Stop Saving Face And Start Saving Your Ass

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Welcome back to Just Your Average Joel podcast.
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We're going to uh go over last week we went over step four.
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We're gonna recap go into step five, but Joel is trying to get to the bottom of why people aren't having this essential psychic change in the 12-step programs, an extraordinary experience that he had, and we're trying to put our finger on it.
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And now I give you Joel.
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Hey everybody, welcome back.
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This is Joel.
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We are going to be talking about the fifth step.
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Well, we're gonna recap a little bit.
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I'm gonna get into uh little run through one, two, three.
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I mean, why and just what Jen led to.
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Why are people not having the spiritual experience?
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Why, you know, it's a it's a very uh peculiar thing when you hear people talk uh in the program and you'll hear people talk about spiritual experience and being connected or a relationship, and it seems like it happens, I don't know, I guess like, and I I I don't want to be kind of rude about it, but it's almost like God pops out of your ass at like 12 or something, or they do all the steps and then all of a sudden something happens.
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And what they're missing, and what is being missed, and it's it's listen, it's right there in black and white in the book.
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Um nobody's hiding this from you.
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How it goes about in the third step when they talk about on page 63, just skipping through obviously we need a higher power, we're hopeless, gotta be a uh a power that'll bring about an essential psychic change that's gonna have to be a supernatural thing, it's gonna have to be a little bit bigger than right, just uh some little power, maybe a human power.
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Oh, and it points to that over and over and over.
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If you've been if you're seriously, I couldn't know human power, can't return through human power.
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So we get to this place where you make that decision, it says it says that a f that this a consciousness happens, that we are reborn.
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It says we we begin to uh experience the consciousness of God.
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We we are uh it says our fears fall from us.
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On page 63 is the best place to to look at that, and it says we were reborn.
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And there's a big thing about being reborn.
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Reborn, if you look at other people, pastors, there's a lot of people that talk about being reborn, and they talk about in fact Christ himself said you cannot see the kingdom of God unless you're reborn.
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So that's and what are we doing here really?
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We're trying to what is God's will for me in my life?
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What is God's will for me in my life?
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Well, the way the 12 steps are set up is we we take away what isn't God's will in our life.
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See, I'm a s uh what how I believe it when they say you're creating his image and likeness, this is how I'm created.
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All the things that I've become over the last X amount of years are what I've piled on it.
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So what we're really doing is uncovering who God created me to be and who he wanted me to be originally.
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So I'm really all the, you know, your parents, and it really, you know, it's none of their fault, but it's like, watch out for this, be careful about this.
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So you, you know, and then if you have the peculiar twist of an alcoholic and a twisted mind, the fearfulness and the acting, and I act this way and I act that way, and I become more and more separated from who I really am.
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Who I really am is a loving child of God, created in God's image and likeness.
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So what we're trying to do is uncover that.
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So that third step is very important.
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Now you think, right, when you talk about I'm I'm if I sincerely do this, and it says we've thought long and hard about the third step, that we could utterly now abandon ourselves to God.
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Uh sometimes it says a big feeling was felt at once.
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But when I get sincere about that, you think the loving God, our Father, or however you want to put it, is wanting, He wants to be close to me.
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He's there for me.
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But don't you think these are the obstacles in my path that when it talks about on 72, we've done, we've done the uh inventory and we're trying to get a new relationship with our creator?
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You think God's like having a stumbling block here?
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God's wanting to reveal that to me.
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But the sincerity, and that's a big part of this whole thing, the sincerity of me wanting to have a relationship with God brings about me me being able to see what is blocking me from this God, right?
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So page 72 on the top of 72.
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Can you read some of the stuff, Jen?
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Uh on page 72 in the big book, it's really because it's it's it's after you've done your four-step.
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We've gone through the four-step.
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Now listen, in your four-step, it's talking a lot about prayer, right?
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It was talking about uh the four-step prayer.
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Pray for me not to be angry about this person, reveal this to me.
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I was shocked that I saw, I've been sober over 30 years.
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I was reading it and it says, in meditation, we ask what God, ask God in each certain, and they're talking about sex situations, what he thinks about this.
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And it says, if you're whatever, the answer will come almost like 11-step stuff, where you're praying to God when you're going through the four-step.
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So your relationship, just so you know, has already started.
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You're in a relationship with God.
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The four-step is part of that relationship.
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I'm going to God, I'm saying, okay, God, these are the things, help me uncover how what would you want me to be?
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How do you want me to live and start and uncover this stuff?
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God's making that possible.
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Oh, well, it's just what church was on this morning about being restored.
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Who's restoring you and what are you being restored to?
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Exactly.
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Step two.
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Exactly.
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Exactly.
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So so when we get into that, 72, can you read the top of 72?
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Just so um having had having made our personal inventory, what shall we do about it?
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We've been trying to get a new attitude, a new relationship with our creator, and to discover the obstacles in our path.
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Exactly.
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Go ahead.
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We've admitted certain defects, we've ascertained in a rough way what the trouble is.
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We put our finger on the weak items in our personal inventory.
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Now these are about to be cast out.
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Cast out.
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And that's what we're talking about.
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Now we're getting into the fifth step.
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And the fifth step is okay, one thing I look at about with the fifth step is first of all, I'm looking at the okay, and I don't really even I'll tell people in meeting right now, I don't really trust any of us now.
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They the big book doesn't really ask you to trust anybody.
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It says, trust God, clean house, help others.
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And I love the story that the girl shared not long ago.
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It's a friend of ours, and she talked about sharing something in uh in confidence when she did her fifth step in the prison when she was in prison, and they girl shared it with everybody in the dorm.
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And and she was she was kind of uh ridiculed for it, and she was like kind of outcast and everything, and got and and of course she was doing it with the right intent, though.
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So God took that and turned it into maybe everybody didn't need to know that.
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It was for her to get over herself and get over the world of thought.
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So here we are trying to uncover this stuff.
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It says you're sick as your secrets, and and really, there's another one with the fifth step.
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If you don't take a fifth, you'll probably drink a fifth.
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It's something that has to be done.
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And the reason why I'm doing it, why am I doing it?
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Because I'm trying to get a relationship with God.
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And why am I doing it also?
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Because I'm being told by God if these are the directions, I asked to be turned my will and my life over the care of God, right?
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Now, what what does that entail?
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That means do a four step.
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That means God's saying, you, it's not good enough that I just share this amongst me and God.
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It's I share this a scripture, share your sins amongst one another.
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Now, I don't even know if God's gonna take that and help somebody else with that.
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I have no idea what that means.
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I'm just following directions to have, and it it's weird in the big book, in the fifth step, it talks about if you're a Catholic, go to the it says like go to the proper authorities.
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So this is a lot about a confession.
