Just Because You Can Carry It Doesn't Mean You Should I Christine Howe & Joy St. John

Christine Howe: the things that's made me so successful is I always just push through oversea and keep pushing to get things done. We hit North Carolina and there's a huge rainstorm. We're going and we hydroplane. I'm like, crap. It's okay. I've dealt with hydroplaning before I got it. What I wasn't anticipating was we get this strong gust of wind that literally, as I'm hydroplaning, hits the car and Pushes me into this concrete barricade. And I've literally T-boned that, spun around, and then hit a car. And my car was totaled. My mom and I could have been killed, and same with the other car. Now I'm still pushing through to get to these Monday morning meetings that I have for my client with the regulators. It's like the regulators don't wait. It wasn't until I finally was able to truly slow down and say, Joy, what is it? You can't just keep pushing. What you learn is like, just because you can carry it, that doesn't mean you should. Say that again because people don't understand that. Yes, you can push through, and yes, you can carry that, but it doesn't mean you should. Just because you can carry it doesn't mean you should. Welcome to Hyper Focus and High Performance with Christine Howe. Where we explore how you can work with your brain, build your dreams, and live on purpose with more clarity, creativity, and presence. Joy St. John helps businesses transform operational complexity into clear systems, smarter decisions, which I love, and sustainable growth. It reminds me a lot of results, relationships, and resilience moving along the way. After 25 years in corporate risk and compliance advisory. KPMG, HSB, PaySafe, ETrade, Sally Mae. She founded the Joyous Edge to help purpose-driven executives trade burnout and overcommitment for purpose, prioritization, and presence. I think you can tell why I'm so happy to welcome her today. Joy, thank you so much for joining me on the Hyper Focus and High Performance podcast. Christine, thank you so much for having me. I'm super excited to be here. I am so grateful to have you here today and partly because of your accomplishments, but I think mostly because of your journey and all that you have been humbly open to learning along the journey. So I like to start my podcasts and I just told you right before we pushed before we pushed record, which is I love the question. Who were you, Joy, when you were eight years old? Does anything come out? Any pictures, images, or memories? So I think back When I was eight years old, we were I think we were living in California and just moving back to New Hampshire. So we had moved to California when my dad went to art school in California. And so we moved out there from kindergarten to second grade and then moved back to New Hampshire. And so I was just coming back, you know, with my dad, my mom, my and my sisters. And so we had moved back into our house in New Hampshire and I had had friends from pre K, but you don't really get a lot of friend you know, it's like how many friends do you have in pre K? Maybe three. So I was moving into a new school, you know, maybe third grade, didn't really know anybody, just kind of I knew a couple of people, but I really kind of didn't feel like I fit in because I just didn't know anybody. I was a new kid in this smaller town school. So, you know, that's kind of where I was a little bit back then. It's just sweet to see like a little glimpse sometimes of these moments that form us. And so you didn't feel like you're fitting in. There's this moment kind of vulnerable and on the outside. Let's flash forward to 18. Okay. So now let's flash forward to your eighteen. What were you like when you're eighteen? So eighteen, actually I was already in college because I started college at 17. My birthday's in September. So fast forward, I was a freshman in college. And new place, you know, I had done the summer, I I actually went to summer school at Florida State to try to get adjusted and the culture and and stuff. Cause it was a big change from New Hampshire going to Florida and Tallahassee. It was the deep south pretty much. So Yeah. It was crazy. That is a big switch. I know Tallahassee. That's different. Okay. It is then like Portsmouth, New Hampshire, I think the whole town was population thirty thousand at the time. The campus at Florida State when I went my freshman year was thirty thousand. So it was a big adjustment getting coming from small town to this big, ginormous school. my goodness, that is quite a glimpse. And what I love about this is These little pieces that are still you, which is you like to push the throttle forward and do it faster than other people and better, faster and better at the same time smoothing out processes. I've seen this in you live. And so it's really fun to highlight this. Okay, so then you became an adult and you did your thing and you spent 25 years in corporate risk and compliance, eventually becoming a managing director at KPMG. So when you're there, you're in the middle of this, how would you have defined success at that time? So at the time I was living successful. I had an amazing career. I had amazing friends or have, I still think I have amazing friends and family, but I had it all aside from a relationship that was the only thing that I didn't have because I hadn't met the right guy. To me, I felt like I was successful because I hadn't settled for something that didn't feel right. Might have been the right guy wrong time. It could have been just the wrong guy overall. For me, I didn't put my life on hold because I didn't have that that part of it. I felt like I had everything else figured out and I'm on the partner path. I was focused at KPMG on really just going and working there through till retirement and then just like, okay, I'll truck it out. Go to 65, work here, work hard, and go. Okay, I know you don't want another book. You don't want another course. You don't want to have to follow through on anything and turn