WEBVTT
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Part two, chapter five, Section three of Chance by Joseph Conrad.
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This LibriVox recording is in the public domain. Read by
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Peter Dan Chance, Part two, chapter five, section three. This
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was as near as she came to a confession, remarked
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Marlowe in a changed tone. The confession I mean of
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that walk to the top of the quarry which she
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reproached herself with so bitterly, And he made of it
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what his fancy suggested. It could not possibly be a
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just notion. The cab stopped alongside the ship, and they
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got out in the manner described by the sensitive Franklin.
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I don't know if they suspected each other's sanity at
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the end of that drive, but that is possible. We
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all seem a little mad to each other. An excellent
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arrangement for the bulk of humanity, which finds in it
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an easy motive of forgiveness. Flora crossed the quarter deck
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with a rapidity born of apprehension. It had grown unbearable.
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She wanted this business over. She was thankful on looking
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back to see he was following her. If he bolts away,
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she thought that I shall know that I am of
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no account, Indeed, that no one loves me, that words
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and actions and protestations and everything in the world is false,
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and I shall jump on to the dock that at
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least won't lie well. I don't know if it had
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come to that, she would have been most likely fished out,
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what with her natural want of luck and the good
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many people on the quay and on board, and just
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where the Ferndale was moored, there hung on a wall,
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I know the berth, a coil of line, a pole,
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and a life boy kept there on purpose to save
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people who dumble into the dock. It's not so easy
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to get away from life's betrayals as she thought. However,
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it did not come to that. He followed her with
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his quick gliding walk. Mister Smith, the liberated convict de Baryl,
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passed off the solid earth for the last time, vanished
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for ever. And there was mister Smith, added to that
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world of waters which harbored so many queer fishes, an
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old gentleman and a silk hat. Darting wary glances, he followed.
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Because mere existence has its claims, which are obeyed mechanically,
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may have no doubt. He presented a respectable figure father
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in law. Nothing more respectable but he carried in his
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heart the confused pain of dismay and affection, of involuntary
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repulsion and pity, very much like his daughter. Only in
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addition he felt a furious jealousy of the man he
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was going to see. A residue of egoism remains in
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every affection, even paternal, and this man, in the seclusion
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of his prison, had thought himself into such a sense
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of ownership of that single human being he had to
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think about, as may well be inconceivable to us who
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have not had to serve a long and wickedly unjust
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sentence of penal servitude. She was positively the only thing,
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one point where his thoughts found a resting place. For years.
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She was the only outlet for his imagination. He had
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not much of that faculty, to be sure, but there
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was in it the force of concentration. He felt outraged,
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and perhaps it was an absurdity on his part. But
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I venture to suggest, rather in degree than of kind,
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I have a notion that no usual normal father is
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pleased at parting with his daughter. No, not even when
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he rationally appreciates Jane being taken off his hands, or
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perhaps is able to exalt at an excellent match at bottom,
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quite deep down down in the dark. In some cases
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only by digging there is to be found a certain
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repugnance with mothers. Of course, it is different. Women are
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more loyal not to each other, but to their common femininity,
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which they behold triumphant with a secret and proud satisfaction.
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The circumstances of that match added to mister Smith's indians,
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And if he followed his daughter into that ship's cabin,
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it was as if into a house of disgrace, And
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only because he was still bewildered by the suddenness of
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the thing, his will, so long lying fallow, was overborne
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by her determination and by a vague fear of that
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regained liberty. You will be glad to hear that, Anthony,
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though he did shirk the welcome on the key, behaved
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admirably with the simplicity of a man who has no
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small meannesses and makes no mean reservations. His eyes did
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not flinch, and his tongue did not falter. He was,
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as I have it on the best authority, admirable in
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his earnestness, in his sincerity, and also in his restraint.
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He was perfect. Nevertheless, the vital force of his unknown individuality.
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Addressing him so familiarly was enough to fluster mister Smith.
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Flora saw her father trembling in all his axiguous length,
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though he held himself stiffer than ever, if that was possible.