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I'm not so sure for me personally, and I know this is gonna be probably controversial, but a lot of people, I'm not so sure, and it hasn't been the case for me, that your feedback is so important in this or what you know or patterns.
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I think the biggest part of it is that I'm following directions, that I'm sincere, that I'm thorough, and that when I go and take to when I hear myself, you ever have a great idea?
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Sounds wonderful, right?
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Until you talk about it, right?
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Until you get it out.
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It's like, and so and some of the worst thing, oh, I'm so bad, and then you share that out, and maybe you're not so bad after all.
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So the problem with the alcoholic centers in their mind, and it's the magnificent, magnifying mind that we have.
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So that's why it's important.
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This is part of the ego deflation and depth.
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Getting this stuff out.
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It's not so much what you learn at alcoholic stuff or and 12-step, it's what you unlearn.
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It's what getting rid of uh these all the stuff that's in your head.
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So uh the fifth step, also when we get into the okay, so here you are, you're you're asking God to to come into your life.
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You you're you're basically taking the stuff that is objectionable.
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I like to say too, you're separating yourself from the true self to the ego self.
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You're kind of splitting, what does it say in the book?
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It says something about also it says about living the dual life because the principle behind it is integrity.
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Yeah.
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So how are we gonna Bog's very much an actor?
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There's a stage character, the one he presents to the world.
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Anything else on that?
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No.
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Well, that's what it says.
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Well, it's an oxymoron because it's like you can't act spiritual.
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So you see what I'm saying?
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So if you're gonna have spirituality, you're gonna have to stop, you're gonna have to drop the act.
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So the act and the actor can never be as strong as the authentic person.
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It's like almost like a tree.
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The tree that bends and can and go and be is much stronger than something that's rigid, stiff, fake, plasticky.
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So we're trying to get rid of that.
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We're trying to get to the real who you are, the real authenticity of what and be and have it integrated.
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And that's where a lot of people on a fist step, a number one thing, one of the big effects of a fist step are starting to get your head where your feet are.
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You know, usually you're all over the place, all disjointed and stuff, and then when you share all this stuff out, all of a sudden you kind of brought into the now.
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And that's what brings about this experience on page 75.
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So 72, it says it kind of opens up into the fist step and it talks about, and then it goes through basically who you know you want to be careful.
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You don't want to be flipping about, you want to share it with somebody, you want to have the best, you know, idea of who to share it with.
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But you know, most of the people that are coming in, they're not that well.
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I mean, who you might think to share.
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But the overall thing is that you're doing this because God wants you to, and God will make a bad thing and turn it into a good thing.
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Just like my alcoholism.
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My alcoholism was the worst thing that ever happened, but turned into one of the best things that ever happened to me because it's been able, God's taken that and turned it into a good thing.
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So, what does it talk about when we pocket our pride?
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We pocket our pride and go to it, illuminate illuminating every twist of character, every dark cranny of the past.
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Once we've taken this step, withholding nothing, we are delighted.
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We can look the world in the eye, we can be alone at perfect peace and ease.
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Our fears fall from us, we begin to fear the nearness of our Creator.
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We may have had certain spiritual beliefs, but now we begin to have a spiritual experience.
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The feeling that the drink problem has disappeared will often come strongly.
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We feel we are on the broad highway, walking hand in hand with the spirit of the universe.
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That's great.
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All right, so there it is.
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Boom.
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You're connected to God.
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And we're talking fifth step here.
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We're not talking third step talked about the consciousness already.
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You know, fourth step, we were praying to God, kind of help me with this, help me with this work step.
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Or if you want to say the fourth step, you know, the the work steps are like the the even number steps, and the and the spiritual experience are all seeming to be one, come on with clarity, three, page 63, uh, page 75.
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That was that's the fifth step, a psychic change in seven, ninth step.
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They talk about, of course, all the things that happened in a ninth step.
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So it's really the odd steps are the are the result and uh of of this the prior steps.
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Every step brings you to the next step.
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But so here it is.
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You're asking, you're sincerely crying out to God.
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Not it's not like you had to wait very long.
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You notice that you notice it's not like a long period of time here.
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It's like third step, I made a decision, fourth step, I did some work, fifth step, God answers.
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God answers that quick.
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I mean, when it's sincerity, you know, when it's real, God reveals himself to you.
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And that is huge right there that you're gonna be uh in there'll be different experiences about that.
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You'll hear a lot of people say they felt the sense of belonging that they're in AA.
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That's a different experience than what we just read.
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Just so you know, that is a different path, that's a different experience.
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I don't care, you can be, oh, that's how it happened for me.
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I get it, but that's not that experience.
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That experience is that you feel the nearness to your creator.
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Now, when you go in, it's gonna go into the sixth step, and I'll jump ahead a little bit, but it says, we thank God from the bottom of our heart for knowing him better when they go back into a sixth step.
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Like that's on another page or so.
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But this is where you're forming and connecting with God, you know.
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Anything you got to say today?
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Well, well, the experience he who faces himself is freed from himself.
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You know, when Byron Katie said, What can anybody say about me that I haven't already seen or admitted about myself?
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You know, you're walking a free man after the fifth step.
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I remember pulling up to the gas station pumping gas, and I looked over, and the other guy was pumping gas.
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And I was just thinking, you know, I never felt like this before.
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And after doing the fifth step for the first time, it's like that's just some guy pumping gas, me.
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He doesn't have to know about the 21 Mental Institution unless I choose to tell him.
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But it was like the first time, it was just like monoimano.
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And really that feeling comes very strongly.
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It came for me in the hour that I spent alone with God after my four step.
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I I spent that hour with God, and I did thank him from the bottom of my heart.
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And there were things that I didn't want to tell my sponsor, but you know, I made, I feel like I made a uh a pact with God.
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I was gonna, you know, it's like up until this point, have I really given anything of myself in the steps?
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You know, I made a decision.
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I've turned my life over to God.
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I told you last week the third step, I felt like God was waiting with a wrecking ball.
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And as soon as I got on my knees and said, take it, he's like, There's nothing to work with.
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We're starting over.
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I did my four step, and I remember meeting my sponsor, and there were some things I didn't want to tell her about myself, you know, things about the kind of mother I was and how I felt about myself and my drinking.
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But this was between me and God, and I was a slave to what you thought of me.
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And you know, it's like you can't save your ass and your face at the same time, and I had to pick one.
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Exactly.
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You know, I had to get over that, I had to get over myself, and you are just another form of me.
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And I I didn't care what you thought, it mattered what God thought.
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Absolutely, absolutely.
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And you'll hear people double down.
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I heard it not too long ago, eighth and ninth step, and they're like, you can't do that without a spot.
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They make such an emphasis on the people part and the emphasis on the sponsor part.
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The most important part about this step is the God part.
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Just so you know, the most important part of the whole thing is the God part.
