Parisian Romances and Language Mastery with Maria Lloyd

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Hey everyone, welcome back to the podcast International Interludes, love and Adventures Abroad.
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So we have a wonderful guest on today.
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Her name is Maria Lloyd and I'm super happy to have her on here, and so I'm going to hand it over to her to introduce herself and tell us a little bit about who she is.
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Yes, absolutely.
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Thank you so so much for inviting me to be here.
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I am so thrilled about this.
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So my name is Maria Lloyd and I am the owner of a marketing firm named Opens Clicks Cash.
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I'm also the author of a book titled Words Are Wealth, and I'm a globalist.
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I'm a wanderlust.
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I love, love, love traveling the world.
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I love learning new cultures, new languages even, and so I'm just super pumped to be here today.
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So thank you so much for the invitation.
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Okay, that's a new one Globalist, yes, globalist, yes, our list.
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Uh, you mentioned learning new cultures and new languages so tell us, what do you speak?
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what else do you speak besides english?
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So I speak french, um, so I'm at b2 for those of us, you know, those of us who are familiar with the grading of different languages, or the different levels, I guess I should say, of how people grade you in terms of your comprehension.
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I speak, read and write in B2.
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My goal, of course, I think technically, fluency is once you reach C, and C is actually the highest tier when you're learning a language.
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So right now I'm at like advanced intermediate, and then once I started hitting the C level in the language, then I would officially, I will officially be deemed fluent.
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But here's the interesting thing about language learning that I have had to come to terms with over the past couple of years, and that is fluency means different things to different people.
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So for me, although I am not fluent as it relates to how language is graded or how this language is graded and tested, but I'm fluent in the sense that when I am speaking to a French person, a French speaking person, I'm sorry, and when they're speaking to me, we understand each other.
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So I jokingly say that my French sometimes can be caveman French, because I will forget how to conjugate based on the tense of the verb, but they still understand what I'm saying.
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Like I may be speaking in present tense, the whole conversation, even though I'm making reference to something in the past.
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I do that sometimes just because I forget um, but they understand.
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So we understand each other and to that extent there is fluency um, but that makes sense because I think when it comes to Spanish, you have Spanish speakers that can speak very well, but when it comes to class and they have to do the technical side of it, you know it may, they may not get a high grade.
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So, like you said, I think it's very subjective.
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So how did you learn French?
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Did you grow up speaking it?
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Did you learn it as you were an adult?
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Where did it start?
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So, honestly, my journey literally started like I started seriously studying the language in January of 2022.
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So I mean, I just started, um.
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But what's interesting is that, because I studied Spanish throughout high school and then I took two years of Spanish in college, that really gave me the foundation and the base for French, because, of course, these are Latin languages and so there are a lot of similarities, even in terms of certain words that are pronounced or spelled in Spanish are pronounced and spelled the same way in French.
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So my fundamental understanding of Spanish though I would not dare say I'm fluent in Spanish, but somehow my brain the brain is so powerful it retained a lot of that information I learned growing up and going to college, and so that just accelerated my understanding of French.
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Now, of course, what also accelerated my understanding of French is living in Paris, which I do during the summer months, and then dating French-speaking people.
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So I know we're going to tap into the dating conversation here, but honestly, I will say that absolutely accelerated my speed, at which I was able to start comprehending and speaking the language in a conversational way, because I didn't want to be on a date with someone and then I have to keep whipping out Google Translate.
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That just gets old after a while, so I was really highly motivated to learn the language very seriously once I started spending my summers in Paris.
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So yeah, but I was started two years ago, so I commend you Absolutely because I had a very difficult time In Senegal and you know I was like, well, we're just gonna hire a guide For Togo and Benin, because I know absolutely Nothing.
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Maybe Bonjour and oui, as far as the extent as we go, um, and so that's very, very funny, um, and my tour guide now even still wants to talk to me after the tour is over and I think he gets frustrated that he can't speak english or he thinks that it's not good enough for me and I'm like it's not your first language.
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I don't expect for it to be good, so don't get upset, I understand, and he was like well, do you want to learn French?
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And I was like no.
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And so he's like well, I'm attempting to learn a little bit more English, why don't you attempt?
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And I was like.
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I was like I feel slightly bad because I'm just like I'm not in French speaking countries very often.
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Yeah.
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Not very excited to learn the language.
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But I think from a different perspective of if I were going to Paris often or to these other places.
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It is very difficult literally looking at somebody and not knowing what the other person is saying, even sometimes with Google Translate I use Google Translate and I'll show it to them and sometimes they look at me like I still don't know what you're saying.
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For example, I was in Burkina Faso, which is in West Africa, years ago and they speak French, and so I'm at this restaurant and it was funny and this is why you can't assume that people are going to speak English.
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I'm like, oh, okay, even at the bigger hotels they're going to speak English.
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Yeah, nah, they wasn't doing it either.
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And so we went out to this restaurant and all I all and I say all I wanted was a chicken burger.
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Okay, so I'm like I want a chicken burger and some fries.
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Um, I think they bring it out to me and I I've made a request for something else, and the first time, uh, they removed the chicken and like replaced it with fries, and I was like, no, no, no they brought it back out.
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It was something else that was wrong.
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Finally, the owner, who's not even from America either, or there, but knew how to speak English.
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We finally got the order, and I just always laugh at that story.
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Wow think it is very good for somebody that is frequent frequent in a place that's a different language.
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Um is good, and people are appreciative when you're trying to learn their language as well.
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I heard that in french they think that you know americans, you know, I think they feel some type of way about us acting in english or thinking everybody.
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So I think it's great.
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So since we I mean, let's, we can just hit the dating, uh, now okay, and then we'll switch topics a little bit later, um, but so tell us about your experience dating in paris, or are there other french-speaking countries that you've been to, or mainly your experiences in paris?
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um, so mainly my experience is in Paris, especially when we talk about dating.
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Now, I did visit Switzerland for the first time last year and I will say that that Switzerland is broken up so part of it speaks German, part of the country speaks German, the other part speaks French.
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Right, so I was in Geneva initially and that was a very interesting trip.
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Man, like I don't know, I mean they were feeling it girl, like it was crazy, it's like.
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I mean, like in Paris it's mostly, you know, black men that approach me, but in Switzerland it was wild.
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Like I got so many men of different ethnicities approaching me and I just wasn't there long enough.
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We were only there for, like I think I was in Geneva for like five nights, you know.
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So this was a very quick trip, but it was really shocking and like there was a French guy.
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We went to a restaurant and the owner of the restaurant was this French guy that had been living in Switzerland for some time and I mean he was totally hitting on me and I had no idea because, like he's a white French guy, so I'm not used to men from other cultures like trying to hit on me, but it took my friend who is a French born black woman to tell me she was like you.
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You totally missed it.
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Like he was so into you.
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That's why she was like French men are not that nice Like business owners.
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French business owners are not that pleasant.
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It's not like the U?
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S where you know they feel obligated to kiss your butt and try to do things for you.
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She was like notice, he kept coming back.
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He wanted to engage you in conversation, he wanted to show you pictures.
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She was like I'm telling you this is not typical French, like they don't do stuff like this, and I was just so taken aback because she's right, it went completely.
