MIT Longevity Expert: Do These 3 Things Now to Stay Young, Live Longer, & Keep Your Freedom

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Hey, it's your friend Mel, and welcome to the Mel
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Robbins Podcast. You and your loved ones are probably going
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to live a lot longer than you think. But right
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now there's so much noise about longevity, biohacking, anti-aging, reversing this,
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optimizing that, but can we be honest with each other?
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Would you want to live to 100 if you are
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in horrible health? If it's painful to just get through
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the day, of course not. That's why today's conversation with
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an extraordinary expert from MIT, it's not about adding more
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years to your life. It's about adding more life to
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your years. We're going to talk today about whether your
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life as you age stays big and exciting and fulfilling
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and meaningful, or your life starts to shrink. We're also
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going to talk about what to do when you have
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people in your life, your parents, grandparents, loved ones, and
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you see their quality of life getting worse. Our extraordinary
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expert is Dr. Joseph Coughlin. He's the director of the
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MIT Age Lab, where they study what longer lives look like.
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And he is here in our Boston studios today to
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give you the simple shifts and all of this fascinating
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research that's going to do so much for you and
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your family. First of all, it's going to protect your
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freedom and your independence as you age. Because Dr. Coughlin says,
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based on the research, the choices you're making right now, yes,
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you in your 20s, In your 30s, 40s, 50s, 60s,
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they shape what the rest of your life is going
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to feel like. Dr. Coughlin also says there are three
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forces that quietly wear you down and chip away at
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your independence. And he will share what you can do
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to make sure that they don't. He's also got amazing
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research-backed advice for caregivers. I'm talking children of aging parents.
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and grandparents, and the things that you really need to
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hear that are going to work. Very specific ways in
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particular that Dr. Coughlin wants you to think about caregiving.
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He's going to give you specific ways to approach the
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conversation with your family members that will reshape how you
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look at aging.
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Dr.
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Coughlin also has three questions that you must ask yourself.
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that will fundamentally change how you see and design your future.
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This is a conversation I really want you to share
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with your siblings, with your parents, with your grandparents, with
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your adult kids, with your friends. I cannot wait for
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you to experience it and meet Dr. Coughlin.
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Hey, it's your friend Mel, and welcome to the Mel
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Robbins Podcast. I am thrilled about our conversation today. It's
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always such an honor to be together and to spend
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this time with you. And if you're a new listener
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or you're here because somebody shared this with you, this
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is one of those episodes that you will be sharing
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with people in your family. It's that important. I just
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want to take a moment and welcome you personally to
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the Mel Robbins Podcast family. Today, you and I are
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learning how to stay strong, sharp, and independent for a
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hundred years with the number one longevity expert, Dr. Joseph Coughlin.
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who founded and leads the Massachusetts Institute of Technology Age Lab,
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where he and his extraordinary team of researchers study how
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longer lives are transforming the way people work, retire, plan,
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and live. And he's here to tell you, based on
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the research, what it takes to prepare for a hundred good, juicy,
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awesome years, because you deserve that.
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Dr.
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Coughlin is a researcher, a professor in MIT's Department of
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Urban Studies and Planning, and an advisor to major corporations
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and institutions around the world. He has advised the World
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Economic Forum, and he has also served on the advisory
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committees for the U.S. government and multiple federal agencies and
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sitting presidents. The Wall Street Journal named him one of
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America's 12 pioneers inventing the future of retirement and aging,
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and if you thought that was enough, Dr. Coughlin has
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also authored over 250 academic publications on aging, longevity, and
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demographic change, and the best-selling book, The Longevity Economy. So
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please help me welcome Dr. Joseph Coughlin to the Mel
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Robbins Podcast.
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It's great to be here, Mel. Thanks for having me.
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I am so thrilled that you took time out of
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your busy lab over at MIT to come here today.
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And I am excited about your research. I would love
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to have you begin by speaking directly to the person
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who's listening or watching right now. And tell me, what
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could be different about my life if I take everything
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to heart? that you're about to share, and I apply
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it to my own life, and I really apply it
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to the people in my life that are getting older.
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What could be different? The big difference is that if
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you're prepared, if you can envision what you think that
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future's going to be, and please, it's not going to
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be all about beach walks and pickleball and maybe even grandchildren.
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Those will be good punctuated moments, but hopefully the things
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that we're doing with my team at the MIT Age
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Lab and the conversation that we'll have is about being
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prepared for the little moments, the things that make you smile,
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the ability to stay in the home that you love
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and want to be with, the ability to provide care.
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It's about building capacity to live your best life.
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I know this is going to be one of those
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conversations where if you are older, you're going to feel seen.
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If you are in a caregiving role, you're going to
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feel supported and you're going to be given very specific
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things that you can do. And you have a real
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gift in terms of the way that you teach. And
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you have a way of making this topic that's hard
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to talk about and understand in some ways easier and
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more fun to think about. But you do it in
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a way that's very, very practical. And so I think
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one of the things that people are going to get
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out of this conversation is a whole new way to
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think about the people that they love and to think
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about the role that you have to play in your
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own life and aging. and in supporting others as they do.
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And Mel, I want everyone to give themselves a break.
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And what I mean by that is that not being
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prepared for old age is not an indictment. It's not like,
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oh my God, I didn't do my plan. Old age
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is quite new in the context that we're living, how
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long we're living, the expectations, multiple generations alive at the
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same time. If you're caring for a loved one today,
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if you're aging or you're planning to age, this is
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an entirely new world without a map.
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So Dr. Coughlin, especially given the work that you do
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at the MIT Age Lab, how do you want us
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to think about age?
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I want you to think about aging as an amazing
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gift of time. So I want you to imagine zero, birth,
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to 21 years old. Let's just make it easy for
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a lot of people, drinking age. From zero to 21...
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is about 8,000 days. You know, be generous with the math,
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but it's about 8,000 days. From 21 to midlife crisis,
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classically 46, 47 years old, 8,000 days. And from 46
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to 47 to that Newtonian law of physics of retirement,
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65 is 8,000 days. But most people don't know that
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the fastest growing part of the population worldwide, by the way,
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is 85 plus. And 65 to 85 and change is 8,000 days.
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So if I take zero to 21, I'll just call
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it gently, push it off to the side, call it childhood,
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or if you're a parent, expensive, you cross off to
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the side. All of a sudden, retirement is not this
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short period of trip with the grandchildren to Disney anymore.
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It's one third of your adult life. It's a full 8,000 days.
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I love that 8,000 day framework because when you think
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about your own life, especially looking backwards, you can see
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whether you're going zero to 21 or 21 to 46
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or 46 to 65 or 65 to 80, whatever. There
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are so many different versions of you in each one
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of those 8,000 day segments of your life. And we do,
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especially as you get older, just kind of think, oh, Well,
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now you're just in that bracket. And I think it's
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very hopeful and exciting to recognize that whether you are
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in the zero to 21 or 21 to 45 or
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45 to 65 or 65 to 80 or 80 and up,
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that you have all of these different slices of life
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and future versions of yourself that you are going to
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get to experience. And a lot of what we're going
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to learn today from you will fundamentally shift your your
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mind and perspective about those future versions of you that
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will experience a decline in capacity potentially as you age.
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And that notion of future you, Mel, what you and
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I will be able to do is to put questions
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in people's minds to help them navigate basically an entirely
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unknown land. There's really no map for that older age
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other than, you know, did you save enough money and
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are you going to take a cruise ship? Life is
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far more complicated than that overall. And those questions will
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start conversations.
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You say there are three questions every one of us
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needs to ask ourselves when it comes to how we
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think about aging.
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The three questions, not necessarily in this order. The first
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one is, how are you going to get a nice
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cream cone? Sounds really silly, but it's got a number
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of dimensions to it. When we plan for older age,
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we tend to think about what do we want to
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do in older age? Well, I'm going to travel, spend
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time with family. There's so much to do around the house,
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I'll never get bored. Mel, do you remember COVID? We
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found something out about COVID. Except for the travel part,
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we found out that, A, all those hobbies you thought
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that were going to keep you busy and painting the
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spare bedroom three times was going to keep you busy
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for a lifetime got boring real fast. And secondly, we
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found that our significant other got tired of seeing us
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significantly 24-7. And so the first question is, how are
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you going to get a nice cream cone? Do you
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know the little things that make you smile? Not that
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we're going to take the kids to Disney. Not that
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we're going to maybe, if you're one of those folks,
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to downsize those big monumental moments. Longer life or life
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at any stage is about the little moments. And so
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do you know the little things that make you smile?
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So for me, I want you to imagine it's a
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hot summer night. I want a soft serve. I want
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a spiral. I want a chocolate and vanilla. The other
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side of that question is not do you know the
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little things that make you smile, but do you have
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access to them? 70% of Americans over the age of
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50 live where if you don't drive, you don't get out.
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And an ice cream cone is one of those things
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on a hot summer night you want at the spur
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of the moment. You don't book a ride. You don't
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bother an adult daughter. You may not call up a neighbor.
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You just want it. The peepers are out. It's a
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hot summer night. You want it now. So do you
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know how you're going to get an ice cream cone?
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Second thing, what are you going to do on any
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given Tuesday at 1030? Sounds really crazy, right? That when
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we think about retirement planning, old age planning, we think
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about the big things that we're going to do. I've
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got so much I'm going to do. But you know,
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believe it or not, research, imagine somebody got money for this,
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did research and found out that Tuesday apparently is the
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most boring day of the year. Look, most of us
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don't want to have breakfast with anyone. Just give me
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my coffee and leave me alone. The bottom line is,
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is that by 1030 in the morning, All of a sudden,
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you now need to structure your life, whether it was work, family, children. Frankly,
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if you're no longer a caregiver, you had structure. You
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had things to do. Now at 1030 on Tuesday, the
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average couple over age 65 watches upwards of four to
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five hours of TV per day.
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Oh, wow.
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So that notion that we're all going to be cruising
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and doing all this fun stuff, again, not totally incorrect,
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but there's a lot of Tuesdays out there. Third question,
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if you will, who's going to change your light bulbs? Sounds, again,
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really silly. But I want you to start making a list.
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And I want that person who's listening to me right now,
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start making a list of all the things that you
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take for granted, that you do every day, maybe for yourself,
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for your spouse, your partner, or for a loved one.
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Taking out the trash, making a meal, changing a light bulb.
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And look, as a guy, I do have to confess
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that I do want to climb the ladder and change
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the light bulb. I am likely to fall and break
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my hip because my wife's going to be at the
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base of the ladder saying, you're going to fall and
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break your hip. And that will be the thing that
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takes me down. But here's the thing I want you
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to think about. Because when things break, you need redundancy.
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So that person that's going to change your light bulbs,
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it's not just whether you have the money to do that.
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In fact, in many ways, that's the easy part. Do
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you have someone that you trust? Someone that would go
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into your mother's home? She's 85 years old, cognitively not
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as sharp as she used to be. You can write
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the check, perhaps. Do you have somebody you trust to
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go in there by themselves? Is somebody your mother's going
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to accept? Do you have somebody who's going to check on?
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If you don't call home or call a friend, who's
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going to call back to make sure everything's okay? I'll
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throw one other in there and we can talk about this.
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Who are you going to have lunch with? And that
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is the social question. That is the The question about
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how big is your social, we'll make it geeky, social network. Frankly,
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how many friends do you have? And how well those
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friends come together is frankly, in many ways, a bigger
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predictor of how well you'll age. Some really great research
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done by Joanne Holt-Lunstad suggests that do you know that
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being lonely or social isolation has the physical health impact
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of smoking 11 to 15 cigarettes per day? So it's
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not about, oh, gee, you're lonely, it's emotional. Yeah, it's
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all that, but it's also about hypertension, depression, and everything else.
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How many friends do you need?
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Generally speaking, we only have maybe one, two, and if
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you're really wealthy, and I mean wealthy in the social sense,
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three friends. And these are the folks that have your back.
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When something happens wrong at two in the morning, when
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a loved one is critically ill, they're the ones who
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support you overall. And then I added friends under development
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because as I remember a woman I was interviewing in
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Chicago said to me only a few years ago, I
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was asking her about her social connection and she leans
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over and I think she was 82. She leans over
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and she says to me, son, which if you look
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like this, being called son is a pretty cool thing.
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She goes, son, at my age, there's a natural attrition
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to friendship. You don't think about that. But over time,
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And it's not just the existential you lose friends due
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to death or disease, but they move on. They move away.
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And many people are going to hate me for saying this,
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but grandchildren actually hurt your friendships. Because what you used
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to do on a Friday night to go out to
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have dinner or a movie is like, oh, no, I'm
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going to babysit her. I can't wait to see baby
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Joey or, you know, whatever it might be. Those are
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great things. but you need to start thinking of your
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friendships as a portfolio. Indeed, I like to call it
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a social portfolio. We worry about our wealth portfolio, but
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think about your social portfolio. How robust, how rich is
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it overall?
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I want to stay on that grandkids- really impact your
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friendships as you get older as an adult? Because one
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of the things that I've noticed just as my own
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parents are getting older, my mom is in her late seventies,
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my dad is in his early eighties, is I have
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seen the friendship attrition that you're talking about. And I've
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seen how they used to have this big group of
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people that they hung out with. And as they've gotten
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older and certainly as people have died or people have
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moved away, or people have stopped making the long drive
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down to Florida for the month in a cold winter month,
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their friend group has started to completely evaporate. What was
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once 20 couples they hung out with, it's now two.
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And I also hear what you're saying about how when
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your family starts to grow, which is a wonderful thing,
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whether it's with son-in-laws, daughter-in-laws, or it is with kids,
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or it is grandkids, It's a wonderful thing, but you
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tend to then focus in on prioritizing family, which is
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very important, and you forget about the importance of the
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social network that's your age that you also still need.
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So really, this older age is about time and structure
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and connection more than anything else.
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Well, that brings me to the work that you're doing
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at the MIT Age Lab that is so revolutionary and
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profound because you have created a way For us to
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go there. And to not just try to imagine what
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it's going to be like, but to truly experience the
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impact of aging. I would love to hear you just
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explain to the person listening or watching right now, what
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is the work that you're doing at MIT? And you
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brought along what looks like an astronaut suit, complete with
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a helmet, that I am going to call the astronaut
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aging suit that you put people in. And it simulates
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what it can feel like to be the future you
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who is 90 years old trying to go through your
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day-to-day life. And it really just hits you right in
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the gut.
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And I think that kind of frames up best what
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the MIT Age Lab is. Look, I have the privilege
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of being here to speak with you, but the Age
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Lab is made up of 30 really gifted researchers and
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students that do the work. I get to talk about it.
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And look, while we are attentive to nutrition and exercise
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and things like that, What we really look at is
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where does design, technology, and human behavior come together to
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rethink where you're going to live? What is the future
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design of communities? What is the future of the vehicle,
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the car look like? How will you receive care? So
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we're on the physical side of doing. And so the
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lab looks at things such as what is the future
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of transportation? How do we redesign our communities? Not to
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be just friendly for aging, but but to be age-ready. Caregiving.
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How do we actually provide care to loved ones, and
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how do we receive care? And much of what we
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will be speaking about, longevity planning. Not just plan for
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our financial security, how do we plan for a longer,
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better life overall? And then probably the other main area
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that we like to work on is the multigenerational workplace.
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Do you remember when the workplace was there are younger
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workers and there were older workers? Imagine this. We now
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have not one, two, three, four, or five. We have
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upwards of six generations in the workplace, shall we say,
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generational kinetics of expectation, how we work, what we do,
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and the like in the workplace. So longer life longevity
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changes everything. And the Age Lab is about trying to
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redesign the systems to support living longer and better.
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And they also happen to have a profound impact on
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the systems in your mindset.
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Yes.
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That have you not be able to predict what it's
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going to be like for you as you age and
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to also have you not understand what the people that
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you love are going through right now as they are aging.
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And you have this astronaut aging suit.
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Agnes.
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Agnes. And what does Agnes stand for?
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Agnes. We love acronyms at MIT. So Agnes stands for
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the Age, Gain, Now Empathy System.
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Dr.
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Coughlin's brought his team. The suit is hanging outside, and
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I'm going to try it on, and I will narrate
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step by step by step what's happening. I will do
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my best to explain what I am feeling in real
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time as I am experiencing the MIT Age Lab simulation
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of the way that aging can compromise your capacity to move,
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to pick things up, to see, to do the simple
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things day to day. And I am really excited because
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I think this is going to have a profound impact
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on me and you, whether you're listening or watching.
