STOP 🛑 Overthinking: How to Find Stillness & Calm Your Nerves

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Language: en
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Welcome to the Limitless Ladies Network
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podcast where we are limitless in
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sharing lessons to advocate and drive
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insightful, empathetic self-care. The
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Limitless Ladies Network is dedicated to
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nourishing minds, educating on
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self-care, and facilitating
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transformative experiences. Our mission
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is to guide women to age with grace,
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cultivate good health, and build
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meaningful connections to bring
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happiness into their lives. We strive to
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empower the ladies of the community so
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they may successfully advocate for
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themselves and embrace a journey of
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holistic well-being. Please note that
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the information and opinions shared on
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this podcast are for educational
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any way to be used as medical advice.
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Please seek a medical professional for
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any health rellated matters and always
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refer to our full disclosure in our show
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notes.
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Hello and welcome to today's episode
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where we are going to be talking with an
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expert on safety and stillness and ways
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to ground ourselves.
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In today's episode, I have my very
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distinct honor of having Saskia
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Bergman's with me today. She is a yoga
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teacher, mentor, writer, and artist.
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Saskia is passionate about helping women
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navigate major life transitions with
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confidence and clarity. She guides her
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students and clients to achieve greater
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balance, healing, and mental freedom
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from within. Saskia teaches her yoga
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classes and 200hour yoga teacher
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training programs through the yoga
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spirit lineage. She cultivates learning
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in her students guiding a multi-level
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class from physical foundation to the
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body to healing components of yoga.
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Saskuke holds a safe and sacred space
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for her students to regain and build
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confidence in in themselves and their
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bodies through her yoga classes,
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spiritual mentoring, meditation classes,
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and workshops. She grew up in England
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and the Netherlands, and now lives in
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New England since 20 since 2000, and she
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currently lives in New Haven,
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Connecticut with her two wonderful
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daughters. Welcome, Saskio.
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>> Thank you, Tammy. Lovely to be here. Hi.
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So excited to talk about just setting
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some grounding for ourselves in this
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world of complete chaos that we live in
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with AI and technology that just drains
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on us. I feel like
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>> kind of sucking the life energy out of
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us, right?
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>> Um and just getting back to stillness.
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So tell me a little bit about how you
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came into doing yoga and meditation.
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>> You know, it started I mean I've been at
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it for about 30 years. It started many
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years ago and it just really drew me in
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when I first sort of started seeing it,
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experiencing, and I was like, I got to
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do this. I've got to do this. And you
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know, in my young, more naive, innocent
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mind, you know, my mind was like, "Oh my
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god, if I do this, I'm not going to have
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any problems cuz I'm just going to
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cruise through life and have clean
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karma." Now, you know, as you grow up,
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life teaches you that you have karma,
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and we all have life lessons. But what
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it has taught me is
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that it's built my inner strength, my
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built my inner res, you know, resilience
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from within. And that's what's taught
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me,
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it's reminded me how to build my tools
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to come into alignment, how to, you
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know, when I notice, oh my god, that was
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a really over-the-top response. What
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what was I thinking? that was not
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necessary, you know, and just having
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that reflection and that inward
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retrospective
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to be able to recalibrate. Sometimes
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it's,
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you know, after the fact, right? We all
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know that that we suddenly think, why
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why enough did I overreact like that?
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That was out of character of me. But in
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time, the more we practice it through
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the grounding and that cultivation of
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stillness, we start to catch those
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moments a little earlier and then in
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time we start to catch it in the moment
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of like, oh no, find your center, find
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your and it becomes more automatic and
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it becomes more integrated in who we
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are. So, you know, we're always going to
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have times where we're in balance and
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out of balance and that's life.
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But what I found the yoga
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has imbued in me is that
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building of my resilience,
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remembering how to drop back into myself
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and finding that coming home in that
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stillness.
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And that's really our birthright.
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>> That is beautiful. But because we've
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been so conditioned to be in survival
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mode and to be pulled in all these
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directions and you know I taught
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postpartum and prenatal for years and
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the Asian demographic who came to class
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when I touched on postpartum and how to
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you know put some tips out there for
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postpartum and just plant the seed in
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their consciousness. M [clears throat]
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>> the Asian ladies, oh no, my mom's coming
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for 6 months. My parents are coming for
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6 months. You know,
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Eastern cultures know the value of that
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self-care, of that being held. And in
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the West,
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we don't. We're so afraid. And in
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America,
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we don't have postpartum time. We don't
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It's very slowly shifting, but still
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>> so far away. But we're also conditioned
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to be like, well, we just get on with
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it. But we're all so afraid, right? And
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and we're all we snap under pressure
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when we're afraid. My teacher spoke
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about, you know, a healthy strand of
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hair, if you pull it, you can feel the
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elasticity in it. But when it's not
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healthy, it frays and it snaps. And
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especially now in this massive time of
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change on the planet, we're seeing
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how we're all snapping under pressure
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and we're seeing it on the news and
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externally as well. So, it's such a gift
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to have yoga and all the other ancient
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arts
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imbued in our society right now because
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Yes. Right. I could not agree with you
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more as I'm digging myself deeper into
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some of the ancient practices of Native
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Americans and you know Aravedic
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practices
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yoga. It's all so
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impactful to
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having a really good balanced life that
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those were just things that they did. I
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mean there were practices that were for
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the entire family as you said with you
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know other cultures being able to bring
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their families in for six months. I
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think I recently read um just that like
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family leave in another country was like
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six months and I thought wow. I mean,
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how
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>> how precious is that when you have this
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newborn baby that you could spend six
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months with that child and with your
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spouse to be able to truly bond and
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again do the healing that happen unlike
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here in the US where we've given like
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six weeks is just not nearly enough.
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>> Right. Right. Right.
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>> And you touched on Ayda. Ayveda is the
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sister science to yoga.
