A Real Decision Creates A New Life

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Welcome back to Just Your Average Joel Podcast.
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We're going to talk about everything your mother said not to talk about in polite company.
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Politics, religion, religion in our politics, politics in our religion.
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And Joel is an ordinary guy who had an extraordinary experience that uh we're all supposed to be having, really, in the 12-step fellowship.
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So it's not happening very much today.
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And so we are talking about it, trying to get to the bottom of it.
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And now I give you Joel.
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Hello, everybody.
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Welcome back.
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Good to see you again.
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Uh, we've been going through the steps slowly.
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Uh, well, we started with the history.
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If you go through some of our past episodes, through the history of alcoholics and I was kind of where things came from.
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And also, we were setting the stage, you know, as far as step one, step two, we're gonna get into step three today.
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Uh, making a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God.
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Um, for me, and I wrote here, it's fine, it's Ted mentioned it right before we got on.
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She goes, uh, the decision, decision brings power.
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And uh people kind of gloss over it.
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It's absolutely and what we say about you know, there's a lot of problems, why the success rate is where it is.
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Well, here here we're controlling down on what what the problem is.
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We we we talked in the last couple weeks about listen, your life ran by you, it's impossible.
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You need a power greater than yourself.
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They said, Well, what power?
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Obviously, the that talks about the big book Alcoholics Anonymous, that you'll find that power in the in that, and they said, Yes, we'll be talking about God.
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Listen, the whole thing, we were reading, in fact, we were doing four-step in a meeting, and it was like, I couldn't believe, and I've been so 30 years, I couldn't believe how many times they referred to God in the four step.
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How many there's a prayer in there, help me get over this guy that I hate or who or this girl, whatever.
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There's prayer in there, there's constantly turning to God.
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It says, God alone can be our judge of our sex conduct.
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God alone.
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It's like all, I mean, I I was I'm like, listen, they sound like they're obsessed with God.
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Uh the big book.
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And you know, but that's usually how I share because that's could have been my experience.
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That's been my experience.
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We've got to give a little caveat here because when I met Joel, we had both been sober for a while.
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I did get sober right out of the big book of Alcoholics Anonymous.
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Um, you know, he got blasted.
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He hadn't really read the big book.
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And when we were talking about it, he's like, that's what the big book says.
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Because if you go to meetings and you listen to people who say they read the big book, they quote a lot of stuff that's not in the big book.
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So he kind of thought, nah, the big book's full of crap.
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And now that we've really been in the book and studying it, he's like, you know, this is exactly what happened to me without a book.
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It's exactly what happened to me with a book.
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So, you know, that that's it's kind of funny because when you're in meetings, a lot of people are carrying the book around, they're talking about the book, but they're also saying, don't talk about God, don't scare the newcomer away.
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So the whole the whole book talks about God and says it's the whole point of the book.
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The whole point of the book.
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And I I've and I went through the steps formally.
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I knew the steps, I knew the step book, I knew about the steps, but as far as the aviance of all of um the stories leading up to it, the the the doctor's opinion, how they kind of put it in perspective, why you need God and all this stuff, I didn't read a lot of that.
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So when I got, I think it was about 10 years sober, and it was like, you know, for me to really communicate with other people, we do have a basic text.
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It's like if I'm gonna help and work with other alcoholics, and I would be, I'd share stuff out and my experience, which was out of the book.
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It was the experience is the experience.
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Just so you know, the experience is experience.
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Well, laid out shortly, quickly, or whatever.
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It is about surrender, it's about uh the death of self.
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Okay, so it's about making that decision, right?
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And coming to that decision, all these things.
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So I would to help other people, I start going, because they don't sometimes they don't believe in my experience.
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I mean, I could tell you and be like, uh, but then they kind of listen to the word, you know, the written word.
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You go and start showing them in the book.
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Look, man, this is where it's in the book.
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And that's what I would say to anybody here.
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You can check what I'm saying here when we when we're going through this.
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Go to the book and look at what the book does say, because it backs up everything I'm saying.
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And it's what happens is okay, so here we are going through step one.
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We went through step two.
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People are like glossing over all this stuff.
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They they don't really, they okay, they don't really concede to their innermost self that they're alcoholics.
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That's not that hopelessness, okay.
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So they kind of like ponder whether they're gonna believe or not.
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Listen, you're hopeless.
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Without divine help, you're done cooked.
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For a guy like me, for a guy like Jen.
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So that causes you to have to believe.
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There's no, you know, this that's non-negotiable.
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I have to believe because we've already established that no human power could relieve me of my alcoholism.
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That's the ABCs, right?
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Alcoholics Anonymous, uh, alcohol uh that we were alcoholics, could not manage our own lives, that probably no human power could have relieved our alcoholism, and that God could and would if he were soft.
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And that's right after how it works, what we read over time in the big book in a meeting.
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They read how it works, they go, they read how it works, they read how it works.
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Well, right after how it works, it goes through all the steps, tells you how it works.
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It's amazing how it works, is how it works, right?
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You know, what a concept.
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Well, I used to think it was when you got your cigarette.
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You know, even in the beginning, when I used to get when I got sober, it was like I thought it was when you get your ashtray and your cigarette, you know, you get everything set up for the meeting.
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But they it there is an importance to it because there is an outline how it works.
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And uh and then it goes right after that reading, it says, being we are convinced we are at step three.
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Now they've gone through a lot of things to convince you.
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I mean, the best thing to convince you is like Jen talks about, right?
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John Boyle corn himself, right?
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You're drinking, you're lying to yourself, you're trying without going down this path, you doing it your way.
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There's many many paths that bring you to the path.
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But there's one path.
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You know, there's a lot of roads to the path uh to bring you to a place of hopelessness and having to make that decision.
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So we're gonna talk about that today, the third step and how it's being glossed, you know, like when Jen says, you know, uh people are missing it.
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Why are they missing it?
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Well, this is why they're missing it.
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It it starts in the beginning.
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It's almost like when we talk about we're gonna go to God, so we're we're gonna get on this train or plane or whatever, and and God's in, let's say he's in Indiana, and you get on a plane to California, you know, you're not gonna wind up in the same place.
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And they're getting on the wrong, they're getting, they're entering into the wrong place from the beginning.
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So the trajectory is not gonna wind you up where the big book alcoholics are not bringing you, which is in the hand of God, enlightenment, communication, relationship.
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That's it's all there.
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Boom.
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It's it's absolutely it's and and they're they're really taking the they're taking the big glorious greatness out of the whole thing.
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They they're taking it out, they're flattening it out.
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It's getting more and more watered down, it's getting more and more people, it's getting like happy, little happy, but it ain't real.
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You know what I mean?
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It ain't like profound.
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It's like not God's not communicating, it's not like what the big book of Alcoholics Anonymous is offering.
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And then a lot of people are uh disenchanted, right?
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After a while, they wind up in this place, they're really not that happy.
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It's like, you know, they've sucked all they can out of the AA thing, the fellowship to people and everything else, and now what?
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You know, their life's back almost like it was because it's just a whole nother form of self they're going on.
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They're going on another head trip.
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It's just a different head trip, but it's the same, you know, it's a world of ego still.
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Right.
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Instead of worshiping God and going to God, they're going to AA, the sponsor, the book.
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That's what you're saying.
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They're not going, yeah.
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Yeah, they're winding up in a temporal place, a dead end.
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All that stuff brings you to death.
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Everything in the world of ego, the face of death, if you get into the Course of Miracles, whatever, ego is the face of death.
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It all brings you to the dead end.
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Might take ten years, might take five years, it might take what it is.
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For a guy like myself, had to get on the right projection because it would happen immediately.
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I would immediately not be able to function, you know, when it talks about, and they always say, He will give you the fit fellowship you crave.
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Yes.
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In the in uh that's in uh vision for you near the end of the book.
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Yeah, exactly.
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That God will provide these things.
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Well, for and there's a big scripture, and people don't like hearing it, and I I can't quote exactly, but seek the kingdom of God first, and all things will be added to you.
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Uh and that and and in that is really the first things first in AA.
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Yeah, exactly.
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So step zero is you're out there, you burn it to the ground.
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John Barleycorn himself is our best advocate.
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You come to AA, now you're you've ceased fighting anything or anyone.
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You've conceded to your innermost self that you're alcoholic, that no human power, not a million human powers, not anybody in AA, no sponsor, nobody.
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You gotta go to God.
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And everything leaves clues, you know.
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So a lot of people are not done.
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They're still fighting, they're you know, all sponsor people, they don't want to hear about this, they don't want to hear about that, and they're just not done yet.
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Carl Young couldn't get people done, Dr.
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Silkworth couldn't get people done, Harry Tebow couldn't get people done.
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You being done is between you and God, and when you're done, you're done, and that's when you're really ready for for step three, right?
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Refrain from the debating society.
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Yeah, and you'll see people come in.
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And like I had a good friend of mine, he was in for 15 or 17, he was in for a long period of time.