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I mean to like cement that story even more, just to affirm how clueless I was on Google reviews, because I am a Google review fanatic and I left this long like pleasant review saying, oh you know, the owner of the company was exceptionally kind and treated us with hospitality and like I'm thinking this was just him being a nice business owner and the whole time she was like girl, no, he was absolutely interested and you just weren't giving him anything.
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You didn't.
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I mean, I was pleasant but pleasant, but I didn't.
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You know, I wasn't trying to keep in contact, um, but to answer your question, would you?
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be open to dating men that are not black.
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I absolutely would.
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Um, it's just I literally didn't know.
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The guy was interested, like his way of showing interest is not a way that I'm used to and that's what my friend shout out to Jenny, that's what she, you know, explained to me when we were there.
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She was like you're used to African men, like she was like you got to understand African men are very brave.
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They, you know, they're not ashamed, they will come up to you, they will like, they will engage you.
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She said but you, you need, they're not ashamed, they will come up to you, they will like, they will engage you.
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She said but you, you need to understand that.
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You know, white Frenchmen in particular are a little more subtle.
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They're not going to approach you randomly in the street and ask and tell you how beautiful you are.
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They are going to be a little more discreet.
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And so I just didn't know.
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Now, with that being said, honestly, I was not physically attracted to the guy.
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He was kind, I wouldn't mind staying in touch with him, but I wasn't.
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I didn't really feel a romantic connection Like his.
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I just it wasn't my, he was not my type, not just race related, but just his physique and everything.
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But no, I am definitely open.
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For sure, I've only dated black men, but I am definitely open to dating men of other you know, races, ethnicities and so on and so forth.
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Which is funny, because we went to a restaurant the other day and somebody was like, oh, the waiter is cute, and so I had to do a double take to look at the waiter.
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I did not pay the waiter any attention at all because he was a white guy and that's not what I'm attracted to.
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So I had to be like, oh, let me see what she says.
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And then I said I was like, oh, I'm not really attracted to and know, and she says something about it, but it was funny because I just recognize like who I'm, you know into.
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You know, I much prefer African Caribbean guys.
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I guess you have to be a very special white man for me to just be like, oh my God, he's so cute and like let's go out together, which I think is hilarious.
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But anyway, let's get into your actual dating in Paris.
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So tell us what that has been like.
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And you said something very funny when we were talking.
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You mentioned about guys approaching you or even dating in America versus Paris.
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So tell us about that and then go into your actual dating stories in Paris.
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Okay.
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So yeah, I mean, dating in the US is very interesting.
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For the record, I have been single for about four years now, so it's not like I've had this extensive, prolonged period of being well.
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I mean, I guess depends on subjective, that's very subjective, but I do know people who've been literally single for over 10 plus years.
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That's not my story, right?
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I'm going into.
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This is my fourth year of being single, and so I will say over these you say single, as in not a relationship, but you have been dating, correct?
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Yes, and so over the past four years, I can count literally on one hand, and I dare say on one finger, how many times I have been approached in the US or, and I'll just say, by American men, right?
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Yeah, I mean, I went on a date last year when I returned from Paris.
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There was a gentleman that approached me.
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We had a great conversation, we went on a date.
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It wasn't a fit but other than him, honestly, in the past four years, maybe one other person, but there was not a date now, in contrast, before you get to the contrast part, now that you say that I am like wait, dang, have anybody approached me?
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and if you know I'm you, you actually stay um in paris and I'm kind of in and out to different places.
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But now that you say that I'm like, have I been approached in a while?
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And honestly I may have to answer no as well, but I guess it was a blinder on, because when I do travel I do get approached.
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So you kind of forget that it's not necessarily happening here.
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So you definitely make a good point.
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So, if any of the listeners are listening to this exact time that we're at, tell us what is going on.
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Tell us, have you been approached by american men?
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I'm curious now.
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I'm like curious to know, um, like, what is going on and are people being approached in the states because they say they say this funny thing it was a quote, or me where they talked about oh, you think, or something about like you think you're cute in, you know, overseas, but are you cute, you know, in the states, meaning like are guys coming to you?
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And of course that's not.
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You know attractiveness, you know the beauty is in the eye of the beholder but it is funny in the sense of what we're talking about now.
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So very, very interesting.
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And I'm a facebook person, so I may have to do a facebook post and ask them and we'll have to report back.
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Um, but okay, so not a pro very much in the states, but um, how about paris?
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so paris, honestly, it's literally like day and night Paris.
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Again, I've been spending my last two summers in Paris, so literally staying there from June through August.
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So in Paris, I literally get overwhelmed with the number of men that approach me.
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And let me just say this with the number of men that approach me.
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And let me just say this because there is an assumption that people know you're not from that area.
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And don't get me wrong, while that may be true sometimes, it's actually not true all the time.
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Paris is a metropolitan city.
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There are people from all over the world who live in Paris, so it's difficult to identify who is a true Parisian versus who is a tourist.
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And so, to that end, what I'll say is that every guy that has and I do mean this, every guy with the exception of one, every single guy that has approached me, with the exception of one guy, has approached me speaking French.
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So they're not even anticipating hearing some American accent.
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And for those that do speak English, once they hear me speaking French, they instantly know I'm not from there.
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And then they'll ask me in English where are you from?
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Because they know.
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So interesting because I feel like, I know, I know like if I'm walking down the street I can tell an african from somebody that you know is not, I'm automatically like, oh, they're african and when I was in ghana.
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They this guy was like yeah, we know that you're not from here.
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I said how, like you know, don't we all have the same?
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And so he's like he.
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He said my smell and I was like well, what does that mean?
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But I can understand what he's saying.
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He said my smell and I was like well, what does that mean?
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But I can understand what he's saying.
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You know how you have, like I don't know, even if people use a certain detergent, you know how their clothes smell.
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I'm thinking like maybe that was the vibe, like just different, like not in a bad way, but just different Exactly.
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So I feel like it is true that you can tell when people are not familiar.
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So it's interesting that they can't tell unless they start talking to you.
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Um, so that's interesting.
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So they're very bold in their approachment to you.
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If they like what they see, they're going to automatically come up to you they approach, they're born in paris.
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Right are they?
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Are these guys born in paris?
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oh yes, every guy, with the exception of two of them.
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Uh, one guy was born in Senegal, raised in Senegal as well.
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Another guy was born in the Congo, but he was raised in Paris.
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Um, but the the other few men that are just coming top to my top of mind, for me right now, they were born and raised in Paris.
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They've never lived outside of Paris or outside of France.
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I should specify.
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So what do you guys normally speak when you're dating?
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Do you normally speak French, or you normally speak English, or a mixture of both?
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So if I'm dating a guy.
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If I'm on a date with a guy who does not speak English, of course, on a date with a guy who does not speak English, of course I have to speak French.
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There's one guy that I met in 2022 who had actually spent decades in the US, so he had gone to college in the US, had gotten married in the US and all of that.
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So it was interesting because he's the only one that he is, that one that I was talking about earlier when I said every guy except one knew that or did not know that I was American.
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With him, I was just walking, I was going to an event.
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He approached me speaking perfect English, and I was taken aback and I was like, how did you know to speak English to me?
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And he was like I could just tell I lived in the US for 20 years.
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You're like an American girl to me, so that's why I just spoke English.