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>> Yes,
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>> I know you know that but not all your pe
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your viewers might not know. So they're
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really wonderfully intermeshed. And as
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you touched on, you know, the Indian,
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the Asian, the Chinese, a lot of it when
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you hear it, you're like, "Oh my god,
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that makes complete sense." But because
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it it's the simplicity of it is
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sometimes so simplistic that we toss it
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aside because it's like we're used to
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having to struggle so much. It's like no
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give me something complicated to get my
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teeth into,
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>> right? It's like well actually the more
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we build upon these simple steady
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foundations and just do one at a time
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>> so that it becomes the new norm and then
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the older less
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less um fruitful habits let's say
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>> would start to fall away
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>> because we can only hold so much and
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nowadays it's even less than we normally
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someone said to me the other day oh yes
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it takes seven you to see something
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seven times before it anchors in, before
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you hear it. And I said, you know, that
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was actually 5 10 years ago. That's not
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the case anymore because we're so
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bombarded with so much information.
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Things aren't penetrating in as much
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because
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we're receiving more information than
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our grandparents did in a day.
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>> I know. It is insane how much
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information and energy and
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things are just constantly changing.
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It's like information overload.
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>> Yeah. Yeah. And I've been noticing I've
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been pulling back more from even the
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regular people I used to find substance
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and solace with. I've been pulling back
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more because I've just been needing
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my own space and not taking in more
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information. Yes. Yes. Just to have time
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to think and spend time here
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>> versus out there, right?
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>> Yeah. Yeah.
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>> Yeah.
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>> Because we don't factor in stillness.
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>> And it's in that stillness that the
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subconscious mind starts to process.
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And that's why our sleep quality is less
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so because
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well there are multiple reasons but
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>> we're not digesting and having those
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pauses during the day even to sit and
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have a cup of tea or coffee. What do we
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do? We're holding it in our hand. We're
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drinking and driving. We're, you know,
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we're doing so much. And
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it might not be for everybody, but
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generally gone are the days that you
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just sit at the kitchen table and
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savor your drink and just stare out the
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window, right? Like those places where
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they just have midday siestas. The whole
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entire town closes for 2 hours so that
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everyone can just take their time to be
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with their family or to have their quiet
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time to breathe. to rest and digest,
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take a nap if you'd like, right? And
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just come back recharged. It just is
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such a happier place to be,
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>> right?
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>> So, share with us, Saskia, some of your
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techniques in ways of grounding that
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anyone can really implement into their
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daily practices.
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>> Right.
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One thing I love, I don't have a
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backyard, I have an apartment,
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but I have a patch of grass in the front
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of the house and I go outside,
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especially now bare feet on the earth
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and just walking with my bare feet on
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the earth.
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>> You might have heard of grounding. You
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know, again, this is one of those
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wonderful foundational things we can do.
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Another thing is
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for those of you who are familiar with
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tadasana, it's called mountain pose and
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it's a very foundational pose in yoga
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where we stand on both feet and we just
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pause here. Now students who come to my
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class know that we'll be there for two
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or three minutes
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because again it's it's dropping into
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stillness. Often when we stand, we tend
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to have one foot turned out or, you
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know, we're leaning on one hip more and
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one leg. But finding your tadasa and
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just consciously bringing your feet
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parallel, even if you've got shoes on,
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have the sense of where your middle toe
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is in line with the center of the heel
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because that parallel of the feet of
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course has a chain reaction up the whole
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body. So if you stand, if you're
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standing now while you're listening, if
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you stand and you feel like that
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parallel legs makes you feel no need,
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have a slight micro bend in the knees,
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barely visible, but you know it's there.
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And that will help realign the structure
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in the legs and the muscular structure
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of the around the skeletal system, but
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it will start to create more balance in
00:12:59.760 --> 00:13:03.590
the sacrum and more evenness in the
00:13:03.600 --> 00:13:07.030
sacrum and the pelvis. M and just
00:13:07.040 --> 00:13:09.110
standing upright
00:13:09.120 --> 00:13:11.750
and think of the legs and the
00:13:11.760 --> 00:13:14.710
appendages, shoulder blades, arms, even
00:13:14.720 --> 00:13:17.430
if your arms are up, your elbows have a
00:13:17.440 --> 00:13:21.430
soft descending quality, but the spine
00:13:21.440 --> 00:13:24.310
rises and ascends. So from the crown of
00:13:24.320 --> 00:13:27.110
the head and the heart, there's a soft
00:13:27.120 --> 00:13:29.350
lifting up.
00:13:29.360 --> 00:13:33.030
So, it's not until that we ground that
00:13:33.040 --> 00:13:35.670
we can truly rise.
00:13:35.680 --> 00:13:39.670
And that starts to merge into all of our
00:13:39.680 --> 00:13:43.590
life. The more grounded we are, the more
00:13:43.600 --> 00:13:46.870
we can start to see from a greater lens
00:13:46.880 --> 00:13:50.310
because we're not just honed in on that
00:13:50.320 --> 00:13:53.190
hurry, that fight or flight. When you
00:13:53.200 --> 00:13:56.470
start placing both feet on the floor and
00:13:56.480 --> 00:13:59.750
breathe even three breaths,
00:13:59.760 --> 00:14:01.990
you'll start to notice there's a
00:14:02.000 --> 00:14:05.269
energetic shift in the body.
