WEBVTT
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00:00:01.729wanted to say, I, I read your book.
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00:00:02.591I loved it.
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00:00:07.030I was really inspired by the level of vulnerability that you really go into.
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00:00:08.618it connected with me.
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00:00:11.698my background, I wrote a book called From Foster Care to Millionaire.
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00:00:14.128my parents were both alcoholics.
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00:00:15.928They died before I turned 18.
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00:00:19.557I pretty much had nothing, and the only thing I had was a business.
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00:00:23.120And so I really worked my way up to become, successful.
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00:00:33.290Ended up having a really big company, sold it for a lot of money, and now I'm doing the thing that I really love, which is having deeply meaningful conversations.
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00:00:33.801Go ahead.
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00:00:35.735Yeah, look at you.
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00:00:36.515You bad.
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00:00:37.055mo fo
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00:00:39.140Thanks.
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00:00:40.460I, I try.
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00:00:41.030I try.
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00:00:41.610Uh
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00:00:43.276Yodas said Do or do not.
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00:00:44.098There is no try
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00:01:06.149Welcome to another episode of the mindhack podcast, where we dive deep into the minds of extraordinary individuals.
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00:01:10.049to uncover their secrets to success, resilience and.
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00:01:10.918Personal growth.
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00:01:13.243I'm your host Cody McLain.
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00:01:16.313And today we're honored to have George Mumford.
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00:01:17.813A, legendary of mindfulness.
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00:01:21.903Mindfulness coach who has worked with some of the greatest athletes of all time.
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00:01:24.593, including Michael Jordan and Kobe Bryant.
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00:01:26.769Under the leadership of Phil Jackson.
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00:01:29.049George has helped these athletes.
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00:01:31.000Unlock their full potential.
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00:01:33.069Through the power of mindfulness.
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00:01:40.359This conversation promises to be an enlightening journey . Into the world of peak performance, mental resilience.
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00:01:43.930And the transformative power of mindfulness.
00:01:44.634 -->
00:01:47.963In his early years, George struggled with severe addiction.
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00:01:50.980A battle that took him to the depths of despair.
00:01:51.700 -->
00:01:54.849It was through this crucible that he discovered mindfulness.
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00:01:56.109A practice that.
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00:01:59.950It would not only save his life, but also set him on a path.
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00:02:02.799To helping others achieve their highest potential.
00:02:03.963 -->
00:02:04.164After.
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00:02:07.444Years of practicing and coaching mindfulness in various settings.
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00:02:11.674George brought his unique perspective to the world of sports.
00:02:12.274 -->
00:02:15.274Having worked with some of the top athletes in the NBA.
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00:02:18.243NFL and NHL.
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00:02:19.693George Mumford.
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00:02:21.544Ability to connect with players.
00:02:21.843 -->
00:02:23.373And teach mindfulness has been.
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00:02:25.804Pivotal in their success stories.
00:02:26.433 -->
00:02:27.274His first book.
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00:02:30.843The mindful athlete secrets to pure performance.
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00:02:31.503Offers.
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00:02:35.674Deep insights into how mindfulness can enhance athletic performance.
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00:02:37.954And everyday life.
00:02:38.180 -->
00:02:39.259And today's episode.
00:02:39.349 -->
00:02:43.623We'll dive deep and to George's latest work unlocked.
00:02:43.623 -->
00:02:46.069. Where he shares more about his personal journey.
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00:02:47.389The principles of.
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00:02:48.139Mindfulness.
00:02:48.590 -->
00:02:51.590And how these can be applied to overcome life's hurdles.
00:02:52.759 -->
00:02:54.719We'll explore his time, working with inmates.
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00:02:58.099. Profound transformations he's witnessed.
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00:02:59.689And his insights.
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00:03:02.990On how anyone can unlock their true potential.
00:03:04.250 -->
00:03:08.569So without further ado, please welcome the remarkable George Mumford.
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00:03:12.724so, um, the name of your company.
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00:03:18.914you sold it and so you're just doing podcasts, or I mean, what else are you doing?
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00:03:27.490Yeah, I mean, I sold it and really ever since then I've been trying to find what's the level of meaning that I can, I can get from life in some ways.
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00:03:39.687I, found that I was deeply motivated to create a company and create a lot of success for myself, but initially it was out of the need for validation from others, and then it was out of a fear of being homeless.
00:03:39.776 -->
00:03:45.417And so when your back is against the wall, then, you know, I've worked my ass off to, to become successful.
00:03:45.417 -->
00:03:54.615But thing I never thought about what happens when I get the big house, what happens when I get the nice car, everything that I ever wanted and ever dreamed of, and it feels kind of empty.
00:03:54.735 -->
00:03:59.205And so now I've been trying to figure out how can I derive that sense of meaning.
00:03:59.205 -->
00:04:05.625I know you talked about that in your book, that sense of meaning that you give from teaching others the thing that you yourself learned.
00:04:05.985 -->
00:04:08.735And, trying to use that as a source of motivation.
00:04:08.735 -->
00:04:12.975So going from a place of, fear to, being pulled towards something positive.
00:04:13.669 -->
00:04:14.088Yeah.
00:04:14.088 -->
00:04:19.488So it's, the very deep question of, who are you or why are you here?
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00:04:24.144Or what I say in, the book, what do you have to offer to the world?
00:04:24.783 -->
00:04:29.887And the only thing you really have to offer is yourself, your unique, authentic self.
00:04:30.367 -->
00:04:31.387and that's a challenge.
00:04:31.387 -->
00:04:39.108And that's why you nailed it when you talked about, and then what, you do all this stuff and then you have success, but do you have fulfillment?
00:04:39.704 -->
00:04:46.163do you have something that, you know, that makes you feel like, oh, I'm doing what I was put here to do.
00:04:47.004 -->
00:04:53.483Because you can be really good at something, but yet it's not, it doesn't feed your heart.
00:04:54.113 -->
00:04:57.564It's not something that you say, oh yeah, this is what I'm gonna do.
00:04:57.564 -->
00:05:00.713For some of us, we don't know what we want to do.
00:05:00.894 -->
00:05:02.184And that's the journey, isn't it?
00:05:02.303 -->
00:05:14.091And even though you might achieve something, but Joseph Campbell it, it started out just reading about Native Americans and understanding that, and then he went from there into mythology and other things.
00:05:14.673 -->
00:05:15.963And so that's a challenge.
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00:05:17.043That's what I help people do.
00:05:17.059 -->
00:05:17.728I like this.
00:05:17.788 -->
00:05:24.031One of the things I do is I help people find themselves, you know, the authentic self, the unique self.
00:05:24.541 -->
00:05:26.552And that's a journey, that's an internal journey.
00:05:26.552 -->
00:05:27.692That's an inside job.
00:05:28.382 -->
00:05:30.692But we all have the ability to do that.
00:05:31.502 -->
00:05:34.442And sometimes we find it in many ways.
00:05:34.442 -->
00:05:37.141Sometimes we find it by understanding what we don't want to do.
00:05:37.874 -->
00:05:44.661but one of the things I've done over my career is I, I would ask questions like, if you only had six months to live, what would you be doing?
00:05:45.286 -->
00:05:45.975That's a good one, huh?
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00:05:46.471Yeah.
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00:05:49.875So, and Joseph Campbell talked about following your bliss.
00:05:50.115 -->
00:05:50.896That's what I did.
00:05:51.418 -->
00:05:52.129Follow your bliss.
00:05:52.144 -->
00:05:53.053what gives you bliss?
00:05:53.074 -->
00:05:54.213What makes you happy?
00:05:54.423 -->
00:05:55.894What are you curious about?
00:05:56.535 -->
00:06:12.557I'm curious in the respect of, you know, you've, you've worked with a lot of, very well-known athletes, Olympic athletes even, and there's a quote that Jim Carrey had many years ago, which is that I wish everybody could be famous for a day so that they could see that it isn't.
00:06:12.887 -->
00:06:20.016What it seems like it is, you know, you don't derive that sense of happiness from these things that we desire for much of our lives.
00:06:20.286 -->
00:06:24.516But Jim Carrey himself came from a background of trauma.
00:06:24.766 -->
00:06:35.896he had to overcome a lot of obstacles, and I see myself included, a lot of people who work extremely hard, are extremely dedicated to finding that level of success.
00:06:36.166 -->
00:06:37.726But then I question.
00:06:38.057 -->
00:06:41.476How do you move, how do you transition away from that?
00:06:41.476 -->
00:06:49.026And I look at, say, all these Olympic athletes who get all these medals, Simone Biles, for example, I question what motivates her?
00:06:49.026 -->
00:07:00.156What motivates so many others where when you've checked off everything you could possibly do when you've won all the Olympics, when you've beaten your own world records, why do you continue to do it?
00:07:00.156 -->
00:07:01.086what's driving them?
00:07:01.086 -->
00:07:13.932What's the difference between somebody who is motivated to, overcome obstacles and overcome trauma versus somebody who's able to find some other purpose, that pulls them to keep on doing this thing that they love?
00:07:14.807 -->
00:07:15.226Yes.
00:07:15.286 -->
00:07:20.026So there's this idea that drive comes from curiosity.
00:07:20.422 -->
00:07:21.622Passion and purpose.
00:07:22.028 -->
00:07:25.069And so that is very interesting for myself.
00:07:25.069 -->
00:07:33.266I think about it, I've been doing this, this calibrated 40 years of sobriety and you know, I've worked with the elite of the elite.
00:07:33.932 -->
00:07:36.112so why am I doing what I do now?
00:07:36.112 -->
00:07:46.365I don't have do it, but I do it because I feel more fully alive being able to help people unlock, I, I developed a, a what was called a charter.
00:07:47.144 -->
00:07:58.805And I was in this process, I was doing this workshop and it took me several months to develop the charter of, you know, what's my raison d'etre that's a release of divine spark in each and every human being.
00:07:59.711 -->
00:08:08.889that for which, uh, the values that are at the heart of who I am are love, curiosity, truth, wisdom, integrity, selfless service, compassion, courage.
00:08:09.370 -->
00:08:19.480Therefore, which I could be counted on for, is to be loving with a warrior spirit, with a serving and compassionate heart, pursuing excellence and wisdom with grace and ease.
00:08:19.870 -->
00:08:25.870And so that purpose, that, mission, that charter is maybe lifetimes.
00:08:25.930 -->
00:08:27.040It's more than a lifetime.
00:08:27.526 -->
00:08:29.447And so it keeps me going.
00:08:29.447 -->
00:08:35.556And so each time I challenge myself and see, you know, for the highest good, how many people can I unlock?
00:08:35.645 -->
00:08:42.245You what's the value of having people unlock Is that when we are fully ourselves.
00:08:42.336 -->
00:08:52.582And so I might say with all the success, the people that I've had, that I've worked with, have had, it's really, achievement is not as important as authenticity.
00:08:53.003 -->
00:08:58.822But yet, if you're authentic, my experience is you achieve more success, and you achieve more things.
00:08:59.452 -->
00:09:03.113But it's always, you begin with yourself, but you never end with yourself.
00:09:03.113 -->
00:09:04.523It's about , the greatest good.
00:09:04.523 -->
00:09:05.243The highest good.
00:09:05.932 -->
00:09:12.802And so there's something about sport or doing something and going beyond what is considered the limit.
00:09:13.129 -->
00:09:14.779If I think of, uh, sure.
00:09:15.320 -->
00:09:20.980I wanna say, I don't know if it's Roger or Allen Bannister, I don't know what his name, it might be Roger Bannister.
00:09:21.466 -->
00:09:27.357when he broke the four minute mile before that, it was considered, No one could run a, faster than four minutes.
00:09:27.567 -->
00:09:30.927But when he broke the four minute mile, everybody else started doing it.
00:09:31.018 -->
00:09:33.927And so that's kind of like, they call it a morphogenic field.
00:09:33.927 -->
00:09:38.294When something is done, then the possibility of it repeating itself is enhanced.
