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Speaker 1: Before this episode begins, I just want to let you guys know a little trigger warning because we do talk about pregnancy loss.
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Speaker 2: Hey, guys, welcome back to Let's Be Real.
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Speaker 1: My guest today needs no introduction, but I'll give her one anyway. She's built a fitness empire from nothing, sold it for a huge amount, and then took her back. She's a mama, she's a girl boss, and she's a real deal.
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Speaker 2: Kayla, it's seen us. Welcome to Let's Be Real.
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Speaker 3: Thank you for having me, Yay.
00:00:30
Speaker 2: Thank you for coming in.
00:00:32
Speaker 1: I was just on my stories and I was like, I'm gonna let everyone guess who I have in today, and I was like, when I think of you, I think of mama, girl boss. Thank you like the definition, So let's see who can guess. But honestly, I do like with your business juggling and being a mom of two doing it all. So I want to start off at the beginning. Fitness became your whole career and identity. You've always been that girl or is this.
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Speaker 2: Something that has snuck up on you in terms.
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Speaker 3: Of fitness, always been into fitness. So like, there's not a story that I can say, like, oh, this happened, and then I turned into fitness, and then you know, I always loved sport I was. I played basketball. Then I was a basketball coach, like really really young, like i'd have been like thirteen or fourteen years old, coaching like younger kids. And then all through school I played basketball, did the coaching, and then naturally just moved into personal training. I started beauty therapy because I wanted to get out of school. What I liked about beauty therapy was not so much the beauty part, more the transformation part, the way that it made someone feel. So I was really into transformations with women and making them I love that aha moment, like the physical moment whe they're like, oh my God, and like beauty therapy was that for me. I need did that for a year and then apparently I was terrible at painting now, so it was all over. And then yeah, I went to Universe for a year and then I don't know why, Oh yeah, I wanted to go because my parents made me. I had to because I had to because personal training was not a sustainable career according to the Greeks. And so I did a teaching like I studied education, wanting to be a pe teacher because I just needed to get into sports somewhere and that was like my way in. So that was me.
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Speaker 1: Wow, yeah, that's so funny how you say it to your parents, Like being a pet was in like a real career, because if you think of all careers, like anything can really grow into anything, really like what you've done with the app, like it can grow into all different directions. So you started off training women at the local gym and then in your home in your garage, right, Yeah.
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Speaker 3: So I was at a women's only personal training center, which was really nice. It was a lot of older women, which I didn't love how they were training. It was this very like basic style of training really empower them to do anything. So I kind of just like moved all the equipment out of the way and just started this like Kyler type of training. And in my breaks, I would study how athletes would train. So I would study like the Olympics and how they were training and those exposures you study that we'll not study it, but like like we were sorry that. I feel like maybe it was like I watched it. I studied this. No you saw a TikTok.
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Speaker 1: But now we've got like chat to bet so, I feel like we can like look up things easier, but back then.
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Speaker 3: It was all YouTube. So I would like watch YouTube videos and then I would write down like explosive exercises that were they were doing. I would look at like someone with you know, an incredible a credible physique that they were so strong, and I would write all these exercises down and then I would make like a little circuit and then when they ladies would come in, I would do like a kala style training.
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Speaker 2: Yeah, so it was good. I love that. So you've always been really motivated by the sounds of it.
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Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm motivated by mental and physical transformation, Like I want to make people the best version of themselves.
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Speaker 1: Have you ever come across someone where you couldn't give them a transformation physically?
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Speaker 2: Yeah?
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Speaker 3: No, always, I can always I want you to train me.
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Speaker 2: Are you still taking any So.
00:04:13
Speaker 3: I told this story I went to I was in a cafe one day this lady came over to me and she said, you know, I love everything that you do and I wish I could do it, but I can't walk. And she had like a walker and for some reason, just something I think, I was like, maybe a little bit cocky. I was like, oh, like, why can't you walk? Like you shouldn't ask that, but I just was like really young, and I guess like there was just the first thing that came out of my mouth, and she said, oh I was I was in an accident. I can't exactly remember what she said, but it was something along the lines of like I was in an accident, like I got a really tight muscle, and like I haven't been able to move since. And I was like, oh, I can fix that. And I was so cocky with it, and she was like, no, I haven't been able to like move properly in years. I was like, oh, no, I can fix that. And so I said, come to my house. I don't know why, anyway, I was like, come to my house. So I started with doing these basic stretches and I would stretch out her muscles and we started doing that. I would do like messages on her, stretching on her, and then she came back week and week. Anyway, she ended up doing burpies lunges. She set me flowers every single month to my house for two years straight.
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Speaker 2: Wow. I was like that's incredible.
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Speaker 3: I'm I'm going to change this lady's life and she said, you absolutely changed my life. Yeah, you started with the basics of just stretching.
00:05:28
Speaker 1: Wow, that's very incredible. I wonder where this like confidence and like cockiness like you just said has come from, like just seeing their transformations and being consistent with it and then just believing in yourself.
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Speaker 3: Yeah. I have this weird superpower. I'm able to like see a situation fast forward it. So people were like, oh, you know, this isn't going to happen for me or it's not going to work. I'm like, yes, it is. I don't know, I've always been able to do it. So I think like it was just my superpower of like the transformation. I'm like, you're not an exception to science, Like it's going to make sense. You're going to start training, you're going to eat better, you're going to see results. It's just it is what it is.
00:06:05
Speaker 1: And when it comes to business, are you very clear with decisions Like let's say you're at a cross path and you could go left or right. Because I'm in business as well, and I come to times where I'm very much with my gut feeling like if it doesn't feel right, obviously, I've got to like do the calculations and do the numbers. But if it doesn't feel right to me, I'll like ponder on something and wait to make sure I'm kind of making the right decision.
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Speaker 2: You never know if you are or not.
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Speaker 1: But when it comes to business, do you think you are a good yes?
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Speaker 3: No?
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Speaker 2: Or that will work and that won't work.
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Speaker 3: I am really I'm the same as you. Like I really follow my gus. If something doesn't feel right, it will cause me to pause a lot, question a lot, think about a lot. I'll ask and I'll push back a lot and what about this? And what about this? If something feels right, I'm like, that's sick. That's going to work. It feels good. When it doesn't feel quite right, I'm I have one hundred and one questions. Yeah, And like I really rely on the team around me to like help me. I really really hate it when there might be a situation where I'm like, that's not gonna work, that's not gonna work, that's not gonna work, and I keep saying and they're like no, no, no, no, no, it will it doesn't work. I'm I wish I listened.
00:07:13
Speaker 1: Yeah, I get you, so have you made decisions in business that haven't worked.
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Speaker 3: I mean, like I can't even pinpoint one, but it's all it ends up being like a lesson. I'm like, Okay, that happened, Let's not do that again. Like it could be something so small, like even today, like I'm arguing with not arguing, but like I'm talking to the videographer being like the color grading is off.
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Speaker 2: It's off. It's off.
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Speaker 3: It's off, like it feels off, and I haven't done anything different like reset the settings, reset it all, and it looks perfect. Yeah, I'm like, okay, like let's just go back to basics.
00:07:43
Speaker 2: Let's just like no, I get you.
00:07:45
Speaker 1: So when Instagram came along, I feel like that completely changed the game for you.
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Speaker 2: For a lot of people.
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Speaker 1: Right, it's been crazy because you are like one of the ogs when Instagram.
00:07:57
Speaker 2: Yep. So with that, do you see like.
00:08:01
Speaker 1: The blessing of business how it kind of has helped people prolong like different businesses and.
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Speaker 3: Yeah, so social media is like without it, I would never be where I am today. It gives you the ability to be able to reach people globally, speak globally, to be able to have so many opinions coming from everywhere, so much knowledge coming from everywhere. People see it as such like this, you know, it's it's wrecking our lives, spending too much time. Da da dah. That's fine, but it's also gives small businesses the ability to be able to reach millions, millions of millions overnight.
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Speaker 2: It's incredible.
00:08:39
Speaker 1: Was there ever a moment with Instagram and like you and any of your work or business where you notice like, wow, this can really be a huge thing.
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Speaker 3: Yeah, Like, I mean, I guess it was so long ago, but I think the transformations were the biggest thing. Like those you know progress photos that really like launched to all those I don't know if you ever remember, but like there used to be this huge like you don't know who owned them with they're like gym pages, and they would repost and I think one had like three hundred thousand follows at the time, and they reposted my photo and I had barely any followers, and it just blew up overnight just from this one page. And then it just kept going and I.
00:09:18
Speaker 1: Just didn't start your app after your account was blowing up, Like yeah, kay, this is the reason why it can help assist me grow this business.
