Rethinking Forgiveness | Katharine Giovanni | 215

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Welcome to the Manders Mindset Podcast.
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Here you'll find both monologue and interviews of entrepreneurs, coaches, healers, and a variety of other people, where your host, Amanda Russo, will discuss her own mindset and perspective, and her guests' mindset and perspective on the world around us.
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Manders and her guests will help explain to you how shifting your mindset will shift your life.
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Welcome to Mandarin's Mindset, where we explore the power of shifting your mindset to shift your life.
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I'm your host, Amanda Louis.
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And I'm here today with Catherine Diemy.
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She is a three-time award-winning best-selling author, a speaker, and one of the original founders of the independent concierge industry.
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She's an author of a dozen, more than a dozen books, including her latest The Ultimate Path to Forgiveness, Unlocking Your Power.
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And we are going to delve down forgiveness and a method that she has in regards to that.
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Thank you so much for joining me.
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Thanks for having me.
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I appreciate it.
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Absolutely.
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So who would you say Katherine is at the core?
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At the core, I'm a teacher.
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Plain and simple.
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And I like to turn people's lights on.
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About as short as I can say it.
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If something I say can lead to somebody's healing or to spark them, then that's that that's that's my mana.
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That's why I wake up in the morning.
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Have you always been a teacher?
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Yeah, actually, since I was young.
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I've been doing this a very long time.
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And it's just being there for people and paying attention.
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And I'm very intuitive.
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I hid my intuition for 40 years.
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So and I'd flip the language for people.
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But now with this for the forgiveness method that I've discovered, now I really get to turn people's lights on because our world is broken.
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And forgiving the people that hurt you, that's gonna go a long way to help people to heal, including those unforgivable, ugly ones.
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I agree.
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Now you you mentioned hiding your intuition for 40 years.
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I love that we could backtrack a dad.
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Can you take us down memory lane a little bit?
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Tell us about your family dynamic, childhood.
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However, deep you want to take that.
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I grew up when dinosaurs roamed the earth uh in the 1970s, and I was raised by an alcoholic family.
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And connect all the dots you want, they're all correct.
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It was a very dysfunctional family.
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Both my parents were alcoholics, and I was terribly bullied in school because I was different and I was intuitive.
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But back in the 1970s, and sadly, in some places today, it should we shouldn't be doing this anymore, but we are.
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If you exhibited just a smidgen of intuition, they would slap a she's crazy as a bed bug sticker across your forehead, give you medicine, and put you in the crazy bin.
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And I knew that, and I knew my family would, so I kept what I could do because I'm I'm actually very into it.
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I'm clear wet and clear audience, clear sentient, and empathic, and I just kept it to myself.
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I didn't tell anybody, I mean, I didn't tell anybody because I wanted to fit in, I wanted to be like everybody else, but I wasn't, and I started to get bullied, and my parents were drinking, and so in the eighth grade, I tried to commit suicide, and I had a friend, and she, while I was thinking of committing suicide, I kept hearing call vivs.
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So I did.
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She talked me out of it, and we're still friends to this day.
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In fact, she went on to be a vascular surgeon and has saved thousands of people's lives.
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I just happened to be the very first one.
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So life went on for a while, and eventually my parents divorced, and my mother, still raging alcoholic, eventually, a number of years later, fell down a flight of stairs, broke her hip.
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And even my mother couldn't get a gin and tonic in the hospital.
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So she dried out and she went to a rehab.
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And we spent the next few years tighter than sisters.
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I mean, tighter than tight.
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We practically finished each other's sentences, we forgave each other, we told each other's stories.
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She, I finally got to know the woman who gave birth to me, and we became best friends.
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And three years later, she contracted breast cancer, which I got in 2012, and she died.
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And I knew without a shadow of a doubt, that was my flash point.
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Every human, 10 out of 10 humans, have a flashpoint.
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Everybody does.
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And it's that one time of your life that that changes your trajectory.
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And some people have more than one.
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And I knew that if I didn't clean up my act, I was gonna die too.
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So it's the only New Year's resolution I ever kept.
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I quit drinking on that year, and I've been sober now for 35 years.
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And when you get sober, at least back in the 70s, they want you to make amends.
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Okay.
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I was very shy, and we didn't have technology.
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Remember, dinosaurs were literally roaming, and we didn't have it.
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We had a choice.
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We could call the person on the phone, which was awful, because they're probably gonna yell at you, right?
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Or you could go see them in person, which was horrific.
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So I didn't do either one because I didn't want to.
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So I forgave people in the quiet of my own home, and I accidentally stumbled into the first part of my forgiveness system.
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And as I felt better and I started forgiving more and more people, and I started teaching it in business, flipping the words, so nobody would know what I was doing, it kind of took off and people started to be attracted to it.
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I've been teaching this for about 20 years, and it wasn't until 2020 that some friends of mine we finally figured out the special sauce to forgiveness, and we put it in a book.
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Oh, and I came out of the intuitive closet when I married my husband and finally admitted what I could do.
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And then in 2020, a really close friend of mine who's very intuitive finally said, I know what you've been doing, I know what you are, and you got to stop hiding it.
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The rest is history.
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You mentioned you've stumbled upon the first step.
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Let me back up.
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The thing about forgiveness that makes it so hard for people is everybody tells you to forgive.
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Your minister, your parents, your teachers, everybody and their uncle tell you to forgive.
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Nobody teaches you how.
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And then one if you don't want to.
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You see, on a 10 scale, with 10 being unforgivable dumpster fire, and one being the easiest person in the world to forgive, 10 out of 10 people listening or watching this broadcast right now are thinking of their number 10 person.
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And that's completely fair because they hurt you desperately.
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My system is going to start you off with the easy ones.
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And the unforgivables, I'm the only one that's going to look at you and say, you don't have to forgive the unforgivable people in your life.
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Why?
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Because there's a lot of people, places, and things.
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I did say places and things that you can forgive before you even get to that person.
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We have a whole lot of other stuff we can do before we get to them.
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And there's some things about forgiveness that are just flat wrong.
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Just because I forgive you doesn't mean I want a relationship with you.
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I probably don't.
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Right?
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You're still wrong, and I need you to stay over there.
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I got boundaries in place.
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Well, Catherine, they don't deserve my forgiveness.
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No, they don't.
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They don't.
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They absolutely don't deserve your forgiveness.
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You're not doing it for them.
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You're doing it for you.
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They're gonna stay the same horrible person they've always been.
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You're the one who's gonna change.
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Well, just because if I forgive them, that means I'm giving in.
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Okay.
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No, no, again.
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Just because I forgive you doesn't mean I'm giving you a pass.
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It doesn't mean that I'm saying you were right and I was wrong.
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The formal definition of forgiveness for me personally is simply this.
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I want you out of my head.
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That's it.
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I wanted you out of my head.
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I want to stop thinking about you.
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I want to stop dreaming about you.
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I want the triggers to stop.
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I want you out of my head.
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It's as simple as that.
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That makes a lot of sense.
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So you start with the early with the easier ones.
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Earlier on, it's the easier ones.
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Yeah, we can go through it with forgiveness.
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I want you to take it in baby steps, right?
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And we're gonna get to the unforgivables in a minute because they're a bear.
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Now I want everybody to sit down alone in a room.
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And here's the hard part.
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I want you to turn your cell phone off.
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I know some of you are visibly twitching at the thought of turning your phones off.
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Like, get that.
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But I kind of want you to do it.
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And if you can't turn your phone off, turn the volume off.
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Don't have it vibrate because if it dances on your desk, you're gonna look at it like squirrel.
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You're gonna want to look at it and say, who is that?
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I need you to be alone without any distractions for about 15-20 minutes.
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It's really all it is, right?
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And then I want you to get a pad of paper and a pen.
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Okay, yeah.
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You probably want to get your tablet.
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I get that too.
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I am being a little old-fashioned.
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There's a reason for it.
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Years ago at Harvard University, they did a study back when I was in school, and they took two sets of kids.
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The first set of kids, they said, write down your goals and keep going.
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The other set of kids, say your goals out loud to the room and keep going.
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Then they followed the kids through the years, and the kids that wrote their goals down were twice as successful as the kids who did not.
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So there's something magical that happens when it goes from your brain down your arm onto a pen and paper.
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Now, if you're fighting me and you really need to use your tablet, go ahead.
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It's fine.
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What I want you to do is I want you to write a list of people that you think you need to forgive.
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The top five are gonna be the ugly ones, the unforgivables.
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That's normal.
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Everybody puts their top five down first.
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You know, I'm gonna forgive Tom, and he did this, and he's my eh.
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Everybody does that.
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Write it down, but keep going.
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I want you to write everybody.
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I want you to go all the way to the sandbox when you're at grammar school.
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Think of those kids.
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I want you to think of the person who cut you off in aisle four of the grocery store yesterday.
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Write grocery store person down on your list.
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Somebody cuts you off on I 95 South.
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Write that person down.
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So even Papu, you don't necessarily know names up, but like even like the person who stole your sandwich from the lunchroom at the work the other day, and they're doing it all the time, and you're really tempted to put Tabasco in the next one to catch who it is.
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Okay, forgive that person.
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They were hungry.
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Maybe they don't have a they didn't have a couple dimes of scrape together.
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You can forgive these people.
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Write your list, don't judge the list.
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If you write a name that you don't recognize, it just kind of comes out of your hand.
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Don't judge the list.
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That's your intuition.
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That's your brain coming up with a name that you need to forgive, but you probably don't remember.
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Don't judge the list.
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Friend of mine wrote down a little red wagon on her list.
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She didn't have any idea why she wrote down a little red wagon, but there it was.
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She kept it on the list and she forgave it.
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Did she remember it?
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No, but she forgave it anyway because some part of her brain needed her to forgive a little red wagon.
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Then I want you to look at those names and I want you to rate them from one to ten.
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Ten being unforgivable and one being super easy.
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Now, I don't care if you have 20 number fives, I really don't care.
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And I don't even care if you skip a number, I really don't care.
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But what I care desperately about is when you start the practice, you start with the easy ones and you work your way up to the hard ones.
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That I care about a lot.
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So I want you alone in the room.
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Spouses, significant others, children.
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I think they all, you need to be alone.
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The dog can be in there if it's a good dog.
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And I want you to put your hand in your heart, and I want you to imagine in your mind's eye the person who pick out a number one person, somebody you rated the easiest of easiest.
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For me, it was somebody I went to high school with, and we were best friends, and we had a falling out, and I couldn't remember what the falling out was about, and I couldn't even remember what we were fighting about.
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So she was clearly a one, easy to toss.
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So I want you to imagine in your mind's eye that the person is standing in front of you, not the adult.
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In this case, I imagine the high school kid that I used to know, not the adult.
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I want you to see the original person in front of you, not who they are today.
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And then here's where you can get some closure because you don't have to reach out to people, you don't have to call them.
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So you can forgive dead people because where they are or not doesn't matter a lick.
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If they're alive and well in your head, you can forgive it.
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And you can get closure because now I want you to imagine this person in front of you.
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If you have danger to say something, have at it.
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Say anything you want, laugh, cry, scream, rage, burn sage, dance.
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I don't care.
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And if you can't imagine the person in front of you, put a chair in front of you and talk to the chair.
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Heads.
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So talk to a chair.
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Say whatever you want.
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Then I want you to put your hand in your heart just to remind you to say the words through your heart.
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This is just for the humans.
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And I want you to say, I completely forgive Amanda.
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I forgive the energy around Amanda.
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I completely forgive myself.
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I forgive the energy around myself.
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I completely forgive the energy around the entire thing.
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Notice I'm talking about energy.
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Now, check in with your body.
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Are you still angry?
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No, great.
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Cross the name off the list, go to the next one.
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It was it a number three, a level three person, and you check in, you go, you know, I'm still mad.
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A little bit mad.
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Okay, cross, take the three, cross it out, put it to wait 24 hours, do it again.
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Don't do it right then.
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Do it again in 24 hours.
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This happened to a friend of mine.
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She was sitting right in front of me at the time.
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It was a level like four or five person.
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And she made that first pass with that mantra that I just gave you, and I could see it.
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She got mad and she just didn't get mad.
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She got pissed.
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It shot up to a 10.
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She's like, What happened?
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Supposed to go the other way.
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And I said, Well, the brain is a beautiful thing, man.
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And there's a closet in the back of your mind that's been padlocked for decades.
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And there's a movie playing in that closet.
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And you turn it off if you knew it was there, but you didn't know it was there.
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And you just said the magic words.
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And your brain is like, ooh, Catherine's ready for all these memories.
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And it opened up the closet and it flooded you with memories.