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He says, I went out when I came back this time, I experienced things that I had never experienced in the whole 17 years I was in here.
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A whole different realm, a whole different thing.
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I had he says, I can't believe but it takes what it takes.
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But you know, a lot of people are are coming into the path, and they're not in the and there's a lot of deception out there.
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There's a lot of people saying that is the program, and and that's why what I'm saying with what I'm gonna be saying, and talk, go to the book, check what hey AA is not meetings.
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What's going on in a meeting is not AA.
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That's a lot of people talking a bunch of crap.
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Some people are talking better crap, but there's a lot of crap.
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It's a lot of misinformation.
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Talk about some fake news.
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There's a lot of fake news in there.
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And it's right.
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Meeting makers don't make it.
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Yeah, meeting makers.
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I know guys Meeting makers make meetings.
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I got another guy I've known for years.
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He says I'd come right out of a meeting.
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He says I'd speak at a meeting.
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Speak.
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They had him up there as a speaker, leave the meeting, get drunk.
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He's like, the whole thing was a fake.
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You know, he wasn't happy.
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And he'd say I'd get struck sober, uh, struck drunk.
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But the truth of the matter was he was he was never sober.
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He was never had a transformation.
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He never had that psychic change.
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So, you know, like it's almost like monkey, what I say about bananas, right?
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You take take a monkey, uh, bananas away from a monkey, but he's still monkey.
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You know what I'm saying?
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You gotta be like something else.
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I don't know, rhinoceros or whatever, but you gotta be something else that doesn't eat monkey uh bananas.
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Right.
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That that doesn't eat bananas, they don't want bananas, there's no desire for bananas.
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So that's big part, and they and those first couple steps, one, two, is like you're already walking away from self.
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You're saying self's the problem.
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I'm not gonna have a I'm not gonna have anything without unless I surrender myself to God.
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So then we're gonna get into here's uh being convinced we are at step three.
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It says that at the end.
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And then can you read?
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She's got some reading.
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I want to read out of the big book alcoholic synonymous.
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There's a lot here after how it works, getting into a page where you're at on that.
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Uh being convinced on page 60, we're at step three, which is we've decided to turn our will and our lives over the care of God as we understood him.
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Just what do we mean by that?
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And just what do we do?
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The first requirement is that you're convinced that any life run on self-will can hardly be a success.
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Right.
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And then we'll skip down to gets into root cause and problems.
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What is the problem?
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What is the real true problem with us?
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Selfish self-centeredness.
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Not drinking.
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Not drinking, selfish self-centeredness.
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That is the root of our troubles, driven by a hundred forms of fear, self-delusion, self-seeking, and self-pity.
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We step on the toes of our fellows and they retaliate.
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Sometimes they hurt us seemingly without provocation, but we invariably find that at some time in the past we've made decisions based on self which will later which later placed us in a position to be hurt.
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So our troubles, we think, are basically of our own making.
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They arise out of ourselves, and the alcoholic is an extreme example of self-will run riot, though he usually doesn't think so.
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Above everything, we alcoholics must be rid of this selfishness.
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We must, or it kills us.
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God makes that possible.
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And there often seems no way of entirely getting rid of self without his aid.
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Many of us had moral and philosophical convictions galore, but we could not live up to them, even though we had even though we would have liked to.
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Neither could we reduce our self-centeredness much by trying on our by wishing or trying on our own power.
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We had to have God's help.
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This is the how and why of it.
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First of all, we had to quit playing God.
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It didn't work.
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Next, we decided that hereafter, in this drama of life, God was going to be our director.
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He is the principal, we are his agents.
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He is the father, we are his children.
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Most good ideas are simple, and this concept was the keystone of the new and triumphant arch through which we passed to freedom.
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When we sincerely took such a position, all sorts of remarkable things followed.
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We had a new employer being all-powerful.
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He provided what we needed if we kept close to him and performed his work well.
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Established on such a footing, we became less and less interested in ourselves, our little plans and designs.
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More and more we became interested in seeing what we could contribute to life.
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We felt new power flow in as we enjoy peace of mind, as we discovered that we could face life successfully, as we became conscious of conscious of his presence, we began to lose our fear of today, tomorrow, and hereafter.
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We were reborn.
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Because right there they're telling you, you had to have God's help.
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Okay, it's not happening without God's help.
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Without that power, it's not happening.
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Okay.
00:14:53.279 --> 00:14:58.159
Then they drill down and they talk about um the power flow and and the conscious.
00:14:58.240 --> 00:14:59.679
One thing they mentioned was conscious.
00:14:59.840 --> 00:15:01.840
Here we are talking about consciousness again.
00:15:02.000 --> 00:15:03.279
A state of consciousness.
00:15:03.440 --> 00:15:05.360
Listen, and you'll read that to people.
00:15:05.519 --> 00:15:06.240
How many times?
00:15:06.320 --> 00:15:12.399
And I've asked people out there, how many times have you heard somebody in the third step talking about a third step like that?
00:15:12.559 --> 00:15:18.000
That's right out of the big book, Alcoholics Anonymous, that we lose the fear today, tomorrow, the hereafter.
00:15:18.159 --> 00:15:19.120
We were reborn.
00:15:19.279 --> 00:15:20.720
We had a new state of consciousness.
00:15:20.799 --> 00:15:23.840
There was also an actual power that started flowing through us.
00:15:24.000 --> 00:15:27.840
How are you going to have a fearless moral inventory if you don't have that experience?
00:15:28.080 --> 00:15:30.080
How is how are you having an inventory?
00:15:30.159 --> 00:15:32.879
So this is really sets the stage for you to have that fear.
00:15:32.960 --> 00:15:36.320
And it's doubling down on your life brand by you.
00:15:36.399 --> 00:15:37.120
What is the problem?
00:15:37.279 --> 00:15:37.919
You're the problem.
00:15:38.000 --> 00:15:39.360
We're going to find out what the problem is.
00:15:39.519 --> 00:15:46.240
Now I go to God and I say, God, take, you know, making this decision to turn my will and my life over the care of God.
00:15:46.559 --> 00:15:49.440
If it's sit, oh, they mentioned another word in there, sincerely.
00:15:49.600 --> 00:15:49.840
Yeah.
00:15:50.080 --> 00:15:51.519
Sincerity is huge, man.
00:15:51.679 --> 00:15:52.639
Sincerity is huge.
00:15:52.799 --> 00:15:54.720
You can't, you know, you can't fake God out.
00:15:54.799 --> 00:15:58.399
You know, it's like if you're not if you're not coming from your heart, this thing ain't happening.
00:15:58.559 --> 00:16:00.080
You do a lot of stuff from your head.
00:16:00.240 --> 00:16:02.320
A lot of people got cerebral sobriety.
00:16:02.559 --> 00:16:05.279
They walk around like this, they talk, they're talking heads.
00:16:05.440 --> 00:16:06.159
It's not from here.
00:16:06.240 --> 00:16:06.720
It's not from here.
00:16:06.960 --> 00:16:12.000
And and what really comes from here is that pain, that that that absolute hopelessness.
00:16:12.159 --> 00:16:15.840
That all enables you to really come from here, crowd from here.
00:16:16.000 --> 00:16:16.720
God hears that.
00:16:16.879 --> 00:16:17.519
God hears that.
00:16:17.679 --> 00:16:19.919
You know, I'll pray a bunch of times, even in my life now.
00:16:20.080 --> 00:16:21.840
I pray a bunch of times.
00:16:22.159 --> 00:16:23.519
Like, uh, God's not.
00:16:23.600 --> 00:16:25.600
I'm and I'm not pretty much convinced that God's.
00:16:25.759 --> 00:16:28.399
I I am usually thinking, I'm not there yet.
00:16:28.559 --> 00:16:33.120
I haven't gotten to a place where I say, God, just do I need help here, man.
00:16:33.200 --> 00:16:34.080
You know, boom.
00:16:34.159 --> 00:16:35.279
And then it all happens.
00:16:35.440 --> 00:16:36.559
And uh, same thing with this.
00:16:36.639 --> 00:16:42.799
You got to get down to that head heart prayer where you really, and and then as we go through, can you read the uh third step prayer?
00:16:42.960 --> 00:16:45.039
Yeah, which is heavy, heavy duty.
00:16:45.279 --> 00:16:46.879
Uh we were now at step three.
00:16:47.039 --> 00:16:55.840
Many of us said to our Maker, as we understood him, God, I offer myself to thee to build with me and to do with me as thou wilt.
00:16:56.000 --> 00:17:00.080
Relieve me of the bondage of self, that I may better do thy will.
00:17:00.320 --> 00:17:08.799
Take away my difficulties, that victory over them may bear witness to those I would help of thy power, thy love, and thy way of life.
00:17:09.039 --> 00:17:11.279
May I do thy will always.
00:17:11.519 --> 00:17:20.880
And it says there that we thought well before taking this step, making sure that we're ready to at last abandon ourselves utterly to him.
00:17:21.359 --> 00:17:22.079
Huge, huge.