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He muttered a little, and at last managed to utter,
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not loud, of course, but very distinctly. I am here
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under protest. The corners of his mouth sunk disparagingly. His
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eyes stony. I am here under protest. I have been
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locked up by a conspiracy. I. He raised his hands
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to his forehead. His silk hat was on the table,
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rim upwards. He had put it there with a despairing
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gesture as he came in. He raised his hands to
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his forehead. It seems to me unfair, I he broke
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off again. Anthony looked at Flora, who stood by the
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side of her father. Well, sir, you will soon get
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used to me. Surely, you and she must have had
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enough of sure people, and they confounded half and half
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ways to last you both for a lifetime. A particularly
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merciful that they are, too, you ask Flora, I'm alluding
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to my own sister, her best friend, and not a
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bad woman either. As they go, the captain of the
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Ferndale checked himself. Lucky thing, I was there to step in.
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I want you to make yourself at home, And before
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long the faded stare of the great Debaryl silenced Anthony
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by its inexpressive fixity. He signaled with his eyes to
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Flora towards the door of the stateroom fitted specially to
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receive mister Smith the free man. She seized the freeman's
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hat off the table and took him caressingly under the arm. Yes,
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this is home. Come and see your room, Papa. Anthony
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himself threw open the door, and Flora took care to
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shut it carefully behind herself and her father see she began,
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but desisted because it was clear that he would look
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at none of the contrivances for his comfort. She herself
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had hardly seen them before. He was looking only at
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the new carpet, and she waited till he should raise
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his eyes. He didn't do that, but spoke in his
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usual voice. So this is your husband that and I
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lock up, Papa. What is the good of harping on that?
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She remonstrated, No, louder, he's kind, and you went and
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married him so that he should be kind. To me?
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Is that it? How did you know that I wanted
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anybody to be kind to me? How strange you are,
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she said thoughtfully. It's hard for a man who has
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gone through what I have gone through to feel like
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other people. Has that occurred to you? He looked up
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at last, missus Anthony. I can't bear the sight of
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the fellow. She met his eyes without flinching, and he added,
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you want to go to him? Now? His mild, automatic
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manner seemed the effect of tremendous self restraint, and yet
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she remembered him always like that. She felt cold all over. Why,
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of course I must go to him, she said, with
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a slight start. He nesched his teeth at her, and
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she went out. Anthony had not moved from the spot
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his hands was resting on the table. She went up
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to him, stopped, then deliberately moved still closer. Thank you, Roderick.
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You needn't thank me, he murmured, as I who No,
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Perhaps I needn't you do what you like? But you
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are doing it well. He sighed, then hardly above a
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whisper because they were near the stateroom door. Upset eh,
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She made no sign, no sound of any kind. The
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thorough falseness of the position weighed on them both, But
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he was the braver of the two. I dare say,
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at first, did you think of telling him you were happy?
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He never asked me. She smiled faintly at him. She
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was disappointed by his quietness. I did not say more
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than I was absolutely obliged to say of myself. She
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was beginning to be irritated with this man A little.
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I told him I had been very lucky, she said,
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suddenly despondent, missing Anthony's masterful manner. That's something iarbitry and tender,
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which after the first scare she had accustomed herself to
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look forward to with pleasurable apprehension. He was contemplating her
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rather blankly. She had not taken off her outdoor things, hats, gloves.
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She was like a caller, and she had a movement
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suggesting the end of a not very satisfactory business call.
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Perhaps it would be just as well if we went
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ashore time. Yet he gave her a glimpse of his
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unconstrained self in the low vehement U dare, which sprang
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to his lips and out of them in a most
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menacing inflection. You dare, what's the matter now. These last
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words were shot out not at her, but at some
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target behind her back. Looking over a shoulder, she saw
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the bald head with black bunches of hair of the
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congested and devoted Franklin. He had his cap in his hand,
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gazing sentimentally from the saloon doorway with his lobster eyes.
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He was heard from a distance, in a tone of
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injured innocence, reporting that the birth master was alongside, and
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that he wanted to move the ship into the basin
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before the crew came on board. His captain growled, well,
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let him, and waved away the ulcerated and pathetic soul
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behind these prominent eyes which lingered on the offensive woman
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while the mate backed out slowly. Anthony turned to Flora.
