WEBVTT
00:00:00.400 --> 00:00:01.199
Good day.
00:00:01.360 --> 00:00:01.919
This is Dr.
00:00:02.080 --> 00:00:04.799
Janet Priceharps from Mindpilot.
00:00:11.199 --> 00:00:18.559
Today we're going to talk about how you as a first responder or veteran connect with others.
00:00:18.879 --> 00:00:37.039
This may seem like a strange topic of conversation, but what I have found is so often first responders and veterans connect over the hatred of something, whether it's the department, each other, the commander, the captain, whatever.
00:00:37.280 --> 00:00:43.840
And they spend a lot of time talking about I hate this person, I hate this person, I hate this, I hate this.
00:00:44.079 --> 00:00:56.320
And every time they do that, they get a little more adrenalized, they get a little more irritable, and they get a little more, I don't know, aggressive when they get home.
00:00:56.560 --> 00:00:59.439
So here's the scenario I often see.
00:00:59.840 --> 00:01:16.560
Somebody is, I don't know, they're getting ready for a briefing or they're, you know, getting ready to start a shift, and they're all standing around and they start talking trash about whoever is their favorite person to talk trash about today.
00:01:16.879 --> 00:01:21.680
And then they go from that person to another person and then they go, yeah, that was a bunch of crap.
00:01:21.840 --> 00:01:24.480
And then they go over here and they talk about crap there.
00:01:24.560 --> 00:01:28.239
And so now they're really, really adrenalized.
00:01:28.319 --> 00:01:35.599
And a lot of times they're doing that because they're at work and they're used to being adrenalized.
00:01:35.840 --> 00:01:47.599
But then they drive home, and on their drive home, they call their best friend who also works at the agency or the department or whatever you're working at, and they start it all over.
00:01:47.760 --> 00:01:48.879
Did you see what happened?
00:01:48.959 --> 00:01:50.799
And that's this and that's that.
00:01:50.959 --> 00:02:00.239
And now they walk into the house after they get done with that conversation, and they're angry, they're irritable.
00:02:00.480 --> 00:02:04.719
And their spouse says something like, Hey, what would you like for dinner?
00:02:04.879 --> 00:02:05.280
I don't care.
00:02:05.359 --> 00:02:06.560
Why don't you just figure it out?
00:02:06.640 --> 00:02:08.240
I don't want to make any more damn decisions.
00:02:08.319 --> 00:02:10.479
How come I always have to make the decisions?
00:02:10.800 --> 00:02:15.360
And the spouse is going, okay, all right, well, maybe I'll get takeout.
00:02:15.520 --> 00:02:26.639
I don't know, you know, and not understanding what is going on with you, but are you paying attention to what is going on with you?
00:02:26.960 --> 00:02:31.439
Are you paying attention to what your focus is?
00:02:32.000 --> 00:02:35.120
And especially when you're friends, what are you talking about?
00:02:35.360 --> 00:02:37.520
Are you talking about fun times?
00:02:37.680 --> 00:02:40.080
Or are you talking about what you're ticked off about?
00:02:40.319 --> 00:02:43.520
Are you talking about things you can do in the future that'll be fun?
00:02:43.759 --> 00:02:45.280
Maybe it'll go for wheeling.
00:02:45.439 --> 00:02:49.599
I don't know what you like to do for fun, or are you just talking trash?
00:02:49.840 --> 00:02:58.400
And the more people talk trash, the more amped up they get, the more adrenaline and cortisol they release, and then the more they look around for the threat.
00:02:58.560 --> 00:03:07.759
And so if you walk into the house and you just have one of those conversations, you're gonna look around for what's wrong because that's what adrenaline tells your brain to do.
00:03:08.000 --> 00:03:11.439
It tells your brain to look around for what's the problem.
00:03:11.919 --> 00:03:14.800
And if there isn't a problem, you're going to create it.
00:03:15.039 --> 00:03:24.400
You're gonna be mad that, I don't know, the dishes aren't done, the floor isn't swept, the kids' toys are on the floor, who knows?
00:03:24.639 --> 00:03:28.400
But you're going to find something that irritates you.
00:03:28.879 --> 00:03:35.520
So I really want you to think about how you can change that dynamic wherever you work.
00:03:35.919 --> 00:03:38.800
You don't have to be a first responder for this to happen.
