WEBVTT
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Welcome to Menopause Mixtape.
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Life got weird and we hit record.
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Hi, this is Menopause Mixtape.
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Yes, this is Aaron Donnelly, your host with my other host, Michelle McFadden.
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Well, we are here in our inaugural episode.
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Oh, nice word.
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Nice word.
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I was trying to be spiritual.
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It's gonna be since I can't remember any words with our first episode of Menopause Mixtape.
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Welcome along for the ride, ladies and gentlemen.
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I'm gonna tell you, we're going without a map.
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So off-roading, if you will.
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We will, just kind of like menopause, really, and perimenopause.
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So we thought we would stay authentic.
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We can't do anything but be authentic.
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Let's let's be truthful.
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Right.
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So maybe some ground rules.
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Uh we will probably swear people and fair.
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At times say things that might be a little, I don't know, off-color.
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Blue.
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Yeah, a little, and also, yeah, we're pretty vulnerable, to be very honest with you.
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We're going to probably talk about our families.
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Probably going to talk about our jobs.
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A lot.
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A lot.
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Yeah, but we're not going to tell you like where we work or what we do, sort of, but you'll probably be able to guess.
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And um, because we're coming to you as two human women, right?
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Not our careers.
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Couldn't be more human.
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Exactly.
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Not our careers, not as mothers, not as daughters, sisters, whatever.
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We're just us.
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And this is what you're gonna get when you get this podcast.
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So if you want to tune in or you haven't switched the channel yet, then yeah, you're in for a ride.
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I can't wait.
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Right?
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Strap in, people.
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Let's strap in.
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Um, so for our first episode, we thought a great introduction would be yesterday was Michelle's 47th birthday.
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Oh my goodness.
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Is there a less sexy age you can turn than 47?
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I I can't think of a number that is less enticing than the number 47.
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It rolls off the tongue.
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Maybe, but it there's no context to it.
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You're not, oh, the big 4-0 or the big 5-0, or you're not, you're you're just in this weird middle ground, not unlike every single thing in my life right now, where there's no special place held for you because you're 47.
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There's no great big milestone that you're going to reach because you're 47.
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In fact, it almost feels like the birthday that never was.
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Well, if it's any consolation, me being the elder of 49, um you're one year closer to menopause, fully menopausal.
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Girl, counting down the weeks, the days, the minutes.
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Well, don't get too excited, too, because like as a gift on your birthday, I haven't had my period in almost a year.
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And no, it was as a gift, I got my period again.
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Let me tell you a little story, girlfriend.
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Same's.
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Okay, so we are in sync.
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This is we're not just in sync the band.
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The band.
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We're like in sync in our in our men's.
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Yes, samesies.
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Yeah.
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Okay, okay.
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I I thought about it.
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I was nine months and then happy birthday.
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Right.
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There's a leak in your roof, which we don't need to talk about, but also here's a leak in your basement.
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Right.
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Okay.
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You're just a leaky boat.
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Is the yeah.
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So yeah, had a lot of awakenings around the meaningless birthday of 47.
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Had a lot of uh, you know, what is my purpose?
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What is my being?
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And where do I go from here?
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Like, I've got kids that are teenagers, I've got a husband that's over 50.
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So he's he's laughing at me from the milestone on high and saying, ha ha, just wait till it's your turn.
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And I really can't gather my thoughts around where where am I at exactly?
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I guess this is midlife.
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Yeah.
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Right?
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But like midlife feels a little like purgatory.
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Oh, like if I were to describe how midlife has been for me, and I'm not speaking for everybody, no, but it's been like kind of a like like everybody talks about this blissful menopause, like when is it happening?
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Like the actual act of like never having to worry about the period again, but also just like feeling this like zero fucks and like oh so free, and my hair will be like frizzy, but I don't care and I love moo moos, like that phase, right?
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And or there's like the fit people.
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I don't know who I'm not that one, but I I am envious of them.
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But the whole thing is that like from 38, I would say, yeah, and still going on the nose, yeah.
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Yeah, it it has felt like more like purgatory, not to bring religion into this, but like it is is neither hell nor heaven, heaven, because a lot of the time I just feel numb.
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Correct correct, and I would call it almost a wash, right?
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Like I I hit 38, I felt like I was thriving, I hit 40, I actually was, I had a moment of zero fucks given.
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Yep, a hundred percent.
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Oh, aren't you upset you're turning 40?
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Hell no, I actually don't give a fuck about anything anymore.
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As I've slipped into my mid-40s, nay tipping into my late 40s now.
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I don't there's no gusto, there's no fervor to it.
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I don't, I don't even give a fuck that I don't give a fuck.
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It's not as exciting.
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And then on top of it all, you are on this watch for what people have referred to as the golden years.
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Right.
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Um, and as you said, this I want to call it a utopia of life without periods and kids that are fully grown and jobs that you can retire from, and all of these sort of greener pastures.
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And here I am in the middle of my kids are never going to grow up.
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I'm never going to retire.
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And the pasture is deceased at this point.
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It's a bit of a dust bowl in more way than one, right?
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Like, can we just for a minute?
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Honestly, if I can go there, you know, how do you celebrate your 47th birthday?
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You know, do you want to have a kiss on a cuddle with your significant other?
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No, don't actually don't touch me.
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And no, you know what?
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In fact, don't even talk to me.
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Um, I I don't my kids want to wish me a happy birthday.
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You know what?
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It's don't.
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It's fine.
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You know what?
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I'm actually probably just fine if you just leave me alone to my thoughts.
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I today is day one 47, day two, and I'm still in a birthday hangover, so I might be being a titch on the negative side.
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Well, you did have a leaky roof.
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I did have a leaky roof and a leaky basement.
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I'm never forgetting that term as long as we live.
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So, which is uh shorter than it was when we first met each other.
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Um, so basically, absolutely I I'm in a little bit different position.
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I'm only like two small years older than you, but I have got kids that are like now in their 20, well, in their 20th year and a 17-year-old.
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And that's it comes with its own bowl of problems or challenges.
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I shouldn't say problems, it's more challenges, I guess.
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But the the issue is that I have at this age is that I don't actually have the like the resilience as the therapists like to say, or the TikToks.
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I don't have the resilience.
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I have more of like just this like are you kidding me?
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Yeah, are we done?
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We're done.
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You're done.
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Right.
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Like, I'm like, well, okay, like the 17-year-old, to be very honest with you, great kid, honestly, is a great kid.
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Sass through the nose, he's me in that way, but and I love him for all the things that he is.
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But like he gets away with so much more because I just I don't I he's like, I'm gonna be out till this.
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Like, he doesn't even say, can I go out?
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I'm like, You're going out?
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Yep.
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Oh, okay.
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Like, I okay.
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I don't understand when when did my 15-year-old son become the boss of me?
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That's what I mean, and when at what point I did I missed it, I missed the shift.
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Maybe I was asleep, ret having a nap, because I now can't get through the day without a reset, as I like to call it, because my hormone-depleted body can't actually pull an all-dayer anymore at all.
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No, so maybe I slept through it, but I missed the part where the world said to me, Okay, your 15-year-old son is now the boss.
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He's gonna tell you where he's going, he's gonna tell you what's gonna happen.
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There's no asking, no, just hey brah.
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Oh, yeah, brah.
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Hey brah.
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Bruh, hey brah.
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Can I, hey brah, uh, I'll be at Aaron's tonight.
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Hey, oh, I don't want to use names.
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Shit.
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My name's Aaron.
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Oh, okay.
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There we go.
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Right.
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It doesn't really matter.
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Right.
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You know?
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So I'm in the in the well of trying to figure out you're you've gotten to the not post-teenage years, but the late teenage years.
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And the question I have here is am I gonna survive?
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I feel like you being alive is evidence that I will survive.
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And to what does it end?
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No, does it transform?
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I would like to formally apologize to my eldest child uh at this moment, actually.
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Um, because like I do realize that I had much more energy to like I'm not gonna use the word police them, but like to guide them.
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Like, you know, and like in in bowling, there's like those bumper thingies.
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Like I was more of that person.
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Like my kid, I feel like my kids still had like their own agency and they could make a lot of decisions because they're they are really good kids, but like no, with my youngest, I'm just like, meh, you're you're like as long as like you're I have the the tracking on the phone, and like that's all he has to say.
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Well, you can see where that where I am.
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I'm like, okay, well, that's very true.
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But here we are just saddling along with like bruh, I don't owe you an explanation.
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We have life 360.
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That doesn't help me, that doesn't help me not be a terrified parent of a teenage person, and then when I do like finally sum up the energy to like put my foot down, no brah.
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Then I get the you're crashing out.
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Yeah, why are you why don't crash out, right?
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Oh my god, you're crashing out.
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Like, okay, okay, but like sometimes like there was a time I remember clearly because it was devastating, that my children through COVID were like, Mom, we want to sit you down, and we think that you have like borderline personality disorder.
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I'm sorry.
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So why this happened was because that morning, after a long week of telling my children, please bring your dishes down to the kitchen.
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Um, because like COVID, there was like no rules.
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Like you want to eat in your room, like you want to socialize on your computer while you eat your dinner, like 100%.
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Like, okay, whatever, whatever.
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But um, absolutely like I was like, I just wanted to like I wanted to take a Tylenol or an Advil or something, and I needed a glass of water.
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And I opened the cover, and all that's there is like the kindergarten cook that my kid made me like as an ashtray.
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And so like I fill it with water, and there's like just water leaking on my chest, like it's a whole thing.
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And I was just like, you know what, guys, I need the dishes, and so I made yes, absolutely.
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I would have been what you would call crashing out, yeah, and but like the dishes got brought down.
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Like, let's be real.
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Why do you drive us to this point?
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Right, and so they had now TikTok had just recently come out, and borderline personality disorder was something that was trending, right?
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So it was like, and again, uh this is no shade to people with with borderline personality disorder.
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Absolutely not.
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I absolutely have so much respect.
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It was when it became this like way they weaponized it on people who, especially, I'm going to say, like moms, who would be like asking a thousand times in their kindest, most begging manner, yeah, to just do what we ask.
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Yeah, and then when we crash out, as they say, they then weaponize something that they've watched on TikTok, yeah, which is a very serious mental health condition.
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And then they're like, we need to sit you down.
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And I was like, I'm gonna tell you a little story, children.
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Let me weave you a tale.
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Yeah.
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And that was their first like being trapped in this house.
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We do not have a mansion, we have a Tommy cottage.
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Being like trapped in this house with a mom who was like so overstimulated.
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What I didn't know was in perimenopause.
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Yes, because you couldn't even access a doctor.
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No, and not that they would have been able to help you anyway.
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No, actually.
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We'll touch on that later.
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But like, but like I'm trapped in this house with these kids, and I'm like losing my mind because things just feel harder.
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And so, yes, absolutely.
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They did they weaponize something that they watched on TikTok, but it did start me down to be very fair, it did start me down a very interesting path about my moods at the beginning of my perimenopause journey.
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I don't, yeah, I I think that with our two-year age difference and you know, just fluctuations between humans here and there, you know, we we were at different points in our lives when perimenopause hit me versus when it sort of hit you, or I it it's not even hit.
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It's like it sneaks slyly in on the side and then suddenly it's there.
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Um, so I was probably my kids were a little bit younger when I when I started to experience penis.
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So they didn't have the tools to use TikTok to then go and weaponize a mental health disorder and have a sit-down with me.
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They wanted me to still be bubbly, you know, super high-energy mom who organized everything and made sure everything coordinated and lined up and was just go, go, go all the time, as my body was like, absolutely fucking not.
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Yeah.
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Sit down.
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And my brain couldn't organize it anymore.
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I I didn't, I, you know, I was the mom who was making her own alphabet cards to teach kids how to spell and their letters and creating poster boards and pinteresting the shit out of every learning game I could possibly get my hands on.
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And then suddenly I'm exhausted and they're disappointed.
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Right.
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Without the language to tell me that they're disappointed.
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I mean, at least I mean, maybe your kids shouldn't have sat you down and tried to diagnose you from the DSM, but like maybe Yeah, but they were not wrong.
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Like they were using language that they they saw on TikTok something that represented, because again, it was like back then, I think only a 30-second clip where people were explaining these mental health conditions, but like legitimately it was how they could find language to explain why I was acting the way that I was, which then though, piling on mom guilt, I was like, oh god, like, is there an issue that I don't like because COVID brought out so many issues that we like and you would know from before COVID, I was that mom who like would hold these giant movie nights in my backyard with 30 children, no listener, and never ever ever got overwhelmed by so many kids.
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No, hear me now.
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Honestly, this woman is like a machine to the point where it's exhausting to watch.
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And you, you know what, you know, those women that you sometimes will hold yourself up against and think, my God, I could never that she's that lady who you just think there's no way.
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One correction, she was that lady, and so I can see where her kids would, if she suddenly decided to quote unquote crash out over not having a drinking glass.
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Yes, I can see where they'd be like, there was a hundred kids in our backyard with 50 different types of marshmallows melted on their faces and you didn't bat an eyelash.
