Lindsay: What's your price? To find a local squirrel and track its activities nonstop for one month or to annually, call up one ex-partner and sing a ballad about your breakup or to drink a pipe of human blood in one sitting. Let's find out.
Aron: No joke. It's time to play human values. Your weekly stop for logical debates about illogical questions.
Here to give each hypothetical the dialect goal, put the O in Comedy Game show and pierce your ear, which is better than your weir. We're your hosts, Aron, Reuben Korney, and Lindsay Hicks. Also, joining us today is a very special guest, comedian, Danny Jealous, let's podcasts.
Lindsay: Danny, something really fun that I'm noticing that feels. It has to be, I have to mention it is that often when we're recording these podcasts, people have like, you know, like a desk top microphone, something on some sort of rig where it's like a bit of a hands-free situation, but you have done something really, really bold and beautiful, bold.
You're holding a microphone stand up style, and I've never seen anyone do that before. And I have to say I'm fucking inspired.
Danny: Right. I think that you can get into a place doing podcasts where it's like you can just kind of like zone out and just sort of go into. I don't know. Just talking place, which is so bad and it's like, but we just forget cuz you'll, so you'll go into like, I'm just talking with friends mode.
Yeah. And so I take it outta my, like I have a little holder but I don't use it. Get that outta here, get that outta here. I hold it my hands and then I a standing desk. So sometimes I will raise the desk and I will stand for
Aron: the podcast. Wait, Danny, I also am at a standing desk. Do you want to at some point?
Mid episode? Both. Start standing and
Danny: see if it changes you. Let me know when you, let me know when I'm ready to go at any moment.
Aron: How about Lindsay can trigger it? Lindsay, you trigger it when you're ready for us to shift our desks to standing mode and let's see if we're different. Okay.
Danny: I think it makes a big difference when I do my podcast everything but the scores I stand for the podcast.
The whole time.
Aron: I like it. Okay. We're gonna learn a lot. We're gonna do a little experiment with this. Tell you something
Lindsay: about me. I love to sit and I love not holding stuff. It is amazing and there's nothing
Danny: wrong with
Aron: that. You look like you're sitting comfortable today, by the way. You have your little winter coat on.
I don't know if it's you in a winter coat.
Lindsay: Oh yeah. It's a little chilly up in here. I'm really just like living my best atomal life. I'm a, I'm a real chi Spice
Aron: up in. Okay, so this episode's coming out in a few weeks, but I have to tell you guys, I was reading the news before this, which, you know, just my little intellectual flex and I read that there's a massive thing called Bag gate occurring right now.
Korney Hole. Yes, Danny.
Danny: Yes. This is my life. What is it? I live for this shit. Take it. Take it. So let me say this. Golden age of cheating, right? In, this is literally my podcast is everything about the scores. We literally all, all I do is talk about sports that aren't happening on
Lindsay: the field. So you talk about the anal beads of
Danny: the chess, I'm talking about anal beads and chess.
Absolutely. Hans, Hans, Nina and Mag Magnus Carlson. Great story. Talking about Irish dancing controversy. Right now we're talking about, uh, poker controversy. Right now we're talking about, we got weights and fish, but the newest as of today, one is this Korney hole. The two guys. Champions. These are serious.
These is, this was aired on ESPN when it happened. Uh, their, uh, their bags were too small.
Aron: Was it too small? I thought it was, the lining was too thin. It was too small. I didn't go deep down the rabbit Korney hole yet on this one. So
Danny: you can, apparently, if you, and this is like, so sports, I was like, every sport has a weighted cheat that's like, they just know the best way to cheat.
So apparently if you take a. A standard cord hole bag, and you rub either vinegar on it or something else, it will shrink. It'll make the, it'll make it shrink. So their thing is smaller, which is a massive advantage because you're trying to get it in a little hole. So if your bag is smaller, huge advantage, and they got caught called out by the team.
The guy caught it in person, that gate, they don't know how they claim. It was just a mistake. It's a whole, it's a whole. I'm looking at this
Lindsay: thing. These guys are winning so much money.
Aron: What kinda earnings are on the table? For Korney
Lindsay: Hole? It says the ACL's top players earn as much as $250,000 a year in winnings from playing Korney hole.
What? Sponsorship deals, endorsements,
all
Aron: that stuff. What are we doing doing this? ?
Danny: Oh, I mean, listen, if you're the best, I've always said this. If you're the best at any sport, no matter how stupid it is, there's. There's serious money. Korney Hole is in a boom right now. Korney Hole and Pickle Ball are in a head-to-head race.
For biggest. For biggest. Boom, pickle ball is blowing up. Biggest boom, two, two of those two sports blowing up. Really big, big, big, big, big. Now, have either of you followed the weights and fish situation?
Lindsay: No. Didn't know. What is
Aron: this? Danny, shut up and tell us about it. .
Danny: The footage that accompanies it is worth looking up.
But there was a fishing tournament. This is a, I don't know the specifics, but it was in, I wanna say Idaho or I Iowa. It was a fishing tournament. These guys have won many times. They have won six figures about a money fishing. They win this tournament, they weigh their fish that they caught that day. They weigh more than everyone else.
They win. Somebody grabs their fish bag and is like, no, no, no. And they cut open the fish and then the iconic moment. And I can, I'm gonna do my best impression this guy, cause he cuts it open. And he pulls out a weight from inside the fish and he screams, we got weights in fish and then there's a, and then, and I've been yelling that around the house now for weeks as
Aron: you have every right to,
Danny: it's the funniest phrase of all time, the level of anger that this guy was at right away.
And then there's a just a mob around these two guys. They're just like, you sons are bitches and just screaming at them and they're pulling out. Cartoonish amount of weights in these fishes. Every single fish is just, they stuff down their mouths, weights to make them way more. It's the most caught I've ever seen two humans in my life,
I've never seen them caught
Lindsay: so hard. So is it that they go out and they're all on their different boats and they're kind of, and then they all bring their fish back in after a certain allotted amount of time and they. Here are all the poor souls we've, we've brought up who didn't want to die and but in the process they put the weights in in secret while they're in their boats or how are they?
Yes.
Aron: Where do they put the beads, by the way? Are they they're putting them in their mouth.
Danny: I think the idea is, is that they. Chucked them down their mouths. They're in the mouth. They're putting 'em in the mouth. Well, they're like in the bo, so like go down their body. I think, I don't really know how they got 'em in there because,
Lindsay: or maybe there's a way like in the, in a gill space, but then it might come back out of a gill.
But then could it come out of a mouth? Like where
Danny: they also caught at 1.1 of the guys caught, they had like during like the part where they're just cutting open every fish and it's just the most, he pulls out like a file. That they just brought of like a different fish that was just inside of this fish.
Wait.
Aron: He's tur ducking to win. They put
Lindsay: extra fish in
Danny: fish, extra fish in the fish .
