The Plot Twist Nobody Prepared Us For

WEBVTT
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All right.
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Are you ready for the Friday wind down?
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I am.
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Absolutely.
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Yeah.
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This is the first time that we've recorded at night in a long time.
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It is, yeah.
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We've been doing a lot of daytime sessions, but it's kind of like nice and cozy in here after hours.
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Yeah, in your sec shed.
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Yeah, I'm gonna set the mood.
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We're out in the sec shed right now.
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I mean, professionally we call it the sleep shed, but we all know what it is.
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We can call it what it is.
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Call a spade a spade.
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We're all in our cozies.
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It's the event at the end of a long week, and we're just excited to be here with you.
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So let's hop into the show, shall we?
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Welcome to messy as hell with Krista and Kim.
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No filters, no fixes, just real life.
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All right, welcome to messy as hell.
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I'm Krista.
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I'm Kim.
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And we are so happy to have you here with us today.
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We are going to start, as we always do, launching into our messy moments.
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These are some moments from the week that just highlight real life and what it is that we're going through every day.
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And I think it's my turn to go first.
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Yes.
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So let me lay it on you.
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Mine actually just happened today.
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I had another messy moment lined up, and then I had this incident with my kids, and I was like, you know what?
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This is life right now.
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I'm just gonna share this.
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So today was a really busy day.
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I had a lot of running around to do.
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At the end of the evening, it's fall soccer season now.
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So my son had soccer practice.
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I had to pick him up from the school, get him a snack, get him changed, and then turn around and go right back out to practice.
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And my daughter and I were there watching him.
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It was super hot.
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It was like 90 degrees, just very humid.
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And so after about an hour, I told her, okay, let's get up and let's run to the grocery store real quick.
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Let's go pick up some stuff from dinner and then we'll come back and pick him up.
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Because she was kind of getting a little antsy.
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She she was clearly bored.
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I was like, okay, let's go run an errand and we'll come back.
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So we ran to the grocery store.
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Our town is super small.
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So it literally took us like three minutes to get there.
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We grabbed our stuff.
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We ran back.
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We get in the parking lot with like one minute to spare.
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And I'm like, perfect.
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This will be great.
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I'll just put the car in park and we'll run up and we'll catch him.
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Except that my car decided to totally malfunction on me, which unfortunately it has been.
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It's been having this issue.
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It's kind of end of life.
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It's like 200,000 miles.
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It is not letting me take the keys out of the ignition.
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And it's kind of like roulette because sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't.
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One day it pops out perfectly.
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And then the next day at five minutes and I'm still there, like Jimmy ringing this thing, trying to get it out.
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It's so frustrating.
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And of course, it always happens at the worst time when like I'm in a hurry or I've got to go get the kids so he doesn't get left behind on the field.
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And my daughter and I are there.
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She's like, oh, come on, come on, Key, come out.
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Mama, it's gotta come out.
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I'm like, you know what?
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Fuck it.
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It's fine.
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We're gonna be late.
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We're gonna leave the keys in the car.
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And she's like, no, the car will get stolen.
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We can't just leave the keys in it.
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I was like, at this point, sis, I don't care.
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Yeah.
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Come take it.
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We gotta go get your brother.
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Let's go.
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So we leave the keys in the car and we go running up to the field.
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She's really nervous about it.
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She's super stressed out.
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I mean, she's eight years old.
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I don't know.
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In her head, this feels like a very big deal.
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Of course.
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So we get to the field where the other moms are.
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Everyone's just wrapping up.
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And they're like, oh, you made it back just in time.
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We're all leaving.
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And I was like, to be fair, I've actually been back for the last five minutes.
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We've just been sitting in the parking lot trying to get my keys out.
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And I was like, Yeah, our keys are stuck in the car.
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And my mom just left them there because it's not working and it's broken.
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And now the car's going to come out.
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I like for you.
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And I was just like blushing.
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I was like, Yeah, that's true.
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We are having some problems with our car at its end of life.
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And everyone's just kind of laughing.
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And they're like, oh my God.
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My daughter's like, Mom, this is stressful.
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We need to go before the car gets stolen.
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I was like, sis, it's okay.
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We're in a small town.
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You can just let it go now.
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But she would not let it go.
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She just kept saying again and again, Harlan, hurry up.
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We got it.
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The keys are in the cart.
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It's gonna get stolen.
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And she's like yelling this across the field.
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And I'm like, just putting my head in my hand, like, oh my goodness.
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She cannot keep anything to herself.
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If there's something on her mind, she's got to put it out there.
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And I was like, well, you know what?
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This is real life.
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Sometimes we have car problems.
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Sometimes things don't work smoothly.
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And whatever.
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This is this is it.
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Kids are great for embarrassing you, right?
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They're just like just keeping it real.
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So real.
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But anyway, so it wasn't that bad.
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It was just an example of I wish my kids would just kind of keep things quiet sometimes, but I always have to walk into a situation knowing that they probably won't.
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Yeah.
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Well, now keys locked in cars.
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I mean, are stuck in cars?
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That's uh, yeah, that's that's a sticky one.
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I don't think that happens to a lot of people.
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I think that this is kind of like uniquely me, and it's just getting very uncomfortable because I'll show up at like a city council meeting and I'm like, well shit, I can't get out of my car.
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All these people are sitting here watching me like reposition my car.
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They're probably thinking, why has this woman started her car three times as I'm like trying to put her in and out of gear?
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Yes, that is literally what I do.
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I'll sit in a parking space and just like reverse in and out of it again and again, trying to get this car to recognize that it is in fact in park and it's not in gear anymore.
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It is, it's been a struggle.
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I am we're looking for a new car.
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I don't know when we're gonna find one though.
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We have our eye on a very specific make and model.
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So may I suggest one without an actual physical key that goes in the ignition?
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I mean, that actually at this point sounds pretty novel.
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I feel like at this point, I'm like kind of ready to just leave the keys in the car and hope that someone takes it.
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Because I'm so done and over with this situation, especially on like a 90-degree day when you're sitting in the car, you're sweating, and you're like wrestling with the key, praying that it doesn't break off in your hands.
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Yeah, no, that's not good.
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Anyway, that was my moment.
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Let's let's hear what you had going on.
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You know, I mean, it is it's like one of those days like we've talked about.
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It's just a pressure cooker.
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I feel like it's been a pressure cooker week and I uh don't get a lot of me time like we've talked about.
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And so I've been super intentional the past few weeks to get my me time in.
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I've started Pilates.
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I'm super pumped on it.
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I'm like, if I can go once a week, fantastic.
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If I can go.
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Yeah, Pilates Princess over here.
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Yeah, right.
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Just for clarity, I am in like the what they call it, Pilates like flow one or whatever.
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The ladies that are in my class are like geriatric, so it makes me feel great.
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They're like in their late 60s.
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That's amazing.
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I'm crushing the cost.
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Actually, I should try and come to this class.
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This sounds like it's totally my speed.
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It feels great.
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So I I had a class on the schedule for the end of the today after work.
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So I was like, I need this, it's been a long week.
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And so I had all my appointments today, and you know, I had a last minute one pop up on a very high-end listing that I have off market, and so naturally I need to accommodate it because it's a very big price point.
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And there are Apple executives that are coming to take a look at it.
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And oh yeah.
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Anyways, naturally, of course, they are running late.
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Oh no.
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And I'm already having just client drama with a client that I should never have taken.
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I like basically fired her before she ever hired me.
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Anyways, long story short, it's just a long day.
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Yeah.
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So they show up late and I'm trying to close up the house really fast and get, you know, downtown, and I get there and I need to change really fast.
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And, you know, by the time I like get changed and run out to the front, I'm like seven minutes after class starts.
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Well, the lady's like, sorry, five minute cutoff after class starts.
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Oh, that's I just like really and she's like, sorry, and I'm like, So new year, is there anything?
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And you can't get your money back, right?
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So I've already paid for the class because I don't have a limited.
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So I'm just like, oh, really?
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And she's like, Yeah, sorry.
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That's a bit of a moment of just complete just kind of defeat because I really wanted that.
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It was a wrong thing.
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You were you had set the whole plan in motion, but it couldn't work out.
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You did everything to the best of your ability.
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I did.
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That's such a bummer.
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And I know how that feels too, because it's like you need so much for you, and it just kind of comes as such a low blow.
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Yeah.
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Well, it just like I think it was an insult to injury because then after that, I went home and I was trying to have a conversation with my husband, and I couldn't, and then I was getting frustrated about not being able to print with the printer.
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And then I just, you know, it's stress, hormones, what it was.
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Life got the best of me.
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Yeah.
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And I ended up getting upset with him over something really stupid that really wasn't important.
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And he's like, you know, did you even see the flowers I got for you on the counter?
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I can't, you know, he's like, You came home and I he's like, I'm grocery shopping.
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And I'm like, I did.
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Thank you.
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I'm sorry.
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Yes, you know, and he's like, he's like, you know, just give me a hug.
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I'm like, I'm sorry.
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I'm I suck right now so bad.
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I'm sorry, you know.
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So it's just had I had just a little bit of me time, I feel like I wouldn't have exploded and boiled over.
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No, 100%.
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You know, that's funny that you mention it.
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I was at this soccer practice with another mom, and we were talking about how important me time is.
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And she was saying that if she doesn't go for at least a four-mile bike ride once a week, she's like, I will explode all my kids.
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Everyone in my family knows mom needs her me time.
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She's like, and I don't ask for that much.
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I just need one mountain bike ride a week.
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Give me four miles to get some time, to get my energy out, to get my thoughts balanced.
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Like, and if I don't get that, I'm just a nightmare.
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Yeah.
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And so, I mean, at least kudos for recognizing it.
