WEBVTT
00:00:00.400 --> 00:00:03.279
Welcome to the Ignite Your Flame podcast.
00:00:03.439 --> 00:00:06.000
Hi, I'm your host, Randy Howell.
00:00:06.240 --> 00:00:14.000
This podcast is about using the science of emotional intelligence to develop a higher representation of your potential.
00:00:14.240 --> 00:00:28.879
If you have ever hit a roadblock in your personal growth and felt stuck, the insights from this podcast can really open your eyes and wake you up to a whole new way of envisioning and developing your potential.
00:00:29.120 --> 00:00:30.640
Let's get started.
00:00:31.359 --> 00:00:34.000
How do you create an edge in life?
00:00:34.240 --> 00:00:43.600
You know, when when you enter a situation that you have an advantage that gives you an edge to be able to land really well.
00:00:43.840 --> 00:00:45.200
How do you do that?
00:00:45.520 --> 00:00:52.799
What I like to do is to separate an internal edge from an external edge.
00:00:53.759 --> 00:00:57.119
We often think that an external edge is going to make the deal work.
00:00:57.200 --> 00:01:07.040
It's going to say, you know, if I only have this, if I have this piece of equipment, I have to have this coach, if I have that, it's going to create an edge in me and it's going to give me the advantage that I'm seeking.
00:01:07.280 --> 00:01:11.120
Maybe I don't control everything, but I have a big edge.
00:01:11.280 --> 00:01:12.480
How does that work?
00:01:12.719 --> 00:01:16.959
First of all, have you ever wondered why edges don't work?
00:01:17.359 --> 00:01:19.280
Particularly external edges.
00:01:19.439 --> 00:01:22.079
Let me give you an example from a friend of mine.
00:01:22.400 --> 00:01:28.319
Just so happens that a guy comes to my friend and says, Look, our high school, we're tanking.
00:01:28.400 --> 00:01:32.239
We cannot afford the equipment to equip our golf team.
00:01:32.400 --> 00:01:39.439
And we can't give them enough equipment, even for the younger ones who are learning how to do this, to be able to be able to do anything.
00:01:39.519 --> 00:01:40.239
We can't teach them.
00:01:40.319 --> 00:01:41.200
We're losing stuff.
00:01:41.359 --> 00:01:45.439
And for God forbid, the left-handed people, can you help us?
00:01:45.760 --> 00:01:53.760
And what my enterprising friend did, he's obviously really connected to the golf community in our area.
00:01:53.920 --> 00:01:59.680
And then what he did is he started really asking people if they have any old golf equipment and stuff like that.
00:01:59.920 --> 00:02:05.040
And what he got supplied that high school forever.
00:02:05.200 --> 00:02:09.680
It's like triple, quadruple the amount of equipment that they thought they were going to get.
00:02:09.919 --> 00:02:24.479
And what happened is that what my friend discovered is that lots of people look at a putter that look at a new piece of equipment and will spend really good money for it, anticipating that it will give them an edge, okay, in their golf game.
00:02:24.639 --> 00:02:31.039
And so they buy it and they use it for a couple months, and all of a sudden it gets back in the back and it's just sitting there.
00:02:31.280 --> 00:02:43.680
So what my friend did, he's actually secured all these pieces of equipment that other golfers had said, oh, it's going to create an edge for me, and then found out that external edge somehow had a limit.
00:02:43.919 --> 00:02:46.560
And then that equipment was available.
00:02:46.800 --> 00:02:50.800
And consequently, the high school got really good equipment.
00:02:51.039 --> 00:03:00.000
Understand, this is equipment that top-end type of financial people were buying for themselves to improve their golf game to get that edge.
00:03:00.159 --> 00:03:05.439
And so these kids in high school suddenly had dream equipment compared to them.
00:03:05.680 --> 00:03:11.439
What I want you to understand that shows you the limit of an external edge.
00:03:11.759 --> 00:03:15.599
A piece of equipment can help you, okay?
00:03:15.759 --> 00:03:19.280
And if it's the equipment that's in the way, you're there.
