Happiness Is Learnable: Todd Patkin's 12 Steps to a Happier Life | 204

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Welcome to the Manders and Mindset Podcast.
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Here you'll find both monologues and interviews of entrepreneurs, coaches, healers, and a variety of other people.
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Where your host, Amanda Roosevelt, will discuss her own mindset and perspective, and her dad's mindset and perspective on the world around us.
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Manders and her tests will help explain to you how shifting your mindset will shift your life.
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Welcome to Amanda's Monset, where we explore the power of shifting your mindset to shift your life.
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I'm your host, Amanda Muse, and I am here today with Todd Patkin.
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He is an author, a keynote speaker, and a happiness coach.
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Thank you so much for joining me, Todd.
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Amanda, I'm thrilled to be with you.
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So who would you say Todd is at the core?
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Well, I've always been a really sensitive person, a very loving person.
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A lot of times that gets me in trouble.
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It can be, we know that your greatest asset is also your greatest flaw.
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So I believe in people.
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And because I believe so much, sometimes I've been taken advantage of and hurt.
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But I just say the number one word, I'd say two words is I'd say honest and loving.
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And you say you've always been honest and loving?
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Yes.
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Can you take us down memory lane a little bit?
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Tell me about your upbringing, childhood, family dynamic.
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Yeah, I was born in just south of Boston and Needham, Massachusetts.
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I am a middle child, which I'm very proud of.
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And I was I'm a Gemini, so I always say middle child and Gemini TNT, baby.
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Meaning it's just, I love being both of those things because a Gemini, I think, makes you very sensitive.
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And a middle child does as well.
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So I grew up, I had an older brother, a younger sister in need of.
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And I was quite good at sports.
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I was kind of on the outside of the in-crowd, you know, the popular crowd, but I was kind of on the outside of them, and I'd get frustrated a lot when there'd be parties that I wasn't invited to.
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Amanda, I was bullied a lot in school and picked on, and that really affected me.
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And I think it started me on the course of wanting to be a perfectionist because I wanted to prove to the bullies that I could get better grades than them.
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And so I felt the need to get straight A's in in high school, and that was very stressful for me.
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I also had trouble with homesickness.
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I went to an overnight camp a little younger than I probably should, and I had to come home.
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And all of this followed me to Tufts University.
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And people say in Massachusetts, if you can't get into Harvard, you go to Tufts.
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So Tufts was a very difficult school to get straight A's, but I managed to do it, but I made myself crazy doing it.
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I was homesick.
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I was still bullied there.
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I guess I was a target all, you know, my entire life.
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The one thing that saved me is my dad could tell that I was having a really difficult time.
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And he said, why don't the two of us join a gym?
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And in my 12-week program, the first thing I say is, exercise is the most important thing you can do if you're feeling down or unhappy.
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Because it's the quickest way you can go from anxious and unhappy to feeling very powerful and a lot better.
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I left the university and I was so blessed I went into the family business, which was automobile parts.
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And as I said, I'm very sensitive.
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So my strength is people.
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And I was in charge of the stores.
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We had 18 stores at the time.
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When we sold the company, we had 62 stores.
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And that was my job was to grow it.
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And I would hire people my age, young people who didn't know necessarily as much about parts, but really understood working hard.
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I gave them the chance to earn more money than they ever dreamed possible.
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And we the competition, I say, was guys with motorcycles.
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They were guys who loved auto parts but didn't really like people.
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So it was very easy for us to beat them in business.
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And we did.
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We were very successful.
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So that's a brief bringing you up to uh the age 38 or 40.
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Now, did you know in high school that you wanted to go to Tufts?
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So you wanted to pursue that?
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I actually didn't want to go to Tufts because my entire family went to Tufts.
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My dad, my brother, his family.
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I always wanted to be better than my brother.
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And so I wanted to go to UPenn, which was an Ivy League school, and I got waitlisted and rejected.
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And so I went to Tufts not wanting to go to Tufts.
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I was so unhappy at Tufts the first two years that I transferred to a school in Montreal called McGill.
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And I went to McGill because I had a friend named David Adelman, who went to McGill.
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And when I visited it, I really came away saying, you know what, Tufts, everybody wants to get A's.
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At McGill, everyone wants to play a sport, have a girlfriend, and get B's, which for me was great.
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So I went to McGill and it was just a joy for me.
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I wound up coming back to Tufts and getting my degree from Tufts because after three and a half years, two at Tufts, and one and a half at McGill, the way the credits went, I would have had to do a whole nother year at McGill, or I could just come back to Tufts and do six months, and I chose that.
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Oh, that must have been a difficult decision, too.
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You left Tufts, and then you had the debate.
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Do you stay at McGill or do you go back to Tufts?
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I'll tell you the real difficult decision is when I decided to leave Tufts, I reapplied to UPenn, the dream school, and I got in.
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But I realized at that point I'd kill myself if I went to UPenn and tried to get A's, because that was an Ivy League school.
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So that was even a step up from Tufts.
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So at that point, as much as I wanted to go there my whole life, I chose McGill over UPenn, which I know was a great choice for me.
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And it wasn't that difficult to go back to Tufts because by then I was so tired of school.
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Because I needed to get straight A's.
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And when you need to get straight A's, you burn out.
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So by being there for three and a half years, needing to get straight A's and being so stressed, it was easy to say, let me just go home.
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I'll live at home, I'll do six months and I'll be done.
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That's a great accomplishment, though, that you were able to get in to UPenn, even if you never went there.
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Yeah, I think it was great.
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Because it was your dream whether you actually pursue it.
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It's not like you didn't get the opportunity.
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Yeah.
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And I even say the greatest accomplishment of my life was graduating from college.
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And it's not that I wasn't smart enough, it's that I was so stressed out about being homesick and uh, you know, needing such great grades.
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It was just a struggle every day.
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Did anything help you with your homesickness?
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Coming home.
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I came home every week, even though we we paid for a dorm room.
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I'd usually be at the dorm room Tuesday and Wednesday and be home the rest of the week.
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My parents were fantastic.
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So even what happens when we're young affects us when we're old.
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So even when I have a big trip that I need to make, I go to Israel a lot.
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And let's say, Amanda, that I have to go to Israel for a week without my wife, I get sweaty palms the night before I go.
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That little kid being homesick comes back to me even at age 60.
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That happens to us.
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We still have it.
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You know, I have a friend who is bullied a lot.
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And she saw the bully the other day, and she almost died.
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She she it came back to her like she was a little girl being bullied again.
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So these things don't go away, they stay with us.
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That makes sense that they do.
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I'm curious, uh, you seem like you have a great relationship with your parents.
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How was your relationship with your siblings?
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My relationship with my brother wasn't very good.
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We were very competitive and we were very different.
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He was more of an introvert.
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We worked together.
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So he was the CEO of the company and I was the president.
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So I would go around and I jumped off tables when we had meetings like Tony Robbins to get everybody fired up and excited.
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I'd get down in my hands and knees and beg for sales.
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Come on.
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So I was very animated and really a rock star, in my opinion, when I did my public speaking.
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And he maybe was jealous of that, but a lot of times, and I swore a lot, that's just kind of the way that I am.
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And, you know, when we had a great year, he'd claim, all right, now let's pull you back a little less swearing, a little bit cra less crazy, but then would have a bad year and he'd say, go crazy again.
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So it was kind of crazy the relationship we had.
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And my sister was always much closer with him.
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So I didn't have a good relationship with my siblings, I'd say.
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But I had the closest relationship with my mother growing up, and I still do.
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And my father and I have become very, very close in the later years.
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I gotcha.
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And no, how was woking and running the family business?
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Did you enjoy that?
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The greatest experience in my life.
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I loved it.
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Loved every minute of it.
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What was your favorite part about it?
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My favorite part about it was hiring these young guys and teaching them how to love life and be good, not only be good at work, but be good husbands and fathers and mothers.
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See, I was a devotee of Tony Robbins.
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I don't know how much you know about Tony Robbins, but he was huge in the 90s and 2000s, and he teaches you how to believe in yourself and how you can do great things and how you can focus on being a happy person.
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And I would have a lot of people in their 20s and 30s who were unhappy, which is even today.
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You know, they were brought up, you'll always be like your parents, Amanda.
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Okay?
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So you won't be what your parents tell you to be, but you'll always be like them.
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So I had one guy, his name was Barry.
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Most people I could break.
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If they were negative, I could break them.
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And a lot of people felt it was almost like a colour.
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The way that uh at the beginning of my meetings would play loud music, we are the champions and would chant and we go crazy.
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But Barry I couldn't break because he said my grandpa was negative, my dad was negative, I'm negative, that's just the way it's gonna be.
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And you know how I broke him?
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How?
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I broke him because he had a son was born, and I said to him one day, Barry, you've completely convinced me that you are like your parents.
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So your great-grandpa was negative, your grandpa was negative, your father was negative, and now you're extremely negative.
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Do you really want your son to be that way?
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And he started to cry, and he said, basically, no, I don't, you know, help me out.
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So that was really it, a proud moment that I remember.
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Wow.
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Yeah.
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As much as all the business, we were very successful.
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We grew by 20% a year.
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When we sold the company, we were a hundred million dollar company.
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You know, we we went from 20 stores to 62 stores.
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We were very successful.
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How long did you run that approximately?
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I was there for 18 years.
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And I, you know, I got burnt out just like I did with all everything else.
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I put too much into it.
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So you sold it, and what was your next step from selling it?
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I felt like I really needed to stay busy because I was worried about having too much time in my hands and being depressed.
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So the very first thing I did, and it's very amazing that you asked me this today, I ran the Boston Marathon, which, if anybody in the rest of the country doesn't know, today was the 130th running of the Boston Marathon.