assignments in. You're tired of trying things that don't work for your brain. And you definitely don't want to spend time or money on one more thing that you're not sure is gonna work. That's why I created the 30-day free trial. Come on in, try neuroplanning with us. 30 days free trial. No commitment. Seriously, set an alarm on day twenty nine if you want. No questions asked. I understand where you are, and I understand how hard it is to try one more thing. Wanna make it easy for you. So just show up to the live sessions, see how it feels in your actual life. 30 days free on me. Go to think dash time.com, click start my thirty-day free trial. I can't wait to see you on the inside. Then what happened? Like you're on the partner path. What happened where you said, I am going to go a different direction. This is not going to be the next twenty-five years for me. What shifted? It was tough. I think that there were little micro shifts. I always say to me, you know, my God. And I was thinking, you know, I'd have these little signs and One of the things that I talk about is always pushing through. One of the things that's made me so successful is I always just push through oversee and keep pushing to get things done. What I found was my first kind of like trigger was the COVID lockdown when that happened. And it kind of forced me to pause and forced everybody else to pause and slow down and take a look at like what was it that you had going on in your life? What was it that was important to you? At the time, I had a calling and I felt really strongly that something was gonna happen to my parents and I didn't know what it was. This was back 2021. I was fortunate enough that I was able to rent the house next door to my sister and move down to Florida for a year and help take care of my nephews in Florida. Helped my sister with the boys get to know and spend quality time with them. But at the time my parents were also going through a really bad divorce and I was fortunate enough to have the house so that my mom could come and stay with me for a bit during that time. I always knew I'd love being with my family and being there for them, but it also showed me that I didn't want to wait to the point where I didn't have time to spend with my family because it was too late. I was working very, very hard and putting in 60, 80, 100 plus hours a week trying to get things done and push through and carry. things. For me, it started feeling like it wasn't the right path anymore. But I still kept pushing through. And I'm like, no, it's okay. It's just 10 more years or twenty more years or whatever it was. It's like it's not that long. I can do this, right? Mm, this is so good. Like you're just like I can push through. Like you're going to keep going. You're going to keep pushing. You're feeling these little flags inside you, but you just keep saying, I got this. I'm Keep going. So that was 2021. Moved back up to Brooklyn, back up to New York, because I was kind of between New York and and Florida. I just was renting the place down there and then living between the two places for a little bit. Moved up back up to Brooklyn, was trying to just kind of figure things out. And I'll set up my retirement place in Florida. I'll keep this place up here. But I just felt the call to be more present in Florida and be more near my family just became more and more strong. One of the things that I did okay. Well, I had my car, my dream car, my Jaguar F pace was in New York. I had it up there. And I'm like, you really don't need a car in New York. It was great during the beginning of when COVID was letting up to be able to drive into the city and stuff. But now I'm just leaving it parked. I'm traveling 80% of the time anyway. So it really doesn't make sense to have it here. Let me leave it at the house in Florida. I'm driving my car down. I'm gonna drive it down and My mom flew up, met me in the Virginia area where my sister and her family are. And she's like, I want to drive down with you. I want to see the grandkids. I want to see them. We're going to come down, right? And this is all in a season where you are like, I've got this. I've got this. I'm pushing hard. I'm going to be there for them. I'm going to manage all these employees. Just push through. Little flags are happening. And then what happens? So at that point. I've got regulatory deadlines that I've got to hit for a client that are like Monday morning type of things. I've got a number of different proposals that are out. I had recently been promoted to managing director and just working through that. And I had it all. Everything was doing great. And then all of a sudden I'm trying to push through. And it was funny because my mom and my sister are like, let's just take the train. We'll take the auto train and just we'll Put it on there. I'm like, no, it's 500 bucks. I can let's just, it'll be too long. It's 15 hours. It's 500. Now it's way more expensive, but it's way more. Let's just push through and I'll just drive. It's 10 hours, 10, 12 hours maybe from the DC area down to Tampa. We got this. I can drive it, no problem. So we're driving and everything's going great. We hit North Carolina and there's a huge rainstorm. Well, I'm used to driving in bad weather from New Hampshire and the New Hampshire ice and snow and then the Florida heavy rains. I'm like, I got this. It's fine. So I'm driving. I'm not speeding, but I'm going at a reasonable pace, what I think is. But we're going and we hydroplane. I'm like, crap. It's okay. I've dealt with hydroplaning before I got it. What I wasn't anticipating was we get this strong gust of wind that literally, as I'm hydroplaning, hits the car and pushes me into this concrete barricade. So, you know, the divider that's in the middle. And I'd literally T-boned that, spun around and then hit a car. And my car was totaled. My mom and I could have been killed and same with the other car. Thankfully we were good, but I had significant whiplash and concussion and dealt with that for a long time after. It was