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I'm just so sorry that didn't work out for you, though, because I know how bad that feels.
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Yeah.
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That's all right.
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It's just one of those things where I'm like, it's on to the next, it's fine.
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You know, I made one class this week, so I considered when I just kind of feel like shit for taking it out on my husband.
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Unfortunately, that is what life being married is.
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It is hard.
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You know, we are all together in each other's space, and when someone explodes, sometimes there is someone nearby who's gonna catch some of that.
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True.
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Well, let's hop into the topic.
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Today's topic is one that's kind of like very near and dear to both of our hearts because of where we are in this phase of life.
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And once we decided that we were gonna do it, it was kind of crazy how much it just started popping up in conversations with other women, whether it was at work, whether it was with city council, just being out on the soccer field.
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What we're gonna talk about today is perimenopause.
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The magical period every woman listening is saying, Yes, which apparently can last from like one to ten years.
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Like, what the fuck kind of range is that?
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So the next decade of my life could be lost to this perimenopause hole, which is actually super discouraging.
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I wish I hadn't just said that out loud.
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Well, you know, at the same time, I've talked to a few people and they say, you know, you should look at it as this is like your phase of life where you're actually like leaving and letting go of all of this shit that you actually don't care about.
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And this is your body regaining and saying, like, no, this is my I don't give a fuck era.
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And it's like, you know, it's like letting you into that era.
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Okay, getting ready for my rest era.
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Okay, well, hopefully there is some light at the end of the tunnel.
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I'm really hoping for that.
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We wanted to talk about it today because I don't know about you, but as I first realized that I was entering this period, I felt crazy.
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I felt like something was very wrong with me.
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I felt very discouraged and like my life was never gonna be good or normal or happy again, and like I was just getting worse for some unexplained reason.
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I had no idea what was going on.
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Okay.
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It felt very out of control.
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Yeah.
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And just like something was so deeply wrong with me.
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So how long ago did that start for you?
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I mean, I would say the earliest signs actually probably started about eight months ago, but it really came to a head or like a crux about three two months ago when I actually actually just felt like there is something wrong with me.
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I need to go see a doctor.
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Like this has been going on long enough.
00:11:08.159 --> 00:11:08.480
Yeah.
00:11:08.639 --> 00:11:12.080
And so I know that if that's been my experience, I am not the only one.
00:11:12.240 --> 00:11:12.480
Yeah.
00:11:12.639 --> 00:11:19.120
I know that there are other women out there who have felt like they were crazy or like their body is turning on them or something is going wrong.
00:11:19.360 --> 00:11:19.840
For sure.
00:11:20.080 --> 00:11:29.840
So we wanted to open up the space, talk about it a little bit, talk about our experiences, and talk about just some of the things that we've learned along the way as we've tried to deal with it.
00:11:29.919 --> 00:11:33.440
So I don't know what's your experience been like because I know you have a little bit of a different thing.
00:11:33.600 --> 00:11:36.159
Yeah, mine's my hormones went like crazy.
00:11:36.240 --> 00:11:44.799
I would wake up every night in insane night sweats, like full, like I would wake up thinking I wet the bed kind of sweats, like just soaking wet.
00:11:45.039 --> 00:11:48.559
So like I would wake up in the morning and my side of the bed would be brown.
00:11:48.639 --> 00:11:49.919
Like that's how sweaty.
00:11:50.480 --> 00:11:51.600
It's just very gross.
00:11:51.840 --> 00:11:57.360
And then the the brain fog is absolutely like that was like a whole nother level.
00:11:57.519 --> 00:11:58.639
There's just so many things.
00:11:58.720 --> 00:12:04.799
Oh, and the the acne on like the like the acne on my my chin and my neck that I've I've never been an acne person.
00:12:04.879 --> 00:12:07.279
So the hormonal acne and a back knee.
00:12:07.360 --> 00:12:09.840
I've never, like I said, I was getting back knee.
00:12:09.919 --> 00:12:21.039
And so I was going through all of this, and then shortly thereafter, like I, you know, like I mentioned, she my my very dear friend Bree, she had one about a year and a half after, exact same symptoms.
00:12:21.200 --> 00:12:21.759
Oh, interesting.
00:12:21.919 --> 00:12:25.519
And then I was talking to another friend in between that period of time, she had this.
00:12:26.000 --> 00:12:30.320
Then it was just like there were too many people that I knew that were going through this towards the same period of time.
00:12:30.399 --> 00:12:34.399
So it was five or six people within like a two-year period at that point.
00:12:34.639 --> 00:12:36.320
Everyone had the exact same symptoms.
00:12:36.480 --> 00:12:40.080
And so I felt a lot less crazy when you start talking to people.
00:12:40.240 --> 00:12:43.519
So it was this complete kickoff of my hormones just spiraling.
00:12:43.840 --> 00:12:54.639
To be quite honest, I don't even know how it was that I originally deduced that I was in perimenopause because my symptoms, I think, well, number one, no one ever taught me about perimenopause.
00:12:54.879 --> 00:12:56.399
This is not anything I've really learned about.
00:12:56.559 --> 00:12:57.360
And I am a nurse.
00:12:57.519 --> 00:12:59.679
I went to nursing school, I learned about aging.
00:12:59.759 --> 00:13:02.159
Yeah, I don't really remember discussing that at all.
00:13:02.399 --> 00:13:09.679
The only thing I've ever really even heard about menopause is the hot flashes and the sweating and like the temperature regulation.
00:13:09.840 --> 00:13:11.519
So that was the only thing I was really aware of.
00:13:11.600 --> 00:13:19.919
I wasn't aware of any of these other symptoms, like the midsection weight gain or the sleep insomnia.
00:13:20.080 --> 00:13:22.240
I had no idea that it affected your sleep so much.
00:13:22.639 --> 00:13:26.960
Gosh, I am getting brain fog right now, so I can't even think of all the different symptoms that I listed.
00:13:27.120 --> 00:13:31.360
But the skin changes, some people get really dry, papery skin.
00:13:31.440 --> 00:13:35.840
People have heart palpitations, the sex stuff that will definitely come back.
00:13:36.159 --> 00:13:37.519
I mean, there's a whole pile there.
00:13:37.840 --> 00:13:41.279
The joint and muscle, like there were all these things that I had no idea were an issue.
00:13:41.440 --> 00:13:45.519
For me, what really started for me were mood changes, sleep changes first.
00:13:45.600 --> 00:13:48.879
So I started having insomnia, but I have kind of struggled with that my whole life.
00:13:48.960 --> 00:13:51.440
So I thought it was just insomnia coming back.
00:13:51.600 --> 00:13:51.840
Sure.
00:13:52.000 --> 00:13:57.200
But I started having a lot of wakefulness at night, and then my mood was just so insane.
00:13:57.360 --> 00:14:03.919
And at first I was like, oh, well, maybe I have PMDD, but then it became so much less regular.
00:14:04.080 --> 00:14:07.919
Like when I have had PMS in the past, it is always three days before my period.
00:14:08.000 --> 00:14:09.600
I start my period and it stops.
00:14:09.840 --> 00:14:15.120
Where this, I'd be going along just fine, would be having great days, and then it would feel like a bomb had gone off in my life.
00:14:15.279 --> 00:14:20.399
And I was suddenly so irritable, so moody, so tearful, and it was so extreme.
00:14:20.559 --> 00:14:26.799
And I felt like I was going crazy, like I couldn't even handle just like being around my kids, being around my spouse.
00:14:26.960 --> 00:14:27.039
Yeah.
00:14:27.200 --> 00:14:29.120
And so I don't know what it was for me.
00:14:29.279 --> 00:14:37.039
And I think maybe it was just that I had heard other women talking about perimenopause that I was like, you know, maybe I'm going to perimenopause.
00:14:37.120 --> 00:14:39.279
Maybe I should go talk to a provider.
00:14:39.440 --> 00:14:39.600
Yeah.
00:14:39.759 --> 00:14:41.360
And so that was kind of where I started then.
00:14:41.440 --> 00:14:47.279
After I had this moment of like, oh, okay, maybe all of these changes aren't just a coincidence.
00:14:47.360 --> 00:14:47.519
Yeah.
00:14:47.759 --> 00:14:50.000
Maybe these are all pointing to something bigger.
00:14:50.080 --> 00:14:50.240
Yeah.
00:14:50.320 --> 00:14:52.960
And maybe I should go see a doctor and see what they can tell me.
00:14:53.120 --> 00:14:53.360
Yeah.
00:14:53.519 --> 00:14:57.759
Well, do you ever remember your I never remember my mom ever talking about perimetopause?
00:14:57.840 --> 00:15:02.480
It was just my mom was officially in menopause and she was substantially older than I am.
00:15:02.639 --> 00:15:02.960
Yes.
00:15:03.120 --> 00:15:06.000
And so it was never, it was never even addressed.
00:15:06.080 --> 00:15:07.759
It was just, I remember she was going through it.
00:15:07.840 --> 00:15:11.600
And then it was like it was the hot flashes that I remember the most to your point.
00:15:11.840 --> 00:15:16.399
And those weren't, I mean, I I get the, you know, during the day stuff where I'm like, oh, I'm really cold.
00:15:16.480 --> 00:15:17.919
And then I'm not burning up.
00:15:18.000 --> 00:15:19.759
And it's like I gotta take off multiple layers.
00:15:19.919 --> 00:15:26.639
And I went to um, I went to actually a Mel Robbins thing in San Jose with my business partner, and it was amazing.
00:15:26.879 --> 00:15:30.960
And while we're in there, all of a sudden I am like a thousand degrees.
00:15:31.039 --> 00:15:36.080
I'm surrounded by a ton of women, and I am like, oh my god, I'm so hot.