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I did it when it was the 117th running when I was 37 when I ran the Boston Marathon.
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Today I'm 60.
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So that's the first thing I did.
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I wanted to have something, a challenge.
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I wanted it to be healthy.
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I started running one mile, two miles, or up to 26 miles.
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The other thing I did is I wrote a book.
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I really wanted to share with people that we all make mistakes and we're all human.
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And so when we do stuff that you could say is dumb, you're not the only one.
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Because when you do stuff, whether you're young or old, you feel like you're the only one.
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So, for example, when I was 18, 17, a beautiful girl, and I was terrible with women when I was young, beautiful girl invited me to her cotillion, which is like a prom.
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And the first thing that happened is I was wearing work boots.
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My father says it couldn't be, but whatever I was wearing on my feet, the minute she saw them, she gasped.
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It was, she was so embarrassed.
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And then I took her to her cotillion.
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And the first thing I did to be, you know, impressive is I pulled the chair out for her, and she sat on the floor.
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It was so embarrassing in front of all of her friends.
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And so this still bothers me to this day.
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I'm still bothered by that.
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And at the time I felt like what a loser, you know, no one else has ever done that.
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Well, of course, thousands of people have pulled a chair out, but you feel like you're the only one.
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I was bullied by a girl in my senior year.
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She ruined my year.
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And, you know, at the time I thought, geez, what a loser.
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How could anybody be bullied by a girl?
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But I'm sure thousands of men have been bullied by a girl.
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So you feel like you're the only one.
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You go into a meeting with your fly down if you're a man.
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I'm sure Bill Clinton and Obama and Trump have all gone into a meeting with their fly down, but you think you're the only one.
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So I wrote a book about all of my life.
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I think of myself as lying on a bed like in high school when you dissected a frog.
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And I'm just letting people dissect my entire life.
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The plus is I had the greatest, I've had the lowest laws with the greatest highs.
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So that was the purpose of the book.
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And that took me almost three years to write it.
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And then we got into the workbook teaching people how to live a happier life.
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And then I started speaking and traveling and doing all of that.
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How long ago was it that you wrote the book?
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The book was published in 2012.
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The truth is, from 2016 to about two years ago, I wasn't doing anything with the happiness.
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I took some time off from the happiness.
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I was frustrated because I really felt like I wrote a great book.
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It won an award for the Jewish book of the year.
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And but nobody went to Amazon.
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Nobody bought it.
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It wasn't in any of the bookstores, Barnes and Noble.
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The only time I'd sell it is if I gave a speech.
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And, you know, it's a pain to bring all these books and make sure you're selling them and taking, you know,$20 for every single book that you sell.
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So I I got frustrated with it and I stopped.
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And I really went into charity.
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I was very successful in the business, so I had plenty of money.
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So I started giving it away.
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And then I decided to get back into the happiness and the speaking and the podcast interviews like we're doing today.
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Now I'm curious, have you did you always think you would write a book, some sort of book?
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Never.
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Never.
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I don't consider myself that smart to write a book.
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But you were I know it was pro perfectionist, but you were getting A's.
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I know, but I don't know what I would write about.
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Okay.
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So when did you get the inkling or the idea, whatever you want to call it, that you thought you wanted to write a book?
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At the age of 36, I was very successful at work.
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But I was burnt out and I had a complete nervous breakdown.
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I was suicidal for three days.
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I really wanted to kill myself.
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And the only way I got better was the right medication.
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So obviously, I'm telling people on your podcast to go to a doctor, don't take my advice.
00:16:46.559 --> 00:16:52.399
But if you break and you can't get out of bed and you want to kill yourself, I highly recommend medicine.
00:16:52.559 --> 00:16:56.159
Again, I'm not telling you to do it without speaking to a professional.
00:16:56.399 --> 00:17:01.279
So the meds got me better, but I said to myself, boy, you were riding so high.
00:17:01.519 --> 00:17:03.519
You've got more money than you ever dreamed.
00:17:03.600 --> 00:17:09.279
You've been so successful, you happily married your father, and you wanted to kill yourself.
00:17:09.599 --> 00:17:10.960
Something's broken.
00:17:11.200 --> 00:17:15.839
And you can share this example with people to try to help them avoid it.
00:17:16.079 --> 00:17:24.000
And then I asked myself, Amanda, what are the things that I should be doing habitually that could lead to a better life?
00:17:24.319 --> 00:17:35.200
See, what happens when you have a breakdown or you have cancer or you have a heart attack and you think you're going to die is that's the only time really that you say, screw it, I'm done with my life.
00:17:35.359 --> 00:17:36.079
I'm going to change.
00:17:36.160 --> 00:17:38.000
I'm going to live a different life.
00:17:38.640 --> 00:17:46.880
The next book I'm thinking of writing is how I can help people who don't have serious illnesses change when they want to.
00:17:47.039 --> 00:17:51.039
Because there's a lot of people working 70 hours a week and they're addicted to it.
00:17:51.119 --> 00:17:52.960
You get addicted to success.
00:17:53.359 --> 00:17:57.519
I love being told that I'm the first one at work and the last one to leave.
00:17:57.680 --> 00:17:59.039
I love getting the trophies.
00:17:59.119 --> 00:18:00.240
I love getting the raises.
00:18:00.319 --> 00:18:03.440
It's like when you're a little kid playing soccer and you score goals.
00:18:03.599 --> 00:18:04.799
You get addicted to that.
00:18:05.039 --> 00:18:06.960
How do you get off of that?
00:18:07.599 --> 00:18:11.599
I often say to people, think of your tombstone when you die.
00:18:12.000 --> 00:18:19.119
Would you rather it say Bill was the greatest worker at ABC Company, or Bill was a great dad and a great father?
00:18:19.359 --> 00:18:27.440
Now, 900 out of us, 999,000 are going to say, I'd much rather it say I was a good husband and dad.
00:18:27.599 --> 00:18:30.000
But you never see your wife and you never see your kids.
00:18:30.079 --> 00:18:32.319
You're living at work the whole time.
00:18:33.039 --> 00:18:39.920
So I came up with the 12 things that I feel like you should do on a habitual basis to live a happier life.
00:18:40.160 --> 00:18:43.839
Some I was already doing, and a lot of them were knit.
00:18:44.160 --> 00:18:52.559
And that's where I that's the reason I wrote the book is to try to help people learn about the breakdown to the breakthrough.
00:18:52.880 --> 00:18:58.400
And that life isn't just about downs, someone always down or someone always up.
00:18:58.640 --> 00:18:59.839
I had the highest highs.
00:18:59.920 --> 00:19:03.920
I had things happen to me that uh are totally inexplicable.
00:19:04.000 --> 00:19:06.000
If you want me to go into it, I can.
00:19:06.400 --> 00:19:12.079
So I'm curious if you don't mind sharing some of what you say is the inexplicable.
00:19:13.039 --> 00:19:23.599
I knew Aerosmith from uh I gave money to a rehab clinic that Stephen Tyler was at.
00:19:24.240 --> 00:19:29.359
And they told me if I gave more that he'd come to my 40th birthday party, which he did.
00:19:29.519 --> 00:19:37.519
So I got to know him, and then I was allowed through his manager to come backstage to some of his concerts.
00:19:38.160 --> 00:19:41.200
I'm also very involved with Israel.
00:19:41.599 --> 00:19:55.279
So about 20 years ago, an Israeli soldier named Ehud Levi was taken by Hezbolla on the Lebanese border.
00:19:55.599 --> 00:20:02.960
And his wife was coming to America all the time, to the UN, and pleading, don't forget about my husband.
00:20:03.039 --> 00:20:05.680
I want to keep him in the front of everybody's mind.
00:20:06.160 --> 00:20:12.319
And what happened is I was asked to pay some money for her hotel so she could stay in New York.
00:20:12.480 --> 00:20:15.039
And then I told you, I have a big heart.
00:20:15.680 --> 00:20:17.119
I said, you know what?
00:20:17.359 --> 00:20:21.519
This woman's dying every night she's upset and dying.
00:20:21.680 --> 00:20:25.680
Let me take you to an Arasmith concert and introduce her to Steven Tyler.
00:20:26.079 --> 00:20:31.680
So I got in touch with her manager, and she said she'd love to go.
00:20:32.480 --> 00:20:44.880
Well, Amanda, a week before the show, the Israeli government calls me up from New York and says, where should we put the microphone, the stand, where should we have the television cameras?
00:20:45.039 --> 00:20:46.880
And I said, What are you talking about?
00:20:47.119 --> 00:20:54.799
She said, Well, she said that you're going to have Steven Tyler ask for her husband's release before the concert, and we want to have it on TV.
00:20:54.960 --> 00:20:57.119
And I said, This is crazy.
00:20:57.200 --> 00:20:59.200
This isn't anything I ever imagined.
00:20:59.279 --> 00:21:03.039
I'm just having her go for a good time and just see Steven Tyler.
00:21:03.839 --> 00:21:05.759
So I said, Does she still want to go?
00:21:05.920 --> 00:21:06.160
Yes.
00:21:06.319 --> 00:21:07.200
I picked her up.
00:21:07.359 --> 00:21:11.680
And the whole way over, she said, we have to get Steven to ask for his release.
00:21:11.839 --> 00:21:14.240
And I said, fine, we'll do the best we can.
00:21:14.480 --> 00:21:27.359
So we went backstage, and her manager, John Slade, I told him I'm going to have her, her name was Ruti, go backstage and speak to Stephen and ask him to do this.
00:21:27.519 --> 00:21:30.720
John said, if she does that, you're never coming back again.
00:21:30.880 --> 00:21:32.000
You're blacklisted.
00:21:32.079 --> 00:21:34.079
You'll never get back here again.