the first time in my life. Now I'm still pushing through to get to these Monday morning meetings that I have for my client with the regulators. Like the regulators don't wait. There's nothing that can be done there. At the same time, I'm like trying to keep pushing through and push and just keep pushing it. So what I did is I you know, I called my boss and talked to him and I was like, I couldn't even see. I mean, my concussion and whiplash was so bad to get from we had to get from North Carolina down to Back down to Tampa. So we were able to do that book of flight and figure all that out. So I'm still pushing through, right? Just to get home. And I get back, and it's the first time in my life I have to take short term lead. I've never had to do that before. And so I felt like a failure. It was the first time I'm like, it's okay. It's there. I know it's okay to take it. And I've encouraged people to take it. But I'm like, okay, I gotta take it. Right. My boss was very supportive at the time and saying, you got to take a break. I think what happened was I was still so adamant to push and go back, go back so quickly. I got what I thought was better, but what was happening was I was taking medicine to try to offset the headaches. And then, you know, my health just started deteriorating. Over 15 doctors over the course of a year and a half and trying to figure out these different things and what's going on with me, right? And it wasn't until I finally was able to truly slow down and say, Joy, what is it you can't just keep pushing? And it reminded me of a time I had had a conversation with a guy that I dated back, I think when I was at H S B C and he's like, Well, what if you've reached your max? What if you can't keep pushing through? And I'm like, Why would you say that? At the time, I'm like, that is so not appropriate. I can push through anything. What are you talking about? And so now I'm looking back, who do you think you are? You don't know me. I can push through this, right? And now taking a step back and looking at myself, it's like, really, and this goes back to all of what I've taught. It's really being a truly accountable leader. You have to be able to take that step back and look at yourself first and look at what you're doing because a lot of what your team is doing. I had a great podcast episode the other day. Where it was with Dr. Stacy. She usually the parents, because she does family things, she's like, I watched it. I know the good. Okay, good. It was so good. You bring the child in to get fixed, right? But the child is showing the symptoms, they're not the issue. It's whatever's going on in the family that's manifesting and showing through in the child because the child's more sensitive to express it, right? Ultimately. It was so interesting. I'm like, that's such a great point. If I took a step back and looked at myself, when you think about your teams, if your teams aren't producing, it may be how you're managing them and it may be how you're operating. Really, you've got to take a step back and look at how you are functioning. Because if your health isn't in check, and I'm not just talking physical, I'm talking mental, spiritual, everything. If you are not completely aligned. Then you are not going to be a good leader. I think some of the things that we see ultimately out there is that leaders will keep pushing and keep pushing to keep pushing through. However, what they're not realizing is they're not only sacrificing their health and their wellness, they're sacrificing the wellness and health of their team, and they're impacting their bottom line and creating inefficient processes, micromanaging and bottlenecks and things like that. And really potentially getting misaligned from what they're actually trying to get done. By pushing forward, they're trying to ensure results, but instead they're compromising their results. Yeah, exactly. Exactly. It's okay. There are times when you do have to push through and get things done. It's knowing the difference in knowing when you're pushing too hard and when Pushing is not doing what you're doing is not getting good results. Really just taking that step back to look at what you have on your plate and what's going on and what the team has. So if you could coach yourself back then and you were noticing those little flags, at what point would you have wanted yourself to have gotten a coach? At what point would you say, This is the time? This is what you're noticing. Like when would you intervene in former joys? Life. Well, let's be clear. I've had coaches pretty much most of my life. It's funny because there's therapists and then there's coaches. I think there's different styles, right? But I've always been a strong advocate of self-health and development, right? I think one of the things that I probably struggled with was I did not realize how much what you eat and what you put into your body, how much sleep you get and all of that. throws off your inner balance. For me, I've always prioritized that stuff. My weight's always been something that I've dealt with and struggled with my entire life. When I had the car accident, what happened? I was working it. I was at a good weight. I was like almost to my goal. I was killing it there. And I was getting a decent amount of sleep, but I also was the things that I was sacrificing was my meditation, my Prayer, definitely some sleep at times, my fun with friends and family, thinking through there. It's like, okay, you stop this one meeting. I got it. Cause everybody has the same 24 hours in the day. What are you actually doing with those 24 hours to make sure that you're staying aligned and on task with your vision and mission and truly enjoying what you're doing? So I think I had leaders and I had coaches that. Tried to warn me and I think I wasn't paying attention. All top performers hire coaches. I don't know any that don't. Top executives, you need people to help guide you. It's like thinking through the Olympics. They've got a coach for eating, they've got