00:09:38.865 -->
00:09:48.154And so we have these self-limiting beliefs or these ideas about, like, the earth is flat, and it's not until somebody pushes beyond that boundary that we discover.
00:09:48.154 -->
00:09:49.174There's more to it.
00:09:49.504 -->
00:09:55.727And there's something fascinating about seeing somebody going beyond human, limitations or what we perceive as being limited.
00:09:55.727 -->
00:10:00.972And I would say most of our limitations, uh, beliefs, self limiting beliefs.
00:10:01.633 -->
00:10:09.283And so being able to explore or to ask the question, as Alan Watts said to ask the question, is to know the answer.
00:10:09.743 -->
00:10:13.072And so we ask these questions, we pursue and we, expand.
00:10:13.072 -->
00:10:20.500But when we've been traumatized, and we're doing things just to be accepted, appreciated, and approved, and then when we do that, it's not enough.
00:10:21.100 -->
00:10:26.690That actual disenchantment is a opportunity to investigate and explore what is this?
00:10:26.690 -->
00:10:28.009Why am I really here?
00:10:28.370 -->
00:10:38.240And to really dig deeper and to get through that, that, Martin Buber in the book of the way, a man, he says, we live in a system of hideouts and we're hiding from myself.
00:10:38.240 -->
00:10:42.440We have a divine spark that's encrusted in the shell, a isolating shell.
00:10:42.769 -->
00:10:51.527And our job is to break out of it or to help some, have somebody help us break out of it and share that with everybody else, with the rest of the world to offer it to the world.
00:10:52.023 -->
00:10:58.850So that's, that those are beliefs that I've been, those ideas, those ideas that are ideas that have been stimulating.
00:10:58.850 -->
00:11:03.533My, my curiosity and my, interests how do we do their things?
00:11:03.623 -->
00:11:06.743Why was I able to get clean when so many other people weren't?
00:11:07.253 -->
00:11:08.812And what motivates people?
00:11:08.812 -->
00:11:16.827Those are the things that, going back 40 years ago, that stimulated my interest and in pursuing that to pursuing excellence and wisdom with grace and ease.
00:11:16.827 -->
00:11:17.998Why am I doing that?
00:11:18.597 -->
00:11:20.408Because that's my bliss.
00:11:21.187 -->
00:11:22.477that's what lights me up.
00:11:22.567 -->
00:11:29.160And being able to see somebody light up, see somebody, unlock and then, but it's not a, you unlock once and that's it.
00:11:29.191 -->
00:11:30.030No, you unlock.
00:11:30.030 -->
00:11:32.880But then as things, things are always changing.
00:11:32.880 -->
00:11:33.750You're always changing.
00:11:33.750 -->
00:11:35.071The environment's always changing.
00:11:35.291 -->
00:11:38.760There's always another level, another mountain to climb.
00:11:39.120 -->
00:11:42.360But it's not climbing it for some purpose.
00:11:42.750 -->
00:11:45.301The idea is what Emmi had talked about.
00:11:45.750 -->
00:11:52.168You get to a point where you do the activity for the intrinsic value of the doing the activity for itself.
00:11:52.557 -->
00:11:53.457It's the activity.
00:11:53.457 -->
00:11:54.748It is the, it's a journey.
00:11:54.748 -->
00:11:57.028That's the real thing, not the destination.
00:11:57.408 -->
00:11:57.732All right.
00:11:57.778 -->
00:12:10.538And so each moment you can, I, you can be successful, you're always getting a little bit better than you were before, but you can experience the joy, discovery, living that sense of wonder, the mystery.
00:12:10.985 -->
00:12:13.643And we all have that capacity to do that.
00:12:13.793 -->
00:12:16.043And then we're not limited.
00:12:16.043 -->
00:12:17.363So Okay.
00:12:17.363 -->
00:12:20.033They come along and say, oh, can you help us run a Stanley Cup?
00:12:20.033 -->
00:12:26.499I've never worked with a NHL team before, but um, I have opportunity to transform people.
00:12:26.798 -->
00:12:27.604To unlock people.
00:12:28.178 -->
00:12:28.749Okay.
00:12:28.749 -->
00:12:29.349Let's do it.
00:12:30.068 -->
00:12:30.668Let's go for it.
00:12:31.655 -->
00:12:41.056know, on the point of, of working with, as many athletes as you have and as many sports teams as you have, what do you do exactly when you are hired?
00:12:41.086 -->
00:12:45.785When you were brought on with the Oilers and you're a coach, are you teaching them meditation?
00:12:45.785 -->
00:12:46.716Do you have classes?
00:12:46.883 -->
00:12:47.192What?
00:12:47.687 -->
00:12:52.602Contribution do you make that helps them to have a mindset for success?
00:12:53.365 -->
00:12:53.755Yes.
00:12:53.816 -->
00:12:56.485So I like to talk about this idea of self-mastery.
00:12:56.802 -->
00:13:07.229And in my mind, my definition of self-mastery is to get to a place where you get to self-mastery by having self-awareness and self-regulation.
00:13:07.562 -->
00:13:09.692And so what do I mean by self-awareness?
00:13:09.692 -->
00:13:16.815That means the awareness of myself, but awareness of myself and the world that I'm operating in so that I have mirror mine.
00:13:16.863 -->
00:13:18.663So I'm just reflecting what's there.
00:13:18.932 -->
00:13:22.052And through that self-awareness, I get to self-regulate.
00:13:22.592 -->
00:13:23.373So what does that mean?
00:13:23.373 -->
00:13:30.489Self-regulate, that means self-generated thoughts, feeling behaviors, even the ways, the way I interpret experience.
00:13:30.969 -->
00:13:32.139And so that's it.
00:13:32.139 -->
00:13:48.910So when I can get to a place where no matter what happens to me, I get victimized, traumatized, or, Whatever it is desensitized that I have the ability to step back and observe experience in ways where I can change my reaction or my response to things.
00:13:48.910 -->
00:13:53.230So when I react to something, there's no space between stimulus and response, and it's a knee jerk.
00:13:53.260 -->
00:13:55.091It's a habitual way of behaving.
00:13:55.471 -->
00:14:04.500Versus if I can create space between stimulus and response, as Viktor Frankl talked about, and the space between stimulus and response, I have the freedom and power to choose.
00:14:04.740 -->
00:14:09.961So I get to choose, so what are my values, uh, core values and worthy cause?
00:14:09.961 -->
00:14:13.831And then by that, then that informs what choices I make.
00:14:14.311 -->
00:14:19.620But it's always realizing that the ultimate freedom, as Viktor Frankl talked about, he, wrote a lot of books.
00:14:19.620 -->
00:14:20.850Man's Search For Meaning.
00:14:21.811 -->
00:14:30.750He talked about this idea of unavoidable freedom or when you're experience, well, ultimate freedom when you're experiencing unavoidable suffering.
00:14:30.811 -->
00:14:36.270And you get to choose how you respond, your attitude and how you relate to it.
00:14:36.390 -->
00:14:41.360And he also said, suffering ceases to be suffering when we find meaning in it.
00:14:41.880 -->
00:14:44.191And so we are meaning making.
00:14:44.191 -->
00:14:45.000Machines.
00:14:45.061 -->
00:14:46.941I wouldn't even say machines, but, events.
00:14:46.946 -->
00:14:52.490Uh, so people think we're, and I read this and I read over a book a week for the last 40 years.
00:14:53.038 -->
00:14:54.687people think that we're fixed points.
00:14:54.687 -->
00:14:55.947We are not fixed points.
00:14:56.488 -->
00:14:58.408We are ever changing events.
00:14:58.738 -->
00:15:00.327So we're always in the becoming.
00:15:01.168 -->
00:15:06.437And so we can have multiplicity of, careers or take on different roles or whatever.
00:15:06.498 -->
00:15:11.280And it's not so much what you're doing as who you are being while you're doing.
00:15:11.677 -->
00:15:14.918So it's all about being, it's an existential thing.
00:15:15.038 -->
00:15:19.748And they talk about being in potentiality and then be able to re reach our potential.
00:15:19.748 -->
00:15:22.658So why is it so challenging for us to reach our potential?
00:15:23.107 -->
00:15:30.148Because as so and talked about back in 1846, he talked about one side of the coin.
00:15:30.357 -->
00:15:31.018I have a.
00:15:31.812 -->
00:15:34.962American Quarter is potential or freedom.
00:15:35.052 -->
00:15:37.783The other side of the coin is uncertainty, anxiety.
00:15:38.293 -->
00:15:41.635They come together just like the duality of life and death.
00:15:41.985 -->
00:15:46.155the duality of good and evil and, and we have to deal.
00:15:46.155 -->
00:15:47.505It is always a conflict.
00:15:47.505 -->
00:15:48.765How do I use my time?
00:15:48.765 -->
00:15:50.816I have, you know, I have autonomy.
00:15:50.816 -->
00:15:59.432I can choose what I focus on, but that's, if I'm aware of the fact that the environment is, is acting on me or I'm, I'm meeting what I mirror.
00:15:59.763 -->
00:16:02.253And if I don't like what I see, I can change it.
00:16:02.493 -->
00:16:03.783I can go inside and change it.
00:16:04.523 -->
00:16:16.143Neville Goddard, it wrote a lot of books, uh, one of them is the Power of Awareness and many others, and in one of his books, on the side page, it says, leave the mirror alone and change your face.
00:16:17.019 -->
00:16:17.830Think about that.
00:16:18.187 -->
00:16:20.037If I'm frowning, then I can change that.
00:16:20.756 -->
00:16:21.746And that's what life is.
00:16:21.746 -->
00:16:25.557Life happens to us, but we have a choice and we have the freedom to choose.
00:16:25.616 -->
00:16:31.586Even when we are programmed or addicted, we have the freedom to de- addict ourselves or to reprogram ourselves.
00:16:32.000 -->
00:16:35.210And some people have these ideas that everything's determined.
00:16:35.539 -->
00:16:39.289Yeah, there's a lawfulness in the universe, but it's not determined especially.
00:16:39.679 -->
00:16:52.486But if you look at it from a Newtonian, view of physics, where you got these large bodies and, uh, force, equals counterforce, that's very different than the, quantum realm where the observed and the observer interacting.
00:16:53.062 -->
00:16:58.376So as, your intention and your quality of your mind has everything to do with how you see and, what you create.
00:16:59.246 -->
00:17:02.697And so now that makes it a lot more, but how can you.
00:17:03.057 -->
00:17:05.247Coexist in two parts of the universe.
00:17:06.207 -->
00:17:09.596Uh, you know, they have all of these theories that we don't, we don't really know.
00:17:09.596 -->
00:17:11.517It's, it's strange than we can think.
00:17:12.047 -->
00:17:13.217If you really think about it.
00:17:13.307 -->
00:17:23.614And if you think about just the idea of galaxies and our galaxy, to get from one end of our galaxy to the other end, it takes a hundred thousand light years.
00:17:24.144 -->
00:17:29.547Yet this galaxy bigger than ours, that it takes 6 million light years to go from one end to the other.
00:17:30.000 -->
00:17:32.760And then there's probably galaxies bigger than that.
00:17:32.760 -->
00:17:35.490And there's billions and billions and trillions of galaxies.
00:17:36.030 -->
00:17:37.500It's beyond what we can think.
00:17:38.040 -->
00:17:42.487And so when you think about it that way, whoa, there's a lot we don't know.
00:17:43.551 -->
00:17:43.912true.
00:17:44.017 -->
00:17:48.487but yet the only thing that we, we know for sure, and it is interesting.
00:17:49.016 -->
00:17:57.943Because I spoke on a Tim Ferris podcast and, Lewis Howes School of Greatness, and they both asked me, what three things do I know as three things?
00:17:58.259 -->
00:18:01.304I forget what the question, but I answered the same way.
00:18:01.574 -->
00:18:05.673And when I reflected on those podcasts, I realized I said the same thing.
00:18:06.003 -->
00:18:13.457And so the three things that I talked about was, number one, the only time you have is now Number two, the only one you could be is you.
00:18:13.931 -->
00:18:15.580And number three, all you need is love.