00:21:34.559 --> 00:21:38.880
So she was crying, and I said, Listen, you got one chance at this.
00:21:39.119 --> 00:21:41.200
When you meet Steven, beg him.
00:21:41.359 --> 00:21:41.839
Cry.
00:21:42.000 --> 00:21:43.039
Do whatever you can.
00:21:43.279 --> 00:21:46.799
Ask him to please mention whatever you want him to.
00:21:47.039 --> 00:21:52.559
So she begged Stephen during Dream On, because that was her husband's favorite song.
00:21:52.720 --> 00:21:55.279
And Stephen actually went in the middle of the concert.
00:21:55.359 --> 00:21:59.680
He stopped the concert and asked Hezbollah to release Hootie, which I just think is.
00:22:00.240 --> 00:22:00.960
Really cool thing.
00:22:01.119 --> 00:22:05.599
So for me, that's one of my highlights in my life because I was able to put that together.
00:22:06.720 --> 00:22:08.480
So that's a high for me.
00:22:30.750 --> 00:22:31.390
Wow.
00:22:32.750 --> 00:22:36.430
And did anything happen to you from that situation?
00:22:36.990 --> 00:22:43.070
Well, first of all, he had already been killed, we found out a year later, prior to even this concert.
00:22:43.870 --> 00:22:45.470
But nothing happened to me, no.
00:22:46.750 --> 00:22:48.430
I just felt great about it, that's all.
00:22:48.590 --> 00:22:59.710
For me, it was a special moment to get Steven Tyler to stop the concert during the song Dream On, which was this guy's favorite song, and asked for his release.
00:22:59.870 --> 00:23:03.550
I'm sure Steven didn't even know what Lebanon was or Israel was.
00:23:03.630 --> 00:23:06.750
I mean, he's you know, he's getting fired up for his performance.
00:23:06.910 --> 00:23:11.310
He's got all everything going on, and it was amazing.
00:23:11.870 --> 00:23:19.550
I'm curious, transitioning back, uh Tad, when you had this breakdown, what were you doing for woke?
00:23:19.710 --> 00:23:20.990
Were you at the company?
00:23:21.470 --> 00:23:23.230
So yeah, no, I was at the company.
00:23:23.390 --> 00:23:25.950
I was working, you know, 70 hours a week.
00:23:26.110 --> 00:23:29.390
People were saying if you continue to work this hard, you're gonna have a breakdown.
00:23:29.550 --> 00:23:30.830
I wasn't listening to him.
00:23:30.910 --> 00:23:33.070
I was loving every single minute of it.
00:23:33.310 --> 00:23:35.150
And then what happened is a few things.
00:23:35.470 --> 00:23:43.870
My wife and I lost a pregnancy, and I fainted on the floor, and the doctor said that was actually when the breakdown started.
00:23:44.110 --> 00:23:48.190
And then what happened is I had become addicted to exercise.
00:23:48.509 --> 00:23:57.150
And as I told you, whenever we had company meetings, I would jump off tables and get crazy and get people fired up.
00:23:57.470 --> 00:24:04.350
And we decided to have a meeting on the in our headquarters on the warehouse, which is a cement floor.
00:24:04.590 --> 00:24:10.430
We decided to have it at the headquarters so the store managers could meet with the office managers.
00:24:10.590 --> 00:24:12.990
And I fractured both my feet.
00:24:13.310 --> 00:24:14.910
So I couldn't exercise.
00:24:15.070 --> 00:24:18.030
So I was depressed about losing the pregnancy.
00:24:18.830 --> 00:24:22.350
I couldn't exercise, which is like an antidepressant.
00:24:22.590 --> 00:24:27.070
And then I sunk down deeper and had that time when I was suicidal.
00:24:27.710 --> 00:24:31.710
Now, you mentioned you were in bed, I think you said three days.
00:24:31.950 --> 00:24:32.590
Yeah.
00:24:33.550 --> 00:24:40.750
What gave you, I don't know if I want to say courage or the will to go to the doctor.
00:24:41.390 --> 00:24:44.910
Well, I mean, I knew that I didn't want to really kill myself.
00:24:45.070 --> 00:24:53.390
And I felt so, so, so bad that, you know, you just like get me to a doctor, get me to somewhere, someone who can help me.
00:24:53.790 --> 00:24:55.310
The first doctor was awful.
00:24:55.390 --> 00:24:57.070
He said that I'd never work again.
00:24:57.230 --> 00:25:02.910
And then I went to the right doctor, he said, You'll be fine, just take these medications and I'll work with you, and you'll be fine.
00:25:03.230 --> 00:25:05.870
The post doctor told you you'd never work again.
00:25:06.269 --> 00:25:07.710
Yeah, he was crazy.
00:25:08.110 --> 00:25:08.990
Terrible doc.
00:25:10.750 --> 00:25:15.470
Did that feel like defeating at all to you, or did you not buy it?
00:25:15.790 --> 00:25:17.310
Oh my God, was it defeating?
00:25:17.390 --> 00:25:22.910
When you're in that sense of mind, when everything's bad, you're bad, the whole world is bad, and it says you're never going to work again.
00:25:23.070 --> 00:25:25.790
Oh my God, it was the worst thing in the world.
00:25:26.830 --> 00:25:30.269
How long after did you go see the different doctor?
00:25:30.910 --> 00:25:33.470
I think it took me another month to find the right doctor.
00:25:33.630 --> 00:25:37.630
And that whole time it was excruciatingly painful.
00:25:38.509 --> 00:25:44.990
I say I was in bed for three days and wanted to kill myself, but during that entire month, I probably was suicidal.
00:25:45.950 --> 00:25:48.509
Was there anything that helped you?
00:25:48.990 --> 00:25:51.630
Exercise kept me a little good.
00:25:51.870 --> 00:25:54.750
For the most part, it was only when I got on the medicine.
00:25:56.350 --> 00:26:01.390
But I mean in that in-between period, like that month long.
00:26:01.470 --> 00:26:03.630
Like I was in terrible pain.
00:26:03.870 --> 00:26:07.390
Like if you got hit by a car for the first month or two.
00:26:07.470 --> 00:26:10.190
I mean, I was in terrible pain until I got in the medicine.
00:26:11.470 --> 00:26:14.350
Did anything help you hang on, Jose?
00:26:16.110 --> 00:26:23.230
When I we went away once and I actually took a knife and I, you know, put it near my wrist, but I didn't actually do it.
00:26:23.630 --> 00:26:29.470
So if you said you said nothing helped me, I guess maybe the fact that I had my son, I didn't want to kill myself because of him.
00:26:29.710 --> 00:26:31.390
Maybe I hung on because of him.
00:26:31.470 --> 00:26:37.550
But I think a lot of people talk about killing themselves and they really want to do it.
00:26:37.870 --> 00:26:39.710
But do they actually do it?
00:26:39.870 --> 00:26:42.670
You know, 90% don't.
00:26:43.310 --> 00:26:46.830
It's more common than you think, people wanting to kill themselves.
00:26:47.470 --> 00:26:48.110
I know.
00:26:48.430 --> 00:26:49.630
I know it is.
00:26:50.430 --> 00:26:56.350
So then about a month later, you uh went to the different doctor and got on medication.
00:26:56.750 --> 00:26:58.990
And within three weeks, I was like my old self.
00:26:59.230 --> 00:27:03.150
My chemistry in my brain went back to normal, and I felt great.
00:27:03.390 --> 00:27:11.710
And that's when I said I gotta put together a workbook and share with people the things that I'm gonna start doing in my life to live a happier life.
00:27:12.190 --> 00:27:12.830
Wow.
00:27:13.230 --> 00:27:18.750
And now you said some of these things you were previously doing, and some of them were new things.
00:27:19.070 --> 00:27:19.950
Correct.
00:27:20.350 --> 00:27:22.910
Do you mind giving us an example of one?
00:27:23.390 --> 00:27:25.070
Well, I was always doing exercise.
00:27:25.230 --> 00:27:30.509
And I don't mind, I can go through all 12 if we have the time, but I was always exercising.
00:27:30.670 --> 00:27:32.670
And that's the first of my 12 things.
00:27:32.990 --> 00:27:39.230
Because as I said, exercise is the quickest way you can go from feeling terrible to feeling better.
00:27:39.550 --> 00:27:46.910
And the next thing is listening or reading inspirational material, which I was doing a lot of with Tony Robbins.
00:27:47.230 --> 00:27:54.990
Because what we want to do is for the first two things, we want to get people feeling stronger physically and emotionally.
00:27:55.150 --> 00:27:57.870
That's going to the gym.
00:27:58.190 --> 00:28:00.030
Or you can even just walk around the house.
00:28:00.190 --> 00:28:03.150
I don't want you to go to the gym on day one and lift 100 pounds.
00:28:03.390 --> 00:28:05.630
We want to just have you go at your own pace.
00:28:05.870 --> 00:28:08.910
And then week two is listening to inspirational material.
00:28:08.990 --> 00:28:15.390
So you're in the right frame of mind to go through weeks three through 12, which are really difficult weeks three through 12.
00:28:15.630 --> 00:28:18.750
Week three is learning how to be easier on yourself.
00:28:19.310 --> 00:28:23.710
Most people treat themselves worse than they treat their worst enemy.
00:28:23.870 --> 00:28:31.390
They say things like, I can't believe how fat I am, I can't believe how stupid I am, I can't believe what a bad dad I am, what a bad mother I am.
00:28:31.710 --> 00:28:33.310
We do this all the time.
00:28:33.870 --> 00:28:43.470
Most of us will have a good day, we do everything right and one thing wrong, and we spend our entire night saying, I can't believe I did that.
00:28:43.630 --> 00:28:46.509
And then the next day we do a hundred things right and one thing wrong.