a coach for sleeping. You've got different coaches for everything. Because when you get to that top percentage, you need Coaches. I was so blessed at when I was at KPMG, I had so many amazing mentors and sponsors and things that helped me on my journey to get promoted. I didn't get promoted on my own. I got promoted because I had amazing teams, because I had an amazing support system and I had a vision and a plan to get there on what I could do. Now I'm interested in that point right there. So you said that you had the coaches. They were trying to tell you. You were actually listening to your coaches in a lot of areas. But this area, for some reason, you didn't take that feedback. Do you know why or have you discovered why? yeah. I've done a lot of work around it, right? So it was subconsciously I wasn't ready to deal with it. And I was too afraid of that, you know, the fear of failure, the fear of worth not feeling successful, feeling like a fraud. I struggled because I wanted to be there for the team. But I also had to balance managing underperformance. And I mean, everybody deals with that, right? I did do my personal discovery and there were some people that I hadn't forgiven, some things that I was frustrated and holding anger and resentment about. And I really had to let that go in order to be able to free myself to get to that next level. When I think about my framework. It's all about staying aligned and centered with yourself. We talk about anxiety and depression. Depression is in the past, right? Anxiety is in the future. That joy and getting your joyous edge is getting aligned and centered with yourself, community, and God. So it's thinking through that whole process of how do I maintain my center and my balance? Now we're gonna tip this way and that way at times, right? It's there are triggers. There are things that happen. There are events. There's Things that you're like, I didn't like the way that feels. But what makes executives successful is they can acknowledge that and make that reaction time, they shrink it down. It's like you're microdosing your fear and your frustration and your anger. I love I love calling it that because to me, I'm all about pushing the boundary. I want to push my boundary to the next level, right? But I love the term. Did you make that up? No, but microdosing your anger. I just love that. I made it up with regard to anger and feelings and emotions, yes. But I hear about microdosing with all things on, like, you gotta microdose this. I don't know, and all the health. No, but I love to microdose your anger feeling. Like I was just reading on this recently, but the faster people can process and turn around that anger, the hurt, the loneliness. You don't sit in it, you deal with it. And those are the high performers. But the people who let that gap sit, let those feelings fester, don't process through them. They're getting stuck, they're not climbing to that next level. And that is where the joyous edge becomes the edge of your performance because it's that joy. You lose your joy when that anger gets stuck, that hurt gets stuck, those feelings get stuck, you lose that joy. And that is the edge of performance. So this is beautiful. Like you are the quintessential high performer. But what you learn is like just because you can carry it, that doesn't mean you should. Say that again because people don't understand that. Yes, you can push through and yes, you can carry that, but it doesn't mean you should. Just because you can carry it doesn't mean you should. I'd love to introduce you to something I created specifically. For brains like yours. 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Planning tools and templates, live group coaching, monthly QA, and a live onboarding session so you can begin to use the system right away. If you're ready to increase your opportunity to experience more clarity, calm, confidence, creativity, meaningful productivity, and presence while getting more of the right things done in less time with peace, not pressure, visit think-time.com slash podcast. I'd love to help you build a life that works with your brain, aligns with your design, and reflects what matters most. In our membership, I have this pillar called growing your confidence. And I what the way that I think of it in my brain is knowing when to throttle forward and when to pull back. Like to be in control of that process of. We're going forward. And then other times it's like, whoo, we're going back. And both are necessary. You can't drive a boat even without that forward or back. You can't listen to a song without the notes and the pauses. You can't have a heartbeat without that regrouping of the heart to be able to pump more out. Everything has that flow. And we want everything to be go, go, go. And obviously, you know, I believe in a pause. To drive performance forward. Yeah. So we've established like you pushed, you pushed, you pushed. Even when you had a concussion, couldn't see straight, you still wanted to push. I love that. This is the beauty of you, but misapplied could get you a different And you know what's so funny is my partner at the time, he cracked me up because he's a black belt in Brazilian jujitsu. And he's like, he goes, Joy, as somebody that understands concussions and this type of stuff, he's like. You need to take care of yourself. I am telling you right now, you need to pause and you need to focus on this. I didn't realize how bad the impact was for me. And because it hit me a lot worse, because I was gripping and trying to control and man, I was literally trying to control the car and make it so that I didn't hit anybody, right? He's like, Joy, you need to pause. And he's like, You need to focus on your health and hope focus on your wellness. When I was thinking focus on my health and wellness, okay, I won't drink, but I didn't worry about the food that I was putting in my body. I wasn't worried about, I mean, I did try to sleep, but I just was off. And I just didn't get back up because the one thing