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Check check check one two three. We're live, baby, Welcome
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back to the podcast. Thank you for pressing play. Got
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a cool interview for you at the end of the podcast,
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as always with comedian Ruby Setnik. She's hilarious. She's coming
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to Raleigh in October, so make sure if you're listening
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to Raleigh you go get tickets to see her. You
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can go follow her on Instagram at Ruby Setnik. She
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was awesome. I got to open for her this past
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weekend in Indie. I'm telling you don't miss when she
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comes through because she's awesome. But you'll hear about that
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in her interview. How you doing. You're having a good week.
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I know you're not doing as good as me because
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I got my Facebook consumer Privacy user profile litigation settlement
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for six dollars and thirty eight cents. Don't you broke
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bitches talk to me about having money. I got more
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money than all y'all. Bro you pour pieces of shit.
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Six dollars and thirty eight cents. I don't even know
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what a consumer privacy user profile litigation settlement is, but
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I can't imagine it means that my data got breach,
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somebody took it and sold it. To somebody else for
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a little more than six dollars and thirty eight cents.
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But thank you, Mark Zuckerberg. I can sweep peacefully knowing
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that that's how much my Facebook's worth. Hey, how much
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should we give this guy?
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Huh?
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You know, we kind of gave away all of his
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personal shensheit of information. Yeah, fuck them chicks, dollars tell
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them to get out of here.
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Yeah, that's it's basically what happened. That's what all companies
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are doing to us now. Dude, we are all worth
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about six dollars and thirty eight cents to all these companies.
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They don't even care at this point. Dude, I read
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today that uh PlayStation said starting January twenty twenty eight,
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they're going to stop making physical copies of video games.
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So if you want to get a new video game
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after that, it's just it's gonna be digital. We're not
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gonna own anything, bro. Like it's nuts. And I know
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you're thinking, like, well, I don't play video games, so
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I don't care. This is how it starts. They do
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like this is the easiest thing to do, Like they
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did it with streaming services and movies, so like, oh well,
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I bought Toy Story two on Paramount, but then Paramount
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lost its right, so now I can't watch toys. Now
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I got go on Disney. I gotta sign up for Disney.
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We don't own anything. We're just chasing every single subscription.
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It's fucking ridiculous. It's just greedy as hell. And there
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was a bill that got passed yesterday too. It was
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to make sure that old games were still playable after
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the servers or the licensing ran out. It got the vote,
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got killed in the Senate because the politicians don't care.
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On Microsoft, they're all throwing the politicians a shit ton
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of money going yeah, no, no, no, you wanna know what's
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gonna happen. We're gonna put this game out digitally, and
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then when our servers don't have enough space for it anymore,
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we're gonna delete it. And those people are gonna cry,
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fuck it. We'll send them six dollars and thirty eight cents.
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That'll make them happy, right, It's like that's how much
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they're like just waving us away, like get out here, please,
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you're you're complaining, you're crying, Please take your six dollars.
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Don't look me in the eyes. It's crazy. Man, I
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know you might be thinking, I don't play video games.
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I don't care. That's how everything works. The CEOs are like, yes,
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I need to make a little bit more money because
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I don't have enough yachts. Actually, I need another house.
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The rich guy next to me got another house. I
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need one. So I'm gonna need you to make this
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law that makes me more money. Yeah, but sir, as
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a politician, I'm supposed to be protecting the rights of
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my constituents. Yeah, what if I give you a bunch
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of money? Well, okay, fuck my constituents. How much you
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said you're gonna give them in the settlement? Six dollars
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and thirty eight cents. Oh, they should be happy for that.
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It's crazy, dude. It's just like, I don't know. It's
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one of those things where you're like reading it and
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you're like, Hi, we we should fight the power. We
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must make a change. And then my hypocrite ass is
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pre ordering Grand Theft Auto six. I pre ordered a
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digital copy of a video game. That's how stupid I am. Dude.
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Back in the day, when you pre ordered a game,
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it's so that you could get it the first night
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it came out. When you had to like go stand
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at a Blockbuster at eleven thirty, stand around with thirty
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other people, going, oh, yo, this game's supposed to be sick.
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The graphics are really cool, Yeah, but what about the story?
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Y'all?
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Fuck the story. You know we're gonna get in there
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and just kill hookers, that kind of stuff. And you
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wanted to get it because if you didn't pre order it,
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everybody would go get the game and then you'd have
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to wait until they restock. Your buddies had already beaten
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the story mode. They were on online multiplayer. At that point,
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you were falling behind, so you had to pre order it.
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But now they're like, yeah, why don't you pre order
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this digital copy of a game that doesn't run out
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just so that we can run our numbers up for
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Q two. And what did we do? Y' y'all? Y'all,
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y'all'll do that. Thank you, Rockstar. This game's going to
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be sick. We've been waiting on it for fifteen years. Rockstar.
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I believe. I believe the number was six billion dollars
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they made with pre orders. It doesn't sound real. I
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could be making that up. This is a podcast run
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by a nobody I could be lying, but that's what
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I saw on the internet. I choose to believe. So
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it's like, you want to change something, but also I
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really want to play Grand Theft Auto six, So you know,
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like you compromise your morals. You're happy with your six
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dollars and thirty eight cents, Go fuck yourself, get out here.
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That's basically what happens. Man. It's whatever. AI is going
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to take all of our jobs anyway, everything's everything is
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what it is. We're done, wrap it up, it's over.
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There's no hope. Each your eat your video game, or
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each your hamburgers while you're playing your video games. Hamburgers
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aren't even going to be made by human beings. I
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just read this thing that said scientists developed a program
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called Burger AI. Those like the dumbest people in AI.
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All the other AI people are.
