Full Transcript for Active Aging: Staying Engaged, Connected, and Curious as We Grow Older

of musical performances. We love that. 00:02:40.392 --> 00:02:43.132 Mainly the orchestra, but also some other things. We like jazz. 00:02:44.044 --> 00:02:48.774 We joined an organization you may be familiar with called Friends in the City. 00:02:49.598 --> 00:02:56.168 That was practically the minute that I retired, we did that because I'd been 00:02:56.168 --> 00:03:00.074 working virtually here for two years before I retired and we knew no one. 00:03:00.672 --> 00:03:06.278 So we were early joiners of Friends in the City and we've been a part of that 00:03:06.278 --> 00:03:07.708 organization ever since. 00:03:07.708 --> 00:03:13.438 It's now got over 650 members. So that provides a lot of different activities, 00:03:13.438 --> 00:03:17.841 and I would say that's like the main social engine for us right now. 00:03:18.193 --> 00:03:22.399 I do yoga several times a week, and I exercise. 00:03:22.898 --> 00:03:28.988 I love webinars and podcasts on just all kinds of weird subjects, 00:03:28.988 --> 00:03:30.694 so I can listen to anything. 00:03:31.135 --> 00:03:34.737 And I'm also an avid indoor gardener. 00:03:34.888 --> 00:03:39.897 So taken all together, that keeps me pretty busy when I do volunteer work. 00:03:41.146 --> 00:03:45.048 So have you always been someone who likes to stay active and involved, 00:03:45.048 --> 00:03:48.122 or has this become more important as you've gotten older? 00:03:48.389 --> 00:03:50.172 This is retirement life. 00:03:50.485 --> 00:03:55.588 I mean, when we were working and had the kids and commuting, 00:03:55.588 --> 00:04:00.128 which was significant in the New York area, you know, that was our whole life. 00:04:00.128 --> 00:04:02.780 There was no possibility to do retirement. 00:04:04.347 --> 00:04:08.859 Other kinds of things. So we really didn't have a chance. And when I first retired, 00:04:08.859 --> 00:04:11.418 I was a little worried about it. It was kind of a challenge. 00:04:11.801 --> 00:04:13.548 What do you do if you have nothing to do? 00:04:14.640 --> 00:04:20.129 So we moved back to Philly in part for that reason, because you can't live in 00:04:20.129 --> 00:04:23.713 Center City, Philadelphia, and not have something to do. There's just too much here. 00:04:24.212 --> 00:04:26.476 I'd say that we're having a great time so far. 00:04:27.092 --> 00:04:33.289 Your husband, too? Yeah, for sure. So we often hear about the importance of 00:04:33.289 --> 00:04:38.980 staying active as we get older, but being active can mean something different to everyone. 00:04:39.321 --> 00:04:44.409 I'd love to hear your take on when you hear the words active aging, 00:04:44.409 --> 00:04:46.531 what does that personally mean to you? 00:04:47.162 --> 00:04:54.459 I think it means that you have a rare opportunity to do whatever you want in 00:04:54.459 --> 00:04:56.451 the time that is in front of you. 00:04:57.559 --> 00:05:04.161 But I've just observed myself that it's a lot easier if you start by protecting 00:05:04.161 --> 00:05:08.554 your physical strength and resiliency. 00:05:09.099 --> 00:05:14.821 One of the things that I've learned through experience is that the more you 00:05:14.821 --> 00:05:21.224 do, even if it's tiny things, the more you do, the more you can do. 00:05:22.547 --> 00:05:25.095 People are sometimes afraid to. 00:05:27.226 --> 00:05:33.341 Push past a little pain. But anybody in my age group has got a little pain. 00:05:33.341 --> 00:05:36.881 So the only way to deal with it is to push past it, you know, 00:05:36.881 --> 00:05:40.877 with some exceptions for serious conditions, understandably. 00:05:41.736 --> 00:05:48.040 And I liked what you said. Essentially, if you don't use it, you might lose it. 00:05:48.325 --> 00:05:54.751 So if you start giving up certain aspects of mobility or socialization or the 00:05:54.751 --> 00:05:58.629 things that you like, your world can start becoming a bit smaller 00:05:58.919 --> 00:06:03.714 and then that that does start creating its own problems. So a pandemic. 00:06:04.523 --> 00:06:09.306 I mean, I had I struggled with that because I love to be around people. 00:06:09.463 --> 00:06:19.411 So I mean, that really decreased a lot of my mental stimulation and socializing. 