00:03:38.960 --> 00:03:52.800
This is a common place throughout, no matter where you work, but it is especially prevalent with first responders because you're in jobs that are constantly telling your system to release adrenaline and cortisol.
00:03:52.960 --> 00:04:02.159
So if you have some downtime, there's a tendency for your system to grab on to whatever it perceives a problem at the moment.
00:04:02.639 --> 00:04:05.759
And so be aware of that.
00:04:06.080 --> 00:04:14.159
And if you're at a station or you're at the department and somebody wants to start that kind of dialogue, change the topic.
00:04:14.400 --> 00:04:19.519
Say, hey, by the way, what are you guys doing for, you know, this or for that?
00:04:19.680 --> 00:04:21.680
Do you have Fourth of July off?
00:04:21.759 --> 00:04:22.959
What are you doing for that?
00:04:23.120 --> 00:04:33.360
It doesn't have to be anything big, but think about how you can change it without being obnoxious, without, you know, making the other person mad.
00:04:34.319 --> 00:04:42.959
But it also starts to become much more protective of your brain and your level of adrenaline and cortisol.
00:04:43.600 --> 00:04:49.759
You can change the culture of your shift by changing what you talk about.
00:04:50.480 --> 00:04:55.040
But you've got to make a step forward in that.
00:04:55.199 --> 00:04:59.439
You don't have to sit them all down and say, okay, now we're going to have positive self-talk, right?
00:04:59.680 --> 00:05:01.519
Everybody's going to roll their eyes at you.
00:05:01.680 --> 00:05:03.040
That is what I'm talking about.
00:05:03.199 --> 00:05:05.040
But you can change the topic.
00:05:05.360 --> 00:05:08.959
You can start thinking about some topics that you can bring up.
00:05:09.279 --> 00:05:17.040
You can think about if you have a TV going on at the station, you can think about what you put the TV on, right?
00:05:17.199 --> 00:05:26.160
Are you going to just have it on the news stations, whatever news station, and everybody's getting matter and matter and matter, because that's how news sells?
00:05:26.480 --> 00:05:32.399
Or are you going to have something that's funny, some kind of comedy, something that is relaxing?
00:05:32.959 --> 00:05:34.079
Is there music?
00:05:34.240 --> 00:05:39.040
You know, is it, you know, heavy metal that tends to amp people up?
00:05:39.360 --> 00:05:42.800
Or is it some kind of music that tends to calm people down?
00:05:43.120 --> 00:05:46.079
I know you like the feeling of being amped up.
00:05:46.399 --> 00:05:54.560
And maybe there are times that you need that, but maybe there are times when you need to give your body a rest and let it cool down.
00:05:54.959 --> 00:05:58.879
You get to choose what your body's doing and where it's going.
00:05:59.279 --> 00:06:01.519
But it's got to be a conscious choice.
00:06:01.759 --> 00:06:09.439
So if you're getting a lot of feedback from your family that every time you come home or you're getting ready for work, why are you so angry?
00:06:09.600 --> 00:06:10.560
What's the matter with you?
00:06:10.639 --> 00:06:12.319
Why are you always yelling?
00:06:12.879 --> 00:06:17.120
Instead of just saying to them, I'm not yelling, what's the matter with you?
00:06:17.439 --> 00:06:19.120
Maybe you go, hmm.
00:06:20.319 --> 00:06:22.480
Maybe I'm running hot.
00:06:23.279 --> 00:06:27.199
Maybe I have a little bit too much adrenaline and cortisol in my system.
00:06:27.439 --> 00:06:31.120
What can I do right now to calm my system down?
00:06:32.240 --> 00:06:34.879
So think about what you talk about with your friends.
00:06:35.120 --> 00:06:37.439
Think about how to change the dialogue.
00:06:37.600 --> 00:06:40.480
Think about how hot or how cool you're running.
00:06:40.639 --> 00:06:44.800
And if you're running too hot, make a plan to change it.
00:06:45.120 --> 00:06:46.399
Hope this was helpful.
00:06:46.560 --> 00:06:48.240
I hope you have a wonderful day.
00:06:48.480 --> 00:06:50.879
Remember, you have the right to be happy.
00:06:51.120 --> 00:06:53.600
You have the right to take care of yourself.
00:06:54.079 --> 00:06:55.360
Thanks for joining.
00:06:55.519 --> 00:06:56.480
Take care.
