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Hello.
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Hello.
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Welcome to mindset to results.
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Today, our guest is Ryan Christensen.
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He is hypnotherapist.
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And we will speak about important topic today,
how limiting beliefs hold us back and prevent
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our success.
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Hi, Ryan.
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Hey.
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It's great to be here.
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Thank you for having me on.
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You're most welcome.
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Let's speak about this important topic, how we
can help driven business owners and
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entrepreneurs achieve their audacious goals by
understanding how they can replace their
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beliefs, which limit them from the class.
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Outstanding.
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Outstanding.
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Yeah.
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One thing to really remember about everything
is that the your unconscious mind is really
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there to interpret the world for you, kinda
filter it, and create a the reality that you
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experience.
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Right?
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There's a set of, experiments in Germany in the
nineteen seventies that pretty much prove that
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we become aware of something about it happens a
second after it happens.
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Right?
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And what your mind is doing during that time is
trying to figure out what's going on in the
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world and what it means.
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So what you believe, the meaning you assign to
different things in your life, determine how
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your mind reacts to it.
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K?
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So these limiting beliefs really shape your
reality.
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Right?
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It shows you what opportunities that it decides
to give you, what opportunities are off the
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table.
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Right?
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And also is the thing that drives your
emotional response.
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These emotional responses we have are created
by what things mean.
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Right?
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If you go out and try and, get new client,
right, and the client rejects you, says no.
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Well, if you've got a really high opinion of
yourself, you know, you're good enough.
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You you've got, you're on point, something and
so on.
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So, okay, fair enough.
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Not a good fit.
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Not the right time.
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Whatever that happens to be.
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But if you got a negative opinion of yourself,
right, if you don't think you're good enough,
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you think there's something wrong with you, if
you're trying to prove something to yourself,
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well, then that's an indication, that's proof
that you're not good enough.
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Right?
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So it tends to push that button.
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Right?
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So a lot of the things that we hold ourselves
back from are ways to keep us from having to
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deal with and having to experience emotional
pain.
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Yes.
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Yes.
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So true.
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And, usually, limiting beliefs also tell people
determine what they can believe that is
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possible for themselves.
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As in most people are conditioned to think,
small.
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When they think about goals, they just,
logically want to, allow themselves to think
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about what they can do.
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Yes.
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What they did in the past and what they think
that they can do.
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And this is how people usually limit
themselves.
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And when they set small goals, it also it also
doesn't help them to grow because small goals
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don't push them outside of outside of them
their comfort zone.
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And also, they don't have that, fire within
them with the tension to be able and to be
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ready to break through barriers, which way they
meet.
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So let's think about this.
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If we yes.
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If they want to really set big goal, how
important to question their beliefs and how too
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important to change beliefs to start seeing
yourself as that person already?
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Yeah.
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That's a really interesting topic, Anne.
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I think there's a few different things that we
can look at here that are really important.
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First of all, people have set small goals
because we don't really allow ourselves to have
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things that we don't deserve.
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Right?
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If you feel like you don't deserve that big
goal, if you feel like you don't deserve that
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big one, it's not about, oh, I can only
accomplish as much.
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It's that I don't deserve to play at that
level.
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I don't deserve to have that kind of big goal.
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So it's really around deservedness rather than
capability.
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And deservedness is all about value in your
opinion of yourself.
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A lot of people try to raise their value, raise
their opinion themselves by trying to succeed.
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Right?
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If I succeed, if I make this amount of money,
then I prove to myself I'm good enough.
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You know, I prove to myself so forth and so on.
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And that's what drives a lot of people is that
fear that they're not good enough.
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So you see this a lot in entrepreneurs and
business owners.
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It's kind of insecurity being manifested as
further, harder, bigger, more.
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Right?
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They tend to be on this treadmill where, like,
nothing they accomplish is enough, And they're
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only doing things where they got kinda like
point points to the scoreboard.
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Right?
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They've got a a scoreboard the way they're
keeping track, and the only thing they really
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do is put points on that scoreboard.
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And that's a form of insecurity as well.
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It's a trap as well.
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The people who are playing small, they don't
feel like they can get that big thing because
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it's too dangerous for them.
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It's too painful.
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Right?
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If they go out there, they take that shot, if
they if they go big and they fail, well, that
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proves they're not good enough to prove all
these negative things they're thinking about
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themselves.
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So it's safer just not to try.
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The way out of that trap is to make where
you're at more painful.
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Right?
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You're being boxed in by pain.
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You're being boxed in by fear.
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So you have to make your current situation more
painful.
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And then one of the easiest ways to do that is
things like, okay, this big thing is really
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what I want.
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Right?
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This big thing, this big change, this, this new
job, whatever that happens to be, this big goal
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is really what I want.
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And not having this right now, not being this
right now is so painful for me and so utterly
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intolerable that I have to move.
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Right?
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So it's using that pain as the driving force to
push you out of that.
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It creates that drive.
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It creates that ambition because you have to
get out of this current cage because that
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current cage is too too, too painful to be in.
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Right?
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So it's using that fear and pain as a positive
force to push you forward.
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But fundamentally, in every case, you gotta
address that underlying insecurity, that
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underlying, negative view of yourself in order
to really be able to play big.
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Yes.
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We spoke about what can help them to set big
goals.
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And now let's think about the opposite side.
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When they set big goals and then they neglect
themselves.
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They
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Mhmm.
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All their time for, their efforts to do
something for Mhmm.
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Family, for their business, and they forget
about themselves.
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They can sit in one chair for twelve hours
doing one task after another, and maybe even
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forget if they missed the lunch or dinner.
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Mhmm.
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So, how also here their limiting beliefs, why
they put themselves last?
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Instead, we know if we want to be successful,
we have to put ourselves first.
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So let's speak
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about it.
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In my book, I wrote the book winner piece, How
to End in a Conflict and Make Success
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Inevitable.
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Kind of like help people overcome all these
issues in both cases, and there's two traps we
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get into.
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The first one is we just the one we just talked
about first, which is the cage.
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Right?
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You're boxed in by pain.
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You're boxed in by fear.
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You can't really take, you know, picnic moves.
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Right?
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Your things are okay.
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Things are fine.
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The lights are on.
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Food's on the table.
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Roof overhead.
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Bills are paid.
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But you know you're playing small.
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You're living in relative mediocrity.
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You're here, and you know you should be here.
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That's where you need to use that pain to get
yourself out of the cage, to get yourself
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moving, to start making those big changes so
that you can create space to do that in your
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work.
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Somebody who's always, always on the go, always
working, always on the grind, neglecting
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themselves, their family, their life gets
really, really narrow, they're on something I
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call the treadmill.
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Okay?
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They've got this Batman origin story.
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Right?
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They've got this, you know, situation that was
bad when they were young or whatever it was,
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but they found a way up.
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For entrepreneurs, that's business, that's
success, that's academics.
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Right?
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And so they say, uh-huh.
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All you need to do is just keep doing this, and
I'm gonna stay away from that.
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Right?
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And the trouble is or the difficult thing is
the tricky thing about this trap is that you're
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doing what you wanna do.
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You're doing something you're good at, and
you're getting rewarded for it.
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You're getting rewarded very well.
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In fact, everybody's saying, man, you're
awesome.
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This is amazing.
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How can I be you?
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Right?
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How can I do what you're doing?
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So all the external rewards, everything in the
message from the outside world is like you're
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doing it exactly right.
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And you can tell that you're in the trap when
you can't take your foot off the gas, when you
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can't slow down.
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Because when you slow down, all those little
demons and all those little dark thoughts and
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everything else kind of come up to bite you, so
you gotta keep running.
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And what happens is as you keep moving and
you're realizing it's not working for you,
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right, you actually start doing it more.
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Because you only got one tool in the toolbox
and that's succeed, succeed, succeed.
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And so you sacrifice everything else to make
that treadmill run faster to keep those demons
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from catching up.
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Right?
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The way you need to do it, take a look there is
like you kinda need to just, like, take a look
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take a step back and look at your life as a
whole.
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Is it actually working?
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Is this one thing you're doing the only thing
that's working in your life?
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Because if so, you're not really living.
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Ask yourself, if I took a week off, how would I
feel?
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If it scares the crap out of you to take a week
off or two weeks off for a month, and you're
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like, oh my god.
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I can't possibly do that.
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Okay.
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Then maybe what you're doing isn't really a
choice.
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Right?
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If you can't say no, it's not really a choice.
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It's a compulsion.
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Right?
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And that's a good sign.
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Like, okay, I need to take a I need to take a
look at what's going on and why and figure out
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what's driving me, what these fears are that I
keep running from and fix those.
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Because once you fix those, then you can put
yourself first, then you can take care of
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yourself and your family.
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Right?
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And a lot of ways, we don't let ourselves do
that because we feel like we don't deserve to
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because we haven't succeeded enough yet.
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That score in our scoreboard isn't high enough
yet.
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Right?
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But for some reason, that score is never
enough.
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Right?
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We can't put ourselves first until we recognize
the trap we're in and take care of whatever
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fear, whatever the pain is that we're running
from.
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Then and only then we'll be able to step back
and live that bigger life.
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Yes.
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Yes.
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And, if people don't put themselves first, that
run can be not long run.
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Yes.
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And Yeah.
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There are so many people who get, heart attacks
in fifties.
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Yes.
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And Yes.
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Now is, very common.
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And, people don't think that it can happen with
them.
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They think that they have some people live,
like, they have 5,000 agreement.
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Yeah.
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And and they think that it can happen with
everyone, but not with me.
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Yes.
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Yeah.
245
00:10:26,664 --> 00:10:36,825
It's such like, I would say, not not getting as
it is real as we have these resources, which is
246
00:10:36,825 --> 00:10:38,024
our body physical.
247
00:10:38,024 --> 00:10:39,899
We have physical resources.
248
00:10:40,120 --> 00:10:48,940
And if we don't care about ourselves, these
resources can be, not maybe enough.
249
00:10:49,160 --> 00:10:49,480
Yes.
250
00:10:49,480 --> 00:10:51,660
For us with our big goal.
251
00:10:52,115 --> 00:10:54,514
So it is all good to put yourself first.
252
00:10:54,514 --> 00:10:59,174
And of course, you only can put yourself first
when you believe that you're worthy.
253
00:10:59,475 --> 00:10:59,794
Yes.
254
00:10:59,794 --> 00:11:00,995
That you love yourself.
255
00:11:00,995 --> 00:11:01,815
You're worthy.
256
00:11:02,274 --> 00:11:08,429
And also, when people love themselves, they
respect themselves, it will affect how they
257
00:11:08,429 --> 00:11:19,815
deal with other people because other people if
you towards, us is our attitude towards
258
00:11:19,875 --> 00:11:21,735
ourselves, and it is reflection.
259
00:11:22,034 --> 00:11:22,274
Yeah.
260
00:11:22,274 --> 00:11:23,355
How people Mhmm.
261
00:11:23,554 --> 00:11:24,674
Think about themselves.
262
00:11:24,674 --> 00:11:27,334
This is what they project on others.
263
00:11:28,034 --> 00:11:29,254
And, Yeah.
264
00:11:29,475 --> 00:11:35,409
We can meet people who just enter the room, and
we can see, wow, this is such interesting
265
00:11:35,409 --> 00:11:36,690
person because Mhmm.
266
00:11:36,690 --> 00:11:36,809
Yeah.
267
00:11:36,929 --> 00:11:44,289
In the room with that confidence, with smile,
with that, great energy, and everyone can feel
268
00:11:44,289 --> 00:11:45,889
that energy and just look at this.
269
00:11:45,889 --> 00:11:50,134
What is it interesting about that person even
without speaking with them?
270
00:11:50,995 --> 00:11:51,075
Yes.
271
00:11:51,075 --> 00:11:59,875
And on the contrary, another person who wants
to be maybe judged or, told in the his
272
00:11:59,875 --> 00:12:03,095
childhood that he is not enough, that he will
not be good.
273
00:12:04,089 --> 00:12:06,830
He has that belief that he is not good.
274
00:12:07,129 --> 00:12:11,450
And whatever he he does, he brings that energy
with him.
275
00:12:11,450 --> 00:12:12,529
And so when Yeah.
276
00:12:12,809 --> 00:12:15,945
Person comes in the room, he usually comes like
this.
277
00:12:16,585 --> 00:12:16,904
Yes.
278
00:12:16,904 --> 00:12:20,285
And other people also can say, oh, who is this?
279
00:12:20,504 --> 00:12:21,004
Yes.
280
00:12:21,384 --> 00:12:22,445
What this person?
281
00:12:23,065 --> 00:12:24,285
Does he need help?
282
00:12:24,985 --> 00:12:32,190
And so it communication happens in this
nonverbal way, how subconscious communicate,
283
00:12:32,889 --> 00:12:34,110
and that is important.
284
00:12:34,250 --> 00:12:34,569
Yes.
285
00:12:34,569 --> 00:12:40,250
So if we really want to be successful, we'll
have to love ourselves, respect ourselves, have
286
00:12:40,250 --> 00:12:41,549
boundaries also.
287
00:12:41,850 --> 00:12:48,545
And this is also includes, I don't say work
life balance because I don't believe in
288
00:12:48,545 --> 00:12:49,024
balance.
289
00:12:49,024 --> 00:12:51,524
But, I would say work life harmony.
290
00:12:51,665 --> 00:12:52,165
Yes.
291
00:12:52,705 --> 00:12:53,105
Mhmm.
292
00:12:53,105 --> 00:12:55,045
It may be not will be balanced.
293
00:12:55,184 --> 00:12:55,425
Yeah.
294
00:12:55,425 --> 00:13:00,170
Because it is really, I think, impossible to
have balance because we always have something
295
00:13:00,170 --> 00:13:01,710
what is priority today.
296
00:13:02,170 --> 00:13:02,730
So Sure.
297
00:13:02,809 --> 00:13:08,350
We can work one week more, and then we can take
one week vacation with family.
298
00:13:08,570 --> 00:13:11,290
So this time Yeah.
299
00:13:11,290 --> 00:13:11,769
So Yeah.
300
00:13:11,769 --> 00:13:12,509
And that's
301
00:13:13,195 --> 00:13:19,115
that's kind of what I look at work life balance
as is, like, being able to prioritize the right
302
00:13:19,115 --> 00:13:20,174
thing at the right time.
303
00:13:21,034 --> 00:13:21,534
Right?
304
00:13:21,595 --> 00:13:24,815
To where there's no one area of your life that
gets sacrificed.
305
00:13:25,230 --> 00:13:25,389
Right?
306
00:13:25,389 --> 00:13:26,830
Where you're always handling the basics.
307
00:13:26,830 --> 00:13:27,789
You always got that foundation.
308
00:13:27,789 --> 00:13:27,950
Sure.
309
00:13:27,950 --> 00:13:29,230
Whatever that happens to be for you.
310
00:13:29,230 --> 00:13:32,110
Like, six hours of sleep or eight hours of
sleep.
311
00:13:32,110 --> 00:13:33,309
Are you working out three times a week?
312
00:13:33,309 --> 00:13:34,509
You're working out five times a week?
313
00:13:34,509 --> 00:13:35,470
You're just going for walks?
314
00:13:35,470 --> 00:13:36,429
Whatever that looks like for you.
315
00:13:36,429 --> 00:13:40,205
Whatever you need to do to kinda, like,
maintain that body at a reasonable function,
316
00:13:40,264 --> 00:13:41,245
that's your foundation.
317
00:13:42,184 --> 00:13:43,485
But life moves in seasons.
318
00:13:44,504 --> 00:13:46,684
There's no one day that's gonna be like the
other.
319
00:13:46,904 --> 00:13:47,404
Right?
320
00:13:47,625 --> 00:13:49,705
So it's a matter of, like, realizing, okay.
321
00:13:49,705 --> 00:13:50,504
I'm in this season.
322
00:13:50,504 --> 00:13:53,705
So right now I'm prioritizing this, so I'm
gonna be doing more of this and less of the
323
00:13:53,705 --> 00:13:53,879
other.
324
00:13:54,519 --> 00:13:56,279
And over time, that season's gonna change.
325
00:13:56,279 --> 00:13:57,320
I'm gonna do less of this thing.
326
00:13:57,320 --> 00:13:59,100
I'm gonna do more of this other thing instead.
327
00:14:00,039 --> 00:14:00,539
Right?
328
00:14:01,000 --> 00:14:06,679
But it's taking a a back taking a a bigger look
at things, taking a, like, a a 30,000 foot
329
00:14:06,679 --> 00:14:07,080
view.
330
00:14:07,080 --> 00:14:07,320
Right?
331
00:14:07,320 --> 00:14:12,134
Seeing the forest rather than the trees Because
it's very easy to get caught up in the day to
332
00:14:12,134 --> 00:14:12,295
day.
333
00:14:12,295 --> 00:14:15,975
It's very easy to get, you know, dealing with
the monster of the week and the problem, day
334
00:14:15,975 --> 00:14:20,215
and the fire that's in front of you right now
and get lost in just, like, looking at these
335
00:14:20,215 --> 00:14:21,915
trees and miss that bigger picture.
336
00:14:22,500 --> 00:14:25,160
Especially because as entrepreneurs, we love
fixing things.
337
00:14:25,700 --> 00:14:26,420
We love problems.
338
00:14:26,420 --> 00:14:28,420
We love just, like, you know, let me what's the
next problem?
339
00:14:28,420 --> 00:14:29,379
What's the next challenge?
340
00:14:29,379 --> 00:14:30,740
What's the next thing to do?
341
00:14:30,740 --> 00:14:34,920
And we're always kinda, like, looking for that
next lever we can pull to move things forward.
342
00:14:35,795 --> 00:14:40,995
And if we don't take a step back to look at
that bigger picture, we might be heading in the
343
00:14:40,995 --> 00:14:41,735
wrong direction.
344
00:14:42,595 --> 00:14:42,835
Right?
345
00:14:42,835 --> 00:14:46,675
We picked a goal, picked a direction based on
what we understood at the time, based on who we
346
00:14:46,675 --> 00:14:49,335
were at the time, based on what we were looking
for at the time.
347
00:14:50,409 --> 00:14:54,269
You know, six months, a year down the road, is
this still the right place to go?
348
00:14:54,970 --> 00:14:56,009
Is this still the right direction?
349
00:14:56,009 --> 00:14:57,549
Am I still doing the right way?
350
00:14:58,409 --> 00:15:02,570
You know, so taking a step back, setting aside
some time, once every two, three months or so,
351
00:15:02,570 --> 00:15:03,674
let's take this out as, okay.
352
00:15:03,914 --> 00:15:05,195
Is this still the right direction?
353
00:15:05,195 --> 00:15:06,394
Am I still going the right place?
354
00:15:06,394 --> 00:15:08,014
Am I still doing this right way?
355
00:15:08,794 --> 00:15:11,534
Am I doing too much of one thing and too little
of another?
356
00:15:12,154 --> 00:15:12,475
Right?
357
00:15:12,475 --> 00:15:14,714
Am I sacrificing too much in one area of my
life?
358
00:15:14,714 --> 00:15:15,214
Right?
359
00:15:15,355 --> 00:15:20,660
Do I have everything I need as a person from
all these different areas of my life.
360
00:15:20,660 --> 00:15:21,160
Right?
361
00:15:21,779 --> 00:15:24,019
Because it's not enough to be focused on
business.
362
00:15:24,019 --> 00:15:25,299
You gotta have that health thing.
363
00:15:25,299 --> 00:15:25,799
Absolutely.
364
00:15:26,420 --> 00:15:27,379
Family is important.
365
00:15:27,379 --> 00:15:28,340
Friends are important.
366
00:15:28,340 --> 00:15:29,559
Social times are important.
367
00:15:29,779 --> 00:15:31,320
For spiritual, that's important.
368
00:15:31,615 --> 00:15:33,295
Rest and relaxation is important.
369
00:15:33,295 --> 00:15:33,455
Right?
370
00:15:33,455 --> 00:15:37,715
So you've got all these different, areas of
your life, different possible priorities.
371
00:15:38,815 --> 00:15:41,934
Are you actually getting what you need from all
these different areas?
372
00:15:41,934 --> 00:15:44,174
Because if you're not, that's a hole.
373
00:15:44,174 --> 00:15:45,075
That's a gap.
374
00:15:45,134 --> 00:15:46,115
That's an insufficiency.
375
00:15:47,420 --> 00:15:51,200
That's actually holding you back in some way in
the areas that are really important to you.
376
00:15:51,980 --> 00:15:52,220
Alright.
377
00:15:52,220 --> 00:15:56,779
So it's about taking that bigger look at things
and making sure you've got what you need in all
378
00:15:56,779 --> 00:16:00,399
these different areas so that you can bring
your full self to any endeavor.
379
00:16:04,434 --> 00:16:04,934
Yes.
