WEBVTT
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Hello everyone, and welcome to a brand new series of mindful moments with Miss Harrison.
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I'm Miss Harrison and I'm so happy you're here as we begin our new series.
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Understanding Anger.
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In our last series, we spent time understanding ourselves, what we need, our strengths, our limits, and how we can become our own friend.
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Now we're going to explore an emotion that every single one of us experiences.
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Anger.
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Over the next six episodes, we'll get to know anger, discover what happens in our bodies when it appears, explore what anger might be telling us, learn how to pause before we act, find safe ways to express it, and think about how we can make things right afterwards.
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Today we're starting with getting to know anger.
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By the end of this episode, you'll understand that anger isn't a bad emotion.
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It's a feeling that can give us important information.
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Let's begin.
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Think about the last time you felt angry.
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Perhaps someone took something without asking.
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Maybe something felt unfair.
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Perhaps you tried and tried to do something and it still wasn't working.
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What did anger feel like?
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Maybe your face became hot, your voice became louder, your fist tightened.
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Or perhaps you became very quiet.
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Anger can feel powerful, and because anger can sometimes lead us to shout, say hurtful things, or act without thinking, we might decide.
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Anger is bad, but anger itself isn't bad.
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Anger is an emotion.
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Just like happiness, sadness, worry, or excitement.
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The feeling is okay.
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What matters is what we choose to do when it arrives.
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Let's hear about someone who began to understand that.
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Leo had spent all of playtime building an enormous tower from wooden blocks.
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It had four levels, two bridges and a little doorway at the bottom.
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Leo was incredibly proud of it.
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Then another child hurried past and accidentally knocked it over.
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Crash.
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Leo froze.
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His face became hot.
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His heart thumped.
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You ruined it, he shouted.
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He wanted to kick the blocks across the floor, but his teacher came over.
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You look really angry, she said.
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I am angry, Leo replied.
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I worked on it for ages.
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His teacher nodded.
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That makes sense.
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Something you cared about was damaged.
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Leo stopped.
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His teacher wasn't telling him not to be angry.
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She understood why he was angry.
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But she continued, your anger is a feeling.
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It doesn't get to decide what your feet or your words do next.
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Leo looked at the blocks.
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He was still angry.
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But instead of kicking them, he took a breath.
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I need a minute, he said.
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Later, Leo explained why he had been upset, and the other child helped him rebuild.
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Leo's anger hadn't been wrong.
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It had told him something I cared about has happened.
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What do you think Leo learned about anger?
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Just like Leo, we can learn to become curious about anger.
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Here are three things to remember.
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One, anger is normal.
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Everyone feels angry sometimes.
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Feeling anger doesn't make you unkind or bad.
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It makes you human.
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Two.
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Anger often has a reason.
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Anger might appear when something feels unfair, when we're frustrated, when somebody crosses a boundary, or sometimes when we're hurt, worried, or embarrassed underneath.
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We can ask, Why might my anger be here?
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three.
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Feelings and actions are different.
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We don't always choose our feelings.
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But we can learn to choose what we do with them.
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It's okay to feel angry.
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It's not okay to hurt someone because we're angry.
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Let's get curious about your anger.
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Think about a time you felt angry.
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You don't need to choose your biggest angry moment, just an ordinary one.
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What happened?
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Now ask.
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What was my anger about?
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Maybe something felt unfair.
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Perhaps you were disappointed or frustrated.
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Now imagine saying Hello anger I notice you're here.
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Take one slow breath.
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You don't have to push anger away.
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For now we're simply learning to notice it.
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You've done such thoughtful work today getting to know anger.
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Let's remember anger is a normal emotion.
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It can give us useful information about something that matters to us.
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And feeling angry is different from choosing an angry action.
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Here's your mindful moment challenge for the week.
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If you notice anger appearing, pause and say I'm feeling angry.
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Then if you can ask I wonder why my anger is here.
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You don't have to solve it yet, just notice.
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Next time on Mindful Moments with Miss Harrison, we'll explore what happens when I get angry and discover some of the clues our bodies give us when anger starts to grow.
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Thank you for joining me today.
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Keep noticing, keep being curious about your feelings, and as always, keep shining bright.
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Last time we started getting to know anger.
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We discovered that anger isn't a bad emotion.
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It's a normal feeling that can give us useful information when something feels wrong, unfair, or frustrating.
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Did you try your mindful moment challenge this week?
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Perhaps you noticed anger arriving and asked yourself, I wonder why my anger is here.
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Today we're going to become anger detectives and explore what happens when I get angry.
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By the end of this episode, you'll know some of the clues your body can give you when anger is beginning to grow, and why noticing those clues early can be really helpful.
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Let's begin.
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Anger might begin with something that happens around us, but we often feel it in our bodies.
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Think about a time when you were angry.
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Did your heart beat faster?
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Did your face feel hot?
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Maybe your fists tightened.
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Perhaps your shoulders became tense.
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Your breathing might have become quicker.
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Some people feel anger bubbling in their tummy.
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Others notice their jaw tightening or their voice getting louder.
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And not everybody experiences anger in exactly the same way.
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These body signals are important because they can act like an early warning system.
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They tell us anger is arriving.
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And if we can notice anger arriving, we have more time to decide what to do next.
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Let's hear about someone who learned to spot his signals.
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Isaac loved playing football at lunchtime.
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One day he was running towards the goal when another player bumped into him.
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Isaac fell.
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No foul, called his friend.
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Isaac stood up quickly.
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He could feel his face getting hot.
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Then his hands tightened.
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His heart began thumping.
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That was a foul, he shouted.
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His voice became louder.
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He was just about to grab the ball when he remembered something his teacher had shown the class.
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An anger thermometer.
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At the bottom was calm.
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In the middle were the first signs of anger, and at the top was boiling.
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Isaac stopped.
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Hot face, tight fists, thumping heart.
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My thermometer is going up, he thought.
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Instead of continuing the argument, Isaac stepped away from the game.
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He took a few slow breaths and got a drink of water.
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His anger didn't disappear immediately, but slowly his hands loosened, his breathing settled, and when Isaac returned he was able to explain what had upset him without shouting.
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For the first time Isaac realized his body had been warning him before his anger reached boiling point.
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What do you think Isaac learned about his anger?
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Just like Isaac, we can learn to notice what anger feels like in our own bodies.
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Here are three things to remember.
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One, notice your body.
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Ask what's happening inside me?
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Perhaps your heart is racing.
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Your muscles feel tight.
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Your face feels hot.
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Those are clues.
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two notice your actions.
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Maybe you start pacing, speaking loudly, crossing your arms, or becoming very quiet.
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These can also be anger signals.
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Three Catch anger early.
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The earlier we notice anger, the easier it can be to make a thoughtful choice.
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We don't have to wait until our anger reaches boiling point.
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We can notice it while the temperature is still rising.
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Let's imagine your own anger thermometer.
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At the bottom is calm.
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How does your body feel when you're calm?
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Now imagine the temperature rising.
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You're becoming annoyed.
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What might you notice?
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Now the thermometer rises higher.
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You're really angry.
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What happens to your face?
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Your hands?
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Your heart?
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Your voice?
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Now take one slow breath.
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Imagine the thermometer beginning to move down again.
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Knowing your signals means you can notice.
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My anger is rising.
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I need to pay attention.
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You've done such thoughtful work today exploring what happens when you get angry.
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Let's remember.
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Anger often creates changes in our bodies.
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Everyone's anger signals can be a little different.
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And noticing those signals early gives us more time to choose what happens next.
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Here's your mindful moment challenge for the week.
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If you feel annoyed or angry, notice one clue in your body.
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Perhaps it's a hot face, tight hands, a faster heartbeat, or something completely different.
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Simply notice it and think.
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My anger thermometer is rising.
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Next time on Mindful Moments with Miss Harrison, we'll explore what is my anger telling me, and discover what might be hiding underneath or behind our angry feelings.
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Thank you for joining me today.
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Keep noticing your signals, keep listening to your body, and as always, keep shining bright.
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I'm Miss Harrison, and I'm so happy you're here for another episode in our Understanding Anger series.
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Last time we became anger detectives and explored what happens when I get angry.
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We learn that our bodies can give us clues, like a hot face, tight fists, a faster heartbeat, or a louder voice when our anger thermometer starts to rise.
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Did you try your mindful moment challenge this week?
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Perhaps you noticed one of your own anger signals and thought my anger thermometer is rising.
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Today we're going to look a little deeper and ask.
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Above the water we can see the top, but underneath there's much more that we can't see.
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Anger can sometimes be like that.
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Anger is the part we notice on top, but underneath there might be another feeling.
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Maybe we feel hurt, embarrassed, left out, worried, disappointed, or perhaps something has happened that feels unfair.
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This doesn't mean anger is hiding another feeling every single time.
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Sometimes we're simply angry.
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But asking what might be underneath my anger can help us understand ourselves better.
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Let's hear about someone who discovered what her anger was trying to tell her.
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Layla walked into school and heard her friends talking excitedly.
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I can't wait for Saturday, said Mia.
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Me neither, replied Grace.
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Layla stopped.
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They were talking about a birthday party.
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A party Layla hadn't been invited to.
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Her tummy dropped, but almost immediately another feeling arrived.
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Anger.
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I don't care about your stupid party anyway, Layla snapped.
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She pushed her chair under the table loudly and walked away.
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At lunchtime, Layla's teacher found her sitting quietly.
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You seemed very angry this morning, she said.
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I am angry, Layla replied.
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Her teacher nodded.
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Can we look underneath the anger for a moment?
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Layla frowned.
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If your anger could talk, what might it say?
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Layla was quiet.
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Then she whispered It might say I feel left out.
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Her teacher waited.
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And I thought Mia was my friend.
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Suddenly, Layla realized she wasn't only angry, she was hurt, knowing that didn't make the feeling disappear.
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But now Layla understood what she needed.
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Instead of another argument, she needed someone to listen.
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Later, when she felt ready, Layla was able to talk calmly about how she'd felt.
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What do you think Leila discovered underneath her anger?
