WEBVTT
00:00:07.040 --> 00:00:08.560
Mindfully Her here.
00:00:08.640 --> 00:00:15.759
Today on Mindfully Her we'll talk about the mothers who pour into everyone else but forget they also need to be poured into.
00:00:16.079 --> 00:00:21.440
Episode 4 on motherhood and mental health when the caregiver needs care too.
00:00:21.679 --> 00:00:29.039
Motherhood is beautiful, but motherhood is also a responsibility that can sometimes feel overwhelming.
00:00:29.199 --> 00:00:37.759
So mothers are often expected to be everything the planner, the comforter, the teacher, the caregiver, the person who keeps everything together.
00:00:37.920 --> 00:00:42.399
The nurse, the doctor, the veterinarian, the chef, everything you can think of.
00:00:42.560 --> 00:00:43.920
But who checks on mom?
00:00:44.159 --> 00:00:45.840
Who asks how she's really doing?
00:00:46.000 --> 00:00:48.479
There's no shame in admitting that motherhood can be hard.
00:00:48.640 --> 00:00:51.520
There's no shame in moms needing help.
00:00:51.600 --> 00:00:54.240
And there's no shame in saying, I need a moment.
00:00:54.479 --> 00:00:59.280
So let's talk about a few different things that happen surrounding this topic.
00:00:59.439 --> 00:01:00.399
Moms get burnt out.
00:01:00.560 --> 00:01:04.879
Moms get burnt out from every single day, Monday through Friday.
00:01:04.959 --> 00:01:08.319
In carpooling, I'm speaking from personal experience.
00:01:08.480 --> 00:01:10.079
I love carpool lane.
00:01:10.239 --> 00:01:20.799
I love the affirmations in the morning on the way to school and the K-pop demon hunters songs on the way to school, and sometimes the Danny Ghost songs on the way to school.
00:01:21.040 --> 00:01:22.480
Mom burnout is real.
00:01:22.640 --> 00:01:24.400
At Carpool Lane is real.
00:01:24.640 --> 00:01:25.920
Asking for support.
00:01:26.159 --> 00:01:34.719
Mom guilt, another real thing, will send you to the deep end of I have to do it and I have to do it all and I have to get it right and it has to be there and it has to be right.
00:01:34.879 --> 00:01:35.200
Perfect.
00:01:35.359 --> 00:01:38.879
I have to do the cooking, I have to do the cleaning, I have to do the homework, I have to do this, I have to do that.
00:01:39.040 --> 00:01:42.079
Autopilot helicopter moms.
00:01:42.239 --> 00:01:42.879
Have a seat.
00:01:43.040 --> 00:01:44.799
Turn up the volume and pay attention.
00:01:44.959 --> 00:01:49.439
Mindfully, her is here to let you know that we no longer need burnout.
00:01:49.680 --> 00:01:53.920
We no longer need to helicopter over all these things.
00:01:54.079 --> 00:01:55.280
We can ask for help.
00:01:55.359 --> 00:01:56.560
We can ask for breaks.
00:01:56.719 --> 00:01:58.239
We can ask for just a moment.
00:01:58.400 --> 00:01:59.519
We can read a book.
00:01:59.680 --> 00:02:04.959
We can get whatever that is that was in your hair, that's been in your hair for maybe about a day or so.
00:02:05.200 --> 00:02:07.200
We can take a step back.
00:02:07.359 --> 00:02:08.159
It's okay.
00:02:08.400 --> 00:02:09.759
I promise you, it's okay.
00:02:09.919 --> 00:02:12.800
I didn't think it was okay for a very long time, but it is.
00:02:12.960 --> 00:02:14.080
And I'm here to let you know.
00:02:14.159 --> 00:02:18.639
I'm here to hold your hand virtually and let you know that it's okay.
00:02:18.879 --> 00:02:20.800
And your child will be okay.
00:02:20.960 --> 00:02:22.719
They don't want perfect mommy.
00:02:22.800 --> 00:02:23.759
There's no such thing.
00:02:23.919 --> 00:02:30.080
I know, and and I know that we know that there is no such thing as perfect mommy, but we strive for perfection.
00:02:30.240 --> 00:02:32.159
Why I haven't figured that one out yet.
00:02:32.240 --> 00:02:40.639
I'm still researching why we want perfection or why we helicopter mom things or why we want to be super mom.
00:02:40.879 --> 00:02:41.759
I'm not sure.
00:02:42.000 --> 00:02:51.520
But I'm figuring it out, and I'm figuring it out through the answer of not doing it all, not trying to fix, and not being perfect.
00:02:51.680 --> 00:02:54.400
So maybe that is the answer, ladies and gentlemen.
00:02:54.719 --> 00:02:56.560
We are human too.