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Like, we're going to make security systems that we're going
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to make the new monetary currency, and we're going to
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boo boo book.
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There were guys that were just like, you know, one
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of the robots made hamburgers.
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They're like, Jesus crises guys again.
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Who let them in here? Get them out of here?
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But anyway, they made burger AI. They trained it on
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thousands of burger recipes to learn what people love about flavor, texture, nutrition,
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and even sustainability. I've never heard someone describe a hamburger
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and make it gross, but flavor, texture, nutrients, just say.
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We trained it on burger recipes to find the best one.
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What about the sustainability of the hamburger? Can you not
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make my burger sound gross? And then they did a
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taste test with blind taste tests, and two of the
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AI designed burgers actually matched or beat a Big Mac
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in flavor and overall enjoyment. We still got time, humans,
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We still got time. Dude. They can only make one
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that tastes as good as a fucking big mac. Big
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macs are gross, dude. You remember the first time like
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you tried a big Mac because you were like, I
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gotta try big Mac. I had never tried one before.
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I think the first one, the first time I had one,
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I was like twelve, because up until that point in
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my McDonald's career, I could only eat like the kids
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meal hamburgers. I was wettle. I grew a little bit
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and I was like no, no, no, I'm big boy. Now
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let me get that big Mac had it gross. I
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tried it, I don't know, probably six seven years later,
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and I was like, maybe it was just my young
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taste button. Try it again. Just fucking big Mac suck.
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And AI can only make a burger that's as good
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as a big Mac, So we still got time. We're
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still winning. You see that thing. Ford had to rehire
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three hundred human engineers because they finally figured out that
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AI wasn't getting it done.
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Hey, guys, you know how we just wigd you off
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and kind of ruin your life, made you think about
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picking a new career field. Will you come back because
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the robot's just not getting it done?
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Well?
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Yeah, sure. Are you guys gonna pay us what we
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were making?
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No, we're gonna pay you wes, But aren't you happy
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to have your job back?
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We're winning right now. Everything in our economy is hinging
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on AI being good and Ford's rehiring human beings and
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burger AI's making fucking big Max. Everything's okay. I'm sorry
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I'm being negative. It's not I'm not trying to be negative.
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Just reading the news I am hyped about speaking of
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good news. The uh world cups still going on, and
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if you haven't gotten into it. If you want to
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do a dude, I don't go fuck about shocker, shocker, stupid.
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I witter we. I had somebody call call into the
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radio the other days. I was talking about the World Cup,
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like the Koreans and the Mexicans were like having a party.
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It was awesome, Like everybody's just super excited about the
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World Cup and being in a different country and seeing
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what's cool about that country, and everybody's having a good time.
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So I was talking about that and this guy calls
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up and he goes, Hi, Mayan, why why do you
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keep talking about the World Cup? And I was like,
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I don't know. It's kind of like the biggest thing
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going on in the world right now. He's like, well,
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I don't know. Me and my buddies were just wondering
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why you keep talking about it, because in that a
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foreign sport, it's like, come on, dude, enjoy it.
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Man.
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It's it's the biggest thing going on right now. And
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the US finally has a good team. They're playing tonight.
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Hopefully they beat Bosnia and her goad. I'm not even
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gonna try to her Goatsia. I don't know. We're playing
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two fucking countries. That's how good we are. They want
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to keep us from winning. They're throwing multiple countries at us.
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We're gonna win, and then we probably end up got
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a playing end up having to play Belgium with hopefully
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we beat them too. But I'm telling you, get into it.
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It's fun. Uh My girlfriend Amy, she doesn't like soccer
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because even though she's British and you would think that
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they're you know, brought up loving the game of football.
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Her whole family thinks that soccers for pussies because they're
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a rugby family. But I keep having the games on
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and I don't know if it was Yes, it had
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to be the day before where it was Brazil and Japan.
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That game was sick, and then I forget who was
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the next game. I think it was Germany Paraguay and
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they're going back and forth. Germany should have beat them
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on paper by you know, two three goals. Everybody's like,
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Paraguay sucks us beat them. Germany's gonna make a mockery
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of Paraguay. Man they end up going to pks and
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like that, you felt the pressure turn the volume up,
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the commentators going nuts. Aims starts rooting for the Paraguayans,
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and she's like, oh, I lock sucking Now this is
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fun because they won and everybody in Paraguay they like
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pan the camera to you know, back in Paraguay and
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everybody's losing their shit. It was the coolest thing that
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ever happened to them, you know what I mean. It's
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like little stuff like that. You're like, Okay, this is cool.
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I gotta get I gotta get into this. This is awesome.
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But I did feel bad. Well, I guess I didn't
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really feel bad because Sah was the Gemmans, But did
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you guys see the uh they were like trying to
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figure out one last person to take the penalty kick
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when they were doing the shootout at the end, and
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there was like three German players that didn't want to
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take the last one because of the pressure, because of
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the implications, and so they sent out like a center back,
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one of their defenders or something that had never take
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a penalty kick before, and he just sent it to
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the moon. And at first everybody was mad at that guy.
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They're like, how do you do that, dude? Come on,
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you're a professional. And they're like, oh, he's never taken
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a PK before, and then they go back and look
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at the video, and he was the only one who
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was like, yeah, I'll go up and do it. All
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the other players said no. And you want to call
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him soft, you want to get mad at him. But
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then you got to remember that other countries take soccer
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a lot more serious than we do in the States.
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If they miss that and they're supposed to make it,
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they're getting death threats. They probably can't live in Germany anymore,
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you know what I mean, Like we already have crazy
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people here DM and death threats the you know, people
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in the major leagues or the NFL if they don't
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hit their parway bro in Germany say I'll put you
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on the train if you miss the PK. So I
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gotta be honest. I don't fault them for not stepping
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up and taking that penalty kick, but shout out to Paraguay.
