WEBVTT
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How many of us need more space?
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For the things that bring us peace.
00:01:39.799 --> 00:01:42.650
What about the things that help us heal?
00:01:44.180 --> 00:01:48.890
Oftentimes that space just doesn't seem to be there.
00:01:50.390 --> 00:01:59.299
I used to speak on how one needed to devote time each day to meditation as though it is an easy thing to do.
00:02:00.980 --> 00:02:03.950
It was my actual job to meditate.
00:02:04.579 --> 00:02:06.829
So, of course I found time for it.
00:02:07.700 --> 00:02:14.300
Now that I have a demanding office job in addition to this one and a busy family life.
00:02:14.750 --> 00:02:20.389
I see just how hard it can be to claim 10 to 30 minutes a day.
00:02:21.980 --> 00:02:29.840
I am glad I know the benefits of doing so, because otherwise I'm not sure I would believe it is worth it or even possible.
00:02:31.039 --> 00:02:38.569
I'm also glad I know that a few short breaks in the day to get still and be mindful.
00:02:39.019 --> 00:02:41.090
Can create a ton of momentum.
00:02:44.699 --> 00:02:51.990
As I recognize that I have to claim time and space for meditation in my daily life.
00:02:52.500 --> 00:02:55.800
And see how forcing it will not work.
00:02:56.400 --> 00:03:02.430
It becomes clear that having grace for the apparent lack of space.
00:03:02.759 --> 00:03:04.379
Is the only way to create it.
00:03:05.129 --> 00:03:07.590
Well, Maybe not the only way.
00:03:08.519 --> 00:03:12.930
But the only way for me that will create lasting change.
00:03:14.280 --> 00:03:17.659
I'm glad my age and experience have brought patience.
00:03:18.209 --> 00:03:23.639
I can recognize that it may take time to carve out space in a way that truly works.
00:03:24.209 --> 00:03:28.980
And I can explore options until I find what feels right.
00:03:29.939 --> 00:03:34.409
The messy effort will eventually give way to a clean routine.
00:03:35.370 --> 00:03:37.349
I will find my way back.
00:03:38.129 --> 00:03:51.230
So for now, when I feel like I'm flailing around and trying to keep my head above water, maybe I can take a deep breath, kick my feet up, and remember that I can float.
00:03:53.310 --> 00:03:59.639
Right now, especially I see so many people stuck in the same state of overwhelm.
00:03:59.639 --> 00:04:01.019
I find myself in.
00:04:01.019 --> 00:04:04.649
We have all this information about what we need to be doing.
00:04:04.920 --> 00:04:07.920
And how, if we don't do the thing.
00:04:08.550 --> 00:04:11.730
It will cause ever lasting harm.
00:04:13.439 --> 00:04:14.550
Here's what I'm noticing.
00:04:15.269 --> 00:04:19.019
We are getting stuck in the information gathering stage.
00:04:20.009 --> 00:04:26.040
Whatever change we are thinking about making is unknown, or at least some part of the process is right.
00:04:26.129 --> 00:04:28.319
Otherwise we would know what to do.
00:04:28.709 --> 00:04:29.819
And it wouldn't be a thing.
00:04:30.629 --> 00:04:37.920
So we continue our search for information that will bridge the gap between unknown and known.
00:04:38.939 --> 00:04:42.750
Oftentimes, this search leads us to the internet.
00:04:43.529 --> 00:04:47.490
The digital world we are in is designed to keep us there.
00:04:49.259 --> 00:04:52.439
We end up spending our precious time scrolling.
00:04:53.100 --> 00:04:54.899
Gathering information.
00:04:55.930 --> 00:04:59.920
No judgment on the usefulness of that information.
00:05:00.769 --> 00:05:14.029
And then we look up and find that we don't have time to cook that new recipe or meal prep or meditate or take any action that will move us forward on this journey.
00:05:15.139 --> 00:05:16.879
We have gained no momentum.
00:05:17.509 --> 00:05:20.509
And it is really easy to get stuck.
00:05:28.329 --> 00:05:33.129
I'd like to share what I am doing to shift out of that cycle and create momentum.
00:05:33.819 --> 00:05:36.250
Maybe you can borrow from this plan.
00:05:36.550 --> 00:05:41.889
Or use it as a jumping off point to create the plan that is just right for you.