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And it's aging, and it's more about the health conditions
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that kind of correlate with aging quite often. So diabetes, arthritis,
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diminished vision function. But Mel, one of the things I
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00:21:39.180 --> 00:21:41.579
think you're going to experience, as do my students and
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the companies we work with, is the aha moment, which is, yeah,
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we interview older adults. We watch them in the wild.
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We're kind of creepy. We watch in the house, the car,
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the store, home, whatever it might be. But it's when
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you wear the suit that you kind of like get it.
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It's like, why is this more difficult than it should be?
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Because as a designer, as an engineer, you say, that's
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not acceptable. I can change the material. I can change
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the design. I can make it better. So just so
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you know, Mel, and for all the listeners, you may
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hear some like tearing and clinking and clanging. It's going
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to be Velcro weights and some belts. So we promise
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we'll be gentle, Mel.
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But that's the sound of the suit going on.
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That's the sound of the suit going on.
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All right. So, Dr. Coughlin, we're going to walk outside
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the studio where the age suit is. This is the
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first time we've ever... filmed and recorded a part of
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the podcast outside of this studio.
421
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Oh, wow.
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So I'm super excited to experience.
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This with you. Very cool.
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All right, let's go do this.
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All right.
426
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I see this suit. It almost looks like I'm going
427
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to go into a spaceship.
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00:22:44.599 --> 00:22:47.240
Yeah, it looks like, well, frankly, if you think about it,
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aging is an extreme environment. It's not for wimps.
430
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Uh-oh. We're all forced into it. Okay, so I'm just
431
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going to put that on?
432
00:22:54.009 --> 00:22:56.809
No, you're going to wait. Now, my colleague Lauren Serino
433
00:22:56.849 --> 00:22:58.089
here is going to help you. How are you?
434
00:22:59.140 --> 00:23:01.710
Well, you guys have like actual, she's wearing a jacket,
435
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if you're listening to this, that has the lab emblazoned
436
00:23:05.450 --> 00:23:06.910
on it. That's great. Okay, so here we go.
437
00:23:07.730 --> 00:23:09.650
So I'm going to start by having you take off
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your shoes.
439
00:23:10.589 --> 00:23:13.710
Okay, is the first test that I have to balance why.
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I do this?
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Okay, I'm sitting down on the chair to take my
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shoes off, and now I'm regretting the fans that I
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wear stylish jeans that have no stretch in them.
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It'd be a lot harder if you were wearing a skirt,
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so this works.
446
00:23:25.509 --> 00:23:28.339
Okay, here we go. I'm already having trouble, and I
447
00:23:28.390 --> 00:23:30.599
don't have the suit on. I'm just getting my shoes
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off here.
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Okay.
450
00:23:32.880 --> 00:23:34.359
All right, here we go. So I'm putting on a
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weighted vest.
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00:23:35.299 --> 00:23:37.440
Yeah, and now this is not necessarily because you're going
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to be gaining weight, but you're going to be losing
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muscle mass.
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Oh, so I have to put on a weighted vest
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because when you lose muscle mass.
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Everything is starting to feel a little heavier, a little
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more difficult to move, so you may... maintain certain weight,
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but it doesn't mean you have a certain muscle mass,
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which gives you that strength.
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00:23:58.220 --> 00:23:59.680
Wait, so hold on. I just want to make sure
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I understand this. So if you're looking at somebody in
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your life that's getting older, and they haven't put on
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a lot of weight, they may still just feel like
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their existing weight feels heavier.
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00:24:11.769 --> 00:24:14.289
Exactly. And if they've lost muscle mass, that means things
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that were once lighter or just getting up out of
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the chair as you did becomes just a little bit
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more difficult.
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I never would have thought about that.
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So we take a lot of it for granted because
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it doesn't look like it's changed, but it has.
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Well, when you think about, like, I'm just thinking about,
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for example, like my grandma and her not changing... her
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body shape at all but it seemed to get harder
476
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and harder and that's due to loss.
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Of muscle loss of muscle coordination and we're going to
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make it a little bit worse as we go along.
479
00:24:39.640 --> 00:24:42.299
Oh my gosh okay thank you for bending down because
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these pants do not have stretch in them this was
481
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really dumb of me okay all right so i'm putting
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on one leg of this is the easy part i
483
00:24:50.579 --> 00:24:51.240
think i need to.
484
00:24:51.180 --> 00:24:53.420
Hold on this is the jumpsuit okay my.
485
00:24:53.380 --> 00:24:57.519
Pants literally okay so i'm getting on the jumpsuit everybody
486
00:24:57.539 --> 00:25:01.089
yeah Yeah, don't fall over. Kind of your typical thing,
487
00:25:01.349 --> 00:25:06.289
auto mechanic thing. If you're a farmer wearing your big
488
00:25:06.390 --> 00:25:09.410
Carhartt kind of zip up cold weather thing. So I've
489
00:25:09.450 --> 00:25:15.420
got on my, okay, zip this up. Okay. And I've
490
00:25:15.460 --> 00:25:16.799
got the vest on underneath.
491
00:25:16.839 --> 00:25:16.940
Yep.
492
00:25:17.319 --> 00:25:19.339
Now we're going to start getting interesting. So Lauren, what
493
00:25:19.359 --> 00:25:20.099
are we putting on now?
494
00:25:20.359 --> 00:25:23.220
We are putting on this harness. It's going to go
495
00:25:23.309 --> 00:25:25.049
right around your waist here and it's going to connect
496
00:25:25.069 --> 00:25:26.309
to some of the other components.
497
00:25:26.329 --> 00:25:28.549
So what you're looking at is a harness with a
498
00:25:28.650 --> 00:25:29.849
number of bungee cords.
499
00:25:29.950 --> 00:25:30.250
Okay.
500
00:25:30.430 --> 00:25:33.309
And the bungee cords are not to make you more flexible. Actually,
501
00:25:33.769 --> 00:25:38.509
each one is a certain level of reducing your gait,
502
00:25:38.650 --> 00:25:39.710
that is your walk.
503
00:25:39.859 --> 00:25:40.920
Restricting how I walk?
504
00:25:40.940 --> 00:25:44.079
Yeah, so suddenly the span that you're going to be
505
00:25:44.119 --> 00:25:45.400
able to walk is going to be a little bit
506
00:25:45.559 --> 00:25:48.509
more resistant or less. It's not that you're not going
507
00:25:48.529 --> 00:25:50.170
to be able to fight it, but it's going to
508
00:25:50.190 --> 00:25:51.049
start to wear you out.
509
00:25:51.309 --> 00:25:53.470
Well, the vest is already wearing me out. I mean,
510
00:25:53.490 --> 00:25:56.869
I'm standing here with this kind of heaviness because I
511
00:25:56.910 --> 00:26:01.109
have this vest on, and I'm just kind of dumbstruck
512
00:26:01.130 --> 00:26:04.769
by the fact that you may look at somebody who
513
00:26:05.589 --> 00:26:08.430
you love who's getting older, and you may see it
514
00:26:08.470 --> 00:26:12.180
in their face, but you don't understand that there's this
515
00:26:12.259 --> 00:26:13.480
heaviness in their body.
516
00:26:13.930 --> 00:26:16.069
Basically, the way we like to think about it is
517
00:26:16.109 --> 00:26:18.599
that what we're adding to you is a certain amount
518
00:26:18.640 --> 00:26:22.220
of friction of an environment. You know, interaction with everything
519
00:26:22.240 --> 00:26:26.519
from chairs to kitchen, whatever it is. But friction, fatigue,
520
00:26:26.819 --> 00:26:29.240
and then often what you'll see in their face is frustration.
521
00:26:30.019 --> 00:26:32.289
Because you remember what it was like to be easy.
522
00:26:32.380 --> 00:26:35.750
Why am I fighting with this? We're having difficulty moving.
523
00:26:36.190 --> 00:26:38.329
Because you remember what it was like to be seamless
524
00:26:38.390 --> 00:26:41.529
and smooth. And now it's suddenly getting a little slower,
525
00:26:41.549 --> 00:26:43.480
a little bit more difficult. And frankly, a little bit
526
00:26:43.500 --> 00:26:44.240
more frustrating.
527
00:26:44.700 --> 00:26:46.900
So you said three F's there.
528
00:26:47.059 --> 00:26:48.279
Yep. The friction.
529
00:26:48.559 --> 00:26:48.759
Yep.
530
00:26:49.059 --> 00:26:51.589
The fatigue and the frustration.
531
00:26:52.029 --> 00:26:52.269
Yes.
532
00:26:52.349 --> 00:26:54.029
And then I can imagine there's a fourth. You start
533
00:26:54.049 --> 00:26:55.150
to feel kind of frail.
534
00:26:55.809 --> 00:26:58.109
A little frail. Exactly. And also, this is when we
535
00:26:58.190 --> 00:27:00.630
really start to have to understand, you know that cranky
536
00:27:00.670 --> 00:27:03.950
old man? He's not cranky. He's dealing with a lot
537
00:27:03.990 --> 00:27:06.319
that you can't see. And he remembers what it was
538
00:27:06.400 --> 00:27:08.140
like not to have to manage that.
539
00:27:10.299 --> 00:27:12.319
Now we have a pair of crocks with a thick
540
00:27:12.359 --> 00:27:12.700
layer of.
541
00:27:12.779 --> 00:27:13.720
Foam on the bottom.
542
00:27:14.059 --> 00:27:15.740
Okay, now what are these designed to do?
543
00:27:15.779 --> 00:27:17.079
Lauren, is this a style statement?
544
00:27:18.460 --> 00:27:21.400
Well, in part, in part, but in part also for balance.
545
00:27:22.200 --> 00:27:23.500
Oh, they're wobbly. Yeah.
546
00:27:23.880 --> 00:27:25.960
So what I want you to understand, this is not
547
00:27:25.980 --> 00:27:28.849
the destiny of aging. There's no birth date around this,
548
00:27:28.950 --> 00:27:33.589
but age-related diseases... start to gather. So the wobbly is,
549
00:27:33.650 --> 00:27:37.069
you know, whether it's neuropathy, maybe change in foot pad,
550
00:27:37.549 --> 00:27:39.740
all of a sudden now you're not as sure. You
551
00:27:39.779 --> 00:27:42.839
see people moving slowly in the store? It's all of
552
00:27:42.859 --> 00:27:45.119
a sudden not because they're slow, they're not sure of
553
00:27:45.160 --> 00:27:46.140
their footing anymore.
554
00:27:46.799 --> 00:27:49.619
Holy cow. And you're putting ankle weights around me?
555
00:27:49.819 --> 00:27:51.940
So this is getting at similarly to the vest. It's
556
00:27:52.000 --> 00:27:53.380
some of that muscle loss.
557
00:27:53.859 --> 00:27:56.829
Well, I think the thing that's really striking about even
558
00:27:56.930 --> 00:27:59.150
just getting the suit on, and I have not even
559
00:27:59.250 --> 00:27:59.789
tried to.
560
00:28:01.660 --> 00:28:06.240
Move in it yet what's very striking is just this
561
00:28:06.380 --> 00:28:08.720
idea that you used to feel a certain way in
562
00:28:08.759 --> 00:28:13.329
your body and now you don't feel like yourself and
563
00:28:14.349 --> 00:28:18.309
given that I'm not at this stage in my life
564
00:28:18.369 --> 00:28:21.630
yet where I'm wobbly on my feet right unless I've
565
00:28:21.650 --> 00:28:27.670
had too many gins or beers I I You don't
566
00:28:27.750 --> 00:28:32.150
appreciate what it must feel like to be inside a
567
00:28:32.250 --> 00:28:36.650
body physically that doesn't feel like yours and how frustrating
568
00:28:37.609 --> 00:28:40.910
it must be. I'll tell a quick story. My dad
569
00:28:40.970 --> 00:28:44.289
recently had cataract surgery and it didn't go according to
570
00:28:44.329 --> 00:28:48.109
plan and there was one of these floaters. You can
571
00:28:48.190 --> 00:28:50.769
see it in his eye. It kind of twinkles and
572
00:28:51.170 --> 00:28:55.289
it really bothers him. It's been a year now and
573
00:28:56.630 --> 00:28:58.569
There's kind of this, oh, well, you know, you just
574
00:28:58.589 --> 00:28:59.819
kind of have to deal with it. But I can
575
00:28:59.910 --> 00:29:02.660
tell how frustrated he is by it.
576
00:29:02.900 --> 00:29:06.099
It's just the little things start to add up. Yes.
577
00:29:06.200 --> 00:29:08.700
And they become bigger. One of the things that has
578
00:29:08.720 --> 00:29:11.220
been amazing is that Agnes is a teachable moment. So
579
00:29:11.259 --> 00:29:13.950
when young students wear it, or frankly, we even had
580
00:29:14.009 --> 00:29:16.769
teenagers wear it, all of a sudden they go, you know,
581
00:29:16.849 --> 00:29:18.809
I'm going to be nicer to grandma and grandpa or
582
00:29:18.930 --> 00:29:21.329
older people. I start to understand why I should hold
583
00:29:21.369 --> 00:29:24.390
the door open. Not just because it's an honorable, polite
584
00:29:24.410 --> 00:29:26.440
thing to do. All of a sudden now I get
585
00:29:26.640 --> 00:29:28.900
why they're a little slower, why it's more difficult.
586
00:29:29.160 --> 00:29:30.509
Okay, now what's coming?
587
00:29:30.640 --> 00:29:34.309
So I'm actually gonna have you try to pull on.
588
00:29:34.690 --> 00:29:35.930
This and tighten it just.
589
00:29:35.769 --> 00:29:36.109
A little bit.
590
00:29:36.130 --> 00:29:39.349
Okay, this is hard to do. You're making me get
591
00:29:39.450 --> 00:29:42.400
my own So she's asking me to tighten this thing.
592
00:29:42.460 --> 00:29:44.319
That's right. We haven't given you arthritic hands yet.
593
00:29:44.400 --> 00:29:47.359
And I can't, I actually can't get this done. So
594
00:29:47.400 --> 00:29:50.230
now I feel demoralized because I can't get my own
595
00:29:50.289 --> 00:29:52.329
belt tightened and I'm going to have to ask doc
596
00:29:52.369 --> 00:29:55.329
to help me here. Oh my, this is so much
597
00:29:55.390 --> 00:29:58.069
harder than I thought it was going to be. Like
598
00:29:58.119 --> 00:29:59.829
it makes me feel two things at once. I feel
599
00:29:59.930 --> 00:30:03.950
a lot of compassion for anyone who's getting older and
600
00:30:03.990 --> 00:30:07.990
who is having trouble moving or who is feeling fragile
601
00:30:08.109 --> 00:30:10.930
or frustrated or that there's just the friction is the
602
00:30:10.970 --> 00:30:14.750
right word. And the second thing that I felt was
603
00:30:14.809 --> 00:30:17.890
just this sense of urgency for why I need to
604
00:30:17.950 --> 00:30:20.769
be lifting weights right now, why I need to be
605
00:30:20.910 --> 00:30:23.930
eating healthy, why I need to pay attention to mobility
606
00:30:23.990 --> 00:30:28.930
and balance now before I get... into a situation where
607
00:30:29.049 --> 00:30:30.250
everything's breaking down.
608
00:30:30.609 --> 00:30:32.930
When we think about aging, most people don't really have
609
00:30:32.970 --> 00:30:34.720
a definition of it. They think about it as a
610
00:30:34.779 --> 00:30:38.079
number of birthdays. That's older. Yes. Actually, aging is about
611
00:30:38.200 --> 00:30:41.160
diminishing capacity over time. Aging?
612
00:30:41.200 --> 00:30:44.740
Hold on. Let me make sure. Aging is about capacity
613
00:30:44.839 --> 00:30:45.960
diminishing over time.
614
00:30:46.000 --> 00:30:49.539
Over time. So your weightlifting is increasing your capacity. You're
615
00:30:49.599 --> 00:30:54.829
pushing out the clock, learning something new. keeps you cognitively well.
616
00:30:55.130 --> 00:30:57.150
So the idea is not to, shall we say, go
617
00:30:57.250 --> 00:30:59.670
quietly into that good night, but to do the things
618
00:30:59.710 --> 00:31:05.349
like eating, exercise, social condition, to push aging out further out.
619
00:31:05.750 --> 00:31:07.890
What I notice is the Crocs are making, I feel
620
00:31:07.910 --> 00:31:10.109
like I'm doing a drunk driving test.
621
00:31:10.130 --> 00:31:10.789
Yeah, exactly.