00:15:36.159 --> 00:15:40.159
And I like I felt like I could just take up every layer and I'm surrounded by all these women.
00:15:40.240 --> 00:15:43.279
But I went from like being like, it's because it's so much AC in there.
00:15:43.360 --> 00:15:43.600
Uh huh.
00:15:43.759 --> 00:15:45.840
So I was cold the next thing I was just burning up.
00:15:45.919 --> 00:15:47.120
And I was like, that's when you know.
00:15:47.200 --> 00:15:50.639
I just told my business partner, I'm like, that's when you know, like you are like in it.
00:15:50.879 --> 00:15:55.600
Yeah, well, you know what's so funny is even as I'm sitting here talking, I'm like, no, I don't think I really get the hot flashes.
00:15:55.679 --> 00:15:56.960
But then I'm thinking about how it works.
00:15:57.120 --> 00:16:01.120
We keep our operating rooms so cold that everyone's always bundled up.
00:16:01.279 --> 00:16:05.440
And there are some days where I'm like, you guys, why are you like wearing all these layers?
00:16:05.519 --> 00:16:06.559
It is so fucking hot.
00:16:06.639 --> 00:16:07.679
I'm like sweating over here.
00:16:07.759 --> 00:16:13.519
And I'm like, oh duh, you were probably having hot flashes and you just totally didn't recognize it.
00:16:13.840 --> 00:16:14.080
Yeah.
00:16:14.240 --> 00:16:14.480
Yeah.
00:16:14.559 --> 00:16:16.559
I mean, that is the thing too.
00:16:16.720 --> 00:16:19.039
So my mom had a radical hysterectomy.
00:16:19.120 --> 00:16:20.320
So she had everything removed.
00:16:20.399 --> 00:16:23.039
And so she got put into menopause straight away.
00:16:23.120 --> 00:16:26.720
And so she never had this perimenopause period that I remember.
00:16:26.799 --> 00:16:28.960
And we've kind of talked about it recently.
00:16:29.120 --> 00:16:33.200
And she obviously now has a lot of the symptoms of like the hormone depletion.
00:16:33.279 --> 00:16:34.720
Like she has to replace that.
00:16:34.960 --> 00:16:40.320
But I don't remember her having this like long-standing slow burn of symptoms.
00:16:40.799 --> 00:16:44.159
And so this was kind of shocking to me when it all started happening.
00:16:44.240 --> 00:16:47.039
And I felt like, oh my goodness, I've got to start navigating this journey.
00:16:47.200 --> 00:16:52.480
And it felt honestly really isolating all over again, kind of like when I first entered motherhood.
00:16:52.559 --> 00:16:56.879
And I felt so isolated because it was so new and like a lot of my friends didn't have kids at the time.
00:16:57.039 --> 00:17:03.600
It felt very isolating to me because I feel like in a separate group of friends that I have, I'm kind of the first to enter.
00:17:03.759 --> 00:17:06.720
My my best friends from college, neither of them are having any of this.
00:17:06.799 --> 00:17:08.240
So I'm the first one to hit it.
00:17:08.319 --> 00:17:11.839
So when I was going to them asking questions, they're like, Yeah, can't relate.
00:17:12.079 --> 00:17:12.319
Sorry.
00:17:12.640 --> 00:17:13.200
That's always fun.
00:17:13.440 --> 00:17:14.960
This hasn't happened for me.
00:17:15.519 --> 00:17:16.640
So I don't know.
00:17:16.720 --> 00:17:20.079
I'm gonna talk a little bit, I think just about my treatment experience.
00:17:20.319 --> 00:17:21.680
And then maybe you can talk about yours.
00:17:22.000 --> 00:17:24.640
Now, to be fair, I haven't actually gotten treatment yet.
00:17:24.880 --> 00:17:31.519
But what was really tough was the first appointment that I made, I went and saw my general practitioner because, in general, that's what you do.
00:17:31.599 --> 00:17:33.359
You start with your primary care provider.
00:17:33.680 --> 00:17:34.559
I really like her.
00:17:34.720 --> 00:17:37.440
She's really intelligent and she's been very helpful with other things.
00:17:37.519 --> 00:17:39.200
So I was like, yeah, I'm definitely gonna start with her.
00:17:39.279 --> 00:17:40.240
Let's go have a conversation.
00:17:40.400 --> 00:17:42.640
I'm gonna tell her about my symptoms.
00:17:42.799 --> 00:17:48.799
I'm gonna tell her about this really crazy mood instability that I've had, and I'm gonna ask her for her recommendation on what I should do.
00:17:49.119 --> 00:17:56.640
And so I met with her and we talked about it and I laid everything out for her, told her how it was such a change from normal and how it has been growing over the last few months.
00:17:56.799 --> 00:18:02.480
And it was really hard because her first initial inclination was to prescribe me antidepressants.
00:18:02.640 --> 00:18:03.599
Yeah, it's dismissive.
00:18:03.680 --> 00:18:04.720
It's not, it's not hormonal.
00:18:04.960 --> 00:18:09.119
And I felt so tough because I told her, and thankfully I'm a nurse, I can advocate for myself.
00:18:09.200 --> 00:18:18.640
And I told her, you know, can you explain to me why an antidepressant is what I would need for hormonal changes, for mood instability caused by hormonal changes?
00:18:18.799 --> 00:18:21.519
And she was like, Well, no, I can't really explain it.
00:18:21.599 --> 00:18:22.960
It's not well understood.
00:18:23.119 --> 00:18:24.480
We just know that it works.
00:18:24.720 --> 00:18:26.799
And I was like, that doesn't quite make sense to me.
00:18:26.880 --> 00:18:32.480
It's like, because if the issue is being caused by my hormones, you would think that I would need some sort of treatment related to the problem.
00:18:34.160 --> 00:18:37.279
And not this like symptom-based treatment just for something.
00:18:37.519 --> 00:18:38.960
And I said, it's not even depression.
00:18:39.039 --> 00:18:41.200
I it's mood instility, it's irritability.
00:18:41.359 --> 00:18:42.640
This, I'm not depressed.
00:18:42.720 --> 00:18:46.640
And by and large, I feel pretty good mental health-wise.
00:18:47.039 --> 00:18:49.039
I just don't like having this roller coaster.
00:18:49.440 --> 00:18:50.720
What's the underlying problem, right?
00:18:51.119 --> 00:18:51.279
Yeah.
00:18:51.680 --> 00:18:52.319
And so it's tough.
00:18:52.400 --> 00:19:02.720
So we had a long conversation, we talked about birth control, but it was just so clear that she was very inexperienced with this and just had not dealt with this enough to really know.
00:19:03.119 --> 00:19:05.920
She basically told me, Well, this is my general practice.
00:19:06.079 --> 00:19:10.480
If women show up with mood symptoms, I prescribe them antidepressants.
00:19:10.640 --> 00:19:18.079
If they show up with physical symptoms like heavy bleeding, extreme cramping, really irregular periods, because that's what happens.
00:19:18.240 --> 00:19:20.319
A lot of that happens during perimenopause.
00:19:20.400 --> 00:19:23.200
She said, if they show up with those symptoms, I prescribe birth control.
00:19:23.359 --> 00:19:24.400
And I was like, this isn't right.
00:19:24.480 --> 00:19:25.359
There's gotta be a better way.
00:19:25.519 --> 00:19:27.200
So I let her prescribe me birth control.
00:19:27.440 --> 00:19:33.839
I brought it home and I got very, very lucky that I had this light bulb go off in my head.
00:19:33.920 --> 00:19:42.559
So I work at a big academic facility and they send out routine emails about all the things that are going on, hospital, medical school-wide.
00:19:42.720 --> 00:19:50.720
And they sent out a podcast that some of the women, some of the OBGYNs and health and aging specialists have been working on.
00:19:51.039 --> 00:19:52.480
And it is on perimenopause.
00:19:52.640 --> 00:19:57.839
And so I have been seeing this pop up in my email for like the last six months, and I would kind of just delete it.
00:19:58.000 --> 00:19:58.079
Yeah.
00:19:58.240 --> 00:20:02.000
And you know, maybe that's why perimenopause occurred to me because this had been showing up in my email.
00:20:02.160 --> 00:20:03.599
And I was like, you know what?
00:20:03.759 --> 00:20:06.880
There is this podcast from this major academic center.
00:20:07.039 --> 00:20:08.160
I'm gonna go listen to that.
00:20:08.240 --> 00:20:11.920
And I'm gonna listen to that before I start birth control, and I'm gonna see what they say.
00:20:12.079 --> 00:20:13.519
And it was, it was eye-opening.
00:20:13.680 --> 00:20:13.839
Okay.
00:20:14.160 --> 00:20:17.839
I listened to it and I instantly felt relief flood over me.
00:20:18.000 --> 00:20:19.039
I'm not crazy.
00:20:19.759 --> 00:20:19.839
Yes.
00:20:20.079 --> 00:20:22.880
Yes, this is happening to women all over the world.
00:20:23.119 --> 00:20:23.839
Very validating.
00:20:24.079 --> 00:20:25.119
Like, I'm not alone.
00:20:25.279 --> 00:20:26.240
It was crazy.
00:20:26.319 --> 00:20:32.400
I called my husband as soon as I listened to it, and I was like, I, because I had told him how hopeless I felt after meeting with my PCP.
00:20:32.480 --> 00:20:34.160
I was like, I feel so discouraged.
00:20:34.319 --> 00:20:36.400
Like there's not actually an answer.
00:20:36.640 --> 00:20:40.000
And after I heard this podcast, I was like, love, there's hope.
00:20:40.319 --> 00:20:42.240
I can get hormone replacement therapy.