00:03:19.520 --> 00:03:31.039
But what most people find is they get an external edge and they still come face to face with the guy looking at them in the mirror themselves.
00:03:31.759 --> 00:03:37.199
And so ultimately what we're going to end up having to do is not just have an external edge.
00:03:37.280 --> 00:03:38.080
That's easy.
00:03:38.240 --> 00:03:39.520
It's so easy to do that.
00:03:39.759 --> 00:03:41.840
Well, this is going to make all the difference in the world.
00:03:42.080 --> 00:03:50.800
But to recognize what really matters and creating an advantage in your life is the internal edge.
00:03:51.680 --> 00:04:07.120
That internal edge is found by actually going deep inside yourself and recognizing that when you don't want to face something and you shy away from it, what you're really doing is you're looking at a teacher.
00:04:08.400 --> 00:04:27.120
You're looking at a teacher that if you have the courage, if you have the discipline, if you have the calmness, and if you have the clarity of mind, that to engage that mistake, engage that situation, and master it, what happens is you learn no longer to fear that.
00:04:27.360 --> 00:04:31.360
Understand, you do not learn from success.
00:04:32.240 --> 00:04:33.839
Your brain never did.
00:04:34.079 --> 00:04:37.040
What you learn is from failure.
00:04:37.279 --> 00:04:44.399
And as you fail, if you have the idea that, oh, in my failure, the failure becomes the teacher.
00:04:45.360 --> 00:04:50.639
When you do that, you begin to say, oh, it's not like I have to conquer anything.
00:04:51.120 --> 00:05:03.120
My job is to master myself, to master this aspect of my performance, this aspect of the edge that I do or don't have in my interaction with life.
00:05:03.279 --> 00:05:14.319
Because ultimately, friends, what you're doing, you are projecting your beliefs about your capacity to manage the uncertainties of life.
00:05:14.399 --> 00:05:16.240
I mean real challenges in life.
00:05:16.399 --> 00:05:22.160
And you're projecting those beliefs upon your life, the stories of your life.
00:05:22.319 --> 00:05:27.839
And what you're going to discover is where where the weak spots are.
00:05:28.240 --> 00:05:35.120
But the weak spots are there to be exposed so that you can master them.
00:05:35.279 --> 00:05:40.720
So literally, as you make the mistakes, your learning say, okay, I can master that.
00:05:40.879 --> 00:05:42.560
I now have a greater edge.
00:05:42.720 --> 00:05:44.560
I no longer fear losing.
00:05:44.720 --> 00:05:49.040
I no longer am just all bent up of shape about having to win.
00:05:49.279 --> 00:05:53.120
What if really it really came down to it?
00:05:53.360 --> 00:06:02.879
As the edge was the beliefs that you have about your ability to manage uncertainty as you meet it upon the road of your life.
00:06:03.199 --> 00:06:03.839
Yeah.
00:06:04.160 --> 00:06:12.959
And all of a sudden you realize that that edge is about your ability to perform under stressful conditions.
00:06:13.199 --> 00:06:14.879
That edge is earned.
00:06:15.120 --> 00:06:21.439
That edge is found when you master the fear that has stopped you before, that has been a roadblock.
00:06:21.680 --> 00:06:27.279
And in learning to master it, and you've got to have the courage, you have to have the compassion to be able to master it.
00:06:27.439 --> 00:06:31.439
What happens is you end up truly with an internal edge.
00:06:31.680 --> 00:06:33.759
You're no longer fearing it.
00:06:34.800 --> 00:06:39.279
You look at it and say, Oh, failure is my teacher.
00:06:40.879 --> 00:06:42.720
Failure is my teacher.
00:06:42.959 --> 00:06:50.560
And I can learn to achieve by being a really good failing person.
00:06:50.720 --> 00:06:54.399
I can fail, I can learn, I master that lesson.
00:06:54.480 --> 00:07:11.360
I'm no longer caught in the loop of replaying that tape over and over again, of meeting that moment in the road of life and failing again and again and again, but you keep doing the same things over and over again and accepting the failure, you master it.