00:06:19.411 --> 00:06:22.159 So, yeah, I mean, I personally struggled with that. 00:06:22.882 --> 00:06:30.670 Well, this is the kind of resilience that that experience helps to enable, I think. Mm hmm. 00:06:32.035 --> 00:06:39.401 And so going back to the act of aging and staying active and involved, 00:06:39.999 --> 00:06:45.077 what would you say that really adds to your life, really focusing, 00:06:45.077 --> 00:06:46.959 making this a focus of your retirement? 00:06:47.598 --> 00:06:52.573 Well, I think I kind of said it before. We work very hard for a very long time, 00:06:53.089 --> 00:06:59.214 and we totally regard this as our opportunity to have fun and pursue interesting adventures. 00:07:00.796 --> 00:07:06.926 Neither of us is too good about being bored i suspect you're that way too so, 00:07:07.594 --> 00:07:13.117 here we are in philadelphia you wake up in the morning and literally a million 00:07:13.117 --> 00:07:17.697 things are at your feet that you could choose to do that day from volunteer 00:07:17.697 --> 00:07:22.037 work to cultural activities to history anything you want. 00:07:23.292 --> 00:07:28.266 This is a bit of a side question. Living in Philadelphia before and now for 00:07:28.266 --> 00:07:32.021 18 years, what are some of your favorite things about Philadelphia? 00:07:32.986 --> 00:07:39.036 Oh, my gosh. I'll tell you a very quick story. So I grew up in a military family, 00:07:39.036 --> 00:07:43.761 so I lived in some really blah places, a lot of really blah places. 00:07:44.353 --> 00:07:48.976 And then I went to college in Washington, D.C., which at that time, 00:07:48.976 --> 00:07:52.404 which was a long time ago, was still fairly blah. 00:07:52.968 --> 00:07:57.126 We moved

to Philly and I saw all these different neighborhoods and all these 00:07:57.126 --> 00:08:04.869 different ethnicities and all of this historical and cultural opportunity. 00:08:05.363 --> 00:08:08.793 And, you know, we kind of fell in love with it. 00:08:09.435 --> 00:08:11.456 I personally believe that Philadelphia 00:08:11.456 --> 00:08:16.471 is a really terrific place to spend this time in life. Mm-hmm. 00:08:17.638 --> 00:08:23.926 So how would you say that your perspective on what it means to age well has 00:08:23.926 --> 00:08:26.179 changed as you've gotten older? 00:08:27.397 --> 00:08:33.986 Well, I guess the thing that was the biggest awakening is that I discovered 00:08:33.986 --> 00:08:40.248 that aging well doesn't come to you by default, either mentally or physically. 00:08:41.235 --> 00:08:49.592 And I've kind of learned that it requires a some investment in the effort of aging well. 00:08:50.190 --> 00:08:57.347 And so that's what my activities, my exercise, and so forth is doing. 00:08:59.227 --> 00:09:02.257 And what has surprised you most about this stage of life? 00:09:03.029 --> 00:09:08.079 That I have never in my entire life been more comfortable with myself. 00:09:09.403 --> 00:09:11.364 And I find somehow, 00:09:14.318 --> 00:09:19.281 that there's this aspiration of living in the moment and I'm closer to that 00:09:19.430 --> 00:09:22.483 at this point in life than I ever was before. 00:09:23.672 --> 00:09:29.033 And to me, that's so inspirational and aspirational where, you know, 00:09:29.593 --> 00:09:33.273 as I've gotten older, I've started to feel more comfortable with myself and 00:09:33.273 --> 00:09:40.203 to know that that only deepens or I have the opportunity to deepen it as I get older, too. 00:09:40.203 --> 00:09:44.159 So I just I just love to hear that. Something something to look forward to. 00:09:45.873 --> 00:09:51.583 And we deserve that. Mm-hmm. Now, we've been touching on the fact that active 00:09:51.583 --> 00:09:56.246 aging isn't exclusively about physical activity. 00:09:56.519 --> 00:09:58.773 It's also about continuing to 00:09:58.773 --> 00:10:03.712 learn and connect with others and find purpose in the things that we do. 00:10:04.205 --> 00:10:09.573 Now, I do still want to focus on the physical activity. And I know you mentioned, 00:10:09.573 --> 00:10:12.872 you know, Philly's a walkable city and you do some yoga. 00:10:13.569 --> 00:10:20.011 How would you say that physical activity, what role does that play in your life today? 