00:20:42.400 --> 00:20:42.559
Yeah.
00:20:42.720 --> 00:20:44.319
I have a chance at happiness in 10.
00:20:44.400 --> 00:20:45.279
And he's like, me too.
00:20:45.519 --> 00:20:47.519
Don't you probably think, yes, exactly.
00:20:48.480 --> 00:20:49.119
Just joking.
00:20:49.839 --> 00:20:50.240
I know.
00:20:50.319 --> 00:20:52.319
I'm sure my husband feels the same way.
00:20:52.559 --> 00:20:52.720
Yeah.
00:20:52.960 --> 00:20:55.440
But I'm curious, like, what was your experience?
00:20:55.680 --> 00:20:58.000
You know, have you had, have you sought treatment?
00:20:58.799 --> 00:21:06.480
Yeah, well, no, I mean, I because mine just like it was such a roller coaster, like very quickly after I had my hysterectomy.
00:21:06.640 --> 00:21:08.160
And I love my OB.
00:21:08.400 --> 00:21:09.440
She is great.
00:21:09.759 --> 00:21:11.839
So I went to her multiple times.
00:21:12.000 --> 00:21:17.440
And unfortunately, like it often happens in the medical industry, it was very dismissive.
00:21:17.599 --> 00:21:19.119
Like I said, she's wonderful, she's great.
00:21:19.200 --> 00:21:20.240
She's a woman herself.
00:21:20.480 --> 00:21:21.599
It was very dismissive.
00:21:21.680 --> 00:21:24.480
It was very much so like your body's probably just trying to re-regulate.
00:21:24.559 --> 00:21:26.640
It's fine, give it time, yada yada.
00:21:27.039 --> 00:21:38.720
And then finally, another time I went back in and she actually referred me to a wonderful OB that had broke off from that practice to go do her own that was more holistic.
00:21:39.440 --> 00:21:41.839
Also, because I have like a high risk for cancer.
00:21:42.000 --> 00:21:44.240
It's not the brackaging, it's a and so more.
00:21:44.400 --> 00:21:44.559
Yeah.
00:21:44.640 --> 00:21:46.960
And so she's like, you know, she'll be great for this, anyways.
00:21:47.119 --> 00:21:51.359
Cause that's part of the other reason why I did the hysterectomy, and then we chose not to do the ovaries.
00:21:51.519 --> 00:21:57.200
And anyways, so I went over there, and so she was the one that kind of started me down that journey.
00:21:57.359 --> 00:21:59.759
She's like, This absolutely is gonna have an impact on your body.
00:22:00.240 --> 00:22:04.160
Just did all these things, and she was like, This is gonna throw you into perimetopause.
00:22:04.240 --> 00:22:11.599
And she was like, you know, basically at this point in time, I wouldn't start seeking like any type of hormonal replacement therapy until things start to level out.
00:22:11.680 --> 00:22:18.640
But she said a lot can be, you know, resolved through really a proper, healthy diet and exercise and good sleep and things like that.
00:22:18.799 --> 00:22:26.640
She's like, You let your body try to kind of figure out naturally and through time, if it doesn't, then start to try to seek like more natural like sources.
00:22:26.960 --> 00:22:28.640
But she said, be very careful.
00:22:28.960 --> 00:22:32.319
And so, you know, I would I tried my best to do it.
00:22:32.400 --> 00:22:38.319
And then over the past, I'd say like 12 to 18 months has gotten so much worse, especially the brain fog.
00:22:38.400 --> 00:22:42.000
And you know, as like a working professional, there's nothing more embarrassing.
00:22:42.319 --> 00:22:51.519
It's so embarrassing to just completely lose a word mid-sentence, mid-sentence, or like they're conveying something and it's really important, and you're and then it's nothing.
00:22:51.599 --> 00:22:51.839
Yeah.
00:22:52.000 --> 00:22:54.000
It's like, oh my goodness, it's awful.
00:22:54.240 --> 00:22:57.920
It's uh that's just it makes me feel so incompetent.
00:22:58.079 --> 00:23:05.759
And then I was doing actually yesterday on the phone with a client, and I was talking to her, and I said, Oh, hang on, I just lost my train of thought.
00:23:05.839 --> 00:23:06.720
It will come back to me.
00:23:06.880 --> 00:23:12.240
And then it didn't come back, and then I then I got hung up the phone, I text her, and thankfully she's a younger girl buying a home and she's wonderful.
00:23:12.319 --> 00:23:16.160
But I'm like, that's it's not something I would ever typically do.
00:23:16.319 --> 00:23:19.200
And it's just it makes me feel I know I'm not incompetent.
00:23:19.279 --> 00:23:20.559
I know I'm very good at my job.
00:23:20.720 --> 00:23:23.200
Oh, but it sows the seeds of doubt so quickly.
00:23:23.440 --> 00:23:25.759
And it just it makes me feel very insecure.
00:23:26.000 --> 00:23:29.200
So stuff like that, it just it drives me, it drives me nuts.
00:23:29.279 --> 00:23:31.759
And I think society makes us feel crazy as women, right?
00:23:31.839 --> 00:23:35.680
They tell, you know, they make the it's like that whole thing, women are crazy, it's their hormones, you know.
00:23:35.759 --> 00:23:39.119
It's like, you know, they're not emotionally stable when they're on their period, like all the things, right?
00:23:39.519 --> 00:23:42.079
So that just kind of pushes that factor even more.
00:23:42.400 --> 00:23:45.039
So I actually I found, you know, we've talked about it.
00:23:45.119 --> 00:23:48.240
I'm not gonna like, you know, push any brands or anything on here.
00:23:48.640 --> 00:24:04.720
Not a sponsor, no, not not a sponsor, but I did find an amazing alternative that was started by an OB because she looked at everything and she was going through parametopause herself, and she couldn't find something that was out there that would take care of everything that had everything in one.
00:24:05.279 --> 00:24:11.200
You know, she didn't want to take like 10 different supplements, she wanted it to be natural and she wanted her body to absorb it really well.
00:24:11.279 --> 00:24:18.480
So it's like an intervaginal like cream that you just apply once a day, and it has been a game changer, super helped.
00:24:18.640 --> 00:24:25.839
And then I also for brain fog, I actually I will totally drop this because it's not that it's I'm not a sponsor by any means, yeah.
00:24:26.000 --> 00:24:27.519
But it's called ketone IQ.
00:24:27.680 --> 00:24:30.000
It was yeah, ketone IQ, something like that.
00:24:30.240 --> 00:24:34.799
And they're like these ketone shots, and they super actually help with brain fog.
00:24:34.960 --> 00:24:35.359
Oh, that's right.
00:24:35.519 --> 00:24:40.319
You sent me home with one the other day, and I actually forgot to take it, but you said it actually does help with the brain fog.
00:24:40.559 --> 00:24:41.440
It's hugely helpful.
00:24:41.599 --> 00:24:48.000
So on days where I have like a really stacked schedule and I'm gonna be talking to a lot of clients, I take that and it's like my brain.
00:24:48.079 --> 00:24:52.240
And so I don't know, maybe there's something linked there hormonally that we can figure out with ketones.
00:24:52.559 --> 00:24:53.279
I don't know.
00:24:53.519 --> 00:24:58.000
But those are two things I have have done that have been hugely helpful for me.
00:24:58.160 --> 00:25:05.279
Yeah, and I'm ironically, so today when I had like my whole thing, I'm actually out of my cream and it's supposed to be sent out on the 30th.
00:25:05.359 --> 00:25:08.319
And so I sent a message to I'm like, oh, can you get this out sooner?
00:25:08.400 --> 00:25:10.000
Because I can tell like I'm starting to deploy.
00:25:11.119 --> 00:25:11.519
Yes.
00:25:12.079 --> 00:25:14.319
So that's I mean, that's been my experience.
00:25:14.559 --> 00:25:16.799
Yeah, I mean, the brain fog is no joke.
00:25:16.880 --> 00:25:22.319
And that's why I was like, listening to the podcast and hearing these women talk about the missing words and how words will just fall out of your vocabulary.
00:25:22.400 --> 00:25:27.440
I was like, you're you're speaking my language, you're speaking to my heart because that was one of the hardest things.
00:25:27.519 --> 00:25:27.920
You're right.
00:25:28.000 --> 00:25:29.200
It makes you feel so incompetent.
00:25:29.279 --> 00:25:31.839
At first, I was like, okay, it's pregnancy brain.
00:25:31.920 --> 00:25:33.200
Okay, I've been pregnant in 10 years.
00:25:33.279 --> 00:25:34.720
Then I was like, it's mom brain.
00:25:34.799 --> 00:25:35.920
Okay, my kids are eight and ten.
00:25:36.160 --> 00:25:38.160
I don't think I can call it mom brain anymore.
00:25:38.319 --> 00:25:44.079
But there would be these incidences, and it's actually it's so terrible with city council because I have to sound professional.
00:25:44.240 --> 00:25:47.119
I need to sound like I know what I'm talking about.
00:25:47.440 --> 00:25:51.200
And I'll go to start a sentence and I'm like, oh my God, the word just left me.
00:25:51.359 --> 00:25:52.799
What is this word that I'm looking for?
00:25:53.039 --> 00:25:54.559
You know, and it is just horrible.
00:25:54.640 --> 00:25:58.160
And then I'm like trying to explain this word that I can't find.
00:25:58.319 --> 00:26:04.000
So here I am beating around the bush, trying to like describe this word and help people understand what I'm saying.
00:26:04.240 --> 00:26:04.640
Totally.
00:26:04.880 --> 00:26:06.559
And sometimes the stakes are very low.
00:26:06.720 --> 00:26:09.839
Like the other day, my husband and I were out at a city outing.