00:09:28
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah. It. It came from the community, So it was never an app. It was actually this PDF and it was called BBG, which was BIGINNI Bodyguard. Long story behind that, but so it was this PDF that started at all kickstarted went absolutely viral and then everyone was like, go do an app, Do an app, do an app. So the app originally was called Sweat with Kayler and it was just me, and then I was like, no, I can't do this, like I needed to be other people. I because I played basketball growing up and I was a coach. It was all about team. So I had to be a team effort, not just me and me winning. So the app was sort of the natural progression from BBG.
00:10:07
Speaker 1: So you sold the app for a huge amount in twenty twenty one. What was behind that decision and do you think it was the right decision at the time?
00:10:19
Speaker 3: At the time. It's always at the time, So at the time I felt like the right decision. You're wanting to have that moment that everyone has and that everyone talks about in business where you're able to build a business big enough to be able to sell and align with the right people to be able to grow even bigger, be even bigger whatever it was, and it felt right at the time, and I really searched for that feeling. And remember how I said before, how I was able to fast forward a situation and see that like it's going to work. I couldn't fast forward it and I couldn't see it working. I was like, and I used to I used to say, like, maybe I'm just really nervous, Like maybe it's just that energy of you know, selling a business, and maybe I will have that like moment where I'm like, oh my god, I did it. And I never came that moment really And yeah, so he went popping bottles. I don't drink, but no, I wasn't with mocked House. No, no, I just I remember I specifically remember being by myself and I looked out on my phone and there was a large amount of money and I just went, huh.
00:11:25
Speaker 2: Cool, what do I do now? What did you do after that? Well?
00:11:33
Speaker 3: I guess like nothing. I bought my family like some presents that they wanted, but I kind of had already done that with the first amount of money that I've made. So the first amount of money, which was those PDFs that I made, I actually paid off my parents' house. I bought my dad his dream car, which he still has and he loves it. I bought my mama car, Like I basically just did everything that I wanted to do for my family.
00:11:59
Speaker 1: So when you got the biggest sum, it wasn't like anything tremendously changed.
00:12:04
Speaker 3: You know. I think, like you need to work out, and this is like a big lesson that I learned. It's like, once you what is it like when you say I've got it all? Like I have it all? What does that mean to you? Because some people it means like they've got a billion dollars, they have a yacht, they have a mansion, they have you know, whatever it is. And some people it's like I have a roof over my head. I have a healthy family, like all my grandparents are alive, Like I'm happy and going a few holidays a year, like everyone's healthy. Like you have to work out what that is. And for me, in that moment when I looked at my phone, I already had all my things that I loved. I had like a beautiful family, my grandparents were alive and well, I had like freedom, I like healthy, a healthy kid, Like.
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Speaker 2: Yeah, I had it.
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Speaker 3: So I was kind of like, this wasn't really what I thought it was going to be.
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Speaker 2: Yeah. Do you think money buys happiness buys freedom? Yeah, that's what I say too.
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Speaker 3: Yeah, ys freedom for you to be able to do what you want to do. Definitely.
00:13:13
Speaker 1: Okayl I want to switch it over to a little bit about pregnancy and birth and body. I'm sure we have a lot of listeners listening in that is maybe pregnant or just had a baby. For the longest time, you were dealing with something that your body had no clue what it was. How did you find out that you had endo?
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Speaker 3: So my history with endemitriosis has started when I was really, really young. I was in school and I just had like the worst period pains in the world that was so debilitating. And I went to a doctor and they were like, you might have endometriosis. I had no idea what this was, and he said, look, you know, get prepared and get ready to not be able to have kids. I was like, what, anyway, crazy? I've told this story many times, but anyway, long story shot not for nothing. But it was a male doctor and I was shocked. I went to a female doctor who was much more kind and much more gentle and she said, look, leave it for now, we'll put you on the pill. And like we were reassessed a few years. When I got to about twenty ish, I ended up having my first surgery for endometriosis, which is a very hectic surgery that no one tells you about. Woke up from that surgery in a lot of pain, got told I had moderate endometriosis. I didn't give me a stage, which is weird. And then I had another surgery a long time after twenty twenty, I think was my next surgery from when I was nineteen.
00:14:51
Speaker 1: So when you felt pregnant, were you surprised? No, So I just knew it was going to come weirdly.
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Speaker 3: And I've always wandered. I've had I have endometriosis, and I have adinomiosis, so that is inside the uteral lining as well. So when I'm looking at everyone else that's talking about it, there is like a lot of history of fertility issues with them. For me, I did this thing and I tell everyone to do it, and I don't know whether it's just a coincidence that I did it. But it's called a poppy seed oil flush. It's there is a proper name for it, but in Adelaide it's at a clinic. I think it's called ong. Shout out to you guys. I got this poppy seed oil flush. Both pregnancies were planned. They got a poppy seed oil flush, and then I got pregnant straight away.
00:15:36
Speaker 2: It was like oil flush. So is that, like, what do they do for that?
00:15:41
Speaker 3: It's a medical grade poppy seed oil which is injected into the uterus and the tubes at the end of the tube or whatever. Anyway, so they put them up. They put the oil into your tubes and flush your tubes out. The reason I did this is because one of my friends told me that she tried to fall pregnant for so long only to find out that her tubes were blocked.
00:15:59
Speaker 2: Okay, so it makes sense to flush them out.
00:16:01
Speaker 3: So I just wanted to clean tubes. Yeah, and got pregnant both.
00:16:06
Speaker 1: Okay, Well that's the first I've heard of that. So you had two cesareans as well? Was that elected or.
00:16:13
Speaker 3: I did elect both of them? So I lost a baby before Anna, I'm sorry, sorry sucky. And then so I was super paranoid when I had Arna. So I got scanned every single week and then the way that she was positioned right at the end. My doctors like she was very funny and she was like very chill. She was like, hey, you're probably going to end up an emergency, like if you would like to elect She's like, I'm very good with caesarians. She because like, if you're a little scar, it's all going to be good. She's like, I'm like the queen of this tiny little scar. She made it seem like it was awesome. Anyway, it was awesome. I had Anna, she was perfectly healthy. And then so when it was when it came to Jack's, same doctor, same thing. She's like, I'm going to go over the scar. It's going to be tiny. My scar it is little like this big like it's so small. And it was such a good experience. So both kids were a caesar.
00:17:05
Speaker 2: Yeah.
00:17:06
Speaker 1: Wow, So looking back, would you want to try a natural birth?
00:17:11
Speaker 3: Nope?
00:17:12
Speaker 1: With you were happy with both. I was so happy about if you had another baby. No, I'm still so happy.
00:17:16
Speaker 3: He's still like I really was so fine with that whole process.
00:17:22
Speaker 2: Yeah.
00:17:23
Speaker 3: I think that For example, my sister, she really really really wanted to have a natural birth, and she got told that she was going into like an emergency cesarian, and that was devastating for her. I think if you're prepared, you're like right, okay, And I'm such a control for it. I think having the time, the date, that everything, I know what's going on. I felt really comfortable. Yeah, but like being told halfway through you trying to push a baby out or we're taking to a surgery room.
00:17:49
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's a lot. I want to go back. I've had a pregnancy loss as well. With your anxiety, did you ever like find ways to stress less or stuff not?
00:18:00
Speaker 2: No, think as much about no, do you know what?
00:18:06
Speaker 3: No? I didn't. I was extremely upset, extremely stressed. I didn't really I couldn't really lean on anyone. My family was devastated, and I felt that me talking about it or bring it back up just made everyone even more devastated. It was like eighteen and a bit weeks I knew the gender, like I just kind of just pushed it all down, let it sit there. And I think everything really revealed itself when I got pregnant with Anna, because I was there every week, like scan me, scan me, scam me? Is everything okay? Like scam me, scammy Like like let's just give you a monitor so you can check the harp of yourself. I was like, no, no, I want to see everything. We'll see she's okay. So yeah, didn't me. It didn't no coping mechanism like the jew No.
00:19:01
Speaker 1: I got offered the at home scanning and they just were like, it's an option because I insisted. And then they were like, it's very hard to find it yourself at home, and the baby could be different positions, and then if you don't find the heartbeat and you're not doing it correctly, it can actually stress you out it even more so I was convinced out of it. I only ended up going to the hospital once when I felt like I couldn't feel the heartbeat, so I went in and spent the whole day there. But yeah, it's so weird, like the I kept my pregnancy of social media because I just didn't want like everyone else's like stress on me. So I really just like the whole pregnancy. I feel like I wasn't really even pregnant because I never like spoke about it or I like always hid my bump. I didn't do a baby shower, I didn't like celebrate it. I feel a little bit sad saying that, sorry, that sounds like a little bit sad not celebrating a baby, but I was so nervous. I speak about it all the time, so I don't I know why I'm crying, but I get better with.