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So you cross out the number four, you put a 10, wait 24 hours, put them to the end of the list, and keep on going.
00:16:13.549 --> 00:16:16.269
But you'll notice I'm having you forgive energy.
00:16:16.429 --> 00:16:18.909
That's the magic, that's the magic sauce.
00:16:19.230 --> 00:16:27.470
Science has proven that everything on our planet has an energy field around them, including this little silver microphone that I am speaking into.
00:16:27.789 --> 00:16:32.829
The reason people don't stay forgiven, because I get people saying, I did the work.
00:16:32.990 --> 00:16:33.870
I did forgive them.
00:16:33.949 --> 00:16:34.990
Yeah, you did.
00:16:35.309 --> 00:16:37.389
But you didn't forgive the energy.
00:16:37.629 --> 00:16:40.429
And that's why it's still attached to you.
00:16:42.189 --> 00:16:47.629
How did you come to realize that it was the energy and not just the post set?
00:16:49.069 --> 00:16:53.789
That answer will stretch people's brains a little bit and might cause them to bleed.
00:16:53.870 --> 00:16:55.069
And I apologize.
00:16:55.230 --> 00:16:59.789
But the answer was intuitively given to my two friends and I as a group.
00:17:00.029 --> 00:17:02.350
It just kind of appeared in our heads.
00:17:02.590 --> 00:17:04.350
I really, I'm not making that up.
00:17:04.509 --> 00:17:05.630
That's really what happened.
00:17:05.789 --> 00:17:07.789
And one of them is a PhD.
00:17:07.950 --> 00:17:17.230
And once we got that, once we got that idea, then we were off and running, finding studies and figuring it out and trying out the method, and it works.
00:17:17.390 --> 00:17:19.150
I mean, this stuff works.
00:17:19.870 --> 00:17:25.390
And because starting with the easy ones and working your way up, you're chipping away at it.
00:17:25.870 --> 00:17:27.710
No, I'm just curious.
00:17:27.950 --> 00:17:34.750
Did you try this method before without using the term energy and even just saying them?
00:17:35.630 --> 00:17:36.990
I did for years.
00:17:37.070 --> 00:17:38.990
I used to forgive people all by myself.
00:17:39.150 --> 00:17:40.670
I forgave all sorts of people.
00:17:40.830 --> 00:17:42.110
I didn't forgive the energy.
00:17:42.269 --> 00:17:47.630
And the thing about it, and I come from a pretty interesting family, they wouldn't stay forgiven.
00:17:48.110 --> 00:17:51.550
They had a nasty habit of when I went to a family function.
00:17:51.630 --> 00:17:54.910
My family's mostly passed away at this point because that's how old I am.
00:17:55.070 --> 00:18:07.310
But back in those days, you'd go to a family function and you'd see, you'd get a Christmas card, or you'd see their name, or they'd call you up, and man, boom, you'd be off and running again and have to peel you off the ceiling.
00:18:07.390 --> 00:18:09.390
And I used to say, I thought I forgave them.
00:18:09.550 --> 00:18:10.670
I knew I forgave them.
00:18:10.830 --> 00:18:11.950
Boom, you're right back.
00:18:12.110 --> 00:18:14.350
It's because I didn't forgive the energy.
00:18:14.670 --> 00:18:19.710
And you can't get a number 10 unforgivable person down to a one overnight.
00:18:19.870 --> 00:18:20.990
It's not going to happen.
00:18:21.150 --> 00:18:22.190
This is a marathon.
00:18:22.269 --> 00:18:23.390
It's not a sprint.
00:18:23.630 --> 00:18:27.710
A lot of people call this the dark night of the soul or shadow work.
00:18:28.110 --> 00:18:29.870
Okay, shadow work, I like that.
00:18:29.950 --> 00:18:33.870
But dark night of the soul, no, that's completely misnames because it's never one night.
00:18:34.030 --> 00:18:38.509
But this is called shadow work because you're working with the shadows of your past.
00:18:38.910 --> 00:18:41.390
So, Catherine, I don't want to go back to my past.
00:18:41.550 --> 00:18:42.670
I've moved beyond it.
00:18:42.830 --> 00:18:43.470
I know you don't.
00:18:43.630 --> 00:18:44.509
I didn't either.
00:18:44.750 --> 00:18:46.590
But here's what's going to happen.
00:18:46.830 --> 00:18:48.670
And here's why I think you should.
00:18:48.830 --> 00:18:53.230
First of all, I'm only asking you to go back a couple more times and then it's going to be gone.
00:18:53.470 --> 00:18:55.630
I'm from New York City originally.
00:18:55.870 --> 00:19:00.910
And there is another little saying that people love to say, forgive and you will forget.
00:19:01.230 --> 00:19:01.550
No.
00:19:01.950 --> 00:19:02.830
Hard past.
00:19:04.110 --> 00:19:05.150
I'm from New York.
00:19:05.230 --> 00:19:06.750
We all forget anything.
00:19:06.990 --> 00:19:08.990
So, yeah, not gonna happen.
00:19:09.710 --> 00:19:11.710
And I speak for everybody who's in New York.
00:19:12.110 --> 00:19:13.230
They'll all get, yep.
00:19:13.390 --> 00:19:21.470
But what I can promise you is I can look into my past and I don't remember the bad stuff as much anymore.
00:19:21.630 --> 00:19:23.710
I actually see the love that was back there.
00:19:23.870 --> 00:19:24.990
I see the laughter.
00:19:25.150 --> 00:19:28.030
I see the adults that were trying to help that kid.
00:19:28.190 --> 00:19:29.870
That's what I see now.
00:19:30.670 --> 00:19:36.990
I could probably regurgitate the stories if you wanted me to, if I really thought about it, but honest to God, I just don't remember them as much.
00:19:37.150 --> 00:19:39.310
I actually have different memories now.
00:19:39.470 --> 00:19:42.910
And if you had kind of background, there was no good stuff.
00:19:43.070 --> 00:19:43.550
There was.
00:19:43.630 --> 00:19:46.509
There was probably a teacher that you've forgotten.
00:19:46.670 --> 00:19:49.630
There might have been a relative, there might have been your best friend.
00:19:49.790 --> 00:19:56.190
There's always something in your past as a child that had a little light in it.
00:19:56.509 --> 00:19:57.870
There's always something.
00:19:58.350 --> 00:20:01.390
And then you never have to talk about it again.
00:20:03.070 --> 00:20:05.230
The unforgivable is different.
00:20:06.269 --> 00:20:08.509
In terms of talking about it again?
00:20:09.150 --> 00:20:19.950
Forgiving the unforgivable kind of that requires some mental gymnastics, Simone le Simone Biles level gymnastics.
00:20:20.430 --> 00:20:21.550
Let me tell you about one.
00:20:21.790 --> 00:20:24.350
I had two number tens, I had a bunch, but two main ones.
00:20:24.430 --> 00:20:26.269
Let's talk about the bullying school.
00:20:26.509 --> 00:20:26.830
Right?
00:20:27.310 --> 00:20:29.550
And I was in my 50s at the time.
00:20:29.870 --> 00:20:40.030
And it's crazy for a 50-something year old woman to be sitting in her house upset about something that happened in the 1970s.
00:20:40.350 --> 00:20:41.630
I should be over this.
00:20:41.950 --> 00:20:42.990
I'm an adult.
00:20:43.230 --> 00:20:44.750
It shouldn't be chipping me up.
00:20:44.830 --> 00:20:45.790
Yet it was.
00:20:46.750 --> 00:20:50.190
So I wasn't ready to forgive the bully.
00:20:50.910 --> 00:20:52.190
So I couldn't.
00:20:52.430 --> 00:20:55.390
And I couldn't even forgive the energy around the bully.
00:20:55.550 --> 00:20:56.830
I didn't want to.
00:20:57.070 --> 00:20:59.310
So I picked apart the memory.
00:21:00.350 --> 00:21:03.790
Everything on our planet has energy, right?
00:21:03.950 --> 00:21:05.870
So I picked apart the memory.
00:21:06.190 --> 00:21:11.630
I forgave my grammar school, the building, and the energy around the building.
00:21:11.790 --> 00:21:16.830
I forgave the desk and the chair that I sat at and the energy around the desk and the chair.
00:21:17.070 --> 00:21:23.230
I forgave the playground, the kids who stood around and didn't help, and the energy around all of these people.
00:21:23.470 --> 00:21:26.990
I forgave New York City and the energy around New York City.
00:21:27.150 --> 00:21:29.070
I forgave 1974.
00:21:29.790 --> 00:21:34.670
I completely forgave 1974 and the energy around 1974.
00:21:35.150 --> 00:21:36.110
I said that.
00:21:38.110 --> 00:21:39.310
I forgave breast cancer.
00:21:39.390 --> 00:21:40.910
I have forgiven chemotherapy.
00:21:40.990 --> 00:21:45.230
I forgave the bottle of pills that I was going to take when I wanted to commit suicide.
00:21:45.470 --> 00:21:47.230
These are all forgivable things.
00:21:47.390 --> 00:21:51.150
But let me be clear, I still haven't forgiven the bully.
00:21:51.950 --> 00:21:55.310
But I've taken a lot of the energy out of that memory.
00:21:55.550 --> 00:22:01.950
So then I went back and I thought, I checked in with my body and I thought, am I ready to forgive the bully?
00:22:02.269 --> 00:22:02.590
No.
00:22:03.550 --> 00:22:12.670
But I got it down to a 9.5, and I was finally ready to forgive the energy around the bully and make a few passes.
00:22:12.910 --> 00:22:14.509
Did I mean those first passes?
00:22:14.590 --> 00:22:16.110
No, I practically spit them out.
00:22:16.190 --> 00:22:16.990
I am from New York.
00:22:17.070 --> 00:22:20.590
I live in the South now, but I practically spit them, but I said it.
00:22:21.310 --> 00:22:22.269
I kept doing it.
00:22:22.430 --> 00:22:28.509
And eventually I'm over the course of weeks and months, I was able to get that down to a forgivable two or three.
00:22:28.590 --> 00:22:30.269
And I was able to finally toss it.
00:22:30.350 --> 00:22:31.470
But it took a while.
00:22:31.710 --> 00:22:32.670
It took a while.
00:22:32.910 --> 00:22:34.110
Now, let me be clear.
00:22:34.269 --> 00:22:40.430
There are some things in this world that are totally unforgivable that are so ugly we don't even want to talk about them in a podcast.
00:22:40.670 --> 00:22:44.910
You don't have to forgive them because there's other things in the memory you can forgive.
00:22:45.150 --> 00:22:47.390
You can forgive the bed, the table, the park.
00:22:47.470 --> 00:22:49.950
You can forgive yourself for going into the car.
00:22:50.110 --> 00:22:51.470
You can forgive the car.
00:22:51.630 --> 00:22:52.990
You could forgive the alcohol.
00:22:53.150 --> 00:22:54.830
You can forgive all these things.
00:22:55.070 --> 00:22:57.630
You don't have to forgive the unforgivable person.
00:22:57.790 --> 00:23:00.430
Forgive what you can and keep going.
00:23:01.390 --> 00:23:05.950
If you never can circle back and forgive that person, I'm cool with that.
00:23:06.190 --> 00:23:08.750
Forgive what you can and keep going.
00:23:08.910 --> 00:23:10.430
It's going to open up your life.
00:23:10.590 --> 00:23:12.030
Completely open it up.
00:23:12.269 --> 00:23:14.590
And you won't have it living in your head anymore.
00:23:14.750 --> 00:23:16.030
You'll be free.
00:23:17.310 --> 00:23:20.750
I like that example of forgiving what you can.
00:23:21.070 --> 00:23:26.190
Even like you started mentioning the car, the alcohol.
00:23:26.350 --> 00:23:30.509
It doesn't have to even be the energy of this individual.
00:23:30.670 --> 00:23:33.630
Because there are some things that are unforgivable.
00:23:33.870 --> 00:23:35.470
I don't want to forgive the energy.
00:23:35.550 --> 00:23:37.870
I don't even they don't deserve my forgiveness.
00:23:37.950 --> 00:23:39.150
I don't want any part of them.
00:23:39.230 --> 00:23:40.269
But forgive yourself.
00:23:40.430 --> 00:23:45.150
Forgive the memory, forgive the stuff, forgive the city, the town, the date of the calendar.
00:23:45.310 --> 00:23:46.030
There's so many.
00:23:46.190 --> 00:23:47.950
Forgive the clothes you were wearing.
00:23:48.110 --> 00:23:52.590
There's so many other things you can forgive that's going to open you up.