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You know so, with him, when we would have date night, we would speak in English.
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Um, because it was just more convenient at that point, um, but the other guys it was 100% French.
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I mean, it was all French.
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I would say, like you said, using that Google app, like I just said, just as keep referencing the french tour guy yeah very difficult with us on the phone.
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I'm gonna pick up the phone and talk type of person, so I don't want to always text, but I feel like when we get on the phone it's a very difficult.
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Often there's pauses because he's like hon or or what, and I'm like, well, let me just type it, you know, so I can come through your WhatsApp and you can translate it from there.
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So that's, I was like I can totally understand how passing the phone back and forth and all that kind of stuff gets old.
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So tell us how, so we know that they're approaching, you know.
00:21:21.657 --> 00:21:24.604
Tell us about dating what is their style of dating?
00:21:24.604 --> 00:21:27.268
Are relationship type men?
00:21:27.607 --> 00:21:36.028
tell us more about that so french culture is naturally known for being extremely romantic, and so this there, that's no exception.
00:21:36.028 --> 00:21:37.941
These men are no exception to the rule.
00:21:37.941 --> 00:21:40.548
Um, they are very romantic.
00:21:40.548 --> 00:21:41.813
They want to hold hands with you.
00:21:41.813 --> 00:21:47.683
You know, first date definitely anticipate holding hands with the guy that you're going on a date with.
00:21:47.683 --> 00:21:52.601
If you're comfortable with that, anticipate him wanting to come in for a kiss.
00:21:52.601 --> 00:21:59.492
That is very normal because, again, the French are known for their romanticism.
00:21:59.492 --> 00:22:04.146
Whatever culture they're all about, they love love.
00:22:04.146 --> 00:22:09.923
And so dating with these guys is, again, very romantic.
00:22:09.923 --> 00:22:13.811
They're very charismatic, just really pleasant people.
00:22:13.811 --> 00:22:26.782
Now, it doesn't mean that there aren't like a-holes, of course that's worldwide, but from my experience these guys are very gentle, they're very kind and it's just a good experience.
00:22:26.803 --> 00:22:41.152
So Paris, in particular the city itself, it has so much to offer in terms of the sites, the restaurants, the entertainment, so the city itself is romantic.
00:22:41.152 --> 00:22:45.273
It's like a very romantic city, so you don't even have to really do much.
00:22:45.273 --> 00:22:48.496
I mean, I've gone, I've done picnics with guys as a date.
00:22:48.496 --> 00:22:49.777
Super fun, right.
00:22:49.777 --> 00:22:59.244
We go to the Eiffel Tower, lay out our little towel and I'm sorry, our blanket and we have a picnic.
00:22:59.244 --> 00:23:09.288
I've gone, just walking, literally just walking around Paris and that was romantic, it was fun Great conversation, beautiful sights to see, taking pictures together, I mean just really fun stuff.
00:23:09.308 --> 00:23:16.550
So dating, I find I was going to say what was your best date ever?
00:23:18.059 --> 00:23:19.122
Oh, that's a good one.
00:23:19.122 --> 00:23:22.787
My best date ever?
00:23:22.787 --> 00:23:26.953
Oh, that's a good one, okay, or?
00:23:27.474 --> 00:23:30.980
the best date, most romantic thing somebody ever done?
00:23:30.980 --> 00:23:34.828
Because if they're all romantic, how do they top each other?
00:23:34.828 --> 00:23:41.191
It's not a contest, but I'm just interested to know so I would have to say, definitely the picnic date.
00:23:41.551 --> 00:23:45.500
Um, and what's interesting is that the picnic date actually didn't go as planned.
00:23:45.500 --> 00:24:04.948
Like, we planned to picnic, you know, eiffel Tower, that whole thing, which is very normal in the summer months over there, but literally like, as we were heading to the Eiffel Tower, it started pouring down, raining and so we had to detour.
00:24:04.948 --> 00:24:07.251
So his place was further out.
00:24:07.251 --> 00:24:13.929
He lives outside of Paris, whereas the place that I rent is within the city limits.
00:24:13.929 --> 00:24:19.104
So we just came back to my place and it was actually very pleasant.
00:24:19.104 --> 00:24:40.183
We just had a good conversation, we ate, we ate the food and I mean again, it's not, it's not much, but it's just the energy, it's the, it's the effort, right, like, I just find that my experience in the US, and again I guess I should say with American men in particular, in the US the effort is not there.
00:24:40.183 --> 00:25:09.294
And I'm not blaming anyone, I'm not even saying, like you know no-transcript, why men don't put the effort, they don't put forth any effort in the US.
00:25:09.294 --> 00:25:19.085
But I will say again, I don't know if it's just because of the, the culture, the whole, like romanticism, you know being romantic, the French culture, culture.
00:25:19.787 --> 00:25:26.759
I don't know if it's because in women women in Paris in particular have options, like they have options.
00:25:26.759 --> 00:25:31.094
I'm not saying that they're all the best options, but my point is like it's not.
00:25:31.094 --> 00:25:37.173
It is not common for them to hang out and men not approach them.
00:25:37.173 --> 00:25:39.157
That's not like the way it is in the U?
00:25:39.157 --> 00:25:44.012
S where literally my friends have not been approached by a guy in over 10 years or something like that.
00:25:44.012 --> 00:25:46.159
Literally, my friends have not been approached by a guy in over 10 years or something like that.
00:25:46.159 --> 00:25:48.061
That's not the norm over there.
00:25:48.061 --> 00:25:53.713
They're used to men approaching them, engaging them in conversation, wanting to take them out.
00:25:53.713 --> 00:25:57.790
So I don't know what it is, but it's just different.
00:25:57.790 --> 00:25:58.924
It's super different.
00:26:00.061 --> 00:26:03.940
Last time you said you missed some subtle hints from a French speaking guy.
00:26:03.940 --> 00:26:08.345
Last time you said you missed some subtle hints from a French speaking guy.
00:26:08.345 --> 00:26:17.355
So if somebody were in Paris and say a phrase in French, that you would know that this means they're flirting with you or trying to approach you.
00:26:18.501 --> 00:26:27.307
So let me just say this the guy that I missed the hints from was speaking English and he was super kind, right.
00:26:27.307 --> 00:26:50.669
So I'm trying to think of a phrase in French that would alert someone as to like, well, okay, so when you're walking, like, if a guy comes up to you and say that means very pretty, like you're very pretty, so of course that person is obviously they're physically attracted to you for sure, because they're approaching you and calling you pretty.
00:26:50.669 --> 00:26:53.429
So that's definitely a dead giveaway.
00:26:53.429 --> 00:27:09.943
And I'm trying to think if there are any other common phrases that I've heard from guys when they approach, like I'm trying to think like what did the guys say to me, the guys that spoke to me in French?
00:27:09.943 --> 00:27:24.574
I mean, of course there's always the bonjour, ça va, and it's just kind of like once you, you know, once you engage them in conversation, then it's like again, you know tu es très, you know tu es très belle, so you are very pretty.
00:27:24.574 --> 00:27:25.942
So you are very pretty.
00:27:26.923 --> 00:27:29.669
So, yeah, I can't think of like anything in particular.