00:02:56.719 --> 00:03:07.439
We can take a break, we can have mom juice, we can do carpooling Monday, Tuesday, Thursday, Friday, and somebody else can do it on Wednesday because there's a break right there.
00:03:07.599 --> 00:03:08.560
That's the answer.
00:03:08.800 --> 00:03:12.000
It doesn't have to be 24-7.
00:03:12.400 --> 00:03:16.159
You're gonna be mom regardless, but you can take your breaks.
00:03:16.319 --> 00:03:17.199
It's important too.
00:03:17.360 --> 00:03:20.639
Next topic postpartum and mental health awareness.
00:03:20.800 --> 00:03:24.159
A lot of moms end up dealing with postpartum.
00:03:24.639 --> 00:03:40.000
I suffered and handled postpartum, and there's a lot of research done, which we know there's a lot of clinical trials that have been done to discover who it affects, you know, gender statistics, and those things that are involved in clinical trials.
00:03:40.159 --> 00:03:42.560
The best way is experience.
00:03:42.719 --> 00:03:44.400
So I will use myself.
00:03:44.560 --> 00:03:46.479
I did go through postpartum.
00:03:46.560 --> 00:03:52.000
I had read and heard about it before becoming a mom, didn't think that it would happen to me.
00:03:52.240 --> 00:03:55.680
A lot of times we tend to think, okay, that won't happen to me, but you just never know.
00:03:55.840 --> 00:03:56.400
And it did.
00:03:56.479 --> 00:04:00.000
And I suffered with it for a very, very long time.
00:04:00.319 --> 00:04:05.039
Well after breastfeeding, well after my child was one, two, or three.
00:04:05.199 --> 00:04:08.479
Postpartum stuck around for a very long time for me, unfortunately.
00:04:08.639 --> 00:04:13.439
But I got the help that I needed, and that's the point of bringing up this specific topic.
00:04:13.680 --> 00:04:18.000
Postpartum is something that you cannot ignore, you should not ignore.
00:04:18.160 --> 00:04:33.600
If you do not have professional help, I urge you if you are listening and you're hearing me speak about postpartum to phone a friend or someone you trust very well to lead to professional assistance because postpartum will get worse and worse.
00:04:33.839 --> 00:04:39.120
So I definitely put emphasis on getting help when it comes to postpartum.
00:04:39.199 --> 00:04:40.079
It is a real thing.
00:04:40.240 --> 00:04:45.279
The next topic is the importance of identity outside of motherhood.
00:04:45.519 --> 00:04:55.360
We tend to think that the helicopter momming and wanting everything perfect and making sure everything's okay is all we are supposed to do or designed to do.
00:04:55.439 --> 00:04:56.720
And that is not the fact.
00:04:56.879 --> 00:04:59.680
There are other things that should be done.
00:04:59.759 --> 00:05:01.120
And I'll give you an example.
00:05:01.360 --> 00:05:12.959
Before being a mom, you may have been the executive branch officer at the bank, the wife that wasn't a mom yet, the sister, the cousin, the aunt, you're still all those other things.
00:05:13.120 --> 00:05:16.319
It's okay to tap into with balance these other things.
00:05:16.480 --> 00:05:26.319
It's okay to tap into the self-care that you need to make sure that you're giving the best version of yourself to you first and then all other party.
00:05:26.480 --> 00:05:27.199
Let's reflect.
00:05:27.360 --> 00:05:35.120
You're not only what you do for others, and you are still a person with dreams, emotions, needs, and purpose.
00:05:35.279 --> 00:05:41.839
Sometimes we need to be reminded of the dreams of our emotions, of our needs, and what our purpose is.
00:05:42.000 --> 00:05:44.399
Being a mom is a blessing and a priority.
00:05:44.560 --> 00:05:46.879
There is more to you than just those.
00:05:46.959 --> 00:05:49.040
And sometimes we forget, and it's okay.
00:05:49.199 --> 00:05:49.600
It's okay.
00:05:49.839 --> 00:05:51.920
Mindfully, her is here to remind you.
00:05:52.160 --> 00:05:54.879
So, this is where you turn the volume up as high as you can.
00:05:55.040 --> 00:05:57.040
All mothers hear this.
00:05:57.199 --> 00:06:00.480
Your children need you healthy, not perfect.
00:06:00.800 --> 00:06:05.040
Give yourself the same grace you give everyone else.
00:06:05.279 --> 00:06:08.959
Give yourself permission to do, to be, and to feel.
00:06:09.199 --> 00:06:10.639
Lastly, you can do this.
00:06:10.879 --> 00:06:12.000
This is mindfully her.
00:06:12.240 --> 00:06:15.120
Remember that healing begins when we stop hiding.
