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Hello everyone, thank you for being a part of the
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Lovelike Crazy Podcast. Today, we've actually done something a little
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bit different today. We just wanted to be candid today
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and really open and honest with you, and so we've
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kind of changed things up. You guys see us all
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oftentimes interview other people and hear their side of the story,
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their conversation, and so today we actually I was able
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to sit down with our producer, Carlo Carlos Flores from
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High Hello Labs, and Carlos asked me some questions. He
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interviewed me. You're going to see Stacy in another episode
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as he interviews her and asks her different questions, and
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we just shared her heart. We were just open and
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honest about these different questions that he asked and it
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was pretty refreshing. It was a lot of fun to
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be able to do that. And before we get into
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this interview, I want to thank you guys for being
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a part of this podcast. The response that you've given
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us has been wonderful, and so I would encourage you
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to continue. If you are enjoying this to like, hit
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that little like button. If you're watching on YouTube, hit
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that subscribe button, because what that does It alerts you
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to upcoming episodes and things that can build your marriage
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and your family in a stronger way. So thank you
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for helping us to push this podcast forward. It's been
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so much fun watching all the things that the Lord
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has done. So let's jump into this interview together. Hello, Jenny,
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Hey Carlos, thank you for.
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Allowing me to sit down and ask a few questions.
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I know it's pretty weird because I'm on the other
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side of the other side.
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It's a different type of episode of love like crazy,
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and usually you're behind the scenes and it's like people
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here is reference Carlos, but you know, to have you
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here sitting with me and you and Carolyn have been
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a guest on the podcast before, but this is different
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and I'm glad we're doing this.
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As we've gone through quite a few years now with
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the pod, you know, there's been a lot of questions
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and a lot of trying to understand more who Jay
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and Stac are as not just pastors, but a marriage,
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a couple, parents now grandparents. So what would you say
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as a man is one of the things that has
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really challenged you to be able to balance out marriage,
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being a grandparent, being a parent, But also being the
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head of a pretty successful church.
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Well, I think that learning to manage your time appropriately,
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you know, it's kind of one of the things that
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I have the tendency of pouring myself into ministry one
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hundred percent of because I you know, you've in past
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episodes you've heard my wife talk about her dad was
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a workaholic. I have the tendency because of the work
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ethic that was instilled in me by my dad. I
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love to give of myself one hundred percent to a
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project to build the church, and I know it's all
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for the Lord. We're building this thing for him. It's
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not for Jay's glory, It's for the Lord's glory. But
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to find to strike a balance that is healthy to
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where I am making sure that I'm doing the responsibilities
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of what God has called me to, but I'm also
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trying I'm pouring time into my marriage. I'm building my wife,
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I'm building my kids, my family and now my grandkids.
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And I realize now as I've gotten a little bit older,
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I'm better at balancing that. Whenever I was young, you know,
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it was nothing to work, you know, forty sixty eighty hours.
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I know people hear that like you know, like what
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you know work in ministry, that that long of a
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period of time. But when we were under instruction, we
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went through a year long period of I didn't take
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any days off and would work Monday through Friday is
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the general contractor on the project, from six am till
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six in the evening. Then Saturday was sermon prep day.
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We were meeting in a school, had to go, you know,
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set up the church. Sunday you preach, and there were
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some counseling sessions on Sundays as well. Then Monday right
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back at it's a seven days a week. I remember
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I took Christmas Day off I think Christmas Eve as well,
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but we were steady back on it. We didn't take
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a vacation or anything. And it was one of those
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seasons in life that we recognized was really really hard,
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really difficult. But I was doing this for the Lord,
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pouring myself into it. But I came to the place
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where I realized that ain't healthy. That is not healthy
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for me or my wife or my kids. And what
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good does it do to build this church for the Lord?
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If you're you know, you flame out or you know,
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you pay the price for your mental health.
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Did you realize it wasn't healthy because something happened, or
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did you just clicked One.
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Day, Well, I had a little health scare. It was
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probably about a month before we launched the church. I
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had gone to a pastor's breakfast and there's a group
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of us progressive pastors. We get together monthly. There's usually
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anywhere from eight to twelve of us that gather and
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it's a great I look forward to it every month.
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And that day, in particular, it was at a church
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called Victory Harvest over on Flannery Drive, which was only
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about probably five miles from where our church our church is,
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And as we're leaving out of that breakfast, all of
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a sudden, I get hit with a dizzy spell. And
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I make it to my truck and I've never had vertigo.
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I've heard verdigo before, but not like that. And I'm like, well,
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I'll be okay. Well, I pull out on the highway
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and I can't drive. I'm about to pass out. And
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I pull into this parking lot of this businesses Sex
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to the church, and I start thinking, am I having
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a stroke? What's going on? And I staggered. I literally
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fall through the door of that business freak all everybody
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out the receptionist and they want to do we need
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to call an anulyst. I know, just just call my
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wife and uh.
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Just so happens.
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There was a guy working there who came to the
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church and he volunteered. He said, I'll take you to
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the church. So he drove me to the church. We
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wind up going to the doctor's office. They did ekg's.