00:27:29.669 --> 00:27:46.824
I mean maybe that's just my ignorance of the language Like I'm sure that there are some pickup lines, if you will, that guys use, but from my experience it's been guys approaching me, saying hello first, and then of course everybody kicks it off with what's up, man?
00:27:46.824 --> 00:27:53.585
And then after that now it's going into like so that means how are you like, how's it going?
00:27:53.585 --> 00:28:04.492
And so once you respond, like once they get a response from you, then it's kind of like a you know, you're pretty, can I get your number?
00:28:04.492 --> 00:28:05.213
That sort of thing.
00:28:05.213 --> 00:28:20.848
But yeah, I would say, if you're in France and you hear men as you're walking by, say clay bell, you know, or something like that, like obviously that definitely means like they're calling you pretty, you're a very pretty woman okay, so seems like they're approachable.
00:28:20.970 --> 00:28:21.711
The dating.
00:28:21.711 --> 00:28:25.300
So what about long-term relationships?
00:28:25.300 --> 00:28:30.876
Have you been in a long-term relationship with a, with somebody from there, and what does that look?
00:28:30.876 --> 00:28:39.989
I guess, if you're going like back and forth and I don't know if you want to get married or anything like that, have you had any potential partners that have gotten that close to that?
00:28:41.131 --> 00:28:44.195
So that's the thing I'll say.
00:28:44.195 --> 00:28:47.027
Francophone African men in particular, right?
00:28:47.027 --> 00:28:55.240
So the thing about francophone African men from my experience is that it's, again, completely opposite.
00:28:55.240 --> 00:29:03.460
I'm not saying either one is better or anything, but it's totally opposite from the experiences that we often have here in the US.
00:29:03.460 --> 00:29:16.432
So, for example, in the United States, you will have a guy that literally lives with a woman, has probably had two or three kids with that woman, and then when you ask him if he's in a relationship, he will literally say no.
00:29:16.432 --> 00:29:19.826
We're just talking In France.
00:29:20.268 --> 00:29:36.286
My experience in Paris dating francophone African men by date number two y'all go together, you guys are an item, and so I am not ready for a committed relationship at this point in my life.
00:29:36.286 --> 00:29:39.230
I'm not ready for that Marriage.
00:29:39.230 --> 00:29:39.972
I'm kind of like.
00:29:39.972 --> 00:29:46.669
You know I'm iffy because I've been married before, so that doesn't really move me.
00:29:46.669 --> 00:30:05.474
With that being said, though, because the men in France, the Francophone African men that I have dated, are like pretty much claiming you after date too, and they're serious too, like it's not like this play, like this jovial no, my femme, which means my woman in French.
00:30:05.474 --> 00:30:09.911
They will start introducing you as their woman, and I would have to correct them.
00:30:09.911 --> 00:30:13.135
I'm like I'm sorry, but we're not together.
00:30:13.135 --> 00:30:17.894
The word in French is un couple, which means a couple.
00:30:17.894 --> 00:30:19.838
Like we're together, we're in a relationship.
00:30:19.838 --> 00:30:21.949
No, we're not.
00:30:21.949 --> 00:30:27.165
So I kept finding myself having to correct them Like I'm sorry, no, we're not in a relationship.
00:30:27.165 --> 00:30:32.633
So, with that being said, I know you asked me like long-term relationships, how does that look?
00:30:32.633 --> 00:30:33.513
You know, whatever?
00:30:33.513 --> 00:30:39.425
So for me that does not exist, because I've not committed to any of the guys.
00:30:40.028 --> 00:30:53.521
Um, there is, out of the men that I met last summer, there are two of them that I'm still in communication with on a weekly basis, um, and one of whom literally calls me his woman.
00:30:53.521 --> 00:30:55.727
He still calls me his woman.
00:30:55.727 --> 00:31:02.631
And the thing is he said to me like oh, when you come back to Paris, we're going to live together.
00:31:02.631 --> 00:31:05.140
And I told him I was like no, we're not.
00:31:05.140 --> 00:31:08.848
I want to experience Paris as a real single woman with my own place.
00:31:08.848 --> 00:31:11.313
I don't want to move there and move in with a guy.
00:31:11.732 --> 00:31:19.307
So I talked to my friends who are women, who were raised in Paris or have spent several decades there.
00:31:19.307 --> 00:31:21.939
They're Francophone women and I asked them.
00:31:21.939 --> 00:31:25.770
I was like do you guys think that they're moving fast with me because I'm an American woman.
00:31:25.770 --> 00:31:28.156
Maybe they just feel intrigued by this.
00:31:28.156 --> 00:31:29.368
I'm different.
00:31:29.368 --> 00:31:39.567
And they explained to me no, actually, that's normal for French men to move quickly because Paris is an expensive city, so they look at this as an opportunity to save money.
00:31:39.567 --> 00:31:45.365
If we live together, we can live in Paris comfortably and split the bills.
00:31:45.365 --> 00:31:49.934
And so I was like okay, that makes sense.
00:31:49.934 --> 00:31:59.776
As to why again one of the two guys that I still communicate with on a weekly basis, who's in Paris every time we talk, he's like oh, we're gonna live together.
00:31:59.776 --> 00:32:02.030
Oh, you know, we're gonna get married when you come back.
00:32:02.030 --> 00:32:02.794
No, we're not.
00:32:02.933 --> 00:32:07.107
And I've said that a lot by you dating the different guys.
00:32:07.107 --> 00:32:10.575
Do you tell them about each other or no?
00:32:10.575 --> 00:32:12.138
You keep it kind of separate.
00:32:13.040 --> 00:32:17.732
I've not told them about each other, but it's not like a secret, like it's not.
00:32:17.772 --> 00:32:28.939
I'm not trying to play anybody um, because I'm being very transparent in the sense of like we're not an item, right, so I'm not leading anyone on um, but I'm also.
00:32:28.939 --> 00:32:35.511
I've never just outright said hey, by the I'm talking to another guy in Paris, cause I mean, I just feel like it's like nobody's business for real.
00:32:35.511 --> 00:32:39.446
But if they ask me, I have no issue telling them that.
00:32:39.446 --> 00:32:45.849
I just think that the best thing I can do is be authentic in the sense of letting them know like we are not together.
00:32:45.849 --> 00:32:57.011
And if they ask for more details, like why you know, are you seeing other people, then of course I would absolutely tell them that I am, but that's just never been a question.
00:32:57.011 --> 00:33:00.431
Surprisingly, now that you asked me that no one's ever asked me.
00:33:00.431 --> 00:33:03.737
None of them have actually asked me like are you talking to other men?
00:33:03.737 --> 00:33:04.641
Are you seeing other men?
00:33:04.641 --> 00:33:12.948
Nobody has asked and honestly, a part of me feels like they may be afraid to ask, right, I mean I hope you like.
00:33:12.968 --> 00:33:14.355
They may be afraid to ask because they know the answer.
00:33:14.355 --> 00:33:16.065
So you said the African Francophone men have approached you.
00:33:16.065 --> 00:33:19.673
So what about the non-African men?
00:33:19.673 --> 00:33:20.856
Do you get approached by them?
00:33:20.856 --> 00:33:22.148
And then my second, my.
00:33:22.148 --> 00:33:27.453
This is a little bit not related, but you said something about the women there.
00:33:28.226 --> 00:33:31.115
I know that and I use Ghana for reference cause I'm always.