that I did when I was at that time, I was thinking about it from a losing weight perspective. I'm like, I'm not gonna worry about getting to my goal weight. I'm gonna let that goal sit to the side. I wasn't thinking about it of. What goes into your body is what processes and makes you better, right? I wasn't thinking about it as my gut. I think the big mindset shift for me, and this was part of the work with Dr. Cody, has been like, you have a built-in doctor to fix you, right? Ultimately, if you pay attention to those signs and those triggers before they get to up here, you'll be way better off. What it does is noticing for me when I start feeling it either up in here or I feel it in the middle of my heart and in my stomach. Those are kind of the three points. I'll feel it in my throat, I'll feel it in my chest, and I'll feel it in my stomach. That's where I start feeling my anxiety and stress or my trigger. When I'm starting to get triggered, I'm like, okay, you know what? The first thing, and I've known this for a long time because I've had my Apple Watch and things like that. I love the wearables. I see it as a data point. And so what I found was when I was getting stressed in a meeting, I would stop breathing and I would get an alert on my watch that would say breathe. I'm literally sitting there like this and holding my breath, gritting my teeth, and I have a smile on. I'm getting alerted on my watch to breathe because I'm holding my breath trying to not respond. And because I don't want to give visible signs, do you learn how to just kind of sit there? And I'm not saying that's my resting face, you know. Like those are the things when you're I had to become self-aware enough to know, okay, I don't breathe. And that's one of my triggers is I know that I'm getting close to the edge if I stop breathing. Other people may respond differently. I don't know what what are some of your triggers? Like what are some of your coping mechanisms? That's a great question. For me, I think this is more of a trained response. But when I notice that I'm feeling stressed, I'm I feel it here. Like my it's all definitely the top of my head gets squished down in my neck and I'm just like like that's where I feel things. Yes, right here and honestly in the shoulder blades, the scapulas, my massage therapist back in the day would be like, Joy, what are you doing? I'm like, just get under there. I don't know what's going on. Yeah, the top of my back and shoulders and then right this part right here, I just have this clinching that I do with my head when I'm stressed. But what I do that helps me that has become a very, very, very, very, very big help in the moment. It is a natural response, but it can be initiated cognitively and it's to exhale fully. If you ever see me and we're talking and I'm like, but having a little a little size of a straw and then pushing an exhale out all the way, it will take my nervous system and go. No, I was just saying that is a great response. You're absolutely right. That's one that I teach too is like my first thing when we were coming up with my framework and I was thinking through because we looked at all the different projects that I've implemented and what did you do when you first started it or the teams that I've overseen? What was your first thing? I'm like, you take a step back, you look at what's your North Star, what is it that you want to get done or need to get done? What's your mission and vision and values and how do they align? And then look at everything that's on your plate. Uh-huh. And then you prioritize it. Is that the E and Edge? Yeah. So the E and Edge is to evaluate. Exactly. You got it. The E and Edge is to evaluate. Do the inventory. You're absolutely right. You do the inventory, you look at it all, look at everything. You look at the risks, the inputs. There's risk with anything that you do, right? Even recording this podcast, the risk that we could get together or not to get together. Is it What are the things from a timing? I had to put something on hold so that I do this. So you look at what's the time value and where do you really want to prioritize your time or need to prioritize your time so that you can get things done? The thing I like about that from a neuroscience perspective is when we're stressed and you've hit it exactly, like your process is neuroscience sound, because when you're stressed, you get tunnel vision and you all you can see is right in front of you. And the ultimate stressors, whenever it's unchecked and keeps going in, it's going to be a folding in on yourself. And it just it can get really bad. Like if it's unchecked, if stress and the pressures of life and overwhelm are unchecked, there is a folding in. We get very self centered and we are going to defend ourselves. We're going to fight anyone in front of us. Like it's bad. It gets real ugly. But to fight that, this expansive looking up at the horizon. looking out to see what are we dealing with and where do I want to go. And I love the one-two punch right there, right? You've got to have the vision of where you're going, but then also evaluate all the possibilities. And my dream phase is those two steps too. So I love those two steps together. You've got to know the direction and then you don't just go with the first idea to get there. You've got to evaluate risks and benefits and then how do you do it faster and easier and more efficiently and all of this. So what's next in the edge framework? I want to go back to the E for a second because like it's one of the things there is this framework is built for executives, but the truth is anybody could apply this, right? And I think it's the same thing with yours, is it's really being open to knowing and being self-aware and having the emotional intelligence. Let's say a project at work isn't going well and you've got to take a look at it and readjust. What you need to be able to do is think about the stakeholders and the people that are the influencers that are influencing the decision makers. You've