00:17:22.160 --> 00:17:25.680
Because so you'll hear a lot of people, let's just go through the steps, let's go through the steps.
00:17:25.839 --> 00:17:27.039
Let's not just go through the steps.
00:17:27.200 --> 00:17:28.240
Yeah, let's sit down.
00:17:28.559 --> 00:17:30.960
This is the biggest decision you'll ever make in your life.
00:17:31.119 --> 00:17:31.440
Okay.
00:17:31.599 --> 00:17:34.799
This is like me deciding to take a go walk out of here and go take a drink.
00:17:34.880 --> 00:17:37.039
Let me just tell you, it's gonna be life-altering.
00:17:37.359 --> 00:17:39.680
Okay, it's gonna be the biggest, heaviest.
00:17:39.839 --> 00:17:44.880
It says we thought long and hard before we made this to utterly you'll hit you'll never you won't hear and hear that.
00:17:45.039 --> 00:17:46.240
You'll hear it in the meetings all the time.
00:17:46.400 --> 00:17:48.559
Well, you know, it's just a decision.
00:17:48.799 --> 00:17:49.920
What's the three-flop?
00:17:50.240 --> 00:17:51.119
Oh, Jen loves this one.
00:17:51.200 --> 00:17:52.000
Tell him the three-flop.
00:17:52.400 --> 00:17:55.519
They always say there's uh three frogs on a log.
00:17:55.680 --> 00:17:56.799
One decides to jump.
00:17:56.880 --> 00:17:58.079
How many are on the log?
00:17:58.160 --> 00:17:59.200
And they always say three.
00:17:59.279 --> 00:18:06.079
I always say two, because if you made a decision, one of those frogs better be up in the air because a decision has action.
00:18:06.240 --> 00:18:08.559
Otherwise, it's just wishful thinking.
00:18:08.799 --> 00:18:09.200
Exactly.
00:18:09.279 --> 00:18:13.119
That's what they say about the alcoholic, that he makes very many resolutions.
00:18:13.759 --> 00:18:15.920
Never makes a decision, a true decision.
00:18:16.160 --> 00:18:17.519
There's power in a decision.
00:18:17.680 --> 00:18:18.799
They just showed you the power.
00:18:18.880 --> 00:18:22.960
There's so much power there, you're feeling the conscious of God of that decision.
00:18:23.119 --> 00:18:23.359
Yeah.
00:18:23.519 --> 00:18:34.319
And and so, in that whole thing, like if I told you I went to I made the decision to go to work and you come home at two o'clock in the afternoon, I'm laying in the bed, obviously I didn't make a decision.
00:18:34.400 --> 00:18:35.599
Yeah, nothing happened.
00:18:35.680 --> 00:18:37.359
That was that was uh fantasy.
00:18:37.599 --> 00:18:39.119
So there's a lot to a decision.
00:18:39.200 --> 00:18:41.119
A lot of them are like, well, you just do the four step.
00:18:41.279 --> 00:18:51.119
Well, listen, they where's okay, so if you're just skimming through, okay, because I'm trying to get down to if I'm just skimming through the top of this, am I really seeing myself in the fourth step?
00:18:51.279 --> 00:18:56.960
Did I really sit down and say, okay, God, man, and and take me, do with me as thou wilt, okay?
00:18:57.200 --> 00:18:59.759
Do you know, and making that commitment to God.
00:18:59.839 --> 00:19:04.559
And if you take me basically out of hell, I'm gonna repay, I'm gonna repay you.
00:19:04.640 --> 00:19:08.319
I'm gonna want to bear witness, okay, for the rest of my life, which is what I'm doing right now.
00:19:08.480 --> 00:19:12.880
30 years, that's been from like jump stream since I got sober and God took me out of hell.
00:19:13.039 --> 00:19:16.640
I've been bearing witness of God's power, his love, his mercy.
00:19:16.720 --> 00:19:18.319
I mean, it's over and over and over.
00:19:18.400 --> 00:19:19.119
That's what happens.
00:19:19.200 --> 00:19:20.720
And that that's you're making that agreement.
00:19:20.880 --> 00:19:23.440
You're saying, listen, God, I'm coming to you.
00:19:23.680 --> 00:19:29.359
If you take this from me, all this stuff, of course, you're gonna get into the fourth stuff, and God's gonna show you what God's gonna show you.
00:19:29.440 --> 00:19:30.960
You you want to say sponsors do it.
00:19:31.119 --> 00:19:37.279
Well, God will bring a sponsor, God will bring people, but God's the ultimate one that's in because he wants you to come to him.
00:19:37.519 --> 00:19:39.599
God's sitting here, you've you've made a decision to come to God.
00:19:39.680 --> 00:19:42.880
What he's gonna be like, oh well, let him fumble around for another 20 years.
00:19:43.039 --> 00:19:43.920
It's like, right?
00:19:44.079 --> 00:19:46.079
It's like here, here is the stuff.
00:19:46.160 --> 00:19:51.200
But when you when you're talking to utterly abandon yourself to God, that's pretty heavy stuff, man.
00:19:51.359 --> 00:19:55.680
That that you're gonna commit, you're gonna and you're gonna bear witness to this, that you're gonna take the difficulties away from.
00:19:55.839 --> 00:19:58.880
So I'm entering into a what, a contract with God?
00:19:59.200 --> 00:19:59.680
Covenant.
00:19:59.920 --> 00:20:00.480
A covenant.
00:20:00.640 --> 00:20:02.000
It's called covenant, right?
00:20:02.160 --> 00:20:03.200
A covenant with God.
00:20:03.519 --> 00:20:04.720
That's what I'm entering into.
00:20:04.799 --> 00:20:10.400
I mean, it's that heavy, it's deeper than what a skim across, maybe says, well, it's you know, you'll make up to God.
00:20:10.480 --> 00:20:15.119
You'll a lot of guys talk this crap too, which it bothers me a little bit, but I mean it's it's all right.
00:20:15.279 --> 00:20:16.880
I mean, it's it's the way it is.
00:20:17.039 --> 00:20:19.519
Well, you know, you're only on step three.
00:20:19.759 --> 00:20:20.880
They're gonna discover God.
00:20:20.960 --> 00:20:25.519
I don't know when God's gonna pop out of these guys' ass, but it it's not like when is this happening?
00:20:25.599 --> 00:20:26.720
It's already happening.
00:20:26.880 --> 00:20:27.440
Do you understand?
00:20:27.599 --> 00:20:33.039
When you're making that decision, they're already talking about shifting consciousness, they're already talking about a power flow again.
00:20:33.200 --> 00:20:35.359
That power is enabling me to do a four-step.
00:20:35.440 --> 00:20:45.359
In the four step, it's gonna start talking about how I'm gonna need God and all these things to get over my resentments and God and ask God how I should be about my sex relation, all this stuff.
00:20:45.440 --> 00:20:50.319
It talks about in meditation, in the four step, that answers will come from you.
00:20:50.400 --> 00:20:51.519
They're talking about God again.
00:20:51.599 --> 00:20:53.759
It's like the whole thing's turning you in a relationship.
00:20:53.920 --> 00:20:54.640
You're in a relationship.
00:20:54.720 --> 00:20:56.640
You made a decision to turn your will again, and guess what?
00:20:56.720 --> 00:20:58.559
You're in a relationship now, right?
00:20:58.720 --> 00:20:59.599
Now you're in the relationship.
00:20:59.839 --> 00:21:00.640
That's what the book says.
00:21:00.799 --> 00:21:06.880
The stories in the back of the book, they tell them their own language, in their own way, how they formed a relationship with God.
00:21:07.039 --> 00:21:09.680
So that is what the whole book is about.
00:21:09.839 --> 00:21:12.480
That's what we're supposed to be doing when we tell our story.
00:21:12.640 --> 00:21:20.559
We're talking about what we were like, what happened, what we're like now, what God's done in our life through relationship with Him, how we've transformed.
00:21:20.960 --> 00:21:21.279
Sure.
00:21:21.839 --> 00:21:22.559
Exactly.
00:21:22.799 --> 00:21:23.359
Exactly.
00:21:23.599 --> 00:21:27.599
And it's husband or no, husband, job or no job, sobriety just for sobriety.
00:21:27.759 --> 00:21:29.839
You're not putting God in a box either.
00:21:30.000 --> 00:21:34.240
It's you you burned your life to the ground, you're turning your life over to God now.
00:21:34.400 --> 00:21:36.880
Now, what does God want you to do with your life?
00:21:37.119 --> 00:21:37.599
Exactly.
00:21:37.680 --> 00:21:38.720
You're right, exactly.
00:21:38.880 --> 00:21:44.000
That's why the first and second steps are the way they are to say, Hey, I can't manage.
00:21:44.240 --> 00:21:51.039
And then from fifty eight, where you read to and we skipped over a little bit, self centeredness or life run by us, a life of self propulsion.
00:21:51.200 --> 00:21:56.480
It drills down over and over and over how your life ran by you is just not worth living.