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Just like Layla, we can become curious about what our anger might be telling us.
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Here are three questions that can help.
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One What happened?
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Think about what happened just before the anger appeared.
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Did something feel unfair?
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Did somebody say or do something?
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Did something not go the way you hoped?
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two What else am I feeling?
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Ask.
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Is there another feeling here too?
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Perhaps you're disappointed embarrassed, worried, jealous, lonely or hurt.
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We can feel more than one emotion at the same time.
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Three.
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What might I need?
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Perhaps you need to explain how you feel.
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Maybe you need some space, an apology, reassurance, help or simply somebody to listen.
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Understanding what anger is telling us can help us choose what to do next.
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Let's imagine your own anger iceberg.
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Picture the word anger above the water.
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Now think of a time you felt angry.
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What happened?
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Now look underneath the water.
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Was there another feeling there too?
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Hurt disappointment?
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Worry embarrassment something else?
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Now ask.
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What did I need in that moment?
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You don't have to find a perfect answer.
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We're simply practicing looking underneath.
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You've done such thoughtful work today exploring what anger might be telling you.
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Let's remember anger can sometimes be the feeling we see on the surface.
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Other feelings may be underneath it.
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And understanding those feelings can help us recognise what we need.
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Here's your mindful moment challenge for the week.
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If you notice anger this week, wait until you feel calm enough and ask, What happened?
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What else might I be feeling?
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What might I need?
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Next time on Mindful Moments with Miss Harrison, we'll explore the pause before we act and discover how even a tiny space between feeling angry and doing something can make a big difference.
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Thank you for joining me today.
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Keep looking beneath the surface.
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Keep being curious about your feelings.
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And as always, keep shining bright.
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I'm Miss Harrison and I'm so happy you're here for another episode in our Understanding Anger series.
00:21:41.829 --> 00:21:46.789
Last time we explored what is my anger telling me.
00:21:47.269 --> 00:21:59.109
We discovered that anger can sometimes be like the top of an iceberg, with other feelings like hurt, disappointment, worry, or embarrassment underneath.
00:21:59.990 --> 00:22:03.670
Did you try your mindful moment challenge this week?
00:22:04.150 --> 00:22:09.430
Perhaps once you were calm, you asked yourself, what else might I be feeling?
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Today we're exploring one of the most useful skills we can learn when anger arrives.
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The pause before we act.
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By the end of this episode, you'll understand how creating even a tiny space between feeling angry and acting on that feeling can help you make a better choice.
00:22:31.109 --> 00:22:32.390
Let's begin.
00:22:33.269 --> 00:22:35.509
Have you ever done something when you were angry?
00:22:36.230 --> 00:22:37.990
And wished you could take it back?
00:22:38.950 --> 00:22:48.150
Maybe you shouted, slammed a door, threw something, or said words you didn't really mean.
00:22:48.470 --> 00:22:51.349
Anger can make us want to act quickly.
00:22:51.670 --> 00:22:55.109
Our body says, Do something now.
00:22:55.910 --> 00:22:58.630
But remember what we've already learned.
00:22:58.950 --> 00:23:01.029
Feeling angry is okay.
00:23:01.269 --> 00:23:03.910
The action we choose is something different.
00:23:04.150 --> 00:23:06.470
That's where the pause comes in.
00:23:07.349 --> 00:23:13.109
A pause gives our thinking brain a little time to catch up with our angry feeling.
00:23:13.349 --> 00:23:15.109
It doesn't have to be long.
00:23:15.509 --> 00:23:24.309
Sometimes just a few seconds can help us move from react to what do I want to do next?
00:23:25.349 --> 00:23:29.990
Let's hear about someone who discovered the power of that tiny pause.
00:23:30.390 --> 00:23:33.829
Ben had been working on a painting all afternoon.
00:23:34.069 --> 00:23:38.470
He had mixed the colours carefully and was almost finished.
00:23:38.789 --> 00:23:41.829
Then his friend Amira reached across the table.
00:23:42.150 --> 00:23:45.029
Her arm caught Ben's pot of water.
00:23:45.829 --> 00:23:47.109
Splash.
00:23:47.430 --> 00:23:49.670
Water spread across the paper.
00:23:49.990 --> 00:23:52.950
Ben jumped up, his face felt hot.
00:23:53.509 --> 00:23:55.269
His fists tightened.
00:23:55.589 --> 00:23:59.109
He was about to shout Look what you've done.
00:23:59.430 --> 00:24:01.990
But then he stopped.
00:24:02.309 --> 00:24:11.430
Ben remembered his anger thermometer, hot face, tight hands, fast heartbeat.
00:24:11.829 --> 00:24:19.589
His anger was rising, so Ben took one step back, he breathed in and slowly out.
00:24:20.630 --> 00:24:22.869
Amira looked horrified.
00:24:23.430 --> 00:24:25.109
I'm really sorry, Ben.
00:24:25.430 --> 00:24:26.789
It was an accident.
00:24:27.910 --> 00:24:29.829
Ben was still angry.
00:24:30.309 --> 00:24:35.190
The pause hadn't magically changed that, but now he could think.
00:24:36.069 --> 00:24:39.190
I worked really hard on that, he said.
00:24:40.069 --> 00:24:41.910
I'm really upset.
00:24:42.710 --> 00:24:44.470
I know, said Amira.
00:24:44.869 --> 00:24:46.869
Can I help you fix it?
00:24:48.789 --> 00:24:53.349
Together they carefully lifted the wet paper and found another sheet.
00:24:53.670 --> 00:24:55.990
Ben was still disappointed.
00:24:56.470 --> 00:24:58.630
But he was also proud.
00:24:59.349 --> 00:25:04.069
He had felt his anger and chosen what happened next.
00:25:04.710 --> 00:25:08.950
What do you think Ben learned about pausing before acting?
00:25:09.509 --> 00:25:14.069
Just like Ben, we can practice creating a pause when anger appears.
00:25:14.470 --> 00:25:18.309
Here are three simple steps one stop.
00:25:19.109 --> 00:25:23.910
When you notice your anger signals, don't immediately act.
00:25:24.869 --> 00:25:28.069
If you can, stop your body for a moment.
00:25:29.269 --> 00:25:31.349
Two breathe.
00:25:31.670 --> 00:25:37.109
Take one slow breath in and out.
00:25:38.710 --> 00:25:41.589
You aren't trying to make the anger disappear.
00:25:41.910 --> 00:25:43.750
You're giving yourself time.
00:25:44.549 --> 00:25:48.069
Three choose ask.
00:25:48.630 --> 00:25:50.869
What do I want to do next?
00:25:51.430 --> 00:25:53.430
Maybe you need to step away.
00:25:53.750 --> 00:25:58.630
Use calm words ask for help or tell someone.
00:25:59.349 --> 00:26:02.309
I'm too angry to talk about this yet.
00:26:02.710 --> 00:26:05.029
The pause gives you choices.
00:26:05.829 --> 00:26:08.069
Let's practice together.
00:26:08.710 --> 00:26:12.470
Imagine someone has just done something that makes you angry.
00:26:12.869 --> 00:26:15.029
You feel your anger rising.
00:26:15.430 --> 00:26:16.069
Ready?
00:26:17.029 --> 00:26:17.910
Stop.
00:26:18.710 --> 00:26:23.269
Now breathe in one and breathe out.
00:26:23.990 --> 00:26:24.630
Two.
00:26:25.509 --> 00:26:28.789
Ask yourself What do I choose?
00:26:29.910 --> 00:26:30.549
Three.
00:26:31.349 --> 00:26:34.150
Perhaps you choose to speak calmly.
00:26:34.710 --> 00:26:38.470
Perhaps you step away, perhaps you find an adult.
00:26:38.789 --> 00:26:46.549
Three seconds won't solve every problem, but those three seconds can sometimes stop anger from choosing for you.
00:26:47.029 --> 00:26:52.309
You've done such important work today learning about the pause before we act.
00:26:52.630 --> 00:26:57.990
Let's remember anger can make us want to react quickly.
00:26:58.309 --> 00:27:06.950
A pause gives our thinking brain time to catch up, and we can feel angry while still choosing a safe and thoughtful action.
00:27:07.750 --> 00:27:10.950
Here's your mindful moment challenge for the week.
00:27:11.349 --> 00:27:15.509
If you notice your anger thermometer rising, practice.
00:27:16.230 --> 00:27:17.190
Stop.
00:27:17.750 --> 00:27:18.869
Breathe.
00:27:19.430 --> 00:27:20.549
Choose.
00:27:21.109 --> 00:27:25.670
Even if you remember after the moment has passed, that's okay.
00:27:26.230 --> 00:27:28.869
Noticing is part of learning.
00:27:29.589 --> 00:27:45.509
Next time on Mindful Moments with Miss Harrison, we'll explore expressing anger safely, because anger needs somewhere to go, and there are ways to express it without hurting ourselves, other people, or the things around us.
00:27:45.910 --> 00:27:47.990
Thank you for joining me today.
00:27:48.309 --> 00:28:13.750
Keep pausing, keep choosing, and as always, keep shining brightness.
00:28:18.230 --> 00:28:25.190
I'm Miss Harrison, and I'm so happy you're here for another episode in our Understanding Anger series.
00:28:25.829 --> 00:28:29.509
Last time we explored the pause before we act.
00:28:29.750 --> 00:28:37.829
We learned that when anger makes us want to react quickly, we can create a little space by remembering three simple words.
00:28:43.109 --> 00:28:46.230
Did you try your mindful moment challenge this week?
00:28:46.470 --> 00:28:55.109
Perhaps you noticed your anger thermometer rising and managed to pause even for just a moment before deciding what to do next.
00:28:55.670 --> 00:28:59.829
Today we're going to explore expressing anger safely.
00:29:00.230 --> 00:29:05.670
Because anger is a real feeling and sometimes it feels powerful.
00:29:05.990 --> 00:29:09.430
We don't need to hide it or pretend it isn't there.
00:29:10.230 --> 00:29:18.869
Instead, we can learn ways to show and express our anger without hurting ourselves, other people or the things around us.