622
00:31:10.869 --> 00:31:14.119
Like walk a line and I'm wobbling. You feel unsure
623
00:31:14.130 --> 00:31:16.900
as you walk. You feel like, and when you hear
624
00:31:16.960 --> 00:31:18.599
then that if you break a hip, you're dead in
625
00:31:18.640 --> 00:31:20.819
a year. Now I don't want to fall, so I'm
626
00:31:20.880 --> 00:31:24.460
feeling a little nervous about even taking a step. And,
627
00:31:24.500 --> 00:31:29.049
you know, if you're listening, it's a belt around you
628
00:31:29.069 --> 00:31:31.849
that has bungee cords attached to your shoes. And so
629
00:31:32.009 --> 00:31:35.349
as you're walking and you're kind of stepping on a
630
00:31:35.410 --> 00:31:37.789
shoe that's like round on the bottom, your ankles are
631
00:31:37.809 --> 00:31:41.900
like a weeble wobble. And then the spring is keeping you,
632
00:31:42.099 --> 00:31:43.980
you feel the tension so you don't really want to
633
00:31:44.059 --> 00:31:47.599
stride it out. You feel hesitant.
634
00:31:48.859 --> 00:31:49.359
Wow.
635
00:31:50.440 --> 00:31:52.700
Oh God. She's about to put a neck brace on you.
636
00:31:52.720 --> 00:31:53.880
And the hits keep on coming.
637
00:31:54.339 --> 00:31:55.220
I don't love this part.
638
00:31:55.400 --> 00:31:55.640
Okay.
639
00:31:57.240 --> 00:31:59.140
Why do I have a neck brace on?
640
00:31:59.289 --> 00:32:03.390
Well, think about this. My lab started around older drivers
641
00:32:03.470 --> 00:32:06.170
and transportation. One of the things people will say, you know,
642
00:32:06.309 --> 00:32:08.470
these cars aren't designed very well. I can't see out
643
00:32:08.490 --> 00:32:10.789
the window. Well, here's the secret. By the time you're
644
00:32:10.930 --> 00:32:13.109
in your 30s, yes, you heard me, in your 30s,
645
00:32:13.880 --> 00:32:17.339
your neck rotation is starting to reduce. And so suddenly, no,
646
00:32:17.359 --> 00:32:19.319
the car is fine. You're just not turning your neck.
647
00:32:19.619 --> 00:32:23.400
I'm trying to turn and look at you now, and
648
00:32:23.480 --> 00:32:24.720
I can't actually turn.
649
00:32:24.759 --> 00:32:26.839
You're missing the car behind you over here. If you've
650
00:32:26.920 --> 00:32:27.500
ever had.
651
00:32:27.400 --> 00:32:30.220
A stiff neck, you know that you turn your whole
652
00:32:30.319 --> 00:32:32.880
body in order to see. And if this is what
653
00:32:32.900 --> 00:32:37.769
you have to do every day, this suit makes you
654
00:32:37.789 --> 00:32:40.490
feel like a gigantic jerk for being impatient with people
655
00:32:40.509 --> 00:32:40.910
that are older.
656
00:32:40.930 --> 00:32:41.309
Yes, yeah.
657
00:32:41.779 --> 00:32:44.619
It really does, because it puts into perspective the physical
658
00:32:44.720 --> 00:32:47.109
friction of just getting through the day.
659
00:32:47.589 --> 00:32:50.769
And you know the irony is, we always talk about them, they,
660
00:32:51.049 --> 00:32:54.549
older people. With any look, we are they, because the
661
00:32:54.569 --> 00:32:56.910
alternative is not nearly as positive as pretty.
662
00:32:57.269 --> 00:32:59.680
That's true. Okay, now what are you doing to me?
663
00:32:59.670 --> 00:33:03.200
So, the next thing is vision. So we have, here's
664
00:33:03.220 --> 00:33:06.160
our goggles that simulate different vision conditions. This one is
665
00:33:06.299 --> 00:33:08.480
impaired acuity, which is just standard low vision.
666
00:33:09.079 --> 00:33:10.930
Well, I have that when I don't wear my glasses, so.
667
00:33:11.019 --> 00:33:13.259
So what we can do is take off your glasses
668
00:33:13.299 --> 00:33:15.099
and actually have you put on these yellow glasses.
669
00:33:15.180 --> 00:33:15.559
Okay.
670
00:33:16.500 --> 00:33:19.119
And even just lifting up to take my glasses off.
671
00:33:20.079 --> 00:33:20.359
Okay.
672
00:33:20.619 --> 00:33:21.799
So this is a helmet.
673
00:33:22.119 --> 00:33:24.579
Why do we have a helmet? In case I fall? Well,
674
00:33:25.140 --> 00:33:27.859
it's for safety. Oh, my God. It's also for, you'll notice.
675
00:33:27.880 --> 00:33:29.019
This is exhausting.
676
00:33:29.380 --> 00:33:30.980
Velcro, that'll be the last bunch.
677
00:33:31.019 --> 00:33:33.119
This further reduces movement.
678
00:33:33.960 --> 00:33:37.359
Okay. All I want to do is sit down. And
679
00:33:37.440 --> 00:33:39.519
I'm exhausted already and I haven't even started walking.
680
00:33:39.539 --> 00:33:41.339
That's right. We're going to have some fun here in
681
00:33:41.359 --> 00:33:41.880
a few minutes.
682
00:33:42.160 --> 00:33:47.099
Wow. We have so much more with Dr. Coughlin and
683
00:33:47.160 --> 00:33:51.920
this aging astronaut suit when we come back. Plus, very
684
00:33:51.960 --> 00:33:54.619
specific advice for you caregivers that you do not want
685
00:33:54.640 --> 00:33:56.200
to miss. So stay with me.
686
00:34:03.349 --> 00:34:06.150
Give your senior pet the care they deserve at MaxiZoo.
687
00:34:06.329 --> 00:34:10.090
Right now, get 20% off senior pet food, supplements and essentials,
688
00:34:10.190 --> 00:34:13.489
from nutritious meals and joint care to everyday wellness support.
689
00:34:13.710 --> 00:34:16.530
Save on everything your older pet needs. Get more for
690
00:34:16.590 --> 00:34:20.650
less at MaxiZoo. Shop in-store or online at maxizoo.ie.
691
00:34:26.539 --> 00:34:29.480
And catch up with old friends.
692
00:34:30.619 --> 00:34:31.639
Even the grumpy ones.
693
00:34:31.900 --> 00:34:32.599
What a baby.
694
00:34:32.920 --> 00:34:36.440
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695
00:34:37.440 --> 00:34:39.579
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696
00:34:39.719 --> 00:34:43.219
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698
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699
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700
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701
00:34:59.670 --> 00:35:01.730
Welcome back. It's your friend Mel. And today you and
702
00:35:01.789 --> 00:35:05.019
I are here with Dr. Joseph Coughlin. Right now, I'm
703
00:35:05.059 --> 00:35:08.039
a sight to behold. I am wearing this MIT Age
704
00:35:08.119 --> 00:35:11.900
Lab astronaut aging suit. It's called Agnes. We're going around
705
00:35:11.940 --> 00:35:15.739
the office here in Boston. And let's just jump right
706
00:35:16.059 --> 00:35:19.440
back in. So Dr. Coughlin, what is the next thing
707
00:35:19.460 --> 00:35:20.880
you're gonna make me do in this suit?
708
00:35:21.280 --> 00:35:23.480
So why don't we go for a little bit of
709
00:35:23.519 --> 00:35:23.920
a walk?
710
00:35:24.119 --> 00:35:27.699
Okay, easier said than done, doc. Okay, so I'm gonna
711
00:35:27.780 --> 00:35:28.420
follow you.
712
00:35:28.599 --> 00:35:29.940
Come on, speed it up. We don't have all day.
713
00:35:30.119 --> 00:35:34.159
Oh my God. You're like my petulant grandson.
714
00:35:34.179 --> 00:35:37.360
So we're gonna do some just basic everyday things. So
715
00:35:37.409 --> 00:35:39.460
let's go for a walk. I want you to step
716
00:35:39.480 --> 00:35:42.559
around the cones because you're just basically going around your house.
717
00:35:42.800 --> 00:35:45.519
In this suit, you just feel a little like.
718
00:35:45.539 --> 00:35:48.239
Your balance is on. Oh, wait, you got daily activities.
719
00:35:48.260 --> 00:35:49.559
You got some laundry to pick up here.
720
00:35:49.860 --> 00:35:52.019
I don't want to pick it up because it feels
721
00:35:52.059 --> 00:35:53.139
like it's going to be hard.
722
00:35:53.199 --> 00:35:54.940
That's why it's been sitting there for a while.
723
00:35:55.059 --> 00:35:57.619
Now I'm like feeling friction because why am I the
724
00:35:57.699 --> 00:35:58.760
one that's picking this thing up?
725
00:35:59.750 --> 00:36:01.489
Okay, so we're gonna keep walking.
726
00:36:01.989 --> 00:36:07.010
Oh, so, okay walk around those.
727
00:36:05.409 --> 00:36:07.289
Missing socks that are always missing there right there.
728
00:36:07.309 --> 00:36:10.010
There's socks on the floor I have the laundry basket
729
00:36:10.070 --> 00:36:14.489
that just burned through like a hundred calories too, but
730
00:36:14.929 --> 00:36:19.699
I can't bend down Okay, now I'm bracing my hand
731
00:36:19.780 --> 00:36:24.360
on my knee to get the socks I'm getting back up.
732
00:36:24.820 --> 00:36:27.079
We step over here because the room that you're going
733
00:36:27.119 --> 00:36:29.880
to is this way. Okay, and And now we're walking out.
734
00:36:29.900 --> 00:36:31.260
How'd that feel? That's exhausting.
735
00:36:31.679 --> 00:36:35.639
That was a lot of friction. And these rounded crocs
736
00:36:36.139 --> 00:36:37.000
do not make it easy.
737
00:36:37.199 --> 00:36:40.019
No. And this is where we start to worry about balance.
738
00:36:40.059 --> 00:36:42.380
Not just strength, but the power of balance. Because as
739
00:36:42.420 --> 00:36:45.730
you mentioned before, if we fall and we break something,
740
00:36:46.329 --> 00:36:48.570
that can be lethal, let alone just a fracture.
741
00:36:48.590 --> 00:36:51.869
Well, and also if you're feeling wobbly, you don't walk easily.
742
00:36:52.429 --> 00:36:56.170
in a way that probably stabilizes you because you're thinking
743
00:36:56.210 --> 00:36:58.269
about falling. Like the whole time I was walking, I'm like,
744
00:36:58.309 --> 00:37:00.190
I can't believe how unstable I am right now.
745
00:37:00.329 --> 00:37:02.690
And remember your suit is only simulating how you feel
746
00:37:02.710 --> 00:37:05.289
in the built environment. I'm not simulating, for instance, right now,
747
00:37:05.710 --> 00:37:09.829
hearing balance related issues with your ears, or maybe frankly,
748
00:37:10.170 --> 00:37:12.190
having bent down, maybe you have high blood pressure. You
749
00:37:12.210 --> 00:37:14.469
went to get up, your blood pressure dropped. You're feeling
750
00:37:14.489 --> 00:37:15.389
a little off balance.
751
00:37:15.590 --> 00:37:15.880
Wow.
752
00:37:16.340 --> 00:37:21.239
It's really stunning how this hits you. Okay, next task.
753
00:37:21.260 --> 00:37:22.750
You want to go for a walk, perhaps? Yes, while
754
00:37:22.809 --> 00:37:24.670
I'm up, I think I better keep moving, because I
755
00:37:24.690 --> 00:37:26.090
think if I sit down, I'm not going to wake up.
756
00:37:26.090 --> 00:37:27.869
Tell you what, one of the challenges, now, I want
757
00:37:27.909 --> 00:37:29.449
to be careful about this, and one of the challenges
758
00:37:29.530 --> 00:37:32.920
is going up and down stairs. Yes. There is a
759
00:37:33.030 --> 00:37:36.739
strong philosophy out there, it's like, everyone should live on
760
00:37:36.780 --> 00:37:42.059
a one-floor home. Perhaps. Perhaps. But remember, those stairs also become,
761
00:37:42.099 --> 00:37:43.420
shall we say, exercise.
762
00:37:43.559 --> 00:37:43.860
Okay.
763
00:37:44.039 --> 00:37:46.300
You never want to make a life so easy that
764
00:37:46.340 --> 00:37:48.820
you lose all the friction because that friction is what's
765
00:37:48.980 --> 00:37:50.679
giving you a little bit of muscle mass. It's giving
766
00:37:50.699 --> 00:37:53.650
you a little bit of, you know, activity, if you will. Gotcha. Now,
767
00:37:53.690 --> 00:37:55.090
that said, let's do the stairs.
768
00:37:55.150 --> 00:37:56.250
Okay, let's do the stairs.
769
00:37:58.010 --> 00:37:59.989
Tell you what. Actually, you go ahead and open the door.
770
00:38:00.010 --> 00:38:04.230
Okay, I open the door. Okay. Here we go.
771
00:38:04.829 --> 00:38:07.860
And, you know, here's just one of those daily activities.
772
00:38:07.320 --> 00:38:10.769
That becomes a little bit, you know, daunting.
773
00:38:11.230 --> 00:38:12.710
Okay. I would use the railing.
774
00:38:13.010 --> 00:38:14.190
I'm definitely going to use the railing.
775
00:38:14.210 --> 00:38:15.929
Everyone of any age should use the railing.
776
00:38:16.130 --> 00:38:20.190
Oh my Lord. I, these bungee cords that are around
777
00:38:20.210 --> 00:38:25.460
my waist attached to my wobbly Crocs make every step
778
00:38:25.599 --> 00:38:29.099
like super deliberate. I mean, I'm not even injured. I
779
00:38:29.219 --> 00:38:30.179
feel like I'm injured.
780
00:38:30.219 --> 00:38:32.199
And you can feel how the rise in the stairs
781
00:38:32.280 --> 00:38:34.440
are just, you know, sometimes a little bit more challenging
782
00:38:34.480 --> 00:38:35.260
than you expected.
783
00:38:35.489 --> 00:38:36.530
I feel this in my hips.
784
00:38:37.289 --> 00:38:37.489
Yep.
785
00:38:38.789 --> 00:38:42.280
Oh my Lord. Let me get to the landing so
786
00:38:42.300 --> 00:38:43.699
I'm stable when I turn around.
787
00:38:45.239 --> 00:38:47.599
Down is often harder on your knees than going up.
788
00:38:48.599 --> 00:38:53.630
So it is very daunting to go downstairs. The Crocs
789
00:38:53.690 --> 00:38:58.429
are wobbly. The bands just kind of remind you that
790
00:38:58.449 --> 00:39:01.050
your legs are there. So something that you took for granted,
791
00:39:02.090 --> 00:39:06.420
you now have to think. about every single step that
792
00:39:06.440 --> 00:39:06.920
you take.
793
00:39:07.019 --> 00:39:09.219
And your vision should be distorting a little bit of
794
00:39:09.280 --> 00:39:10.440
your depth of field.
795
00:39:10.539 --> 00:39:11.039
Oh, it is.
796
00:39:11.059 --> 00:39:14.449
And not being able to turn your neck as well
797
00:39:14.489 --> 00:39:16.550
as you'd like is also making it more difficult to
798
00:39:16.630 --> 00:39:19.769
judge just what your next step is going to be. Oh, yeah.
799
00:39:24.369 --> 00:39:26.230
All of a sudden, when the world starts to have
800
00:39:26.269 --> 00:39:29.130
a little bit more friction, whether it's going up or downstairs,
801
00:39:29.670 --> 00:39:33.840
suddenly like, you know, I might want to go downstairs,
802
00:39:34.099 --> 00:39:36.360
make a cup of tea or make breakfast or something
803
00:39:36.400 --> 00:39:38.409
like that. I just don't feel like it right now.
804
00:39:38.429 --> 00:39:40.170
So I think I'll stay in the bedroom and watch
805
00:39:40.230 --> 00:39:43.469
TV a little bit longer. So suddenly now, what was
806
00:39:43.590 --> 00:39:46.090
once a very large world in your youth starts to
807
00:39:46.150 --> 00:39:49.780
compress and get smaller because the physical environment is not
808
00:39:49.820 --> 00:39:51.440
adapting to what you're doing.
809
00:39:51.719 --> 00:39:53.500
Well, I can see that. And I think every one
810
00:39:53.539 --> 00:39:56.219
of us, if you're listening or if you're watching right now,
811
00:39:56.239 --> 00:39:57.780
I want you to think of somebody in your life
812
00:39:57.820 --> 00:40:00.929
that you care about who, as they're getting older, you've
813
00:40:01.030 --> 00:40:03.769
noticed that their entire world has gotten smaller.