380
00:16:05,075 --> 00:16:12,355
And, another one, I think, believe is, that I
want to achieve the goal.
381
00:16:12,355 --> 00:16:14,195
I have to work hard.
382
00:16:14,195 --> 00:16:16,295
I will I have to be short.
383
00:16:16,990 --> 00:16:24,110
And, I like how Christ Preacher in his book,
you squared, wrote about quantum leaps and
384
00:16:24,110 --> 00:16:25,250
effortless way.
385
00:16:26,110 --> 00:16:34,785
And said there that, in many cases, that
believe that I have to push hard and do harder
386
00:16:34,785 --> 00:16:38,004
the same things is also the problem.
387
00:16:38,144 --> 00:16:45,069
And in many cases, you have just to shift your
perception and, look, as you said, look bigger
388
00:16:45,069 --> 00:16:52,189
picture or look from different perspective and
start doing things different and find Yeah.
389
00:16:52,350 --> 00:16:53,329
This way.
390
00:16:53,789 --> 00:16:54,750
So you don't
391
00:16:56,884 --> 00:16:57,365
Yeah.
392
00:16:57,365 --> 00:17:00,245
Well, I'm I'm almost 50 years old, so I get to
say stuff like this.
393
00:17:00,245 --> 00:17:04,585
But, like, back in my day, we had this phrase
called work work smarter, not harder.
394
00:17:05,204 --> 00:17:07,684
The idea was not do the hard thing.
395
00:17:07,684 --> 00:17:11,384
It's figure out how to do it most effectively,
most efficiently, most intelligently.
396
00:17:12,059 --> 00:17:12,220
Right?
397
00:17:12,220 --> 00:17:13,440
We're supposed to be smart.
398
00:17:13,740 --> 00:17:14,940
We're not supposed to be working hard.
399
00:17:14,940 --> 00:17:16,880
We're supposed to figure out the best way to do
it.
400
00:17:17,419 --> 00:17:23,339
So for one thing, part of it's all, like,
hustle culture work hard thing is if I can show
401
00:17:23,339 --> 00:17:28,724
myself I'm working hard and putting all these
inputs in, right, that's a way to keep myself
402
00:17:28,724 --> 00:17:32,884
busy to demonstrate that I'm on the road to to
to show myself that I'm heading in the right
403
00:17:32,884 --> 00:17:33,384
direction.
404
00:17:34,325 --> 00:17:36,904
But effort for the sake of effort doesn't get
you anywhere.
405
00:17:38,085 --> 00:17:40,505
Grinding for the sake of grinding doesn't get
you anywhere.
406
00:17:41,130 --> 00:17:41,369
Right?
407
00:17:41,369 --> 00:17:43,369
And it actually becomes its own goal.
408
00:17:43,369 --> 00:17:43,690
Right?
409
00:17:43,690 --> 00:17:45,470
It becomes its own way to measure things.
410
00:17:46,089 --> 00:17:46,410
Right?
411
00:17:46,410 --> 00:17:51,630
Because this idea that what we measure gets
managed, the KPIs, the ways we measure things,
412
00:17:51,769 --> 00:17:53,549
determines how we go about stuff.
413
00:17:53,904 --> 00:17:58,384
And if you're always focused on time, effort,
and input, and you're not looking at output and
414
00:17:58,384 --> 00:18:01,765
results, then you don't know how your machine
is broken.
415
00:18:03,184 --> 00:18:03,684
Right?
416
00:18:04,305 --> 00:18:08,865
If you're working hard, the first thing you
need to ask yourself is why the heck is this so
417
00:18:08,865 --> 00:18:09,365
hard?
418
00:18:10,450 --> 00:18:12,130
Why am I putting so much work in?
419
00:18:12,130 --> 00:18:12,630
Right?
420
00:18:13,649 --> 00:18:18,849
Because if it's complicated, if you have to
work really hard, you don't understand whatever
421
00:18:18,849 --> 00:18:19,829
it is you're doing.
422
00:18:21,089 --> 00:18:21,329
Right?
423
00:18:21,329 --> 00:18:25,974
If you talk about effortless success and
effortless work, if you how you wanna call it,
424
00:18:25,974 --> 00:18:30,454
talk about being in flow, that's the space
where you actually understand the process.
425
00:18:30,454 --> 00:18:34,295
You actually understand how the whole machine
works, and you're able to move through this
426
00:18:34,295 --> 00:18:39,255
process smoothly because you figured out where
all the friction points are and how to manage
427
00:18:39,255 --> 00:18:39,755
them.
428
00:18:41,309 --> 00:18:41,630
Right?
429
00:18:41,630 --> 00:18:46,029
So if you don't if you're working hard, if it's
not simple, if it's not a % clear, if you don't
430
00:18:46,029 --> 00:18:50,130
don't know why things are the way they are, you
don't actually understand the system.
431
00:18:50,670 --> 00:18:52,829
In which case, you need to take a step back and
say, okay.
432
00:18:52,829 --> 00:18:53,809
What am I missing?
433
00:18:54,429 --> 00:18:57,544
I'm grinding really hard, putting in a lot of
work and effort.
434
00:18:57,924 --> 00:18:59,304
What am I seeing as the results?
435
00:18:59,444 --> 00:19:00,325
I should be seeing this.
436
00:19:00,325 --> 00:19:01,284
I'm seeing this instead.
437
00:19:01,284 --> 00:19:01,605
Great.
438
00:19:01,605 --> 00:19:02,505
What's the disconnect?
439
00:19:02,565 --> 00:19:03,544
What am I missing?
440
00:19:04,484 --> 00:19:04,984
Right?
441
00:19:05,125 --> 00:19:07,125
Because nobody cares about the effort.
442
00:19:07,125 --> 00:19:08,984
Everybody should be caring about the result.
443
00:19:10,039 --> 00:19:14,700
If the effort is the thing you care about, it's
just a different form of procrastination.
444
00:19:15,720 --> 00:19:17,500
It's just a different form of self sabotage.
445
00:19:18,279 --> 00:19:20,700
It's just a way to hold yourself back.
446
00:19:22,255 --> 00:19:22,575
Right?
447
00:19:22,575 --> 00:19:26,734
And just using that as a scoreboard rather than
the results, and the results are really what
448
00:19:26,734 --> 00:19:27,714
everybody wants.
449
00:19:28,174 --> 00:19:29,795
It's a way to play small.
450
00:19:33,900 --> 00:19:34,140
Yes.
451
00:19:34,140 --> 00:19:37,200
And here, you, mentioned procrastination.
452
00:19:38,220 --> 00:19:38,539
Mhmm.
453
00:19:38,539 --> 00:19:42,080
How procrastination is related to beliefs?
454
00:19:42,700 --> 00:19:43,200
Mhmm.
455
00:19:43,820 --> 00:19:45,980
Where I see it, number one, I actually love
procrastination.
456
00:19:45,980 --> 00:19:47,200
I think it's amazing.
457
00:19:47,464 --> 00:19:51,464
But that's partly because I have ADHD, and so
getting things done at the last moment was
458
00:19:51,464 --> 00:19:53,325
always, like, that's just what's gonna happen.
459
00:19:53,625 --> 00:19:57,384
It doesn't matter if I've got a day, a week, a
month, or a year to do the thing.
460
00:19:57,384 --> 00:19:59,670
It's always gonna be doing done the day it's
due.
461
00:19:59,910 --> 00:20:01,590
Like, that's always gonna be what it is.
462
00:20:01,590 --> 00:20:05,029
And it used to cause me a lot of friction and a
lot of pain and just like, you know, it says,
463
00:20:05,029 --> 00:20:06,650
why can't this get done earlier?
464
00:20:07,190 --> 00:20:10,250
And so I realized that procrastination means
one of three things.
465
00:20:10,630 --> 00:20:14,890
Either I'm doing the wrong thing, I'm doing it
the wrong way, I'm doing it the wrong time.
466
00:20:15,825 --> 00:20:16,325
K?
467
00:20:16,865 --> 00:20:18,865
That per that last one is really kind of
important.
468
00:20:18,865 --> 00:20:19,365
Alright?
469
00:20:19,664 --> 00:20:23,924
In The United States, taxes are due, April 15
of every year.
470
00:20:24,785 --> 00:20:26,804
I don't have to do them January 1.
471
00:20:27,105 --> 00:20:28,549
I don't have to do them February 3.
472
00:20:28,549 --> 00:20:29,930
I don't have to do it March 12.
473
00:20:30,309 --> 00:20:30,789
It's done.
474
00:20:30,789 --> 00:20:31,990
It's due by April 15.
475
00:20:31,990 --> 00:20:35,690
So sometime between January 1 and April 15, the
taxes have to be done.
476
00:20:36,390 --> 00:20:39,029
So I'm like, oh, I need to do my taxes, and my
brain is saying, no.
477
00:20:39,029 --> 00:20:39,930
Not right now.
478
00:20:40,230 --> 00:20:40,630
Why?
479
00:20:40,630 --> 00:20:41,849
Because you've got time.
480
00:20:42,454 --> 00:20:46,694
There's gonna be another time down the road
where that's gonna be a more appropriate time
481
00:20:46,694 --> 00:20:47,575
for you to sit down and do that.
482
00:20:47,575 --> 00:20:50,055
And you're gonna know what that is because
you're gonna have that impulse of, okay, now's
483
00:20:50,055 --> 00:20:50,714
the time.
484
00:20:51,174 --> 00:20:51,414
Right?
485
00:20:51,414 --> 00:20:55,414
So if you're setting these arbitrary times,
arbitrary spaces, so I'm gonna do this this
486
00:20:55,414 --> 00:20:55,914
time.
487
00:20:56,055 --> 00:20:57,355
And your mind is like, no.
488
00:20:58,410 --> 00:21:01,450
Maybe it's just that's the wrong time to do it
because it's due way down the road, and you got
489
00:21:01,450 --> 00:21:02,830
other things that are more important.
490
00:21:03,769 --> 00:21:06,890
The other thing is you might be doing the wrong
thing.
491
00:21:06,890 --> 00:21:10,330
Sometimes the reason we're holding the house
back from going certain directions is like,
492
00:21:10,330 --> 00:21:12,430
that's not actually the direction you should be
going.
493
00:21:13,565 --> 00:21:14,444
You pick that one.
494
00:21:14,444 --> 00:21:14,924
Sure.
495
00:21:14,924 --> 00:21:16,444
You think it's gonna do a certain thing.
496
00:21:16,444 --> 00:21:16,944
Sure.
497
00:21:17,164 --> 00:21:19,025
But the rest of you is saying that ain't it.
498
00:21:20,204 --> 00:21:21,724
So take a step back and say, okay.
499
00:21:21,724 --> 00:21:23,585
Is this actually what I should be doing?
500
00:21:24,765 --> 00:21:25,085
Right.
501
00:21:25,085 --> 00:21:27,210
Talk about the whole grinding thing, working
really hard.
502
00:21:27,769 --> 00:21:29,710
Is this actually what I should be doing?
503
00:21:30,329 --> 00:21:30,730
Right?
504
00:21:30,730 --> 00:21:32,750
Because maybe I should be doing something else
instead.
505
00:21:32,970 --> 00:21:33,609
Take this step back.
506
00:21:33,609 --> 00:21:34,589
What am I missing?
507
00:21:35,690 --> 00:21:36,970
The third one's really interesting.
508
00:21:36,970 --> 00:21:39,529
It's it's, this idea that you're doing it the
wrong way.
509
00:21:39,529 --> 00:21:39,929
Right?
510
00:21:39,929 --> 00:21:41,950
Talked about how create a book.
511
00:21:42,445 --> 00:21:45,565
Spent about six or seven months before I
actually got down to writing it, trying to
512
00:21:45,565 --> 00:21:48,085
figure out the structure of it, trying to
figure out how to say what I was gonna say, and
513
00:21:48,085 --> 00:21:49,345
I just like getting nowhere.
514
00:21:49,644 --> 00:21:52,445
I was even working with a friend trying to,
like, mind map all these different topics and
515
00:21:52,445 --> 00:21:53,825
stuff and really getting nowhere.
516
00:21:54,365 --> 00:21:57,269
And he told me about this guy named Joshua
Leiszek, who's a ghostwriter.
517
00:21:57,490 --> 00:21:57,649
Right?
518
00:21:57,649 --> 00:21:59,009
He helps authors write their book.
519
00:21:59,009 --> 00:22:01,009
He basically writes books for people.
520
00:22:01,009 --> 00:22:01,509
Right?
521
00:22:02,450 --> 00:22:02,929
I sat there.
522
00:22:02,929 --> 00:22:04,450
I was like, that's interesting concept.
523
00:22:04,450 --> 00:22:04,769
Sat there.
524
00:22:04,769 --> 00:22:08,630
I read read his book about, you know, called,
So Good They Call You Fake.
525
00:22:09,404 --> 00:22:11,744
It's like, oh, I'm doing this wrong.
526
00:22:11,965 --> 00:22:13,424
I'm not supposed to write the book.
527
00:22:13,965 --> 00:22:14,705
He is.
528
00:22:15,805 --> 00:22:19,485
Because he was so good at laying out why things
were the way we are, just how to move through
529
00:22:19,485 --> 00:22:20,144
that process.
530
00:22:20,205 --> 00:22:21,985
And he's hyping just like I am.
531
00:22:22,269 --> 00:22:25,569
So he understands what I'm trying to do and
will be able to convey that better.
532
00:22:26,109 --> 00:22:27,170
Plus, I'm autistic.
533
00:22:29,710 --> 00:22:34,029
Be trying to figure out how to convey all these
complex, big, heavy subjects to to a normal
534
00:22:34,029 --> 00:22:37,705
person so they can get it is incredibly hard
because I don't understand how you people see
535
00:22:37,705 --> 00:22:38,285
the world.
536
00:22:39,065 --> 00:22:44,984
I needed a translator to translate this weird
thing in my head to something that everybody
537
00:22:44,984 --> 00:22:46,765
else could actually use and play with.
538
00:22:47,480 --> 00:22:48,680
I was doing it the wrong way.
539
00:22:48,680 --> 00:22:50,080
I wasn't supposed to be writing that book
myself.
540
00:22:50,080 --> 00:22:51,980
I was supposed to find the right person to
translate.
541
00:22:52,359 --> 00:22:53,799
That's the guy, Joshua Leisig.
542
00:22:53,799 --> 00:22:55,180
Hired him to write the book.
543
00:22:55,320 --> 00:22:58,359
Sat there and dumped probably ten or twelve
hours with audio, just, like, word vomited
544
00:22:58,359 --> 00:22:59,625
everything I could think of them.
545
00:22:59,865 --> 00:23:03,644
A week later, he had a first draft that's about
80% or 80% there.
546
00:23:04,664 --> 00:23:06,025
One week after that, it's like, here.
547
00:23:06,025 --> 00:23:07,384
Take all this, make sense.
548
00:23:07,384 --> 00:23:07,704
Okay.
549
00:23:07,704 --> 00:23:08,525
Here you go.
550
00:23:09,144 --> 00:23:11,944
I banged my head against work for seven months
on that thing.
551
00:23:11,944 --> 00:23:13,484
One week later, he's got it.
552
00:23:13,704 --> 00:23:15,164
I was doing it the wrong way.
553
00:23:17,200 --> 00:23:17,359
Mhmm.
554
00:23:17,359 --> 00:23:18,900
He has such a great example.
555
00:23:19,359 --> 00:23:19,839
Yes.
556
00:23:19,839 --> 00:23:20,339
Mhmm.
557
00:23:20,480 --> 00:23:23,779
Again, it says about feelings.
558
00:23:23,919 --> 00:23:27,759
Connect to your feelings and to find what you
really want to do.
559
00:23:27,759 --> 00:23:31,684
Because when you find what you want to do, you
will want to do that.
560
00:23:31,684 --> 00:23:32,164
Yes?
561
00:23:32,164 --> 00:23:34,025
Because it's aligned with you.
562
00:23:34,404 --> 00:23:40,325
And if you feel resistance that your body
doesn't want to do it or your mind doesn't want
563
00:23:40,325 --> 00:23:41,684
to do is Yeah.
564
00:23:42,005 --> 00:23:42,744
Your perception.
565
00:23:43,045 --> 00:23:44,585
Look look for the reason.
566
00:23:44,644 --> 00:23:46,025
What may be the reason.
567
00:23:46,539 --> 00:23:53,259
If there is something that is has to be done
and you don't want to do, maybe it is not what
568
00:23:53,259 --> 00:23:54,220
you have to do.
569
00:23:54,220 --> 00:24:01,054
Maybe you have to on things which you have to
do and nobody else can do, and you can delegate
570
00:24:01,194 --> 00:24:06,015
these tasks for your assistant or somebody else
to accomplish.
571
00:24:06,554 --> 00:24:07,434
And so you Sure.
572
00:24:07,434 --> 00:24:07,934
Absolutely.
573
00:24:07,994 --> 00:24:08,494
Yeah.
574
00:24:08,875 --> 00:24:09,194
Yes.
575
00:24:09,194 --> 00:24:18,150
So you find what is that makes you in the flow
when you don't think that you have to do it.
576
00:24:18,150 --> 00:24:24,150
You're just doing it because it is just like it
just aligns with who you are, aligns with your
577
00:24:24,150 --> 00:24:27,049
feelings, emotions, and it brings you joy.
578
00:24:27,214 --> 00:24:30,195
When you do that, it gives you good feelings.
579
00:24:30,255 --> 00:24:35,295
Not that you do something that other people can
do and that you don't like to do, and you would
580
00:24:35,295 --> 00:24:39,075
do it like struggling that pushing yourself
that I have to do that.
581
00:24:39,295 --> 00:24:45,200
And in many cases, this is when
procrastinations come and things stay not to be
582
00:24:45,200 --> 00:24:45,700
done.
583
00:24:46,000 --> 00:24:51,919
But it is not because you are, like, wrong or
you don't do things on time.
584
00:24:51,919 --> 00:24:57,375
This is just current reason because you didn't
delegate these things to be done by other
585
00:24:57,375 --> 00:25:00,755
people who you know would do that very well.
586
00:25:00,894 --> 00:25:01,215
Yes.
587
00:25:01,215 --> 00:25:07,920
Because some people for example, me, I cannot
do a routine.
588
00:25:08,140 --> 00:25:10,000
I cannot do things.
589
00:25:10,619 --> 00:25:18,299
I didn't now it is very I think you said that
you had HDD, and I think I also have that
590
00:25:18,299 --> 00:25:19,920
because I just look symptoms.
591
00:25:21,019 --> 00:25:21,660
I Yeah.
592
00:25:21,660 --> 00:25:22,154
Yeah.
593
00:25:22,315 --> 00:25:23,934
Didn't go for check.
594
00:25:24,634 --> 00:25:34,875
But I think I also have this, some part of that
because I like I like to I like new ideas to
595
00:25:34,875 --> 00:25:41,849
start new things, and I cannot do things which
are everyday, like, routine.
596
00:25:42,230 --> 00:25:43,450
Like Yeah.
597
00:25:43,670 --> 00:25:45,509
The day or do something everyday.
598
00:25:45,509 --> 00:25:46,730
I cannot do that.
599
00:25:46,869 --> 00:25:52,384
For me, it is like, like, I would progress
tonight and I would put it aside.
600
00:25:52,845 --> 00:26:00,684
So what I do when I noticed that what what I
feel resistance, it means that it is just not
601
00:26:00,684 --> 00:26:01,984
what I have to do.
602
00:26:02,329 --> 00:26:10,650
And when I put it out and I gave this task to
to be done by my assistant, this how I felt
603
00:26:10,650 --> 00:26:14,750
relief because I don't need to force myself
anymore.
604
00:26:15,210 --> 00:26:22,335
I can focus of which I love to do, and I know
that those tasks are done by that assistant on
605
00:26:22,335 --> 00:26:22,815
time.
606
00:26:22,815 --> 00:26:26,434
So I don't have to worry about having them not
done.
607
00:26:26,974 --> 00:26:27,214
Yeah.
608
00:26:27,214 --> 00:26:29,634
So I like the question about this.
609
00:26:30,169 --> 00:26:30,409
Yeah.
610
00:26:30,409 --> 00:26:34,569
And, really, it's all about you're talking
about being aligned, and that's really the key.
611
00:26:34,569 --> 00:26:38,109
That's, like, the biggest key to all of this is
being aligned.
612
00:26:38,970 --> 00:26:43,529
And what that it means is that you have to
actually give all those different parts of
613
00:26:43,529 --> 00:26:44,909
yourself that they're due.
614
00:26:45,274 --> 00:26:45,595
Right?
615
00:26:45,595 --> 00:26:48,954
If you think about your mind as a company,
okay, you got your consciousness, that's your
616
00:26:48,954 --> 00:26:49,454
CEO.
617
00:26:49,835 --> 00:26:51,855
Got your rational mind that's kinda senior
management.