00:29:19.269 --> 00:29:20.549
Let's begin.
00:29:20.950 --> 00:29:23.910
Imagine shaking a bottle of fizzy drink.
00:29:24.630 --> 00:29:27.829
Shake, shake, shake.
00:29:28.470 --> 00:29:38.309
If you keep all that fizz trapped inside and suddenly open the lid, whoosh anger can sometimes feel a little like that.
00:29:38.710 --> 00:29:43.589
If we pretend we're not angry, the feeling might keep bubbling inside.
00:29:44.069 --> 00:29:48.950
But letting anger explode isn't the answer either.
00:29:49.269 --> 00:29:55.190
Expressing anger safely means finding a way to say I'm angry.
00:29:55.589 --> 00:29:57.269
This has upset me.
00:29:57.670 --> 00:29:59.269
I need some space.
00:29:59.910 --> 00:30:06.630
Without hurting anyone, we can let people know how we feel and stay in control of what we do.
00:30:07.190 --> 00:30:14.549
Let's hear about someone who learned how Maya had made a bracelet using her favourite beads.
00:30:14.789 --> 00:30:18.549
She left it on her desk while she went downstairs.
00:30:19.269 --> 00:30:23.589
When she came back her younger sister Evie was wearing it.
00:30:24.069 --> 00:30:26.950
That's mine Maya shouted.
00:30:27.190 --> 00:30:29.589
She could feel her face getting hot.
00:30:30.309 --> 00:30:34.069
She wanted to grab the bracelet straight from Evie's wrist.
00:30:34.309 --> 00:30:39.029
Then Maya remembered stop breathe.
00:30:39.829 --> 00:30:40.789
Choose.
00:30:41.589 --> 00:30:45.910
She stopped, took a breath, and stepped away.
00:30:47.029 --> 00:30:49.190
I need a minute, she said.
00:30:49.910 --> 00:30:56.150
Maya went into the hallway and squeezed her hands tightly, then relaxed them.
00:30:56.789 --> 00:30:59.190
She took another slow breath.
00:30:59.750 --> 00:31:02.549
When she returned she was still angry.
00:31:03.589 --> 00:31:05.509
But now she could speak.
00:31:06.309 --> 00:31:12.309
I feel really angry because you took my bracelet without asking, Maya said.
00:31:12.549 --> 00:31:15.349
Please give it back and ask me next time.
00:31:16.549 --> 00:31:17.990
Evie looked down.
00:31:18.789 --> 00:31:22.069
Sorry, I just really liked it.
00:31:22.470 --> 00:31:24.630
She handed the bracelet back.
00:31:25.269 --> 00:31:33.750
Maya's anger hadn't vanished, but she had expressed it without grabbing, shouting again, or hurting her sister.
00:31:34.309 --> 00:31:37.750
What do you think Maya learned about expressing anger?
00:31:38.309 --> 00:31:43.269
Just like Maya we can find safe ways to express angry feelings.
00:31:43.750 --> 00:31:45.910
Here are three things to remember.
00:31:46.390 --> 00:31:48.710
One, use words.
00:31:49.029 --> 00:31:55.910
Try saying I'm angry because I didn't like what happened.
00:31:56.309 --> 00:31:58.069
I need some space.
00:31:58.630 --> 00:32:02.309
Clear words help other people understand what's wrong.
00:32:02.630 --> 00:32:05.990
Two, help your body release the energy.
00:32:06.309 --> 00:32:09.509
Anger can bring lots of energy into our bodies.
00:32:09.829 --> 00:32:19.109
You might walk, stretch, shake out your hands, squeeze and release your muscles, or take some slow breaths.
00:32:19.430 --> 00:32:23.589
Choose something that is safe for you and everyone around you.
00:32:24.549 --> 00:32:25.190
3.
00:32:25.990 --> 00:32:27.190
Get support.
00:32:27.990 --> 00:32:31.349
Sometimes anger feels too big to manage alone.
00:32:31.589 --> 00:32:37.430
Find a trusted adult and say, I'm really angry and I need some help.
00:32:38.390 --> 00:32:41.109
Asking for support is always okay.
00:32:41.509 --> 00:32:44.710
Let's create your own safe anger menu.
00:32:45.190 --> 00:32:47.990
Imagine three choices on your menu.
00:32:48.309 --> 00:32:55.269
First, something I can say when I'm angry is maybe I need a minute.
00:32:55.750 --> 00:33:03.349
Now, something safe I can do with my body is perhaps walk, stretch or breathe.
00:33:03.589 --> 00:33:12.150
And finally, someone I can talk to is now you have three choices ready for the next time anger appears.
00:33:13.109 --> 00:33:15.910
Say, do talk.
00:33:16.789 --> 00:33:21.990
You've done such important work today learning about expressing anger safely.
00:33:22.390 --> 00:33:26.630
Let's remember we don't need to hide anger.
00:33:27.029 --> 00:33:30.230
We don't need to let it explode either.
00:33:30.549 --> 00:33:35.990
We can use words, safe actions, and support to express what we're feeling.
00:33:36.309 --> 00:33:39.269
Here's your mindful moment challenge for the week.
00:33:40.390 --> 00:33:44.789
Choose one thing from your safe anger menu and remember it.
00:33:45.269 --> 00:33:49.589
If anger appears, try using that safe choice.
00:33:50.390 --> 00:33:57.990
Next time on Mindful Moments with Miss Harrison, we'll finish our understanding anger series with making things right.
00:33:58.470 --> 00:34:05.589
Because sometimes, even when we're learning to manage anger, we might still say or do something we regret.
00:34:05.829 --> 00:34:08.789
We'll discover what we can do afterwards.
00:34:09.269 --> 00:34:11.269
Thank you for joining me today.
00:34:11.590 --> 00:34:19.590
Keep expressing your feelings, keep making safe choices, and as always, keep shining bright.
00:34:43.190 --> 00:34:50.630
I'm Miss Harrison, and I'm so happy you're here for the final episode in our Understanding Anger series.
00:34:51.349 --> 00:34:55.670
Over the past few episodes, we've really got to know anger.
00:34:55.909 --> 00:35:08.469
We've learned how it can feel in our bodies, explored what might be underneath it, practiced pausing before we act, and discovered safe ways to express angry feelings.
00:35:09.269 --> 00:35:12.309
Did you try your mindful moment challenge this week?
00:35:12.550 --> 00:35:20.630
Perhaps you remembered something from your safe anger menu and used words, movement or support when anger appeared.
00:35:20.869 --> 00:35:23.030
But we're all still learning.
00:35:23.429 --> 00:35:26.469
Sometimes anger gets the better of us.
00:35:27.030 --> 00:35:32.469
We might shout, say something hurtful, or do something we wish we hadn't.
00:35:32.949 --> 00:35:36.389
So today we're exploring what happens next.
00:35:36.949 --> 00:35:38.550
Making things right.
00:35:39.670 --> 00:35:47.190
By the end of this episode, you'll understand that making a mistake when you're angry doesn't have to be the end of the story.
00:35:47.510 --> 00:35:52.869
We can take responsibility, repair what we can, and learn for next time.
00:35:53.510 --> 00:35:54.630
Let's begin.
00:35:54.869 --> 00:36:02.230
Have you ever calmed down after being angry and thought, oh, I wish I hadn't done that.
00:36:02.949 --> 00:36:10.789
Maybe you shouted at someone, said something unkind, snatched something, or blamed somebody.
00:36:11.110 --> 00:36:15.110
We can't rewind time and make an action disappear.
00:36:15.349 --> 00:36:18.150
But we can decide what happens afterwards.
00:36:18.469 --> 00:36:22.710
Making things right begins with being honest about what we did.
00:36:23.269 --> 00:36:27.590
It means taking responsibility without making excuses.
00:36:28.469 --> 00:36:31.510
Then we can think about how to repair the situation.
00:36:31.750 --> 00:36:39.429
An apology can be part of that, but sometimes making things right means doing something too.
00:36:39.909 --> 00:36:43.030
Let's hear about someone who discovered the difference.
00:36:43.510 --> 00:36:46.869
Ayan and his friend Leo were drawing together.
00:36:47.190 --> 00:36:51.750
Leo accidentally knocked Ayan's pencils onto the floor.
00:36:52.070 --> 00:36:55.190
Ayan was already feeling frustrated.
00:36:55.909 --> 00:36:58.869
Why do you always ruin everything?
00:36:59.190 --> 00:37:00.389
he shouted.
00:37:01.269 --> 00:37:05.750
Then in anger he grabbed the picture Leo had been drawing.
00:37:06.070 --> 00:37:09.269
Rip the corner tore.
00:37:10.150 --> 00:37:12.630
Leo stared at his picture.
00:37:12.949 --> 00:37:15.269
Then he quietly walked away.
00:37:16.070 --> 00:37:20.630
A few minutes later, Ayan's anger began to settle.
00:37:21.190 --> 00:37:23.190
He looked at the torn paper.
00:37:23.429 --> 00:37:25.429
His tummy felt heavy.
00:37:25.750 --> 00:37:28.070
Ayan found his teacher.
00:37:28.550 --> 00:37:31.989
I did something when I was angry, he admitted.
00:37:32.230 --> 00:37:34.949
Together they talked about what had happened.
00:37:35.269 --> 00:37:43.590
Ayan realized that although Leo had knocked over the pencils by accident, tearing the picture had been his choice.
00:37:44.150 --> 00:37:45.670
He found Leo.
00:37:46.469 --> 00:37:49.829
I'm sorry I tore your picture, Ayan said.
00:37:50.150 --> 00:37:53.030
I was angry, but I shouldn't have done that.
00:37:53.670 --> 00:37:55.590
Leo was still upset.
00:37:55.909 --> 00:37:59.989
Ayan wanted everything to feel better immediately.
00:38:00.389 --> 00:38:07.110
But his teacher had explained that saying sorry doesn't mean somebody has to stop feeling hurt straight away.
00:38:07.670 --> 00:38:11.510
So Ayan asked, Can I help fix it?