814
00:40:03.789 --> 00:40:03.869
Yeah.
815
00:40:04.489 --> 00:40:08.769
Their friend circle has reduced. They've become less active. And
816
00:40:10.289 --> 00:40:14.619
you really understand when you put this astronaut aging suit
817
00:40:14.639 --> 00:40:18.460
on that it's because it's easier to stay home. It's
818
00:40:18.760 --> 00:40:21.550
easier not to get in the car or go, or
819
00:40:21.590 --> 00:40:24.989
it's easier not to push yourself out the door because
820
00:40:25.110 --> 00:40:29.309
everything changes. just involves a lot more effort. That's the
821
00:40:29.349 --> 00:40:32.929
piece that I think is very striking, that you have
822
00:40:32.989 --> 00:40:35.239
a memory of what it was like to trot down
823
00:40:35.260 --> 00:40:36.840
the stairs. You have a memory of what it was
824
00:40:36.920 --> 00:40:38.699
like to be able to pick up the laundry basket
825
00:40:38.719 --> 00:40:40.420
and not even think twice about it while you were
826
00:40:40.440 --> 00:40:42.659
talking on the phone and you had something under your arm.
827
00:40:43.460 --> 00:40:47.760
And the friction for me is not even the physical
828
00:40:47.820 --> 00:40:51.360
as much as it's the mental of confronting the decline
829
00:40:51.380 --> 00:40:53.800
in capacity, knowing that it wasn't always like this.
830
00:40:54.199 --> 00:40:57.440
And don't underestimate, and we're talking about the world getting smaller.
831
00:40:57.480 --> 00:41:00.760
It's not just about navigating stairs or the kitchen. All
832
00:41:00.780 --> 00:41:03.300
of us worry about how people look at us in
833
00:41:03.340 --> 00:41:03.760
the world.
834
00:41:03.860 --> 00:41:04.139
Yes.
835
00:41:04.380 --> 00:41:07.239
And so there's a certain frustration, too, of like, I
836
00:41:07.340 --> 00:41:10.780
don't want to be seen as struggling or somehow less.
837
00:41:11.179 --> 00:41:14.139
We're living in a faster, faster world where the population
838
00:41:14.199 --> 00:41:16.989
is getting older and may not be able to adapt
839
00:41:17.010 --> 00:41:21.369
to that speed and tempo. So what happens? I don't
840
00:41:21.409 --> 00:41:23.449
want to go out Friday night with you. It's not
841
00:41:23.469 --> 00:41:26.639
that I don't feel well. I just don't feel like it.
842
00:41:26.849 --> 00:41:29.829
And part is because I just don't want those public
843
00:41:29.949 --> 00:41:32.969
eyes watching me go through the door, having a hard
844
00:41:32.989 --> 00:41:34.110
time taking my jacket off.
845
00:41:34.400 --> 00:41:36.440
Yes, that makes a ton of sense.
846
00:41:36.639 --> 00:41:40.579
Pride matters at all ages. Okay, I know you're tired,
847
00:41:40.719 --> 00:41:42.119
so I'll tell you what. Why don't we have you
848
00:41:42.159 --> 00:41:43.219
sit down for a few minutes?
849
00:41:43.260 --> 00:41:45.400
You're reading my mind, Doc. That's all I want to
850
00:41:45.519 --> 00:41:47.820
do is turn on the news and go watch. Not
851
00:41:47.840 --> 00:41:48.940
the news, but thank you.
852
00:41:52.360 --> 00:41:54.260
So I think you're about ready for a rest.
853
00:41:54.500 --> 00:41:55.800
I am ready to sit down.
854
00:41:55.840 --> 00:41:57.659
So why don't you take a seat over here?
855
00:41:57.739 --> 00:42:01.219
One of the things that's also happening is I just
856
00:42:01.280 --> 00:42:04.769
keep expecting the suit not to be here. And I,
857
00:42:05.050 --> 00:42:07.889
you know, I'm like trying to move through it. And
858
00:42:07.969 --> 00:42:12.219
I just feel this sense of like, you know, resignation. Like, okay,
859
00:42:12.280 --> 00:42:13.360
this is just how it is.
860
00:42:13.420 --> 00:42:14.400
It's just another day.
861
00:42:14.420 --> 00:42:17.199
Oh, my God. Okay, this chair is really, whoa. Oh,
862
00:42:17.239 --> 00:42:17.880
my God.
863
00:42:17.900 --> 00:42:19.920
Here's a little lift. And it's back.
864
00:42:20.099 --> 00:42:21.639
How the hell am I going to get out of this?
865
00:42:21.789 --> 00:42:23.389
Well, that's part of the challenge. I mean, this is
866
00:42:23.409 --> 00:42:26.030
the little things that people forget about as we age
867
00:42:26.090 --> 00:42:27.989
or we think about our parents aging. I'm going to
868
00:42:28.030 --> 00:42:30.230
get them a nice, comfortable chair. I'm going to build
869
00:42:30.250 --> 00:42:33.940
an office where it's nice and comfortable. Low, soft chairs.
870
00:42:34.400 --> 00:42:37.630
Just three weeks ago, I was visiting my parents in Florida,
871
00:42:38.389 --> 00:42:42.039
and we went to a furniture store. And I sat
872
00:42:42.059 --> 00:42:44.699
down in this chair and I thought, oh, my God,
873
00:42:44.719 --> 00:42:47.079
this chair is so comfortable. It's amazing. And I said, hey, mom,
874
00:42:47.099 --> 00:42:49.889
sit down in this. And my mom, who is in
875
00:42:49.949 --> 00:42:52.449
great shape, sat down and she's like, I couldn't sit
876
00:42:52.469 --> 00:42:53.989
in this. I said, why? She goes, it's too low.
877
00:42:54.250 --> 00:42:56.309
It's too hard to get out. And I thought, oh,
878
00:42:56.349 --> 00:42:59.929
for God's sakes. And now I'm thinking, I'm such a jerk.
879
00:43:00.639 --> 00:43:02.849
And think of the little friction points you take for granted.
880
00:43:02.909 --> 00:43:04.969
So you're talking about the chair, right? Getting in and
881
00:43:05.050 --> 00:43:06.530
out of the car. And we work with the auto
882
00:43:06.570 --> 00:43:09.050
industry about getting in and out of the cars more
883
00:43:09.090 --> 00:43:11.389
than the battle of driving the car. How about going
884
00:43:11.409 --> 00:43:12.929
to the toilet? A low toilet?
885
00:43:12.949 --> 00:43:13.389
Oh, my gosh.
886
00:43:13.409 --> 00:43:14.409
Good luck getting back up.
887
00:43:14.650 --> 00:43:16.800
Well, that's hard enough for any of us. But, I mean,
888
00:43:16.820 --> 00:43:18.960
I can't even imagine how hard it is when you
889
00:43:19.000 --> 00:43:20.780
walk in and you see a toilet that low and
890
00:43:20.800 --> 00:43:21.960
you think, uh-oh, here we go.
891
00:43:22.400 --> 00:43:25.199
All these things need to be re-engineered for the society
892
00:43:25.239 --> 00:43:28.269
that is coming, not the society that we used to be.
893
00:43:28.429 --> 00:43:31.329
Well, I think what needs to be re-engineered immediately is
894
00:43:31.510 --> 00:43:34.170
just your attitude toward the people that you care about
895
00:43:34.210 --> 00:43:36.730
that are getting older and your attitude and patience level
896
00:43:37.269 --> 00:43:40.380
with people that you encounter every day in your life.
897
00:43:40.440 --> 00:43:42.619
The person who might be taking a little too long
898
00:43:43.079 --> 00:43:45.000
in front of you in the line, the person that's
899
00:43:45.039 --> 00:43:49.280
driving a little slower because they're hesitant. I, it just, it's,
900
00:43:49.519 --> 00:43:53.699
it's just so striking the friction that you feel. And,
901
00:43:53.739 --> 00:43:55.599
you know, I, for the first couple of moments in
902
00:43:55.639 --> 00:43:57.300
this suit, I'm like, okay, I can get through this.
903
00:43:57.320 --> 00:43:59.320
We're going to like, these are wobbly Crocs for crying
904
00:43:59.340 --> 00:44:00.860
out loud. But then you get to the point where
905
00:44:00.900 --> 00:44:03.099
you're just like, all right, this is it. Like, I
906
00:44:03.139 --> 00:44:05.159
just have to stop fighting it. And this is just
907
00:44:05.300 --> 00:44:07.659
kind of what I'm going to have to deal with.
908
00:44:08.050 --> 00:44:09.489
I don't want to get out of the chair because
909
00:44:09.530 --> 00:44:11.050
I feel like this is going to be a chore.
910
00:44:11.070 --> 00:44:13.710
Like if I were sitting here without this astronaut aging
911
00:44:13.730 --> 00:44:16.480
suit on, I would just stand up. And what I
912
00:44:16.559 --> 00:44:20.039
actually have to do is I need to brace and
913
00:44:20.099 --> 00:44:23.539
pull myself forward. And now I've got to get my
914
00:44:23.619 --> 00:44:28.039
feet up underneath me with my wobbly Crocs and now
915
00:44:28.119 --> 00:44:31.619
stand up, which basically feels like your 12th rep of
916
00:44:31.679 --> 00:44:35.000
a squat at the gym weighted with weights up here.
917
00:44:35.119 --> 00:44:36.559
That's what it felt like to get out of that chair.
918
00:44:36.860 --> 00:44:39.119
And you're taking your time. Imagine you were at a restaurant.
919
00:44:39.139 --> 00:44:40.179
You just had about an hour, hour and a half.
920
00:44:40.260 --> 00:44:42.539
And everybody's already stood up and gone. And now there
921
00:44:42.599 --> 00:44:43.989
you are trying to get yourself up.
922
00:44:44.300 --> 00:44:46.599
Or you feel, even if they're not, They're watching you
923
00:44:46.639 --> 00:44:47.360
do it. Yes.
924
00:44:47.619 --> 00:44:48.619
Oh, Grandma's looking old.
925
00:44:48.739 --> 00:44:48.920
Yeah.
926
00:44:49.239 --> 00:44:52.019
Grandma's like, Grandpa's really kind of slowing down because we
927
00:44:52.079 --> 00:44:54.150
all say it. Now we know why.
928
00:44:54.329 --> 00:44:56.070
But you're looking a little thirsty. Would you like a
929
00:44:56.309 --> 00:44:57.150
glass or a bottle of water?
930
00:44:57.170 --> 00:44:57.809
I would love some water.
931
00:44:57.829 --> 00:44:59.329
I'll tell you what. Why don't we step over here?
932
00:44:59.369 --> 00:45:00.190
Let's wet the whistle.
933
00:45:00.309 --> 00:45:00.469
Okay.
934
00:45:00.489 --> 00:45:02.730
And let's try out those hands that you've got.
935
00:45:02.750 --> 00:45:07.199
Okay, so I have on fingerless gloves that, what do
936
00:45:07.239 --> 00:45:07.780
these simulate?
937
00:45:08.130 --> 00:45:12.650
These are more around arthritis, loss of dexterity, but also arthritis,
938
00:45:12.730 --> 00:45:14.630
stiff hands, a little bit of pain going on there.
939
00:45:14.989 --> 00:45:18.409
So one of the number one indicators of older age
940
00:45:18.590 --> 00:45:19.449
is grip strikes.
941
00:45:19.699 --> 00:45:22.619
Okay, I'm holding a plastic water bottle, just your average
942
00:45:22.639 --> 00:45:25.420
plastic water bottle. I take it nobody here glued this shut.
943
00:45:25.440 --> 00:45:26.800
Okay.
944
00:45:28.420 --> 00:45:32.329
Okay. Even like getting my compromised hand.
945
00:45:32.389 --> 00:45:34.090
You're spilling it everywhere. I am.
946
00:45:34.230 --> 00:45:35.630
I did spill that, didn't I?
947
00:45:36.159 --> 00:45:38.030
So here's the funny thing is that we are trying
948
00:45:38.070 --> 00:45:41.199
to be environmentally sensitive with thinner plastic, less, you know,
949
00:45:41.280 --> 00:45:44.840
smaller cap. But that's where green is now conflicting with
950
00:45:44.880 --> 00:45:47.539
a graying society because you need a bigger cap to
951
00:45:47.579 --> 00:45:51.599
get a grip. And with thinner plastic, you're squeezing it hard.
952
00:45:51.679 --> 00:45:53.320
And that's why we have water on the floor.
953
00:45:53.340 --> 00:45:57.639
I literally squeeze this on my hand. You're absolutely right. Wow.
954
00:45:58.320 --> 00:45:58.599
Okay.
955
00:45:59.639 --> 00:46:00.219
That's a pain.
956
00:46:00.579 --> 00:46:01.480
So you want to phone home?
957
00:46:02.000 --> 00:46:03.500
I'd love to call my husband and tell him to
958
00:46:03.519 --> 00:46:05.679
get me out of this aging suit. Okay, so here's
959
00:46:05.699 --> 00:46:09.719
my phone. My vision is compromised. I even have the
960
00:46:09.820 --> 00:46:13.139
giant font on my phone, everybody. So I'm supposed to
961
00:46:13.199 --> 00:46:16.199
call Chris now? Text Chris.
962
00:46:16.389 --> 00:46:16.699
Okay.
963
00:46:18.199 --> 00:46:23.269
Let's see here. Okay. You know how I can tell
964
00:46:23.329 --> 00:46:27.989
it's him? Because there's his blurry photo. And thankfully he's
965
00:46:28.050 --> 00:46:31.030
on my favorites. And If you're listening, I want you
966
00:46:31.050 --> 00:46:34.710
to know the phone is approximately two inches from my face.
967
00:46:35.570 --> 00:46:39.409
I just typed the words hi, and I can't make
968
00:46:39.469 --> 00:46:41.369
out the H in the I, but I know that
969
00:46:41.389 --> 00:46:43.929
that's what that is. Okay, hi. I'm going to do
970
00:46:44.070 --> 00:46:45.639
the little emoji that's popping up.
971
00:46:46.619 --> 00:46:48.179
So why don't you send him a photo as well?
972
00:46:48.420 --> 00:46:50.460
Okay, I probably should since he doesn't know what age
973
00:46:50.519 --> 00:46:50.650
he is.
974
00:46:50.719 --> 00:46:51.880
Are you sure you sent it to Chris and not
975
00:46:51.900 --> 00:46:52.340
somebody else?
976
00:46:53.239 --> 00:46:55.280
It wouldn't be the first time that I missed. Okay,
977
00:46:55.320 --> 00:46:55.679
here we go.
978
00:46:56.530 --> 00:46:56.889
Okay.
979
00:46:57.190 --> 00:46:59.329
Well, I can't reach. Oh, okay.
980
00:46:59.349 --> 00:46:59.909
This sucks.
981
00:47:00.570 --> 00:47:03.750
I'm trying to take a photo in the age astronaut suit, everybody.
982
00:47:04.150 --> 00:47:06.190
And as I, you know how you have to hold
983
00:47:06.289 --> 00:47:09.090
up the phone like with a selfie? Now I'm trying
984
00:47:09.139 --> 00:47:11.389
to reach forward to hit the button in the center
985
00:47:11.409 --> 00:47:13.719
because none of my grandkids taught me that I can
986
00:47:13.760 --> 00:47:15.900
do it on the side. So now I look like
987
00:47:15.940 --> 00:47:17.360
an idiot in front of everybody.
988
00:47:17.380 --> 00:47:19.219
We need a spare Gen Z or millennial to do
989
00:47:19.260 --> 00:47:19.800
it for us.
990
00:47:19.900 --> 00:47:21.420
So I'm going to hit this button. Here we go.
991
00:47:22.219 --> 00:47:24.239
I'm faking a smile because this is awful.
992
00:47:25.840 --> 00:47:26.179
Okay.
993
00:47:26.619 --> 00:47:28.190
There we go, Chris. Now let's see if I can
994
00:47:28.210 --> 00:47:30.949
get this to him. Oh, I don't know what that means.
995
00:47:31.510 --> 00:47:34.510
I don't know what the buttons are. Okay, hold on.
996
00:47:34.530 --> 00:47:37.889
There he is. Thank God for the photos. There we go.
997
00:47:38.010 --> 00:47:38.750
I just sent it to him.
