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So before you quit, before you go backward, ask yourself this one question.
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Is this pain asking me to leave, or is this discomfort asking me to grow?
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There is a big freaking difference.
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And learning what that difference is, that will absolutely change your life.
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Welcome back to Mojo and Co.
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Podcast.
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I'm Katie Police.
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And I'm Dustin Fleest.
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People reach this stage of life and start believing their best years or somehow.
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And we don't believe that at all.
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It's about becoming the strongest, healthiest, most confident version of who you are now.
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Because the goal isn't about just adding more years to your life, it's about adding light to those years.
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Because you're not done yet.
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Welcome to Mojo and Co.
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Now let's dive in.
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Welcome back to another episode of the Mojo and Co.
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podcast.
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Um, I want to talk about something today that I've actually been thinking a lot about, and it's this hard doesn't mean bad.
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And I think somewhere along the way, we started believing that if it's hard, if we're uncomfortable, if we're uncertain, then something must be wrong.
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You know, maybe this isn't meant for me.
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Maybe I made the wrong decision.
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Maybe I should stop.
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Maybe I should go back to doing what I was before.
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And I just simply don't believe that because I know personally some of the absolute best decisions that I've ever made in my life have also been some of the hardest.
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And some of the things that I'm most proud of required me to spend a long period of time being uncomfortable.
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So today I want to talk about the difference between, you know, something being hard because it's wrong for you, and something being hard because it's actually just requiring you to grow.
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Because those are two very different things.
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And if every time life gets uncomfortable, life got hard, like you assume that that's your cue to quit, you're gonna be quitting on a lot of things that actually could have completely changed your life.
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We live in a world where we have just become obsessed with making things easier, making everything easier, right?
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It's supposed to be easier, it's supposed to be faster, it's supposed to be, you know, more convenient, um, less uncomfortable.
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And it's crazy to think about, right?
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I mean, I even think even when my husband and I were first married, which was like 20 years ago, oh my gosh, but we didn't have the convenience that we have today.
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We didn't have DoorDash, we didn't have Amazon Prime.
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Well, at least I don't think we did.
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I I didn't belong to it anyway.
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But but the more, you know, the more time goes on, the more we can literally have anything at our doorstep, like by the next day at the latest.
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And and don't misunderstand me because like I love convenience, right?
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I'm I'm like not trying to churn my own butter over here.
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All right.
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But I do think that that mentality has started bleeding into parts of our lives where it just simply doesn't belong.
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Like there are some things that you cannot Amazon prime your way through.
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Like you cannot shortcut discipline, you cannot shortcut building confidence, you cannot shortcut building a business, you cannot shortcut um, you know, repairing a relationship.
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You cannot shortcut building a body, you cannot shortcut becoming someone who keeps promises to herself.
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Some things are going to require you to sit in that discomfort for a little while, all right?
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But that's not necessarily a problem.
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And that's the whole point.
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I think one of the hardest things for successful women, especially, is the concept of being a beginner.
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Like we hate being bad at things.
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I mean, think about it.
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Like, you're used to being the person who knows what she's doing.
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You're used to running the meeting, leading the team, building the business, knowing how to do whatever it may be, like being an expert in your craft.
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Like you know how to solve the problem, you know how to take care of everybody else, you know how to get shit done.
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Okay.
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And so when you suddenly step into something new, it sucks, right?
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You have no freaking idea what you're doing.
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And that is a weird feeling and a very humbling one at that, right?
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Maybe it's you start a new business, maybe you take a new position, maybe you start creating content, maybe you decide to completely change the direction of your life, but suddenly you're a beginner again.
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And being a beginner feels really hard.
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And being bad at something in the beginning also is really hard.
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But it doesn't mean that you're bad at it.
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It just means that you're in the beginning.
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And those are not the same thing, right?
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You were not supposed to have the confidence yet.
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Confidence comes after you have the evidence.
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It comes after you do the scary thing.
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And then you realize, oh my gosh, I survived.
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And then you do it again and you get a little better.
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And then guess what?
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You do it again and you get even better, right?
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And eventually you look around and you're like, holy shit, I know what I'm doing, you know?
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But you never get there if you quit during the part when it's hard.
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Not everything you don't like doing is a sign that you shouldn't do it.
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Okay.
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Sometimes the reality is you just don't freaking feel like doing it.
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That's it.
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There's not a deeper meeting, right?
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You're just tired.
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You're busy.
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You'd rather sit on the couch, you'd rather order the food, you'd rather skip the workout, you'd rather, you know, put off the uncomfortable conversation, you'd rather start January 1st.
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Like motivation has somehow become this thing that people think they need before they take action.
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And you know as well as I do, I don't care who's listening to this, but motivation is unreliable.
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I think we can all agree on that, right?
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There's a lot of things in my life that I have built that I absolutely would not have built if I had waited until I was motivated, until it, until I felt like doing the work.
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Fitness or my body is probably the easiest example, right?
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Like people look at someone who has been consistent for years, decades, and think, ah, well, she probably loves working out.
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Or, ah, well, that's what she does for a living, you know.
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I'm here to tell you, sometimes I do like working out.
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Sometimes it's the worst, right?
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Sometimes I sit in my car and I negotiate with myself like for 10 minutes before even stepping foot into the gym, thinking, oh, surely something else needs my attention right now.