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All right, let's uh, let's get to your headline of
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the week, and then we'll get to this interview with
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comedian Ruby set Nick. This is a this is a
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Hall of Fame story right here. A woman in Florida
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denied owning a bag of cocaine that fell out of
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her buttocks while getting booked into jail. She was pulled
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over for a traffic violation and started getting a little
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animated with the police officer, which led her to getting arrested. Which,
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first of all, this whole thing could have been avoided
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if she just played it cool. But you know, she
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had cocaine in her ass, she was probably getting all
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lamped up. She went through an X ray machine, which
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showed that the drugs hidden in her lower region, and
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when she was taken to another room, she tried to
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cover her butt, but the drugs fell out and she
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denied knowing anything about it, which I like, I know,
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this person's obviously not the smartest human being on the planet,
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but come on, bag of coke falls out of your butt.
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You just got to be like, all right, you got me.
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That's on me, because the excuse you tell your parents
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when they find you with a bag of weed in
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high school, you're like, oh, I don't know whose that is.
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That must be my friends. You can't do that when
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the drugs fall out of your ass. You know where'd
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this come from? Well, I don't know where those drugs.
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Someone must have put those in my butt when I
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wasn't looking. How does that happen. You know what I mean,
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it's crazy, But be safe for the fourth of July,
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America's two hundred and fiftieth birthday. We've been here so long,
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quite a bit longer than most countries. Actually, we're the
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oldest country if you didn't know, are we two hundred
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and fifty years? That's cool. Be safe, seriously, though, the
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cops are going to be out, and also you know
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you're going to be drunken, white and fireworks, so don't
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do anything stupid. But let's get to this interview with
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comedian Ruby Setnik. What's going on? Ruby Tie?
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Driving from Nashville, Tennessee to Dayton, Ohio.
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Oh man, that that's a drive that'll make you think
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about life a little bit.
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As sure. As we were listening to the radio, we
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listened to a what would you call it? We was
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a Southern guy.
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He was preaching about the rapture, which found awesome.
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Yeah, that's a good way to pass the time. And
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then I'm sure you'll pass a few hell Is Real
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signs on the way up there too, So.
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Yeah, it's super optimistic.
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Vines.
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On this ride, we were a little we were celebrating.
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It's my boyfriend's birthday last night, and I hung over
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this morning and we had to get up really early
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so that we could get to Dayton, Ohio. And then
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we were renting a car, which is sort of like
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a nightmare for me in terms of like just just
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things that one has to do in their life.
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And then I was trying to get waters.
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At the like single vending machine at the liminal space
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where you rent cars at the airport.
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Which is for airplanes. So when there's cars are there,
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it's just kind of like the worst.
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Possible case for like an interior setting, Like it's like
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the lights are like blue, you know what I mean,
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and everybody wants you to leave, even the people that
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you're paying. And we found the single vending machine under
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a blinking hospital light, and then it wouldn't give me water,
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which I desperately needed.
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Like I can't express you enough.
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I was like dry all the way on the inside
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of my body. And then I started to hit the
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vending machine. And then Ben and my boyfriend afterwards told
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me that some French people were recording me on their
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cell phones and we were laughing thinking about them taking
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that footage home to the people of France and.
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They see the Americans, they hit the machines for their bread.
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Then, oh my god. You know what my follow up
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question was going to be, can you describe the people
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who haven't seen you before what your comedy is like?
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But you did a good Oh yeah.
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That's for his monologuing, probably, dude, that was hilarious.
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That's my favorite part of my day so far was
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a listen to that. So thank you. I'm sorry you're
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having a tough day, but you know, from my.
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Point of view, that was very happy to be in
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the Midwest.
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I'm really excited to find out about this charm that
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I keep hearing about.
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I've yet to witness it, but sure it's coming.
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Ohio people they're a little grouchy, so I wouldn't you know,
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I wouldn't bank your Midwest niceness on them. But people
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here in Indie are almost too nice, so you may
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or may not enjoy that. It's one of those things
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where you kind of look over your shoulders.
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Balance out into like a nice nothing.
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Yeah, that'll be good. I mean that's what life is anyway,
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you just bouncing out and doing nice nothing, which I
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absolutely I got to ask because there's a thing people
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say now that like comedians are the modern day philosophers,
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and I normally don't think that that's a thing, but
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I was listening to your set and you said the
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experience of being alive is profoundly uncomfortable with little to
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no relief, And I gotta be honest, I think comedians
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are modern day philosophers, or at least you are.
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Well.
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Can I tell you what was happening when I said that? Yeah,
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I'd never said that on stage before, but that day
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I found out later did I was starting to get sick,
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so I so I was.
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Just speaking about out I felt.
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But and I thought I was describing what life was like,
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But looking back, I think I was just describing what
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the beginning of.
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A fever film.
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You just had the flu, and it wasn't that day
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I had.
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Flu, which is profoundly uncomfortable with Really.
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00:19:19.839 --> 00:19:23.559
Yes, it is well, all right, So other than being sick,
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00:19:23.720 --> 00:19:26.640
how was being up on the Netflix as a joke
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introducing Showcase? Because I didn't know Netflix had a YouTube either,
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so that was, Yeah, that was kind of cool to
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figure out. But what was that whole experience, like like
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00:19:35.920 --> 00:19:38.680
getting brought on by Tom Papa, being in a nice
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theater like what what was it? I don't know.
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I think, well, you know, you get it's kind of
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like a lobster and a pot kind of thing in
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terms of different opportunities that one gets as they continued down, Uh,
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as they continue force. Like you know, by the time
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something like that is happening, it's not as as you
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would think because something just slightly less scary has already happened.
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You know what I mean.
