 00:05:48.720
I walked into the bathroom and every drawer was open.
00:05:48.800 --> 00:05:49.920
There's only three drawers.
00:05:50.000 --> 00:05:51.920
So there's all three drawers are open.
00:05:52.000 --> 00:05:53.839
There's two towels on the ground.
00:05:53.920 --> 00:05:54.560
They are wet.
00:05:54.720 --> 00:05:57.519
There's toothpaste all over the sink.
00:05:57.680 --> 00:06:00.639
I was instantly like immediately on edge.
00:06:00.800 --> 00:06:01.120
Right.
00:06:01.279 --> 00:06:02.639
And then William comes in.
00:06:02.720 --> 00:06:04.160
He's like trying to ask me a question.
00:06:04.399 --> 00:06:06.720
Chloe's yelling, Mom from the other room.
00:06:06.879 --> 00:06:08.560
She's trying to ask me something.
00:06:08.720 --> 00:06:12.160
And I could feel like, you know, you when your blood pressure races.
00:06:12.480 --> 00:06:13.439
I don't know if that happens to you.
00:06:13.600 --> 00:06:15.199
It does happen to me all the time.
00:06:15.439 --> 00:06:19.519
And William looks at me and he's like, hang on, mom, I can see the overstimulating happening.
00:06:19.600 --> 00:06:20.879
Don't let it happen.
00:06:21.199 --> 00:06:25.759
And I laughed out loud because I mean, it's really funny.
00:06:25.839 --> 00:06:26.720
It's so true.
00:06:26.959 --> 00:06:28.000
I feel a little bad.
00:06:28.079 --> 00:06:30.319
Like, am I always saying I'm overstimulated?
00:06:30.399 --> 00:06:33.680
I must be always being like I'm overstimulated.
00:06:34.240 --> 00:06:41.680
And for my son to recognize and call it overstimulating, and that's a new one, but like, just pick up the fucking towels.
00:06:41.839 --> 00:06:42.079
Okay.
00:06:42.240 --> 00:06:46.160
Just please pick up the towels so I don't lose my mind.
00:06:46.639 --> 00:06:50.240
And that right there is the stage that I'm in, you guys.
00:06:50.319 --> 00:06:51.360
It doesn't happen overnight.
00:06:51.519 --> 00:06:52.000
That's for sure.
00:06:52.160 --> 00:06:55.920
They go from these like little babies who need everything from you.
00:06:56.079 --> 00:06:59.600
And then, you know, one day you look up and they can swim on their own.
00:06:59.680 --> 00:07:05.279
They're making themselves a peanut butter and jelly, and they know you no longer need the diaper bag to leave the house.
00:07:05.759 --> 00:07:10.639
But the emotional piece is there more than ever.
00:07:11.120 --> 00:07:18.879
I think, and this this could just be my opinion, but I think the emotional piece is harder than having a newborn.
00:07:19.120 --> 00:07:26.399
Um, it's like really, really cool to watch your kid become their own person and they have this personality or a big personality.
00:07:26.560 --> 00:07:28.160
And it's cool, like, what's up, dude?
00:07:28.240 --> 00:07:28.560
We're friends.
00:07:28.639 --> 00:07:29.680
Like, what do you want to do today?
00:07:29.759 --> 00:07:30.879
Like, let's hang out.
00:07:31.519 --> 00:07:41.360
It's also running a thin line of knowing when I need to listen and also when I need to like step in and be like, okay, this is not how we're gonna act right now.
00:07:41.600 --> 00:07:46.720
Knowing when the attitude is just an attitude and when something deeper is going on.
00:07:47.759 --> 00:07:51.519
And half the time we're figuring it out like why it's still happening.
00:07:51.680 --> 00:07:55.839
I feel like my brain is always processing these things like minute by minute.
00:07:56.000 --> 00:08:04.639
There's no little handbook that gets handed to you and says, congratulations, your child is now this age, and here's exactly how it's gonna go.
00:08:05.360 --> 00:08:08.560
When you walk into middle school, it's kind of like a wild game.
00:08:08.720 --> 00:08:11.040
I mean, everybody's growing at a different rate.
00:08:11.199 --> 00:08:15.199
Some are going through puberty, some are like not even close to puberty yet.
00:08:15.439 --> 00:08:19.600
It's just, it's like a wild, it's like a wild time.
00:08:20.079 --> 00:08:27.120
And what's funny is I think when they were little, I think I assumed that it would get easier as they got older.
00:08:27.199 --> 00:08:32.080
Like for sure, we don't have diapers, everyone sleeps, everyone can buckle themselves into the car.
00:08:32.159 --> 00:08:34.080
Like that part, yes, we made it.
00:08:34.320 --> 00:08:41.039
But I don't think people talk about how it flips into like the emotional piece so much.
00:08:41.279 --> 00:08:47.039
I mean, now that my kids are in this phase phase, that's all we're talking about is like the emotional piece of it.