618
00:26:52,394 --> 00:26:54,315
Got your emotional mind that's kinda like
middle management.
619
00:26:54,315 --> 00:26:56,154
You got your instinctive mind that's like the
worker bees.
620
00:26:56,154 --> 00:26:56,234
Right?
621
00:26:56,234 --> 00:26:58,075
The guys working the doc and the accountants
and so forth.
622
00:26:58,075 --> 00:26:58,554
Right?
623
00:26:58,554 --> 00:27:00,900
Each of those parts of you has a different job
to do.
624
00:27:01,859 --> 00:27:02,359
Right?
625
00:27:03,059 --> 00:27:06,420
The CEO consciousness isn't supposed to be
doing all the work.
626
00:27:06,420 --> 00:27:08,099
That's supposed to be macro managing stuff.
627
00:27:08,099 --> 00:27:09,299
Say, we're going this way.
628
00:27:09,299 --> 00:27:10,680
This is strategic direction.
629
00:27:11,299 --> 00:27:12,580
If you got any problems, let me know.
630
00:27:12,580 --> 00:27:13,605
I'm gonna go golf.
631
00:27:13,765 --> 00:27:14,005
Why?
632
00:27:14,005 --> 00:27:16,984
Because you got people to handle the rest of
the stuff or at least you should.
633
00:27:18,005 --> 00:27:21,204
And they're trying to tell you what's going on
in their different departments and the
634
00:27:21,204 --> 00:27:24,964
different ways sort of the slice of reality
that they're playing with, and you're supposed
635
00:27:24,964 --> 00:27:25,625
to listen.
636
00:27:26,750 --> 00:27:26,909
Right?
637
00:27:26,909 --> 00:27:29,649
So if you're feeling resistance, that's part of
you saying that ain't it.
638
00:27:29,950 --> 00:27:33,069
If you're pushing against it, it's because you
don't trust your mind because you're trying to
639
00:27:33,069 --> 00:27:34,909
make them do what you wanna do rather than
listening.
640
00:27:34,909 --> 00:27:36,829
You're trying to micromanage your your company.
641
00:27:36,829 --> 00:27:37,329
Right?
642
00:27:37,470 --> 00:27:40,769
And everybody's got that one boss that just
does not freaking listen.
643
00:27:41,085 --> 00:27:41,565
Right?
644
00:27:41,565 --> 00:27:43,005
You try and tell them what's going on.
645
00:27:43,005 --> 00:27:44,525
You try and tell them, and they don't care.
646
00:27:44,525 --> 00:27:46,125
They're just gonna do whatever they want to do
anyway.
647
00:27:46,125 --> 00:27:47,325
So after a while, you stop telling them.
648
00:27:47,325 --> 00:27:48,865
You just do what you want to do anyway.
649
00:27:49,484 --> 00:27:49,724
Right?
650
00:27:49,724 --> 00:27:52,605
And we see that all the time where we got all
these bad habits, all that stuff keeps popping
651
00:27:52,605 --> 00:27:52,684
up.
652
00:27:52,684 --> 00:27:53,484
We can't stop it.
653
00:27:53,484 --> 00:27:53,964
Why?
654
00:27:53,964 --> 00:27:55,750
Can you stop listening to that part of you?
655
00:27:55,750 --> 00:27:57,130
It's gonna do its own thing.
656
00:27:57,750 --> 00:28:03,349
But once you start listening, once you give it
its due, now you got that space to negotiate
657
00:28:03,349 --> 00:28:03,930
and play.
658
00:28:04,309 --> 00:28:05,109
I'd say, hey, boss.
659
00:28:05,109 --> 00:28:05,589
We got a problem.
660
00:28:05,589 --> 00:28:05,830
Great.
661
00:28:05,830 --> 00:28:06,650
What's the problem?
662
00:28:06,984 --> 00:28:07,704
Well, this is a problem.
663
00:28:07,704 --> 00:28:08,105
Awesome.
664
00:28:08,105 --> 00:28:09,404
We're gonna handle it this way.
665
00:28:09,544 --> 00:28:10,825
Well, thank you for telling me.
666
00:28:10,825 --> 00:28:11,865
I understand your concern.
667
00:28:11,865 --> 00:28:13,164
We're gonna do it this way anyway.
668
00:28:13,704 --> 00:28:13,944
Right?
669
00:28:13,944 --> 00:28:18,664
By giving your mind its due, it knows that the
problems are being addressed and at least being
670
00:28:18,664 --> 00:28:20,284
seen so it can relax.
671
00:28:20,505 --> 00:28:21,464
It can play ball.
672
00:28:21,464 --> 00:28:22,764
It can be on the same team.
673
00:28:23,279 --> 00:28:26,640
And one of the hardest things is when that
emotional mind starts telling us things we
674
00:28:26,640 --> 00:28:27,539
don't wanna hear.
675
00:28:28,080 --> 00:28:29,279
Like, you're not good enough.
676
00:28:29,279 --> 00:28:30,160
Like, you don't deserve.
677
00:28:30,160 --> 00:28:31,279
Like, there's something wrong with you.
678
00:28:31,279 --> 00:28:32,500
Like, you don't measure up.
679
00:28:32,960 --> 00:28:34,100
We hate that answer.
680
00:28:34,160 --> 00:28:35,759
We don't want that answer to be true.
681
00:28:35,759 --> 00:28:37,355
So we try to make something else be true.
682
00:28:37,355 --> 00:28:38,474
I'm a play over here and listen to this.
683
00:28:38,474 --> 00:28:39,934
I'm a be this other thing instead.
684
00:28:40,954 --> 00:28:44,875
But the reality is we're looking at reality
through all these different lenses at the same
685
00:28:44,875 --> 00:28:45,115
time.
686
00:28:45,115 --> 00:28:46,894
We're looking at the forest and the trees.
687
00:28:48,000 --> 00:28:48,240
Right?
688
00:28:48,240 --> 00:28:51,440
And your emotional mind is probably just
looking at the trees or the forest.
689
00:28:51,440 --> 00:28:52,079
I'm sorry.
690
00:28:52,079 --> 00:28:53,619
So good patterns over time.
691
00:28:55,119 --> 00:28:55,619
Right?
692
00:28:55,680 --> 00:28:59,140
So it's seeing something and saying, hey.
693
00:28:59,279 --> 00:29:02,420
This is the pattern I'm seeing from that larger
scale.
694
00:29:03,325 --> 00:29:05,805
It's a pattern I'm seeing from the force, from
that 30,000 foot view.
695
00:29:05,805 --> 00:29:06,865
You need to pay attention.
696
00:29:07,005 --> 00:29:08,705
This is the kind of situation we're in.
697
00:29:09,085 --> 00:29:14,365
And if you ignore that, you're always fighting
against that trying to prove it wrong, but it
698
00:29:14,365 --> 00:29:15,085
ain't wrong.
699
00:29:15,085 --> 00:29:18,140
It's just a different set of tools from a
different perspective, different set of beliefs
700
00:29:18,140 --> 00:29:18,799
it's using.
701
00:29:19,259 --> 00:29:20,779
And you have to address those too.
702
00:29:20,779 --> 00:29:22,220
You gotta give them their due.
703
00:29:22,220 --> 00:29:23,580
Do you even not like the answer?
704
00:29:23,580 --> 00:29:24,080
No.
705
00:29:24,460 --> 00:29:25,580
Do you want it to be wrong?
706
00:29:25,580 --> 00:29:26,080
Yes.
707
00:29:26,380 --> 00:29:29,580
But you have to allow it to be true long enough
to fix it.
708
00:29:29,580 --> 00:29:33,555
You have to allow it to be true long long
enough to understand why it's true on that
709
00:29:33,555 --> 00:29:36,215
level, and then you can move it in a different
way.
710
00:29:36,515 --> 00:29:40,215
But once you get all these different parts of
you onboard, everything is seamless.
711
00:29:41,154 --> 00:29:41,555
Right?
712
00:29:41,555 --> 00:29:43,795
Everyone's being able to talk and coordinate
the way they need to.
713
00:29:43,795 --> 00:29:46,950
Every member of the team is on is able to
integrate and do what they need to.
714
00:29:47,190 --> 00:29:51,190
You're gonna listen to that input, give it what
it needs to respond, and then everything's
715
00:29:51,190 --> 00:29:53,049
effortless because you're not fighting yourself
anymore.
716
00:29:53,509 --> 00:29:58,789
You get to play in your zone of genius, the
space where you can have the biggest impact,
717
00:29:58,789 --> 00:29:59,849
the best, the fastest.
718
00:30:00,554 --> 00:30:03,115
As he's letting the stuff go, it's like, oh,
this is not my zone of genius.
719
00:30:03,115 --> 00:30:03,434
Awesome.
720
00:30:03,434 --> 00:30:04,654
Who needs to handle that?
721
00:30:04,714 --> 00:30:05,914
I'm not good at writing books.
722
00:30:05,914 --> 00:30:06,154
You.
723
00:30:06,154 --> 00:30:07,274
You're good at writing books.
724
00:30:07,274 --> 00:30:08,255
Do this for me.
725
00:30:08,394 --> 00:30:09,355
Here's the stuff you need.
726
00:30:09,355 --> 00:30:10,494
Let me know if you need help.
727
00:30:11,194 --> 00:30:11,694
Right?
728
00:30:11,914 --> 00:30:16,589
And that's a beautiful place because then
you're basically in flow at all times because
729
00:30:16,589 --> 00:30:17,890
there's no internal friction.
730
00:30:18,670 --> 00:30:18,910
Right?
731
00:30:18,910 --> 00:30:20,029
Because you're doing what you love.
732
00:30:20,029 --> 00:30:21,170
You're doing it the best.
733
00:30:21,390 --> 00:30:24,910
And there's all all those different parts of
you when there's a problem, they can tell you
734
00:30:24,910 --> 00:30:27,329
and you're gonna listen, which means you can
get handled faster.
735
00:30:28,154 --> 00:30:33,674
So you actually succeed faster, more, more
effectively, more efficiently, and you get to
736
00:30:33,674 --> 00:30:34,815
do it as a whole person.
737
00:30:37,515 --> 00:30:38,015
Yes.
738
00:30:38,875 --> 00:30:39,275
Yes.
739
00:30:39,275 --> 00:30:42,829
So so good that we address that subject.
740
00:30:42,829 --> 00:30:47,890
I think many people can find it so valuable,
this perception.
741
00:30:48,349 --> 00:30:56,404
Because, we were conditioned to to push
ourselves, just to have that that approach that
742
00:30:56,404 --> 00:30:57,865
we have to work hard.
743
00:30:58,964 --> 00:31:01,845
We were told that money doesn't grow on the
tree.
744
00:31:01,845 --> 00:31:03,045
You have to work.
745
00:31:03,045 --> 00:31:04,424
You have to Yep.
746
00:31:04,964 --> 00:31:05,365
Yes.
747
00:31:05,365 --> 00:31:07,704
You will have to win every time.
748
00:31:08,179 --> 00:31:14,679
And this is how this, wrong concept of success
is built in people's mind.
749
00:31:14,819 --> 00:31:15,059
Yeah.
750
00:31:15,059 --> 00:31:19,640
That they, they let the logic dominate.
751
00:31:20,099 --> 00:31:27,394
And logic also logic is not the same for
different people because we know that many
752
00:31:27,394 --> 00:31:35,875
years ago, people logic was allowed them to
think that they can fall down because the earth
753
00:31:35,875 --> 00:31:36,615
is flat.
754
00:31:37,019 --> 00:31:42,299
And they're afraid to go down because they put
the they they can fell down.
755
00:31:42,299 --> 00:31:42,619
Yes.
756
00:31:42,619 --> 00:31:43,420
And when Right.
757
00:31:43,660 --> 00:31:50,299
Pernic told or Golileo Golileo told that the
earth is round, they just killed him because it
758
00:31:50,299 --> 00:31:52,000
was opposite the logic.
759
00:31:52,355 --> 00:31:55,795
But we know that, logic can be different.
760
00:31:55,795 --> 00:31:57,815
Now it is totally different logic.
761
00:31:58,035 --> 00:31:58,275
Yes.
762
00:31:58,275 --> 00:32:01,174
So logic, it is not what is the truth.
763
00:32:01,875 --> 00:32:07,599
We know that in different countries, logic can
be different even now.
764
00:32:07,819 --> 00:32:10,319
So it is not that this is true.
765
00:32:10,859 --> 00:32:14,400
It is something that we accepted as a truth.
766
00:32:15,019 --> 00:32:21,615
And, this is how we grow up and things will
repeated to us again and again.
767
00:32:22,075 --> 00:32:26,075
And through that repetition, we just accept
that it is reality.
768
00:32:26,075 --> 00:32:31,134
And now we measure everything compares compare
with that reality.
769
00:32:31,960 --> 00:32:39,080
And it is not reality because that reality,
what is we accept as reality was not even built
770
00:32:39,080 --> 00:32:39,980
by us.
771
00:32:40,119 --> 00:32:41,500
We didn't choose that.
772
00:32:41,799 --> 00:32:42,779
This is something
773
00:32:43,000 --> 00:32:44,600
I would argue with on that one.
774
00:32:44,600 --> 00:32:48,194
And here's the thing here's the reason why is
that, you know, basic communication theory,
775
00:32:48,194 --> 00:32:51,734
like speech one zero one class, you got a
sender, you got a message, you got a receiver.
776
00:32:51,795 --> 00:32:52,295
Okay?
777
00:32:52,355 --> 00:32:52,595
Mhmm.
778
00:32:52,595 --> 00:32:55,875
I create a message, I'm trying to convey
something to you, so I craft a message, I throw
779
00:32:55,875 --> 00:32:56,595
it to you.
780
00:32:56,595 --> 00:32:58,914
The receiver is always the one that interprets
it.
781
00:32:58,914 --> 00:33:01,015
I have no control over how that's interpreted.
782
00:33:01,154 --> 00:33:01,654
Okay?
783
00:33:02,339 --> 00:33:05,859
But what so everything you believe is something
you created on your own.
784
00:33:05,859 --> 00:33:06,659
Nobody gave it to you.
785
00:33:06,659 --> 00:33:07,960
Nobody stuck it in your head.
786
00:33:08,179 --> 00:33:09,079
It is not programmed.
787
00:33:09,220 --> 00:33:10,740
It is not put upon you at all.
788
00:33:10,740 --> 00:33:11,880
You created that.
789
00:33:12,659 --> 00:33:17,865
Now the higher the pressure of the environment
you're in, the more demanding the environment
790
00:33:17,865 --> 00:33:24,105
is, the the the narrower the number of meanings
or understandings you can have that are gonna
791
00:33:24,105 --> 00:33:25,404
get you through that successfully.
792
00:33:26,345 --> 00:33:26,825
Right?
793
00:33:26,825 --> 00:33:30,025
So if you grew up in a strict household, you
grew up in a poor neighborhood, whatever that
794
00:33:30,025 --> 00:33:31,965
happens to be, there's a lot of pressure.
795
00:33:32,179 --> 00:33:34,359
So there's only a few solutions that really
work.
796
00:33:34,819 --> 00:33:36,500
And what often happens is, like, okay.
797
00:33:36,500 --> 00:33:37,619
I have to be perfect.
798
00:33:37,619 --> 00:33:38,500
I have to achieve.
799
00:33:38,500 --> 00:33:41,160
I have to do in order to get what I need.
800
00:33:41,460 --> 00:33:42,579
It's not just available to me.
801
00:33:42,579 --> 00:33:43,539
I gotta earn it.
802
00:33:43,539 --> 00:33:45,059
I can't just be me and get it.
803
00:33:45,059 --> 00:33:45,299
No.
804
00:33:45,299 --> 00:33:45,884
I gotta earn.
805
00:33:45,884 --> 00:33:46,924
I gotta be something else.
806
00:33:46,924 --> 00:33:47,884
I gotta do something else.
807
00:33:47,884 --> 00:33:48,445
I gotta achieve.
808
00:33:48,445 --> 00:33:49,424
I gotta be perfect.
809
00:33:51,164 --> 00:33:51,565
Right?
810
00:33:51,565 --> 00:33:56,945
That pressure to achieve is a I have to earn
where everything is conditional.
811
00:33:57,805 --> 00:34:00,789
And so you're trying to figure out the
conditions you need to fulfill to get what you
812
00:34:00,789 --> 00:34:03,670
need in life because you can't just have it on
your own.
813
00:34:03,670 --> 00:34:05,450
Can't just be you and have it.
814
00:34:05,670 --> 00:34:07,130
You gotta be something else.
815
00:34:07,670 --> 00:34:08,170
Right?
816
00:34:08,309 --> 00:34:10,170
And that's just an adaptation to those
pressures.
817
00:34:10,925 --> 00:34:15,244
The problem is we never take a step back and
take another look at that once we're in a
818
00:34:15,244 --> 00:34:16,065
different environment.
819
00:34:16,764 --> 00:34:17,164
Right?
820
00:34:17,164 --> 00:34:20,465
This was necessary when we were young because
we didn't have any control of our environment,
821
00:34:20,525 --> 00:34:21,344
what we're doing.
822
00:34:21,724 --> 00:34:22,625
Now we're adults.
823
00:34:22,764 --> 00:34:23,484
We do.
824
00:34:23,484 --> 00:34:25,025
We can play a different game.
825
00:34:25,719 --> 00:34:29,000
Though sometimes we never take a step back and
look at the rules and say, does this really
826
00:34:29,000 --> 00:34:29,500
apply?
827
00:34:30,039 --> 00:34:32,199
Is this actually helping me go where I wanna
be?
828
00:34:32,199 --> 00:34:36,059
Is this happening helping me be who I want to
be, who I am truly inside?
829
00:34:36,440 --> 00:34:42,655
Or am I being what is necessary, what I think
is necessary to get what I need.
830
00:34:43,914 --> 00:34:44,315
Yes.
831
00:34:44,315 --> 00:34:46,255
It is good to know your perception.
832
00:34:47,034 --> 00:34:52,974
What I meant that we were conditioned, for
example, people in China can eat cockroaches,
833
00:34:53,114 --> 00:34:54,574
for example, or bad.
834
00:34:54,875 --> 00:34:55,114
Yeah.
835
00:34:55,114 --> 00:34:55,590
Yeah.
836
00:34:55,910 --> 00:34:58,869
And they they accept as this is normal.
837
00:34:58,869 --> 00:34:59,369
Sure.
838
00:34:59,670 --> 00:35:03,849
So but people who are in Europe, they don't
eat.
839
00:35:03,910 --> 00:35:04,150
Yes.
840
00:35:04,150 --> 00:35:05,590
That's snakes and that.
841
00:35:05,590 --> 00:35:10,090
And so they believe that it is not normal to
eat cockroaches.
842
00:35:10,230 --> 00:35:16,815
So that would say that depending on which
environment the child is growing up Yeah.
843
00:35:16,894 --> 00:35:21,315
He accepts what is traditionally accepted in
that society.
844
00:35:21,375 --> 00:35:21,855
Yeah.
845
00:35:21,855 --> 00:35:22,980
We have Yeah.
846
00:35:23,059 --> 00:35:26,039
In society paradigms, we have family paradigms.
847
00:35:26,099 --> 00:35:26,420
Yes.
848
00:35:26,420 --> 00:35:28,519
So every country has their paradigms.
849
00:35:28,980 --> 00:35:37,534
And if if the Chinese, boy was, for example,
born in China and brought to US, he will grow
850
00:35:37,594 --> 00:35:42,175
up with total different, belief system.
851
00:35:42,474 --> 00:35:42,714
Yes?
852
00:35:42,714 --> 00:35:42,795
Yes.
853
00:35:42,795 --> 00:35:46,655
In if he would grow in China.
854
00:35:46,954 --> 00:35:48,234
This is what it means.
855
00:35:48,234 --> 00:35:57,650
So in a lot of, part a a big part of paradigms,
which we have as adults has been formed when we
856
00:35:57,650 --> 00:36:03,090
were infant because we came to the world with
new nothing, and we just Mhmm.
857
00:36:03,650 --> 00:36:07,349
Looking and through our five senses, we will
receiving information.
858
00:36:07,965 --> 00:36:08,724
And what Absolutely.
859
00:36:09,005 --> 00:36:12,625
Repeating many times, we accept it as this is
the truth.
860
00:36:12,925 --> 00:36:20,765
And later, everything what we see, we compare
with our what our paradigms accepts as the
861
00:36:20,765 --> 00:36:21,085
truth.
862
00:36:21,085 --> 00:36:21,585
Yeah.
863
00:36:21,800 --> 00:36:22,119
Yes.
864
00:36:22,119 --> 00:36:30,119
So that is why people find difficult to accept
other people perception because they just used
865
00:36:30,119 --> 00:36:38,204
to think that what they see it is right, and
they don't even, assume that other person can
866
00:36:38,204 --> 00:36:42,625
also be right although have totally different
opinion to the same thing.