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It is every single time it's about the God part, it's about your commitment, your sincerity, and the God part.
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And what it's what is the ultimate objective of all this, right?
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Is just what you shared, right?
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Is is to get over the world of self, the world of ego, the world built in thought.
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We're trying to move from the thought world into the spiritual world.
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So that is a big part of the setup on the fifth step that you know, you're getting over what other people's reactions of it are, what they think about it, what they think about you.
00:15:21.919 --> 00:15:24.159
So that's where we're really trying to go with this.
00:15:24.960 --> 00:15:28.960
Getting over me, getting over self, you know, getting over self.
00:15:29.039 --> 00:15:29.759
How are we gonna get over?
00:15:30.080 --> 00:15:32.960
I always say alcoholic synonymous is a great place to get over yourself.
00:15:33.120 --> 00:15:41.519
And you're always gonna find that you're the one, and the responsibility that for is like, I'm the one in this fista, I'm the one that did all this stuff to me.
00:15:41.600 --> 00:15:43.039
I nobody really did anything to me.
00:15:43.120 --> 00:15:51.759
You know, even the things that have happened to me that maybe when I was young or whatever, the idea that I carried them for all this time, the idea that, you know, my pride carried that.
00:15:51.919 --> 00:15:54.240
That thing happened one instant in my life.
00:15:54.320 --> 00:16:04.720
So so if we're gonna break life down to moments instead of living in the past and living dragged out over all this time, you're gonna have to get this stuff out of you and realize that I'm the problem in this.
00:16:04.799 --> 00:16:09.440
And a lot of the fifth step for me was my pride, my gluttony, my greed.
00:16:09.600 --> 00:16:12.480
Who was the responsible factor in this thing was me.
00:16:12.559 --> 00:16:16.000
And uh, so if it's me, thank God it's me, because now I'm not a victim anymore.
00:16:16.080 --> 00:16:24.080
I, you know, I it it is a big part of that uh that that there's something I can do about it uh and and in sharing this out.
00:16:24.559 --> 00:16:25.679
Yeah, I agree.
00:16:25.919 --> 00:16:26.879
You agree?
00:16:27.120 --> 00:16:31.840
Oh, I mean, I was spoken fluent victimese before I didn't force up.
00:16:32.159 --> 00:16:35.840
I mean, you know, I'd never looked at where was I selfish dishonest.
00:16:36.480 --> 00:16:44.559
A lot of my um dishonesty was uh, you know, I wanted uh grapefruit tree to give me oranges, and a grapefruit tree only gives you grapefruits, folks.
00:16:44.639 --> 00:16:51.279
You know, hate to tell you, but a lot of that, you know, I want I was angry at my dad for well, he was a 17-year-old heroin addict, you know.
00:16:51.519 --> 00:16:54.720
He I was trying to get something out of him that he didn't have to give.
00:16:54.879 --> 00:16:58.000
And so when I got honest about whom I fought, it wasn't personal.
00:16:58.159 --> 00:17:07.920
So a lot of um a lot of the four step helped me come on the other side of even the things that I was truly, I guess, a victim.
00:17:08.000 --> 00:17:19.759
I mean, I was a child, you know, but um, you know, it it just helped me get a different perspective, even about my mom dying when I realized, you know, it's probably the most merciful thing that God did was take my mother.
00:17:19.920 --> 00:17:21.920
She was a 17-year-old heroin addict.
00:17:22.079 --> 00:17:31.680
And so it the four step it gives you that what you talked about with Chuck C when he said, you know, I'm in the same chair, same house with the same wife and the same job.
00:17:31.839 --> 00:17:34.079
And before I took the steps, I was in hell.
00:17:34.319 --> 00:17:36.079
After I take the steps, I'm in heaven.
00:17:36.240 --> 00:17:37.839
Nothing changed externally.
00:17:37.920 --> 00:17:38.720
What changed?
00:17:38.880 --> 00:17:46.000
I got a new pair of glasses, and the four step and the fifth step gave me a whole new perspective on myself and my life.
00:17:46.079 --> 00:17:48.160
And and I was so grateful to God.
00:17:48.240 --> 00:17:50.720
It was a a gift to see all of that different.
00:17:50.799 --> 00:17:53.200
You know, it's like that Jennifer will always drink again.
00:17:53.359 --> 00:17:58.160
That victim, angry, self-pity, you know, little orphan annie.
00:17:58.319 --> 00:18:01.519
We always joke about, you know, that girl will always drink again.
00:18:01.680 --> 00:18:04.799
So here's where that transformation starts happening.
00:18:05.119 --> 00:18:05.599
Exactly.
00:18:05.759 --> 00:18:07.599
And that experience that you talked about.
00:18:07.759 --> 00:18:12.079
That you that that it's almost, and it's funny, it says our fears fall from us.
00:18:12.319 --> 00:18:14.079
They do, but they're not gone.
00:18:14.240 --> 00:18:15.519
It's like, it's like a bump.
00:18:15.680 --> 00:18:21.440
I the spiritual experiences are like, just like it said in the third step, we lose fear today, tomorrow, and the hereafter.
00:18:21.839 --> 00:18:27.599
It gave me that, it gives me that boost so I can go into the next step, so I can move forward.
00:18:27.680 --> 00:18:32.799
It's like a, it's like, it's almost like you're drowning, and it's like, oh, but you come up and you got a little piece of air.
00:18:33.039 --> 00:18:34.559
You see, oh, there's the light.
00:18:34.720 --> 00:18:35.839
The lighthouse is there.
00:18:36.000 --> 00:18:40.319
And then you kind of go back down into it, and then you come back up and you see the light again.
00:18:40.400 --> 00:18:43.920
It's like, oh, there's something, okay, it I I am moving in the right direction.
00:18:44.079 --> 00:18:47.839
Oh, God is showing me, God is revealing himself to me, so I'm moving in the right direction.
00:18:48.000 --> 00:18:52.000
I did what, okay, I did that because of certain reasons that God was telling me.
00:18:52.240 --> 00:18:59.920
And it's funny because it says to sit for an hour after, and I remember typical Jennifer at you know, minute 57.
00:19:01.119 --> 00:19:04.640
And I said, you know, just follow directions for once in your life.
00:19:04.799 --> 00:19:17.440
Sit down for the full sixty, and it seems silly, but in that three minutes, God, I had a revelation, and I just busted out crying, and and and I had a moment with God, and it was like an instant reward for my obedience.
00:19:17.759 --> 00:19:18.000
Exactly.
00:19:18.079 --> 00:19:22.799
And that's in the sixth step, which says we go carefully over the last five proposals.
00:19:22.960 --> 00:19:25.039
We go, have we skipped on anything?
00:19:25.359 --> 00:19:26.240
Have we been thorough?
00:19:26.400 --> 00:19:28.960
Have we done, have we followed directions?