00:00:00.400 --> 00:00:01.199
Good day.
00:00:01.360 --> 00:00:01.919
This is Dr.
00:00:02.080 --> 00:00:04.799
Janet Priceharps from Mindpilot.
00:00:11.199 --> 00:00:18.559
Today we're going to talk about how you as a first responder or veteran connect with others.
00:00:18.879 --> 00:00:37.039
This may seem like a strange topic of conversation, but what I have found is so often first responders and veterans connect over the hatred of something, whether it's the department, each other, the commander, the captain, whatever.
00:00:37.280 --> 00:00:43.840
And they spend a lot of time talking about I hate this person, I hate this person, I hate this, I hate this.
00:00:44.079 --> 00:00:56.320
And every time they do that, they get a little more adrenalized, they get a little more irritable, and they get a little more, I don't know, aggressive when they get home.
00:00:56.560 --> 00:00:59.439
So here's the scenario I often see.
00:00:59.840 --> 00:01:16.560
Somebody is, I don't know, they're getting ready for a briefing or they're, you know, getting ready to start a shift, and they're all standing around and they start talking trash about whoever is their favorite person to talk trash about today.
00:01:16.879 --> 00:01:21.680
And then they go from that person to another person and then they go, yeah, that was a bunch of crap.
00:01:21.840 --> 00:01:24.480
And then they go over here and they talk about crap there.
00:01:24.560 --> 00:01:28.239
And so now they're really, really adrenalized.
00:01:28.319 --> 00:01:35.599
And a lot of times they're doing that because they're at work and they're used to being adrenalized.
00:01:35.840 --> 00:01:47.599
But then they drive home, and on their drive home, they call their best friend who also works at the agency or the department or whatever you're working at, and they start it all over.
00:01:47.760 --> 00:01:48.879
Did you see what happened?
00:01:48.959 --> 00:01:50.799
And that's this and that's that.
00:01:50.959 --> 00:02:00.239
And now they walk into the house after they get done with that conversation, and they're angry, they're irritable.
00:02:00.480 --> 00:02:04.719
And their spouse says something like, Hey, what would you like for dinner?
00:02:04.879 --> 00:02:05.280
I don't care.
00:02:05.359 --> 00:02:06.560
Why don't you just figure it out?
00:02:06.640 --> 00:02:08.240
I don't want to make any more damn decisions.
00:02:08.319 --> 00:02:10.479
How come I always have to make the decisions?
00:02:10.800 --> 00:02:15.360
And the spouse is going, okay, all right, well, maybe I'll get takeout.
00:02:15.520 --> 00:02:26.639
I don't know, you know, and not understanding what is going on with you, but are you paying attention to what is going on with you?
00:02:26.960 --> 00:02:31.439
Are you paying attention to what your focus is?
00:02:32.000 --> 00:02:35.120
And especially when you're friends, what are you talking about?
00:02:35.360 --> 00:02:37.520
Are you talking about fun times?
00:02:37.680 --> 00:02:40.080
Or are you talking about what you're ticked off about?
00:02:40.319 --> 00:02:43.520
Are you talking about things you can do in the future that'll be fun?
00:02:43.759 --> 00:02:45.280
Maybe it'll go for wheeling.
00:02:45.439 --> 00:02:49.599
I don't know what you like to do for fun, or are you just talking trash?
00:02:49.840 --> 00:02:58.400
And the more people talk trash, the more amped up they get, the more adrenaline and cortisol they release, and then the more they look around for the threat.
00:02:58.560 --> 00:03:07.759
And so if you walk into the house and you just have one of those conversations, you're gonna look around for what's wrong because that's what adrenaline tells your brain to do.
00:03:08.000 --> 00:03:11.439
It tells your brain to look around for what's the problem.
00:03:11.919 --> 00:03:14.800
And if there isn't a problem, you're going to create it.
00:03:15.039 --> 00:03:24.400
You're gonna be mad that, I don't know, the dishes aren't done, the floor isn't swept, the kids' toys are on the floor, who knows?
00:03:24.639 --> 00:03:28.400
But you're going to find something that irritates you.
00:03:28.879 --> 00:03:35.520
So I really want you to think about how you can change that dynamic wherever you work.
00:03:35.919 --> 00:03:38.800
You don't have to be a first responder for this to happen.