00:28:46.670 --> 00:28:48.670
We say, I can't believe I did that.
00:28:48.910 --> 00:28:53.150
Your brain can be your greatest asset or your greatest prison.
00:28:53.630 --> 00:28:54.910
That's true.
00:28:55.550 --> 00:29:02.670
So learning how to be easy, how do people be can be easier on themselves?
00:29:02.990 --> 00:29:07.550
Well, it's extremely difficult, but I liken it to quit smoke.
00:29:07.710 --> 00:29:11.470
And I'm old, so when I grew up, everybody smoked cigarettes.
00:29:12.110 --> 00:29:15.150
And nowadays people want to quit.
00:29:15.390 --> 00:29:20.910
And the first thing they need to do is recognize when they start to bring the cigarette to their mouth.
00:29:21.150 --> 00:29:22.990
You're not all of a sudden going to quit.
00:29:23.150 --> 00:29:25.070
So first recognize it.
00:29:25.230 --> 00:29:28.830
And then eventually you want to try to stop doing it.
00:29:29.710 --> 00:29:34.269
So I want you to recognize when you start being mean to yourself.
00:29:34.990 --> 00:29:39.070
Okay, you give a speech at the company and it was flawless.
00:29:39.230 --> 00:29:41.710
But the last 30 seconds you threw out.
00:29:42.110 --> 00:29:48.990
And instead of saying, My God, I just rock and roll, you come home and you say, I just fucked this up completely.
00:29:49.150 --> 00:29:50.350
Excuse my French.
00:29:50.509 --> 00:29:50.830
Okay?
00:29:50.990 --> 00:29:53.230
It's a totally different way of looking.
00:29:54.030 --> 00:29:59.070
So I want you, when you do that, I want you to say, interesting.
00:29:59.790 --> 00:30:01.630
I just was really mean to myself.
00:30:01.710 --> 00:30:05.310
I gave a great speech and one bad thing, and I'm beat beating myself up.
00:30:05.390 --> 00:30:06.750
So I want you to recognize.
00:30:07.470 --> 00:30:11.310
Eventually, I want you to start saying things differently to yourself.
00:30:11.630 --> 00:30:22.670
So let's say that um you had a bad encounter with a friend, and you would go home and say, What a jerk I am.
00:30:22.990 --> 00:30:25.310
Can't believe I treated my friend that way.
00:30:25.630 --> 00:30:28.750
Two years ago it was even worse, and three years ago it was worse.
00:30:28.830 --> 00:30:30.590
I guess I'm a really bad person.
00:30:30.830 --> 00:30:38.430
I want you to come back and say, you know, I probably could have handled that differently, instead of saying how awful you are.
00:30:38.670 --> 00:30:43.470
Another example is someone who exaggerates things.
00:30:43.790 --> 00:30:46.350
So let's say, Amanda, you have a bad day.
00:30:46.750 --> 00:30:52.670
Let's say you're the kind of person who comes home and says, today was the worst day of my life.
00:30:52.830 --> 00:30:54.190
It was awful.
00:30:54.350 --> 00:30:57.150
How does that make you feel the rest of the night?
00:30:57.390 --> 00:31:00.590
I would rather you say, you know, today was a little bit off.
00:31:00.750 --> 00:31:02.350
How does that make you feel?
00:31:02.590 --> 00:31:07.070
So we're trying to, you know, bring everything down.
00:31:08.430 --> 00:31:09.470
So that's what we do.
00:31:09.630 --> 00:31:15.630
We teach people to realize when they're starting to be mean to themselves and then use different wording.
00:31:16.750 --> 00:31:19.790
And they can also catch themselves doing things right.
00:31:20.430 --> 00:31:27.150
You know, someone takes a test like me, and if they do badly, it ruins their life.
00:31:27.310 --> 00:31:31.630
And if they do good, they pat themselves on the back for two seconds.
00:31:31.790 --> 00:31:34.110
Actually, they don't pet themselves at all.
00:31:35.070 --> 00:31:45.310
So if we're only going to look at the things that go bad and destroy ourselves, and we're never ever going to look at when we do good, it doesn't work.
00:31:46.590 --> 00:31:51.950
And it makes a lot of sense about recognizing it and bringing it to the awareness.
00:31:52.110 --> 00:31:58.670
You know, like if you're not aware of when it's happening or how it's happening, you can't change something.
00:31:59.070 --> 00:31:59.950
Correct.
00:32:00.590 --> 00:32:01.790
And we're all that way.
00:32:01.870 --> 00:32:07.550
You know, most of our parents coming up in the generation they did, I'm a little older than you.
00:32:08.030 --> 00:32:08.990
They were negative.
00:32:09.150 --> 00:32:10.269
Most people are negative.
00:32:10.509 --> 00:32:13.070
Most people feel like they got the raw end of the stick.
00:32:13.230 --> 00:32:14.590
Everybody has more than them.
00:32:14.750 --> 00:32:17.230
Like in their mind, life sucks.
00:32:17.390 --> 00:32:19.150
And they bring this on to their kids.
00:32:19.950 --> 00:32:22.990
The kids beat themselves up, and people aren't happy.
00:32:23.230 --> 00:32:25.790
There's very few people who are really happy.
00:32:27.150 --> 00:32:28.190
That is so true.
00:32:28.509 --> 00:32:33.150
The next one, which I think is really important, is playing to our strengths.
00:32:33.710 --> 00:32:39.870
Everyone was born with certain things they're really good at and things they're not good at.
00:32:40.110 --> 00:32:45.950
So you have things that you're much better at than me, and I have things that I'm much better at than you.
00:32:47.390 --> 00:32:50.590
Usually the things that we're good at, we love to do.
00:32:50.830 --> 00:32:56.350
So I encourage people to take out a piece of paper and make two lists.
00:32:56.750 --> 00:33:04.269
I want you to list the five things that you think you're better at than most people on the left side.
00:33:04.509 --> 00:33:08.670
And on the right side, I want you to list the things you love to do the most.
00:33:10.110 --> 00:33:15.150
Anything that's on both of the left list and the right list, I want you to circle.
00:33:15.870 --> 00:33:18.590
That's the stuff you're meant to do in this plan.
00:33:19.310 --> 00:33:21.790
And if you're doing it, bravo.
00:33:22.430 --> 00:33:24.750
Nine out of ten people aren't doing it.
00:33:24.990 --> 00:33:30.269
They took the first job out of high school or college because they didn't have anything else to do.
00:33:30.509 --> 00:33:38.670
They said that they'll leave there in, you know, a year when they can find the right job, but 50 years later and they're still in the job they don't like.
00:33:39.950 --> 00:33:42.830
Most people aren't doing the hobbies they love.
00:33:43.070 --> 00:33:47.390
Let's say somebody loves to sing, but they're not singing.
00:33:47.630 --> 00:33:49.710
I want to encourage you to sing.
00:33:50.030 --> 00:33:53.790
I want to encourage you to have a plan of how you can start singing.
00:33:54.030 --> 00:33:58.590
I want you to come up with the three things that you can do immediately to start singing.
00:33:58.830 --> 00:34:08.909
Maybe one is to join a choir, one is to join a local theater group, or maybe one is to join a karaoke group.
00:34:09.150 --> 00:34:13.630
And then I want you to choose which one of those, and I want you to do something immediately.
00:34:13.789 --> 00:34:16.509
Because if you don't do immediately, you won't do it.
00:34:16.829 --> 00:34:23.550
I want the very next day for you to call one of those places and set up a first appointment.
00:34:24.110 --> 00:34:32.750
So if you're in a job you hate, start taking classes so you can get into a job you love and start doing something you love.
00:34:34.190 --> 00:34:36.190
Spend more time doing what you love.
00:34:36.430 --> 00:34:37.389
Life is short.
00:34:37.470 --> 00:34:40.590
You know, the only thing we know for sure is we're all gonna die.
00:34:40.750 --> 00:34:42.510
And you actually could die tomorrow.
00:34:42.670 --> 00:34:43.789
You don't know that.
00:34:44.670 --> 00:34:54.430
It's the cancer patients or the guy who just, you know, had a heart attack and they thought he was gonna die that make up their bucket list the next day and they do it.
00:34:54.590 --> 00:35:00.829
So it's a blessing many times to have a heart attack or cancer in the long run.
00:35:02.670 --> 00:35:06.670
That's the only thing that we're all guaranteed is we're gonna die one day.
00:35:07.950 --> 00:35:08.829
You got it.
00:35:10.510 --> 00:35:14.030
The fifth one is living in the present.
00:35:14.349 --> 00:35:18.430
So let's say that you have a child and you're swinging him on the swing set.
00:35:19.950 --> 00:35:24.670
How much of the time are you actually focused on the swing set in the child?
00:35:25.630 --> 00:35:27.710
47% of the time.
00:35:28.030 --> 00:35:31.950
53% of the time you're focused on the past or the future.
00:35:32.110 --> 00:35:37.550
So you're swinging them, but you're thinking, geez, I gotta go to work tomorrow and I gotta make that speech.
00:35:37.630 --> 00:35:40.430
And, you know, how do I need to do that speech?
00:35:40.670 --> 00:35:51.070
Or you're still thinking about that fight you had with your sister-in-law years ago, and it's still coming up, and it's something that you haven't been able to leave in the past.
00:35:51.309 --> 00:36:01.710
And we encourage you with things in the past that you don't feel comfortable actually meeting with them, you're so angry, at least write a letter to them.
00:36:02.190 --> 00:36:04.349
And you can send it or you can burn it.
00:36:05.550 --> 00:36:07.950
Fear of the future is a big one, Amanda.
00:36:08.030 --> 00:36:15.070
That's when we have things that we're afraid of that aren't even gonna happen.