00:20:16
Speaker 2: Speaking about it because I do speak about it a lot.
00:20:21
Speaker 1: But yeah, I think I just separated myself from my body so I could just go through the pregnancy as fast as I could without being in the doctors every week and panicking so much. Because with my pregnancy loss, I had felt the baby move a lot, so when there wasn't a heartbeat, it was like what I felt the baby move like that day. So yeah, it was like just separating and like putting emotions to the side as well. And my family was the same, Like everyone was very emotional and like they're also emotionally like looking after them. Yeah, so it was a tough situation. But yeah, I didn't know that you were going into the doctors that often. And it's totally understandable, right, you just want to make sure everything goes to plan and perfect. But at the same time, I have a huge faith and I'm kind of just like I surrender to God and I'm like anything that's going to happen.
00:21:24
Speaker 2: Is going to happen.
00:21:25
Speaker 1: Regardless if I was to like go and check or panic or do extra checks or anything, It's going to happen. And I think that's really helped me with a lot of things in my life. I just even like just anything with the kids and stuff, I'm always like, what's going to happen, is going to happen, you know, So I just surrender.
00:21:49
Speaker 2: I'm really sorry to hear about your life.
00:21:50
Speaker 3: Hey, I actually want to say something which has actually made me christ I might as well just say it's good David.
00:21:58
Speaker 2: So much to day is so.
00:22:01
Speaker 3: I actually knew about your lass and I guess this is more like an apology because I would hate this. But when you posted about yours, I used to follow you, and I like, not only did I unfollow you, I like blocked you completely, and not because you did anything wrong, but because yours was so triggering, And then I had to later once I like healed, I guess I didn't heal, but then I unblocked you because I just thought that wasn't fair. But at the time, it was so hard to see your stuff and I was like, I can't do this and it's so normal. My god, I'm cry so much. It's so normal to like try and like remove those tree. I'm really bad with it. Like, so when yours happened, I was like, nah, like I can't do this, and it really I don't know why you, of all people spiraled like really spiraled me, like it shook me to my core. And I guess like the algorithm knows hey, and it just sort of like serves you what you're talking about. It's so weird because I didn't put it online and didn't tell anyone, and I thought I was so fine until you popped up and your story and I just couldn't get rid of you fast enough, which is so horrible. And I'm so sorry because it's like not that you knew me, but it was just one less person, like and that's why you don't want to feel like when you lose a baby, you don't want to be that person that's like a burden or triggering. And like, I guess that's why when we don't talk about it, it's like, why didn't you talk about it? It's like because yes, it might help some people, but it also triggers the out of so many women.
00:23:54
Speaker 2: You don't have to be sorry at all.
00:23:56
Speaker 1: I understand that completely, and I think it's like even even me posting about it, well, obviously I had to because I had I was thirty weeks pregnant. You can't just then disappear and not say anything. But even me putting it out there, I understood that it's really scary because you don't often see it. So I totally get that you don't have to be sorry at all. It's totally valid. And I hope even you sharing your story now like helps people, you know, like, because once I did share it, I realized, wow, it actually is so common. I actually said to my mother in law had a still birth and remember telling me, and I was like that one must have been in the olden days, like that doesn't happen anymore. I said those words to her, and I was so sad for and I said, I'm so sorry, but I don't think that happens anymore. And then it happened to me, So I just feel like sharing my story. And then I had so many messages of people and like, so many people who have gone through the same thing and even further along and you know, the worst situations that I felt that I had to share it more.
00:25:16
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's so.
00:25:17
Speaker 1: Connected so many women, so I think you sharing your story to is the same.
00:25:22
Speaker 3: Yeah, and that the same, right, Like if someone doesn't want to listen to this or it feels super triggering or they are like I can't do this, like that's fine as well. I think like there's space for that, and like if you're not ready, then you're not ready. And I think it took me so long, which sounds so like modern day being like unblocked you, but like.
00:25:40
Speaker 2: Have you followed me back?
00:25:43
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's good. I think I saw you talk about it. It was like ages a woman like ages after, I guess. And then I was like, oh wait, like I plopped her for losing a baby, which is because it was so triggering for me, and I guess that like I was like, that's so unfair to not have the support that you deserve.
00:26:10
Speaker 1: So it's may but yeah, totally don't need to apologize and I get it, and like you said, it can be very triggering and it's okay for people to go, Okay, look that's too much. I can't deal with that, and maybe later on they might want to revisit it. So well, thank you for being so vulnerable, Kayla, Like, where do I even go into now?
00:26:36
Speaker 3: And then stop?
00:26:37
Speaker 2: Put it hold out?
00:26:38
Speaker 3: That's what I always say.
00:26:40
Speaker 1: Seriously, Well, okay, I want to talk just one more a bit about your cesarean because I find that really I want to hear your perspective with getting back fit after cesarean, because apparently you're not meant to exercise, you're not meant to move around. You can you not know? And how did you find that? Because you're a very physical fit girl.
00:27:01
Speaker 3: Yes. So Luckily for me, I was already in the fitness industry, so I understood the what happens if you go and train with an injury when you're given a certain amount of weeks. So a Cnerian is essentially a major surgery, so you are in fact injured, you are post surgery. You need to give yourself at least six weeks before you can do anything. And when I say anything, I mean anything. Don't get a sponge and wipe your kitchen bench, Like, don't go and try and lift something from the top cupboard. You should keep your arms like a t rex like for six weeks. That's what I always say to people, because as soon as you go and stretch or you're gonna move. You think you're okay. Your system is trying to repair and rebuild, and you're not able to do that unless you have the foundations. And the foundations need to be set and then not set for at least six weeks from the six week mark. You need clearance from the doctor, and then you need to work with a healthcare professional. I think for another six weeks if you can, so that is seeing a physio or someone to be able to assess your body and where you're at. And then after three months, welcome back to the gym. Until then, just let your body heal. So many women after a cesarean three or four weeks will come to me and say, you know, I feel so this. Yeah, just leave it please. And I know some people they're able to go back into the gym. They might be athletes before their bodies have healed incredibly. I still think that six week is so important, that six week mark.
00:28:37
Speaker 2: So how did you do waiting the six weeks?
00:28:40
Speaker 1: Like?
00:28:40
Speaker 2: Was that difficult forp? No? No? I really enjoy the rest.
00:28:46
Speaker 3: Oh, I definitely didn't. So if I can't physically move mentally, I will move so like I turned my house into like a milk production studio where I would pump every four hours, I put it in the fridge, I would label it. I would make sure everything is perfect, everything is clean, everything is washed, everything is like everything had to be mentally in order. So I felt like I was physically working. Otherwise I would have just sat there and like hmm, like I hated it.
00:29:15
Speaker 1: So you needed to keep busy with something something, But you're okay, feeling, I guess not in the best shape.
00:29:22
Speaker 2: Like what we're like after we.
00:29:24
Speaker 3: Have a baby, like I was.
00:29:26
Speaker 1: I've looked back at photos and you're like that water retention and it looks like you're still you know, three to six months pregnant, and well that was me. I was not like that bounced back, you know abs.
00:29:38
Speaker 2: So I've not got anything back.
00:29:39
Speaker 3: But you're you're realistic, You're you're in this like you know the people that are you see with standing there with abs after they've had just had their kids, that's like the one not even a one percent. Like you're in this bucket of Yes, you feel like you have retention from inflammation because you've had a major surgery or you've pushed out a baby. Yeah, you're gonna feel weird up to a year.
00:30:06
Speaker 1: Yeah, I only feel like it takes longer than a year. Oh two years for me, Yeah, two years for me too. I was saying that to some other friends the other day. I'm like, I only, well, not now, but like a while ago, I was like, I only just felt like I'm back to myself with like my hormones and like my body and just feeling like me again.
00:30:24
Speaker 2: Yeah, Like it takes time.
00:30:25
Speaker 1: And I think women need to really like just not have that like pressure on themselves to like be bouncing back.
00:30:33
Speaker 3: Yeah, like the pressure needs to not be there. But also you need to be so aware of your hormones, like and it's so hard because for me, you know, I have a husband who has this like natural flow of hormones that don't fluctuate whatsoever. So he feels to me like he's really steady, everything's really easy. And I feel at the point of giving birth three or four days and I felt insane. Your milk comes in, everything drops you, balling your eyes that you have no idea for having like these like waterline panic attacks every two seconds, and then it just like randomly happens again and again. If you're breastbitting you feel crazy. I know you actually do, and you really need to be so aware of that. And like, listen to other women when they say, like, this is a hard time, You're not going to feel like you because you're not.