00:05:43.360 --> 00:05:52.870
My goal is meditation, because I know that I do so much better in all areas of my life when I am centered and balanced.
00:05:53.529 --> 00:05:54.339
So first.
00:05:54.339 --> 00:05:56.259
I identify my problem.
00:05:56.979 --> 00:05:59.500
I am not meditating regularly.
00:06:00.159 --> 00:06:00.610
Got it.
00:06:01.029 --> 00:06:05.439
Okay next, what should I be doing?
00:06:06.490 --> 00:06:07.959
This is a trick question.
00:06:08.620 --> 00:06:10.449
And it's important.
00:06:11.319 --> 00:06:16.870
What ideas do I have in my head about the right way to meditate.
00:06:17.529 --> 00:06:29.529
Do I feel pressure to sit cross-legged in pure silence every day for one hour, then collect, dew drops from the flowers in my garden.
00:06:29.769 --> 00:06:41.769
While I spend another hour of silence connecting with nature, grounding barefoot in the soil with my hands in the dirt, singing with the birds and the butterflies.
00:06:42.879 --> 00:06:44.979
Because, let me tell you something right now.
00:06:45.490 --> 00:06:48.250
That would be amazing.
00:06:49.199 --> 00:06:53.459
And that is completely unrealistic for my current life.
00:06:54.120 --> 00:06:55.500
But here's what I have done.
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I have acknowledged the quote perfect scenario.
00:07:01.409 --> 00:07:04.259
I have running as a background program in my head.
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I have acknowledged that I will not achieve that.
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And honestly, I have no desire to achieve that on a daily basis.
00:07:14.789 --> 00:07:20.759
So now I can identify what is an attainable goal for right now.
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I would love at least 30 consecutive minutes a week.
00:07:26.279 --> 00:07:33.029
I know that my schedule is too full right now to claim a 30 minutes space every day.
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But I can find a 30 minute block.
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Once a week.
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Will once a week cut it for me?
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Nope.
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Okay.
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So now we get granular.
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I know that my daily schedule is demanding.
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I know that at the very least, I need to claim a few minutes to center and clear my energy when I wake up and before I go to sleep.
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This is where habit stacking is huge.
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What do I do every morning already?
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I brushed my teeth.
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I put on my makeup.
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I get dressed.
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I take my supplements.
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I sleep as long as I can.
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And I have a pretty speedy morning routine.
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That's how I function best.
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I've tried waking up early and devoting time to meditation before I start my routine and I end up really, really resentful of the lost sleep, and completely unable to achieve the goal of centering my energy.
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That's who I am.
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I can honor that and love myself anyway.
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I can recognize that it may work for Mel Robbins and Jay Shetty.
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And that is just great for them.
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I'm not bad or broken because I'm not a morning person.
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Instead of getting stuck here because I'm not doing it the way someone else says I should.
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I work with how I know I operate best.
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I focus on what I already do and expand on that.
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I can hum while brushing my teeth.
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Focusing on the vibrations as they move through my body, setting an intention for those vibrations to release any stuck energy I may be holding.
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As I get dressed, I can call in protection and guidance for the rest of the day.
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As I take my supplements.
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I can say I choose health.
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I love this body.
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And set an intention to make choices throughout my day to support the healthy function of my body, mind and spirit.
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And then I can go about my day.
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Knowing I have claimed space for me.
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It wasn't much, but it was powerful.
00:10:01.960 --> 00:10:05.470
And I was completely present in those few minutes.
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At the end of the day, I find other ways of habit stacking.
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I really value a strong bedtime routine for my child so that she will get consistent sleep because when she does.
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I do.
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So that is the only part of the evening that is regular.
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A few years ago, I started a practice.
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We call angels and spirit guides.
00:10:32.980 --> 00:10:36.399
Because Ophelia was waking up scared in the middle of the night.
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And I'm not a nice mommy when I get woken up in the middle of the night.
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So after books and before bed, I say a prayer of protection for Ophelia with Ophelia.
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What started as a way to make her feel safe.
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Has turned into our family's most regular practice.
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We all sit together and I speak protection and love over the entire family.
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It takes about five minutes.
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I say almost the same thing every night.
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It is the time when we call back to us all the parts of ourselves we may have given away today.
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We lovingly return all the parts of others we may have taken on today.
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We clear our energy completely.
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We clear the energy of our house completely.