00:38:11.989 --> 00:38:15.510
Together they carefully taped the torn corner.
00:38:16.309 --> 00:38:19.269
Ayan couldn't undo what he had done.
00:38:20.150 --> 00:38:27.750
But he could take responsibility, try to repair the damage, and think about what he would do differently next time.
00:38:28.389 --> 00:38:32.070
What do you think Ayan learned about making things right?
00:38:32.389 --> 00:38:37.670
Just like Ayan, we can make things right after anger leads to a poor choice.
00:38:38.070 --> 00:38:39.829
Here are three steps.
00:38:40.309 --> 00:38:42.550
One, recognize.
00:38:42.869 --> 00:38:44.949
Be honest about what happened.
00:38:45.269 --> 00:38:49.989
Try saying I did that and it wasn't okay.
00:38:50.469 --> 00:38:57.349
Being angry can explain why we acted, but it doesn't make an unsafe or hurtful action okay.
00:38:58.070 --> 00:38:59.989
two repair.
00:39:00.230 --> 00:39:03.670
Ask what can I do to make this better?
00:39:04.150 --> 00:39:12.630
Perhaps you need to apologize, fix something, replace something, or give somebody time and space.
00:39:13.269 --> 00:39:16.949
A real apology is more than saying the word sorry.
00:39:17.670 --> 00:39:22.150
It's showing that we understand our actions affected someone else.
00:39:22.630 --> 00:39:27.909
Three, learn, ask, what could I do differently next time?
00:39:29.030 --> 00:39:32.550
Maybe you'll notice your anger signals earlier.
00:39:32.949 --> 00:39:39.909
Use stop, breathe, choose, step away or ask an adult for help.
00:39:40.230 --> 00:39:42.710
Every mistake can teach us something.
00:39:42.949 --> 00:39:45.030
Let's imagine a little bridge.
00:39:45.349 --> 00:39:48.550
On one side is what happened?
00:39:48.949 --> 00:39:53.590
On the other side is making things better.
00:39:54.150 --> 00:39:57.030
To cross the bridge we need three steps.
00:39:57.349 --> 00:40:01.110
First, recognize what did I do?
00:40:01.829 --> 00:40:04.469
Second repair.
00:40:04.949 --> 00:40:07.510
What could I do to help put things right?
00:40:08.230 --> 00:40:10.550
Third learn.
00:40:10.869 --> 00:40:13.190
What will I try next time?
00:40:14.710 --> 00:40:17.110
Remember those three words.
00:40:17.909 --> 00:40:22.309
Recognize repair learn.
00:40:22.949 --> 00:40:26.150
They can help us cross back towards connection.
00:40:26.630 --> 00:40:32.550
You've done such important work today and throughout our whole understanding anger series.
00:40:33.030 --> 00:40:35.349
Let's remember what we have learned.
00:40:35.909 --> 00:40:38.389
Anger is a normal emotion.
00:40:38.710 --> 00:40:41.670
Our bodies can warn us when it's growing.
00:40:41.989 --> 00:40:46.630
We can look underneath anger to understand what it might be telling us.
00:40:46.949 --> 00:40:49.190
We can pause before acting.
00:40:49.510 --> 00:40:52.070
We can express anger safely.
00:40:52.469 --> 00:40:58.550
And if we make a poor choice, we can recognise, repair, and learn.
00:40:59.030 --> 00:41:03.269
Here's your final mindful moment challenge for this series.
00:41:03.909 --> 00:41:08.550
If you make a mistake because you're angry, don't hide from it.
00:41:08.869 --> 00:41:11.190
When you're calm, ask.
00:41:14.789 --> 00:41:18.230
Then think about what you'll try differently next time.
00:41:18.869 --> 00:41:21.829
Thank you for joining me throughout series 16.
00:41:22.469 --> 00:41:24.230
Understanding anger.
00:41:24.949 --> 00:41:27.110
Keep noticing your anger.
00:41:27.429 --> 00:41:29.829
Keep choosing what you do with it.
00:41:30.309 --> 00:41:33.030
Keep learning when things go wrong.
00:41:33.590 --> 00:41:38.469
And as always, keep shining bright.
00:00:04.320 --> 00:00:10.080
Hello everyone, and welcome to a brand new series of mindful moments with Miss Harrison.
00:00:10.240 --> 00:00:16.000
I'm Miss Harrison and I'm so happy you're here as we begin our new series.
00:00:16.559 --> 00:00:18.399
Understanding Anger.
00:00:19.039 --> 00:00:29.679
In our last series, we spent time understanding ourselves, what we need, our strengths, our limits, and how we can become our own friend.
00:00:30.160 --> 00:00:35.520
Now we're going to explore an emotion that every single one of us experiences.
00:00:36.880 --> 00:00:37.520
Anger.
00:00:38.479 --> 00:00:57.520
Over the next six episodes, we'll get to know anger, discover what happens in our bodies when it appears, explore what anger might be telling us, learn how to pause before we act, find safe ways to express it, and think about how we can make things right afterwards.
00:00:58.320 --> 00:01:01.280
Today we're starting with getting to know anger.
00:01:01.679 --> 00:01:06.719
By the end of this episode, you'll understand that anger isn't a bad emotion.
00:01:06.959 --> 00:01:10.159
It's a feeling that can give us important information.
00:01:11.120 --> 00:01:12.480
Let's begin.
00:01:13.280 --> 00:01:16.159
Think about the last time you felt angry.
00:01:16.879 --> 00:01:20.000
Perhaps someone took something without asking.
00:01:20.319 --> 00:01:22.560
Maybe something felt unfair.
00:01:23.120 --> 00:01:27.920
Perhaps you tried and tried to do something and it still wasn't working.
00:01:28.239 --> 00:01:30.480
What did anger feel like?
00:01:31.439 --> 00:01:38.719
Maybe your face became hot, your voice became louder, your fist tightened.
00:01:39.200 --> 00:01:41.760
Or perhaps you became very quiet.
00:01:42.319 --> 00:01:53.760
Anger can feel powerful, and because anger can sometimes lead us to shout, say hurtful things, or act without thinking, we might decide.
00:01:54.560 --> 00:01:58.719
Anger is bad, but anger itself isn't bad.
00:01:59.040 --> 00:02:00.879
Anger is an emotion.
00:02:01.200 --> 00:02:05.519
Just like happiness, sadness, worry, or excitement.
00:02:05.760 --> 00:02:07.439
The feeling is okay.
00:02:07.680 --> 00:02:11.280
What matters is what we choose to do when it arrives.
00:02:11.759 --> 00:02:15.120
Let's hear about someone who began to understand that.
00:02:16.080 --> 00:02:21.919
Leo had spent all of playtime building an enormous tower from wooden blocks.
00:02:22.159 --> 00:02:27.599
It had four levels, two bridges and a little doorway at the bottom.
00:02:28.000 --> 00:02:30.719
Leo was incredibly proud of it.
00:02:30.960 --> 00:02:36.080
Then another child hurried past and accidentally knocked it over.
00:02:36.639 --> 00:02:37.759
Crash.
00:02:38.479 --> 00:02:40.000
Leo froze.
00:02:40.319 --> 00:02:42.080
His face became hot.
00:02:42.560 --> 00:02:44.400
His heart thumped.
00:02:45.039 --> 00:02:47.520
You ruined it, he shouted.
00:02:47.840 --> 00:02:53.039
He wanted to kick the blocks across the floor, but his teacher came over.
00:02:53.439 --> 00:02:56.319
You look really angry, she said.
00:02:56.800 --> 00:02:59.680
I am angry, Leo replied.
00:03:00.000 --> 00:03:02.080
I worked on it for ages.
00:03:02.719 --> 00:03:04.479
His teacher nodded.
00:03:04.800 --> 00:03:06.400
That makes sense.
00:03:06.719 --> 00:03:09.520
Something you cared about was damaged.
00:03:10.159 --> 00:03:11.439
Leo stopped.
00:03:11.759 --> 00:03:14.719
His teacher wasn't telling him not to be angry.
00:03:15.039 --> 00:03:17.759
She understood why he was angry.
00:03:18.960 --> 00:03:22.800
But she continued, your anger is a feeling.
00:03:23.039 --> 00:03:27.599
It doesn't get to decide what your feet or your words do next.
00:03:28.159 --> 00:03:30.000
Leo looked at the blocks.
00:03:30.319 --> 00:03:31.840
He was still angry.
00:03:32.960 --> 00:03:36.000
But instead of kicking them, he took a breath.
00:03:36.479 --> 00:03:38.719
I need a minute, he said.
00:03:40.000 --> 00:03:46.960
Later, Leo explained why he had been upset, and the other child helped him rebuild.
00:03:47.439 --> 00:03:49.919
Leo's anger hadn't been wrong.
00:03:50.240 --> 00:03:55.439
It had told him something I cared about has happened.
00:03:55.840 --> 00:03:58.960
What do you think Leo learned about anger?
00:04:00.080 --> 00:04:04.719
Just like Leo, we can learn to become curious about anger.
00:04:05.280 --> 00:04:07.840
Here are three things to remember.
00:04:08.159 --> 00:04:10.639
One, anger is normal.
00:04:10.960 --> 00:04:13.599
Everyone feels angry sometimes.
00:04:13.919 --> 00:04:17.360
Feeling anger doesn't make you unkind or bad.
00:04:17.680 --> 00:04:19.360
It makes you human.
00:04:19.839 --> 00:04:20.480
Two.
00:04:21.120 --> 00:04:23.519
Anger often has a reason.
00:04:23.759 --> 00:04:37.120
Anger might appear when something feels unfair, when we're frustrated, when somebody crosses a boundary, or sometimes when we're hurt, worried, or embarrassed underneath.
00:04:37.439 --> 00:04:41.199
We can ask, Why might my anger be here?
00:04:41.680 --> 00:04:42.319
three.
00:04:42.560 --> 00:04:44.720
Feelings and actions are different.
00:04:45.040 --> 00:04:47.439
We don't always choose our feelings.