998
00:47:39.489 --> 00:47:41.949
So if you think about these technologies, the way they're designed,
999
00:47:41.969 --> 00:47:45.349
they're designed primarily for younger fingers, younger eyes and whatnot,
1000
00:47:45.809 --> 00:47:48.750
but they're vital to our connection. And we are now more,
1001
00:47:49.050 --> 00:47:51.010
shall we say, connected by high tech than we are
1002
00:47:51.070 --> 00:47:53.139
with high touch. So all of a sudden now that
1003
00:47:53.179 --> 00:47:55.829
was more important than just the interface. It was about
1004
00:47:55.889 --> 00:47:57.969
how you stay connected, not just with your husband, but
1005
00:47:58.349 --> 00:47:58.949
everyone else.
1006
00:47:58.989 --> 00:48:00.809
Well, you can also see how you would lean back
1007
00:48:00.849 --> 00:48:05.110
and opt out from tech because it feels overwhelming. And
1008
00:48:05.159 --> 00:48:08.460
if nobody's there to help you really assimilate it into
1009
00:48:08.500 --> 00:48:10.679
your life, you just sort of opt out. And then
1010
00:48:10.699 --> 00:48:13.099
we make fun of somebody for not being with the
1011
00:48:13.159 --> 00:48:15.820
times or not knowing the trends or not understanding. And
1012
00:48:15.840 --> 00:48:19.230
so you can see how somebody would just slowly back away.
1013
00:48:20.110 --> 00:48:21.530
from wanting to be in touch with everybody.
1014
00:48:21.550 --> 00:48:23.929
Because you don't want to feel that you're incompetent on something.
1015
00:48:23.949 --> 00:48:25.869
But I have to tell you, at the Age Lab,
1016
00:48:25.909 --> 00:48:28.429
you know what we call technology that's hard to use,
1017
00:48:28.469 --> 00:48:32.150
hard to see, and difficult to understand? Bad technology. It
1018
00:48:32.210 --> 00:48:34.670
is the only industry in the world that dares to
1019
00:48:34.710 --> 00:48:38.820
accuse the consumer of not being competent. If you can't
1020
00:48:38.940 --> 00:48:41.260
use it, that's the technology's fault, not yours.
1021
00:48:42.030 --> 00:48:44.179
This is so second nature to be able to text
1022
00:48:44.219 --> 00:48:47.000
Chris that I would have typically been able to do
1023
00:48:47.039 --> 00:48:50.880
that in five to ten seconds. No question. And what's
1024
00:48:50.920 --> 00:48:54.269
really interesting about this experience as you're listening or watching
1025
00:48:54.349 --> 00:48:58.349
is that, keep in mind, you are having trouble doing
1026
00:48:58.449 --> 00:48:59.840
things you have always done.
1027
00:48:59.860 --> 00:48:59.940
Yeah.
1028
00:49:00.969 --> 00:49:03.150
And that's where a lot of the friction comes. I mean,
1029
00:49:03.210 --> 00:49:05.030
you've spent your whole life getting in and out of chairs.
1030
00:49:05.110 --> 00:49:06.989
And now suddenly you can't. You've spent your whole life
1031
00:49:07.030 --> 00:49:09.409
going up and downstairs. Suddenly you can't. Like for the
1032
00:49:09.449 --> 00:49:13.329
person that is actually living in the age suit right now,
1033
00:49:14.030 --> 00:49:16.789
you already have the tight joints. It's hard to pick
1034
00:49:16.849 --> 00:49:19.969
up the laundry basket. What is the message that you
1035
00:49:20.090 --> 00:49:23.739
want that person To hear from you about what's possible
1036
00:49:23.840 --> 00:49:27.809
in terms of gaining some of your strength and autonomy
1037
00:49:28.010 --> 00:49:31.650
back and tapping back into your life and widening the
1038
00:49:31.750 --> 00:49:34.309
aperture rather than making it so small.
1039
00:49:34.889 --> 00:49:37.289
There are three things that that person, but not just
1040
00:49:37.329 --> 00:49:40.389
that person, but the people who love them, their adult children,
1041
00:49:40.409 --> 00:49:43.269
their spouse, their partner, whatever it might be. Three things
1042
00:49:43.309 --> 00:49:46.090
to think about. One is that you can get some
1043
00:49:46.150 --> 00:49:49.909
capability back. So that working out, that nutrition is about
1044
00:49:49.949 --> 00:49:52.320
what you can do to improve, shall we say, the
1045
00:49:52.380 --> 00:49:56.420
original equipment. The second thing is the built environment itself,
1046
00:49:56.579 --> 00:49:59.400
the house, the car, whatever. Start to arrange things, not
1047
00:49:59.440 --> 00:50:01.880
just because you think they're aesthetically nice, but how do
1048
00:50:01.900 --> 00:50:05.480
you arrange the right furniture, the right way to organize
1049
00:50:05.519 --> 00:50:07.579
your kitchen to make it so it's easy for you
1050
00:50:07.619 --> 00:50:10.719
to maneuver every day to reduce that friction? And the
1051
00:50:10.739 --> 00:50:12.849
third one, and this is the hardest, You can eat,
1052
00:50:12.989 --> 00:50:16.010
you can do nutrition, you can rearrange your lifestyle. The
1053
00:50:16.030 --> 00:50:20.079
third one, ask for help. Ask for support. So think
1054
00:50:20.119 --> 00:50:23.400
about yourself, the environment, and the human element.
1055
00:50:23.539 --> 00:50:25.659
What I love about this episode that we're doing is
1056
00:50:25.719 --> 00:50:29.639
that you can use this episode as a resource. You
1057
00:50:29.679 --> 00:50:32.090
can send it with somebody in your life who is
1058
00:50:32.309 --> 00:50:35.030
older or send it to somebody in your life who's
1059
00:50:35.070 --> 00:50:38.070
younger who doesn't understand and use this as a way
1060
00:50:38.110 --> 00:50:41.429
to open up the conversation with the people in your
1061
00:50:41.489 --> 00:50:43.829
life about the support that you need.
1062
00:50:44.070 --> 00:50:46.469
Mel, you just put your finger on the most important
1063
00:50:46.530 --> 00:50:48.769
thing you could do to plan for a better longevity.
1064
00:50:49.570 --> 00:50:53.940
The conversation. There's no reason to feel that aging has
1065
00:50:53.980 --> 00:50:57.099
to be something you do alone. It's a conversation with
1066
00:50:57.119 --> 00:50:59.750
the people you love, the people that you call friends,
1067
00:51:00.369 --> 00:51:03.320
about how to rearrange the environment. What is it that
1068
00:51:03.400 --> 00:51:05.780
we can do to improve each other's lives?
1069
00:51:05.960 --> 00:51:08.139
I also love that we have this now as an
1070
00:51:08.199 --> 00:51:14.119
episode for doctors, physicians, therapists, nurses, people working in nursing
1071
00:51:14.179 --> 00:51:17.679
homes and schools to be able to send to families
1072
00:51:17.820 --> 00:51:20.429
as something to listen to so that you can have
1073
00:51:20.449 --> 00:51:25.949
the conversation in a very powerful and supportive and empathetic way.
1074
00:51:26.320 --> 00:51:29.320
And again, it's not about, quote unquote, those old people.
1075
00:51:29.659 --> 00:51:31.710
This is something that we all have a vested interest in.
1076
00:51:31.710 --> 00:51:33.690
It's coming for all of us, everybody.
1077
00:51:34.590 --> 00:51:35.369
There's no exit.
1078
00:51:35.449 --> 00:51:37.869
There's no exit. There's just how you move toward it.
1079
00:51:38.710 --> 00:51:41.210
Okay. Well, I think you've had enough fun. It's time
1080
00:51:41.250 --> 00:51:42.150
to take the suit off.
1081
00:51:42.949 --> 00:51:45.199
Those are music to my ears.
1082
00:51:46.800 --> 00:51:47.139
Dr.
1083
00:51:47.179 --> 00:51:51.260
Coughlin has so much more specific advice when we return.
1084
00:51:51.539 --> 00:51:52.239
Don't go anywhere.
1085
00:51:59.230 --> 00:52:02.469
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1089
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1092
00:52:20.579 --> 00:52:21.780
Football is back.
1093
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1094
00:52:24.639 --> 00:52:25.460
with old friends.
1095
00:52:25.929 --> 00:52:27.619
Even the grumpy ones.
1096
00:52:27.889 --> 00:52:28.610
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1097
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1104
00:52:55.369 --> 00:52:57.349
Welcome back. It's your friend, Mel. Thank you for being
1105
00:52:57.389 --> 00:53:00.130
here with me today. Thank you for listening all the
1106
00:53:00.170 --> 00:53:03.329
way to this point and for sharing this extraordinary episode
1107
00:53:03.369 --> 00:53:05.809
with people in your life that you truly care about
1108
00:53:05.869 --> 00:53:08.590
because we're learning how to stay strong, sharp, and independent
1109
00:53:08.909 --> 00:53:11.889
for 100 years. With the number one longevity expert, I'm
1110
00:53:11.929 --> 00:53:16.440
talking about MIT Age Lab Director, Dr. Joseph Coughlin. And
1111
00:53:16.519 --> 00:53:19.400
so we're going to start ripping off the Velcro. You know,
1112
00:53:19.559 --> 00:53:21.380
can I just say something? I can't even get the
1113
00:53:21.400 --> 00:53:24.099
damn Velcro off these weights, the weighted vest with these
1114
00:53:24.159 --> 00:53:24.829
gloves on.
1115
00:53:25.659 --> 00:53:28.050
Lauren's here to help you, but while you're taking this
1116
00:53:28.090 --> 00:53:28.670
suit off.
1117
00:53:29.090 --> 00:53:31.849
I can't get these weights off. This is so... It's
1118
00:53:31.909 --> 00:53:38.000
not that it's hard. It's so frustrating. You feel almost like...
1119
00:53:38.840 --> 00:53:40.690
I don't know, a little demoralized.
1120
00:53:41.309 --> 00:53:43.969
Did you have an aha moment, though, about being able
1121
00:53:44.010 --> 00:53:47.409
to see, frankly, this could be my future self, and
1122
00:53:47.449 --> 00:53:51.260
now you're more empowered or wanting to go to the gym, perhaps?
1123
00:53:51.280 --> 00:53:52.639
Well, I don't want to do the interview. I want
1124
00:53:52.659 --> 00:53:55.119
to go do some weightlifting because I don't want this
1125
00:53:55.139 --> 00:53:57.059
to be my future. And I know based on the
1126
00:53:57.099 --> 00:54:01.780
research that... if you stay active and you can start
1127
00:54:01.820 --> 00:54:04.900
at any age, it helps your joints from getting stiff.
1128
00:54:04.980 --> 00:54:09.389
It helps your balance. It helps your muscles be able
1129
00:54:09.510 --> 00:54:13.030
to stay strong so that they're not hanging off of
1130
00:54:13.090 --> 00:54:16.500
you when creating all this extra weight. And that it
1131
00:54:16.599 --> 00:54:19.300
really is important. You know, we can talk all we
1132
00:54:19.340 --> 00:54:24.619
want about how longevity, living a great life, for me means,
1133
00:54:24.639 --> 00:54:25.699
you know, I want to be able to put my
1134
00:54:25.780 --> 00:54:29.880
suitcase in the overhead when I'm traveling to visit a
1135
00:54:29.920 --> 00:54:32.659
grandchild in my 90s. I want to dance at weddings.
1136
00:54:32.719 --> 00:54:34.619
I want to be able to walk with my friends.
1137
00:54:34.699 --> 00:54:38.420
I want to be able to cook and live independently
1138
00:54:38.480 --> 00:54:39.539
if that's what I choose.
1139
00:54:39.619 --> 00:54:41.530
It's funny, in older age, we often think about, will
1140
00:54:41.590 --> 00:54:43.719
I have enough money? But what you're talking about is
1141
00:54:43.780 --> 00:54:47.309
the real currency of longevity. The capacity to put that
1142
00:54:47.369 --> 00:54:50.369
suitcase up and go visit. Yes. Preferably without a lot
1143
00:54:50.409 --> 00:54:50.630
of help.
1144
00:54:50.909 --> 00:54:53.409
Well, and I'll take the help, but I don't want
1145
00:54:53.429 --> 00:54:55.610
to feel like I need it to, like I can't
1146
00:54:55.630 --> 00:54:57.579
get the hand weights off. These are only two pounds.
1147
00:54:57.619 --> 00:55:01.679
Like that's nothing. And it feels like everything. And so
1148
00:55:01.699 --> 00:55:04.420
the big aha moment for me, again, in two areas.
1149
00:55:04.719 --> 00:55:07.889
One is for myself personally. There are things I need
1150
00:55:07.909 --> 00:55:10.210
to be doing and you need to be doing as
1151
00:55:10.250 --> 00:55:14.510
you listen to this or watch this. that extend your
1152
00:55:14.750 --> 00:55:17.659
life and the joy you will feel and the energy
1153
00:55:17.679 --> 00:55:21.920
you will have by decades. And how it's not the,
1154
00:55:22.280 --> 00:55:24.219
what is it? It's not the years in your life,
1155
00:55:24.300 --> 00:55:27.059
it's the life in your years. And that's what this
1156
00:55:27.139 --> 00:55:29.690
is really about. And the second thing is, I feel
1157
00:55:29.730 --> 00:55:34.130
like a giant schmucko for, I'm not kidding, for either
1158
00:55:34.170 --> 00:55:37.369
being frustrated with the people in my life that have
1159
00:55:37.409 --> 00:55:42.119
gotten older or being impatient. With somebody who is taking
1160
00:55:42.159 --> 00:55:45.030
a little longer or driving a little slower or walking
1161
00:55:45.070 --> 00:55:50.909
a little slower or being judgy of somebody who is
1162
00:55:51.269 --> 00:55:55.250
asking about tech or asking the same question again or
1163
00:55:55.429 --> 00:55:58.760
doesn't like the chair because it sits a little low
1164
00:55:59.219 --> 00:56:01.719
and it's hard to get out of and you like
1165
00:56:01.780 --> 00:56:04.719
the chair because it's nice. And so I just have had...
1166
00:56:05.019 --> 00:56:08.599
two massive aha moments, one related to personal motivation and
1167
00:56:08.639 --> 00:56:11.420
why it matters at a deeper level. It's not about
1168
00:56:11.599 --> 00:56:15.760
bathing suits and fitting into pants. It's about putting more
1169
00:56:15.840 --> 00:56:18.429
joy and years into the life that you have.
1170
00:56:18.449 --> 00:56:20.469
You've got more time. Now, how do we cash that
1171
00:56:20.489 --> 00:56:23.570
time in to be joyful? And I'm hoping that, you know,
1172
00:56:23.590 --> 00:56:26.349
through your experience just now, that there's another point. It's
1173
00:56:26.389 --> 00:56:29.610
not just about how we individually need to eat, exercise,
1174
00:56:30.030 --> 00:56:32.699
and all that to improve our personal function. but also
1175
00:56:32.760 --> 00:56:36.300
people often pursue behaviors because other people encourage them to
1176
00:56:36.340 --> 00:56:38.500
do it or other people around them are doing the
1177
00:56:38.539 --> 00:56:41.699
same thing. So if you're a younger adult child or something,
1178
00:56:42.039 --> 00:56:45.079
the idea of really give your parents or a loved
1179
00:56:45.199 --> 00:56:48.019
one a that a boy, that a girl for working
1180
00:56:48.099 --> 00:56:51.019
out or encourage them to work out for their own good.
1181
00:56:51.119 --> 00:56:53.139
And frankly, if you're a caregiver for your good too.
1182
00:56:53.159 --> 00:56:55.760
Well, we're going to talk more about caregiving and why
1183
00:56:55.860 --> 00:57:00.039
this matters so much for you if you're caring for
1184
00:57:00.079 --> 00:57:02.780
little kids, if you're caring for aging parents, why it
1185
00:57:03.599 --> 00:57:06.519
is so important that you figure out small ways to
1186
00:57:06.559 --> 00:57:09.579
take care of yourself. And by taking care of yourself,
1187
00:57:09.599 --> 00:57:13.099
we're talking sleep. We're talking you making time to still exercise.
1188
00:57:13.139 --> 00:57:15.579
We're talking about you eating what you need to eat.
1189
00:57:16.219 --> 00:57:19.940
You finding one point every week where you're doing something
1190
00:57:19.960 --> 00:57:21.489
just for you, whether it's reading a book.
1191
00:57:21.550 --> 00:57:21.699
Yep.