00:31:33
Speaker 1: So now you're a mom of two, which is amazing. How do you like, how do you run a business and parent?
00:31:42
Speaker 2: Like? Is there any tips or secrets that's so funny? Can share?
00:31:47
Speaker 1: What type of parent are you? Like a very hands on mummy or you like you're the one at work? Like I was speaking to a lady yesterday here owns this big business and she just said she never had the urge to be a stay at home mom. She said her husband was that guy nurturing with the kids, and she said it didn't fulfill me. And she just explained that to the kids since she said, I want to be out here working and being a CEO boss and I'm still here. I'm still going to be at all the important things for you, but this is what I love to do.
00:32:18
Speaker 2: And I thought that was so cool.
00:32:20
Speaker 1: I was like, she was such a boss chick that just her kids were looked after and have this amazing relationship. But she knew that she needed fulfillment elsewhere.
00:32:29
Speaker 3: Yeah. No, I can relate to that. I can relate to both. What I have, which a lot of people don't have, is help, so much help. I have such a big family. I genuinely I laugh. I look back at like when I had Ana and I said to my mom, Mom, give her to me, Like I'm sitting here, give her to me. She's not going to know that I'm herm. You keep stealing her from the second I wake up. You're here, like, give me the baby. Like my mom was so excited. My grandma was like, my grandma is alive. Mother, Grandma came over all the time. My sister obsessed so like with Anna, there were people left, right and center, and so much help. My mom loves cooking, Lea loves cooking, and I got food. It was like my life got better. My life got better. When I had a bad I felt like I was just in at five star hotel and I had all these things coming at me. And then when I had Jack's it was kind of similar. My kids have always grown up with so much help around them, And I'm not gonna lie. When I moved to the Gold Coast, the first thing I looked for because my husband obviously also works is a nanny, and I was like, okay, Like, how do I get someone to come and help with my kids? Like, I'm still going to be there. I'm working from home. I can still see them, but I need someone to be able to like I don't want to be that mom that's working, Like sorry, I can't, Like I'm at a meeting. It's like I want to go to bounce. Okay, great, go, Like there's someone there to take them, do you know.
00:33:52
Speaker 1: What I mean?
00:33:53
Speaker 3: So I never shy away from the fact that I get help, but I'm also.
00:33:59
Speaker 2: Text of takes a village, that's for sure.
00:34:02
Speaker 1: So with juggling a business and the kids, what does that day today actually look like for you? Do you have moments where you are with the kids and you switch off from work or is because when you have your own business, it's kind of around the clock, right, But do you try to separate it or you just mix the two together.
00:34:20
Speaker 3: I can't just mush the two together. So like right now, my business manager, who's sitting on the left side of me you can't see, is Lannie. But she's also my best friend, so like, and we've been friends for like fifteen years or something like that, and so she's like auntie but like manager and like so we'll be like with the kids and like she'll be but also like can we talk about this? So it's kind of like we sort of mush.
00:34:43
Speaker 2: It all in.
00:34:44
Speaker 3: Yeah, it never sort of switches off. But it's also a fun job as well. It's not like a corporate job like that requires I don't know this, Like it's not a corporate world. It's health and fitness and tech.
00:34:57
Speaker 2: So it's fun.
00:34:58
Speaker 1: Yeah, and you love what you do, so love that's always a huge bonus. So you've achieved everything that society tells women to want, the body, the business, the babies, the husband. Do you actually feel like you have it all? Or is that just what we see from the outside looking in.
00:35:15
Speaker 3: No, I genuinely feel like I have it all. But that's again it's what does like the ultimate life look like to you? Like healthy kids, once you've had like a loss of a kid, you're a healthy kid. You're like, I'm happy. Yeah, you're healthy. I'm happy, a roof over your head, a beautiful family, like I think that for me, I'm like, okay, if I was to die tomorrow, God forbid. But if I was to die tomorrow, I'm happy where I left, like my life and how far I've come in my life and what I've achieved. And I think that's really like what drives me every day, Like that transformation for women, like I want them to be independent. I want them to have the body and the husband and the life and the kids if they want them that they want, like, I want them to have that. But it all starts with that confidence. That confidence is like absolute key to be able to get the life that you want.
00:36:11
Speaker 1: And is there a tip for anyone listening that has zero confidence to getting that confidence in themselves?
00:36:20
Speaker 3: To be honest, I mean there's so many. I think you have to definitely throw yourself in the deepen. I think you take a nice deep breath and chuck yourself in the deepen is probably my biggest tip. It comes from learnings. I did podcast actually with someone and I said to her, how do you get your confidence and where do you get it from? And she said, honestly, And it was the funniest response because I never thought anyone responded this. She goes, I just walk into a room and I pretend I'm a white corporate man in a suit and I just act accordingly. And I'm like, wait, what, Like I've never thought of it that way. But she's like, that's just what I've had to do and that's like the level I've had to get to to get the confidence. I was like, right, Like, that's definitely not the advice that I would give, but it's always stuck with me, and I thought it was funny. Yeah, but it's it is a big It is a big acting game at the start, like you have to chuck yourself on the deep end and just go from there. So yet, yeah, you know when you're like going to do something new and like it makes you a bit nervous if you feel like a bit giddy or like a bit nervous. Like that feeling I actually love because I'm like, I'm gonna do something that's like pushing myself outside of my comfort zone, like I feel nervous about it, like I'm growing. Yeah, so I encourage the same thing, totally pushing yourself out there. Totally being nervous is different. I always head to people when you're nervous, the best thing you can do is announce that you're nervous. That will bring the entire like the feeling in your body down, but the room will understand. Like if you say, like, hey, how are you feeling today, and I'll say nervous to be honest, like I'm really nervous, Like that's okay, that's fine. You have to be like I feel amazing, I'm so confident, strong, Like you can say like a little bit nervous to be honest, like, I know I've done this a lot of times, but I'm nervous. Yeah, you know, I'm nervous coming in to have a conversation with you. I don't know what you're gonna ask me. I don't know how one of these mom a boy sitting here crying? Yeah, like you know what I mean. So it's okay to say that, like be so honest with your feelings.
00:38:22
Speaker 1: Yeah as well, You're okay to feel different feelings, yeah as well. Okay, So if there's any woman listening right now, carrying something heavy and trying to hold it together, what advice would you give?
00:38:40
Speaker 3: Well, the advice it depends, Like I think it's heavy ast relative depending on what's going on. I think allow yourself to feel the feelings that you are feeling and speak openly about them, whether you are nervous, or you're angry, or you're embarrassed or you're sad. Like I think openly saying I feel blah is really helpful talking to people around you with the same experiences, but say starting with hey, I don't want your opinion, I just want to vent, or hey I don't want to vent, I want your opinion. I think like being really clear with what you want and giving yourself a little bit of grace and a little bit of space and whatever makes you feel good. Do that. So, for example, today I was going to have I was on the brink of a mental freaking breakdown because something was annoying me so much, and I was like, what makes me feel good? What has always made me feel good in my life? Going for a drive my car with the loudest music possible sounds so dumb, but I was like, I got out of my car, I was like, I feel way better, Like small little things. It might be having a tea, going for a walk, going into a polities class, or doing nothing at all. Just knowing really yourself and what makes you feel good. And I think that's really hard with women because sometimes the heaviness is that they've lost their sense of self. They don't know what makes them feel good anymore, they don't know what makes them happy anymore.
00:40:04
Speaker 2: They don't know.
00:40:05
Speaker 3: Anything about themselves. And that's the heaviness, And that's where you really need to reconnect and say, what did I used to do? Where? Where did the what would the old me say? What would I say to my younger self? A lot of that sort of talk.
00:40:18
Speaker 1: Yeah, I love that advice. Well, thank you so much, Cayla for coming on the pod. I definitely did not expect to be bullowing my eyes out over here with you blucked and blucked and unblucked, but no, that's been so real and vulnerable, and I feel like I just became so close with you, Like, but you're really inspiring girls, So I'm really happy that the listener's got to hear your story and everything you share.
00:40:48
Speaker 2: So thank you so much for coming on the pod.
00:40:50
Speaker 3: Thank you
Speaker 1: Before this episode begins, I just want to let you guys know a little trigger warning because we do talk about pregnancy loss.
00:00:09
Speaker 2: Hey, guys, welcome back to Let's Be Real.