00:04:48.000 --> 00:04:51.040
But we can learn to choose what we do with them.
00:04:51.920 --> 00:04:54.000
It's okay to feel angry.
00:04:54.240 --> 00:04:57.519
It's not okay to hurt someone because we're angry.
00:04:58.160 --> 00:05:00.800
Let's get curious about your anger.
00:05:01.199 --> 00:05:03.600
Think about a time you felt angry.
00:05:03.839 --> 00:05:08.800
You don't need to choose your biggest angry moment, just an ordinary one.
00:05:09.279 --> 00:05:10.720
What happened?
00:05:11.120 --> 00:05:12.319
Now ask.
00:05:12.800 --> 00:05:14.560
What was my anger about?
00:05:15.279 --> 00:05:17.920
Maybe something felt unfair.
00:05:18.639 --> 00:05:22.079
Perhaps you were disappointed or frustrated.
00:05:22.720 --> 00:05:28.240
Now imagine saying Hello anger I notice you're here.
00:05:29.199 --> 00:05:31.439
Take one slow breath.
00:05:31.759 --> 00:05:34.319
You don't have to push anger away.
00:05:34.639 --> 00:05:38.079
For now we're simply learning to notice it.
00:05:38.639 --> 00:05:42.720
You've done such thoughtful work today getting to know anger.
00:05:43.040 --> 00:05:47.279
Let's remember anger is a normal emotion.
00:05:47.600 --> 00:05:51.680
It can give us useful information about something that matters to us.
00:05:52.079 --> 00:05:56.079
And feeling angry is different from choosing an angry action.
00:05:56.560 --> 00:05:59.439
Here's your mindful moment challenge for the week.
00:05:59.759 --> 00:06:06.000
If you notice anger appearing, pause and say I'm feeling angry.
00:06:06.639 --> 00:06:12.639
Then if you can ask I wonder why my anger is here.
00:06:13.680 --> 00:06:17.199
You don't have to solve it yet, just notice.
00:06:18.240 --> 00:06:29.439
Next time on Mindful Moments with Miss Harrison, we'll explore what happens when I get angry and discover some of the clues our bodies give us when anger starts to grow.
00:06:29.920 --> 00:06:32.240
Thank you for joining me today.
00:06:32.560 --> 00:06:41.279
Keep noticing, keep being curious about your feelings, and as always, keep shining bright.
00:07:12.879 --> 00:07:16.240
Last time we started getting to know anger.
00:07:16.480 --> 00:07:19.759
We discovered that anger isn't a bad emotion.
00:07:20.000 --> 00:07:28.639
It's a normal feeling that can give us useful information when something feels wrong, unfair, or frustrating.
00:07:29.360 --> 00:07:33.040
Did you try your mindful moment challenge this week?
00:07:33.439 --> 00:07:40.079
Perhaps you noticed anger arriving and asked yourself, I wonder why my anger is here.
00:07:41.439 --> 00:07:47.040
Today we're going to become anger detectives and explore what happens when I get angry.
00:07:48.240 --> 00:07:59.360
By the end of this episode, you'll know some of the clues your body can give you when anger is beginning to grow, and why noticing those clues early can be really helpful.
00:07:59.920 --> 00:08:01.199
Let's begin.
00:08:01.519 --> 00:08:08.240
Anger might begin with something that happens around us, but we often feel it in our bodies.
00:08:08.959 --> 00:08:11.360
Think about a time when you were angry.
00:08:11.920 --> 00:08:14.160
Did your heart beat faster?
00:08:14.560 --> 00:08:16.399
Did your face feel hot?
00:08:17.600 --> 00:08:19.920
Maybe your fists tightened.
00:08:20.800 --> 00:08:23.199
Perhaps your shoulders became tense.
00:08:23.439 --> 00:08:26.079
Your breathing might have become quicker.
00:08:26.399 --> 00:08:29.759
Some people feel anger bubbling in their tummy.
00:08:30.720 --> 00:08:35.440
Others notice their jaw tightening or their voice getting louder.
00:08:36.399 --> 00:08:41.360
And not everybody experiences anger in exactly the same way.
00:08:42.000 --> 00:08:47.679
These body signals are important because they can act like an early warning system.
00:08:48.320 --> 00:08:52.799
They tell us anger is arriving.
00:08:53.039 --> 00:08:59.039
And if we can notice anger arriving, we have more time to decide what to do next.
00:08:59.279 --> 00:09:02.879
Let's hear about someone who learned to spot his signals.
00:09:04.000 --> 00:09:07.200
Isaac loved playing football at lunchtime.
00:09:07.440 --> 00:09:11.679
One day he was running towards the goal when another player bumped into him.
00:09:12.080 --> 00:09:13.600
Isaac fell.
00:09:13.919 --> 00:09:16.399
No foul, called his friend.
00:09:16.720 --> 00:09:18.559
Isaac stood up quickly.
00:09:18.799 --> 00:09:21.279
He could feel his face getting hot.
00:09:21.759 --> 00:09:23.840
Then his hands tightened.
00:09:24.080 --> 00:09:26.320
His heart began thumping.
00:09:27.120 --> 00:09:30.159
That was a foul, he shouted.
00:09:30.480 --> 00:09:32.399
His voice became louder.
00:09:32.720 --> 00:09:38.559
He was just about to grab the ball when he remembered something his teacher had shown the class.
00:09:39.600 --> 00:09:41.279
An anger thermometer.
00:09:42.480 --> 00:09:44.399
At the bottom was calm.
00:09:44.879 --> 00:09:50.080
In the middle were the first signs of anger, and at the top was boiling.
00:09:50.399 --> 00:09:51.759
Isaac stopped.
00:09:52.080 --> 00:09:56.639
Hot face, tight fists, thumping heart.
00:09:57.519 --> 00:10:00.879
My thermometer is going up, he thought.
00:10:01.200 --> 00:10:05.919
Instead of continuing the argument, Isaac stepped away from the game.
00:10:06.159 --> 00:10:09.840
He took a few slow breaths and got a drink of water.
00:10:10.080 --> 00:10:24.480
His anger didn't disappear immediately, but slowly his hands loosened, his breathing settled, and when Isaac returned he was able to explain what had upset him without shouting.
00:10:25.360 --> 00:10:32.720
For the first time Isaac realized his body had been warning him before his anger reached boiling point.
00:10:33.200 --> 00:10:36.480
What do you think Isaac learned about his anger?
00:10:36.960 --> 00:10:43.200
Just like Isaac, we can learn to notice what anger feels like in our own bodies.
00:10:43.519 --> 00:10:45.840
Here are three things to remember.
00:10:46.320 --> 00:10:48.639
One, notice your body.
00:10:48.960 --> 00:10:52.000
Ask what's happening inside me?
00:10:52.720 --> 00:10:55.039
Perhaps your heart is racing.
00:10:55.360 --> 00:10:57.200
Your muscles feel tight.
00:10:57.519 --> 00:10:59.200
Your face feels hot.
00:10:59.679 --> 00:11:01.200
Those are clues.
00:11:01.840 --> 00:11:04.559
two notice your actions.
00:11:04.799 --> 00:11:12.720
Maybe you start pacing, speaking loudly, crossing your arms, or becoming very quiet.
00:11:13.440 --> 00:11:15.840
These can also be anger signals.
00:11:17.120 --> 00:11:20.720
Three Catch anger early.
00:11:20.960 --> 00:11:26.080
The earlier we notice anger, the easier it can be to make a thoughtful choice.
00:11:26.480 --> 00:11:30.240
We don't have to wait until our anger reaches boiling point.
00:11:30.879 --> 00:11:34.240
We can notice it while the temperature is still rising.
00:11:35.120 --> 00:11:38.399
Let's imagine your own anger thermometer.
00:11:38.960 --> 00:11:40.799
At the bottom is calm.
00:11:41.120 --> 00:11:43.919
How does your body feel when you're calm?
00:11:44.960 --> 00:11:47.679
Now imagine the temperature rising.
00:11:48.240 --> 00:11:50.080
You're becoming annoyed.
00:11:50.399 --> 00:11:52.159
What might you notice?
00:11:53.200 --> 00:11:55.919
Now the thermometer rises higher.
00:11:56.159 --> 00:11:57.759
You're really angry.
00:11:58.080 --> 00:12:00.000
What happens to your face?
00:12:00.559 --> 00:12:01.600
Your hands?
00:12:02.240 --> 00:12:03.360
Your heart?
00:12:03.840 --> 00:12:04.879
Your voice?
00:12:06.080 --> 00:12:08.559
Now take one slow breath.
00:12:08.960 --> 00:12:12.480
Imagine the thermometer beginning to move down again.
00:12:12.799 --> 00:12:16.080
Knowing your signals means you can notice.
00:12:17.039 --> 00:12:18.879
My anger is rising.
00:12:19.120 --> 00:12:21.120
I need to pay attention.
00:12:21.759 --> 00:12:27.120
You've done such thoughtful work today exploring what happens when you get angry.
00:12:27.440 --> 00:12:28.799
Let's remember.
00:12:29.440 --> 00:12:32.960
Anger often creates changes in our bodies.
00:12:33.200 --> 00:12:36.879
Everyone's anger signals can be a little different.
00:12:37.279 --> 00:12:42.799
And noticing those signals early gives us more time to choose what happens next.
00:12:43.360 --> 00:12:46.480
Here's your mindful moment challenge for the week.
00:12:46.720 --> 00:12:51.919
If you feel annoyed or angry, notice one clue in your body.
00:12:52.240 --> 00:12:59.840
Perhaps it's a hot face, tight hands, a faster heartbeat, or something completely different.
00:13:00.399 --> 00:13:02.799
Simply notice it and think.
00:13:03.919 --> 00:13:06.960
My anger thermometer is rising.
00:13:07.360 --> 00:13:19.120
Next time on Mindful Moments with Miss Harrison, we'll explore what is my anger telling me, and discover what might be hiding underneath or behind our angry feelings.
00:13:19.679 --> 00:13:21.600
Thank you for joining me today.