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Yeah, so you're used to it. Okay, that makes sense.
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You're used to it.
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00:20:10.279 --> 00:20:12.359
And then also, I mean, and that's how a standard is.
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You're like, it's like you're kind of driving blying down
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the highway and there's not it.
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00:20:21.599 --> 00:20:24.119
I guess it gets worse and worse, but you don't
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notice it. How can I say it in a way
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where it sounds like I like it? Because I do
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like it.
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I mean, you obviously like it. You've been doing it
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for a while, you like. I kind of understand where
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00:20:35.240 --> 00:20:38.640
you're coming from though, because you started or stand up
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in high school, which is crazy because I'm like trying
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to think back to when I was in high school,
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zero confidence and being up on stage all by yourself
389
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in high school, Like, did you have confidence back then
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00:20:50.279 --> 00:20:52.960
or you just nuts or like what what what made.
391
00:20:52.759 --> 00:20:55.480
You do it? Well, let me think about that.
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I think it's less confidence and more like, uh, maybe stubbornness,
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like I because I knew that because most things you
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can do, like most things that are creative are artistic,
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you can do and and and it's not obvious whether
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00:21:10.759 --> 00:21:13.279
or not or it's not straightforward whether or not it's
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any good, you know. And when I did stand up,
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00:21:16.119 --> 00:21:19.279
it was just really clear to everyone involved and it
399
00:21:19.359 --> 00:21:23.559
was really bad and that I sort of felt like
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00:21:23.559 --> 00:21:25.519
like it was like I was being challenged.
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00:21:25.640 --> 00:21:29.720
I was being challenged, you know, and and so that
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00:21:29.880 --> 00:21:33.039
was exciting and and then and then and then it
403
00:21:33.079 --> 00:21:35.440
continued to be bad for like two for like two
404
00:21:35.559 --> 00:21:37.759
for two to five years.
405
00:21:37.759 --> 00:21:39.519
It's still bad, Like it's still bad.
406
00:21:40.200 --> 00:21:43.279
Not not these shows coming up at Helium Comedy.
407
00:21:43.720 --> 00:21:46.119
You could should come. You should definitely come to the
408
00:21:46.160 --> 00:21:50.160
shows which will be good. I like, stand up is
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00:21:50.400 --> 00:21:55.880
difficult and remains mysterious and uh, it's it's like different
410
00:21:55.920 --> 00:21:57.799
every time you do it. And that's what I like
411
00:21:57.839 --> 00:21:59.640
about it is that it's but but it's not.
412
00:22:00.079 --> 00:22:02.720
And I think that brings me back because when when
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I think about how I feel like, deep down at
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my center when I think about doing stand up and
415
00:22:08.279 --> 00:22:11.799
being a comedian, that feeling is fear. I that's my
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00:22:12.000 --> 00:22:13.000
primary feeling.
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00:22:13.759 --> 00:22:16.440
Like then that's just like who I am as a person.
418
00:22:16.559 --> 00:22:20.279
So yeah, that feels more like.
419
00:22:20.519 --> 00:22:23.799
My motivator than than confidence. And there and and on stage,
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I do feel like I know what I'm doing and
421
00:22:26.279 --> 00:22:29.119
and and but but part of that is that I'm
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00:22:29.160 --> 00:22:31.920
a fearful person. And if you're a comedian, it's just
423
00:22:32.039 --> 00:22:36.079
you alone on stage with the microphone, and and it
424
00:22:36.200 --> 00:22:37.680
always resets.
425
00:22:37.240 --> 00:22:39.519
To the same like like like.
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Factors, and and you're in charge of the future, like
427
00:22:43.000 --> 00:22:45.240
you know what you know what you're gonna say, and
428
00:22:45.279 --> 00:22:49.000
you know what is improvised, and you know where for
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00:22:49.039 --> 00:22:50.599
the most part, what the beats are. You know what
430
00:22:50.680 --> 00:22:52.680
I mean, and and and when you when it when
431
00:22:52.720 --> 00:22:57.200
it slips into too like the unknown, that's because hopefully,
432
00:22:57.240 --> 00:22:59.079
if you're a professional, it's because you've done that on
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purpose and you'll allowing it to go.
434
00:23:01.200 --> 00:23:02.359
I think it's actually something.
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That very fearful people do, who don't who like to
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be in control of their environment.
437
00:23:08.839 --> 00:23:10.680
That makes a lot of sense. Yeah, it's like I'm
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00:23:10.720 --> 00:23:13.200
stepping off the ledge, but I know how far I'm
439
00:23:13.200 --> 00:23:15.200
going to fall, so I'm doing it on purpose, just
440
00:23:15.240 --> 00:23:17.759
to wake myself up a little bit. Okay, so you're
441
00:23:17.799 --> 00:23:19.920
a thrill seeker. That's cool. A lot of people jump
442
00:23:20.000 --> 00:23:23.000
out of planes. You're like, Hey, I wanted to go
443
00:23:23.079 --> 00:23:24.880
tell jokes on stage. That's what's up, man?
444
00:23:25.079 --> 00:23:26.480
Yeah, thank you.
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00:23:27.960 --> 00:23:31.079
Ruby. You are hilarious. We're super excited for you to
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00:23:31.119 --> 00:23:35.599
come to town. Got five shows, two Tomorrow, two Saturday,
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00:23:35.839 --> 00:23:39.119
one on Sunday, The Very Funny Ruby Set. Nick Ruby,
448
00:23:39.160 --> 00:23:40.680
is there anything else you want to promote for I'll
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00:23:40.720 --> 00:23:41.440
let you get out of here.
450
00:23:42.880 --> 00:23:44.640
Do I have anything that I have to promote?
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00:23:45.519 --> 00:23:45.960
I don't know.