00:10:20.629 --> 00:10:27.053 I think of it as foundational because, as I said before, the more you do, the more you can do. 00:10:27.893 --> 00:10:33.103 So I might not feel like doing it every day, but I know it's in my own best 00:10:33.103 --> 00:10:37.155 interest to do at least a little every day. 00:10:38.319 --> 00:10:41.610 Just to walk around the city requires a certain amount of resilience. 00:10:42.173 --> 00:10:44.751 So for me, it's a good investment. 00:10:45.846 --> 00:10:52.193 And what keeps you mentally active and curious? Well, that's such an interesting 00:10:52.193 --> 00:10:57.403 question. I think to some degree, it's just a characteristic that I was born with. 00:10:57.815 --> 00:11:02.836 But, you know, I'm repeating myself again, but there's so much here in Philly. 00:11:03.358 --> 00:11:09.541 And participating in organizations like FITSI, Friends in the City, 00:11:09.976 --> 00:11:15.002 helps because you get invitations to wonderful things you'd never think of doing yourself. 00:11:15.397 --> 00:11:22.602 And so I think being active with other people is a wonderful way to keep at it. 00:11:24.004 --> 00:11:30.116 And is there anything more that you want to say about the role that your friendships, 00:11:30.116 --> 00:11:33.014 family, and your community play in your life? 00:11:33.695 --> 00:11:37.706 Yeah. I think I mentioned before I grew up in a military family, 00:11:37.706 --> 00:11:42.201 which means that I moved a lot and I was perpetually the new girl. 00:11:43.276 --> 00:11:48.736 That was like until I was in college. And nowadays, you know, 00:11:48.736 --> 00:11:52.798 a lot of people think about moving to different communities when they're older and so on and so forth. 00:11:53.525 --> 00:11:58.146 Nothing gives me a bigger thrill than being out and about and having someone 00:11:58.146 --> 00:12:03.817 recognize me and say hi, because that's not any experience that I had when I was younger. 00:12:04.392 --> 00:12:11.597 And I just think the value of community is something we should never take for granted. 00:12:12.666 --> 00:12:18.246 And you might have touched on it already, but I just want to focus on the word 00:12:18.246 --> 00:12:23.406 purpose, because that's such a big part of life, and especially maintaining 00:12:23.406 --> 00:12:27.324 that purpose in a retirement portion of your life. 00:12:27.643 --> 00:12:32.850 So what right now is giving you a sense of purpose? 00:12:33.538 --> 00:12:36.911 Well, for me, it's my family. 00:12:37.889 --> 00:12:42.910 I am involved in several volunteer activities, which I think is really important. 00:12:44.063 --> 00:12:50.396 It's, you know, doing for others is one of the three criteria they they tout for happiness. 00:12:52.451 --> 00:12:57.161 The other two are social connections and gratitude. 00:12:57.921 --> 00:13:07.408 So gratitude, having a social network, and doing for others are the purported keys to happiness. 00:13:07.756 --> 00:13:12.556 So, And the other thing that I've been focusing on, trying to focus on lately 00:13:12.556 --> 00:13:16.452 is just because we need it, is just being kind. 00:13:18.498 --> 00:13:22.991 Is there anything that you want to share about the volunteer work that you're doing? 00:13:23.884 --> 00:13:30.477 Well, after I retired, I was sort of leveraging what my career had been, 00:13:30.477 --> 00:13:36.177 and I produced websites for three different nonprofit

groups. 00:13:36.177 --> 00:13:40.487 So I did that. I don't do that anymore because technology became a little bit 00:13:40.487 --> 00:13:42.089 of a challenge as I got older. 00:13:42.339 --> 00:13:46.247 And that's not a reflection on my age. That's a reflection on technology. 00:13:46.827 --> 00:13:54.707 But I do some volunteer work with HIAS, which is an immigration organization. And, 00:13:56.727 --> 00:14:00.567 I guess it's volunteer work, but I volunteer for the Penn Memory Center. 00:14:00.567 --> 00:14:05.887 I'm just a study subject, probably a control subject. I don't really know. 00:14:05.887 --> 00:14:11.224 But I'm doing my third or fourth study for them. 00:14:12.187 --> 00:14:14.707 So that keeps me pretty busy. 00:14:15.824 --> 00:14:21.822 And I do a few other things as well. I've been doing a lot of political stuff lately, too. 00:14:22.576 --> 00:14:28.547 Well, thank you for everything that you're giving back to the community and, 00:14:29.027 --> 00:14:32.527 being able to make a difference, you know, where you've been living for 18 years 00:14:32.847 --> 00:14:36.207 and before. So 18 plus years. 