00:13:21.840 --> 00:14:04.870
Keep noticing your signals, keep listening to your body, and as always, keep shining bright.
00:14:28.309 --> 00:14:35.190
I'm Miss Harrison, and I'm so happy you're here for another episode in our Understanding Anger series.
00:14:35.830 --> 00:14:42.389
Last time we became anger detectives and explored what happens when I get angry.
00:14:43.029 --> 00:14:55.669
We learn that our bodies can give us clues, like a hot face, tight fists, a faster heartbeat, or a louder voice when our anger thermometer starts to rise.
00:14:56.149 --> 00:14:59.669
Did you try your mindful moment challenge this week?
00:15:00.309 --> 00:15:06.950
Perhaps you noticed one of your own anger signals and thought my anger thermometer is rising.
00:15:07.990 --> 00:15:11.590
Today we're going to look a little deeper and ask.
00:15:34.950 --> 00:15:42.070
Above the water we can see the top, but underneath there's much more that we can't see.
00:15:42.710 --> 00:15:45.350
Anger can sometimes be like that.
00:15:45.830 --> 00:15:51.990
Anger is the part we notice on top, but underneath there might be another feeling.
00:15:52.389 --> 00:16:03.509
Maybe we feel hurt, embarrassed, left out, worried, disappointed, or perhaps something has happened that feels unfair.
00:16:03.830 --> 00:16:08.470
This doesn't mean anger is hiding another feeling every single time.
00:16:09.029 --> 00:16:11.190
Sometimes we're simply angry.
00:16:11.990 --> 00:16:18.389
But asking what might be underneath my anger can help us understand ourselves better.
00:16:18.789 --> 00:16:23.909
Let's hear about someone who discovered what her anger was trying to tell her.
00:16:24.629 --> 00:16:29.269
Layla walked into school and heard her friends talking excitedly.
00:16:30.470 --> 00:16:33.750
I can't wait for Saturday, said Mia.
00:16:34.389 --> 00:16:36.950
Me neither, replied Grace.
00:16:37.830 --> 00:16:39.269
Layla stopped.
00:16:39.590 --> 00:16:42.789
They were talking about a birthday party.
00:16:43.110 --> 00:16:46.230
A party Layla hadn't been invited to.
00:16:47.029 --> 00:16:53.190
Her tummy dropped, but almost immediately another feeling arrived.
00:16:53.830 --> 00:16:54.470
Anger.
00:16:55.429 --> 00:17:00.470
I don't care about your stupid party anyway, Layla snapped.
00:17:00.710 --> 00:17:04.950
She pushed her chair under the table loudly and walked away.
00:17:05.750 --> 00:17:10.070
At lunchtime, Layla's teacher found her sitting quietly.
00:17:10.710 --> 00:17:13.990
You seemed very angry this morning, she said.
00:17:15.029 --> 00:17:18.150
I am angry, Layla replied.
00:17:18.869 --> 00:17:20.869
Her teacher nodded.
00:17:21.349 --> 00:17:24.309
Can we look underneath the anger for a moment?
00:17:25.110 --> 00:17:26.389
Layla frowned.
00:17:26.630 --> 00:17:29.990
If your anger could talk, what might it say?
00:17:32.070 --> 00:17:33.829
Layla was quiet.
00:17:34.230 --> 00:17:39.349
Then she whispered It might say I feel left out.
00:17:40.309 --> 00:17:42.309
Her teacher waited.
00:17:42.950 --> 00:17:46.309
And I thought Mia was my friend.
00:17:46.950 --> 00:17:56.950
Suddenly, Layla realized she wasn't only angry, she was hurt, knowing that didn't make the feeling disappear.
00:17:57.750 --> 00:18:01.509
But now Layla understood what she needed.
00:18:02.069 --> 00:18:06.470
Instead of another argument, she needed someone to listen.
00:18:06.789 --> 00:18:13.670
Later, when she felt ready, Layla was able to talk calmly about how she'd felt.
00:18:14.150 --> 00:18:17.750
What do you think Leila discovered underneath her anger?
00:18:18.309 --> 00:18:23.670
Just like Layla, we can become curious about what our anger might be telling us.
00:18:24.309 --> 00:18:26.950
Here are three questions that can help.
00:18:27.269 --> 00:18:30.150
One What happened?
00:18:30.630 --> 00:18:34.230
Think about what happened just before the anger appeared.
00:18:34.710 --> 00:18:36.710
Did something feel unfair?
00:18:37.269 --> 00:18:40.309
Did somebody say or do something?
00:18:40.869 --> 00:18:43.829
Did something not go the way you hoped?
00:18:44.950 --> 00:18:48.150
two What else am I feeling?
00:18:48.549 --> 00:18:49.190
Ask.
00:18:50.549 --> 00:18:53.029
Is there another feeling here too?
00:18:53.670 --> 00:19:02.390
Perhaps you're disappointed embarrassed, worried, jealous, lonely or hurt.
00:19:02.789 --> 00:19:06.230
We can feel more than one emotion at the same time.
00:19:06.789 --> 00:19:07.430
Three.
00:19:08.069 --> 00:19:09.670
What might I need?
00:19:10.309 --> 00:19:13.029
Perhaps you need to explain how you feel.
00:19:13.349 --> 00:19:23.029
Maybe you need some space, an apology, reassurance, help or simply somebody to listen.
00:19:23.990 --> 00:19:28.950
Understanding what anger is telling us can help us choose what to do next.
00:19:29.430 --> 00:19:32.789
Let's imagine your own anger iceberg.
00:19:33.269 --> 00:19:36.549
Picture the word anger above the water.
00:19:37.190 --> 00:19:39.829
Now think of a time you felt angry.
00:19:40.390 --> 00:19:41.670
What happened?
00:19:41.990 --> 00:19:44.309
Now look underneath the water.
00:19:44.630 --> 00:19:47.190
Was there another feeling there too?
00:19:47.509 --> 00:19:50.230
Hurt disappointment?
00:19:50.869 --> 00:19:56.150
Worry embarrassment something else?
00:19:56.470 --> 00:19:57.430
Now ask.
00:19:57.750 --> 00:19:59.750
What did I need in that moment?
00:20:00.950 --> 00:20:03.750
You don't have to find a perfect answer.
00:20:03.990 --> 00:20:06.869
We're simply practicing looking underneath.
00:20:07.190 --> 00:20:12.630
You've done such thoughtful work today exploring what anger might be telling you.
00:20:13.109 --> 00:20:19.029
Let's remember anger can sometimes be the feeling we see on the surface.
00:20:19.269 --> 00:20:21.829
Other feelings may be underneath it.
00:20:22.309 --> 00:20:26.869
And understanding those feelings can help us recognise what we need.
00:20:27.589 --> 00:20:30.390
Here's your mindful moment challenge for the week.
00:20:31.589 --> 00:20:37.910
If you notice anger this week, wait until you feel calm enough and ask, What happened?
00:20:38.789 --> 00:20:41.109
What else might I be feeling?
00:20:41.430 --> 00:20:42.789
What might I need?
00:20:44.230 --> 00:20:57.750
Next time on Mindful Moments with Miss Harrison, we'll explore the pause before we act and discover how even a tiny space between feeling angry and doing something can make a big difference.
00:20:58.470 --> 00:21:00.470
Thank you for joining me today.
00:21:00.789 --> 00:21:03.349
Keep looking beneath the surface.
00:21:03.670 --> 00:21:06.390
Keep being curious about your feelings.
00:21:06.950 --> 00:21:10.869
And as always, keep shining bright.
00:21:34.069 --> 00:21:40.789
I'm Miss Harrison and I'm so happy you're here for another episode in our Understanding Anger series.
00:21:41.829 --> 00:21:46.789
Last time we explored what is my anger telling me.
00:21:47.269 --> 00:21:59.109
We discovered that anger can sometimes be like the top of an iceberg, with other feelings like hurt, disappointment, worry, or embarrassment underneath.
00:21:59.990 --> 00:22:03.670
Did you try your mindful moment challenge this week?
00:22:04.150 --> 00:22:09.430
Perhaps once you were calm, you asked yourself, what else might I be feeling?
00:22:10.390 --> 00:22:16.150
Today we're exploring one of the most useful skills we can learn when anger arrives.
00:22:16.869 --> 00:22:19.430
The pause before we act.
00:22:19.990 --> 00:22:30.470
By the end of this episode, you'll understand how creating even a tiny space between feeling angry and acting on that feeling can help you make a better choice.
00:22:31.109 --> 00:22:32.390
Let's begin.
00:22:33.269 --> 00:22:35.509
Have you ever done something when you were angry?
00:22:36.230 --> 00:22:37.990
And wished you could take it back?
00:22:38.950 --> 00:22:48.150
Maybe you shouted, slammed a door, threw something, or said words you didn't really mean.
00:22:48.470 --> 00:22:51.349
Anger can make us want to act quickly.
00:22:51.670 --> 00:22:55.109
Our body says, Do something now.
00:22:55.910 --> 00:22:58.630
But remember what we've already learned.
00:22:58.950 --> 00:23:01.029
Feeling angry is okay.
00:23:01.269 --> 00:23:03.910
The action we choose is something different.
00:23:04.150 --> 00:23:06.470
That's where the pause comes in.
00:23:07.349 --> 00:23:13.109
A pause gives our thinking brain a little time to catch up with our angry feeling.
00:23:13.349 --> 00:23:15.109
It doesn't have to be long.
00:23:15.509 --> 00:23:24.309
Sometimes just a few seconds can help us move from react to what do I want to do next?
00:23:25.349 --> 00:23:29.990
Let's hear about someone who discovered the power of that tiny pause.
00:23:30.390 --> 00:23:33.829
Ben had been working on a painting all afternoon.
00:23:34.069 --> 00:23:38.470
He had mixed the colours carefully and was almost finished.
00:23:38.789 --> 00:23:41.829
Then his friend Amira reached across the table.
00:23:42.150 --> 00:23:45.029
Her arm caught Ben's pot of water.
00:23:45.829 --> 00:23:47.109
Splash.
00:23:47.430 --> 00:23:49.670
Water spread across the paper.