00:14:05.279 --> 00:14:08.389
And the other tip I give my students is
00:14:08.399 --> 00:14:12.069
just find 5% more in your heels than in
00:14:12.079 --> 00:14:15.110
the balls of your feet. And that
00:14:15.120 --> 00:14:17.189
alignment you start to align with the
00:14:17.199 --> 00:14:18.949
back body
00:14:18.959 --> 00:14:22.389
because our senses tend are facing
00:14:22.399 --> 00:14:24.870
outwards. Our ears, our eyes, our nose,
00:14:24.880 --> 00:14:28.310
our mouth. So this is what informs our
00:14:28.320 --> 00:14:30.629
surroundings, our life
00:14:30.639 --> 00:14:32.949
>> and often there tends to be a listing
00:14:32.959 --> 00:14:35.350
forwards in that. And sometimes it's
00:14:35.360 --> 00:14:37.990
very subtle and energetic. on the
00:14:38.000 --> 00:14:41.269
outside someone may look straight or not
00:14:41.279 --> 00:14:44.629
listing forwards but the energy is I got
00:14:44.639 --> 00:14:47.189
to keep going especially for tip right
00:14:47.199 --> 00:14:49.990
especially for what we call in ayda a
00:14:50.000 --> 00:14:55.269
pitta constitution so just that gentle
00:14:55.279 --> 00:14:58.389
sinking into the heels aligning with the
00:14:58.399 --> 00:15:01.670
back body and finding your breath you
00:15:01.680 --> 00:15:03.750
can do this in a public place and keep
00:15:03.760 --> 00:15:06.069
your eyes open if you're at home you can
00:15:06.079 --> 00:15:08.710
just close the eyes and drop into your
00:15:08.720 --> 00:15:12.710
breathing and start to notice
00:15:12.720 --> 00:15:15.670
how your breath starts to change.
00:15:15.680 --> 00:15:17.750
Because when we bring that awareness
00:15:17.760 --> 00:15:21.430
inwards, we start to expand that
00:15:21.440 --> 00:15:24.470
awareness of what's going on inside.
00:15:24.480 --> 00:15:26.790
And that's what we're missing, right?
00:15:26.800 --> 00:15:29.590
We're always responding to the outer
00:15:29.600 --> 00:15:33.269
world. And it's that gathering inwards
00:15:33.279 --> 00:15:36.949
that helps us to listen.
00:15:36.959 --> 00:15:39.590
That is wonderful, wonderful
00:15:39.600 --> 00:15:42.870
suggestions. I love the getting out and
00:15:42.880 --> 00:15:44.790
putting your feet into the grass. I've
00:15:44.800 --> 00:15:47.829
been doing that myself lately just to,
00:15:47.839 --> 00:15:50.470
you know, feel more grounded, feel the
00:15:50.480 --> 00:15:52.389
nice soft grass under your feet,
00:15:52.399 --> 00:15:54.790
especially now that all this rain has
00:15:54.800 --> 00:15:57.110
come and the grass is nice and tender
00:15:57.120 --> 00:16:00.949
under your feet. Um but it is nice to
00:16:00.959 --> 00:16:04.949
have that very practical way that no
00:16:04.959 --> 00:16:09.590
matter where you are, you can just um
00:16:09.600 --> 00:16:11.670
center yourself with your breath, right?
00:16:11.680 --> 00:16:14.389
Just stand or sit. I'm sure if you're
00:16:14.399 --> 00:16:16.790
sitting, you know, upright, shoulders
00:16:16.800 --> 00:16:20.470
back, the expansion of your lungs and
00:16:20.480 --> 00:16:23.829
the the space to give you more breath is
00:16:23.839 --> 00:16:26.550
just so important because I know for
00:16:26.560 --> 00:16:28.470
myself sometimes I get rushed with
00:16:28.480 --> 00:16:29.269
things,
00:16:29.279 --> 00:16:29.749
>> right?
00:16:29.759 --> 00:16:32.470
>> And before I know it, I'm like I'm
00:16:32.480 --> 00:16:34.389
holding my breath, right? I'm not even
00:16:34.399 --> 00:16:39.590
breathing and all like
00:16:39.600 --> 00:16:40.470
>> Yeah.
00:16:40.480 --> 00:16:43.990
>> Yeah. And when we start to breathe,
00:16:44.000 --> 00:16:47.430
that's exactly it. We start to unravel
00:16:47.440 --> 00:16:50.629
that holding and that tension.
00:16:50.639 --> 00:16:55.110
And I worked with a lady recently and I
00:16:55.120 --> 00:16:56.710
had her just lie on her back and it's
00:16:56.720 --> 00:16:59.030
called three-part breath. You first have
00:16:59.040 --> 00:17:00.470
your hands on your belly and you start
00:17:00.480 --> 00:17:02.629
to breathe into the belly and then you
00:17:02.639 --> 00:17:04.949
expand into the lungs and then you rest
00:17:04.959 --> 00:17:07.669
at the chest and heart. And it's a slow
00:17:07.679 --> 00:17:10.949
progression. And again, it just brings
00:17:10.959 --> 00:17:13.429
builds your awareness
00:17:13.439 --> 00:17:16.230
into your body and you're like, "Oh, she
00:17:16.240 --> 00:17:19.510
said I I was breathing here. I was
00:17:19.520 --> 00:17:22.150
helping her pack. She was moving." And
00:17:22.160 --> 00:17:24.150
you know what is one of the top 10
00:17:24.160 --> 00:17:25.990
stresses in life, right? Packing,
00:17:26.000 --> 00:17:29.110
divorce, all of it. So
00:17:29.120 --> 00:17:31.510
she was holding so much in the juggle of
00:17:31.520 --> 00:17:34.470
packing that just that connection with
00:17:34.480 --> 00:17:36.549
the body and shifting into that
00:17:36.559 --> 00:17:40.070
awareness of the breath, it just shifted
00:17:40.080 --> 00:17:41.909
our whole perspective for the day for
00:17:41.919 --> 00:17:43.669
the morning.
00:17:43.679 --> 00:17:45.750
You know, we don't have to think about
00:17:45.760 --> 00:17:47.270
our breathing. It's part of our
00:17:47.280 --> 00:17:49.110
autonomic nervous system,
00:17:49.120 --> 00:17:51.510
>> right? But by placing an ounce of
00:17:51.520 --> 00:17:54.549
attention onto the breath
00:17:54.559 --> 00:17:58.150
really transforms our awareness.