got to figure out what's their agenda, what is it that they've got going on? So while we are looking at the framework from a personal perspective, this is something that you could also do in a workplace perspective as well. Yeah. So the first one is evaluate, right? The next one is to design a plan. So the D is design. And what we do is once you've evaluated and done the full inventory of everything that you've got on your plates, you almost take that stuff and you go into kind of that start, stop, continue mindset of what's really important, what's aligned, does this fill my cup? Does it drain me? What's going on? Why am I spending my time this way? Looking at doing a true calendar inventory of everything that you've got on your plate. What are your obligations? What are your commitments? What is it that you really wanna be doing? Because a lot of times we'll say yes. I call it the hidden yes addiction framework where it's all about why are you saying yes? Because is it because you want to be nice? Is it because you want to get to that next level and you think that by doing things and just keep doing and doing and doing, you'll get there? Or is it because it's filling your cup and actually aligned with where you want to be? Because we tell ourselves stories. All day long. That's the thing is you'll find a way to make it align your subconscious, especially if it's in your comfort zone. So that's the thing is I always when I talk about micro dosing, it's one of my favorite terms because it's true. You gotta microdose your comfort zone so that you can gradually get bigger and bigger and bigger and bigger. Because if you take a giant leap out, Your subconscious is gonna pull you back in, right? It's gonna be like, no, you can't go do that. I'm not comfortable with this. I wanna be back into where I don't feel comfortable and in my little box and stay here, right? But if you gradually just push it a little bit, it's almost like pushing that timer. Five minutes, you know, like with kids, right? They'll test. Kids will test the parents. Can I go five minutes more for my bedtime? I just want a five minute more bedtime, five minutes more, five minutes more, right? That's what I think about. It's testing your limits, is really it's testing your boundaries. So designing that plan, when you come up with that plan, you're going and prioritizing everything that you need to be staying in line with that vision and going forward there. So after that, the next step is to go execute. You've designed this plan. Now, the thing that I always say is the one thing to make God laugh is to make a plan, right? Because whatever you make a plan and a vision. God will find a way to change it, or something will get thrown in the mix and you're like, that's not what I want to do. This is where I need to be going, right? So what you do is you learn to adapt, but you're self-aware enough and your others aware enough, right? You're aware you have enough emotional intelligence and enough self-regulation to be like, okay, is this in line with my plan and my vision? And staying true to yourself. Because what you'll find is top performers, they put their mask on first. They're taking care of themselves. They need to. Otherwise, they will burn out and they will have significant health problems because your body, while you may think you're scapegoating or no, I can cut 30 minutes here, five minutes there, and you can't do it long term. Yeah, you can do it once. You maybe even to be able to do it for a week. But I can tell you, you can't stay awake for a week straight. And I don't know anybody that's done it, but I hear about it. No, and the wrong person who does that can really mess themselves up. If you stay awake and mess up your sleep cycle, that can have if you have certain genetic combination that can mess you up in the long term. And it's not just mess you up, but mess up everybody around you. Because I can tell you if I don't get the right amount of sleep a night, I am not fun to be around the next day. Maybe especially by day two, it's like I try to be. But I'm more edgy, I'm more irritable. If you're not getting the right sleep and you're not prioritizing your downtime, then you're not taking care of yourself. And that's the number one thing is because then that's where the sleep the where the food habits fail and all of that. So it's like you've got to start with you'll See me drinking my water. You gotta get your water in. You gotta get everything. It's just you just learn to do it. What I'm hearing is like there are just no shortcuts. Like you can't if you shortcut on sleep, like you're gonna overeat the next day. Like it just doesn't work. And it there I think it was about nine years ago I had a professional tell me, Above all, Christine, sleep. No like above everything. I agree. That you're sleep. Let me tell you, especially with a weight loss journey, the one thing that I do love about going through the program that I'm on is I have learned to not be afraid of the scale, right? It's so many people are like, it was my birthday last weekend, right? And everybody's like, you gotta have a piece of cake, you gotta do this, you gotta do that. And I'm like, nah, I'm okay. I did end up having a piece of ice cream cake. I wasn't going to, but you know what? I like ice cream cake. I am gonna do this. I knew I was gonna be up, right? But what I was able to do is look at it from a data standpoint and look at it from a number. I can see where my weight is fluctuating. Now, there's so many different things that fluctuate with your weight. So it's one data input, right? It could be that I lost muscle. It could be that I didn't have enough water. But if I'm able to get in the habit and get my subconscious starting to see, okay, I need water. I don't have to consciously reach for water. Now when my body needs it, I reach for it. Whereas I had turned off a lot of those sensors. I was on GLP1 medication, which I was on it for years. I thought it was great. I'm like, okay, I had hit a plateau in my