00:26:10.079 --> 00:26:12.960
We were having like a little city fair, and so I was there.
00:26:13.039 --> 00:26:20.720
Um, I tried to go to the community events, and one of my other council members came up to talk to me and my husband, and he's asking us, oh, you know, how is the summer?
00:26:21.039 --> 00:26:22.640
How is getting the kids back into school?
00:26:22.720 --> 00:26:26.160
And I'm trying to talk to him and tell him how our summer was.
00:26:26.240 --> 00:26:32.559
And I was trying to explain to him, tell him that we took the kids on a road trip to Southern California, but the word road trip could not come to my mind.
00:26:32.640 --> 00:26:34.079
And so the three of us are there talking.
00:26:34.240 --> 00:26:38.640
I'm like, yeah, we took the kids down the road in a car.
00:26:39.200 --> 00:26:48.799
We drove to Southern California, and my husband and this man are both just looking at me like they're all gonna have this like nice little smile on their face, and they're like so endearing.
00:26:48.880 --> 00:26:51.440
And it's like they're saying, Come on, girl, you can get it.
00:26:51.680 --> 00:26:52.319
You can get it.
00:26:52.400 --> 00:26:53.039
It's right there.
00:26:53.200 --> 00:26:55.359
And I was like, This is so embarrassing.
00:26:55.519 --> 00:27:01.839
This man probably thinks I'm such a spaz because I'm literally describing the word road trip and can't just say it.
00:27:02.000 --> 00:27:02.319
Yeah.
00:27:02.559 --> 00:27:08.319
Well, have you had the I've had this where like I'm like I stutter because like I'm thinking about it and I start to say it and then I second guess.
00:27:08.400 --> 00:27:13.039
And so like I like stuttered the word, and I think that's also embarrassing because I'm like, what am I?
00:27:13.119 --> 00:27:14.160
Like a two-year-old?
00:27:14.240 --> 00:27:21.279
Like, I know the word starts to come out, and I'm like, uh uh and then it like it stutters because I'm saying it like three times, second guessing myself.
00:27:21.440 --> 00:27:24.559
I'm like, this and anyways, yeah, that that happens too.
00:27:25.119 --> 00:27:27.440
I mean, okay, so the joy of menopause.
00:27:27.519 --> 00:27:30.240
One thing that is really hard for me, and that's so exciting.
00:27:30.400 --> 00:27:32.000
So I've been doing some research on it, right?
00:27:32.079 --> 00:27:33.920
Because I want to know more about it.
00:27:34.160 --> 00:27:39.599
And the thing I just can't get over is that 50% of the population is women.
00:27:40.160 --> 00:27:47.519
Nearly every woman is gonna go through perimenopause, and yet there are so few resources available to us.
00:27:47.680 --> 00:27:51.519
So I I looked at a study and it was done in 2023.
00:27:51.759 --> 00:28:02.799
They printed it in the journal Menopause, and it was a study where they sent out a questionnaire to 145 different OBGYN programs throughout the country.
00:28:03.039 --> 00:28:09.440
So these are training programs for doctors who are gonna be female physicians.
00:28:09.759 --> 00:28:12.480
These are the people who should know everything about the woman's body.
00:28:13.279 --> 00:28:16.559
Of those 145 centers they sent it to, 99 responded.
00:28:16.720 --> 00:28:23.839
Of the 99 respondents, only 31% of them had a perimenopause and menopause specific curriculum.
00:28:24.160 --> 00:28:32.000
So these are the doctors who are supposed to be taking care of women, and only a third of their programs taught them anything specific about menopause.
00:28:32.079 --> 00:28:32.799
It's crazy.
00:28:33.359 --> 00:28:35.359
I was like, how is that possible?
00:28:35.599 --> 00:28:35.920
Yeah.
00:28:36.319 --> 00:28:43.839
So that was really jarring to me, and that is something that's like really stuck with me in just thinking about like no wonder it's so hard for me to seek out.
00:28:43.920 --> 00:28:47.359
No wonder my poor general practitioner didn't know that much about it.
00:28:47.599 --> 00:28:53.759
If the doctors who are meant to care for women don't know that much about it, how can I expect uh general PA to know about it?
00:28:54.000 --> 00:28:54.240
Yeah.
00:28:54.640 --> 00:28:56.960
No, it's uh that that's totally fair.
00:28:57.279 --> 00:29:00.240
That's totally fair, but it's also why is that the case?
00:29:00.559 --> 00:29:10.079
Why is our standard because if this I hate to say this I'm not some like sexist, but if this were anything to do with men, I feel like it's so advanced.
00:29:10.319 --> 00:29:22.000
Why is anything I mean, this is kind of slightly off topic, but like the way that we get like a pap smear, like the the the king other horrible like it's a this is it's so fucking archaic.
00:29:22.160 --> 00:29:23.440
Yes, I hate it so much.
00:29:23.519 --> 00:29:25.519
It's so uncomfortable, it's so painful.
00:29:25.759 --> 00:29:29.359
If we did certain things like this to male genodils, like do you know what I mean?
00:29:29.519 --> 00:29:31.759
Like that wouldn't be so fucking advanced, it's not even crazy.
00:29:32.079 --> 00:29:33.359
Well, and you know what's crazy though?
00:29:33.440 --> 00:29:35.279
Well, I mean, let's talk about men versus women.
00:29:35.359 --> 00:29:42.400
So men can't get it up, and instantly they come up with like three different men and three different pills to help them get a heart on.
00:29:42.480 --> 00:29:47.920
Yeah, you know, but women, we go through perimenopause and we get dryness and they're just like, oh, well, go find some lube.
00:29:48.000 --> 00:29:49.920
Yeah, you know, and like really that's the best you can do.
00:29:50.720 --> 00:29:51.759
Go back to birth control.
00:29:51.920 --> 00:29:52.079
Yes.
00:29:52.240 --> 00:29:54.400
Why can we not come up with a birth control for men?
00:29:54.480 --> 00:29:56.480
Because why are we put all the responsibility on women?
00:29:57.839 --> 00:29:59.599
That's like one of my biggest pet peeves.
00:29:59.680 --> 00:30:02.079
That's put all the responsibility on women because we're the ways.
00:30:02.400 --> 00:30:03.839
Oh, it's so so infuriating.
00:30:04.000 --> 00:30:05.599
It's like we're off topic.
00:30:06.000 --> 00:30:06.720
No, that's okay.
00:30:06.880 --> 00:30:09.359
But hey, that's what there's space here for ranting.
00:30:09.440 --> 00:30:09.599
Yeah.
00:30:09.839 --> 00:30:13.039
Because if you can't do it here, where else can you do it?
00:30:13.200 --> 00:30:14.799
You know, this is the place for it.
00:30:15.039 --> 00:30:25.119
I think one of the things that's crazy for me as well is, and I we kind of already touched on this earlier and talked about how number one, we didn't really learn about perimenopause when we were young.
00:30:25.200 --> 00:30:27.759
This isn't something that's a conversation and they prepare you for.
00:30:27.920 --> 00:30:28.079
Yeah.
00:30:28.240 --> 00:30:33.680
And it's like number two, when you have heard about it, you hear about the hot flashes and the sweating.
00:30:33.759 --> 00:30:39.279
You know, no one ever talks about this other insanely long list of symptoms that you can have.
00:30:39.359 --> 00:30:41.039
I'm gonna read just a few of them.
00:30:41.119 --> 00:30:50.000
And anyone out there listening, yourself included, Kim, like kind of make a little ding ding, make a little check mark in your mind as you're going through them because all of this can happen.
00:30:50.240 --> 00:30:51.200
Changes in periods.
00:30:51.440 --> 00:30:55.920
So before I will say that was when I started noticing because I track my periods in the Clue app.
00:30:56.240 --> 00:30:57.680
And when I was like, what the fuck?
00:30:57.759 --> 00:30:59.519
I just had a period two and a half weeks ago.
00:30:59.759 --> 00:31:01.759
Like, why am I having another period?
00:31:01.920 --> 00:31:03.200
This doesn't make sense.
00:31:03.440 --> 00:31:04.480
That was one red flag.
00:31:04.640 --> 00:31:07.680
Should have known then, didn't catch it yet, but there it was.
00:31:07.920 --> 00:31:10.640
So hot flashes and night sweats, sleep problems.
00:31:10.960 --> 00:31:13.039
We both said that, which is so terrible.
00:31:13.119 --> 00:31:14.799
The waking frequently, that's what I do.
00:31:15.119 --> 00:31:16.799
Mood changes, ding, ding, ding.
00:31:16.880 --> 00:31:17.759
That's my number one.
00:31:17.920 --> 00:31:18.720
Sorry, love.
00:31:18.880 --> 00:31:19.759
Sorry, children.
00:31:19.920 --> 00:31:20.000
Yeah.
00:31:20.160 --> 00:31:21.359
This has been a hot one for me.
00:31:21.599 --> 00:31:30.400
Brain fog, fatigue or changes in energy, headaches or migraines, yes, heart palpitation, breast tenderness, joint and muscle.
00:31:30.880 --> 00:31:32.160
Breast tenderness, yes.
00:31:32.319 --> 00:31:32.880
Oh, yeah.
00:31:33.359 --> 00:31:34.480
See, it's terrible.
00:31:35.200 --> 00:31:38.880
So these muscle and joint aches, I had not heard of this until I listened to this podcast.
00:31:38.960 --> 00:31:44.880
And I was like, oh my goodness, sometimes my hips feel like in so much pain, like they just feel like they're gonna pop out of the socket.
00:31:44.960 --> 00:31:45.680
It's crazy.
00:31:45.839 --> 00:31:46.079
Yeah.