00:07:11.600 --> 00:07:18.800
So when you meet that demon in the road again, you've mastered that aspect of yourself.
00:07:19.360 --> 00:07:20.000
Yeah.
00:07:20.639 --> 00:07:22.800
This is the internal edge.
00:07:23.040 --> 00:07:29.199
It's the internal edge that drives whatever edge you have in anything that you do.
00:07:29.920 --> 00:07:36.639
Because your sense of being of who you are in the world is no longer attached to your winning.
00:07:36.800 --> 00:07:38.800
It's no longer attached to your losing.
00:07:38.959 --> 00:07:43.120
It's no longer attached to I matter if I win.
00:07:43.439 --> 00:07:48.639
It's no longer attached to my worth is dependent upon my performance by winning.
00:07:48.800 --> 00:07:54.639
And it's also my adequacy, who I am as a human being, is not there either.
00:07:54.800 --> 00:08:02.480
What you've found is the inherent worth living within you that you're beginning to grow a different human being from.
00:08:02.879 --> 00:08:06.639
Friends, this is the edge that you really seek.
00:08:07.439 --> 00:08:14.399
The external edge, all those golf clubs that got donated to the high school, those were just a diversion.
00:08:15.279 --> 00:08:21.600
They helped you and had you believing that you had an edge with this new piece of equipment.
00:08:21.759 --> 00:08:26.399
But at the end, what happens is that no, that wasn't where the problem was.
00:08:26.879 --> 00:08:28.800
The problem was right here.
00:08:29.040 --> 00:08:31.680
It's not going to be corrected out there.
00:08:32.320 --> 00:08:38.080
And what I'm asking of you to do is just take stock yourself and go, you know something?
00:08:38.960 --> 00:08:45.759
Have I really come to understand how valuable I am as a human being in the world of the universe?
00:08:47.039 --> 00:08:52.879
What if life really wanted to be in partnership, wanted to be in relationship with you?
00:08:53.120 --> 00:08:54.399
And there you are.
00:08:55.039 --> 00:08:59.120
You're coming forth because life is willing you into being.
00:08:59.440 --> 00:09:08.000
And you can interpret that any way you want, but the thing is, is recognizing that the truth is, is to a great extent, life is on your side.
00:09:08.240 --> 00:09:14.960
But if you insist on running, trying to swim upstream, it's going to make it more difficult.
00:09:15.279 --> 00:09:28.080
But as you learn the edge, you discover is that I can grow an edge, I can grow a new way of being in the world from the fertile ground of knowing that I have inherent worth.
00:09:28.480 --> 00:09:28.799
Okay?
00:09:29.279 --> 00:09:30.879
Friends, that's the ticket.
00:09:31.120 --> 00:09:35.519
Out of that, what you discover is that you're not defined by your performances.
00:09:36.559 --> 00:09:39.039
It's not defined by winning or losing.
00:09:39.360 --> 00:09:47.759
It's defined by the mind, the empowered mind that you bring into the moment of meeting the challenges of living.
00:09:48.559 --> 00:09:50.399
That can be taught.
00:09:50.639 --> 00:09:58.480
And what I want you to recognize is now we've gone through another piece in this book and we've opened it up and taken a look at it.
00:09:58.879 --> 00:10:07.519
And the truth is, are you ready to look at your failures, your mistakes, as an opportunity to learn?
00:10:08.480 --> 00:10:10.480
It's not as easy as you think.
00:10:11.440 --> 00:10:20.240
But as you do that, failure truly becomes an opportunity of growing beyond what you can do right now.
00:10:20.559 --> 00:10:31.039
And getting the edge, getting the advantage is about truly beginning to recognize that it's always been there.
00:10:31.360 --> 00:10:37.759
And the failures forced you to look at it and to grow it and to build it into the human being that you can be.
00:10:38.080 --> 00:10:39.519
Come and learn, friends.
00:10:39.759 --> 00:10:40.720
Come and learn.
00:10:40.960 --> 00:10:41.840
Thank you.