Aron: I wish we lived in a universe where that yo dog meme correlated with this occurring. Do you remember the Yo Dog Meme from like 20 years ago? No. What's Yo Dog from? Pimp My Ride, wasn't it? It was like, yo dog. I heard you like Steamboats.
So I put this Steamboat generator in a car so you can steam while you steam and we put that car in its own sauna so you could steam while you steam, while you steam. Like that kind of, it was just like this meme.
Lindsay: That's a deep cut. It's a niche. A niche
Aron: meme. It was from Pimp My Ride and it was, I think it was Exhibit wasn't the host exhibit and there was like this meme of his face whenever there was like a thing and a thing.
I know
Danny: Pimp my Ride. I wanna be very clear. I know Pimp
Aron: right Danny, I never questioned that. You knew what Pimp My Ride
Danny: was. I wanna be very clear. It's a classic. Stunted isn't back. That's one of those shows that I'm like in 2022 with the way TV is and money grabbing works. How have we not brought
Aron: back? I wanna see Ride My Pimp.
I wanna see a, like a, like a obscure sports series Lindsay, hold on. Where people race against each other, where the jockey sits on the shoulders of a pimp and they race each other down to the finish line. I dunno
if
Danny: it's gonna play great on Twitter 2022, but there is a sex work positivity. So I wonder, I wonder if, if that could potentially work out.
Lindsay: Yeah. But I think the, the pimp cycle has, its, its problematic. I think I, I, I enjoy the idea of a sex worker that is in charge of her own finances. But here's what, here's what interests me about that is a person writing a person. I don't think we've seen enough of that in sports.
Aron: It's true. Lindsay, what if Ride my pimp were the night walker riding their own pimps shoulders?
So they're taking back the power dynamic. A night walker. A hooker Lindsay, a hooker riding their own pimp shoulders. Speaking of hookers and fish, why don't we cast a reel and bring up the kickoff of this game? Let's do the game. Cast a reel. Here's what we're gonna do. Just just roll with it. . Here's what we're gonna do, right?
We're gonna do three questions. They're each, what's your price to do blank questions. Lindsay's gonna tee them out and we'll reel 'em back in. But the trick isn't just what's your amount? It's the least amount that you're willing to do it for. So that's the rub. And then we'll also look at some of the answers that our listeners submitted on human values podcast.com.
Lindsay, what you got? Well,
Lindsay: what I have here is the first question. Oh, what's your price? To find a local squirrel and track its activities nonstop for one month. Love it. One month
Aron: nonstop. How do you feel about squirrels? Guys?
Danny: Love squirrels, my friend Skyler, during the pandemic. Was alone in his house early and in a similar plot to Cinderella.
He befriended local animals cuz he was so alone. So he became friends with, in particular two squirrels. He really developed a friendship with these squirrels. That was bizarre. I got to see it in person. He, the squirrels would let him pet them. Okay. He was able to pet them. They knew his name, they liked his food.
It. Wild to watch because of that and because of his experience with the squirrel. I got to know the squirrel world quite well for a couple days cuz we were very bored and he was just, you know, it started as this like, I think I'm like, I'm just starting to feed these squirrels out of boredom. And it led to him genuinely befriending a squirrel.
Then he thought one of the squirrels was dead. A very upsetting day. Then the squirrel actually was alive. We went through a rollercoaster with these squirrels during the pandemic tough times. What's the
Aron: weirdest thing you learned about squirrels in that? You can
Danny: pet them . That was insane to me. Yeah, he was able to pet it.
It would let him pet it.
Aron: Was he in New York? No, it was out in la. Could he
Lindsay: pick it up? Would they ride on his shoulders?
Danny: I felt like by the end, at a certain point I had to vocalize to him like, Hey, I'm concerned about the amount, like were befriending these squirrels. Like I don't think this is a good, healthy.
Relationship. The
Lindsay: squirrels will become dependent on
Danny: him. The squirrels are gonna become dependent. They have
Lindsay: predators. They need to be very aware and not quite so, you know, cozy like a little house cat.
Danny: It was a wild situation. And also just how attached to us, I was like, we, we are attached to squirrels.
We
Aron: can't have this. Did he foam it the mouth? Often when you talk to him. I'll tell you,
Danny: man, it was a wild time. It, it sounds insane.
Aron: Well, it just sounds like a way to get
Danny: rabies, but he never did. He just ended up being friends again. The best way I can describe it out, out of a plot line of Cinderella, it was, he was befriending the local squirrels.
So I got to know squirrels pretty well, so they can get very sweet if you
Aron: work with them. That makes sense. But let's get into the real meat of what this show is always about, which is consent. Okay? Uhhuh, if a non-consenting squirrel, I, I don't know if a non-consenting squirrel is being followed by you and you have to track it, right?
Cuz those squirrels were consenting for all the, the engagement. Yes. You have to find a local squirrel and track it nonstop for a month. It's
Lindsay: less about your relationship with the squirrel and more. Tracking it, seeing where it is, what it's doing. It's less about the connection and more about the hunt.
The hunt or the informational information.
Aron: Unless you were Danny's friend. If you're Danny's friend is our guest, he would say, easy. $0. I have a squirrel.
Danny: Well, I'm just saying I think that you'd be able, you, you could potentially create a food calendar, if you will. For the squirrel throughout the day where you could keep that squirrel kind of in a schedule.
Cause the problem is gonna be nighttime. In my estimation, in my very practical world of this, this question, my immediate thought is daytime's, no problem. Right? If we're gonna track squirrel all day. That's, that's, that's easy work. ,
Aron: is it? Yeah. The squi
Danny: squirrels aren't like super fast. You'll be able to follow
Aron: a squirrel.
There's squirrels all over my apartment complex, and I gotta tell you, man, if I had to follow one of those guys, I'd have to be paring like
Lindsay: crazy. They're fast, they jump, they can jump over from building to building from rooftop to rooftop, tree to tree, like they're all over the place. Name Another
Aron: thing they can jump from that
Lindsay: was, Shoulder to
Danny: shoulder.
Oh, that's interesting. I guess in my mind, daytime easy, nighttime is where it gets hard cuz you're gonna get sleepy and I don't know if squirrels sleep, you only have
Aron: to track it nonstop. So maybe it's about, I don't know how you would do it, but like feeding it. What if like, I don't know how quickly squirrel bowels move, but what about like every other day feeding it a pellet that had a tracker on it.
So as long as you always knew where it was and you were tracking it, you just have to learn how quickly it turns It. Into poop. I'm sure your pellet
Lindsay: would tell you maybe there's some sort of very smart pellet that knows when it's in a body.
Aron: Ooh. Like it's like the stomach has reached this much acid. I'm heading south.
Sure.
Lindsay: Yeah. Something like that. Yeah. The nonstop of it all is what makes this really hard. I'm like, I guess you could kind of like have a very good sense of where the squirrel will be and have a sort of like camera system in place. Um, but also how do you identify. Squirrel. You know what I mean? There's lots of squirrels.