00:31:46.240 --> 00:31:50.799
So there's changes in body composition or weight, particularly increased abdominal fat.
00:31:51.599 --> 00:31:52.160
Yay.
00:31:52.480 --> 00:31:53.440
Go, women.
00:31:53.680 --> 00:31:54.640
So fun.
00:31:55.759 --> 00:32:01.119
Vaginal dryness, burning or irritation, which is another joy.
00:32:01.359 --> 00:32:01.599
Yeah.
00:32:01.759 --> 00:32:03.839
Just such, it's like I'm only 40 years old.
00:32:04.000 --> 00:32:06.160
Why are you drying up the shop already?
00:32:06.559 --> 00:32:06.880
No.
00:32:07.680 --> 00:32:08.640
We all want to know why.
00:32:08.799 --> 00:32:09.519
Yes, I know.
00:32:09.599 --> 00:32:11.680
The shed needs a few more years of use.
00:32:13.359 --> 00:32:15.200
Pain or discomfort.
00:32:15.359 --> 00:32:16.880
Let's see, during sex.
00:32:17.039 --> 00:32:17.359
Yeah.
00:32:17.599 --> 00:32:18.720
Changes in libido.
00:32:19.200 --> 00:32:19.440
Yeah.
00:32:19.599 --> 00:32:21.920
I mean, that's just that's just a headshaker.
00:32:22.000 --> 00:32:23.039
That's just such a bummer.
00:32:23.119 --> 00:32:23.200
Yeah.
00:32:23.440 --> 00:32:25.519
Urinary symptoms and then changes in skin and hair.
00:32:25.680 --> 00:32:27.680
I mean, that is a really exhaustive list.
00:32:27.759 --> 00:32:29.279
There's a ton of things on there.
00:32:29.680 --> 00:32:32.240
Is there any part of our body that's not affected by this?
00:32:32.480 --> 00:32:32.799
No.
00:32:33.440 --> 00:32:39.519
But I think what's funny though, too, like one question to ask ourselves is like, is it rage?
00:32:39.920 --> 00:32:45.519
Or have we have, as women, for like decades, have we been managing like all of it?
00:32:45.599 --> 00:32:50.240
Have we been like everyone, have we like just simply lost our hormonal buffer?
00:32:50.480 --> 00:32:50.799
Right?
00:32:50.960 --> 00:32:53.440
Like, are we just not tolerating it anymore?
00:32:53.759 --> 00:32:57.920
So it's like the hormones are almost there to protect the men around us in our lives.
00:32:58.160 --> 00:33:02.559
And it's like then the filter drops, and you're just like, guess what, motherfucker?
00:33:02.799 --> 00:33:04.559
That's basically I don't give a shit anymore.
00:33:04.799 --> 00:33:06.400
That's basically what I was trying to say at the beginning.
00:33:06.559 --> 00:33:09.839
Like, that's like, I think that's kind of what people are starting to give no fucks.
00:33:10.240 --> 00:33:10.880
Like, exactly.
00:33:11.119 --> 00:33:16.000
I mean, I do say I I will say I get that attitude from a lot of women who are in menopause.
00:33:16.079 --> 00:33:19.519
They're just like, no, mm-mm, you're not gonna tell me what to do anymore.
00:33:19.680 --> 00:33:21.440
I I'm not gonna take this bullshit.
00:33:21.680 --> 00:33:22.160
Yeah, huh?
00:33:22.319 --> 00:33:22.559
All right.
00:33:22.640 --> 00:33:24.799
So maybe it just emboldens you a little bit, you know?
00:33:25.119 --> 00:33:25.359
Yeah.
00:33:25.519 --> 00:33:28.880
Maybe shedding those hormones gets rid of some of the niceties.
00:33:29.200 --> 00:33:30.079
No, I think it does.
00:33:30.160 --> 00:33:42.160
Well, I think, and I think that's there's like um, it's kind of goes into that conversation we're actually having the other day where there's like a demographic of women who are kind of like, wait, I'm I'm kind of done putting up with your shit that I put up with with for 30 years.
00:33:42.319 --> 00:33:43.200
Why am I still here?
00:33:43.359 --> 00:33:47.119
And it it totally emboldens them, and they're like, Deuces, I'm done.
00:33:47.359 --> 00:33:47.759
Bye.
00:33:48.480 --> 00:33:52.160
I mean, I will say the memes are like fantastic.
00:33:52.400 --> 00:33:56.079
And I I think my algorithm hasn't caught on yet that I'm in parrymen halls, which is good.
00:33:56.160 --> 00:33:56.480
That's fine.
00:33:56.559 --> 00:34:08.800
I don't need a ton of it, but I've had friends sending me memes now, you know, whether it's the brain fog and the like the missing words, or if it's just like, did you ever wake up and just look at your husband and just want to sh sock him in the face?
00:34:09.760 --> 00:34:10.880
Welcome to Perryman Hall.
00:34:13.119 --> 00:34:15.039
I want to just freaking sock you.
00:34:15.119 --> 00:34:16.719
It's so hard.
00:34:17.199 --> 00:34:18.480
I just, oh my God.
00:34:18.559 --> 00:34:27.840
I actually had that conversation with my mother-in-law and sister-in-law very awkwardly when we were like on our family reunion because we were talking because they're like, Why aren't you sleeping on, you know, at like Powell?
00:34:28.079 --> 00:34:28.400
Oh, yes.
00:34:28.559 --> 00:34:31.119
Why aren't you sleeping on top of the boat like with everybody else?
00:34:31.360 --> 00:34:33.440
And why are you sleeping like in the hot, you know, boat?
00:34:33.519 --> 00:34:33.840
Yeah.
00:34:34.159 --> 00:34:36.639
Because he snores and my brother-in-law snores.
00:34:36.719 --> 00:34:39.119
And you know, I'm like, this is causing serious marital problems for me.
00:34:39.199 --> 00:34:40.239
Like, I'm not like, you know what I mean?
00:34:40.480 --> 00:34:40.719
No, no.
00:34:41.119 --> 00:34:42.400
But the snoring is a real thing.
00:34:42.559 --> 00:34:45.280
I get now why people slept in separate rooms and separate beds.
00:34:45.519 --> 00:34:45.920
100%.
00:34:46.239 --> 00:34:47.840
And actually, it's pretty common.
00:34:48.000 --> 00:34:53.679
I've talked to several of my coworkers about this because you know, sometimes in between cases, we just talk about life.
00:34:53.760 --> 00:34:54.000
Yeah.
00:34:54.159 --> 00:34:58.239
And there are a lot of married couples out there that do not sleep in the same room.
00:34:58.400 --> 00:35:01.360
Sure, they have a room that they use for intimacy.
00:35:01.760 --> 00:35:02.400
Yeah, intimacy.
00:35:02.800 --> 00:35:06.159
But then it's like when it comes time for sleep, they're like, okay, I've had some snuggles.
00:35:06.239 --> 00:35:10.880
You go to your room, I'm gonna go to my room, and we're both gonna get a good night of sleep in the way that like works best for us.
00:35:11.039 --> 00:35:11.199
Yeah.
00:35:11.360 --> 00:35:13.840
You're a night owl, you stay up late, you do your own thing.
00:35:14.000 --> 00:35:17.440
Yeah, I can't handle the snoring because I get disturbed easily.
00:35:17.519 --> 00:35:19.039
I'm just gonna tuck into my little room.
00:35:19.119 --> 00:35:20.400
So I'm not totally against that.
00:35:20.559 --> 00:35:21.119
Don't you wrong?
00:35:21.199 --> 00:35:22.079
I love sleeping with my husband.
00:35:22.159 --> 00:35:23.360
It's nice waking up next to him.
00:35:23.599 --> 00:35:24.000
For sure.
00:35:24.159 --> 00:35:27.679
He also works night shift though, so half the week I'm not sleeping with him anyway.
00:35:27.760 --> 00:35:32.320
Yeah, you know, there are there are times where I'm like, I just want to take that pillow and just smother you.
00:35:32.800 --> 00:35:37.119
Like it's like it's only when I wake up and I'm just so tired and I've like kicked him like five times.
00:35:37.440 --> 00:35:38.639
Well, and you've got the headache, right?
00:35:38.719 --> 00:35:40.960
Because you wake when you've had enough sleep and you're like, my head hurts.
00:35:41.360 --> 00:35:43.199
I shouldn't have a headache in the middle of the night.
00:35:43.280 --> 00:35:44.239
I should be asleep.
00:35:44.400 --> 00:35:45.679
Yes, you know, exactly.
00:35:46.000 --> 00:35:47.679
Yeah, the snoring is a really hard one.
00:35:47.840 --> 00:35:51.679
And it's it's not any better now that we can't fall asleep because we're in paramenopause.
00:35:51.840 --> 00:35:54.079
So it's like what little sleep we can get is so precious.
00:35:54.239 --> 00:35:54.960
Don't fuck with it.
00:35:55.119 --> 00:35:56.000
Yes, that's exactly right.
00:35:56.079 --> 00:36:00.559
Because I'm like, oh, I've gotten like my just went into that deep sleep, and now you freaking just woke me up.
00:36:00.639 --> 00:36:01.840
And I'm like, what seriously?
00:36:01.920 --> 00:36:06.639
Like it was awful the other day before work because of this lovely stage of life that I'm in.
00:36:06.800 --> 00:36:10.559
I woke up at 2 45, was wide awake, could not go back to sleep.
00:36:10.639 --> 00:36:12.239
Yep, just stayed awake for the rest of the day.
00:36:12.320 --> 00:36:18.320
I I read a book, I watched a show, I listened to a book, I did some online shopping.
00:36:18.480 --> 00:36:21.519
It was like very productive, but also probably very bad judgment.