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Right.
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And now you want a drinking glass and you can't cope with the lack of a drinking glass.
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Right.
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Mom, what's happened?
00:17:54.480 --> 00:17:54.960
Exactly.
00:17:55.200 --> 00:17:57.359
Mom, what's where what's going on?
00:17:57.599 --> 00:17:57.839
Yes.
00:17:58.000 --> 00:18:07.599
And uh our kids, unfortunately, and even us, I think I'm gonna step and say at that time, we didn't even have the language to say, I think I'm in perimenopause.
00:18:07.839 --> 00:18:10.319
No, in fact, I was chasing a diagnosis.
00:18:10.400 --> 00:18:14.160
Remember, I was like reaching out and because it was COVID, it was all over the phone.
00:18:14.319 --> 00:18:14.559
Yeah.
00:18:14.799 --> 00:18:17.039
So I got diagnosed with with depression.
00:18:17.119 --> 00:18:20.480
I got diagnosed with like they tested me for Crohn's.
00:18:20.559 --> 00:18:21.359
No, not Crohn's.
00:18:21.440 --> 00:18:22.960
What's the one with the hump on my back?
00:18:23.200 --> 00:18:25.599
Well, okay, Crohn's is so far away from the city.
00:18:25.759 --> 00:18:26.799
No, I know about half Crohn.
00:18:26.880 --> 00:18:28.319
They've tested me for Crohn's at the same time.
00:18:28.480 --> 00:18:35.279
But again, we're getting we can't even talk about the gastro issues that are perimetopause, but um, one of the thousands of symptoms.
00:18:35.519 --> 00:18:37.279
No, the one, see, this is what happened.
00:18:37.440 --> 00:18:38.079
I have no memory.
00:18:38.240 --> 00:18:41.759
No, my memory is foggy, and they'd be like, oh, it's COVID because everybody's in the house.
00:18:41.920 --> 00:18:43.839
I'm like, no, I literally can't remember anything.
00:18:44.079 --> 00:18:58.319
I guess, yeah, like if you hit perimetopause when COVID was happening, a lot of your symptoms would have been mislabeled or gone unchecked because it would have been, oh, it's because we're on lockdown, it's because we're on COVID.
00:18:58.559 --> 00:18:58.799
Absolutely.
00:18:59.119 --> 00:19:00.720
Kids aren't in school, da-da-da-da-da.
00:19:01.039 --> 00:19:03.759
So you're losing your ever-loving mind.
00:19:04.000 --> 00:19:04.400
Right.
00:19:04.720 --> 00:19:07.599
Because you're trapped in a box.
00:19:07.759 --> 00:19:08.079
Yes.
00:19:08.240 --> 00:19:10.000
With a mask on your hot face.
00:19:10.319 --> 00:19:12.960
And I'm trying to homeschool my children.
00:19:13.200 --> 00:19:14.960
Oh, Christ on a cracker.
00:19:15.119 --> 00:19:20.000
I oh, I also did not mean to bring religion into this, but here he sits on a cracker.
00:19:20.160 --> 00:19:20.720
Yes.
00:19:20.960 --> 00:19:26.720
Like I so for the audience out there, I do work in healthcare.
00:19:26.799 --> 00:19:35.200
And so during COVID, I I was, I want to say lucky, but that's a terrible way to put it.
00:19:35.279 --> 00:19:38.559
But I I was the person who was essential and was going to work.
00:19:38.799 --> 00:19:45.039
Yes, my my partner at the time too, he's still my partner, but he we were just starting when COVID hit.
00:19:45.119 --> 00:19:45.359
Yeah.
00:19:45.599 --> 00:19:50.160
But he also was essential, and his mental health like was alive and well.
00:19:50.319 --> 00:19:51.440
Yeah, no, mine stood up.
00:19:51.680 --> 00:19:55.839
Not that your mental health wasn't challenged by also being out there, especially in healthcare.
00:19:56.160 --> 00:19:56.720
Totally different.
00:19:56.960 --> 00:20:03.279
But it but it was like, but you still got to socialize, you still had like supports, and like it was it's different.
00:20:03.519 --> 00:20:15.279
The world was turning, and I wasn't in a box where if I started to crash out or have symptoms such as brain fog, hot flashes, bowel irritability, we could go on.
00:20:15.519 --> 00:20:21.759
Um I wasn't detached from the ability to go, why is this happening to me?
00:20:22.000 --> 00:20:28.799
Whereas you were in a situation where no matter what your symptom was, someone was gonna say to you, Well, it's it's lockdown, it's COVID.
00:20:29.039 --> 00:20:29.200
Right.
00:20:29.279 --> 00:20:31.279
And the name just came to me, Cushings.
00:20:31.440 --> 00:20:32.720
They thought I had Cushings.
00:20:33.359 --> 00:20:34.400
That's close to Crohn's.
00:20:34.559 --> 00:20:37.200
Um at all, but it's you know what I mean.
00:20:37.279 --> 00:20:41.359
But it's so cushions because again, the weight gain.
00:20:41.759 --> 00:20:46.319
So they were fearful that I was gaining weight at such a rapid pace.
00:20:46.400 --> 00:20:48.640
But again, this was all over Zoom.
00:20:49.279 --> 00:21:01.599
And so that something was going on with my body that was uh it was like either I was eating too much of the homemade bread that I was making, or that it was like, you know, this cushion.
00:21:01.680 --> 00:21:06.480
So I had to do all this testing and it was crazy, but it was and then it turned out nope, not cushions.
00:21:06.559 --> 00:21:08.319
And I was like shocking, you know.
00:21:08.720 --> 00:21:15.920
You know, here here we are, like you're made to believe or led down a path where you could potentially have a life-altering diagnosis.
00:21:18.559 --> 00:21:39.119
Right, like you you're being led down this crazy pathway of you know, everything is in detriment, everything is in detriment when there was probably 50 touch points with the healthcare system where you could where someone could have just said, Oh, girl, you this is perimenopause.
00:21:39.359 --> 00:21:39.519
Right?
00:21:39.599 --> 00:21:40.559
What's your period like?
00:21:40.799 --> 00:21:42.960
No one, not one person asked me, right?
00:21:43.039 --> 00:21:46.799
It's almost like women don't exist, like we're gonna have to go back to this.
00:21:47.039 --> 00:21:49.599
Oh, don't worry, I will be on my feminist soapbox a lot.
00:21:49.759 --> 00:21:59.680
But but literally, as if you go into the medical system, where whether you're going to a primary care provider, whether you're going into a walk in clinic, whatever it is that you're doing.
00:22:00.240 --> 00:22:17.440
And not one person at those touch points is saying, you know, instead of catastrophizing this whole thing and seeing it trying to rule out cushions, why don't we if you hear hooves, ladies and gentlemen, I think the lessons we've learned in the last couple of years is think horses.
00:22:17.519 --> 00:22:18.000
Yes.
00:22:18.160 --> 00:22:20.400
And you were being fed zebras all day long.
00:22:20.640 --> 00:22:31.279
Well, and because I had such high cortisol because of the stress and all the things that were going on because of COVID, I did have that herbinger's hump or whatever on the back of my neck, super sad.
00:22:31.680 --> 00:22:33.519
Somebody tell me what the actual name of this is.
00:22:33.680 --> 00:22:35.039
That is my it's something like that.
00:22:35.119 --> 00:22:35.680
It doesn't matter.
00:22:35.839 --> 00:22:38.799
The point is, is that it's very often associated with cushing.
00:22:38.960 --> 00:22:41.519
So like they were like, You have this is the best part too.
00:22:41.680 --> 00:22:43.440
Like, don't check my hormones or anything.
00:22:43.599 --> 00:22:43.759
No.
00:22:43.920 --> 00:22:45.599
I had like facial hair.
00:22:45.839 --> 00:22:46.240
Yes.
00:22:46.480 --> 00:22:48.720
I had my hair on my head was falling out.
00:22:49.039 --> 00:22:49.279
Check.
00:22:49.440 --> 00:22:54.000
And they were like, well, your thyroid is on the low end of normal, but it's still normal.
00:22:54.160 --> 00:23:00.799
Um, which I've come to know now is like kind of a bit of a misnomer because they don't test all the parts of your thyroid.
00:23:00.960 --> 00:23:08.400
Um, and then they were like, Oh, you have like terrible, you know, weight gain around your belly and blah, blah, blah.
00:23:08.480 --> 00:23:13.680
And then I was like, so they actually sent me to an endocrinologist after a lot of protesting, right?
00:23:14.079 --> 00:23:20.960
Where he basically was like, if you just wait long enough, we can put you on like metformin and insulin.
00:23:21.440 --> 00:23:21.599
Right.
00:23:21.759 --> 00:23:29.119
So just get a little bit sicker and then and then we'll just put some chemicals and horm bioidenticals into your body and we'll see if we can't write.
00:23:29.599 --> 00:23:37.279
Again, why are we getting all the way to an endocrinologist without somebody saying, How old are you?
00:23:37.440 --> 00:23:37.680
Yeah.
00:23:37.759 --> 00:23:39.519
And how regular are your periods?
00:23:40.000 --> 00:23:40.319
Thank you.
00:23:40.480 --> 00:23:40.960
Exactly.
00:23:41.200 --> 00:23:43.759
Have you experienced hot flashes?
00:23:44.000 --> 00:23:44.319
Right.
00:23:44.559 --> 00:23:48.000
Do you how's your how's your anxiety level?
00:23:48.079 --> 00:23:51.200
How's your you know, brain function baseline?
00:23:51.279 --> 00:23:57.119
Like and all of those people would be like, if I said, Oh, I'm feeling more anxious or I'm not sleeping well, they'd be like, Oh, it's because of lockdown.
00:23:57.440 --> 00:23:58.960
This okay, yeah.
00:23:59.279 --> 00:24:04.720
I didn't even seriously after of years of friendship between us, years of sitting around and talking.
00:24:04.880 --> 00:24:11.839
I literally have never put together that you went headlong into perimenopause during the pandemic.
00:24:12.000 --> 00:24:12.400
Yes.
00:24:12.640 --> 00:24:14.160
I completely missed the boat.
00:24:14.240 --> 00:24:15.200
My apologies on that.
00:24:15.440 --> 00:24:16.160
No, how could you?
00:24:16.240 --> 00:24:17.680
Because I was chasing cushions.
00:24:18.000 --> 00:24:19.359
Right, with your hump.
00:24:19.599 --> 00:24:20.400
Right with my hump.
00:24:20.640 --> 00:24:21.119
It was bomb.
00:24:21.519 --> 00:24:22.240
You and your hump.
00:24:22.480 --> 00:24:24.799
It's still there, kind of, but I I've learned to love it.
00:24:24.880 --> 00:24:25.119
All right.
00:24:25.519 --> 00:24:26.319
I tattooed it.
00:24:26.400 --> 00:24:26.799
It's fine.
00:24:27.119 --> 00:24:33.680
You know, it's it's one of those things that now I think they call it like the the the phone phone hump or something.
00:24:33.759 --> 00:24:37.599
Like I saw a thing for chiropractors where it's like, do you have a hump on your back?
00:24:37.680 --> 00:24:38.960
It's because you're on your phone all the time.
00:24:39.039 --> 00:24:46.720
So it's probably I I'm probably slouching now, but I I mean it has a lot to do with cortisol, and I can't say my cortisol's dropped.
00:24:46.880 --> 00:24:49.279
Uh, ma'am, uh, outsider looking in, right?
00:24:49.440 --> 00:24:50.559
I'm gonna say no.
00:24:50.720 --> 00:24:50.960
Right.
00:24:51.119 --> 00:25:03.279
Uh I talk to you right now and for a long while, you know, monthly to weekly, weekly to daily basis, and your cortisol level is probably terrifying.
00:25:03.599 --> 00:25:05.279
That's that's the only word that comes to mind.
00:25:05.599 --> 00:25:09.119
Girl, I peed in a bucket for three days, or like it's like a collection.
00:25:09.920 --> 00:25:11.519
I don't know, 24-hour urine collection.
00:25:11.680 --> 00:25:12.240
Yes, absolutely.
00:25:12.720 --> 00:25:20.559
Uh and so, yeah, my cortisol is high, as a matter of fact, but uh and not high enough, not high enough, so for them to to do anything.
00:25:20.720 --> 00:25:35.200
So and then, you know, it like this is something that I would love to know more about is like if in perimetopause we do gain weight around the middle and our like does it impact our cortisol levels?
00:25:35.440 --> 00:25:40.160
Like, is this another hormone that is getting absolutely ruined?
00:25:40.400 --> 00:25:42.720
Well, maybe by the next episode I'll have done some research.
00:25:42.799 --> 00:25:52.480
That's my part of my hero spiciness, but um, but yeah, I do know that like as our belly fat gets higher, so like it impacts our estrogen.
00:25:52.559 --> 00:25:53.359
I do know that.
00:25:53.599 --> 00:25:53.920
Okay.