00:17:58.160 --> 00:18:00.070
And I often say to my girls, you know,
00:18:00.080 --> 00:18:02.870
when they get hurt or, you know, have
00:18:02.880 --> 00:18:04.950
have something that they're wrestling
00:18:04.960 --> 00:18:07.190
with,
00:18:07.200 --> 00:18:08.870
you know, whatever we put our attention
00:18:08.880 --> 00:18:11.029
on grows.
00:18:11.039 --> 00:18:14.070
So draw the breath, connect with the
00:18:14.080 --> 00:18:16.870
breath because that's what's going to
00:18:16.880 --> 00:18:20.310
shift your energy and direct it more
00:18:20.320 --> 00:18:22.630
throughout the body because we all get
00:18:22.640 --> 00:18:25.430
stuck up here and we overprocess and
00:18:25.440 --> 00:18:27.669
overprocess. you know, waking up at
00:18:27.679 --> 00:18:29.110
three in the morning,
00:18:29.120 --> 00:18:31.190
>> then the mind starts turning,
00:18:31.200 --> 00:18:32.789
>> you know, then we're just stuck and then
00:18:32.799 --> 00:18:34.870
it's like we really can't get to sleep
00:18:34.880 --> 00:18:36.710
because we're really wired and we we're
00:18:36.720 --> 00:18:38.390
trying to write all the wrongs and solve
00:18:38.400 --> 00:18:39.430
all the problems and
00:18:39.440 --> 00:18:40.230
>> right,
00:18:40.240 --> 00:18:43.110
>> it doesn't solve the problems often. It
00:18:43.120 --> 00:18:45.430
just gets us more frustrated cuz I'm
00:18:45.440 --> 00:18:49.110
still not sleeping. So placing the hands
00:18:49.120 --> 00:18:52.150
on the body, lying on your bed, you can
00:18:52.160 --> 00:18:54.870
bend the knees as you lie on your back
00:18:54.880 --> 00:18:57.669
to help release the lower back and just
00:18:57.679 --> 00:19:01.350
start to drop back into your breathing.
00:19:01.360 --> 00:19:03.590
Your mind will take you away to that
00:19:03.600 --> 00:19:05.990
thought pattern again, but you'll just
00:19:06.000 --> 00:19:09.110
gently draw it back in. Gently draw it
00:19:09.120 --> 00:19:13.190
back in. And that's the practice is
00:19:13.200 --> 00:19:16.150
making another choice over and over
00:19:16.160 --> 00:19:20.150
again. Finding that pivot point and
00:19:20.160 --> 00:19:24.630
making another decision so that we can
00:19:24.640 --> 00:19:28.070
start to train that muscle to be more
00:19:28.080 --> 00:19:30.230
skillful at
00:19:30.240 --> 00:19:32.390
coming back home.
00:19:32.400 --> 00:19:34.070
Right? Because that coming back home is
00:19:34.080 --> 00:19:35.750
where
00:19:35.760 --> 00:19:38.070
we can shift our relationship to the
00:19:38.080 --> 00:19:41.830
world. Yes. And I like that you said
00:19:41.840 --> 00:19:43.350
it's a practice.
00:19:43.360 --> 00:19:45.750
>> It is not something that we should
00:19:45.760 --> 00:19:48.150
strive for it to be perfect because as
00:19:48.160 --> 00:19:50.470
you said, right, there's always things
00:19:50.480 --> 00:19:52.310
being thrown at us and different
00:19:52.320 --> 00:19:54.710
situations that are arising that we are
00:19:54.720 --> 00:19:56.630
unexpected
00:19:56.640 --> 00:19:58.950
things that even when you expect them,
00:19:58.960 --> 00:20:01.510
they can still cause undue stress even
00:20:01.520 --> 00:20:03.350
though you knew they were coming. Right.
00:20:03.360 --> 00:20:07.590
Yeah. So the practice is just to get
00:20:07.600 --> 00:20:09.830
into the habit of being able to do it.
00:20:09.840 --> 00:20:12.789
So that it, as you said early on, is to
00:20:12.799 --> 00:20:15.590
be able to shift that mindset back into
00:20:15.600 --> 00:20:19.190
a way to feel grounded and at peace with
00:20:19.200 --> 00:20:21.750
yourself and not
00:20:21.760 --> 00:20:24.070
diving into the chaos or accepting all
00:20:24.080 --> 00:20:26.070
of that noise that's coming out at you.
00:20:26.080 --> 00:20:26.470
Right.
00:20:26.480 --> 00:20:27.669
>> Right. Right.
00:20:27.679 --> 00:20:28.149
>> Yeah.
00:20:28.159 --> 00:20:30.950
>> Right. And it's really interesting.
00:20:30.960 --> 00:20:32.789
We're not doing it for anyone else's
00:20:32.799 --> 00:20:35.110
benefit. more ourselves. But the ripple
00:20:35.120 --> 00:20:35.990
effect,
00:20:36.000 --> 00:20:36.549
>> yes,
00:20:36.559 --> 00:20:39.590
>> is really quite cool. And you'll start,
00:20:39.600 --> 00:20:43.270
you might notice that especially family
00:20:43.280 --> 00:20:45.590
members and those close to you sort of
00:20:45.600 --> 00:20:47.190
have that look in their eye like what's
00:20:47.200 --> 00:20:48.789
going on? They're not taking the bait.
00:20:48.799 --> 00:20:50.390
You're not taking the bait, but not
00:20:50.400 --> 00:20:52.789
responding like you normally respond.
00:20:52.799 --> 00:20:55.830
And it's this what's going on? You know,
00:20:55.840 --> 00:20:58.390
it's really interesting because we can
00:20:58.400 --> 00:21:00.950
start to heal relationships
00:21:00.960 --> 00:21:04.870
in just by changing how we are within
00:21:04.880 --> 00:21:06.390
ourselves.
00:21:06.400 --> 00:21:09.350
So, we start to shift how we respond.