How are we gonna identify it? I don't wanna really put anything on the squirrel. I don't wanna tag it. That seems like it could hurt it.
Aron: You could shape it . Yeah, you're
Danny: right. You could draw a little, like give it a little shade, shave a little like that. That sign into it. That'd be easy to find it. Be easy to follow.
It's the one squirrel that's shaved.
Aron: That'll be good. It will try so hard to avoid you after that though. This naked little gremlin.
Danny: Sure. That is gonna be a tough relationship to
Aron: uphold. I think you've gotta get a team. I think you need at least one other person to do the shift to rotate shifts with you.
Danny: That's a good point. So you're gonna need, yeah, you're gonna need a second unit. Cause I don't think they sleep like we
Aron: sleep. No, they don't sleep like we sleep. I don't know that, but it sounds right. , I
Lindsay: imagine they sleep like a dog sleeps like I think of my dog, like she, I don't know if she's really sleeping all the way through the night.
She's really like, she's eating in the night, she's waking up, she's checking things out, she's seeing where things are. She sleeps for like half an hour, an hour max. I imagine squirrels are a little bit like that. My
Danny: dog is very, My dog, when we go to bed, she goes to bed. I guess sometimes I wake up and she's in a different place in the room, but she's usually pretty like asleep.
Aron: I think most animals are like that. I think as the dominant species on the planet, we evolved to sleep soundly and I think other animals have partial shutdown of their brains when they sleep versus another section is awake. I'm pretty sure that's like a survival thing, like I think it's irregular that we shut off all the way.
Danny: Although Lindsay, does your dog ever dream and have nightmares? Cuz that is my favorite
Lindsay: thing. This dog has a really rich dream life. She's, I'm talking, she's running, her little pause are moving her. Her lips are snarling, like her ears are twitching all around. She's got a whole lot of stuff
Danny: going on in there.
My dog will like wake up. She'll wake me up sometimes cuz it'll be like, I'll sound here. Like, nope.
Lindsay: What kind of dog do you have? Little
Danny: toy schnauzer. A
Lindsay: toy Schnauzer. That's so cute. What's his name?
Danny: Her name is Harper. She's a little lady. She's the best little girl in the whole wide world. How old is she?
She's five years old now. Cute. I know. She's the best.
Aron: Would she help you hunt squirrels? This questions to both of you about your dogs. Really? She's fascinated
Danny: by squirrels. She, she gets Would she hurt it though? I don't think so. She's, she's a very harmless dog. She's real docile and real. Aggressively doesn't seem to really like have any defense mechanisms or any kind of viciousness
Lindsay: to her.
That's incredible. Bagel is very different. She has a deep obsession and like, Taste for blood when it comes to squirrels. Ooh, she's not much bigger than a squirrel, and yet there is a deep hunger to just rip into a squirrel that is so real in her and it, it scares me. That's terrifying. That's why I'm happy that squirrels are so fast.
Aron: She's so cute and tiny though.
Lindsay: She's cute. She's tiny, but it's a terrier thing. I think terriers. That's why Bagel and Cats, sorry, bagel cannot be around a cat. She can't tell the difference. She's like, oh, you're something I'm
Aron: supposed to eat. As a Jew. I've spent so much time around people with the last name Cats and bagels.
So in my head it's like the two go along. Great. It's a good
Danny: point. That is point's.
Aron: Really good point. Solid pun for everybody who's been writing us and asking for
Danny: those , everybody wants more Jewish material right now. Right now. In particular people. People love the juice. What are you talking? Are we having any issues right now?
I haven't
Aron: read the news. My understanding is that the Jews have always been popular historically,
Lindsay: the
Danny: most. I said last night on stage, and I thought this was a, a decent line, but I said that I, I, I said comeback minority of the year. Oh yeah. Oh, wow. Yeah. You know what I mean? Like we were cruising through the year and then.
Look who's back baby .
Aron: Take that nine binary community. Take that. I don't know who else to go
Danny: after. We're under attack, baby. I don't know who else to go after. Women had a very rough year. I would say women had a very rough year. Not anymore, sorry. But Lindsay, are you Jewish?
Lindsay: Aspirationally, but practically, no.
Danny: Really? And you have a dog named Bagel. Fascinating.
Aron: She's surrounded by Virgos and Jews. This is Lindsay's
Lindsay: life. All I've ever wanted to be. Well, when I was younger, My only dream was to have gay friends and Jewish friends, and now I've really made that my entire
Danny: life. Where are you from? Lindsay, Texas. Okay.
I'm from Virginia, so I was the only Jew in my area, and it was, uh, it was, yeah.
Lindsay: Had you been in Texas, I would've sought you out and said, Your Jewish person, please be my friend.
Danny: Could have used a, could have used a friend back then. Would've loved to,
Aron: would've would've loved it. I have a question. Let's pretend none of us have friends and we all have to hunt a squirrel for a month.
Oh yeah, yeah. So, yeah. So if we're gonna do this, I'm gonna, I'm just gonna go out there with a price already. I'm thinking I'll probably want $300,000. How'd you get there? $300,000 to me really is just like this idea of I'm gonna need to, I probably want to take at least 150,000 of it and retain. X para elite special forces people just to hunt the squirrel.
I wanna really go for it. I also wanna take about 50 grand and go maybe to, I dunno, like Caltech isn't far from here over in Pasadena. Right. And get some like really good like bioengineering and engineering students to make these little pellets for the the squirrel to be eating, plus this team to be tracking it.
Cuz I know I don't get paid out after. So if I could do that and give that 200 grand to that team and I just kind of. After that month of full-time work overseeing this whole team of people doing something ridiculous, I get to net a hundred grand. You know what? I'll take less if I net. If I net like, cuz it's still a waste of time and it could probably take away from other opportunities longer term in my life.
Danny: Couldn't take away from more opportunities. It's gonna be a full-time job. Yeah. I'm
Aron: gonna say two 40. If I got 40 grand net in the end for all that in my pocket for this thing that kind of disrupted my whole life and I kind of know it was worth it for that. Yeah. I think I can make it. 2 40, 2 50. Two 50.
I'm done you guys. What are you thinking? I think it's
Danny: a two person job. I think that's it. I think you can do this with two people. I think I'm only gonna do this if I'm gonna make six figures. I need to make a serious chunk of change. You're
Aron: netting six figures after all the overhead have to. It's gonna be a nightmare for a
Danny: month of work.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Cuz it's gonna fuck up everything I'm working on. This is, this is, I can't do standup comedy. I can't do anything. Your, your life is going to be squirrel for a month. So I'm gonna need to net a solid out. But I think I'm gonna come in under you because I think me and a friend, I get a hundred.
I'm with the organizer. Let's say I get my friend 60, I'm gonna throw my friend 40 cuz it's like, I got plenty of friends who would do it for 40, not as good
Aron: of a friend as I thought this person was apparently. And if they're
Danny: really gonna gimme sass, I'll, I'll do 16 hour days. He'll do eight hours. I mean, you know, it's like, just let me sleep, but let's get this done.
