WEBVTT
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A few days ago, a meteor crash -landed smack
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in the middle of the Bokker's parking lot. Of
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course, Adam, Zoe, and me went to check it out
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because, well, what else are you going to do
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when space debris comes falling from the sky?
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But here's the kicker. It wasn't just a hunk
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of rock. No, out from that meteor came a talking
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chicken. Yeah, you heard that right. He introduced
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himself as Commander Serap. claiming to be part
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of some intergalactic group of universal protectors,
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and he didn't waste time getting to the weird
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part either. He looked straight at me and said
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I was one of the chosen ones. According to him,
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the fate of the universe is hanging by a thread,
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and for some bizarre reason, we're the ones expected
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to save it. But with music. Yep, still trying
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to wrap my head around that one. I know it all
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sounds ridiculous, but I kind of want to believe
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him. I mean, how many chances do you get to talk
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to a sentient alien, or talking chicken for that
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matter? Maybe it is crazy, but I kind of feel
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hopeful. Like this could be my shot. Everybody
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wants to leave their mark on the world, right?
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Everyone wants their life to mean something.
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Maybe this is the moment I've been waiting for.
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The one where I finally get the chance to do
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something big. Something that matters. I'm supposed
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to save the universe? I never asked for that
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responsibility. Of all the people in the world,
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why was someone like me chosen? I'm nothing special.
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If I'm being honest, I'm probably below average
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in every area of my life. I guess it's kind of
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funny when you think about it. The fate of the
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universe in the hands of a guy like that? It's
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not like I'm some prodigy destined for greatness.
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I'm just a fry cook at Bawker's. Half the time
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I'm just coasting by, trying not to mess things
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up too badly, and now I'm supposed to be some
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cosmic savior? It's the kind of thing you'd see
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in a movie. Except this time it's real. And I
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have no idea what I'm doing. Did Seraph really
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pick the right guy for the job? What does he
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even see in me? I've got no skills, no ambitions.
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If anything, I'm the least qualified person to
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be thrown into this whole saving the universe
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situation. There's gotta be someone out there
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more capable. Whatever, you know what? I'm done
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stressing. Freaking out isn't gonna help, and
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worrying won't make me any more prepared for
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this mess. We'll get there when we get there.
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Saving the universe can wait for a little bit
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longer, right? It's kind of crazy how fast this
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year's gone by. I used to just spend days at
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home until the boys came along. Sure, people
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might call that coasting. But, you know, I don't
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mind it one bit. Besides, none of that matters
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now because I'm having so much fun. Kai can be
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a bit serious, but you know deep down he's looking
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out for us. And there's Adam, who makes me laugh
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with his weird jokes. Every day feels like an
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adventure. I didn't even know I wanted. Oh, and
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if that wasn't enough, we even found a new friend,
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too. He's so tiny and fuzzy and has the funniest
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little temper. But somehow, even with that attitude,
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he fits right in with us. Sometimes it all feels
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unreal. Having friends who are there every moment.
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It all happened so fast, I can barely catch my
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breath. I wonder if we'll always stay this way.
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I really hope so. I wish I could just freeze
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times like this and keep them forever, just as
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they are. I find myself up to my ass in a sea
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of cerebrally challenged individuals. This planet
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is a vacuum of self -awareness, where nobody
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knows how to express their feelings to one another.
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They all lie to themselves and spend their days
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lonely, even as they are surrounded by their
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friends and family. I'd say that pond scum could
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have chosen a better planet, but I know that's
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insubordination, so I will refrain. For now,
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I'll assess the situation on the ground. I've
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chosen three humans with unassuming personalities,
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but more baggage than an airport. For future
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mission logs, I will refer to them exclusively
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as Tryhard, Greaseball, and Headrest. My only
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solace is the knowledge that I am not the only
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one scraping this barrel. With hundreds of Nori
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scouting for talent, there's bound to be something
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worth salvaging on this ball of dirt. Commander
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Serap signing off. Maybe his loyalty lies elsewhere,
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and he works toward a goal that's more sinister.
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I can picture his smug face right now, satisfied
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that nobody has proof. Well, I won't stand for
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it. I will find out what Plump W is, and when
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I do, I will use everything in my power to stifle
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your progress. You mark my words, Commander.
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In the meantime, the one million in one year
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cycle has passed. and we've been sent to a new
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planet to scout for potential candidates. The
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three chosen that I've selected have already
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awakened their powers. At the very least, I'm
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confident that they have what it takes to beat
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whatever rubbish he gathers together. Met an
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alien the other day. I thought I was buggin',
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but I started playing with its wings and stuff,
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and it bit me on the tricep. At first, I thought
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I'd turn into an alien, but then I remembered
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that's werewolf rules. So, yeah. I'm still a
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humanoid. The alien did give me powers, though.