00:33:31.115 --> 00:33:38.018
I'm there more often, but I feel like it has been hard to find Ghanaian friends that are women.
00:33:38.018 --> 00:33:44.567
A lot of my friends are guys because they're you know easily they're gonna, like you said, they're gonna approach you different things like that.
00:33:44.567 --> 00:33:55.532
So those are my two questions about your relationship with the Francophone women, which I think is wonderful because I think it gives you a perspective, as a woman you know, into their life as well.
00:33:55.532 --> 00:33:58.380
Okay, so yeah, those are the two questions I have.
00:33:59.025 --> 00:34:01.554
Okay, could you remind me what was the first part of that question?
00:34:01.554 --> 00:34:02.055
I'm so sorry.
00:34:02.465 --> 00:34:05.375
Other men approach you that are not African, francophone.
00:34:06.026 --> 00:34:12.865
The only other Francophone men that have approached me who were not well, I'm sorry, no, no, no, no, that's the short answer to the question.
00:34:12.865 --> 00:34:19.157
No man, no francophone man who's not African has ever approached me.
00:34:19.157 --> 00:34:36.009
Now, like I mentioned early on, when I was in Switzerland, there were francophone men that complimented me, or that restaurant owner who, according to my friend, was clearly interested and it totally went over my head.
00:34:36.009 --> 00:34:42.208
I've had those incidents Like when we were in Switzerland there were men, I guess this one guy.
00:34:42.208 --> 00:34:44.514
I don't know where he was from, I don't.
00:34:44.514 --> 00:34:45.585
I honestly I don't know.
00:34:45.585 --> 00:34:50.097
I don't know Cause he didn't look like a white French guy or anything like that.
00:34:50.097 --> 00:34:53.867
I don't know where he was from, but I know he's Francophone and he's not.
00:34:53.867 --> 00:35:04.360
He didn't look African to me but, like, this one guy was in his car and we were walking and he was like you know, très belle, you know un femme très belle.
00:35:04.360 --> 00:35:07.512
So, like you know, he was basically saying like you're a beautiful woman.
00:35:07.512 --> 00:35:22.289
And then when we were walking somewhere else, one of the sites, I I forgot the name of it now but like there were men that were just complimenting me, but nobody actually, except the African, again, except the Francophone African brothers.
00:35:22.289 --> 00:35:26.865
Nobody else actually approached me and was like how are you doing?
00:35:26.865 --> 00:35:29.371
You're beautiful, can I get your?
00:35:29.371 --> 00:35:32.076
Literally only the francophone African man did that.
00:35:41.704 --> 00:35:42.606
Now, my francophone girlfriends, my girls.
00:35:42.606 --> 00:35:44.208
So first of all, I absolutely love them, like, literally, my friend.
00:35:44.208 --> 00:35:58.731
My girlfriends that are in Paris are, I'm like, equally as close to them in terms of, like, how much we talk um, how much we are like, how vulnerable we are with one another.
00:35:58.731 --> 00:36:09.012
It's literally the same as it is with my you know best friends here in the States, and obviously I have more history with my best friends in the States and you can't really compare um in that regard.
00:36:09.012 --> 00:36:18.159
But I will say, just in that, in the willingness to be vulnerable and the love that I have for them, it literally is like it mimics my friendships in the US.
00:36:18.159 --> 00:36:20.548
I love my girls that are over there.
00:36:20.548 --> 00:36:24.746
We are literally sisters and when we talk to each other, we call each other sister.
00:36:24.746 --> 00:36:32.097
So, with that being said, my relationship with women who are over there, I okay.
00:36:32.097 --> 00:37:05.726
So one of them I met years ago, like in 2014, when I was in the blogging space and she ran across my post and reached out to me for help with her resume and we just, we just kept in touch ever since then and she literally is sister to me and when I'm in Paris she doesn't live in Paris anymore, but when I'm in Paris she lives in a surrounding country, excuse me or nearby country, and so I always make it a point to go spend time with her because she's family to me.
00:37:05.766 --> 00:37:10.414
The other two women that I'm exceptionally close to that live in Paris.
00:37:10.414 --> 00:37:14.579
I met one of them through a mutual contact.
00:37:14.579 --> 00:37:22.097
Actually, it's more than well, we're talking about Francophone, because I have other, like women, friends in Paris, but they're not Francophone, they just live in Paris.
00:37:22.097 --> 00:37:37.266
But the one Francophone, one of the two Francophone girlfriends that I have in Paris, I met her through a mutual contact and we just clicked instantly Like that's my girl, like we, you know, we keep in touch, we're always on what we're, what's apping each other all the time.
00:37:37.726 --> 00:37:40.771
Then my other one I met in a group.
00:37:40.771 --> 00:37:45.579
I met her in the um, uh, black abroad Paris group.
00:37:45.579 --> 00:37:55.313
So she was in the group and she posed a question in the WhatsApp group and she said like hey, is there anyone in this group who is willing to do a language exchange with me?
00:37:55.313 --> 00:37:59.108
Um, I want to strengthen my English and I will help you with your French.
00:37:59.108 --> 00:38:14.016
And I responded, and when I tell you, of course the first couple of phone calls were a little formal, a little light, tight, Um cause again in their culture, like they don't rock what you like, that for real, if you haven't been, like vouched for or whatever.
00:38:14.016 --> 00:38:16.670
So it was a little like rigid.
00:38:17.351 --> 00:38:25.956
But we had one conversation that completely broke the ceiling and that conversation was she asked me what did I think of France?
00:38:26.925 --> 00:38:31.773
And of course I went on oh, I love France, I love the way that they love black Americans.
00:38:31.773 --> 00:38:37.195
And so she said to me but what about the way they treat Africans?
00:38:37.195 --> 00:38:58.869
And I was like I am aware, and it's egregious, and if a white French disrespect any African or anyone for that matter, but certainly Africans in in my presence, I would have to correct that behavior because as a black American person, I know better than most how it feels to be discriminated against because of your race.
00:38:58.869 --> 00:39:05.248
And when I said that it's like whatever wall she had up, it just totally crumbled.
00:39:05.248 --> 00:39:28.817
And that sisterhood has been so meaningful to me because she has shared stories with me about how the Congolese admire black Americans for the thing, the contributions that we've made to their country contributions that I didn't even know about, that black Americans have done to try to free the Congolese from uh the colonials, the, the uh colonizers.
00:39:28.817 --> 00:39:29.257
I'm sorry.
00:39:29.257 --> 00:39:32.809
So yeah, man, my friendships with those ladies.
00:39:32.809 --> 00:39:35.407
I love them to death, like those are my girls.
00:39:35.407 --> 00:39:35.907
I love them.
00:39:36.369 --> 00:39:55.168
I was like I love that you have been able to create those relationships and I think they're very important, and I love that you guys started off with the language conversation, because that is super cool and like, like you said, then you have these people that you can like, hey, let's meet up.
00:39:55.168 --> 00:40:14.630
So I actually really love the friendship, which is funny because here in the states I have more girlfriends, so, of course me going back and forth to ghana like I crave that, crave that girl friendship and it's just not there um and even when you're connecting with other amer, we're in and out as well.
00:40:14.670 --> 00:40:15.947
You know what I'm saying, so that's why I?