00:23:49.990 --> 00:23:52.950
Ben jumped up, his face felt hot.
00:23:53.509 --> 00:23:55.269
His fists tightened.
00:23:55.589 --> 00:23:59.109
He was about to shout Look what you've done.
00:23:59.430 --> 00:24:01.990
But then he stopped.
00:24:02.309 --> 00:24:11.430
Ben remembered his anger thermometer, hot face, tight hands, fast heartbeat.
00:24:11.829 --> 00:24:19.589
His anger was rising, so Ben took one step back, he breathed in and slowly out.
00:24:20.630 --> 00:24:22.869
Amira looked horrified.
00:24:23.430 --> 00:24:25.109
I'm really sorry, Ben.
00:24:25.430 --> 00:24:26.789
It was an accident.
00:24:27.910 --> 00:24:29.829
Ben was still angry.
00:24:30.309 --> 00:24:35.190
The pause hadn't magically changed that, but now he could think.
00:24:36.069 --> 00:24:39.190
I worked really hard on that, he said.
00:24:40.069 --> 00:24:41.910
I'm really upset.
00:24:42.710 --> 00:24:44.470
I know, said Amira.
00:24:44.869 --> 00:24:46.869
Can I help you fix it?
00:24:48.789 --> 00:24:53.349
Together they carefully lifted the wet paper and found another sheet.
00:24:53.670 --> 00:24:55.990
Ben was still disappointed.
00:24:56.470 --> 00:24:58.630
But he was also proud.
00:24:59.349 --> 00:25:04.069
He had felt his anger and chosen what happened next.
00:25:04.710 --> 00:25:08.950
What do you think Ben learned about pausing before acting?
00:25:09.509 --> 00:25:14.069
Just like Ben, we can practice creating a pause when anger appears.
00:25:14.470 --> 00:25:18.309
Here are three simple steps one stop.
00:25:19.109 --> 00:25:23.910
When you notice your anger signals, don't immediately act.
00:25:24.869 --> 00:25:28.069
If you can, stop your body for a moment.
00:25:29.269 --> 00:25:31.349
Two breathe.
00:25:31.670 --> 00:25:37.109
Take one slow breath in and out.
00:25:38.710 --> 00:25:41.589
You aren't trying to make the anger disappear.
00:25:41.910 --> 00:25:43.750
You're giving yourself time.
00:25:44.549 --> 00:25:48.069
Three choose ask.
00:25:48.630 --> 00:25:50.869
What do I want to do next?
00:25:51.430 --> 00:25:53.430
Maybe you need to step away.
00:25:53.750 --> 00:25:58.630
Use calm words ask for help or tell someone.
00:25:59.349 --> 00:26:02.309
I'm too angry to talk about this yet.
00:26:02.710 --> 00:26:05.029
The pause gives you choices.
00:26:05.829 --> 00:26:08.069
Let's practice together.
00:26:08.710 --> 00:26:12.470
Imagine someone has just done something that makes you angry.
00:26:12.869 --> 00:26:15.029
You feel your anger rising.
00:26:15.430 --> 00:26:16.069
Ready?
00:26:17.029 --> 00:26:17.910
Stop.
00:26:18.710 --> 00:26:23.269
Now breathe in one and breathe out.
00:26:23.990 --> 00:26:24.630
Two.
00:26:25.509 --> 00:26:28.789
Ask yourself What do I choose?
00:26:29.910 --> 00:26:30.549
Three.
00:26:31.349 --> 00:26:34.150
Perhaps you choose to speak calmly.
00:26:34.710 --> 00:26:38.470
Perhaps you step away, perhaps you find an adult.
00:26:38.789 --> 00:26:46.549
Three seconds won't solve every problem, but those three seconds can sometimes stop anger from choosing for you.
00:26:47.029 --> 00:26:52.309
You've done such important work today learning about the pause before we act.
00:26:52.630 --> 00:26:57.990
Let's remember anger can make us want to react quickly.
00:26:58.309 --> 00:27:06.950
A pause gives our thinking brain time to catch up, and we can feel angry while still choosing a safe and thoughtful action.
00:27:07.750 --> 00:27:10.950
Here's your mindful moment challenge for the week.
00:27:11.349 --> 00:27:15.509
If you notice your anger thermometer rising, practice.
00:27:16.230 --> 00:27:17.190
Stop.
00:27:17.750 --> 00:27:18.869
Breathe.
00:27:19.430 --> 00:27:20.549
Choose.
00:27:21.109 --> 00:27:25.670
Even if you remember after the moment has passed, that's okay.
00:27:26.230 --> 00:27:28.869
Noticing is part of learning.
00:27:29.589 --> 00:27:45.509
Next time on Mindful Moments with Miss Harrison, we'll explore expressing anger safely, because anger needs somewhere to go, and there are ways to express it without hurting ourselves, other people, or the things around us.
00:27:45.910 --> 00:27:47.990
Thank you for joining me today.
00:27:48.309 --> 00:28:13.750
Keep pausing, keep choosing, and as always, keep shining brightness.
00:28:18.230 --> 00:28:25.190
I'm Miss Harrison, and I'm so happy you're here for another episode in our Understanding Anger series.
00:28:25.829 --> 00:28:29.509
Last time we explored the pause before we act.
00:28:29.750 --> 00:28:37.829
We learned that when anger makes us want to react quickly, we can create a little space by remembering three simple words.
00:28:43.109 --> 00:28:46.230
Did you try your mindful moment challenge this week?
00:28:46.470 --> 00:28:55.109
Perhaps you noticed your anger thermometer rising and managed to pause even for just a moment before deciding what to do next.
00:28:55.670 --> 00:28:59.829
Today we're going to explore expressing anger safely.
00:29:00.230 --> 00:29:05.670
Because anger is a real feeling and sometimes it feels powerful.
00:29:05.990 --> 00:29:09.430
We don't need to hide it or pretend it isn't there.
00:29:10.230 --> 00:29:18.869
Instead, we can learn ways to show and express our anger without hurting ourselves, other people or the things around us.
00:29:19.269 --> 00:29:20.549
Let's begin.
00:29:20.950 --> 00:29:23.910
Imagine shaking a bottle of fizzy drink.
00:29:24.630 --> 00:29:27.829
Shake, shake, shake.
00:29:28.470 --> 00:29:38.309
If you keep all that fizz trapped inside and suddenly open the lid, whoosh anger can sometimes feel a little like that.
00:29:38.710 --> 00:29:43.589
If we pretend we're not angry, the feeling might keep bubbling inside.
00:29:44.069 --> 00:29:48.950
But letting anger explode isn't the answer either.
00:29:49.269 --> 00:29:55.190
Expressing anger safely means finding a way to say I'm angry.
00:29:55.589 --> 00:29:57.269
This has upset me.
00:29:57.670 --> 00:29:59.269
I need some space.
00:29:59.910 --> 00:30:06.630
Without hurting anyone, we can let people know how we feel and stay in control of what we do.
00:30:07.190 --> 00:30:14.549
Let's hear about someone who learned how Maya had made a bracelet using her favourite beads.
00:30:14.789 --> 00:30:18.549
She left it on her desk while she went downstairs.
00:30:19.269 --> 00:30:23.589
When she came back her younger sister Evie was wearing it.
00:30:24.069 --> 00:30:26.950
That's mine Maya shouted.
00:30:27.190 --> 00:30:29.589
She could feel her face getting hot.
00:30:30.309 --> 00:30:34.069
She wanted to grab the bracelet straight from Evie's wrist.
00:30:34.309 --> 00:30:39.029
Then Maya remembered stop breathe.
00:30:39.829 --> 00:30:40.789
Choose.
00:30:41.589 --> 00:30:45.910
She stopped, took a breath, and stepped away.
00:30:47.029 --> 00:30:49.190
I need a minute, she said.
00:30:49.910 --> 00:30:56.150
Maya went into the hallway and squeezed her hands tightly, then relaxed them.
00:30:56.789 --> 00:30:59.190
She took another slow breath.
00:30:59.750 --> 00:31:02.549
When she returned she was still angry.
00:31:03.589 --> 00:31:05.509
But now she could speak.
00:31:06.309 --> 00:31:12.309
I feel really angry because you took my bracelet without asking, Maya said.
00:31:12.549 --> 00:31:15.349
Please give it back and ask me next time.
00:31:16.549 --> 00:31:17.990
Evie looked down.
00:31:18.789 --> 00:31:22.069
Sorry, I just really liked it.
00:31:22.470 --> 00:31:24.630
She handed the bracelet back.
00:31:25.269 --> 00:31:33.750
Maya's anger hadn't vanished, but she had expressed it without grabbing, shouting again, or hurting her sister.
00:31:34.309 --> 00:31:37.750
What do you think Maya learned about expressing anger?
00:31:38.309 --> 00:31:43.269
Just like Maya we can find safe ways to express angry feelings.
00:31:43.750 --> 00:31:45.910
Here are three things to remember.
00:31:46.390 --> 00:31:48.710
One, use words.
00:31:49.029 --> 00:31:55.910
Try saying I'm angry because I didn't like what happened.
00:31:56.309 --> 00:31:58.069
I need some space.
00:31:58.630 --> 00:32:02.309
Clear words help other people understand what's wrong.
00:32:02.630 --> 00:32:05.990
Two, help your body release the energy.
00:32:06.309 --> 00:32:09.509
Anger can bring lots of energy into our bodies.
00:32:09.829 --> 00:32:19.109
You might walk, stretch, shake out your hands, squeeze and release your muscles, or take some slow breaths.
00:32:19.430 --> 00:32:23.589
Choose something that is safe for you and everyone around you.
00:32:24.549 --> 00:32:25.190
3.
00:32:25.990 --> 00:32:27.190
Get support.
00:32:27.990 --> 00:32:31.349
Sometimes anger feels too big to manage alone.
00:32:31.589 --> 00:32:37.430
Find a trusted adult and say, I'm really angry and I need some help.
00:32:38.390 --> 00:32:41.109
Asking for support is always okay.