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They ran all these different tests and it was nothing
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other than my blood pressure that they had put me
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on blood pressure meds during the during the construction of
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the church, but my blood pressure went sky high and
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it caused that episode. And so the doctor told me,
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he said, you know, they adjusted my medication. But that
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little scare kind of made me realize, like, you know what,
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this is not worth. You know, I'll give my life
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or the cause of Christ, but I'm not going to
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work myself into a grave because my family, my wife,
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they need me here and the church needs me here
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as well.
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So that kind of taught me.
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And there's the ebb and flow that we go through
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season station and I we communicate about this, Hey, we're
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going into a season and ministry now it's extremely busy,
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so we know we're gonna pour everything into this. We're
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gonna work hard, but then when their season comes to rest,
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we're gonna rest. Well.
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A lot of people don't know this, but you have
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multiple jobs. You're not just a pastor.
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I think when it comes to pastors, everyone thinks like, oh,
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they need to be there twenty four to seven, you know,
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helping out, doing this, doing that. When you're called to
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do this or a funeral or a wedding, you have
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to be there. And sometimes how do you split yourself
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up to so many needs?
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I hate to tell people know, you know, when they're
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going through that time of grieving and hurting, I want
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to be able to be there for them. So that's
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been a difficult one for me to be able to,
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you know, have to look at something and say, well,
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I'm going to be out of town on this time,
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or you know, when you're dealing with budgeting or you're
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dealing with things that just pop up or hospital visits.
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The greatest thing for me has been able to, you know,
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over the years, we've been able to build a good
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team and we've had different staff members that we've been
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able to hire.
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And at first I was kind of like, well.
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I got this, I can handle this, and I would
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not release things to them.
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But over the course of.
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Time, and honestly, as I've matured and grown up a
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little bit, I realized that maybe my way is not
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the best way, and maybe this person can handle this
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a little bit better than me, or their personality is
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a little bit better match for this. And so I've
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allowed these different individuals to step in and help with ministry,
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and I've learned the value of handing things off right.
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You know, I think a lot of times we talk
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about delegating things off to other people, and I kind
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of looked at that unfortunately as a way like I'm
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pushing my response abilities off on other people. But you
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get a lot more accomplished when you work together as
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a team. And it's not necessarily pushing my responsibilities off
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on other people. It's allowing them to participate and be
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a part of what God's called all of.
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Us to do.
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Totally makes sense now, as you you know, exercise your
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leadership at church, you exercise your leadership at home. Has
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there any can you pinpoint any sort of situation where
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you're like, man, I remember this happened and I had
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to say no, and it hurt me to say no,
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but it had to be done, whether it was a
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game for one of the boys or whether it.
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Was disappointing a church member.
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Well, I know one of the things that we had
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pop up was the boys played sports in high school.
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That was back in the season when we were doing
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Wednesday night services, and Stacey and I would always make
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sure that like when Tyler played, he was playing football
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and he we had games on Wednesday nights, I was
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teaching on Wednesday nights. And at that point we really
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didn't have a very large staff. We didn't really have
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ones who could accommodate a service, and so, you know,
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but what we made sure that we would do is
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either I would teach or Stacey would teach, but one
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of us was always at his game, and because we
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wanted him to see us in the stands. You know,
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we didn't we didn't travel much with them, but if
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there were home games, we were all one of us
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was always in the stands. I know, for me, there
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was something that popped up that was very, very personal.
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It was the second Easter. I think it was the
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second Easter or that we had launched as a church,
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might have been the first Easter, and I had a
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very very close friend that suddenly passed away. We had
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an entire week lined up of serving in the community.
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We used to do what we called the Great a Hunt,
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you know, one hundred thousand candy stuffed Easter eggs. We'd
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actually expanded that to two locations. I mean, it was
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just a massive under taking. We would have anywhere from
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five to ten thousand people show up for this Easter
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a Hunt, so it was a massive ordeal. And on
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top of that, leading up to that, we would do
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surf projects, feeding the school faculty at all these different
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schools in the community, picking up trash out of the ditches.
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You just serve things, surf projects in the community. Well,
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my friend passed away. If memory sergon correctly, it was
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a Sunday night. I get to call at eleven o'clock
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at night, jumping my vehicle, drive an iron fifteen minutes
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to laugh yet and I'm there with his wife and.
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Family and then get back in my vehicle.
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Made it back to Baton Rouge about six o'clock in
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the morning, and I remember just sitting in my office
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closing that I didn't wan anybody coming in, but I could.
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Hear there were people showing up already.
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Because they were getting ready to start cooking, prepping for
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all these SERF projects.
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And I didn't.
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Really want to talk to anybody, didn't really want to
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be around anybody, just sitting in my office and sobbing
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because I had lost such a close friend.
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And the cool part.
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Was those were all projects that I had to say
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yes to that week. I have to be there, I've
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got to serve, I've got to do all these things.
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But our serve team, the cooking team, all these different
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ones that were involved in this, they were the ones
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who stepped up and they said, you know what, you
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don't need.
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We got this. We got this.