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If I flare my nostrils and flex my thigh muscles
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as hard as I can, it summons a drum set out of
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thin air. For it to appear, I also have to think
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about how bad I don't want people to get mad
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at me. And that I'm super worried about disappointing
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my friends. But I think it's mostly because of
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my thighs. I'm pretty stoked about it, though.
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I'm ready to do my part. In the beginning, I
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was all worried it'd be a big deal and stuff.
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Like, I felt this crushing weight of responsibility.
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But you kind of get over it after a while. Like
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it wears off easy. It's chill. Nothing the L
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-Dog can't handle. Do you know what it's like
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to be on top? Well, it's not just about stardom.
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It's walking into a room and knowing every head
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will turn. It's about having that special something
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that makes you impossible to ignore. When I wake
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up, the first thing I see is my name blowing
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up. Hundreds of comments, new followers, brands
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begging to work with me. Oh sure, I have my haters
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and they say some horrible things about me. But
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the one word they'll never use is forgettable.
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That's because my beauty and charisma are undeniable.
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They're jealous. And who can blame them? I'm
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everything they wish I could be. Some people
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pretend not to know this because it intimidates
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them, but the cold, hard truth is that in this
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world, looks are what matter most. Well, it's
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only natural that I'm one of the chosen. I mean,
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I was barely even surprised when I found out.
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I don't need to be told to know I'm special,
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because I see it every single time I look in
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the mirror. Cosmic powers. Interesting. These
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are definitely something new. I'll figure out
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the best way to put them to use. Whatever happens,
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though, I won't let it go to my head. Last week,
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I encountered a cosmic being that granted me
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the ability to literally warp reality through
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music. But as it turns out, I'm not the only
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one. Hundreds of others, including Kai, stumbled
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upon this same deal. His own pet. his own powers,
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and apparently the same mission. But here's what
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bothers me. Why so many of us? It diminishes
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our strength, stifles our capacity to make the
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hard calls and do what needs to be done. And
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frankly, having someone like Kai thrown into
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the mix? That kind of unpredictability is our
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fast track to ruin. No, I'm starting to see the
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big picture. It's not enough to simply play along
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on some grand mission. We can't risk leaving
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our fate in idle hands. I'll take charge. That's
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the only way we'll ensure our survival. Do you
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know who you are? I mean, truly? Humor me for
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just a moment. I want to know if you've ever
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found yourself in a situation where you ended
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up behaving differently than you thought you
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would. You might have imagined yourself as somebody
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who could handle a crisis, but when faced with
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unexpected chaos, you found yourself paralyzed,
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unable to take action. Perhaps you never imagined
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you could hurt the people you love most, but
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got overwhelmed and lashed out at one of them
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in a moment of weakness. What do you do with
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the things you're most ashamed of? Do you bury
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them away where they can't be found, or wear
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them on your sleeve? And why do you think that
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is? Your mind has created a story for itself
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about who you are and what you want. A pretty
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lie that allows you to carry on. It's just basic
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self -preservation. Who wants to think of themselves
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as a bad person? As irredeemable? We all intuitively
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know that such people exist. But not you, right?
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Oh no, never you. Well, it's just a thought.
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A few days ago, a meteor crash -landed smack
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in the middle of the Bokker's parking lot. Of
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course, Adam, Zoe, and me went to check it out
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because, well, what else are you going to do
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when space debris comes falling from the sky?
00:00:13.220 --> 00:00:16.000
But here's the kicker. It wasn't just a hunk
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of rock. No, out from that meteor came a talking
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chicken. Yeah, you heard that right. He introduced
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himself as Commander Serap. claiming to be part
00:00:27.410 --> 00:00:30.410
of some intergalactic group of universal protectors,
00:00:30.510 --> 00:00:32.530
and he didn't waste time getting to the weird
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part either. He looked straight at me and said
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I was one of the chosen ones. According to him,
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the fate of the universe is hanging by a thread,
00:00:41.130 --> 00:00:43.890
and for some bizarre reason, we're the ones expected
00:00:43.890 --> 00:00:49.750
to save it. But with music. Yep, still trying
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to wrap my head around that one. I know it all
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sounds ridiculous, but I kind of want to believe
00:00:55.070 --> 00:00:57.920
him. I mean, how many chances do you get to talk
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to a sentient alien, or talking chicken for that
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matter? Maybe it is crazy, but I kind of feel
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hopeful. Like this could be my shot. Everybody
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wants to leave their mark on the world, right?