00:21:56.559 --> 00:21:58.160
That's why you're in the position you're in.
00:21:58.400 --> 00:22:03.920
Exactly, which means Step one is a whole one step, not two parts.
00:22:04.160 --> 00:22:08.480
Life managed by you is gonna lead you back to a drink.
00:22:08.799 --> 00:22:10.480
Are we having an argument though?
00:22:10.720 --> 00:22:11.039
No.
00:22:12.240 --> 00:22:13.440
About this though.
00:22:15.039 --> 00:22:17.680
It's just one drop sean two to reinforce the page.
00:22:17.920 --> 00:22:25.680
And the second part of that step is how we say that part that's become unmanageable, that I need a new manager.
00:22:25.839 --> 00:22:26.799
I need a new manager.
00:22:26.960 --> 00:22:28.960
So if you don't concede the whole thing, I'm powerless.
00:22:29.279 --> 00:22:30.319
See, this is how I look at it.
00:22:30.400 --> 00:22:32.720
Because I'm powerless over alcohol, but I can manage.
00:22:32.799 --> 00:22:36.400
And I'm I'm just saying a lot of the misinterpretation is But a lot of people can manage.
00:22:36.480 --> 00:22:41.359
That's I mean, well, that's why they're that's why Alcoholics Anonymous has been taken over by all the people that can manage.
00:22:41.759 --> 00:22:45.119
They were sharing at the meeting again Sunday, uh Saturday.
00:22:46.720 --> 00:22:46.960
Yes.
00:22:47.279 --> 00:22:50.480
And then and they come in and they say, okay, they they were powerless over.
00:22:50.960 --> 00:22:56.160
And you'll hear how like I've I've shared this before, how they'll talk how their life was unmanageable while they were drinking.
00:22:56.400 --> 00:22:58.400
They're managed, they can manage their life now.
00:22:58.480 --> 00:22:59.519
Now their life is manageable.
00:22:59.599 --> 00:23:01.680
They got listen, man, I'm 30 years sober.
00:23:01.920 --> 00:23:05.359
My life ain't manageable when I got sober and ain't manageable now.
00:23:05.440 --> 00:23:07.279
I mean, it's not manageable managed by me.
00:23:07.440 --> 00:23:09.519
It's always crazy and it always will be.
00:23:09.680 --> 00:23:13.359
I mean, I'm lucky enough to have a broken enough self that myself doesn't work.
00:23:13.599 --> 00:23:21.599
Some of these people aren't so lucky, if you ask me, they're not as hopeless, they're not as convinced, and they're not really having that experience.
00:23:21.759 --> 00:23:30.400
So they can manage, which it kind of sucks the god out of the whole thing, because they're God, they're managing, and they're the ones that, you know, so that's the whole thing about them glossing over that.
00:23:30.559 --> 00:23:33.359
You know, it's like watered down, it's like the skim of the top.
00:23:33.519 --> 00:23:35.599
Well, you make a decision to turn your wallet, okay.
00:23:35.680 --> 00:23:36.480
Let's move along.
00:23:36.559 --> 00:23:38.160
Well, what are you moving along to?
00:23:38.319 --> 00:23:38.480
Right.
00:23:38.640 --> 00:23:45.599
You know, like the guy, I'm getting an argument with a guy on Facebook, and he's like, you know, you come in, you know, you talk about God and me.
00:23:46.160 --> 00:23:49.440
And I he's saying about Jesus, which I don't really bring up, Jesus.
00:23:49.599 --> 00:23:54.799
People know where I stand with that kind of stuff, but I usually just word the God, we're use God.
00:23:54.880 --> 00:23:58.400
It's like, you know, you know, you scare you scare people off, you're killing people.
00:23:58.480 --> 00:23:59.839
He thinks I'm killing them dead.
00:24:00.000 --> 00:24:05.920
Uh, I mean, so you can just tell me how little you know about the situation when you put saying that my words are killing you.
00:24:06.000 --> 00:24:11.920
They're put I mean, if anybody's killing anybody, if that was the case, it would be the people that are withholding God from people.
00:24:12.240 --> 00:24:14.480
The people that don't need God can get sober anywhere.
00:24:14.640 --> 00:24:17.920
They get sober at rotary club, they can go in a car club, they can get sober anywhere.
00:24:18.000 --> 00:24:20.319
The people that need God are the people that really need that offer.
00:24:20.400 --> 00:24:24.640
Uh or, and for for my case, is just what they said in the third step.
00:24:24.720 --> 00:24:27.200
It says, I'm gonna bear witness to what happened to me.
00:24:27.279 --> 00:24:31.200
And I'm just telling you what that was was the power of God delivered me.
00:24:31.440 --> 00:24:35.839
So he goes, you know, before they ever get started, I say, what are they getting started on?
00:24:36.000 --> 00:24:38.160
You know, that's why I think I'm a shared last one, whatever.
00:24:38.240 --> 00:24:39.279
But it's like what, crayons?
00:24:39.359 --> 00:24:41.279
We give them out crayons and colouring books.
00:24:41.359 --> 00:24:42.400
What are they getting started on?
00:24:42.480 --> 00:24:44.880
This whole thing is getting started on a relationship with God.
00:24:45.039 --> 00:24:45.920
That's what it's about.
00:24:46.000 --> 00:24:46.160
Yeah.
00:24:46.319 --> 00:24:58.799
To have that essential psychic change, to have the vital spiritual thing, to have the gift, really for me the gift of the Holy Spirit, where I can lean on not all these man-made things, I can lean on God, you know, a relationship with God.
00:24:58.880 --> 00:25:00.319
So that's the decision's huge.
00:25:00.400 --> 00:25:04.880
And I like what you say about reading the back of the book, like the the goal point.
00:25:05.039 --> 00:25:06.400
Where are we trying to end up?
00:25:06.480 --> 00:25:07.839
You know, where are we trying to get to?
00:25:08.240 --> 00:25:10.559
Yeah, well, maybe we should read it.
00:25:10.720 --> 00:25:12.319
Yeah, read let's read the scriptures.
00:25:12.480 --> 00:25:12.720
Exactly.
00:25:13.200 --> 00:25:15.279
And this is kind of what we're hoping that happens, man.
00:25:15.359 --> 00:25:18.000
You know, like uh that what we're making the decision for.
00:25:18.240 --> 00:25:18.799
Yeah.
00:25:19.440 --> 00:25:35.599
The term spiritual experience and spiritual awakening are used many times in this book, which upon careful reading shows that the personality change sufficient to bring about recovery from alcoholism has manifested itself among us in many different forms.
00:25:35.839 --> 00:25:48.480
Yet it's true that our first printing gave many readers the impression impression that these personality changes or religious experiences must be in the nature of sudden and spectacular upheavals.
00:25:48.640 --> 00:25:51.599
Happily for everyone, this conclusion is erroneous.
00:25:51.839 --> 00:25:56.720
In the first few chapters, a number of sudden revolutionary changes are described.
00:25:56.960 --> 00:26:16.000
Though it was not our intention to create such an impression, many alcoholics have nevertheless concluded that in order to recover, they must require they must acquire an immediate and overwhelming God consciousness, followed at once by a vast change in feeling and outlook.
00:26:16.319 --> 00:26:25.920
Among our rapidly growing membership of thousands of alcoholics, such transformations, though frequent, are by no means the rule.
00:26:26.160 --> 00:26:35.519
Most of our experiences are what the psychologist William James calls the educational variety because they develop slowly over a period of time.
00:26:35.920 --> 00:26:41.279
Quite often, friends of the newcomer are aware of the difference long before he is himself.
00:26:41.519 --> 00:26:53.519
He finally realizes that he has undergone a profound alteration in his reaction to life, that such a change could hardly have been brought about by himself alone.
00:26:54.160 --> 00:27:02.160
What often takes place in a few months could seldom have been accomplished by years of self-discipline.
00:27:02.559 --> 00:27:15.599
With few exceptions, our member find our members find that they have tapped an unsuspected inner resource, which they presently identify with their own conception of a power greater than themselves.
00:27:15.920 --> 00:27:22.880
Most of us think that this awareness of a power greater than ourselves is the essence of a spiritual experience.
00:27:23.279 --> 00:27:26.799
Our more religious members call it a God consciousness.
00:27:27.279 --> 00:27:42.559
Most emphatically, we wish to say that any alcoholic capable of honestly facing his problems in light of our experience can recover, provided he does not close his mind to all spiritual conceptions.
00:27:42.799 --> 00:27:48.480
He can only be defeated by an attitude of intolerance or belligerent denial.
00:27:48.960 --> 00:27:53.039
We find no one need have difficulty with the spirituality of the program.
00:27:53.359 --> 00:27:59.680
Willingness, honesty, and open-mindedness are the essentials of recovery, but these are indispensable.
00:28:00.079 --> 00:28:01.359
Read uh what's his name as well?
00:28:01.759 --> 00:28:02.079
Okay.