00:18:16.641 -->
00:18:18.560So that's a good one.
00:18:19.790 -->
00:18:21.500.
00:18:19.790 -->
00:18:21.500It's like, so that's it.
00:18:21.740 -->
00:18:23.721And so now is always changing.
00:18:24.050 -->
00:18:27.230So even if you think about the past of the future, you can only do that now.
00:18:27.626 -->
00:18:33.626And we could try to be who we think others think we should be or be who we think we ought to be.
00:18:33.987 -->
00:18:35.967But in reality, we just have to be who we are.
00:18:36.461 -->
00:18:37.705. And that's an inside job.
00:18:37.705 -->
00:18:41.365And you know when you are being authentically yourself'cause you will feel it.
00:18:41.911 -->
00:18:42.330see it.
00:18:42.663 -->
00:18:47.163But it's not something people have access to because we have a system of hideouts, we're always hiding out.
00:18:47.163 -->
00:19:03.044For myself, I have this persona I want you to see instead of being, so you mentioned the V word, the vulnerability, being willing, being vulnerable to be who you really are and to feel what you're really feeling now in spite of what it might mean or how it might affect how you behave.
00:19:04.769 -->
00:19:06.749Know the truth and the truth shall make you free.
00:19:07.318 -->
00:19:10.169So th own self be true Shakespeare.
00:19:10.769 -->
00:19:14.219And that's, that's what our challenge is, to be real, to be authentic.
00:19:14.219 -->
00:19:17.638And we have a bullshit meter when people are not being authentic, we can feel it.
00:19:17.909 -->
00:19:22.318But when they're being authentic, when they're being vulnerable, there's a power in the vulnerability.
00:19:22.528 -->
00:19:42.328I was just talking today, you know, coming up, well, you don't know, but coming up on, you know, having celebrated 40 years and reflecting on what that meant and what was key for me to do that, uh, you start to realize that once I admit it, I was powerless or I don't know, then I kind of know, as you know, once again, a power of myth.
00:19:42.328 -->
00:19:52.949So Campbell said, those who think they know, don't know, and those who don't know, know, and it's this, this conundrum and these paradoxes that we have to figure out.
00:19:53.519 -->
00:19:59.308People love being in the flow or zone, but if you try to get in the flow or the zone, you won't get there.
00:19:59.766 -->
00:20:02.046And it's like happiness cannot be pursued.
00:20:02.046 -->
00:20:04.355It ensues Virkto Frankl again.
00:20:04.895 -->
00:20:09.612So it's like trying to catch water in a paper bag, as Alan Watts talked about.
00:20:09.612 -->
00:20:10.481You can't grab it.
00:20:10.481 -->
00:20:11.382You can't grasp it.
00:20:12.375 -->
00:20:18.435So you know that, and you don't have to make a problem out of it, but trying to make everything linear, one plus one equals two.
00:20:19.125 -->
00:20:23.506There's the non-linear, there's the consciousness and there's the unconsciousness.
00:20:23.806 -->
00:20:28.010There's what we call, declarative learning or explicit learning.
00:20:28.070 -->
00:20:32.990And then there's non declarative or implicit learning where we learn things that we don't even know.
00:20:32.990 -->
00:20:33.471We learn.
00:20:33.500 -->
00:20:36.830We actually learn better unconsciously than we do consciously.
00:20:37.070 -->
00:20:44.361'cause there's a pattern detector, there's a wisdom that goes, that comes outta that silence and stillness that we can't quantify.
00:20:44.451 -->
00:20:45.861It's beyond human resources.
00:20:45.861 -->
00:20:46.580Joseph Campbell will talk about it.
00:20:47.780 -->
00:20:49.161So we live in a mystery.
00:20:49.371 -->
00:20:56.631There's some things that we can know and some things we don't know, but we can extrapolate or we can see the effects of it.
00:20:57.300 -->
00:20:58.351But we can't claim it.
00:20:58.740 -->
00:21:02.790And I like to use the example of you learn how to ride a bike.
00:21:02.790 -->
00:21:02.911How?
00:21:02.911 -->
00:21:03.721How did you do that?
00:21:03.721 -->
00:21:04.891How do you explain that?
00:21:05.550 -->
00:21:08.701But yet, once you learn how to ride a bike, you always know how to ride a bike.
00:21:09.000 -->
00:21:09.750What's up with that?
00:21:10.266 -->
00:21:10.346Hmm.
00:21:10.711 -->
00:21:12.361That's implicit, non-collaborative learning.
00:21:12.361 -->
00:21:16.326You don't even know, you know it until you to, it expresses itself.
00:21:16.356 -->
00:21:23.557So there's some things that are going on now that you, I might be aware of or learning that we don't even know.
00:21:23.557 -->
00:21:26.436We learn until it expresses itself sometime in the future.
00:21:26.871 -->
00:21:30.374you mentioned the, concept of, authenticity a lot.
00:21:30.864 -->
00:21:36.895this is is something where you even mention it in your book, that we need to live authentically.
00:21:37.195 -->
00:21:46.439And I'd really love to dig into that because when you say to live authentically, in some ways, I'm hearing that that should be your source of motivation.
00:21:46.679 -->
00:21:55.864That we shouldn't be motivated by external desires, by having a, bunch of Olympic medals, by, having nice things that culture tells us that we should desire.
00:21:55.864 -->
00:22:00.760So, we should work hard to get these things, and obviously you can get those things and not be happy.
00:22:01.090 -->
00:22:13.517And what I really would love to know, what does it mean to live authentically as a source of waking up every day and feeling excited for the things and the life that you have.
00:22:14.392 -->
00:22:19.798So when I got clean and I started seeing things differently, I was working as a financial analyst.
00:22:20.729 -->
00:22:25.949Uh, working in, um, in the defense industry for 14 years and two years in the high tech industry.
00:22:26.422 -->
00:22:35.645And so I, I was really good at what I did and after I left my job of nine years and went to a new place, I thought that things would be different.
00:22:36.695 -->
00:22:41.165But when I went there, I was doing my job, but I wasn't really.
00:22:41.738 -->
00:22:42.607Really into it.
00:22:42.607 -->
00:22:45.788I would forget meetings or I just wasn't that interested.
00:22:45.948 -->
00:22:48.468but my mind was telling me, oh yeah, I'm really good at this.
00:22:48.468 -->
00:22:51.137I get paid money and I don't know what else I would do.
00:22:51.528 -->
00:22:57.968And I remember, and I talk about this, in those days there weren't too many people doing the process, that we offer now.
00:22:57.998 -->
00:23:00.067Mind, you know, uh, meditation.
00:23:00.127 -->
00:23:00.758I, so I had a.
00:23:01.048 -->
00:23:03.928My teacher, I used to go and meet with him once a week.
00:23:04.137 -->
00:23:05.397'cause there weren't that many of us.
00:23:05.397 -->
00:23:06.478I had a lot of access.
00:23:07.167 -->
00:23:14.989And I go in to meet with him one day and as I walk into the interview room, he says, Hey, what's going on with you today?
00:23:14.989 -->
00:23:16.068And I said, what do you mean?
00:23:16.068 -->
00:23:17.179He says, you seem happy.
00:23:17.596 -->
00:23:19.771And I said, oh, I took a mental health day off today.
00:23:19.771 -->
00:23:21.271And he said, you should make a habit of that.
00:23:21.872 -->
00:23:26.828So I wasn't being authentic with how I really felt about the job.
00:23:26.828 -->
00:23:29.884And the way that Psyche works sometimes is we hide.
00:23:30.038 -->
00:23:31.148We have a system of hideouts.
00:23:31.148 -->
00:23:34.628We don't want to accept that factor, then we have to leave.
00:23:35.048 -->
00:23:40.509So it could be a relationship, it could be a work situation, it could be a notion of who we think we are.
00:23:40.778 -->
00:23:42.638Because when we talk about the fear of death.
00:23:42.971 -->
00:23:44.201it is really a fear of non being.
00:23:44.201 -->
00:23:45.612It's not just the physical death.
00:23:46.001 -->
00:23:55.781It's a fear of, uh, of not being able, uh, this fear of a way of being, a fear of who we think we are versus who we really are.
00:23:56.082 -->
00:24:01.643Because, and I'll say this, we are not what we think we are, but what we think we are.
00:24:01.883 -->
00:24:07.073So what I'm really saying about authenticity is to really listen to how we are thinking.
00:24:07.313 -->
00:24:08.813'cause that's how we're really being.
00:24:08.813 -->
00:24:12.682That's who we really are versus what the ideas we have about who we are.
00:24:12.952 -->
00:24:13.792Does that make sense?
00:24:14.272 -->
00:24:20.979And so when you become authentic, you, have to go deep and realize that you're not happy where you are, even though.
00:24:21.398 -->
00:24:27.669But there's a part of you that doesn't like to change, doesn't want to deal with the anxiety of not knowing or the uncertainty.
00:24:27.669 -->
00:24:29.259That's involved in that.
00:24:29.769 -->
00:24:35.138So it takes a certain amount of courage and I would call to get to the Hall of Fame, the HOF.
00:24:35.138 -->
00:24:40.808You need hope, optimism, and faith to be able to say, yeah, I'm hiding myself and I'm doing this.
00:24:40.808 -->
00:24:43.028I don't really know what I want to do, but this ain't it.
00:24:43.358 -->
00:24:44.409And you kind of did that.
00:24:45.159 -->
00:24:46.509Well, you didn't kind of do do that.
00:24:46.568 -->
00:24:48.969You did it, you all this money, you got a company.
00:24:48.969 -->
00:24:51.759Then you just sold it and say, okay, that's not what I want to do.
00:24:52.328 -->
00:24:54.608So it comes with disenchantment.
00:24:54.699 -->
00:25:03.623It comes from realizing that you're not happy and, and you, you might have some guilt because you, you have more than most, but that's not what happiness is.
00:25:04.222 -->
00:25:09.833And so however you're feeling like some of us was politically correct, we say, okay, we're supposed to like this person.
00:25:10.103 -->
00:25:13.222This is a family member or this is a member of my team.
00:25:13.432 -->
00:25:17.153You don't pick your teammates and your family, but being authentic.
00:25:17.813 -->
00:25:19.373Saying, I don't really like that person.
00:25:19.432 -->
00:25:22.403If that person wasn't related to me, I wouldn't have anything to do with them.
00:25:22.673 -->
00:25:23.423Nothing personal.
00:25:23.423 -->
00:25:24.653It's just that we don't vibe.
00:25:24.653 -->
00:25:26.903It's not, we're not in the same energy.
00:25:27.143 -->
00:25:34.942And so acknowledging that doesn't mean you have to leave, but acknowledges that you are staying in a situation that no longer fulfills you.
00:25:35.573 -->
00:25:42.843And so the authenticity is being real with that instead of being conflicted or saying, yeah, I don't like it, but I'm choosing to be here.
00:25:43.232 -->
00:25:47.259And at some point, when you know it and you get to the point, you'll leave.
00:25:47.259 -->
00:25:56.288And so it took my teacher, it took me getting into a place where it was harder to stay than to leave because they wanted me to be, to violate my principles, to stay there.
00:25:56.709 -->
00:26:03.580And I got to a dark night of the soul, you might say, where I, I couldn't leave and I couldn't stay.
00:26:03.580 -->
00:26:04.780The same with my recovery.
00:26:04.780 -->
00:26:07.753I hit bottom and I couldn't keep doing it.
00:26:07.753 -->
00:26:08.773I couldn't not do it.
00:26:09.253 -->
00:26:13.317And then at some point, the crap hit the fan and I made a choice.
00:26:13.808 -->
00:26:21.068And when I made that choice, there was a death of, you know, you, I went through grieving and that's part of the problem when you gotta let go to grow.
00:26:21.068 -->
00:26:25.318But when you let go, when you accept, yes, I'm powerless or yeah, I'm vulnerable.
00:26:26.076 -->
00:26:31.955go through the stages of grief, you go through denial, bargaining, anger, depression, acceptance.