00:01:12.120 --> 00:01:14.040
Everyone wants their life to mean something.
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Maybe this is the moment I've been waiting for.
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The one where I finally get the chance to do
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something big. Something that matters. I'm supposed
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to save the universe? I never asked for that
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responsibility. Of all the people in the world,
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why was someone like me chosen? I'm nothing special.
00:01:35.709 --> 00:01:38.650
If I'm being honest, I'm probably below average
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in every area of my life. I guess it's kind of
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funny when you think about it. The fate of the
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universe in the hands of a guy like that? It's
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not like I'm some prodigy destined for greatness.
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I'm just a fry cook at Bawker's. Half the time
00:01:55.489 --> 00:01:58.129
I'm just coasting by, trying not to mess things
00:01:58.129 --> 00:02:00.989
up too badly, and now I'm supposed to be some
00:02:00.989 --> 00:02:04.170
cosmic savior? It's the kind of thing you'd see
00:02:04.170 --> 00:02:08.150
in a movie. Except this time it's real. And I
00:02:08.150 --> 00:02:11.729
have no idea what I'm doing. Did Seraph really
00:02:11.729 --> 00:02:14.539
pick the right guy for the job? What does he
00:02:14.539 --> 00:02:18.020
even see in me? I've got no skills, no ambitions.
00:02:18.659 --> 00:02:21.580
If anything, I'm the least qualified person to
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be thrown into this whole saving the universe
00:02:23.740 --> 00:02:26.840
situation. There's gotta be someone out there
00:02:26.840 --> 00:02:32.099
more capable. Whatever, you know what? I'm done
00:02:32.099 --> 00:02:35.259
stressing. Freaking out isn't gonna help, and
00:02:35.259 --> 00:02:37.520
worrying won't make me any more prepared for
00:02:37.520 --> 00:02:40.120
this mess. We'll get there when we get there.
00:02:40.680 --> 00:02:42.520
Saving the universe can wait for a little bit
00:02:42.520 --> 00:02:48.539
longer, right? It's kind of crazy how fast this
00:02:48.539 --> 00:02:51.680
year's gone by. I used to just spend days at
00:02:51.680 --> 00:02:54.759
home until the boys came along. Sure, people
00:02:54.759 --> 00:02:58.560
might call that coasting. But, you know, I don't
00:02:58.560 --> 00:03:01.580
mind it one bit. Besides, none of that matters
00:03:01.580 --> 00:03:04.719
now because I'm having so much fun. Kai can be
00:03:04.719 --> 00:03:07.099
a bit serious, but you know deep down he's looking
00:03:07.099 --> 00:03:09.780
out for us. And there's Adam, who makes me laugh
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with his weird jokes. Every day feels like an
00:03:12.699 --> 00:03:15.620
adventure. I didn't even know I wanted. Oh, and
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if that wasn't enough, we even found a new friend,
00:03:17.960 --> 00:03:21.939
too. He's so tiny and fuzzy and has the funniest
00:03:21.939 --> 00:03:25.120
little temper. But somehow, even with that attitude,
00:03:25.400 --> 00:03:29.900
he fits right in with us. Sometimes it all feels
00:03:29.900 --> 00:03:35.039
unreal. Having friends who are there every moment.
00:03:36.060 --> 00:03:38.659
It all happened so fast, I can barely catch my
00:03:38.659 --> 00:03:42.180
breath. I wonder if we'll always stay this way.
00:03:43.300 --> 00:03:47.000
I really hope so. I wish I could just freeze
00:03:47.000 --> 00:03:49.819
times like this and keep them forever, just as
00:03:49.819 --> 00:04:05.490
they are. I find myself up to my ass in a sea
00:04:05.490 --> 00:04:08.810
of cerebrally challenged individuals. This planet
00:04:08.810 --> 00:04:11.530
is a vacuum of self -awareness, where nobody
00:04:11.530 --> 00:04:14.069
knows how to express their feelings to one another.