00:23:52.910 --> 00:23:55.630
Now, why do you want to forgive?
00:23:55.790 --> 00:23:57.390
What's in it for me?
00:23:58.269 --> 00:23:58.590
Okay.
00:23:59.150 --> 00:24:00.990
I have two answers to that question.
00:24:01.230 --> 00:24:02.430
Because everybody likes.
00:24:02.910 --> 00:24:06.830
And I know the most people are listening to this broadcast, so I'm going to walk you through the visual.
00:24:06.910 --> 00:24:11.230
I am talking, I am holding a purple coffee cup to the side of my body.
00:24:11.870 --> 00:24:14.509
This coffee cup actually is filled with tea.
00:24:14.750 --> 00:24:20.190
This tea cup represents anger, bitterness, regret.
00:24:20.430 --> 00:24:22.030
Now look at my body language.
00:24:22.110 --> 00:24:26.750
I'm in a session with Amanda, and she's like, Catherine, you've got to talk about your anger.
00:24:26.990 --> 00:24:27.630
Anger?
00:24:28.350 --> 00:24:29.390
I can manage it.
00:24:29.470 --> 00:24:30.030
And I am.
00:24:30.190 --> 00:24:33.790
Look, I'm holding it off to the side, and my my other hand is free.
00:24:33.870 --> 00:24:36.269
I can have a perfectly decent life.
00:24:36.430 --> 00:24:39.310
But here's the thing humans irritate other humans.
00:24:39.390 --> 00:24:45.470
And if I don't take some stuff out of the cup, I'm going to keep filling it up with anger and bitterness and regret.
00:24:45.550 --> 00:24:47.230
And it's all going to start to sit there.
00:24:47.390 --> 00:24:54.590
So now I'm take now it's taking two hands to hold up the cup to the side, starting to penetrate my conversations.
00:24:54.750 --> 00:24:57.550
It's starting to get into my sleep habits.
00:24:57.630 --> 00:24:59.230
I'm not sleeping anymore.
00:24:59.390 --> 00:25:04.670
And if I keep not forgiving, now I'm holding the cup right in front of my face.
00:25:04.830 --> 00:25:06.830
I can't even see Amanda anymore.
00:25:07.070 --> 00:25:09.950
My dream relationship just walked by me.
00:25:10.110 --> 00:25:13.150
I missed it because I'm so focused on my anger.
00:25:13.310 --> 00:25:14.509
It's all I talk about.
00:25:14.670 --> 00:25:16.030
It's all I can think about.
00:25:16.190 --> 00:25:19.470
I'm spinning the stories funny, but I'm still talking about it.
00:25:19.550 --> 00:25:21.230
I'm losing friends now.
00:25:21.630 --> 00:25:26.509
The perfect way to heal my disease, I missed it.
00:25:26.830 --> 00:25:34.110
My whole bunch of money because I could have gotten a raise or the dream job, I missed it because I'm focused on the anger.
00:25:34.269 --> 00:25:40.750
So by using my system and starting with the easy ones and working your way up to the hard ones, look at my body language.
00:25:40.910 --> 00:25:42.509
It's back off to the side.
00:25:42.670 --> 00:25:46.670
I'm using two hands again to hold up the cup, but look at my body language.
00:25:46.750 --> 00:25:48.190
I can see amended now.
00:25:48.269 --> 00:25:49.870
I can start living my life.
00:25:50.110 --> 00:25:56.670
And if you keep using the method, eventually you can put your anger down and now look at my hands.
00:25:57.070 --> 00:25:59.150
Now I'm living my authentic self.
00:25:59.310 --> 00:26:03.150
The person I was born to be, I can now be.
00:26:03.630 --> 00:26:08.750
Now, if you want to become more intuitive, 10 out of 10 human beings are intuitive.
00:26:08.910 --> 00:26:09.870
I'm serious.
00:26:10.110 --> 00:26:12.830
You either see it, feel it, know it, or you sense it.
00:26:13.070 --> 00:26:18.990
And if you're angry and bitter and your self-talk is bad, that acts like a shield.
00:26:19.150 --> 00:26:24.910
And baby, you're gonna have a real hard time hearing your intuition because your anger is blocking it.
00:26:26.670 --> 00:26:28.590
There was a study done in Japan.
00:26:28.750 --> 00:26:30.509
It's called the Japanese water study.
00:26:30.670 --> 00:26:34.509
If you Google Japanese water study, I promise it'll come right the first page.
00:26:34.670 --> 00:26:35.790
And this is what he did.
00:26:35.870 --> 00:26:36.990
He studied water.
00:26:37.150 --> 00:26:40.269
And I'll just say it quick in the interest of time.
00:26:40.750 --> 00:26:42.990
He took several containers of water.
00:26:43.150 --> 00:26:46.750
One container of water, all he did was talk to it.
00:26:46.990 --> 00:26:47.870
That's it.
00:26:48.110 --> 00:26:49.630
He spoke loving words.
00:26:49.790 --> 00:26:50.430
I love you.
00:26:50.509 --> 00:26:51.390
You're beautiful.
00:26:51.470 --> 00:26:52.350
You're stunning.
00:26:52.509 --> 00:26:53.630
I'm so grateful.
00:26:53.870 --> 00:26:54.590
That's all he did.
00:26:54.670 --> 00:26:55.790
He just talked to it.
00:26:56.030 --> 00:26:59.390
The other container of water, he talked hate to.
00:26:59.630 --> 00:27:00.509
Awful things.
00:27:00.670 --> 00:27:04.750
The most horrible things you can say to somebody, he sent to that water.
00:27:05.070 --> 00:27:09.070
He then froze the water and he put the water under a microscope.
00:27:09.310 --> 00:27:14.990
The water he said love to had these beautiful crystal formations that were just gorgeous.
00:27:15.150 --> 00:27:22.430
The water he spoke hate to had these black malformations that look diseased and sick.
00:27:22.670 --> 00:27:24.030
Why am I telling you this?
00:27:24.269 --> 00:27:27.150
The human body is over 95% water.
00:27:27.390 --> 00:27:44.269
So if your self-talk is bad, you're angry, you're holding on to childhood anger, or your ex who left you, and you're filled with this anger and rage and resentment, or you're mad at yourself for something, what do you think you're doing to the water cells within your own body?
00:27:45.230 --> 00:27:46.830
It's kind of a mic draw moment.
00:27:48.750 --> 00:27:49.790
I'm just saying.
00:27:50.030 --> 00:27:53.790
That's why people say anger is toxic, it will make you sick.
00:27:53.950 --> 00:27:57.070
But somebody like me, I'm gonna look at you and say, okay, how?
00:27:57.550 --> 00:27:58.110
Why?
00:27:58.269 --> 00:27:59.950
Don't just drop that on me.
00:28:00.110 --> 00:28:01.230
Tell me how.
00:28:01.550 --> 00:28:02.590
This is the how.
00:28:03.550 --> 00:28:05.550
That's why you want to forgive.
00:28:05.790 --> 00:28:09.870
Now I have to say it's a little PSA that I have to give.
00:28:10.110 --> 00:28:12.750
Do as I say, not as I did.
00:28:13.310 --> 00:28:14.990
I am an overachiever.
00:28:15.150 --> 00:28:16.910
I am also my own guinea pig.
00:28:17.070 --> 00:28:23.150
I did this exercise and I wrote down my list, and I must have had 60 names on it.
00:28:23.230 --> 00:28:24.190
I kid you not.
00:28:24.350 --> 00:28:30.750
And I did it before I went to sleep because I want everybody to do this after dinner before they go to sleep because it's gonna make you tired.
00:28:30.990 --> 00:28:33.150
And I thought, this is gonna be great.
00:28:33.310 --> 00:28:35.950
I'm gonna be like a phoenix rising from the ashes.
00:28:36.110 --> 00:28:38.670
I'm gonna be like a butterfly coming out of the cocoon.
00:28:38.750 --> 00:28:40.190
I'm gonna do all this work tonight.
00:28:40.269 --> 00:28:42.030
I'm gonna wake up tomorrow morning.
00:28:42.110 --> 00:28:43.790
I'm gonna be a new person.
00:28:44.670 --> 00:28:45.310
Sure.
00:28:46.509 --> 00:28:48.509
Didn't work out that way exactly.
00:28:48.670 --> 00:28:51.470
I did forgive many people on the list, 100%.
00:28:52.350 --> 00:28:56.670
And I spent the next three days in bed with what everybody thought was a stomach flu.
00:28:56.910 --> 00:28:58.590
It was not the stomach flu.
00:28:58.670 --> 00:29:02.269
I forgave too many people, and my body had to play catch up.
00:29:02.509 --> 00:29:07.390
Those water cells, those dark water cells, well, they have to go somewhere, people.
00:29:07.550 --> 00:29:12.030
And your body heals itself when it's sleeping, which is why I want you to do this before bed.
00:29:12.190 --> 00:29:14.670
I never want you to do more than five or ten a night.
00:29:14.750 --> 00:29:20.990
And if you're doing a high-level person like somebody who's you rated over a seven, one a night.
00:29:21.310 --> 00:29:25.630
Because if you're like me, you might end up in the bathroom for a little bit.
00:29:25.790 --> 00:29:27.150
You didn't have a piece of bad fish.
00:29:27.230 --> 00:29:32.590
It's just your body is clearing out those toxins energetically and physically.
00:29:33.870 --> 00:29:36.830
Most people just get really tired.
00:29:36.990 --> 00:29:41.710
My older son, I've got two sons, and my older son did this in the morning and he still had to go to work.
00:29:41.950 --> 00:29:43.630
Didn't it work well for him?
00:29:43.790 --> 00:29:46.670
He was downing Red Bulls because he was tired.
00:29:46.910 --> 00:29:51.870
So yeah, you have to do this after dinner when you're going to be home for the evening.
00:29:52.590 --> 00:29:58.750
And now you mentioned if it's a really high intense person you need to forgive, only one.
00:29:59.230 --> 00:29:59.790
Only one.
00:29:59.950 --> 00:30:00.990
Think of the toxin.
00:30:01.070 --> 00:30:02.509
Let's take my father, for example.
00:30:02.670 --> 00:30:03.870
He was a 10.
00:30:04.350 --> 00:30:07.710
And it took me a long time to forgive that man.
00:30:07.870 --> 00:30:09.630
He's been dead for decades.
00:30:09.870 --> 00:30:12.910
So that you can forgive dead people, because I did.
00:30:13.150 --> 00:30:15.790
And it took me so long to forgive him.
00:30:15.950 --> 00:30:23.550
But every time I wanted to forgive him, everybody else on my list just went out of my head.
00:30:23.710 --> 00:30:29.790
And when it's a number 10, you're not going to help, but look at the name, and stories are going to come into your head.
00:30:29.870 --> 00:30:31.150
You might get a little upset.
00:30:31.310 --> 00:30:34.990
I mean, this is the unforgivable, this is not easy.
00:30:35.150 --> 00:30:37.230
So I want you to take it in baby steps.
00:30:37.310 --> 00:30:39.150
That's why you pick apart the memory.
00:30:39.310 --> 00:30:44.269
And eventually I was able to get my dad down to a forgivable level.
00:30:44.509 --> 00:30:46.269
And then somebody asked me a question.
00:30:46.430 --> 00:30:49.390
This is the first book in a series of two or three books.
00:30:49.470 --> 00:30:51.550
We're not sure how many more are coming after.
00:30:51.790 --> 00:30:54.990
The next book is going to focus on how to forgive yourself.
00:30:56.030 --> 00:30:56.670
Hello.
00:30:57.550 --> 00:31:02.190
And I got dad down, and somebody asked me the magic question.
00:31:02.430 --> 00:31:08.190
If you had one thing to do over in your life that you regret, what would that be?
00:31:09.470 --> 00:31:12.750
And I said, I would let my father walk me down the aisle.
00:31:12.910 --> 00:31:17.470
I've been married for 33 years, and I was angry at the time.
00:31:18.110 --> 00:31:25.150
And I'm not going to tell the story, but let's just suffice it to say, I was legitimately angry and nobody would have blamed me.
00:31:25.310 --> 00:31:27.390
I mean, it was awful.
00:31:28.269 --> 00:31:31.150
But it was mean, and it's not who I am.
00:31:31.310 --> 00:31:33.070
And I regretted it all my life.
00:31:33.150 --> 00:31:34.030
And he's past now.
00:31:34.190 --> 00:31:35.070
There's nothing I could do.
00:31:35.150 --> 00:31:40.269
But when I had that realization, I thought he was ugly to me.
00:31:40.509 --> 00:31:45.870
But in the heat of the moment, I was probably ugly right back to him.