00:40:15.947 --> 00:40:16.550
Would prefer.
00:40:16.550 --> 00:40:22.893
So we're going to just keep putting it out in the atmosphere that we'll find a good name and girlfriend.
00:40:22.893 --> 00:40:31.132
So we're going to switch gears and we are going to talk about just.
00:40:31.132 --> 00:40:37.469
You have your book called Words are wealthy, so we want to switch to the wealth conversation and traveling.
00:40:37.469 --> 00:40:43.387
So obviously you have to spend money to travel right, can't get around it.
00:40:43.387 --> 00:40:44.789
I was well.
00:40:45.231 --> 00:40:55.445
Okay there, there are ways to get around it um you know as an influencer, content creator, I have trips, so let me take that back.
00:40:55.445 --> 00:41:05.608
But for the average person, everybody's not, you know, in the content world or creating stuff, and most people are not getting stuff paid for.
00:41:05.608 --> 00:41:08.472
So it costs to travel, okay.
00:41:08.472 --> 00:41:16.889
And so because it costs to travel, people say that I can't save money or I would never live somewhere else.
00:41:16.889 --> 00:41:22.927
So let's get into that discussion about how traveling can actually save you money.
00:41:24.251 --> 00:41:25.472
Yeah, it definitely can.
00:41:25.472 --> 00:41:31.673
I mean, I just had a beautiful trip in Johannesburg, south Africa, about three weeks ago.
00:41:31.673 --> 00:41:33.565
It was my third visit to the country.
00:41:33.565 --> 00:42:01.536
Hands down, joburg is one of my top three favorite cities in the world, and while I was there, I don't know what made this trip so different from the previous trips, because I love every visit that I've had in Johannesburg but for some reason, the financial aspect really clicked for me, and so when I was there, first of all, we stayed in like a five-star hotel.
00:42:01.536 --> 00:42:12.088
I don't know if it's literally a five-star hotel, but in terms of service and the location and all of that, it was absolutely five-star.
00:42:12.088 --> 00:42:18.119
I mean literally the best service I've ever had at any hotel anywhere in the world.
00:42:18.119 --> 00:42:19.530
It was spectacular.
00:42:20.326 --> 00:42:37.072
We booked the hotel for 10 nights and the total cost was under like a little over I'm sorry, a little over $900, right For 10 nights at this immaculate property with all the amenities that you could possibly want and hope for at a hotel.
00:42:37.072 --> 00:42:42.871
And so one thing that really like clicked for me is I love my pizza.
00:42:42.871 --> 00:42:44.675
Okay, it is what it is.
00:42:44.675 --> 00:42:47.070
You can probably tell from the cheeks I love me some good pizza.
00:42:47.070 --> 00:42:51.215
So when we were over there I ordered Pizza Hut.
00:42:51.215 --> 00:42:54.351
I ordered like a medium cheese pizza.
00:42:54.351 --> 00:42:55.436
They actually sell French.
00:42:55.746 --> 00:42:58.427
I'll be right there, A lot of people.
00:42:58.427 --> 00:43:03.778
Contrary to what y'all believe, Africa is very well developed and people always worry about the food.
00:43:03.778 --> 00:43:07.456
They absolutely have American restaurants over there.
00:43:07.456 --> 00:43:08.887
One of them is Pizza Hut.
00:43:08.887 --> 00:43:09.829
They have it in Ghana.
00:43:09.829 --> 00:43:12.034
They got KFC, so it's like you.
00:43:12.034 --> 00:43:19.608
You they're more, I'm going to say, Americanized, but yes, they basically have foods that way.
00:43:19.628 --> 00:43:23.197
They have Subway I remember they had Subway in South Africa so you definitely can get foods if you want.
00:43:23.197 --> 00:43:23.797
So don't.
00:43:23.797 --> 00:43:27.835
Some people literally will limit themselves from traveling because they're afraid of the food.
00:43:28.405 --> 00:43:28.766
Oh yeah.
00:43:29.148 --> 00:43:30.376
That's why I stopped you really quickly.
00:43:30.376 --> 00:43:32.346
Like, let me insert that really quickly of the food.
00:43:32.346 --> 00:43:33.548
Oh yeah, that's why I stopped you really quickly.
00:43:33.548 --> 00:43:34.590
Let me insert that really quickly, randomly.
00:43:34.590 --> 00:43:37.277
You know I had the best like bacon.
00:43:37.318 --> 00:43:45.219
We were in cape town, that bacon was so delicious man, I have the best of almost everything when I when I leave america.
00:43:45.219 --> 00:43:46.704
Okay, like it's crazy.
00:43:46.704 --> 00:43:54.242
Like american food is better outside of america, like the popeyes in paris, absolutely phenomenal.
00:43:54.262 --> 00:44:00.565
Like I can't even eat popeyes over here, no more, it's a joke okay, then when I ever go to paris I'm gonna have to do it.
00:44:00.565 --> 00:44:12.114
We tried popeyes at turkey at the airport, yeah oh, it wasn't you know people complain about that.
00:44:12.114 --> 00:44:12.936
I like the biscuits.
00:44:12.956 --> 00:44:25.536
I used to work at papa's, by the way oh yeah fyi, and it was funny because our store you know they're all different they would serve breakfast biscuits that not a lot of stores were the best biscuits they were.
00:44:25.536 --> 00:44:27.407
And I mean again, I love the other pop people.
00:44:27.407 --> 00:44:41.572
You know, probably biscuits are dry but these ones just kind of like almost melted in your mouth and it was cool because they the the chefs back there they would be making like little different recipes that weren't on the menu and that's anyway.
00:44:41.572 --> 00:44:48.985
I love popeyes but so if I ever get to paris we got to go to popeyes and check it out and see how yeah but anyway, that was a side note.
00:44:49.005 --> 00:44:51.288
So you were saying you wanted pizza hut in.
00:44:51.349 --> 00:44:53.311
So I ordered Pizza Hut.
00:44:53.311 --> 00:44:58.838
Their Pizza Hut sells French fries and I ordered a drink, right?
00:44:58.838 --> 00:45:04.927
So this is something I order in the States Again minus the French fries, because our Pizza Hut doesn't serve French fries.
00:45:04.927 --> 00:45:20.157
But this is a common order for me in the States and so when I'm picking it up, when I order it for pickup, it's about 20 bucks, when I order it for delivery, closer to 30, right, if not over 30.
00:45:21.822 --> 00:45:36.639
In South Africa, when I ordered this meal to be delivered to my hotel, the total cost, including a generous tip, was over seven USD $7.
00:45:36.639 --> 00:45:56.532
And in that moment I was like, oh my gosh, like this is nuts, like this is the same thing that I'd get back home, except, of course, again, the quality is better because a lot of these countries don't use the same preservatives and nonsense that we have in our food.
00:45:56.532 --> 00:45:59.739
So I just I could not believe.
00:45:59.739 --> 00:46:01.268
I was literally flabbergasted.
00:46:01.268 --> 00:46:02.510
I could not believe it.
00:46:02.510 --> 00:46:04.376
I was like this is insanity.
00:46:04.376 --> 00:46:14.547
Like I got a pizza, a whole meal, delivered to me for seven US dollars, and that's including a generous tip me for seven US dollars and that's including a generous tip.