weight loss because I'm down overall over 125 pounds since 2014. I had kept a lot of that off. And then it's that last 25 to 30, I've been between this weight and probably about 20 pounds from where I'm at. Over up and down over the years, right? So for me, because I'm tall, I can carry it well and I'm not worried. I love myself at my size right now. I also know that I can be healthier by losing a little bit more weight, right? And when I lose that weight, if I don't like the way that I look or I feel like my muscles are not there right, I'll adjust. But I want to see what I look like when I get there and see how I feel. So for those of you listening, Joy is talking about a journey she's taken with Dr. Cody Goleman. And you can find the episode with Dr. Cody in Your Body Loves You in my podcast as well on August 24th. I've watched you do this process and it is you were talking about sleep and making sure that you get your sleep. What happens when you don't get your sleep and you step on the scale? What happens? I'll give you an example. Last night is a perfect example. Okay. I went to sleep on time. I for some reason I was I think I was excited because I did a big live yesterday and I was really stoked from it. But I also knew that I had to get my mom to the airport this morning at 6 a.m. I was, you know how you have that nagging feeling of I don't want to oversleep. And I knew I had my alarm set, all of that. I got probably two hours of sleep last night, even though I'd gone to sleep at nine, on and off. I'd wake up, I'd be like, you know, because I thought I'd have to be at the airport. And I was up two and a half pounds. Now tomorrow I'm gonna go to sleep tonight on the regular time. I'll be down three pounds tomorrow. You know what I mean? Because I'm doing everything right. That's the thing, is it's funny because I had posted one of the clicks where I'm like, you test it out. I think one of the things it's like you want to know how you lose weight, go to sleep. The funny thing is this is one of those things where my coach told me I needed to do something and I read the book Sleep Smarter. I've known. Sleep is something that is important. But until I was with Dr. Cody and actually physically weighing myself every day and tracking what I'm eating, what I'm sleeping, like an elimination type of thing. So I know what the changes are and I can control what the changes are within that. Because if you think about it, you could gain weight because you're stressed. There's so many variables. So Dr. Cody's program brings it down to it's an elimination. You only eat these certain things for a certain amount of time. And then you start testing, microdosing different food things. And it's like, okay, I'll test out sweet potatoes now. Now I can test out this. And then I can start testing out pasta. And then I can start testing out this. But you don't do it all at once because then you don't know what your body's reacting to. Your body may like sweet potatoes. Mine may not. I may be able to eat candy. You may not. I don't, I can't. I get it gives me anxiety and all that kind of stuff. And the thing that I've noticed is with hit. program, it's all about knowing your body. Someone asked me, they're like, do you have to stay off that stuff for life? And I'm like, no. But I choose to eat it a heck of a lot less because I know how I feel. And it's not just about how my body reacts, but it's how do I feel? I feel like crap when I've got a ton of caffeine in my body and a ton of sugar and this and that and the other. And it's no wonder my nervous system, you know, it goes back to that nervous system regulation. And this is the performance edge. It's not something that's outside in, it's inside out. You've learned from listening to the cues of, you know, you wanted to push harder and faster and it brought you to a life threatening car accident. Not only your life, but others. And then now it's you've gone through several different analogies in this conversation, but then landing on, and I can rest and actually have better performance. And I can Feed my body and have better performance. And these are the things we know, but sometimes we need someone to walk us through. And so this is your framework. Did you have a final E on there? Yes. So the last E is elevate. So ultimately, what it is is as you've gone and done the inventory and you've looked at that, you've taken that step back, you've gone and designed a plan and prioritized aligned with your North Star. You then go execute and iterate, right? So you're microdosing, you're adapting and adjusting. When you're bobbing and weaving, you're getting new risks that come up, new deliverables. Finally, you elevate because as you're evolving the program and what it is that you're doing, you're growing as a person, as a leader, and you're getting towards that goal. You can't eat an elephant all in one sitting. You gotta take one bite at a time. So what it does is by going and executing, you're iterating, you're adapting and adjusting. And you're able to then level up yourself, your team, and your company. I love this piece. I think that growth feels so fuzzy and unattainable and undefinable sometimes. But what you just said is these iterations of moving through the same process. We're going to evaluate, we're going to decide. We're going to get mean, is it go? What does the G mean? Go execute. So it's evaluate. Design, design the plan, go execute, and then elevate. Yeah. Yeah. I love it. It's go. All I remember is like, well, how do you say go? Like go execute. And then just go. That is the path upward. And it's this reviewing, adjusting, and this is how growth occurs. It's the same process, iterated, slightly adjusted, iterated. And that is how you get to being top 1% of the top 1%, like you were talking about with the Navy SEALs. I think that is so clearly stated as a growth path and a path to high performance. Thank you so much for sharing this with us. If there are some people out there who are thinking, ooh, this is the person that