867
00:36:43,244 --> 00:36:43,484
Yeah.
868
00:36:43,484 --> 00:36:47,085
And it's it's that's a beautiful example
because, like, culture is such a huge thing.
869
00:36:47,085 --> 00:36:47,244
Right?
870
00:36:47,244 --> 00:36:51,000
The environment you're growing in does
massively shape how you see the world.
871
00:36:51,320 --> 00:36:51,480
Right?
872
00:36:51,480 --> 00:36:53,079
Not just, like, with the country you grew up
in.
873
00:36:53,079 --> 00:36:53,880
It's like, okay.
874
00:36:53,880 --> 00:36:55,159
I'm in The United States.
875
00:36:55,159 --> 00:37:00,199
There are hugely different different cultures
between city and the rural, between different
876
00:37:00,199 --> 00:37:02,139
states, between different parts of the state.
877
00:37:02,360 --> 00:37:02,599
Right?
878
00:37:02,599 --> 00:37:05,019
I grew up in a can state called Kansas.
879
00:37:05,344 --> 00:37:06,625
Very big farm mostly farmland.
880
00:37:06,625 --> 00:37:09,125
I grew up in this biggest city there which is,
like, 300,000 people.
881
00:37:09,184 --> 00:37:12,545
My parents grew up in a town that has, like,
5,000 people out in the country, like, very
882
00:37:12,545 --> 00:37:13,364
different cultures.
883
00:37:13,424 --> 00:37:16,784
And all that's completely different from New
York, from Florida, from California, all that
884
00:37:16,784 --> 00:37:17,605
sort of stuff.
885
00:37:17,824 --> 00:37:19,349
But fundamentally, it's the same kind of thing.
886
00:37:19,349 --> 00:37:22,010
You're in an environment that has certain kinds
of pressures.
887
00:37:22,710 --> 00:37:22,869
Right?
888
00:37:22,869 --> 00:37:24,630
So you're just adapting those kinds of
pressures.
889
00:37:24,630 --> 00:37:28,710
And, yes, as you're growing in these cultures,
that creates your baseline of, like, this is
890
00:37:28,710 --> 00:37:30,150
what how this is how people work.
891
00:37:30,150 --> 00:37:31,369
This is how people are.
892
00:37:31,914 --> 00:37:33,914
And that does inform how you move forward.
893
00:37:33,914 --> 00:37:38,394
But the important thing to recognize is even
within a particular culture, everyone's moving
894
00:37:38,394 --> 00:37:39,295
through the world different.
895
00:37:40,875 --> 00:37:41,375
Right?
896
00:37:41,434 --> 00:37:45,809
Not everybody everybody who grew up in my town
in Kansas, everybody's working differently.
897
00:37:45,809 --> 00:37:47,250
Everybody's navigating life differently.
898
00:37:47,250 --> 00:37:47,650
Right?
899
00:37:47,650 --> 00:37:51,570
Because you're seeing it's not just the
external culture, you know, the overall culture
900
00:37:51,570 --> 00:37:54,610
plus the state you're in, plus the city you're
in, plus the family you're in, plus the
901
00:37:54,610 --> 00:37:56,789
neighborhood, plus the schools, plus all that
stuff.
902
00:37:56,885 --> 00:38:00,484
And you never really have a good idea what
that's gonna look like because it's your
903
00:38:00,484 --> 00:38:02,964
individual way path that you found through
that.
904
00:38:02,964 --> 00:38:03,464
Right?
905
00:38:03,925 --> 00:38:07,125
And so the important thing to to always
remember is that all these things are things
906
00:38:07,125 --> 00:38:08,025
you created yourself.
907
00:38:08,804 --> 00:38:09,304
Always.
908
00:38:09,525 --> 00:38:14,190
Which means there are always things you can
change if you're aware of it, if you do the
909
00:38:14,190 --> 00:38:17,409
exploration, if you use the right tools, all
that stuff you can change.
910
00:38:18,110 --> 00:38:21,010
If I grew up in The US, Twenty Five years old,
I moved to Thailand.
911
00:38:21,389 --> 00:38:23,409
I lived in Thailand for for ten years.
912
00:38:23,949 --> 00:38:25,710
I'm not used to The US normal anymore.
913
00:38:25,710 --> 00:38:27,630
I go back to New York and I was like, that's
ain't it.
914
00:38:27,630 --> 00:38:28,130
Right?
915
00:38:28,355 --> 00:38:28,514
Why?
916
00:38:28,514 --> 00:38:31,654
Because I found a culture and a space that
actually fit me better.
917
00:38:32,674 --> 00:38:32,994
Right?
918
00:38:32,994 --> 00:38:33,714
I left Kansas.
919
00:38:33,714 --> 00:38:34,514
I went to TC.
920
00:38:34,514 --> 00:38:36,054
Worked there for quite a long time.
921
00:38:36,114 --> 00:38:36,914
That's where I wanna be.
922
00:38:36,914 --> 00:38:37,714
That's where I need to be.
923
00:38:37,714 --> 00:38:38,674
That doesn't fit anymore.
924
00:38:38,674 --> 00:38:39,074
Out of state.
925
00:38:39,074 --> 00:38:39,875
Now I'm in Texas.
926
00:38:39,875 --> 00:38:40,355
Why?
927
00:38:40,355 --> 00:38:43,255
Because this is the environment that actually
fits who I am.
928
00:38:43,980 --> 00:38:48,059
Once you have it, you're an adult, once you
have choice, once you got control, the goal is
929
00:38:48,059 --> 00:38:52,219
to get yourself into an environment that
actually matches, matches, resonates, and
930
00:38:52,219 --> 00:38:55,039
aligns with who you are and what you need.
931
00:38:55,179 --> 00:38:59,484
Because a lot of us grow up in environments
that are not where we're supposed to be at all.
932
00:38:59,545 --> 00:39:01,545
I was not supposed to be in Kansas at all.
933
00:39:01,545 --> 00:39:03,324
That's just not the right spot for me.
934
00:39:03,704 --> 00:39:05,545
It shaped my my perceptions.
935
00:39:05,545 --> 00:39:08,824
It gave me really some really interesting
understanding things that help me navigate the
936
00:39:08,824 --> 00:39:09,565
world better.
937
00:39:09,890 --> 00:39:13,489
But it's about finding the right environment
that matches what you who really are and who
938
00:39:13,489 --> 00:39:17,590
you really are because you also got beliefs
around what things should be.
939
00:39:18,849 --> 00:39:19,170
Right?
940
00:39:19,170 --> 00:39:19,570
I'm here.
941
00:39:19,570 --> 00:39:20,530
This is where things are.
942
00:39:20,530 --> 00:39:22,469
I also think this is the way things should be.
943
00:39:23,204 --> 00:39:23,704
Right?
944
00:39:23,765 --> 00:39:28,005
And finding a place that works with how you
think should be is one of the most biggest
945
00:39:28,005 --> 00:39:29,144
hacks you can have.
946
00:39:29,684 --> 00:39:29,925
Right?
947
00:39:29,925 --> 00:39:32,724
Because you're not fighting yourself and
finding the culture and finding the space all
948
00:39:32,724 --> 00:39:33,125
the time yet.
949
00:39:33,125 --> 00:39:35,785
So you can spend more time doing what you
should be doing.
950
00:39:38,369 --> 00:39:38,869
Yes.
951
00:39:39,089 --> 00:39:46,710
As we are products of different environments
and, like as you mentioned, cultural paradigms,
952
00:39:47,329 --> 00:39:50,230
family paradigms, we also inherited genes.
953
00:39:50,289 --> 00:39:53,764
That's why we look so like our parents or
relatives.
954
00:39:54,545 --> 00:39:54,784
Yes.
955
00:39:54,784 --> 00:39:59,284
And, like, all this, mixture of different Yeah.
956
00:39:59,425 --> 00:39:59,925
Influences.
957
00:40:00,784 --> 00:40:01,284
Yes.
958
00:40:01,344 --> 00:40:07,549
Our generations, our ancestors, and then, all
other influences.
959
00:40:07,929 --> 00:40:12,029
And the good news is that we have choices.
960
00:40:12,170 --> 00:40:13,609
You said we have choice.
961
00:40:13,609 --> 00:40:21,264
So whatever we had before, I think everyone
come to point that they start questioning.
962
00:40:21,404 --> 00:40:24,065
Like, why I believe this?
963
00:40:24,284 --> 00:40:28,204
Does this this belief really serves me?
964
00:40:28,204 --> 00:40:28,704
Yes.
965
00:40:28,764 --> 00:40:31,105
Do I leave the I want to leave.
966
00:40:31,260 --> 00:40:37,039
And this is when, when we ask this question, we
can start questioning our beliefs.
967
00:40:38,059 --> 00:40:47,224
And, if we find that those beliefs don't serve
us anymore, we are able to reframe and replace
968
00:40:47,364 --> 00:40:55,364
our beliefs and decide what I want to achieve,
what person I want to be, what I how I want to
969
00:40:55,364 --> 00:41:02,079
live, and start replacing beliefs according to
that new self image.
970
00:41:02,539 --> 00:41:03,340
According to the Yes.
971
00:41:04,139 --> 00:41:05,280
I have to become.
972
00:41:05,659 --> 00:41:12,304
And this is really great that we are not
victims of our societies or families or
973
00:41:12,304 --> 00:41:14,244
anything would happen in the past.
974
00:41:14,625 --> 00:41:21,025
Every day is a new beginning, and every day you
can say, this is who I want to be.
975
00:41:21,025 --> 00:41:23,510
This is who I feel I am, Yeah.
976
00:41:23,510 --> 00:41:26,710
Who I meant to be, and, this is my goal.
977
00:41:26,710 --> 00:41:28,309
This is how I want to live.
978
00:41:28,309 --> 00:41:37,285
And, every time you can just sit and, grab
piece of paper and write that script of who you
979
00:41:37,285 --> 00:41:43,605
really are, not somebody who told you who you
were before even when you were small, what
980
00:41:43,605 --> 00:41:45,224
parents told you or teachers.
981
00:41:45,364 --> 00:41:52,000
But who you want to become from the coming from
the point of that big goal that you want to
982
00:41:52,000 --> 00:41:52,500
achieve.
983
00:41:52,880 --> 00:41:55,940
Imagine that you're already there and you
achieved that.
984
00:41:56,159 --> 00:41:58,579
What kind of person you would be there?
985
00:41:59,119 --> 00:42:02,179
And start thinking and feeling from that place.
986
00:42:02,894 --> 00:42:09,695
Because, this is the only way how to really get
in the alignment with your goal because you
987
00:42:09,695 --> 00:42:17,010
cannot just go, one side and, your goal is very
different.
988
00:42:17,010 --> 00:42:20,630
You have to align to consciously,
subconsciously with your actions.
989
00:42:21,329 --> 00:42:26,949
And and for this, you have those beliefs that
you are that person, and this is the possible.
990
00:42:27,090 --> 00:42:29,510
This is what expecting for you already.
991
00:42:29,835 --> 00:42:34,394
And this is how you will start by shifting your
beliefs about yourself.
992
00:42:34,394 --> 00:42:37,855
You will start acting different and getting
different results.
993
00:42:38,875 --> 00:42:39,695
%.
994
00:42:42,460 --> 00:42:43,340
Thank you so much, Ryan.
995
00:42:43,340 --> 00:42:49,760
It was amazing, and very, very powerful and,
impactful conversation we've had today.
996
00:42:50,460 --> 00:42:51,199
Thank you.
997
00:42:51,660 --> 00:42:57,695
Is there anything that you would like to maybe
suggest or advice to people listening to us
998
00:42:57,695 --> 00:42:59,474
before we wrap up this episode?
999
00:43:00,574 --> 00:43:00,815
Sure.
1000
00:43:00,815 --> 00:43:05,635
I think the single most powerful question you
can always ask yourself is what am I missing?
1001
00:43:06,414 --> 00:43:06,894
Right?
1002
00:43:06,894 --> 00:43:10,655
Because if you write about everything's and
write about how things work, write about which
1003
00:43:10,655 --> 00:43:14,130
direction you're going, write about who you
are, everything will be working right.
1004
00:43:14,130 --> 00:43:17,089
So if you're coming up with a challenge or if
there's friction, the first thing question you
1005
00:43:17,089 --> 00:43:19,190
should always ask yourself is what am I
missing?
1006
00:43:19,489 --> 00:43:20,869
What assumption is wrong?
1007
00:43:20,929 --> 00:43:22,609
What understanding is wrong?
1008
00:43:22,609 --> 00:43:23,570
Where is the friction?
1009
00:43:23,570 --> 00:43:24,550
Why is it there?
1010
00:43:24,804 --> 00:43:25,525
What am I missing?
1011
00:43:25,525 --> 00:43:28,485
Because that's gonna get you curious as it
start leading you down to what that problem
1012
00:43:28,485 --> 00:43:29,144
really is.
1013
00:43:29,204 --> 00:43:30,905
Best question you can ever ask yourself.
1014
00:43:32,485 --> 00:43:32,724
Yeah.
1015
00:43:32,724 --> 00:43:33,605
Thank you so much.
1016
00:43:33,605 --> 00:43:33,925
Yes.
1017
00:43:33,925 --> 00:43:35,945
And be in peace with yourself.
1018
00:43:36,164 --> 00:43:37,945
Be in peace with your body.
1019
00:43:38,390 --> 00:43:44,070
Listen to your body, what it tells you because
it can always tell you if it is right thing to
1020
00:43:44,070 --> 00:43:44,230
do.
1021
00:43:44,230 --> 00:43:45,449
Listen to your intuition.
1022
00:43:45,989 --> 00:43:52,875
When you learn to live from intuition more than
from living from head, This is how you can see
1023
00:43:52,875 --> 00:43:53,275
signs.
1024
00:43:53,275 --> 00:43:57,295
You can feel that invisible hand, like, guiding
you.
1025
00:43:57,355 --> 00:43:57,594
Yeah.
1026
00:43:57,594 --> 00:44:02,555
Because you will be receiving to see those
directions and signs.
1027
00:44:02,555 --> 00:44:10,610
And this is more effective and productive than
just leaving from head and pushing things hard
1028
00:44:10,670 --> 00:44:15,170
and, denying all that guidance which we can
get.
1029
00:44:16,030 --> 00:44:16,530
Absolutely.
1030
00:44:18,534 --> 00:44:19,894
Thank you so much, Ryan.
1031
00:44:19,894 --> 00:44:26,054
So it was my pleasure to host you today at our
podcast, and, I'm looking forward to see you
1032
00:44:26,054 --> 00:44:27,114
again in the future.
1033
00:44:27,894 --> 00:44:28,394
Outstanding.
1034
00:44:28,454 --> 00:44:29,094
Thank you so much.
1035
00:44:29,094 --> 00:44:30,554
Look forward to next time.
1036
00:44:31,255 --> 00:44:32,074
You're welcome.
00:00:02,960 --> 00:00:03,439
Hello.
2
00:00:03,439 --> 00:00:03,839
Hello.
3
00:00:03,839 --> 00:00:05,859
Welcome to mindset to results.
4
00:00:05,919 --> 00:00:08,740
Today, our guest is Ryan Christensen.
5
00:00:09,359 --> 00:00:10,339
He is hypnotherapist.
6
00:00:11,279 --> 00:00:19,054
And we will speak about important topic today,
how limiting beliefs hold us back and prevent
7
00:00:19,195 --> 00:00:20,015
our success.
8
00:00:20,234 --> 00:00:21,054
Hi, Ryan.
9
00:00:21,995 --> 00:00:22,155
Hey.
10
00:00:22,155 --> 00:00:22,875
It's great to be here.
11
00:00:22,875 --> 00:00:24,175
Thank you for having me on.
12
00:00:24,714 --> 00:00:25,935
You're most welcome.
13
00:00:27,089 --> 00:00:31,730
Let's speak about this important topic, how we
can help driven business owners and
14
00:00:31,730 --> 00:00:38,049
entrepreneurs achieve their audacious goals by
understanding how they can replace their
15
00:00:38,049 --> 00:00:40,630
beliefs, which limit them from the class.
16
00:00:41,355 --> 00:00:41,855
Outstanding.
17
00:00:42,234 --> 00:00:42,734
Outstanding.
18
00:00:43,115 --> 00:00:43,615
Yeah.
19
00:00:43,675 --> 00:00:47,675
One thing to really remember about everything
is that the your unconscious mind is really
20
00:00:47,675 --> 00:00:52,475
there to interpret the world for you, kinda
filter it, and create a the reality that you
21
00:00:52,475 --> 00:00:52,954
experience.
22
00:00:52,954 --> 00:00:53,454
Right?
23
00:00:53,549 --> 00:00:58,350
There's a set of, experiments in Germany in the
nineteen seventies that pretty much prove that
24
00:00:58,350 --> 00:01:01,070
we become aware of something about it happens a
second after it happens.
25
00:01:01,070 --> 00:01:01,570
Right?
26
00:01:02,429 --> 00:01:06,590
And what your mind is doing during that time is
trying to figure out what's going on in the
27
00:01:06,590 --> 00:01:07,890
world and what it means.
28
00:01:08,204 --> 00:01:12,204
So what you believe, the meaning you assign to
different things in your life, determine how
29
00:01:12,204 --> 00:01:13,584
your mind reacts to it.
30
00:01:13,724 --> 00:01:14,224
K?
31
00:01:14,284 --> 00:01:16,864
So these limiting beliefs really shape your
reality.
32
00:01:17,804 --> 00:01:18,125
Right?
33
00:01:18,125 --> 00:01:22,364
It shows you what opportunities that it decides
to give you, what opportunities are off the
34
00:01:22,364 --> 00:01:22,864
table.
35
00:01:23,030 --> 00:01:23,530
Right?
36
00:01:23,590 --> 00:01:26,489
And also is the thing that drives your
emotional response.
37
00:01:27,189 --> 00:01:31,209
These emotional responses we have are created
by what things mean.
38
00:01:31,269 --> 00:01:31,769
Right?
39
00:01:32,229 --> 00:01:36,890
If you go out and try and, get new client,
right, and the client rejects you, says no.
40
00:01:37,084 --> 00:01:39,805
Well, if you've got a really high opinion of
yourself, you know, you're good enough.
41
00:01:39,805 --> 00:01:41,965
You you've got, you're on point, something and
so on.
42
00:01:41,965 --> 00:01:42,924
So, okay, fair enough.
43
00:01:42,924 --> 00:01:43,724
Not a good fit.
44
00:01:43,724 --> 00:01:44,524
Not the right time.
45
00:01:44,524 --> 00:01:45,905
Whatever that happens to be.
46
00:01:46,284 --> 00:01:50,299
But if you got a negative opinion of yourself,
right, if you don't think you're good enough,
47
00:01:50,299 --> 00:01:53,679
you think there's something wrong with you, if
you're trying to prove something to yourself,
48
00:01:53,979 --> 00:01:56,780
well, then that's an indication, that's proof
that you're not good enough.
49
00:01:56,780 --> 00:01:56,939
Right?
50
00:01:56,939 --> 00:01:58,640
So it tends to push that button.
51
00:01:58,700 --> 00:01:59,200
Right?
52
00:01:59,739 --> 00:02:04,305
So a lot of the things that we hold ourselves
back from are ways to keep us from having to
53
00:02:04,305 --> 00:02:06,724
deal with and having to experience emotional
pain.
54
00:02:09,665 --> 00:02:10,145
Yes.
55
00:02:10,145 --> 00:02:10,625
Yes.
56
00:02:10,625 --> 00:02:11,365
So true.
57
00:02:12,385 --> 00:02:19,979
And, usually, limiting beliefs also tell people
determine what they can believe that is
58
00:02:19,979 --> 00:02:21,120
possible for themselves.
59
00:02:21,900 --> 00:02:25,280
As in most people are conditioned to think,
small.
60
00:02:25,740 --> 00:02:33,584
When they think about goals, they just,
logically want to, allow themselves to think
61
00:02:33,584 --> 00:02:35,925
about what they can do.
62
00:02:35,985 --> 00:02:36,305
Yes.
63
00:02:36,305 --> 00:02:39,764
What they did in the past and what they think
that they can do.
64
00:02:39,824 --> 00:02:42,405
And this is how people usually limit
themselves.
65
00:02:42,830 --> 00:02:52,689
And when they set small goals, it also it also
doesn't help them to grow because small goals
66
00:02:52,909 --> 00:02:57,164
don't push them outside of outside of them
their comfort zone.
67
00:02:57,164 --> 00:03:07,500
And also, they don't have that, fire within
them with the tension to be able and to be
68
00:03:07,500 --> 00:03:11,599
ready to break through barriers, which way they
meet.
69
00:03:12,139 --> 00:03:13,580
So let's think about this.
70
00:03:14,219 --> 00:03:15,900
If we yes.