1192
00:57:21.920 --> 00:57:24.739
We're going to, you know, a spiritual thing. Oh, just
1193
00:57:24.760 --> 00:57:26.849
shimmy that sucker right off. There we go. Couldn't get
1194
00:57:26.889 --> 00:57:30.750
the belt off, everybody, even without the hand restraints. With
1195
00:57:30.789 --> 00:57:32.389
my own hands, I wasn't that good at it. All right,
1196
00:57:32.409 --> 00:57:33.469
we're gonna take off the suit.
1197
00:57:33.510 --> 00:57:36.070
You're gonna feel a momentary relief as soon as this
1198
00:57:36.190 --> 00:57:36.809
all starts coming off.
1199
00:57:36.829 --> 00:57:39.449
Oh, my God, you guys. I have to get this
1200
00:57:39.530 --> 00:57:40.489
weighted vest off?
1201
00:57:41.349 --> 00:57:42.909
Boy, you can't wait.
1202
00:57:43.590 --> 00:57:44.570
How do I get this off?
1203
00:57:44.610 --> 00:57:44.929
Okay.
1204
00:57:45.519 --> 00:57:48.119
Oh, my God. Oh, my gosh.
1205
00:57:48.980 --> 00:57:51.159
Wow. Wow.
1206
00:57:52.639 --> 00:57:56.940
Wow, get these Crocs off. I want to feel my
1207
00:57:57.179 --> 00:57:58.440
feet on the ground.
1208
00:57:58.639 --> 00:58:01.260
Yep, steady. Steady, steady.
1209
00:58:01.559 --> 00:58:04.460
Oh, my God. Get these goggles off.
1210
00:58:04.480 --> 00:58:05.659
Get your glasses back on.
1211
00:58:05.659 --> 00:58:09.539
Get my glasses back on. Holy cow. I feel like
1212
00:58:09.599 --> 00:58:10.480
a completely different person.
1213
00:58:10.500 --> 00:58:12.260
See, Lauren looks really sweet, but see what she does
1214
00:58:12.280 --> 00:58:13.480
to a person in five minutes?
1215
00:58:15.139 --> 00:58:20.559
It's weird how different that was. I don't want that
1216
00:58:20.599 --> 00:58:21.360
to be what happens.
1217
00:58:21.440 --> 00:58:22.380
So you've got to work for it.
1218
00:58:23.300 --> 00:58:24.880
You've got to work for it. I think now that
1219
00:58:24.920 --> 00:58:30.239
you understand what's coming, it's important to understand what you're
1220
00:58:30.280 --> 00:58:35.480
working for. And that the body and the human body
1221
00:58:35.559 --> 00:58:39.940
is incredible. I like to think about the fact that
1222
00:58:39.960 --> 00:58:42.530
we're all like wilting plants in the corner. A little
1223
00:58:42.550 --> 00:58:44.550
bit of sun and water would perk right back up.
1224
00:58:44.630 --> 00:58:47.010
And I think that's true about sleep and movement and
1225
00:58:47.050 --> 00:58:48.630
resistance training and exercise.
1226
00:58:48.670 --> 00:58:50.190
And by the way, it's not just what we're doing
1227
00:58:50.250 --> 00:58:55.360
for ourselves. We invest financially for our own security so
1228
00:58:55.380 --> 00:58:59.550
that we're not a burden on others. Investing in yourself physically, nutritionally,
1229
00:58:59.619 --> 00:59:04.510
cognitively is an investment for others as well. Look, aging
1230
00:59:04.769 --> 00:59:08.289
is inevitable. How you age is not necessarily so.
1231
00:59:08.610 --> 00:59:10.599
And how we support the people around us us who
1232
00:59:10.659 --> 00:59:13.000
are aging is 1000% your control.
1233
00:59:13.179 --> 00:59:13.599
Exactly.
1234
00:59:13.679 --> 00:59:17.050
And that's one of the biggest things that this experience
1235
00:59:17.090 --> 00:59:20.610
has taught me that I have major amount of changing
1236
00:59:20.650 --> 00:59:25.690
to do personally. So I want to unpack this like
1237
00:59:25.769 --> 00:59:27.590
step by step by step to make sure that as
1238
00:59:27.630 --> 00:59:30.530
you've been listening or you've been watching this, that you
1239
00:59:30.710 --> 00:59:35.769
really get the most important takeaways for you and yourself personally,
1240
00:59:35.869 --> 00:59:38.050
and also for your family and the people that you
1241
00:59:38.070 --> 00:59:39.710
care about. Because I know this is going to be
1242
00:59:39.789 --> 00:59:43.929
one of these conversations that spreads around the world and
1243
00:59:44.150 --> 00:59:47.289
creates so much positive change for people personally and within
1244
00:59:47.309 --> 00:59:49.010
their families. So let's go back in the studio.
1245
00:59:49.050 --> 00:59:49.929
Sounds like a plan.
1246
00:59:50.889 --> 00:59:54.849
So we are back in the studio and everybody on
1247
00:59:54.889 --> 00:59:57.929
the team, Dr. Coughlin has come up to me since
1248
00:59:58.530 --> 01:00:01.590
doing the suit. and just said, you know, what was
1249
01:00:01.610 --> 01:00:03.730
that like? Holy cow, it was unbelievable to see you
1250
01:00:03.750 --> 01:00:06.769
do that. And I really did feel like my grandmother.
1251
01:00:07.230 --> 01:00:10.670
Is it a perfect simulation? No, but it's close enough
1252
01:00:10.710 --> 01:00:13.320
to give you that aha for your grandmother, or frankly,
1253
01:00:13.340 --> 01:00:15.530
the way my students, the researchers, and the companies we
1254
01:00:15.570 --> 01:00:17.619
work with, is to give them a sense of what
1255
01:00:17.659 --> 01:00:20.099
it's like to walk in that consumer's shoes, whether it's
1256
01:00:20.139 --> 01:00:23.079
senior living, the drugstore, frankly, just going out to eat.
1257
01:00:23.500 --> 01:00:28.360
I have to ask you, how prepared are people in
1258
01:00:28.440 --> 01:00:33.889
general for facing the phase of life where it's retirement
1259
01:00:34.170 --> 01:00:38.090
or your capacity to move through your life is starting
1260
01:00:38.170 --> 01:00:39.030
to decline.
1261
01:00:39.489 --> 01:00:41.429
The fact of the matter is that most of us
1262
01:00:42.320 --> 01:00:45.860
plan for retirement, but we don't prepare for retirement. It
1263
01:00:45.900 --> 01:00:47.559
sounds like a word game. I don't mean it to be.
1264
01:00:48.360 --> 01:00:50.579
I want you to think about this. Planning is much
1265
01:00:50.639 --> 01:00:54.429
like a grocery list. It's the intent to eat. But
1266
01:00:54.510 --> 01:00:56.650
anyone who's in charge of shopping, shall we say, we
1267
01:00:56.949 --> 01:00:58.869
know that until it's in the cart, in the cabinet,
1268
01:00:58.889 --> 01:01:01.849
or frankly on the plate, you're not eating. And that's
1269
01:01:01.889 --> 01:01:06.630
the preparedness. The preparedness part is, are you aware of
1270
01:01:06.670 --> 01:01:09.010
the things you need to do? Are you giving it
1271
01:01:09.030 --> 01:01:12.530
a little attention? Then ultimately, are you taking action? And
1272
01:01:12.610 --> 01:01:15.280
so bottom line is, we are not prepared very well
1273
01:01:15.320 --> 01:01:15.480
at all.
1274
01:01:16.269 --> 01:01:17.730
And what do you want us to know about what's
1275
01:01:17.769 --> 01:01:18.570
actually possible?
1276
01:01:18.929 --> 01:01:21.889
Think about this. The 30 extra years we have gained
1277
01:01:21.929 --> 01:01:25.239
in longevity since the year 1900, that's a dividend to
1278
01:01:25.280 --> 01:01:29.300
be cashed in, not something to be wallowing sadness about.
1279
01:01:29.900 --> 01:01:31.440
So what I want people to think about is that
1280
01:01:31.719 --> 01:01:34.699
the joy that they can achieve, the daily moments, but
1281
01:01:34.739 --> 01:01:38.860
more importantly, being prepared is not just about being a good,
1282
01:01:38.940 --> 01:01:41.900
rational person. It's also an act of love, an act
1283
01:01:41.920 --> 01:01:43.989
of love for yourself. An act of love for those
1284
01:01:44.010 --> 01:01:45.070
that you love and the like.
1285
01:01:45.380 --> 01:01:48.280
For the person who's in the state that I am in,
1286
01:01:48.539 --> 01:01:50.760
all of my friends are in right now. We're all
1287
01:01:50.840 --> 01:01:54.159
talking about it. We're trying to gently open the door
1288
01:01:54.199 --> 01:01:57.619
and have the conversation. I'm grateful that you're here because
1289
01:01:57.840 --> 01:02:00.769
this episode is a wonderful way to open the door.
1290
01:02:01.550 --> 01:02:04.869
But what's one step that the person listening or watching
1291
01:02:04.969 --> 01:02:11.820
can take to start having this conversation again? about setting
1292
01:02:11.989 --> 01:02:16.369
somebody up to age well and have all these components
1293
01:02:16.489 --> 01:02:17.809
in place so that you can.
1294
01:02:17.929 --> 01:02:22.889
You know, for the most important technology out there is
1295
01:02:22.949 --> 01:02:26.230
the conversation. It's not an app. It's not a gee whiz.
1296
01:02:26.269 --> 01:02:29.659
It's not genetics or space travel. It really is the conversation.
1297
01:02:29.679 --> 01:02:31.860
And one of the things I want you to think about,
1298
01:02:31.880 --> 01:02:34.880
I want everyone to think about, is that we do
1299
01:02:34.960 --> 01:02:38.090
not have a story for old age. We have a
1300
01:02:38.170 --> 01:02:41.409
story that old age is somewhere between cruises and crutches,
1301
01:02:41.429 --> 01:02:45.610
and we forget all the chapters in between. And so
1302
01:02:45.630 --> 01:02:47.949
my team at the MIT Age Lab did some awesome
1303
01:02:48.010 --> 01:02:50.670
work with our partners at John Hancock to develop a map.
1304
01:02:52.280 --> 01:02:55.619
of what longevity is going to be like. In fairness,
1305
01:02:55.980 --> 01:02:58.920
we've never had a generation of people living this long
1306
01:02:59.000 --> 01:03:03.010
with this high of expectations, with not just one generation
1307
01:03:03.090 --> 01:03:05.869
caring for another. We all talk about the sandwich generation.
1308
01:03:06.369 --> 01:03:08.369
The heck with that. There's no sandwich generation. We have
1309
01:03:08.409 --> 01:03:12.030
a panini generation now because people in their 60s are
1310
01:03:12.090 --> 01:03:14.429
caring for parents in their 80s and 90s. And by
1311
01:03:14.469 --> 01:03:18.010
the way, that 40-something-year-old mom with kids and working full-time
1312
01:03:18.030 --> 01:03:20.139
is worried about the 60-year-old as much as she's worrying
1313
01:03:20.159 --> 01:03:24.480
about the grandparents. So suddenly, this is new. We've always
1314
01:03:24.500 --> 01:03:28.050
had older people, but not with this much time and expectation.
1315
01:03:28.090 --> 01:03:32.730
So we created this idea of a longevity preparedness index.
1316
01:03:33.010 --> 01:03:35.300
And so we pulled all this research from around the
1317
01:03:35.340 --> 01:03:36.980
world and stuff we've been doing at the lab for
1318
01:03:36.980 --> 01:03:41.780
25 years. And we found eight different dimensions to start
1319
01:03:41.820 --> 01:03:43.699
that conversation that we're talking about.
1320
01:03:43.860 --> 01:03:46.550
And we're going to go through the longevity preparedness index.
1321
01:03:46.590 --> 01:03:48.869
There are eight different stages. Eight dimensions.
1322
01:03:49.090 --> 01:03:51.849
All right, so let's look at those eight dimensions. First
1323
01:03:51.949 --> 01:03:54.869
one is the obvious one. And certainly with Agnes, you
1324
01:03:54.889 --> 01:03:58.389
can appreciate this, is the health-related issue. Are you pursuing
1325
01:03:58.429 --> 01:04:02.829
behaviors and nutrition that make sense? Finance? Hey, when you
1326
01:04:02.849 --> 01:04:05.550
think about old age and retirement, basically the entire world
1327
01:04:05.570 --> 01:04:07.860
has you believing it's either health Or it's wealth.
1328
01:04:07.980 --> 01:04:09.960
That's true. That's all you think about, health and wealth.
1329
01:04:10.019 --> 01:04:12.369
Those are the bookends. But think about all those chapters
1330
01:04:12.409 --> 01:04:14.190
in between. So finance is certainly.
1331
01:04:13.889 --> 01:04:15.510
An important part. And those are just the first two.
1332
01:04:15.610 --> 01:04:18.769
So first one is health. Second one is finance. And
1333
01:04:18.809 --> 01:04:19.579
now what are the other six?
1334
01:04:19.590 --> 01:04:21.110
And by the way, this is not priority, but this
1335
01:04:21.130 --> 01:04:23.929
is just the list. I know you're interviewing me, but
1336
01:04:23.949 --> 01:04:25.269
I'm going to ask you the question. What's the most
1337
01:04:25.329 --> 01:04:26.809
important number in your old age?
1338
01:04:28.170 --> 01:04:28.730
I don't know.
1339
01:04:28.809 --> 01:04:31.739
It's not your 401k balance. It's not your blood pressure,
1340
01:04:31.760 --> 01:04:32.579
your cholesterol.
1341
01:04:32.639 --> 01:04:34.219
Is it the number of people I'm living with?
1342
01:04:34.639 --> 01:04:38.360
Actually, it's your zip code. Your zip code predicts everything
1343
01:04:38.440 --> 01:04:41.119
from the access to the people that you love, the
1344
01:04:41.179 --> 01:04:43.480
things that you need, to that ice cream cone that
1345
01:04:43.500 --> 01:04:45.780
we were talking about. In fact, do you know that
1346
01:04:45.800 --> 01:04:48.219
studies have been done that shows that zip codes right
1347
01:04:48.320 --> 01:04:51.519
next to each other can mean 9 to 13 years
1348
01:04:51.639 --> 01:04:53.579
difference in your longevity overall?
1349
01:04:53.900 --> 01:04:54.360
Really?
1350
01:04:54.380 --> 01:04:58.760
So the third dimension is community. Choose well. Choose where
1351
01:04:58.800 --> 01:04:59.199
you live.
1352
01:04:59.320 --> 01:05:00.579
We all want to know the zip codes.
1353
01:05:00.780 --> 01:05:04.280
So I teach urban planning, so I'll say it's intensity, density,
1354
01:05:04.320 --> 01:05:07.860
and accessibility. Intensity is, are there things to do that
1355
01:05:07.909 --> 01:05:11.789
are fun, that kind of keep you alive, but also
1356
01:05:11.829 --> 01:05:15.449
the things you need? Access to transportation, access to health care.
1357
01:05:15.829 --> 01:05:19.179
And by the way, access to volunteering work and the
1358
01:05:19.480 --> 01:05:22.780
parks and the like. Density. Are they close enough where
1359
01:05:22.800 --> 01:05:24.699
you can get to them? If you choose not to drive,
1360
01:05:24.760 --> 01:05:27.619
can't drive, are they nearby? That ice cream cone that's
1361
01:05:27.679 --> 01:05:30.880
too far away? You don't need it. But boy, that
1362
01:05:31.059 --> 01:05:33.719
doesn't bring a smile to your face. And then, frankly,
1363
01:05:33.760 --> 01:05:37.260
the accessibility part, which is, you know, how accessible are
1364
01:05:37.300 --> 01:05:41.730
these things both physically and affordability and the like? And
1365
01:05:41.889 --> 01:05:44.809
I'll even give you a tool. AARP's got a livability
1366
01:05:44.969 --> 01:05:47.130
index where you can pop in a zip code and
1367
01:05:47.150 --> 01:05:48.909
it will give you a score as to what the
1368
01:05:48.989 --> 01:05:52.010
livability is of that given community that you may be
1369
01:05:52.050 --> 01:05:54.760
planning for. or frankly, the one that you live in now.