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Like sometimes discipline is just saying, you know what?
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I actually don't want to do this thing, but I said I would.
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That's it.
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And there is something incredibly powerful about becoming a woman who trusts herself.
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Because when you repeatedly do what you say you're going to do, guess what?
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You start building that evidence.
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You start building that belief in yourself.
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Now I want to talk about the hard of starting over because I know a lot of you listening to this maybe feel maybe you feel like you're in that season, or you know, you're in midlife and you're thinking there's no possible way I could start over.
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But I just know that what I'm doing currently is just, it's not for me anymore.
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And I will say this I've been there and there are few things scarier than pivoting or walking away from something that you've invested so much time, energy, money, years of your life, your identity into.
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Starting over can feel like failure.
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Like you think, you know, what are people gonna think of me?
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Did I waste all of that time?
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Should I just stick it out and suck it up?
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You know, maybe I can make this work.
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Even though I don't love it, maybe I can make it work.
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And sometimes you can, but sometimes you also have to be willing to admit that something that was once right for you is just simply not right for you anymore.
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And that doesn't mean the entire chapter was a mistake.
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Like it just simply means that the chapter has ended.
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I also think we underestimate the courage, the amount of courage it takes to start over when staying would be easier.
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Staying might be sucky, but humans love certainty.
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And pivoting can feel very uncertain at times, right?
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Even shitty circumstances can sometimes feel safer than the unknown.
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Like at least you know what to expect.
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But sometimes the life you want is also sitting on the other side of being willing to say, like, I don't know exactly how this is going to work out, but I know that I cannot stay here any longer.
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And that is a very different kind of hard.
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The life you want is going to inconvenience you.
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Okay.
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Everybody wants the outcome.
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I've been in the health and fitness industry for over two decades, and I promise you, there is a lot of people that want the outcome.
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They want the body, they want the result, they want the weight loss, they want the six-pack abs.
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They want the defined shoulders, they want the confidence that comes from wearing a strapless dress and feeling like a smoke show.
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You know what I'm saying?
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They want the confidence, they want the money, the freedom, the relationship, the peace, whatever your thing is.
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But the life that you want is probably going to inconvenience you.
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That might mean you might have to wake up a little earlier.
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You might have to say no to certain things.
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You might have to stop spending money on something so you can invest it somewhere else.
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You might have to eat differently.
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You might have to train when you don't feel like training.
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You might have to train when your schedule is busy.
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You might have to have a conversation that you've been avoiding for six months.
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You might have to admit that you are part of the problem.
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I know that's hard to hear.
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Like nobody likes it when I say that.
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But it's true, you know, you might have to look in the mirror.
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You might have to stop blaming your circumstances and actually take responsibility for what happens next.
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And I think sometimes we want transformation without disruption.
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We want our lives to change without actually changing our lives.
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It doesn't work that way, my friend.
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It does not work that way.
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Like you cannot ask for a completely different result while being unwilling to do anything differently.
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And this brings me to something that I think a lot of people need to hear.
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Um, but maybe you don't need motivation.
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Maybe you don't need another motivational video.
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Maybe you don't need another podcast.
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Maybe you don't need another life planning session.
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Maybe you don't need another fresh start in January.
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Maybe what you actually need is a higher tolerance for discomfort.
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You can spend your entire life trying to engineer a situation where changing feels easy.
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You also might be waiting forever.
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Like sometimes you have to do it scared.
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Sometimes you have to do it tired.
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Sometimes you have to do it before you have the confidence.
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Sometimes you have to do it while other people disagree with you.
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Sometimes you have to do it while people are gonna talk behind your back.
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Sometimes you have to do it without knowing exactly how everything is going to turn out.
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That doesn't mean you're reckless, it just means that you're willing to move before every variable is perfectly controlled, you know?
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That's where some of the biggest changes in our lives happen.
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So before I close this out, I just want to say this.
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If you are in a hard season right now, which I'm sure a lot of you are, and and by the way, I'm in one right now.
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I'm in a hard season.
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I don't want your immediate reaction to be like, how do I make this stop?
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Get curious.
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Like, ask yourself, what is this season requiring from me?
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What am I learning here?
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What part of me is being stretched?
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What do I, you know, maybe need to stop tolerating?
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What do I need to start actually doing?
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What decision do I already know I need to make?
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And most importantly, I want you to ask yourself this like, is this hard because it's wrong for me?
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Or is this hard because it's just requiring me to become someone I've never had to be before?
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Hard doesn't mean bad.
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Hard doesn't mean you failed.
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Hard doesn't mean you chose wrong.
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Hard doesn't mean that you're incapable.
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Sometimes hard is just hard and that's it.
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And you can handle hard things, but more than that, you can learn to stop being so afraid of those things.
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The goal is not to build a life where nothing is ever difficult.
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The goal is to build yourself into a woman who doesn't run or quit the second it is difficult.
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So maybe the season you're wanting to get out of is actually building the exact version of you you're going to need for whatever comes next.
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And that is really exciting to think about.
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So before you quit, before you go backward, before you convince yourself like this must not be meant for me, you know, because it's not easy, ask yourself this one question.
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Is this pain asking me to leave, or is this discomfort asking me to grow?
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There is a big freaking difference.
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And learning what that difference is, that will absolutely change your life.
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That's all for today.
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I will see you guys next week.
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Bye bye.