00:00:00.400 --> 00:00:03.279
Welcome to the Ignite Your Flame podcast.
00:00:03.439 --> 00:00:06.000
Hi, I'm your host, Randy Howell.
00:00:06.240 --> 00:00:14.000
This podcast is about using the science of emotional intelligence to develop a higher representation of your potential.
00:00:14.240 --> 00:00:28.879
If you have ever hit a roadblock in your personal growth and felt stuck, the insights from this podcast can really open your eyes and wake you up to a whole new way of envisioning and developing your potential.
00:00:29.120 --> 00:00:30.640
Let's get started.
00:00:31.359 --> 00:00:34.000
How do you create an edge in life?
00:00:34.240 --> 00:00:43.600
You know, when when you enter a situation that you have an advantage that gives you an edge to be able to land really well.
00:00:43.840 --> 00:00:45.200
How do you do that?
00:00:45.520 --> 00:00:52.799
What I like to do is to separate an internal edge from an external edge.
00:00:53.759 --> 00:00:57.119
We often think that an external edge is going to make the deal work.
00:00:57.200 --> 00:01:07.040
It's going to say, you know, if I only have this, if I have this piece of equipment, I have to have this coach, if I have that, it's going to create an edge in me and it's going to give me the advantage that I'm seeking.
00:01:07.280 --> 00:01:11.120
Maybe I don't control everything, but I have a big edge.
00:01:11.280 --> 00:01:12.480
How does that work?
00:01:12.719 --> 00:01:16.959
First of all, have you ever wondered why edges don't work?
00:01:17.359 --> 00:01:19.280
Particularly external edges.
00:01:19.439 --> 00:01:22.079
Let me give you an example from a friend of mine.
00:01:22.400 --> 00:01:28.319
Just so happens that a guy comes to my friend and says, Look, our high school, we're tanking.
00:01:28.400 --> 00:01:32.239
We cannot afford the equipment to equip our golf team.
00:01:32.400 --> 00:01:39.439
And we can't give them enough equipment, even for the younger ones who are learning how to do this, to be able to be able to do anything.
00:01:39.519 --> 00:01:40.239
We can't teach them.
00:01:40.319 --> 00:01:41.200
We're losing stuff.
00:01:41.359 --> 00:01:45.439
And for God forbid, the left-handed people, can you help us?
00:01:45.760 --> 00:01:53.760
And what my enterprising friend did, he's obviously really connected to the golf community in our area.
00:01:53.920 --> 00:01:59.680
And then what he did is he started really asking people if they have any old golf equipment and stuff like that.
00:01:59.920 --> 00:02:05.040
And what he got supplied that high school forever.
00:02:05.200 --> 00:02:09.680
It's like triple, quadruple the amount of equipment that they thought they were going to get.
00:02:09.919 --> 00:02:24.479
And what happened is that what my friend discovered is that lots of people look at a putter that look at a new piece of equipment and will spend really good money for it, anticipating that it will give them an edge, okay, in their golf game.
00:02:24.639 --> 00:02:31.039
And so they buy it and they use it for a couple months, and all of a sudden it gets back in the back and it's just sitting there.
00:02:31.280 --> 00:02:43.680
So what my friend did, he's actually secured all these pieces of equipment that other golfers had said, oh, it's going to create an edge for me, and then found out that external edge somehow had a limit.
00:02:43.919 --> 00:02:46.560
And then that equipment was available.
00:02:46.800 --> 00:02:50.800
And consequently, the high school got really good equipment.
00:02:51.039 --> 00:03:00.000
Understand, this is equipment that top-end type of financial people were buying for themselves to improve their golf game to get that edge.
00:03:00.159 --> 00:03:05.439
And so these kids in high school suddenly had dream equipment compared to them.
00:03:05.680 --> 00:03:11.439
What I want you to understand that shows you the limit of an external edge.
00:03:11.759 --> 00:03:15.599
A piece of equipment can help you, okay?
00:03:15.759 --> 00:03:19.280
And if it's the equipment that's in the way, you're there.