00:26:31.955 -->
00:26:33.066Do you get the acceptance?
00:26:33.125 -->
00:26:34.175You get the acceptance.
00:26:34.266 -->
00:26:37.881You have to say yes and embrace it and work through it.
00:26:38.675 -->
00:26:40.145Just really get clear about it.
00:26:40.145 -->
00:26:46.355And so we have all of these norms and the cultural, and everybody else is telling us who we need to be or who they think we ought to be.
00:26:46.865 -->
00:26:52.175But our first choice as a leader is to choose to be ourselves regardless of the consequences.
00:26:52.536 -->
00:26:54.855So you could be, Adam, you get kicked outta eden.
00:26:55.566 -->
00:27:00.256You know, because, because you chose another path or you chose to see things differently.
00:27:00.496 -->
00:27:10.455We want people to be around us to think like we do instead of realizing, no, embrace their diversity and it can make life rich, but it makes us look at what we are doing.
00:27:11.115 -->
00:27:15.675And then there's this sense of, okay, maybe I'm living a un authentic life.
00:27:16.394 -->
00:27:17.894and that happens to people.
00:27:18.144 -->
00:27:24.503Elisabeth Kübler-Ross is the psychiatrist that came up with the death and dying and, and the stages of grief.
00:27:24.804 -->
00:27:29.364And I remember her talking about talking to this doctor that was, no, he wasn't a doctor.
00:27:29.453 -->
00:27:30.294Yeah, he was a doctor.
00:27:30.294 -->
00:27:33.173He was 65 years old and he was in therapy with her.
00:27:33.173 -->
00:27:35.804And he said, you know, all I wanted to do was to be a pianist.
00:27:35.834 -->
00:27:38.864I didn't want to be a doctor, but my mom wanted me, be a doctor.
00:27:39.223 -->
00:27:41.503And I wasn't strong enough to say, no, I'm not doing that.
00:27:41.503 -->
00:27:43.513I'm doing what I, I'm following my bliss.
00:27:43.513 -->
00:27:44.923I'm gonna do what I want to do.
00:27:45.314 -->
00:27:46.483Well, how are you gonna survive?
00:27:46.483 -->
00:27:47.713How are you gonna make a living?
00:27:48.080 -->
00:27:49.010that's not so important.
00:27:49.394 -->
00:27:51.673What's important as me being myself and figuring it out?
00:27:51.673 -->
00:27:58.010So I could be a school teacher making not a lot of money, but if that's what my heart wants me to do, then that's success.
00:27:58.010 -->
00:28:00.770But it takes a tremendous amount of courage to do that.
00:28:01.354 -->
00:28:03.840Because we're not, encouraged to be authentic.
00:28:04.411 -->
00:28:05.641We're encouraged to fit in.
00:28:06.181 -->
00:28:09.090And even you have some people used to go to therapy.
00:28:09.090 -->
00:28:19.567When I was studying to be a psychotherapist, you have some people to go to therapy and they think their job is to help people fit in and say, okay, you're in the job, you're in this relationship.
00:28:20.022 -->
00:28:25.657you just gotta deal with your, whatever comes up or whatever you know, just, get, so you can be there.
00:28:25.897 -->
00:28:31.508But what it costs you to be there is you gotta drink and drug because there's a part of you that's conflicted and doesn't want to be there.
00:28:32.198 -->
00:28:34.357And you're, not being true to yourself.
00:28:34.778 -->
00:28:42.884And when you're not being true to yourself, something is going to, the conflict is going to, manifest in the psychosomatically or whatever.
00:28:43.034 -->
00:28:46.273Mind and body work, you know, your mind is so powerful.
00:28:46.907 -->
00:28:50.597That our beliefs are so powerful we create with that.
00:28:50.657 -->
00:29:04.087And so if you think about it, and this is what fascinated me when I first started doing this, one of the main things was this person has multiple personality disorder and in one personality they're diabetic and the other one they're not.
00:29:04.657 -->
00:29:05.887How do you explain that?
00:29:05.887 -->
00:29:08.887One or one personality They can see.
00:29:09.097 -->
00:29:11.218And the other one that, they need glasses.
00:29:12.238 -->
00:29:15.958The only thing that's changed is their self-image or how they're seeing themselves.
00:29:16.498 -->
00:29:17.577It's the only thing that's changed.
00:29:17.577 -->
00:29:19.167But physiologically it's the same.
00:29:19.827 -->
00:29:28.045And so you do it with, you could see it with, you know, hypnosis where they'll hypnotize somebody and say, I got a iron poke and I'm gonna touch you here.
00:29:28.434 -->
00:29:29.634Then the blister appears.
00:29:30.085 -->
00:29:30.845What's up with that?
00:29:31.607 -->
00:29:34.307But we don't understand how powerful our thoughts are.
00:29:34.577 -->
00:29:41.238So one of the thoughts we may be thinking is actually causing illness or causing us not to be open to who we are.
00:29:41.897 -->
00:29:45.073.
00:29:41.897 -->
00:29:59.690And that's an internal investigation, us that can help us, like my teacher say, Hey man, you're happy now even though you don't wanna admit it, 'cause you admit it, you have to quit that job or that relationship, or quit, you know, quit, uh, being inauthentic and doing stuff that you don't want to do, but you think you should do.
00:29:59.839 -->
00:30:00.920That's when the shoulds come in.
00:30:01.099 -->
00:30:03.593You should do that instead of listening to your heart.
00:30:03.623 -->
00:30:11.563So, Rollo May talks about, I think it was Rollo May, or I don't know if it was Erich Fromm or Rollo May, one of those guys talked about love and will.
00:30:11.607 -->
00:30:21.988I think it might've been, uh, Rollo May, but, or it might've been, I don't know if it was Erich Fromm, but he talked about developing love your mind and your heart and not say, don't be emotional.
00:30:21.988 -->
00:30:22.798Just be up here.
00:30:22.798 -->
00:30:27.038But no, your emotion in your heart, they interact and they can support each other.
00:30:27.335 -->
00:30:28.055Does that make sense?
00:30:28.055 -->
00:30:29.615I think it's Erich Fromm, actually.
00:30:29.615 -->
00:30:57.244He wrote the book, The Art of Loving, but they're all existential therapists they use psychoanalysis, but they, the existential philosophy about, about potential and authenticity and things like that, that helped me understand myself just realizing that, yeah, I'm a unique individual and it's my job to be me and not to do what people think or I should be, or who I ought to be, but me to make the decision to be myself.
00:30:58.127 -->
00:31:12.948And that's so important today than ever when we're in a society now, especially where, young adults have access to Instagram, TikTok, and they see examples of other people who have this success and then they themselves derive it.
00:31:13.218 -->
00:31:15.198But it's kind of like a fake, desire.
00:31:15.438 -->
00:31:23.627It's not necessarily what they want, but they tend to embody this based on what they think others.
00:31:23.657 -->
00:31:30.798say is acceptable for them to want, and then we end up having so many people living an inauthentic life.
00:31:31.188 -->
00:31:42.105So how does, so in your book, you say first, however, it is important to learn, to be still and develop insight, to have the capacity and awareness to see things as they are.
00:31:42.644 -->
00:31:57.525And so how do we have the, how do we find that capacity to sit still and sit with our, subconscious and pull out what is it that we actually want and how do we separate that from what others tell us that they want?
00:31:58.250 -->
00:31:58.640Yes.
00:31:58.730 -->
00:32:01.059So, these guys wrote a lot of books.
00:32:01.089 -->
00:32:08.833One of Erich Fromm book is Escape from Freedom and I mentioned The Way of Man by Martin Buber and we have Hideouts.
00:32:09.289 -->
00:32:18.190And one of the ways we do, we escape freedom by authoritarianism conformism, hiding in plain sight.
00:32:18.678 -->
00:32:19.738And we do that.
00:32:20.390 -->
00:32:23.240And we fit in, but there's a part of us that knows it's not right.
00:32:23.609 -->
00:32:26.500and you can see a lot now with the dictators and everything.
00:32:26.890 -->
00:32:32.079So the formula is make things chaotic so that you gotta go to daddy to save you.
00:32:32.640 -->
00:32:34.950so you have an authoritarian.
00:32:35.595 -->
00:32:40.095That tells you when to eat, when to sleep, and all the other stuff, and tells you what you can do with your body and whatnot.
00:32:40.484 -->
00:32:45.045And so on some level you feel secure, but there's a false sense of security.
00:32:45.494 -->
00:32:54.734And at the same time, you feel resentment and you might even feel guilt knowing that you're not being yourself and you're not being honest with how you really feel, but to be part of the group.
00:32:55.035 -->
00:32:58.884And if you get to a point where it's a cult, you're not allowed to have your own feelings.
00:32:58.884 -->
00:33:00.414Everybody has to have a group thing.
00:33:00.414 -->
00:33:02.214You have to think for yourself.
00:33:02.694 -->
00:33:04.565But, that's not who we are.
00:33:05.105 -->
00:33:10.384And so we have to see what's my hideouts, what hideouts am I engaging in?
00:33:10.755 -->
00:33:14.785how am I escaping from my freedom and it's authoritarianism?
00:33:14.815 -->
00:33:17.125Or some one of 'em is even destructiveness.
00:33:17.125 -->
00:33:17.994Just blow stuff up.
00:33:17.994 -->
00:33:20.785Because if you don't have a self, you can't have fear of it.
00:33:21.505 -->
00:33:24.805So you blow yourself up, you blow people up, you don't matter.
00:33:24.805 -->
00:33:26.515It's suicide bombers and whatnot.
00:33:26.515 -->
00:33:28.914So you can see it's all about escape of freedom.
00:33:28.974 -->
00:33:31.525escape from the fact that you make choices.
00:33:31.555 -->
00:33:34.434You have self-awareness, you make choices, you have self-mastery.
00:33:34.734 -->
00:33:39.438You can choose to be yourself, but are you willing to take the blowback from being yourself?
00:33:39.498 -->
00:33:43.188Because the challenge is we're in a network of relationships.
00:33:43.607 -->
00:33:56.988And if you see the metaphor of being in a boat and one person moves a rowboat or a canoe and one person moves, everybody has to move or switch, or it's gonna tip over so people feel like this, this change is being forced on them.
00:33:57.198 -->
00:33:59.268'cause you change, your relationships change.
00:33:59.529 -->
00:33:59.769Hmm.
00:34:00.085 -->
00:34:02.484They change, and people they change anyway.
00:34:03.115 -->
00:34:08.335But we keep act relating to each other as we used to be, instead of relating to each other as we are now.
00:34:08.815 -->
00:34:09.625You can see that.
00:34:10.045 -->
00:34:12.625You can imagine how many people in the room if you.
00:34:13.382 -->
00:34:27.963you know, who you think you are, who you want other people to see, and you know, at least three iterations, you know, I have this persona, I want you to see this, but then this is how I really think about myself.
00:34:28.322 -->
00:34:32.163And then, then this is how I, I really am.
00:34:32.612 -->
00:34:34.413So you have all these permutations.
00:34:34.862 -->
00:34:41.889So if you say two people, this can be so many different variations on that relationship instead of being who you really are.
00:34:41.889 -->
00:34:45.621And even that is, is challenging because it's, it's, it's like a flow.
00:34:46.161 -->
00:34:46.851It's like flows.
00:34:46.942 -->
00:34:48.052So it's a becoming.
00:34:49.161 -->
00:34:50.001So you're always doing it.
00:34:50.001 -->
00:34:55.161But that's why core values are really helpful in deciding the principles that we're gonna live by.
00:34:55.869 -->
00:35:02.708That, Stephen Covey talks about, think win-win come from an abundance paradigm, you know, synergize.
00:35:03.429 -->
00:35:08.061So you and I have, we agree that it is not your way, not my way, it's the third way.
00:35:08.362 -->
00:35:13.222But that third way has to be a way that doesn't violate your core values or your core principles.
00:35:13.652 -->
00:35:19.994And so we have to be able to do that, but it takes vulnerability to do that, to actually come up with a third way that works for both of us.