00:21:09.360 --> 00:21:13.510
>> That is very true because I am a type A
00:21:13.520 --> 00:21:16.070
kind of person I feel and just
00:21:16.080 --> 00:21:17.750
especially when it comes to work just
00:21:17.760 --> 00:21:20.789
like go go and get have anxiety and
00:21:20.799 --> 00:21:23.830
stress about things, right? And so I'm
00:21:23.840 --> 00:21:27.750
also very tightly uh connected to the
00:21:27.760 --> 00:21:31.190
moon phases I've discovered um through
00:21:31.200 --> 00:21:35.270
my own journeys and just going through
00:21:35.280 --> 00:21:38.549
menopause and all of those. And so I
00:21:38.559 --> 00:21:40.710
started doing a lot of meditation and if
00:21:40.720 --> 00:21:43.510
I don't do the meditation, right, my
00:21:43.520 --> 00:21:46.549
husband can tell that I haven't done it
00:21:46.559 --> 00:21:49.750
in a couple days or even if I'm doing
00:21:49.760 --> 00:21:51.990
the meditation sometimes and I'm so
00:21:52.000 --> 00:21:54.470
tightly connected to the moon's energy
00:21:54.480 --> 00:21:57.590
which is rising, right? My anxiety rises
00:21:57.600 --> 00:22:01.430
and he's like finally he says, "Well,
00:22:01.440 --> 00:22:03.590
uh, it must be the full moon, right?"
00:22:03.600 --> 00:22:05.510
And then I look and it's the full moon.
00:22:05.520 --> 00:22:07.350
I'm like, "Of course it is." So that
00:22:07.360 --> 00:22:09.830
should be an indicator, right, to me as
00:22:09.840 --> 00:22:12.549
an external way to know, okay, yep, I'm
00:22:12.559 --> 00:22:13.909
not going to sleep. I'm going to have
00:22:13.919 --> 00:22:15.830
high anxiety.
00:22:15.840 --> 00:22:18.149
So it still is a practice.
00:22:18.159 --> 00:22:18.789
>> Yeah.
00:22:18.799 --> 00:22:21.750
>> Because I have to continuously do that
00:22:21.760 --> 00:22:25.270
in order to navigate more easily through
00:22:25.280 --> 00:22:27.830
those phases that are occurring every
00:22:27.840 --> 00:22:30.549
month or more often. Right.
00:22:30.559 --> 00:22:31.430
>> Right.
00:22:31.440 --> 00:22:34.070
>> And the more we practice it, the more it
00:22:34.080 --> 00:22:36.549
gets imbued in our being. Yes.
00:22:36.559 --> 00:22:39.270
>> So it's we don't some we don't then get
00:22:39.280 --> 00:22:41.669
stuck on I have to meditate in order to
00:22:41.679 --> 00:22:44.390
be here. We can start to align with that
00:22:44.400 --> 00:22:47.430
energy because it's building within us.
00:22:47.440 --> 00:22:50.149
>> Right. We're resetting our neural neural
00:22:50.159 --> 00:22:51.669
pathways. Right.
00:22:51.679 --> 00:22:53.990
>> Yes. And I love what you said about your
00:22:54.000 --> 00:22:55.430
husband. It's like, you know, this is
00:22:55.440 --> 00:22:59.510
the beauty of a relationship where
00:22:59.520 --> 00:23:02.149
you're in a tune with each other and
00:23:02.159 --> 00:23:04.870
that you you start to feed each other
00:23:04.880 --> 00:23:06.710
and say
00:23:06.720 --> 00:23:09.990
in not feed but inform each other and
00:23:10.000 --> 00:23:12.149
you've given him the cues and he's been
00:23:12.159 --> 00:23:14.870
listening and he's like, "Oh, my love,
00:23:14.880 --> 00:23:16.390
it's the full moon." Do you think that's
00:23:16.400 --> 00:23:19.510
what you know? So there's this beautiful
00:23:19.520 --> 00:23:23.590
respect of I want to support you in in
00:23:23.600 --> 00:23:25.590
helping you be in balance as you help
00:23:25.600 --> 00:23:27.830
me. I'm sure that's reciprocal.
00:23:27.840 --> 00:23:29.029
>> Yes.
00:23:29.039 --> 00:23:30.870
>> That's really wonderful.
00:23:30.880 --> 00:23:32.070
>> Yeah. Yep.
00:23:32.080 --> 00:23:32.390
>> Yeah.
00:23:32.400 --> 00:23:34.390
>> It was a aha moment, I have to say, when
00:23:34.400 --> 00:23:36.230
he was like, "Is it the full moon?" And
00:23:36.240 --> 00:23:38.149
I'm like, "I
00:23:38.159 --> 00:23:40.549
love that." [laughter]
00:23:40.559 --> 00:23:42.630
>> Like, "Thanks for catching that."
00:23:42.640 --> 00:23:45.909
>> Yeah. Yeah. Absolutely. My cat's loving
00:23:45.919 --> 00:23:47.510
the energy. She's like, "I want some of
00:23:47.520 --> 00:23:48.230
this."
00:23:48.240 --> 00:23:49.750
>> Right. That's awesome.
00:23:49.760 --> 00:23:55.430
>> Tail hanging in. Um. Yes. So, the breath
00:23:55.440 --> 00:23:58.070
is such a powerful tool and it's our
00:23:58.080 --> 00:24:01.350
birthright, you know, is
00:24:01.360 --> 00:24:03.350
to bring it back.
00:24:03.360 --> 00:24:05.909
>> Use it every day, right? We just need to
00:24:05.919 --> 00:24:07.990
not control it, but we need to be able
00:24:08.000 --> 00:24:09.909
to learn how to harness it for our
00:24:09.919 --> 00:24:13.510
benefit, right? to get it to the point
00:24:13.520 --> 00:24:17.029
where we can use that in calming our
00:24:17.039 --> 00:24:19.909
nervous system rather than exacerbating.
00:24:19.919 --> 00:24:20.470
>> Yeah.