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And because of the culture that we had built, because
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of ones with such a heart to serve, my wife
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and I were able to take a step back and
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attend to the funeral services that we go be with
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the family that week grieve because all of our boys
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had lost one that they felt that, you know, it
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was like a grandpa to them, And it was because
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it was one of the.
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Things that.
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I probably you know, that pressing on me of you've
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got to do this, You've got to be there and
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do all these projects. But really like Hey, I've got
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something that's even more important to attend to this week.
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And because of the team that we had in place, Uh,
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it allowed us to step back and really really be
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there and and grieve as a family. And so that
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that that really meant a lot, really meant a lot.
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I don't know if that's answering you question or not.
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It was something very very personal that that was a
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week the church took care of us, you know, it
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really took care of us. They saw what we were
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walking through and instead of hey, pastor needs to do
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this and this and be here for that, we really
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saw the church and action stepping up and think care
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of us.
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Well, isn't it amazing that you you reap what you've suw.
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Yeah, it's you know, a lot of times as people,
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it's hard, it's hard to receive, you know. So I'm
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the one who's always helping, I'm the one who's always doing,
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and to be in that position of having to receive
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that that was a hard feel to swallow.
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But I know you mentioned this before as well with
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the flood and your house, where a lot of church
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members got together and actually helped out.
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Yeah, that was probably one of the most helpless feelings
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you ever had, because you just kind of look around
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at all the devastation in the area. It's not just
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my home, it's all my neighbors, probably seventy seventy five
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percent of the church walking through the same thing, the
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community walking through the same thing, And there was almost
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just feeling not just helplessness, but hopelessness.
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And there's so much to do, and people just showed up. Yeah,
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they just showed up, and we didn't have to tell them.
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They just did.
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I think, you know, just speaking to men in general
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and leaders and entrepreneurs, you can't force people to do
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something they don't want to do. But when they do
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something out of their heart or the abundance of their
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joy to do it, that's when you're like, Okay, I'm
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leading the right way.
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Yeah, what advice would.
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You give men, businessmen leaders out there that are starting
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out fresh new You've been in let's call it in
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leadership for what now, twenty plus thirty thirty years.
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Thirty years?
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What advice would you give us new leaders on trying
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to build a good team.
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I know for us, we were so excited whenever we
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were able to start And I'm gonna talk about paid
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staff when we were able to start hiring people to
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help in the process. But I think a lot of
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times you're so excited to start hiring people you don't
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realize that that that brings in a whole new set
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of challenges in with itself, because now you're responsible for
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these individuals that you are.
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Paying a salary to.
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You're responsible for not just them, but their families as well,
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And there are challenges because you're dealing with personalities. You're
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dealing with with different individuals with different opinions and ideas.
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And I said this a few minutes ago. Sometimes because
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my mindset was my way is the right way, this
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is how we're going to do it, and leadership has
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taught me this way. My way is not necessarily always
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the best way. When you have people who are qualified
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leaders stepping into positions and wanting to help move the
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baton down the field, a lot of times the ideas
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that they have might be even better than the ones
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that you have. And it's learning to operate as a team.
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So I've for me, I've come to a place where
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I learned I value the opinions of my team members.
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They realize that, hey, we may not do this. We
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may not passionately, may not take my idea and run
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with it, but I want to hear all their voices.
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They've all got a voice, they're all valuable in the process.
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And so now we sit around, and we've been doing
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this for years, we sit around when something's coming up,
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and we're going to have our team meetings and we're
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going to discuss things, and I want to know what's
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your opinion, what do you think of this? What do
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you think of this? And I'm taking mental notes because
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some of those things, you know, we may utilize, some
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of them we may not utilize. So I would tell
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leaders to the ones that are on your team, value
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them as people, value their opinion, and don't just see
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them as an employee. Don't just see them as somebody
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that that's a workhorse in your organization, but you know,
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build into that place where your family and really learn
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to value that employees are you know that that person's
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that teammate's opinion because they bring value to to the
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to the table.
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Now, obviously, your your podcast is about marriage, building legacy family.
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You have three amazing sons.
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I do and three amazing daughter in laws.
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And three amazing daughter in laws and six amazing grandchildren.
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What pressure would you say you've been on, if any,
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to leave a legacy worth living?
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You know, I think every pastor, and I don't know
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if this translates over to the business world or not.
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I think that if I had a business, I would
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want my sons to take over the business and help
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it thrive and go to another level. I can't really
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think of another pastor that does not. You know, maybe
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think along that same vein that I'd like to lead
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this church. I'd love to see my sons step into
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the place where they're leading and pastoring, and eventually they
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become the next generation takes it in my son's role
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with it. I came to grips with this many years ago.
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My sons may not be called a ministry, and I
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remember seeing the statistic that eighty percent of men hate
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their jobs. And I love what I do. There are
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hard days, there are days that are stressful, but by
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and large, I love what I do. I love interacting
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with our church congregation. I love interacting with the community.
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I love being able to speak the vision and direction
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that the Lord has for our church and for their lives.
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On Sunday mornings, as I preach and teach, but I
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didn't want my sons doing something just because Dad wanted
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them to. I wanted them to be the best welder, teacher,
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garbage man that God has called them to be if
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they really feel that that is what He has called
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them to do. I wanted them to love what they do.