00:36:15.309 --> 00:36:20.110
I saw an interview of 103-year-old woman, and they said, What's your biggest regret in life?
00:36:20.190 --> 00:36:22.670
And she said, worrying about things that never happen.
00:36:23.470 --> 00:36:29.789
So, you know, we are afraid that we're gonna get cancer in the future.
00:36:30.110 --> 00:36:32.030
But we're only 40 years old.
00:36:32.269 --> 00:36:35.150
So, what's the likelihood you're gonna get cancer now?
00:36:35.470 --> 00:36:38.510
Probably six percent.
00:36:38.829 --> 00:36:42.430
But you're worried about it all the time because your brother got cancer.
00:36:42.670 --> 00:36:45.869
And if you did get cancer, what's the likelihood you're gonna die?
00:36:46.030 --> 00:36:48.750
It's probably 10%, 6%.
00:36:49.309 --> 00:36:51.869
So what's the likelihood you're gonna get cancer?
00:36:52.110 --> 00:36:54.430
6%, and die, 6%.
00:36:54.990 --> 00:37:00.750
If you do the math, it's probably all the way down to 1%, but you're spending all this time worrying about it.
00:37:01.389 --> 00:37:04.829
Or you're so worried that you're gonna screw up the speech the next day.
00:37:05.070 --> 00:37:09.389
But every time you do a speech, it's flawless and it's perfect, but you're still worried about it.
00:37:09.550 --> 00:37:14.190
So we spend way too much time worrying about things that never even happen.
00:37:15.389 --> 00:37:17.950
And they really rob us of our life.
00:37:19.150 --> 00:37:22.510
47% of the time we're living in the present.
00:37:23.389 --> 00:37:24.030
Wow.
00:37:24.670 --> 00:37:26.990
Where does that statistic come from?
00:37:28.269 --> 00:37:29.950
I guess I read a book.
00:37:31.550 --> 00:37:32.750
I was just curious.
00:37:33.070 --> 00:37:38.110
Yeah, no, professionals at college is a lot smarter than me have come up with 47%.
00:37:39.230 --> 00:37:40.670
Makes sense during the day.
00:37:40.750 --> 00:37:46.430
I mean, how much time are you actually spending focusing on what you're doing?
00:37:46.750 --> 00:37:54.750
Or how much time is your mind thinking about, oh my God, I'm really worried about that tomorrow or this afternoon.
00:37:55.070 --> 00:37:57.470
Why did my boyfriend say that thing to me?
00:37:57.550 --> 00:37:58.670
I'm really pissed off.
00:37:58.829 --> 00:38:01.230
What are you really focused on in the minute?
00:38:01.389 --> 00:38:03.950
It's usually something other than what you're doing.
00:38:05.150 --> 00:38:05.789
Yeah.
00:38:07.230 --> 00:38:08.750
That makes sense.
00:38:09.389 --> 00:38:14.990
So uh the other thing I focus on is eliminating the things that stress you out.
00:38:15.230 --> 00:38:21.230
So let's say that you absolutely hate paying the checks every month.
00:38:21.470 --> 00:38:25.470
The first question is can you absolutely actually avoid paying them?
00:38:26.269 --> 00:38:32.590
You have a wife or a husband, and you agreed when you first got married that you'd pay the checks and then do the cleaning.
00:38:32.910 --> 00:38:35.150
Maybe you can ask them if they'd swap.
00:38:36.829 --> 00:38:39.869
And if they say, No way, Jose, I won't swap.
00:38:39.950 --> 00:38:43.869
We agreed on day one that you're doing the checks and I'm doing the cleaning.
00:38:44.829 --> 00:38:48.910
So you can't avoid it completely, but maybe you can do it differently.
00:38:49.150 --> 00:38:59.389
So if you're someone who's really anal and pays the checks every day they come in and you get six checks a month, so six days a month, you're paying checks, and you're in a bad mood.
00:38:59.550 --> 00:39:00.990
Maybe you can pay them once a month.
00:39:01.230 --> 00:39:02.670
Pay them differently.
00:39:04.030 --> 00:39:17.230
And finally, if you hate going over the homework with your kids every night, maybe you can look at it differently and say, you know what, I really don't like doing this, but I get a chance to be with my kids every night.
00:39:17.470 --> 00:39:18.590
It's a wonderful thing.
00:39:18.750 --> 00:39:21.789
I'm mentoring them and I'm mentoring them for their future.
00:39:22.030 --> 00:39:26.430
So even though you don't like all these things, you can try not to do it.
00:39:27.150 --> 00:39:28.670
Swap it for someone.
00:39:28.910 --> 00:39:35.389
You can do it differently, write the one checks once a month instead of six separately, or look at it differently.
00:39:36.829 --> 00:39:38.030
I like those.
00:39:38.269 --> 00:39:44.190
Trying not to do it, doing it differently, or reframing how you look at it.
00:39:45.710 --> 00:39:47.070
Absolutely.
00:39:47.470 --> 00:39:53.470
That concept seems so simple, but I think it's something that a lot of people don't think about or consider.
00:39:54.750 --> 00:39:56.829
Yeah, people get very frustrated.
00:39:56.990 --> 00:39:59.869
They hate doing things, but they have to do it all the time.
00:40:00.190 --> 00:40:02.510
Someone hates cleaning the house.
00:40:03.470 --> 00:40:07.470
But they don't think they have the money to pay for a house cleaner.
00:40:07.869 --> 00:40:12.990
The house cleaner is$100 every two weeks or once a month.
00:40:13.230 --> 00:40:24.670
Well, why don't you go on one less date with your husband if you go every single week out on a date and you like the date, but you'd rather miss the date and get a housekeeper for sure.
00:40:24.910 --> 00:40:26.110
Why not do that?
00:40:26.430 --> 00:40:28.269
Think outside the box.
00:40:28.910 --> 00:40:33.230
Number seven, which is very important.
00:40:33.389 --> 00:40:36.829
In fact, if you don't do it, the whole program's kind of a waste.
00:40:37.150 --> 00:40:43.230
And that is spending more time with positive people, less time with negative people.
00:40:44.110 --> 00:40:50.269
So I want you to make a list of the five people you spend the most time with.
00:40:51.550 --> 00:40:55.550
And I want you to rank each one one to five.
00:40:56.030 --> 00:41:01.470
One is so negative that you could be having the greatest day, Amanda, and they pull you down.
00:41:01.710 --> 00:41:03.710
They make you feel miserable.
00:41:04.030 --> 00:41:07.789
Five, you could be having the worst day and they lift you up.
00:41:08.190 --> 00:41:11.630
And then I want you to put a number next to each of those.
00:41:12.190 --> 00:41:13.550
One to five.
00:41:14.030 --> 00:41:15.389
Each of your friends.
00:41:15.630 --> 00:41:17.309
List rank them one to five.
00:41:17.470 --> 00:41:19.550
One, they're brutal, five, they're great.
00:41:19.789 --> 00:41:22.590
And then I want you to add up those numbers.
00:41:24.110 --> 00:41:25.389
Divide by five.
00:41:25.630 --> 00:41:31.309
So now you have your average number in terms of positivity.
00:41:31.470 --> 00:41:35.950
And if your average number is a one or a two, you need to make some changes with your friends.
00:41:36.190 --> 00:41:38.910
If it's a four or five, you're doing great.
00:41:39.470 --> 00:41:43.630
And you say, Well, how can I make a change with a friend be friends with forever?
00:41:43.950 --> 00:41:51.550
You let them know that you feel like you've been very negative lately, so you've decided to take a course, and you need them to take a course too.
00:41:51.789 --> 00:41:58.910
Because you have kids and you learned in the course that your kids will be like you, and I really don't want them to be like me.
00:41:59.230 --> 00:42:04.349
So you're negative, I'm negative, I'm taking the course, I need you to take a course too.
00:42:04.829 --> 00:42:08.349
And if they don't, you say to them again, I need you to take the course.
00:42:08.510 --> 00:42:12.269
And if they still don't, you start spending less time with them.
00:42:13.710 --> 00:42:16.670
And more time with friends that lift you out.
00:42:17.710 --> 00:42:19.389
That makes a lot of sense.
00:42:19.630 --> 00:42:25.789
I don't know who quoted this, but they say you're the average of the five people you spend the most time with.
00:42:26.110 --> 00:42:28.349
That was cosmonix, yeah.
00:42:29.309 --> 00:42:39.389
Even outside of happiness and positivity, like if they're not doing things to better their lives, you're less likely to as well, you know?
00:42:39.950 --> 00:42:40.910
Absolutely.
00:42:41.230 --> 00:42:42.269
What were you gonna say on that?
00:42:42.349 --> 00:42:42.829
The five times.
00:42:43.150 --> 00:42:44.190
I was gonna say the exact same thing.
00:42:44.269 --> 00:42:48.910
You're the average of the five people you spend the most time with in terms of your positive.
00:42:49.789 --> 00:42:51.550
So you owe it to yourself.
00:42:52.510 --> 00:42:57.389
With family, you can't really say to your sister, look, you know, we talk a lot.
00:42:57.550 --> 00:42:58.829
You're really, really negative.
00:42:58.990 --> 00:43:01.389
If you don't take a course, I'm gonna stop talking.
00:43:01.630 --> 00:43:06.190
But you can certainly talk to her twice a week instead of three times a week.
00:43:06.910 --> 00:43:09.869
If it's your mother, if it's your mother, you have a real problem.
00:43:11.389 --> 00:43:17.789
If your mother's really, really, really negative, you're gonna stop talking to her, she's gonna get upset.
00:43:18.750 --> 00:43:21.710
You just gotta convince her to take the course with you.
00:43:22.030 --> 00:43:23.230
Yeah, good luck.