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00:23:46.680 --> 00:23:49.319
No, I don't think so, probably just those shows. You
453
00:23:49.319 --> 00:23:50.240
should come to this show?
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00:23:52.079 --> 00:23:55.200
Well, hey Ruby, I appreciate you, and I'll see you
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00:23:55.200 --> 00:23:58.519
this weekend. Nick over at Heliums letting me open for you,
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00:23:58.599 --> 00:24:00.640
so I'll be with you this week.
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00:24:02.119 --> 00:24:02.559
That's great.
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I look forward to meeting you.
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00:24:03.839 --> 00:24:06.160
All right, we'll see how it goes back on the radio,
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no problem. Have a fun drive through. All the hell
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00:24:09.200 --> 00:24:11.519
is real signs it is real.
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I'll talk to you.
463
00:24:14.240 --> 00:24:14.440
Yeah.
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The thing I want to promote at the end is
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the rapture. I just learned how.
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00:24:21.160 --> 00:24:23.839
That's what's all right. Drive safe and see you tomorrow.
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Check check check one two three. We're live, baby, Welcome
2
00:00:04.919 --> 00:00:08.080
back to the podcast. Thank you for pressing play. Got
3
00:00:08.119 --> 00:00:10.160
a cool interview for you at the end of the podcast,
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as always with comedian Ruby Setnik. She's hilarious. She's coming
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to Raleigh in October, so make sure if you're listening
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00:00:19.120 --> 00:00:21.000
to Raleigh you go get tickets to see her. You
7
00:00:21.000 --> 00:00:26.280
can go follow her on Instagram at Ruby Setnik. She
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00:00:26.440 --> 00:00:29.679
was awesome. I got to open for her this past
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00:00:29.679 --> 00:00:34.119
weekend in Indie. I'm telling you don't miss when she
10
00:00:34.240 --> 00:00:36.840
comes through because she's awesome. But you'll hear about that
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in her interview. How you doing. You're having a good week.
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I know you're not doing as good as me because
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I got my Facebook consumer Privacy user profile litigation settlement
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for six dollars and thirty eight cents. Don't you broke
15
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bitches talk to me about having money. I got more
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money than all y'all. Bro you pour pieces of shit.
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Six dollars and thirty eight cents. I don't even know
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what a consumer privacy user profile litigation settlement is, but
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I can't imagine it means that my data got breach,
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somebody took it and sold it. To somebody else for
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a little more than six dollars and thirty eight cents.
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But thank you, Mark Zuckerberg. I can sweep peacefully knowing
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that that's how much my Facebook's worth. Hey, how much
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should we give this guy?
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Huh?
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You know, we kind of gave away all of his
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personal shensheit of information. Yeah, fuck them chicks, dollars tell
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them to get out of here.
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Yeah, that's it's basically what happened. That's what all companies
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are doing to us now. Dude, we are all worth
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about six dollars and thirty eight cents to all these companies.
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They don't even care at this point. Dude, I read
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today that uh PlayStation said starting January twenty twenty eight,
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they're going to stop making physical copies of video games.
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So if you want to get a new video game
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after that, it's just it's gonna be digital. We're not
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gonna own anything, bro. Like it's nuts. And I know
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you're thinking, like, well, I don't play video games, so
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I don't care. This is how it starts. They do
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like this is the easiest thing to do, Like they
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did it with streaming services and movies, so like, oh well,
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I bought Toy Story two on Paramount, but then Paramount
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lost its right, so now I can't watch toys. Now
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I got go on Disney. I gotta sign up for Disney.
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We don't own anything. We're just chasing every single subscription.
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It's fucking ridiculous. It's just greedy as hell. And there
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was a bill that got passed yesterday too. It was
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to make sure that old games were still playable after
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the servers or the licensing ran out. It got the vote,
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got killed in the Senate because the politicians don't care.
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On Microsoft, they're all throwing the politicians a shit ton
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of money going yeah, no, no, no, you wanna know what's
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gonna happen. We're gonna put this game out digitally, and
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then when our servers don't have enough space for it anymore,
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we're gonna delete it. And those people are gonna cry,
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fuck it. We'll send them six dollars and thirty eight cents.
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That'll make them happy, right, It's like that's how much
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they're like just waving us away, like get out here, please,
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you're you're complaining, you're crying, Please take your six dollars.
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Don't look me in the eyes. It's crazy. Man, I
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know you might be thinking, I don't play video games.
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I don't care. That's how everything works. The CEOs are like, yes,
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I need to make a little bit more money because
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I don't have enough yachts. Actually, I need another house.
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The rich guy next to me got another house. I
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need one. So I'm gonna need you to make this
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law that makes me more money. Yeah, but sir, as
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a politician, I'm supposed to be protecting the rights of
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my constituents. Yeah, what if I give you a bunch
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of money? Well, okay, fuck my constituents. How much you
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said you're gonna give them in the settlement? Six dollars
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and thirty eight cents. Oh, they should be happy for that.
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It's crazy, dude. It's just like, I don't know. It's
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one of those things where you're like reading it and
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you're like, Hi, we we should fight the power. We
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must make a change. And then my hypocrite ass is
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pre ordering Grand Theft Auto six. I pre ordered a
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digital copy of a video game. That's how stupid I am. Dude.
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Back in the day, when you pre ordered a game,
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it's so that you could get it the first night
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it came out. When you had to like go stand
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at a Blockbuster at eleven thirty, stand around with thirty
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other people, going, oh, yo, this game's supposed to be sick.
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The graphics are really cool, Yeah, but what about the story?
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Y'all?