00:03:19.520 --> 00:03:31.039
But what most people find is they get an external edge and they still come face to face with the guy looking at them in the mirror themselves.
00:03:31.759 --> 00:03:37.199
And so ultimately what we're going to end up having to do is not just have an external edge.
00:03:37.280 --> 00:03:38.080
That's easy.
00:03:38.240 --> 00:03:39.520
It's so easy to do that.
00:03:39.759 --> 00:03:41.840
Well, this is going to make all the difference in the world.
00:03:42.080 --> 00:03:50.800
But to recognize what really matters and creating an advantage in your life is the internal edge.
00:03:51.680 --> 00:04:07.120
That internal edge is found by actually going deep inside yourself and recognizing that when you don't want to face something and you shy away from it, what you're really doing is you're looking at a teacher.
00:04:08.400 --> 00:04:27.120
You're looking at a teacher that if you have the courage, if you have the discipline, if you have the calmness, and if you have the clarity of mind, that to engage that mistake, engage that situation, and master it, what happens is you learn no longer to fear that.
00:04:27.360 --> 00:04:31.360
Understand, you do not learn from success.
00:04:32.240 --> 00:04:33.839
Your brain never did.
00:04:34.079 --> 00:04:37.040
What you learn is from failure.
00:04:37.279 --> 00:04:44.399
And as you fail, if you have the idea that, oh, in my failure, the failure becomes the teacher.
00:04:45.360 --> 00:04:50.639
When you do that, you begin to say, oh, it's not like I have to conquer anything.
00:04:51.120 --> 00:05:03.120
My job is to master myself, to master this aspect of my performance, this aspect of the edge that I do or don't have in my interaction with life.
00:05:03.279 --> 00:05:14.319
Because ultimately, friends, what you're doing, you are projecting your beliefs about your capacity to manage the uncertainties of life.
00:05:14.399 --> 00:05:16.240
I mean real challenges in life.
00:05:16.399 --> 00:05:22.160
And you're projecting those beliefs upon your life, the stories of your life.
00:05:22.319 --> 00:05:27.839
And what you're going to discover is where where the weak spots are.
00:05:28.240 --> 00:05:35.120
But the weak spots are there to be exposed so that you can master them.
00:05:35.279 --> 00:05:40.720
So literally, as you make the mistakes, your learning say, okay, I can master that.
00:05:40.879 --> 00:05:42.560
I now have a greater edge.
00:05:42.720 --> 00:05:44.560
I no longer fear losing.
00:05:44.720 --> 00:05:49.040
I no longer am just all bent up of shape about having to win.
00:05:49.279 --> 00:05:53.120
What if really it really came down to it?
00:05:53.360 --> 00:06:02.879
As the edge was the beliefs that you have about your ability to manage uncertainty as you meet it upon the road of your life.
00:06:03.199 --> 00:06:03.839
Yeah.
00:06:04.160 --> 00:06:12.959
And all of a sudden you realize that that edge is about your ability to perform under stressful conditions.
00:06:13.199 --> 00:06:14.879
That edge is earned.
00:06:15.120 --> 00:06:21.439
That edge is found when you master the fear that has stopped you before, that has been a roadblock.
00:06:21.680 --> 00:06:27.279
And in learning to master it, and you've got to have the courage, you have to have the compassion to be able to master it.
00:06:27.439 --> 00:06:31.439
What happens is you end up truly with an internal edge.
00:06:31.680 --> 00:06:33.759
You're no longer fearing it.
00:06:34.800 --> 00:06:39.279
You look at it and say, Oh, failure is my teacher.
00:06:40.879 --> 00:06:42.720
Failure is my teacher.
00:06:42.959 --> 00:06:50.560
And I can learn to achieve by being a really good failing person.
00:06:50.720 --> 00:06:54.399
I can fail, I can learn, I master that lesson.
00:06:54.480 --> 00:07:11.360
I'm no longer caught in the loop of replaying that tape over and over again, of meeting that moment in the road of life and failing again and again and again, but you keep doing the same things over and over again and accepting the failure, you master it.