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So you know, Consequently, I wound up with one son
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who is in ministry. He's our worship pastor, but he
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has a business on the side. I have another son
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who works in a plant. I have another son who
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has his own business. And the legacy that I wanted
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to really impress in them is I had a lot
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of opportunities and a lot of options in front of me.
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Whenever I stepped into marrying my wife and what am
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I gonna do with my life? There were a lot
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of opportunities there. God blessed me with a lot of
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tremendous opportunities. But every one of those that I stepped into,
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I really wasn't happy. I wanted to be, and I
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was not happy until I was able to step into
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the calling that God had for my life. So the
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legacy that I wanted to leave behind for my sons
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was God has a calling for you, no matter what
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it is, whether it's ministry or whether it's running a business,
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Step into that calling and be a man of God
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that He uses in that calling to make a difference
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in this world around you.
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And it's not just them.
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I'd like to see that one of these days from
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my grandkids as well.
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Do you have any regrets?
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The only regret that I have is I had a
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momentary thought years ago, whenever bitcoin was first popping on
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the scene. I would just make these little random investments,
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you know, like one hundred bucks here there or whatever.
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And it was probably I don't know, twenty twelve, twenty thirteen,
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I had a thought like I'd drop one hundred bucks
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on that bitcoin thing, and I don't.
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Know it was.
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I don't remember what it was, maybe eight cents, ten
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cents a coin at that point. That's a regret because
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everybody sees where it is now. But that's a silly regret.
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But go.
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I often think back to that, like, man, that would
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have been awesome them. But there are some things with
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the boys that I wish I had done differently. I
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did a really good job of teaching my boys to pray,
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you know, the prayer is crucial and pivotal in your
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walk with the Lord. So I felt like I did
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a good job of teaching them to pray. I feel
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like I did a good job of teaching them the
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importance of being involved, invested, and committed within the local church.
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If I could go back and do things a little
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bit different with my boys, I probably would have done
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a better job of really discipling them in the direction of,
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you know, spending time in them and sitting them down
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and teaching them the importance of daily devotion. I did
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those things myself, but I didn't necessarily sit them down
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and walk. We would have family time where we would
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do you know, praise and worship or we'd devotion. We
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did I had a lot of time as a family
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we prayed together. But that's kind of one thing. If
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I could go back, I probably would have been more
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intentional on walking them through through the.
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Process of discipleship a little bit better.
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Last question, Kap.
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As your producer, I know one of your biggest audiences
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is your church body. If you could tell them something
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in a few sentences, what would you tell them, which
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I'm sure they'll listen.
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Yeah, there's a lot that I would tell them. First
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of all, Yeah, I know it's a lot to go
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to a church and to invest your life into that
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community of believers. That's a big step, that's a big commitment.
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And man, we've been blessed. We launched the church and
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Community two thousand and eight and it's just been a
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it's been a rocket ride ever since. I mean, the
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Lord has done some really amazing things. And I would
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first of all just tell our church and me, thank
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you so much for trusting in Stacy.
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And I as your pastors.
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Thank you for the way that I know everybody always
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looks at you know, they hear me speak on Sundays,
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they hear Stacy speak on Sundays. But our church is
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just done a really good job of serving not just us,
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but one another, serving the community, and we've just really
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been blessed to be a part of that. To step back,
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it's been a tremendous blessing of watching different church family
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step into the giftings. They see those giftings that God
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has for them, and then they step out and begin
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to use those giftings. And it's just been really a
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cool thing to see that, to see them embrace purpose.
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I know that that's a catchword these days. You know
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Rick Warren, you know, probably launched that years ago, the
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purpose driven life, and ever since then. Purpose God is
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a purpose God as a plan. But it's a real
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big catch thing that people run with. But I really
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mean that whenever I see people in our church, it's
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like their eyes they get born again and then boom,
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they realize God has a purpose for me and these
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giftings He's placed in my life, and they get really
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excited about serve being are sharing the gospel, or they
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get fired up about you know, engaging with the Lord
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in prayer. And it's just been really a neat thing
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to be a part of that process, to see God
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use our church family in that way. So I would
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just say thank you for having an open heart to
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the Lord and being able to be led by the Lord.
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That's just a blessing to me, is Pastor, Because what's
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the point I mean, if you just have church and
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have a bunch of people show up and nobody's growing,
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and nobody's getting born again, and nobody's serving, and nobody's
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you know, loving, what's the point that that's that's not
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what God has called us to. But to really see
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a church thrive and move in the direction of what
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you read about in the.
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Book of Acts.
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That that's what blesses me, That's what blesses me and Stacy.
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Both, Jay, thank you so much for sitting with us.
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Thank you.
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I appreciate a few questions and appreciate you for letting
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me be honest today and just share my thoughts. Thank
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you for listening of this interview. And I hope that
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our genuineness has been a blessing to you as we
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answer these different questions that Carlos asked as he talked
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about family and talked about marriage and talked about ministry.
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Because a lot of people are curious, they want to know,
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make sure that you like, you subscribe, you share, leave
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us a comment, give us a review, and until next time,
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I'm Jay and this is Love Life Crazy.