So a hundred to me, 40 to them. I'm gonna say another 20 worth of supplies. And, and then the only thing that I would ask of the person asking me to do this is just like, you gotta gimme some sort of mark on the squirrel so that we know we're, we're tracking the correct squirrel. As long as you gimme that cuz we're not gonna, the pellet thing I think is very, we're living in it, we're living in, in a very futuristic world.
I don't believe in it. I think that we're not gonna be able to have a pellet that, that tracks this thing. I need a mark on it's head. Just gimme one mark on it's head so that we, so that if we lose it for a second, we can get it. I think we can do a month. So I'm gonna go, uh, I'm gonna go 180.
Aron: Okay. And by the way, that's smart about the pellet thing cuz I'm gonna stand by it.
I committed to it. But they probably have such fast metabolisms that they're moving their bowels constantly. I like the The mark. Yeah. Yeah. If you do a red dot also, people will think there's a sniper following the squirrel. And
Danny: that's funny. I would be curious how much a squirrel moves around in a day.
I'm very curious about that sort of stuff. I'd be fascinated. Anyway, speaking of things
Aron: that remind me of squirrels. Lindsay, what's your price?
Lindsay: Aw, I have a very deep love of squirrels. I think they're so cute. Squirrel content really drives me wild. So you're, are you
Aron: on squirrel
Lindsay: talk? Oh, deep legitimately, yes I am.
The algorithm really knows me and knows what I like. But here's the thing. I feel like this is an opportunity. Make a statement about urban nature, the wildlife of a city, okay? And it's all or surrounding one squirrel named Gina. Gina the squirrel. And so I'm gonna make a documentary film called A Squirrel named Gina.
And then the subtitle is gonna be Nuts for Life, and it's gonna be all about Gina. But in the process I'll be telling the story about like urban wildlife, you know what I mean? So I'll have a documentary film crew. Okay. Tracking. Gina following her every move. Beautiful camera shots of her just being like Korney.
So it'll be at the end I'll have a beautiful film about a squirrel named Gina.
Aron: That's so smart. You're doing all the same work we're doing, but you're getting a piece of content out
Lindsay: of it. Yeah, it's gonna be a beautiful feature length documentary, and I'll just really go through the film festival circuit.
And just really preach the gospel of Gina.
Aron: I've been hearing that can, is getting ready to have a lot of squirrel media this year.
Lindsay: That's what I've heard. Squirrels are about to have a big year. I think everyone's heard that. Yeah. Yeah. So that's where I'm at and that's, that's not gonna be cheap. These are fancy cameras.
I'm talking like a lot of like different sort of like camera rigging systems, people to help track, you know, it's not gonna be cheap. So to make this documentary, I'm gonna. $950,000.
Aron: I mean, you're gonna have to GoPro the entire Silver Lake area. Right? Yeah. I presume that's where you're hunting a squirrel Silver Lake.
Well, like
Lindsay: I, I would imagine some sort like Silver Lakey, Griffith Park type of, yeah.
Danny: I hope it's in a park. I hope we're, we're letting a squirrel. Well, I guess not for yours.
Lindsay: I like Los Feis for it because there is a lot of wildlife around because of the park. You know what I mean? Like there's P 22, there's all these, there's coyotes, there's a bunch of like, you know, there's a lot of actual.
Wildlife around here, and I feel like that would be interesting.
Aron: Lindsay likes to slip P 22 anywhere she can. That's
Lindsay: the old LA
Danny: Cougar. What does that mean? What is it? What are we
Lindsay: talking about? It's the number that's the tracking number for the cougar. There's like a famous cougar in Los Angeles named P.
The number tracking number is P 22.
Aron: Wow. Speaking of tracking number, let's see what kind of numbers the listeners had to. For this question, do you guys want to hear about Liam first or Rebecca with one B? I'm gonna go
Danny: Rebecca, cause I really respect her lack of
Aron: B. It's either Rebecca with one B or a typo somewhere along the way.
I think it's one C. Listen, there's, there's only two E's. There's also one B though, to be fair. Lindsay, a hundred thousand dollars from Rebecca. Rebecca says, this would be so fascinating after picking my target, I try to trap them this way. I could install a GPS tracker. Once I get that in play, it'd be much easier to make sure I'm always able to help them.
Nonstop means night, so I'd be able to track its movements. When I'm sleeping a hundred thousand dollars for a month, salary is a ton of money, but I feel like I'm really giving up my time for something that doesn't matter, even if it'd be. Respect.
Danny: Okay, Rebecca? Yeah, sure. I didn't know we were allowed to sleep and not watch it.
It feels like that's cheating. Rebecca, if I may. I mean, it's
Lindsay: technically getting tracked, I guess.
Aron: Rebecca's about efficiency and then looking at Liam or Liam, if you want to pronounce it that way, five mils. Liam says, yeah, this sounds like an impossible task. I lose track of this thing every 30 minutes and then think I found it, but in reality it will be another squirrel.
Lindsay: They are tricky like that. I will say I will.
Aron: You know what else is tricky Dealing with X's Lindsay, take it
Lindsay: away guys. What's your price to annually? Call up one ex-partner and sing a ballad about your breakup.
Danny: You just have to do it once a year. It's annually.
Lindsay: Does it have to be the same X every time or do you have to switch it up?
Aron: Yeah, I think it just could be any
Danny: X. The girl who I date. The longest, besides my wife is like a very good friend, so that's like an easy, this is almost unfair for me, I will say is yeah, like Jessica, my ex, like I would call her anytime She, I, I, Jessica,
Aron: Jessica. I was trying to make you laugh, but yeah, we can go with that.
Jessica. I see
Danny: what you did. I'm so sorry. There we go. No, that's on me. That's on me. That's not on
Aron: you. Thank you for apologizing. Oh,
Lindsay: I see. I didn't that, I just got
Danny: that. That's okay. Right, right. I felt like it was a very quick, too quick. I
Lindsay: was like, he didn't say that. Go on. You're too
Danny: fast. Aron. But Jessica, I would call anytime she wanted.
Yeah, I would do that all the time. I, it's fine.
Aron: Are you willing to share on air what kind of ballad you would sing
Danny: to her? No. I mean, I'm not known for my.
Aron: Uh, uh, you could just tell us narratively what it's about, but if you wanna sing for us, we'll take a reverse. No,
Danny: no, no, no. I couldn't possibly, uh, it's embarrassing, but I would say that, um, yeah, I mean, I guess I would, I would because it's gotta be, the ball has to be about our, our relationship.
Right? It's like gotta be about your breakup, about our breakup. Yeah, it'd be sad. It'd be a sad, sad one. We were sad when we broke
Aron: up only the first time though, right? Like after like 10 years of this validating Once a year. I feel like it would get funny. Oh, it'd be fun.