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Fuck the story. You know we're gonna get in there
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and just kill hookers, that kind of stuff. And you
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wanted to get it because if you didn't pre order it,
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everybody would go get the game and then you'd have
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to wait until they restock. Your buddies had already beaten
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the story mode. They were on online multiplayer. At that point,
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you were falling behind, so you had to pre order it.
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But now they're like, yeah, why don't you pre order
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this digital copy of a game that doesn't run out
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just so that we can run our numbers up for
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Q two. And what did we do? Y' y'all? Y'all,
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y'all'll do that. Thank you, Rockstar. This game's going to
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be sick. We've been waiting on it for fifteen years. Rockstar.
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I believe. I believe the number was six billion dollars
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they made with pre orders. It doesn't sound real. I
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could be making that up. This is a podcast run
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by a nobody I could be lying, but that's what
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I saw on the internet. I choose to believe. So
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it's like, you want to change something, but also I
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really want to play Grand Theft Auto six, So you know,
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like you compromise your morals. You're happy with your six
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dollars and thirty eight cents, Go fuck yourself, get out here.
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That's basically what happens. Man. It's whatever. AI is going
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to take all of our jobs anyway, everything's everything is
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what it is. We're done, wrap it up, it's over.
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There's no hope. Each your eat your video game, or
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each your hamburgers while you're playing your video games. Hamburgers
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aren't even going to be made by human beings. I
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just read this thing that said scientists developed a program
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called Burger AI. Those like the dumbest people in AI.
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All the other AI people are.
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Like, we're going to make security systems that we're going
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to make the new monetary currency, and we're going to
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boo boo book.
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There were guys that were just like, you know, one
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of the robots made hamburgers.
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They're like, Jesus crises guys again.
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Who let them in here? Get them out of here?
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But anyway, they made burger AI. They trained it on
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thousands of burger recipes to learn what people love about flavor, texture, nutrition,
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and even sustainability. I've never heard someone describe a hamburger
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and make it gross, but flavor, texture, nutrients, just say.
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We trained it on burger recipes to find the best one.
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What about the sustainability of the hamburger? Can you not
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make my burger sound gross? And then they did a
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taste test with blind taste tests, and two of the
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AI designed burgers actually matched or beat a Big Mac
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in flavor and overall enjoyment. We still got time, humans,
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We still got time. Dude. They can only make one
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that tastes as good as a fucking big mac. Big
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macs are gross, dude. You remember the first time like
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you tried a big Mac because you were like, I
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gotta try big Mac. I had never tried one before.
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I think the first one, the first time I had one,
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I was like twelve, because up until that point in
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my McDonald's career, I could only eat like the kids
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meal hamburgers. I was wettle. I grew a little bit
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and I was like no, no, no, I'm big boy. Now
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let me get that big Mac had it gross. I
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tried it, I don't know, probably six seven years later,
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and I was like, maybe it was just my young
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taste button. Try it again. Just fucking big Mac suck.
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And AI can only make a burger that's as good
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as a big Mac, So we still got time. We're
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still winning. You see that thing. Ford had to rehire
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three hundred human engineers because they finally figured out that
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AI wasn't getting it done.
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Hey, guys, you know how we just wigd you off
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and kind of ruin your life, made you think about
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picking a new career field. Will you come back because
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the robot's just not getting it done?
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Well?
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Yeah, sure. Are you guys gonna pay us what we
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were making?
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No, we're gonna pay you wes, But aren't you happy
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to have your job back?
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We're winning right now. Everything in our economy is hinging
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on AI being good and Ford's rehiring human beings and
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burger AI's making fucking big Max. Everything's okay. I'm sorry
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I'm being negative. It's not I'm not trying to be negative.
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Just reading the news I am hyped about speaking of
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good news. The uh world cups still going on, and
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if you haven't gotten into it. If you want to
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do a dude, I don't go fuck about shocker, shocker, stupid.
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I witter we. I had somebody call call into the
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radio the other days. I was talking about the World Cup,
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like the Koreans and the Mexicans were like having a party.
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It was awesome, Like everybody's just super excited about the
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World Cup and being in a different country and seeing
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what's cool about that country, and everybody's having a good time.
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So I was talking about that and this guy calls
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up and he goes, Hi, Mayan, why why do you
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keep talking about the World Cup? And I was like,
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I don't know. It's kind of like the biggest thing
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going on in the world right now. He's like, well,
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I don't know. Me and my buddies were just wondering
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why you keep talking about it, because in that a
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foreign sport, it's like, come on, dude, enjoy it.
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Man.
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It's it's the biggest thing going on right now. And
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the US finally has a good team. They're playing tonight.
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Hopefully they beat Bosnia and her goad. I'm not even
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gonna try to her Goatsia. I don't know. We're playing
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two fucking countries. That's how good we are. They want
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to keep us from winning. They're throwing multiple countries at us.
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We're gonna win, and then we probably end up got
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a playing end up having to play Belgium with hopefully
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we beat them too. But I'm telling you, get into it.
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It's fun. Uh My girlfriend Amy, she doesn't like soccer
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because even though she's British and you would think that
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they're you know, brought up loving the game of football.
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Her whole family thinks that soccers for pussies because they're
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a rugby family. But I keep having the games on
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and I don't know if it was Yes, it had
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to be the day before where it was Brazil and Japan.
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That game was sick, and then I forget who was
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the next game. I think it was Germany Paraguay and
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they're going back and forth. Germany should have beat them
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on paper by you know, two three goals. Everybody's like,
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Paraguay sucks us beat them. Germany's gonna make a mockery
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of Paraguay. Man they end up going to pks and
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like that, you felt the pressure turn the volume up,
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the commentators going nuts. Aims starts rooting for the Paraguayans,
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and she's like, oh, I lock sucking Now this is
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fun because they won and everybody in Paraguay they like
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pan the camera to you know, back in Paraguay and
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everybody's losing their shit. It was the coolest thing that
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ever happened to them, you know what I mean. It's
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like little stuff like that. You're like, Okay, this is cool.