00:00:11
Speaker 1: My guest today needs no introduction, but I'll give her one anyway. She's built a fitness empire from nothing, sold it for a huge amount, and then took her back. She's a mama, she's a girl boss, and she's a real deal.
00:00:25
Speaker 2: Kayla, it's seen us. Welcome to Let's Be Real.
00:00:28
Speaker 3: Thank you for having me, Yay.
00:00:30
Speaker 2: Thank you for coming in.
00:00:32
Speaker 1: I was just on my stories and I was like, I'm gonna let everyone guess who I have in today, and I was like, when I think of you, I think of mama, girl boss. Thank you like the definition, So let's see who can guess. But honestly, I do like with your business juggling and being a mom of two doing it all. So I want to start off at the beginning. Fitness became your whole career and identity. You've always been that girl or is this.
00:01:03
Speaker 2: Something that has snuck up on you in terms.
00:01:07
Speaker 3: Of fitness, always been into fitness. So like, there's not a story that I can say, like, oh, this happened, and then I turned into fitness, and then you know, I always loved sport I was. I played basketball. Then I was a basketball coach, like really really young, like i'd have been like thirteen or fourteen years old, coaching like younger kids. And then all through school I played basketball, did the coaching, and then naturally just moved into personal training. I started beauty therapy because I wanted to get out of school. What I liked about beauty therapy was not so much the beauty part, more the transformation part, the way that it made someone feel. So I was really into transformations with women and making them I love that aha moment, like the physical moment whe they're like, oh my God, and like beauty therapy was that for me. I need did that for a year and then apparently I was terrible at painting now, so it was all over. And then yeah, I went to Universe for a year and then I don't know why, Oh yeah, I wanted to go because my parents made me. I had to because I had to because personal training was not a sustainable career according to the Greeks. And so I did a teaching like I studied education, wanting to be a pe teacher because I just needed to get into sports somewhere and that was like my way in. So that was me.
00:02:26
Speaker 1: Wow, yeah, that's so funny how you say it to your parents, Like being a pet was in like a real career, because if you think of all careers, like anything can really grow into anything, really like what you've done with the app, like it can grow into all different directions. So you started off training women at the local gym and then in your home in your garage, right, Yeah.
00:02:49
Speaker 3: So I was at a women's only personal training center, which was really nice. It was a lot of older women, which I didn't love how they were training. It was this very like basic style of training really empower them to do anything. So I kind of just like moved all the equipment out of the way and just started this like Kyler type of training. And in my breaks, I would study how athletes would train. So I would study like the Olympics and how they were training and those exposures you study that we'll not study it, but like like we were sorry that. I feel like maybe it was like I watched it. I studied this. No you saw a TikTok.
00:03:21
Speaker 1: But now we've got like chat to bet so, I feel like we can like look up things easier, but back then.
00:03:25
Speaker 3: It was all YouTube. So I would like watch YouTube videos and then I would write down like explosive exercises that were they were doing. I would look at like someone with you know, an incredible a credible physique that they were so strong, and I would write all these exercises down and then I would make like a little circuit and then when they ladies would come in, I would do like a kala style training.
00:03:47
Speaker 2: Yeah, so it was good. I love that. So you've always been really motivated by the sounds of it.
00:03:53
Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm motivated by mental and physical transformation, Like I want to make people the best version of themselves.
00:04:01
Speaker 1: Have you ever come across someone where you couldn't give them a transformation physically?
00:04:05
Speaker 2: Yeah?
00:04:06
Speaker 3: No, always, I can always I want you to train me.
00:04:11
Speaker 2: Are you still taking any So.
00:04:13
Speaker 3: I told this story I went to I was in a cafe one day this lady came over to me and she said, you know, I love everything that you do and I wish I could do it, but I can't walk. And she had like a walker and for some reason, just something I think, I was like, maybe a little bit cocky. I was like, oh, like, why can't you walk? Like you shouldn't ask that, but I just was like really young, and I guess like there was just the first thing that came out of my mouth, and she said, oh I was I was in an accident. I can't exactly remember what she said, but it was something along the lines of like I was in an accident, like I got a really tight muscle, and like I haven't been able to move since. And I was like, oh, I can fix that. And I was so cocky with it, and she was like, no, I haven't been able to like move properly in years. I was like, oh, no, I can fix that. And so I said, come to my house. I don't know why, anyway, I was like, come to my house. So I started with doing these basic stretches and I would stretch out her muscles and we started doing that. I would do like messages on her, stretching on her, and then she came back week and week. Anyway, she ended up doing burpies lunges. She set me flowers every single month to my house for two years straight.
00:05:20
Speaker 2: Wow. I was like that's incredible.
00:05:22
Speaker 3: I'm I'm going to change this lady's life and she said, you absolutely changed my life. Yeah, you started with the basics of just stretching.
00:05:28
Speaker 1: Wow, that's very incredible. I wonder where this like confidence and like cockiness like you just said has come from, like just seeing their transformations and being consistent with it and then just believing in yourself.
00:05:43
Speaker 3: Yeah. I have this weird superpower. I'm able to like see a situation fast forward it. So people were like, oh, you know, this isn't going to happen for me or it's not going to work. I'm like, yes, it is. I don't know, I've always been able to do it. So I think like it was just my superpower of like the transformation. I'm like, you're not an exception to science, Like it's going to make sense. You're going to start training, you're going to eat better, you're going to see results. It's just it is what it is.
00:06:05
Speaker 1: And when it comes to business, are you very clear with decisions Like let's say you're at a cross path and you could go left or right. Because I'm in business as well, and I come to times where I'm very much with my gut feeling like if it doesn't feel right, obviously, I've got to like do the calculations and do the numbers. But if it doesn't feel right to me, I'll like ponder on something and wait to make sure I'm kind of making the right decision.
00:06:29
Speaker 2: You never know if you are or not.
00:06:30
Speaker 1: But when it comes to business, do you think you are a good yes?
00:06:34
Speaker 3: No?
00:06:34
Speaker 2: Or that will work and that won't work.
00:06:37
Speaker 3: I am really I'm the same as you. Like I really follow my gus. If something doesn't feel right, it will cause me to pause a lot, question a lot, think about a lot. I'll ask and I'll push back a lot and what about this? And what about this? If something feels right, I'm like, that's sick. That's going to work. It feels good. When it doesn't feel quite right, I'm I have one hundred and one questions. Yeah, And like I really rely on the team around me to like help me. I really really hate it when there might be a situation where I'm like, that's not gonna work, that's not gonna work, that's not gonna work, and I keep saying and they're like no, no, no, no, no, it will it doesn't work. I'm I wish I listened.
00:07:13
Speaker 1: Yeah, I get you, so have you made decisions in business that haven't worked.
00:07:20
Speaker 3: I mean, like I can't even pinpoint one, but it's all it ends up being like a lesson. I'm like, Okay, that happened, Let's not do that again. Like it could be something so small, like even today, like I'm arguing with not arguing, but like I'm talking to the videographer being like the color grading is off.
00:07:34
Speaker 2: It's off. It's off.
00:07:34
Speaker 3: It's off, like it feels off, and I haven't done anything different like reset the settings, reset it all, and it looks perfect. Yeah, I'm like, okay, like let's just go back to basics.
00:07:43
Speaker 2: Let's just like no, I get you.
00:07:45
Speaker 1: So when Instagram came along, I feel like that completely changed the game for you.
00:07:51
Speaker 2: For a lot of people.
00:07:52
Speaker 1: Right, it's been crazy because you are like one of the ogs when Instagram.
00:07:57
Speaker 2: Yep. So with that, do you see like.
00:08:01
Speaker 1: The blessing of business how it kind of has helped people prolong like different businesses and.
00:08:08
Speaker 3: Yeah, so social media is like without it, I would never be where I am today. It gives you the ability to be able to reach people globally, speak globally, to be able to have so many opinions coming from everywhere, so much knowledge coming from everywhere. People see it as such like this, you know, it's it's wrecking our lives, spending too much time. Da da dah. That's fine, but it's also gives small businesses the ability to be able to reach millions, millions of millions overnight.
00:08:38
Speaker 2: It's incredible.
00:08:39
Speaker 1: Was there ever a moment with Instagram and like you and any of your work or business where you notice like, wow, this can really be a huge thing.
00:08:50
Speaker 3: Yeah, Like, I mean, I guess it was so long ago, but I think the transformations were the biggest thing. Like those you know progress photos that really like launched to all those I don't know if you ever remember, but like there used to be this huge like you don't know who owned them with they're like gym pages, and they would repost and I think one had like three hundred thousand follows at the time, and they reposted my photo and I had barely any followers, and it just blew up overnight just from this one page. And then it just kept going and I.