00:25:54.319 --> 00:26:14.960
Because like I remember just prior to COVID, I had been diagnosed with estrogen dominance, but it like to be very honest, the naturopath I was seeing said that I was like a teenager in puberty from the waist up and a 75-year-old woman from the waist down.
00:26:15.279 --> 00:26:17.440
And so, and I was like, preach, preach.
00:26:17.839 --> 00:26:29.119
However, because at the time I hadn't known it had affected like my libido and my like even just my vaginal tissue, to be very honest with you, to be very hello listeners.
00:26:29.200 --> 00:26:30.160
This is our first episode.
00:26:30.480 --> 00:26:36.720
Um, but like, yeah, so it had, but I had been seeking help for a long time.
00:26:37.119 --> 00:26:41.119
I can actually remember uh like segue, but not Segway.
00:26:41.279 --> 00:26:51.200
Um, I can actually remember seeking help myself, yeah, for um weight gain and unwanted facial hair.
00:26:51.359 --> 00:26:53.759
I was I was growing a chin strap.
00:26:54.000 --> 00:26:56.000
It was actually like somewhat impressive.
00:26:56.160 --> 00:26:57.519
I had like a soul patch, yeah.
00:26:57.759 --> 00:26:59.920
I didn't want to be that guy, right?
00:27:00.079 --> 00:27:01.519
Some people, cool, cool, cool.
00:27:01.680 --> 00:27:02.640
That's what they're into.
00:27:02.720 --> 00:27:04.319
And I power to you.
00:27:04.400 --> 00:27:04.720
I love it.
00:27:04.799 --> 00:27:05.279
I love it for you.
00:27:05.680 --> 00:27:06.880
Like an ex-husband, I can't.
00:27:07.119 --> 00:27:10.240
Well, so I was like, I can't like do that to my children.
00:27:10.480 --> 00:27:13.839
There was there were numerous movie characters that came to mind with my chin strap.
00:27:14.240 --> 00:27:16.160
Prince had a moment with a chin strap.
00:27:16.640 --> 00:27:17.039
Yeah.
00:27:17.200 --> 00:27:32.480
So I was reaching heights with this thing and gaining weight around the middle, as I say, it have I was having heart palpitations, um, I was having sleep disturbances, and mood and and emotional disturbances were off the charts.
00:27:32.880 --> 00:27:34.640
And I did the same thing.
00:27:34.720 --> 00:27:36.319
I sought out a naturopath.
00:27:36.559 --> 00:27:41.119
Yes, and I did all the blood work, and I don't know if I peed for 24 hours in a bucket.
00:27:41.359 --> 00:27:42.640
Oh, that was the endocrinologist.
00:27:42.880 --> 00:27:43.279
Okay, okay.
00:27:43.359 --> 00:27:46.880
So I was like, I was dual banjoing at this point.
00:27:47.200 --> 00:27:51.359
You were doing the best you doing at all the most, I think is the term the kids are using these days.
00:27:51.440 --> 00:27:53.440
I don't do the most doing the most, yeah.
00:27:53.680 --> 00:27:54.079
Absolutely.
00:27:54.640 --> 00:28:07.839
So here we have two approaching middle age at the time, women having very similar symptoms, both being led astray.
00:28:08.240 --> 00:28:08.799
Yes.
00:28:09.119 --> 00:28:13.359
I can remember praying that my thyroid was fucked.
00:28:13.519 --> 00:28:13.839
Yes.
00:28:14.319 --> 00:28:14.880
I wanted an answer.
00:28:15.200 --> 00:28:16.720
My mom says, maybe mine is.
00:28:16.880 --> 00:28:18.000
Like I'm hoping.
00:28:18.240 --> 00:28:24.240
I was actually hoping for a and no, listen, I am not trying to minimize thyroid disorders in any way.
00:28:25.519 --> 00:28:28.319
When you have an answer, then it feels real.
00:28:28.640 --> 00:28:33.839
Yeah, just to be able to get into a lane.
00:28:34.079 --> 00:28:34.559
Yes.
00:28:34.880 --> 00:28:38.000
Put me in the thyroid lane, whatever lane you're gonna do.
00:28:38.160 --> 00:28:39.599
Then we can work on this, right?
00:28:39.680 --> 00:28:43.359
But instead, they were like, here's$800 a month worth of vitamins.
00:28:43.519 --> 00:28:44.240
Good luck.
00:28:44.480 --> 00:28:45.039
Yes.
00:28:45.359 --> 00:28:49.119
And turns out all that did was empty my bank account.
00:28:49.359 --> 00:28:50.960
Um, yeah, for me.
00:28:51.039 --> 00:28:51.279
For me.
00:28:51.519 --> 00:28:58.000
No, absolutely, but it it was similar in that again, I was through like I everything got shut down through COVID.
00:28:58.160 --> 00:29:04.640
So they thought that like I was doing vitamin bags and I was doing like all kinds of stuff trying to support my body.
00:29:04.720 --> 00:29:06.880
Like I really truly wanted to feel better.
00:29:07.200 --> 00:29:14.480
And in in this time when people were giving you vitamins and like literally no one mentioned this could be perimetapodic.
00:29:14.799 --> 00:29:21.839
Not one person, like that's the wildest part that it's so prominent now, which is great.
00:29:22.079 --> 00:29:22.400
Yeah.
00:29:22.480 --> 00:29:34.559
Oh, I the reason we're sitting here talking today is because an entire the there's a platforms based on women finally saying, wait, hold up, yo-yo, okay.
00:29:34.880 --> 00:29:36.799
This is this is an actual thing.
00:29:37.039 --> 00:29:53.200
So mind-boggling, you went to an endocrinologist, you went to a naturopath, likely you got to your endocrinologist through your primary care practitioner, and not one of those people ever said it could be perimenopause, but let's rule out thyroid cushions, etc.
00:29:53.519 --> 00:30:00.160
Yeah, diabetes, like you know, or you're pre-cause I was getting like up to weights that was like they're like, oh, maybe pre-diabetic.
00:30:00.240 --> 00:30:05.440
Like, this is why you're so tired all the time and you have the brain fog and the blah blah blah blah bloop.
00:30:05.599 --> 00:30:06.720
And I was like, Oh, okay.
00:30:06.880 --> 00:30:10.880
So, and I really truly like then I would switch my diet and I would exercise more.
00:30:11.599 --> 00:30:18.319
But what was really wild is I was like exercising more and just getting increasingly tired and weaker.
00:30:18.640 --> 00:30:30.559
My muscles, my muscles, I was doing CrossFit at the time, like my muscles started to like because CrossFit you like keep score up, or not you know, your PRs or whatever, yeah, personal bests.
00:30:30.880 --> 00:30:41.200
And it just started dropping, and I'm like, I can like I have quantifiable evidence that like I'm getting weaker, yeah.
00:30:41.519 --> 00:30:43.759
Like, and it's not through lack of effort, right?
00:30:43.920 --> 00:30:52.559
The more the more I try, the more I fail, which is a horrible thing to say, but but that's what it felt like, and so yeah, absolutely.
00:30:52.640 --> 00:31:01.359
Now that we have these like accessible people who are like speaking out and things, it's been a lot cooler, but I'm also at like almost the very end.
00:31:02.240 --> 00:31:08.640
I mean, I think that we might be nearing the end, sure, being 47, being 49.
00:31:08.720 --> 00:31:12.160
I my dog is barking like crazy in the background, ladies and gentlemen.
00:31:12.240 --> 00:31:12.880
I'm so sorry.
00:31:13.599 --> 00:31:15.039
Um here I can pause it.
00:31:15.200 --> 00:31:16.000
We can pause it.
00:31:16.240 --> 00:31:17.839
I don't know how he's not gonna stop.
00:31:17.920 --> 00:31:18.799
Don't pause it.
00:31:19.519 --> 00:31:20.319
We'll edit this out.
00:31:20.559 --> 00:31:20.720
Okay.
00:31:20.880 --> 00:31:22.160
Well okay.
00:31:22.319 --> 00:31:23.920
I don't know how to edit, but that's fine.
00:31:24.160 --> 00:31:25.200
Christian will edit it out.
00:31:25.440 --> 00:31:26.720
Oh, again with the names.
00:31:26.880 --> 00:31:32.960
I right we all right, back on point, back on point.
00:31:33.200 --> 00:31:46.160
We might be near the end, but I first of all I think that those of us in our late 40s now still need to have validation that what we went through was perimenopause.
00:31:46.319 --> 00:31:53.839
We weren't uh crazy and we weren't um just having no symptoms and making shit up.
00:31:54.079 --> 00:31:58.160
Um, so there is a there's room for us to be validated before it's too late.
00:31:58.319 --> 00:32:00.640
Uh, I'd like to see that happen.
00:32:00.960 --> 00:32:17.119
And then I I'm getting the sense from different articles I'm reading, different sources of information that even when you hit menopause the 12 months plus a day past your last now it's a year and a half.
00:32:17.440 --> 00:32:17.920
Oh, super.
00:32:18.000 --> 00:32:19.599
We made it 18 months, did we?
00:32:19.759 --> 00:32:20.480
I think so.
00:32:20.720 --> 00:32:21.200
Excellent.
00:32:21.359 --> 00:32:24.559
So I mean, I should fact check that, but I'm pretty sure it's 18 months.
00:32:24.880 --> 00:32:27.839
Yeah, we'll come back at you with a fact check on that for sure.
00:32:28.000 --> 00:32:33.519
Uh, because I know quite recently I've heard both of those figures bounced around.
00:32:33.680 --> 00:32:35.279
That's neither here nor there.
00:32:35.680 --> 00:32:56.319
Once you hit menopause and you're in this post-menopausal state, my understanding is that we could have the joy, the pleasure, the privilege of continuing to have body aches, fatigue, brain fog, breast tenderness, vaginal dryness.
00:32:56.640 --> 00:32:58.240
I need I go on.
00:32:58.480 --> 00:32:58.799
Really?
00:32:58.960 --> 00:32:59.519
I don't, yeah.
00:32:59.599 --> 00:33:04.480
I'm not I have not picked that scab, to be honest with you, because I am maybe don't.
00:33:04.559 --> 00:33:06.880
Maybe listen ignorance is bliss.
00:33:06.960 --> 00:33:10.000
I don't like the word ignorance, but maybe just don't.
00:33:10.480 --> 00:33:15.599
Well, I feel for the sake of this podcast that we might have to, but yeah.
00:33:15.759 --> 00:33:31.839
But I'm getting the impression that even people are talking and and like we will go back, we will loop back on this, but I am getting the impression that there is a possibility of years of ongoing symptoms.
00:33:32.000 --> 00:33:41.119
Like, I don't think you just have the last period wait 18 months and then everything is all better.
00:33:41.359 --> 00:33:45.279
Okay, but why I know it's a but I feel it's let down.
00:33:45.519 --> 00:33:48.319
Well, okay, but so was getting my period for the first time.
00:33:48.480 --> 00:33:53.279
Like after watching so many Tampax commercials, I really thought that my life was gonna be blissful.
00:33:53.519 --> 00:33:53.599
Right.
00:33:55.200 --> 00:34:01.599
I could still play tennis and ride a horse, even though I couldn't do either of those things prior to getting my period.
00:34:01.680 --> 00:34:03.839
But those girls looked super good doing it.
00:34:03.920 --> 00:34:04.400
Yes, right.
00:34:04.559 --> 00:34:04.799
Yeah.
00:34:05.039 --> 00:34:08.000
Um, but no, so that's that's a bit of a bummer.
00:34:08.159 --> 00:34:08.400
Okay.
00:34:08.559 --> 00:34:08.719
Yeah.
00:34:09.119 --> 00:34:13.840
I see she's bringing her birthday energy into the rest of the here it is, dragging dragging us down.
00:34:14.000 --> 00:34:14.719
I'm so sorry.
00:34:14.880 --> 00:34:32.320
Listen, I wanted to be so positive about the 12 months or 18 months post-Menzies, and I was going to have a snatched waist, and I was not gonna have a man beard anymore.
00:34:32.639 --> 00:34:42.960
And my mental fortitude would be sharp, and I was looking so forward to waking up and being able to walk when I got out of bed.
00:34:43.119 --> 00:34:45.440
Yeah, without making the noise, grunting, yeah.
00:34:45.519 --> 00:34:50.880
I know totally, totally the like uh uh uh of getting out of bed.
00:34:51.199 --> 00:34:57.599
And then I made the mistake of picking that scab and finding out that actually, in fact, it can carry on.
00:34:57.679 --> 00:35:00.559
I I mean, I'm happy to go back.
00:35:00.800 --> 00:35:06.239
I'm happy to say, never mind, I didn't learn that, and let's just see what happens.
00:35:06.400 --> 00:35:12.480
No, we all put a pin in that, but I absolutely am gonna absolutely fact check that because I am afraid now.
00:35:12.719 --> 00:35:14.079
I mean, but I get that.