00:43:23.950 --> 00:43:25.789
Can't tell your mother what to do.
00:43:26.430 --> 00:43:28.590
It's not telling her, it's suggesting.
00:43:28.829 --> 00:43:31.470
Well, I can't teach an old dog new tricks, trust me.
00:43:31.630 --> 00:43:33.950
My mother's 86, my dad's 90.
00:43:34.990 --> 00:43:35.950
Exactly.
00:43:37.070 --> 00:43:38.110
Well, you try.
00:43:38.670 --> 00:43:44.190
If I told my mother that she needs to take a positivity course, she would go ballistic.
00:43:45.230 --> 00:43:46.590
And she's very negative.
00:43:47.070 --> 00:43:51.869
Not that she needs to, just that you suggest that she takes this.
00:43:52.190 --> 00:43:53.710
She would be so offensive.
00:43:55.389 --> 00:43:55.789
I don't know.
00:43:55.950 --> 00:43:57.309
What about your mother?
00:43:58.190 --> 00:44:03.950
Probably, but that's also why I'm saying that you don't say need, you would suggest it.
00:44:04.190 --> 00:44:07.150
I suggest we take this course together.
00:44:07.789 --> 00:44:09.470
Well, that's maybe that's what works.
00:44:09.630 --> 00:44:09.950
I don't know.
00:44:10.110 --> 00:44:12.990
My mother's too old to hear to accept that.
00:44:14.110 --> 00:44:16.510
Your mother's a lot younger than my mother.
00:44:17.230 --> 00:44:20.750
She is, but still have the next thing which is important, most
00:44:21.470 --> 00:44:24.990
I say the most important thing is learning to be easier on yourself.
00:44:25.470 --> 00:44:32.829
But studies in college, what most people will say, it's having close relationships with family and friends.
00:44:33.150 --> 00:44:37.470
Those are the things that are going to be the most important to making you happy.
00:44:38.829 --> 00:44:47.950
Certainly, family is important because it's nice to get along with your family, your brother, sister, and your parents.
00:44:48.190 --> 00:44:55.550
And I encourage people who say, I don't speak to my parents because if something happened 20 years ago to realize they're going to die.
00:44:55.869 --> 00:44:58.190
And it's silly to hold it grudging.
00:44:59.630 --> 00:45:00.590
Friends are great.
00:45:00.670 --> 00:45:02.349
They can make life so much sweeter.
00:45:02.670 --> 00:45:04.190
I had a 60 birthday.
00:45:04.269 --> 00:45:06.349
I had 18 people come, all my friends.
00:45:06.430 --> 00:45:07.550
It was wonderful.
00:45:08.030 --> 00:45:11.230
And also, they're there for you when something bad happens.
00:45:11.470 --> 00:45:12.910
My father's had cancer.
00:45:13.070 --> 00:45:13.869
He's 90.
00:45:14.030 --> 00:45:16.030
I don't know how much longer he'll be here.
00:45:16.190 --> 00:45:23.230
And I know that when he passes, I'll have the support, certainly of my wife and my son, but I'll also have friends to help me through it.
00:45:23.470 --> 00:45:25.150
So that's really important.
00:45:26.110 --> 00:45:32.829
I watched a show once with a Vietnam vet, and they said, what was the hardest thing in captivity?
00:45:32.990 --> 00:45:37.230
And he said it wasn't the lack of food and it wasn't the beatings.
00:45:37.389 --> 00:45:42.829
He said it was the inability to communicate with another human being for all those years.
00:45:43.230 --> 00:45:50.910
So we are creatures on this planet that need the human touch of other people.
00:45:52.349 --> 00:45:53.150
That's true.
00:45:53.389 --> 00:45:57.470
The other thing is we need to realize how much we can affect people.
00:45:57.789 --> 00:46:04.750
There was a story, Amanda, about a teenager who tried to kill himself.
00:46:04.990 --> 00:46:10.190
And he didn't kill himself, but he fell off the bridge and broke most of his bones in his body.
00:46:10.269 --> 00:46:12.269
And they said, Why did you do it?
00:46:12.670 --> 00:46:19.230
And he said, Well, you know, I really wanted to kill myself, but I felt bad about how it would affect my family.
00:46:19.470 --> 00:46:22.030
So I decided to go on a bus one day.
00:46:22.190 --> 00:46:25.389
And if the bus driver was nice to me, I wouldn't kill myself.
00:46:25.470 --> 00:46:27.070
And if he was mean, I would.
00:46:27.230 --> 00:46:28.750
And I said, Well, what happened?
00:46:28.990 --> 00:46:36.349
And he said, Well, I decided to get to the end of the bus, the front of the bus, and just stand there for a little while and see what the bus driver would say.
00:46:36.510 --> 00:46:39.630
And the bus driver said, Kid, get off the damn bus.
00:46:39.789 --> 00:46:41.550
And that's why I tried to kill myself.
00:46:41.710 --> 00:46:48.190
So we can affect people in a very, very significant way when we don't realize the way we speak to them.
00:46:49.630 --> 00:46:50.269
Wow.
00:46:50.670 --> 00:46:52.430
I got shows hearing that.
00:46:52.750 --> 00:46:53.070
Yeah.
00:46:53.309 --> 00:46:56.750
We need to be careful how we we say things to people.
00:46:58.030 --> 00:47:01.710
We never know what anybody's dealing with internally.
00:47:02.110 --> 00:47:02.829
Exactly.
00:47:03.070 --> 00:47:06.590
And that brings me to my next step, which is being friendly.
00:47:06.750 --> 00:47:08.590
And that's like a secret in your tool.
00:47:08.670 --> 00:47:10.829
Let's say you're having a bad week.
00:47:11.389 --> 00:47:15.789
If you just go to the market and you start being friendly to people, it makes you feel better.
00:47:15.950 --> 00:47:25.630
But it has a ripple effect because now you're nice to one person and he's nice to another person, and eventually he gets home and it's the first night of the week he's not fighting with his wife.
00:47:25.869 --> 00:47:29.070
And now the kids get to have a more relaxing evening.
00:47:29.309 --> 00:47:35.309
We need to realize that everybody is symbolically carrying a heavy load on their back.
00:47:36.430 --> 00:47:39.710
One person may have just found out his kid has cancer.
00:47:40.030 --> 00:47:45.070
One person may have just found out that they lost their job and they don't know how they're going to pay their bills.
00:47:45.230 --> 00:47:47.150
So everybody has a sack.
00:47:47.309 --> 00:47:50.750
And I want you to be like a lamp lighter, it just lights people up.
00:47:51.309 --> 00:47:53.309
And some people say I'm an introvert.
00:47:53.470 --> 00:47:54.750
I couldn't do that.
00:47:55.630 --> 00:48:00.349
And we say what you should do is you should pretend you're your favorite comedian.
00:48:00.510 --> 00:48:02.590
Who's your favorite comedian, Amanda?
00:48:03.950 --> 00:48:05.230
I like Steve Harvey.
00:48:05.630 --> 00:48:12.750
So let's say that you say, Todd, I could never go to the market and just say to people, my God, I how you doing today?
00:48:12.990 --> 00:48:14.910
Boy, I love your fingernails.
00:48:14.990 --> 00:48:15.550
They look so good.
00:48:15.630 --> 00:48:16.990
Where did you get your nails ducked?
00:48:17.070 --> 00:48:19.389
And you say to me, Todd, I could never do that.
00:48:19.550 --> 00:48:22.030
Well, I'd say, Amanda, could Steve Harvey do it?
00:48:22.190 --> 00:48:24.269
And you'd say, Of course, Steve Harvey could do it.
00:48:24.349 --> 00:48:25.070
He could do anything.
00:48:25.150 --> 00:48:28.349
Then I want you to pretend you're Steve Harvey for a day.
00:48:29.389 --> 00:48:31.389
So that's being friendly.
00:48:32.349 --> 00:48:36.030
The next one is giving, being a giver.
00:48:36.269 --> 00:48:42.829
Givers are actually 40% healthier and 25% happier than people who don't give.
00:48:42.990 --> 00:48:46.110
And it doesn't have to be money, it can be just your time.
00:48:46.510 --> 00:48:56.349
Making a difference in other people's worlds, going to the market, putting groceries in an old lady's car, doing whatever you can to help people in the world.
00:48:56.750 --> 00:48:59.789
Tremendous effect on your body and your happiness.
00:49:00.990 --> 00:49:07.389
The next one is seeing in life that there's more to you than just yourself.
00:49:07.630 --> 00:49:09.789
We talk about finding a higher power.
00:49:09.869 --> 00:49:19.950
It doesn't have to be religion, but just realizing that we're all in this together and that there's something out there if you're going through a difficult time.
00:49:20.590 --> 00:49:25.070
And the last one, which I think is a really important one, is being grateful.
00:49:26.190 --> 00:49:30.269
So many of us feel like, you know, we got the wrong end of the stick.
00:49:30.670 --> 00:49:42.990
But you are really envious of the guy next door who has a brand new Mercedes, but you didn't realize that him and his wife have been trying to have a baby for four years and nothing's working.
00:49:43.150 --> 00:49:46.829
And he would buy you five Mercedes if you could just have one child.
00:49:47.070 --> 00:49:52.190
So we think other people have everything and we have nothing.
00:49:52.750 --> 00:49:58.670
And we need to realize that you can always look to the left and find people who have more than you.
00:49:58.910 --> 00:50:03.070
Or you can look to the right and find people who have less than you.
00:50:03.309 --> 00:50:08.110
And what do you think makes you happier if you look to the right and realize how much you have?
00:50:08.349 --> 00:50:10.590
So that's the 12-week process.
00:50:10.829 --> 00:50:12.269
None of them are easy.
00:50:12.510 --> 00:50:15.389
They're all changing the way that you view things.