00:28:02.240 --> 00:28:12.720
Uh there's a principle which is a bar against all information, which is proof against all arguments, and which cannot fail to keep a man in everlasting ignorance.
00:28:13.039 --> 00:28:16.000
That principle is contempt prior to investigation.
00:28:16.319 --> 00:28:18.240
Contempt prior to investigation.
00:28:19.599 --> 00:28:22.640
Well, and a lot of people say, Oh, that's just my personality.
00:28:22.720 --> 00:28:25.119
It's like, well, it's supposed to change.
00:28:25.599 --> 00:28:28.640
You might need another personality to stay sober.
00:28:29.440 --> 00:28:30.240
Absolutely.
00:28:30.799 --> 00:28:31.200
Yep.
00:28:31.440 --> 00:28:35.200
And a lot of people just morph into something that they make comfortable in this.
00:28:35.359 --> 00:28:37.519
But you heard what it said in there too.
00:28:37.599 --> 00:28:51.519
What years, and this is why you have people, people like they do a hierarchy in Alcoholics Anonymous, and it's kind of they do like over time and years, and people who have many multiple years, they kind of figure they know more than people that might not be there that long, which is not true.
00:28:51.759 --> 00:28:54.240
Spirituality and time, it's kind of like God.
00:28:54.319 --> 00:28:59.759
I mean, obviously Well, it says there, God can do in a few months what you can't do with years of self-discipline.
00:29:00.000 --> 00:29:00.880
I know that's true.
00:29:01.119 --> 00:29:01.440
Exactly.
00:29:01.519 --> 00:29:02.480
And then you got a lot of that.
00:29:02.559 --> 00:29:08.000
So you got people with 30, 40 years there full of shit that haven't really, they're not in the they're not even in the spiritual realm.
00:29:08.079 --> 00:29:11.119
They're not, they're in the AA realm, and that's a different world.
00:29:11.200 --> 00:29:12.240
There's two worlds in there.
00:29:12.400 --> 00:29:17.119
There's the AA group, and then there's the program Alcoholics Anonymous, and then there's the God group.
00:29:17.279 --> 00:29:20.880
And the God group's smaller and smaller and smaller, uh, as far as I can see.
00:29:20.960 --> 00:29:25.680
Um, so when you're saying that, you know, where are you winding up, right?
00:29:25.759 --> 00:29:26.880
Where are these people wind up?
00:29:26.960 --> 00:29:35.759
And they're the ones that are really, it's uh whether tail wagging the dog, they're really the most the they're the most influential people in alcoholics anonymous.
00:29:35.920 --> 00:29:37.920
They're all the ones that are there, is what I think.
00:29:38.079 --> 00:29:50.799
I mean, most of the people that are there are people that are very slowly educational, uh, and and some really whacked out, what I think is whacked out interpretations and uh which is working for a lot of them.
00:29:51.039 --> 00:30:05.920
So it seems like it's working for them, but it's about fellowship, it's about people, it's not about uh what they're talking about awakening, transformation, um, psychic change, vital spiritual communication with God, the God of the universe.
00:30:06.079 --> 00:30:07.519
I mean, it's a lot bigger than all that.
00:30:07.599 --> 00:30:11.279
It's kind of been minimized, and a lot of it happens here with that decision.
00:30:11.440 --> 00:30:14.640
Yeah, decision to turn my will, my will and my life.
00:30:14.720 --> 00:30:16.400
Think about how it's drastic.
00:30:16.480 --> 00:30:18.880
It's a drastic radical idea.
00:30:19.119 --> 00:30:23.759
And they don't want to tell you it's a drastic radical idea because they'd rather have you here than not have you here.
00:30:23.839 --> 00:30:34.400
You know, because if I told you back in the day they used to, and this is true, Akron, uh, they were getting guys on their knees and they were saying, accept the Lord Jesus Christ as your savior or go back out and drink.
00:30:34.559 --> 00:30:36.720
I mean, they were like that, that's where they were.
00:30:36.880 --> 00:30:38.400
Their success rate was huge.
00:30:38.640 --> 00:30:45.599
I don't know how many guys were going out and getting drunk, but the guys that were there were staying because they were having true transformations.
00:30:45.759 --> 00:30:49.119
Because they were willing to accept whatever, whatever we say.
00:30:49.200 --> 00:30:51.599
Okay, you're gonna have to accept God in your life.
00:30:51.680 --> 00:30:56.400
You're gonna have to turn your will in your life over to care of God, and there's gonna have to be some sincerity in that.
00:30:56.880 --> 00:30:59.599
I think God makes all that stuff possible for you.
00:30:59.680 --> 00:31:05.359
Yeah, because once you go to God and you you uh have that time where you say with that, God answers that.
00:31:05.519 --> 00:31:11.279
God brings the people because then you you get hung up on the sponsor thing and four steps and how this went.
00:31:11.440 --> 00:31:14.400
Listen, the people are not as relevant as we think.
00:31:14.640 --> 00:31:16.799
Well, the thing is, if your heart's right, it doesn't matter.
00:31:17.119 --> 00:31:22.640
I mean, when I got sober, you know, my sponsor didn't know the four columns, and you know, it didn't matter.
00:31:22.799 --> 00:31:26.880
My heart was I I was repenting, I was sick of living this way.
00:31:26.960 --> 00:31:28.319
It wasn't just about drinking.
00:31:28.400 --> 00:31:30.079
I didn't want to be who I was anymore.
00:31:30.160 --> 00:31:31.599
I had that moment of clarity.
00:31:31.759 --> 00:31:33.440
I saw myself as I really was.
00:31:33.599 --> 00:31:41.759
I couldn't tell myself some story of being a good wife and a good mother, all that, all that delusion and illusion was smashed.
00:31:41.839 --> 00:31:44.559
I was turning my life to God to to God.
00:31:44.880 --> 00:31:48.079
You know, it was it was a big decision.
00:31:48.559 --> 00:31:56.480
You know, so well, and and when you talk about Christ, Christ, when he would heal people, I have it on uh on one of these uh screenshots.
00:31:56.559 --> 00:32:07.519
There's some scriptures that were uh Christ would heal people, and he'd always in fact I was watching Chosen one night, and he said uh they had it in there, and it was uh here's one of them.
00:32:07.680 --> 00:32:13.200
Um the woman with uh with the blood touched them, and he always would make the thing because we're talking about faith here.
00:32:13.279 --> 00:32:14.880
The principle behind third step is faith.
00:32:15.200 --> 00:32:17.119
He said, Your faith has made you whole.
00:32:17.279 --> 00:32:31.599
He would always turn it back to response because now let's here's another thing that Pat used to say to me many years ago, good good friend uh back in the day, and uh he uh he would say spirituality and responsibility are synonymous.
00:32:31.920 --> 00:32:36.240
Okay, my responsibility for my spiritual connection is mine.
00:32:36.400 --> 00:32:39.279
Okay, I God God's not gonna God's a gentleman.
00:32:39.519 --> 00:32:45.839
My other spot who passed away, uh Mark, used to say all the time, you know, God's a gentleman, he won't go where he's not asked.
00:32:46.079 --> 00:32:48.160
So God you can keep God out of your life.
00:32:48.319 --> 00:32:50.400
But if you want God in your life, you make that decision.
00:32:50.480 --> 00:32:52.640
Well, there's a power, everybody has the power of faith.
00:32:52.720 --> 00:32:54.559
We have faith, we have faith in all kinds of stuff.
00:32:54.799 --> 00:32:57.200
Do we have faith in what in the true power?
00:32:57.359 --> 00:33:14.960
That's and that my point was anyway, you know, that was and my sponsor, she didn't, you know, she didn't know all all the columns or anything, and she got drunk when I had a year sober, but my heart was for sobriety and for God, and God's word's not gonna come back void, and God knows my heart.
00:33:15.119 --> 00:33:27.359
And and so you know, there's people that know all the columns and every page, and every, you know, I had somebody say in the meeting the other day that, you know, she used to write the four step for her sponsees and stuff.
00:33:27.440 --> 00:33:31.759
And I do that sometimes because I sponsor a lot of women in jail, they can't read and write, you know.
00:33:31.839 --> 00:33:35.039
So yeah, I do it with them, but I'm not doing it for them.
00:33:35.200 --> 00:33:38.400
Their heart is for God, and God's gonna make sure that it happens.
00:33:38.480 --> 00:33:51.279
And there's other people, if your heart's not for God, that's not what your heart you can do, check, box, do every column, do everything, and and and well, you're gonna get you're not looking for God, so that's not what you're gonna get.
00:33:51.359 --> 00:33:56.000
You don't just mechanically get it, it's a heart posture, not a head thing.
00:33:56.240 --> 00:34:04.240
Absolutely, absolutely, it's not mechanical, it's not mechanical, even though it is sort of, but why are you doing the mechanics?
00:34:04.319 --> 00:34:06.880
I think is more important than the mechanics.
00:34:07.200 --> 00:34:07.359
Right.
00:34:07.440 --> 00:34:09.360
It all comes from you get sold from the inside out.