00:35:21.119 -->
00:35:35.653George, I'm curious, have you ever had a conversation with an athlete in which you talked about the idea of, being authentic, knowing who we are as a person, and then they came to some realization and decided that, you know what, I'm not gonna be an athlete.
00:35:35.653 -->
00:35:38.083and they quit and did something completely different.
00:35:39.179 -->
00:35:41.878Yes, I had one situation in particular.
00:35:42.442 -->
00:35:43.882I was working with this young lady.
00:35:43.882 -->
00:35:54.686She was a freshman at a D one school and she was on the national team, so she was really good soccer player, and as a sophomore, a freshman, she talked about the fact.
00:35:55.085 -->
00:35:58.626That she didn't really want to wanna play soccer.
00:35:58.686 -->
00:35:59.766And she struggled with it.
00:36:00.485 -->
00:36:10.326And I don't remember if it was the beginning of her, I know it was the beginning of her freshman year, and then as a sophomore she came back and she had the same thing.
00:36:10.326 -->
00:36:12.356And I encouraged her to follow.
00:36:12.416 -->
00:36:16.916She was lucky enough that her parents had enough money that she could give up a scholarship and still go to school.
00:36:16.916 -->
00:36:28.226But I remember several years later when she, I was in a, uh, finagle bagel or one of those fast food, one of those places, and she came over to me and she gave me a big hug.
00:36:28.226 -->
00:36:33.360She was graduating, but that was the best decision she ever made to stop being an athlete.
00:36:33.360 -->
00:36:36.931And there'll be times when there'll be an athlete that they don't want to be on that team.
00:36:36.931 -->
00:36:37.231For what?
00:36:37.231 -->
00:36:45.931I had another young lady, she was very, um, religious and being a student athlete, she couldn't go to church as much as she wanted to.
00:36:46.349 -->
00:36:48.838And this was in her freshman year actually.
00:36:48.838 -->
00:36:53.228It was, it was a volleyball player and, and it was still preseason.
00:36:53.318 -->
00:36:54.309So we were in preseason.
00:36:54.309 -->
00:36:58.809We didn't get into the season yet, and she, it became clear to her that she didn't want to be there.
00:36:59.378 -->
00:37:03.659And so she came to me and, and I helped her, uh, get out of her scholarship.
00:37:04.228 -->
00:37:05.849And her mother didn't want her to leave.
00:37:06.088 -->
00:37:11.849Her mother was really, was actually, I think she was in the military, but she was really pushing her to stay, but.
00:37:12.284 -->
00:37:14.313I encouraged her to follow.
00:37:14.384 -->
00:37:18.943You know, she didn't want to be there because that energy of not being there is not helpful to her or the team.
00:37:19.664 -->
00:37:29.407And so those are just two instances where I just said, I'm not telling'em what to do, but I'm saying, you know, if your heart is saying it, and it took this one young lady two years to get to that realization.
00:37:29.833 -->
00:37:34.213' cause it's really challenging to just to quit doing what you're doing when you're the best at it.
00:37:35.052 -->
00:37:36.643But it's not fulfilling for you.
00:37:36.643 -->
00:37:40.813It's not what you want to do, but you do it just like me.
00:37:40.813 -->
00:37:42.282Well, I became a financial analyst.
00:37:42.282 -->
00:37:42.492Why?
00:37:42.492 -->
00:37:47.856Because my high school coach told me that accountants make good money and I didn't know who I could be.
00:37:47.856 -->
00:37:50.467And if you don't know who you are, you're gonna end up being anybody.
00:37:50.887 -->
00:37:53.197And if you don't know where you're going, you're gonna end up going anywhere.
00:37:53.197 -->
00:37:59.007But I didn't have the wherewithal, the confidence to be self-directed to be self-led.
00:37:59.612 -->
00:38:01.112And so you, you get what I'm saying?
00:38:01.112 -->
00:38:10.742And so we do this, we do what's convenient or what everybody else is doing, but it takes real work to go inside and think about if you only had six months to live, what would you, how would you, what would you do?
00:38:11.791 -->
00:38:18.512And you see some people, when I worked in the medical center, you see some people were facing death, whether it's through AIDS or cancer or whatever.
00:38:18.871 -->
00:38:21.541They decided how they were gonna live their final days.
00:38:22.097 -->
00:38:27.168Sometimes it takes death to get us to say, well, you know, I'm gonna choose how I go out.
00:38:27.677 -->
00:38:28.728My uncle did that.
00:38:28.728 -->
00:38:33.168He decided that when he was dying of cancer, he didn't wanna take any medication.
00:38:33.498 -->
00:38:42.047Now I had him packed on him, I think because I was talking to him about being sober and not being able to, to engage like always did.
00:38:42.047 -->
00:38:43.487And, and it inspired him.
00:38:43.547 -->
00:38:46.788He wanted to, he said he wanted to see his maker with full consciousness.
00:38:47.327 -->
00:38:49.637So, and this is a, a lifetime alcoholic.
00:38:50.387 -->
00:38:50.418I.
00:38:50.418 -->
00:38:51.378I was doing stuff like that.
00:38:51.527 -->
00:39:00.467But I had real good relationships with my, even though I was dysfunctional, I had a lot of great relationships, especially with my uncles and this particular uncle.
00:39:00.467 -->
00:39:06.612We were really close, even though he lived in another city, but we could be real and we could talk and he would just tell you things.
00:39:06.612 -->
00:39:08.501He didn't sugar coat anything.
00:39:08.831 -->
00:39:09.552He was funny.
00:39:10.331 -->
00:39:12.251But we had that kind of relationship.
00:39:13.061 -->
00:39:17.291And so you see that, and I can't tell you other people who stopped drinking'cause they seen how it affected me.
00:39:17.291 -->
00:39:20.472They didn't have a problem, but they wanted to get what I was getting.
00:39:21.135 -->
00:39:25.012So I just totally transformed just by being able to let go.
00:39:25.012 -->
00:39:27.532And then I started encouraging myself to be myself.
00:39:27.561 -->
00:39:34.251And it's challenging to be that because of the anxiety I talked about, people don't realize, oh, if you're doing what you're really doing, you're really good at it.
00:39:34.251 -->
00:39:35.842What the hell are you being anxious about?
00:39:36.452 -->
00:39:39.092Well, how about the fact that you can get hurt?
00:39:39.414 -->
00:39:42.110or things can change or this uncertainty.
00:39:42.320 -->
00:39:44.090The next moment is unknown.
00:39:44.840 -->
00:39:45.981Tomorrow's unknown.
00:39:46.101 -->
00:39:50.061There's no way you know, that you think, you know, but it's unknown really is.
00:39:50.871 -->
00:39:58.831And so can you embrace the unknown, fully conscious and saying, okay, I don't know what is gonna come, but I know I have self mastery.
00:39:58.891 -->
00:40:01.260I get to choose what my attitude I'm gonna bring.
00:40:01.351 -->
00:40:04.291I get to choose how much energy and effort I bring into it.
00:40:04.501 -->
00:40:05.731I get to choose what in.
00:40:06.391 -->
00:40:09.661I get to interpret it in ways that resonate with me.
00:40:09.721 -->
00:40:11.880The access gives me access to power.
00:40:12.061 -->
00:40:22.951And once again, the resource says 90% of long term happiness, not 10%, but 90% is predicated on how the nervous system and the brain interprets experience.
00:40:23.503 -->
00:40:26.324So is the proverbial glass half empty or half full?
00:40:26.474 -->
00:40:27.103Both right?
00:40:27.103 -->
00:40:27.884Half empty.
00:40:27.974 -->
00:40:29.981Uh, you're in survival mode.
00:40:30.485 -->
00:40:33.925So, and that reptilian brain, nine outta 10 thoughts are gonna be negative.
00:40:34.126 -->
00:40:34.385.
00:40:34.126 -->
00:40:34.385Codie: All right.
00:40:34.755 -->
00:40:36.965So you're gonna be on your toe, on your heels.
00:40:36.965 -->
00:40:50.365But if you see it as half full, now you're in the broaden and build and now you're seeing things and you're making connections and you have access to power, access to, yes, I can access to, oh, I make choices.
00:40:50.365 -->
00:40:51.835If I make a mistake, I learn from it.
00:40:52.465 -->
00:40:53.695Now you're in a growth mindset.
00:40:54.146 -->
00:41:04.076So you're always looking for and realizing that you can change your brain, you can change yourself just by, by the self-awareness and the self-regulation.
00:41:04.615 -->
00:41:12.025Then you get the self-mastery, and then when you have self-mastery, then, whatever organization you go to, then you could talk about, uh, and ripple that through.
00:41:12.025 -->
00:41:16.456So everybody becomes self-led and not in a selfish way.
00:41:16.456 -->
00:41:18.346Self-led in a authentic way.
00:41:18.731 -->
00:41:25.217It seems so much that the default in human nature is to blame other people.
00:41:25.217 -->
00:41:32.463To blame our environment, the way we were grown up as a means of, externalizing and blaming.
00:41:32.838 -->
00:41:34.458The situation that we find ourselves in.
00:41:34.679 -->
00:41:47.001but as you note so much that we have so much power over our perception that that stimulus between what happens and how we respond and that there's so much power in that, and yet we, don't really embody that.
00:41:47.362 -->
00:41:51.900Is, that like a, a realization that you came from years of meditating, you
00:41:52.096 -->
00:42:01.559Well, even, even early in recovery, when in my first, when I got clean, I, came to, um, what was in my face.
00:42:01.708 -->
00:42:02.688I had chronic pain.
00:42:03.192 -->
00:42:06.012Had migraines and back issues and all, all my life.
00:42:06.012 -->
00:42:12.918And I had GI issues dealing with stress and whatever, And I was taking this, stress management course and I learned the three C's.
00:42:14.179 -->
00:42:24.456See things be committed to my development, see things, as challenges instead of as curses, and I could control my reaction or my response to things.
00:42:24.516 -->
00:42:31.755So we call that resilience, stress hardiness, uh, strong, self-efficacy, that I can control.
00:42:32.085 -->
00:42:34.065the externals I can control the internal.
00:42:34.065 -->
00:42:43.815So the locus of control we talk about has to be internal, not external, but we put all the thing out, everything out there, and we do what I call a, B, and D, the blame and denial.
00:42:44.385 -->
00:42:50.179We blame other people, places, and things, never us, or we blame ourselves to the degree that it's.
00:42:50.387 -->
00:42:51.677it's like self torture.
00:42:52.344 -->
00:42:57.204or we deny that it's happening and that's where addiction, a big part of it is denial.
00:42:57.324 -->
00:42:58.884Just acting like nothing's wrong.
00:42:59.253 -->
00:43:08.434And so as long as I blame and deny, then I won't take personal responsibility and I'm giving all the power to the environment that becomes external locus of control.
00:43:09.304 -->
00:43:22.864And when it's an external locus of control, if the situation is right, we react a certain way instead of realizing there's an internal locus of control where it doesn't matter what the environment is doing, it's how you're reacting or responding to it.
00:43:22.916 -->
00:43:25.550And that's where the freedom and power to choose comes in.
00:43:25.581 -->
00:43:30.860When you can start thinking and feeling and behaving in ways to create more space.
00:43:31.300 -->
00:43:40.780Then you can slow things down, and now you're talking about your prefrontal cortex or the executive functions, having access instead of being emotionally hijacked.
00:43:40.780 -->
00:43:47.951So the stimulus goes right to the amygdala, and then you're in the reptilian brain where you're gonna fight, flee, or freeze.
00:43:48.550 -->
00:43:57.641Versus having space and really having access to what you already know, having access to using your wisdom, using your intelligence.
00:43:58.376 -->
00:44:02.286and so a lot of what you talk about is on the power of self-belief.
00:44:02.827 -->
00:44:08.967And I'm somebody who grew up thinking that I would never achieve anything that, nothing I would do would ever matter.
00:44:09.327 -->
00:44:16.186And I ended up utilizing a mix of three different approaches, to help build up my self belief.