00:32:41.509 --> 00:32:44.710
Let's create your own safe anger menu.
00:32:45.190 --> 00:32:47.990
Imagine three choices on your menu.
00:32:48.309 --> 00:32:55.269
First, something I can say when I'm angry is maybe I need a minute.
00:32:55.750 --> 00:33:03.349
Now, something safe I can do with my body is perhaps walk, stretch or breathe.
00:33:03.589 --> 00:33:12.150
And finally, someone I can talk to is now you have three choices ready for the next time anger appears.
00:33:13.109 --> 00:33:15.910
Say, do talk.
00:33:16.789 --> 00:33:21.990
You've done such important work today learning about expressing anger safely.
00:33:22.390 --> 00:33:26.630
Let's remember we don't need to hide anger.
00:33:27.029 --> 00:33:30.230
We don't need to let it explode either.
00:33:30.549 --> 00:33:35.990
We can use words, safe actions, and support to express what we're feeling.
00:33:36.309 --> 00:33:39.269
Here's your mindful moment challenge for the week.
00:33:40.390 --> 00:33:44.789
Choose one thing from your safe anger menu and remember it.
00:33:45.269 --> 00:33:49.589
If anger appears, try using that safe choice.
00:33:50.390 --> 00:33:57.990
Next time on Mindful Moments with Miss Harrison, we'll finish our understanding anger series with making things right.
00:33:58.470 --> 00:34:05.589
Because sometimes, even when we're learning to manage anger, we might still say or do something we regret.
00:34:05.829 --> 00:34:08.789
We'll discover what we can do afterwards.
00:34:09.269 --> 00:34:11.269
Thank you for joining me today.
00:34:11.590 --> 00:34:19.590
Keep expressing your feelings, keep making safe choices, and as always, keep shining bright.
00:34:43.190 --> 00:34:50.630
I'm Miss Harrison, and I'm so happy you're here for the final episode in our Understanding Anger series.
00:34:51.349 --> 00:34:55.670
Over the past few episodes, we've really got to know anger.
00:34:55.909 --> 00:35:08.469
We've learned how it can feel in our bodies, explored what might be underneath it, practiced pausing before we act, and discovered safe ways to express angry feelings.
00:35:09.269 --> 00:35:12.309
Did you try your mindful moment challenge this week?
00:35:12.550 --> 00:35:20.630
Perhaps you remembered something from your safe anger menu and used words, movement or support when anger appeared.
00:35:20.869 --> 00:35:23.030
But we're all still learning.
00:35:23.429 --> 00:35:26.469
Sometimes anger gets the better of us.
00:35:27.030 --> 00:35:32.469
We might shout, say something hurtful, or do something we wish we hadn't.
00:35:32.949 --> 00:35:36.389
So today we're exploring what happens next.
00:35:36.949 --> 00:35:38.550
Making things right.
00:35:39.670 --> 00:35:47.190
By the end of this episode, you'll understand that making a mistake when you're angry doesn't have to be the end of the story.
00:35:47.510 --> 00:35:52.869
We can take responsibility, repair what we can, and learn for next time.
00:35:53.510 --> 00:35:54.630
Let's begin.
00:35:54.869 --> 00:36:02.230
Have you ever calmed down after being angry and thought, oh, I wish I hadn't done that.
00:36:02.949 --> 00:36:10.789
Maybe you shouted at someone, said something unkind, snatched something, or blamed somebody.
00:36:11.110 --> 00:36:15.110
We can't rewind time and make an action disappear.
00:36:15.349 --> 00:36:18.150
But we can decide what happens afterwards.
00:36:18.469 --> 00:36:22.710
Making things right begins with being honest about what we did.
00:36:23.269 --> 00:36:27.590
It means taking responsibility without making excuses.
00:36:28.469 --> 00:36:31.510
Then we can think about how to repair the situation.
00:36:31.750 --> 00:36:39.429
An apology can be part of that, but sometimes making things right means doing something too.
00:36:39.909 --> 00:36:43.030
Let's hear about someone who discovered the difference.
00:36:43.510 --> 00:36:46.869
Ayan and his friend Leo were drawing together.
00:36:47.190 --> 00:36:51.750
Leo accidentally knocked Ayan's pencils onto the floor.
00:36:52.070 --> 00:36:55.190
Ayan was already feeling frustrated.
00:36:55.909 --> 00:36:58.869
Why do you always ruin everything?
00:36:59.190 --> 00:37:00.389
he shouted.
00:37:01.269 --> 00:37:05.750
Then in anger he grabbed the picture Leo had been drawing.
00:37:06.070 --> 00:37:09.269
Rip the corner tore.
00:37:10.150 --> 00:37:12.630
Leo stared at his picture.
00:37:12.949 --> 00:37:15.269
Then he quietly walked away.
00:37:16.070 --> 00:37:20.630
A few minutes later, Ayan's anger began to settle.
00:37:21.190 --> 00:37:23.190
He looked at the torn paper.
00:37:23.429 --> 00:37:25.429
His tummy felt heavy.
00:37:25.750 --> 00:37:28.070
Ayan found his teacher.
00:37:28.550 --> 00:37:31.989
I did something when I was angry, he admitted.
00:37:32.230 --> 00:37:34.949
Together they talked about what had happened.
00:37:35.269 --> 00:37:43.590
Ayan realized that although Leo had knocked over the pencils by accident, tearing the picture had been his choice.
00:37:44.150 --> 00:37:45.670
He found Leo.
00:37:46.469 --> 00:37:49.829
I'm sorry I tore your picture, Ayan said.
00:37:50.150 --> 00:37:53.030
I was angry, but I shouldn't have done that.
00:37:53.670 --> 00:37:55.590
Leo was still upset.
00:37:55.909 --> 00:37:59.989
Ayan wanted everything to feel better immediately.
00:38:00.389 --> 00:38:07.110
But his teacher had explained that saying sorry doesn't mean somebody has to stop feeling hurt straight away.
00:38:07.670 --> 00:38:11.510
So Ayan asked, Can I help fix it?
00:38:11.989 --> 00:38:15.510
Together they carefully taped the torn corner.
00:38:16.309 --> 00:38:19.269
Ayan couldn't undo what he had done.
00:38:20.150 --> 00:38:27.750
But he could take responsibility, try to repair the damage, and think about what he would do differently next time.
00:38:28.389 --> 00:38:32.070
What do you think Ayan learned about making things right?
00:38:32.389 --> 00:38:37.670
Just like Ayan, we can make things right after anger leads to a poor choice.
00:38:38.070 --> 00:38:39.829
Here are three steps.
00:38:40.309 --> 00:38:42.550
One, recognize.
00:38:42.869 --> 00:38:44.949
Be honest about what happened.
00:38:45.269 --> 00:38:49.989
Try saying I did that and it wasn't okay.
00:38:50.469 --> 00:38:57.349
Being angry can explain why we acted, but it doesn't make an unsafe or hurtful action okay.
00:38:58.070 --> 00:38:59.989
two repair.
00:39:00.230 --> 00:39:03.670
Ask what can I do to make this better?
00:39:04.150 --> 00:39:12.630
Perhaps you need to apologize, fix something, replace something, or give somebody time and space.
00:39:13.269 --> 00:39:16.949
A real apology is more than saying the word sorry.
00:39:17.670 --> 00:39:22.150
It's showing that we understand our actions affected someone else.
00:39:22.630 --> 00:39:27.909
Three, learn, ask, what could I do differently next time?
00:39:29.030 --> 00:39:32.550
Maybe you'll notice your anger signals earlier.
00:39:32.949 --> 00:39:39.909
Use stop, breathe, choose, step away or ask an adult for help.
00:39:40.230 --> 00:39:42.710
Every mistake can teach us something.
00:39:42.949 --> 00:39:45.030
Let's imagine a little bridge.
00:39:45.349 --> 00:39:48.550
On one side is what happened?
00:39:48.949 --> 00:39:53.590
On the other side is making things better.
00:39:54.150 --> 00:39:57.030
To cross the bridge we need three steps.
00:39:57.349 --> 00:40:01.110
First, recognize what did I do?
00:40:01.829 --> 00:40:04.469
Second repair.
00:40:04.949 --> 00:40:07.510
What could I do to help put things right?
00:40:08.230 --> 00:40:10.550
Third learn.
00:40:10.869 --> 00:40:13.190
What will I try next time?
00:40:14.710 --> 00:40:17.110
Remember those three words.
00:40:17.909 --> 00:40:22.309
Recognize repair learn.
00:40:22.949 --> 00:40:26.150
They can help us cross back towards connection.
00:40:26.630 --> 00:40:32.550
You've done such important work today and throughout our whole understanding anger series.
00:40:33.030 --> 00:40:35.349
Let's remember what we have learned.
00:40:35.909 --> 00:40:38.389
Anger is a normal emotion.
00:40:38.710 --> 00:40:41.670
Our bodies can warn us when it's growing.
00:40:41.989 --> 00:40:46.630
We can look underneath anger to understand what it might be telling us.
00:40:46.949 --> 00:40:49.190
We can pause before acting.
00:40:49.510 --> 00:40:52.070
We can express anger safely.
00:40:52.469 --> 00:40:58.550
And if we make a poor choice, we can recognise, repair, and learn.
00:40:59.030 --> 00:41:03.269
Here's your final mindful moment challenge for this series.
00:41:03.909 --> 00:41:08.550
If you make a mistake because you're angry, don't hide from it.
00:41:08.869 --> 00:41:11.190
When you're calm, ask.
00:41:14.789 --> 00:41:18.230
Then think about what you'll try differently next time.
00:41:18.869 --> 00:41:21.829
Thank you for joining me throughout series 16.
00:41:22.469 --> 00:41:24.230
Understanding anger.
00:41:24.949 --> 00:41:27.110
Keep noticing your anger.
00:41:27.429 --> 00:41:29.829
Keep choosing what you do with it.
00:41:30.309 --> 00:41:33.030
Keep learning when things go wrong.
00:41:33.590 --> 00:41:38.469
And as always, keep shining bright.