00:00:07.040 --> 00:00:08.560
Mindfully Her here.
00:00:08.640 --> 00:00:15.759
Today on Mindfully Her we'll talk about the mothers who pour into everyone else but forget they also need to be poured into.
00:00:16.079 --> 00:00:21.440
Episode 4 on motherhood and mental health when the caregiver needs care too.
00:00:21.679 --> 00:00:29.039
Motherhood is beautiful, but motherhood is also a responsibility that can sometimes feel overwhelming.
00:00:29.199 --> 00:00:37.759
So mothers are often expected to be everything the planner, the comforter, the teacher, the caregiver, the person who keeps everything together.
00:00:37.920 --> 00:00:42.399
The nurse, the doctor, the veterinarian, the chef, everything you can think of.
00:00:42.560 --> 00:00:43.920
But who checks on mom?
00:00:44.159 --> 00:00:45.840
Who asks how she's really doing?
00:00:46.000 --> 00:00:48.479
There's no shame in admitting that motherhood can be hard.
00:00:48.640 --> 00:00:51.520
There's no shame in moms needing help.
00:00:51.600 --> 00:00:54.240
And there's no shame in saying, I need a moment.
00:00:54.479 --> 00:00:59.280
So let's talk about a few different things that happen surrounding this topic.
00:00:59.439 --> 00:01:00.399
Moms get burnt out.
00:01:00.560 --> 00:01:04.879
Moms get burnt out from every single day, Monday through Friday.
00:01:04.959 --> 00:01:08.319
In carpooling, I'm speaking from personal experience.
00:01:08.480 --> 00:01:10.079
I love carpool lane.
00:01:10.239 --> 00:01:20.799
I love the affirmations in the morning on the way to school and the K-pop demon hunters songs on the way to school, and sometimes the Danny Ghost songs on the way to school.
00:01:21.040 --> 00:01:22.480
Mom burnout is real.
00:01:22.640 --> 00:01:24.400
At Carpool Lane is real.
00:01:24.640 --> 00:01:25.920
Asking for support.
00:01:26.159 --> 00:01:34.719
Mom guilt, another real thing, will send you to the deep end of I have to do it and I have to do it all and I have to get it right and it has to be there and it has to be right.
00:01:34.879 --> 00:01:35.200
Perfect.
00:01:35.359 --> 00:01:38.879
I have to do the cooking, I have to do the cleaning, I have to do the homework, I have to do this, I have to do that.
00:01:39.040 --> 00:01:42.079
Autopilot helicopter moms.
00:01:42.239 --> 00:01:42.879
Have a seat.
00:01:43.040 --> 00:01:44.799
Turn up the volume and pay attention.
00:01:44.959 --> 00:01:49.439
Mindfully, her is here to let you know that we no longer need burnout.
00:01:49.680 --> 00:01:53.920
We no longer need to helicopter over all these things.
00:01:54.079 --> 00:01:55.280
We can ask for help.
00:01:55.359 --> 00:01:56.560
We can ask for breaks.
00:01:56.719 --> 00:01:58.239
We can ask for just a moment.
00:01:58.400 --> 00:01:59.519
We can read a book.
00:01:59.680 --> 00:02:04.959
We can get whatever that is that was in your hair, that's been in your hair for maybe about a day or so.
00:02:05.200 --> 00:02:07.200
We can take a step back.
00:02:07.359 --> 00:02:08.159
It's okay.
00:02:08.400 --> 00:02:09.759
I promise you, it's okay.
00:02:09.919 --> 00:02:12.800
I didn't think it was okay for a very long time, but it is.
00:02:12.960 --> 00:02:14.080
And I'm here to let you know.
00:02:14.159 --> 00:02:18.639
I'm here to hold your hand virtually and let you know that it's okay.
00:02:18.879 --> 00:02:20.800
And your child will be okay.
00:02:20.960 --> 00:02:22.719
They don't want perfect mommy.
00:02:22.800 --> 00:02:23.759
There's no such thing.
00:02:23.919 --> 00:02:30.080
I know, and and I know that we know that there is no such thing as perfect mommy, but we strive for perfection.
00:02:30.240 --> 00:02:32.159
Why I haven't figured that one out yet.
00:02:32.240 --> 00:02:40.639
I'm still researching why we want perfection or why we helicopter mom things or why we want to be super mom.
00:02:40.879 --> 00:02:41.759
I'm not sure.
00:02:42.000 --> 00:02:51.520
But I'm figuring it out, and I'm figuring it out through the answer of not doing it all, not trying to fix, and not being perfect.
00:02:51.680 --> 00:02:54.400
So maybe that is the answer, ladies and gentlemen.
00:02:54.719 --> 00:02:56.560
We are human too.