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You could not have meant it. You're as straight as
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they make them. I'm trying to be, then, don't joke
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in that way. Think of what would become of me.
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Oh yes, I forgot No, I didn't mean it. It
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wasn't a joke. It was forgetfulness. You wouldn't have been wrong.
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I couldn't have gone. I am too tired. He saw
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she was swaying where she stood, and restrained himself violently
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from taking her into his arms, his frame trembling with fear,
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as though he had been tempted to an act of
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unparallel treachery. He stepped aside, and, lowering his eyes, pointed
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to the door of the stern cabin. It was only
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after she passed by him he looked up, and thus
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he did not see the angry glance she gave him
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before she moved on. He looked after her. She tottered
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slightly just before reaching the door and flung it to
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behind her. Nervously, Anthony, he had felt this crash as
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if the door had been slammed inside his very breast,
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stood for a moment without moving, and then shouted for
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Missus Brown. This was the steward's wife, his lucky inspiration
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to make Flora comfortable. Missus Brown, Missus Brown. At last
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she appeared from somewhere. Missus Anthony has come on board,
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just gone into the cabin. Hadn't you better see if
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you can be of any assistance? Yes, sir, And again
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he was alone with the situation he had created in
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the hardihood and inexperience of his heart. He thought he
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had better go on deck. In fact, he ought to
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have been there before. At any rate, it would be
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the usual thing for him to be on deck. But
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a sound of muttering and a faint thud somewhere near
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by rested his attention. They proceeded from mister Smith's room.
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He perceived it was very extraordinary. He's talking to himself,
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he thought. He seems to be thumping the bulkhead with
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his fists or his head. Anthony's eyes grew big with
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wonder while he listened to these noises. He became so
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attentive that he did not notice Missus Brown till she
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actually stopped before him for a moment to say, Missus
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Anthony doesn't want any assistance, sir. End of Part two,
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Chapter five, Section three,
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Part two, chapter five, Section three of Chance by Joseph Conrad.
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This LibriVox recording is in the public domain. Read by
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Peter Dan Chance, Part two, chapter five, section three. This
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was as near as she came to a confession, remarked
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Marlowe in a changed tone. The confession I mean of
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that walk to the top of the quarry which she
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reproached herself with so bitterly, And he made of it
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what his fancy suggested. It could not possibly be a
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just notion. The cab stopped alongside the ship, and they
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got out in the manner described by the sensitive Franklin.
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I don't know if they suspected each other's sanity at
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the end of that drive, but that is possible. We
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all seem a little mad to each other. An excellent
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arrangement for the bulk of humanity, which finds in it
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an easy motive of forgiveness. Flora crossed the quarter deck
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with a rapidity born of apprehension. It had grown unbearable.
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She wanted this business over. She was thankful on looking
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back to see he was following her. If he bolts away,
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she thought that I shall know that I am of
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no account, Indeed, that no one loves me, that words
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and actions and protestations and everything in the world is false,
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and I shall jump on to the dock that at
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least won't lie well. I don't know if it had
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come to that, she would have been most likely fished out,
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what with her natural want of luck and the good
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many people on the quay and on board, and just
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where the Ferndale was moored, there hung on a wall,
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I know the berth, a coil of line, a pole,
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and a life boy kept there on purpose to save
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people who dumble into the dock. It's not so easy
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to get away from life's betrayals as she thought. However,
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it did not come to that. He followed her with
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his quick gliding walk. Mister Smith, the liberated convict de Baryl,
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passed off the solid earth for the last time, vanished
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for ever. And there was mister Smith, added to that
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world of waters which harbored so many queer fishes, an
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old gentleman and a silk hat. Darting wary glances, he followed.