Danny: I mean, well, but if I'm gonna, but if we have to sing about the breakup, right?
It's like that breakup was the toughest breakup I've ever been through because I liked her. Like we both liked each other. Nobody did anything terrible, which is why it was just. We're just not right. So it'd be hard. It was the saddest part. I, I used to have a joke about this, that it never worked, so I stopped doing it, but I was like, I would much rather be cheated on than break up with somebody.
I like being cheated on is so much easier. When you break up with someone you like, it's, it's a nightmare. You're just like, oh, there's no, it's, you're so indecisive in the moment. It's not clear. It's not obvious. So, yeah, so that breakup, like I always will think on that breakup is like, that was the toughest break I've ever been through, but great friend.
So I would do it, but it would be a sad song. I'd have to really go, I'd have to go heartfelt every single time. And I think, you know, it's a good singing exercise for me. I do sing, so it's like, you know, let's sing from a place of truth, sing from a place of honesty, sing from the heart.
I
Lindsay: like that. I like the idea of going heartfelt with it, because when I first saw this, I was like, I'm gonna have to make this out of a joke so I don't have to feel all my feelings.
Danny: I think you gotta feel the feelings. Which
Lindsay: X do I pick? Do I pick the ones I'm friends with or do I pick the ones I'm really not? Because it would be a really easy route to just. Because I'm close with a lot of my exes and I'm really not with some of them. You know what I mean? I hear you. So like, do I challenge myself or do I just go the easy route of jokey with my friend?
I
Aron: don't know. Give you rotation, do a different one every year. And if one really makes you wanna throw up, you just don't call them again. But also
Lindsay: sometimes going back into an ex's life and singing to them about the reasons that you're sad you broke up, isn't exactly the most like compassionate or caring thing.
Like sometimes it's best to just like, mm-hmm , hang up the phone and walk away and not fuck with them anymore and let them live their lives. You know what I mean? Like why open up an old wound?
Danny: Yeah. But if it's an old wound, like my thing with anybody who breaks up with. Is, I'm like, I, my rule is always like, I'm always like, and nobody does this, but this is what I tell people and then people across the board refuse to do what I tell them to do.
But I'm always like, just don't talk to them for four months. Yeah. Cause for four months it doesn't matter how much you thinking, it's just gonna hurt. It's gonna suck. You're gonna get snippy with each other. It's not good. Just take a four month break and in four months. Once time cuz time heals everything.
Four months you'll be fine.
Lindsay: It's classic. No contact. And it legitimately
Danny: helps. It legitimately helps and nobody can do it. Nobody can do it. People refuse. I love a good
Lindsay: no contact personally. Me
Aron: too. So Lindsay, do you know what genre of music you would do at the very least? Well, a
Danny: ballad Lindsay, are you good singer?
Aron: Well, you know, yes. She has the voice of an angel. She'll move your soul. Wow. I
Lindsay: hate to brag. I used to do musical theater in college.
Danny: Let's fucking Gome too. Really? Yeah. Yeah. I still do, I still do musical theater. Really? Agich. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I love, I I
Lindsay: love it. Oh, I love it. Like every time I'm, I'm in New York, I'm like, how many musicals can I go see?
I'm obsessed. I love, but I, but I lost, I I got the, yip. When it comes to singing in public.
Danny: Oh really? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Cause I'm so, I'm not a good singer, but I love musical theater and I still sing to this day. I had to sing, I've had to sing on a show. I've had to do some like very scary singing situations in my adult career.
And I'm always like, I, what I do, like now I do this one, I do this thing currently where I have to sing and the thing I do is before the. I sing the high note one time I go and I'd sing it and I go, that's. I believe. And then you just gotta go on stage and believe. You gotta, you can't get in your head.
The thing I'll watch people do is they'll just be like, ha ha. And they'll just start convincing themselves they're not gonna hit it. And they get in their head. It's like, you gotta hit it one time backstage, and you go, ah, that's it. And you go out stage, you just, here we go. You gotta believe in yourself.
That's a hot tip. Particularly when you're not a good singer. You gotta just go up there. You're not gonna learn how to get, be a better singer overnight. So you gotta just, you gotta, you got what you got and you gotta just hope today's one of those.
Lindsay: Confidence is everything. It is when it comes to singing,
Danny: particularly musical theater.
Lindsay: Oh, so I don't know if you guys know a singer named Taylor Swift. , but she has the top 10 songs on the Billboard 100 right now. Did
Danny: you know that?
Aron: That's interesting. Well, this is Lindsay. This episode comes out in like a few weeks, so it might be the top 20 by then. Basically,
Lindsay: she's good at songs. Oh, that's cool.
I feel like I like her approach of, of being like a long string of details that another person did and then like how she feels about it a little bit, and then more details. I think I might do a ballot like
Aron: that, like musical accounting. Wait, let's take inventory. A little
Danny: bit. Yeah. I would also say Taylor Swift, for what it's worth, famously sing songs about her exes.
Oh. If you're going down the Taylor Swift route, I think in many ways that's a great route to be
Lindsay: on. You know, I couldn't agree more. It's really her vibe is just talking about past relationships. So I feel like I, you know, I've never been a swifty myself, but I did listen to this most recent album and I said, you know what?
She's really working through stuff and I'm honored to be a part. So I feel like I'd probably do something in that, in, in that vein. Either that or just like go full wicked and I'm flying in the air and singing about define gravity. Yeah, I'm gonna defy gravity or something.
Aron: I'm a sensitive, sensitive creature.
I really struggle with all that stuff. Like I just really, it's hard for me to want to poke fun at breakups like I'm sure it would be for any of us, but just like the idea brings me such misery, just even thinking about like doing that. But there's one breakup I had. I think that would be the one I would do it with, which was in college.
Um, when I graduated college, I had an awesome girlfriend and she and I broke up, um, just cuz we were done with college. And the following summer I saw her and we were in a car. Driving somewhere together, just hanging out as friends. And I brought up the idea, like I thought about it a hundred times. I brought the idea of like, should we try dating again?
I just wanted to like feel it out and immediately got us into a horrible car accident. Cause I was too distracted with that question. It was so fucking funny. In hindsight of like I had been thinking about the right way to phrase the tee up and then fucked it up by crashing into another car. Sure, I'd probably do a comedic limerick ball.
About that and just call her once a year for us to kind of like laugh about that cuz we've never talked about it since.
Danny: It's crazy. You've never talked about it. Sorry.
Aron: Her answer was No, I'm sure. And so, which was discussed later, um, it was lovingly, sweetly and very empathetically given, though it wasn't just in the wreckage of the car to me and say, no.
Oh, that's a good one. I like. Yeah, I think I would do that. I don't know. Any of the other ones would just make me, I don't know. I just like, I get sad thinking about doing it.
Lindsay: I like that that one has like, there's some poetry in it. Poetic accident happening when you were in that, you know what I mean? I feel like you could get a real good ballot outta that
Aron: one for this prompt.