00:35:14.320 --> 00:35:32.400
It's only because I feel like perimenopause, the whole sort of voice of perimenopause and the or the banner, or I again I don't have a word, is that like there's hope post like I I know they keep calling it post-menopause, but I guess it's just menopause once you actually have menopaused.
00:35:32.800 --> 00:35:33.280
Yeah, right.
00:35:33.679 --> 00:35:37.679
I feel like menopause is just the state of not is is after perimenopause.
00:35:37.760 --> 00:35:38.239
Yeah, right.
00:35:38.480 --> 00:35:49.840
So I guess like I really thought that like you know, purgatory, and then you just like get through and there's like a bucket of gold at the end of the rainbow.
00:35:50.239 --> 00:35:52.559
Like I said, snatched waste, yeah, no facial.
00:35:52.960 --> 00:36:05.199
Well, even I don't even yes, and like I I I've actually given up the joy, like the dream of like I just I don't think I can be, I won't be like necessarily fit ever again.
00:36:06.079 --> 00:36:19.519
I I say this in that in that I actually have lost the will to as soon as somebody says lost the will, I'm like, oh no.
00:36:19.840 --> 00:36:25.440
Right, like I don't actually like I'm starting to look at life in a different like through a different lens.
00:36:25.599 --> 00:36:27.199
Do I want to be healthy?
00:36:27.440 --> 00:36:29.199
Yeah, absolutely do I.
00:36:29.440 --> 00:36:38.559
Yeah, I want to be able to, when I'm 75, 80, sit on a toilet and stand up without the use of like an aid.
00:36:38.639 --> 00:36:52.880
Like I know because it was interesting because when I was doing when I was working at a lot, we talked about like squats being so important because that muscle group is so important in your old age, older age, elder years, golden years.
00:36:53.119 --> 00:36:53.599
There we go.
00:36:53.840 --> 00:37:01.119
That um, like for things like getting off the toilet, I had never even considered why they needed toilet lifts, right?
00:37:01.199 --> 00:37:04.320
I truly didn't, or why chairs elevated people, right?
00:37:04.559 --> 00:37:06.320
I never ever thought of that.
00:37:07.119 --> 00:37:09.360
I don't know if I have either, and now I'm right.
00:37:09.519 --> 00:37:10.559
So I was like, oh shit.
00:37:10.639 --> 00:37:11.360
So that's what I mean.
00:37:11.440 --> 00:37:14.719
Like I want to be like healthy and strong, right?
00:37:14.880 --> 00:37:21.440
But I don't actually want to focus ever again for the rest of my life on the aesthetic, on the aesthetic of being fit.
00:37:21.760 --> 00:37:22.320
I think that's fair.
00:37:22.559 --> 00:37:23.679
I'm just uh that's me.
00:37:23.840 --> 00:37:37.440
I just I can be because I I've realized I've spent almost 50 years being that person, worrying more about the aesthetic necessarily than the the like benefits of exercise.
00:37:37.679 --> 00:37:46.000
Yeah, I feel like there's like when I s I mean I'm joking, I'm being very sort of glib when I say things about my chin beard and my snatch waist.
00:37:46.800 --> 00:37:52.800
I also do not live under the illusion that I'm ever going to look the way I did in my 20s.
00:37:52.960 --> 00:37:53.199
No.
00:37:53.360 --> 00:38:04.079
And I think a part of the perimenopause picture is women being allowed to accept themselves the way they look now and not fight for that image.
00:38:04.239 --> 00:38:10.880
I I'm 100% in agreement with the actual end goal is like functionality.
00:38:11.039 --> 00:38:11.519
Yes.
00:38:11.760 --> 00:38:16.480
Like I want to have a functioning body that will serve me.
00:38:16.880 --> 00:38:27.599
Because right now, though, to be very honest with you, I don't feel like I don't if you remember like that Looney tunes, or like actually, it's more pinky in the brain that I'm thinking of, but I don't know if anybody, it's a very odd reference.
00:38:27.760 --> 00:38:32.400
But there was an episode where they like built a dude and they were like in the head, like controlling it.
00:38:32.719 --> 00:38:33.840
I 100% remember this.
00:38:34.159 --> 00:38:34.320
Right.
00:38:34.480 --> 00:38:37.280
So that's kind of what my body feels like right now.
00:38:37.440 --> 00:38:40.639
Like even when I work out, it doesn't feel like me.
00:38:40.800 --> 00:38:46.400
Like I don't have it's the strength in my muscles, I don't have the stamina, I don't have the resilience.
00:38:46.639 --> 00:38:47.039
Right.
00:38:47.440 --> 00:38:56.559
I instead feel like there's like these weird little gremlins or two mice, I guess, in my brain controlling the sticks.
00:38:56.639 --> 00:39:00.719
Like I and in that includes my moods, that includes my sleep, that includes everything.
00:39:00.800 --> 00:39:00.960
Yeah.
00:39:01.119 --> 00:39:07.119
So I'm hoping, I guess, in my golden years, that it looks more like I'm back in the driver's right.
00:39:07.280 --> 00:39:08.400
You've got the grasp on it.
00:39:08.559 --> 00:39:08.880
Yes.
00:39:09.119 --> 00:39:21.679
I love that for us, and I absolutely couldn't hope more that I am going to wake up one day and I I am definitely searching for that that end goal.
00:39:21.840 --> 00:39:22.079
Right.
00:39:22.320 --> 00:39:22.719
100%.
00:39:23.119 --> 00:39:47.760
That's that's I I think the only reason I'm getting through perimenopause, why I'm, you know, forcing my way, trudging through what feels like bags of cement on a daily basis, is that I am gonna reach that point of the post-menopausal phase or whatever you want to call it, where I will hopefully have gained a functionality back.
00:39:48.320 --> 00:39:57.760
And my brain is my brain again, and my control over my body is my control over my body again, and it won't feel so out of hand.
00:39:58.400 --> 00:40:02.639
Well, I think that that's a really good place to stop.
00:40:03.599 --> 00:40:04.800
Yeah, we could.
00:40:05.119 --> 00:40:08.880
I think, you know, just take it away with that.
00:40:09.039 --> 00:40:09.199
Right.
00:40:09.519 --> 00:40:10.079
Food for thought.
00:40:10.320 --> 00:40:10.639
Exactly.
00:40:10.719 --> 00:40:12.480
Because really, this was an intro to us.
00:40:12.559 --> 00:40:20.719
So now you know that although we started with a topic, it never will we we just we just go where the river flows, to be very honest with you.
00:40:20.960 --> 00:40:24.320
Um, so hopefully you'll join us next time.
00:40:24.719 --> 00:40:25.199
Soon.
00:40:25.440 --> 00:40:25.599
Right?
00:40:25.679 --> 00:40:26.559
Well, yeah, yes.
00:40:26.639 --> 00:40:29.679
We're gonna try weekly, I think, or bi-weekly.
00:40:29.760 --> 00:40:32.320
Well, it depends on where we're at in our ladies and gentlemen.
00:40:32.400 --> 00:40:33.519
We're gonna do our best.
00:40:33.599 --> 00:40:33.760
Yes.
00:40:34.000 --> 00:40:34.800
Can we just tell you that?
00:40:34.960 --> 00:40:35.920
Yes, we're gonna do our best.
00:40:36.159 --> 00:40:39.920
If what I have to offer you is weekly, you're welcome.
00:40:40.159 --> 00:40:40.480
Right.
00:40:40.719 --> 00:40:42.239
Yeah, you are welcome.
00:40:42.559 --> 00:40:43.440
So, yes.
00:40:43.599 --> 00:40:47.920
So please join us on the next episode of Menopause Mix Day.
00:40:48.000 --> 00:40:50.559
And we're so happy to have met you.
00:40:50.719 --> 00:40:53.039
And yeah, I can't wait for next month.
00:40:53.199 --> 00:40:53.519
All right.
00:40:53.679 --> 00:40:54.719
Well, thanks everybody.
00:40:54.880 --> 00:40:55.360
Thank you.
00:40:55.599 --> 00:40:55.840
Cheers.
00:00:03.759 --> 00:00:06.240
Welcome to Menopause Mixtape.
00:00:06.400 --> 00:00:09.839
Life got weird and we hit record.
00:00:18.000 --> 00:00:22.800
Hi, this is Menopause Mixtape.
00:00:23.120 --> 00:00:28.719
Yes, this is Aaron Donnelly, your host with my other host, Michelle McFadden.
00:00:29.120 --> 00:00:31.920
Well, we are here in our inaugural episode.
00:00:32.240 --> 00:00:32.960
Oh, nice word.
00:00:33.039 --> 00:00:33.359
Nice word.
00:00:33.679 --> 00:00:34.640
I was trying to be spiritual.
00:00:35.280 --> 00:00:41.840
It's gonna be since I can't remember any words with our first episode of Menopause Mixtape.
00:00:42.479 --> 00:00:44.640
Welcome along for the ride, ladies and gentlemen.
00:00:44.880 --> 00:00:46.880
I'm gonna tell you, we're going without a map.
00:00:47.119 --> 00:00:48.880
So off-roading, if you will.
00:00:49.280 --> 00:00:53.280
We will, just kind of like menopause, really, and perimenopause.
00:00:53.439 --> 00:00:55.759
So we thought we would stay authentic.
00:00:56.079 --> 00:00:58.320
We can't do anything but be authentic.
00:00:58.479 --> 00:00:59.679
Let's let's be truthful.
00:00:59.920 --> 00:01:00.079
Right.
00:01:00.159 --> 00:01:01.759
So maybe some ground rules.
00:01:01.920 --> 00:01:06.799
Uh we will probably swear people and fair.
00:01:07.040 --> 00:01:10.879
At times say things that might be a little, I don't know, off-color.
00:01:11.120 --> 00:01:11.439
Blue.
00:01:11.599 --> 00:01:15.760
Yeah, a little, and also, yeah, we're pretty vulnerable, to be very honest with you.
00:01:16.000 --> 00:01:18.159
We're going to probably talk about our families.
00:01:18.719 --> 00:01:20.400
Probably going to talk about our jobs.
00:01:20.640 --> 00:01:21.040
A lot.
00:01:21.280 --> 00:01:21.599
A lot.
00:01:21.840 --> 00:01:27.599
Yeah, but we're not going to tell you like where we work or what we do, sort of, but you'll probably be able to guess.
00:01:27.760 --> 00:01:33.359
And um, because we're coming to you as two human women, right?
00:01:33.599 --> 00:01:34.239
Not our careers.
00:01:34.640 --> 00:01:35.599
Couldn't be more human.
00:01:35.760 --> 00:01:36.079
Exactly.
00:01:36.239 --> 00:01:41.200
Not our careers, not as mothers, not as daughters, sisters, whatever.
00:01:41.359 --> 00:01:42.319
We're just us.
00:01:42.480 --> 00:01:45.280
And this is what you're gonna get when you get this podcast.
00:01:45.439 --> 00:01:51.920
So if you want to tune in or you haven't switched the channel yet, then yeah, you're in for a ride.
00:01:52.000 --> 00:01:52.640
I can't wait.
00:01:52.799 --> 00:01:52.959
Right?
00:01:53.120 --> 00:01:53.920
Strap in, people.
00:01:54.000 --> 00:01:55.040
Let's strap in.
00:01:55.200 --> 00:02:03.040
Um, so for our first episode, we thought a great introduction would be yesterday was Michelle's 47th birthday.
00:02:03.359 --> 00:02:05.200
Oh my goodness.
00:02:05.680 --> 00:02:09.120
Is there a less sexy age you can turn than 47?
00:02:09.280 --> 00:02:15.520
I I can't think of a number that is less enticing than the number 47.
00:02:15.759 --> 00:02:17.199
It rolls off the tongue.
00:02:17.520 --> 00:02:21.680
Maybe, but it there's no context to it.
00:02:21.840 --> 00:02:37.039
You're not, oh, the big 4-0 or the big 5-0, or you're not, you're you're just in this weird middle ground, not unlike every single thing in my life right now, where there's no special place held for you because you're 47.
00:02:37.280 --> 00:02:40.800
There's no great big milestone that you're going to reach because you're 47.
00:02:40.960 --> 00:02:44.319
In fact, it almost feels like the birthday that never was.
00:02:44.560 --> 00:02:54.719
Well, if it's any consolation, me being the elder of 49, um you're one year closer to menopause, fully menopausal.
00:02:55.039 --> 00:02:59.280
Girl, counting down the weeks, the days, the minutes.
00:02:59.520 --> 00:03:06.159
Well, don't get too excited, too, because like as a gift on your birthday, I haven't had my period in almost a year.
00:03:06.240 --> 00:03:10.719
And no, it was as a gift, I got my period again.
00:03:11.039 --> 00:03:13.520
Let me tell you a little story, girlfriend.
00:03:13.759 --> 00:03:14.400
Same's.
00:03:14.800 --> 00:03:16.240
Okay, so we are in sync.
00:03:16.319 --> 00:03:19.039
This is we're not just in sync the band.
00:03:19.360 --> 00:03:19.680
The band.
00:03:20.080 --> 00:03:23.520
We're like in sync in our in our men's.