1370
01:05:55.159 --> 01:05:56.980
And it makes sense. As I'm sitting here thinking, I
1371
01:05:57.019 --> 01:05:59.219
live in Southern Vermont. I have to drive everywhere. I
1372
01:05:59.239 --> 01:06:01.159
don't see another house from where I live. I'm in
1373
01:06:01.179 --> 01:06:03.659
a rural area, even though I'm just a couple miles
1374
01:06:03.699 --> 01:06:05.969
from a really nice town with all the things that
1375
01:06:05.989 --> 01:06:08.829
I could possibly need. I can't get there unless I
1376
01:06:09.110 --> 01:06:11.949
want to walk for two hours or I am in
1377
01:06:11.969 --> 01:06:14.369
a car. And I'm thinking, okay, I can only live
1378
01:06:14.389 --> 01:06:16.030
here for so long that I'm going to have to
1379
01:06:16.409 --> 01:06:18.590
go somewhere else. This is not a good retirement option
1380
01:06:18.610 --> 01:06:19.679
unless I have kids all over.
1381
01:06:20.110 --> 01:06:23.659
Part of aging well is choosing where to age is
1382
01:06:23.760 --> 01:06:27.440
one of the most important things. Fourth one is home.
1383
01:06:28.300 --> 01:06:31.260
Is your home going to support you? Whether it's not
1384
01:06:31.300 --> 01:06:35.159
just about stairs, but it's about maintenance, about how difficult
1385
01:06:35.260 --> 01:06:38.389
is it to remain in that home overall. The next one,
1386
01:06:38.590 --> 01:06:42.409
life transitions. How well are we prepared for the transitions
1387
01:06:42.449 --> 01:06:45.909
we have in life from retirement to caregiving? to having
1388
01:06:45.969 --> 01:06:48.210
to move and the like. Have we thought about how
1389
01:06:48.230 --> 01:06:49.389
we're going to do that, who we're going to do
1390
01:06:49.429 --> 01:06:53.050
it with? Daily activities. This is the Tuesday morning question
1391
01:06:53.090 --> 01:06:55.530
at 1030. What are the things, have you thought about
1392
01:06:55.590 --> 01:06:57.349
what you're going to be doing on any given day
1393
01:06:57.670 --> 01:07:01.250
without the structure of work, without having the structure of caregiving,
1394
01:07:01.369 --> 01:07:06.829
kids and the like? Social connection. Again, the social portfolio idea.
1395
01:07:07.190 --> 01:07:09.170
So we talk about who's, what's in your wallet, what's
1396
01:07:09.210 --> 01:07:12.349
in your portfolio. And the last one is caregiving. And
1397
01:07:12.389 --> 01:07:16.789
probably the biggest thing that was overwhelming is caregiving had
1398
01:07:16.829 --> 01:07:20.179
the lowest score in terms of people being prepared to
1399
01:07:20.239 --> 01:07:23.059
provide care for another. That one was a 42.
1400
01:07:23.059 --> 01:07:26.559
Oh, you are flunking out of school if you're getting
1401
01:07:26.599 --> 01:07:26.900
a 42.
1402
01:07:26.900 --> 01:07:29.730
And what's amazing about that, to quote Rosalind Carter, or
1403
01:07:29.769 --> 01:07:31.829
to paraphrase her, one of the things that she said
1404
01:07:31.889 --> 01:07:34.409
is that at some point in life, all of us
1405
01:07:34.449 --> 01:07:39.090
will either be a care recipient or a caregiver. The
1406
01:07:39.130 --> 01:07:41.650
problem is, Mel, we don't have the conversations. Our same
1407
01:07:41.710 --> 01:07:45.250
study with Hancock indicated 70% of us believe that our
1408
01:07:45.289 --> 01:07:48.699
significant other or our adult child will provide us with care.
1409
01:07:49.400 --> 01:07:53.079
Only 30% of us have had the conversation. So it's
1410
01:07:53.119 --> 01:07:55.239
like going to your typically, and I keep on hammering
1411
01:07:55.260 --> 01:07:59.199
the adult daughters. I'm sorry, guys. But yes, men are caregivers.
1412
01:07:59.239 --> 01:08:01.909
But overwhelmingly, the number one caregiver in your life is
1413
01:08:01.929 --> 01:08:04.929
your spouse. And after that, the oldest adult daughter. Without
1414
01:08:04.949 --> 01:08:07.909
that conversation... It's like, surprise, I'm home.
1415
01:08:08.449 --> 01:08:10.570
For the person who's listening, and you're part of the
1416
01:08:10.570 --> 01:08:12.929
70% of people. Who have not had the conversation. Who
1417
01:08:12.969 --> 01:08:15.909
have not had the conversation. Or you've tried and you
1418
01:08:15.949 --> 01:08:21.340
got nowhere. What is the best first step, Dr. Coughlin,
1419
01:08:22.000 --> 01:08:23.239
to begin the conversation?
1420
01:08:23.619 --> 01:08:25.659
I would cut it down to, shall we say, some
1421
01:08:25.800 --> 01:08:31.199
simple questions overall. You have a conversation, multiple, because there's
1422
01:08:31.239 --> 01:08:35.239
no one and done. This is going to continue. About who, where.
1423
01:08:36.229 --> 01:08:39.909
what and how. So the who part is, you know,
1424
01:08:40.289 --> 01:08:43.560
kind of gently go into who is going to provide care?
1425
01:08:44.000 --> 01:08:46.300
Who do you think is going to provide care? Who's
1426
01:08:46.340 --> 01:08:51.579
going to help with the hands-on caregiving we're talking about overall?
1427
01:08:52.100 --> 01:08:53.970
But there's another side of who. A lot of us
1428
01:08:54.010 --> 01:08:57.430
have somebody to care for us for medications and dressing
1429
01:08:57.449 --> 01:09:00.210
and around the house, but also who's going to make
1430
01:09:00.229 --> 01:09:03.789
the decisions? Who do you want making decisions if you can't?
1431
01:09:04.170 --> 01:09:07.489
So those are two different conversations that need to be
1432
01:09:07.560 --> 01:09:10.600
had gently over time, but they need to be had.
1433
01:09:11.319 --> 01:09:14.420
How about the where? When it comes time for caregiving,
1434
01:09:14.800 --> 01:09:17.060
where do you want that care to happen? Do you
1435
01:09:17.109 --> 01:09:19.640
want home care? Do you want to come live with
1436
01:09:19.680 --> 01:09:22.939
your adult children? Do you want to be in senior living?
1437
01:09:23.659 --> 01:09:26.279
What are the values, if you will, about the where?
1438
01:09:27.039 --> 01:09:30.140
And by the way, the what overall is, and this
1439
01:09:30.199 --> 01:09:34.079
is the hardest conversation, what matters? How about dignity? What
1440
01:09:34.100 --> 01:09:36.420
are you willing to put up with to either maintain
1441
01:09:36.439 --> 01:09:39.640
your life, extend your life, and the like? And then
1442
01:09:39.659 --> 01:09:42.279
there's the obvious question everyone goes to first, the how.
1443
01:09:42.760 --> 01:09:45.260
How do we pay for this? How do the mechanics work?
1444
01:09:45.739 --> 01:09:49.520
So when we have the conversation, it's multiple. It's who, where, what,
1445
01:09:49.819 --> 01:09:51.180
and how. You know, Dr.
1446
01:09:51.199 --> 01:09:54.579
Coughlin, when you talked about this longevity preparedness index, and
1447
01:09:54.619 --> 01:09:59.979
you found after doing this massive study, and you discovered
1448
01:10:00.050 --> 01:10:03.989
that the area where people are the least prepared is caregiving,
1449
01:10:04.609 --> 01:10:08.010
that 70% of us have not even had the conversation yet,
1450
01:10:08.689 --> 01:10:12.279
and that based on the research and common sense, it
1451
01:10:12.350 --> 01:10:16.270
tends to fall based on catastrophe to the oldest daughter.
1452
01:10:16.409 --> 01:10:16.590
Yes.
1453
01:10:16.869 --> 01:10:20.090
Do you have insight into why is it the eldest
1454
01:10:20.149 --> 01:10:23.130
daughter that tends to be the one that the caregiving
1455
01:10:23.189 --> 01:10:23.869
falls to?
1456
01:10:24.710 --> 01:10:29.229
Look, it's unfair. It's not about gender. It's not about biology.
1457
01:10:29.550 --> 01:10:35.970
It's about role. And traditionally across cultures, women tend to
1458
01:10:36.050 --> 01:10:40.180
be the caregiver. look, I don't want to indict my
1459
01:10:40.260 --> 01:10:43.739
gender of guys. We will clean your gutters. We may
1460
01:10:43.840 --> 01:10:46.319
help you with your finances. I'll take out your trash.
1461
01:10:47.460 --> 01:10:51.039
Generally speaking, and I said generally, so please don't get
1462
01:10:51.079 --> 01:10:54.619
all excited there. Generally speaking, it will be the older
1463
01:10:54.649 --> 01:10:56.439
adult daughter. It's going to help you when you need
1464
01:10:56.470 --> 01:10:59.710
to get dressed. So it tends to be a role there.
1465
01:11:00.090 --> 01:11:02.630
But I have to tell you, while caregiving has great
1466
01:11:02.710 --> 01:11:06.069
joys and rewards, and you hear caregivers say after the
1467
01:11:06.130 --> 01:11:08.619
loved one has passed, It was the most important, most
1468
01:11:08.720 --> 01:11:12.300
thing they've ever done. There is a cost. It's physical.
1469
01:11:12.859 --> 01:11:16.960
It's emotional. And indeed, it's also financial. And she is
1470
01:11:17.000 --> 01:11:18.760
more likely to pay for it than anybody else.
1471
01:11:19.500 --> 01:11:22.640
I think this is one of those conversations that people
1472
01:11:22.680 --> 01:11:25.020
are going to listen to and be moved by and
1473
01:11:25.060 --> 01:11:30.439
then share it inside their family. If the person that's
1474
01:11:30.460 --> 01:11:33.479
listening right now got this sent to them by somebody
1475
01:11:33.699 --> 01:11:36.689
in their family, what do you want them to know
1476
01:11:37.710 --> 01:11:41.489
in terms of the invitation that's here right now about
1477
01:11:41.529 --> 01:11:45.109
your role to play, whether it's in your own aging
1478
01:11:45.390 --> 01:11:49.760
or it's in your role to play related to how
1479
01:11:49.819 --> 01:11:51.880
somebody in your family may be aging?
1480
01:11:52.899 --> 01:11:54.979
You know, there are a few things, and my team
1481
01:11:55.020 --> 01:11:58.399
at the MIT Age Lab has a panel of caregivers.
1482
01:11:58.760 --> 01:12:01.359
We call it Care Hive, so several thousand caregivers around
1483
01:12:01.380 --> 01:12:04.779
the world that we tend to ask them about those
1484
01:12:04.840 --> 01:12:09.350
micro moments of caregiving. And when my team came up
1485
01:12:09.380 --> 01:12:11.890
with the idea, I did not, wanted to do it.
1486
01:12:12.100 --> 01:12:15.039
I said, really, guys? These people are busy, they're stressed,
1487
01:12:15.319 --> 01:12:18.060
and you want to hammer them with focus groups, surveys, whatever?
1488
01:12:18.819 --> 01:12:21.810
One of the things that we learned, the caregivers wanted
1489
01:12:21.850 --> 01:12:24.649
to participate. Because here's a question no one ever asks
1490
01:12:24.710 --> 01:12:28.810
the caregiver. How are you doing? Not just the loved
1491
01:12:28.869 --> 01:12:31.369
one that they're caring for, but how are you doing?
1492
01:12:31.909 --> 01:12:34.890
And so that little study that's ongoing is asking people
1493
01:12:35.010 --> 01:12:36.890
not just what you're doing, but how you're doing. So
1494
01:12:36.909 --> 01:12:39.069
one of the things to think about is make sure
1495
01:12:39.109 --> 01:12:42.789
that you're asking how they're doing and helping them care
1496
01:12:42.890 --> 01:12:47.229
for themselves. Because the cost, as I mentioned, is the physical.
1497
01:12:47.390 --> 01:12:51.699
Do you know that caregivers are more likely to express fatigue, headache,
1498
01:12:52.600 --> 01:12:57.699
and like emotionally, depression, feeling alone, and financial. And this
1499
01:12:57.779 --> 01:13:00.399
is the really hard work that we've been doing with
1500
01:13:00.420 --> 01:13:03.770
the financial services industry. Women are more likely to either
1501
01:13:03.850 --> 01:13:05.949
step out of a job entirely because they're having to
1502
01:13:05.989 --> 01:13:09.050
care for a loved one full time or not take
1503
01:13:09.090 --> 01:13:11.710
a promotion because the promotion may have travel and I've
1504
01:13:11.729 --> 01:13:13.609
got to make sure I take care of mom overall
1505
01:13:14.100 --> 01:13:16.939
or because of the financial cost of caregiving. Even if
1506
01:13:16.979 --> 01:13:19.800
that loved one has finances, he's going to set her back.
1507
01:13:20.199 --> 01:13:24.340
So women effectively have a triple threat. They're caring for others.
1508
01:13:24.859 --> 01:13:27.500
They're jeopardizing their own finances, which means that by the
1509
01:13:27.539 --> 01:13:29.460
time the third, they get to their own old age,
1510
01:13:29.880 --> 01:13:31.640
they are not prepared for their own old age.
1511
01:13:32.630 --> 01:13:35.890
I hadn't even thought about the financial impact, because even
1512
01:13:35.949 --> 01:13:38.109
if you're caring for somebody who's aging, who has their
1513
01:13:38.149 --> 01:13:41.630
own money, if it's compromising your ability to make money.
1514
01:13:42.090 --> 01:13:44.329
One in four families in the United States, and even
1515
01:13:44.390 --> 01:13:46.890
more so in Europe and the like, provide upwards of
1516
01:13:46.890 --> 01:13:50.710
25 to 29 hours a week for caregiving. If you're
1517
01:13:50.770 --> 01:13:54.350
over 50, one in three families are providing upwards of
1518
01:13:54.350 --> 01:13:56.930
25 to 29 hours a week for caregiving. This is
1519
01:13:56.970 --> 01:13:59.880
a personal issue that should be a public problem, a
1520
01:13:59.939 --> 01:14:03.739
public discussion. But here's the thing, Mel. Women tend to
1521
01:14:03.840 --> 01:14:06.180
find a partner or marry someone who's a few years
1522
01:14:06.260 --> 01:14:09.060
older than they are. They also tend to live seven
1523
01:14:09.100 --> 01:14:12.340
to eight years longer. That means that while you're planning
1524
01:14:12.399 --> 01:14:16.300
for old age and retirement together, she lives in second
1525
01:14:16.380 --> 01:14:21.159
retirement of a decade alone. And so preparing for all
1526
01:14:21.199 --> 01:14:24.779
the years that she gave to everyone else, she now
1527
01:14:24.859 --> 01:14:27.800
needs to make sure she's financially, emotionally, and physically cared
1528
01:14:27.840 --> 01:14:29.079
for in older age.
1529
01:14:30.220 --> 01:14:34.119
What are the top three things challenges, frictions, if you will,
1530
01:14:34.159 --> 01:14:35.359
that caregivers face?
1531
01:14:35.640 --> 01:14:39.399
Caregivers are more likely to point to, first one, health.
1532
01:14:39.899 --> 01:14:43.029
Not just managing health, but the complexity of managing the health.
1533
01:14:43.130 --> 01:14:46.229
When you start managing three, four, five, more likely seven
1534
01:14:46.270 --> 01:14:49.130
medications a day, you may have a loved one who's
1535
01:14:49.170 --> 01:14:52.180
not exactly being as compliant as you wish. You know,
1536
01:14:52.220 --> 01:14:53.939
the person who said that they're feeling dizzy and not
1537
01:14:53.979 --> 01:14:55.800
well on weekend, you take them to the doctor on
1538
01:14:55.840 --> 01:14:58.699
Monday morning, you're trying to be their advocate and they're going,
1539
01:14:58.739 --> 01:15:00.779
oh no, I was fine. I'm not, you know, so
1540
01:15:01.000 --> 01:15:04.439
you're kind of in that middle ground. Second one is
1541
01:15:04.899 --> 01:15:08.130
largely around finance. You know, it's interesting. We are more
1542
01:15:08.210 --> 01:15:12.590
willing to talk about our health, our caregiving, our failures
1543
01:15:13.010 --> 01:15:16.270
than we are about our money. And at some point,
1544
01:15:16.789 --> 01:15:19.760
a family member, hopefully one that you trust because fraud
1545
01:15:19.810 --> 01:15:22.770
and scams more likely to come from someone close to
1546
01:15:22.810 --> 01:15:25.289
you than someone in a foreign country over online.
1547
01:15:25.310 --> 01:15:27.850
Wait, the scams are more likely to come from somebody
1548
01:15:27.890 --> 01:15:28.590
close to you?