00:50:15.710 --> 00:50:21.869
But if you're able to make changes, even six out of the 12 or 7 of the 12, it's going to make you a much happier person.
00:50:23.309 --> 00:50:26.110
You mentioned at one point, like week, whatever.
00:50:26.269 --> 00:50:29.550
So are these done in a week-by-week basis?
00:50:29.710 --> 00:50:30.910
So for like 12 weeks.
00:50:31.309 --> 00:50:31.869
Very important.
00:50:32.030 --> 00:50:33.150
You don't screw them up.
00:50:33.230 --> 00:50:35.470
You do the right one first and then second.
00:50:36.269 --> 00:50:41.070
And if you want to be part of my course, you go to my website and you take the course.
00:50:41.309 --> 00:50:50.990
It's a course that includes my book, which is usually$25, my workbook, which is usually 15, and all my videos as well.
00:50:51.150 --> 00:50:52.990
And it's all for just$27.
00:50:54.910 --> 00:50:58.829
And now is this a course they can take like at home vocally?
00:50:59.230 --> 00:51:00.269
It's all on video.
00:51:00.510 --> 00:51:01.789
It's through Udemy.
00:51:01.869 --> 00:51:06.750
I don't know if you've heard of it, but Udemy's a college online with thousands of courses.
00:51:07.070 --> 00:51:08.670
That's nice and convenient.
00:51:08.990 --> 00:51:13.630
It's basically the exact same thing you and I just went through, but it's more in-depth.
00:51:13.789 --> 00:51:19.070
So you and I went over the first one, which is physical working out.
00:51:19.230 --> 00:51:21.950
And I probably did it with you at 30 seconds.
00:51:22.110 --> 00:51:23.950
This one would be four minutes.
00:51:25.150 --> 00:51:29.150
Each one of the five steps would be about four minutes.
00:51:29.309 --> 00:51:32.269
Whereas I blew through these a lot faster than you.
00:51:33.389 --> 00:51:36.430
Plus, you get the book that I told you, which is one awards.
00:51:37.150 --> 00:51:38.910
And you have the workbook.
00:51:39.710 --> 00:51:43.950
And now is the woke book a woke book off of your book?
00:51:44.670 --> 00:51:51.070
The workbook is separate from it, but it really is a separate book.
00:51:52.030 --> 00:51:59.309
If somebody wants the real book, which I think is great, and they want actually have it in their hands, they can go to Amazon and get it.
00:52:00.030 --> 00:52:20.349
Now, transitioning a tad bit, I ask most guests this, and I'm very curious what you would say yours is, but most people have had what they consider an aha moment or multiple aha moments where something in their life shifted and they look at the world differently.
00:52:20.670 --> 00:52:23.470
What would you say has been your biggest aha moment?
00:52:23.710 --> 00:52:24.990
Well, it was definitely the breakdown.
00:52:25.070 --> 00:52:28.269
It doesn't sound like an a-hour moment.
00:52:28.349 --> 00:52:29.710
It sounds like an oo moment.
00:52:30.030 --> 00:52:31.389
It shifted my whole life.
00:52:31.630 --> 00:52:43.230
Being a guy that was perfectionist, that was always running on empty, wasn't as focused on the family as much as he should have been, and then having the terrible breakdown and changing everything.
00:52:43.710 --> 00:52:45.309
So that was my a home moment.
00:52:46.510 --> 00:52:53.070
So how would you say overall you looked at the world differently from before that to after that?
00:52:53.630 --> 00:52:55.950
Before that, it was I was all ego.
00:52:56.190 --> 00:52:57.710
My whole life was ego.
00:52:57.789 --> 00:52:59.630
And I was tremendously successful.
00:52:59.789 --> 00:53:04.910
In fact, I'd say I was probably as successful as anyone at age 40.
00:53:05.070 --> 00:53:07.710
I built a hundred million dollar business.
00:53:07.950 --> 00:53:10.269
I grew it 20% every year.
00:53:10.590 --> 00:53:12.430
My people, I think, loved me.
00:53:12.590 --> 00:53:13.230
I loved them.
00:53:13.389 --> 00:53:19.070
I taught them how to be better people, how to be better husbands, sons and daughters.
00:53:19.389 --> 00:53:20.349
All ego.
00:53:20.510 --> 00:53:23.710
Jumping off tables, acting like Tony Robbins.
00:53:24.190 --> 00:53:26.750
After that, I there's no ego.
00:53:26.829 --> 00:53:27.789
It's just love.
00:53:28.910 --> 00:53:31.630
So you're not jumping off tables anymore?
00:53:31.950 --> 00:53:33.470
No, I don't need to do that.
00:53:33.710 --> 00:53:36.110
I mean, I still go to the gym and get fired up.
00:53:36.430 --> 00:53:37.710
That's, you know.
00:53:37.950 --> 00:53:39.710
No, I'm completely different.
00:53:39.950 --> 00:53:41.869
I would tell people how great I was.
00:53:42.030 --> 00:53:43.070
I was a superman.
00:53:43.230 --> 00:53:44.510
I could do anything in the old days.
00:53:44.590 --> 00:53:46.190
I certainly don't do that now.
00:53:47.470 --> 00:53:49.710
So do you not think you could do anything?
00:53:50.349 --> 00:53:57.389
Well, I think I can be successful, but I don't think I'm you know better than other people in terms of being successful.
00:53:58.349 --> 00:54:04.990
My definition of happiness is just learning to love yourself because of who you are, just the fact that you're here.
00:54:05.869 --> 00:54:07.550
You don't have to succeed.
00:54:07.869 --> 00:54:11.630
Most people feel like they have to succeed to be okay with themselves.
00:54:12.990 --> 00:54:14.829
Most people run away from feelings.
00:54:14.910 --> 00:54:16.349
That's why they work all the time.
00:54:17.550 --> 00:54:22.750
They don't have to just sit five or ten minutes by themselves and say, What could I improve on?
00:54:23.869 --> 00:54:26.190
No, you say you don't have to succeed.
00:54:26.510 --> 00:54:27.630
Why do you say that?
00:54:28.110 --> 00:54:31.150
Maybe because I had so much success before.
00:54:31.710 --> 00:54:35.950
But at this point in my life, I'm not doing that much.
00:54:36.110 --> 00:54:38.590
I don't feel like I have to succeed.
00:54:38.670 --> 00:54:40.910
I don't feel like I have to do anything.
00:54:41.150 --> 00:54:42.990
I'm just good with myself.
00:54:43.070 --> 00:54:45.470
Now, you said, what do I kind of consider myself?
00:54:45.550 --> 00:54:52.750
I kind of consider myself someone who's hanging out and just waiting for people to come to them and need them.
00:54:52.910 --> 00:54:56.349
Like my greatest satisfaction now is when people are broken.
00:54:56.750 --> 00:55:00.110
And all my friends and family know that they should come to me.
00:55:00.269 --> 00:55:06.510
And I get them to my favorite psychopharmacologist, and he saves them within three weeks with the right pills.
00:55:06.670 --> 00:55:10.670
So they're broken, they want to kill themselves, and because they came to me, we save them.
00:55:11.550 --> 00:55:13.470
That makes me feel great.
00:55:14.110 --> 00:55:15.710
That's beautiful, Todd.
00:55:17.070 --> 00:55:17.470
Thank you.
00:55:18.030 --> 00:55:20.349
I really enjoyed speaking with you.
00:55:20.750 --> 00:55:22.349
I had a song too.
00:55:22.590 --> 00:55:22.750
No.
00:55:25.150 --> 00:55:26.269
I'm sure it will.
00:55:26.510 --> 00:55:27.309
I'm curious.
00:55:27.550 --> 00:55:30.510
Have you heard of a man named Jay Shetty?
00:55:31.070 --> 00:55:31.550
Yes.
00:55:31.869 --> 00:55:33.869
A lot of people tell me he's amazed.
00:55:34.430 --> 00:55:40.030
He's got a podcast called On Purpose, and he ends it with two segments.
00:55:40.349 --> 00:55:46.910
And I've borrowed those two segments, and I end my podcast with those two.
00:55:47.230 --> 00:55:55.309
The first segment is the many sides to us, and there's five questions, and they need to be answered in one word each.
00:55:55.630 --> 00:56:01.869
What is one word someone who is meeting you for the first time would use to describe you as?
00:56:03.389 --> 00:56:03.710
Karen.
00:56:05.550 --> 00:56:13.150
What is one word someone who knows you well would use to describe you as loyal?
00:56:14.510 --> 00:56:17.950
What is one word you'd use to describe yourself?
00:56:19.389 --> 00:56:20.590
Really love it.
00:56:22.030 --> 00:56:30.590
What is one word that if someone didn't like you or agree with your mindset would use to describe you as difficult?
00:56:32.349 --> 00:56:36.030
What is one word you're trying to embody right now?
00:56:37.630 --> 00:56:38.349
Love it.
00:56:39.869 --> 00:56:44.349
Second segment is the final five, and these can be answered in a sentence.
00:56:44.990 --> 00:56:48.829
What is the best advice you've heard or received?
00:56:50.110 --> 00:56:51.630
Just be yourself.
00:56:52.910 --> 00:56:54.430
Why is that the best?
00:56:55.950 --> 00:56:59.150
I think so many people are trying to be other people.
00:56:59.470 --> 00:57:02.829
They're chasing, you know, I want to be like him, I want to be like her.
00:57:02.990 --> 00:57:04.829
I just want you to be okay with who you are.
00:57:05.070 --> 00:57:06.430
Just be yourself.
00:57:07.309 --> 00:57:14.269
As you and I talked about, we all have different things that we're best at and things that we love to do the most.
00:57:15.309 --> 00:57:17.710
That's what you should be doing, just be you.