00:03:24.000 --> 00:03:24.879
Yes, samesies.
00:03:25.039 --> 00:03:25.199
Yeah.
00:03:25.360 --> 00:03:25.759
Okay, okay.
00:03:25.919 --> 00:03:27.120
I I thought about it.
00:03:27.439 --> 00:03:31.919
I was nine months and then happy birthday.
00:03:32.080 --> 00:03:32.479
Right.
00:03:32.719 --> 00:03:40.240
There's a leak in your roof, which we don't need to talk about, but also here's a leak in your basement.
00:03:42.080 --> 00:03:42.560
Right.
00:03:42.800 --> 00:03:43.120
Okay.
00:03:43.840 --> 00:03:45.360
You're just a leaky boat.
00:03:45.759 --> 00:03:47.039
Is the yeah.
00:03:47.280 --> 00:03:53.599
So yeah, had a lot of awakenings around the meaningless birthday of 47.
00:03:53.759 --> 00:03:57.840
Had a lot of uh, you know, what is my purpose?
00:03:58.000 --> 00:03:59.439
What is my being?
00:03:59.759 --> 00:04:02.719
And where do I go from here?
00:04:02.960 --> 00:04:07.520
Like, I've got kids that are teenagers, I've got a husband that's over 50.
00:04:07.599 --> 00:04:13.520
So he's he's laughing at me from the milestone on high and saying, ha ha, just wait till it's your turn.
00:04:13.759 --> 00:04:21.120
And I really can't gather my thoughts around where where am I at exactly?
00:04:21.439 --> 00:04:23.519
I guess this is midlife.
00:04:23.839 --> 00:04:24.399
Yeah.
00:04:24.720 --> 00:04:25.040
Right?
00:04:25.360 --> 00:04:29.120
But like midlife feels a little like purgatory.
00:04:29.439 --> 00:04:44.720
Oh, like if I were to describe how midlife has been for me, and I'm not speaking for everybody, no, but it's been like kind of a like like everybody talks about this blissful menopause, like when is it happening?
00:04:45.120 --> 00:04:59.439
Like the actual act of like never having to worry about the period again, but also just like feeling this like zero fucks and like oh so free, and my hair will be like frizzy, but I don't care and I love moo moos, like that phase, right?
00:04:59.519 --> 00:05:01.120
And or there's like the fit people.
00:05:01.279 --> 00:05:05.199
I don't know who I'm not that one, but I I am envious of them.
00:05:05.519 --> 00:05:13.759
But the whole thing is that like from 38, I would say, yeah, and still going on the nose, yeah.
00:05:13.920 --> 00:05:25.439
Yeah, it it has felt like more like purgatory, not to bring religion into this, but like it is is neither hell nor heaven, heaven, because a lot of the time I just feel numb.
00:05:25.920 --> 00:05:30.879
Correct correct, and I would call it almost a wash, right?
00:05:31.120 --> 00:05:41.120
Like I I hit 38, I felt like I was thriving, I hit 40, I actually was, I had a moment of zero fucks given.
00:05:41.199 --> 00:05:42.720
Yep, a hundred percent.
00:05:42.959 --> 00:05:45.040
Oh, aren't you upset you're turning 40?
00:05:45.199 --> 00:05:49.519
Hell no, I actually don't give a fuck about anything anymore.
00:05:49.839 --> 00:05:55.839
As I've slipped into my mid-40s, nay tipping into my late 40s now.
00:05:57.120 --> 00:06:02.399
I don't there's no gusto, there's no fervor to it.
00:06:02.560 --> 00:06:05.759
I don't, I don't even give a fuck that I don't give a fuck.
00:06:06.240 --> 00:06:07.519
It's not as exciting.
00:06:07.759 --> 00:06:15.920
And then on top of it all, you are on this watch for what people have referred to as the golden years.
00:06:16.319 --> 00:06:16.879
Right.
00:06:17.360 --> 00:06:31.759
Um, and as you said, this I want to call it a utopia of life without periods and kids that are fully grown and jobs that you can retire from, and all of these sort of greener pastures.
00:06:32.240 --> 00:06:37.120
And here I am in the middle of my kids are never going to grow up.
00:06:37.360 --> 00:06:39.839
I'm never going to retire.
00:06:40.160 --> 00:06:45.360
And the pasture is deceased at this point.
00:06:45.680 --> 00:06:49.040
It's a bit of a dust bowl in more way than one, right?
00:06:49.199 --> 00:06:53.040
Like, can we just for a minute?
00:06:53.279 --> 00:06:59.040
Honestly, if I can go there, you know, how do you celebrate your 47th birthday?
00:06:59.279 --> 00:07:02.720
You know, do you want to have a kiss on a cuddle with your significant other?
00:07:03.040 --> 00:07:06.079
No, don't actually don't touch me.
00:07:06.319 --> 00:07:07.600
And no, you know what?
00:07:07.680 --> 00:07:09.439
In fact, don't even talk to me.
00:07:09.600 --> 00:07:14.000
Um, I I don't my kids want to wish me a happy birthday.
00:07:14.079 --> 00:07:14.399
You know what?
00:07:14.480 --> 00:07:15.519
It's don't.
00:07:15.759 --> 00:07:16.560
It's fine.
00:07:16.879 --> 00:07:17.439
You know what?
00:07:17.519 --> 00:07:24.240
I'm actually probably just fine if you just leave me alone to my thoughts.
00:07:24.319 --> 00:07:34.720
I today is day one 47, day two, and I'm still in a birthday hangover, so I might be being a titch on the negative side.
00:07:35.040 --> 00:07:36.720
Well, you did have a leaky roof.
00:07:36.879 --> 00:07:39.120
I did have a leaky roof and a leaky basement.
00:07:39.360 --> 00:07:42.079
I'm never forgetting that term as long as we live.
00:07:42.399 --> 00:07:46.160
So, which is uh shorter than it was when we first met each other.
00:07:46.399 --> 00:07:54.000
Um, so basically, absolutely I I'm in a little bit different position.
00:07:54.240 --> 00:08:03.759
I'm only like two small years older than you, but I have got kids that are like now in their 20, well, in their 20th year and a 17-year-old.
00:08:04.560 --> 00:08:08.879
And that's it comes with its own bowl of problems or challenges.
00:08:09.040 --> 00:08:11.360
I shouldn't say problems, it's more challenges, I guess.
00:08:11.600 --> 00:08:21.279
But the the issue is that I have at this age is that I don't actually have the like the resilience as the therapists like to say, or the TikToks.
00:08:21.839 --> 00:08:23.360
I don't have the resilience.
00:08:23.759 --> 00:08:27.120
I have more of like just this like are you kidding me?
00:08:27.360 --> 00:08:28.160
Yeah, are we done?
00:08:28.800 --> 00:08:29.120
We're done.
00:08:29.279 --> 00:08:29.759
You're done.
00:08:30.000 --> 00:08:30.160
Right.
00:08:30.319 --> 00:08:36.799
Like, I'm like, well, okay, like the 17-year-old, to be very honest with you, great kid, honestly, is a great kid.
00:08:37.279 --> 00:08:42.399
Sass through the nose, he's me in that way, but and I love him for all the things that he is.
00:08:42.879 --> 00:08:50.480
But like he gets away with so much more because I just I don't I he's like, I'm gonna be out till this.
00:08:50.559 --> 00:08:52.720
Like, he doesn't even say, can I go out?
00:08:52.960 --> 00:08:54.559
I'm like, You're going out?
00:08:54.720 --> 00:08:54.960
Yep.
00:08:55.039 --> 00:08:55.440
Oh, okay.
00:08:55.600 --> 00:08:56.320
Like, I okay.
00:08:57.039 --> 00:09:01.600
I don't understand when when did my 15-year-old son become the boss of me?
00:09:01.840 --> 00:09:07.679
That's what I mean, and when at what point I did I missed it, I missed the shift.
00:09:07.759 --> 00:09:21.200
Maybe I was asleep, ret having a nap, because I now can't get through the day without a reset, as I like to call it, because my hormone-depleted body can't actually pull an all-dayer anymore at all.
00:09:21.440 --> 00:09:30.559
No, so maybe I slept through it, but I missed the part where the world said to me, Okay, your 15-year-old son is now the boss.
00:09:30.720 --> 00:09:36.639
He's gonna tell you where he's going, he's gonna tell you what's gonna happen.
00:09:36.960 --> 00:09:40.399
There's no asking, no, just hey brah.
00:09:40.799 --> 00:09:41.679
Oh, yeah, brah.
00:09:41.919 --> 00:09:42.480
Hey brah.
00:09:42.639 --> 00:09:43.600
Bruh, hey brah.
00:09:43.759 --> 00:09:46.480
Can I, hey brah, uh, I'll be at Aaron's tonight.
00:09:46.559 --> 00:09:48.320
Hey, oh, I don't want to use names.
00:09:48.480 --> 00:09:48.960
Shit.
00:09:49.200 --> 00:09:50.240
My name's Aaron.
00:09:50.559 --> 00:09:50.960
Oh, okay.
00:09:51.120 --> 00:09:51.679
There we go.
00:09:51.840 --> 00:09:52.080
Right.
00:09:52.159 --> 00:09:53.519
It doesn't really matter.
00:09:54.639 --> 00:09:54.799
Right.
00:09:55.120 --> 00:09:55.759
You know?
00:09:56.320 --> 00:10:07.360
So I'm in the in the well of trying to figure out you're you've gotten to the not post-teenage years, but the late teenage years.
00:10:07.440 --> 00:10:12.399
And the question I have here is am I gonna survive?
00:10:12.559 --> 00:10:16.000
I feel like you being alive is evidence that I will survive.
00:10:17.279 --> 00:10:21.440
And to what does it end?
00:10:21.600 --> 00:10:23.120
No, does it transform?
00:10:23.440 --> 00:10:29.519
I would like to formally apologize to my eldest child uh at this moment, actually.
00:10:29.679 --> 00:10:40.879
Um, because like I do realize that I had much more energy to like I'm not gonna use the word police them, but like to guide them.
00:10:41.120 --> 00:10:45.519
Like, you know, and like in in bowling, there's like those bumper thingies.
00:10:45.759 --> 00:10:47.120
Like I was more of that person.
00:10:47.279 --> 00:11:06.080
Like my kid, I feel like my kids still had like their own agency and they could make a lot of decisions because they're they are really good kids, but like no, with my youngest, I'm just like, meh, you're you're like as long as like you're I have the the tracking on the phone, and like that's all he has to say.
00:11:06.159 --> 00:11:07.840
Well, you can see where that where I am.
00:11:07.919 --> 00:11:10.000
I'm like, okay, well, that's very true.
00:11:10.240 --> 00:11:14.960
But here we are just saddling along with like bruh, I don't owe you an explanation.
00:11:15.279 --> 00:11:16.799
We have life 360.
00:11:17.919 --> 00:11:31.600
That doesn't help me, that doesn't help me not be a terrified parent of a teenage person, and then when I do like finally sum up the energy to like put my foot down, no brah.
00:11:31.919 --> 00:11:33.919
Then I get the you're crashing out.
00:11:34.000 --> 00:11:36.639
Yeah, why are you why don't crash out, right?
00:11:36.960 --> 00:11:39.840
Oh my god, you're crashing out.
00:11:41.759 --> 00:11:56.480
Like, okay, okay, but like sometimes like there was a time I remember clearly because it was devastating, that my children through COVID were like, Mom, we want to sit you down, and we think that you have like borderline personality disorder.
00:11:56.720 --> 00:11:57.519
I'm sorry.
00:11:57.759 --> 00:12:08.639
So why this happened was because that morning, after a long week of telling my children, please bring your dishes down to the kitchen.
00:12:09.039 --> 00:12:11.120
Um, because like COVID, there was like no rules.
00:12:11.200 --> 00:12:15.840
Like you want to eat in your room, like you want to socialize on your computer while you eat your dinner, like 100%.
00:12:16.399 --> 00:12:17.759
Like, okay, whatever, whatever.
00:12:18.080 --> 00:12:28.080
But um, absolutely like I was like, I just wanted to like I wanted to take a Tylenol or an Advil or something, and I needed a glass of water.
00:12:28.320 --> 00:12:35.279
And I opened the cover, and all that's there is like the kindergarten cook that my kid made me like as an ashtray.
00:12:35.759 --> 00:12:42.320
And so like I fill it with water, and there's like just water leaking on my chest, like it's a whole thing.
00:12:42.399 --> 00:12:50.720
And I was just like, you know what, guys, I need the dishes, and so I made yes, absolutely.
00:12:50.879 --> 00:12:55.840
I would have been what you would call crashing out, yeah, and but like the dishes got brought down.
00:12:56.080 --> 00:12:56.960
Like, let's be real.
00:12:57.440 --> 00:12:59.440
Why do you drive us to this point?
00:12:59.679 --> 00:13:07.039
Right, and so they had now TikTok had just recently come out, and borderline personality disorder was something that was trending, right?