00:08:47.679 --> 00:08:50.559
But I don't remember when my kids were little.
00:08:50.960 --> 00:08:53.200
People were like, oh, you just wait.
00:08:53.279 --> 00:08:57.039
It's like emotion overload.
00:08:57.840 --> 00:09:04.480
Maybe I'm losing my train of thought a little bit, but while that's happening, like they're too old for me to smother them all the time.
00:09:04.639 --> 00:09:07.200
But also their brain doesn't fully function.
00:09:07.440 --> 00:09:19.840
So that's another piece at this age I think a lot of us are dealing with because you're like, okay, you're old enough to do A, B, and C, but like your brain doesn't work half the time.
00:09:20.559 --> 00:09:23.759
Mostly for boys, too, more than girls.
00:09:24.960 --> 00:09:27.039
But oh my goodness.
00:09:27.200 --> 00:09:32.159
And then our parents, our parents are getting older too.
00:09:32.399 --> 00:09:41.679
I'm seeing some of my friends there having the conversations on how to take care of their parents right now and what the next stage is gonna look like.
00:09:41.919 --> 00:09:50.159
Maybe you're going to more appointments, maybe you're answering questions your parents used to answer for you, and maybe you're really worried about them.
00:09:50.399 --> 00:09:52.720
And maybe you've already lost a parent.
00:09:52.879 --> 00:09:59.679
And watching everyone else have to navigate this stage brings up an entirely different set of feelings.
00:09:59.919 --> 00:10:06.799
I will tell you that there's no book on grief that will ever prepare you for any of it.
00:10:07.120 --> 00:10:13.919
Life and life's chapters are truly the most intertwined roads of beauty and heartache.
00:10:14.399 --> 00:10:17.919
It's like where the coexisting comes in.
00:10:18.080 --> 00:10:22.639
I don't want to get too deep here on this episode, but it is a little crazy, isn't it?
00:10:22.720 --> 00:10:23.440
Like, don't you think?
00:10:23.519 --> 00:10:29.279
Like raising the next generation while seeing the generation ahead of you.
00:10:29.519 --> 00:10:31.600
It's like seeing both directions at once.
00:10:31.679 --> 00:10:34.879
And here we are, like right in the middle of it.
00:10:35.679 --> 00:10:42.320
And I wonder if that's part of why this stage can feel so emotionally full all the time.
00:10:42.399 --> 00:10:48.720
Like, I feel like I'm always trying to be like, why am I always overstimulating?
00:10:48.879 --> 00:11:01.759
And I think it's because there's just so much going on all the time, and the emotional piece is so much more than just like a work deadline or you know, checking your to-do list off the list.
00:11:02.000 --> 00:11:11.679
There is tabs open constantly of emotional sectors.
00:11:12.159 --> 00:11:13.200
Is that the right word?
00:11:14.240 --> 00:11:24.960
It's just you're watching childhood disappear in real time while also becoming more aware that your own parents aren't frozen in time either.
00:11:26.240 --> 00:11:33.759
Meanwhile, you still have to get groceries and make dinner and change the laundry and make sure there's toilet paper in the house and the toothpaste.
00:11:33.840 --> 00:11:34.240
I don't know.
00:11:34.320 --> 00:11:40.879
Sometimes I think I get a little deep in a deep thinking space, and maybe that's where I'm at right now.
00:11:41.039 --> 00:11:43.039
So hopefully you're there with me.
00:11:43.200 --> 00:11:49.600
I did ask a bunch of moms how they were feeling about back to school, and nobody gave like one emotion.
00:11:50.159 --> 00:11:53.679
It was bittersweet, excited, sentimental, relieved.
00:11:53.919 --> 00:11:55.759
Where the hell did all the time go?
00:11:55.919 --> 00:11:58.720
And I think that's kind of the point.
00:11:59.519 --> 00:12:03.679
Back to school, it's like almost like a New Year's Eve.
00:12:03.840 --> 00:12:11.360
Not really, because it's not a new year, but it's definitely a new season, new schedules, new teachers, new routines, new versions of our kids.
00:12:11.519 --> 00:12:16.799
I know someone who took the first day back off from work so she could have the day to herself.
00:12:16.879 --> 00:12:20.720
And I thought, that's right you did, because you deserve that too.
00:12:21.039 --> 00:12:25.039
I usually always try to take inventory on how I want to feel this year.
00:12:25.120 --> 00:12:34.399
I guess I'm always taking inventory on how I feel, but not just what does everybody need for me or what do we need from the schedule, but what do I need?
00:12:34.799 --> 00:12:37.519
Where do I want to spend my time this fall?
00:12:37.759 --> 00:12:39.200
Who do I want around me?
00:12:39.360 --> 00:12:42.559
What do I want to start making harder than it needs to be?
00:12:42.960 --> 00:12:51.519
Because if you think about going back to school, we spend a lot of motherhood trying to build a community for our kids.