00:36:21.599 --> 00:36:25.679
Because I was like, I probably shouldn't be shopping when I'm so tired I can't even read the text or the cry.
00:36:26.559 --> 00:36:29.440
Like my eyes are so blurry that I was like, how expensive was that all the time?
00:36:30.079 --> 00:36:30.800
What the fuck were you doing?
00:36:31.039 --> 00:36:32.000
Spending$20,000.
00:36:33.760 --> 00:36:37.679
Is there anything else that we talked about before that we didn't cover?
00:36:37.920 --> 00:36:38.320
Oh, okay.
00:36:38.559 --> 00:36:40.239
I mean, I feel like there's there's so much.
00:36:40.400 --> 00:36:49.760
I think the hard thing with with the hormones and the the perimetopause is trying to find the balance of not feeling crazy, right?
00:36:50.000 --> 00:37:01.679
Because I just I feel like there are some things that are truly related to to life and the legitimacy of being overstressed, overworked, underpaid, all the shit, right?
00:37:01.840 --> 00:37:02.159
Yeah.
00:37:02.320 --> 00:37:06.960
And then there's the hormones, and it's trying to figure out where that line of delineation is, right?
00:37:07.119 --> 00:37:08.960
And figure out what is caused by what.
00:37:09.039 --> 00:37:09.199
Yeah.
00:37:09.440 --> 00:37:13.760
And I think that's a really hard thing as a woman because we're so overtaxed.
00:37:13.920 --> 00:37:17.840
And then it's like, well, is one thing leaning into the other, right?
00:37:17.920 --> 00:37:19.760
Is one thing making another thing worse?
00:37:20.000 --> 00:37:20.639
Oh, for sure.
00:37:20.800 --> 00:37:26.400
And I mean, I definitely want to say that there is always a time and place for mental health care too.
00:37:26.480 --> 00:37:26.719
Yeah.
00:37:26.880 --> 00:37:27.599
Because that is the thing.
00:37:27.760 --> 00:37:29.599
Do you have, is it depression that you have?
00:37:29.679 --> 00:37:30.320
Is it anxiety?
00:37:30.400 --> 00:37:30.559
Yeah.
00:37:30.639 --> 00:37:31.679
Is it perimenopause?
00:37:31.760 --> 00:37:32.800
There is a lot to tease out.
00:37:32.880 --> 00:37:34.320
It could be both at the same time.
00:37:34.400 --> 00:37:38.079
And like you were saying, one is just kind of making the other one more potent now.
00:37:38.159 --> 00:37:38.320
Yeah.
00:37:38.400 --> 00:37:46.079
And so maybe if you had low-lying depression or anxiety before, now you throw in perimenopause and you've just really exacerbated the situation.
00:37:46.320 --> 00:37:46.639
Yeah.
00:37:46.880 --> 00:37:48.159
No, that's true too.
00:37:48.400 --> 00:37:56.639
Also, I'd like to actually go back when you talked to Eric, I think that's also one thing because we go back to the whole, you know, it's never talked about.
00:37:57.280 --> 00:37:59.199
I'm curious to like spouses, right?
00:37:59.360 --> 00:38:00.400
Like for men.
00:38:00.559 --> 00:38:02.000
Like, what do they think of this?
00:38:02.159 --> 00:38:03.599
Like, where does Eric stand?
00:38:03.840 --> 00:38:06.079
I mean, it's been really, it's been a challenge.
00:38:06.239 --> 00:38:13.039
I mean, because, right, some of my symptoms, like the mood instability where I'm like very tearful or where I'm very irrational.
00:38:13.280 --> 00:38:14.639
Like that takes a toll on him.
00:38:14.719 --> 00:38:18.480
That's really hard because I come at him essentially for no reason.
00:38:18.800 --> 00:38:26.719
For me, one of the things that's really challenging for me, and I'm just gonna be completely vulnerable here, is that I have a lot of insecurities that I have worked through really well with counseling.
00:38:26.800 --> 00:38:34.320
And that was one of the things that became unmanageable with these mood changes, was that my insecurities came like rushing back.
00:38:34.960 --> 00:38:36.639
And I was like, Yeah, I don't understand.
00:38:36.719 --> 00:38:39.360
I've had these under such good control the last couple of years.
00:38:39.519 --> 00:38:42.079
Why are these now coming to head and in such a big way?
00:38:42.239 --> 00:38:42.400
Yeah.
00:38:42.559 --> 00:38:45.119
And so when things like that come out, it's really hard for him.
00:38:45.280 --> 00:38:47.599
He's been really great, he's been supportive, but it is tough.
00:38:47.679 --> 00:38:49.199
He just doesn't understand.
00:38:49.519 --> 00:38:51.760
So, like, I very much appreciate him listening to me.
00:38:51.920 --> 00:38:56.880
When I told him how discouraged I was after my doctor's appointment, he was very supportive and helpful.
00:38:57.039 --> 00:39:03.679
And when I told him how comforted I felt by finding this podcast that really just told me, You're not crazy.
00:39:04.000 --> 00:39:05.199
He was happy for me.
00:39:05.519 --> 00:39:09.280
But so he just he doesn't get it, he can't understand it.
00:39:09.440 --> 00:39:15.599
He doesn't understand what it is like to have your body and your brain feel like they're turning against you.
00:39:15.760 --> 00:39:16.719
Yeah, totally failing.
00:39:16.800 --> 00:39:20.079
Yeah, yeah, and just making you do things that you don't want to do.
00:39:20.239 --> 00:39:22.239
Yeah, it's like I don't want to be unhappy.
00:39:22.320 --> 00:39:25.760
I don't want to self-myself making these decisions that I'm not making.
00:39:26.000 --> 00:39:30.880
Like, I don't want to sabotage my relationship, I don't want to be upset with my children.
00:39:31.039 --> 00:39:32.719
Like, these are not things I want.
00:39:32.960 --> 00:39:33.199
Yeah.
00:39:33.360 --> 00:39:38.320
So it it in a way it really felt like my body was turning on me, which was really discouraging.
00:39:38.639 --> 00:39:41.039
So yeah, what's kind of been your experience?
00:39:41.440 --> 00:39:45.679
Well, I mean, I I haven't even really dove into that with my husband.
00:39:45.760 --> 00:39:49.280
I feel like unfortunately, like we're so busy, I have like we don't even have time to talk about anything.
00:39:49.440 --> 00:39:49.599
Yeah.
00:39:49.840 --> 00:39:53.599
So like my question would be what's the proper support for us?
00:39:53.679 --> 00:39:56.880
Like, how does a spouse support somebody in this situation, right?
00:39:56.960 --> 00:39:58.320
Like, is it through conversation?
00:39:58.480 --> 00:39:59.440
Is it through act?
00:39:59.760 --> 00:40:06.880
Like what well, this is something I talked about with my counselor and found really helpful because I told her it's gonna be a few months that I'm trying to figure this out.
00:40:07.039 --> 00:40:18.159
So I have an appointment coming up in a couple of weeks with a women's health specific clinic where they have an OBG Wayne, and this is their specialty is working with women through menopause and perimenopause.
00:40:18.400 --> 00:40:22.079
And so I'm super excited, but they were booked up because they're the only ones in the entire county.
00:40:22.480 --> 00:40:23.440
You know, they're the only ones in the whole center.
00:40:23.599 --> 00:40:24.719
Only one is only one.
00:40:24.880 --> 00:40:26.159
Only one, only one center.
00:40:26.239 --> 00:40:28.400
So you have to get on a waiting list to meet with them.
00:40:28.559 --> 00:40:28.800
Yeah.
00:40:29.039 --> 00:40:32.000
So I told her, How am I supposed to manage in the interim?
00:40:32.239 --> 00:40:34.159
I can't push this poor man away.
00:40:34.239 --> 00:40:35.920
I can't have these issues with him.
00:40:36.400 --> 00:40:45.119
And so that was we talked about support strategies, like in those moments when you are irritable, have a conversation with him and tell them, I'm gonna need you to help out with the kids so I don't blow up on you and the kids.
00:40:45.440 --> 00:40:53.280
Or in these moments when I feel just completely out of control with my moods or emotions, I need you to understand you you need to let me tap out.
00:40:53.440 --> 00:41:02.800
And so you do, I think the strategy that she and I came up with that I presented to him, which he was very open to was I'm gonna do my very best to recognize what's going on with me.
00:41:02.880 --> 00:41:13.920
And I am gonna ask you for help and I'm going to need you to help me because I think this is very important for our relationship and for the kids that in these moments when I am struggling, that I am just able to get some space.
00:41:14.159 --> 00:41:14.480
Got it.
00:41:14.559 --> 00:41:15.519
So it's communicating.
00:41:15.599 --> 00:41:19.760
So you're communicating about what's happening with you and your hormones and your body.
00:41:20.239 --> 00:41:29.199
And it kind of sucks because I hate having to just like I always just feel like I'm kind of unloading this thing on him or like burdening him with my issues, but it's like that's his job.
00:41:29.440 --> 00:41:30.800
Well, we're in a partnership together, right?
00:41:30.960 --> 00:41:32.239
And we're raising these kids together.
00:41:32.480 --> 00:41:34.960
So like my well-being is very it's linked.
00:41:35.119 --> 00:41:36.800
Everything's absolutely top priority.
00:41:37.119 --> 00:41:38.239
And that's very much his approach.
00:41:38.320 --> 00:41:38.480
Yeah.
00:41:38.559 --> 00:41:39.440
That's a major approach.
00:41:39.519 --> 00:41:41.519
The guilt I feel is just like on my own.
00:41:41.679 --> 00:41:41.840
Yes.