00:13:07.120 --> 00:13:13.679
So it was like, and again, uh this is no shade to people with with borderline personality disorder.
00:13:13.919 --> 00:13:14.399
Absolutely not.
00:13:14.559 --> 00:13:16.799
I absolutely have so much respect.
00:13:16.960 --> 00:13:35.919
It was when it became this like way they weaponized it on people who, especially, I'm going to say, like moms, who would be like asking a thousand times in their kindest, most begging manner, yeah, to just do what we ask.
00:13:36.080 --> 00:13:45.840
Yeah, and then when we crash out, as they say, they then weaponize something that they've watched on TikTok, yeah, which is a very serious mental health condition.
00:13:46.320 --> 00:13:48.320
And then they're like, we need to sit you down.
00:13:48.399 --> 00:13:50.960
And I was like, I'm gonna tell you a little story, children.
00:13:51.200 --> 00:13:52.399
Let me weave you a tale.
00:13:52.559 --> 00:13:52.720
Yeah.
00:13:52.960 --> 00:13:55.360
And that was their first like being trapped in this house.
00:13:55.519 --> 00:13:58.000
We do not have a mansion, we have a Tommy cottage.
00:13:58.240 --> 00:14:02.960
Being like trapped in this house with a mom who was like so overstimulated.
00:14:03.200 --> 00:14:06.080
What I didn't know was in perimenopause.
00:14:06.159 --> 00:14:08.080
Yes, because you couldn't even access a doctor.
00:14:08.320 --> 00:14:11.120
No, and not that they would have been able to help you anyway.
00:14:11.200 --> 00:14:11.519
No, actually.
00:14:13.200 --> 00:14:14.399
We'll touch on that later.
00:14:14.879 --> 00:14:22.080
But like, but like I'm trapped in this house with these kids, and I'm like losing my mind because things just feel harder.
00:14:22.399 --> 00:14:23.759
And so, yes, absolutely.
00:14:23.840 --> 00:14:37.679
They did they weaponize something that they watched on TikTok, but it did start me down to be very fair, it did start me down a very interesting path about my moods at the beginning of my perimenopause journey.
00:14:38.000 --> 00:14:56.000
I don't, yeah, I I think that with our two-year age difference and you know, just fluctuations between humans here and there, you know, we we were at different points in our lives when perimenopause hit me versus when it sort of hit you, or I it it's not even hit.
00:14:56.080 --> 00:15:01.279
It's like it sneaks slyly in on the side and then suddenly it's there.
00:15:01.600 --> 00:15:09.360
Um, so I was probably my kids were a little bit younger when I when I started to experience penis.
00:15:09.440 --> 00:15:17.279
So they didn't have the tools to use TikTok to then go and weaponize a mental health disorder and have a sit-down with me.
00:15:17.519 --> 00:15:36.080
They wanted me to still be bubbly, you know, super high-energy mom who organized everything and made sure everything coordinated and lined up and was just go, go, go all the time, as my body was like, absolutely fucking not.
00:15:36.159 --> 00:15:36.480
Yeah.
00:15:36.799 --> 00:15:38.080
Sit down.
00:15:39.120 --> 00:15:42.080
And my brain couldn't organize it anymore.
00:15:42.240 --> 00:15:58.799
I I didn't, I, you know, I was the mom who was making her own alphabet cards to teach kids how to spell and their letters and creating poster boards and pinteresting the shit out of every learning game I could possibly get my hands on.
00:15:58.960 --> 00:16:05.759
And then suddenly I'm exhausted and they're disappointed.
00:16:06.080 --> 00:16:06.399
Right.
00:16:06.720 --> 00:16:08.960
Without the language to tell me that they're disappointed.
00:16:09.039 --> 00:16:19.440
I mean, at least I mean, maybe your kids shouldn't have sat you down and tried to diagnose you from the DSM, but like maybe Yeah, but they were not wrong.
00:16:19.600 --> 00:17:04.799
Like they were using language that they they saw on TikTok something that represented, because again, it was like back then, I think only a 30-second clip where people were explaining these mental health conditions, but like legitimately it was how they could find language to explain why I was acting the way that I was, which then though, piling on mom guilt, I was like, oh god, like, is there an issue that I don't like because COVID brought out so many issues that we like and you would know from before COVID, I was that mom who like would hold these giant movie nights in my backyard with 30 children, no listener, and never ever ever got overwhelmed by so many kids.
00:17:05.039 --> 00:17:06.079
No, hear me now.
00:17:06.240 --> 00:17:11.839
Honestly, this woman is like a machine to the point where it's exhausting to watch.
00:17:13.279 --> 00:17:24.720
And you, you know what, you know, those women that you sometimes will hold yourself up against and think, my God, I could never that she's that lady who you just think there's no way.
00:17:25.119 --> 00:17:37.440
One correction, she was that lady, and so I can see where her kids would, if she suddenly decided to quote unquote crash out over not having a drinking glass.
00:17:37.599 --> 00:17:46.960
Yes, I can see where they'd be like, there was a hundred kids in our backyard with 50 different types of marshmallows melted on their faces and you didn't bat an eyelash.
00:17:47.119 --> 00:17:47.599
Right.
00:17:47.759 --> 00:17:52.640
And now you want a drinking glass and you can't cope with the lack of a drinking glass.
00:17:52.799 --> 00:17:52.960
Right.
00:17:53.200 --> 00:17:54.240
Mom, what's happened?
00:17:54.480 --> 00:17:54.960
Exactly.
00:17:55.200 --> 00:17:57.359
Mom, what's where what's going on?
00:17:57.599 --> 00:17:57.839
Yes.
00:17:58.000 --> 00:18:07.599
And uh our kids, unfortunately, and even us, I think I'm gonna step and say at that time, we didn't even have the language to say, I think I'm in perimenopause.
00:18:07.839 --> 00:18:10.319
No, in fact, I was chasing a diagnosis.
00:18:10.400 --> 00:18:14.160
Remember, I was like reaching out and because it was COVID, it was all over the phone.
00:18:14.319 --> 00:18:14.559
Yeah.
00:18:14.799 --> 00:18:17.039
So I got diagnosed with with depression.
00:18:17.119 --> 00:18:20.480
I got diagnosed with like they tested me for Crohn's.
00:18:20.559 --> 00:18:21.359
No, not Crohn's.
00:18:21.440 --> 00:18:22.960
What's the one with the hump on my back?
00:18:23.200 --> 00:18:25.599
Well, okay, Crohn's is so far away from the city.
00:18:25.759 --> 00:18:26.799
No, I know about half Crohn.
00:18:26.880 --> 00:18:28.319
They've tested me for Crohn's at the same time.
00:18:28.480 --> 00:18:35.279
But again, we're getting we can't even talk about the gastro issues that are perimetopause, but um, one of the thousands of symptoms.
00:18:35.519 --> 00:18:37.279
No, the one, see, this is what happened.
00:18:37.440 --> 00:18:38.079
I have no memory.
00:18:38.240 --> 00:18:41.759
No, my memory is foggy, and they'd be like, oh, it's COVID because everybody's in the house.
00:18:41.920 --> 00:18:43.839
I'm like, no, I literally can't remember anything.
00:18:44.079 --> 00:18:58.319
I guess, yeah, like if you hit perimetopause when COVID was happening, a lot of your symptoms would have been mislabeled or gone unchecked because it would have been, oh, it's because we're on lockdown, it's because we're on COVID.
00:18:58.559 --> 00:18:58.799
Absolutely.
00:18:59.119 --> 00:19:00.720
Kids aren't in school, da-da-da-da-da.
00:19:01.039 --> 00:19:03.759
So you're losing your ever-loving mind.
00:19:04.000 --> 00:19:04.400
Right.
00:19:04.720 --> 00:19:07.599
Because you're trapped in a box.
00:19:07.759 --> 00:19:08.079
Yes.
00:19:08.240 --> 00:19:10.000
With a mask on your hot face.
00:19:10.319 --> 00:19:12.960
And I'm trying to homeschool my children.
00:19:13.200 --> 00:19:14.960
Oh, Christ on a cracker.
00:19:15.119 --> 00:19:20.000
I oh, I also did not mean to bring religion into this, but here he sits on a cracker.
00:19:20.160 --> 00:19:20.720
Yes.
00:19:20.960 --> 00:19:26.720
Like I so for the audience out there, I do work in healthcare.
00:19:26.799 --> 00:19:35.200
And so during COVID, I I was, I want to say lucky, but that's a terrible way to put it.
00:19:35.279 --> 00:19:38.559
But I I was the person who was essential and was going to work.
00:19:38.799 --> 00:19:45.039
Yes, my my partner at the time too, he's still my partner, but he we were just starting when COVID hit.
00:19:45.119 --> 00:19:45.359
Yeah.
00:19:45.599 --> 00:19:50.160
But he also was essential, and his mental health like was alive and well.
00:19:50.319 --> 00:19:51.440
Yeah, no, mine stood up.
00:19:51.680 --> 00:19:55.839
Not that your mental health wasn't challenged by also being out there, especially in healthcare.
00:19:56.160 --> 00:19:56.720
Totally different.
00:19:56.960 --> 00:20:03.279
But it but it was like, but you still got to socialize, you still had like supports, and like it was it's different.
00:20:03.519 --> 00:20:15.279
The world was turning, and I wasn't in a box where if I started to crash out or have symptoms such as brain fog, hot flashes, bowel irritability, we could go on.
00:20:15.519 --> 00:20:21.759
Um I wasn't detached from the ability to go, why is this happening to me?
00:20:22.000 --> 00:20:28.799
Whereas you were in a situation where no matter what your symptom was, someone was gonna say to you, Well, it's it's lockdown, it's COVID.
00:20:29.039 --> 00:20:29.200
Right.
00:20:29.279 --> 00:20:31.279
And the name just came to me, Cushings.
00:20:31.440 --> 00:20:32.720
They thought I had Cushings.
00:20:33.359 --> 00:20:34.400
That's close to Crohn's.
00:20:34.559 --> 00:20:37.200
Um at all, but it's you know what I mean.
00:20:37.279 --> 00:20:41.359
But it's so cushions because again, the weight gain.
00:20:41.759 --> 00:20:46.319
So they were fearful that I was gaining weight at such a rapid pace.
00:20:46.400 --> 00:20:48.640
But again, this was all over Zoom.
00:20:49.279 --> 00:21:01.599
And so that something was going on with my body that was uh it was like either I was eating too much of the homemade bread that I was making, or that it was like, you know, this cushion.
00:21:01.680 --> 00:21:06.480
So I had to do all this testing and it was crazy, but it was and then it turned out nope, not cushions.
00:21:06.559 --> 00:21:08.319
And I was like shocking, you know.
00:21:08.720 --> 00:21:15.920
You know, here here we are, like you're made to believe or led down a path where you could potentially have a life-altering diagnosis.
00:21:18.559 --> 00:21:39.119
Right, like you you're being led down this crazy pathway of you know, everything is in detriment, everything is in detriment when there was probably 50 touch points with the healthcare system where you could where someone could have just said, Oh, girl, you this is perimenopause.
00:21:39.359 --> 00:21:39.519
Right?
00:21:39.599 --> 00:21:40.559
What's your period like?
00:21:40.799 --> 00:21:42.960
No one, not one person asked me, right?
00:21:43.039 --> 00:21:46.799
It's almost like women don't exist, like we're gonna have to go back to this.
00:21:47.039 --> 00:21:49.599
Oh, don't worry, I will be on my feminist soapbox a lot.
00:21:49.759 --> 00:21:59.680
But but literally, as if you go into the medical system, where whether you're going to a primary care provider, whether you're going into a walk in clinic, whatever it is that you're doing.
00:22:00.240 --> 00:22:17.440
And not one person at those touch points is saying, you know, instead of catastrophizing this whole thing and seeing it trying to rule out cushions, why don't we if you hear hooves, ladies and gentlemen, I think the lessons we've learned in the last couple of years is think horses.
00:22:17.519 --> 00:22:18.000
Yes.
00:22:18.160 --> 00:22:20.400
And you were being fed zebras all day long.
00:22:20.640 --> 00:22:31.279
Well, and because I had such high cortisol because of the stress and all the things that were going on because of COVID, I did have that herbinger's hump or whatever on the back of my neck, super sad.
00:22:31.680 --> 00:22:33.519
Somebody tell me what the actual name of this is.
00:22:33.680 --> 00:22:35.039
That is my it's something like that.
00:22:35.119 --> 00:22:35.680
It doesn't matter.
00:22:35.839 --> 00:22:38.799
The point is, is that it's very often associated with cushing.
00:22:38.960 --> 00:22:41.519
So like they were like, You have this is the best part too.
00:22:41.680 --> 00:22:43.440
Like, don't check my hormones or anything.
00:22:43.599 --> 00:22:43.759
No.
00:22:43.920 --> 00:22:45.599
I had like facial hair.
00:22:45.839 --> 00:22:46.240
Yes.
00:22:46.480 --> 00:22:48.720
I had my hair on my head was falling out.