00:02:56.719 --> 00:03:07.439
We can take a break, we can have mom juice, we can do carpooling Monday, Tuesday, Thursday, Friday, and somebody else can do it on Wednesday because there's a break right there.
00:03:07.599 --> 00:03:08.560
That's the answer.
00:03:08.800 --> 00:03:12.000
It doesn't have to be 24-7.
00:03:12.400 --> 00:03:16.159
You're gonna be mom regardless, but you can take your breaks.
00:03:16.319 --> 00:03:17.199
It's important too.
00:03:17.360 --> 00:03:20.639
Next topic postpartum and mental health awareness.
00:03:20.800 --> 00:03:24.159
A lot of moms end up dealing with postpartum.
00:03:24.639 --> 00:03:40.000
I suffered and handled postpartum, and there's a lot of research done, which we know there's a lot of clinical trials that have been done to discover who it affects, you know, gender statistics, and those things that are involved in clinical trials.
00:03:40.159 --> 00:03:42.560
The best way is experience.
00:03:42.719 --> 00:03:44.400
So I will use myself.
00:03:44.560 --> 00:03:46.479
I did go through postpartum.
00:03:46.560 --> 00:03:52.000
I had read and heard about it before becoming a mom, didn't think that it would happen to me.
00:03:52.240 --> 00:03:55.680
A lot of times we tend to think, okay, that won't happen to me, but you just never know.
00:03:55.840 --> 00:03:56.400
And it did.
00:03:56.479 --> 00:04:00.000
And I suffered with it for a very, very long time.
00:04:00.319 --> 00:04:05.039
Well after breastfeeding, well after my child was one, two, or three.
00:04:05.199 --> 00:04:08.479
Postpartum stuck around for a very long time for me, unfortunately.
00:04:08.639 --> 00:04:13.439
But I got the help that I needed, and that's the point of bringing up this specific topic.
00:04:13.680 --> 00:04:18.000
Postpartum is something that you cannot ignore, you should not ignore.
00:04:18.160 --> 00:04:33.600
If you do not have professional help, I urge you if you are listening and you're hearing me speak about postpartum to phone a friend or someone you trust very well to lead to professional assistance because postpartum will get worse and worse.
00:04:33.839 --> 00:04:39.120
So I definitely put emphasis on getting help when it comes to postpartum.
00:04:39.199 --> 00:04:40.079
It is a real thing.
00:04:40.240 --> 00:04:45.279
The next topic is the importance of identity outside of motherhood.
00:04:45.519 --> 00:04:55.360
We tend to think that the helicopter momming and wanting everything perfect and making sure everything's okay is all we are supposed to do or designed to do.
00:04:55.439 --> 00:04:56.720
And that is not the fact.
00:04:56.879 --> 00:04:59.680
There are other things that should be done.
00:04:59.759 --> 00:05:01.120
And I'll give you an example.
00:05:01.360 --> 00:05:12.959
Before being a mom, you may have been the executive branch officer at the bank, the wife that wasn't a mom yet, the sister, the cousin, the aunt, you're still all those other things.
00:05:13.120 --> 00:05:16.319
It's okay to tap into with balance these other things.
00:05:16.480 --> 00:05:26.319
It's okay to tap into the self-care that you need to make sure that you're giving the best version of yourself to you first and then all other party.
00:05:26.480 --> 00:05:27.199
Let's reflect.
00:05:27.360 --> 00:05:35.120
You're not only what you do for others, and you are still a person with dreams, emotions, needs, and purpose.
00:05:35.279 --> 00:05:41.839
Sometimes we need to be reminded of the dreams of our emotions, of our needs, and what our purpose is.
00:05:42.000 --> 00:05:44.399
Being a mom is a blessing and a priority.
00:05:44.560 --> 00:05:46.879
There is more to you than just those.
00:05:46.959 --> 00:05:49.040
And sometimes we forget, and it's okay.
00:05:49.199 --> 00:05:49.600
It's okay.
00:05:49.839 --> 00:05:51.920
Mindfully, her is here to remind you.
00:05:52.160 --> 00:05:54.879
So, this is where you turn the volume up as high as you can.
00:05:55.040 --> 00:05:57.040
All mothers hear this.
00:05:57.199 --> 00:06:00.480
Your children need you healthy, not perfect.
00:06:00.800 --> 00:06:05.040
Give yourself the same grace you give everyone else.
00:06:05.279 --> 00:06:08.959
Give yourself permission to do, to be, and to feel.
00:06:09.199 --> 00:06:10.639
Lastly, you can do this.
00:06:10.879 --> 00:06:12.000
This is mindfully her.
00:06:12.240 --> 00:06:15.120
Remember that healing begins when we stop hiding.