00:44:16.467 -->
00:44:22.197I'd like to share what these three things that I came up with are and, and then ask you some questions after that.
00:44:22.811 -->
00:44:25.771The first one the obvious, fake it till you make it.
00:44:26.110 -->
00:44:36.797I think this is a very common one, but it often stems in my opinion, from a deep insecurity that we may not be the person that we are pretending to be.
00:44:37.246 -->
00:44:44.356And unless we make progress quickly, then I think this, this form of self-belief can quickly shatter.
00:44:44.934 -->
00:44:49.494The second one is a faith and a higher power or destiny.
00:44:49.876 -->
00:44:55.960I think this can provide a boundless source of self-belief as long as we don't stray from the faith.
00:44:56.590 -->
00:45:05.289But on the downside it's possible that it can, I think it can lead to feelings of grandiosity and extreme narcissism, especially if we have any underlying trauma.
00:45:05.682 -->
00:45:12.583lastly number three is, we can build that internal self-belief through overcoming obstacles, like overcoming challenges.
00:45:12.632 -->
00:45:23.626and that creates this sense that we can look back on of all these achievements that our ego can refer to during all the tough times that, that we need that or we need something to help keep us going.
00:45:24.396 -->
00:45:31.940so really, my, question is how can we, what's the proper mix of, these sources of self-belief?
00:45:32.181 -->
00:45:33.463Are there any.
00:45:33.960 -->
00:45:42.639Any one or multiple that you saw Kobe, Michael Jordan, et cetera, what was the form of self-belief that gave some of the most successful athletes that you work with?
00:45:42.639 -->
00:45:47.224that internal locus control, that power, that, that ability to live authentically.
00:45:48.130 -->
00:45:53.327I would say that, let's just, talk about the three things you talked about.
00:45:53.568 -->
00:45:59.748'cause I think even though you say certain things, I think there's some, there's a positive and a negative to it.
00:46:00.168 -->
00:46:02.177and I would call it unshakeable belief.
00:46:02.177 -->
00:46:04.398Not just belief in self, but belief in others.
00:46:04.398 -->
00:46:09.371But I start off with original blessing or this idea that we have a masterpiece within.
00:46:09.371 -->
00:46:11.201We have everything we need to succeed.
00:46:11.201 -->
00:46:12.371We just have to access it.
00:46:13.001 -->
00:46:13.811We have divinity.
00:46:13.811 -->
00:46:22.210And it's interesting, I've studied, um, and hopefully I won't get too far off track, but I studied, um, Edgar Casey, the sleeping prophet.
00:46:23.036 -->
00:46:25.195And I studied him for years.
00:46:25.675 -->
00:46:41.202And one of the things he talks about is that when we align ourselves with divine principles like love or faith, hope and love, or any of those things, uh, I call the hall of fame hope, optimism, or faith, that consciousness can override.
00:46:41.697 -->
00:46:49.478Our genes or our DNA because in order for our DNA and some of the conditioning we have, it has to be, , activated.
00:46:49.768 -->
00:46:54.927And so by directing attention somewhere else or aligning with divinity, you can overcome that.
00:46:55.228 -->
00:46:59.068Where they don't get triggered, they don't get activated, right.
00:46:59.847 -->
00:47:03.297So I know that's a profound thing to say, but that's been my experience.
00:47:03.297 -->
00:47:04.527So for me it's been love.
00:47:04.648 -->
00:47:08.248I meditate on love, what he calls attunement and application.
00:47:08.608 -->
00:47:13.768So the love flows through me and then that's the app to mate connect with the love energy.
00:47:13.827 -->
00:47:16.708Then the application is to go out and be loving.
00:47:16.947 -->
00:47:24.387So while I'm doing it to men, it might be one of my enemies or somebody that is very challenging, comes up and I don't hate on 'em.
00:47:24.387 -->
00:47:27.175I just tolerate them or I send them blessings.
00:47:27.505 -->
00:47:31.405Or pray for them or something like that, but changing my reaction to that.
00:47:31.405 -->
00:47:44.454So, so there has to be this idea that, that we have, and of course in the, in the Buddhist context, they talk about Buddha nature or taking refuge in the fact that we have Buddha nature or Christ consciousness or the divine spark.
00:47:44.454 -->
00:47:48.994So that's where everything I do starts off with the masterpiece within, but it's encrusted in the shell.
00:47:49.014 -->
00:47:52.315How, just like the chrysalis, how do you break out to do it?
00:47:52.315 -->
00:47:53.905So we are wire for success.
00:47:53.905 -->
00:47:57.925We some bad mo fos just saying that's there now.
00:47:57.925 -->
00:48:03.545Or some people would say like, uh, max, uh, malts that wrote, uh, psycho cybernetics.
00:48:04.085 -->
00:48:07.844he talks about, that we have access.
00:48:08.235 -->
00:48:09.815So in other words, want to put it this way?
00:48:10.414 -->
00:48:12.815So let's get back to, you said fake it till you make it.
00:48:12.965 -->
00:48:14.914Now if you fake it, you may not make it.
00:48:14.960 -->
00:48:16.505Now you have imposter syndrome.
00:48:17.224 -->
00:48:21.021But there is a act as if, which is the same thing, but it's very different.
00:48:21.021 -->
00:48:23.630'cause it's, it's acting as if you're already a champion.
00:48:23.630 -->
00:48:26.391So I say you gotta be a champion before you win a championship.
00:48:26.751 -->
00:48:34.115So acting as if is important because when you act as if you actually end up doing what you, you want to do.
00:48:34.827 -->
00:48:43.952So it's very subtle, but it's really powerful acting as if, and, and this idea of faith and a higher power, just knowing that there's a, there's a lawfulness.
00:48:44.012 -->
00:48:46.623And so the second one, faith or higher power.
00:48:47.193 -->
00:48:54.273And this Einstein says one of the most important decisions we make is deciding whether the universe is friendly or unfriendly.
00:48:54.782 -->
00:49:00.543If it's unfriendly, that means we will use all our resources to deny and destroy any threat.
00:49:00.842 -->
00:49:07.936But if we think it's a friendly universe, then we'll align ourselves more like, like Casey talked about, align ourself with the way things are, divinity.
00:49:08.206 -->
00:49:11.835So you don't have to believe in gravity, but if you go up, you will come down.
00:49:12.436 -->
00:49:20.965So you align yourself, with the way things are, use all your resources and your intelligence, to align yourself with how things are.
00:49:22.076 -->
00:49:26.485And the third thing you talked about, you call it what you call overcoming obstacles.
00:49:26.485 -->
00:49:37.766This is a aspect of strong self-efficacy, belief, which has to do with overcoming obstacles as, uh, I think what Nietzche said that was, does not kill me, makes me stronger.
00:49:38.396 -->
00:49:52.300And so that's, that's one of the things that I, that I, I use all of these, the high power, uh, the acting as if and, overcoming obstacles and realizing, but at some point it took years for me to acknowledge that I did that.
00:49:52.329 -->
00:49:59.349Overcoming a substance like heroin and, you know, dealing with chronic pain, that should make you more confident.
00:49:59.349 -->
00:50:01.769But it didn't make me more confident'cause I didn't believe it.
00:50:02.382 -->
00:50:05.452.
00:50:02.382 -->
00:50:05.452.
00:50:05.452 -->
00:50:07.043it was uncomfortable for me.
00:50:07.143 -->
00:50:12.123To acknowledge that, uh, I have master peace within, or I, I'm on a hero's journey.
00:50:12.333 -->
00:50:16.893Some of us, 'cause of our low self concept, we can't consent to it being true.
00:50:16.952 -->
00:50:20.072And if we don't consent to it being true, you don't acknowledge it.
00:50:20.539 -->
00:50:26.570but our job is to keep reminding, you know, reflecting on past successes, stuff like that.
00:50:27.050 -->
00:50:33.500And so overcoming the obstacles if we're present and if we're real about it, we have to let in.
00:50:34.175 -->
00:50:35.614That we achieved that.
00:50:35.644 -->
00:50:41.494But for some of us it, because our self image is like a foreman, it says, yeah, I can believe that.
00:50:41.494 -->
00:50:42.454I can't believe that.
00:50:42.664 -->
00:50:49.581So you have to get overwhelmed and do it so many times for so many years that you start to let it in, start to let in that greatness.
00:50:49.581 -->
00:50:54.411So there's something underneath that is saying yes to some things, no to other things.
00:50:54.411 -->
00:51:03.840And this is what Maxwell Maltz talked about, the self image, this idea of thinking about it and getting rid of the negative emotions and the negativity, getting outta survival mode.
00:51:04.050 -->
00:51:10.204So we're able to be in growth mode and able to see, oh, I don't have to believe this, but this happened and led to that.
00:51:10.536 -->
00:51:19.423So if we keep at it and we have a community of people that are helping us, then we start to realize that we have Christ consciousness, Buddha, nature of the divine spark.
00:51:19.844 -->
00:51:28.903And you can see it and have a direct experience of it by understanding it's not fake till you make it, it's acting as if, but that's, that requires faith.
00:51:29.324 -->
00:51:30.793That faith is the substance of things.
00:51:30.793 -->
00:51:34.003Hoped for the evidence of things unseen or not seen.
00:51:34.483 -->
00:51:38.773And so when you have faith, 'cause belief is holding on, faith is letting go.
00:51:39.224 -->
00:51:42.403So when you have faith, at least to Alan Watts, that's what he said.
00:51:42.833 -->
00:51:45.114When you have faith, you act as if.
00:51:45.701 -->
00:51:56.561So if you pray for something, you act as if you're going, the prayer's gonna be answered, or you make it, you act as if you're going to win something or you're going to achieve something, or you're gonna have a great experience.
00:51:56.561 -->
00:51:58.990And by doing that, we call that outcome expectation.
00:51:58.990 -->
00:52:01.271That's actually a self-fulfilling prophecy.
00:52:01.721 -->
00:52:10.990You're actually telling your nervous system, not only your nervous system, but according to, I think it was the Alchemist when he talked about the universe will collude with you.
00:52:10.990 -->
00:52:13.661And Joseph Campbell said, when you follow your bliss doors will open.
00:52:13.661 -->
00:52:16.690Where there were no doors, there's an alignment.
00:52:16.990 -->
00:52:21.900Of the energy when you really commit to Yeah, I'm about, have a masterpiece.
00:52:21.900 -->
00:52:26.610I'm gonna act as if until I have the direct experience of it and then having a direct experience of it.
00:52:26.981 -->
00:52:27.760then it grows.
00:52:27.760 -->
00:52:37.451And then you start seeing, okay, now you have faith, but now you have conviction because you do it, you have a direct experience of it, and you see, indeed we are what we become what we think about.
00:52:37.780 -->
00:52:38.231As Dr.
00:52:38.231 -->
00:52:40.601Dre said, you get your mind on money, money in your mind.
00:52:40.751 -->
00:52:45.851That's what you manifest and that's what makes us powerful because what we hold in mind, we manifest.
00:52:46.721 -->
00:52:50.081So the challenge is we don't, we hold not good enough.
00:52:50.530 -->
00:52:51.760You know, I can never do what I want.
00:52:51.760 -->
00:52:52.871All of that stuff in mind.
00:52:52.871 -->
00:52:54.010And that's what we become.
00:52:54.726 -->
00:52:57.155So we have to see what are we thinking?
00:52:57.155 -->
00:52:59.012What, what ideas are we entertaining?
00:52:59.192 -->
00:53:02.581What emotions are we, feeding and that sort of thing.
00:53:02.581 -->
00:53:04.862And you start to realize it's all about the mind.
00:53:04.862 -->
00:53:06.362It's all about what you hold in mind.
00:53:06.362 -->
00:53:07.771You become what you think about.
00:53:07.771 -->
00:53:12.271That's the greatest secret that Earl Nightingale talked about in his book, the Strangest Secret.
00:53:12.748 -->
00:53:14.548So we look at all these things.
00:53:14.548 -->
00:53:16.858So my experience is fake it till you make it.
00:53:17.309 -->
00:53:21.103Not fake it till you make it, but act as if, and then you have faith.