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Because mere existence has its claims, which are obeyed mechanically,
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may have no doubt. He presented a respectable figure father
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in law. Nothing more respectable but he carried in his
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heart the confused pain of dismay and affection, of involuntary
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repulsion and pity, very much like his daughter. Only in
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addition he felt a furious jealousy of the man he
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was going to see. A residue of egoism remains in
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every affection, even paternal, and this man, in the seclusion
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of his prison, had thought himself into such a sense
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of ownership of that single human being he had to
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think about, as may well be inconceivable to us who
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have not had to serve a long and wickedly unjust
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sentence of penal servitude. She was positively the only thing,
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one point where his thoughts found a resting place. For years.
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She was the only outlet for his imagination. He had
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not much of that faculty, to be sure, but there
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was in it the force of concentration. He felt outraged,
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and perhaps it was an absurdity on his part. But
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I venture to suggest, rather in degree than of kind,
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I have a notion that no usual normal father is
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pleased at parting with his daughter. No, not even when
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he rationally appreciates Jane being taken off his hands, or
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perhaps is able to exalt at an excellent match at bottom,
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quite deep down down in the dark. In some cases
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only by digging there is to be found a certain
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repugnance with mothers. Of course, it is different. Women are
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more loyal not to each other, but to their common femininity,
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which they behold triumphant with a secret and proud satisfaction.
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The circumstances of that match added to mister Smith's indians,
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And if he followed his daughter into that ship's cabin,
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it was as if into a house of disgrace, And
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only because he was still bewildered by the suddenness of
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the thing, his will, so long lying fallow, was overborne
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by her determination and by a vague fear of that
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regained liberty. You will be glad to hear that, Anthony,
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though he did shirk the welcome on the key, behaved
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admirably with the simplicity of a man who has no
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small meannesses and makes no mean reservations. His eyes did
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not flinch, and his tongue did not falter. He was,
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as I have it on the best authority, admirable in
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his earnestness, in his sincerity, and also in his restraint.
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He was perfect. Nevertheless, the vital force of his unknown individuality.
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Addressing him so familiarly was enough to fluster mister Smith.
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Flora saw her father trembling in all his axiguous length,
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though he held himself stiffer than ever, if that was possible.
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He muttered a little, and at last managed to utter,
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not loud, of course, but very distinctly. I am here
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under protest. The corners of his mouth sunk disparagingly. His
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eyes stony. I am here under protest. I have been
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locked up by a conspiracy. I. He raised his hands
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to his forehead. His silk hat was on the table,
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rim upwards. He had put it there with a despairing
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gesture as he came in. He raised his hands to
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his forehead. It seems to me unfair, I he broke
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off again. Anthony looked at Flora, who stood by the
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side of her father. Well, sir, you will soon get
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used to me. Surely, you and she must have had
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enough of sure people, and they confounded half and half
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ways to last you both for a lifetime. A particularly
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merciful that they are, too, you ask Flora, I'm alluding
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to my own sister, her best friend, and not a
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bad woman either. As they go, the captain of the
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Ferndale checked himself. Lucky thing, I was there to step in.
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I want you to make yourself at home, And before
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long the faded stare of the great Debaryl silenced Anthony
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by its inexpressive fixity. He signaled with his eyes to
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Flora towards the door of the stateroom fitted specially to
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receive mister Smith the free man. She seized the freeman's
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hat off the table and took him caressingly under the arm. Yes,
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this is home. Come and see your room, Papa. Anthony
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himself threw open the door, and Flora took care to
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shut it carefully behind herself and her father see she began,
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but desisted because it was clear that he would look
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at none of the contrivances for his comfort. She herself
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had hardly seen them before. He was looking only at
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the new carpet, and she waited till he should raise
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his eyes. He didn't do that, but spoke in his
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usual voice. So this is your husband that and I
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lock up, Papa. What is the good of harping on that?
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She remonstrated, No, louder, he's kind, and you went and
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married him so that he should be kind. To me?