00:19:29.200 --> 00:19:31.680
I mean, that's like the most impossible thing for an alcoholic.
00:19:31.759 --> 00:19:33.440
It's always like we've got to put our twist on it.
00:19:33.599 --> 00:19:42.000
That's why a lot of people are winding up when I go and say, spirituality of the fourth dimension is in Indiana and you're going to California, because you're putting your own twist on it.
00:19:42.160 --> 00:19:47.680
You know, it's okay if you want to put on another twist on it, but don't expect the result of what we just read there.
00:19:47.839 --> 00:19:54.079
Don't expect that you're gonna feel the nearness of your creator than walking hand in hand on the broad highway with the creator of the universe.
00:19:54.240 --> 00:19:57.759
You if that experience is gonna happen for you, you might get some kind of experience.
00:19:57.920 --> 00:20:00.319
You might get some like they say about baking a cake.
00:20:00.400 --> 00:20:07.519
If you eat this cake and you love this cake and you want this cake, you have to follow the directions specifically to get this cake.
00:20:07.680 --> 00:20:12.559
You start changing it, and which typical alcoholics they want to change it, improve it.
00:20:12.720 --> 00:20:15.039
They've got a whole new way of doing the steps.
00:20:15.119 --> 00:20:17.680
What's wrong with the steps right out of the big book?
00:20:17.839 --> 00:20:21.200
It worked for, you know, they want they want to it it's just funny.
00:20:22.559 --> 00:20:23.279
It's the ego.
00:20:23.599 --> 00:20:27.119
What you said, we're gonna improve the perfection that God gave us.
00:20:27.200 --> 00:20:27.920
I feel like, you know.
00:20:28.400 --> 00:20:28.960
Progressives.
00:20:29.359 --> 00:20:29.839
Progressive.
00:20:30.079 --> 00:20:31.039
It's always the progressive.
00:20:31.359 --> 00:20:37.039
That our big thing is the so-so progressive is regressive, because the way it was originally intended was always the best way.
00:20:37.279 --> 00:20:44.160
Anytime they start into it or and it's funny, like like I said, about the pro the uh, you know, the it can be different.
00:20:44.240 --> 00:20:52.319
Listen, the word it says the words can be optional, whatever, but there's certain basic tenements or ever whatever you want to say that are a certain thing.
00:20:52.400 --> 00:20:55.279
And yes, absolutely for the first time, I'm following directions.
00:20:55.440 --> 00:20:59.359
God's saying go tell somebody else this stuff and be like, uh, but God's telling me.
00:20:59.440 --> 00:21:01.839
It's like when people talk about eight and nine and stuff like that.
00:21:02.000 --> 00:21:04.480
I'm like, listen, by now your spirits come alive.
00:21:04.720 --> 00:21:06.240
God's telling you to go do this.
00:21:06.319 --> 00:21:10.079
And I you spot the you know, outside people are telling you to do stuff.
00:21:10.319 --> 00:21:11.359
You ain't there.
00:21:11.519 --> 00:21:12.799
This hasn't happened for you.
00:21:12.960 --> 00:21:13.839
This is not happening.
00:21:13.920 --> 00:21:16.880
That you've not had a spiritual awakening, you're not connected to God.
00:21:17.039 --> 00:21:25.440
I just, it amazes me because that spiritual experience that they're talking about, five, think about where you, and it is jumping ahead a little bit when you get into 10-11.
00:21:25.519 --> 00:21:30.880
They're talking about entering into the world of spirit and and communicating with God and all the stuff's going on.
00:21:31.279 --> 00:21:34.480
What when look, it started happening way back here.
00:21:34.640 --> 00:21:37.440
Do you understand the spiritual experience, the connection?
00:21:37.599 --> 00:21:39.119
How are people doing eight and nine?
00:21:39.200 --> 00:21:43.279
Oh, sorry, eight and nine when they when they haven't been changed.
00:21:43.519 --> 00:21:44.880
So, where did that change happen?
00:21:44.960 --> 00:21:45.839
Well, here it starts.
00:21:46.000 --> 00:21:49.119
Here it is, here is evidence right here that you're walking hand in hand.
00:21:49.279 --> 00:21:51.119
Not I'm a member of AA, man.
00:21:51.200 --> 00:21:54.480
I felt like I was I thought I was an alien before this happened.
00:21:54.559 --> 00:21:56.960
And I did it with the guy, my my fist step.
00:21:57.200 --> 00:21:59.519
It wasn't my sponsor, it just started coming out.
00:22:00.319 --> 00:22:05.279
And I walked away from that situation with that, with that, it was almost like that blockage.
00:22:05.359 --> 00:22:09.839
I felt all that stuff off me, and I could, I could see that I could just feel God's presence.
00:22:09.920 --> 00:22:12.480
I knew I was like, oh my, I knew I did the right thing.
00:22:12.640 --> 00:22:14.319
I knew I did what God wanted me to do.
00:22:14.400 --> 00:22:17.279
And it talks about looking at the world, you know, eye to eye.
00:22:17.359 --> 00:22:20.960
You're able, your head kind of comes up, you're like, I know I'm trying to do the right thing.
00:22:21.039 --> 00:22:25.039
I know maybe it wasn't perfect, maybe it wasn't, but it was sincere and it was thorough.
00:22:25.359 --> 00:22:26.799
And God made it good, you know.
00:22:26.880 --> 00:22:31.279
So I know that was my spirit, my and that spiritual experience brings you into that sixth step.
00:22:31.359 --> 00:22:37.519
How are you gonna really, you know, look at the last five proposals as it talks about in the sixth step, right?
00:22:37.680 --> 00:22:39.359
Sit home quietly for an hour.
00:22:39.839 --> 00:22:44.000
And usually, you know, you probably I always get a phone call during that hour.
00:22:44.240 --> 00:22:46.319
Oh, the sponsee always calls.
00:22:46.480 --> 00:22:56.160
There's the one thing I didn't want to tell you, I want to tell you before, you know, before I get up from this hour, and you know, so but it is because it it's an act of your own will, too.
00:22:56.240 --> 00:22:57.519
There's nobody sitting there looking.
00:22:57.680 --> 00:22:58.720
Did I sit for an hour?
00:22:58.880 --> 00:23:01.200
Am I looking at my this is between me and God?
00:23:01.279 --> 00:23:06.720
And a lot of what happens is what you talked about, going from predatorial to to altruistic.
00:23:06.880 --> 00:23:20.960
For me, I remember having that feeling I was going to visit my grandparents, and it was the first time, every time I went home to my grandparents, I always, even though I was an adult with children, I always saw them as when I go, they take me out to dinner, they do stuff for me.
00:23:21.119 --> 00:23:24.400
And it was like I went home and it's like, what can I do for them?