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We call in protection and love to wrap around each of us as we sleep deeply through the night.
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So that we may wake up rested and ready to have a wonderful day.
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In this five minute block of time.
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I prepare my little one to sleep soundly through the night.
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I meet my needs for centering and clearing my energy.
00:11:58.929 --> 00:12:02.139
Our family shares a very special time together.
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And we all have a chance to let go of the chaos of the day.
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Habit stacking at its finest.
00:12:10.919 --> 00:12:15.419
And now I have met my goal of meditating before bed.
00:12:16.019 --> 00:12:17.100
And after I wake up.
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I keep doing this daily.
00:12:22.110 --> 00:12:24.600
Until it just seems like everyday life.
00:12:25.419 --> 00:12:37.330
And at that point, I've built momentum to be able to claim the next five minute block of time to create space to bring more of what I need to be my best.
00:12:38.210 --> 00:12:39.470
Life will change.
00:12:39.710 --> 00:12:41.299
Schedules will change.
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I will have to make changes to this plan.
00:12:45.240 --> 00:12:50.250
You too will find ways to achieve your bite-sized goals.
00:12:50.699 --> 00:12:52.139
You will make progress.
00:12:52.919 --> 00:12:56.789
Inevitably something will come up and throw you off your game.
00:12:57.689 --> 00:12:59.220
You will have to regroup.
00:12:59.699 --> 00:13:02.220
And you will get to assess your situation.
00:13:03.139 --> 00:13:05.509
I encourage you to assess regularly.
00:13:06.509 --> 00:13:08.009
Is this working for me?
00:13:08.519 --> 00:13:11.759
Do I need more space for anything else?
00:13:12.569 --> 00:13:16.379
Do I feel like I should be doing something?
00:13:17.549 --> 00:13:18.960
Is that realistic?
00:13:20.189 --> 00:13:23.220
Do I need to make big changes in my life?
00:13:23.679 --> 00:13:25.960
How can I break down those big changes?
00:13:26.559 --> 00:13:34.029
So that I can make a series of small shifts until I gather enough momentum to achieve those goals?
00:13:35.139 --> 00:13:39.039
How can I start to carve out the time needed for all of this?
00:13:40.000 --> 00:13:43.960
And most importantly, how can I give myself grace?
00:13:44.799 --> 00:13:47.409
As I create that space.
00:13:50.110 --> 00:13:51.429
Here's what I've come up with.
00:13:52.659 --> 00:13:55.600
The more, I feel I need to do a thing.
00:13:56.350 --> 00:13:57.939
The less, I want to do the thing.
00:13:59.080 --> 00:14:05.080
Then I end up in a sticky situation because I know the doing of the thing will be good for me.
00:14:05.949 --> 00:14:09.939
I also know how futile it is to push.
00:14:10.899 --> 00:14:16.960
So once again, I sit with my new found patience I get cozy in the friction.
00:14:18.009 --> 00:14:20.199
Extending myself, grace.
00:14:20.710 --> 00:14:25.240
Until I can make the space for what I know is mine to do.
00:14:26.350 --> 00:14:28.600
Space and grace.
00:14:30.009 --> 00:14:31.149
They will both come.
00:14:32.439 --> 00:14:33.100
Grace.
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I've got and must remember to share.
00:14:36.789 --> 00:14:43.809
With others and with myself, Space will appear when I am ready.
00:14:44.919 --> 00:14:49.659
I must remember that just a little bit is beneficial.
00:14:50.289 --> 00:14:56.500
And that when I collect these bits, They turn into that pool of time I'm looking for.
00:14:58.379 --> 00:15:02.100
So what if we love ourselves into the changes we want to make?
00:15:02.879 --> 00:15:06.720
What if we love ourselves into eating better?
00:15:07.379 --> 00:15:08.279
Being present.
00:15:09.029 --> 00:15:10.049
Meditating.
00:15:10.949 --> 00:15:11.669
Living.
00:15:12.090 --> 00:15:12.689
Fully.
00:15:13.779 --> 00:15:16.210
What if we give ourselves grace?
00:15:16.899 --> 00:15:24.159
While we create this space to evolve into the best version of ourselves.
00:15:25.509 --> 00:15:27.340
And then we just keep doing that.
00:15:27.819 --> 00:15:28.960
Until we find.