00:34:09.440 --> 00:34:10.880
You're not getting sort of from the outside in.
00:34:11.360 --> 00:34:14.320
They're saying, like, if you do these outside things, you're getting a change on the inside.
00:34:14.639 --> 00:34:17.920
Truth of the matter is if you ask from the inside, God will help you.
00:34:18.079 --> 00:34:22.960
See, because the the the biggest the biggest thing in the whole thing is God.
00:34:23.280 --> 00:34:26.719
I mean, with Bill and Bill and Bob without the chicken.
00:34:27.119 --> 00:34:29.760
If Bill and Bob got together, they would have probably robbed Lois.
00:34:29.920 --> 00:34:30.639
I mean, you know, or whatever.
00:34:30.719 --> 00:34:31.199
They would have hit.
00:34:31.599 --> 00:34:33.840
But a lot of us are institutionalized too.
00:34:34.000 --> 00:34:39.119
A lot of people are in there checking boxes, doing things, but not much is happening internally.
00:34:39.360 --> 00:34:46.559
And this time, I probably didn't do anything right mechanically and on the outside, but I was doing everything right inside, and so it works.
00:34:46.639 --> 00:34:47.920
So there is a difference.
00:34:48.159 --> 00:34:48.880
Well, think about it.
00:34:48.960 --> 00:34:55.679
If God is over here, God's over here an awakening in this life, and you're calling, okay, God, I'm seeking you.
00:34:55.760 --> 00:34:57.760
Because remember, when you go through, and I'm I'll jump a little ahead.
00:34:57.840 --> 00:35:04.239
When you go through the fourth step, it says on page 72, it'll say, We were trying to establish a new relationship with our creator.
00:35:04.320 --> 00:35:05.519
So I'm paraphrasing.
00:35:05.679 --> 00:35:08.719
It says, and these were the obstacles we found in our course, in our way.
00:35:08.880 --> 00:35:14.800
Well, when I make that decision, turn my will and my life over the care of God, it's like, okay, so why don't I have a relationship with God?
00:35:15.119 --> 00:35:15.280
Right?
00:35:15.440 --> 00:35:16.320
Why don't I have that?
00:35:16.480 --> 00:35:18.159
Well, there's obstacles in the way.
00:35:18.239 --> 00:35:20.239
Now, who's going to reveal those obstacles?
00:35:20.400 --> 00:35:27.280
I mean, if you're not like really sincerely, and that power didn't flow through, you heard what we read in '63.
00:35:27.440 --> 00:35:42.639
That power kind of flew through through f flows in where you're a little more fearless and you're seeing yourself a little more responsible, like you, and you really want to know, not I'm like this because of my dad or my mom or whatever, my situation or how I grew up.
00:35:42.800 --> 00:35:45.599
I'm like this because that this is who I am.
00:35:45.760 --> 00:35:47.280
This is what I've become.
00:35:47.519 --> 00:35:52.880
And God will, what you don't think God's standing here going, here, here, Joel, here's what's blocking you from me.
00:35:53.119 --> 00:35:54.480
And maybe that's part of the problem.
00:35:54.559 --> 00:36:00.800
If they think that they're they're only this way because of drinking, how are you getting a for fearless moral inventory?
00:36:01.119 --> 00:36:03.039
This is who you are.
00:36:03.440 --> 00:36:04.400
This is why I drink.
00:36:04.559 --> 00:36:05.440
This is why I drink.
00:36:05.840 --> 00:36:09.840
Again, you got the like that lady said, I'm not in, I didn't marry an alcoholic.
00:36:10.079 --> 00:36:12.320
I'm not an al-on because I married an alcoholic.
00:36:12.480 --> 00:36:15.039
I married an alcoholic because I'm an al-Anon.
00:36:15.440 --> 00:36:16.000
Same thing.
00:36:16.159 --> 00:36:21.280
It's like, you know, what's wrong with me that made an alcoholic out of me to begin with?
00:36:21.440 --> 00:36:24.000
This problem was with me before I picked up a drink.
00:36:24.239 --> 00:36:24.400
Right.
00:36:24.480 --> 00:36:27.360
And the worse off you are, the more you gotta deal with that.
00:36:27.519 --> 00:36:30.000
So, like a lot of people aren't that bad off.
00:36:30.159 --> 00:36:35.519
So they get sober and then they get into the AA thing and then they get a group commitment and da-da-da-da.
00:36:35.599 --> 00:36:36.320
Then they get in the phone.
00:36:36.480 --> 00:36:40.000
A guy like me, I'm gonna be like yelling at the people in the me.
00:36:40.320 --> 00:36:45.920
I mean, I'm just too I'm I I need the personality change, I need the transformation, I need to be transformed.
00:36:46.000 --> 00:36:48.000
So I'm not gonna have any of that, which is a good thing.
00:36:48.079 --> 00:36:50.239
I mean, I think of it as a good thing because I have to have God.
00:36:50.320 --> 00:36:52.320
Yeah, you know, I don't I can't really skip.
00:36:53.199 --> 00:37:00.000
My ex-husband used to say, you know, when he drank, he's like, eh, every time, you know, he could go out on Friday and come back on Monday.
00:37:00.159 --> 00:37:03.360
And every time he drank, yeah, he just lost a little bit of time.
00:37:03.760 --> 00:37:06.320
I drank, I like lost a little bit of my soul.
00:37:06.400 --> 00:37:09.039
I drank on Friday, I might not come back for two years.
00:37:09.280 --> 00:37:16.320
So you know, I guess you just gotta know the type of alcoholic you are and and and what you're doing here, what you're seeking.
00:37:16.559 --> 00:37:21.039
What you know, how big of a decision is this for you, this third step decision.
00:37:21.280 --> 00:37:22.159
Yeah, and a lot of people.
00:37:27.360 --> 00:37:28.559
That's why it's such a building block.
00:37:28.719 --> 00:37:29.519
How hopeless were you?
00:37:29.679 --> 00:37:31.199
How unmanageable did you really think you were?
00:37:31.360 --> 00:37:34.159
Some people kind of kind of hopeless, kind of unmanageable.
00:37:34.239 --> 00:37:34.400
Yeah.
00:37:34.559 --> 00:37:36.000
So, and it talks about that.
00:37:36.159 --> 00:37:38.480
In if we're seriously alcoholics, we were.
00:37:38.559 --> 00:37:39.760
There was no middle of the road solution.
00:37:39.840 --> 00:37:40.800
It talks about in 25.
00:37:40.960 --> 00:37:43.679
Entering in a region which there is no return through human aid.
00:37:43.840 --> 00:37:49.840
It also says on what level you've lost a choice of drink will be on what level you'll have to have a spiritual connection.
00:37:50.000 --> 00:37:52.559
So if you don't have to have it on that, be honest though.
00:37:52.639 --> 00:37:54.639
Like some people are in there, like they act a certain way.
00:37:54.719 --> 00:37:56.159
It's like, yeah, I get it.
00:37:56.320 --> 00:37:59.360
You're this way, and that's okay, and you don't need a lot of this stuff.
00:37:59.440 --> 00:38:04.239
But don't tell me you're coming out of the book and you've had this 12-step of spirits and you had a spiritual awakening.
00:38:04.320 --> 00:38:06.079
Now you're full of shit, basically.
00:38:06.239 --> 00:38:08.880
You're saying you had this, and really you got this.
00:38:09.039 --> 00:38:11.679
You got this AA thing, fellowship, club.
00:38:11.840 --> 00:38:18.239
Uh you love the people, there's a love there, which is kind of God, kind of intangibly, not maybe as direct.
00:38:18.400 --> 00:38:20.400
It's kind of a different kind of connection.
00:38:20.480 --> 00:38:31.440
It's not what they're talking about in here when they're talking about utterly you've thought long and hard about this to utterly abandon, but oh, abandon yourself utterly to God.
00:38:31.519 --> 00:38:32.159
That's huge.
00:38:32.400 --> 00:38:32.800
It's huge.
00:38:32.960 --> 00:38:37.360
And then uh I was gonna go into the faith thing because faith is what heals you.
00:38:37.519 --> 00:38:41.840
And uh, I always go back to when we were at that thing, and the guy said, Grace is pouring down.
00:38:42.000 --> 00:38:46.639
He says, Grace is pouring down, the just and the unjust pouring down everywhere, and you're walking around with an umbrella.
00:38:46.800 --> 00:38:50.079
And uh, this is part of this is where I start putting that umbrella down.
00:38:50.320 --> 00:38:52.719
Start putting down so I can experience the grace and the power of God.
00:38:52.800 --> 00:38:58.400
If I don't believe there's the power of God that is out there, or the or or there is that power, then it's there it isn't.
00:38:58.559 --> 00:38:59.679
I mean, if I right?
00:38:59.840 --> 00:39:02.000
If I don't believe it's not, it's not there.
00:39:02.239 --> 00:39:07.840
So I can I actually there's a part in the Bible that talks about it says we have more power than even the angels.