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I gotta get I gotta get into this. This is awesome.
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But I did feel bad. Well, I guess I didn't
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really feel bad because Sah was the Gemmans, But did
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you guys see the uh they were like trying to
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figure out one last person to take the penalty kick
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when they were doing the shootout at the end, and
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there was like three German players that didn't want to
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take the last one because of the pressure, because of
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the implications, and so they sent out like a center back,
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one of their defenders or something that had never take
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a penalty kick before, and he just sent it to
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the moon. And at first everybody was mad at that guy.
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They're like, how do you do that, dude? Come on,
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you're a professional. And they're like, oh, he's never taken
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a PK before, and then they go back and look
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at the video, and he was the only one who
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was like, yeah, I'll go up and do it. All
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the other players said no. And you want to call
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him soft, you want to get mad at him. But
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then you got to remember that other countries take soccer
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a lot more serious than we do in the States.
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If they miss that and they're supposed to make it,
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they're getting death threats. They probably can't live in Germany anymore,
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you know what I mean, Like we already have crazy
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people here DM and death threats the you know, people
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in the major leagues or the NFL if they don't
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hit their parway bro in Germany say I'll put you
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on the train if you miss the PK. So I
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gotta be honest. I don't fault them for not stepping
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up and taking that penalty kick, but shout out to Paraguay.
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All right, let's uh, let's get to your headline of
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the week, and then we'll get to this interview with
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comedian Ruby set Nick. This is a this is a
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Hall of Fame story right here. A woman in Florida
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denied owning a bag of cocaine that fell out of
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her buttocks while getting booked into jail. She was pulled
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over for a traffic violation and started getting a little
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animated with the police officer, which led her to getting arrested. Which,
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first of all, this whole thing could have been avoided
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if she just played it cool. But you know, she
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had cocaine in her ass, she was probably getting all
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lamped up. She went through an X ray machine, which
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showed that the drugs hidden in her lower region, and
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when she was taken to another room, she tried to
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cover her butt, but the drugs fell out and she
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denied knowing anything about it, which I like, I know,
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this person's obviously not the smartest human being on the planet,
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but come on, bag of coke falls out of your butt.
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You just got to be like, all right, you got me.
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That's on me, because the excuse you tell your parents
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when they find you with a bag of weed in
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high school, you're like, oh, I don't know whose that is.
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That must be my friends. You can't do that when
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the drugs fall out of your ass. You know where'd
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this come from? Well, I don't know where those drugs.
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Someone must have put those in my butt when I
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wasn't looking. How does that happen. You know what I mean,
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it's crazy, But be safe for the fourth of July,
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America's two hundred and fiftieth birthday. We've been here so long,
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quite a bit longer than most countries. Actually, we're the
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oldest country if you didn't know, are we two hundred
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and fifty years? That's cool. Be safe, seriously, though, the
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cops are going to be out, and also you know
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you're going to be drunken, white and fireworks, so don't
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do anything stupid. But let's get to this interview with
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comedian Ruby Setnik. What's going on? Ruby Tie?
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Driving from Nashville, Tennessee to Dayton, Ohio.
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Oh man, that that's a drive that'll make you think
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about life a little bit.
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As sure. As we were listening to the radio, we
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listened to a what would you call it? We was
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a Southern guy.
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He was preaching about the rapture, which found awesome.
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Yeah, that's a good way to pass the time. And
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then I'm sure you'll pass a few hell Is Real
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signs on the way up there too, So.
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Yeah, it's super optimistic.
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Vines.
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On this ride, we were a little we were celebrating.
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It's my boyfriend's birthday last night, and I hung over
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this morning and we had to get up really early
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so that we could get to Dayton, Ohio. And then
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we were renting a car, which is sort of like
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a nightmare for me in terms of like just just
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things that one has to do in their life.
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And then I was trying to get waters.
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At the like single vending machine at the liminal space
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where you rent cars at the airport.
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Which is for airplanes. So when there's cars are there,
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it's just kind of like the worst.
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Possible case for like an interior setting, Like it's like
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the lights are like blue, you know what I mean,
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and everybody wants you to leave, even the people that
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you're paying. And we found the single vending machine under
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a blinking hospital light, and then it wouldn't give me water,
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which I desperately needed.
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Like I can't express you enough.
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I was like dry all the way on the inside
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of my body. And then I started to hit the
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vending machine. And then Ben and my boyfriend afterwards told
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me that some French people were recording me on their
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cell phones and we were laughing thinking about them taking
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that footage home to the people of France and.
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They see the Americans, they hit the machines for their bread.
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Then, oh my god. You know what my follow up
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question was going to be, can you describe the people
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who haven't seen you before what your comedy is like?
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But you did a good Oh yeah.
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That's for his monologuing, probably, dude, that was hilarious.
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That's my favorite part of my day so far was
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a listen to that. So thank you. I'm sorry you're
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having a tough day, but you know, from my.
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Point of view, that was very happy to be in
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the Midwest.
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I'm really excited to find out about this charm that
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I keep hearing about.
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I've yet to witness it, but sure it's coming.
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Ohio people they're a little grouchy, so I wouldn't you know,
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I wouldn't bank your Midwest niceness on them. But people
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here in Indie are almost too nice, so you may
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or may not enjoy that. It's one of those things
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where you kind of look over your shoulders.
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Balance out into like a nice nothing.
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Yeah, that'll be good. I mean that's what life is anyway,
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you just bouncing out and doing nice nothing, which I
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absolutely I got to ask because there's a thing people
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say now that like comedians are the modern day philosophers,
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and I normally don't think that that's a thing, but
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I was listening to your set and you said the
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experience of being alive is profoundly uncomfortable with little to
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no relief, And I gotta be honest, I think comedians
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are modern day philosophers, or at least you are.