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Is that it? How did you know that I wanted
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anybody to be kind to me? How strange you are,
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she said thoughtfully. It's hard for a man who has
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gone through what I have gone through to feel like
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other people. Has that occurred to you? He looked up
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at last, missus Anthony. I can't bear the sight of
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the fellow. She met his eyes without flinching, and he added,
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you want to go to him? Now? His mild, automatic
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manner seemed the effect of tremendous self restraint, and yet
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she remembered him always like that. She felt cold all over. Why,
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of course I must go to him, she said, with
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a slight start. He nesched his teeth at her, and
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she went out. Anthony had not moved from the spot
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his hands was resting on the table. She went up
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to him, stopped, then deliberately moved still closer. Thank you, Roderick.
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You needn't thank me, he murmured, as I who No,
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Perhaps I needn't you do what you like? But you
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are doing it well. He sighed, then hardly above a
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whisper because they were near the stateroom door. Upset eh,
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She made no sign, no sound of any kind. The
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thorough falseness of the position weighed on them both, But
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he was the braver of the two. I dare say,
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at first, did you think of telling him you were happy?
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He never asked me. She smiled faintly at him. She
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was disappointed by his quietness. I did not say more
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than I was absolutely obliged to say of myself. She
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was beginning to be irritated with this man A little.
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I told him I had been very lucky, she said,
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suddenly despondent, missing Anthony's masterful manner. That's something iarbitry and tender,
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which after the first scare she had accustomed herself to
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look forward to with pleasurable apprehension. He was contemplating her
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rather blankly. She had not taken off her outdoor things, hats, gloves.
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She was like a caller, and she had a movement
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suggesting the end of a not very satisfactory business call.
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Perhaps it would be just as well if we went
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ashore time. Yet he gave her a glimpse of his
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unconstrained self in the low vehement U dare, which sprang
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to his lips and out of them in a most
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menacing inflection. You dare, what's the matter now. These last
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words were shot out not at her, but at some
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target behind her back. Looking over a shoulder, she saw
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the bald head with black bunches of hair of the
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congested and devoted Franklin. He had his cap in his hand,
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gazing sentimentally from the saloon doorway with his lobster eyes.
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He was heard from a distance, in a tone of
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injured innocence, reporting that the birth master was alongside, and
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that he wanted to move the ship into the basin
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before the crew came on board. His captain growled, well,
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let him, and waved away the ulcerated and pathetic soul
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behind these prominent eyes which lingered on the offensive woman
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while the mate backed out slowly. Anthony turned to Flora.
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You could not have meant it. You're as straight as
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they make them. I'm trying to be, then, don't joke
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in that way. Think of what would become of me.
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Oh yes, I forgot No, I didn't mean it. It
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wasn't a joke. It was forgetfulness. You wouldn't have been wrong.
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I couldn't have gone. I am too tired. He saw
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she was swaying where she stood, and restrained himself violently
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from taking her into his arms, his frame trembling with fear,
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as though he had been tempted to an act of
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unparallel treachery. He stepped aside, and, lowering his eyes, pointed
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to the door of the stern cabin. It was only
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after she passed by him he looked up, and thus
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he did not see the angry glance she gave him
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before she moved on. He looked after her. She tottered
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slightly just before reaching the door and flung it to
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behind her. Nervously, Anthony, he had felt this crash as
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if the door had been slammed inside his very breast,
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stood for a moment without moving, and then shouted for
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Missus Brown. This was the steward's wife, his lucky inspiration
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to make Flora comfortable. Missus Brown, Missus Brown. At last
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she appeared from somewhere. Missus Anthony has come on board,
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just gone into the cabin. Hadn't you better see if
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you can be of any assistance? Yes, sir, And again
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he was alone with the situation he had created in
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the hardihood and inexperience of his heart. He thought he
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had better go on deck. In fact, he ought to
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have been there before. At any rate, it would be
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the usual thing for him to be on deck. But
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a sound of muttering and a faint thud somewhere near
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by rested his attention. They proceeded from mister Smith's room.
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He perceived it was very extraordinary. He's talking to himself,
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he thought. He seems to be thumping the bulkhead with
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his fists or his head. Anthony's eyes grew big with
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wonder while he listened to these noises. He became so
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attentive that he did not notice Missus Brown till she
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actually stopped before him for a moment to say, Missus
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Anthony doesn't want any assistance, sir. End of Part two,
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Chapter five, Section three,