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Hello everyone, thank you for being a part of the
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Lovelike Crazy Podcast. Today, we've actually done something a little
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bit different today. We just wanted to be candid today
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and really open and honest with you, and so we've
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kind of changed things up. You guys see us all
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oftentimes interview other people and hear their side of the story,
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their conversation, and so today we actually I was able
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to sit down with our producer, Carlo Carlos Flores from
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High Hello Labs, and Carlos asked me some questions. He
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interviewed me. You're going to see Stacy in another episode
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as he interviews her and asks her different questions, and
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we just shared her heart. We were just open and
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honest about these different questions that he asked and it
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was pretty refreshing. It was a lot of fun to
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be able to do that. And before we get into
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this interview, I want to thank you guys for being
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a part of this podcast. The response that you've given
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us has been wonderful, and so I would encourage you
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to continue. If you are enjoying this to like, hit
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that little like button. If you're watching on YouTube, hit
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that subscribe button, because what that does It alerts you
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to upcoming episodes and things that can build your marriage
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and your family in a stronger way. So thank you
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for helping us to push this podcast forward. It's been
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so much fun watching all the things that the Lord
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has done. So let's jump into this interview together. Hello, Jenny,
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Hey Carlos, thank you for.
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Allowing me to sit down and ask a few questions.
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I know it's pretty weird because I'm on the other
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side of the other side.
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It's a different type of episode of love like crazy,
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and usually you're behind the scenes and it's like people
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here is reference Carlos, but you know, to have you
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here sitting with me and you and Carolyn have been
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a guest on the podcast before, but this is different
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and I'm glad we're doing this.
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As we've gone through quite a few years now with
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the pod, you know, there's been a lot of questions
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and a lot of trying to understand more who Jay
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and Stac are as not just pastors, but a marriage,
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a couple, parents now grandparents. So what would you say
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as a man is one of the things that has
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really challenged you to be able to balance out marriage,
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being a grandparent, being a parent, But also being the
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head of a pretty successful church.
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Well, I think that learning to manage your time appropriately,
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you know, it's kind of one of the things that
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I have the tendency of pouring myself into ministry one
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hundred percent of because I you know, you've in past
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episodes you've heard my wife talk about her dad was
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a workaholic. I have the tendency because of the work
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ethic that was instilled in me by my dad. I
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love to give of myself one hundred percent to a
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project to build the church, and I know it's all
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for the Lord. We're building this thing for him. It's
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not for Jay's glory, It's for the Lord's glory. But
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to find to strike a balance that is healthy to
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where I am making sure that I'm doing the responsibilities
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of what God has called me to, but I'm also
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trying I'm pouring time into my marriage. I'm building my wife,
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I'm building my kids, my family and now my grandkids.
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And I realize now as I've gotten a little bit older,
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I'm better at balancing that. Whenever I was young, you know,
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it was nothing to work, you know, forty sixty eighty hours.
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I know people hear that like you know, like what
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you know work in ministry, that that long of a
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period of time. But when we were under instruction, we
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went through a year long period of I didn't take
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any days off and would work Monday through Friday is
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the general contractor on the project, from six am till
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six in the evening. Then Saturday was sermon prep day.
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We were meeting in a school, had to go, you know,
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set up the church. Sunday you preach, and there were
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some counseling sessions on Sundays as well. Then Monday right
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back at it's a seven days a week. I remember
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I took Christmas Day off I think Christmas Eve as well,
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but we were steady back on it. We didn't take
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a vacation or anything. And it was one of those
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seasons in life that we recognized was really really hard,
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really difficult. But I was doing this for the Lord,
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pouring myself into it. But I came to the place
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where I realized that ain't healthy. That is not healthy
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for me or my wife or my kids. And what
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good does it do to build this church for the Lord?
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If you're you know, you flame out or you know,
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you pay the price for your mental health.
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Did you realize it wasn't healthy because something happened, or
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did you just clicked One.
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Day, Well, I had a little health scare. It was
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probably about a month before we launched the church. I
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had gone to a pastor's breakfast and there's a group
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of us progressive pastors. We get together monthly. There's usually
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anywhere from eight to twelve of us that gather and
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it's a great I look forward to it every month.
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And that day, in particular, it was at a church
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called Victory Harvest over on Flannery Drive, which was only
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about probably five miles from where our church our church is,
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And as we're leaving out of that breakfast, all of
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a sudden, I get hit with a dizzy spell. And
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I make it to my truck and I've never had vertigo.
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I've heard verdigo before, but not like that. And I'm like, well,
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I'll be okay. Well, I pull out on the highway
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and I can't drive. I'm about to pass out. And
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I pull into this parking lot of this businesses Sex
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to the church, and I start thinking, am I having
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a stroke? What's going on? And I staggered. I literally
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fall through the door of that business freak all everybody
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out the receptionist and they want to do we need
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to call an anulyst. I know, just just call my
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wife and uh.
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Just so happens.
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There was a guy working there who came to the
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church and he volunteered. He said, I'll take you to
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the church. So he drove me to the church. We
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wind up going to the doctor's office. They did ekg's.
