S15 E6 Understanding Yourself - Becoming Your Own Friend

Becoming Your Own Friend – Learning to Speak to Yourself with Kindness

Helping children understand what it means to treat themselves with the same patience, encouragement, honesty, and care they would offer to someone they care about, especially when something goes wrong or they make a mistake.

In this final episode of Mindful Moments with Miss Harrison’s Understanding Yourself series, children bring everything they have learned together by exploring what it means to become their own friend.

Children begin by imagining how they would respond if a good friend tried something difficult and got it wrong. Most wouldn't call their friend useless or tell them they ruin everything. They would probably offer encouragement, reassurance, or help. Yet children discover that the voice we use towards ourselves can sometimes be much harsher than the one we would ever use with someone else.

The episode explains that being your own friend doesn't mean pretending everything is wonderful. A good friend can be honest. They listen when something is wrong, encourage us when things are difficult, help us learn from mistakes, and don't stop caring about us simply because something went wrong.

Through Yusuf’s story, children see the difference between an unkind inner voice and a friendly one. Yusuf has spent a long time carefully making a model for school when it slips from his hands and breaks. Immediately, his thoughts tell him, “You've ruined everything” and “You're so clumsy.” Then his friend Ben arrives. Instead of criticising Yusuf, Ben notices how hard he worked, acknowledges his disappointment, and offers to help repair the model.

Yusuf notices how different Ben's voice sounds from the one inside his own head. He decides to try talking to himself as though he were his own friend: “I'm disappointed because I worked hard on this. It was an accident. I can see if it can be fixed.” The model is still broken, but Yusuf now feels ready to deal with what has happened.

The episode introduces children to three ways of becoming their own friend: listen to yourself, speak with kindness, and help yourself move forwards. Children practise replacing harsh inner statements with a more balanced friendly voice that can be both compassionate and honest.

This final episode brings together the entire Understanding Yourself series: becoming curious about who we are, recognising what we need, identifying our strengths, respecting our limits, accepting the parts of ourselves that are still growing, and learning to offer ourselves friendship along the way.

What children will learn in this episode:

• What it means to become their own friend
• Why we can sometimes speak to ourselves more harshly than we would speak to others
• Why self-kindness doesn't mean pretending mistakes haven't happened
• How to recognise an unkind inner voice
• How to replace harsh self-talk with kinder, more balanced language
• How understanding their needs, strengths, limits, and feelings can help them care for themselves

Emotional Skills from Miss Harrison:

Listen to yourself
A good friend notices when something is wrong. Ask yourself, “How am I feeling?” and “What do I need?”

Speak with kindness
When something goes wrong, ask, “What would I say to a friend in this situation?” Then try offering those same words to yourself.

Be kind and honest
Being your own friend doesn't mean ignoring mistakes. You can say, “That didn't go well. What can I learn?” without attacking yourself.

Help yourself move forwards
Your friendly voice can acknowledge disappointment while also helping you decide what comes next: “This is hard. What do I need?”

These skills help children develop self-compassion, emotional regulation, constructive self-talk, resilience, reflection, and a healthier relationship with mistakes and setbacks.

Mindful Moment Challenge:

Once each day this week, pause and ask yourself:

“If I were my own friend right now, what would I say to myself?”

If you've made a mistake, perhaps your friendly voice might say:

“Everyone makes mistakes. What can I learn?”

If something feels difficult:

“This is hard. What do I need?”

If you're disappointed:

“It's okay to feel disappointed. What can I do next?”

Listen carefully to your answer.

Then practise speaking to yourself with the same patience and care you would offer someone you love.

Perfect for:

• Primary school-aged children developing positive and compassionate self-talk
• Classrooms exploring PSHE, self-esteem, emotional literacy, resilience, and wellbeing
• Families helping children respond constructively to mistakes and disappointment
• Teachers and pastoral leaders supporting children who are highly self-critical
• Children developing self-compassion, emotional regulation, confidence, and resilience

Quote of the Week:

"If you wouldn't say it to a good friend, ask whether you need to say it to yourself."

#MindfulMoments #UnderstandingYourself #BecomingYourOwnFriend #SelfCompassion #PositiveSelfTalk #SelfKindness #EmotionalWellbeing #ChildrensMentalHealth #PrimaryPSHE #SocialEmotionalLearning #EmotionalLiteracy #Resilience #SelfAwareness #WellbeingInSchools

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