00:31:46.110 --> 00:31:52.590
So once I got dad down from a 10 to a one and I forgave him, then the other memories started.
00:31:52.670 --> 00:31:55.630
And I thought, now I have to go back up the other way up the scale.
00:31:55.870 --> 00:32:02.670
So I got a second list and I wrote down all the people that I wanted to forgive me.
00:32:04.269 --> 00:32:05.630
And I rated them.
00:32:05.790 --> 00:32:09.470
I rated these experiences and you wanted to forgive you.
00:32:09.710 --> 00:32:12.430
Like my father was right at the top of the list.
00:32:12.590 --> 00:32:14.350
I want my dad to forgive me.
00:32:14.509 --> 00:32:17.950
And there were other things that I did, and other people that I hurt.
00:32:18.110 --> 00:32:18.910
We're humans.
00:32:19.070 --> 00:32:20.190
That's why they bought a race.
00:32:21.310 --> 00:32:22.110
We all went.
00:32:22.990 --> 00:32:25.870
Was it you not having him walking down the aisle?
00:32:25.950 --> 00:32:28.830
Is that what made you think who you want to forgive you?
00:32:28.990 --> 00:32:29.790
I'm just curious.
00:32:29.950 --> 00:32:30.190
Okay.
00:32:30.430 --> 00:32:31.710
It was that's what clicked.
00:32:31.790 --> 00:32:37.470
It's when I had that memory, it just occurred to me that I must have said things that hurt him.
00:32:38.110 --> 00:32:39.550
And not having him walk.
00:32:39.630 --> 00:32:42.910
I mean, yes, he probably expected it because why wouldn't he?
00:32:43.070 --> 00:32:43.870
But it hurt.
00:32:44.030 --> 00:32:46.190
And I knew it did, and I probably didn't care.
00:32:46.350 --> 00:32:48.190
It was a long time ago, by the way.
00:32:48.509 --> 00:32:53.150
So I wrote a list of all the people I thought I need to forgive me.
00:32:53.230 --> 00:32:55.150
And I flipped the language in the mantra.
00:32:55.230 --> 00:33:02.830
Instead of saying I completely forgive Amanda, I flipped it to say, Amanda completely forgives me.
00:33:04.030 --> 00:33:06.430
And remember, you're not reaching out to these people.
00:33:06.509 --> 00:33:08.990
You're not condoning what they did or what you did.
00:33:09.230 --> 00:33:10.430
You're the prisoner.
00:33:10.670 --> 00:33:13.070
You're the one that you need to be freed.
00:33:13.310 --> 00:33:18.030
And I was eventually able to get through many, many people on that list.
00:33:18.269 --> 00:33:20.990
But I don't want you to do the second list until you do the first one.
00:33:21.150 --> 00:33:22.190
Do that first one.
00:33:22.269 --> 00:33:23.390
Start with that easy.
00:33:23.470 --> 00:33:26.910
Start with the guy who delivered the groceries and the eggs were all broken.
00:33:27.070 --> 00:33:28.110
Come on now.
00:33:28.509 --> 00:33:33.150
Uber delivers or whatever that service is, all the eggs were broken from Walmart.
00:33:33.310 --> 00:33:34.590
Forgive the delivery kid.
00:33:34.670 --> 00:33:36.350
He had 20 deliveries that night.
00:33:36.430 --> 00:33:37.790
You can forgive them.
00:33:39.230 --> 00:33:43.630
Start with the easy ones and work your way up and forgive what you can and keep going.
00:33:44.910 --> 00:33:49.710
If you never get to your number 10 because you just can't, because it's something horrible.
00:33:49.870 --> 00:33:52.670
I mean, it was a murder, a rape, or something like that.
00:33:52.910 --> 00:33:54.110
That's fine.
00:33:54.430 --> 00:33:59.710
You've got people, places, and things from one to nine to forgive.
00:34:00.350 --> 00:34:01.790
You can't forgive the ten.
00:34:02.990 --> 00:34:03.630
That's fine.
00:34:03.870 --> 00:34:08.349
Forgive yourself for whatever that was and keep going.
00:34:09.949 --> 00:34:11.389
People can do this.
00:34:14.190 --> 00:34:18.750
Now it is there a step after when they switch it?
00:34:20.190 --> 00:34:22.909
Well, you're never gonna be done.
00:34:23.070 --> 00:34:25.630
People ask me, am I done?
00:34:26.190 --> 00:34:28.909
Uh humans irritate other humans.
00:34:28.989 --> 00:34:30.430
There's always people to forgive.
00:34:30.670 --> 00:34:31.869
You can forgive anything.
00:34:32.110 --> 00:34:35.710
Your Super Bowl team lost this past January.
00:34:35.950 --> 00:34:38.750
Enough time has passed, people, you can forgive them.
00:34:39.150 --> 00:34:41.630
You can forgive politicians not going there.
00:34:41.789 --> 00:34:43.869
You can forgive the war in the Middle East.
00:34:44.030 --> 00:34:45.950
What's it gonna do for the war in the Middle East?
00:34:46.110 --> 00:34:49.230
Absolutely nothing, but it's gonna do wonders for you.
00:34:49.550 --> 00:34:51.789
Everything is forgivable.
00:34:52.030 --> 00:34:54.590
You tripped over that, you oh, here's a good one.
00:34:54.670 --> 00:34:55.550
Maybe you're a parent.
00:34:55.710 --> 00:34:57.070
You stepped in a lego.
00:34:57.470 --> 00:35:05.869
If you've got kids, you step on it, it's like stepping on a jack for the baby boomers, but stepping on a lego, your foot bleeds, forgive the Lego.
00:35:06.430 --> 00:35:15.230
I had a client who was in a bad situation, she was in a bad job, and she would be crying in the shower every single solitary day right before she went to work.
00:35:15.950 --> 00:35:18.430
So I had her start easy.
00:35:18.590 --> 00:35:20.510
I said, forgive the shower.
00:35:21.389 --> 00:35:24.990
And quite frankly, that's all that she she was capable of at the time.
00:35:25.070 --> 00:35:29.869
So for a few days in a row, she forgave the shower and the water.
00:35:30.670 --> 00:35:32.990
Forgive what you can and keep going.
00:35:34.269 --> 00:35:43.150
I'm curious if you do you think this is something that people should do, like you say after dinner before you go to bed.
00:35:43.309 --> 00:35:46.190
Do you think this is like a daily thing they should be working on?
00:35:46.349 --> 00:35:48.910
Should there be like breaks in between?
00:35:48.990 --> 00:35:52.269
Like maybe they do it this night, then they don't do it the next night.
00:35:52.430 --> 00:35:56.750
I know every person is different, but like generally speaking.
00:35:57.950 --> 00:36:02.030
Some people like me are gonna want to knock out their easy ones all in one sitting.
00:36:02.190 --> 00:36:03.150
I know you're out there.
00:36:03.309 --> 00:36:05.789
There's a lot of people overachievers like me out there.
00:36:06.030 --> 00:36:08.910
I did this and still do this practice every night.
00:36:09.070 --> 00:36:17.070
And if I don't really have anybody big to forgive that night, I will sit and think about the top three things I'm grateful for that day.
00:36:17.309 --> 00:36:21.710
It could be that coffee is it exists and coffee is a thing.
00:36:21.950 --> 00:36:24.110
Maybe that's all I can be grateful for.
00:36:24.269 --> 00:36:27.070
That's what I that's what I sit and that's what I do.
00:36:27.309 --> 00:36:32.190
And then I think of the things in my past and I pull out things that happened during the day.
00:36:32.269 --> 00:36:36.829
So I will do this practice absolutely every night, almost every night.
00:36:36.990 --> 00:36:41.150
Now we've got people who do it once a week on a specific day.
00:36:41.470 --> 00:36:45.630
We have people who do it when the spirit moves them, when they remember to do it.
00:36:45.789 --> 00:36:51.950
Some people are really good for the first couple weeks and then they peter out, they start to feel better, and they just keep on going.
00:36:52.190 --> 00:36:53.070
What's all good?
00:36:53.230 --> 00:36:54.510
It's all correct.
00:36:54.750 --> 00:37:04.829
But I would suggest to try and do five to ten a night and work on the people you are labeling between a one and a five.
00:37:05.070 --> 00:37:06.829
Start with that group.
00:37:07.470 --> 00:37:10.269
And then you could work your way up into the higher numbers.
00:37:10.510 --> 00:37:12.670
Your own name might be on the list.
00:37:13.150 --> 00:37:18.670
If your own name is on the list, there's probably something pretty ugly that you need to forgive yourself for.
00:37:18.910 --> 00:37:20.030
Put that down.
00:37:20.590 --> 00:37:25.470
It could be a person, it could be a place, it could be a thing, or it could be a purchase that you shouldn't have done.
00:37:25.630 --> 00:37:27.070
It could be anything.
00:37:28.510 --> 00:37:36.190
When I did this, I really did want to forgive a girl I went to school with, and we were in high school together.
00:37:36.430 --> 00:37:38.430
Couldn't remember what happened.
00:37:38.510 --> 00:37:40.269
We were very tight at the time.
00:37:40.510 --> 00:37:42.750
And I hadn't talked to her in decades.
00:37:43.630 --> 00:37:45.470
And I genuinely mean that.
00:37:45.550 --> 00:37:47.070
So I sat in the middle of my bed.
00:37:47.150 --> 00:37:48.510
This was like 10 years ago.
00:37:48.750 --> 00:37:52.030
I sat in the middle of my bed and I did the process.
00:37:52.269 --> 00:37:59.710
Imagine that high school girl was standing in front of me, and I had nothing to say to her because I didn't, I wasn't angry.
00:37:59.869 --> 00:38:01.150
I was in my 50s.
00:38:01.389 --> 00:38:06.910
So I just sent the mancha, and my sons, who were all grown and out, they were gone.
00:38:07.230 --> 00:38:10.349
And so I just went about my day.
00:38:11.150 --> 00:38:13.550
Two hours later, this is a true story.
00:38:13.869 --> 00:38:17.389
Two hours later, she calls me up on the phone.
00:38:18.349 --> 00:38:21.869
I am a concierge trainer, customer service trainer by trade.
00:38:21.950 --> 00:38:24.110
I'm retired now, but that's what I used to do.
00:38:24.269 --> 00:38:31.630
And my concierge training kicked in virtually immediately, and I amassed my my surprise because my jaw dropped to the floor.
00:38:31.869 --> 00:38:38.349
And we said all the right things, we made all the right noises, we reminisced, we did what people do, but I couldn't stand it.
00:38:38.510 --> 00:38:41.150
And I said, I'm a curious little bear.
00:38:41.309 --> 00:38:42.510
I have to know.
00:38:42.829 --> 00:38:48.030
After all these decades, why did you choose to call me today?
00:38:48.269 --> 00:38:50.510
She said, you know, it was a damned just thing.
00:38:50.670 --> 00:38:51.630
A figurine.
00:38:51.710 --> 00:39:03.309
You picked me in school two hours ago, which was exactly when I was saying the mantra, fell off the shelf, and I saw it land on the ground, and I thought maybe I should give you a call.
00:39:04.110 --> 00:39:05.950
She was 700 miles away.
00:39:07.389 --> 00:39:14.910
So if forgiveness energy, and it's just like the law of gravity, the law of gravity is going to work whether you believe in it or not, it doesn't care.
00:39:15.070 --> 00:39:16.750
So you can also call it anything you like.
00:39:16.829 --> 00:39:19.150
You could call it the law of keeping Amanda on the planet.
00:39:19.309 --> 00:39:20.349
It doesn't care.
00:39:20.590 --> 00:39:22.430
The law of forgiveness is the same.
00:39:22.590 --> 00:39:26.030
You make one pass, you say that mantra, oh, it's working.
00:39:26.190 --> 00:39:27.389
But it's like an onion.
00:39:27.470 --> 00:39:30.750
You probably only forgave that first layer.
00:39:31.389 --> 00:39:39.150
And if the law of forgiveness has the power to move an object to the ground 700 miles away, imagine what it's going to do to your body.
00:39:39.309 --> 00:39:41.869
Imagine how much better you're going to feel.
00:39:43.070 --> 00:39:45.710
Now, people will leave your life.
00:39:45.950 --> 00:39:48.269
Sorry, I have to play devil's advocate.
00:39:48.510 --> 00:39:50.829
Like energy attracts like energy too.
00:39:51.150 --> 00:39:52.190
That's physics.
00:39:52.430 --> 00:40:01.710
So as you get lighter, as you forgive people, as you your the energy around you gets lighter, you're going to attract new people into your life.