00:15:29.529 --> 00:15:31.539
That we are right where we want to be.
00:15:32.980 --> 00:15:34.059
It is possible.
00:15:34.509 --> 00:15:36.340
And it is a goal that Is.
00:15:36.340 --> 00:15:37.840
worthy of our efforts.
00:15:39.080 --> 00:15:41.000
So dear listener.
00:15:41.899 --> 00:15:43.759
May your heart be filled with love.
00:15:44.779 --> 00:15:48.080
May you direct that love back to yourself.
00:15:49.429 --> 00:15:54.620
May you feel encouraged to be gentle with you as you change your life.
00:15:54.860 --> 00:15:56.809
One bite sized step.
00:15:57.110 --> 00:15:57.740
At a time.
00:15:58.429 --> 00:15:59.870
In a way that works for you.
00:16:01.189 --> 00:16:01.970
Because you.
00:16:01.970 --> 00:16:03.110
are wonderfully made.
00:16:05.000 --> 00:16:12.409
May you honor, that you are a unique being and get curious about how to work with that.
00:16:13.639 --> 00:16:17.600
Instead of trying to fit into a mold made by someone else.
00:16:19.549 --> 00:16:20.779
When you do this.
00:16:21.860 --> 00:16:23.000
I have a feeling.
00:16:24.289 --> 00:16:28.879
That light inside you will shine brighter than ever before.
00:16:30.069 --> 00:16:31.120
And that light.
00:16:31.629 --> 00:16:32.259
My friend.
00:16:32.980 --> 00:16:35.679
Is what makes the world a better place.
00:01:33.890 --> 00:01:36.680
How many of us need more space?
00:01:36.980 --> 00:01:38.900
For the things that bring us peace.
00:01:39.799 --> 00:01:42.650
What about the things that help us heal?
00:01:44.180 --> 00:01:48.890
Oftentimes that space just doesn't seem to be there.
00:01:50.390 --> 00:01:59.299
I used to speak on how one needed to devote time each day to meditation as though it is an easy thing to do.
00:02:00.980 --> 00:02:03.950
It was my actual job to meditate.
00:02:04.579 --> 00:02:06.829
So, of course I found time for it.
00:02:07.700 --> 00:02:14.300
Now that I have a demanding office job in addition to this one and a busy family life.
00:02:14.750 --> 00:02:20.389
I see just how hard it can be to claim 10 to 30 minutes a day.
00:02:21.980 --> 00:02:29.840
I am glad I know the benefits of doing so, because otherwise I'm not sure I would believe it is worth it or even possible.
00:02:31.039 --> 00:02:38.569
I'm also glad I know that a few short breaks in the day to get still and be mindful.
00:02:39.019 --> 00:02:41.090
Can create a ton of momentum.
00:02:44.699 --> 00:02:51.990
As I recognize that I have to claim time and space for meditation in my daily life.
00:02:52.500 --> 00:02:55.800
And see how forcing it will not work.
00:02:56.400 --> 00:03:02.430
It becomes clear that having grace for the apparent lack of space.
00:03:02.759 --> 00:03:04.379
Is the only way to create it.
00:03:05.129 --> 00:03:07.590
Well, Maybe not the only way.
00:03:08.519 --> 00:03:12.930
But the only way for me that will create lasting change.
00:03:14.280 --> 00:03:17.659
I'm glad my age and experience have brought patience.
00:03:18.209 --> 00:03:23.639
I can recognize that it may take time to carve out space in a way that truly works.
00:03:24.209 --> 00:03:28.980
And I can explore options until I find what feels right.
00:03:29.939 --> 00:03:34.409
The messy effort will eventually give way to a clean routine.
00:03:35.370 --> 00:03:37.349
I will find my way back.
00:03:38.129 --> 00:03:51.230
So for now, when I feel like I'm flailing around and trying to keep my head above water, maybe I can take a deep breath, kick my feet up, and remember that I can float.
00:03:53.310 --> 00:03:59.639
Right now, especially I see so many people stuck in the same state of overwhelm.
00:03:59.639 --> 00:04:01.019
I find myself in.
00:04:01.019 --> 00:04:04.649
We have all this information about what we need to be doing.
00:04:04.920 --> 00:04:07.920
And how, if we don't do the thing.
00:04:08.550 --> 00:04:11.730
It will cause ever lasting harm.