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They ran all these different tests and it was nothing
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other than my blood pressure that they had put me
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on blood pressure meds during the during the construction of
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the church, but my blood pressure went sky high and
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it caused that episode. And so the doctor told me,
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he said, you know, they adjusted my medication. But that
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little scare kind of made me realize, like, you know what,
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this is not worth. You know, I'll give my life
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or the cause of Christ, but I'm not going to
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work myself into a grave because my family, my wife,
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they need me here and the church needs me here
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as well.
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So that kind of taught me.
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And there's the ebb and flow that we go through
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season station and I we communicate about this, Hey, we're
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going into a season and ministry now it's extremely busy,
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so we know we're gonna pour everything into this. We're
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gonna work hard, but then when their season comes to rest,
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we're gonna rest. Well.
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A lot of people don't know this, but you have
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multiple jobs. You're not just a pastor.
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I think when it comes to pastors, everyone thinks like, oh,
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they need to be there twenty four to seven, you know,
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helping out, doing this, doing that. When you're called to
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do this or a funeral or a wedding, you have
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to be there. And sometimes how do you split yourself
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up to so many needs?
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I hate to tell people know, you know, when they're
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going through that time of grieving and hurting, I want
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to be able to be there for them. So that's
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been a difficult one for me to be able to,
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you know, have to look at something and say, well,
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I'm going to be out of town on this time,
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or you know, when you're dealing with budgeting or you're
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dealing with things that just pop up or hospital visits.
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The greatest thing for me has been able to, you know,
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over the years, we've been able to build a good
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team and we've had different staff members that we've been
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able to hire.
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And at first I was kind of like, well.
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I got this, I can handle this, and I would
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not release things to them.
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But over the course of.
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Time, and honestly, as I've matured and grown up a
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little bit, I realized that maybe my way is not
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the best way, and maybe this person can handle this
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a little bit better than me, or their personality is
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a little bit better match for this. And so I've
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allowed these different individuals to step in and help with ministry,
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and I've learned the value of handing things off right.
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You know, I think a lot of times we talk
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about delegating things off to other people, and I kind
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of looked at that unfortunately as a way like I'm
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pushing my response abilities off on other people. But you
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get a lot more accomplished when you work together as
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a team. And it's not necessarily pushing my responsibilities off
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on other people. It's allowing them to participate and be
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a part of what God's called all of.
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Us to do.
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Totally makes sense now, as you you know, exercise your
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leadership at church, you exercise your leadership at home. Has
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there any can you pinpoint any sort of situation where
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you're like, man, I remember this happened and I had
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to say no, and it hurt me to say no,
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but it had to be done, whether it was a
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game for one of the boys or whether it.
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Was disappointing a church member.
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Well, I know one of the things that we had
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pop up was the boys played sports in high school.
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That was back in the season when we were doing
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Wednesday night services, and Stacey and I would always make
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sure that like when Tyler played, he was playing football
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and he we had games on Wednesday nights, I was
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teaching on Wednesday nights. And at that point we really
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didn't have a very large staff. We didn't really have
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ones who could accommodate a service, and so, you know,
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but what we made sure that we would do is
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either I would teach or Stacey would teach, but one
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of us was always at his game, and because we
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wanted him to see us in the stands. You know,
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we didn't we didn't travel much with them, but if
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there were home games, we were all one of us
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was always in the stands. I know, for me, there
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was something that popped up that was very, very personal.
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It was the second Easter. I think it was the
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second Easter or that we had launched as a church,
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might have been the first Easter, and I had a
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very very close friend that suddenly passed away. We had
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an entire week lined up of serving in the community.
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We used to do what we called the Great a Hunt,
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you know, one hundred thousand candy stuffed Easter eggs. We'd
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actually expanded that to two locations. I mean, it was
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just a massive under taking. We would have anywhere from
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five to ten thousand people show up for this Easter
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a Hunt, so it was a massive ordeal. And on
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top of that, leading up to that, we would do
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surf projects, feeding the school faculty at all these different
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schools in the community, picking up trash out of the ditches.
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You just serve things, surf projects in the community. Well,
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my friend passed away. If memory sergon correctly, it was
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a Sunday night. I get to call at eleven o'clock
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at night, jumping my vehicle, drive an iron fifteen minutes
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to laugh yet and I'm there with his wife and.
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Family and then get back in my vehicle.
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Made it back to Baton Rouge about six o'clock in
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the morning, and I remember just sitting in my office
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closing that I didn't wan anybody coming in, but I could.
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Hear there were people showing up already.
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Because they were getting ready to start cooking, prepping for
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all these SERF projects.
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And I didn't.
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Really want to talk to anybody, didn't really want to
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be around anybody, just sitting in my office and sobbing
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because I had lost such a close friend.
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And the cool part.
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Was those were all projects that I had to say
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yes to that week. I have to be there, I've
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got to serve, I've got to do all these things.
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But our serve team, the cooking team, all these different
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ones that were involved in this, they were the ones
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who stepped up and they said, you know what, you
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don't need.
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We got this. We got this.