I want to guide me on my growth path, I really believe that there's just a fit at times and there's someone saying, Okay, I need someone who is this. action oriented, who's this dynamic, who's a little bit as crazy as I am here, to lead me to not like run myself into the ground and truly not have a leadership collapse, but really have a a sustainable way to achieve. Where can they find you, Joy? Yeah, they can book a call with me at freejoycall.com. So I always do a free 30-minute consult just to see what it is that everybody's got on their plate. Help them with identifying that North Star and kind of talking through what is their challenge and you know what it is that they're dealing with that they're feeling stretched too thin by. Help them with a lining there. And I think ultimately you can book that call with me if you want that consult, if you want me to guest on your podcast, or if you want me to speak or do a workshop at your company. I do all of that. So and if you want to check out more about me, I've got the joyousedge.com, but ultimately free. FreejoyCall.com is the easiest way. And then just make sure they put in the notes think time. I think if they could let me know that they find out about you through think time so we can make sure that I know we talked about on our go live getting them a a free planner one page. I love it. It's so awesome. Yeah. Do you want to tell them what this is? This is the gift that you loved receiving from me. And we decided that anyone who comes to you will also get this. So So how will this work? What what are they going to do when they see this page? They see some squares. Yeah. So it was very clear. Let me just be clear. Because it says now five years, one year. So it says a sketch of my vision, five, ten, fifteen, twenty, twenty-five, thirty. And so Okay. So for me, I've always done take my step back. I do a plan and a vision. I just I'm very bullet point oriented. What this does is that helps give you that creative mindset and that. Creative aspect of it. So it's almost like drawing it to life. What does that actually mean? So you can start out with, here's where I want to be. Maybe 30 years out is way too much. So maybe you start at the one year, five year mark. And then it gives you the ability to dream again. And, you know, I think we're so focused on being just zoned in on what we need. It really does a great job of helping you kind of just imagine like. Back in my twenties, I did a lot of visualization and vision boarding. And I still actually when I went up for MD, I did a vision board again. I hadn't done one in years. And it was the same type of thing. I'm like, okay, this is my path. This is where I want to be. And that's part of what worked. Yeah. And it does. It's just our brain is designed to create the vision in that imagination space. We see it first, we create it in our minds first, then we create it in our lives. And this just gives the brain a clear path so that it knows when it has a thousands and thousands of inputs every day. It knows where you're wanting to go. So this is how you get your brain on your team. I always say a clear dream gets your brain on your team. So this will be a gift for you if you work with joy and get do a free joy call. Say I sent you, we'll send you a gift. So and it's really it's also a keepsake. So it's a fun little watercolor. paper you can actually make it pretty if you want to but the whole point is freejoycall.com that's the only thing you really need to remember whether you want all the different things she offers the most important thing is joy can bring that to you whether it's speaking workshops or coaching and you guys can discern that you know I'm sure you'll talk about intensives or individual sessions and all the little details but what do you need? And you can come and say I'm about to run my life Into the ground. That's the big lesson of this whole podcast. Call joy instead. So I agree. I agree. Yeah. Joy, thank you so much for coming on the podcast. I really value the framework. We're very aligned in how we help people guide, but we're different people. And some people are going to want to learn from me. Some people are going to want to learn from you. And I am so happy to be able to shine a spotlight on the beautiful work that you're doing at the Joyous Edge. Thank you for being here today. Thank you for having me, Christine. I've really enjoyed it. I hope that your listeners get some good information and nuggets out of this. So Good. I know they will. I know they will. Thank you for being here. Thanks. Bye. This podcast is for educational and entertainment purposes only and isn't a substitute for individualized medical, mental health, or professional care. Every brain is different. Results will vary. Thank you for listening to Hyper Focus and High Performance. If today's conversation helped you think differently about how your mind works, I invite you to take the next step. Visit think-time.com/slash podcast and grab my free training. Why can't I find a planner that works for me? If you've ever felt frustrated, judged even by yourself, overwhelmed, or simply wondered why everyone seems to be able to follow a system that simply doesn't work for you, you're not alone. In this free training, you'll discover how your brain naturally approaches focus, planning, and productivity, and why many traditional systems were never designed for minds like yours, and whether neuroplanning could help you increase your opportunity to experience more clarity, calm, confidence, creativity, and meaningful progress with peace, not pressure. And if this episode encouraged you, please subscribe. Share it with a friend and leave a review so more brilliant, creative ADHD visionaries can discover what's possible. Remember, you don't have to become someone else to do what only you can do. Because only you can be who only you can be, and otherwise there will be a hole in history. The path forward is clear. Love your design, then dream, decide, do, review. I'll see you next time.