I don't wanna go to any X's that are like small Xes, right? Like I feel like this has to be like the big swingers. Mm-hmm. .
Danny: It's gotta be a big player and it's gotta be, I think all of us agree. Someone who. You wanna sing too.
Lindsay: Yeah. But also not someone that you would hurt their feelings terribly by coming back into their life and trying to sing them a song.
Because there are a couple people I could think of that would be like that. It would not be a good situ, it wouldn't be kind of me to show up and start
Danny: singing to them. Correct. Sure, sure, sure. You also have to have, like my ex, who I'm close with, like when I started dating my wife, I remember having to be like, you're gonna see text messages between me and my ex.
That's just gonna be a, you're gonna see her and I texting. You're just gonna have to know that's a thing and we just can't have an issue on it cuz it's just gonna be there. And that was like a real thing. So also I would say that I have clearance with my wife to make that call. And I think she does the same thing with whoever she's dating.
If like I text my ex. So we'd have a really good, we'd have a really good situation. That's perfect.
Aron: All right. What's your price, guys? So we're talking about doing this ballot thing. I'll just throw it out there. I would, I don't think I would need a lot. I think if you pay me. For the rest of my life. I feel like the later years could be scary or sad.
Like what if they pass away before you and you have to like call their voicemail to do it also? Oh,
Lindsay: that's so sad. Aron. Yeah. Yeah. Wait, wait, wait. Did we start out? You, this is a valid that we need to, we are writing and, and creating the ballot. You know, we're not doing a cover. We're writing and creating this ballot on our own.
Aron: Oh God. We got a message. I dunno if you saw it. Our producer Rob said, you need a new ex. If they. Jesus Christ,
Danny: Rob, they gotta clarify the rules. Gotta clarify the rules.
Aron: Listen, Rob loves a rule. Thank you, Rob. I'll say a hundred grand. Like just, uh, cover the years and let me get some, let me get like some good comfortable money out of it that isn't overwhelming, but enough that when I tell the person, for the rest of your life I will be doing this to you annually, , I want them to say, oh, for a hundred grand.
Yeah, that makes sense. Versus like, oh, it was worth 20. It was worth $25 to just
Danny: bother. I think that's a really good number. I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say one 50 just cuz I, you know, drive a hard bargain. But I think I'd go down to a hundred. I think that like rest of my life, I'm happy to do it. I really, yeah, cuz I think the only thing is like, I'd probably throw some money in my Xs and be like, I'm sorry about this.
I'm gonna say one 50 Lindsay,
Lindsay: I'm figuring out how many more years I'll probably be alive unless I die early.
Aron: It's astounding. I, I can't imagine there's a lot of podcasts where the guests and people often talk about how long they have left to. It's like a running theme on our show of people being like, Hmm, well I'll probably die at 85, so I just
Lindsay: wanna make sure if I stayed in this apartment for the rest of my life, I would like it if this valid task monthly covered my rent.
Aron: You are a millennial, so you might be in that
Lindsay: apartment. Oh yeah. I'm not buying a house anytime soon, so unless I use this for my down payment.
Danny: That's what I mean. But you could, that'd be enough for a down.
Lindsay: It'd be, it'd be a good start. I mean, in this market, however, the market's going down, maybe, maybe in the next few months, you buy,
Danny: I mean, you're not gonna be able to buy a mansion, but you can buy a 500 K.
You know, one bedroom. One bedroom, little condo. Yeah. And then once you're in the real estate market, as we all know, then the train starts rolling. Once you're in, you're in, then you're in your in. I can tell you all about this. I'm gonna
Lindsay: say $300,000. Nice.
Danny: I like
Aron: that. It's the least I would. Do you wanna hear what Derek had to say first?
Or Priscilla? Let me tell you that Priscilla is probably gonna surprise you, but Derek will also surprise. Okay, so that's equal. Danny, I don't need that. I just need a decision. ,
Lindsay: I picked Derek. I once knew I had a crush on a guy named Derek when I was in third grade, and I feel like I'm just going back to that.
Well,
Aron: maybe that was this Derek, which makes it really ironic cuz Derek said $10,000 wrote, I've never had an X, but I'm taking a lump of money in case I have one on in the future. Derek, maybe that was your Derek Lindsay. Maybe Derek didn't have next because you didn't
Danny: act. Derek, listen, you gotta get out there.
Aron: All right, let's do it Danny, do the pep talk. You get one minute. Soapbox it
Danny: Derek. I was there. I've lived that life of like, it just, nobody wants to. They do. You have to accept, genuinely you will get to a place where you're like any, anybody who likes me isn't worth. Like them. Let just date someone to date someone.
Sometimes. Just let people into your life. It's vulnerable, it's hard, it's so worth it, and it'll build you. Even if somebody isn't perfect, it'll build you to that perfect person, but you can't just start at the perfect person. Just start doing it.
Lindsay: You can also. Try to go out and meet different kinds of people who maybe you have your same interests or get new interests, you know what I mean?
Build these parts of yourself so you can have different kinds of, you know, connections, Derek. Sure, sure, sure. Maybe pottery would be a fun thing to try. Don't do
Danny: pottery. Don't do pottery. Derek.
Aron: Derek can do what Derek wants, but let's talk about Priscilla for one second. Priscilla put 15 million and said, I only have one X, and they cheated on me.
With a good friend of mine. Yeah. Lost two people who I cared for deeply in that one moment. The idea of reliving this yearly sounds heartbreaking. I think we know who Derek needs to hit up. That's
Danny: tough. I've been cheated on and it's, it's not a good time, but, I'll tell you, it's easy to hate them. It's just someone you're hating.
You get to torture them, eh? It's fine. Go on, Priscilla. You're all right. You're
Aron: right. Well, speaking of hating, you know what we don't hate? We don't hate taking a quick pause before. Next question. Just remind everyone. Your submissions are all coming from human values podcast.com. Keep on sending your feedback, keep on sending your questions.
It's all awesome. Tell your friends about the podcast. Listen, we just love you guys. We love having fun with you guys. Look at Danny over there giving great advice to you guys cause you're sending us your prompts and questions. Just keep it up.
Lindsay: Keep it up. Speaking of keeping it up, ooh, ew. You know how we talked earlier about would there be a good time to raise our desks and see if it felt different?
So it okay. This is so beautiful. Just seeing like the camera raise up for both of you. , I'm up. How does it feel? Do you feel
Danny: different? Ooh, I feel locked in. Oh. Stretching it out. Feel locked in. I'm focused. I'm ready to go.
Aron: Oh God. I, I'm standing up now. I can feel the blood. Get into my legs. Speaking of blood.
Get into places in our body. Lindsay Bleed. Mm,
Lindsay: delicious guys. What's your price? To drink a pint of human blood in one
Aron: sitting. Let's presume it's ethically found and harvested. Yeah. The
Lindsay: person giving it, they were like, I really need to get rid of this blood pint. Ooh wee. Yeah, and they want it. They want
Aron: you to drink it.