00:41:41.920 --> 00:41:43.760
That's what that's not anything he's ever put on.
00:41:44.079 --> 00:41:48.320
Yeah, no, that's that's part of being, I think, a woman and where we have to remove that from ourselves.
00:41:48.480 --> 00:41:50.559
That is a definitely an us thing and not a them.
00:41:50.800 --> 00:41:57.440
Because I think as a true partnership, which you guys have, is like that that is a gift for any partner, right?
00:41:57.519 --> 00:42:02.000
That they would be able to give that gift and be able to like have that person lean on them, right?
00:42:02.079 --> 00:42:06.239
Like if Nate needed something, I'd be happy to like be that person that he's gonna be able to do.
00:42:06.480 --> 00:42:09.760
Pick up the slack where he needs it to or support him when he needs a moment.
00:42:10.239 --> 00:42:10.719
Exactly, right?
00:42:10.800 --> 00:42:15.360
And so that's like there's like an ebb and flow in relationships, I think, for those kind of things.
00:42:15.519 --> 00:42:18.639
And that's why you choose to be in a partnership, right, in life.
00:42:18.880 --> 00:42:20.400
Otherwise, like, what's the point?
00:42:20.719 --> 00:42:22.079
No, definitely.
00:42:22.239 --> 00:42:24.239
Yeah, I mean, it's a lot to navigate.
00:42:24.400 --> 00:42:28.880
I will say navigating it with the girls is a lot more helpful because they can get it.
00:42:28.960 --> 00:42:34.239
And I am so happy that I have found a few women now who are going through this, so I have someone I can talk to.
00:42:34.559 --> 00:42:40.800
Because I will say, before when I was reaching out to friends and just no one was there with me, I just felt really alone.
00:42:40.960 --> 00:42:41.280
Yeah.
00:42:41.440 --> 00:42:51.599
Speaking of girls, I will say it is definitely, I'd say deeply unfair to be going through perimetapause when I have children going through puberty at the same time.
00:42:52.159 --> 00:42:52.719
Yes.
00:42:52.960 --> 00:42:54.159
That is a challenge.
00:42:54.400 --> 00:42:56.800
Yeah, that's just set the house on fire.
00:42:56.960 --> 00:42:57.199
Yeah.
00:42:57.280 --> 00:43:00.480
Yeah, that definitely blows shit up with everyone's hormones.
00:43:00.800 --> 00:43:02.559
Yeah, that can definitely be a little tough.
00:43:02.719 --> 00:43:12.480
I feel like I am blessed in the respect that like my oldest is not nearly as hormonal, but my second is such a sweet, tender-hearted kid.
00:43:12.719 --> 00:43:14.239
But the hormones are heating up.
00:43:14.400 --> 00:43:21.519
Well, it's like I feel like he always thinks like but there's always something that I do that he feels like is a like personal attack against him.
00:43:21.679 --> 00:43:26.480
And I'm always like, bro, like I've I don't know what I'm doing that makes you like so mad, you know.
00:43:26.559 --> 00:43:29.599
So we just have like a very, I don't know, we have a very interesting relationship.
00:43:30.000 --> 00:43:30.639
Just like right now.
00:43:30.719 --> 00:43:36.719
And so I feel like then I'm sensitive and he's sensitive, or I get pissed off and he gets so I feel like we're this like right now.
00:43:36.880 --> 00:43:39.440
I'm like, this would be so great if one of us could level off.
00:43:39.599 --> 00:43:52.000
I mean, honestly, I'm really hoping I get through this parameters or at least get on appropriate hormones before my daughter enters enters adolescence because that could be really tricky for the men in our household.
00:43:52.159 --> 00:43:52.480
Oh, yeah.
00:43:52.639 --> 00:43:57.119
That could be I mean it would be it would be challenging for them to navigate, and it'd be really hard for me and her to navigate.
00:43:57.199 --> 00:43:57.440
Yeah.
00:43:57.679 --> 00:43:59.840
Trying to like have these opposed, these moods.
00:44:00.559 --> 00:44:02.960
The mood swings together would be a lot.
00:44:03.119 --> 00:44:03.360
Yeah.
00:44:03.519 --> 00:44:15.519
So I'm my goal is to within the next six months to have some sort of treatment, whether you know it's like that topical vaginal cream or some sort of progesterone pill with like a little estrogen patch.
00:44:15.679 --> 00:44:15.760
Sure.
00:44:15.920 --> 00:44:19.679
Whatever it is, I'm just hoping I can find something that works for me.
00:44:19.920 --> 00:44:20.239
Yeah.
00:44:20.480 --> 00:44:26.400
That's uh that's like the the old jokes, you know, that the men used to make it like the duck and cover, right?
00:44:26.480 --> 00:44:31.039
The girls are on, you know, in the house, but also like it's funny, but it's not funny.
00:44:31.199 --> 00:44:31.519
Yeah.
00:44:31.679 --> 00:44:35.920
I will actually say, just as a quick note before we wrap this up, it was funny.
00:44:36.079 --> 00:44:42.719
My husband, because I've talked to my kids a little bit about like my period and PMS and just how sometimes I'm a little bit extra irritable.
00:44:42.800 --> 00:44:45.840
I'm so sorry, but we all need to work together to keep peace in the house.
00:44:46.159 --> 00:44:54.719
And the other day, my husband was talking to my son about periods and how like mom is gonna have some emotional issues and maybe one day our daughter will.
00:44:54.960 --> 00:44:56.320
And he was like super sweet about it.
00:44:56.480 --> 00:44:58.639
He's like, Yeah, we just we're gonna support them.
00:44:58.800 --> 00:45:00.320
We're just gonna be really loving to them.
00:45:00.400 --> 00:45:06.400
We're gonna try and give them the things that they need, help them feel comfortable, and just understand that it's gonna pass, it's gonna be okay.
00:45:06.559 --> 00:45:10.639
Yeah, you know, it's it's just a little cycle that we just we're there to help them through.
00:45:10.800 --> 00:45:13.199
We don't ever tell them, wow, you must be on your period.
00:45:13.440 --> 00:45:15.119
So we're we never tell them things like that.
00:45:15.280 --> 00:45:16.480
Well, I was like, great.
00:45:16.719 --> 00:45:21.760
Very happy you had this conversation with him, but thanks for teaching him some of this stuff.
00:45:22.079 --> 00:45:33.199
Okay, so before we wrap up though, I do want to shout out for anyone who wants extra resources or just needs to hear the affirmation of professional women, Stanford Menopause Podcast.
00:45:33.280 --> 00:45:38.800
It's available on Apple Podcasts, not a sponsor, but they were really great for me.
00:45:38.960 --> 00:45:44.559
They're two wonderful female physicians who specialize in women's health care and the aging process.
00:45:44.639 --> 00:45:50.480
And I would highly recommend giving them a listen if you're just kind of starting to walk down this road and you you want to know a little more.
00:45:50.719 --> 00:45:50.960
Yeah.
00:45:51.119 --> 00:45:57.760
Well, and it's probably a great resource to help you realize that you're not weak, you're not traumatic, you're not broken, you're not crazy, right?
00:45:57.840 --> 00:46:02.880
Like and that there are treatment options, that there are ways to tackle this and make the situation better.
00:46:02.960 --> 00:46:05.840
And like you were saying, it's not always medications and hormone therapy.
00:46:05.920 --> 00:46:16.960
There are other ways to optimize your life, whether it's a diet, working on adjusting your activities of daily living so that you are just really optimizing your own health and well-being.
00:46:17.199 --> 00:46:17.599
For sure.
00:46:17.679 --> 00:46:26.159
Well, and I think it's great to have a legitimate resource like that, because like we talked about, there's actually a lot of not a lot.
00:46:26.320 --> 00:46:27.519
It's actually the opposite of a lot.
00:46:27.679 --> 00:46:32.079
There's a lack of resources on the medical side and there's a lot of dismissal.
00:46:32.239 --> 00:46:40.480
And so if you can have that as a resource and use that to advocate for yourself, because to your point, both of us, you know, we probably started our research online.
00:46:40.800 --> 00:46:41.519
What's wrong with us?
00:46:41.599 --> 00:46:43.039
And now everyone's probably using AI.
00:46:43.119 --> 00:46:43.760
What's wrong with me?
00:46:44.000 --> 00:46:44.320
Oh, yeah.
00:46:44.559 --> 00:46:49.519
I'm sure AI's out there doing the Lord's work to advance women with carry menopause.
00:46:50.159 --> 00:46:54.639
Probably teeth, boots wings, chaty bees working overtime.
00:46:54.960 --> 00:46:55.440
Exactly.
00:46:55.519 --> 00:46:55.760
Yeah.
00:46:55.920 --> 00:46:56.239
Oh man.
00:46:56.320 --> 00:47:01.119
But at least it's always like very reassuring and polite when it's telling you, you're right, that does sound really distressing.
00:47:01.920 --> 00:47:03.280
Built-in personal therapists.
00:47:03.360 --> 00:47:04.480
Yes, exactly.
00:47:05.599 --> 00:47:10.639
All right, friends and listeners, if you are going through any of this, just know you're not alone.
00:47:10.880 --> 00:47:13.599
Know the girls and messy as hell are right there with you.
00:47:13.840 --> 00:47:20.159
And if you ever have any questions or anything you want us to talk about in here, please drop it in the comments.
00:47:20.320 --> 00:47:25.599
Leave us a review and tell us what you want to hear more of, what was helpful for you, or where we need to go next.
00:47:26.079 --> 00:47:28.000
And we hope you'll be back with us next week.
00:47:28.320 --> 00:47:30.239
Thanks for listening to Messy as Hell.
00:47:30.400 --> 00:47:32.800
Until next time, stay messy.