00:40:02.990 --> 00:40:03.630
Great.
00:40:04.670 --> 00:40:09.150
But you're going to piss off the people you live with who are currently in your life, probably.
00:40:09.230 --> 00:40:10.670
You're going to have some jackrabbits.
00:40:10.829 --> 00:40:11.710
Boy, those hurt.
00:40:11.789 --> 00:40:13.070
They're good friends with you now.
00:40:13.150 --> 00:40:15.550
And you start doing this process, and boom, they're gone.
00:40:15.630 --> 00:40:16.670
You never hear from them again.
00:40:16.829 --> 00:40:17.550
I had a bunch.
00:40:17.630 --> 00:40:19.710
I had to pop them on my list and forgive them.
00:40:19.869 --> 00:40:20.510
I did.
00:40:21.389 --> 00:40:28.510
And then you're going to have the saboteurs, and they're the ones that probably knew you're from your work, kid.
00:40:28.590 --> 00:40:31.150
They like the broken you, and they don't want you to change.
00:40:31.230 --> 00:40:32.910
So they're going to try and sabotage it.
00:40:33.070 --> 00:40:34.750
A lot of them are narcissists.
00:40:34.910 --> 00:40:37.710
And Jim Rohn has a very, very famous quote.
00:40:37.869 --> 00:40:41.869
He said, You're the sum of the five people you spend the most time with.
00:40:42.190 --> 00:40:46.590
So you get to choose who you spend your time with.
00:40:46.829 --> 00:40:48.110
This is the new you.
00:40:48.269 --> 00:40:49.869
This is you 2.0.
00:40:50.030 --> 00:40:51.070
You get to choose.
00:40:51.309 --> 00:40:53.869
And now you mentioned these saboteurs.
00:40:54.670 --> 00:41:01.630
Are they usually people who actively discuss that they don't think you should be doing this?
00:41:02.990 --> 00:41:06.190
In my particular case, they just left.
00:41:06.430 --> 00:41:08.670
We were really, really tight friends.
00:41:08.910 --> 00:41:13.309
I got breast cancer, and not everybody can handle that kind of a illness.
00:41:13.389 --> 00:41:15.230
It was stage three breast cancer.
00:41:15.550 --> 00:41:17.950
And I started to forgive things.
00:41:18.110 --> 00:41:19.230
I forgave breast cancer.
00:41:19.309 --> 00:41:20.269
I forgave the chemo.
00:41:20.430 --> 00:41:21.630
I forgave the chemo drip.
00:41:21.710 --> 00:41:22.990
I forgave the chemo chair.
00:41:23.070 --> 00:41:24.110
I forgave the radiation.
00:41:24.190 --> 00:41:25.630
I forgave the 10 operations.
00:41:25.789 --> 00:41:26.590
I had a list.
00:41:26.670 --> 00:41:30.030
And I forgave all these things because it was toxic.
00:41:30.349 --> 00:41:32.590
And they left.
00:41:32.750 --> 00:41:33.710
No discussion.
00:41:33.950 --> 00:41:35.230
They just left.
00:41:35.389 --> 00:41:38.030
I've never heard from them again to this day.
00:41:38.750 --> 00:41:40.030
Don't be surprised.
00:41:40.110 --> 00:41:47.070
It could be family, it could be friends, it could be people you work with, but you're just, they're just gonna, they're not, they're literally not gonna see you anymore.
00:41:47.230 --> 00:41:49.630
It's almost like they they don't see you.
00:41:50.030 --> 00:41:54.349
And it's because, and it's to use a term, it's because you're vibrating different.
00:41:54.910 --> 00:42:02.590
And it's like you're standing in one room, they're standing in another room, and all of a sudden, sudden the door shuts between the rooms.
00:42:02.750 --> 00:42:06.349
They literally, you're literally in a different place, they can't see you.
00:42:07.470 --> 00:42:14.030
It makes a lot of sense, but it's so fascinating to me that a lot of them didn't say anything and they were just gone.
00:42:14.269 --> 00:42:19.550
I'm curious, when did you start doing this practice personally in your own life?
00:42:19.869 --> 00:42:33.950
I've been doing this practice on and off for about 30 years in one form and another, and we didn't get the actual step-by-step process really on paper and in a formal way until 2021.
00:42:35.230 --> 00:42:42.829
But I've been doing this forgiveness work just personally for over 30 years, and it has it completely changed my life.
00:42:42.990 --> 00:42:48.110
I turned it from an angry person who lived and breathed her story.
00:42:48.349 --> 00:42:52.670
And losing your story is scary because if you lose your story, who are you?
00:42:52.829 --> 00:43:00.030
I'm a survivor of alcoholic parents and alcoholism, I'm a survivor of suicide, I'm a survivor of this, that, and the next thing.
00:43:00.349 --> 00:43:03.710
If I lose that story, who am I?
00:43:04.349 --> 00:43:05.550
Very scary.
00:43:05.950 --> 00:43:11.150
But the thing about it is if once you lose the story, that's when you get to be you.
00:43:11.389 --> 00:43:13.869
That's when your authentic self comes in.
00:43:14.110 --> 00:43:17.789
And you can finally see your dream job and your dream relationship.
00:43:17.869 --> 00:43:24.349
And whether you're a teacher or whatever you're going to be, you'll finally see what your purpose is for being on the planet.
00:43:24.910 --> 00:43:28.670
Or you'll just be it peaceful because maybe you love your life.
00:43:28.829 --> 00:43:29.950
That's great too.
00:43:30.269 --> 00:43:36.670
But you'll be able to be, you'll be able to live your life from authenticity as opposed to anger.
00:43:36.990 --> 00:43:38.430
That's a long time.
00:43:39.550 --> 00:43:40.670
It is a long time.
00:43:40.829 --> 00:43:43.150
And it's also a long time to hold grudges.
00:43:43.950 --> 00:43:45.710
I'm more than a little stubborn.
00:43:45.869 --> 00:43:53.150
And when you're hurt, you just kind of whirl it around and then you stuff it in the back of your head, you move on with your life, and then something triggers you.
00:43:53.230 --> 00:43:59.869
You go into a bakery and you smell something, or you see the color purple, or whatever it is, and boom, you're right back again.
00:44:00.430 --> 00:44:02.510
This stuff is let me tell you another story.
00:44:02.590 --> 00:44:03.630
I'm just making it up.
00:44:03.789 --> 00:44:12.750
But let's say you had a perfect warning, the coffee was hot, everything worked, got into your car, and you're driving to work.
00:44:13.950 --> 00:44:15.470
You get to the stoplight.
00:44:15.950 --> 00:44:18.510
You usually turn left to go to work.
00:44:18.750 --> 00:44:20.910
But today your gut is telling you to go right.
00:44:21.789 --> 00:44:23.309
So you listen to your gut.
00:44:23.470 --> 00:44:26.430
It's that little bird on your shoulder, and you turn right.
00:44:27.309 --> 00:44:30.190
It takes you by your old gray, your old high school.
00:44:30.349 --> 00:44:34.030
You don't have to give it a second thought because you have a presentation to give at work that day.
00:44:34.110 --> 00:44:36.269
And you, it's a very important presentation.
00:44:36.430 --> 00:44:38.750
But by the time you get to work, you're grumpy.
00:44:38.829 --> 00:44:39.710
And you don't know why.
00:44:39.869 --> 00:44:41.070
You had a perfect morning.
00:44:41.150 --> 00:44:42.030
It wasn't even raining.
00:44:42.110 --> 00:44:44.430
It was a sunny day, 75 degrees.
00:44:44.590 --> 00:44:48.269
It was a perfect morning, but you're grumpy and you can't stop it.
00:44:48.430 --> 00:44:50.910
And you start cutting people's heads off.
00:44:51.070 --> 00:44:53.550
And people are looking at you saying, What's wrong with you?
00:44:53.710 --> 00:44:54.829
Did you have a bad warning?
00:44:54.910 --> 00:44:55.710
Did something happen?
00:44:55.950 --> 00:44:57.710
No, everything's fine.
00:44:58.110 --> 00:45:02.269
You bombed the presentation because your head just wasn't in it.
00:45:02.750 --> 00:45:04.349
What's going on?
00:45:04.910 --> 00:45:10.670
Your brain, in its infinite wisdom, saw the high school, and it was a trigger.
00:45:10.829 --> 00:45:13.470
And it triggered some memories that you forgot.
00:45:13.630 --> 00:45:16.269
And it was there in the back of your mind.
00:45:16.349 --> 00:45:19.470
And that movie in your head started to play.
00:45:19.950 --> 00:45:29.230
And what this system is going to do for you is next time you work the system, you forgive, you can forgive the high school building, because I did.
00:45:29.470 --> 00:45:31.710
Forgive all of the things within that memory.
00:45:31.869 --> 00:45:38.430
So the next time you turn right at that stoplight instead of left, and you drive by the high school, you won't care.
00:45:38.670 --> 00:45:40.910
That's how you know you've forgiven somebody.
00:45:41.150 --> 00:45:42.349
You won't care.
00:45:42.590 --> 00:45:45.389
I'm a serial entrepreneur, so I've had a lot of business partners.
00:45:45.470 --> 00:45:48.430
And one of them in particular, I was really mad at.
00:45:48.990 --> 00:45:50.990
Legitimate, at least, in my opinion.
00:45:52.910 --> 00:45:59.150
Every time I saw her name, boom, I mean, I would just go off and I'd be angry.
00:45:59.389 --> 00:46:03.389
And then one day I put her into my forgiveness mix, and it took me a while.
00:46:03.550 --> 00:46:09.869
She wasn't a 10, but it took me a minute, took me a good couple weeks to get that woman down and completely forgive her.
00:46:10.110 --> 00:46:10.990
I finally did.
00:46:11.230 --> 00:46:20.110
One day, I think it was her birthday, and I was on Facebook or social media, I don't know what I was doing, and I saw her name, and I didn't care.
00:46:20.670 --> 00:46:25.150
And I caught myself and I thought, wait a minute, I don't care.
00:46:25.950 --> 00:46:26.990
I don't care.
00:46:27.230 --> 00:46:28.269
I don't care good.
00:46:28.510 --> 00:46:29.550
I don't care bad.
00:46:29.789 --> 00:46:30.990
I don't care.
00:46:31.869 --> 00:46:32.829
That's freedom.
00:46:33.789 --> 00:46:35.230
That's what I'm looking for.
00:46:35.470 --> 00:46:36.910
I'm looking for neutrality.
00:46:37.150 --> 00:46:39.230
I'm looking for I don't care.
00:46:39.869 --> 00:46:41.150
That's freedom.
00:46:41.630 --> 00:46:42.829
Now you're free.
00:46:43.230 --> 00:46:45.630
Now I want to transition it, Tad.
00:46:46.269 --> 00:46:50.110
When will you diagnose with breast cancer?
00:46:50.750 --> 00:46:51.950
2012.
00:46:53.150 --> 00:46:59.150
The day before my birthday, and this is for the ladies, and men can get breast cancer too, not to scare people, but they can.
00:46:59.230 --> 00:47:03.470
But the day I always did a self-exam every day before my birthday.
00:47:03.789 --> 00:47:09.070
And usually more than once a year, but I did it this particular time and I found a lump.
00:47:10.269 --> 00:47:19.630
And in 2011, I all of a sudden heard you need to jog.
00:47:19.950 --> 00:47:21.150
You need to start running.
00:47:21.309 --> 00:47:24.590
Okay, I've been violently allergic to exercise my entire life.
00:47:24.670 --> 00:47:29.389
And if you look in the dictionary under doesn't like to exercise, my name would have been right there.
00:47:29.470 --> 00:47:32.349
And I just kind of looked up at the ceiling and go, You're crazy.
00:47:32.510 --> 00:47:33.550
I couldn't get out of my head.
00:47:33.630 --> 00:47:35.550
You need to run, you need to jog, you need to jog.
00:47:36.030 --> 00:47:46.910
So really, just to shut the voice up, I took up the couch to 5K running program, which is online and it's brilliant, and it does exactly what you what it says it does.
00:47:47.150 --> 00:47:49.070
I eventually ran a 5K.
00:47:49.550 --> 00:47:53.230
And I went from a size 14 down to an eight.
00:47:53.389 --> 00:48:00.510
I knew the weight was coming off too quick, but I just ignored it and I attributed to running for the first time in my life.
00:48:00.750 --> 00:48:06.910
And when I got down to the eight, I found a lump in that self-exam the day before my birthday.
00:48:07.070 --> 00:48:10.269
And it was stage three breast cancer, triple positive.