00:04:13.439 --> 00:04:14.550
Here's what I'm noticing.
00:04:15.269 --> 00:04:19.019
We are getting stuck in the information gathering stage.
00:04:20.009 --> 00:04:26.040
Whatever change we are thinking about making is unknown, or at least some part of the process is right.
00:04:26.129 --> 00:04:28.319
Otherwise we would know what to do.
00:04:28.709 --> 00:04:29.819
And it wouldn't be a thing.
00:04:30.629 --> 00:04:37.920
So we continue our search for information that will bridge the gap between unknown and known.
00:04:38.939 --> 00:04:42.750
Oftentimes, this search leads us to the internet.
00:04:43.529 --> 00:04:47.490
The digital world we are in is designed to keep us there.
00:04:49.259 --> 00:04:52.439
We end up spending our precious time scrolling.
00:04:53.100 --> 00:04:54.899
Gathering information.
00:04:55.930 --> 00:04:59.920
No judgment on the usefulness of that information.
00:05:00.769 --> 00:05:14.029
And then we look up and find that we don't have time to cook that new recipe or meal prep or meditate or take any action that will move us forward on this journey.
00:05:15.139 --> 00:05:16.879
We have gained no momentum.
00:05:17.509 --> 00:05:20.509
And it is really easy to get stuck.
00:05:28.329 --> 00:05:33.129
I'd like to share what I am doing to shift out of that cycle and create momentum.
00:05:33.819 --> 00:05:36.250
Maybe you can borrow from this plan.
00:05:36.550 --> 00:05:41.889
Or use it as a jumping off point to create the plan that is just right for you.
00:05:43.360 --> 00:05:52.870
My goal is meditation, because I know that I do so much better in all areas of my life when I am centered and balanced.
00:05:53.529 --> 00:05:54.339
So first.
00:05:54.339 --> 00:05:56.259
I identify my problem.
00:05:56.979 --> 00:05:59.500
I am not meditating regularly.
00:06:00.159 --> 00:06:00.610
Got it.
00:06:01.029 --> 00:06:05.439
Okay next, what should I be doing?
00:06:06.490 --> 00:06:07.959
This is a trick question.
00:06:08.620 --> 00:06:10.449
And it's important.
00:06:11.319 --> 00:06:16.870
What ideas do I have in my head about the right way to meditate.
00:06:17.529 --> 00:06:29.529
Do I feel pressure to sit cross-legged in pure silence every day for one hour, then collect, dew drops from the flowers in my garden.
00:06:29.769 --> 00:06:41.769
While I spend another hour of silence connecting with nature, grounding barefoot in the soil with my hands in the dirt, singing with the birds and the butterflies.
00:06:42.879 --> 00:06:44.979
Because, let me tell you something right now.
00:06:45.490 --> 00:06:48.250
That would be amazing.
00:06:49.199 --> 00:06:53.459
And that is completely unrealistic for my current life.
00:06:54.120 --> 00:06:55.500
But here's what I have done.
00:06:56.009 --> 00:07:00.899
I have acknowledged the quote perfect scenario.
00:07:01.409 --> 00:07:04.259
I have running as a background program in my head.
00:07:04.979 --> 00:07:08.669
I have acknowledged that I will not achieve that.
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And honestly, I have no desire to achieve that on a daily basis.
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So now I can identify what is an attainable goal for right now.
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I would love at least 30 consecutive minutes a week.
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I know that my schedule is too full right now to claim a 30 minutes space every day.
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But I can find a 30 minute block.
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Once a week.
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Will once a week cut it for me?
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Nope.
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Okay.
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So now we get granular.
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I know that my daily schedule is demanding.
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I know that at the very least, I need to claim a few minutes to center and clear my energy when I wake up and before I go to sleep.
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This is where habit stacking is huge.
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What do I do every morning already?
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I brushed my teeth.
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I put on my makeup.
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I get dressed.
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I take my supplements.
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I sleep as long as I can.
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And I have a pretty speedy morning routine.
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That's how I function best.
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I've tried waking up early and devoting time to meditation before I start my routine and I end up really, really resentful of the lost sleep, and completely unable to achieve the goal of centering my energy.
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That's who I am.
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I can honor that and love myself anyway.
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I can recognize that it may work for Mel Robbins and Jay Shetty.
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And that is just great for them.