They want you to drink it. I mean, there's all those creepy fetishy people that like wanna be eaten alive and like there's the creepy things. Someone out there will just donate a pint of blood Who's.
Danny: Also, everybody should be donating blood. You should donate blood every three months. It's the easiest way to save three lives.
I
Lindsay: love that. I never think about it. That is such a hot tip. It never occurs to me,
Danny: Danny. You literally sit down for 20 minutes and then you eat some Oreos and you save three people's lives. Everybody should be donating blood all the time. Desperate need at all times. So let's assume this, this blood came from one of.
Maybe my own blood before I give blood regularly. Are they
Aron: accepting gay blood yet? Right. Like there's the whole fear of it having aids in it. Like do any blood yet?
Lindsay: No. They're still not. They're still not. We are still in the dark ages in so many ways.
Aron: We'll find somebody who is homosexual, who has a little bit too much blood and just wants it to be donated to somebody.
Because of our fucked up system. Can I,
Lindsay: can I pick the person I want to drink their blood? Because I feel like that would make it more enjoyable for me personally.
Danny: Weird. Um,
it's a wild thing to say. I, uh, but I think Yeah, sure. What kind of person would you want? Whose blood you'd want to drink? Are we looking at an enemy? Are we looking at a friend? A
Lindsay: friend, a good friend? I mean someone who I was looking to like, you know, grow our bond like somebody I'm dating or a close like bestie.
I'm like Aron. We've been such good friends for a long time and I feel like,
Aron: say it. I've been waiting to hear this. Say it. Oh my God, I'm
Lindsay: so ready. I want us to be. Closer. I feel like our friendship is so strong in the way that we could be better bonded is if, well, can I drink a pint
Aron: of your blood? Oh God.
I've been waiting for you to ask Lindsay. Yes, you can. Here's a jar. I actually let out a pint of blood every time I'm about to see you in case you're gonna ask. Let me go grab it. It's still a little bit warm. Can I have some of your blood? Brutal.
Lindsay: Well, here's the thing, I'm terribly anemic. It wouldn't be very good.
No, fine. You can have my blood. So yeah, I think that if, if I. If it could be more of like a, an exchange that was more meaningful, you know, that felt a little bit like a sort of ceremony. You know, like maybe it's my wedding day. Oh God. I'm like, we're gonna do a blood ceremony.
Aron: This is like a Game of Thrones, Carl Drogo ritual.
So we're doing
Danny: this in front of our families. Let's also remember that that means that your mother is now gonna watch you
Lindsay: drink. No, no, no. I don't think it's like, like on at the altar. I don't think I'm gonna drink the blood. I think that would, that would. Some people a little queasy. I think this is just between me and the person I'm marrying of like, okay, it's blood time bitch that they're
Aron: gonna watch you drink my blood.
No,
Lindsay: no. My partner's blood that I'm gonna
Aron: marry. Oh, I thought you were like, when I get married, maybe they'll watch me intimately drink Aaron's blood. . No. What? I was flattered.
Lindsay: No, whoever I'm marrying, it could be our, our little, our little thing that we do like on Dragon, they did a whole blood ceremony thing.
But this is just like take, like really turning up the volume on the wedding day blood ceremony. All of this said, I think it's gross and I don't really wanna do it. I'm trying to, you know, find the silver lining.
Aron: Can you cut it with like water or orange juice
Danny: or maybe some? It's a great question. Cause on one hand you're like, it'll make it go down easier, but then it's also gonna be longer.
It's gonna be a longer process. A pint is no joke, too. Pint is a lot of liquid. That's
Lindsay: a lot of liquid. If this was like a shot, that would be one thing, but you're gonna be, you're gonna be at it for a long time. And I'm a really slow drinker. I had to take tiny little sips, like people that can chug. I can't chug.
Danny, can you. Not really. You can't chug. I can't chug, so it would be a long time. I'm really just like having forced to savor this blood. Yeah. It's
Danny: made me
Aron: thirsty. I'm gonna say 10 grand. I can do this. I, I'll say 10 grand cuz I, I will never in my life. I've said this before on the podcast, like once before, I never in my life can imagine ever having the money to burn that.
I would buy a Rolex, but I would chug a pint of blood for a Rolex and I want a good one. So I will, I will receive 10, I'll take 10 grand for the taxes on top. I want the Explorer two, the white one. It's light silver. You look at Rolexes, you think
Danny: about which one? I'm a
Aron: watch person. Are you? Are you? Yeah. I can't afford the ones that I'm like madly in love with, but I, I still collect watches that are more affordable.
Danny: That's dope. I wear a watch, but I'm not a watch person. I just wear one. Interesting. I know what kind
Aron: of watch. I don't know.
Danny: What's your price? ? Whatever you want.
Aron: No, no. What's what's your price for this? I don't know.
Danny: Oh, got it. Yes. I mean, I'm gonna go higher than 10. I think that's a little low. Um, I'm gonna, but, but I agree that like, I think this is doable.
It's not like a long task fitty. Dollars.
Aron: Okay. Okay. Like you're agreeing with me about
Danny: $50 and in a sense, yes, but in another sense, $50,000 .
Aron: Okay. Fair. I like 50,000 for it. You and I are so out of sync when we're standing. Danny. Every bit in which you and I were synergizing off each other fell apart when we stood
Danny: up.
Can I say something though? I feel like it's making us closer. Oh
Lindsay: yeah. It's almost as if you're drinking each other's
Danny: blood. Through missing, we're hitting if, if that makes sense. It doesn't keep going. So, cause we're missing, it's hitting. The misses do hit, the misses hit and then they hits. And then sometimes there's a hit, which comes as a miss.
Which is a hit. So
Aron: we're seeing $50,000 for you. Yes. 10 grand for me. And then Lindsay with her face buried in her hand, clearly loves this idea of drinking a pint of my blood at her wedding with her. I drink my blood
Lindsay: buny. I, the thought of it is like actually thinking about like the cup, like seeing it full, like thinking of like, it, like blood in my mouth.
It's so gross to me. It's so disgusting. I mean, I don't eat meat. I don't have blood in my life. I don't have any sort of like, all of it is just gross to me and feels wrong. Even if it's given willingly. It just feels gross. I'm gonna also say $50,000. It won't kill me. There's no lasting damage. It's just gonna be disgusting.
Aron: Right. Do you guys want to hear about Delilah? Who said 50? Or Ben who said 25? Oh, I guess. I guess Ben, right? Ben said $25. We've had dollars. Uh, gotcha. Yep. Uh, Ben said 25 bucks and said, I think it'd be a cool thing to try once. I agree. By the way, I just wanna. Ben Tough. Delilah said 50 million and wrote the following.
Drinking a pint of blood can cause severe health risks, including damage to vital organs. At first, they thought no amount of money, but then figured that I could do this in one sitting over the course of many, many hours. Do it slow and steady, and the amount of money takes care of my family, my kids, their kids, and maybe another generat.