00:03:38.960 --> 00:03:52.800
This is a common place throughout, no matter where you work, but it is especially prevalent with first responders because you're in jobs that are constantly telling your system to release adrenaline and cortisol.
00:03:52.960 --> 00:04:02.159
So if you have some downtime, there's a tendency for your system to grab on to whatever it perceives a problem at the moment.
00:04:02.639 --> 00:04:05.759
And so be aware of that.
00:04:06.080 --> 00:04:14.159
And if you're at a station or you're at the department and somebody wants to start that kind of dialogue, change the topic.
00:04:14.400 --> 00:04:19.519
Say, hey, by the way, what are you guys doing for, you know, this or for that?
00:04:19.680 --> 00:04:21.680
Do you have Fourth of July off?
00:04:21.759 --> 00:04:22.959
What are you doing for that?
00:04:23.120 --> 00:04:33.360
It doesn't have to be anything big, but think about how you can change it without being obnoxious, without, you know, making the other person mad.
00:04:34.319 --> 00:04:42.959
But it also starts to become much more protective of your brain and your level of adrenaline and cortisol.
00:04:43.600 --> 00:04:49.759
You can change the culture of your shift by changing what you talk about.
00:04:50.480 --> 00:04:55.040
But you've got to make a step forward in that.
00:04:55.199 --> 00:04:59.439
You don't have to sit them all down and say, okay, now we're going to have positive self-talk, right?
00:04:59.680 --> 00:05:01.519
Everybody's going to roll their eyes at you.
00:05:01.680 --> 00:05:03.040
That is what I'm talking about.
00:05:03.199 --> 00:05:05.040
But you can change the topic.
00:05:05.360 --> 00:05:08.959
You can start thinking about some topics that you can bring up.
00:05:09.279 --> 00:05:17.040
You can think about if you have a TV going on at the station, you can think about what you put the TV on, right?
00:05:17.199 --> 00:05:26.160
Are you going to just have it on the news stations, whatever news station, and everybody's getting matter and matter and matter, because that's how news sells?
00:05:26.480 --> 00:05:32.399
Or are you going to have something that's funny, some kind of comedy, something that is relaxing?
00:05:32.959 --> 00:05:34.079
Is there music?
00:05:34.240 --> 00:05:39.040
You know, is it, you know, heavy metal that tends to amp people up?
00:05:39.360 --> 00:05:42.800
Or is it some kind of music that tends to calm people down?
00:05:43.120 --> 00:05:46.079
I know you like the feeling of being amped up.
00:05:46.399 --> 00:05:54.560
And maybe there are times that you need that, but maybe there are times when you need to give your body a rest and let it cool down.
00:05:54.959 --> 00:05:58.879
You get to choose what your body's doing and where it's going.
00:05:59.279 --> 00:06:01.519
But it's got to be a conscious choice.
00:06:01.759 --> 00:06:09.439
So if you're getting a lot of feedback from your family that every time you come home or you're getting ready for work, why are you so angry?
00:06:09.600 --> 00:06:10.560
What's the matter with you?
00:06:10.639 --> 00:06:12.319
Why are you always yelling?
00:06:12.879 --> 00:06:17.120
Instead of just saying to them, I'm not yelling, what's the matter with you?
00:06:17.439 --> 00:06:19.120
Maybe you go, hmm.
00:06:20.319 --> 00:06:22.480
Maybe I'm running hot.
00:06:23.279 --> 00:06:27.199
Maybe I have a little bit too much adrenaline and cortisol in my system.
00:06:27.439 --> 00:06:31.120
What can I do right now to calm my system down?
00:06:32.240 --> 00:06:34.879
So think about what you talk about with your friends.
00:06:35.120 --> 00:06:37.439
Think about how to change the dialogue.
00:06:37.600 --> 00:06:40.480
Think about how hot or how cool you're running.
00:06:40.639 --> 00:06:44.800
And if you're running too hot, make a plan to change it.
00:06:45.120 --> 00:06:46.399
Hope this was helpful.
00:06:46.560 --> 00:06:48.240
I hope you have a wonderful day.
00:06:48.480 --> 00:06:50.879
Remember, you have the right to be happy.
00:06:51.120 --> 00:06:53.600
You have the right to take care of yourself.
00:06:54.079 --> 00:06:55.360
Thanks for joining.
00:06:55.519 --> 00:06:56.480
Take care.