00:39:08.000 --> 00:39:10.800
The angels do exactly what they're directed to do.
00:39:11.039 --> 00:39:16.320
That we have we have God has given us so much power that we are able to say no.
00:39:16.719 --> 00:39:19.199
We are able to say to God, I don't want you in my life.
00:39:19.360 --> 00:39:20.239
And that's love.
00:39:20.480 --> 00:39:23.440
Because he's not we're not looking at a dictatorship here.
00:39:23.519 --> 00:39:29.280
You know, my my relationship with God is not a dictatorship, it is a mutual, he wants me to want him.
00:39:29.679 --> 00:39:33.039
And and step three is an act of your own free will.
00:39:33.199 --> 00:39:33.440
Sure.
00:39:33.679 --> 00:39:38.079
You have to you have to submit your will to God's left, to God's will.
00:39:38.239 --> 00:39:40.960
I'm submitting my flesh to the Spirit of God.
00:39:41.199 --> 00:39:41.519
Exactly.
00:39:41.679 --> 00:39:44.639
And and and the ones on the faith is the woman issued with blood.
00:39:44.719 --> 00:39:47.280
That was Matthew 20 uh 22.
00:39:47.519 --> 00:39:54.559
Jesus tells her in confidence, in confidence in his power to heal resulted in her recovery.
00:39:54.719 --> 00:40:00.960
Uh, he also talks about with the blind man, um, it says the absolute restoration of his sight was his faith.
00:40:01.039 --> 00:40:01.679
They went back to him.
00:40:01.920 --> 00:40:03.840
He says, Your faith has made you whole.
00:40:04.079 --> 00:40:08.159
He always turned it back to their faith, their responsibility, an act of their faith.
00:40:08.320 --> 00:40:11.119
I mean, I had faith in a lot of things I shouldn't have probably had faith in.
00:40:11.280 --> 00:40:18.159
Uh women, alcohol, you know, but God's the only one that it's having faith in something that goes somewhere.
00:40:18.239 --> 00:40:20.320
And it they talk about that on spiritual awakening.
00:40:20.400 --> 00:40:37.360
I I was on a path that felt like it was going somewhere because I'm actually getting into the right, I'm getting into the right, I'm getting into uh reality and truth and love and all these good things that are that are eternal, that don't end, don't wind up in a dead end street where all the other stuff winds up in a dead end street.
00:40:37.599 --> 00:40:42.000
And he talks about in too that self-confidence uh availed you nothing.
00:40:42.159 --> 00:40:46.000
It's actually it's it's confidence in God, not in myself.
00:40:46.159 --> 00:40:49.920
You know, it's kind of the the what what he says at the meeting.
00:40:50.159 --> 00:40:53.280
Any success I have is more his than than mine.
00:40:53.519 --> 00:40:55.440
Yeah, they talk a lot about that in the tent step.
00:40:55.519 --> 00:40:55.760
Yeah.
00:40:56.000 --> 00:41:04.880
And and like you said there, it's it was I I was thinking well, first time, the second time I got sober, I thought, listen, if I could just gain my self-confidence as I had as a youth.
00:41:05.039 --> 00:41:06.639
Yeah, then I got drunk, da da da.
00:41:07.199 --> 00:41:15.280
And then I wound up reading somewhere in the step book this time in the years in there, but I was it says how self-confidence was an house absolute liability.
00:41:15.519 --> 00:41:16.400
Total liability.
00:41:16.639 --> 00:41:17.920
We're trying to get rid of self here.
00:41:18.159 --> 00:41:18.639
Self is the problem.
00:41:19.039 --> 00:41:21.199
Well, I'm trying to build up a self in ANA.
00:41:21.519 --> 00:41:23.280
A lot of people are building up selves in AA.
00:41:23.679 --> 00:41:28.639
And it's you know, and now that's why they have these purging moments where they have these drops.
00:41:28.719 --> 00:41:28.800
Yeah.
00:41:30.480 --> 00:41:34.000
Build me up, up, up, and then I just fly away to the bar.
00:41:34.800 --> 00:41:35.519
I do that myself.
00:41:35.599 --> 00:41:36.880
I mean, I do that is my spiritual.
00:41:37.280 --> 00:41:43.440
I mean, I've had spiritual awakenings, I'm running, I'm doing great, and then all of a sudden they say what's the same, you can't help but to congratulate yourself.
00:41:43.760 --> 00:41:47.519
You know, it's like, oh, I'm doing so well, you know, until I'm not.
00:41:47.679 --> 00:42:05.840
Um so that what you shared there too was really good on the uh, and people think, okay, so this is I don't really like when people say I got struck sober or I was tricked into it, or that I I mean it just this sponsor made me there's a lot of lack of responsibility in that.
00:42:05.920 --> 00:42:11.280
And what happens is once back to the responsibility, spirituality, or synonymous.
00:42:11.519 --> 00:42:13.760
You know, you can't really do a tenth step.
00:42:13.920 --> 00:42:20.639
I mean, and I know I'm jumping ahead and have the spiritual accent when there's something wrong, it has to do with me and nothing outside me.
00:42:20.719 --> 00:42:22.480
It's my connection with God is the problem.
00:42:22.639 --> 00:42:24.800
It's always the problem with me, is the connection with God.
00:42:24.880 --> 00:42:28.480
When I had that bright light experience, God showed me this is who I am.
00:42:28.719 --> 00:42:30.159
I mean, listen, man, I didn't have nothing.
00:42:30.239 --> 00:42:31.360
I'm walking down the street.
00:42:31.519 --> 00:42:35.199
I didn't have a car, I'm walking out, and I was like the happiest man on the planet.
00:42:35.280 --> 00:42:36.400
I was full of joy and love.
00:42:36.480 --> 00:42:40.880
I was ecstatic with every minute was just overjoying like bliss.
00:42:41.039 --> 00:42:41.280
Okay.
00:42:42.000 --> 00:42:43.519
And that was that's reality.
00:42:43.679 --> 00:42:44.320
That's the truth.
00:42:44.480 --> 00:42:46.480
What I'm living is where I want to live.
00:42:46.639 --> 00:42:51.920
Now, you know, and and and I gotta be grown up enough to know, hey, listen, I'm where I'm at because of where I want to be.
00:42:52.000 --> 00:43:03.360
I don't want to be that close to God, or because God is all loving, all joy, all it talks about in 132, or what it talks about in another part, but we're sure God's will for us is to be happy, joyous, and free.
00:43:03.519 --> 00:43:04.320
That's God's will.
00:43:04.559 --> 00:43:05.519
Talking about what his will is.
00:43:05.599 --> 00:43:11.840
But anyway, here it goes into but now it appears there is some um I'm gonna have to brighten it up a little bit.
00:43:12.079 --> 00:43:18.960
Um now it appears all by himself, in light of his own searches, that he needs to require a quality of willingness.
00:43:19.119 --> 00:43:23.119
When he acquires willingness, he is the only one that can make a decision to exert himself.
00:43:23.280 --> 00:43:25.360
Trying to do this is an act of his own will.
00:43:25.519 --> 00:43:32.320
All 12 steps require sustained and personal exertion to conform to these principles, and so he trusts in God's will.
00:43:32.480 --> 00:43:35.519
This is uh in the third step in the step book.
00:43:35.599 --> 00:43:39.840
That's page 40 in the step book where it talks about an act of your own will.
00:43:40.000 --> 00:43:42.000
Here we are back exactly what you said.
00:43:42.079 --> 00:43:44.079
This is my response, my decision.
00:43:44.400 --> 00:43:59.760
My decision, I used to say the decision, like we'd be we'd go in the hood, and uh you know, some nights you you know, and I I've done the other things where we're robbery, whatever, but you know, when you were like kind of worried whether you're gonna get caught or whatever, but when you made a decision.
00:44:00.159 --> 00:44:02.320
Decision, I'm gonna get me my drugs.
00:44:02.639 --> 00:44:07.199
Whether I die, go to print, I don't care, all of a sudden there's not any fear.
00:44:07.360 --> 00:44:09.679
It actually, a decision actually brings that about.
00:44:09.760 --> 00:44:14.320
When you're you're all in, it's that being half on and half off thing.
00:44:14.400 --> 00:44:15.599
That's where the edgy, right?
00:44:15.679 --> 00:44:17.920
Like I haven't quite made a decision to be an A.
00:44:18.000 --> 00:44:21.679
That's where they come up with what they what they say of white knuckle sobriety.
00:44:22.000 --> 00:44:24.320
White knuckle sobriety is somebody who hasn't made a decision.
00:44:24.400 --> 00:44:26.800
They're kind of like there, but they're not willing to do this.
00:44:26.960 --> 00:44:28.800
The God thing go down that path.
00:44:28.880 --> 00:44:30.079
So they're like, I'm here.
00:44:30.320 --> 00:44:34.000
Yeah, I always think about being on an island and it's like burn the boat.
00:44:34.079 --> 00:44:41.440
You know, if there's no way to get back to land, you're gonna learn how to grow vegetables, do whatever you gotta do, because there's no way back to land.