00:04:14.330 --> 00:04:17.149
They all lie to themselves and spend their days
00:04:17.149 --> 00:04:19.629
lonely, even as they are surrounded by their
00:04:19.629 --> 00:04:23.050
friends and family. I'd say that pond scum could
00:04:23.050 --> 00:04:25.410
have chosen a better planet, but I know that's
00:04:25.410 --> 00:04:28.680
insubordination, so I will refrain. For now,
00:04:28.860 --> 00:04:31.519
I'll assess the situation on the ground. I've
00:04:31.519 --> 00:04:34.300
chosen three humans with unassuming personalities,
00:04:34.779 --> 00:04:38.399
but more baggage than an airport. For future
00:04:38.399 --> 00:04:40.740
mission logs, I will refer to them exclusively
00:04:40.740 --> 00:04:45.279
as Tryhard, Greaseball, and Headrest. My only
00:04:45.279 --> 00:04:47.759
solace is the knowledge that I am not the only
00:04:47.759 --> 00:04:51.220
one scraping this barrel. With hundreds of Nori
00:04:51.220 --> 00:04:53.519
scouting for talent, there's bound to be something
00:04:53.519 --> 00:04:57.040
worth salvaging on this ball of dirt. Commander
00:04:57.040 --> 00:05:26.990
Serap signing off. Maybe his loyalty lies elsewhere,
00:05:27.129 --> 00:05:29.449
and he works toward a goal that's more sinister.
00:05:30.769 --> 00:05:34.370
I can picture his smug face right now, satisfied
00:05:34.370 --> 00:05:37.810
that nobody has proof. Well, I won't stand for
00:05:37.810 --> 00:05:40.790
it. I will find out what Plump W is, and when
00:05:40.790 --> 00:05:43.990
I do, I will use everything in my power to stifle
00:05:43.990 --> 00:05:46.670
your progress. You mark my words, Commander.
00:05:47.709 --> 00:05:50.730
In the meantime, the one million in one year
00:05:50.730 --> 00:05:53.439
cycle has passed. and we've been sent to a new
00:05:53.439 --> 00:05:56.079
planet to scout for potential candidates. The
00:05:56.079 --> 00:05:58.040
three chosen that I've selected have already
00:05:58.040 --> 00:06:00.959
awakened their powers. At the very least, I'm
00:06:00.959 --> 00:06:02.819
confident that they have what it takes to beat
00:06:02.819 --> 00:06:07.259
whatever rubbish he gathers together. Met an
00:06:07.259 --> 00:06:10.139
alien the other day. I thought I was buggin',
00:06:10.139 --> 00:06:12.480
but I started playing with its wings and stuff,
00:06:12.639 --> 00:06:15.860
and it bit me on the tricep. At first, I thought
00:06:15.860 --> 00:06:18.579
I'd turn into an alien, but then I remembered
00:06:18.579 --> 00:06:22.259
that's werewolf rules. So, yeah. I'm still a
00:06:22.259 --> 00:06:25.100
humanoid. The alien did give me powers, though.
00:06:25.560 --> 00:06:28.879
If I flare my nostrils and flex my thigh muscles
00:06:28.879 --> 00:06:32.420
as hard as I can, it summons a drum set out of
00:06:32.420 --> 00:06:36.579
thin air. For it to appear, I also have to think
00:06:36.579 --> 00:06:38.139
about how bad I don't want people to get mad
00:06:38.139 --> 00:06:40.980
at me. And that I'm super worried about disappointing
00:06:40.980 --> 00:06:44.420
my friends. But I think it's mostly because of
00:06:44.420 --> 00:06:47.980
my thighs. I'm pretty stoked about it, though.
00:06:48.360 --> 00:06:51.850
I'm ready to do my part. In the beginning, I
00:06:51.850 --> 00:06:53.769
was all worried it'd be a big deal and stuff.
00:06:53.990 --> 00:06:57.009
Like, I felt this crushing weight of responsibility.
00:06:58.089 --> 00:07:00.930
But you kind of get over it after a while. Like
00:07:00.930 --> 00:07:04.850
it wears off easy. It's chill. Nothing the L
00:07:04.850 --> 00:07:10.250
-Dog can't handle. Do you know what it's like
00:07:10.250 --> 00:07:14.370
to be on top? Well, it's not just about stardom.
00:07:14.629 --> 00:07:18.389
It's walking into a room and knowing every head
00:07:18.389 --> 00:07:21.740
will turn. It's about having that special something
00:07:21.740 --> 00:07:25.439
that makes you impossible to ignore. When I wake
00:07:25.439 --> 00:07:28.060
up, the first thing I see is my name blowing
00:07:28.060 --> 00:07:31.839
up. Hundreds of comments, new followers, brands
00:07:31.839 --> 00:07:35.980
begging to work with me. Oh sure, I have my haters
00:07:35.980 --> 00:07:39.519
and they say some horrible things about me. But
00:07:39.519 --> 00:07:42.459
the one word they'll never use is forgettable.