00:22:49.039 --> 00:22:49.279
Check.
00:22:49.440 --> 00:22:54.000
And they were like, well, your thyroid is on the low end of normal, but it's still normal.
00:22:54.160 --> 00:23:00.799
Um, which I've come to know now is like kind of a bit of a misnomer because they don't test all the parts of your thyroid.
00:23:00.960 --> 00:23:08.400
Um, and then they were like, Oh, you have like terrible, you know, weight gain around your belly and blah, blah, blah.
00:23:08.480 --> 00:23:13.680
And then I was like, so they actually sent me to an endocrinologist after a lot of protesting, right?
00:23:14.079 --> 00:23:20.960
Where he basically was like, if you just wait long enough, we can put you on like metformin and insulin.
00:23:21.440 --> 00:23:21.599
Right.
00:23:21.759 --> 00:23:29.119
So just get a little bit sicker and then and then we'll just put some chemicals and horm bioidenticals into your body and we'll see if we can't write.
00:23:29.599 --> 00:23:37.279
Again, why are we getting all the way to an endocrinologist without somebody saying, How old are you?
00:23:37.440 --> 00:23:37.680
Yeah.
00:23:37.759 --> 00:23:39.519
And how regular are your periods?
00:23:40.000 --> 00:23:40.319
Thank you.
00:23:40.480 --> 00:23:40.960
Exactly.
00:23:41.200 --> 00:23:43.759
Have you experienced hot flashes?
00:23:44.000 --> 00:23:44.319
Right.
00:23:44.559 --> 00:23:48.000
Do you how's your how's your anxiety level?
00:23:48.079 --> 00:23:51.200
How's your you know, brain function baseline?
00:23:51.279 --> 00:23:57.119
Like and all of those people would be like, if I said, Oh, I'm feeling more anxious or I'm not sleeping well, they'd be like, Oh, it's because of lockdown.
00:23:57.440 --> 00:23:58.960
This okay, yeah.
00:23:59.279 --> 00:24:04.720
I didn't even seriously after of years of friendship between us, years of sitting around and talking.
00:24:04.880 --> 00:24:11.839
I literally have never put together that you went headlong into perimenopause during the pandemic.
00:24:12.000 --> 00:24:12.400
Yes.
00:24:12.640 --> 00:24:14.160
I completely missed the boat.
00:24:14.240 --> 00:24:15.200
My apologies on that.
00:24:15.440 --> 00:24:16.160
No, how could you?
00:24:16.240 --> 00:24:17.680
Because I was chasing cushions.
00:24:18.000 --> 00:24:19.359
Right, with your hump.
00:24:19.599 --> 00:24:20.400
Right with my hump.
00:24:20.640 --> 00:24:21.119
It was bomb.
00:24:21.519 --> 00:24:22.240
You and your hump.
00:24:22.480 --> 00:24:24.799
It's still there, kind of, but I I've learned to love it.
00:24:24.880 --> 00:24:25.119
All right.
00:24:25.519 --> 00:24:26.319
I tattooed it.
00:24:26.400 --> 00:24:26.799
It's fine.
00:24:27.119 --> 00:24:33.680
You know, it's it's one of those things that now I think they call it like the the the phone phone hump or something.
00:24:33.759 --> 00:24:37.599
Like I saw a thing for chiropractors where it's like, do you have a hump on your back?
00:24:37.680 --> 00:24:38.960
It's because you're on your phone all the time.
00:24:39.039 --> 00:24:46.720
So it's probably I I'm probably slouching now, but I I mean it has a lot to do with cortisol, and I can't say my cortisol's dropped.
00:24:46.880 --> 00:24:49.279
Uh, ma'am, uh, outsider looking in, right?
00:24:49.440 --> 00:24:50.559
I'm gonna say no.
00:24:50.720 --> 00:24:50.960
Right.
00:24:51.119 --> 00:25:03.279
Uh I talk to you right now and for a long while, you know, monthly to weekly, weekly to daily basis, and your cortisol level is probably terrifying.
00:25:03.599 --> 00:25:05.279
That's that's the only word that comes to mind.
00:25:05.599 --> 00:25:09.119
Girl, I peed in a bucket for three days, or like it's like a collection.
00:25:09.920 --> 00:25:11.519
I don't know, 24-hour urine collection.
00:25:11.680 --> 00:25:12.240
Yes, absolutely.
00:25:12.720 --> 00:25:20.559
Uh and so, yeah, my cortisol is high, as a matter of fact, but uh and not high enough, not high enough, so for them to to do anything.
00:25:20.720 --> 00:25:35.200
So and then, you know, it like this is something that I would love to know more about is like if in perimetopause we do gain weight around the middle and our like does it impact our cortisol levels?
00:25:35.440 --> 00:25:40.160
Like, is this another hormone that is getting absolutely ruined?
00:25:40.400 --> 00:25:42.720
Well, maybe by the next episode I'll have done some research.
00:25:42.799 --> 00:25:52.480
That's my part of my hero spiciness, but um, but yeah, I do know that like as our belly fat gets higher, so like it impacts our estrogen.
00:25:52.559 --> 00:25:53.359
I do know that.
00:25:53.599 --> 00:25:53.920
Okay.
00:25:54.319 --> 00:26:14.960
Because like I remember just prior to COVID, I had been diagnosed with estrogen dominance, but it like to be very honest, the naturopath I was seeing said that I was like a teenager in puberty from the waist up and a 75-year-old woman from the waist down.
00:26:15.279 --> 00:26:17.440
And so, and I was like, preach, preach.
00:26:17.839 --> 00:26:29.119
However, because at the time I hadn't known it had affected like my libido and my like even just my vaginal tissue, to be very honest with you, to be very hello listeners.
00:26:29.200 --> 00:26:30.160
This is our first episode.
00:26:30.480 --> 00:26:36.720
Um, but like, yeah, so it had, but I had been seeking help for a long time.
00:26:37.119 --> 00:26:41.119
I can actually remember uh like segue, but not Segway.
00:26:41.279 --> 00:26:51.200
Um, I can actually remember seeking help myself, yeah, for um weight gain and unwanted facial hair.
00:26:51.359 --> 00:26:53.759
I was I was growing a chin strap.
00:26:54.000 --> 00:26:56.000
It was actually like somewhat impressive.
00:26:56.160 --> 00:26:57.519
I had like a soul patch, yeah.
00:26:57.759 --> 00:26:59.920
I didn't want to be that guy, right?
00:27:00.079 --> 00:27:01.519
Some people, cool, cool, cool.
00:27:01.680 --> 00:27:02.640
That's what they're into.
00:27:02.720 --> 00:27:04.319
And I power to you.
00:27:04.400 --> 00:27:04.720
I love it.
00:27:04.799 --> 00:27:05.279
I love it for you.
00:27:05.680 --> 00:27:06.880
Like an ex-husband, I can't.
00:27:07.119 --> 00:27:10.240
Well, so I was like, I can't like do that to my children.
00:27:10.480 --> 00:27:13.839
There was there were numerous movie characters that came to mind with my chin strap.
00:27:14.240 --> 00:27:16.160
Prince had a moment with a chin strap.
00:27:16.640 --> 00:27:17.039
Yeah.
00:27:17.200 --> 00:27:32.480
So I was reaching heights with this thing and gaining weight around the middle, as I say, it have I was having heart palpitations, um, I was having sleep disturbances, and mood and and emotional disturbances were off the charts.
00:27:32.880 --> 00:27:34.640
And I did the same thing.
00:27:34.720 --> 00:27:36.319
I sought out a naturopath.
00:27:36.559 --> 00:27:41.119
Yes, and I did all the blood work, and I don't know if I peed for 24 hours in a bucket.
00:27:41.359 --> 00:27:42.640
Oh, that was the endocrinologist.
00:27:42.880 --> 00:27:43.279
Okay, okay.
00:27:43.359 --> 00:27:46.880
So I was like, I was dual banjoing at this point.
00:27:47.200 --> 00:27:51.359
You were doing the best you doing at all the most, I think is the term the kids are using these days.
00:27:51.440 --> 00:27:53.440
I don't do the most doing the most, yeah.
00:27:53.680 --> 00:27:54.079
Absolutely.
00:27:54.640 --> 00:28:07.839
So here we have two approaching middle age at the time, women having very similar symptoms, both being led astray.
00:28:08.240 --> 00:28:08.799
Yes.
00:28:09.119 --> 00:28:13.359
I can remember praying that my thyroid was fucked.
00:28:13.519 --> 00:28:13.839
Yes.
00:28:14.319 --> 00:28:14.880
I wanted an answer.
00:28:15.200 --> 00:28:16.720
My mom says, maybe mine is.
00:28:16.880 --> 00:28:18.000
Like I'm hoping.
00:28:18.240 --> 00:28:24.240
I was actually hoping for a and no, listen, I am not trying to minimize thyroid disorders in any way.
00:28:25.519 --> 00:28:28.319
When you have an answer, then it feels real.
00:28:28.640 --> 00:28:33.839
Yeah, just to be able to get into a lane.
00:28:34.079 --> 00:28:34.559
Yes.
00:28:34.880 --> 00:28:38.000
Put me in the thyroid lane, whatever lane you're gonna do.
00:28:38.160 --> 00:28:39.599
Then we can work on this, right?
00:28:39.680 --> 00:28:43.359
But instead, they were like, here's$800 a month worth of vitamins.
00:28:43.519 --> 00:28:44.240
Good luck.
00:28:44.480 --> 00:28:45.039
Yes.
00:28:45.359 --> 00:28:49.119
And turns out all that did was empty my bank account.
00:28:49.359 --> 00:28:50.960
Um, yeah, for me.
00:28:51.039 --> 00:28:51.279
For me.
00:28:51.519 --> 00:28:58.000
No, absolutely, but it it was similar in that again, I was through like I everything got shut down through COVID.
00:28:58.160 --> 00:29:04.640
So they thought that like I was doing vitamin bags and I was doing like all kinds of stuff trying to support my body.
00:29:04.720 --> 00:29:06.880
Like I really truly wanted to feel better.
00:29:07.200 --> 00:29:14.480
And in in this time when people were giving you vitamins and like literally no one mentioned this could be perimetapodic.
00:29:14.799 --> 00:29:21.839
Not one person, like that's the wildest part that it's so prominent now, which is great.
00:29:22.079 --> 00:29:22.400
Yeah.
00:29:22.480 --> 00:29:34.559
Oh, I the reason we're sitting here talking today is because an entire the there's a platforms based on women finally saying, wait, hold up, yo-yo, okay.
00:29:34.880 --> 00:29:36.799
This is this is an actual thing.
00:29:37.039 --> 00:29:53.200
So mind-boggling, you went to an endocrinologist, you went to a naturopath, likely you got to your endocrinologist through your primary care practitioner, and not one of those people ever said it could be perimenopause, but let's rule out thyroid cushions, etc.
00:29:53.519 --> 00:30:00.160
Yeah, diabetes, like you know, or you're pre-cause I was getting like up to weights that was like they're like, oh, maybe pre-diabetic.
00:30:00.240 --> 00:30:05.440
Like, this is why you're so tired all the time and you have the brain fog and the blah blah blah blah bloop.
00:30:05.599 --> 00:30:06.720
And I was like, Oh, okay.
00:30:06.880 --> 00:30:10.880
So, and I really truly like then I would switch my diet and I would exercise more.
00:30:11.599 --> 00:30:18.319
But what was really wild is I was like exercising more and just getting increasingly tired and weaker.
00:30:18.640 --> 00:30:30.559
My muscles, my muscles, I was doing CrossFit at the time, like my muscles started to like because CrossFit you like keep score up, or not you know, your PRs or whatever, yeah, personal bests.
00:30:30.880 --> 00:30:41.200
And it just started dropping, and I'm like, I can like I have quantifiable evidence that like I'm getting weaker, yeah.
00:30:41.519 --> 00:30:43.759
Like, and it's not through lack of effort, right?
00:30:43.920 --> 00:30:52.559
The more the more I try, the more I fail, which is a horrible thing to say, but but that's what it felt like, and so yeah, absolutely.
00:30:52.640 --> 00:31:01.359
Now that we have these like accessible people who are like speaking out and things, it's been a lot cooler, but I'm also at like almost the very end.
00:31:02.240 --> 00:31:08.640
I mean, I think that we might be nearing the end, sure, being 47, being 49.
00:31:08.720 --> 00:31:12.160
I my dog is barking like crazy in the background, ladies and gentlemen.
00:31:12.240 --> 00:31:12.880
I'm so sorry.
00:31:13.599 --> 00:31:15.039
Um here I can pause it.
00:31:15.200 --> 00:31:16.000
We can pause it.
00:31:16.240 --> 00:31:17.839
I don't know how he's not gonna stop.
00:31:17.920 --> 00:31:18.799
Don't pause it.
00:31:19.519 --> 00:31:20.319
We'll edit this out.
00:31:20.559 --> 00:31:20.720
Okay.
00:31:20.880 --> 00:31:22.160
Well okay.