00:23:24.559 --> 00:23:25.599
My grandmother's older.
00:23:25.759 --> 00:23:27.599
Let me do the dishes, let me take care of her.
00:23:27.759 --> 00:23:28.880
What can I do for them?
00:23:29.119 --> 00:23:30.880
That change and started happening.
00:23:31.200 --> 00:23:31.440
Exactly.
00:23:31.759 --> 00:23:39.440
Went from a child, you know, it's like when you you, you know, the six and seven talks about that going from a child, you know.
00:23:39.839 --> 00:23:44.640
Well, they all they talk about humility being the underlying principle of all 12 steps.
00:23:44.720 --> 00:23:46.880
Each one of them, ego, deflation, and depth.
00:23:46.960 --> 00:23:54.480
Every time you admit, every time you make that decision, every time you turn, every time you do the work, every time you you're submitting yourself to that God.
00:23:54.640 --> 00:23:58.480
And every time you do that, God gets bigger, you get smaller through that process.
00:23:58.559 --> 00:23:59.839
And uh it's a lot about faith.
00:23:59.920 --> 00:24:01.119
People talk about the 11th step.
00:24:01.279 --> 00:24:02.960
Listen, what is the 11th step a lot about?
00:24:03.039 --> 00:24:04.240
It's a lot about faith.
00:24:04.400 --> 00:24:09.680
It's a lot about walking in this, bringing it, like you're saying, bringing it and letting God fill you back up.
00:24:09.839 --> 00:24:15.119
Not you wondering that that let me get no, you're starting to live a life that's starting to turn.
00:24:15.440 --> 00:24:22.079
And it's funny because you hear in the program a lot, you know, third step, oh, I give it, I take it back, I give it, I take it back.
00:24:22.319 --> 00:24:26.640
And and so a lot of the giving it is that getting getting flipped.
00:24:26.720 --> 00:24:29.119
It's not that I'm taking, I'm starting to bring it.
00:24:29.279 --> 00:24:31.759
I'm I'm like you said when we got in a relationship.
00:24:31.839 --> 00:24:34.319
It's like, well, if you want something in the relationship, bring it.
00:24:34.400 --> 00:24:35.920
And then it's guaranteed to be there.
00:24:36.000 --> 00:24:38.079
And that's how it should be in every area of my life.
00:24:38.240 --> 00:24:38.880
I bring it.
00:24:39.039 --> 00:24:43.519
It's not this insecure looking to get something from what does it say in six and seven?
00:24:43.599 --> 00:24:47.279
I'm trying to suck more out of life than is possible or do me.
00:24:47.440 --> 00:24:52.480
Now I'm not looking for what I can get, but what I can bring, and that's the and in the in the giving I am receiving.
00:24:53.119 --> 00:24:53.440
Absolutely.
00:24:53.519 --> 00:24:53.680
Yeah.
00:24:53.839 --> 00:24:54.079
Absolutely.
00:24:54.400 --> 00:24:55.119
That's where all this starts.
00:24:55.599 --> 00:25:06.960
And when you get off track, uh when I get off track, and I've had to get back on it, it's like what you know, just through a quick run-through, it's like third step, I'm off ground, making a decision to turn my will my life.
00:25:07.119 --> 00:25:10.960
It's not just this little decision you're making, there is a movement towards that.
00:25:11.039 --> 00:25:16.000
It's the decision, it's the inventory, it's seeing it, it's going, sharing it out.
00:25:16.160 --> 00:25:22.400
It's there's a process of like unclutter, you know what I mean, and recognizing what it is that got me there.
00:25:22.559 --> 00:25:34.079
My pride, my gluttony, my greed, you know, in these situations that I get myself in, these character defects, and that's my mostly my fifth step now days, is truly a pride, gluttony, the seven deadlies.
00:25:34.240 --> 00:25:39.039
Yeah, like Sandy Beach said, if you're not being run by God, you're bringing being run by your seven deadlies.
00:25:39.119 --> 00:25:41.279
You're even being run by flesh or spirit.
00:25:41.519 --> 00:25:41.920
Yep.
00:25:42.079 --> 00:25:43.200
And and that's what happens.
00:25:43.279 --> 00:25:45.119
And that's why I say you get sick of yourself.
00:25:45.279 --> 00:25:50.480
Because every time you do the inventory and come back to it and have to share it out, you it's it's like, oh, there I am again.
00:25:50.640 --> 00:25:52.079
It's like, oh, it's me again.
00:25:52.799 --> 00:25:53.599
It's like the culprit.
00:25:53.680 --> 00:25:54.640
It's always me.
00:25:54.799 --> 00:25:56.160
It's always back to self.
00:25:56.240 --> 00:25:58.880
It's always it's always me acting out on my pride, my gluttony.
00:25:59.200 --> 00:26:00.400
How did I set the ball rolling?
00:26:00.559 --> 00:26:01.359
What was my mistake?
00:26:01.519 --> 00:26:04.160
Where am I self as dishonest, self-seeking, and afraid?
00:26:04.400 --> 00:26:04.559
Right.
00:26:04.640 --> 00:26:06.559
It says we're chronic malcontents.
00:26:06.880 --> 00:26:07.920
I shared that last week, right?
00:26:08.000 --> 00:26:11.759
So if I'm a gluttonous, right, gluttony is being more.
00:26:11.920 --> 00:26:12.960
I can't be satisfied.
00:26:13.039 --> 00:26:17.599
So if I'm walking around sober and can't be satisfied, well, I'm not gonna probably stay sober.
00:26:17.759 --> 00:26:19.200
It's not gonna, it's gonna be untenable.
00:26:19.519 --> 00:26:20.240
It's not gonna be enough.
00:26:20.559 --> 00:26:21.519
So it's not gonna be enough.
00:26:21.680 --> 00:26:24.960
And then, you know, my pride, my pride says, you know, it doesn't really apply to me.
00:26:25.119 --> 00:26:45.200
You know, it's like the fist up, you know, it is a chip at my pride when I even say, okay, God's telling me in the fist up, it's saying to to turn to admit we admitted to God to ourselves and another human being, the exact nature of our wrongs, and I'll get into exact in a minute, but but it's so I so part of me saying, yes, it applies to even Joel.
00:26:45.279 --> 00:26:46.480
And I had a bright light experience.
00:26:46.640 --> 00:26:49.680
Like, you know, after that I fell off and then I formally went through the steps.
00:26:49.839 --> 00:26:59.839
So it was like, yeah, I think the the says the ego, uh, the uh ego on rampage balks at investigation and it gives the box.
00:26:59.920 --> 00:27:04.799
You know, one is I wouldn't I would have never done that if he didn't do this, you know.
00:27:04.880 --> 00:27:12.400
They they is it it's got the box in there, the the you know, uh excuses for why I acted badly.