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And because of the culture that we had built, because
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of ones with such a heart to serve, my wife
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and I were able to take a step back and
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attend to the funeral services that we go be with
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the family that week grieve because all of our boys
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had lost one that they felt that, you know, it
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was like a grandpa to them, And it was because
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it was one of the.
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Things that.
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I probably you know, that pressing on me of you've
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got to do this, You've got to be there and
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do all these projects. But really like Hey, I've got
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something that's even more important to attend to this week.
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And because of the team that we had in place, Uh,
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it allowed us to step back and really really be
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there and and grieve as a family. And so that
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that that really meant a lot, really meant a lot.
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I don't know if that's answering you question or not.
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It was something very very personal that that was a
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week the church took care of us, you know, it
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really took care of us. They saw what we were
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walking through and instead of hey, pastor needs to do
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this and this and be here for that, we really
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saw the church and action stepping up and think care
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of us.
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Well, isn't it amazing that you you reap what you've suw.
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Yeah, it's you know, a lot of times as people,
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it's hard, it's hard to receive, you know. So I'm
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the one who's always helping, I'm the one who's always doing,
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and to be in that position of having to receive
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that that was a hard feel to swallow.
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But I know you mentioned this before as well with
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the flood and your house, where a lot of church
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members got together and actually helped out.
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Yeah, that was probably one of the most helpless feelings
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you ever had, because you just kind of look around
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at all the devastation in the area. It's not just
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my home, it's all my neighbors, probably seventy seventy five
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percent of the church walking through the same thing, the
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community walking through the same thing, And there was almost
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just feeling not just helplessness, but hopelessness.
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And there's so much to do, and people just showed up. Yeah,
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they just showed up, and we didn't have to tell them.
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They just did.
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I think, you know, just speaking to men in general
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and leaders and entrepreneurs, you can't force people to do
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something they don't want to do. But when they do
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something out of their heart or the abundance of their
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joy to do it, that's when you're like, Okay, I'm
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leading the right way.
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Yeah, what advice would.
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You give men, businessmen leaders out there that are starting
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out fresh new You've been in let's call it in
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leadership for what now, twenty plus thirty thirty years.
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Thirty years?
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What advice would you give us new leaders on trying
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to build a good team.
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I know for us, we were so excited whenever we
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were able to start And I'm gonna talk about paid
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staff when we were able to start hiring people to
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help in the process. But I think a lot of
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times you're so excited to start hiring people you don't
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realize that that that brings in a whole new set
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of challenges in with itself, because now you're responsible for
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these individuals that you are.
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Paying a salary to.
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You're responsible for not just them, but their families as well,
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And there are challenges because you're dealing with personalities. You're
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dealing with with different individuals with different opinions and ideas.
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And I said this a few minutes ago. Sometimes because
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my mindset was my way is the right way, this
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is how we're going to do it, and leadership has
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taught me this way. My way is not necessarily always
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the best way. When you have people who are qualified
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leaders stepping into positions and wanting to help move the
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baton down the field, a lot of times the ideas
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that they have might be even better than the ones
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that you have. And it's learning to operate as a team.
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So I've for me, I've come to a place where
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I learned I value the opinions of my team members.
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They realize that, hey, we may not do this. We
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may not passionately, may not take my idea and run
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with it, but I want to hear all their voices.
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They've all got a voice, they're all valuable in the process.
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And so now we sit around, and we've been doing
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this for years, we sit around when something's coming up,
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and we're going to have our team meetings and we're
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going to discuss things, and I want to know what's
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your opinion, what do you think of this? What do
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you think of this? And I'm taking mental notes because
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some of those things, you know, we may utilize, some
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of them we may not utilize. So I would tell
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leaders to the ones that are on your team, value
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them as people, value their opinion, and don't just see
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them as an employee. Don't just see them as somebody
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that that's a workhorse in your organization, but you know,
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build into that place where your family and really learn
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to value that employees are you know that that person's
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that teammate's opinion because they bring value to to the
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to the table.
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Now, obviously, your your podcast is about marriage, building legacy family.
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You have three amazing sons.
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I do and three amazing daughter in laws.
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And three amazing daughter in laws and six amazing grandchildren.
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What pressure would you say you've been on, if any,
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to leave a legacy worth living?
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You know, I think every pastor, and I don't know
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if this translates over to the business world or not.
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I think that if I had a business, I would
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want my sons to take over the business and help
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it thrive and go to another level. I can't really
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think of another pastor that does not. You know, maybe
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think along that same vein that I'd like to lead
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this church. I'd love to see my sons step into
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the place where they're leading and pastoring, and eventually they
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become the next generation takes it in my son's role
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with it. I came to grips with this many years ago.
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My sons may not be called a ministry, and I
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remember seeing the statistic that eighty percent of men hate
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their jobs. And I love what I do. There are
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hard days, there are days that are stressful, but by
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and large, I love what I do. I love interacting
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with our church congregation. I love interacting with the community.
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I love being able to speak the vision and direction
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that the Lord has for our church and for their lives.
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On Sunday mornings, as I preach and teach, but I
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didn't want my sons doing something just because Dad wanted
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them to. I wanted them to be the best welder, teacher,
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garbage man that God has called them to be if
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they really feel that that is what He has called
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them to do. I wanted them to love what they do.