00:48:10.430 --> 00:48:19.710
And the surgeon said, if I hadn't taken up running exactly when I did, I would be dead because my breasts were so dense, mammograms didn't work on me.
00:48:19.789 --> 00:48:27.070
And it was in a very strange spot, and the fat would have mem would have masked it, and you and I wouldn't be talking.
00:48:27.550 --> 00:48:32.590
So when that little bird in your shoulder chirps something like that, listen to it.
00:48:32.829 --> 00:48:35.230
Don't ignore it when it chirps at you.
00:48:36.829 --> 00:48:39.230
That little bird on my shoulder saved my life three times.
00:48:39.470 --> 00:48:42.269
You know, I'm pretty good at listening to my intuition now.
00:48:44.190 --> 00:48:44.510
Yeah.
00:48:44.750 --> 00:48:48.349
Now, speaking of your intuition, I'd love if we could backtrack.
00:48:48.670 --> 00:48:55.550
You mentioned that you hit it and you didn't tap into it for a long, long time until you got married.
00:48:55.789 --> 00:48:57.470
Oh, I didn't say I didn't tap into it.
00:48:57.550 --> 00:48:58.110
I just hit it.
00:48:58.190 --> 00:48:59.470
I forgot it's hard work.
00:48:59.869 --> 00:49:06.430
I would give people, I was in the concierge industry, I taught people how to be a concierge in customer service and how to start a concierge business.
00:49:06.510 --> 00:49:08.670
And I did that for like 25, 30 years.
00:49:08.910 --> 00:49:14.030
And I would get messages for people and I would deliver them, but I would flip the language.
00:49:14.190 --> 00:49:16.750
I would look at you and say, you know, Amanda, we work for you.
00:49:16.829 --> 00:49:18.670
Have you ever thought dot dot dot?
00:49:19.070 --> 00:49:21.470
Or you know, I have a brilliant idea.
00:49:21.630 --> 00:49:23.789
Here's a crazy thought, dot, dot, dot.
00:49:24.190 --> 00:49:25.230
That kind of thing.
00:49:25.389 --> 00:49:27.309
And I would deliver the message.
00:49:27.470 --> 00:49:32.750
And when I got too close to something, which I did all the time, they'd look at me and say, How could you possibly know that?
00:49:32.829 --> 00:49:35.309
And I'd mask it by saying, Oh, it's just years of experience.
00:49:35.389 --> 00:49:36.670
I've been doing this a long time.
00:49:36.750 --> 00:49:38.110
It's just a hunch.
00:49:38.430 --> 00:49:39.309
Wasn't a hunch.
00:49:39.470 --> 00:49:40.510
I heard it.
00:49:40.829 --> 00:49:43.150
Now I'm out of the closet and telling people.
00:49:43.389 --> 00:49:50.590
But it's not easy going from corporate life to what everybody calls a woo-woo kind of thing because people think you're crazy.
00:49:50.670 --> 00:49:52.910
They're gonna fit me or for a straitjacket.
00:49:52.990 --> 00:49:54.829
I want mine in purple, please.
00:49:56.190 --> 00:49:58.670
Everybody's intuitive, it's not just me.
00:49:58.829 --> 00:50:01.869
I was just born with the volume really loud.
00:50:02.030 --> 00:50:03.869
10 out of 10 people are intuitive.
00:50:04.030 --> 00:50:04.670
Seriously.
00:50:04.829 --> 00:50:06.190
It's everybody is.
00:50:06.349 --> 00:50:08.670
Everybody just does it a little bit differently.
00:50:09.070 --> 00:50:13.150
So you would say to people, here's a crazy thought, or something like that.
00:50:13.470 --> 00:50:14.110
Yep.
00:50:14.910 --> 00:50:18.590
I still do that to this day, depending upon who I'm talking to.
00:50:18.750 --> 00:50:21.869
And you'll never hear me say psychic because that's just a personal reason.
00:50:21.950 --> 00:50:23.070
I just don't like the word.
00:50:23.230 --> 00:50:26.990
I think I kind of think it's no disrespect to anybody who calls themselves a psychic.
00:50:27.070 --> 00:50:28.349
I'm not trying to bash anybody.
00:50:28.430 --> 00:50:31.389
I just personally don't like the word because I think of car salesmen.
00:50:31.550 --> 00:50:33.789
So I'll call myself intuitive.
00:50:34.030 --> 00:50:36.910
But you know, everybody's intuitive.
00:50:37.230 --> 00:50:41.230
And I am what they call clear audience, which just means I hear words.
00:50:41.389 --> 00:50:44.269
I'm also clairvoyant, which means I see things.
00:50:44.510 --> 00:50:48.269
Now, can you see your childhood bedroom in your mind right now?
00:50:48.750 --> 00:50:48.910
Yeah.
00:50:49.950 --> 00:50:51.550
Can you see the color of the wall?
00:50:51.789 --> 00:50:52.349
Yeah.
00:50:52.590 --> 00:50:54.510
Okay, you're clairvoyant.
00:50:54.829 --> 00:50:56.030
Not trying to scare you.
00:50:56.190 --> 00:50:58.269
It's not a Stephen King kind of thing.
00:50:58.590 --> 00:51:03.070
Your ghost isn't gonna walk in and say hello to you, although they might, but I doubt it.
00:51:03.309 --> 00:51:06.750
What it means is that's how your intuition works.
00:51:06.990 --> 00:51:14.349
You see the answer, you see it in the written word, you see a video, you're talking to somebody, you see the answer.
00:51:14.590 --> 00:51:17.150
I was born clear audience, so I hear it.
00:51:17.230 --> 00:51:22.510
I hear it in music, I hear the music lines, I hear it in nature, I hear words in my head.
00:51:22.670 --> 00:51:24.269
That's where that's how I am.
00:51:24.510 --> 00:51:28.750
Some people feel it, like they'll walk into a room and it just feels off.
00:51:29.869 --> 00:51:30.190
Okay.
00:51:30.590 --> 00:51:33.470
If it feels that off, may I suggest eat?
00:51:33.950 --> 00:51:38.990
But yeah, some people are empathic and it just they feel the energy.
00:51:39.150 --> 00:51:40.750
I know somebody who's so empathic.
00:51:40.910 --> 00:51:44.030
If somebody's got a stomachache, she walks away with a stomachache.
00:51:44.269 --> 00:51:46.430
And then they're the clear knowing people.
00:51:46.590 --> 00:51:48.910
They're really hard to tell, they're intuitive.
00:51:48.990 --> 00:51:53.789
I argue with people all the time because one minute they don't know it, and the next minute they do.
00:51:54.190 --> 00:52:04.190
And they think they're the ones who came up with the idea, and nine out of 10 times it was divinely guided, but they don't believe you because they just, it's just in their head, they just know it.
00:52:04.269 --> 00:52:08.110
And they're called clear cognizant, I believe.
00:52:09.150 --> 00:52:11.309
Everybody does one of those four methods.
00:52:11.389 --> 00:52:18.110
There's actually 12 to 15 methods out there, but I usually only talk about the the first four or five.
00:52:18.269 --> 00:52:20.750
And and I'd have a book about it, because of course I do.
00:52:20.990 --> 00:52:22.269
The little bird in your shoulder.
00:52:22.430 --> 00:52:25.550
That's a cute little very short 90-page book.
00:52:26.030 --> 00:52:31.789
Is there a way that people can tell what which of them they are?
00:52:32.269 --> 00:52:33.230
Everybody knows.
00:52:33.470 --> 00:52:36.349
You identified with one of the ways I just talked about.
00:52:36.590 --> 00:52:46.030
If you start listening, and I'm not the only one that has had their lives saved, there are millions and millions of examples of people whose lives are saved.
00:52:46.269 --> 00:52:49.470
Animals don't let their brains get in the way.
00:52:49.630 --> 00:52:54.269
Years ago, there was a horrible tsunami that hit, I want to say Thailand.
00:52:54.590 --> 00:52:55.789
Pretty sure it was Thailand.
00:52:55.869 --> 00:52:57.470
It was a very long time ago.
00:52:57.710 --> 00:52:58.829
And this is a true story.
00:52:58.990 --> 00:53:05.950
The elephants started to act really strange, and they started to try and move the handlers up into high ground.
00:53:06.030 --> 00:53:10.590
And the handlers were not having any of them, trying to beat the elephants, saying, No, no, no, go back into your pen.
00:53:10.750 --> 00:53:11.950
The elephants weren't listening.
00:53:12.110 --> 00:53:17.150
And they moved the entire handlers up to high ground and saved everybody's life.
00:53:18.269 --> 00:53:23.710
Animals have this animal intuition, and if they feel something like that, boom, they're gonna act on it.
00:53:23.869 --> 00:53:27.070
Humans are stupid because we'll talk ourselves out of it.
00:53:27.150 --> 00:53:30.269
What do you mean you want me to go right instead of left at the stoplight?
00:53:30.349 --> 00:53:31.950
I got a presentation today.
00:53:32.190 --> 00:53:36.910
Well, maybe by going right, you're gonna avoid a car accident or something.
00:53:37.070 --> 00:53:41.070
You'll never know why you had to turn right until you can't.
00:53:41.150 --> 00:53:44.510
I was walking my dog, my late dog Maggie, she died a couple years ago.
00:53:44.670 --> 00:53:46.590
But this was about five years ago or so.
00:53:46.670 --> 00:53:51.470
And I walked her thousands of times and we got to the intersection.
00:53:51.630 --> 00:53:58.349
I looked both ways, and all of a sudden I hear the words, she's not gonna stop loud, like something standing next to me.
00:53:58.430 --> 00:54:07.950
And me being me, I pulled Maggie right to my side and I stopped in a dime, and some young lady ran the red and would have killed us both if I hadn't stopped when I did.
00:54:08.670 --> 00:54:10.910
I'm not the only one this happens to.
00:54:11.230 --> 00:54:19.230
There was a story done in Miami, and it was a couple years ago, and half the building just went down, and a lot of people died.
00:54:19.630 --> 00:54:27.470
One woman the night before had this strange urge to put her medicine in her handbag.
00:54:27.630 --> 00:54:29.230
She'd never done that before.
00:54:29.470 --> 00:54:37.550
And when she woke up that morning, right before the building collapsed, she heard very clearly, run for your life.
00:54:37.789 --> 00:54:47.389
And instead of running the way she always ran, she ran the opposite direction, went to the stairwell, made it downstairs, and was one of the few people that survived that disaster.
00:54:47.630 --> 00:54:48.829
What are these people hearing?
00:54:48.910 --> 00:54:49.869
Are they hearing angels?
00:54:49.950 --> 00:54:50.750
They're higher selves.
00:54:50.829 --> 00:54:51.710
What are they hearing?
00:54:51.950 --> 00:54:52.670
It doesn't matter.
00:54:52.829 --> 00:54:54.990
They're hearing that little bird in their shoulder.
00:54:55.230 --> 00:54:58.829
And every 10 out of 10 people can hear the little bird in your shoulder.
00:54:58.910 --> 00:55:02.269
It's just a matter of learning what your listening style is.
00:55:02.430 --> 00:55:04.590
You see it, hear it, feel it, or know it.
00:55:04.910 --> 00:55:06.190
Or smell it.
00:55:07.309 --> 00:55:08.510
A lot of people smell it.
00:55:08.590 --> 00:55:09.789
That's a weird one.
00:55:10.510 --> 00:55:14.110
Now you said that people will know which of these it is for them.
00:55:14.510 --> 00:55:16.430
You'll be pulled to one of them.
00:55:16.670 --> 00:55:21.070
If you're a clear audience and you hear things in your head, it's like me.
00:55:21.230 --> 00:55:26.750
It sounds just like my own voice in my own mind, but I know it's not me answering me.
00:55:26.910 --> 00:55:30.190
I know it's not because I've been hearing it since I was a kid.
00:55:30.510 --> 00:55:33.789
And I used to have conversations with myself in my head.
00:55:33.950 --> 00:55:38.750
And imagine my surprise when I found out I was the only one who was doing that.
00:55:39.070 --> 00:55:41.150
Which is when I learned to shut up.
00:55:41.470 --> 00:55:47.869
Because I quickly figured out that if you hear voices in your head, they're going to give you medicine and put you in a straitjacket.
00:55:47.950 --> 00:55:52.990
So I clammed up and I didn't tell anybody for 40 years because I didn't want to be put in a straitjacket.
00:55:53.070 --> 00:55:56.829
But I knew that I just thought it was my friend or me talking to me.
00:55:56.910 --> 00:55:57.630
I didn't know what it was.