1549
01:15:28.810 --> 01:15:32.289
Unfortunately, you've got a lot of fraud that you have
1550
01:15:32.390 --> 01:15:35.989
with family members, caregivers that mean well and eventually do
1551
01:15:36.050 --> 01:15:38.810
not mean well. And that's a major point of research
1552
01:15:39.229 --> 01:15:43.680
at the Age Lab right now. So the financial considerations
1553
01:15:43.729 --> 01:15:47.279
of how are things organized? Where do I have the
1554
01:15:47.340 --> 01:15:49.800
ability to make a decision for you if you can
1555
01:15:49.859 --> 01:15:52.189
no longer do it? And how do you have the
1556
01:15:52.229 --> 01:15:55.109
conversation when somebody says, no, that's none of your business,
1557
01:15:55.189 --> 01:15:57.869
even if the person's meaning well? Wow.
1558
01:15:57.949 --> 01:15:58.689
And what's the third?
1559
01:15:58.770 --> 01:16:00.350
The third one is the one that is kind of
1560
01:16:00.369 --> 01:16:03.789
the sleeping giant, because this has been consistent for more
1561
01:16:03.850 --> 01:16:07.689
than 60 years of aging research and caregiving. The third
1562
01:16:07.810 --> 01:16:11.220
one is transportation. In fact, Mel, I'll give you a
1563
01:16:11.409 --> 01:16:14.100
data point that even the best financial advisor does not know.
1564
01:16:14.670 --> 01:16:17.770
Do you know the top three costs of retirement for
1565
01:16:17.810 --> 01:16:21.840
a couple over 65? Everybody always jumps up healthcare. Okay,
1566
01:16:21.880 --> 01:16:26.880
that's number two. First one is home. Number three is transportation.
1567
01:16:26.880 --> 01:16:30.729
70% of Americans over age 50 live in suburban and
1568
01:16:30.770 --> 01:16:33.390
rural areas where there's no transit or it's not transit
1569
01:16:33.409 --> 01:16:37.090
you want to use or there's no alternatives. So caregivers
1570
01:16:37.250 --> 01:16:39.470
often report that the big challenge they have for that
1571
01:16:39.529 --> 01:16:42.180
number three is God, I got to take time from
1572
01:16:42.260 --> 01:16:44.279
work to make sure mom gets to the doctor. Or
1573
01:16:44.340 --> 01:16:46.710
Saturday morning, I have a lot of things I need
1574
01:16:46.729 --> 01:16:48.210
to do. I got to go take the kids to
1575
01:16:48.409 --> 01:16:50.250
practice or whatever it might be. But also I got
1576
01:16:50.270 --> 01:16:51.930
to make sure mom gets to the grocery store. I
1577
01:16:51.949 --> 01:16:53.890
got to check in on mom to make sure, you know,
1578
01:16:53.930 --> 01:16:55.489
I can help clean up around the house and give
1579
01:16:55.510 --> 01:16:59.069
her a ride to a friend or get out. Transportation
1580
01:16:59.449 --> 01:17:01.479
is not about getting from point A to B. That's
1581
01:17:01.500 --> 01:17:05.520
the easy stuff. Transportation is the very glue that holds
1582
01:17:05.579 --> 01:17:08.039
the big and little things we call life together.
1583
01:17:08.720 --> 01:17:11.939
Can we talk about keys? You mentioned do not roll
1584
01:17:11.979 --> 01:17:15.500
into like a holiday and say, pass the peas and
1585
01:17:15.520 --> 01:17:16.880
give me your keys, mom and dad.
1586
01:17:16.899 --> 01:17:19.859
Yeah, no, overall. And here's the challenge. A lot of
1587
01:17:19.899 --> 01:17:22.319
people think that older drivers is that they show up
1588
01:17:22.350 --> 01:17:25.090
at Thanksgiving. They haven't seen mom or dad for six months,
1589
01:17:25.130 --> 01:17:27.350
maybe a year, maybe even more. And they kind of
1590
01:17:27.369 --> 01:17:30.590
look at the table and go, gee, he's gotten kind
1591
01:17:30.609 --> 01:17:32.329
of older, hasn't he? And it's like, I don't think
1592
01:17:32.350 --> 01:17:35.079
he should be driving. Mel, this is how the age
1593
01:17:35.140 --> 01:17:38.739
lab started around older drivers. We know this area very well.
1594
01:17:39.619 --> 01:17:43.300
It is not about birthdays. Birthdays do not kill. Health
1595
01:17:43.340 --> 01:17:47.260
conditions do. And so it's about the health conditions, the
1596
01:17:47.340 --> 01:17:51.310
medications they're taking, what combination, nutrition. As I like to say,
1597
01:17:51.350 --> 01:17:52.930
I'd rather get in a car with an 80-year-old who's
1598
01:17:52.970 --> 01:17:56.409
in decent shape than a 30-year-old taking allergy medication. And
1599
01:17:56.479 --> 01:17:58.100
so one of the things we have to think about
1600
01:17:58.319 --> 01:18:01.039
is how do you have that conversation when there does
1601
01:18:01.159 --> 01:18:03.560
come a time when driving is a problem? If they
1602
01:18:03.579 --> 01:18:08.020
confuse the pedals, we're done. Look for patterns, not just like,
1603
01:18:08.060 --> 01:18:10.220
you know, one mailbox being knocked over. Well, a lot
1604
01:18:10.260 --> 01:18:11.699
of us do that and we don't talk about it.
1605
01:18:12.000 --> 01:18:15.529
But doing it as a pattern, now we got an issue. So, yeah,
1606
01:18:15.770 --> 01:18:18.609
having the conversation is not simply about passing the peas
1607
01:18:18.630 --> 01:18:21.090
and handing over the keys. It's about doing your homework.
1608
01:18:21.310 --> 01:18:23.449
How's that person going to get out? How are they
1609
01:18:23.470 --> 01:18:25.810
going to get to the things they need? But more importantly,
1610
01:18:25.850 --> 01:18:27.710
in terms of quality of life, how are they going
1611
01:18:27.750 --> 01:18:29.489
to get to the things and the people they love
1612
01:18:29.750 --> 01:18:34.260
and want? So first thing to do with them, start experimenting.
1613
01:18:34.659 --> 01:18:37.239
Start coming up with who's going to provide rides. If
1614
01:18:37.260 --> 01:18:40.539
they've never taken a rideshare opportunity with Lyft, Uber, or
1615
01:18:40.600 --> 01:18:43.289
whoever is in the neighborhood, do it while they don't
1616
01:18:43.329 --> 01:18:44.829
have to so they get it over with.
1617
01:18:45.510 --> 01:18:49.949
I can feel that sense of urgency building inside me.
1618
01:18:50.100 --> 01:18:54.380
I know there are very specific people I'm sending this
1619
01:18:54.439 --> 01:18:57.199
to in my family. Hi, mom and dad and my brother.
1620
01:18:57.760 --> 01:19:00.680
How are you? Let's talk about this episode. And I'm
1621
01:19:00.720 --> 01:19:03.520
sure you're feeling the same way. And that's why I
1622
01:19:03.560 --> 01:19:06.369
wanted to ask you, Dr. Coughlin, after all the extraordinary
1623
01:19:06.430 --> 01:19:09.510
things that you have taught us today, shared with us today,
1624
01:19:10.050 --> 01:19:15.189
educated us about today. If the person listening takes just
1625
01:19:15.729 --> 01:19:19.270
one thing from this extraordinary conversation, what do you think
1626
01:19:19.289 --> 01:19:22.069
the most important thing to take away is?
1627
01:19:22.100 --> 01:19:25.600
You know, my dissertation advisor taught me that if you
1628
01:19:25.619 --> 01:19:28.680
don't have three examples, you don't have a point. So
1629
01:19:29.560 --> 01:19:32.140
I'm going to give you three takeaways, but this one
1630
01:19:32.199 --> 01:19:37.819
is the most important one. Have the conversation. Longevity is
1631
01:19:37.840 --> 01:19:42.430
a family project. It's not an individual thing. Talk about care, housing,
1632
01:19:42.829 --> 01:19:46.399
what matters before the crisis happens. Because when the crisis happens,
1633
01:19:47.000 --> 01:19:50.260
somebody falls, breaks a hip on Friday. They're hospitalized, surgery
1634
01:19:50.300 --> 01:19:54.420
by Sunday. By Monday, the hospital's saying, congratulations, mom's coming home.
1635
01:19:55.220 --> 01:19:56.319
Who, what, where, how?
1636
01:19:56.520 --> 01:20:00.100
Remember those questions around caregiving. The second one, this becomes
1637
01:20:00.159 --> 01:20:03.539
more personal for a couple or individual. Plan for Tuesday.
1638
01:20:03.979 --> 01:20:07.340
That Tuesday at 1030, that's really real. You need to
1639
01:20:07.800 --> 01:20:10.340
add structure to a life that was always structured until
1640
01:20:10.359 --> 01:20:14.180
the day you retire. And the third one, stop postponing
1641
01:20:14.199 --> 01:20:17.399
your future you. There are things you can do today.
1642
01:20:17.880 --> 01:20:21.470
Preparation is not about control. It's not just about independence.
1643
01:20:21.520 --> 01:20:25.199
It's not about financial security alone. Preparation is an act
1644
01:20:25.239 --> 01:20:28.409
of love, a love of self, a love of your
1645
01:20:28.430 --> 01:20:30.869
significant other, and a love of all those that you
1646
01:20:30.970 --> 01:20:33.229
think you're going to be depending on over time.
1647
01:20:34.890 --> 01:20:35.229
Dr.
1648
01:20:35.609 --> 01:20:35.949
Coughlin.
1649
01:20:36.369 --> 01:20:37.350
What are your parting words?
1650
01:20:38.029 --> 01:20:41.050
Parting words is I don't want anyone to believe that
1651
01:20:41.210 --> 01:20:45.159
older age is something that we should fear. This is
1652
01:20:45.220 --> 01:20:48.619
a gift of time. You know, since people crawled out
1653
01:20:48.659 --> 01:20:51.779
of the ooze, if you will, we've wanted to live longer,
1654
01:20:51.880 --> 01:20:57.989
whether it's endless life, eternal life, trying to find all
1655
01:20:58.050 --> 01:20:59.810
kinds of things going on to make sure that we
1656
01:20:59.850 --> 01:21:01.930
live longer. In fact, think of the billions now going
1657
01:21:01.970 --> 01:21:05.630
into longevity tech. that we're going to live to 100, 150.
1658
01:21:05.609 --> 01:21:08.930
That's great. But I want you to look at older
1659
01:21:09.140 --> 01:21:12.359
age as a gift of a dividend of upwards of
1660
01:21:12.539 --> 01:21:17.779
three to four decades longer than our grandparents, great-grandparents may
1661
01:21:17.800 --> 01:21:21.319
have enjoyed. A child born today, one half of them,
1662
01:21:21.380 --> 01:21:25.020
it is said, are likely to live 100 years. We
1663
01:21:25.039 --> 01:21:26.779
don't know how to cash in the years we have.
1664
01:21:27.720 --> 01:21:30.479
Let's make living longer, living better.
1665
01:21:31.680 --> 01:21:35.449
Well, Dr. Coughlin, I just... have to say you are
1666
01:21:35.470 --> 01:21:40.729
a gift. This research is so important. There are very
1667
01:21:40.789 --> 01:21:44.710
few conversations that you have that both change your mind,
1668
01:21:45.970 --> 01:21:50.109
that open you up to an entirely different perspective, and
1669
01:21:50.149 --> 01:21:54.720
that soften your heart in a way that can not
1670
01:21:54.770 --> 01:21:58.699
only transform your own life, but can improve the relationships
1671
01:21:58.779 --> 01:22:00.899
that you have with the people that you care about.
1672
01:22:01.810 --> 01:22:05.550
And this one has had a very deep impact on
1673
01:22:05.590 --> 01:22:08.869
me personally. I know it's going to have an impact
1674
01:22:09.130 --> 01:22:13.470
on my family. And I am also certain that there
1675
01:22:13.510 --> 01:22:16.979
will be millions of families around the world who will
1676
01:22:17.029 --> 01:22:23.119
navigate this differently, more compassionately, because of what you taught
1677
01:22:23.180 --> 01:22:24.220
us today. So thank you.
1678
01:22:24.239 --> 01:22:26.779
Mel, my team has done amazing work at the MIT
1679
01:22:26.840 --> 01:22:29.579
Asia Lab, but you're doing something that we cannot do.
1680
01:22:30.149 --> 01:22:33.489
Before their action, there must be attention. And thank you
1681
01:22:33.850 --> 01:22:34.989
for making that happen.
1682
01:22:35.250 --> 01:22:38.590
You're welcome. And I want to thank you. Thank you.
1683
01:22:38.670 --> 01:22:38.949
Dr.
1684
01:22:38.989 --> 01:22:43.310
Coughlin just said it. You gave your time and attention,
1685
01:22:43.350 --> 01:22:49.340
your most precious resource, to this conversation. And that really matters.
1686
01:22:49.479 --> 01:22:51.279
And in case no one else tells you, as your friend,
1687
01:22:51.340 --> 01:22:53.039
I wanted to be sure to tell you that I
1688
01:22:53.119 --> 01:22:54.899
love you and I believe in you. And I believe
1689
01:22:54.920 --> 01:22:57.710
in your ability to create a better life. And what Dr.
1690
01:22:57.770 --> 01:23:01.310
Coughlin has taught us today about the opportunity, the gift
1691
01:23:01.430 --> 01:23:04.510
of all of these additional years, he has taught us
1692
01:23:04.590 --> 01:23:07.560
how not to just live more years, but to put
1693
01:23:07.609 --> 01:23:11.939
more life into those years. And what a gift that is. Alrighty,
1694
01:23:12.220 --> 01:23:13.760
I will see you in the very next episode. I'll
1695
01:23:13.800 --> 01:23:20.119
welcome you in the moment you hit play. Maybe you're
1696
01:23:20.180 --> 01:23:22.140
seeing this right now, that the lives of the people
1697
01:23:22.180 --> 01:23:26.340
that you love are shrinking. As they're getting older. Is
1698
01:23:26.359 --> 01:23:29.319
that right? Does that sound good? Okay. You know, looking
1699
01:23:29.359 --> 01:23:31.489
at you hurts. A lot of people say that.
1700
01:23:31.529 --> 01:23:32.470
Will you stop, doc?
1701
01:23:32.510 --> 01:23:42.329
We are in for an extraordinary eye-opening and helpful. We
1702
01:23:42.430 --> 01:23:46.909
are in, you and I are in for an extraordinary, eye-opening,
1703
01:23:47.220 --> 01:23:52.500
and profoundly helpful conversation for you and your family. Oh,
1704
01:23:52.560 --> 01:23:55.239
my gosh. Okay, thank you for bending down because these
1705
01:23:55.319 --> 01:23:57.439
pants do not have stretch in them. This was really
1706
01:23:57.539 --> 01:23:58.100
dumb of me.
1707
01:23:58.340 --> 01:23:58.659
Okay.
1708
01:23:58.800 --> 01:24:01.720
All right, so I'm putting on one leg of, this
1709
01:24:01.800 --> 01:24:03.720
is the easy part, I think. I need to hold
1710
01:24:03.800 --> 01:24:04.439
on to your shoulder.
1711
01:24:04.460 --> 01:24:05.399
This is the jumpsuit.
1712
01:24:05.500 --> 01:24:09.159
Okay, my pants literally are not. Great. Oh, my God.
1713
01:24:09.439 --> 01:24:10.340
So good.
1714
01:24:10.359 --> 01:24:11.319
All right, thank you.
1715
01:24:11.989 --> 01:24:18.659
Yes, you killed it. Oh, and one more thing. And no,
1716
01:24:19.199 --> 01:24:23.270
this is not a blooper. This is the legal language.
1717
01:24:23.470 --> 01:24:26.029
You know what the lawyers write and what I need
1718
01:24:26.050 --> 01:24:29.909
to read to you. This podcast is presented solely for
1719
01:24:30.010 --> 01:24:34.539
educational and entertainment purposes. I'm just your friend. I am
1720
01:24:34.640 --> 01:24:38.600
not a licensed therapist. And this podcast is not intended
1721
01:24:38.739 --> 01:24:43.279
as a substitute for the advice of a physician, professional coach, psychotherapist,
1722
01:24:43.359 --> 01:24:46.090
or other qualified professional. Got it?
1723
01:24:46.600 --> 01:24:46.850
Good.
1724
01:24:47.310 --> 01:24:48.489
I'll see you in the next episode.
1725
01:24:51.489 --> 01:25:01.409
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