00:12:51.759 --> 00:12:58.960
We're going to like the playgrounds, we're going to the library, we're putting them on sports teams, school camps, whatever it is.
00:12:59.200 --> 00:13:06.879
And I do think that somewhere along the way, some of us forgot that us moms need a community too.
00:13:07.200 --> 00:13:12.080
Not just like the people we text on the daily, but actual people.
00:13:12.799 --> 00:13:20.399
Hearing someone say, oh my gosh, I thought that was just me is one of the most, is like the best thing you can hear as a mom.
00:13:20.559 --> 00:13:21.200
I swear.
00:13:21.279 --> 00:13:27.840
Like because sometimes I think we think we're the only ones that are worried about it, or our kids the only one that's struggling with this.
00:13:28.000 --> 00:13:34.159
And when you're able to come together and talk about it, it just makes you feel like more in a community.
00:13:34.399 --> 00:13:34.720
Okay.
00:13:34.799 --> 00:13:36.399
Like maybe this is just life.
00:13:36.559 --> 00:13:41.600
And I think that's the entire reason I started navigating between the lines anyway.
00:13:41.840 --> 00:13:47.840
I wanted somewhere to talk about the stuff that doesn't always fit neatly into a category.
00:13:48.080 --> 00:13:51.360
Motherhood, friendship, grief, getting older, marriage.
00:13:51.919 --> 00:14:06.799
We don't really talk about marriage here, but ambition, identity, that giant space between everything's great and everything is terrible, because most of us are usually living somewhere in the in-between on the daily.
00:14:07.120 --> 00:14:16.399
And I really believe that we're supposed to be talking about it together, which brings me to something that I've been thinking about this week.
00:14:17.039 --> 00:14:21.039
And I feel like I'm always getting together and having these catch-ups.
00:14:21.120 --> 00:14:26.399
But like, what if we did a little navigating between the lines community date on Friday?
00:14:26.720 --> 00:14:29.519
Tomorrow, it would be tomorrow, you guys.
00:14:29.600 --> 00:14:35.759
Like come after school drop-off if you're around, stay 20 minutes, whatever, show up in workout clothes.
00:14:35.919 --> 00:14:37.200
I can buy the donuts.
00:14:37.360 --> 00:14:40.879
You can just like bring your coffee if you want to hang out.
00:14:41.919 --> 00:14:44.080
So I think that's what I want to do.
00:14:44.559 --> 00:14:46.480
Damn me, like message me.
00:14:46.720 --> 00:14:47.600
Let's get together.
00:14:47.679 --> 00:14:50.960
Even if it's one person, it'll be amazing.
00:14:51.120 --> 00:14:56.720
I think I'm just going into this fall with my fifth and seventh graders.
00:14:57.039 --> 00:14:58.000
Insanity.
00:14:58.559 --> 00:15:08.000
And I definitely don't want to be another person telling somebody with younger kids, like, you're going to miss this because I know, you know, I know.
00:15:08.240 --> 00:15:13.120
I already miss versions of my kids who are standing right in front of me right now.
00:15:13.759 --> 00:15:16.320
That's what's been the most interesting.
00:15:16.480 --> 00:15:20.080
You can love where you are and still miss where you've been.
00:15:20.240 --> 00:15:26.320
You can be ready for school to start and also feel a little sick when you realize they're walking into another grade.
00:15:26.799 --> 00:15:34.080
You can be worried about your parents and annoyed that your kid left every cabinet open in the kitchen in the same five minute span.
00:15:34.320 --> 00:15:36.960
Apparently, this is 40.
00:15:37.039 --> 00:15:38.320
This is the 40 decade.
00:15:38.399 --> 00:15:39.519
I know it's supposed to be great.
00:15:39.600 --> 00:15:42.000
I think there's a lot of like feelings in there too.
00:15:42.159 --> 00:15:48.879
And I don't think the answer is figuring out how to carry it all better by ourselves, even though I love that trait.
00:15:49.120 --> 00:15:50.960
I started this podcasting.
00:15:51.039 --> 00:15:53.519
We should be talking about this stuff together.
00:15:53.759 --> 00:15:57.519
And now I'm sitting here thinking, okay, Maggie, then do that.
00:15:57.840 --> 00:16:08.159
So Friday morning, as I said, no networking, no name tags, just coffee if you're around you guys, because I think that's the whole point of this episode.
00:16:08.320 --> 00:16:11.440
We're all in some version of the middle right now.
00:16:11.919 --> 00:16:16.799
Different kids, different parents, different shit going on, but it's a whole lot of the same feelings.
00:16:16.960 --> 00:16:24.639
And I would much rather sit around a table and say, wait, that's you too, than pretending any of us have it all figured out.
00:16:24.799 --> 00:16:26.240
So that's what I'm gonna do.
00:16:26.399 --> 00:16:29.360
Come join me and we'll see where it goes.
00:16:29.519 --> 00:16:32.320
I will see you next week and happy back to school.
00:16:32.559 --> 00:16:33.039
You made it.