00:57:19.150 --> 00:57:20.430
I agree with that.
00:57:21.070 --> 00:57:24.670
What is the worst advice you've heard or received?
00:57:25.950 --> 00:57:29.150
I think it probably has to do with cheating and stealing.
00:57:29.309 --> 00:57:36.590
You know, people who feel like it's okay to cheat somebody if you get enough money from it and being dishonest.
00:57:36.829 --> 00:57:46.430
Sorry, I don't know that they someone actually said be dishonest, but I if you said what do I feel is one of the biggest problems in the world is dishonesty.
00:57:47.710 --> 00:57:52.030
What is something that you used to value that you no longer value?
00:57:53.309 --> 00:57:55.070
I guess it would be ego.
00:57:56.269 --> 00:57:57.789
I was all ego, Amanda.
00:57:58.269 --> 00:57:59.230
All ego.
00:57:59.470 --> 00:58:00.990
I was so successful.
00:58:01.150 --> 00:58:03.869
And it just doesn't matter to me anymore at all.
00:58:04.349 --> 00:58:08.430
Was it the breakdown that was the biggest thing that got rid of your ego?
00:58:08.670 --> 00:58:08.990
Ego.
00:58:10.910 --> 00:58:11.550
Yeah.
00:58:12.190 --> 00:58:19.550
If you could describe what you would want your legacy to be, as if someone was reading it, what would you want it to say?
00:58:20.990 --> 00:58:23.950
Todd was a really loving and caring person.
00:58:25.710 --> 00:58:32.030
If you could create one law in the world that everyone had to follow, what would it be?
00:58:32.190 --> 00:58:33.789
And I want to know why.
00:58:34.110 --> 00:58:41.070
It would be learning to love yourself just because you're here.
00:58:41.550 --> 00:58:45.470
And it's because people don't love themselves just because they were born.
00:58:45.789 --> 00:58:48.910
Tony Robbins has a fun thing he says.
00:58:49.230 --> 00:58:51.470
He says, You won.
00:58:51.630 --> 00:58:52.750
You already won.
00:58:53.550 --> 00:58:58.750
You are the one one millionth sperm that made it to the end.
00:58:59.070 --> 00:58:59.789
You won.
00:59:00.030 --> 00:59:01.789
So why aren't you enjoying your life?
00:59:01.950 --> 00:59:03.070
You already won.
00:59:03.550 --> 00:59:05.789
But most of us don't enjoy our life.
00:59:05.950 --> 00:59:07.470
Most people are unhappy.
00:59:07.630 --> 00:59:09.150
My wife's from Venezuela.
00:59:09.230 --> 00:59:10.190
It's a different culture.
00:59:10.269 --> 00:59:12.110
She's the happiest person I know.
00:59:12.430 --> 00:59:13.869
Lots of family.
00:59:14.190 --> 00:59:18.190
Here, just everybody's striving to be better.
00:59:18.349 --> 00:59:20.349
Nobody's satisfied with where they are.
00:59:20.510 --> 00:59:23.550
They're all wishes they were, you know, somebody else.
00:59:23.710 --> 00:59:28.590
The worst thing in the world is the telephone now and uh looking at social media.
00:59:28.829 --> 00:59:30.349
People are so unhappy now.
00:59:30.510 --> 00:59:35.550
Girls age 10 to 17, it's the highest rate of suicide right now in America.
00:59:35.789 --> 00:59:44.590
They look and see all girls who are prettier than them, more than them, and they want to kill themselves because they haven't built up their self-esteem yet.
00:59:45.150 --> 00:59:49.309
People, as they talk to you about being grateful, they're not grateful for what they have.
00:59:50.030 --> 00:59:53.710
We have more, even if you don't have money in this country.
00:59:53.789 --> 00:59:58.030
Now, I'm not saying if you're destitute, but let's say you're lower middle class.
00:59:58.269 --> 01:00:05.630
So you don't have the beautiful car, you don't have the beautiful house, you're still richer than everyone who came before you.
01:00:06.110 --> 01:00:11.470
Going all the way back to Roman times, millions and millions and billions of people.
01:00:11.630 --> 01:00:16.030
We have more, we have electricity, we have in-house plumbing.
01:00:16.349 --> 01:00:20.670
You realize how lucky we are not to have to go outside to go to the bathroom?
01:00:20.829 --> 01:00:23.470
That's only been the last 120 years.
01:00:23.710 --> 01:00:26.750
So we have so much, but we don't appreciate it.
01:00:27.230 --> 01:00:34.590
We have a library that has all of the information that you could possibly have, but because it's free, nobody goes.
01:00:34.750 --> 01:00:36.750
Nobody appreciates anything.
01:00:37.630 --> 01:00:41.550
So I just want you to just don't feel like you always have to achieve.
01:00:41.710 --> 01:00:43.550
Don't feel like you're never good enough.
01:00:43.710 --> 01:00:45.470
Just be you're a good person.
01:00:45.550 --> 01:00:46.590
We're all good people.
01:00:46.670 --> 01:00:48.590
Just be happy with who you are.
01:00:49.470 --> 01:00:50.190
I agree.
01:00:50.349 --> 01:01:00.110
I love that Tony Robbins quote about you being Yeah, it made me chuckle, but you already won at something, if you want to look at it like that.
01:01:00.269 --> 01:01:01.950
While trying to win something.
01:01:02.349 --> 01:01:05.150
If you like Jay Shetty, you should check out Tony Robbins.
01:01:05.389 --> 01:01:08.430
Just get one of his you know audios and listen to it.
01:01:08.750 --> 01:01:10.190
I've heard a little bit by him.
01:01:10.269 --> 01:01:14.030
I've heard a little bit by him, but I I love that quote.
01:01:14.510 --> 01:01:14.829
Okay.
01:01:15.309 --> 01:01:17.550
There's a lot of sperm that didn't survive, you know?
01:01:17.630 --> 01:01:22.510
So it's something to be like, if you're striving for that winning, like you won.
01:01:22.670 --> 01:01:23.309
You won that way.
01:01:23.789 --> 01:01:26.510
There was a million sperm in that orgasm.
01:01:26.590 --> 01:01:31.150
So the one person, one sperm that made it to the egg.
01:01:31.550 --> 01:01:33.869
I like that different type of perspective.
01:01:34.110 --> 01:01:35.309
Great, great.
01:01:35.630 --> 01:01:36.990
Thank you so much, Todd.
01:01:37.070 --> 01:01:38.430
I really appreciate this.
01:01:38.750 --> 01:01:44.030
Let me just tell people my website if I could, because if they go there, they can take the course.
01:01:44.269 --> 01:01:47.150
So it's toddpatkin.com.
01:01:47.869 --> 01:01:53.309
T O D D P A T A.com.
01:01:53.710 --> 01:01:55.630
Todpatkin.com.
01:01:56.030 --> 01:01:58.590
There's so many things in the website that you can check out.
01:01:58.670 --> 01:02:03.550
But if you do want to take the course, it's only$27 and you get everything.
01:02:03.789 --> 01:02:14.750
If you just want to buy my book and you know, have it, if you like to read and actually have it in your hand, then you can go to Amazon and it's$25.99.
01:02:16.110 --> 01:02:16.670
Awesome.
01:02:16.829 --> 01:02:21.789
I will link both of those in the show notes for people to click directly.
01:02:22.030 --> 01:02:24.349
I do just like to give it back to the guest.
01:02:24.670 --> 01:02:30.430
Any final words of wisdom, anything else you want to share with the listeners?
01:02:31.630 --> 01:02:32.590
No pressure.
01:02:32.990 --> 01:02:39.470
If you're feeling down, exercise is the quickest way you can go to feeling better.
01:02:39.630 --> 01:02:43.309
So if you're a couch potato, just walk around the block.
01:02:43.550 --> 01:02:47.630
Don't do too much in terms of exercise that you'll do it once.
01:02:47.869 --> 01:02:52.110
You'll, you know, try to lift too much and you'll never do it again because you hurt your muscles.
01:02:52.349 --> 01:02:54.990
That's the number one thing you can do.
01:02:55.470 --> 01:02:58.269
Next, please be kinder to yourself.
01:02:58.750 --> 01:03:01.710
Your brain and you can be your own worst enemy.
01:03:01.869 --> 01:03:04.110
Somehow you need to snap out of that.
01:03:04.269 --> 01:03:07.230
And I want you just to love yourself just because you're here.
01:03:07.309 --> 01:03:09.309
You don't always have to be achieving.
01:03:09.470 --> 01:03:12.910
You don't always have to be the perfect mother, the perfect father.
01:03:13.150 --> 01:03:15.869
You don't always have to win all the awards.
01:03:17.150 --> 01:03:18.990
I completely agree, Todd.
01:03:19.150 --> 01:03:20.750
Well, thank you so much again.
01:03:21.070 --> 01:03:21.869
Thanks, Amanda.
01:03:21.950 --> 01:03:22.590
I really enjoyed it.
01:03:23.070 --> 01:03:23.550
Absolutely.
01:03:23.630 --> 01:03:28.110
And thank you guys for tuning in to another episode of Meander's Mindset.
01:03:36.590 --> 01:03:40.349
In case no one told you today, I'm proud of you.
01:03:40.590 --> 01:03:42.190
I'm booting for you.
01:03:42.430 --> 01:03:43.710
And you got this.
01:03:44.750 --> 01:03:56.349
As always, if you enjoyed the show, I would really appreciate it if you would leave me a five-star rating, leave a review, and share it with anyone you think would benefit from that.
01:03:56.910 --> 01:04:03.230
And don't forget, you are only one mindset shift away from shifting your life.
01:04:03.470 --> 01:04:05.950
Thanks guys, until next time.