00:07:43.040 --> 00:07:45.600
That's because my beauty and charisma are undeniable.
00:07:46.339 --> 00:07:50.089
They're jealous. And who can blame them? I'm
00:07:50.089 --> 00:07:52.829
everything they wish I could be. Some people
00:07:52.829 --> 00:07:55.110
pretend not to know this because it intimidates
00:07:55.110 --> 00:07:58.149
them, but the cold, hard truth is that in this
00:07:58.149 --> 00:08:02.829
world, looks are what matter most. Well, it's
00:08:02.829 --> 00:08:05.310
only natural that I'm one of the chosen. I mean,
00:08:05.389 --> 00:08:07.769
I was barely even surprised when I found out.
00:08:07.990 --> 00:08:10.149
I don't need to be told to know I'm special,
00:08:10.389 --> 00:08:14.949
because I see it every single time I look in
00:08:14.949 --> 00:08:23.019
the mirror. Cosmic powers. Interesting. These
00:08:23.019 --> 00:08:25.779
are definitely something new. I'll figure out
00:08:25.779 --> 00:08:28.519
the best way to put them to use. Whatever happens,
00:08:28.660 --> 00:08:32.740
though, I won't let it go to my head. Last week,
00:08:32.740 --> 00:08:35.159
I encountered a cosmic being that granted me
00:08:35.159 --> 00:08:38.340
the ability to literally warp reality through
00:08:38.340 --> 00:08:41.360
music. But as it turns out, I'm not the only
00:08:41.360 --> 00:08:44.600
one. Hundreds of others, including Kai, stumbled
00:08:44.600 --> 00:08:48.590
upon this same deal. His own pet. his own powers,
00:08:48.789 --> 00:08:53.129
and apparently the same mission. But here's what
00:08:53.129 --> 00:08:57.269
bothers me. Why so many of us? It diminishes
00:08:57.269 --> 00:08:59.990
our strength, stifles our capacity to make the
00:08:59.990 --> 00:09:02.629
hard calls and do what needs to be done. And
00:09:02.629 --> 00:09:05.210
frankly, having someone like Kai thrown into
00:09:05.210 --> 00:09:08.870
the mix? That kind of unpredictability is our
00:09:08.870 --> 00:09:13.649
fast track to ruin. No, I'm starting to see the
00:09:13.649 --> 00:09:16.620
big picture. It's not enough to simply play along
00:09:16.620 --> 00:09:19.980
on some grand mission. We can't risk leaving
00:09:19.980 --> 00:09:24.500
our fate in idle hands. I'll take charge. That's
00:09:24.500 --> 00:09:30.639
the only way we'll ensure our survival. Do you
00:09:30.639 --> 00:09:35.059
know who you are? I mean, truly? Humor me for
00:09:35.059 --> 00:09:38.019
just a moment. I want to know if you've ever
00:09:38.019 --> 00:09:40.460
found yourself in a situation where you ended
00:09:40.460 --> 00:09:43.539
up behaving differently than you thought you
00:09:43.539 --> 00:09:46.720
would. You might have imagined yourself as somebody
00:09:46.720 --> 00:09:49.519
who could handle a crisis, but when faced with
00:09:49.519 --> 00:09:53.080
unexpected chaos, you found yourself paralyzed,
00:09:53.539 --> 00:09:57.720
unable to take action. Perhaps you never imagined
00:09:57.720 --> 00:10:00.279
you could hurt the people you love most, but
00:10:00.279 --> 00:10:02.480
got overwhelmed and lashed out at one of them
00:10:02.480 --> 00:10:05.700
in a moment of weakness. What do you do with
00:10:05.700 --> 00:10:08.679
the things you're most ashamed of? Do you bury
00:10:08.679 --> 00:10:11.340
them away where they can't be found, or wear
00:10:11.340 --> 00:10:14.179
them on your sleeve? And why do you think that
00:10:14.179 --> 00:10:18.399
is? Your mind has created a story for itself
00:10:18.399 --> 00:10:22.139
about who you are and what you want. A pretty
00:10:22.139 --> 00:10:26.379
lie that allows you to carry on. It's just basic
00:10:26.379 --> 00:10:29.919
self -preservation. Who wants to think of themselves
00:10:29.919 --> 00:10:34.940
as a bad person? As irredeemable? We all intuitively
00:10:34.940 --> 00:10:38.259
know that such people exist. But not you, right?
00:10:38.740 --> 00:10:45.950
Oh no, never you. Well, it's just a thought.