71
00:03:15,900 --> 00:03:23,914
If they want to really set big goal, how
important to question their beliefs and how too
72
00:03:23,914 --> 00:03:29,294
important to change beliefs to start seeing
yourself as that person already?
73
00:03:30,474 --> 00:03:30,715
Yeah.
74
00:03:30,715 --> 00:03:32,235
That's a really interesting topic, Anne.
75
00:03:32,235 --> 00:03:35,870
I think there's a few different things that we
can look at here that are really important.
76
00:03:36,169 --> 00:03:41,210
First of all, people have set small goals
because we don't really allow ourselves to have
77
00:03:41,210 --> 00:03:42,430
things that we don't deserve.
78
00:03:43,370 --> 00:03:43,610
Right?
79
00:03:43,610 --> 00:03:46,729
If you feel like you don't deserve that big
goal, if you feel like you don't deserve that
80
00:03:46,729 --> 00:03:49,245
big one, it's not about, oh, I can only
accomplish as much.
81
00:03:49,245 --> 00:03:52,125
It's that I don't deserve to play at that
level.
82
00:03:52,125 --> 00:03:54,465
I don't deserve to have that kind of big goal.
83
00:03:54,604 --> 00:03:57,985
So it's really around deservedness rather than
capability.
84
00:03:58,444 --> 00:04:01,425
And deservedness is all about value in your
opinion of yourself.
85
00:04:02,840 --> 00:04:07,500
A lot of people try to raise their value, raise
their opinion themselves by trying to succeed.
86
00:04:07,800 --> 00:04:07,960
Right?
87
00:04:07,960 --> 00:04:11,800
If I succeed, if I make this amount of money,
then I prove to myself I'm good enough.
88
00:04:11,800 --> 00:04:13,400
You know, I prove to myself so forth and so on.
89
00:04:13,400 --> 00:04:16,620
And that's what drives a lot of people is that
fear that they're not good enough.
90
00:04:17,104 --> 00:04:19,345
So you see this a lot in entrepreneurs and
business owners.
91
00:04:19,345 --> 00:04:25,285
It's kind of insecurity being manifested as
further, harder, bigger, more.
92
00:04:26,064 --> 00:04:26,384
Right?
93
00:04:26,384 --> 00:04:30,720
They tend to be on this treadmill where, like,
nothing they accomplish is enough, And they're
94
00:04:30,720 --> 00:04:33,360
only doing things where they got kinda like
point points to the scoreboard.
95
00:04:33,360 --> 00:04:33,519
Right?
96
00:04:33,519 --> 00:04:36,319
They've got a a scoreboard the way they're
keeping track, and the only thing they really
97
00:04:36,319 --> 00:04:37,620
do is put points on that scoreboard.
98
00:04:38,319 --> 00:04:39,919
And that's a form of insecurity as well.
99
00:04:39,919 --> 00:04:41,060
It's a trap as well.
100
00:04:41,759 --> 00:04:45,634
The people who are playing small, they don't
feel like they can get that big thing because
101
00:04:45,634 --> 00:04:46,595
it's too dangerous for them.
102
00:04:46,595 --> 00:04:47,395
It's too painful.
103
00:04:47,395 --> 00:04:47,895
Right?
104
00:04:48,035 --> 00:04:52,194
If they go out there, they take that shot, if
they if they go big and they fail, well, that
105
00:04:52,194 --> 00:04:54,595
proves they're not good enough to prove all
these negative things they're thinking about
106
00:04:54,595 --> 00:04:54,915
themselves.
107
00:04:54,915 --> 00:04:56,535
So it's safer just not to try.
108
00:04:57,350 --> 00:05:00,569
The way out of that trap is to make where
you're at more painful.
109
00:05:01,670 --> 00:05:01,990
Right?
110
00:05:01,990 --> 00:05:03,189
You're being boxed in by pain.
111
00:05:03,189 --> 00:05:04,629
You're being boxed in by fear.
112
00:05:04,629 --> 00:05:06,949
So you have to make your current situation more
painful.
113
00:05:06,949 --> 00:05:10,310
And then one of the easiest ways to do that is
things like, okay, this big thing is really
114
00:05:10,310 --> 00:05:11,129
what I want.
115
00:05:11,704 --> 00:05:11,944
Right?
116
00:05:11,944 --> 00:05:16,745
This big thing, this big change, this, this new
job, whatever that happens to be, this big goal
117
00:05:16,745 --> 00:05:18,044
is really what I want.
118
00:05:19,144 --> 00:05:24,524
And not having this right now, not being this
right now is so painful for me and so utterly
119
00:05:25,139 --> 00:05:28,100
intolerable that I have to move.
120
00:05:28,100 --> 00:05:28,419
Right?
121
00:05:28,419 --> 00:05:31,540
So it's using that pain as the driving force to
push you out of that.
122
00:05:31,540 --> 00:05:32,500
It creates that drive.
123
00:05:32,500 --> 00:05:36,339
It creates that ambition because you have to
get out of this current cage because that
124
00:05:36,339 --> 00:05:38,839
current cage is too too, too painful to be in.
125
00:05:39,384 --> 00:05:39,625
Right?
126
00:05:39,625 --> 00:05:43,004
So it's using that fear and pain as a positive
force to push you forward.
127
00:05:43,464 --> 00:05:46,745
But fundamentally, in every case, you gotta
address that underlying insecurity, that
128
00:05:46,745 --> 00:05:51,324
underlying, negative view of yourself in order
to really be able to play big.
129
00:05:53,699 --> 00:05:54,100
Yes.
130
00:05:54,339 --> 00:05:57,639
We spoke about what can help them to set big
goals.
131
00:05:57,699 --> 00:06:00,439
And now let's think about the opposite side.
132
00:06:00,580 --> 00:06:05,639
When they set big goals and then they neglect
themselves.
133
00:06:06,020 --> 00:06:06,259
They
134
00:06:06,660 --> 00:06:07,125
Mhmm.
135
00:06:07,204 --> 00:06:12,665
All their time for, their efforts to do
something for Mhmm.
136
00:06:12,805 --> 00:06:16,665
Family, for their business, and they forget
about themselves.
137
00:06:17,444 --> 00:06:23,149
They can sit in one chair for twelve hours
doing one task after another, and maybe even
138
00:06:23,149 --> 00:06:26,290
forget if they missed the lunch or dinner.
139
00:06:26,350 --> 00:06:26,830
Mhmm.
140
00:06:26,830 --> 00:06:32,770
So, how also here their limiting beliefs, why
they put themselves last?
141
00:06:32,990 --> 00:06:37,810
Instead, we know if we want to be successful,
we have to put ourselves first.
142
00:06:37,935 --> 00:06:38,834
So let's speak
143
00:06:38,868 --> 00:06:39,901
about it.
144
00:06:39,935 --> 00:06:43,615
In my book, I wrote the book winner piece, How
to End in a Conflict and Make Success
145
00:06:43,615 --> 00:06:44,014
Inevitable.
146
00:06:44,014 --> 00:06:47,774
Kind of like help people overcome all these
issues in both cases, and there's two traps we
147
00:06:47,774 --> 00:06:48,495
get into.
148
00:06:48,495 --> 00:06:51,375
The first one is we just the one we just talked
about first, which is the cage.
149
00:06:51,375 --> 00:06:51,875
Right?
150
00:06:52,009 --> 00:06:52,970
You're boxed in by pain.
151
00:06:52,970 --> 00:06:54,269
You're boxed in by fear.
152
00:06:54,410 --> 00:06:56,490
You can't really take, you know, picnic moves.
153
00:06:56,490 --> 00:06:56,649
Right?
154
00:06:56,649 --> 00:06:57,610
Your things are okay.
155
00:06:57,610 --> 00:06:58,169
Things are fine.
156
00:06:58,169 --> 00:06:58,970
The lights are on.
157
00:06:58,970 --> 00:06:59,769
Food's on the table.
158
00:06:59,769 --> 00:07:00,329
Roof overhead.
159
00:07:00,329 --> 00:07:01,229
Bills are paid.
160
00:07:01,370 --> 00:07:02,910
But you know you're playing small.
161
00:07:03,050 --> 00:07:04,750
You're living in relative mediocrity.
162
00:07:04,889 --> 00:07:06,669
You're here, and you know you should be here.
163
00:07:06,894 --> 00:07:10,094
That's where you need to use that pain to get
yourself out of the cage, to get yourself
164
00:07:10,094 --> 00:07:14,334
moving, to start making those big changes so
that you can create space to do that in your
165
00:07:14,334 --> 00:07:14,834
work.
166
00:07:15,375 --> 00:07:20,310
Somebody who's always, always on the go, always
working, always on the grind, neglecting
167
00:07:20,310 --> 00:07:23,990
themselves, their family, their life gets
really, really narrow, they're on something I
168
00:07:23,990 --> 00:07:24,810
call the treadmill.
169
00:07:25,349 --> 00:07:25,849
Okay?
170
00:07:25,909 --> 00:07:27,689
They've got this Batman origin story.
171
00:07:27,829 --> 00:07:28,229
Right?
172
00:07:28,229 --> 00:07:31,669
They've got this, you know, situation that was
bad when they were young or whatever it was,
173
00:07:31,669 --> 00:07:32,889
but they found a way up.
174
00:07:33,404 --> 00:07:35,884
For entrepreneurs, that's business, that's
success, that's academics.
175
00:07:35,884 --> 00:07:36,045
Right?
176
00:07:36,045 --> 00:07:37,085
And so they say, uh-huh.
177
00:07:37,085 --> 00:07:39,884
All you need to do is just keep doing this, and
I'm gonna stay away from that.
178
00:07:39,884 --> 00:07:40,384
Right?
179
00:07:41,324 --> 00:07:46,045
And the trouble is or the difficult thing is
the tricky thing about this trap is that you're
180
00:07:46,045 --> 00:07:47,425
doing what you wanna do.
181
00:07:47,819 --> 00:07:50,459
You're doing something you're good at, and
you're getting rewarded for it.
182
00:07:50,459 --> 00:07:51,919
You're getting rewarded very well.
183
00:07:52,139 --> 00:07:53,979
In fact, everybody's saying, man, you're
awesome.
184
00:07:53,979 --> 00:07:54,620
This is amazing.
185
00:07:54,620 --> 00:07:55,839
How can I be you?
186
00:07:56,300 --> 00:07:56,539
Right?
187
00:07:56,539 --> 00:07:57,919
How can I do what you're doing?
188
00:07:58,060 --> 00:08:01,899
So all the external rewards, everything in the
message from the outside world is like you're
189
00:08:01,899 --> 00:08:03,120
doing it exactly right.
190
00:08:03,875 --> 00:08:08,115
And you can tell that you're in the trap when
you can't take your foot off the gas, when you
191
00:08:08,115 --> 00:08:09,175
can't slow down.
192
00:08:09,875 --> 00:08:12,915
Because when you slow down, all those little
demons and all those little dark thoughts and
193
00:08:12,915 --> 00:08:15,415
everything else kind of come up to bite you, so
you gotta keep running.
194
00:08:16,290 --> 00:08:20,389
And what happens is as you keep moving and
you're realizing it's not working for you,
195
00:08:20,529 --> 00:08:22,470
right, you actually start doing it more.
196
00:08:22,930 --> 00:08:26,470
Because you only got one tool in the toolbox
and that's succeed, succeed, succeed.
197
00:08:26,769 --> 00:08:31,435
And so you sacrifice everything else to make
that treadmill run faster to keep those demons
198
00:08:31,435 --> 00:08:32,154
from catching up.
199
00:08:32,154 --> 00:08:32,654
Right?
200
00:08:33,195 --> 00:08:36,394
The way you need to do it, take a look there is
like you kinda need to just, like, take a look
201
00:08:36,475 --> 00:08:38,735
take a step back and look at your life as a
whole.
202
00:08:39,434 --> 00:08:40,654
Is it actually working?
203
00:08:41,434 --> 00:08:44,654
Is this one thing you're doing the only thing
that's working in your life?
204
00:08:44,980 --> 00:08:46,759
Because if so, you're not really living.
205
00:08:47,779 --> 00:08:50,440
Ask yourself, if I took a week off, how would I
feel?
206
00:08:51,620 --> 00:08:56,019
If it scares the crap out of you to take a week
off or two weeks off for a month, and you're
207
00:08:56,019 --> 00:08:56,580
like, oh my god.
208
00:08:56,580 --> 00:08:57,620
I can't possibly do that.
209
00:08:57,620 --> 00:08:57,940
Okay.
210
00:08:57,940 --> 00:09:00,120
Then maybe what you're doing isn't really a
choice.
211
00:09:01,745 --> 00:09:01,985
Right?
212
00:09:01,985 --> 00:09:03,904
If you can't say no, it's not really a choice.
213
00:09:03,904 --> 00:09:04,725
It's a compulsion.
214
00:09:05,664 --> 00:09:05,824
Right?
215
00:09:05,824 --> 00:09:06,625
And that's a good sign.
216
00:09:06,625 --> 00:09:11,345
Like, okay, I need to take a I need to take a
look at what's going on and why and figure out
217
00:09:11,345 --> 00:09:16,340
what's driving me, what these fears are that I
keep running from and fix those.
218
00:09:16,559 --> 00:09:19,759
Because once you fix those, then you can put
yourself first, then you can take care of
219
00:09:19,759 --> 00:09:20,720
yourself and your family.
220
00:09:20,720 --> 00:09:21,220
Right?
221
00:09:22,000 --> 00:09:25,440
And a lot of ways, we don't let ourselves do
that because we feel like we don't deserve to
222
00:09:25,440 --> 00:09:27,120
because we haven't succeeded enough yet.
223
00:09:27,120 --> 00:09:29,460
That score in our scoreboard isn't high enough
yet.
224
00:09:30,125 --> 00:09:30,365
Right?
225
00:09:30,365 --> 00:09:32,625
But for some reason, that score is never
enough.
226
00:09:34,445 --> 00:09:34,764
Right?
227
00:09:34,764 --> 00:09:39,485
We can't put ourselves first until we recognize
the trap we're in and take care of whatever
228
00:09:39,485 --> 00:09:41,825
fear, whatever the pain is that we're running
from.
229
00:09:42,044 --> 00:09:45,105
Then and only then we'll be able to step back
and live that bigger life.
230
00:09:47,320 --> 00:09:47,720
Yes.
231
00:09:47,720 --> 00:09:48,220
Yes.
232
00:09:48,679 --> 00:09:56,679
And, if people don't put themselves first, that
run can be not long run.
233
00:09:56,679 --> 00:09:57,000
Yes.
234
00:09:57,000 --> 00:09:57,799
And Yeah.
235
00:09:58,965 --> 00:10:02,665
There are so many people who get, heart attacks
in fifties.
236
00:10:03,125 --> 00:10:03,445
Yes.
237
00:10:03,445 --> 00:10:04,404
And Yes.
238
00:10:04,485 --> 00:10:06,504
Now is, very common.
239
00:10:07,205 --> 00:10:11,465
And, people don't think that it can happen with
them.
240
00:10:11,919 --> 00:10:17,540
They think that they have some people live,
like, they have 5,000 agreement.
241
00:10:18,879 --> 00:10:19,379
Yeah.
242
00:10:19,519 --> 00:10:24,820
And and they think that it can happen with
everyone, but not with me.
243
00:10:24,879 --> 00:10:25,379
Yes.
244
00:10:25,440 --> 00:10:25,940
Yeah.
245
00:10:26,664 --> 00:10:36,825
It's such like, I would say, not not getting as
it is real as we have these resources, which is
246
00:10:36,825 --> 00:10:38,024
our body physical.
247
00:10:38,024 --> 00:10:39,899
We have physical resources.
248
00:10:40,120 --> 00:10:48,940
And if we don't care about ourselves, these
resources can be, not maybe enough.
249
00:10:49,160 --> 00:10:49,480
Yes.
250
00:10:49,480 --> 00:10:51,660
For us with our big goal.
251
00:10:52,115 --> 00:10:54,514
So it is all good to put yourself first.
252
00:10:54,514 --> 00:10:59,174
And of course, you only can put yourself first
when you believe that you're worthy.
253
00:10:59,475 --> 00:10:59,794
Yes.
254
00:10:59,794 --> 00:11:00,995
That you love yourself.
255
00:11:00,995 --> 00:11:01,815
You're worthy.
256
00:11:02,274 --> 00:11:08,429
And also, when people love themselves, they
respect themselves, it will affect how they
257
00:11:08,429 --> 00:11:19,815
deal with other people because other people if
you towards, us is our attitude towards
258
00:11:19,875 --> 00:11:21,735
ourselves, and it is reflection.
259
00:11:22,034 --> 00:11:22,274
Yeah.
260
00:11:22,274 --> 00:11:23,355
How people Mhmm.
261
00:11:23,554 --> 00:11:24,674
Think about themselves.
262
00:11:24,674 --> 00:11:27,334
This is what they project on others.
263
00:11:28,034 --> 00:11:29,254
And, Yeah.
264
00:11:29,475 --> 00:11:35,409
We can meet people who just enter the room, and
we can see, wow, this is such interesting
265
00:11:35,409 --> 00:11:36,690
person because Mhmm.
266
00:11:36,690 --> 00:11:36,809
Yeah.
267
00:11:36,929 --> 00:11:44,289
In the room with that confidence, with smile,
with that, great energy, and everyone can feel
268
00:11:44,289 --> 00:11:45,889
that energy and just look at this.
269
00:11:45,889 --> 00:11:50,134
What is it interesting about that person even
without speaking with them?
270
00:11:50,995 --> 00:11:51,075
Yes.
271
00:11:51,075 --> 00:11:59,875
And on the contrary, another person who wants
to be maybe judged or, told in the his
272
00:11:59,875 --> 00:12:03,095
childhood that he is not enough, that he will
not be good.
273
00:12:04,089 --> 00:12:06,830
He has that belief that he is not good.
274
00:12:07,129 --> 00:12:11,450
And whatever he he does, he brings that energy
with him.
275
00:12:11,450 --> 00:12:12,529
And so when Yeah.
276
00:12:12,809 --> 00:12:15,945
Person comes in the room, he usually comes like
this.
277
00:12:16,585 --> 00:12:16,904
Yes.
278
00:12:16,904 --> 00:12:20,285
And other people also can say, oh, who is this?
279
00:12:20,504 --> 00:12:21,004
Yes.
280
00:12:21,384 --> 00:12:22,445
What this person?
281
00:12:23,065 --> 00:12:24,285
Does he need help?
282
00:12:24,985 --> 00:12:32,190
And so it communication happens in this
nonverbal way, how subconscious communicate,
283
00:12:32,889 --> 00:12:34,110
and that is important.
284
00:12:34,250 --> 00:12:34,569
Yes.
285
00:12:34,569 --> 00:12:40,250
So if we really want to be successful, we'll
have to love ourselves, respect ourselves, have
286
00:12:40,250 --> 00:12:41,549
boundaries also.
287
00:12:41,850 --> 00:12:48,545
And this is also includes, I don't say work
life balance because I don't believe in
288
00:12:48,545 --> 00:12:49,024
balance.
289
00:12:49,024 --> 00:12:51,524
But, I would say work life harmony.
290
00:12:51,665 --> 00:12:52,165
Yes.
291
00:12:52,705 --> 00:12:53,105
Mhmm.
292
00:12:53,105 --> 00:12:55,045
It may be not will be balanced.
293
00:12:55,184 --> 00:12:55,425
Yeah.
294
00:12:55,425 --> 00:13:00,170
Because it is really, I think, impossible to
have balance because we always have something
295
00:13:00,170 --> 00:13:01,710
what is priority today.
296
00:13:02,170 --> 00:13:02,730
So Sure.
297
00:13:02,809 --> 00:13:08,350
We can work one week more, and then we can take
one week vacation with family.
298
00:13:08,570 --> 00:13:11,290
So this time Yeah.
299
00:13:11,290 --> 00:13:11,769
So Yeah.
300
00:13:11,769 --> 00:13:12,509
And that's
301
00:13:13,195 --> 00:13:19,115
that's kind of what I look at work life balance
as is, like, being able to prioritize the right
302
00:13:19,115 --> 00:13:20,174
thing at the right time.
303
00:13:21,034 --> 00:13:21,534
Right?
304
00:13:21,595 --> 00:13:24,815
To where there's no one area of your life that
gets sacrificed.
305
00:13:25,230 --> 00:13:25,389
Right?
306
00:13:25,389 --> 00:13:26,830
Where you're always handling the basics.
307
00:13:26,830 --> 00:13:27,789
You always got that foundation.
308
00:13:27,789 --> 00:13:27,950
Sure.
309
00:13:27,950 --> 00:13:29,230
Whatever that happens to be for you.
310
00:13:29,230 --> 00:13:32,110
Like, six hours of sleep or eight hours of
sleep.