00:53:21.175 -->
00:53:24.175and you act as if what you ask for is gonna happen.
00:53:24.985 -->
00:53:27.925If you do that, then that becomes what it is.
00:53:28.585 -->
00:53:36.186And then your belief, when you overcome obstacles, you actually get stronger and you actually see, oh, this does make sense.
00:53:36.186 -->
00:53:39.864And then the more you do it, the more you get strong self efficacy, belief.
00:53:39.864 -->
00:53:45.773And this research on this, when you have strong efficacy, belief, you set more challenging goals.
00:53:45.983 -->
00:53:50.516You stay engaged in the process even though there's nothing telling you it's gonna work.
00:53:50.527 -->
00:53:50.646Hmm.
00:53:51.536 -->
00:53:52.856And so the rich get richer.
00:53:53.181 -->
00:53:57.744And so you get to the point and not, and then you talk about, um, false.
00:53:57.804 -->
00:54:01.164In my book, the Mindful athlete, this is why I talked about the superpowers.
00:54:01.164 -->
00:54:03.963Mindfulness is helpful, but you need um, right effort.
00:54:03.963 -->
00:54:07.653You need right concentration, and you need trust and insight.
00:54:07.923 -->
00:54:14.494So if you have too much insight, you know a lot, but you don't have enough faith, you become cynical If you have.
00:54:14.681 -->
00:54:19.701Too much faith and not enough verification, or insight on it, then you become pollyannaish.
00:54:19.721 -->
00:54:21.041So it's a balancing act.
00:54:21.340 -->
00:54:22.360You need both.
00:54:22.811 -->
00:54:25.451It's not one or the other, but you have to verify it.
00:54:25.960 -->
00:54:32.106You trust, but you verify and you see if you have a direct experience, and this is what the Buddhist said, said don't believe me.
00:54:32.106 -->
00:54:33.036See if it's true.
00:54:33.726 -->
00:54:41.554And that's one of the awakening powers the investigation to see if the teaching is actually, uh, can you have a direct experience of it?
00:54:42.063 -->
00:54:44.523Intuition or direct experience, which is part of wisdom.
00:54:45.063 -->
00:54:52.594You might think of wisdom as information and intellect or using your rational mind and a direct experience or intuition.
00:54:52.804 -->
00:54:54.903Uh, knowing that goes beyond research.
00:54:54.903 -->
00:54:55.833You just know stuff.
00:54:56.463 -->
00:54:57.423So does that make sense?
00:54:57.423 -->
00:55:01.833And so this is amazing and there's so much here that we could do.
00:55:02.329 -->
00:55:04.534To allow ourselves to be who we are.
00:55:04.684 -->
00:55:07.594But it is challenging and it's uncomfortable.
00:55:07.594 -->
00:55:14.403So you have to get comfortable being uncomfortable and you have to be willing to do it, but you have to have a sense of urgency to do it.
00:55:14.463 -->
00:55:16.864Like I call it the AOF method of motivation.
00:55:16.864 -->
00:55:17.583What does that mean?
00:55:17.583 -->
00:55:18.543Ass on fire.
00:55:18.873 -->
00:55:19.759My ass was on fire.
00:55:19.759 -->
00:55:22.023That's the only way I got to this before.
00:55:22.023 -->
00:55:22.324Yeah.
00:55:22.324 -->
00:55:24.664Intellectually I couldn't come there from the intellect.
00:55:24.664 -->
00:55:26.153I had to come there from the pain.
00:55:26.483 -->
00:55:27.384Pain is motivator.
00:55:27.923 -->
00:55:28.673Does that make sense?
00:55:29.483 -->
00:55:32.543And so this is what's available to all of us.
00:55:32.543 -->
00:55:35.856There's nobody that is exempt from this process.
00:55:35.916 -->
00:55:40.896But you have to be honest, you have to have the capacity to say yes to things.
00:55:41.197 -->
00:55:44.317You have to have the capacity to look at how am I hiding out?
00:55:44.527 -->
00:55:45.456How am I.
00:55:45.945 -->
00:55:52.905Staying in survival mode so that I'm not in growth mode and I don't consent to the fact that I can learn anything I need to learn.
00:55:53.565 -->
00:55:58.065That is being myself and being yourself means you gotta go inside and listen to yourself.
00:55:58.065 -->
00:55:59.326No one can do it but you.
00:55:59.896 -->
00:56:00.976No one's in there but you.
00:56:01.581 -->
00:56:01.661Hmm.
00:56:01.815 -->
00:56:04.365And that's what's challenging because you have to find your way.
00:56:04.396 -->
00:56:06.496And Joseph Campbell talks about it in the power of myth.
00:56:06.766 -->
00:56:08.746It can't be someone else's way.
00:56:08.746 -->
00:56:09.675It has to be your way.
00:56:09.885 -->
00:56:16.815So as a teacher, I can make suggestions to you, but you have to figure out how it's gonna work for you or what resonates with you.
00:56:17.025 -->
00:56:25.096I can give you multiple things, and if I know you well enough, then I can talk about, based on what I know, if this might work, or I might just go with my intuition.
00:56:25.126 -->
00:56:28.771That wisdom inside that when I'm quiet, it just knows stuff, right?
00:56:28.831 -->
00:56:30.346And then I just say things.
00:56:30.346 -->
00:56:34.726But my job is to help you unlock and embrace your greatness.
00:56:34.726 -->
00:56:36.195Find the flow, discover success.
00:56:36.195 -->
00:56:37.126That's how you unlock.
00:56:37.126 -->
00:56:39.646But embracing your greatness is pretty damn challenging.
00:56:40.115 -->
00:56:40.606Sure is.
00:56:41.103 -->
00:56:42.063Does that make sense?
00:56:42.483 -->
00:56:45.873So, so these are some amazing questions.
00:56:45.873 -->
00:56:50.193I mean, you gave you, you gave me a lot of reach for the mill there, brother.
00:56:51.483 -->
00:56:53.764I actually, I know that we're running short on time.
00:56:53.764 -->
00:56:53.853I have.
00:56:54.050 -->
00:56:55.251one last question if that's okay.
00:56:55.251 -->
00:57:15.820Is that you talked so much about the importance of self-belief, about the ability for us to choose how we're going to react to a situation and to make sure that we're living authentically and the need and urgency that we need to create for ourselves, as well as the ability to sit still, to understand what is it that we actually want.
00:57:16.240 -->
00:57:29.791And so often we can, wind ourselves up and we can, put ourselves out there, but in, in situations like, like most recently, as, I know that you were hired on to work with the Oilers, in their 2024 Stanley Cup run.
00:57:30.130 -->
00:57:38.650you know, they were down zero to three against Florida and they managed the claw back and make it three to three, but they ultimately lost in that final game.
00:57:38.981 -->
00:57:47.201And I can only imagine that the team, they were inspired, they were optimistic going into that final game, but only to have all their hopes crushed.
00:57:47.530 -->
00:57:51.001And I'm really fascinated to know what did you tell the team?
00:57:51.001 -->
00:58:01.760What do you tell anybody in a situation where they had this high chance of a comeback and they were super optimistic and, then They were just crushed afterwards and, you know, felt that incredible sense of defeat.
00:58:01.971 -->
00:58:11.340how do you come back from, this huge sense of defeat, not only from the perspective of the Oilers, but from anybody who put themselves out there and the universe didn't deliver.
00:58:12.061 -->
00:58:14.670Well, it's interesting how you interpreted that.
00:58:14.670 -->
00:58:15.811That's not the way I see it.
00:58:15.811 -->
00:58:16.771We weren't crushed.
00:58:17.280 -->
00:58:18.121We were inspired.
00:58:18.777 -->
00:58:23.157' cause there's no guarantee you can do everything you want and still lose, but you're not a loser.
00:58:23.534 -->
00:58:25.574You just lost the game.
00:58:25.664 -->
00:58:26.023You know?
00:58:26.023 -->
00:58:28.094It came down to To one.
00:58:28.094 -->
00:58:29.563One the first period.
00:58:29.563 -->
00:58:30.103Really?
00:58:30.764 -->
00:58:31.514The first period.
00:58:31.514 -->
00:58:33.313And you know when they scored the second goal.
00:58:33.583 -->
00:58:35.143But the thing is, we weren't crushed.
00:58:35.143 -->
00:58:36.583But yet, was it painful?
00:58:36.583 -->
00:58:37.063Yes.
00:58:37.063 -->
00:58:37.963Is it devastating?
00:58:37.963 -->
00:58:38.474Yes.
00:58:38.864 -->
00:58:39.974But that's not who we are.
00:58:39.974 -->
00:58:41.083That's just what happened.
00:58:41.527 -->
00:58:43.597And the question is, what do you need to learn?
00:58:43.597 -->
00:58:46.896That same team lost, I think last year.
00:58:47.376 -->
00:58:51.936I think they might've lost in five games of, so they, they didn't even do as well as we did.
00:58:52.027 -->
00:58:55.297But they came back this year and you used that as a stepping stone.
00:58:55.507 -->
00:58:57.637What do you need to learn in practice so you can do it?
00:58:57.936 -->
00:59:02.496So once again, 90% of long-term happiness is predicated on how you interpret things.
00:59:02.496 -->
00:59:05.797If you interpret it being crushed and why do it is you're gonna get crushed.
00:59:06.186 -->
00:59:09.757That's gonna keep you in survival mode and it is not worth it.
00:59:10.027 -->
00:59:12.697But if you're in growth mode, you're looking at, okay, what's the lesson?
00:59:12.697 -->
00:59:17.137What do we need to learn in practice so that when we come back, we'll be able to achieve it.
00:59:17.137 -->
00:59:18.967But even that is no guarantee life.
00:59:18.967 -->
00:59:20.436There's no guarantees in life.
00:59:20.646 -->
00:59:23.197You do everything right and still lose, especially in ice hockey.
00:59:24.456 -->
00:59:36.427That's one of the sports that the best team doesn't always win because if the goalie is, is on fire or you know, you, you hit the puck and it goes off the goalie's ass and goes into the, into the goal, that's the way it is.
00:59:36.726 -->
00:59:38.016But this is life.
00:59:38.016 -->
00:59:41.836There's no guarantee you can do everything right and get hit by car tomorrow.
00:59:42.286 -->
00:59:43.666There's no guarantees.
00:59:43.726 -->
00:59:54.244But to my mind, it is better to, to say yes to life and to go with it and to use it as a stepping stone, not as a roadblock and don't see it that way and see it.
00:59:54.244 -->
00:59:54.454Yeah.
00:59:54.454 -->
01:00:00.153It was painful to get that close and not get it, but this is where resilience is about.
01:00:00.153 -->
01:00:02.630It's like, okay, your job is to do the next thing.
01:00:02.630 -->
01:00:03.471And that's what we did.
01:00:03.471 -->
01:00:04.791We got to a place where.
01:00:05.420 -->
01:00:10.221We were down three 0, there were 10, days left in the game, I mean, in the, in the season.
01:00:10.550 -->
01:00:13.251And we just have to make the next play, win the next game.
01:00:13.251 -->
01:00:15.951It's being in the moment, being yourself, using love.
01:00:16.010 -->
01:00:17.001That's how you get there.
01:00:17.360 -->
01:00:24.007And so we ran outta steam or things didn't happen quite right but we were the first team to force the game.
01:00:24.007 -->
01:00:25.067Seven since 1945.
01:00:25.067 -->
01:00:25.81745.
01:00:26.746 -->
01:00:29.686We started off at, you know, two, nine and one.
01:00:30.221 -->
01:00:34.141So, the resilience, you know, overcoming obstacles, that's it.
01:00:34.141 -->
01:00:37.650So if you look at it like all that was devastating.
01:00:37.650 -->
01:00:38.400We were crushed.
01:00:39.331 -->
01:00:41.137That's not the way I, I, that's not what.
01:00:41.137 -->
01:00:42.186What I'm interested in.
01:00:42.186 -->
01:00:43.387And that's not what we did.