00:55:57.710 --> 00:55:58.910
I was a kid.
00:55:59.630 --> 00:56:04.670
But if you're and if you're empathic, you already know you're empathic because you can feel the energy.
00:56:04.750 --> 00:56:07.230
I mean, you'll shake somebody's hand and it feels off.
00:56:07.869 --> 00:56:09.389
Don't ignore it.
00:56:10.110 --> 00:56:12.590
Humans are good at ignoring things.
00:56:13.389 --> 00:56:17.150
Now, can people be multiple of these?
00:56:17.470 --> 00:56:18.590
I am empathic.
00:56:18.750 --> 00:56:23.230
I can see it, I can hear it, I can feel it, and sometimes I know it.
00:56:23.389 --> 00:56:29.070
I was born with the gift of hearing, and over the years I've developed the other senses.
00:56:29.710 --> 00:56:32.510
So now it's very strange, but I do kind of all four of them.
00:56:32.590 --> 00:56:36.590
I do all of them all at once, especially when I'm talking about somebody's past life.
00:56:36.670 --> 00:56:38.910
Yeah, we're going down a rabbit hole now.
00:56:39.950 --> 00:56:41.789
Serious rabbit hole.
00:56:43.150 --> 00:56:45.789
I'm happy to talk about it, but this is a rabbit hole.
00:56:46.110 --> 00:56:47.710
I was just curious.
00:56:48.030 --> 00:56:49.789
It's just so fascinating to me.
00:56:49.950 --> 00:56:56.349
And sometimes when I'm talking about somebody's past life, I mean, we're down the rabbit hole, might as well go all the way, right?
00:56:56.590 --> 00:57:07.550
The angels will show me the past life that's chipping you up the most, and then we'll discuss whatever that lifetime is, and then I'll lead you through a forgiveness exercise so you can clear it.
00:57:07.710 --> 00:57:08.829
Let me give you an example.
00:57:09.150 --> 00:57:13.710
A client of mine was a federal law enforcement officer in Washington, D.C.
00:57:13.869 --> 00:57:17.789
And he called me up because he wasn't dating and he wasn't sleeping.
00:57:17.950 --> 00:57:18.750
He tried everything.
00:57:18.910 --> 00:57:22.430
He tried hypnosis, he tried food, he went to the doctor.
00:57:22.670 --> 00:57:23.950
Nothing was working.
00:57:24.030 --> 00:57:26.430
And he said, I'll do anything you tell me.
00:57:26.990 --> 00:57:35.389
So all of a sudden, I got this vision of a guy sleeping with his wife, and he was the sheriff of the town, and he was beloved in the town.
00:57:35.550 --> 00:57:41.470
And I watched as his wife smothered him with a pillow and killed him in his sleep.
00:57:42.590 --> 00:57:47.470
Once, and then once I revealed this life to him, we forgave everybody.
00:57:47.550 --> 00:57:52.030
He forgave the wife, he forgave himself, he forgave the pillow, the bed, you know, the whole thing.
00:57:52.110 --> 00:57:53.869
Then we forgave the life.
00:57:54.190 --> 00:58:00.829
And he I followed up with him a bunch of weeks later, and he was sleeping through the night and dating again.
00:58:01.070 --> 00:58:05.309
Because if my wife had killed me with the pillow, I wouldn't really want to date myself.
00:58:05.389 --> 00:58:06.110
I mean, would you?
00:58:06.269 --> 00:58:10.349
If you've got a fear of heights, you were probably pushed off a cliff, or that's probably how you died.
00:58:10.430 --> 00:58:16.670
If you have a fear of knives, you have a fear, an unnatural fear of something, it might be rooted in a past life.
00:58:16.990 --> 00:58:19.630
Because we carry this energy from life to life.
00:58:19.869 --> 00:58:27.710
When you get angry and something traumatic happens to you, you think it leaves your mouth because you're screaming or whatever you're doing, and it dissipates in the universe.
00:58:27.950 --> 00:58:30.030
Okay, most people don't even think about it.
00:58:30.190 --> 00:58:30.829
It doesn't.
00:58:30.910 --> 00:58:32.590
It hangs around your energy field.
00:58:32.670 --> 00:58:37.389
And I'm not crazy, it travels with you from life to life until you clear it.
00:58:39.309 --> 00:58:44.349
So when people are ready to lose their stuff, usually they find me.
00:58:45.950 --> 00:58:47.710
That's usually how it plays out.
00:58:48.430 --> 00:58:53.389
So if you're ready to lose your stuff, go to my website and give me a cough.
00:58:55.150 --> 00:58:59.630
You mentioned you are writing a book on how to forgive yourself.
00:58:59.950 --> 00:59:02.030
I am with one of my besties.
00:59:02.110 --> 00:59:06.750
She's my co-author, and we're writing a book that's going to talk about how to forgive yourself.
00:59:06.829 --> 00:59:08.510
And I've already walked you through that.
00:59:08.750 --> 00:59:14.990
We're going to dive even deeper into the unforgivable, and there's a chapter in there on how to forgive money.
00:59:15.309 --> 00:59:15.950
Hello.
00:59:17.550 --> 00:59:20.190
A lot of people have an awful relationship with money.
00:59:20.269 --> 00:59:21.470
It slips through their fingers.
00:59:21.550 --> 00:59:23.070
Is this rooted in a past life?
00:59:23.230 --> 00:59:23.550
Maybe.
00:59:23.710 --> 00:59:28.670
But it could be also that maybe you want to start with forgiving money and the energy around it.
00:59:29.309 --> 00:59:30.349
Couldn't hurt.
00:59:30.510 --> 00:59:31.230
I like that.
00:59:31.630 --> 00:59:33.630
Can I give you the lottery numbers?
00:59:33.869 --> 00:59:36.030
No, it does not work that way.
00:59:36.110 --> 00:59:39.389
And every intuitive I've ever talked to in my life, we've all tried.
00:59:39.550 --> 00:59:40.030
Trust me.
00:59:40.110 --> 00:59:40.990
We've all tried.
00:59:41.150 --> 00:59:42.110
Every single one of us.
00:59:42.190 --> 00:59:46.190
I haven't met one intuitive who hasn't at one point tried to get the lottery numbers.
00:59:46.349 --> 00:59:49.070
I wish we could, but it doesn't work that way.
00:59:49.550 --> 00:59:50.910
Oh my gosh.
00:59:51.389 --> 00:59:57.710
October 20th, I'm putting out a forgiveness class based on the first book.
00:59:57.950 --> 01:00:00.349
And it's going to come right to your inbox.
01:00:00.430 --> 01:00:04.910
So you'll get emails from me every couple days for 30 days.
01:00:05.230 --> 01:00:10.990
And it's going to go through the entire system and help you go through it piece by piece.
01:00:11.230 --> 01:00:14.190
And that should be available October 20th.
01:00:14.510 --> 01:00:15.150
Oh, okay.
01:00:15.309 --> 01:00:16.829
And now this isn't a live class.
01:00:17.230 --> 01:00:18.750
No, it's via email.
01:00:19.070 --> 01:00:23.710
So in each email, you're going to get a video from me talking about whatever I'm talking about.
01:00:23.869 --> 01:00:26.670
You're also because there's everybody has a different learning style.
01:00:26.829 --> 01:00:32.110
So I will give you the audiobook, one or two chapters of the in the audiobook.
01:00:32.269 --> 01:00:36.269
I'll also give you a chapter that you can read in a PDF.
01:00:36.430 --> 01:00:47.150
So some people like to hear the information, some people like to see it, and some people want to read it, you know, so you'll be able to use whatever learning style you like.
01:00:47.710 --> 01:00:50.190
And you'll get emails every couple days.
01:00:50.510 --> 01:00:55.150
I think it's better to let the class come to you than you have to go to a platform and take the class.
01:00:55.309 --> 01:01:00.030
I just think if it comes into your email, for me personally, I just think it's easier.
01:01:00.750 --> 01:01:05.309
And now, do I suggest you save all the emails and do it all in one weekend?
01:01:05.470 --> 01:01:06.670
You could if you wanted to.
01:01:06.750 --> 01:01:09.150
I wouldn't suggest it, but you could.
01:01:09.470 --> 01:01:19.630
But I probably wouldn't do more than two lessons in a row, just because the information, it's I'm I want you to slowly work your way into this.
01:01:19.869 --> 01:01:22.990
And we, you know, we're gonna work our way up to the unforgivable.
01:01:23.150 --> 01:01:26.670
By the end of the 30 days, will you be able to forgive your unforgivable?
01:01:26.829 --> 01:01:32.910
Not completely, but I'm pretty sure you'll be able to start taking stabs at it, making a few passes.
01:01:33.230 --> 01:01:36.990
As I said, not everybody can forgive their unforgivable person, and maybe you should.
01:01:37.550 --> 01:01:38.430
And that's fine.
01:01:38.510 --> 01:01:40.510
You forgive what you can and keep going.
01:01:41.470 --> 01:01:46.190
And now I think it's possible, but I'm just playing devil's advocate.
01:01:46.269 --> 01:01:55.710
I feel like you probably had it people say to you that you should be able to forgive everybody because how can you move past it if you don't forgive them?
01:01:55.950 --> 01:02:05.550
Oh, yeah, and especially if it's family, family messes you up big time, and you might have a sibling or a parent who says, I don't know why you're mad at them.
01:02:05.789 --> 01:02:07.630
That I mean, that was nothing.
01:02:07.789 --> 01:02:08.670
Why are you mad?
01:02:08.750 --> 01:02:09.550
You're crazy.
01:02:09.710 --> 01:02:10.030
Why?
01:02:10.190 --> 01:02:14.430
I mean, I was there, it was funny, you're crazy.
01:02:14.990 --> 01:02:17.070
Okay, we can unpack that.
01:02:17.230 --> 01:02:21.550
With all due respect to your sibling or a relative, whoever said that to you.
01:02:21.789 --> 01:02:23.309
I don't care about them.
01:02:23.550 --> 01:02:24.590
I really don't.
01:02:24.750 --> 01:02:26.990
I wish them well, but I care about you.
01:02:27.150 --> 01:02:32.269
If it was real to you, it's real to me, and it's in your head, it could be forgiven.
01:02:32.590 --> 01:02:34.829
Ignore what your family is telling you.
01:02:34.990 --> 01:02:37.470
Forgiveness is selfish, it's personal.
01:02:37.630 --> 01:02:40.349
You do it for you in the privacy of your own home.
01:02:40.430 --> 01:02:42.269
You don't have to tell a soul you're doing it.
01:02:42.430 --> 01:02:47.389
And if you've got a narcissistic family like that, you probably don't want to tell them you're doing it.
01:02:47.950 --> 01:02:49.950
I might keep it to myself.
01:02:51.309 --> 01:02:53.070
If that's the kind of family you have.
01:02:53.230 --> 01:02:59.950
I know a couple people that have that kind of a family, and I have suggested I would keep this, I would be quiet.
01:03:00.910 --> 01:03:07.070
Until you're further enough along and you've forgiven enough of them that you don't care anymore, then you can tell them.
01:03:07.309 --> 01:03:10.430
They're gonna notice anyways, because you're not gonna be as nasty.
01:03:10.510 --> 01:03:19.550
You're not gonna let, you know, when Aunt Martha starts spitting out at you at Thanksgiving dinner and she starts saying that and pushing your buttons, you're probably gonna laugh and you won't care.
01:03:19.789 --> 01:03:25.630
And your family's gonna notice that you're not caring and they're gonna want to know what you're doing because you're not drunk.
01:03:25.789 --> 01:03:28.110
That means you literally don't care.
01:03:28.510 --> 01:03:29.950
You can tell them or not.
01:03:30.190 --> 01:03:36.430
I have a client who whose mother was really nasty, and I she said she needs to read your book.
01:03:36.590 --> 01:03:37.389
I said, Okay.
01:03:37.869 --> 01:03:39.950
And she said, but she won't read your book.
01:03:40.190 --> 01:03:40.990
I said, Okay.
01:03:41.309 --> 01:03:42.910
She said, Here's what I'm gonna do.
01:03:42.990 --> 01:03:46.430
I'm gonna give her my copy and I'm gonna put it on her coffee table.
01:03:47.070 --> 01:03:48.110
She'll read it.
01:03:48.349 --> 01:03:49.309
She never read it.
01:03:49.470 --> 01:03:50.990
And I said, Well, did she ever read it?
01:03:51.150 --> 01:03:58.590
She said no, but every time I go over to her house, I see your book on the table, and it kind of gives me some some courage to walk into the house.
01:03:58.829 --> 01:03:59.150
Okay.