311
00:13:32,110 --> 00:13:33,309
Are you working out three times a week?
312
00:13:33,309 --> 00:13:34,509
You're working out five times a week?
313
00:13:34,509 --> 00:13:35,470
You're just going for walks?
314
00:13:35,470 --> 00:13:36,429
Whatever that looks like for you.
315
00:13:36,429 --> 00:13:40,205
Whatever you need to do to kinda, like,
maintain that body at a reasonable function,
316
00:13:40,264 --> 00:13:41,245
that's your foundation.
317
00:13:42,184 --> 00:13:43,485
But life moves in seasons.
318
00:13:44,504 --> 00:13:46,684
There's no one day that's gonna be like the
other.
319
00:13:46,904 --> 00:13:47,404
Right?
320
00:13:47,625 --> 00:13:49,705
So it's a matter of, like, realizing, okay.
321
00:13:49,705 --> 00:13:50,504
I'm in this season.
322
00:13:50,504 --> 00:13:53,705
So right now I'm prioritizing this, so I'm
gonna be doing more of this and less of the
323
00:13:53,705 --> 00:13:53,879
other.
324
00:13:54,519 --> 00:13:56,279
And over time, that season's gonna change.
325
00:13:56,279 --> 00:13:57,320
I'm gonna do less of this thing.
326
00:13:57,320 --> 00:13:59,100
I'm gonna do more of this other thing instead.
327
00:14:00,039 --> 00:14:00,539
Right?
328
00:14:01,000 --> 00:14:06,679
But it's taking a a back taking a a bigger look
at things, taking a, like, a a 30,000 foot
329
00:14:06,679 --> 00:14:07,080
view.
330
00:14:07,080 --> 00:14:07,320
Right?
331
00:14:07,320 --> 00:14:12,134
Seeing the forest rather than the trees Because
it's very easy to get caught up in the day to
332
00:14:12,134 --> 00:14:12,295
day.
333
00:14:12,295 --> 00:14:15,975
It's very easy to get, you know, dealing with
the monster of the week and the problem, day
334
00:14:15,975 --> 00:14:20,215
and the fire that's in front of you right now
and get lost in just, like, looking at these
335
00:14:20,215 --> 00:14:21,915
trees and miss that bigger picture.
336
00:14:22,500 --> 00:14:25,160
Especially because as entrepreneurs, we love
fixing things.
337
00:14:25,700 --> 00:14:26,420
We love problems.
338
00:14:26,420 --> 00:14:28,420
We love just, like, you know, let me what's the
next problem?
339
00:14:28,420 --> 00:14:29,379
What's the next challenge?
340
00:14:29,379 --> 00:14:30,740
What's the next thing to do?
341
00:14:30,740 --> 00:14:34,920
And we're always kinda, like, looking for that
next lever we can pull to move things forward.
342
00:14:35,795 --> 00:14:40,995
And if we don't take a step back to look at
that bigger picture, we might be heading in the
343
00:14:40,995 --> 00:14:41,735
wrong direction.
344
00:14:42,595 --> 00:14:42,835
Right?
345
00:14:42,835 --> 00:14:46,675
We picked a goal, picked a direction based on
what we understood at the time, based on who we
346
00:14:46,675 --> 00:14:49,335
were at the time, based on what we were looking
for at the time.
347
00:14:50,409 --> 00:14:54,269
You know, six months, a year down the road, is
this still the right place to go?
348
00:14:54,970 --> 00:14:56,009
Is this still the right direction?
349
00:14:56,009 --> 00:14:57,549
Am I still doing the right way?
350
00:14:58,409 --> 00:15:02,570
You know, so taking a step back, setting aside
some time, once every two, three months or so,
351
00:15:02,570 --> 00:15:03,674
let's take this out as, okay.
352
00:15:03,914 --> 00:15:05,195
Is this still the right direction?
353
00:15:05,195 --> 00:15:06,394
Am I still going the right place?
354
00:15:06,394 --> 00:15:08,014
Am I still doing this right way?
355
00:15:08,794 --> 00:15:11,534
Am I doing too much of one thing and too little
of another?
356
00:15:12,154 --> 00:15:12,475
Right?
357
00:15:12,475 --> 00:15:14,714
Am I sacrificing too much in one area of my
life?
358
00:15:14,714 --> 00:15:15,214
Right?
359
00:15:15,355 --> 00:15:20,660
Do I have everything I need as a person from
all these different areas of my life.
360
00:15:20,660 --> 00:15:21,160
Right?
361
00:15:21,779 --> 00:15:24,019
Because it's not enough to be focused on
business.
362
00:15:24,019 --> 00:15:25,299
You gotta have that health thing.
363
00:15:25,299 --> 00:15:25,799
Absolutely.
364
00:15:26,420 --> 00:15:27,379
Family is important.
365
00:15:27,379 --> 00:15:28,340
Friends are important.
366
00:15:28,340 --> 00:15:29,559
Social times are important.
367
00:15:29,779 --> 00:15:31,320
For spiritual, that's important.
368
00:15:31,615 --> 00:15:33,295
Rest and relaxation is important.
369
00:15:33,295 --> 00:15:33,455
Right?
370
00:15:33,455 --> 00:15:37,715
So you've got all these different, areas of
your life, different possible priorities.
371
00:15:38,815 --> 00:15:41,934
Are you actually getting what you need from all
these different areas?
372
00:15:41,934 --> 00:15:44,174
Because if you're not, that's a hole.
373
00:15:44,174 --> 00:15:45,075
That's a gap.
374
00:15:45,134 --> 00:15:46,115
That's an insufficiency.
375
00:15:47,420 --> 00:15:51,200
That's actually holding you back in some way in
the areas that are really important to you.
376
00:15:51,980 --> 00:15:52,220
Alright.
377
00:15:52,220 --> 00:15:56,779
So it's about taking that bigger look at things
and making sure you've got what you need in all
378
00:15:56,779 --> 00:16:00,399
these different areas so that you can bring
your full self to any endeavor.
379
00:16:04,434 --> 00:16:04,934
Yes.
380
00:16:05,075 --> 00:16:12,355
And, another one, I think, believe is, that I
want to achieve the goal.
381
00:16:12,355 --> 00:16:14,195
I have to work hard.
382
00:16:14,195 --> 00:16:16,295
I will I have to be short.
383
00:16:16,990 --> 00:16:24,110
And, I like how Christ Preacher in his book,
you squared, wrote about quantum leaps and
384
00:16:24,110 --> 00:16:25,250
effortless way.
385
00:16:26,110 --> 00:16:34,785
And said there that, in many cases, that
believe that I have to push hard and do harder
386
00:16:34,785 --> 00:16:38,004
the same things is also the problem.
387
00:16:38,144 --> 00:16:45,069
And in many cases, you have just to shift your
perception and, look, as you said, look bigger
388
00:16:45,069 --> 00:16:52,189
picture or look from different perspective and
start doing things different and find Yeah.
389
00:16:52,350 --> 00:16:53,329
This way.
390
00:16:53,789 --> 00:16:54,750
So you don't
391
00:16:56,884 --> 00:16:57,365
Yeah.
392
00:16:57,365 --> 00:17:00,245
Well, I'm I'm almost 50 years old, so I get to
say stuff like this.
393
00:17:00,245 --> 00:17:04,585
But, like, back in my day, we had this phrase
called work work smarter, not harder.
394
00:17:05,204 --> 00:17:07,684
The idea was not do the hard thing.
395
00:17:07,684 --> 00:17:11,384
It's figure out how to do it most effectively,
most efficiently, most intelligently.
396
00:17:12,059 --> 00:17:12,220
Right?
397
00:17:12,220 --> 00:17:13,440
We're supposed to be smart.
398
00:17:13,740 --> 00:17:14,940
We're not supposed to be working hard.
399
00:17:14,940 --> 00:17:16,880
We're supposed to figure out the best way to do
it.
400
00:17:17,419 --> 00:17:23,339
So for one thing, part of it's all, like,
hustle culture work hard thing is if I can show
401
00:17:23,339 --> 00:17:28,724
myself I'm working hard and putting all these
inputs in, right, that's a way to keep myself
402
00:17:28,724 --> 00:17:32,884
busy to demonstrate that I'm on the road to to
to show myself that I'm heading in the right
403
00:17:32,884 --> 00:17:33,384
direction.
404
00:17:34,325 --> 00:17:36,904
But effort for the sake of effort doesn't get
you anywhere.
405
00:17:38,085 --> 00:17:40,505
Grinding for the sake of grinding doesn't get
you anywhere.
406
00:17:41,130 --> 00:17:41,369
Right?
407
00:17:41,369 --> 00:17:43,369
And it actually becomes its own goal.
408
00:17:43,369 --> 00:17:43,690
Right?
409
00:17:43,690 --> 00:17:45,470
It becomes its own way to measure things.
410
00:17:46,089 --> 00:17:46,410
Right?
411
00:17:46,410 --> 00:17:51,630
Because this idea that what we measure gets
managed, the KPIs, the ways we measure things,
412
00:17:51,769 --> 00:17:53,549
determines how we go about stuff.
413
00:17:53,904 --> 00:17:58,384
And if you're always focused on time, effort,
and input, and you're not looking at output and
414
00:17:58,384 --> 00:18:01,765
results, then you don't know how your machine
is broken.
415
00:18:03,184 --> 00:18:03,684
Right?
416
00:18:04,305 --> 00:18:08,865
If you're working hard, the first thing you
need to ask yourself is why the heck is this so
417
00:18:08,865 --> 00:18:09,365
hard?
418
00:18:10,450 --> 00:18:12,130
Why am I putting so much work in?
419
00:18:12,130 --> 00:18:12,630
Right?
420
00:18:13,649 --> 00:18:18,849
Because if it's complicated, if you have to
work really hard, you don't understand whatever
421
00:18:18,849 --> 00:18:19,829
it is you're doing.
422
00:18:21,089 --> 00:18:21,329
Right?
423
00:18:21,329 --> 00:18:25,974
If you talk about effortless success and
effortless work, if you how you wanna call it,
424
00:18:25,974 --> 00:18:30,454
talk about being in flow, that's the space
where you actually understand the process.
425
00:18:30,454 --> 00:18:34,295
You actually understand how the whole machine
works, and you're able to move through this
426
00:18:34,295 --> 00:18:39,255
process smoothly because you figured out where
all the friction points are and how to manage
427
00:18:39,255 --> 00:18:39,755
them.
428
00:18:41,309 --> 00:18:41,630
Right?
429
00:18:41,630 --> 00:18:46,029
So if you don't if you're working hard, if it's
not simple, if it's not a % clear, if you don't
430
00:18:46,029 --> 00:18:50,130
don't know why things are the way they are, you
don't actually understand the system.
431
00:18:50,670 --> 00:18:52,829
In which case, you need to take a step back and
say, okay.
432
00:18:52,829 --> 00:18:53,809
What am I missing?
433
00:18:54,429 --> 00:18:57,544
I'm grinding really hard, putting in a lot of
work and effort.
434
00:18:57,924 --> 00:18:59,304
What am I seeing as the results?
435
00:18:59,444 --> 00:19:00,325
I should be seeing this.
436
00:19:00,325 --> 00:19:01,284
I'm seeing this instead.
437
00:19:01,284 --> 00:19:01,605
Great.
438
00:19:01,605 --> 00:19:02,505
What's the disconnect?
439
00:19:02,565 --> 00:19:03,544
What am I missing?
440
00:19:04,484 --> 00:19:04,984
Right?
441
00:19:05,125 --> 00:19:07,125
Because nobody cares about the effort.
442
00:19:07,125 --> 00:19:08,984
Everybody should be caring about the result.
443
00:19:10,039 --> 00:19:14,700
If the effort is the thing you care about, it's
just a different form of procrastination.
444
00:19:15,720 --> 00:19:17,500
It's just a different form of self sabotage.
445
00:19:18,279 --> 00:19:20,700
It's just a way to hold yourself back.
446
00:19:22,255 --> 00:19:22,575
Right?
447
00:19:22,575 --> 00:19:26,734
And just using that as a scoreboard rather than
the results, and the results are really what
448
00:19:26,734 --> 00:19:27,714
everybody wants.
449
00:19:28,174 --> 00:19:29,795
It's a way to play small.
450
00:19:33,900 --> 00:19:34,140
Yes.
451
00:19:34,140 --> 00:19:37,200
And here, you, mentioned procrastination.
452
00:19:38,220 --> 00:19:38,539
Mhmm.
453
00:19:38,539 --> 00:19:42,080
How procrastination is related to beliefs?
454
00:19:42,700 --> 00:19:43,200
Mhmm.
455
00:19:43,820 --> 00:19:45,980
Where I see it, number one, I actually love
procrastination.
456
00:19:45,980 --> 00:19:47,200
I think it's amazing.
457
00:19:47,464 --> 00:19:51,464
But that's partly because I have ADHD, and so
getting things done at the last moment was
458
00:19:51,464 --> 00:19:53,325
always, like, that's just what's gonna happen.
459
00:19:53,625 --> 00:19:57,384
It doesn't matter if I've got a day, a week, a
month, or a year to do the thing.
460
00:19:57,384 --> 00:19:59,670
It's always gonna be doing done the day it's
due.
461
00:19:59,910 --> 00:20:01,590
Like, that's always gonna be what it is.
462
00:20:01,590 --> 00:20:05,029
And it used to cause me a lot of friction and a
lot of pain and just like, you know, it says,
463
00:20:05,029 --> 00:20:06,650
why can't this get done earlier?
464
00:20:07,190 --> 00:20:10,250
And so I realized that procrastination means
one of three things.
465
00:20:10,630 --> 00:20:14,890
Either I'm doing the wrong thing, I'm doing it
the wrong way, I'm doing it the wrong time.
466
00:20:15,825 --> 00:20:16,325
K?
467
00:20:16,865 --> 00:20:18,865
That per that last one is really kind of
important.
468
00:20:18,865 --> 00:20:19,365
Alright?
469
00:20:19,664 --> 00:20:23,924
In The United States, taxes are due, April 15
of every year.
470
00:20:24,785 --> 00:20:26,804
I don't have to do them January 1.
471
00:20:27,105 --> 00:20:28,549
I don't have to do them February 3.
472
00:20:28,549 --> 00:20:29,930
I don't have to do it March 12.
473
00:20:30,309 --> 00:20:30,789
It's done.
474
00:20:30,789 --> 00:20:31,990
It's due by April 15.
475
00:20:31,990 --> 00:20:35,690
So sometime between January 1 and April 15, the
taxes have to be done.
476
00:20:36,390 --> 00:20:39,029
So I'm like, oh, I need to do my taxes, and my
brain is saying, no.
477
00:20:39,029 --> 00:20:39,930
Not right now.
478
00:20:40,230 --> 00:20:40,630
Why?
479
00:20:40,630 --> 00:20:41,849
Because you've got time.
480
00:20:42,454 --> 00:20:46,694
There's gonna be another time down the road
where that's gonna be a more appropriate time
481
00:20:46,694 --> 00:20:47,575
for you to sit down and do that.
482
00:20:47,575 --> 00:20:50,055
And you're gonna know what that is because
you're gonna have that impulse of, okay, now's
483
00:20:50,055 --> 00:20:50,714
the time.
484
00:20:51,174 --> 00:20:51,414
Right?
485
00:20:51,414 --> 00:20:55,414
So if you're setting these arbitrary times,
arbitrary spaces, so I'm gonna do this this
486
00:20:55,414 --> 00:20:55,914
time.
487
00:20:56,055 --> 00:20:57,355
And your mind is like, no.
488
00:20:58,410 --> 00:21:01,450
Maybe it's just that's the wrong time to do it
because it's due way down the road, and you got
489
00:21:01,450 --> 00:21:02,830
other things that are more important.
490
00:21:03,769 --> 00:21:06,890
The other thing is you might be doing the wrong
thing.
491
00:21:06,890 --> 00:21:10,330
Sometimes the reason we're holding the house
back from going certain directions is like,
492
00:21:10,330 --> 00:21:12,430
that's not actually the direction you should be
going.
493
00:21:13,565 --> 00:21:14,444
You pick that one.
494
00:21:14,444 --> 00:21:14,924
Sure.
495
00:21:14,924 --> 00:21:16,444
You think it's gonna do a certain thing.
496
00:21:16,444 --> 00:21:16,944
Sure.
497
00:21:17,164 --> 00:21:19,025
But the rest of you is saying that ain't it.
498
00:21:20,204 --> 00:21:21,724
So take a step back and say, okay.
499
00:21:21,724 --> 00:21:23,585
Is this actually what I should be doing?
500
00:21:24,765 --> 00:21:25,085
Right.
501
00:21:25,085 --> 00:21:27,210
Talk about the whole grinding thing, working
really hard.
502
00:21:27,769 --> 00:21:29,710
Is this actually what I should be doing?
503
00:21:30,329 --> 00:21:30,730
Right?
504
00:21:30,730 --> 00:21:32,750
Because maybe I should be doing something else
instead.
505
00:21:32,970 --> 00:21:33,609
Take this step back.
506
00:21:33,609 --> 00:21:34,589
What am I missing?
507
00:21:35,690 --> 00:21:36,970
The third one's really interesting.
508
00:21:36,970 --> 00:21:39,529
It's it's, this idea that you're doing it the
wrong way.
509
00:21:39,529 --> 00:21:39,929
Right?
510
00:21:39,929 --> 00:21:41,950
Talked about how create a book.
511
00:21:42,445 --> 00:21:45,565
Spent about six or seven months before I
actually got down to writing it, trying to
512
00:21:45,565 --> 00:21:48,085
figure out the structure of it, trying to
figure out how to say what I was gonna say, and
513
00:21:48,085 --> 00:21:49,345
I just like getting nowhere.
514
00:21:49,644 --> 00:21:52,445
I was even working with a friend trying to,
like, mind map all these different topics and
515
00:21:52,445 --> 00:21:53,825
stuff and really getting nowhere.
516
00:21:54,365 --> 00:21:57,269
And he told me about this guy named Joshua
Leiszek, who's a ghostwriter.
517
00:21:57,490 --> 00:21:57,649
Right?
518
00:21:57,649 --> 00:21:59,009
He helps authors write their book.
519
00:21:59,009 --> 00:22:01,009
He basically writes books for people.
520
00:22:01,009 --> 00:22:01,509
Right?
521
00:22:02,450 --> 00:22:02,929
I sat there.
522
00:22:02,929 --> 00:22:04,450
I was like, that's interesting concept.
523
00:22:04,450 --> 00:22:04,769
Sat there.
524
00:22:04,769 --> 00:22:08,630
I read read his book about, you know, called,
So Good They Call You Fake.
525
00:22:09,404 --> 00:22:11,744
It's like, oh, I'm doing this wrong.
526
00:22:11,965 --> 00:22:13,424
I'm not supposed to write the book.
527
00:22:13,965 --> 00:22:14,705
He is.
528
00:22:15,805 --> 00:22:19,485
Because he was so good at laying out why things
were the way we are, just how to move through
529
00:22:19,485 --> 00:22:20,144
that process.
530
00:22:20,205 --> 00:22:21,985
And he's hyping just like I am.
531
00:22:22,269 --> 00:22:25,569
So he understands what I'm trying to do and
will be able to convey that better.
532
00:22:26,109 --> 00:22:27,170
Plus, I'm autistic.
533
00:22:29,710 --> 00:22:34,029
Be trying to figure out how to convey all these
complex, big, heavy subjects to to a normal
534
00:22:34,029 --> 00:22:37,705
person so they can get it is incredibly hard
because I don't understand how you people see
535
00:22:37,705 --> 00:22:38,285
the world.
536
00:22:39,065 --> 00:22:44,984
I needed a translator to translate this weird
thing in my head to something that everybody
537
00:22:44,984 --> 00:22:46,765
else could actually use and play with.
538
00:22:47,480 --> 00:22:48,680
I was doing it the wrong way.
539
00:22:48,680 --> 00:22:50,080
I wasn't supposed to be writing that book
myself.
540
00:22:50,080 --> 00:22:51,980
I was supposed to find the right person to
translate.
541
00:22:52,359 --> 00:22:53,799
That's the guy, Joshua Leisig.
542
00:22:53,799 --> 00:22:55,180
Hired him to write the book.
543
00:22:55,320 --> 00:22:58,359
Sat there and dumped probably ten or twelve
hours with audio, just, like, word vomited
544
00:22:58,359 --> 00:22:59,625
everything I could think of them.
545
00:22:59,865 --> 00:23:03,644
A week later, he had a first draft that's about
80% or 80% there.
546
00:23:04,664 --> 00:23:06,025
One week after that, it's like, here.
547
00:23:06,025 --> 00:23:07,384
Take all this, make sense.
548
00:23:07,384 --> 00:23:07,704
Okay.
549
00:23:07,704 --> 00:23:08,525
Here you go.