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So you know, Consequently, I wound up with one son
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who is in ministry. He's our worship pastor, but he
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has a business on the side. I have another son
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who works in a plant. I have another son who
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has his own business. And the legacy that I wanted
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to really impress in them is I had a lot
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of opportunities and a lot of options in front of me.
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Whenever I stepped into marrying my wife and what am
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I gonna do with my life? There were a lot
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of opportunities there. God blessed me with a lot of
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tremendous opportunities. But every one of those that I stepped into,
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I really wasn't happy. I wanted to be, and I
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was not happy until I was able to step into
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the calling that God had for my life. So the
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legacy that I wanted to leave behind for my sons
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was God has a calling for you, no matter what
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it is, whether it's ministry or whether it's running a business,
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Step into that calling and be a man of God
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that He uses in that calling to make a difference
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in this world around you.
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And it's not just them.
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I'd like to see that one of these days from
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my grandkids as well.
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Do you have any regrets?
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The only regret that I have is I had a
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momentary thought years ago, whenever bitcoin was first popping on
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the scene. I would just make these little random investments,
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you know, like one hundred bucks here there or whatever.
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And it was probably I don't know, twenty twelve, twenty thirteen,
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I had a thought like I'd drop one hundred bucks
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on that bitcoin thing, and I don't.
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Know it was.
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I don't remember what it was, maybe eight cents, ten
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cents a coin at that point. That's a regret because
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everybody sees where it is now. But that's a silly regret.
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But go.
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I often think back to that, like, man, that would
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have been awesome them. But there are some things with
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the boys that I wish I had done differently. I
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did a really good job of teaching my boys to pray,
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you know, the prayer is crucial and pivotal in your
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walk with the Lord. So I felt like I did
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a good job of teaching them to pray. I feel
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like I did a good job of teaching them the
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importance of being involved, invested, and committed within the local church.
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If I could go back and do things a little
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bit different with my boys, I probably would have done
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a better job of really discipling them in the direction of,
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you know, spending time in them and sitting them down
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and teaching them the importance of daily devotion. I did
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those things myself, but I didn't necessarily sit them down
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and walk. We would have family time where we would
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do you know, praise and worship or we'd devotion. We
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did I had a lot of time as a family
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we prayed together. But that's kind of one thing. If
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I could go back, I probably would have been more
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intentional on walking them through through the.
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Process of discipleship a little bit better.
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Last question, Kap.
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As your producer, I know one of your biggest audiences
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is your church body. If you could tell them something
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in a few sentences, what would you tell them, which
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I'm sure they'll listen.
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Yeah, there's a lot that I would tell them. First
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of all, Yeah, I know it's a lot to go
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to a church and to invest your life into that
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community of believers. That's a big step, that's a big commitment.
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And man, we've been blessed. We launched the church and
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Community two thousand and eight and it's just been a
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it's been a rocket ride ever since. I mean, the
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Lord has done some really amazing things. And I would
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first of all just tell our church and me, thank
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you so much for trusting in Stacy.
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And I as your pastors.
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Thank you for the way that I know everybody always
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looks at you know, they hear me speak on Sundays,
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they hear Stacy speak on Sundays. But our church is
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just done a really good job of serving not just us,
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but one another, serving the community, and we've just really
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been blessed to be a part of that. To step back,
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it's been a tremendous blessing of watching different church family
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step into the giftings. They see those giftings that God
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has for them, and then they step out and begin
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to use those giftings. And it's just been really a
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cool thing to see that, to see them embrace purpose.
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I know that that's a catchword these days. You know
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Rick Warren, you know, probably launched that years ago, the
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purpose driven life, and ever since then. Purpose God is
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a purpose God as a plan. But it's a real
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big catch thing that people run with. But I really
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mean that whenever I see people in our church, it's
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like their eyes they get born again and then boom,
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they realize God has a purpose for me and these
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giftings He's placed in my life, and they get really
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excited about serve being are sharing the gospel, or they
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get fired up about you know, engaging with the Lord
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in prayer. And it's just been really a neat thing
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to be a part of that process, to see God
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use our church family in that way. So I would
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just say thank you for having an open heart to
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the Lord and being able to be led by the Lord.
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That's just a blessing to me, is Pastor, Because what's
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the point I mean, if you just have church and
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have a bunch of people show up and nobody's growing,
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and nobody's getting born again, and nobody's serving, and nobody's
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you know, loving, what's the point that that's that's not
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what God has called us to. But to really see
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a church thrive and move in the direction of what
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you read about in the.
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Book of Acts.
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That that's what blesses me, That's what blesses me and Stacy.
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Both, Jay, thank you so much for sitting with us.
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Thank you.
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I appreciate a few questions and appreciate you for letting
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me be honest today and just share my thoughts. Thank
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you for listening of this interview. And I hope that
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our genuineness has been a blessing to you as we
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answer these different questions that Carlos asked as he talked
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about family and talked about marriage and talked about ministry.
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Because a lot of people are curious, they want to know,
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make sure that you like, you subscribe, you share, leave
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us a comment, give us a review, and until next time,
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I'm Jay and this is Love Life Crazy.