00:27:12.720 --> 00:27:13.839
Well that's why pride's on the top.
00:27:13.920 --> 00:27:22.319
They usually when they re when they I explained this to somebody, I said, listen, when they lift list your seven deadlies, pride's on the top, yeah, grath is on the bottom.
00:27:22.480 --> 00:27:25.839
So usually what happens is pride says, Listen, I don't have to look at the rest of them.
00:27:26.079 --> 00:27:28.720
So then once you get through the pride a little bit, then you see you've got to be.
00:27:28.880 --> 00:27:30.720
Other than drinking, I'm a really nice guy.
00:27:30.960 --> 00:27:32.000
That's one in the box.
00:27:33.279 --> 00:27:34.480
You're so amazing, right?
00:27:34.799 --> 00:27:36.720
Except for being a drunk and a crackhead.
00:27:37.279 --> 00:27:38.319
That's what I used to think.
00:27:38.480 --> 00:27:42.400
Other than alcohol and other than being a crackhead, I'm a well-adjusted adult.
00:27:42.799 --> 00:27:43.359
I I don't know.
00:27:43.680 --> 00:27:44.000
Exactly.
00:27:44.079 --> 00:27:45.119
Yeah, how's that fit?
00:27:45.279 --> 00:27:49.119
So you go through the pride, once you get past the pride, then I guess your gluttony, greed.
00:27:49.599 --> 00:27:55.759
Now, usually how character defects work, I work my so I use my pride, my gluttony, my greed because I'm lacking faith, right?
00:27:55.839 --> 00:27:56.880
I'm not going to God.
00:27:56.960 --> 00:27:58.160
Um I'm I'm lacking faith.
00:27:58.240 --> 00:28:03.519
So my character defects, I'm acting in this person that we're talking about in the fifth step, the other guy.
00:28:03.680 --> 00:28:08.400
And the other guy, when when all my character defects don't work, then I'm I'm mad.
00:28:08.880 --> 00:28:09.519
Then I'm angry.
00:28:09.599 --> 00:28:10.559
So then I want to get you.
00:28:10.640 --> 00:28:11.759
And usually I'm gonna blame you.
00:28:11.839 --> 00:28:16.240
I'm gonna say, oh, see, you did this because I would have done this, so I did all this stuff.
00:28:16.319 --> 00:28:17.519
So it's like this whole big loop.
00:28:17.680 --> 00:28:17.759
Yeah.
00:28:18.160 --> 00:28:19.200
But we're trying to get out of the loop.
00:28:19.599 --> 00:28:20.480
I just remembered that too.
00:28:20.559 --> 00:28:23.680
It's victim, it's oh, I'm so messed up, I'm screwed up.
00:28:23.759 --> 00:28:24.799
This isn't gonna work for me.
00:28:24.960 --> 00:28:30.640
Then the pride, well, I'm a good person, other than the the you're right, it's like that cycle.
00:28:30.960 --> 00:28:33.200
It's a loop, it's a loop, and we're trying to break out of the loop.
00:28:33.279 --> 00:28:34.160
Yeah, that's a big part of this.
00:28:35.519 --> 00:28:35.680
Absolutely.
00:28:36.880 --> 00:28:39.920
It's a rational lie, but the only one that believes it is me.
00:28:40.079 --> 00:28:41.279
Yeah, a rational lie.
00:28:41.599 --> 00:28:43.440
It's rational, rationalized, yeah.
00:28:43.519 --> 00:28:53.440
It's rationalized for me, and then it gives you an excuse to do certain things, you know, and I will get to certain people that do it, but I've seen people in my, you know, it's like my own eyes.
00:28:53.599 --> 00:28:58.000
Yeah, they make up a story, and I know once that story starts, I'm like, oh, this guy's gonna get it.
00:28:58.160 --> 00:29:09.839
Because they're they're they're absolving themselves through the story, but they're saying the story, so now it gives them the ability or the the the it relieves them, it relieves them of the responsibility of doing whatever you're doing.
00:29:10.000 --> 00:29:11.119
Well, that's not integrity.
00:29:11.200 --> 00:29:13.200
Okay, so integrity is none of that.
00:29:13.359 --> 00:29:17.359
Integrity is doing the right thing for the right reason, for for because no matter what.
00:29:17.599 --> 00:29:21.599
For no for to not get anything or because it's the way it should be.
00:29:21.680 --> 00:29:23.759
Yeah, and then God takes care of everything else.
00:29:23.839 --> 00:29:30.240
So integrity, fifth step is huge, integrity, it's a big part of your spiritual experience, and without it, you're not gonna be able to do the same thing.
00:29:30.400 --> 00:29:32.640
Yeah, integrity the inside and the outside match.
00:29:32.880 --> 00:29:36.240
Everything matches, integrates a I am who I am everywhere.
00:29:36.720 --> 00:29:37.680
Um what was it?
00:29:37.920 --> 00:29:39.920
Uh it was uh Gandhi.
00:29:40.000 --> 00:29:41.599
Gandhi said the natural man.
00:29:41.839 --> 00:29:45.359
He says he thinks one thing, he says another, and he does another thing.
00:29:45.440 --> 00:29:51.279
He's talking about the dual selves that and and how people are they say one thing, think another, and they're doing something else.
00:29:51.440 --> 00:29:57.519
He says the spiritual man says, does, and thinks all in the same thing, they're kind of integrated, which is integrity.
00:29:57.599 --> 00:29:59.440
It's all integrated in the same moment.
00:29:59.519 --> 00:30:02.640
And when I was talking about the exact nature, I want to say something about that.
00:30:02.799 --> 00:30:09.279
The exact nature sometimes, too, for some people, and I've I remember people bring this to me, uh, is something that they might have done.
00:30:09.680 --> 00:30:12.160
See, the exact nature of it is also how you felt about it.
00:30:12.240 --> 00:30:21.039
It's almost like, you know, and and this could be something that maybe they beat somebody or hurt somebody, and they're like, not only did they hurt them, they were they felt good about hurting them.
00:30:21.200 --> 00:30:24.960
So there was a feeling behind it that that that really made them feel bad.
00:30:25.039 --> 00:30:26.799
And and what was the exact nature of it?
00:30:26.960 --> 00:30:32.480
Like, did I steal from my brother or to or do something to make him well, was it just the stealing?
00:30:32.640 --> 00:30:33.680
Was it just the theft?
00:30:33.839 --> 00:30:45.039
Or was it the theft to to wreck his reputation, to get back at his why I'm just making up stories, but I'm just saying, what what was the exact what was the what was the crime exactly?
00:30:45.200 --> 00:30:47.599
You know, what was the exact the nature of it?
00:30:47.680 --> 00:30:52.240
Because the nature sometimes brings out is a little bit deeper than just, you know, I stole something.