550
00:23:09,144 --> 00:23:11,944
I banged my head against work for seven months
on that thing.
551
00:23:11,944 --> 00:23:13,484
One week later, he's got it.
552
00:23:13,704 --> 00:23:15,164
I was doing it the wrong way.
553
00:23:17,200 --> 00:23:17,359
Mhmm.
554
00:23:17,359 --> 00:23:18,900
He has such a great example.
555
00:23:19,359 --> 00:23:19,839
Yes.
556
00:23:19,839 --> 00:23:20,339
Mhmm.
557
00:23:20,480 --> 00:23:23,779
Again, it says about feelings.
558
00:23:23,919 --> 00:23:27,759
Connect to your feelings and to find what you
really want to do.
559
00:23:27,759 --> 00:23:31,684
Because when you find what you want to do, you
will want to do that.
560
00:23:31,684 --> 00:23:32,164
Yes?
561
00:23:32,164 --> 00:23:34,025
Because it's aligned with you.
562
00:23:34,404 --> 00:23:40,325
And if you feel resistance that your body
doesn't want to do it or your mind doesn't want
563
00:23:40,325 --> 00:23:41,684
to do is Yeah.
564
00:23:42,005 --> 00:23:42,744
Your perception.
565
00:23:43,045 --> 00:23:44,585
Look look for the reason.
566
00:23:44,644 --> 00:23:46,025
What may be the reason.
567
00:23:46,539 --> 00:23:53,259
If there is something that is has to be done
and you don't want to do, maybe it is not what
568
00:23:53,259 --> 00:23:54,220
you have to do.
569
00:23:54,220 --> 00:24:01,054
Maybe you have to on things which you have to
do and nobody else can do, and you can delegate
570
00:24:01,194 --> 00:24:06,015
these tasks for your assistant or somebody else
to accomplish.
571
00:24:06,554 --> 00:24:07,434
And so you Sure.
572
00:24:07,434 --> 00:24:07,934
Absolutely.
573
00:24:07,994 --> 00:24:08,494
Yeah.
574
00:24:08,875 --> 00:24:09,194
Yes.
575
00:24:09,194 --> 00:24:18,150
So you find what is that makes you in the flow
when you don't think that you have to do it.
576
00:24:18,150 --> 00:24:24,150
You're just doing it because it is just like it
just aligns with who you are, aligns with your
577
00:24:24,150 --> 00:24:27,049
feelings, emotions, and it brings you joy.
578
00:24:27,214 --> 00:24:30,195
When you do that, it gives you good feelings.
579
00:24:30,255 --> 00:24:35,295
Not that you do something that other people can
do and that you don't like to do, and you would
580
00:24:35,295 --> 00:24:39,075
do it like struggling that pushing yourself
that I have to do that.
581
00:24:39,295 --> 00:24:45,200
And in many cases, this is when
procrastinations come and things stay not to be
582
00:24:45,200 --> 00:24:45,700
done.
583
00:24:46,000 --> 00:24:51,919
But it is not because you are, like, wrong or
you don't do things on time.
584
00:24:51,919 --> 00:24:57,375
This is just current reason because you didn't
delegate these things to be done by other
585
00:24:57,375 --> 00:25:00,755
people who you know would do that very well.
586
00:25:00,894 --> 00:25:01,215
Yes.
587
00:25:01,215 --> 00:25:07,920
Because some people for example, me, I cannot
do a routine.
588
00:25:08,140 --> 00:25:10,000
I cannot do things.
589
00:25:10,619 --> 00:25:18,299
I didn't now it is very I think you said that
you had HDD, and I think I also have that
590
00:25:18,299 --> 00:25:19,920
because I just look symptoms.
591
00:25:21,019 --> 00:25:21,660
I Yeah.
592
00:25:21,660 --> 00:25:22,154
Yeah.
593
00:25:22,315 --> 00:25:23,934
Didn't go for check.
594
00:25:24,634 --> 00:25:34,875
But I think I also have this, some part of that
because I like I like to I like new ideas to
595
00:25:34,875 --> 00:25:41,849
start new things, and I cannot do things which
are everyday, like, routine.
596
00:25:42,230 --> 00:25:43,450
Like Yeah.
597
00:25:43,670 --> 00:25:45,509
The day or do something everyday.
598
00:25:45,509 --> 00:25:46,730
I cannot do that.
599
00:25:46,869 --> 00:25:52,384
For me, it is like, like, I would progress
tonight and I would put it aside.
600
00:25:52,845 --> 00:26:00,684
So what I do when I noticed that what what I
feel resistance, it means that it is just not
601
00:26:00,684 --> 00:26:01,984
what I have to do.
602
00:26:02,329 --> 00:26:10,650
And when I put it out and I gave this task to
to be done by my assistant, this how I felt
603
00:26:10,650 --> 00:26:14,750
relief because I don't need to force myself
anymore.
604
00:26:15,210 --> 00:26:22,335
I can focus of which I love to do, and I know
that those tasks are done by that assistant on
605
00:26:22,335 --> 00:26:22,815
time.
606
00:26:22,815 --> 00:26:26,434
So I don't have to worry about having them not
done.
607
00:26:26,974 --> 00:26:27,214
Yeah.
608
00:26:27,214 --> 00:26:29,634
So I like the question about this.
609
00:26:30,169 --> 00:26:30,409
Yeah.
610
00:26:30,409 --> 00:26:34,569
And, really, it's all about you're talking
about being aligned, and that's really the key.
611
00:26:34,569 --> 00:26:38,109
That's, like, the biggest key to all of this is
being aligned.
612
00:26:38,970 --> 00:26:43,529
And what that it means is that you have to
actually give all those different parts of
613
00:26:43,529 --> 00:26:44,909
yourself that they're due.
614
00:26:45,274 --> 00:26:45,595
Right?
615
00:26:45,595 --> 00:26:48,954
If you think about your mind as a company,
okay, you got your consciousness, that's your
616
00:26:48,954 --> 00:26:49,454
CEO.
617
00:26:49,835 --> 00:26:51,855
Got your rational mind that's kinda senior
management.
618
00:26:52,394 --> 00:26:54,315
Got your emotional mind that's kinda like
middle management.
619
00:26:54,315 --> 00:26:56,154
You got your instinctive mind that's like the
worker bees.
620
00:26:56,154 --> 00:26:56,234
Right?
621
00:26:56,234 --> 00:26:58,075
The guys working the doc and the accountants
and so forth.
622
00:26:58,075 --> 00:26:58,554
Right?
623
00:26:58,554 --> 00:27:00,900
Each of those parts of you has a different job
to do.
624
00:27:01,859 --> 00:27:02,359
Right?
625
00:27:03,059 --> 00:27:06,420
The CEO consciousness isn't supposed to be
doing all the work.
626
00:27:06,420 --> 00:27:08,099
That's supposed to be macro managing stuff.
627
00:27:08,099 --> 00:27:09,299
Say, we're going this way.
628
00:27:09,299 --> 00:27:10,680
This is strategic direction.
629
00:27:11,299 --> 00:27:12,580
If you got any problems, let me know.
630
00:27:12,580 --> 00:27:13,605
I'm gonna go golf.
631
00:27:13,765 --> 00:27:14,005
Why?
632
00:27:14,005 --> 00:27:16,984
Because you got people to handle the rest of
the stuff or at least you should.
633
00:27:18,005 --> 00:27:21,204
And they're trying to tell you what's going on
in their different departments and the
634
00:27:21,204 --> 00:27:24,964
different ways sort of the slice of reality
that they're playing with, and you're supposed
635
00:27:24,964 --> 00:27:25,625
to listen.
636
00:27:26,750 --> 00:27:26,909
Right?
637
00:27:26,909 --> 00:27:29,649
So if you're feeling resistance, that's part of
you saying that ain't it.
638
00:27:29,950 --> 00:27:33,069
If you're pushing against it, it's because you
don't trust your mind because you're trying to
639
00:27:33,069 --> 00:27:34,909
make them do what you wanna do rather than
listening.
640
00:27:34,909 --> 00:27:36,829
You're trying to micromanage your your company.
641
00:27:36,829 --> 00:27:37,329
Right?
642
00:27:37,470 --> 00:27:40,769
And everybody's got that one boss that just
does not freaking listen.
643
00:27:41,085 --> 00:27:41,565
Right?
644
00:27:41,565 --> 00:27:43,005
You try and tell them what's going on.
645
00:27:43,005 --> 00:27:44,525
You try and tell them, and they don't care.
646
00:27:44,525 --> 00:27:46,125
They're just gonna do whatever they want to do
anyway.
647
00:27:46,125 --> 00:27:47,325
So after a while, you stop telling them.
648
00:27:47,325 --> 00:27:48,865
You just do what you want to do anyway.
649
00:27:49,484 --> 00:27:49,724
Right?
650
00:27:49,724 --> 00:27:52,605
And we see that all the time where we got all
these bad habits, all that stuff keeps popping
651
00:27:52,605 --> 00:27:52,684
up.
652
00:27:52,684 --> 00:27:53,484
We can't stop it.
653
00:27:53,484 --> 00:27:53,964
Why?
654
00:27:53,964 --> 00:27:55,750
Can you stop listening to that part of you?
655
00:27:55,750 --> 00:27:57,130
It's gonna do its own thing.
656
00:27:57,750 --> 00:28:03,349
But once you start listening, once you give it
its due, now you got that space to negotiate
657
00:28:03,349 --> 00:28:03,930
and play.
658
00:28:04,309 --> 00:28:05,109
I'd say, hey, boss.
659
00:28:05,109 --> 00:28:05,589
We got a problem.
660
00:28:05,589 --> 00:28:05,830
Great.
661
00:28:05,830 --> 00:28:06,650
What's the problem?
662
00:28:06,984 --> 00:28:07,704
Well, this is a problem.
663
00:28:07,704 --> 00:28:08,105
Awesome.
664
00:28:08,105 --> 00:28:09,404
We're gonna handle it this way.
665
00:28:09,544 --> 00:28:10,825
Well, thank you for telling me.
666
00:28:10,825 --> 00:28:11,865
I understand your concern.
667
00:28:11,865 --> 00:28:13,164
We're gonna do it this way anyway.
668
00:28:13,704 --> 00:28:13,944
Right?
669
00:28:13,944 --> 00:28:18,664
By giving your mind its due, it knows that the
problems are being addressed and at least being
670
00:28:18,664 --> 00:28:20,284
seen so it can relax.
671
00:28:20,505 --> 00:28:21,464
It can play ball.
672
00:28:21,464 --> 00:28:22,764
It can be on the same team.
673
00:28:23,279 --> 00:28:26,640
And one of the hardest things is when that
emotional mind starts telling us things we
674
00:28:26,640 --> 00:28:27,539
don't wanna hear.
675
00:28:28,080 --> 00:28:29,279
Like, you're not good enough.
676
00:28:29,279 --> 00:28:30,160
Like, you don't deserve.
677
00:28:30,160 --> 00:28:31,279
Like, there's something wrong with you.
678
00:28:31,279 --> 00:28:32,500
Like, you don't measure up.
679
00:28:32,960 --> 00:28:34,100
We hate that answer.
680
00:28:34,160 --> 00:28:35,759
We don't want that answer to be true.
681
00:28:35,759 --> 00:28:37,355
So we try to make something else be true.
682
00:28:37,355 --> 00:28:38,474
I'm a play over here and listen to this.
683
00:28:38,474 --> 00:28:39,934
I'm a be this other thing instead.
684
00:28:40,954 --> 00:28:44,875
But the reality is we're looking at reality
through all these different lenses at the same
685
00:28:44,875 --> 00:28:45,115
time.
686
00:28:45,115 --> 00:28:46,894
We're looking at the forest and the trees.
687
00:28:48,000 --> 00:28:48,240
Right?
688
00:28:48,240 --> 00:28:51,440
And your emotional mind is probably just
looking at the trees or the forest.
689
00:28:51,440 --> 00:28:52,079
I'm sorry.
690
00:28:52,079 --> 00:28:53,619
So good patterns over time.
691
00:28:55,119 --> 00:28:55,619
Right?
692
00:28:55,680 --> 00:28:59,140
So it's seeing something and saying, hey.
693
00:28:59,279 --> 00:29:02,420
This is the pattern I'm seeing from that larger
scale.
694
00:29:03,325 --> 00:29:05,805
It's a pattern I'm seeing from the force, from
that 30,000 foot view.
695
00:29:05,805 --> 00:29:06,865
You need to pay attention.
696
00:29:07,005 --> 00:29:08,705
This is the kind of situation we're in.
697
00:29:09,085 --> 00:29:14,365
And if you ignore that, you're always fighting
against that trying to prove it wrong, but it
698
00:29:14,365 --> 00:29:15,085
ain't wrong.
699
00:29:15,085 --> 00:29:18,140
It's just a different set of tools from a
different perspective, different set of beliefs
700
00:29:18,140 --> 00:29:18,799
it's using.
701
00:29:19,259 --> 00:29:20,779
And you have to address those too.
702
00:29:20,779 --> 00:29:22,220
You gotta give them their due.
703
00:29:22,220 --> 00:29:23,580
Do you even not like the answer?
704
00:29:23,580 --> 00:29:24,080
No.
705
00:29:24,460 --> 00:29:25,580
Do you want it to be wrong?
706
00:29:25,580 --> 00:29:26,080
Yes.
707
00:29:26,380 --> 00:29:29,580
But you have to allow it to be true long enough
to fix it.
708
00:29:29,580 --> 00:29:33,555
You have to allow it to be true long long
enough to understand why it's true on that
709
00:29:33,555 --> 00:29:36,215
level, and then you can move it in a different
way.
710
00:29:36,515 --> 00:29:40,215
But once you get all these different parts of
you onboard, everything is seamless.
711
00:29:41,154 --> 00:29:41,555
Right?
712
00:29:41,555 --> 00:29:43,795
Everyone's being able to talk and coordinate
the way they need to.
713
00:29:43,795 --> 00:29:46,950
Every member of the team is on is able to
integrate and do what they need to.
714
00:29:47,190 --> 00:29:51,190
You're gonna listen to that input, give it what
it needs to respond, and then everything's
715
00:29:51,190 --> 00:29:53,049
effortless because you're not fighting yourself
anymore.
716
00:29:53,509 --> 00:29:58,789
You get to play in your zone of genius, the
space where you can have the biggest impact,
717
00:29:58,789 --> 00:29:59,849
the best, the fastest.
718
00:30:00,554 --> 00:30:03,115
As he's letting the stuff go, it's like, oh,
this is not my zone of genius.
719
00:30:03,115 --> 00:30:03,434
Awesome.
720
00:30:03,434 --> 00:30:04,654
Who needs to handle that?
721
00:30:04,714 --> 00:30:05,914
I'm not good at writing books.
722
00:30:05,914 --> 00:30:06,154
You.
723
00:30:06,154 --> 00:30:07,274
You're good at writing books.
724
00:30:07,274 --> 00:30:08,255
Do this for me.
725
00:30:08,394 --> 00:30:09,355
Here's the stuff you need.
726
00:30:09,355 --> 00:30:10,494
Let me know if you need help.
727
00:30:11,194 --> 00:30:11,694
Right?
728
00:30:11,914 --> 00:30:16,589
And that's a beautiful place because then
you're basically in flow at all times because
729
00:30:16,589 --> 00:30:17,890
there's no internal friction.
730
00:30:18,670 --> 00:30:18,910
Right?
731
00:30:18,910 --> 00:30:20,029
Because you're doing what you love.
732
00:30:20,029 --> 00:30:21,170
You're doing it the best.
733
00:30:21,390 --> 00:30:24,910
And there's all all those different parts of
you when there's a problem, they can tell you
734
00:30:24,910 --> 00:30:27,329
and you're gonna listen, which means you can
get handled faster.
735
00:30:28,154 --> 00:30:33,674
So you actually succeed faster, more, more
effectively, more efficiently, and you get to
736
00:30:33,674 --> 00:30:34,815
do it as a whole person.
737
00:30:37,515 --> 00:30:38,015
Yes.
738
00:30:38,875 --> 00:30:39,275
Yes.
739
00:30:39,275 --> 00:30:42,829
So so good that we address that subject.
740
00:30:42,829 --> 00:30:47,890
I think many people can find it so valuable,
this perception.
741
00:30:48,349 --> 00:30:56,404
Because, we were conditioned to to push
ourselves, just to have that that approach that
742
00:30:56,404 --> 00:30:57,865
we have to work hard.
743
00:30:58,964 --> 00:31:01,845
We were told that money doesn't grow on the
tree.
744
00:31:01,845 --> 00:31:03,045
You have to work.
745
00:31:03,045 --> 00:31:04,424
You have to Yep.
746
00:31:04,964 --> 00:31:05,365
Yes.
747
00:31:05,365 --> 00:31:07,704
You will have to win every time.
748
00:31:08,179 --> 00:31:14,679
And this is how this, wrong concept of success
is built in people's mind.
749
00:31:14,819 --> 00:31:15,059
Yeah.
750
00:31:15,059 --> 00:31:19,640
That they, they let the logic dominate.
751
00:31:20,099 --> 00:31:27,394
And logic also logic is not the same for
different people because we know that many
752
00:31:27,394 --> 00:31:35,875
years ago, people logic was allowed them to
think that they can fall down because the earth
753
00:31:35,875 --> 00:31:36,615
is flat.
754
00:31:37,019 --> 00:31:42,299
And they're afraid to go down because they put
the they they can fell down.
755
00:31:42,299 --> 00:31:42,619
Yes.
756
00:31:42,619 --> 00:31:43,420
And when Right.
757
00:31:43,660 --> 00:31:50,299
Pernic told or Golileo Golileo told that the
earth is round, they just killed him because it
758
00:31:50,299 --> 00:31:52,000
was opposite the logic.
759
00:31:52,355 --> 00:31:55,795
But we know that, logic can be different.
760
00:31:55,795 --> 00:31:57,815
Now it is totally different logic.
761
00:31:58,035 --> 00:31:58,275
Yes.
762
00:31:58,275 --> 00:32:01,174
So logic, it is not what is the truth.
763
00:32:01,875 --> 00:32:07,599
We know that in different countries, logic can
be different even now.
764
00:32:07,819 --> 00:32:10,319
So it is not that this is true.
765
00:32:10,859 --> 00:32:14,400
It is something that we accepted as a truth.
766
00:32:15,019 --> 00:32:21,615
And, this is how we grow up and things will
repeated to us again and again.
767
00:32:22,075 --> 00:32:26,075
And through that repetition, we just accept
that it is reality.
768
00:32:26,075 --> 00:32:31,134
And now we measure everything compares compare
with that reality.
769
00:32:31,960 --> 00:32:39,080
And it is not reality because that reality,
what is we accept as reality was not even built
770
00:32:39,080 --> 00:32:39,980
by us.
771
00:32:40,119 --> 00:32:41,500
We didn't choose that.
772
00:32:41,799 --> 00:32:42,779
This is something
773
00:32:43,000 --> 00:32:44,600
I would argue with on that one.
774
00:32:44,600 --> 00:32:48,194
And here's the thing here's the reason why is
that, you know, basic communication theory,
775
00:32:48,194 --> 00:32:51,734
like speech one zero one class, you got a
sender, you got a message, you got a receiver.
776
00:32:51,795 --> 00:32:52,295
Okay?
777
00:32:52,355 --> 00:32:52,595
Mhmm.
778
00:32:52,595 --> 00:32:55,875
I create a message, I'm trying to convey
something to you, so I craft a message, I throw
779
00:32:55,875 --> 00:32:56,595
it to you.
780
00:32:56,595 --> 00:32:58,914
The receiver is always the one that interprets
it.
781
00:32:58,914 --> 00:33:01,015
I have no control over how that's interpreted.
782
00:33:01,154 --> 00:33:01,654
Okay?
783
00:33:02,339 --> 00:33:05,859
But what so everything you believe is something
you created on your own.
784
00:33:05,859 --> 00:33:06,659
Nobody gave it to you.
785
00:33:06,659 --> 00:33:07,960
Nobody stuck it in your head.
786
00:33:08,179 --> 00:33:09,079
It is not programmed.
787
00:33:09,220 --> 00:33:10,740
It is not put upon you at all.
788
00:33:10,740 --> 00:33:11,880
You created that.
789
00:33:12,659 --> 00:33:17,865
Now the higher the pressure of the environment
you're in, the more demanding the environment
790
00:33:17,865 --> 00:33:24,105
is, the the the narrower the number of meanings
or understandings you can have that are gonna
791
00:33:24,105 --> 00:33:25,404
get you through that successfully.
792
00:33:26,345 --> 00:33:26,825
Right?
793
00:33:26,825 --> 00:33:30,025
So if you grew up in a strict household, you
grew up in a poor neighborhood, whatever that
794
00:33:30,025 --> 00:33:31,965
happens to be, there's a lot of pressure.