00:24:20.480 --> 00:24:21.029
>> So,
00:24:21.039 --> 00:24:22.070
>> yeah.
00:24:22.080 --> 00:24:24.230
>> Great grounding technique.
00:24:24.240 --> 00:24:29.190
>> Yeah. And by doing the breath,
00:24:29.200 --> 00:24:32.070
we're also in a moment of stillness.
00:24:32.080 --> 00:24:35.350
And as we build that stillness,
00:24:35.360 --> 00:24:37.909
we start to
00:24:37.919 --> 00:24:40.870
heal the fractured parts of ourselves.
00:24:40.880 --> 00:24:43.350
Right. We all have trauma because that's
00:24:43.360 --> 00:24:45.510
just a part of life. But there are big
00:24:45.520 --> 00:24:47.190
T's and small T's.
00:24:47.200 --> 00:24:48.870
>> Mhm.
00:24:48.880 --> 00:24:51.269
>> But it all
00:24:51.279 --> 00:24:55.830
the trauma that is undigested
00:24:55.840 --> 00:24:58.710
governs our lives because it's in the
00:24:58.720 --> 00:25:01.830
shadows because it's within our
00:25:01.840 --> 00:25:03.269
operating system.
00:25:03.279 --> 00:25:07.430
>> Yes. It it it impacts how we respond to
00:25:07.440 --> 00:25:10.230
the world at large because it's just
00:25:10.240 --> 00:25:12.310
part of our makeup.
00:25:12.320 --> 00:25:15.269
And in cultivating that connection to
00:25:15.279 --> 00:25:18.390
our breath will help us to become more
00:25:18.400 --> 00:25:19.909
aware
00:25:19.919 --> 00:25:22.710
of our triggers.
00:25:22.720 --> 00:25:24.549
Um
00:25:24.559 --> 00:25:26.390
it was interesting. There was a process
00:25:26.400 --> 00:25:31.830
that we met through a training and
00:25:31.840 --> 00:25:34.950
I hit a roadblock and I realized in
00:25:34.960 --> 00:25:37.590
retrospect as I sat with it I wasn't
00:25:37.600 --> 00:25:39.590
able to complete it because I was being
00:25:39.600 --> 00:25:43.110
triggered on many fronts.
00:25:43.120 --> 00:25:48.549
Schooling wasn't easy for me and I sat
00:25:48.559 --> 00:25:51.350
and as I was it was a actually okay let
00:25:51.360 --> 00:25:53.990
me back up in the morning
00:25:54.000 --> 00:25:56.870
we have that pre-week pre-we pre-leep
00:25:56.880 --> 00:25:59.669
state that's what we're cultivating when
00:25:59.679 --> 00:26:01.669
we're in meditation that's what we
00:26:01.679 --> 00:26:03.590
cultivate when we're in our shavasa at
00:26:03.600 --> 00:26:05.269
the end of our yoga class and if you
00:26:05.279 --> 00:26:08.070
practice a restorative yoga that's also
00:26:08.080 --> 00:26:10.789
what we start to practice that pre-wake
00:26:10.799 --> 00:26:14.149
pre-leep state where our subconscious is
00:26:14.159 --> 00:26:17.350
somewhat available to us and I practice
00:26:17.360 --> 00:26:20.310
it often in the mornings when I wake I
00:26:20.320 --> 00:26:23.909
try to slip into that pre-we pre-leep
00:26:23.919 --> 00:26:27.029
state and drop into my higher self and
00:26:27.039 --> 00:26:28.789
have that dialogue of like what do I
00:26:28.799 --> 00:26:31.110
need to do today how do I need to you
00:26:31.120 --> 00:26:33.110
know what are the key things that I want
00:26:33.120 --> 00:26:35.909
to access and get done today so it's not
00:26:35.919 --> 00:26:37.830
from my ego it's not from a pressured
00:26:37.840 --> 00:26:39.909
place but it's from a connection with my
00:26:39.919 --> 00:26:42.070
higher self
00:26:42.080 --> 00:26:45.110
And I had done my day retreat. So I was
00:26:45.120 --> 00:26:46.630
like, now I'm going to focus on
00:26:46.640 --> 00:26:48.870
completing this project.
00:26:48.880 --> 00:26:50.870
And
00:26:50.880 --> 00:26:54.789
I said to myself, what do I need
00:26:54.799 --> 00:26:57.750
to bridge the gap and start to get
00:26:57.760 --> 00:27:01.510
closer to completing this task?
00:27:01.520 --> 00:27:04.230
And it was like, you need someone to do
00:27:04.240 --> 00:27:05.830
this with you. Literally hold your hand
00:27:05.840 --> 00:27:08.789
and break the information down.
00:27:08.799 --> 00:27:10.470
And then my ego came and went, "But
00:27:10.480 --> 00:27:14.070
that's so childish, so childlike." And
00:27:14.080 --> 00:27:17.190
it catapulted me to my childhood.
00:27:17.200 --> 00:27:19.430
And I was like, "Oh, of course." There
00:27:19.440 --> 00:27:21.909
was so much anxiety, so much fear about
00:27:21.919 --> 00:27:24.789
schooling because
00:27:24.799 --> 00:27:26.789
what they call now neurodeivergent.
00:27:26.799 --> 00:27:28.789
Because my mind didn't process the
00:27:28.799 --> 00:27:32.310
information every time exams came. I
00:27:32.320 --> 00:27:33.990
didn't know how to study. I didn't know
00:27:34.000 --> 00:27:36.230
how to sit down and integrate the
00:27:36.240 --> 00:27:38.549
information, digest it.
00:27:38.559 --> 00:27:40.870
you know, be able to process. So every
00:27:40.880 --> 00:27:44.470
time and my mother was busy with life,
00:27:44.480 --> 00:27:47.750
so she didn't see what I needed because
00:27:47.760 --> 00:27:49.909
she's a different person, right?