00:44:41.519 --> 00:44:44.639
If you still have the boat and you could jump on the boat and go back, you might not.
00:44:44.800 --> 00:44:47.679
I mean, it's a decision on the level, no matter what.
00:44:48.239 --> 00:44:51.199
I'm going with God, I'm going this way, whatever it takes.
00:44:51.440 --> 00:44:52.480
Absolutely, absolutely.
00:44:52.639 --> 00:44:56.400
Oh, in there, can you read back to the book?
00:44:56.639 --> 00:44:58.639
One more thing, past 63.
00:44:59.199 --> 00:45:05.519
Because we read, we're gonna read up to where we get into launch into a four-step, which is what we'll get into next week.
00:45:05.599 --> 00:45:17.039
But uh just that last part, because you read the part This was only a beginning, though if honestly and humbly made an effect, sometimes a very great one one will be felt at once.
00:45:17.280 --> 00:45:23.760
Next, we launched out on a course of rigorous action, the first step of which is a personal house cleaning.
00:45:24.000 --> 00:45:24.880
Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly.
00:45:25.679 --> 00:45:28.480
Well, pretty much, but you were a little further up from there.
00:45:29.039 --> 00:45:30.239
Um I read all that.
00:45:30.639 --> 00:45:34.800
We found a desirable spiritual step with understanding persons such as a wife.
00:45:34.960 --> 00:45:35.840
Can you read from there?
00:45:36.559 --> 00:45:37.280
Just from there.
00:45:38.320 --> 00:45:50.480
We found it very desirable to take this spiritual step with an understanding person, such as our wife, best friend, or spiritual advisor, but it's better to meet God alone than with one that might understand.
00:45:50.880 --> 00:45:52.480
The wording's optional.
00:45:54.320 --> 00:45:55.199
Might not understand.
00:45:55.519 --> 00:45:56.320
Might not understand.
00:45:56.480 --> 00:45:57.039
Oh, okay.
00:45:57.199 --> 00:46:03.920
Uh the wording was, of course, quite optional so long as we express the idea, voicing it without reservation.
00:46:04.320 --> 00:46:11.280
This was only a beginning, though honestly and humbly made, in effect, sometimes a very great one, was felt at once.
00:46:11.760 --> 00:46:25.199
Big because only reason why you wouldn't think that you'd ever be able to make a third step if you didn't have like your sponsor or somebody to hold your hand says, listen, the the the characteristics of it are more the sincerity, yes, the without reservation.
00:46:25.360 --> 00:46:29.039
It's almost like when they talk about fourth step, they talk about the thoroughness, is the most important part.
00:46:29.119 --> 00:46:30.400
Now do all the outside stuff.
00:46:30.480 --> 00:46:31.599
We get caught up in the outside stuff.
00:46:31.679 --> 00:46:33.360
I need somebody to hold my hand and do the third step.
00:46:33.440 --> 00:46:37.280
Listen, no, it's be better meet God alone than somebody who would misunderstand.
00:46:37.440 --> 00:46:39.519
I mean, nobody was there with me when I made my third step.
00:46:39.599 --> 00:46:40.800
I it was a heart thing.
00:46:40.960 --> 00:46:43.760
God, I can't live this anymore, I can't be this thing anymore.
00:46:44.000 --> 00:46:45.840
Take me, do whatever you gotta do with me.
00:46:46.000 --> 00:46:46.320
Boom.
00:46:46.400 --> 00:46:47.360
That was my third step.
00:46:47.519 --> 00:46:56.960
So when you get to that place and then it says without reservation, and it says, uh, what it all sus out, sometimes a big feeling will be felt at once.
00:46:57.039 --> 00:46:58.400
It's already talking about the feeling.
00:46:58.480 --> 00:47:02.239
It's already talking about even before that, it was already talking about shifting consciousness.
00:47:02.320 --> 00:47:04.320
We're we're experiencing God's consciousness.
00:47:04.400 --> 00:47:06.159
This is all the way back in the third step.
00:47:06.400 --> 00:47:12.480
You know, we're gonna get into the fourth step, it's gonna be talking about prayer and getting in with God, and then it's gonna be in the fifth step, we're gonna have another spiritual experience.
00:47:12.559 --> 00:47:16.079
And all the spiritual experiences seem to happen, just so you know.
00:47:16.320 --> 00:47:19.440
One moment of clarity, three, page 63.
00:47:19.599 --> 00:47:23.119
When we get into 75, it's gonna be page, uh, that's gonna be the fifth step.
00:47:23.280 --> 00:47:24.800
Seventh step is psychic change.
00:47:24.960 --> 00:47:27.119
Every odd step is a spiritual experience.
00:47:27.280 --> 00:47:36.079
The work steps and the kind of mulling and the grinding or the the maybe the uh resistance getting ready, boom, and then you get the lift.
00:47:36.239 --> 00:47:38.960
And the lift brings you into the next step because now you got a lift.
00:47:39.039 --> 00:47:42.719
So this is paying off, this is working, this is happening, something's happening here.
00:47:42.800 --> 00:47:43.840
I'm going down the right path.
00:47:43.920 --> 00:47:45.360
God's letting you know you're coming.
00:47:45.519 --> 00:47:48.480
I'm you're I'm you've called, I'm answering.
00:47:48.639 --> 00:47:52.400
It's funny because it's not not soon after you call, he always answers.
00:47:52.559 --> 00:47:57.119
It's not when you get into we'll get into, and this is jumping ahead a little bit, but 72 and then get a 75.
00:47:57.199 --> 00:48:04.639
In the fifth step, when they say, why you were doing it and you reach out to God, and I could see why you're not so afraid to look at yourself after the third step.
00:48:04.800 --> 00:48:06.239
I remember getting the that feeling.
00:48:06.400 --> 00:48:11.519
I remember uh it's it's corny, whatever, the butterfly going by and the tears are coming.
00:48:11.679 --> 00:48:13.360
I hadn't felt that in so long.
00:48:13.519 --> 00:48:19.199
I had been in such a dark place, incomprehensible demoralization for so long.
00:48:19.280 --> 00:48:36.159
I remember taking that third step and having that feeling of like the the world wasn't so um like it like it was a friendly place, like the feeling of love and lightness and hope and all that came in with that third step.
00:48:36.400 --> 00:48:45.440
So, you know, that it that is a uh a boost to get ready to what I'm gonna some unpalatable truths I'm gonna swallow in the fourth step.
00:48:45.760 --> 00:48:46.079
Exactly.
00:48:46.239 --> 00:48:49.039
And God does not make too hard terms for those that earnestly seek them.
00:48:49.199 --> 00:48:50.239
It says a couple times.
00:48:50.400 --> 00:48:50.559
Yeah.
00:48:50.719 --> 00:48:58.719
This earn says who seeks them, then it says earnestly, we believe he's there, all all roomy, all never forbidding, always welcoming.
00:48:58.880 --> 00:48:59.519
God's there.
00:48:59.679 --> 00:49:00.880
It's am I there?
00:49:00.960 --> 00:49:02.400
I have I made a decision.
00:49:02.480 --> 00:49:04.480
That's the big thing, that's the launch pad.
00:49:04.800 --> 00:49:06.960
So I think we said enough on the third trap.
00:49:07.119 --> 00:49:07.840
We can always repeat.
00:49:08.559 --> 00:49:09.199
Come back next week.
00:49:09.599 --> 00:49:12.639
We're gonna come back, share, like, uh, subscribe.
00:49:12.800 --> 00:49:14.480
Listen, also, you got any questions?
00:49:14.800 --> 00:49:19.840
Listen, you want to, you know, tell me you don't believe, you know, da da da da, whatever.
00:49:20.000 --> 00:49:20.800
Go back and forth.
00:49:20.880 --> 00:49:23.039
I I'm willing to answer any questions.
00:49:23.199 --> 00:49:30.400
Uh and uh I want people, I listen, one of the big reasons why we're doing this, we want people to get sober and have a transformation.
00:49:30.480 --> 00:49:31.679
We want people to come through God.
00:49:32.159 --> 00:49:34.880
We have a heart for God and we want you to have a heart for God.
00:49:35.119 --> 00:49:35.840
Yeah, exactly.
00:49:36.000 --> 00:49:38.239
I was thinking that we're bringing sexy back.
00:49:38.400 --> 00:49:41.920
It's like bringing God back, God back in our meetings.
00:49:42.079 --> 00:49:43.280
It's the most exciting part.
00:49:43.679 --> 00:49:44.960
That's the best part of the whole thing.
00:49:45.039 --> 00:49:47.599
Don't look, don't look, keep coming with us, all right?
00:49:47.760 --> 00:49:48.320
Yeah, exactly.
00:49:48.480 --> 00:49:49.360
A loving God.
00:49:49.440 --> 00:49:49.840
Thank you.
00:49:50.000 --> 00:49:50.320
All right.
00:49:50.719 --> 00:49:51.519
See you next week.