00:09:18
Speaker 1: Just didn't start your app after your account was blowing up, Like yeah, kay, this is the reason why it can help assist me grow this business.
00:09:28
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah. It. It came from the community, So it was never an app. It was actually this PDF and it was called BBG, which was BIGINNI Bodyguard. Long story behind that, but so it was this PDF that started at all kickstarted went absolutely viral and then everyone was like, go do an app, Do an app, do an app. So the app originally was called Sweat with Kayler and it was just me, and then I was like, no, I can't do this, like I needed to be other people. I because I played basketball growing up and I was a coach. It was all about team. So I had to be a team effort, not just me and me winning. So the app was sort of the natural progression from BBG.
00:10:07
Speaker 1: So you sold the app for a huge amount in twenty twenty one. What was behind that decision and do you think it was the right decision at the time?
00:10:19
Speaker 3: At the time. It's always at the time, So at the time I felt like the right decision. You're wanting to have that moment that everyone has and that everyone talks about in business where you're able to build a business big enough to be able to sell and align with the right people to be able to grow even bigger, be even bigger whatever it was, and it felt right at the time, and I really searched for that feeling. And remember how I said before, how I was able to fast forward a situation and see that like it's going to work. I couldn't fast forward it and I couldn't see it working. I was like, and I used to I used to say, like, maybe I'm just really nervous, Like maybe it's just that energy of you know, selling a business, and maybe I will have that like moment where I'm like, oh my god, I did it. And I never came that moment really And yeah, so he went popping bottles. I don't drink, but no, I wasn't with mocked House. No, no, I just I remember I specifically remember being by myself and I looked out on my phone and there was a large amount of money and I just went, huh.
00:11:25
Speaker 2: Cool, what do I do now? What did you do after that? Well?
00:11:33
Speaker 3: I guess like nothing. I bought my family like some presents that they wanted, but I kind of had already done that with the first amount of money that I've made. So the first amount of money, which was those PDFs that I made, I actually paid off my parents' house. I bought my dad his dream car, which he still has and he loves it. I bought my mama car, Like I basically just did everything that I wanted to do for my family.
00:11:59
Speaker 1: So when you got the biggest sum, it wasn't like anything tremendously changed.
00:12:04
Speaker 3: You know. I think, like you need to work out, and this is like a big lesson that I learned. It's like, once you what is it like when you say I've got it all? Like I have it all? What does that mean to you? Because some people it means like they've got a billion dollars, they have a yacht, they have a mansion, they have you know, whatever it is. And some people it's like I have a roof over my head. I have a healthy family, like all my grandparents are alive, Like I'm happy and going a few holidays a year, like everyone's healthy. Like you have to work out what that is. And for me, in that moment when I looked at my phone, I already had all my things that I loved. I had like a beautiful family, my grandparents were alive and well, I had like freedom, I like healthy, a healthy kid, Like.
00:12:46
Speaker 2: Yeah, I had it.
00:12:47
Speaker 3: So I was kind of like, this wasn't really what I thought it was going to be.
00:12:51
Speaker 2: Yeah. Do you think money buys happiness buys freedom? Yeah, that's what I say too.
00:12:57
Speaker 3: Yeah, ys freedom for you to be able to do what you want to do. Definitely.
00:13:13
Speaker 1: Okayl I want to switch it over to a little bit about pregnancy and birth and body. I'm sure we have a lot of listeners listening in that is maybe pregnant or just had a baby. For the longest time, you were dealing with something that your body had no clue what it was. How did you find out that you had endo?
00:13:33
Speaker 3: So my history with endemitriosis has started when I was really, really young. I was in school and I just had like the worst period pains in the world that was so debilitating. And I went to a doctor and they were like, you might have endometriosis. I had no idea what this was, and he said, look, you know, get prepared and get ready to not be able to have kids. I was like, what, anyway, crazy? I've told this story many times, but anyway, long story shot not for nothing. But it was a male doctor and I was shocked. I went to a female doctor who was much more kind and much more gentle and she said, look, leave it for now, we'll put you on the pill. And like we were reassessed a few years. When I got to about twenty ish, I ended up having my first surgery for endometriosis, which is a very hectic surgery that no one tells you about. Woke up from that surgery in a lot of pain, got told I had moderate endometriosis. I didn't give me a stage, which is weird. And then I had another surgery a long time after twenty twenty, I think was my next surgery from when I was nineteen.
00:14:51
Speaker 1: So when you felt pregnant, were you surprised? No, So I just knew it was going to come weirdly.
00:14:59
Speaker 3: And I've always wandered. I've had I have endometriosis, and I have adinomiosis, so that is inside the uteral lining as well. So when I'm looking at everyone else that's talking about it, there is like a lot of history of fertility issues with them. For me, I did this thing and I tell everyone to do it, and I don't know whether it's just a coincidence that I did it. But it's called a poppy seed oil flush. It's there is a proper name for it, but in Adelaide it's at a clinic. I think it's called ong. Shout out to you guys. I got this poppy seed oil flush. Both pregnancies were planned. They got a poppy seed oil flush, and then I got pregnant straight away.
00:15:36
Speaker 2: It was like oil flush. So is that, like, what do they do for that?
00:15:41
Speaker 3: It's a medical grade poppy seed oil which is injected into the uterus and the tubes at the end of the tube or whatever. Anyway, so they put them up. They put the oil into your tubes and flush your tubes out. The reason I did this is because one of my friends told me that she tried to fall pregnant for so long only to find out that her tubes were blocked.
00:15:59
Speaker 2: Okay, so it makes sense to flush them out.
00:16:01
Speaker 3: So I just wanted to clean tubes. Yeah, and got pregnant both.
00:16:06
Speaker 1: Okay, Well that's the first I've heard of that. So you had two cesareans as well? Was that elected or.
00:16:13
Speaker 3: I did elect both of them? So I lost a baby before Anna, I'm sorry, sorry sucky. And then so I was super paranoid when I had Arna. So I got scanned every single week and then the way that she was positioned right at the end. My doctors like she was very funny and she was like very chill. She was like, hey, you're probably going to end up an emergency, like if you would like to elect She's like, I'm very good with caesarians. She because like, if you're a little scar, it's all going to be good. She's like, I'm like the queen of this tiny little scar. She made it seem like it was awesome. Anyway, it was awesome. I had Anna, she was perfectly healthy. And then so when it was when it came to Jack's, same doctor, same thing. She's like, I'm going to go over the scar. It's going to be tiny. My scar it is little like this big like it's so small. And it was such a good experience. So both kids were a caesar.
00:17:05
Speaker 2: Yeah.
00:17:06
Speaker 1: Wow, So looking back, would you want to try a natural birth?
00:17:11
Speaker 3: Nope?
00:17:12
Speaker 1: With you were happy with both. I was so happy about if you had another baby. No, I'm still so happy.
00:17:16
Speaker 3: He's still like I really was so fine with that whole process.
00:17:22
Speaker 2: Yeah.
00:17:23
Speaker 3: I think that For example, my sister, she really really really wanted to have a natural birth, and she got told that she was going into like an emergency cesarian, and that was devastating for her. I think if you're prepared, you're like right, okay, And I'm such a control for it. I think having the time, the date, that everything, I know what's going on. I felt really comfortable. Yeah, but like being told halfway through you trying to push a baby out or we're taking to a surgery room.
00:17:49
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's a lot. I want to go back. I've had a pregnancy loss as well. With your anxiety, did you ever like find ways to stress less or stuff not?
00:18:00
Speaker 2: No, think as much about no, do you know what?
00:18:06
Speaker 3: No? I didn't. I was extremely upset, extremely stressed. I didn't really I couldn't really lean on anyone. My family was devastated, and I felt that me talking about it or bring it back up just made everyone even more devastated. It was like eighteen and a bit weeks I knew the gender, like I just kind of just pushed it all down, let it sit there. And I think everything really revealed itself when I got pregnant with Anna, because I was there every week, like scan me, scan me, scam me? Is everything okay? Like scam me, scammy Like like let's just give you a monitor so you can check the harp of yourself. I was like, no, no, I want to see everything. We'll see she's okay. So yeah, didn't me. It didn't no coping mechanism like the jew No.