00:27:49.919 --> 00:27:51.909
>> How can she? And she anticipated other
00:27:51.919 --> 00:27:54.070
things, but that she wasn't able to
00:27:54.080 --> 00:27:56.070
intersect and guide me and nurture me
00:27:56.080 --> 00:27:57.029
through.
00:27:57.039 --> 00:28:01.350
>> Yeah. So it triggered all of that inade
00:28:01.360 --> 00:28:04.470
inadequacy within me of why can't you
00:28:04.480 --> 00:28:06.470
just do something simple to sit down and
00:28:06.480 --> 00:28:11.190
read a book and prepare but I couldn't
00:28:11.200 --> 00:28:14.630
and that course triggered all of that
00:28:14.640 --> 00:28:17.990
fear and anxiety and unworthiness within
00:28:18.000 --> 00:28:22.310
me of what is your pro you know so
00:28:22.320 --> 00:28:24.310
there was this awareness and then it was
00:28:24.320 --> 00:28:27.750
like okay it's just a little girl inside
00:28:27.760 --> 00:28:30.950
who's afraid but she is worthy and she
00:28:30.960 --> 00:28:34.070
is okay and
00:28:34.080 --> 00:28:36.710
that's all right. So changing that
00:28:36.720 --> 00:28:39.750
dialogue, you know, this is this is the
00:28:39.760 --> 00:28:42.070
evolution that we can move towards. The
00:28:42.080 --> 00:28:44.950
more we can create that stillness,
00:28:44.960 --> 00:28:46.470
that's where we start creating more
00:28:46.480 --> 00:28:47.669
safety
00:28:47.679 --> 00:28:49.669
>> with ourselves.
00:28:49.679 --> 00:28:52.310
>> Yep. And it's the self-awareness. And I
00:28:52.320 --> 00:28:54.710
can tell you from us taking that class
00:28:54.720 --> 00:28:58.630
that I also had some triggered anxiety
00:28:58.640 --> 00:29:00.549
similar, right? I was not great in
00:29:00.559 --> 00:29:01.990
school either.
00:29:02.000 --> 00:29:05.110
>> Nor did I have the capacity to you know
00:29:05.120 --> 00:29:08.310
have at home assistance or
00:29:08.320 --> 00:29:11.029
you know the guidance or the foresight
00:29:11.039 --> 00:29:12.710
of my parents that were also working
00:29:12.720 --> 00:29:15.430
different shifts and things. Um and so
00:29:15.440 --> 00:29:19.190
yeah you kind of get that self-doubt of
00:29:19.200 --> 00:29:21.669
>> am I worthy and how can I finish this?
00:29:21.679 --> 00:29:24.149
And I I kept thinking too like I need
00:29:24.159 --> 00:29:26.549
some guidance here like I I wish that I
00:29:26.559 --> 00:29:29.269
had a little bit more uh support going
00:29:29.279 --> 00:29:33.269
into this, right? But it is definitely
00:29:33.279 --> 00:29:36.549
the awareness that helps you to identify
00:29:36.559 --> 00:29:38.470
one that that was something that
00:29:38.480 --> 00:29:41.350
happened a long time ago and now because
00:29:41.360 --> 00:29:44.710
of the awareness we have the capacity to
00:29:44.720 --> 00:29:49.269
say yes that was the inner child and now
00:29:49.279 --> 00:29:52.230
I can I can nurture my inner child.
00:29:52.240 --> 00:29:53.110
>> Right.
00:29:53.120 --> 00:29:56.310
>> Yeah. And we start to unhook.
00:29:56.320 --> 00:29:59.830
>> Yes. And it takes time and it takes that
00:29:59.840 --> 00:30:02.310
that awareness again
00:30:02.320 --> 00:30:04.549
>> on I say it takes time sometimes it can
00:30:04.559 --> 00:30:08.470
happen very fast and it can shift so I
00:30:08.480 --> 00:30:09.990
don't want to put any parameters around
00:30:10.000 --> 00:30:11.750
it because
00:30:11.760 --> 00:30:13.350
I don't want to create limitation in our
00:30:13.360 --> 00:30:14.149
minds right
00:30:14.159 --> 00:30:17.830
>> it can shift fast and whoops we can
00:30:17.840 --> 00:30:20.070
realign and we can just really drop back
00:30:20.080 --> 00:30:24.070
in but it does take this remembering of
00:30:24.080 --> 00:30:27.269
no you're okay my love it's all Right.
00:30:27.279 --> 00:30:27.669
>> Yes.
00:30:27.679 --> 00:30:31.669
>> In that that holding of self and
00:30:31.679 --> 00:30:34.789
learning to reparent ourselves, right?
00:30:34.799 --> 00:30:35.190
>> Yeah.
00:30:35.200 --> 00:30:38.310
>> Doesn't matter if we have kids or not.
00:30:38.320 --> 00:30:40.389
It's that
00:30:40.399 --> 00:30:44.310
awareness of
00:30:44.320 --> 00:30:46.310
filling in the gaps when our parents
00:30:46.320 --> 00:30:48.710
weren't able to
00:30:48.720 --> 00:30:50.630
give us what we needed at the time.
00:30:50.640 --> 00:30:52.149
>> Right? Because these were our life
00:30:52.159 --> 00:30:55.430
lessons that we came in I believe on a
00:30:55.440 --> 00:30:58.389
soul plane certain lessons that we have
00:30:58.399 --> 00:31:01.430
and experiences we have are here for our
00:31:01.440 --> 00:31:03.669
own betterment for our own growth.