18 plus. 00:14:38.447 --> 00:14:42.829 Two and a half. So, of course, staying active, it's not going to mean that everything stays the same. 00:14:42.992 --> 00:14:49.402 And just an aspect of aging can also mean having to learn how to adapt. 00:14:50.520 --> 00:14:57.977 Have you had to adjust how you stay active or do the things that you enjoy as 00:14:57.977 --> 00:15:00.226 you've gotten older? Absolutely. 00:15:01.909 --> 00:15:06.558 My walks are shorter than they used to be. I mean, we used to love hiking. 00:15:07.017 --> 00:15:11.533 We don't do that anymore. It's just not a good idea for us. 00:15:12.178 --> 00:15:15.611 Bedtime is earlier, which I'm now grateful for. 00:15:16.865 --> 00:15:23.359 And I find myself saying, huh, much too often, huh? Much too often. 00:15:24.460 --> 00:15:30.551 But aside from that, I haven't really adjusted to other things much. 00:15:31.944 --> 00:15:35.467 What's something you think people misunderstand about getting older? 00:15:36.530 --> 00:15:41.935 Well, I'm very frustrated with what I see as rampant ageism. 00:15:41.935 --> 00:15:46.560 Anybody watching or listening to this podcast will understand that. 00:15:48.581 --> 00:15:52.905 The big secret is that people only look older inside. 00:15:53.172 --> 00:15:56.028 They're still the same people they were in their 30s and 40s, 00:15:56.417 --> 00:16:01.325 but I find a lot of people to be pretty patronizing with older people. 00:16:01.325 --> 00:16:05.125 Like, I happen to come from a high-tech background, so I'm pretty techie. 00:16:05.125 --> 00:16:10.052 And when I go into a shop and people are explaining to me how to click a link. 00:16:12.105 --> 00:16:17.355 I get pretty upset about it. So I wish there was a way that we could deliver 00:16:17.355 --> 00:16:22.827 the message that old people are just young people inside old

bodies. 00:16:24.102 --> 00:16:31.315 And uh early days of the podcast i had gerontologist on and she did her graduate 00:16:31.315 --> 00:16:34.805 studies on ageism and a line that 00:16:35.185 --> 00:16:43.220 i keep close to my heart is ageism is discriminating against your older self 00:16:43.528 --> 00:16:46.005 because hopefully we all do, 00:16:46.505 --> 00:16:53.066 get to become older older and wiser and all the wisdom that older adults have, 00:16:53.257 --> 00:16:57.925 it's just never made sense to me why there is ageism. 00:16:58.885 --> 00:17:03.555 I've just never, never understood it because there's nothing I love more than 00:17:03.555 --> 00:17:10.355 having a conversation with someone who has just years and years and years of life and experience. 00:17:10.355 --> 00:17:15.084 It just goes in the bucket with all other isms, right? It's bias. 00:17:16.418 --> 00:17:21.985 Maybe people will learn. And one thing that to the degree that I'm able that 00:17:21.985 --> 00:17:27.005 I enjoy doing is to disprove what being 80 looks like. 00:17:28.881 --> 00:17:33.446 Would you prefer to age independently in your own home or live in a nursing 00:17:33.446 --> 00:17:35.947 facility? I know what I'd rather do. 00:17:36.271 --> 00:17:39.146 Friends Life Care membership offers just that. 00:17:39.552 --> 00:17:44.440 Plan today for a future lived at home with vitality, independence, 00:17:44.649 --> 00:17:47.881 growth, and resilience while protecting your savings. 00:17:48.219 --> 00:17:51.353 Learn about your options at a free seminar or webinar. 00:17:51.876 --> 00:18:00.357 Register at friendslifecare.org slash register or call 215-628-8964. 00:18:02.453 --> 00:18:05.808 Welcome back to Honestly Aging by Friends Life Care Vigor. 00:18:06.098 --> 00:18:10.986 Today, I'm joined by Friends Life Care member Jerry Schmidt for a conversation 00:18:10.986 --> 00:18:15.252 about active aging and what it means to stay engaged, connected, 00:18:15.404 --> 00:18:20.187 and doing the things that bring meaning and joy to our lives as we grow older. 00:18:21.840 --> 00:18:25.296 Another part of Aging Well is thinking about the future while, 00:18:25.296 --> 00:18:28.882 of course, continuing to enjoy the life that we're living right now. 00:18:29.579 --> 00:18:34.006 Since you're a Friends Life Care member, I'd like to hear from you what first 00:18:34.006 --> 00:18:39.326 got you thinking about planning ahead for your own aging and led you to become 00:18:39.326 --> 00:18:40.620 a Friends Life Care member. 00:18:41.244 --> 00:18:46.116 Well, neither my husband nor I remember how we found out about Friends Life 00:18:46.116 --> 00:18:49.903 Care, but we found out shortly after we had moved here. 00:18:50.414 --> 00:18:54.316 We must have seen an ad or something. And we'd only been here a couple of months 00:18:54.316 --> 00:18:59.022 before a friend's life rep came and met with us. 00:18:59.551 --> 00:19:06.040 And I think it's partly because we did