00:19:01
Speaker 1: I got offered the at home scanning and they just were like, it's an option because I insisted. And then they were like, it's very hard to find it yourself at home, and the baby could be different positions, and then if you don't find the heartbeat and you're not doing it correctly, it can actually stress you out it even more so I was convinced out of it. I only ended up going to the hospital once when I felt like I couldn't feel the heartbeat, so I went in and spent the whole day there. But yeah, it's so weird, like the I kept my pregnancy of social media because I just didn't want like everyone else's like stress on me. So I really just like the whole pregnancy. I feel like I wasn't really even pregnant because I never like spoke about it or I like always hid my bump. I didn't do a baby shower, I didn't like celebrate it. I feel a little bit sad saying that, sorry, that sounds like a little bit sad not celebrating a baby, but I was so nervous. I speak about it all the time, so I don't I know why I'm crying, but I get better with.
00:20:16
Speaker 2: Speaking about it because I do speak about it a lot.
00:20:21
Speaker 1: But yeah, I think I just separated myself from my body so I could just go through the pregnancy as fast as I could without being in the doctors every week and panicking so much. Because with my pregnancy loss, I had felt the baby move a lot, so when there wasn't a heartbeat, it was like what I felt the baby move like that day. So yeah, it was like just separating and like putting emotions to the side as well. And my family was the same, Like everyone was very emotional and like they're also emotionally like looking after them. Yeah, so it was a tough situation. But yeah, I didn't know that you were going into the doctors that often. And it's totally understandable, right, you just want to make sure everything goes to plan and perfect. But at the same time, I have a huge faith and I'm kind of just like I surrender to God and I'm like anything that's going to happen.
00:21:24
Speaker 2: Is going to happen.
00:21:25
Speaker 1: Regardless if I was to like go and check or panic or do extra checks or anything, It's going to happen. And I think that's really helped me with a lot of things in my life. I just even like just anything with the kids and stuff, I'm always like, what's going to happen, is going to happen, you know, So I just surrender.
00:21:49
Speaker 2: I'm really sorry to hear about your life.
00:21:50
Speaker 3: Hey, I actually want to say something which has actually made me christ I might as well just say it's good David.
00:21:58
Speaker 2: So much to day is so.
00:22:01
Speaker 3: I actually knew about your lass and I guess this is more like an apology because I would hate this. But when you posted about yours, I used to follow you, and I like, not only did I unfollow you, I like blocked you completely, and not because you did anything wrong, but because yours was so triggering, And then I had to later once I like healed, I guess I didn't heal, but then I unblocked you because I just thought that wasn't fair. But at the time, it was so hard to see your stuff and I was like, I can't do this and it's so normal. My god, I'm cry so much. It's so normal to like try and like remove those tree. I'm really bad with it. Like, so when yours happened, I was like, nah, like I can't do this, and it really I don't know why you, of all people spiraled like really spiraled me, like it shook me to my core. And I guess like the algorithm knows hey, and it just sort of like serves you what you're talking about. It's so weird because I didn't put it online and didn't tell anyone, and I thought I was so fine until you popped up and your story and I just couldn't get rid of you fast enough, which is so horrible. And I'm so sorry because it's like not that you knew me, but it was just one less person, like and that's why you don't want to feel like when you lose a baby, you don't want to be that person that's like a burden or triggering. And like, I guess that's why when we don't talk about it, it's like, why didn't you talk about it? It's like because yes, it might help some people, but it also triggers the out of so many women.
00:23:54
Speaker 2: You don't have to be sorry at all.
00:23:56
Speaker 1: I understand that completely, and I think it's like even even me posting about it, well, obviously I had to because I had I was thirty weeks pregnant. You can't just then disappear and not say anything. But even me putting it out there, I understood that it's really scary because you don't often see it. So I totally get that you don't have to be sorry at all. It's totally valid. And I hope even you sharing your story now like helps people, you know, like, because once I did share it, I realized, wow, it actually is so common. I actually said to my mother in law had a still birth and remember telling me, and I was like that one must have been in the olden days, like that doesn't happen anymore. I said those words to her, and I was so sad for and I said, I'm so sorry, but I don't think that happens anymore. And then it happened to me, So I just feel like sharing my story. And then I had so many messages of people and like, so many people who have gone through the same thing and even further along and you know, the worst situations that I felt that I had to share it more.
00:25:16
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's so.
00:25:17
Speaker 1: Connected so many women, so I think you sharing your story to is the same.
00:25:22
Speaker 3: Yeah, and that the same, right, Like if someone doesn't want to listen to this or it feels super triggering or they are like I can't do this, like that's fine as well. I think like there's space for that, and like if you're not ready, then you're not ready. And I think it took me so long, which sounds so like modern day being like unblocked you, but like.
00:25:40
Speaker 2: Have you followed me back?
00:25:43
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's good. I think I saw you talk about it. It was like ages a woman like ages after, I guess. And then I was like, oh wait, like I plopped her for losing a baby, which is because it was so triggering for me, and I guess that like I was like, that's so unfair to not have the support that you deserve.
00:26:10
Speaker 1: So it's may but yeah, totally don't need to apologize and I get it, and like you said, it can be very triggering and it's okay for people to go, Okay, look that's too much. I can't deal with that, and maybe later on they might want to revisit it. So well, thank you for being so vulnerable, Kayla, Like, where do I even go into now?
00:26:36
Speaker 3: And then stop?
00:26:37
Speaker 2: Put it hold out?
00:26:38
Speaker 3: That's what I always say.
00:26:40
Speaker 1: Seriously, Well, okay, I want to talk just one more a bit about your cesarean because I find that really I want to hear your perspective with getting back fit after cesarean, because apparently you're not meant to exercise, you're not meant to move around. You can you not know? And how did you find that? Because you're a very physical fit girl.
00:27:01
Speaker 3: Yes. So Luckily for me, I was already in the fitness industry, so I understood the what happens if you go and train with an injury when you're given a certain amount of weeks. So a Cnerian is essentially a major surgery, so you are in fact injured, you are post surgery. You need to give yourself at least six weeks before you can do anything. And when I say anything, I mean anything. Don't get a sponge and wipe your kitchen bench, Like, don't go and try and lift something from the top cupboard. You should keep your arms like a t rex like for six weeks. That's what I always say to people, because as soon as you go and stretch or you're gonna move. You think you're okay. Your system is trying to repair and rebuild, and you're not able to do that unless you have the foundations. And the foundations need to be set and then not set for at least six weeks from the six week mark. You need clearance from the doctor, and then you need to work with a healthcare professional. I think for another six weeks if you can, so that is seeing a physio or someone to be able to assess your body and where you're at. And then after three months, welcome back to the gym. Until then, just let your body heal. So many women after a cesarean three or four weeks will come to me and say, you know, I feel so this. Yeah, just leave it please. And I know some people they're able to go back into the gym. They might be athletes before their bodies have healed incredibly. I still think that six week is so important, that six week mark.
00:28:37
Speaker 2: So how did you do waiting the six weeks?
00:28:40
Speaker 1: Like?
00:28:40
Speaker 2: Was that difficult forp? No? No? I really enjoy the rest.
00:28:46
Speaker 3: Oh, I definitely didn't. So if I can't physically move mentally, I will move so like I turned my house into like a milk production studio where I would pump every four hours, I put it in the fridge, I would label it. I would make sure everything is perfect, everything is clean, everything is washed, everything is like everything had to be mentally in order. So I felt like I was physically working. Otherwise I would have just sat there and like hmm, like I hated it.
00:29:15
Speaker 1: So you needed to keep busy with something something, But you're okay, feeling, I guess not in the best shape.
00:29:22
Speaker 2: Like what we're like after we.
00:29:24
Speaker 3: Have a baby, like I was.
00:29:26
Speaker 1: I've looked back at photos and you're like that water retention and it looks like you're still you know, three to six months pregnant, and well that was me. I was not like that bounced back, you know abs.
00:29:38
Speaker 2: So I've not got anything back.
00:29:39
Speaker 3: But you're you're realistic, You're you're in this like you know the people that are you see with standing there with abs after they've had just had their kids, that's like the one not even a one percent. Like you're in this bucket of Yes, you feel like you have retention from inflammation because you've had a major surgery or you've pushed out a baby. Yeah, you're gonna feel weird up to a year.
00:30:06
Speaker 1: Yeah, I only feel like it takes longer than a year. Oh two years for me, Yeah, two years for me too. I was saying that to some other friends the other day. I'm like, I only, well, not now, but like a while ago, I was like, I only just felt like I'm back to myself with like my hormones and like my body and just feeling like me again.
00:30:24
Speaker 2: Yeah, Like it takes time.
00:30:25
Speaker 1: And I think women need to really like just not have that like pressure on themselves to like be bouncing back.