00:30:52.640 --> 00:30:54.720
I stole something, you know, I stole something.
00:30:54.799 --> 00:30:55.680
And why did I steal?
00:30:55.759 --> 00:31:04.880
And why was I or the big one is like this is uh what I used to go to Walmart and I'm like, they got some nerve charging this much for an eyeliner.
00:31:05.279 --> 00:31:06.480
I throw it in my bat.
00:31:06.559 --> 00:31:12.240
Now I'm because the the man is charging more than they and I justify stealing.
00:31:13.039 --> 00:31:15.680
Justifying rationalization, justifying rationalization.
00:31:15.920 --> 00:31:20.319
So I remember a guy saying this and he talked about it was like they owed me something, you know.
00:31:20.400 --> 00:31:36.720
They well, and it was something that somebody shared with me, actually, saying a guy, I guess he had a guy that to had a sex act, and he said, you know, for money, and he was smoking crack, and he he says, and the thing is that I felt I the way I felt about it, that's what disturbed him the most, that he felt a certain way.
00:31:36.799 --> 00:31:41.599
He goes, you know, but if I rubbed it rubbed my penis on a bumper, so it probably felt good.
00:31:41.759 --> 00:31:42.480
You know what I'm saying?
00:31:42.559 --> 00:31:49.039
So he that's where that was the exact nature of not only what happened that this happened, but that he felt a certain way about it.
00:31:49.119 --> 00:31:55.359
So it was it was that's where he felt his guilt, that's where he felt his shame to tell somebody else and to say something to somebody else like that.
00:31:55.440 --> 00:32:02.480
It's like, uh, that you know, well, you don't want to meet, you know, and then to walk away from that and know, listen, it doesn't really matter with that kind of thing.
00:32:02.559 --> 00:32:08.079
So it's almost like the ninth step, too, when you're doing the ninth step, you're not doing the ninth step for forgiveness from them.
00:32:08.160 --> 00:32:10.160
I heard people say, you know, I'm getting forgiven.
00:32:10.319 --> 00:32:12.400
No, you're doing this because God's telling you to do this.
00:32:12.480 --> 00:32:13.759
This is what God's telling you to do.
00:32:13.839 --> 00:32:21.680
It's not so much worrisome about what happens, how it happens, what they say about it, you know, like there's they're gonna be some great answer.
00:32:21.839 --> 00:32:23.680
And it might, they might give you something great.
00:32:23.839 --> 00:32:27.920
You might share out your fifth step, and a guy says, hey, that sounds like and they point out something.
00:32:28.160 --> 00:32:31.759
But overall, always remember that when the student's ready, the teacher will appear.
00:32:31.920 --> 00:32:33.359
That God's sending these people.
00:32:33.519 --> 00:32:34.799
God's sending you somebody.
00:32:34.880 --> 00:32:40.079
If you're doing this properly, you know, if you're really sincere and God's sending these people in your life, God gets all the glory.
00:32:40.240 --> 00:32:45.519
When we get into the 10th step, it says there's already been a lot said about the one who has all knowledge and all power.
00:32:45.680 --> 00:32:47.359
So God should get all the glory, man.
00:32:47.440 --> 00:32:48.480
Not any of this other stuff.
00:32:48.559 --> 00:32:58.799
Because every time you start giving it to your sponsor, the person that was sent or anything like that, you're diminishing the process of the 12 steps, you're diminishing your spiritual experience.
00:32:58.880 --> 00:33:05.519
You're not getting over the world of thought and people, and you're hanging on, you're locking back into the very thing we're trying to unlock.
00:33:05.599 --> 00:33:07.200
We're trying to get away from that stuff.
00:33:07.359 --> 00:33:08.720
So uh it is huge.
00:33:08.960 --> 00:33:09.759
Fifth step is huge.
00:33:09.920 --> 00:33:10.480
Sixth step.
00:33:10.559 --> 00:33:12.640
Obviously, we'll talk more about the sixth step next week.
00:33:12.720 --> 00:33:15.279
And sixth step is elongated in the step book.
00:33:15.359 --> 00:33:19.920
Everybody's always upset about the big book, about the fifth and sixth step.
00:33:20.079 --> 00:33:31.279
And really, if you're on a roll like what's happening here, when she read that fifth step and you have that spiritual experience and you get that bump, you run right into the sixth step and you want to do this, you know.
00:33:31.440 --> 00:33:37.920
The elongated version that they talk about in the step book is when you've been sober a while and you're like picking and choosing.
00:33:38.000 --> 00:33:39.519
I mean, and that's been my experience.
00:33:39.680 --> 00:33:44.319
That once I was sober a little while, it was like I wasn't, I didn't have as much of a role going on.
00:33:44.400 --> 00:33:56.400
I had more of a more of a trudge uh than I did that that initial when I went through four, when I had the spiritual experience of three, four, and I had a spiritual in five, and I felt that nearness to my creator, I game home.
00:33:56.480 --> 00:33:59.839
I I thank God from the bottom of my heart, and I really recognized what it was.
00:33:59.920 --> 00:34:06.400
I'm like, okay, God, I want to do, I want these things taken out root and branch and go into the seventh step.
00:34:06.640 --> 00:34:25.519
When I got sober for longer period of times, uh, what would happen in the elongated version of that is sometimes you feel like, you know, maybe I can fix this a little bit, you know, once you function in a little bit, once you get a little sober and you got things, you kind of feel like, well, and that's what happens to the people that are higher bomb drunks, I think.
00:34:25.679 --> 00:34:30.639
I think if they really don't get to that place of true surrender, a lot of sincerity.
00:34:30.719 --> 00:34:37.280
And I think my sincerity, and I'll admit this, it's been harder in long-gated times than it was in that original.
00:34:37.440 --> 00:34:42.960
That original time going through, there was all like, oh man, please, you know, maybe unbearable pain.
00:34:43.280 --> 00:34:43.840
Unbearable.
00:34:44.400 --> 00:34:45.599
I just got delivered from hell.
00:34:45.679 --> 00:34:46.239
Thank you, God.
00:34:46.320 --> 00:34:47.280
He let me out of gate for that.
00:34:48.000 --> 00:34:58.320
You're uh angry enough to murder, you're lustful enough to ra when you're suffering with character defects at that level, but after you've been sober for a while, maybe you're not stealing from Walmart.
00:34:58.400 --> 00:34:59.599
Maybe you're not so angry.
00:34:59.679 --> 00:35:06.559
You'll and so it's almost like uh um uh it's just not they're seemingly more manageable.
00:35:06.719 --> 00:35:06.960
Yeah.
00:35:08.000 --> 00:35:09.119
The delusion, the delusion.
00:35:09.199 --> 00:35:13.119
I'm back in the delusion of thinking, well, you know, I can manage a little bit.