00:31:22.319 --> 00:31:23.920
I don't know how to edit, but that's fine.
00:31:24.160 --> 00:31:25.200
Christian will edit it out.
00:31:25.440 --> 00:31:26.720
Oh, again with the names.
00:31:26.880 --> 00:31:32.960
I right we all right, back on point, back on point.
00:31:33.200 --> 00:31:46.160
We might be near the end, but I first of all I think that those of us in our late 40s now still need to have validation that what we went through was perimenopause.
00:31:46.319 --> 00:31:53.839
We weren't uh crazy and we weren't um just having no symptoms and making shit up.
00:31:54.079 --> 00:31:58.160
Um, so there is a there's room for us to be validated before it's too late.
00:31:58.319 --> 00:32:00.640
Uh, I'd like to see that happen.
00:32:00.960 --> 00:32:17.119
And then I I'm getting the sense from different articles I'm reading, different sources of information that even when you hit menopause the 12 months plus a day past your last now it's a year and a half.
00:32:17.440 --> 00:32:17.920
Oh, super.
00:32:18.000 --> 00:32:19.599
We made it 18 months, did we?
00:32:19.759 --> 00:32:20.480
I think so.
00:32:20.720 --> 00:32:21.200
Excellent.
00:32:21.359 --> 00:32:24.559
So I mean, I should fact check that, but I'm pretty sure it's 18 months.
00:32:24.880 --> 00:32:27.839
Yeah, we'll come back at you with a fact check on that for sure.
00:32:28.000 --> 00:32:33.519
Uh, because I know quite recently I've heard both of those figures bounced around.
00:32:33.680 --> 00:32:35.279
That's neither here nor there.
00:32:35.680 --> 00:32:56.319
Once you hit menopause and you're in this post-menopausal state, my understanding is that we could have the joy, the pleasure, the privilege of continuing to have body aches, fatigue, brain fog, breast tenderness, vaginal dryness.
00:32:56.640 --> 00:32:58.240
I need I go on.
00:32:58.480 --> 00:32:58.799
Really?
00:32:58.960 --> 00:32:59.519
I don't, yeah.
00:32:59.599 --> 00:33:04.480
I'm not I have not picked that scab, to be honest with you, because I am maybe don't.
00:33:04.559 --> 00:33:06.880
Maybe listen ignorance is bliss.
00:33:06.960 --> 00:33:10.000
I don't like the word ignorance, but maybe just don't.
00:33:10.480 --> 00:33:15.599
Well, I feel for the sake of this podcast that we might have to, but yeah.
00:33:15.759 --> 00:33:31.839
But I'm getting the impression that even people are talking and and like we will go back, we will loop back on this, but I am getting the impression that there is a possibility of years of ongoing symptoms.
00:33:32.000 --> 00:33:41.119
Like, I don't think you just have the last period wait 18 months and then everything is all better.
00:33:41.359 --> 00:33:45.279
Okay, but why I know it's a but I feel it's let down.
00:33:45.519 --> 00:33:48.319
Well, okay, but so was getting my period for the first time.
00:33:48.480 --> 00:33:53.279
Like after watching so many Tampax commercials, I really thought that my life was gonna be blissful.
00:33:53.519 --> 00:33:53.599
Right.
00:33:55.200 --> 00:34:01.599
I could still play tennis and ride a horse, even though I couldn't do either of those things prior to getting my period.
00:34:01.680 --> 00:34:03.839
But those girls looked super good doing it.
00:34:03.920 --> 00:34:04.400
Yes, right.
00:34:04.559 --> 00:34:04.799
Yeah.
00:34:05.039 --> 00:34:08.000
Um, but no, so that's that's a bit of a bummer.
00:34:08.159 --> 00:34:08.400
Okay.
00:34:08.559 --> 00:34:08.719
Yeah.
00:34:09.119 --> 00:34:13.840
I see she's bringing her birthday energy into the rest of the here it is, dragging dragging us down.
00:34:14.000 --> 00:34:14.719
I'm so sorry.
00:34:14.880 --> 00:34:32.320
Listen, I wanted to be so positive about the 12 months or 18 months post-Menzies, and I was going to have a snatched waist, and I was not gonna have a man beard anymore.
00:34:32.639 --> 00:34:42.960
And my mental fortitude would be sharp, and I was looking so forward to waking up and being able to walk when I got out of bed.
00:34:43.119 --> 00:34:45.440
Yeah, without making the noise, grunting, yeah.
00:34:45.519 --> 00:34:50.880
I know totally, totally the like uh uh uh of getting out of bed.
00:34:51.199 --> 00:34:57.599
And then I made the mistake of picking that scab and finding out that actually, in fact, it can carry on.
00:34:57.679 --> 00:35:00.559
I I mean, I'm happy to go back.
00:35:00.800 --> 00:35:06.239
I'm happy to say, never mind, I didn't learn that, and let's just see what happens.
00:35:06.400 --> 00:35:12.480
No, we all put a pin in that, but I absolutely am gonna absolutely fact check that because I am afraid now.
00:35:12.719 --> 00:35:14.079
I mean, but I get that.
00:35:14.320 --> 00:35:32.400
It's only because I feel like perimenopause, the whole sort of voice of perimenopause and the or the banner, or I again I don't have a word, is that like there's hope post like I I know they keep calling it post-menopause, but I guess it's just menopause once you actually have menopaused.
00:35:32.800 --> 00:35:33.280
Yeah, right.
00:35:33.679 --> 00:35:37.679
I feel like menopause is just the state of not is is after perimenopause.
00:35:37.760 --> 00:35:38.239
Yeah, right.
00:35:38.480 --> 00:35:49.840
So I guess like I really thought that like you know, purgatory, and then you just like get through and there's like a bucket of gold at the end of the rainbow.
00:35:50.239 --> 00:35:52.559
Like I said, snatched waste, yeah, no facial.
00:35:52.960 --> 00:36:05.199
Well, even I don't even yes, and like I I I've actually given up the joy, like the dream of like I just I don't think I can be, I won't be like necessarily fit ever again.
00:36:06.079 --> 00:36:19.519
I I say this in that in that I actually have lost the will to as soon as somebody says lost the will, I'm like, oh no.
00:36:19.840 --> 00:36:25.440
Right, like I don't actually like I'm starting to look at life in a different like through a different lens.
00:36:25.599 --> 00:36:27.199
Do I want to be healthy?
00:36:27.440 --> 00:36:29.199
Yeah, absolutely do I.
00:36:29.440 --> 00:36:38.559
Yeah, I want to be able to, when I'm 75, 80, sit on a toilet and stand up without the use of like an aid.
00:36:38.639 --> 00:36:52.880
Like I know because it was interesting because when I was doing when I was working at a lot, we talked about like squats being so important because that muscle group is so important in your old age, older age, elder years, golden years.
00:36:53.119 --> 00:36:53.599
There we go.
00:36:53.840 --> 00:37:01.119
That um, like for things like getting off the toilet, I had never even considered why they needed toilet lifts, right?
00:37:01.199 --> 00:37:04.320
I truly didn't, or why chairs elevated people, right?
00:37:04.559 --> 00:37:06.320
I never ever thought of that.
00:37:07.119 --> 00:37:09.360
I don't know if I have either, and now I'm right.
00:37:09.519 --> 00:37:10.559
So I was like, oh shit.
00:37:10.639 --> 00:37:11.360
So that's what I mean.
00:37:11.440 --> 00:37:14.719
Like I want to be like healthy and strong, right?
00:37:14.880 --> 00:37:21.440
But I don't actually want to focus ever again for the rest of my life on the aesthetic, on the aesthetic of being fit.
00:37:21.760 --> 00:37:22.320
I think that's fair.
00:37:22.559 --> 00:37:23.679
I'm just uh that's me.
00:37:23.840 --> 00:37:37.440
I just I can be because I I've realized I've spent almost 50 years being that person, worrying more about the aesthetic necessarily than the the like benefits of exercise.
00:37:37.679 --> 00:37:46.000
Yeah, I feel like there's like when I s I mean I'm joking, I'm being very sort of glib when I say things about my chin beard and my snatch waist.
00:37:46.800 --> 00:37:52.800
I also do not live under the illusion that I'm ever going to look the way I did in my 20s.
00:37:52.960 --> 00:37:53.199
No.
00:37:53.360 --> 00:38:04.079
And I think a part of the perimenopause picture is women being allowed to accept themselves the way they look now and not fight for that image.
00:38:04.239 --> 00:38:10.880
I I'm 100% in agreement with the actual end goal is like functionality.
00:38:11.039 --> 00:38:11.519
Yes.
00:38:11.760 --> 00:38:16.480
Like I want to have a functioning body that will serve me.
00:38:16.880 --> 00:38:27.599
Because right now, though, to be very honest with you, I don't feel like I don't if you remember like that Looney tunes, or like actually, it's more pinky in the brain that I'm thinking of, but I don't know if anybody, it's a very odd reference.
00:38:27.760 --> 00:38:32.400
But there was an episode where they like built a dude and they were like in the head, like controlling it.
00:38:32.719 --> 00:38:33.840
I 100% remember this.
00:38:34.159 --> 00:38:34.320
Right.
00:38:34.480 --> 00:38:37.280
So that's kind of what my body feels like right now.
00:38:37.440 --> 00:38:40.639
Like even when I work out, it doesn't feel like me.
00:38:40.800 --> 00:38:46.400
Like I don't have it's the strength in my muscles, I don't have the stamina, I don't have the resilience.
00:38:46.639 --> 00:38:47.039
Right.
00:38:47.440 --> 00:38:56.559
I instead feel like there's like these weird little gremlins or two mice, I guess, in my brain controlling the sticks.
00:38:56.639 --> 00:39:00.719
Like I and in that includes my moods, that includes my sleep, that includes everything.
00:39:00.800 --> 00:39:00.960
Yeah.
00:39:01.119 --> 00:39:07.119
So I'm hoping, I guess, in my golden years, that it looks more like I'm back in the driver's right.
00:39:07.280 --> 00:39:08.400
You've got the grasp on it.
00:39:08.559 --> 00:39:08.880
Yes.
00:39:09.119 --> 00:39:21.679
I love that for us, and I absolutely couldn't hope more that I am going to wake up one day and I I am definitely searching for that that end goal.
00:39:21.840 --> 00:39:22.079
Right.
00:39:22.320 --> 00:39:22.719
100%.
00:39:23.119 --> 00:39:47.760
That's that's I I think the only reason I'm getting through perimenopause, why I'm, you know, forcing my way, trudging through what feels like bags of cement on a daily basis, is that I am gonna reach that point of the post-menopausal phase or whatever you want to call it, where I will hopefully have gained a functionality back.
00:39:48.320 --> 00:39:57.760
And my brain is my brain again, and my control over my body is my control over my body again, and it won't feel so out of hand.
00:39:58.400 --> 00:40:02.639
Well, I think that that's a really good place to stop.
00:40:03.599 --> 00:40:04.800
Yeah, we could.
00:40:05.119 --> 00:40:08.880
I think, you know, just take it away with that.
00:40:09.039 --> 00:40:09.199
Right.
00:40:09.519 --> 00:40:10.079
Food for thought.
00:40:10.320 --> 00:40:10.639
Exactly.
00:40:10.719 --> 00:40:12.480
Because really, this was an intro to us.
00:40:12.559 --> 00:40:20.719
So now you know that although we started with a topic, it never will we we just we just go where the river flows, to be very honest with you.
00:40:20.960 --> 00:40:24.320
Um, so hopefully you'll join us next time.
00:40:24.719 --> 00:40:25.199
Soon.
00:40:25.440 --> 00:40:25.599
Right?
00:40:25.679 --> 00:40:26.559
Well, yeah, yes.
00:40:26.639 --> 00:40:29.679
We're gonna try weekly, I think, or bi-weekly.
00:40:29.760 --> 00:40:32.320
Well, it depends on where we're at in our ladies and gentlemen.
00:40:32.400 --> 00:40:33.519
We're gonna do our best.
00:40:33.599 --> 00:40:33.760
Yes.
00:40:34.000 --> 00:40:34.800
Can we just tell you that?
00:40:34.960 --> 00:40:35.920
Yes, we're gonna do our best.
00:40:36.159 --> 00:40:39.920
If what I have to offer you is weekly, you're welcome.
00:40:40.159 --> 00:40:40.480
Right.
00:40:40.719 --> 00:40:42.239
Yeah, you are welcome.
00:40:42.559 --> 00:40:43.440
So, yes.
00:40:43.599 --> 00:40:47.920
So please join us on the next episode of Menopause Mix Day.
00:40:48.000 --> 00:40:50.559
And we're so happy to have met you.
00:40:50.719 --> 00:40:53.039
And yeah, I can't wait for next month.
00:40:53.199 --> 00:40:53.519
All right.
00:40:53.679 --> 00:40:54.719
Well, thanks everybody.
00:40:54.880 --> 00:40:55.360
Thank you.
00:40:55.599 --> 00:40:55.840
Cheers.