know that we wanted to be independent, 00:19:06.394 --> 00:19:09.877 either forever or for as long as possible. 00:19:10.260 --> 00:19:14.616 And it seemed such an attractive way to be able to do that. 00:19:15.156 --> 00:19:18.156 And we obviously don't want to, I mean, everybody feels that way. 00:19:18.156 --> 00:19:19.834 We don't want to be a burden on our kids. 00:19:20.089 --> 00:19:25.586 We want to just be independent in that regard, too. So it's very comforting 00:19:25.586 --> 00:19:32.086 to know that Friends Life Care will provide someone to help manage details if 00:19:32.086 --> 00:19:33.629 and when we get to that point. 00:19:34.697 --> 00:19:38.000 Has having a plan in place affected the way you approach your life? 00:19:39.192 --> 00:19:43.563 I don't think about it a lot. I don't have to, right? Yes, correct. 00:19:43.563 --> 00:19:46.948 I feel like I've done it. We did it 18 years ago. 00:19:47.441 --> 00:19:50.253 We still just keep moving. Keep moving. I love it. 00:19:51.749 --> 00:19:57.943 The one thing I love about the idea of active aging is that there are always 00:19:57.943 --> 00:20:01.590 new things to experience and things to look forward to. 00:20:01.933 --> 00:20:05.410 What are you looking forward to at this point in your life? 00:20:06.006 --> 00:20:10.673 That bucket list of places to travel We'd made this conscious decision to compress 00:20:10.673 --> 00:20:16.279 it As I said before And now we just have to get out and do it So, 00:20:16.975 --> 00:20:20.393 And of course, you know, my grandchildren are getting older And, 00:20:20.693 --> 00:20:26.852 you know, we're just really anxious to see What paths they choose for their lives So, 00:20:27.913 --> 00:20:31.569 I think that those are the things that we look forward to most Next. 00:20:32.624 --> 00:20:37.059 Are you willing to share what's number one on your travel bucket list? 00:20:38.109 --> 00:20:40.872 Mine or my husband's? Let's hear both. 00:20:42.178 --> 00:20:47.059 We're going to Scotland in September for his big birthday. 00:20:47.639 --> 00:20:51.958 Number one on my travel bucket list is New Zealand. 00:20:53.168 --> 00:21:01.441 Wow. I have the best time in Scotland, and I hope New Zealand is soon behind it. Thank you very much. 00:21:02.562 --> 00:21:08.906 So what advice would you give someone who wants to stay active and engaged as they get older? 00:21:09.646 --> 00:21:13.802 Here we go. I'm ready for this one. Just do it. 00:21:15.156 --> 00:21:20.682 Just do it. You're not going to find it in your easy chair in your living room. 00:21:21.901 --> 00:21:25.198 You have to find it. Agreed. 00:21:26.189 --> 00:21:31.221 And lastly, if someone met you today, what would you want them to know about 00:21:31.221 --> 00:21:33.457 aging from your experience? 00:21:34.210 --> 00:21:38.390 You know, I've never been athletic. I talk about exercising a lot. 00:21:38.721 --> 00:21:40.748 This is a recent development. 00:21:41.357 --> 00:21:47.845 It's one that I find extraordinarily rewarding, and I'm just doing it because 00:21:48.089 --> 00:21:54.057 I'm now physically stronger, and I would say that I experience less stress, 00:21:54.794 --> 00:21:58.155 and more fun than I ever have before in my life. 00:21:58.870 --> 00:22:04.941 Amazing. Well, Jerry, thank you so much for joining me today and sharing your 00:22:04.941 --> 00:22:08.482 experiences and perspective with us. It's been a pleasure. 00:22:08.947 --> 00:22:11.667 Cheryl, thank you very much. I've really enjoyed our chat. 00:22:13.066 --> 00:22:16.901 Thank you for listening to Honestly Aging by Friends Life Care Vigor, 00:22:16.901 --> 00:22:21.675 a unique program focused on aging with vitality, independence, 00:22:21.919 --> 00:22:23.469 growth, and resilience. 00:22:23.759 --> 00:22:29.501 You can find links and show notes from this episode on our website at friendslifecare.org.