00:46:14.547 --> 00:46:17.672
So really I think it was like four USD and in that moment I was like man.
00:46:17.813 --> 00:46:21.945
Living abroad is so much bigger than like people think about.
00:46:21.945 --> 00:46:27.844
You know, living and traveling abroad is like oh, I'm a flunt, you know, floss it up for the gram.
00:46:27.844 --> 00:46:30.266
No, it's way bigger than that.
00:46:30.266 --> 00:46:47.398
It is literally a means of financial sovereignty, and this is specifically if you're living in a country where your home currency stretches quite far and the cost of living is relatively reasonable.
00:46:47.398 --> 00:47:03.387
The RAND was 19 to 1, meaning for every one USD, for every $1, you got 19 RAND, and it helps that, again, the whole world is suffering from inflation, by the way, so nobody is safe.
00:47:03.387 --> 00:47:05.713
My friends in Europe are struggling.
00:47:05.713 --> 00:47:08.786
My friends in South Africa are struggling, everybody's struggling.
00:47:09.067 --> 00:47:18.826
But what I'm trying to say is, if you earn USD and you're living in a country like South Africa, you will legitimately live like royalty off of very little.
00:47:18.826 --> 00:47:33.157
So the hack is you've got to be able to create income in a way that is location, autonomous right, and that income has to be earned in the quote unquote stronger currency.
00:47:33.157 --> 00:47:35.230
I'm putting that in quotes because I know that it has some.
00:47:35.230 --> 00:47:49.652
You know, this currency stuff has some some crazy historical and present context to it, but you've got to earn income in that stronger currency and it needs your, your career needs to be location autonomous.
00:47:49.652 --> 00:48:02.677
If you can master those things, you will legitimately live a lifestyle that you probably thought you would either have to wait until retirement to live or that you thought was merely a dream.
00:48:03.125 --> 00:48:12.405
I'm telling you, it is absolutely attainable and I know early on you were saying people feel like they can't save up the money to travel abroad.
00:48:12.405 --> 00:48:21.952
It's really not that expensive if you're intentional and you just bunk you, you hunker down and you just hustle like.
00:48:21.952 --> 00:48:33.760
One thing I will say about the US that I like is it is a country where we have so many, um, so many ways to earn money, especially now in the gig economy.
00:48:33.760 --> 00:48:43.860
So whether you are delivering food or delivering groceries or whatever the case may be, we got to understand that these types of services do not exist in a lot of other countries.
00:48:43.860 --> 00:48:47.335
So when people say that there are no jobs, they are.
00:48:47.335 --> 00:48:48.750
It's for real.
00:48:48.750 --> 00:49:00.818
There are no jobs in that country because they don't have a gig economy for real, but we do, so that makes a good point too, when we talk about every time.
00:49:00.878 --> 00:49:15.686
I pay my rent here in the us and I'm in california, where rent is those highest cities or states, and I was like, oh my god, I just need to go ahead and move to Mexico, my expenses will be cut in half.
00:49:15.686 --> 00:49:26.579
I could have my person that can meal prep, I can have my cleaner, I can have a bunch of different services and still offer less of what I'm paying here.
00:49:27.001 --> 00:49:46.998
So, actually, if I wanted to save money, I could move to Mexico and then come back and purchase my house, because at the rate we're going, sometimes rent is almost as much as people mortgages now, and so if you really think about it and just take that leap, it actually probably will end up saving you more money.
00:49:46.998 --> 00:49:52.818
And, like you said, it is important, though, obviously, to be making the US money or doing some type of job.
00:49:52.818 --> 00:49:55.634
But I have a friend in Mexico now.
00:49:55.634 --> 00:50:04.918
She moved and had a good job when she was here, moved down there, but she has created a life down there like she does tours and yacht parties and all that kind of stuff.
00:50:04.918 --> 00:50:13.201
Us money is still coming to her, right, yeah, she's still living, so her wealth is great right now.
00:50:13.302 --> 00:50:14.125
You know what I'm saying.
00:50:14.125 --> 00:50:22.427
So, again, you have to find those things that you can do, um, over there just to maintain your money and different things like that.
00:50:22.427 --> 00:50:31.358
But, yeah, you're right, some other countries is very hard for us for them to make money, and because I'm like, when I went to ghana, they were like, you know, I feel like.
00:50:31.358 --> 00:50:35.739
Of course, they see you, as you know, having money, I'm like, but I'm a broke college student.
00:50:35.739 --> 00:50:49.219
But even being a broke college student, I still probably have more money than the average person when it comes to looking for work, and so those are the things that we have to put into perspective.
00:50:49.219 --> 00:50:55.728
I always say our little blue passport gets us a whole lot more privileged than what we think.
00:50:55.728 --> 00:51:00.688
You know what I'm saying, and so I think everything that you said is very, very true.
00:51:02.050 --> 00:51:02.992
Yeah, I mean, you know.
00:51:02.992 --> 00:51:07.706
I wanted to add when you just brought up the point of having that passport.
00:51:07.706 --> 00:51:39.289
You know, as of now, most of my family members do not have a passport and it breaks my heart getting used to certain foods or not having certain foods that you're used to in the States.
00:51:39.289 --> 00:51:42.000
It's a huge undertaking and I fully understand.
00:51:42.000 --> 00:51:43.788
I used to be critical of people that didn't want to move.
00:51:43.788 --> 00:51:45.514
But you know what I get.
00:51:45.514 --> 00:51:54.108
It it's a lot, and I'll say this as someone who is planning to live abroad and who's actively pursuing the visa to get all of that done and so.
00:51:54.869 --> 00:52:10.365
But, with that being said, I think that every single Black American person owes it to themselves and they owe it to the ancestors to get a passport and just leave the country.
00:52:10.365 --> 00:52:14.688
Even if you just go somewhere for seven days, you've got to experience it.
00:52:14.688 --> 00:52:15.590
Why am I saying this?
00:52:15.590 --> 00:52:25.153
Because it was not until I left the US that I realized how much Black Americans in particular are valued around the world.
00:52:25.153 --> 00:52:33.690
The stories that I have, the way that I have been treated I'm telling you people would think that I'm capping.
00:52:33.690 --> 00:52:42.648
Black Americans are globally respected and I haven't been to every country in the world.
00:52:42.648 --> 00:52:52.563
So let me just say that the countries that I've gone to, I have yet to run across any bad vibes or any anti-black American vibes.
00:52:52.563 --> 00:53:00.067
In fact, more times than not, some of these countries actually don't like white Americans, but they value black Americans and so-.
00:53:00.315 --> 00:53:10.880
This is why it's important to travel, because you hear various different conversations like, oh, they don't like us, but I'm like, have you traveled there or is this something that you've heard?
00:53:10.880 --> 00:53:30.527
And this is why, again reiterating the importance of traveling to see them, your perspective will just change, and that is one of the reasons why I love traveling, because your world just opens up to other people, how they live, what they do, the differences and the commonalities.
00:53:30.527 --> 00:53:36.085
We have a lot of commonalities that we don't know about unless we get out there and travel.
00:53:36.085 --> 00:53:51.110
So my last thought to you is if you had any advice on either wealth, moving abroad or dating, what would your advice be to people who may resonate with this conversation?