00:35:13.280 --> 00:35:14.719
I can't manage shit.
00:35:15.039 --> 00:35:16.239
I can't manage anything.
00:35:16.400 --> 00:35:20.320
God has to manage my life, God has to run my life, and I have to be obedient to God.
00:35:20.400 --> 00:35:24.880
So obedience uh shows care, obedience is rewarded.
00:35:25.039 --> 00:35:32.079
God always listen, if you go even the Bible, you listen, God always, always rewarded obedience.
00:35:32.400 --> 00:35:37.679
And God, not people, not the meeting, not the group, not anybody else, God Himself.
00:35:37.840 --> 00:35:45.360
When you know you're a loving son of God or a loving daughter of God, the creator, the created the universe, that solves a lot of problems.
00:35:45.599 --> 00:35:45.920
It does.
00:35:46.079 --> 00:35:51.280
And then you're not subjected to a lot of this stuff in the program because the people will never be satisfied.
00:35:51.360 --> 00:36:06.559
You'll have to keep giving and doing, and you know, and when you have a God in your life, you you don't have to subject yourself to a lot of the stuff that, you know, I don't know, I twist myself into a pretzel doing stuff for you know, it it is different.
00:36:06.639 --> 00:36:10.239
It's um I do what I do because God wants me to do, I do it joyfully.
00:36:10.400 --> 00:36:11.440
I love doing it.
00:36:11.519 --> 00:36:13.119
It's just a different experience.
00:36:13.360 --> 00:36:14.800
I'm not trying to get anything.
00:36:15.119 --> 00:36:20.079
Well, how are you gonna ever be a fresh per how are you ever gonna be autonomous in alcohol?
00:36:20.320 --> 00:36:26.079
How are you gonna be in a group of people and stand up and be stand up and be accounted for if you're sucked into the group of sheep?
00:36:26.320 --> 00:36:27.599
So you're a sheep with all them.
00:36:27.679 --> 00:36:30.159
How are you ever gonna be stand there with God?
00:36:30.320 --> 00:36:33.440
Because believe me, you're gonna have to stand with God many and many a time.
00:36:33.599 --> 00:36:39.519
You know, it talks about even about your sobriety, and it said it in there that the that the drink problem has been solved.
00:36:39.760 --> 00:36:41.119
It comes strongly, right?
00:36:41.280 --> 00:36:43.519
And a tenth step even gets into more of it.
00:36:43.599 --> 00:36:50.159
But this is when, you know, it says there'll come a time that it the only thing that's gonna stand between you and a drink is your relationship with God.
00:36:50.480 --> 00:36:51.360
God, that's it.
00:36:51.440 --> 00:36:54.000
So it's not all these people, you can't be these people in your pocket.
00:36:54.159 --> 00:37:10.159
The truth of the matter is it's actually the fifth-step experience that she just read is absolutely in direct, um what would I say, direct uh opposition to uh a fifth step of people, sponsor, all that stuff.
00:37:10.320 --> 00:37:11.679
It's in direct opposite of that.
00:37:11.760 --> 00:37:15.360
You're getting into God, you're not getting into people, you're going the other way.
00:37:15.519 --> 00:37:17.840
You're going into a life where you're connected to God.
00:37:18.400 --> 00:37:20.719
Well, because at the end of the day, too.
00:37:21.199 --> 00:37:24.559
Oh well, at the end of the day, I mean you answer to God.
00:37:24.639 --> 00:37:31.760
So it's like I remember there were some things where my sponsor said I could do this, but spiritually it wasn't right for me, you know.
00:37:32.079 --> 00:37:35.199
Like my dad's just saying I could file bankruptcy.
00:37:35.280 --> 00:37:35.360
Sure.
00:37:35.599 --> 00:37:37.039
That wasn't right for me.
00:37:37.199 --> 00:37:43.199
I'm not saying it's you know, other people, but that you know, so ultimately God is the ultimate authority, not a sponsor.
00:37:43.519 --> 00:37:44.079
Absolutely.
00:37:44.239 --> 00:37:47.599
And all the people are gonna be going rah-rah rah over here.
00:37:47.760 --> 00:37:52.079
Yeah, and now everybody's over here, and and now you're it's about you're back into peer pressure again.
00:37:52.320 --> 00:37:53.679
How are you gonna ever stand by yourself?
00:37:53.760 --> 00:37:55.360
How are you ever gonna be your own person?
00:37:55.440 --> 00:37:58.239
How are you ever gonna you're gonna just gonna be a sheep and you're gonna be acting?
00:37:58.400 --> 00:38:00.000
You're gonna get back into acting again.
00:38:00.400 --> 00:38:01.599
They act spiritual.
00:38:01.760 --> 00:38:09.039
That that's it's a difference than being able to stand up and be, and you don't have to be rude about it, because remember, God's building soldiers here, he's building people that can bring something.
00:38:09.119 --> 00:38:10.719
He's gonna you're what are you gonna be?
00:38:10.880 --> 00:38:20.559
Just say what everybody else says and mimic whatever you're gonna be hopefully getting into a place where it says in the seventh step when it says was I go out and do your bidding.
00:38:21.039 --> 00:38:25.760
So you you you the it's a huge thing of what we're trying to do here and where we're moving.
00:38:26.159 --> 00:38:28.719
Anyway, so we're pretty much done for today, right?
00:38:28.880 --> 00:38:30.000
Yeah, sound good?
00:38:30.159 --> 00:38:30.400
Yes.
00:38:30.719 --> 00:38:31.599
Okay, what are we gonna do?
00:38:31.760 --> 00:38:42.559
We're gonna like, share, uh, please, uh, comments, any kind of questions, if you want to uh whatever you whatever you want to put out there, we can go back and forth.
00:38:42.639 --> 00:38:44.559
Uh anything, maybe your experience.
00:38:44.719 --> 00:38:48.079
So it's subscribe, follow, share, comment.
00:38:48.239 --> 00:38:50.719
Uh, and uh thank you for everybody showing up.
00:38:50.800 --> 00:38:54.159
Uh we next week we will get into six, a little bit six and seven.
00:38:54.320 --> 00:38:57.840
It's gonna be probably uh, you know, they're kind of one leads into the other.
00:38:57.920 --> 00:39:02.079
They all lead into it's almost hard to talk about one step without talking about the two steps following.
00:39:02.239 --> 00:39:04.320
You know, it's like today we're gonna talk about today.
00:39:04.400 --> 00:39:07.519
Well, yesterday and tomorrow kind of like evolved, you know what I mean?
00:39:07.599 --> 00:39:09.440
It's like the the trifector, anyway.
00:39:09.599 --> 00:39:11.119
So uh we will see you next week.
00:39:11.280 --> 00:39:13.199
Thank you, and I appreciate it.
00:39:13.679 --> 00:39:14.239
Bye