00:30:33
Speaker 3: Yeah, like the pressure needs to not be there. But also you need to be so aware of your hormones, like and it's so hard because for me, you know, I have a husband who has this like natural flow of hormones that don't fluctuate whatsoever. So he feels to me like he's really steady, everything's really easy. And I feel at the point of giving birth three or four days and I felt insane. Your milk comes in, everything drops you, balling your eyes that you have no idea for having like these like waterline panic attacks every two seconds, and then it just like randomly happens again and again. If you're breastbitting you feel crazy. I know you actually do, and you really need to be so aware of that. And like, listen to other women when they say, like, this is a hard time, You're not going to feel like you because you're not.
00:31:33
Speaker 1: So now you're a mom of two, which is amazing. How do you like, how do you run a business and parent?
00:31:42
Speaker 2: Like? Is there any tips or secrets that's so funny? Can share?
00:31:47
Speaker 1: What type of parent are you? Like a very hands on mummy or you like you're the one at work? Like I was speaking to a lady yesterday here owns this big business and she just said she never had the urge to be a stay at home mom. She said her husband was that guy nurturing with the kids, and she said it didn't fulfill me. And she just explained that to the kids since she said, I want to be out here working and being a CEO boss and I'm still here. I'm still going to be at all the important things for you, but this is what I love to do.
00:32:18
Speaker 2: And I thought that was so cool.
00:32:20
Speaker 1: I was like, she was such a boss chick that just her kids were looked after and have this amazing relationship. But she knew that she needed fulfillment elsewhere.
00:32:29
Speaker 3: Yeah. No, I can relate to that. I can relate to both. What I have, which a lot of people don't have, is help, so much help. I have such a big family. I genuinely I laugh. I look back at like when I had Ana and I said to my mom, Mom, give her to me, Like I'm sitting here, give her to me. She's not going to know that I'm herm. You keep stealing her from the second I wake up. You're here, like, give me the baby. Like my mom was so excited. My grandma was like, my grandma is alive. Mother, Grandma came over all the time. My sister obsessed so like with Anna, there were people left, right and center, and so much help. My mom loves cooking, Lea loves cooking, and I got food. It was like my life got better. My life got better. When I had a bad I felt like I was just in at five star hotel and I had all these things coming at me. And then when I had Jack's it was kind of similar. My kids have always grown up with so much help around them, And I'm not gonna lie. When I moved to the Gold Coast, the first thing I looked for because my husband obviously also works is a nanny, and I was like, okay, Like, how do I get someone to come and help with my kids? Like, I'm still going to be there. I'm working from home. I can still see them, but I need someone to be able to like I don't want to be that mom that's working, Like sorry, I can't, Like I'm at a meeting. It's like I want to go to bounce. Okay, great, go, Like there's someone there to take them, do you know.
00:33:52
Speaker 1: What I mean?
00:33:53
Speaker 3: So I never shy away from the fact that I get help, but I'm also.
00:33:59
Speaker 2: Text of takes a village, that's for sure.
00:34:02
Speaker 1: So with juggling a business and the kids, what does that day today actually look like for you? Do you have moments where you are with the kids and you switch off from work or is because when you have your own business, it's kind of around the clock, right, But do you try to separate it or you just mix the two together.
00:34:20
Speaker 3: I can't just mush the two together. So like right now, my business manager, who's sitting on the left side of me you can't see, is Lannie. But she's also my best friend, so like, and we've been friends for like fifteen years or something like that, and so she's like auntie but like manager and like so we'll be like with the kids and like she'll be but also like can we talk about this? So it's kind of like we sort of mush.
00:34:43
Speaker 2: It all in.
00:34:44
Speaker 3: Yeah, it never sort of switches off. But it's also a fun job as well. It's not like a corporate job like that requires I don't know this, Like it's not a corporate world. It's health and fitness and tech.
00:34:57
Speaker 2: So it's fun.
00:34:58
Speaker 1: Yeah, and you love what you do, so love that's always a huge bonus. So you've achieved everything that society tells women to want, the body, the business, the babies, the husband. Do you actually feel like you have it all? Or is that just what we see from the outside looking in.
00:35:15
Speaker 3: No, I genuinely feel like I have it all. But that's again it's what does like the ultimate life look like to you? Like healthy kids, once you've had like a loss of a kid, you're a healthy kid. You're like, I'm happy. Yeah, you're healthy. I'm happy, a roof over your head, a beautiful family, like I think that for me, I'm like, okay, if I was to die tomorrow, God forbid. But if I was to die tomorrow, I'm happy where I left, like my life and how far I've come in my life and what I've achieved. And I think that's really like what drives me every day, Like that transformation for women, like I want them to be independent. I want them to have the body and the husband and the life and the kids if they want them that they want, like, I want them to have that. But it all starts with that confidence. That confidence is like absolute key to be able to get the life that you want.
00:36:11
Speaker 1: And is there a tip for anyone listening that has zero confidence to getting that confidence in themselves?
00:36:20
Speaker 3: To be honest, I mean there's so many. I think you have to definitely throw yourself in the deepen. I think you take a nice deep breath and chuck yourself in the deepen is probably my biggest tip. It comes from learnings. I did podcast actually with someone and I said to her, how do you get your confidence and where do you get it from? And she said, honestly, And it was the funniest response because I never thought anyone responded this. She goes, I just walk into a room and I pretend I'm a white corporate man in a suit and I just act accordingly. And I'm like, wait, what, Like I've never thought of it that way. But she's like, that's just what I've had to do and that's like the level I've had to get to to get the confidence. I was like, right, Like, that's definitely not the advice that I would give, but it's always stuck with me, and I thought it was funny. Yeah, but it's it is a big It is a big acting game at the start, like you have to chuck yourself on the deep end and just go from there. So yet, yeah, you know when you're like going to do something new and like it makes you a bit nervous if you feel like a bit giddy or like a bit nervous. Like that feeling I actually love because I'm like, I'm gonna do something that's like pushing myself outside of my comfort zone, like I feel nervous about it, like I'm growing. Yeah, so I encourage the same thing, totally pushing yourself out there. Totally being nervous is different. I always head to people when you're nervous, the best thing you can do is announce that you're nervous. That will bring the entire like the feeling in your body down, but the room will understand. Like if you say, like, hey, how are you feeling today, and I'll say nervous to be honest, like I'm really nervous, Like that's okay, that's fine. You have to be like I feel amazing, I'm so confident, strong, Like you can say like a little bit nervous to be honest, like, I know I've done this a lot of times, but I'm nervous. Yeah, you know, I'm nervous coming in to have a conversation with you. I don't know what you're gonna ask me. I don't know how one of these mom a boy sitting here crying? Yeah, like you know what I mean. So it's okay to say that, like be so honest with your feelings.
00:38:22
Speaker 1: Yeah as well, You're okay to feel different feelings, yeah as well. Okay, So if there's any woman listening right now, carrying something heavy and trying to hold it together, what advice would you give?
00:38:40
Speaker 3: Well, the advice it depends, Like I think it's heavy ast relative depending on what's going on. I think allow yourself to feel the feelings that you are feeling and speak openly about them, whether you are nervous, or you're angry, or you're embarrassed or you're sad. Like I think openly saying I feel blah is really helpful talking to people around you with the same experiences, but say starting with hey, I don't want your opinion, I just want to vent, or hey I don't want to vent, I want your opinion. I think like being really clear with what you want and giving yourself a little bit of grace and a little bit of space and whatever makes you feel good. Do that. So, for example, today I was going to have I was on the brink of a mental freaking breakdown because something was annoying me so much, and I was like, what makes me feel good? What has always made me feel good in my life? Going for a drive my car with the loudest music possible sounds so dumb, but I was like, I got out of my car, I was like, I feel way better, Like small little things. It might be having a tea, going for a walk, going into a polities class, or doing nothing at all. Just knowing really yourself and what makes you feel good. And I think that's really hard with women because sometimes the heaviness is that they've lost their sense of self. They don't know what makes them feel good anymore, they don't know what makes them happy anymore.
00:40:04
Speaker 2: They don't know.
00:40:05
Speaker 3: Anything about themselves. And that's the heaviness, And that's where you really need to reconnect and say, what did I used to do? Where? Where did the what would the old me say? What would I say to my younger self? A lot of that sort of talk.
00:40:18
Speaker 1: Yeah, I love that advice. Well, thank you so much, Cayla for coming on the pod. I definitely did not expect to be bullowing my eyes out over here with you blucked and blucked and unblucked, but no, that's been so real and vulnerable, and I feel like I just became so close with you, Like, but you're really inspiring girls, So I'm really happy that the listener's got to hear your story and everything you share.
00:40:48
Speaker 2: So thank you so much for coming on the pod.
00:40:50
Speaker 3: Thank you