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I'm not bad or broken because I'm not a morning person.
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Instead of getting stuck here because I'm not doing it the way someone else says I should.
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I work with how I know I operate best.
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I focus on what I already do and expand on that.
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I can hum while brushing my teeth.
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Focusing on the vibrations as they move through my body, setting an intention for those vibrations to release any stuck energy I may be holding.
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As I get dressed, I can call in protection and guidance for the rest of the day.
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As I take my supplements.
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I can say I choose health.
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I love this body.
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And set an intention to make choices throughout my day to support the healthy function of my body, mind and spirit.
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And then I can go about my day.
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Knowing I have claimed space for me.
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It wasn't much, but it was powerful.
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And I was completely present in those few minutes.
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At the end of the day, I find other ways of habit stacking.
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I really value a strong bedtime routine for my child so that she will get consistent sleep because when she does.
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I do.
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So that is the only part of the evening that is regular.
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A few years ago, I started a practice.
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We call angels and spirit guides.
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Because Ophelia was waking up scared in the middle of the night.
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And I'm not a nice mommy when I get woken up in the middle of the night.
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So after books and before bed, I say a prayer of protection for Ophelia with Ophelia.
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What started as a way to make her feel safe.
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Has turned into our family's most regular practice.
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We all sit together and I speak protection and love over the entire family.
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It takes about five minutes.
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I say almost the same thing every night.
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It is the time when we call back to us all the parts of ourselves we may have given away today.
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We lovingly return all the parts of others we may have taken on today.
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We clear our energy completely.
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We clear the energy of our house completely.
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We call in protection and love to wrap around each of us as we sleep deeply through the night.
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So that we may wake up rested and ready to have a wonderful day.
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In this five minute block of time.
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I prepare my little one to sleep soundly through the night.
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I meet my needs for centering and clearing my energy.
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Our family shares a very special time together.
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And we all have a chance to let go of the chaos of the day.
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Habit stacking at its finest.
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And now I have met my goal of meditating before bed.
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And after I wake up.
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I keep doing this daily.
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Until it just seems like everyday life.
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And at that point, I've built momentum to be able to claim the next five minute block of time to create space to bring more of what I need to be my best.
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Life will change.
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Schedules will change.
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I will have to make changes to this plan.
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You too will find ways to achieve your bite-sized goals.
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You will make progress.
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Inevitably something will come up and throw you off your game.
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You will have to regroup.
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And you will get to assess your situation.
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I encourage you to assess regularly.
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Is this working for me?
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Do I need more space for anything else?
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Do I feel like I should be doing something?
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Is that realistic?
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Do I need to make big changes in my life?
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How can I break down those big changes?
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So that I can make a series of small shifts until I gather enough momentum to achieve those goals?
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How can I start to carve out the time needed for all of this?
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And most importantly, how can I give myself grace?
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As I create that space.
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Here's what I've come up with.
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The more, I feel I need to do a thing.
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The less, I want to do the thing.
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Then I end up in a sticky situation because I know the doing of the thing will be good for me.
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I also know how futile it is to push.
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So once again, I sit with my new found patience I get cozy in the friction.
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Extending myself, grace.
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Until I can make the space for what I know is mine to do.
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Space and grace.
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They will both come.
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Grace.
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I've got and must remember to share.
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With others and with myself, Space will appear when I am ready.
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I must remember that just a little bit is beneficial.
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And that when I collect these bits, They turn into that pool of time I'm looking for.
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So what if we love ourselves into the changes we want to make?
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What if we love ourselves into eating better?
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Being present.
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Meditating.
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Living.
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Fully.
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What if we give ourselves grace?
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While we create this space to evolve into the best version of ourselves.
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And then we just keep doing that.
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Until we find.
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That we are right where we want to be.
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It is possible.
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And it is a goal that Is.
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worthy of our efforts.
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So dear listener.
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May your heart be filled with love.
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May you direct that love back to yourself.
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May you feel encouraged to be gentle with you as you change your life.
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One bite sized step.
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At a time.
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In a way that works for you.
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Because you.
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are wonderfully made.
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May you honor, that you are a unique being and get curious about how to work with that.
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Instead of trying to fit into a mold made by someone else.
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When you do this.
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I have a feeling.
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That light inside you will shine brighter than ever before.
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And that light.
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My friend.
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Is what makes the world a better place.