01:04:03.710 --> 01:04:07.470
Wow, this makes a lot of sense, and it seems like it would really work.
01:04:07.789 --> 01:04:09.950
I'm gonna have to give this a shot.
01:04:10.269 --> 01:04:11.389
It's life-changing.
01:04:11.550 --> 01:04:12.269
This will change your life.
01:04:12.349 --> 01:04:20.990
And as I said, even if you only forgive the people you've raided between one and five, just that will completely free up your brain.
01:04:21.230 --> 01:04:24.750
Because these people are all living in your head, rent-free.
01:04:25.150 --> 01:04:33.550
Buddha had a wonderful quote, and he said, Anger is like drinking poison and hoping the other person dies.
01:04:34.990 --> 01:04:36.269
And that's what's going on.
01:04:36.430 --> 01:04:38.269
You're keeping them in your head.
01:04:38.430 --> 01:04:40.829
I really think it's time for you to evict these people.
01:04:41.070 --> 01:04:42.349
Forgiveness is selfish.
01:04:42.430 --> 01:04:43.389
You're not doing it for them.
01:04:43.550 --> 01:04:44.590
They don't deserve it.
01:04:44.750 --> 01:04:45.630
They don't even care.
01:04:45.869 --> 01:04:46.670
You and I are women.
01:04:46.829 --> 01:04:49.869
If we have an ex, we want them to be as miserable as us.
01:04:50.110 --> 01:04:55.309
But we're the ones sitting in the kitchen eating a pint of Ben and Jerry's ice cream and crying our eyes out.
01:04:55.470 --> 01:04:56.590
They don't care.
01:04:57.070 --> 01:04:58.110
You forgive for you.
01:04:58.269 --> 01:04:59.389
You never forgive for them.
01:04:59.550 --> 01:05:01.869
It's never for them, it's always for you.
01:05:03.070 --> 01:05:05.150
Wow, Kevin, thank you so much.
01:05:05.309 --> 01:05:06.750
I really enjoyed this.
01:05:06.990 --> 01:05:08.430
Oh, my pleasure.
01:05:08.670 --> 01:05:13.230
And for the women out there, you're worthy to live a life of love and joy.
01:05:13.389 --> 01:05:15.710
You're worthy to be your best self.
01:05:15.869 --> 01:05:18.110
Don't let anybody else tell you otherwise.
01:05:18.269 --> 01:05:19.470
You are worthy.
01:05:19.710 --> 01:05:23.070
The fact that you're here on the planet means you're worthy.
01:05:23.150 --> 01:05:27.710
You've got a spark of light and love inside of you, and the world needs to see it.
01:05:27.869 --> 01:05:32.430
So start forgiving so we can get people to see that spark.
01:05:32.670 --> 01:05:33.630
You're worthy.
01:05:33.789 --> 01:05:35.470
It's your birthright.
01:05:36.190 --> 01:05:37.309
That is so true.
01:05:37.630 --> 01:05:40.269
Have you heard of a man named Jay Shetty?
01:05:41.150 --> 01:05:41.789
I have.
01:05:42.190 --> 01:05:43.230
I like Jay Shetty.
01:05:43.389 --> 01:05:44.750
I've seen a lot of this stuff.
01:05:45.070 --> 01:05:49.710
I'm a big fan, and if you've seen a lot of this stuff, then you might know these.
01:05:49.950 --> 01:05:55.070
But he's got a podcast called On Purpose, and he ends there with two segments.
01:05:55.309 --> 01:06:01.470
And I've started incorporating those two segments into my podcast because I think they're very unique.
01:06:02.030 --> 01:06:04.990
So the first segment is the many sides to us.
01:06:05.150 --> 01:06:09.389
There's five questions, and they need to be answered in one word each.
01:06:09.710 --> 01:06:15.550
What is one word someone who was meeting you for the first time would use to describe you as?
01:06:16.750 --> 01:06:18.829
Friendly and loving, probably.
01:06:20.110 --> 01:06:20.910
That's two words.
01:06:21.630 --> 01:06:22.590
Okay, friendly.
01:06:22.670 --> 01:06:23.470
Let's just go with that.
01:06:23.710 --> 01:06:26.269
I almost said funny, but let's say friendly.
01:06:27.789 --> 01:06:34.829
What is one word someone that knows you extremely well would use to describe you as loving?
01:06:36.430 --> 01:06:39.789
What is one word you'd use to describe yourself?
01:06:41.150 --> 01:06:41.950
Stubborn?
01:06:43.789 --> 01:06:52.430
What is one word that if someone didn't like you or agree with your mindset would use to describe you as crazy?
01:06:54.269 --> 01:06:57.789
What is one word you're trying to embody right now?
01:06:59.309 --> 01:07:00.110
Joy.
01:07:01.869 --> 01:07:06.269
Second segment is the final five, and these can be answered in a sentence.
01:07:06.910 --> 01:07:10.510
What is the best advice you've heard or received?
01:07:11.389 --> 01:07:14.590
You are the sum of the five people you spend the most time with.
01:07:14.910 --> 01:07:16.349
Changed my life when I read it.
01:07:16.510 --> 01:07:17.789
Why was that the best?
01:07:18.510 --> 01:07:29.869
Because I was running with people that were not healthy for me, and when I saw it, I it just hit my head hard, and I changed my life on a dime.
01:07:32.430 --> 01:07:35.789
What is the worst advice you've heard or received?
01:07:37.150 --> 01:07:40.190
Oh, don't worry, you're just gonna get married and have kids.
01:07:40.269 --> 01:07:41.630
You don't need to go to college.
01:07:41.789 --> 01:07:43.470
Yeah, you're a woman.
01:07:45.070 --> 01:07:47.230
It was the 1970s, people.
01:07:47.309 --> 01:07:50.670
You know, I was born before the turn of the century, so yeah.
01:07:51.070 --> 01:07:52.670
Makes me sound so old.
01:07:53.070 --> 01:07:54.990
I I get why that was the worst.
01:07:55.150 --> 01:08:00.430
I and I say well because a lot of times I'm like, so why was that the worst?
01:08:00.590 --> 01:08:02.030
I don't have to ask that.
01:08:02.269 --> 01:08:12.190
It was also the best because all my life, if you tell me I can't do something, I didn't want to before, but now I'm gonna do it just despite you.
01:08:12.349 --> 01:08:14.349
Just because I know it's gonna make you squirm.
01:08:14.590 --> 01:08:15.550
Now I'm gonna do it.
01:08:15.710 --> 01:08:18.510
And that has worked for me for many, many years.
01:08:18.829 --> 01:08:26.029
Until I had my two sons and my older son figured out they had that bug in my head and he used it once to get out of trouble.
01:08:26.349 --> 01:08:27.069
Really bad.
01:08:27.470 --> 01:08:28.590
Smart kid.
01:08:29.949 --> 01:08:31.309
Oh my gosh.
01:08:31.789 --> 01:08:36.189
What is something that you used to value that you no longer value?
01:08:37.710 --> 01:08:38.670
Alcohol.
01:08:40.750 --> 01:08:42.429
Been sober a long time.
01:08:43.389 --> 01:08:50.589
If you could describe what you would want your legacy to be as if someone was reading it, what would you want it to say?
01:08:51.389 --> 01:08:54.429
She was one of the kindest people you would ever meet.
01:08:54.670 --> 01:08:57.629
I can't think of any epitaph better than that.
01:08:58.269 --> 01:09:04.269
If you could create one law in the world that everyone had to follow, what would it be?
01:09:04.509 --> 01:09:06.349
And I want to know why.
01:09:07.549 --> 01:09:09.869
I think that's a hard one.
01:09:10.029 --> 01:09:12.189
I can think of I can think of a lot.
01:09:12.509 --> 01:09:18.109
But I really think that I would want people to treat everybody equally.
01:09:19.309 --> 01:09:20.189
I really do.
01:09:20.429 --> 01:09:25.549
Every race, creed, color, I think equality would be my big one.
01:09:25.789 --> 01:09:28.349
I want everybody to be treated the same.
01:09:29.469 --> 01:09:31.549
Why would that be the one law?
01:09:32.829 --> 01:09:35.229
It's just kind of been my thing for most of my life.
01:09:35.389 --> 01:09:38.989
I get very irritated when I get irritated by stuff like that.
01:09:39.229 --> 01:09:42.429
So that would probably be one of the first laws I would put in.
01:09:42.589 --> 01:09:49.949
Now, very hard for humans to do because because you're human, and humans aren't very good at that sort of thing, but I think that's what I would want.
01:09:50.909 --> 01:09:53.549
I didn't say I would know how to implement it.
01:09:53.629 --> 01:09:56.670
I'm just saying that's what you don't have to know how to implement that.
01:09:56.829 --> 01:09:57.549
That's not part of it.
01:10:01.949 --> 01:10:03.469
I completely get that.
01:10:03.710 --> 01:10:05.710
Well, thank you so much, Kevin.
01:10:05.869 --> 01:10:07.309
I really enjoyed this.
01:10:07.549 --> 01:10:08.349
I did too.
01:10:08.509 --> 01:10:09.389
It's been a pleasure.
01:10:09.549 --> 01:10:10.909
Thanks so much for having me.
01:10:11.229 --> 01:10:12.429
Yeah, of course.
01:10:12.589 --> 01:10:16.509
And now, where's the best place for listeners to connect with you?
01:10:17.389 --> 01:10:21.549
You can go to my website, and my first name, thanks to my mother, is spelled a little odd.
01:10:21.789 --> 01:10:22.269
Thanks, mom.
01:10:22.509 --> 01:10:26.509
And it's k-a-t-h-r-in-e Giovanni.com.
01:10:26.589 --> 01:10:29.309
And my all my books are available on Amazon.
01:10:29.549 --> 01:10:32.670
But my website has podcasts and it has everything on it.
01:10:32.829 --> 01:10:35.389
Just go there and all roads lead to Rome.
01:10:36.109 --> 01:10:37.869
I will link that in the show notes.
01:10:37.949 --> 01:10:42.029
And are you active on any social media if anybody wants to connect there?
01:10:42.269 --> 01:10:48.429
I am on TikTok, Substack, Instagram, YouTube, Facebook.
01:10:49.710 --> 01:10:50.829
It's on my website.
01:10:50.909 --> 01:10:52.589
I'm active in like 10 of them.
01:10:52.670 --> 01:10:57.229
But Instagram, Facebook, YouTube, and TikTok seem to be the big ones.
01:10:57.309 --> 01:10:59.149
And I recently joined Substack.
01:11:00.269 --> 01:11:01.149
Sounds good.
01:11:01.389 --> 01:11:03.789
And I do just like to give it back to the guest.
01:11:04.269 --> 01:11:09.469
Any final words of wisdom, anything else you want to share with the listeners?
01:11:09.629 --> 01:11:12.509
No pressure, but I like to give it back to you.
01:11:12.750 --> 01:11:14.189
Just to know that you got this.
01:11:14.349 --> 01:11:15.549
Forgiveness is tough.
01:11:15.789 --> 01:11:16.750
It really is tough.
01:11:16.909 --> 01:11:19.149
There's people you don't want to forgive, and I get that.
01:11:19.309 --> 01:11:20.349
And you don't know how.
01:11:20.509 --> 01:11:23.229
This system will teach you how to forgive.
01:11:23.389 --> 01:11:27.389
And as I said, and I know I've said it a bunch of times, I'm going to say it one last time.
01:11:27.549 --> 01:11:31.869
If there's somebody you can't forgive, that's fine.
01:11:32.429 --> 01:11:34.829
Walk around the wall and keep going.
01:11:34.989 --> 01:11:36.670
Circle back if you if you can.
01:11:36.750 --> 01:11:39.469
And if you can't circle back, that's fine.
01:11:39.629 --> 01:11:40.750
Just keep going.
01:11:42.109 --> 01:11:42.909
I love that.
01:11:43.069 --> 01:11:43.789
Just keep going.
01:11:44.269 --> 01:11:48.909
Thank you so much for tuning in to another episode of Mandate Mind Plat.
01:11:53.949 --> 01:11:57.629
In case no one told you today, I'm proud of you.
01:11:57.869 --> 01:11:59.469
I'm voting for you.
01:11:59.710 --> 01:12:00.989
And you got this.
01:12:02.109 --> 01:12:13.710
As always, if you enjoyed the show, I would really appreciate it if you would leave me a five-star rating, leave a review, and share with anyone you think would benefit from that.
01:12:14.189 --> 01:12:20.509
And don't forget, you are only one nine-set shift away from shifting your life.
01:12:20.829 --> 01:12:23.309
Thanks guys, until next time.