00:31:03.679 --> 00:31:07.909
>> Yes. So having
00:31:07.919 --> 00:31:11.750
those for me having that knowledge for
00:31:11.760 --> 00:31:14.310
myself is a comfort
00:31:14.320 --> 00:31:17.350
because I'm like all right
00:31:17.360 --> 00:31:19.830
higher self God show me send me the
00:31:19.840 --> 00:31:22.549
right people give me the inspiration
00:31:22.559 --> 00:31:24.710
show me how to get through this because
00:31:24.720 --> 00:31:26.870
I don't have the tools right now and I'm
00:31:26.880 --> 00:31:29.669
failing and I'm in pain or I'm suff I
00:31:29.679 --> 00:31:31.750
feel like I'm suffering I feel like I'm
00:31:31.760 --> 00:31:33.669
whatever that heightened emotion is
00:31:33.679 --> 00:31:34.149
Right.
00:31:34.159 --> 00:31:34.549
>> Yeah.
00:31:34.559 --> 00:31:37.669
>> That we all have as human beings.
00:31:37.679 --> 00:31:39.110
You know, they say that those people
00:31:39.120 --> 00:31:43.350
with faith have what is it? They have a
00:31:43.360 --> 00:31:45.909
greater sense of security or steadiness
00:31:45.919 --> 00:31:47.990
because they know that there is
00:31:48.000 --> 00:31:49.590
something
00:31:49.600 --> 00:31:52.310
bigger that we're not just on our own.
00:31:52.320 --> 00:31:55.110
And I can relate to that. And I find
00:31:55.120 --> 00:31:57.430
that a great solace to be able to lean
00:31:57.440 --> 00:32:00.950
into my higher self. And I say God, but
00:32:00.960 --> 00:32:03.029
please use any other word that resonates
00:32:03.039 --> 00:32:05.509
with you.
00:32:05.519 --> 00:32:07.190
>> Um,
00:32:07.200 --> 00:32:09.269
but
00:32:09.279 --> 00:32:11.750
yeah, I agree to
00:32:11.760 --> 00:32:14.950
>> tuning in, asking for guidance, plugging
00:32:14.960 --> 00:32:15.909
in.
00:32:15.919 --> 00:32:18.070
>> Yep. And just grounding.
00:32:18.080 --> 00:32:21.830
>> Yeah, just grounding and breathing.
00:32:21.840 --> 00:32:24.870
>> So, this has been so great, Saskia. a
00:32:24.880 --> 00:32:27.750
wonderful conversation on how we can
00:32:27.760 --> 00:32:31.029
feel grounded, feel safe, and be still
00:32:31.039 --> 00:32:34.389
so that we can really nurture our inner
00:32:34.399 --> 00:32:35.350
child.
00:32:35.360 --> 00:32:35.909
>> Yeah.
00:32:35.919 --> 00:32:38.070
>> So, where can our listeners find you,
00:32:38.080 --> 00:32:39.750
Saskia?
00:32:39.760 --> 00:32:42.230
Um, all my information, I believe, will
00:32:42.240 --> 00:32:46.630
be in the description below. Um, I'm on
00:32:46.640 --> 00:32:50.789
Facebook and YouTube and Instagram. Um,
00:32:50.799 --> 00:32:53.269
Saskia Bergman's. My business name is
00:32:53.279 --> 00:32:55.190
devotional goddess because I believe she
00:32:55.200 --> 00:32:57.110
resides in each of us.
00:32:57.120 --> 00:32:57.750
>> Yes.
00:32:57.760 --> 00:32:59.909
>> Just are learning to reconnect with her
00:32:59.919 --> 00:33:03.990
and um yeah, find out who she really is
00:33:04.000 --> 00:33:07.269
and let her shine. So yeah, and there's
00:33:07.279 --> 00:33:11.269
a link tree um information with all my
00:33:11.279 --> 00:33:13.590
retreats and classes and I have an
00:33:13.600 --> 00:33:15.430
upcoming teacher training coming up with
00:33:15.440 --> 00:33:17.350
the yoga spirit lineage
00:33:17.360 --> 00:33:20.230
>> in the fall. So, if anyone local to
00:33:20.240 --> 00:33:21.509
Connecticut is interested,
00:33:21.519 --> 00:33:23.350
>> excellent. And we will put all of your
00:33:23.360 --> 00:33:25.350
contact info in the show notes. So,
00:33:25.360 --> 00:33:27.830
please check that out. And of course,
00:33:27.840 --> 00:33:30.710
for all of our listeners, um, follow us,
00:33:30.720 --> 00:33:32.630
subscribe to our channel so that you
00:33:32.640 --> 00:33:34.789
know when the next episode is coming out
00:33:34.799 --> 00:33:36.630
and you can learn some more Limitless
00:33:36.640 --> 00:33:39.990
Ladies tips and lessons. Um, follow us
00:33:40.000 --> 00:33:42.389
on Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn if
00:33:42.399 --> 00:33:46.149
you're looking for anyone to come in and
00:33:46.159 --> 00:33:49.590
train your ladies group or organization
00:33:49.600 --> 00:33:51.909
specifically on holistic ways for sleep,
00:33:51.919 --> 00:33:54.310
stress, and self-care using some of
00:33:54.320 --> 00:33:56.870
these similar techniques and meditation.
00:33:56.880 --> 00:33:59.750
Uh, setting up sleep sanctuaries,
00:33:59.760 --> 00:34:01.590
identifying what your sleep chronoype is
00:34:01.600 --> 00:34:03.269
so you can work with it versus against
00:34:03.279 --> 00:34:06.230
it. various different things that we can
00:34:06.240 --> 00:34:08.389
help you with so that your ladies can
00:34:08.399 --> 00:34:10.950
truly thrive. Please contact me and
00:34:10.960 --> 00:34:14.069
follow us on our um website
00:34:14.079 --> 00:34:15.750
limitlessladiesnetwork.com
00:34:15.760 --> 00:34:17.750
and you can sign up for our email list
00:34:17.760 --> 00:34:20.149
there where you will also be able to get
00:34:20.159 --> 00:34:22.629
a menopause guide and how you can thrive
00:34:22.639 --> 00:34:25.589
there as well. Thank you everyone. Thank
00:34:25.599 --> 00:34:30.200
you Saskia. Thank you Tammy.