795
00:33:32,179 --> 00:33:34,359
So there's only a few solutions that really
work.
796
00:33:34,819 --> 00:33:36,500
And what often happens is, like, okay.
797
00:33:36,500 --> 00:33:37,619
I have to be perfect.
798
00:33:37,619 --> 00:33:38,500
I have to achieve.
799
00:33:38,500 --> 00:33:41,160
I have to do in order to get what I need.
800
00:33:41,460 --> 00:33:42,579
It's not just available to me.
801
00:33:42,579 --> 00:33:43,539
I gotta earn it.
802
00:33:43,539 --> 00:33:45,059
I can't just be me and get it.
803
00:33:45,059 --> 00:33:45,299
No.
804
00:33:45,299 --> 00:33:45,884
I gotta earn.
805
00:33:45,884 --> 00:33:46,924
I gotta be something else.
806
00:33:46,924 --> 00:33:47,884
I gotta do something else.
807
00:33:47,884 --> 00:33:48,445
I gotta achieve.
808
00:33:48,445 --> 00:33:49,424
I gotta be perfect.
809
00:33:51,164 --> 00:33:51,565
Right?
810
00:33:51,565 --> 00:33:56,945
That pressure to achieve is a I have to earn
where everything is conditional.
811
00:33:57,805 --> 00:34:00,789
And so you're trying to figure out the
conditions you need to fulfill to get what you
812
00:34:00,789 --> 00:34:03,670
need in life because you can't just have it on
your own.
813
00:34:03,670 --> 00:34:05,450
Can't just be you and have it.
814
00:34:05,670 --> 00:34:07,130
You gotta be something else.
815
00:34:07,670 --> 00:34:08,170
Right?
816
00:34:08,309 --> 00:34:10,170
And that's just an adaptation to those
pressures.
817
00:34:10,925 --> 00:34:15,244
The problem is we never take a step back and
take another look at that once we're in a
818
00:34:15,244 --> 00:34:16,065
different environment.
819
00:34:16,764 --> 00:34:17,164
Right?
820
00:34:17,164 --> 00:34:20,465
This was necessary when we were young because
we didn't have any control of our environment,
821
00:34:20,525 --> 00:34:21,344
what we're doing.
822
00:34:21,724 --> 00:34:22,625
Now we're adults.
823
00:34:22,764 --> 00:34:23,484
We do.
824
00:34:23,484 --> 00:34:25,025
We can play a different game.
825
00:34:25,719 --> 00:34:29,000
Though sometimes we never take a step back and
look at the rules and say, does this really
826
00:34:29,000 --> 00:34:29,500
apply?
827
00:34:30,039 --> 00:34:32,199
Is this actually helping me go where I wanna
be?
828
00:34:32,199 --> 00:34:36,059
Is this happening helping me be who I want to
be, who I am truly inside?
829
00:34:36,440 --> 00:34:42,655
Or am I being what is necessary, what I think
is necessary to get what I need.
830
00:34:43,914 --> 00:34:44,315
Yes.
831
00:34:44,315 --> 00:34:46,255
It is good to know your perception.
832
00:34:47,034 --> 00:34:52,974
What I meant that we were conditioned, for
example, people in China can eat cockroaches,
833
00:34:53,114 --> 00:34:54,574
for example, or bad.
834
00:34:54,875 --> 00:34:55,114
Yeah.
835
00:34:55,114 --> 00:34:55,590
Yeah.
836
00:34:55,910 --> 00:34:58,869
And they they accept as this is normal.
837
00:34:58,869 --> 00:34:59,369
Sure.
838
00:34:59,670 --> 00:35:03,849
So but people who are in Europe, they don't
eat.
839
00:35:03,910 --> 00:35:04,150
Yes.
840
00:35:04,150 --> 00:35:05,590
That's snakes and that.
841
00:35:05,590 --> 00:35:10,090
And so they believe that it is not normal to
eat cockroaches.
842
00:35:10,230 --> 00:35:16,815
So that would say that depending on which
environment the child is growing up Yeah.
843
00:35:16,894 --> 00:35:21,315
He accepts what is traditionally accepted in
that society.
844
00:35:21,375 --> 00:35:21,855
Yeah.
845
00:35:21,855 --> 00:35:22,980
We have Yeah.
846
00:35:23,059 --> 00:35:26,039
In society paradigms, we have family paradigms.
847
00:35:26,099 --> 00:35:26,420
Yes.
848
00:35:26,420 --> 00:35:28,519
So every country has their paradigms.
849
00:35:28,980 --> 00:35:37,534
And if if the Chinese, boy was, for example,
born in China and brought to US, he will grow
850
00:35:37,594 --> 00:35:42,175
up with total different, belief system.
851
00:35:42,474 --> 00:35:42,714
Yes?
852
00:35:42,714 --> 00:35:42,795
Yes.
853
00:35:42,795 --> 00:35:46,655
In if he would grow in China.
854
00:35:46,954 --> 00:35:48,234
This is what it means.
855
00:35:48,234 --> 00:35:57,650
So in a lot of, part a a big part of paradigms,
which we have as adults has been formed when we
856
00:35:57,650 --> 00:36:03,090
were infant because we came to the world with
new nothing, and we just Mhmm.
857
00:36:03,650 --> 00:36:07,349
Looking and through our five senses, we will
receiving information.
858
00:36:07,965 --> 00:36:08,724
And what Absolutely.
859
00:36:09,005 --> 00:36:12,625
Repeating many times, we accept it as this is
the truth.
860
00:36:12,925 --> 00:36:20,765
And later, everything what we see, we compare
with our what our paradigms accepts as the
861
00:36:20,765 --> 00:36:21,085
truth.
862
00:36:21,085 --> 00:36:21,585
Yeah.
863
00:36:21,800 --> 00:36:22,119
Yes.
864
00:36:22,119 --> 00:36:30,119
So that is why people find difficult to accept
other people perception because they just used
865
00:36:30,119 --> 00:36:38,204
to think that what they see it is right, and
they don't even, assume that other person can
866
00:36:38,204 --> 00:36:42,625
also be right although have totally different
opinion to the same thing.
867
00:36:43,244 --> 00:36:43,484
Yeah.
868
00:36:43,484 --> 00:36:47,085
And it's it's that's a beautiful example
because, like, culture is such a huge thing.
869
00:36:47,085 --> 00:36:47,244
Right?
870
00:36:47,244 --> 00:36:51,000
The environment you're growing in does
massively shape how you see the world.
871
00:36:51,320 --> 00:36:51,480
Right?
872
00:36:51,480 --> 00:36:53,079
Not just, like, with the country you grew up
in.
873
00:36:53,079 --> 00:36:53,880
It's like, okay.
874
00:36:53,880 --> 00:36:55,159
I'm in The United States.
875
00:36:55,159 --> 00:37:00,199
There are hugely different different cultures
between city and the rural, between different
876
00:37:00,199 --> 00:37:02,139
states, between different parts of the state.
877
00:37:02,360 --> 00:37:02,599
Right?
878
00:37:02,599 --> 00:37:05,019
I grew up in a can state called Kansas.
879
00:37:05,344 --> 00:37:06,625
Very big farm mostly farmland.
880
00:37:06,625 --> 00:37:09,125
I grew up in this biggest city there which is,
like, 300,000 people.
881
00:37:09,184 --> 00:37:12,545
My parents grew up in a town that has, like,
5,000 people out in the country, like, very
882
00:37:12,545 --> 00:37:13,364
different cultures.
883
00:37:13,424 --> 00:37:16,784
And all that's completely different from New
York, from Florida, from California, all that
884
00:37:16,784 --> 00:37:17,605
sort of stuff.
885
00:37:17,824 --> 00:37:19,349
But fundamentally, it's the same kind of thing.
886
00:37:19,349 --> 00:37:22,010
You're in an environment that has certain kinds
of pressures.
887
00:37:22,710 --> 00:37:22,869
Right?
888
00:37:22,869 --> 00:37:24,630
So you're just adapting those kinds of
pressures.
889
00:37:24,630 --> 00:37:28,710
And, yes, as you're growing in these cultures,
that creates your baseline of, like, this is
890
00:37:28,710 --> 00:37:30,150
what how this is how people work.
891
00:37:30,150 --> 00:37:31,369
This is how people are.
892
00:37:31,914 --> 00:37:33,914
And that does inform how you move forward.
893
00:37:33,914 --> 00:37:38,394
But the important thing to recognize is even
within a particular culture, everyone's moving
894
00:37:38,394 --> 00:37:39,295
through the world different.
895
00:37:40,875 --> 00:37:41,375
Right?
896
00:37:41,434 --> 00:37:45,809
Not everybody everybody who grew up in my town
in Kansas, everybody's working differently.
897
00:37:45,809 --> 00:37:47,250
Everybody's navigating life differently.
898
00:37:47,250 --> 00:37:47,650
Right?
899
00:37:47,650 --> 00:37:51,570
Because you're seeing it's not just the
external culture, you know, the overall culture
900
00:37:51,570 --> 00:37:54,610
plus the state you're in, plus the city you're
in, plus the family you're in, plus the
901
00:37:54,610 --> 00:37:56,789
neighborhood, plus the schools, plus all that
stuff.
902
00:37:56,885 --> 00:38:00,484
And you never really have a good idea what
that's gonna look like because it's your
903
00:38:00,484 --> 00:38:02,964
individual way path that you found through
that.
904
00:38:02,964 --> 00:38:03,464
Right?
905
00:38:03,925 --> 00:38:07,125
And so the important thing to to always
remember is that all these things are things
906
00:38:07,125 --> 00:38:08,025
you created yourself.
907
00:38:08,804 --> 00:38:09,304
Always.
908
00:38:09,525 --> 00:38:14,190
Which means there are always things you can
change if you're aware of it, if you do the
909
00:38:14,190 --> 00:38:17,409
exploration, if you use the right tools, all
that stuff you can change.
910
00:38:18,110 --> 00:38:21,010
If I grew up in The US, Twenty Five years old,
I moved to Thailand.
911
00:38:21,389 --> 00:38:23,409
I lived in Thailand for for ten years.
912
00:38:23,949 --> 00:38:25,710
I'm not used to The US normal anymore.
913
00:38:25,710 --> 00:38:27,630
I go back to New York and I was like, that's
ain't it.
914
00:38:27,630 --> 00:38:28,130
Right?
915
00:38:28,355 --> 00:38:28,514
Why?
916
00:38:28,514 --> 00:38:31,654
Because I found a culture and a space that
actually fit me better.
917
00:38:32,674 --> 00:38:32,994
Right?
918
00:38:32,994 --> 00:38:33,714
I left Kansas.
919
00:38:33,714 --> 00:38:34,514
I went to TC.
920
00:38:34,514 --> 00:38:36,054
Worked there for quite a long time.
921
00:38:36,114 --> 00:38:36,914
That's where I wanna be.
922
00:38:36,914 --> 00:38:37,714
That's where I need to be.
923
00:38:37,714 --> 00:38:38,674
That doesn't fit anymore.
924
00:38:38,674 --> 00:38:39,074
Out of state.
925
00:38:39,074 --> 00:38:39,875
Now I'm in Texas.
926
00:38:39,875 --> 00:38:40,355
Why?
927
00:38:40,355 --> 00:38:43,255
Because this is the environment that actually
fits who I am.
928
00:38:43,980 --> 00:38:48,059
Once you have it, you're an adult, once you
have choice, once you got control, the goal is
929
00:38:48,059 --> 00:38:52,219
to get yourself into an environment that
actually matches, matches, resonates, and
930
00:38:52,219 --> 00:38:55,039
aligns with who you are and what you need.
931
00:38:55,179 --> 00:38:59,484
Because a lot of us grow up in environments
that are not where we're supposed to be at all.
932
00:38:59,545 --> 00:39:01,545
I was not supposed to be in Kansas at all.
933
00:39:01,545 --> 00:39:03,324
That's just not the right spot for me.
934
00:39:03,704 --> 00:39:05,545
It shaped my my perceptions.
935
00:39:05,545 --> 00:39:08,824
It gave me really some really interesting
understanding things that help me navigate the
936
00:39:08,824 --> 00:39:09,565
world better.
937
00:39:09,890 --> 00:39:13,489
But it's about finding the right environment
that matches what you who really are and who
938
00:39:13,489 --> 00:39:17,590
you really are because you also got beliefs
around what things should be.
939
00:39:18,849 --> 00:39:19,170
Right?
940
00:39:19,170 --> 00:39:19,570
I'm here.
941
00:39:19,570 --> 00:39:20,530
This is where things are.
942
00:39:20,530 --> 00:39:22,469
I also think this is the way things should be.
943
00:39:23,204 --> 00:39:23,704
Right?
944
00:39:23,765 --> 00:39:28,005
And finding a place that works with how you
think should be is one of the most biggest
945
00:39:28,005 --> 00:39:29,144
hacks you can have.
946
00:39:29,684 --> 00:39:29,925
Right?
947
00:39:29,925 --> 00:39:32,724
Because you're not fighting yourself and
finding the culture and finding the space all
948
00:39:32,724 --> 00:39:33,125
the time yet.
949
00:39:33,125 --> 00:39:35,785
So you can spend more time doing what you
should be doing.
950
00:39:38,369 --> 00:39:38,869
Yes.
951
00:39:39,089 --> 00:39:46,710
As we are products of different environments
and, like as you mentioned, cultural paradigms,
952
00:39:47,329 --> 00:39:50,230
family paradigms, we also inherited genes.
953
00:39:50,289 --> 00:39:53,764
That's why we look so like our parents or
relatives.
954
00:39:54,545 --> 00:39:54,784
Yes.
955
00:39:54,784 --> 00:39:59,284
And, like, all this, mixture of different Yeah.
956
00:39:59,425 --> 00:39:59,925
Influences.
957
00:40:00,784 --> 00:40:01,284
Yes.
958
00:40:01,344 --> 00:40:07,549
Our generations, our ancestors, and then, all
other influences.
959
00:40:07,929 --> 00:40:12,029
And the good news is that we have choices.
960
00:40:12,170 --> 00:40:13,609
You said we have choice.
961
00:40:13,609 --> 00:40:21,264
So whatever we had before, I think everyone
come to point that they start questioning.
962
00:40:21,404 --> 00:40:24,065
Like, why I believe this?
963
00:40:24,284 --> 00:40:28,204
Does this this belief really serves me?
964
00:40:28,204 --> 00:40:28,704
Yes.
965
00:40:28,764 --> 00:40:31,105
Do I leave the I want to leave.
966
00:40:31,260 --> 00:40:37,039
And this is when, when we ask this question, we
can start questioning our beliefs.
967
00:40:38,059 --> 00:40:47,224
And, if we find that those beliefs don't serve
us anymore, we are able to reframe and replace
968
00:40:47,364 --> 00:40:55,364
our beliefs and decide what I want to achieve,
what person I want to be, what I how I want to
969
00:40:55,364 --> 00:41:02,079
live, and start replacing beliefs according to
that new self image.
970
00:41:02,539 --> 00:41:03,340
According to the Yes.
971
00:41:04,139 --> 00:41:05,280
I have to become.
972
00:41:05,659 --> 00:41:12,304
And this is really great that we are not
victims of our societies or families or
973
00:41:12,304 --> 00:41:14,244
anything would happen in the past.
974
00:41:14,625 --> 00:41:21,025
Every day is a new beginning, and every day you
can say, this is who I want to be.
975
00:41:21,025 --> 00:41:23,510
This is who I feel I am, Yeah.
976
00:41:23,510 --> 00:41:26,710
Who I meant to be, and, this is my goal.
977
00:41:26,710 --> 00:41:28,309
This is how I want to live.
978
00:41:28,309 --> 00:41:37,285
And, every time you can just sit and, grab
piece of paper and write that script of who you
979
00:41:37,285 --> 00:41:43,605
really are, not somebody who told you who you
were before even when you were small, what
980
00:41:43,605 --> 00:41:45,224
parents told you or teachers.
981
00:41:45,364 --> 00:41:52,000
But who you want to become from the coming from
the point of that big goal that you want to
982
00:41:52,000 --> 00:41:52,500
achieve.
983
00:41:52,880 --> 00:41:55,940
Imagine that you're already there and you
achieved that.
984
00:41:56,159 --> 00:41:58,579
What kind of person you would be there?
985
00:41:59,119 --> 00:42:02,179
And start thinking and feeling from that place.
986
00:42:02,894 --> 00:42:09,695
Because, this is the only way how to really get
in the alignment with your goal because you
987
00:42:09,695 --> 00:42:17,010
cannot just go, one side and, your goal is very
different.
988
00:42:17,010 --> 00:42:20,630
You have to align to consciously,
subconsciously with your actions.
989
00:42:21,329 --> 00:42:26,949
And and for this, you have those beliefs that
you are that person, and this is the possible.
990
00:42:27,090 --> 00:42:29,510
This is what expecting for you already.
991
00:42:29,835 --> 00:42:34,394
And this is how you will start by shifting your
beliefs about yourself.
992
00:42:34,394 --> 00:42:37,855
You will start acting different and getting
different results.
993
00:42:38,875 --> 00:42:39,695
%.
994
00:42:42,460 --> 00:42:43,340
Thank you so much, Ryan.
995
00:42:43,340 --> 00:42:49,760
It was amazing, and very, very powerful and,
impactful conversation we've had today.
996
00:42:50,460 --> 00:42:51,199
Thank you.
997
00:42:51,660 --> 00:42:57,695
Is there anything that you would like to maybe
suggest or advice to people listening to us
998
00:42:57,695 --> 00:42:59,474
before we wrap up this episode?
999
00:43:00,574 --> 00:43:00,815
Sure.
1000
00:43:00,815 --> 00:43:05,635
I think the single most powerful question you
can always ask yourself is what am I missing?
1001
00:43:06,414 --> 00:43:06,894
Right?
1002
00:43:06,894 --> 00:43:10,655
Because if you write about everything's and
write about how things work, write about which
1003
00:43:10,655 --> 00:43:14,130
direction you're going, write about who you
are, everything will be working right.
1004
00:43:14,130 --> 00:43:17,089
So if you're coming up with a challenge or if
there's friction, the first thing question you
1005
00:43:17,089 --> 00:43:19,190
should always ask yourself is what am I
missing?
1006
00:43:19,489 --> 00:43:20,869
What assumption is wrong?
1007
00:43:20,929 --> 00:43:22,609
What understanding is wrong?
1008
00:43:22,609 --> 00:43:23,570
Where is the friction?
1009
00:43:23,570 --> 00:43:24,550
Why is it there?
1010
00:43:24,804 --> 00:43:25,525
What am I missing?
1011
00:43:25,525 --> 00:43:28,485
Because that's gonna get you curious as it
start leading you down to what that problem
1012
00:43:28,485 --> 00:43:29,144
really is.
1013
00:43:29,204 --> 00:43:30,905
Best question you can ever ask yourself.
1014
00:43:32,485 --> 00:43:32,724
Yeah.
1015
00:43:32,724 --> 00:43:33,605
Thank you so much.
1016
00:43:33,605 --> 00:43:33,925
Yes.
1017
00:43:33,925 --> 00:43:35,945
And be in peace with yourself.
1018
00:43:36,164 --> 00:43:37,945
Be in peace with your body.
1019
00:43:38,390 --> 00:43:44,070
Listen to your body, what it tells you because
it can always tell you if it is right thing to
1020
00:43:44,070 --> 00:43:44,230
do.
1021
00:43:44,230 --> 00:43:45,449
Listen to your intuition.
1022
00:43:45,989 --> 00:43:52,875
When you learn to live from intuition more than
from living from head, This is how you can see
1023
00:43:52,875 --> 00:43:53,275
signs.
1024
00:43:53,275 --> 00:43:57,295
You can feel that invisible hand, like, guiding
you.
1025
00:43:57,355 --> 00:43:57,594
Yeah.
1026
00:43:57,594 --> 00:44:02,555
Because you will be receiving to see those
directions and signs.
1027
00:44:02,555 --> 00:44:10,610
And this is more effective and productive than
just leaving from head and pushing things hard
1028
00:44:10,670 --> 00:44:15,170
and, denying all that guidance which we can
get.
1029
00:44:16,030 --> 00:44:16,530
Absolutely.
1030
00:44:18,534 --> 00:44:19,894
Thank you so much, Ryan.
1031
00:44:19,894 --> 00:44:26,054
So it was my pleasure to host you today at our
podcast, and, I'm looking forward to see you
1032
00:44:26,054 --> 00:44:27,114
again in the future.
1033
00:44:27,894 --> 00:44:28,394
Outstanding.
1034
00:44:28,454 --> 00:44:29,094
Thank you so much.
1035
00:44:29,094 --> 00:44:30,554
Look forward to next time.
1036
00:44:31,255 --> 00:44:32,074
You're welcome.