00:53:52.315 --> 00:53:59.449
So my advice and this is going to be specifically for Americans, right, because I'm American, I can only speak from that perspective.
00:53:59.449 --> 00:54:05.057
I'm American, I can only speak from that perspective.
00:54:05.057 --> 00:54:08.585
My advice to you is to forget about all of the experiences that you have here when you leave the US.
00:54:08.585 --> 00:54:09.768
Why is this important?
00:54:09.768 --> 00:54:22.603
You've got to open yourself up to understanding again that whatever your lived experiences are in the US are not necessarily going to be your lived experiences in another country.
00:54:22.603 --> 00:54:24.226
And I'm just going to share a really quick story.
00:54:25.148 --> 00:54:33.867
In 2022, me and a sorority sister visited Nice, France, and we had a white French woman who was our tour guide.
00:54:33.867 --> 00:54:41.905
There was a white American family and I'll just say Greek American, because her heritage was Greek and she and her daughter lived in Greece.
00:54:41.905 --> 00:55:03.610
But we had a Greek American family that was a part of the same tour that we were on, and so, when the tour ended, our tour guide had prioritized dropping off this Greek American family, and in my mind I was cursing her out because it didn't make sense the route that she was going.
00:55:03.610 --> 00:55:15.675
It would have made more sense to drop off my sorority sister and I and then drop off the Greek American family, and then she could go on her way, but she prioritized dropping them off first.
00:55:15.675 --> 00:55:26.163
And so me, given my lived experiences in America, I was infuriated and I was like, oh, okay, so she's going to drop off the white people first, right.
00:55:26.202 --> 00:55:27.586
That was my initial thought.
00:55:27.586 --> 00:55:37.023
I was so angry, thinking that this woman was going to she was prioritizing white people over us because she felt like, oh, let me take care of them first, right.
00:55:37.023 --> 00:55:41.360
So again in my head, I'm going off on her, I'm upset, and all of this.
00:55:41.360 --> 00:55:54.347
So we reached the Greek American families hotel, she get the tour guide, gets out, says her goodbyes to them and then she gets back in the van with me and my sorority sister, who is a black American woman.
00:55:54.347 --> 00:56:03.077
And when she gets in the van, she looked at us and she said, OK, my Queens, I dropped them off first so I could spend more time with you.
00:56:03.077 --> 00:56:12.061
And I'm actually getting chill bumps as I say this, because in that moment right.
00:56:12.101 --> 00:56:18.369
Like I was like wow, right, like literally it it, it like it knocked me.
00:56:18.369 --> 00:56:30.766
It just knocked the wind out of my lungs because, because the whole time this woman has no idea I was cursing out in my head and the whole time she actually just wanted to spend more time with us.
00:56:30.766 --> 00:56:34.646
She dropped them off first because she wanted to spend more time with us.
00:56:34.646 --> 00:56:42.619
She wanted to have girl chat with us and I was like you're not in America, you got to let that go.
00:56:42.619 --> 00:56:53.059
And so I'm sharing this to say that if you're watching this video and you are thinking about living or traveling abroad and like what does that mean?
00:56:53.059 --> 00:56:54.222
What should you expect?
00:56:54.222 --> 00:56:59.621
I would say to expect nothing, to leave yourself open to the experiences.
00:56:59.621 --> 00:57:01.427
Try not to get so easily offended.
00:57:01.427 --> 00:57:02.530
Like, just leave yourself open to the experiences.
00:57:02.530 --> 00:57:03.253
Try not to get so easily offended.
00:57:03.253 --> 00:57:08.809
Just leave yourself open to receiving this newness, because that's what it is.
00:57:08.809 --> 00:57:19.099
It's a newness Every time I visit South Africa again I just got back from my third visit Every single time I visited that country and somebody hears my accent, they ask me where I'm from.
00:57:19.519 --> 00:57:23.244
Guess what they say when I say I'm from America, welcome home.
00:57:23.244 --> 00:57:27.356
Every time this has happened, every single time I've gone to that country.
00:57:27.356 --> 00:57:30.842
So I'm saying this to say open yourself up.
00:57:30.842 --> 00:57:46.168
Leave all this baggage in the States where it is because that's what it is is baggage and open yourself up to receive this beautiful world that is waiting to embrace you, that wants to talk to you, that wants to know more about your culture, that wants to understand you.
00:57:46.168 --> 00:57:48.240
Leave yourself open to that.
00:57:48.240 --> 00:57:50.139
Leave yourself open to it.
00:57:50.139 --> 00:57:51.759
So that's all I've got.
00:57:52.442 --> 00:57:55.255
Okay, well, this was a wonderful conversation.
00:57:55.255 --> 00:58:02.369
So before we leave, tell them where they can find you, how they can follow you, how they can order your book.
00:58:03.914 --> 00:58:06.182
Yes, definitely, and again, thank you so much for having me.
00:58:06.182 --> 00:58:06.905
This was awesome.
00:58:06.905 --> 00:58:21.007
So if you are interested in learning how you can turn words into wealth via email marketing, social media marketing, with Facebook and Instagram ads, visit wordsarewealthcom.
00:58:21.007 --> 00:58:22.146
Again, that's wordsarewealthcom.
00:58:22.146 --> 00:58:22.248
You.
00:58:22.248 --> 00:58:22.755
That's wordsarewealthcom.
00:58:22.755 --> 00:58:26.583
You can get the paperback version of the book, which is behind me.
00:58:26.583 --> 00:58:29.498
I always keep it behind me, so this is the paperback version.
00:58:29.498 --> 00:58:33.902
It's sold directly on the website, or you can get the Kindle version on Amazon.
00:58:33.902 --> 00:58:34.925
So either one.
00:58:34.925 --> 00:58:39.782
When you go to wordsarewealthcom, you'll see the buttons where you can order the different copies of the book.
00:58:39.782 --> 00:58:46.280
In terms of social media handles, so I've really been working on growing my YouTube channel.
00:58:46.280 --> 00:58:51.550
So, if you would please again, youtube dot com forward slash.
00:58:51.550 --> 00:58:53.838
I think it's at words are wealth.
00:58:53.838 --> 00:59:00.800
So my handle for YouTube is words are wealth and Instagram, like, I'm on there, but I'm not on there for real.
00:59:00.800 --> 00:59:09.688
But, um, my Instagram handle is actually meeting Maria and that's m-e-e-t-i-n-g-m-a-r-i-a.
00:59:09.688 --> 00:59:12.135
So all one word, no spaces, no characters.
00:59:12.135 --> 00:59:16.382
My IG handle is meeting Maria and then my Facebook last name.
00:59:16.884 --> 00:59:25.740
My Facebook is, uh, just my first and last name, so Maria Lloyd and we will make sure to type all this information out so you can just click the link.
00:59:25.740 --> 00:59:36.384
But this was a wonderful conversation and I'm so excited that you have joined me today and we look forward to talking in the future.
00:59:36.384 --> 00:59:40.905
All right, oh, before we leave, join us on a trip.
00:59:40.905 --> 00:59:52.878
We have trips coming up to Ghana in December, egypt in November and, of course, if you, the books are always available Hughes of HBCUs and Hughes of Africa.
00:59:52.878 --> 00:59:57.367
All right, thank y'all, have a wonderful day, peace.