00:07:11.600 --> 00:07:18.800
So when you meet that demon in the road again, you've mastered that aspect of yourself.
00:07:19.360 --> 00:07:20.000
Yeah.
00:07:20.639 --> 00:07:22.800
This is the internal edge.
00:07:23.040 --> 00:07:29.199
It's the internal edge that drives whatever edge you have in anything that you do.
00:07:29.920 --> 00:07:36.639
Because your sense of being of who you are in the world is no longer attached to your winning.
00:07:36.800 --> 00:07:38.800
It's no longer attached to your losing.
00:07:38.959 --> 00:07:43.120
It's no longer attached to I matter if I win.
00:07:43.439 --> 00:07:48.639
It's no longer attached to my worth is dependent upon my performance by winning.
00:07:48.800 --> 00:07:54.639
And it's also my adequacy, who I am as a human being, is not there either.
00:07:54.800 --> 00:08:02.480
What you've found is the inherent worth living within you that you're beginning to grow a different human being from.
00:08:02.879 --> 00:08:06.639
Friends, this is the edge that you really seek.
00:08:07.439 --> 00:08:14.399
The external edge, all those golf clubs that got donated to the high school, those were just a diversion.
00:08:15.279 --> 00:08:21.600
They helped you and had you believing that you had an edge with this new piece of equipment.
00:08:21.759 --> 00:08:26.399
But at the end, what happens is that no, that wasn't where the problem was.
00:08:26.879 --> 00:08:28.800
The problem was right here.
00:08:29.040 --> 00:08:31.680
It's not going to be corrected out there.
00:08:32.320 --> 00:08:38.080
And what I'm asking of you to do is just take stock yourself and go, you know something?
00:08:38.960 --> 00:08:45.759
Have I really come to understand how valuable I am as a human being in the world of the universe?
00:08:47.039 --> 00:08:52.879
What if life really wanted to be in partnership, wanted to be in relationship with you?
00:08:53.120 --> 00:08:54.399
And there you are.
00:08:55.039 --> 00:08:59.120
You're coming forth because life is willing you into being.
00:08:59.440 --> 00:09:08.000
And you can interpret that any way you want, but the thing is, is recognizing that the truth is, is to a great extent, life is on your side.
00:09:08.240 --> 00:09:14.960
But if you insist on running, trying to swim upstream, it's going to make it more difficult.
00:09:15.279 --> 00:09:28.080
But as you learn the edge, you discover is that I can grow an edge, I can grow a new way of being in the world from the fertile ground of knowing that I have inherent worth.
00:09:28.480 --> 00:09:28.799
Okay?
00:09:29.279 --> 00:09:30.879
Friends, that's the ticket.
00:09:31.120 --> 00:09:35.519
Out of that, what you discover is that you're not defined by your performances.
00:09:36.559 --> 00:09:39.039
It's not defined by winning or losing.
00:09:39.360 --> 00:09:47.759
It's defined by the mind, the empowered mind that you bring into the moment of meeting the challenges of living.
00:09:48.559 --> 00:09:50.399
That can be taught.
00:09:50.639 --> 00:09:58.480
And what I want you to recognize is now we've gone through another piece in this book and we've opened it up and taken a look at it.
00:09:58.879 --> 00:10:07.519
And the truth is, are you ready to look at your failures, your mistakes, as an opportunity to learn?
00:10:08.480 --> 00:10:10.480
It's not as easy as you think.
00:10:11.440 --> 00:10:20.240
But as you do that, failure truly becomes an opportunity of growing beyond what you can do right now.
00:10:20.559 --> 00:10:31.039
And getting the edge, getting the advantage is about truly beginning to recognize that it's always been there.
00:10:31.360 --> 00:10:37.759
And the failures forced you to look at it and to grow it and to build it into the human being that you can be.
00:10:38.080 --> 00:10:39.519
Come and learn, friends.
00:10:39.759 --> 00:10:40.720
Come and learn.
00:10:40.960 --> 00:10:41.840
Thank you.