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Well.
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Can I tell you what was happening when I said that? Yeah,
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I'd never said that on stage before, but that day
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I found out later did I was starting to get sick,
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so I so I was.
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Just speaking about out I felt.
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But and I thought I was describing what life was like,
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But looking back, I think I was just describing what
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the beginning of.
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A fever film.
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You just had the flu, and it wasn't that day
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I had.
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Flu, which is profoundly uncomfortable with Really.
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Yes, it is well, all right, So other than being sick,
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how was being up on the Netflix as a joke
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introducing Showcase? Because I didn't know Netflix had a YouTube either,
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so that was, Yeah, that was kind of cool to
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figure out. But what was that whole experience, like like
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getting brought on by Tom Papa, being in a nice
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theater like what what was it? I don't know.
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I think, well, you know, you get it's kind of
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like a lobster and a pot kind of thing in
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terms of different opportunities that one gets as they continued down, Uh,
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as they continue force. Like you know, by the time
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something like that is happening, it's not as as you
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would think because something just slightly less scary has already happened.
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You know what I mean.
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Yeah, so you're used to it. Okay, that makes sense.
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You're used to it.
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And then also, I mean, and that's how a standard is.
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You're like, it's like you're kind of driving blying down
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the highway and there's not it.
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I guess it gets worse and worse, but you don't
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notice it. How can I say it in a way
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where it sounds like I like it? Because I do
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like it.
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I mean, you obviously like it. You've been doing it
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for a while, you like. I kind of understand where
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you're coming from though, because you started or stand up
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in high school, which is crazy because I'm like trying
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to think back to when I was in high school,
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zero confidence and being up on stage all by yourself
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in high school, Like, did you have confidence back then
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or you just nuts or like what what what made.
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You do it? Well, let me think about that.
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I think it's less confidence and more like, uh, maybe stubbornness,
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like I because I knew that because most things you
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can do, like most things that are creative are artistic,
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you can do and and and it's not obvious whether
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or not or it's not straightforward whether or not it's
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any good, you know. And when I did stand up,
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it was just really clear to everyone involved and it
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was really bad and that I sort of felt like
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like it was like I was being challenged.
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I was being challenged, you know, and and so that
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was exciting and and then and then and then it
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continued to be bad for like two for like two
404
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for two to five years.
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It's still bad, Like it's still bad.
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Not not these shows coming up at Helium Comedy.
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00:21:43.720 --> 00:21:46.119
You could should come. You should definitely come to the
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00:21:46.160 --> 00:21:50.160
shows which will be good. I like, stand up is
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difficult and remains mysterious and uh, it's it's like different
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every time you do it. And that's what I like
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about it is that it's but but it's not.
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And I think that brings me back because when when
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I think about how I feel like, deep down at
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my center when I think about doing stand up and
415
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being a comedian, that feeling is fear. I that's my
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primary feeling.
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Like then that's just like who I am as a person.
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So yeah, that feels more like.
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My motivator than than confidence. And there and and on stage,
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I do feel like I know what I'm doing and
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and and but but part of that is that I'm
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a fearful person. And if you're a comedian, it's just
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you alone on stage with the microphone, and and it
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always resets.
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To the same like like like.
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Factors, and and you're in charge of the future, like
427
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you know what you know what you're gonna say, and
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you know what is improvised, and you know where for
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the most part, what the beats are. You know what
430
00:22:50.680 --> 00:22:52.680
I mean, and and and when you when it when
431
00:22:52.720 --> 00:22:57.200
it slips into too like the unknown, that's because hopefully,
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if you're a professional, it's because you've done that on
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purpose and you'll allowing it to go.
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I think it's actually something.
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That very fearful people do, who don't who like to
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be in control of their environment.
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00:23:08.839 --> 00:23:10.680
That makes a lot of sense. Yeah, it's like I'm
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stepping off the ledge, but I know how far I'm
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00:23:13.200 --> 00:23:15.200
going to fall, so I'm doing it on purpose, just
440
00:23:15.240 --> 00:23:17.759
to wake myself up a little bit. Okay, so you're
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a thrill seeker. That's cool. A lot of people jump
442
00:23:20.000 --> 00:23:23.000
out of planes. You're like, Hey, I wanted to go
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tell jokes on stage. That's what's up, man?
444
00:23:25.079 --> 00:23:26.480
Yeah, thank you.
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00:23:27.960 --> 00:23:31.079
Ruby. You are hilarious. We're super excited for you to
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come to town. Got five shows, two Tomorrow, two Saturday,
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00:23:35.839 --> 00:23:39.119
one on Sunday, The Very Funny Ruby Set. Nick Ruby,
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00:23:39.160 --> 00:23:40.680
is there anything else you want to promote for I'll
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00:23:40.720 --> 00:23:41.440
let you get out of here.
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Do I have anything that I have to promote?
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I don't know.
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00:23:46.680 --> 00:23:49.319
No, I don't think so, probably just those shows. You
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should come to this show?
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Well, hey Ruby, I appreciate you, and I'll see you
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00:23:55.200 --> 00:23:58.519
this weekend. Nick over at Heliums letting me open for you,
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so I'll be with you this week.
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That's great.
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I look forward to meeting you.
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00:24:03.839 --> 00:24:06.160
All right, we'll see how it goes back on the radio,
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no problem. Have a fun drive through. All the hell
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is real signs it is real.
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I'll talk to you.
463
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Yeah.
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The thing I want to promote at the end is
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the rapture. I just learned how.
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That's what's all right. Drive safe and see you tomorrow.