Mm.
Danny: Smart to think about the health risk. If she's, if she's correct about the health risk, then that's, then that's worth noting.
Lindsay: Drinking blood causes damage to your vital organs. What, I never
Danny: knew this. You would think that it would be blood inside. It would be just
Aron: blood. Maybe it's too much iron. Maybe you consume these foreign cells.
I don't know. Wow.
Lindsay: I'm just, I'm just looking this up. I'm just like, what is going on? Is it true? Apparently it's, that's real. And it says, sorry. This is healthline.com. Some groups and subcultures gravitate towards practices like drinking blood, such as Arians or the vampire lifestyle. But even within these communities and organizations, they all warn about the risks of drinking actual blood.
Oh my God. There's a TMZ article about it, because remember when Megan Fox and Machine Gun Kelly were like, we drink each other's blood. Right, right, right. Then like all these people, doctors came out and they're like, Hey, don't do that because you could get sick because there's potential for bloodborne illness, which.
Aron: I don't know, but that's not as big of a risk of what we're doing. Remember when there was
Danny: a period, this was probably five years ago. Do you remember when there was a period where they like. Really tried to convince us Megan Fox was normal. Like I, I, I think people forget about this cuz she came outta the gates weird.
And then they were like, no, no, no, she actually is like really normal and cool and like she's a mom now and she's totally normal. And everybody was like, well that's interesting cuz every other thing we've ever heard about her is that she's insane but I guess she's normal. And then she's like fully gone back to being crazy.
It's very fascinating. But they really tried to talk us to, for a hot second, a PR firm really tried to convince. Said she was normal. Good
Aron: for them. They took the Sian route and you gotta
Danny: give 'em credit. Now They're back now, but now we're just fully back to like making fox drinks and Kelly's blood on that
Aron: topic.
We're at the end of our game, Danny, except for one last game, which is try and guess you, me and Lindsay, each needed to be paid to do a bunch of things today. Who do you think was the most expensive? And Lindsay will tell some
Danny: answers. I'm gonna say most expensive. I'm saying Lindsay.
Lindsay: Oh my God, you're right.
It was me at 1.3. Million dollars. But then next down after me is you, Danny at $380,000 and then it's Aron at $360,000. You guys are really
Aron: close. Wow. Look at us just hanging out as Little Buddies. Two
Danny: Stand
Lindsay: and Buds. Sorry. That squirrel documentary really pushed me over the edge.
Danny: Yes, but you at least, but you might make back money for your, uh, finance.
So, Danny,
Aron: when you're not on this podcast with us right now, what are you doing in your life? What's coming up? Where can people find you? Let everyone know how they can stalk you like you would stalk a
Danny: s. Sure, sure, sure, sure, sure. So everybody's listening to this podcast. There's, there's one real request I have, uh, I just put out a special called you choose, uh, it is an interactive comedy special.
It is a basically a choose your own adventure. So you pick my jokes throughout the special, it is for free on YouTube. It is, uh, the most amount of effort put into a free special of all time. Uh, and I cannot beg you enough to give it a chance. And the one thing I always add is that there is something that happens at the.
That is really, I believe, important. We've gotten a certain type of write up consistently and there's a reason for it. It's cuz of the last joke. It's cuz of what the special is about, more than you think. So give it a shot. It's only 35 to 45 minutes through based on your choices. So it's not as long as a normal special.
Give it a chance. It's really fun. It's called you choose interact comedy special. And then you can follow me on social media at Danny Jo. J o l l e. Sers have taken our jobs is very important that you follow us. And other than that, you know, just, uh, that's it. That's
Lindsay: amazing. Now I'm so curious. I'm like, I gotta go watch this special, immediately.
Go watch a special. That's what I'm gonna do. I gotta go. I
Danny: gotta go watch this special and then share it. It's so important. And then if you like it, share it for love of God. Amazing.
Aron: Listen, the most amazing part of today really though, is this, this time with you. The rest of my day is a wash. Now.
Lindsay: This was so much fun.
I really, really had a great time talking to you. I feel like I want to talk to you so much about everything going on. These obscure sports. Um, I can't wait to go listen to your podcast and to watch your special. You're just really putting out all of this fire content and I can't wait to be a part of this ecosystem of
Danny: yours.
I so appreciate that. Hit me up. Maybe, maybe we can get you on the pod Ooh, your guests on and try to have you on, and, uh, I really appreciate it. This was a really fun podcast. You guys run a great podcast. Yay.
Aron: You're the light of our lives. And I would be lost walking through this dark Avis reality without you by
Danny: my side.
It just doesn't feel like you're saying it from the heart.
Aron: Danny. I thought you were a thoughtful, wonderful, present guest who played the game, right, and also brought a lot of real just empathetic values to the the show that not everyone bring.
Danny: Aron, you're phenomenal. You quick on your feet. It was wonderful meeting you, and I really enjoyed my time.
Yay. Thank
Lindsay: you.
Aron: Danny, you wanna piece out with a compliment to the listener, just three words. You only get three. Take a chance
Danny: on Derek. On Derek, on anyone but Derek also. You take a chance. Take a chance.
Aron: If I were a boat, I'd be floating on a river right now. That was just, Ooh,
Lindsay: if I were a train, I'd be chew, choo chewing and steaming all up and down the riverside.
You know what I'm saying?
Aron: Oh, I know what you're saying. If I were a cloud, I'd be one of your hoo choo clouds coming out of your hoo choo chimney. Oh, I
Lindsay: would hoo choo you out. You little cloud boy.
Aron: Ooh Stanley. Tuchi taking it back a little bit. You know what else takes us back? Nostalgia for how much we love you guys, cuz it's all the time in the past of present and in the future.
If you guys wanna show us your love, head over to human values podcast.com. Go over there, help us come up with more questions, send us your thoughts on the polls, the whole nine yard. Speaking of yards, Lindsay, want to take a lap? Hey,
Lindsay: I do. I'm already running. It's a relay race. If you enjoy today's episode or if you just really like the show, please spread the word.
We appreciate it so much to throw a little extra love our way. Please leave us a review on your favorite podcasting app and maybe leave us a rating while you're there. And if you do, we'll choose you for a shout out
Aron: possibly. We're your hosts Lindsay Hicks? Aron. Reuben. Korney. Hey, that's our names.
Special thanks to our guests this week. Danny
Lindsay: Jealous. Our lead producer is Rob Goldman. Our producers are Shahnti Brooke and Aron. Reuben Korney. Our editor is Andrew Sims. Our engineer is Jason for, and our music is by Omer. Ben-Zvi.
Aron: Yeah. All information, research and advice shared on today's episode we're expressed for entertainment purposes.
Statements provided by the human values hosts production team, and guests should not be taken as professional advice or fact made
Lindsay: to human values is a human content production. Yeah.