01:00:43.806 -->
01:00:47.746We build on that and say, okay, the city, everybody, there's a whole country of Canada.
01:00:48.047 -->
01:00:59.353They were inspired motivated, like, look what can happen when you just, be in the moment and be yourself and just do the best you can and doesn't guarantee you're going to get anything but being the best you can that's gonna elevate you.
01:00:59.653 -->
01:01:02.204And we kept getting better and we'll continue to get better.
01:01:02.563 -->
01:01:06.614But you don't, you're not your loss, you know, you're not even a hockey player.
01:01:06.614 -->
01:01:07.543That's what you do.
01:01:07.634 -->
01:01:08.534You're more than that.
01:01:09.434 -->
01:01:14.594And it's about how you relate to things to determine who you are and what kind of experience you have.
01:01:14.954 -->
01:01:20.474So how you relate the loss is with dignity and say, okay, best team won today.
01:01:20.503 -->
01:01:21.164Good for them.
01:01:21.543 -->
01:01:28.233And then what do we need to learn and what do we need to practice so that when we come back here, if we come back here, we're lucky enough to get back there.
01:01:28.800 -->
01:01:30.061that we'll be able to do things.
01:01:30.061 -->
01:01:33.451Now when I say luck, luck is when preparation and opportunity meet.
01:01:33.864 -->
01:01:36.623So, uh, just, you can't control the outcome.
01:01:36.864 -->
01:01:37.797That's the whole, lesson.
01:01:38.157 -->
01:01:42.896But you can control your effort and and your attitude towards it.
01:01:43.166 -->
01:01:46.197And so let's use it as a stepping stone, not as a roadblock.
01:01:46.583 -->
01:01:47.333Does that make sense?
01:01:47.393 -->
01:01:48.603And it's always the same.
01:01:48.603 -->
01:01:50.193I don't get involved in the scores.
01:01:50.193 -->
01:01:54.224I get involved in, let's get a little bit better today than we were yesterday.
01:01:54.224 -->
01:01:58.483And my, definition of success is a progressive realization of a worthy ideal.
01:01:58.724 -->
01:02:00.373We made it to the freaking finals.
01:02:00.438 -->
01:02:02.489there's other 30 teams at home.
01:02:02.489 -->
01:02:03.855There's only two teams left standing.
01:02:04.385 -->
01:02:04.465Hmm.
01:02:05.045 -->
01:02:09.409And so even though we don't get the cup, that doesn't take away from what we accomplish
01:02:09.769 -->
01:02:10.130True.
01:02:10.280 -->
01:02:15.710and how, how much inspiration we gave to a country and to a city and to other people.
01:02:16.039 -->
01:02:16.940That was inspiring.
01:02:16.940 -->
01:02:18.889That was an amazing experience to have.
01:02:19.250 -->
01:02:21.349And don't let lose and take it away from you.
01:02:21.880 -->
01:02:22.481That's what we do.
01:02:22.481 -->
01:02:23.021We suck.
01:02:23.021 -->
01:02:23.771all this stuff out.
01:02:23.771 -->
01:02:26.710We look at what was wrong instead of looking at the whole thing.
01:02:27.025 -->
01:02:32.19099.5% 0.5 has been amazing, and now only 5%.
01:02:32.190 -->
01:02:32.940Yeah, okay.
01:02:33.240 -->
01:02:35.070That happened, but it could have gone either way.
01:02:35.070 -->
01:02:36.481Unlucky, it didn't happen.
01:02:36.811 -->
01:02:37.710But you don't quit.
01:02:37.710 -->
01:02:38.581You don't stop.
01:02:39.240 -->
01:02:40.920You use that as a stepping stone
01:02:41.516 -->
01:02:42.036I love that.
01:02:42.036 -->
01:02:51.791I, it doesn't matter what happens to you, it's your perception, how you interpret that is, you know, Viktor Frankl, if you can extract meaning and look at this situation that,
01:02:52.224 -->
01:02:57.677to be suffering, but you have to embrace the devastation of what it feels like to get that close.
01:02:58.217 -->
01:03:00.568You embrace it, but you don't identify with it.
01:03:01.271 -->
01:03:03.791.
01:03:01.271 -->
01:03:04.811You just say, okay, that felt awful, But that's what it is.
01:03:04.811 -->
01:03:14.110And it's gonna happen again in some form or fashion, but it's how you relate to it and grow from it and feel it, and then let it go, and then move to the next thing.
01:03:14.231 -->
01:03:15.851And that's how we were able to come back.
01:03:16.210 -->
01:03:19.721It doesn't matter what happened, make the next play, make the next play, make the next play.
01:03:19.721 -->
01:03:24.101One play at a time, one period at a time, one game at a time, one day at a time.
01:03:24.371 -->
01:03:25.927And then you do that and see how far we, went.
01:03:25.927 -->
01:03:27.387We played 10 more days.
01:03:27.478 -->
01:03:28.978We had 10 more days of the season.
01:03:29.458 -->
01:03:30.777And we played three more games.
01:03:30.867 -->
01:03:39.771And there was a period there, game four or five and six, we dominated eight to one, five to three, five to one dominated.
01:03:40.487 -->
01:03:42.347We didn't just beat'em, we dominated them.
01:03:42.737 -->
01:03:43.878And so we know we can beat 'em.
01:03:43.878 -->
01:03:45.137We just couldn't sustain it.
01:03:45.588 -->
01:03:46.878and that's the next thing.
01:03:46.878 -->
01:03:50.347How do we develop the tenacity to sustain it?
01:03:50.768 -->
01:03:52.387But that wasn't just then.
01:03:52.688 -->
01:03:55.927I mean, we won the first series, you know, four to one.
01:03:56.407 -->
01:04:00.601Then we were in Vancouver, we were down three to two, and we won the next two games.
01:04:00.661 -->
01:04:03.721And then when we played, Dallas was probably the best team outta all of them.
01:04:04.257 -->
01:04:07.556we were down two to nothing and we won.
01:04:07.737 -->
01:04:12.170I think we were also down three to two in that series, I believe, or was it three to two?
01:04:12.170 -->
01:04:13.099Or maybe it was two.
01:04:13.369 -->
01:04:14.150Two to nothing.
01:04:14.480 -->
01:04:16.280But we ended up winning in six games.
01:04:16.340 -->
01:04:18.349the last three games in a row, we won.
01:04:18.655 -->
01:04:20.574I think we lost the first game, won this.
01:04:20.664 -->
01:04:27.371I forget exactly what it was, but I, I do believe we were down two to 0 at one point, and we just came back and we just closed it out.
01:04:27.371 -->
01:04:33.436Maybe we were, you know, two outta three in the last three games, but we just, we just got it done.
01:04:33.527 -->
01:04:33.856Yeah,
01:04:33.927 -->
01:04:35.056there's one game at a time.
01:04:35.056 -->
01:04:36.047Anything's possible.
01:04:36.496 -->
01:04:37.996And so that's the mindset we had.
01:04:37.996 -->
01:04:40.677So we grew in each, series, we got better.
01:04:41.336 -->
01:04:54.474And I think what happened to us in the last series, we had all that time in, and then we, we lost our, our rhythm and we lost our, I would say intensity wise, we were up here, but then we got down and it took us a while to get back up.
01:04:54.789 -->
01:04:56.588Then once we were back up there, we just.
01:04:57.012 -->
01:04:57.911We just coasted.
01:04:58.032 -->
01:05:01.092And so I expect us to, they'd be better next year.
01:05:01.481 -->
01:05:07.894Doesn't mean we'll win, but we have a lot of lessons and like I said, it is one of the things, you know, that can happen.
01:05:07.894 -->
01:05:10.695We had injuries, we had, all of our guys were injured.
01:05:10.755 -->
01:05:13.695Nobody knew that Leon was injured, Connor was injured.
01:05:13.994 -->
01:05:16.188Kane didn't even play the last five games.
01:05:16.632 -->
01:05:21.072And those, you know, any of that changes, it totally is a different experience.
01:05:21.532 -->
01:05:22.282So that's it.
01:05:22.282 -->
01:05:27.802So how you look at it and you could tell the mindset you're in when you look at it like, oh, you've got crushed.
01:05:28.231 -->
01:05:35.719I don't see it that way, but if you see it that way, that telling you how you're seeing things and, your relationship to your consciousness.
01:05:36.213 -->
01:05:43.414So to be a winner or to be somebody to act as if you focus on what works and how to make what work, work even better.
01:05:43.713 -->
01:05:46.713It's not that we deny what happened, but you learn from your mistakes.
01:05:47.134 -->
01:05:55.806And if we would've came, you know, knowing what I know now, we had to do over, we come out in the first period and punch 'em the mouth like we did the previous first games.
01:05:55.835 -->
01:05:57.155'cause they don't like being behind.
01:05:57.155 -->
01:05:58.505Once they get behind they can't do it.
01:05:58.505 -->
01:06:13.900They can give 'em a two one lead, then all they do is clutch and grab and they didn't, call penalties 'cause we was scoring on penalties and somehow the officials, I'm not saying we still should win, but that was, you know, that we had one penalty and the whole game, the way they played really.
01:06:14.481 -->
01:06:15.231You see what I'm saying?
01:06:15.231 -->
01:06:16.431But you can't control that.
01:06:16.431 -->
01:06:19.641You can only control you and not making excuses.
01:06:20.032 -->
01:06:25.112But there were a lot of ways we could have won that game and we just didn't have enough to get it done.
01:06:25.711 -->
01:06:29.389But doesn't mean we can't, we can't come back, there and do it differently.
01:06:29.815 -->
01:06:30.505So that's it.
01:06:30.505 -->
01:06:33.326'cause they, they lost last year and then they came back stronger.
01:06:33.505 -->
01:06:34.496We can do the same thing.
01:06:35.110 -->
01:06:35.380Yeah.
01:06:36.010 -->
01:06:38.246Can't wait to see if, they can win another year.
01:06:38.773 -->
01:06:46.306but George, it's been an absolute pleasure to have you, love this conversation and I know that there's so much more that we haven't been able to cover.
01:06:46.556 -->
01:06:50.684but for those of you who are interested in this conversation, please check out his book.
01:06:50.684 -->
01:06:56.324It's called, it's titled, unlocked, embrace Your Greatness, find Flow, discover Success,
01:06:56.634 -->
01:06:58.313And they can also Go ahead.
01:06:58.313 -->
01:06:58.614Go ahead.
01:06:58.614 -->
01:06:58.704I'm
01:06:58.748 -->
01:06:58.929no.
01:06:58.929 -->
01:06:59.108Yeah.
01:06:59.108 -->
01:07:01.985Is there any, any place that you would like to them to go to?
01:07:02.286 -->
01:07:06.606my website georgemumford.com and I got a YouTube channel.
01:07:07.096 -->
01:07:13.835and there's, I actually have an app on Apple and pretty soon on, Google, you know, the Apple and then the other one is the Android.
01:07:13.835 -->
01:07:22.677I guess But the Apple and on the Apple store, they can get, what we call the Quick Hitters app that I have that's available for people and there's so much more out there.
01:07:22.737 -->
01:07:27.072And then my book The Mindful Athlete: Secrets to Pure Performance that came out nine years ago.
01:07:27.777 -->
01:07:32.967there's all that stuff, but there's so much stuff that you Google me, there's so many things that they can access.
01:07:32.967 -->
01:07:42.092But yeah, I'm very excited about this opportunity to help people unlock and to help people, perform in a proper way to have, you know, access to pure performance.
01:07:43.126 -->
01:07:44.266.
01:07:43.126 -->
01:07:44.266And so that's it.
01:07:44.317 -->
01:07:48.443and you ask some amazing questions and that's what makes the conversation rich.
01:07:48.864 -->
01:07:49.583So thank you
01:07:49.943 -->
01:07:50.498Thank you, George.
01:07:51.121 -->
01:07:52.110and thank your audience.
01:07:52.110 -->
01:07:52.860Appreciate it.
01:07:53.400 -->
01:07:54.481Love and blessings are all.
